#i'm so tired of working 18 hours a day 5 days a week

[legallysilly]

i'm experiencing a bittersweet reminder that working two jobs is no longer sustainable to my wellbeing

[backtothefanfiction]

Professor Peter Parker

Summary: The first day of college nerves are suddenly made worse when you realised the guy you f*cked last night is your new Physics Professor!

Warnings! 18+ ONLY! This is some of the filthiest smut I have ever written and posted on here yet. Female reader and pronouns, Age gap (everyone is of legal age, Peter is a very young Professor), Oral (F + M Receiving), Dirty Talk (so much fucking dirty talk), praise kink, edging, P in V, Peter Parker (YES he does need his own warning), One Night Stand... or is it?, ITS SEX PEOPLE, JUST STRAIGHT UP SEX WITH A LITTLE PLOT FOR ADDED TENSION AND POW!

Word Count: 4.9k+

A/N: Consider this my formal application piece for the literary prostitutes society. There are no words for this, so I'm just gonna type/sing Don't Lose Your Head from Six. "Sorry not sorry but what I said, I'm just tryin' to have some fun..." But seriously though this was so self indulgent and I can't believe this came out of me. It's very much giving Aria and Ezra in Pretty Little Liars but older and much more Peter Parker. Also I am really sorry about if the tense keeps changing, I sometimes have a problem with finding my rhythm and I really cba to spend the time working it all out and changing it.

First day of college. Standard level of nerves for a first day. Are you running on just a couple hours of sleep? Sure. Still a little tipsy from last night? Okay, yeah, maybe just a little, but that’s a good thing right. Takes the edge off. But then again numbers and science had never let you down before. You can do physics. You’ve got this.

You took a deep breath, hand hesitating on the door handle. ‘This is the first day of the rest of your life.’ You said to yourself, breathing deeply.

You found a spot somewhere in the middle of the room. Not so eager you were at the front but you also didn’t want to hide away in the back. That and you were pretty sure you were due for an eye test and if you sat any further back you wouldn’t be able to read the board. You got out your notepad, flipping open to the first page, your fingers smoothing across the fresh paper comfortingly. You reach for a fresh pencil from the novelty pack your Mom had bought you especially for your first week, knowing you prefer the feel of writing in pencil than pen, the ink always getting smudged on your hand from your messy scrawl. You pluck the one with tiny zebra all over it from the clear case before placing it back in your bag. Your fingers drum the back of the pencil on your page nervously as you wait. You tried not to overthink things as your stomach began to churn. Had you really turned up this early? You took a quick look around the room at the other 5 people who had actually been there before you. ‘Hey,’ you reasoned to yourself, ‘at least you weren’t as early as them.’ 

You yawned. Damn you were tired. Although you had this early class, when your new room mate suggested you go out with the guys who lived across the hall you couldn’t say no. To be fair, it had been a good night all considered. You had met some new people, exchanged a few numbers, agreed to go to the end of semester drama club performance even though the term had only just started, drank way too many jello shots, got snuck into a local bar and then ended up going home with a tall brunette with the softest yet devious brown eyes you had ever seen who completely rocked your world. 

You absentmindedly rubbed your thighs together, squirming slightly in your seat as you thought back to his head between your legs. The lewd moans he’d pulled from your lips echoing around your brain. It sent a fresh new wave of arousal straight to your core.

‘Not the time or place.’ you berated, instead forcing your mind back into the classroom and the task at hand. ‘Physics of Matter with Professor Peter Parker. He was probably middle aged’ you thought to yourself. It was always the case with classes like these, middle aged men finally leaving the lab for the first time after finally completing their life's work, now relenting to their wife’s begging to spend more time with the family. Or older men with white hair, wrinkles and tweed, desperately holding on to their independence, understimulated by the idea of retired life when all that knowledge of matter and the universe was rattling around their brains. ‘Young hot professors were only to be found in the movies or on TV’ you daydreamed as you tried to distract yourself from the growing pit of nerves in your stomach.

You check your phone every few seconds as other students file into the room, finding their own seats as you count down the minutes. 5 minutes… 3 minutes… 2 minutes… 1 minute… … He’s late… 1 minute past… 2 minutes past… 3 min-

“Okay, okay, settle down!” A voice called out as the classroom door opened, far younger than she expected and slightly familiar. “Welcome to Physics of Matter,” the voice continued as he made his way towards the board, picking up a bit of chalk and lifting it to the board as he spoke, “I am Professor Parker, but please,” he said dropping the piece of chalk back onto the little shelf at the bottom of the board, “call me Peter.” He said finally turning around.

SHIT!

DOUBLE SHIT!

You dip your head towards your page as you sink a little bit down in your seat. Hopefully he won’t notice. ‘FUCK!’ your head was suddenly screaming as all those memories of the night before flooded your brain again. His messy hair. His naked body. The way he had moaned into your cunt- FUCK!

You subtly glanced around the room from your head's dipped position. This had to be some new prank show right. There’s no way this happened in real life. There had to be cameras. He’s an actor right? Ashton Kutcher was about to burst through the classroom door shouting “YOU’VE BEEN PUNK’D” any second followed by the actual Professor Parker, right? Right?

“Now I’m not gonna ask you to get your books out this lesson,” he began to say playfully, his voice carrying around the room as he walked back and forth in front of his desk surveying his new class. “Today is about you getting to know me and me just going over all the things we are gonna be covering over the course of our year together.” He said, talking a lot with his hands. “As much as I’d love to start getting into equations with you, I’ve learnt that that tends to be futile during our first lessons. I mean, just by a show of hands, who went out drinking last night?” Professor Parker asked and a shower of hands across the room went up, Peter’s gaze scanning across the faces of the raised hands as he continued, “Keep your hand up if you’re still a little bit drunk-” his voice cut off as his eyes finally landed on you, his own oh shit face befalling him.

You felt your skin crawl as people lowered their hands and began following his gaze to you. You moved your hand up to your face as you sank down in your seat further. ‘Stop staring. Stop staring. Stop staring!’

8 HOURS EARLIER 

“I couldn’t help but see you staring.” He said as he sidled up to you. ‘Holy fuck’ he was gorgeous. Tall, lean, perfectly messy brown hair and the most delicious biceps (not too big) that were flexing under the cuffs of his fitted T-shirt you really just wanted to wrap your fingers around and squeeze. Damn. “Is she okay?” He said turning to your friend.

“Yeah she’s just-“ your roommate started before nudging you and breaking you from your hypnotised gaze on this absolute Adonis of a man. “She thinks you’re really hot!” she shouted over the music to him.”

He raised his eyebrows as he gave a small chuckle, flattered, as you cringed. They both laughed at you. “Do you wanna dance?” he asked as he took your hand.

“Yes, she does!” your friend said, pushing you off your stool. His other hand comes out to steady you as you almost slam into his chest. You blush before turning to give your roommate a death stare. 

He flashed one of those charming smiles again before he began to guide you away from her and to the dance floor. His hand doesn’t leave yours as he starts to bop and bounce, easing you both into the music. You slowly relax, smiling as a giddy feeling churns in your stomach, as you begin to bop with him to the music.

The music swells and he gives you a twirl under his arm before he pulls you closer to him. “So have you got a name or am I supposed to refer to you as flower for the rest of the night?”

You frown. “Why Flower?” 

“Isn’t that the name of the skunk in Bambi who is all quiet and has those big eyes and blushing cheeks and-”

“Don’t call me Flower.” you quickly say, slightly embarrassed by the way you had gone all goo goo eyed and helpless over him.

“Okay, then what can I call you?”

You hesitate for a second as you think about giving him your real name but what would be the fun in that, especially if this only turned out to be a one night stand. “Trouble.”

He laughs, his head dipping to hide his amusement. “Is that so?” he says from beneath his lashes. “Fine, if that’s how we’re playing it, you can call me Professor Brat Tamer, Professor for short.”

You feel your arousal soak your panties the moment he says it, the words going straight to your core. What have you gotten yourself in for? It’s like he knows too from the way he’s smirking. He turns you, pulling you back into him, his hands resting on your hips as he begins to grind himself against your ass. “Now, are you gonna be a good student?” he coos against your ear only loud enough for you to hear. “Or are you gonna be like your namesake says and cause me a whole lot of trouble?”

He can feel the way you relax your body back against him, your eyes closing as you relish in the feeling his words elicit in you. 

You smirk as you look back at him, “I’m sorry Professor, but you may have your work cut out for you.”

An hour and a half later he’s pulling you into his apartment, your back slamming hard against a wall of exposed brick as your mouth latches onto his. Both of you had done so well keeping your hands to yourself the whole way back, but the moment you got through the door it was like a starting pistol had gone off, both of you suddenly in a race for pleasure.

You moan against his mouth as his tongue slips between your teeth. You can taste his final Jack and Coke he had had before you left. Your skin felt like it was burning under his touch.

“Fuck.” You gasp as his mouth is suddenly moving across your jaw and down your neck, his teeth and stubble grazing you slightly in his hunger for you. 

“God Trouble, you sound so fucking pretty.” he coos against your chest, his hand moving to paw at your breast, bunching it up to spill over the top of your dress as he leaves wet kisses across the skin.

Your fingers wrap around his messy tresses as you pull his head back up so you can connect your mouth with his again, a small growl escaping his lips at the slight pain. You kiss him messily, both of you breathing heavily before you push him back, allowing you room to drop to your knees on the hardwood floor. Your fingers immediately begin to fight with his belt buckle, the sound of the metal clinking sending arousal straight between your own legs.

“Fuck.” He pants as he looks down at you, his hand reaching to cradle either side of your face as you pull down his jeans and his boxers in one swift pull. “Uh, baby, baby, baby.” he coos as you take his length into your mouth and immediately begin to work your tongue up and down his cock.

His fingers move away from your face, grabbing at the hem of his t-shirt and you watch as he pulls it up and over his head, exposing the rest of his body to you. Fuck he really was gorgeous. “Oh my god.” he cried out when you began to swallow his length down your throat, your nose pressing to his pelvic bone. “Uh,” he said, his head tipping back, “she’s not trouble, she’s fucking perfect.” he says as he drops his head back forward to watch you, his thumb reaching to wipe away a stray tear at the corner of your eye.

You take his length out of your mouth as you gasp for air and he thinks it’s the sexiest thing he’s ever heard. “Come here Trouble.” he says as he takes your face and chin in his hands and lifts you from the floor, pulling your lips back to his as he smashes his mouth into yours.

He begins to kick off his shoes as well as his jeans and boxers that now sit tangled around his ankles as he continues to kiss you, freeing himself so he can lift you up into his arms, your own arms throwing themselves around his neck, as he carries you to his bedroom.

You can’t help but cheekily bite at his lower lip as he stops just before the foot of the bed. “Oh she has some bite does she?” he says against your mouth. Your teeth almost clash together from how close you are as you grin, waiting to see what he’ll do or say next. “Okay,” he says as he pauses a little for dramatic effect, “I can bite back.” he says before throwing you back on the bed.

You let out a small squeal as you're caught by the mattress springs and pillows. You quickly prop yourself up on your elbows so you can see the devilish look on his face as he pulls off your heels before he stalks up the bed towards you. He leans over you, attaching his lips to yours once more, his tongue sliding deftly into your mouth and out again with every kiss until his last, when he uses it to suck your lower lip between his teeth, pulling on it. He releases it just as you’re beginning to feel it bruise, his lips instead attaching to your throat as his hands come up to pull down the top of your dress. He had already clocked that you were sans bra from how low the back of your dress was and is even more grateful now he can immediately latch himself onto your nipples, his tongue lapping at the small sensitive nibs, one and then the other.

You moan under his touch, your eyes falling closed as your head tips back, fingers gripping tightly at the covers beneath you. When he looks up at you, keening under his touch, he thinks it's the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. “Look at me baby.” he softly commands and you oblige, your chin pressing to your chest as you gaze straight into those big brown eyes. It’s the sexiest eye contact you’ve ever held. It’s like he’s fucking you with his eyes as his fingers begin to snake their way up your thighs, lifting the bottom of your dress up to your hips so he can pull down your underwear. He takes one feel of them before saying, “Fuck, trouble, these are soaked.”

You can only nod in agreement, as all words seem to have left your brain. ‘Fuck, he’s so fucking hot’ you think, as he kisses his way down your middle, over your dress until he reaches the hem where he can start kissing at your skin. You sigh, your head falling back again at the sensation of his lips kissing across your hips and then down your thighs. 

His fingers spread your legs and he gives a small nip to the inside of your thigh and you gasp at the small feeling of pain, that quickly turns to pleasure, as yet another wave of arousal floods between your legs.

“Fuck, baby, you’re dripping.” he says as his finger scoops up the arousal thats begining to drip down your thighs, bringing it up to his mouth. You watch hypnotised as he sucks on his fingers. “Damn, trouble, you tast so fucking good.” he says as he slips his fingers from his mouth. It’s so filthy. He has barely done anything and you’re a fucking goner.

His tongue suddenly crashes between your folds. “FUCK!” you cry out loudly. His fingers trace over your thighs, reaching for your own fingers which you entwine with his. He’s got his eyes closed, savouring every moan, every little gasp he pulls from you. 

He can tell you’re getting close from how your cunt begins to grind itself down against his tongue, chasing you’re high, but to allow you to have it would be too easy. He listens closely to your breathing, your moans; one… two… he suddenly moves his mouth away and you want to scream. He playfully nips at the inside of your thigh, almost hard enough to bruise. You really do scream now in frustration. “Told you I could bite.” he says coily as he mumbles against your skin. 

He licks another stripe through your folds as if in apology, as if to soothe the sting but his tongue flicks at your sensitive clit before he sucks it hard between his lips and you cry out again. “Mmmm.” he hums against your cunt, “you sound so pretty when you scream like that.”

You want to cry, you are so sensitive and overstimulated but suddenly he’s lapping at your pussy again and you’re melting back into the bed as your muscles begin to relax again with the long slow licks of his tongue.

When you both begin to feel the build of your climax again he doesn’t pull away this time. He lets you have it, your thighs closing around his head, hips bucking off the bed as the wave of pleasure crashes over you. He keeps going, his mouth lapping up everything you’ll give him until you're pulling yourself away from him. Tears well in the corners of your eyes from the over stimulation as you pant and whine and rub your thighs together, desperate for the feeling to dissipate. He grabs at your ankles, holding you still as you flop back into the pillows at the top of the bed.

“So good for me Trouble, you’re doing so good.” he says as he crawls up the bed to kiss you. 

Although he’s wiped at his mouth, the taste of you still remains and you lick it off every part of his mouth you can reach as he settles himself between your legs.

His hands slide up your thighs before they’re grabbing ahold of your waist and suddenly he’s flipping you, his head crashing into the pillows as you straddle his hips. Your lips race to chase his as you continue to pant breathlessly into his mouth, another flood of arousal soaking between your legs. 

His fingers reach for the bottom of your dress, lifting it up and off your head, leaving you finally, completely naked before him. “Fuck, trouble,” he moans as his eyes drink you in, “has anyone told you how absolutely fucking perfect you are.” You giggle and blush as you lean down to kiss him. “No. No. Look at me.” he says as he takes your head in his hands and moves you away from him so you have to look at him. He’s giving you that look with his eyes again as he holds your face in place, not allowing you to break eye contact with him for one single moment as he begins to grind his hips up against you, his rock hard cock grinding against your clit. Your mouth falls open in a silent gasp. “So fucking perfect.” he repeats. “Now tell me, trouble, how do you want me to fuck you?” You can’t think, your eyes closing as you try to focus your thoughts as his skin drags across your clit teasingly. He gently taps your cheek with his fingers, forcing you to open your eyes and look at him. “Eyes on me Trouble,” he says, “find your words, tell me how you want me to fuck you.”

You shake your head as you close your eyes again, really unable to think. “Options.” you say breathlessly, your eyes flying open, before he can punish you for breaking eye contact again. “Give me options.” 

“Okay.” he concedes with a small nod and a smile. “Okay, pretty girl.” he repeats again soothingly as he pulls you back down closer to him, his lips kissing you sweetly and encouragingly, aware he’s over stimulating your brain. “I can fuck you like this.” he says as he looks into your eyes. His hand slowly trails down to wrap around your throat, his other hand still cradling the back of your head as he flips you again. “Or I can fuck you like this.” he says as he continues to slowly grind himself against your sex. “Or,” he says as he lowers his head down to the crook of your neck, breathing you in deeply as he speaks directly into your ear, “I can flip you over and fuck you from behind.” You sigh as his words go straight to your core again.

“The last one.” you say breathlessly as your eyes close.

“MMM.” he hums into your ear as his teeth nip at your jaw, satisfied with your response. He pushes you back into the bed slightly as he lifts himself onto his knees, his hands moving away from your face and you watch him eagerly as you await his next move. He leans over to the bedside table, reaching into the draw for a condom, lazily tugging at his length with one hand whilst he uses his teeth and the other hand to open it up. You’re almost starring as he’s rolling it down the length of his cock, fully taking in his erect size. He smirks when he looks up to notice you nibbling at your lower lip.

“Come here, trouble.” he says before he’s flipping you over, your head finding a comfortable position on the pillow as he lifts your ass into the air. 

He slides his fingers down your opening before placing two fingers slowly inside you, stretching you out and you let out another breathy moan at the feeling. He pumps them in and out of you a couple more times before he slowly lets them slide out of you, his fingertips dragging agonisingly across your clit before he uses them to pump his cock again a couple times, shifting himself into position.

His fingers grip tightly onto your hips as he lines himself up and slowly pushes himself inside you, your back arching with the stretch, head shifting as you let out another moan of satisfaction into the pillow. “Mmm, let me hear you baby.” he says as his hand removes itself from your hip to reach for the back of your head, his fingers tangling in your hair as he turns your head back towards him.

“Fuck.” you hiccup as he pulls himself out little by little before he’s slamming his hips forward against your ass, pushing himself in even deeper.

“Fuck, trouble. So fucking tight for me.” 

You lose all ability to speak as he begins fucking into you, slowly building his pace until he’s fucking into you at a wicked speed. You want to scream again, your face screwing up in ecstasy as his cock continuously hits that spot inside you that makes you want to explode. His other hand reaches around for your throat, pulling you back up as he leans over you so he can stick his tongue back into your mouth. It adjusts his angle somehow, making the feeling in your cunt even more intense. Your mouth falls open as he holds it there, you’re panting and moaning into his mouth. “Look at me.” he encourages as his thumb rubs soothingly across your jaw. You can’t help but obliged. 

It’s too much. It’s the hottest, most filthiest sex you’ve ever had. You know you’ll never be the same again. Nothing, no one, will ever compare to this. “Please, please, please.” you find yourself repeating as your eyes close again. You’re so close and he knows it because your cunt is constricting like a vice around his cock. 

He moves his hand down to circle at your clit between your legs. “Come on, trouble, give it to me,” he coaches, “Fuck, baby!” he snarls against your mouth as he smashes his lips to yours again, pulling at your lips bruisingly. 

You pull your mouth away from him, wailing, gasping for breath as your body convulses around him, his pace only slowing slightly to help you ride out your climax. “So good.” he coos, “My trouble, so fucking good for me. Atta girl.”

His pace is steady as he feels you begin to relax again but you’re still so stimulated. You’re surprised he’s still going. “Your turn.” you say to him breathlessly and he smiles. When he doesn’t say anything you decide to push your luck. “How do you want to fuck me?” you coo, now you’re the one who’s eye fucking him.

You watch as he closes his eyes, head falling back. He chuckles then, something low and devious. He suddenly pulls out of you. It makes you feel so empty. You’re about to whine but then he’s flipping you over and pulling your legs together and then over his shoulder as he bends you in half. He lines himself back up with your entrance and slips back in with ease and you gasp as he bottoms out, the position making him hit that devastating spot inside you instantly. He leans all the way over so he can kiss you, his mouth swallowing every moan, gasp and breath that leaves your mouth as he pounds down into you like something fierce.

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.” you whine as the sensitivity grows too much. His pelvis is slamming against your clit with every thrust. Now you really are crying, your eyes rolling back in your head as you feel yourself clamping down on his cock again. 

“Oh my god, baby.” he says. “You’re so fucking wet. So fucking good. Such a good fucking girl.”

It’s a guttural wail you let loose into the room as you cum and his head dips down as he buries himself in the crook of your neck, his thrusts growing even faster as he chases his high. “Stay with me, Trouble,” he says, trying to ground you. He lifts his head, hand reaching for your face, forcing you to look at him. “Just a little bit longer, baby, just a little bit-” but he can’t finish his words. He’s so fucking close. One pump, two- he suddenly stills as he buries himself inside you, his forehead pressing into yours grounding you both as he pumps his seed into the condom inside you. You whine at the feeling of his cock pulsating against the still extremely sensitive spot inside you.

“You did so good.” His voice reassures as he strokes soothingly across your cheek forcing you to look at him as you breathe deeply and heavily in your come down. “So fucking good.” he says as he kisses your forehead before slipping out of you. 

With his body no longer crowding you you fully relax back into his sheets, your eyes closing as you try to regulate. You think you might even pass out. You think you may even have blacked out for a second, but you know you haven’t as your eyes fly open and your body jumps at the feeling of a cool damp cloth between your legs.

He watches you content as you suddenly relax once more, the cool washcloth doing wonders to soothe the hot swollen feeling between your legs as he cleans you up. You definitely black out then, completely exhausted.

You are disturbed again a few minutes later, a soft reassuring hand brushing up your legs. “Here.” his voice says softly as he sits on the side of the bed next to you, waiting for you to open your eyes and look at him so he can pass you a glass of water.

The cold liquid does wonders to help regulate your temperature and you can’t help but stare at him again in wonder as he sits before you in a pair of flannel pyjama bottoms. He leans over you, kissing the top of your head, breaking you from your sex induced stupor.

“You can stay if you want.” You nod your head, you have no energy to move yet.

“Okay.” he says with a soft smile as he takes the now mostly empty glass from your fingers. “I’m gonna go get you another one of these,” he says motioning to the glass now in his hands, “you go to the toilet, there’s a spare toothbrush under the sink, get yourself ready for bed and when you get back we can cuddle.”

You still have no words, just dociley nod and agree. You wobble slightly as you try to stand, blood rushing back to your limbs and his hand reaches out to steady you. “I’ve got it, I’ve got it.” You say as you sway slightly and wave him away.

He just chuckles. “Whatever you say, trouble.”

You crawl into bed beside him 5 minutes later, tucking yourself into his side as his arm wraps around you. “You really are Professor Brat Tamer huh?” you joke as you nestle into his bare chest.

“And don’t you know it.” he smiles, pulling you tighter into his side so he can place a kiss to the top of your head.

You wake just after 6am, sneaking from his bed with a smile on your face as you pick up your clothes before doing the walk of shame back to your student halls. The sun is just coming up and the leaves are just starting to change, you can still feel the alcohol in your system as well as the after effects of your orgasms and you know, although you’re tired, today is gonna be a great first day… or was it?

________________________-

@tarzinnia @withahappyrefrain @xenasolos @sincericida

Is this a one off? I don't know. Is there a lot of room for this to turn into a collection of shorts... yeah, maybe.

[scrollonso]

First Kiss (Race 17)

A strollonso AU where 18 year old rookie Lance Stroll falls helplessly in love with the notoriously mean world champion. (1.5k words, no warnings) [@v3lnys @biancathecool] {fluff chapter! they go on a little date :3}

last part - masterlist - next part (coming soon)

As soon as Lance got off the plane, he checked his phone and smiled at the name on his screen. Nando.

"You are free tonight?"

"Yep," Lance quickly typed, coming to a standstill in the middle of the airport.

"Dress pretty, I'll come at 5." The Canadian nodded to himself and wheeled his suitcase out to the car his dad had sent for him.

Over the past week, Lance had finally come out to his father. He was scared of how his dad would react, but Lawrence had simply hugged him and apologized for the hurtful things he said. Lance had cried, feeling both embarrassed and relieved. This time, his dad didn't call him a queer for his long hair, (but he did ask if that's why he was growing it out, like a mating call.)

Back at the hotel, Lance anxiously checked the time as he lay on his stomach on the bed. He'd been dressed for two hours already, and there were still 20 minutes until 5. Sharing the room with Nico meant Nico had to endure Lance's constant whining and complaining as he waited.

"Bubu," Nico started, Lance looking over at him before he continued "Shut up."

"You're so rude." Lance groaned again, slamming his face into the pillow in his arms "If you were waiting for Lewis you'd be impatient too." He mumbled into the pillow

As soon as Fernando picked Lance up, his face was lit with a broad smile. "You clean up well," he teased, leaning in to give Lance a quick kiss on the cheek.

Lance blushed, his heart racing. "Thanks. You look great."

In the car, they talked easily, their hands occasionally brushing against each other.

Fernando's thumb gently stroked the back of Lance's hand, sending shivers down his spine. Even though they'd been together for months at this point Lance still felt like he had an embarrassing highschool crush.

They arrived at a cozy Italian restaurant, a favorite of Fernando's, with dim lighting and an intimate atmosphere.

The host led them to a quiet corner table, where they settled in. Fernando reached across the table and took Lance's hand. "I've been looking forward to this all day," he admitted, his eyes softening as he gazed at Lance.

"Me too," Lance replied, squeezing his hand. "It feels good to be here with you. I missed you"

When the waiter arrived, Fernando confidently ordered for both of them. "We'll start with the bruschetta and caprese salad, and for the main course, the seafood risotto and the truffle gnocchi."

Lance smiled, appreciating his decisiveness, knowing that he would've stared at the menu helplessly if he had to order for himself. "You really know your way around a menu," he laughed, remembering how Fernando had talked about this place before.

Fernando hummed. "Is not too hard, I know what you like."

As they waited for their food, the conversation naturally shifted to the upcoming Grand Prix.

"Are you ready for the race?" Fernando asked, his eyes meeting Lance's in the warmly lit resteraunt, it wasn't too busy so there was no reason for them to pretend this wasn't a date.

"Definitely," Lance replied. "The team's been working hard on the car, and Nico's been great. What about you and Giancarlo?"

Fernando nodded, a playful grin on his lips at the thought of his close friend and teammate. "We've been pushing Renault to the limits, am convinced the engineers are tired of both of us. The circuit is hard, but always a fun one."

Lance leaned in, eyes lidded slightly as he smiled at his boyfriend, laughing at his own anxiousness. "I'm worried."

Fernando laughed too, the sound warm and reassuring. "You’ll get it. Just trust yourself."

Their appetizers arrived, and they shared bites of bruschetta and caprese salad, playfully feeding each other small bites and laughing at the mess they made. The conversation flowed from racing to personal stories, with Lance sharing funny anecdotes about his childhood and Fernando recounting his early days in racing, really whatever they could think of that the other didn't know.

When the main courses arrived, they dug into the rich flavours, occasionally stealing bites from each other's plates.

Fernando brushed a strand of hair away from Lance's face, his touch lingering. "You have no idea how happy I am right now, Mi sol." he said softly.

Lance smiled, his heart swelling with affection. "Me too. I missed you."

As the evening went on, their hands found each other across the table, fingers intertwined. They talked about their hopes for the future they wanted together, their fears, anything and everything that came to mind. Fernando's support and understanding made Lance feel more confident and secure, ready for the weekend ahead.

When they finally left the restaurant, the night air was cool, and Fernando wrapped his arm around Lance's shoulders, pulling him close. "You'll do great, Lance. Just remember why you love it."

Lance smiled, feeling a warmth in his chest. "Thanks, Nando. I needed that."

Back in the car, they drove back to the hotel, the city lights reflecting in their eyes. Fernando parked and turned to Lance, his expression serious but tender. "I believe in you, Lance. Both on and off the track."

Lance leaned in and kissed him, a slow, lingering kiss that conveyed all the feelings words couldn't express. "I love you," he whispered.

Fernando smiled, his eyes sparkling with emotion. "I love you too, Mi vida."

The Suzuka Circuit was buzzing with anticipation as the weekend kicked off. Qualifying had been a mixed affair for the drivers. Fernando was barely leading the championship and only managed to secure 5th on the grid. Lance had managed to place 11th, earlier in the season he would've celebrated but 11th was embarrassing in a race-winning car.

The lights went out, and away they went. Fernando had a great start, quickly moving up to 3rd by the end of the first lap. His driving was precise and aggressive, every move perfect.

Lance, starting from the middle, was determined to score points for Racing Point again. By lap 10, he had already made his way up to 8th, maneuvering through the field with newfound confidence and determination to not let down his team. Nico was battling just behind him, holding his own and supporting the team's efforts.

Renault'a strategy came into play as the race progressed. He timed his pit stops perfectly, managing to leapfrog his rivals and move into 2nd place. With ten laps to go, he managed an overtake for the lead, cementing his position at the front. From there, he maintained a relentless pace, never giving his competitors a chance to catch up.

Lance, meanwhile, continued to impress. By the final laps, he had climbed to 6th place, a remarkable feat given his starting position and the teams results earlier in the season.

As the chequered flag waved, Fernando crossed the finish line first, securing a vital win and extending his lead in the championship. The crowd erupted in applause, celebrating his drive as they alwaya did. Lance finished in 6th, an excellent result that underscored his growing potential.

The podium ceremony was a blur of cheers and champagne. Fernando stood tall on the top step, the Spanish anthem playing as he raised the trophy high. Lance watched from the sidelines, his heart swelling with pride and admiration for his boyfriend. He couldn't wait to see his lover on the top step a hundred more times.

After the ceremony, Fernando made his way through the throngs of well-wishers to find Lance. Their eyes met, and a smile spread across Fernando’s face. Lance stepped forward, not hesitating before embracing him tightly.

"You were incredible out there," Lance murmured, his voice distorted in the fabric of the Spaniards fireproofs.

Fernando pulled back slightly, looking into Lance’s eyes. "You too, Lancito. Sixth place is amazing. Getting better every weekend."

Nico eventually joined them, a satisfied grin on his face. He had finished 9th, a solid result, but his thoughts seemed to be elsewhere. Lance caught him glancing towards the paddock entrance where Lewis Hamilton, still in GP2, was standing. There had been whispers about Nico and Lewis, and it seemed those rumors were grounded in truth.

As the evening wore on, the celebrations moved to the Renault hospitality area. Fernando and Lance found a quieter corner, away from the people still in blue and yellow.

"Every race, I see more of your potential," Fernando said softly, his hand brushing Lance's as he continued to praise him.

Lance smiled, leaning into Fernando's touch. "I only drive fast because the sooner I'm done the sooner I can see you," He laughed, embarrassed at his own confession

Their connection was undeniable, even those convinced it was purely platonic couldn't deny the connection between the two polar opposite drivers. In that moment, surrounded by the hum of celebration, they found a moment of peace and intimacy.

"To many more victories," Lance whispered, his voice full of promise.

Fernando smiled, pulling Lance closer. "Together"

[chroniclesofbts]

Call Me Home Part 3

Idol hybrid BTS x hybrid foreigner reader

Warnings: implied sexual themes, smut, angst, fluff, polyamorous relationship

If you’re not 18+ please, do not interact.

As always, my works do not represent BTS in any way, this is purely a work of fiction.

*short chapter, I cut this part in half because it was so long*

Y/N's POV

Coming to, I can hear voices around me and an annoying beeping. Listening intently I hear the words, "not heat", "too risky", "trauma", and "management". The monitor attached to my heart gave away that I was waking up, the beeping increasing. My eyes flutter open, the light blinding me initially.

"Hey, welcome back. You really scared me there" Jin said softly, sitting on the edge of the hospital bed. "I thought my face was just too handsome for you" he joked to lighten the mood.

"How are you feeling Miss... ?" A woman in scrubs asked

"Fine, head is a little heavy, I'm a little sore too. What happened?" I questioned

"You passed out in the shower with Jin. You didn't hit your head or anything, he managed to hold you up and call Jungkook for help." I flushed at the thought of Jungkook seeing me naked. "Can I ask you some personal questions?" The doctor asked gently, "Your pack can stay here or leave if you feel uncomfortable at any time"

"Um, s-sure" I stuttered

"Do you have any nightmares?"

"Oh, uh yeah, most people do though" I joke

"How many a week?" She says writing things down on a clipboard.

"Uh it depends, maybe like 5?" Jin's hand finds mine, and holds it in a comforting manor.

"Do you ever feel numb?" She continues

"Yeah, I guess if I get too overwhelmed I do." I answer honestly

"Do you feel like you startle easily? Have trouble concentrating?"

"Sometimes" I answer, starting to close in on myself.

"Last question, where do you see yourself in the future?"

"I mean, how far out? I see myself with the pack, for as long as I have left" I answer, feeling Jimin lean his head on my shoulder from the right side where he was sitting.

"I see, thank you for answering my questions, I will talk to your packs leader and you should be able to go back to their dorms in the next few hours." She smiled, motioning to Namjoon to follow her.

"How long was I asleep?" I ask Jimin

"3 days, you must have been tired and your body was recovering from the shock to your system with the pills you took." Jimin explained.

"Why was she asking all of those questions?" I ask him nervously, "Did I do something wrong, are you going to replace me?" I whimper

"No! No, baby, never" Jin said, squeezing my hand. "We just want to make sure we can help you, make sure we can be enough for you"

"Oh, why?" I mumble confused as I feel myself blush.

"Because you deserve the perfect pack" Jimin said, pushing his nose further into my scent gland.

"Wait, I thought I was in heat" I look at Jin, who looks away bashfully.

"Your body has never had a heat, it wasn't ready for a heat, your body was fighting the medicine, it caused you to get sick. Right before you passed out I could smell the shift in your hormones, I just didn't figure it out until you passed out. I, o-overwhelmed your b-body. I c-caused it, I am so sorry" He cried, "we don't deserve to be your pack, we couldn't even take care of you as soon as we got you"

"Jin, I don't blame you. It's not your fault, how could anyone have known? You caught me, right? I didn't get a concussion. It's okay"

Before he could respond, Namjoon came in the door followed by a man I had never met before.

"This is Sejin, one of our managers. After talking with the medical staff, we think it's best to start you on a month of medicine to encourage a natural heat cycle. This will also give your body time to adjust to being in a pack, as well as let your mind work through everything that has happened recently. With the rush of moving and education, now this, your body and mind are overwhelmed. We want to make sure you're completely healthy and ready." Namjoon explained as the nurses started to detach me from all of the medical equipment.

"Take it easy for the first week, bed rest for the first 5 days at least. Your body is recovering and we don't want anything to delay the process." The nurse explained.

"Here, we brought you some clothes, its ours, but we will get you your own soon" Jungkook said, handing me some clothes that smell like all of them. He helped me up with a blush and led me to the connected bathroom to change. I quickly changed into the sweatpants and shirt, pulling the drawstrings so they fit move comfortably. I opened the door and found him waiting outside, eyes widening, pupils dilating, at me in their clothes. He extended his hand to me and started to walk me over the the wheelchair.

"I don't need that" I said, trying to pull out of his grip.

"Okay" Jungkook smirked, sweeping me off my feet, "but you can't walk, doctors orders. I prefer this way too" he winked.

"W-wait, actually, the chair l-looks fine" I stuttered through my embarrassment.

"Sorry, cutie, I like this way" He smiled, staring at me with a fondness I haven't seen yet. He carries me through the lobby and outside to the waiting car. Jimin's mouth dropped open as he whined about how unfair it was that he got to carry me, causing a few others to grumble too. He hands me to Namjoon, who pulls me close in his lap, shoving his face into my neck and relaxing. The drive was filled with lots of joking and flirting, I swear my face was always flushed. Jin steals me away from Namjoon to carry me inside and up the stairs to their room. It has a large bed where they obviously sleep all together, lots of pillows and blankets resembling a den. Jin gently lowered me into their den, showing through actions that he could care for me. I immediately relaxed, realizing that even being surrounded by predators, I was safe. I let my eyes flutter closed, my body pulling me under with exhaustion. The last thing I register is a body laying down gently next to me, in their animal form, their purring lulling me deeper into dreamland.

Taglist open (please let me know if I missed you): @dachshunddame @minjianhyung @minhanbyeol

[dumpster-diving-rat]

Rating bsd characters (Port Mafia) based on how likely I think they are to fall asleep on you

(Asked for by kurayamiakura ♡ Also just like the first one, this is mainly while you're both work in the pm, but if you want to think of it as anywhere, do so as you will)

Ryunosuke Akutagawa

1/10

-He definitely doesn't just sleep at work, even if he doesn't have much stuff to do

-Even so, he does have a more calm side

-He will only fall asleep on you if no one is around, and if he thinks nobody will just come into the room

-Rests his head on your shoulder while sitting next to you

-You can obviously feel him doing this, so you decide to bring it up

-"Shut it." You didn't even get a chance to say what you wanted before he said this

-He eventually falls asleep on your shoulder, his breaths getting calmer by the minute

-He's a light sleeper, and is more alert after waking up

-He doesn't make noise in his sleep, and doesn't have many nightmares, as far as you can tell

-If he has a nightmare, he won't say anything, and will appear calm

He's a calm sleeper, but will berate you if you mention him ever falling asleep on you

Chuuya Nakahara

2/10

-He's an executive, I don't think he really has much time on his hands

-However, he had multiple missions that day, and it wore him out just a bit

-Personally calls you into his office if you aren't already in there

-"Hun, I'm going to need a favor." He just wants to rest his head on your lap

-Does rest his head on your lap, getting comfortable almost immediately

-He sighs, it has probably been a long day at work for him

-Slowly falls asleep, comfortably

-He's a heavy sleeper, but would wake up if you called for him, or shook him

-He grumbles angrily in his sleep

-He only has nightmares occasionally, but they're mainly about The Sheep, and how they betrayed him

-Other than that he's pretty relaxed in his sleep

Angrily grumbling in his sleep, but you see him smiling slightly as well. Maybe he's thinking of you?

Oda Sakunosuke (don't really plan on writing him that much, but I had an idea for him)

5/10

-It's not completely unlikely for him to just rest with you, or on you

-He does like to have an arm around you typically as you both sleep

-However, there was a change

-The night the orphans died, he sobbed in your arms, unable to find himself letting go

-Instead of having one arm around you at night, he started completely bear hugging you as you both slept

-Occasionally, he cried, sometimes, he blankly stared out as he hugged you

-Restless nights went from almost none to at least two times a week

-He found himself unable to rest with you next to him, afraid that you'll fall to the same fate as the kids

-This night, he rests his head in your lap as you work silently

-His arms are around you, and he isn't facing you

-He falls asleep slowly, breathing slower by the minute

-He's a light sleeper, but he used to be a heavy sleeper

-He sleeps soundly, occasionally having nightmares

-Although you can't exactly tell he's having a nightmare, you can tell the moment he wakes up with wider eyes, his breathing transitioning from slow and calm, to quick and unsteady

-It's been a harder time for him, but once he sees you, he slowly calms down more

He seems to sleep calmly, even when he's having a nightmare (I apologize for writing this 😭 IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO ME)

Dazai Osamu (not the 15 arc, this is when he's 18 for clarification)

4/10

-Honestly, he only does this at work when he's bored, I doubt he'd do this on a regular basis

-Rests his head on your lap, probably complaining about everything going on in the Port Mafia

-Tired rambling until he falls asleep

-Mumbling in his sleep quietly

-Very light sleeper, but could be a heavier sleeper sometimes

-Has very few nightmares, but doesn't mention them ever

-Sleeping calmly, but if you make barely any noise he'll most likely wake up

If you ever mention him sleeping on you, he'll act like it never happened, and then sleep on you the next hour for no reason

I'm sorry it took such a long time! I feel like this is not my best work either 😭 If you have any requests, I have an ask box, or you can comment the request. No incest, noncon, dubcon, or NSFW though. Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this!

[aita-irl]

Aita for not going to my best friend's birthday?

I (19) am working. I'm working half hours in the morning and half in the afternoon

Recently my schedule just changes at whatever and today I didn't even know my times

Last week I got the 3-11 shift for two days in order to cover the day offs my coworkers had

On the 3rd day I was working 7-3 (cause it's Saturday and they need me cause it's a busy day)

So. For 3 days straight I hadn't properly eaten anything just 2 toasts and on Saturday I was with 4-5 hours of sleep

I was exhausted. Hungry and in need of sleep

My friend(F19) had made a group chat the day before and told us she was inviting us for her birthday

Now the thing is, her birthday was actually last Tuesday not Saturday

Monday night we 3 (her and our other best friend (F18) we are a trio) met, and 18 had planned a surprise

As soon as the day changed at 12:00 she brought a cake and we surprised her

It wasn't big but we were there

Now when she wanted to do it on Saturday again I was exhausted

And I texted her and told her I would not be able to make it cause I was exhausted

She said "It's fine it's not like I'll force you to come if you're tired" and I apologized but I was dead I could not go I would just ruin the mood if I had gone and I was just miserable

And it wasn't like it was a big birthday party we would be five persons in total and she said we were going for a drink or something

Apparently while I was sleeping her mom called my mom

And her mom was really mad

"my daughter has been there for her, how dare she not come? You only celebrate your friend's birthday once! And last time she didn't go out with them and went with you what is this " and stuff like that

* recently I went out for food with my mom and her coworkers instead of a drink with the girls and I guess they're mad about this too

And like. I thought she understood, I explained?

And also the "you only celebrate your friend's birthday once" is just wrong cause we already celebrated her birthday on the actual date I had no idea she was planning to invite us 5 days later

And I was planning on taking a day off on her actual birthday but didn't cause I'm planning to leave work earlier and didn't want any day offs for the month

Oof

Also, this is unrelated but they basically forgot my birthday. This was months ago and I never mentioned anything cause in the end they did call me(15-20 minutes before my birthday ended, so technically they wished me?) but for the whole day I was feeling shity cause I thought they forgot

And knowing them they probably did

But it's ok

I just? I never said anything about this, we surprised her on her actual birthday and when I'm this close to dying from exhaustion my mom gets yelled at about me?

Like I understand it's her day

But I'm exhausted

I explained it to her

Am I the asshole?

[naoyaslut]

The Hills Ch. 27

pairings: ran haitani x (wife)reader

wordcount: 5k

warnings: anxiety, semi-stalking, overprotective husbando ran, police interrogations, little bit of makeup sex.

synopsis: detective vancouver makes an unannounced visit at your place of work, planting seeds of doubt about Ran and the Bonten organization.

a/n: i loove stories with a whole lot of drama, kidnapping, muder, actionnnn. I'm bringing this story back because there was such a bunch of nutty stuff happening and I feel like the way I ended it wasn't really giving me any closure, so off we go again! you can also read this story on AO3.

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You try to maintain a sense of normality as you finish out the work week. You see your clients, pick up Kai from daycare, and spend most of your free time at home by yourself. Ran is preoccupied with speaking to lawyers and operatives within Bonten. In fact, you see more of Rin than your own husband.

As you sit at your desk in your office, feeling agitated, your eyes keep drifting towards the box of wedding invitations that still need to be sent out. The entire situation overwhelms you with fear. Although you were aware of what you had gotten into, you couldn't help but wonder if the new charges were a result of Kenji's death or perhaps Detective Tachibana's.

You knew that the authorities would never let a police officer's death go unpunished. It seemed like everything was falling into place now - they needed someone to blame, and Ran was likely their perfect target.

A light rapping at your office door broke you out of your own thoughts as you sat up straight.

“Come in,” you say, your attention now on whoever was at the door.

Yoko stepped in, a smile on her face while she held the door open.

“Everything okay?” she asked.

You nodded, flashing her friendly smile before readjusting in your seat. “Yeah, just fine. What’s up?”

“I finished up blocking off your calendar for the next couple of weeks, did you need anything else form me before I headed out?” Yoko asked.

“No, that was it,” you stood up, idly shuffling around some lose sheets of paper on your desk. “Enjoy your PTO,”

As Yoko left, closing the door behind her, you sank back into your chair with a heavy sigh. The late afternoon sun slanted through the blinds, casting long shadows across your desk.

You found yourself staring at the box of wedding invitations again, your fingers tracing the embossed lettering. The weight of everything - Ran's legal troubles, the whispers of betrayal within Bonten, the uncertain future looming before you - pressed down on your shoulders.

The quiet hum of the air conditioning and the muffled sounds of the city outside were suddenly interrupted by a sharp knock at your office door. You frowned, glancing at your watch. Your last appointment had ended over an hour ago, and Yoko had just left for her vacation. Who could be knocking?

"Come in," you called, straightening in your chair and smoothing your skirt.

The door swung open, and your breath caught in your throat as you recognized the man standing there. Detective Vancouver, his weathered face etched with lines of determination, stepped into your office. The late afternoon sunlight glinted off his badge as he closed the door behind him with a soft click.

"Mrs. Haitani," he said, his voice low and gravelly. "I hope I'm not interrupting."

You swallowed hard, your heart pounding in your chest.

"Detective Vancouver," you managed, forcing your voice to remain steady. "This is... unexpected. Do we have an appointment?"

He shook his head, a wry smile playing at the corners of his mouth. "No appointment. This isn't an official visit."

Your eyes narrowed slightly as you studied him. He looked tired, the shadows under his eyes more pronounced than you remembered from the last you talked. His suit was slightly rumpled, as if he’d been wearing it for days.

As he stood there, his eyes scanned your office, taking in every detail.

“Not official?” you repeated, your stomach beginning to churn with nausea. “Then may I ask why you’re here in my office, detective?”

What was it with these detectives and these off the books meetings? Him being here could get you in more trouble with Ran, you weren’t supposed to be talking to anyone without a lawyer present. Ran didn’t want you talking to them AT ALL.

Detective Vancouver sighed, running a hand through his graying hair.

"Mrs. Haitani, I'm going to be straight with you. I've been working this case for years now, and I know there's more going on than meets the eye. I was hoping we could talk... off the record."

Your pulse quickened at his words. Off the record could mean anything - a trap, an opportunity, or something far more dangerous. You kept your expression neutral, years of living in Ran's world having taught you the importance of a good poker face.

"I'm not sure what you think I could tell you that I haven't already said, Detective," you replied, your tone neutral.

"Mrs. Haitani, I'll be frank with you. This case goes deeper than just your husband. There are powerful people involved, people who won't hesitate to eliminate anyone they see as a threat."

Your heart raced at his words, but you kept your expression carefully neutral.

"I'm not sure I understand what you're implying, Detective."

He leaned forward, his eyes intense. "I think you do. Mrs. Haitani, I've been doing this job for a long time. I can tell when someone's caught in the middle of something they never asked for."

You felt a chill run down your spine, but you held his gaze steadily.

"Detective, I appreciate your concern, but I really don't know anything about my husband's business dealings. If you have questions for Ran, you should speak to his lawyer.”

Detective Vancouver's eyes narrowed slightly as he studied you.

"Mrs. Haitani, I understand your loyalty to your husband. But I need you to understand the gravity of the situation. We're not just talking about weapons trafficking anymore. There's evidence linking Bonten to Detective Tachibana's death."

Your breath caught in your throat, your heart pounding so loudly you were sure he must be able to hear it.

"Detective Tachibana?" you repeated, fighting to keep your voice steady. "I wasn’t aware he was dead."

You knew damn well he was dead. Detective Tachibana hounded you, much like this detective was… even showed up at the hospital a few years ago after you unfortunately caught a stray bullet compliments of Ivy.

It was only a matter of time that the authorities came up with information regarding his demise.

Vancouver's gaze didn't waver.

"He was killed a few years ago. Officially ruled a homicide, but we have reason to believe it was a hit ordered by someone high up in Bonten."

You felt the blood drain from your face as Detective Vancouver's words sank in. Your mind raced, flashing back to that night years ago when Ran had come home, his eyes haunted but determined as he told you everything had been "taken care of." At the time, you hadn't wanted to know the details. Now, the weight of that willful ignorance pressed down on you like a physical thing.

"I'm sorry to hear about Detective Tachibana," you managed, your voice barely above a whisper. "But I don't see what this has to do with me or my husband."

Vancouver leaned forward, his eyes intense.

"Mrs. Haitani, I think you know more than you're letting on. I'm not here to trap you or trick you into saying something incriminating. I'm here because I believe you're in danger."

Your heart pounded in your chest as you met Vancouver's penetrating gaze. The late afternoon sunlight slanting through the blinds cast stark shadows across his weathered face, highlighting the deep lines of concern etched there. For a long moment, neither of you spoke, the only sound the faint hum of the air conditioning and the muffled noise of traffic outside.

"Danger?" you finally managed, your voice barely above a whisper. "I don't understand."

Vancouver leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees as he fixed you with an intense stare.

"Mrs. Haitani, I've been doing this job for a long time. I've seen how organizations like Bonten operate. They don't tolerate loose ends or potential liabilities."

A chill ran down your spine at his words, but you fought to keep your expression neutral.

"I'm not a liability,"

Vancouver's eyes softened slightly, a flicker of sympathy crossing his weathered features.

"Maybe not intentionally," he said gently. "But you're a vulnerability, Mrs. Haitani. You and your daughter. And in their world, vulnerabilities are dangerous."

You felt your breath catch in your throat, your mind racing. Images flashed through your head - Kai's innocent smile, Ran's protective embrace, the shadows that always seemed to lurk at the edges of your perfect life.

The detective leaned forward, his voice low and urgent.

"I've seen how this plays out before. They'll do anything to protect themselves, even if it means sacrificing their own. And right now, with the heat we're putting on them, you and your daughter are liabilities they might not be willing to risk."

Your hands trembled slightly as you clasped them in your lap, fighting to maintain your composure.

Your heart thundered in your chest as you absorbed Vancouver's words. The late afternoon sun cast long shadows across your office, the golden light seeming to dim as the weight of the situation pressed down on you. You could feel beads of sweat forming at your hairline, your silk blouse suddenly too constricting.

"I... I don't know what you want from me," you managed, your voice barely above a whisper.

Vancouver leaned forward, his eyes intense and earnest.

"I want to help you, Mrs. Haitani. You and your daughter. I've seen too many innocent people caught in the crossfire of these organizations. I don't want that to happen to you."

You swallowed hard, your throat dry.

"And how exactly do you propose to help me?"

The detective reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out a small business card. He placed it on your desk, sliding it in your direction.

You stared at the card on your desk, your heart pounding. The embossed letters seemed to swim before your eyes as you read "Detective Eli J. Vancouver" and a phone number.

"This is my personal number," Vancouver said softly. "If you ever feel that you or your daughter are in danger, call me. Day or night. I can get you into protective custody, give you a fresh start away from all of this."

Your fingers trembled as you picked up the card, turning it over in your hands. The weight of it felt impossibly heavy, laden with choices and consequences you weren't sure you were ready to face.

"Detective," you began, your voice shaky. "I appreciate your concern, but my husband would never let anything happen to me or Kai. We're his whole world."

Vancouver's expression softened, a hint of sadness creeping into his eyes.

"I'm sure he loves you very much, Mrs. Haitani. But love isn't always enough in this world. Sometimes, the people closest to us can put us in the most danger, even if they don't mean to."

You felt a lump forming in your throat, tears threatening to spill over.

"You don't know Ran," you whispered. "You don't know what he's capable of, what lengths he'd go to protect us."

The detective nodded slowly. "You're right, I don't know him personally. But I know men like him. And I know the choices they're forced to make in this life. Sometimes, protecting the ones they love means letting them go."

His words hit you like a physical blow, and you found yourself gripping the edge of your desk to steady yourself.

The detective's words hung heavy in the air, the silence stretching between you like a chasm. You stared at the business card in your trembling hands, unable to meet Vancouver's intense gaze. The late afternoon sun slanted through the blinds, casting long shadows across your desk and illuminating the dust motes swirling in the air.

After what felt like an eternity, Vancouver sighed heavily, the sound seeming to break the spell that had fallen over the room.

"I've said my piece, Mrs. Haitani," he said softly, his voice tinged with a mixture of resignation and concern. "The choice is yours now."

You looked up, meeting his eyes for a brief moment. The weariness etched into his face made him look older, the weight of countless cases and broken lives visible in the lines around his eyes. For a fleeting instant, you felt a surge of empathy for this man who had devoted his life to a seemingly endless battle.

"Thank you for your concern, Detective," you said softly, your voice steadier than you felt. "But I think it's time for you to leave."

Vancouver nodded, a flicker of disappointment crossing his face before he schooled his features back into a neutral expression. He stood slowly, straightening his rumpled jacket.

"Remember what I said, Mrs. Haitani," he said, his hand on the doorknob. "That number works any time, day or night. Don't wait until it's too late."

With that, he slipped out of your office, and out of the building leaving you rattled.

With shaking fingers, you reached for your phone, scrolling through your contacts until you found Ran’s name. Your thumb hovered over the call button, but something held you back.

What would you even say? How could you explain anything that had occurred in this office without Ran becoming instantly suspicious?

Opening the drawer to your desk, you slipped Detective Vancouver’s card inside, burying it beneath a stack of papers. Out of sight but not out of mind.

Glancing at the clock on your desk, you realize with a start that it was well past time to pick up Kai from daycare. Gathering your things, you tried to push the meeting between you and Vancouver to the back of your mind, focusing instead on the mundane details of your evening routine.

As you stepped out of the office building, the air was thick with exhaust fumes and the faint aroma of street vender food, a heady mixture that seemed to encapsulate the essence of the city. You paused for a moment on the steps, fishing in your bag for your sunglasses to shield your eyes from the harsh glare.

Across the street, a non descript sedan sat idling at the curb, its tinted windows reflecting the golden light of the setting sun. To the casual observer, it might have seemed like just another parked car in the sea of urban traffic.

But in the shadowy interior, a figure sat hunched over a camera with a telephoto lens, the rapid-fire click of the shutter barely audible over the ambient noise of the city. The camera’s lens tracked Detective Vancouver as he exited the building, capturing his every move as he made his way down the street. Then it swung back, focusing on you as you emerged from the office’s revolving doors.

Unaware of your tail, you navigated the busy streets on autopilot, your mind still reeling from the conversation with Vancouver. By the time you reached the daycare, you were surprised to see that Ran was already present, carefully guiding Kai out of the building with her hand in his.

Seeing Ran and Kai together outside the daycare sent a wave of conflicting emotions through you. Relief at the sight of your family safe and whole warred with the lingering unease from your conversation with Detective Vancouver.

As you approached, Kai's face lit up.

"Mama!" she squealed, breaking free from Ran's grasp to toddle towards you on unsteady legs.

You scooped her up, wrapping her in a tight hug.

"Hi baby," you murmured, pressing a kiss to her forehead. Over Kai's head, your eyes met Ran's.

His expression was unreadable, his amethyst eyes scanning your face as if searching for something.

"You're late," he said, his tone neutral but with an undercurrent of tension.

"I'm sorry," you replied, adjusting Kai on your hip. “I had some things I had to finish up at the office, I meant to give you a call,”

Ran's eyes narrowed slightly as he studied your face.

"Everything alright?" he asked, his tone casual but his gaze intense.

You swallowed hard, forcing a smile.

"Of course," you replied, bouncing Kai on your hip. "Just busy with work. How was your day, sweetheart?"

Kai launched into an animated recounting of her day at daycare, her childish chatter filling the awkward silence between you and Ran. As you listened to her, nodding and making appropriate sounds of interest, you could feel Ran's eyes on you, searching for any sign of deception.

"Let's head home," Ran said finally, reaching out to take Kai from your arms. "I'll make dinner tonight."

The drive home was tense, the air in the car thick with unspoken questions although you drove separately. It felt wrong to lie to Ran, well… Technically you weren’t lying, just holding back some info. It’d be better for him to hear it from you, rather than someone else.

You pulled into the driveway after Ran, parking your sedan beside the black SUV he drove. By the time you exited your own vehicle, Ran had scooped Kai up in his arms and was standing at the front door unlocking it with his house key.

You followed him inside in silence, listening to Kai gush all over him her hands slung tightly around his neck. She missed her dad, that much was obvious and the sight of watching those two interact with one another nearly brought tears to your eyes.

How could you do any of this without Ran. There wasn’t a world where you imagined where he wasn’t in the picture. The wedding you imagined, the big house, a big happy family, you never saw any of that slipping through your fingers in your shared future.

The evening pressed on as usual, after a bath you had Kai asleep and ready for bed by 8 PM. Ran spent a majority of the evening on the phone, busy, in his study. You knew there was a lot going on, hell Ran was probably just as stressed as you were. But you wanted to talk to him about the meeting at your office, you had to tell him, keeping secrets wouldn’t play out well for you in the future the longer you kept them from him.

Leaving Ran to take his important phone calls in his grand study, you retreated to the privacy of your shared bedroom. With a sigh of relief, you made your way into the spacious bathroom, adorned with marble countertops and sparkling gold fixtures. You indulged in a moment of luxury, carefully selecting your favorite bath oils and lighting scented candles before starting to run a warm bath. As you slipped out of your clothes and into the luxurious, oversized bathtub, you let all of your worries melt away in the soothing water.

The warm water enveloped you like a comforting embrace, the lavender-scented steam rising in delicate wisps around you. You closed your eyes, letting your head rest against the curved edge of the tub as you tried to quiet the tumultuous thoughts swirling in your mind. The soft glow of candlelight flickered against your eyelids, casting dancing shadows on the tiled walls.

Time seemed to stretch and blur as you soaked, the tension slowly seeping from your muscles. The quiet drip of the faucet and the occasional distant sound of traffic outside were the only interruptions to the peaceful silence. You let your mind drift, focusing on the sensation of the water lapping gently against your skin, the silky feel of the bath oils you'd added.

You weren't sure how long you'd been lying there when you heard the soft click of the bathroom door opening.

Your eyes fluttered open as you heard Ran's footsteps approaching the tub. He stood there for a moment, his eyes roaming over your form beneath the water before he began unbuttoning his shirt.

"Mind if I join you?" he asked, his voice low and husky.

You shook your head, shifting slightly to make room as Ran slipped out of his clothes and into the warm water behind you. His strong arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you back against his chest. You let out a contented sigh, relaxing into his embrace.

For a long moment, you both simply sat there in comfortable silence, the gentle lapping of the water the only sound in the room. Ran's fingers traced lazy patterns on your skin beneath the surface, sending pleasant shivers down your spine.

"You seemed tense earlier," Ran murmured, his lips brushing against your ear.

You felt a shiver run down your spine at Ran's words, torn between the comfort of his embrace and the weight of the secrets you were keeping. For a moment, you considered brushing it off, assuring him everything was fine. But the memory of Detective Vancouver's warning echoed in your mind.

Taking a deep breath, you turned slightly in Ran's arms to face him.

"Something happened at the office today," you began hesitantly, your voice barely above a whisper. "The same detective from earlier this week came in to talk to me again."

You felt Ran tense behind you, his arms tightening around your waist.

"What did he want?" he asked, his voice carefully controlled.

Swallowing hard, you recounted the conversation, watching Ran's expression carefully as you spoke. When you finished, a heavy silence fell over the bathroom, broken only by the gentle lapping of water against the sides of the bathtub.

Ran's expression darkened as you recounted your conversation with Detective Vancouver, his jaw clenching visibly. When you finished speaking, a heavy silence fell over the bathroom.

"He said what?" Ran's voice was dangerously low, his arms tightening around you. "That bastard had the nerve to come to your office and threaten you?"

You shook your head quickly, water droplets scattering from your damp hair.

"No, Ran, it wasn't like that. He seemed... concerned. He said he wanted to help."

Ran let out a harsh laugh, the sound echoing off the tiled walls.

"Help? By trying to turn you against me? By planting doubts in your mind?"

Ran's eyes blazed with a cold fury that caused you to freeze, despite the warm water surrounding you. You could feel the tension radiating from his body, his muscles coiled tight like a spring ready to snap.

"Ran," you said softly, placing a hand on his chest in an attempt to calm him. "He didn't turn me against you. I'm here, aren't I? I'm telling you everything."

His gaze softened slightly at your touch, but the anger still simmered beneath the surface.

"You should have called me immediately," he said, his voice low. "This detective is dangerous, Y/N. He's trying to manipulate you, to use you to get to me."

You chewed on your lip, torn between the logical reasoning of Ran's words and the growing fear that Vancouver's visit had instilled in you.

"I-I know," you whispered, your voice trembling with uncertainty. The memory of Vancouver's warning about liabilities flashed through your mind.

Was Ran really be capable of hurting you? You hesitated, unable to trust your own thoughts. After all, if you became a threat to the organization, he would likely dispose of you without a second thought. Your heart raced as you grappled with this terrifying realization, unsure of what to believe anymore.

Ran's expression softened slightly as he took in your trembling form. He cupped your face gently in his hands, tilting your chin up to meet his gaze.

"Y/N," he said softly, his bright eyes intense as they searched yours. "I need you to listen to me very carefully. You and Kai are everything to me. Everything. There is nothing in this world I wouldn't do to keep you safe."

His thumb brushed across your cheek, wiping away a tear you hadn't realized had fallen.

"I know you're scared," he continued, his voice low and soothing. "And I'm sorry for that. I never wanted this life to touch you or Kai. But you have to understand - Vancouver, the police, they don't know me. They don't know us. All they see is what they want to see."

You swallowed hard, your eyes searching Ran's face. Despite the intensity of his gaze, you could see a flicker of vulnerability there, a desperation to make you understand.

"I know," you whispered, your voice barely audible. “I know you love us, Ran. But... the things Vancouver said..."

Ran's jaw clenched, a flash of anger crossing his features before he controlled his expression.

"What exactly did he say?" he asked.

You hesitated, weighing your words carefully.

"He said... he said that sometimes, in this world, the people closest to us can put us in the most danger. Even if they don't mean to."

Ran's piercing gaze bore into you, his fingers tightening around your waist with barely noticeable strength.

"And you believe him?" His voice was low and laced with a dangerous edge.

You froze in his grasp, feeling both vulnerable and desired as he pulled you closer. Your reply came out in a trembling voice, the tension between you palpable.

Ran let out a frustrated sigh, releasing his hold on you and stepping back. "Let's just get some rest," he said, motioning towards the bedroom.

He stood in the bathtub, water trickling down his toned body as he reached for a towel from the closet. As he helped you out of the tub, he gently wiped you down before retrieving your robe and holding it up for you to step into.

But before you could leave the bathroom, Ran pulled you close once more, his hands cupping your face tenderly.

"I hope you know that I love you more than words can express," he murmured, leaning in to kiss you.

His kiss was passionate and fervent, his tongue tracing over your bottom lip in a show of affection. You melted into his embrace, feeling loved and cherished in his arms.

As Ran's lips moved against yours, a heady mixture of desire and unease swirled within you. His hands slid down to your waist, fingertips ghosting over the damp silk of your robe. You shivered, not entirely from cold.

"I love you too," you breathed as he finally pulled away. The words felt both true and somehow insufficient, failing to capture the complexity of your emotions.

Ran's amethyst eyes searched yours, a flicker of something unreadable passing through them.

"Then trust me," he murmured, his voice low and hypnotic. "Whatever Vancouver said, whatever doubts you have... I need you to believe in us."

You nodded, wanting desperately to banish the nagging worry that had taken root. Ran's fingers intertwined with yours as he led you to the bedroom, the plush carpet soft beneath your bare feet.

The room was bathed in soft amber light from the bedside lamps, casting long shadows across the walls. As you approached the bed, your gaze was drawn to the cityscape beyond the floor-to-ceiling windows, a glittering expanse of lights that seemed to mirror the stars above.

Ran released your hand and moved to close the heavy curtains, plunging the room into a cocoon of darkness and privacy. You perched on the edge of the bed, the silk of your robe clinging to your still-damp skin. The mattress dipped as Ran sat beside you, his warmth radiating through the thin barrier of fabric between you.

"Y/n," he murmured, his husky voice sending shivers down your spine. His fingers traced the curve of your shoulder, leaving a trail of heat in their wake.

"C’mere," he whispered, pulling you onto his lap with strong arms encircling your waist.

Ran's lips brushed along your pulse point, causing your heart to race and your breath to hitch. His hands roamed freely over your body, teasing at the sash of your robe until it fell open, exposing your skin.

You allowed it, even assisting him by shrugging off the silk fabric from your shoulders, eager for his touch. The cool air of the room contrasted with the warmth radiating from Ran's body as he leaned in closer.

“I love you,” Ran said, his voice filled with adoration as his hand trailed up your inner thigh. You couldn't help but let out a soft moan as his fingers reached their destination at the apex of your thighs.

“I love you too,” you squeaked, your voice trembling with desire as he continued to explore every inch of your body with skilled fingers.

“Prove it,” he rasped, laying you down on the soft comforter and hovering over you like a predator ready to claim its prey. Your heart raced with anticipation as you eagerly complied, showing him just how much you loved him in every way possible.

His lips pressed against yours once more, his tongue eagerly exploring and entwining with your own as you writhed beneath him. Your legs parted instinctively, inviting him to come closer. He wedged himself between your thighs, his body pressing against yours in a primal embrace. You could feel his hardness against you, the tip of his growing arousal rubbing slowly and teasingly against your slick folds. Each touch sent shivers down your spine and fueled your desire for more of him.

You arched into Ran's touch, your body responding to his with an intensity that left you breathless. The world beyond your bedroom faded away, leaving only the intoxicating sensation of skin on skin, the mingling of their breaths in the dim light.

Ran's amethyst eyes locked onto yours, dark with desire yet tinged with something deeper - a possessiveness that both thrilled and unnerved you. His fingers tangled in your curls as he claimed your mouth in a searing kiss that spoke of barely restrained passion.

"Mine," he growled against your lips, his voice rough with need.

Your own reply was lost in a gasp of pleasure as Ran entered you in one smooth thrust. You moved together in a familiar dance, bodies entwined and hearts racing. The air grew thick with the scent of your lovemaking, punctuated by soft moans and whispered endearments.

As you neared their peak, a distant sound filtered through the haze of passion - the chime of Ran's phone on the nightstand. He ignored it, focusing instead on bringing you to the edge of ecstasy. But even as waves of pleasure washed over you, you caught a fleeting expression cross Ran's face - a tightening around his eyes, a tension in his jaw that hadn't been there moments before.

In the afterglow, as they lay tangled in sweat-dampened sheets, that same tension lingered in the set of Ran's shoulders. His fingers traced idle patterns on your skin, but his gaze was distant, as if his mind had already left your intimate cocoon for darker waters beyond.

[cutedisneygirl]

Love Online

Chapter 18

Warnings: none

  The next day Merida wakes up and is eating breakfast when Tiffany calls her.

                 "Hey girl!"

                 "Hey! How's it going?"

                 "Good. Just eating breakfast."

                "How did things go with Chris's family?"

                 "Went well. I love his family."

                 "That's good. You know his new movie came out. Would you want to go see it?"

                  "Oh yes! I want to see it."

                  "Do you want to go later? I think I saw a showing for 12:30."

                  "Yes! I just need to get a quick shower then I will be ready."

                  "Okay. I will be there in 30 minutes."

They hang up and Merida finishes eating and then gets ready to leave. After Tiffany gets there, they head out. While they are on the way Merida gets a text.

Chris-Hey babe! What are you up to?

Merida-On my way to see your movie ☺️

Chris-Oh okay, are you with Tiffany?

Merida-Yes

Chris-Well have fun. I will talk to you later. Message me when you get back home. I love you. 😘

Merida-Okay I will. Love you too ☺️😘

The girls arrive at the movie and they both love it. It wasn't what either of them expected.

                  "Wow, that was a good movie! That was a different kind of role for Chris." Tiffany says.

                  "Yes, it was. Not I what expected at all."

                  "Me neither."

             Tiffany drops Merida off back home 

                 "I'll talk to you later. Have a good night."

                 "Night."

              After Merida opens the door Dixie greets her.

                "Hey girl! Did you miss me?"

Dixie barks. Merida heads to the couch and Dixie jumps up and lays down next to her. She pulls out her phone and messages Chris.

Merida-Hey

Only a few minutes later she gets an answer back.

Chris-Hey babe. How was the movie?

Merida-It was good. Not what I expected but it was good.

Chris-You didn't tell me what you saw😉

Merida-No I didn't. ☺️Knives Out

Chris-☺️can I face time you?

Merida-Yes

Chris FaceTime's Merida.

              "There's my beautiful girlfriend."

Merida smiles.

              "So it wasn't what you expected huh? What does that mean?"

               "It was a different role for you. Not use to seeing you in a role like that. But I liked it."

               "Oh okay. Well glad you liked it."

Chris and Merida talk for about an hour before he says he has to go but will talk to her later that night. Merida spends the day reading and then later watches some TV then gets ready for bed and reads till Chris calls her and they talk for a few hours before they say goodnight. The months pass and it is December. Chris and Merida continue to talk every night and message each other during the day when he can. He was on a break from filming but will be starting back in January. One day during nap time Chris and Merida are texting.

             Chris-So what are your Christmas plans?

Merida-I always spend Christmas Eve with my dad and normally Christmas day too.

Chris-I would love to see you.

Merida-I would love to see you too.

Chris-How about we spend Christmas Eve with your dad and then Christmas day with my family?

Merida-But how can we do that? Boston is 10 hours away!

Chris-Right. I'm tired. Well we could spend Christmas Eve with your dad then leave early Christmas morning and get to Boston around 5:30?

Merida-What time are you thinking of leaving?

Chris-7:30?

Merida-Seriously? That early?

Chris-Is that too early?

Merida-A little. I'm not a morning person remember.

Chris-I remember and I can get you up. 😉

Merida-lol we will see. When will I see you?

Chris-When are you off from work?

Merida-I am off the whole week of Christmas and off the 30th and 31st I don't go back till the 6th.

Chris-Oh well I can come Saturday 21 and we will have a whole week together and a few extra days.

Merida-That sounds good. ☺️Would you fly or drive?

Chris-Probably drive. It's not too bad.

Merida-That is a long drive though

Chris-It's not too bad. I don't mind. I need to go. I'll talk to you tonight. Love you

Merida-Love you too.

The rest of the week goes by fast. Merida stays busy with work and finishing up her class for the semester. She is looking forward to seeing Chris. She misses him. She is getting better with the comments on Instagram. They have actually died down a little since Chris's post. There are still some that keep telling him they think he deserves better, but Merida doesn't let it bother her. She knows Chris loves her and she loves him and she knows they will make it work. The weekend before the weekend Chris is due to come Merida gets out her Christmas decorations from her closet. She is trying to decide if she wants to put up her fake tree or get a real one. She has not had a real one in a while. She starts putting out her small decorations around the house. She decides to wait on the tree and decide later. Maybe Chris would go with her to pick out a tree. She doesn't talk to Chris again till Friday night. The day before he is arriving. He does text her but he is staying busy so he hasn't been able to FaceTime her.

         Friday night Merida has just climbed into bed when Chris FaceTime's her.

          "Hey beautiful."

          "Hey."

          "I can't wait to see you tomorrow."

          "I can't wait either. Do you know what time you will get here?"

           "Probably around 5 or 5:30."

           "Okay."

           "That is if I can get up and get myself moving in the morning and leave around 7:30."

           "Oh, wow. Maybe I should say goodnight so you can get some rest."

           "It's okay babe. I'm not ready to say goodnight yet."

    Merida smiles. "Okay. Hey I got a question for you."

           "Sure."

          "I was debating about putting up my fake tree or getting a real one. I didn't know if you would want to go pick out a tree with me."

          "I'd love to do that babe. I love the smell of real trees."

          "Okay we can do that then."

It just hit her that she hasn't gotten Chris anything. What could she get him? She needs to call Tiffany.

          "I can't wait to see you babe. We will have fun."

          "Yes. Chris, I need to go. I just remembered I need to call Tiffany."

          "Okay babe. I will text you tomorrow when I am leaving. I love you sweet dreams."

          "Goodnight. I love you too."

Merida hung up and calls Tiffany.

            "Hey girl! What's up?"

             "Hope I didn't wake you."

            "No I was just reading in bed. What's up?"

             "I need your help. I just realized I forgot to get Chris anything and he is coming tomorrow."

             "Oh. What time will he be there?"

              "He said around 5 or 5:30."

              "Okay we can go tomorrow afternoon if you want. Any idea what you want to get him?"

               "I have no idea! I was hoping you could help."

              "Sure. How about we grab lunch then we can shop. I can pick you up at 12."

               "Sounds good."

The next morning Merida wakes up gets a shower and then grabs her cup of coffee and a bowl of cereal and washes her dishes then does a little straightening around the house. She is just finishing when she hears a knock.

            "Hey girl!" she says opening the door.

              "Hey! You ready to go?"

               "Yes. And I have some ideas. I searched online some last night and this morning."

             "Okay sure. You can tell me at lunch."

The girls get into Tiffany's car and drive to the local café and grab their lunch. Merida tells her the ideas she has and Tiffany thinks they are perfect. They have a hard time finding some of them but they finally find the ideas Merida is looking for. It is after 4 when they arrive back at Merida's house.

            "Thanks Tiff."

             "Your welcome. Have fun. Call me later."

            "I will."

             "I can't wait to hear about his reaction to them."

Merida smiles and gets out and grabs her bags from the trunk. She walks to her front door and waves at Tiffany as she pulls out. She opens the door. Dixie greets her at the door.

             "Hey girl! I know you're hungry. Hang on I need to put these up first."

Merida quickly heads to her room and puts the bags in her closet. She has already had them wrapped. Just as she heads back to the kitchen and is pouring food into Dixie's bowl she hears a car.

              "Oh my gosh! Dixie he's here!"

Merida looks around the room. Everything looks good, nothing out of place except for all the boxes with her Christmas decorations in them stacked in the corner. Then there is knock. Merida walks to the door and opens it to find Chris wearing a white t-shirt and jeans.

           "Chris!" She says throwing her arms around him.

           "Hey beautiful."

Merida stands back so Chris can enter.

        "Are you hungry?"

        "Yes."

        "I can fix something if you want. I'm sure your tired after that long drive."

        "Yes sounds good babe. I will just go put my bag up. Same room right?"

        "Yes, unless you want to put it in my room." She smiles.

        "I think it would be better if I stay in the other room babe. I don't want to make it a habit of sleeping together, not yet." He smiles.

        "Alright."

Chris leaves the room and Merida looks through the cabinets to see what she can fix.  She is cooking Salomon when Chris walks into the room.

        "What are you fixing babe?" he asks walking up to her and wrapping his arms around her.

        "Salmon. Hope I fix it right. I've never cooked it before."

         "It smells good."

         "I hope it is. I am going to try and make Atlantic salmon salad."

          "Oh really? That's my favorite."

          "I know," Merida smiles and turns and kisses him.

           "How did you know that?"

           "Scott told me." She smiles again.

           "Really when?"

            "At thanksgiving."

            "When were you talking to Scott about me?"

           "You were outside I think and we got to talking about favorite foods and I think I mentioned I didn't know what your favorite food was and he said that and pizza."

          "That is true. Well what is your favorite? I know you like Italian."

          "Lasagna."

          "Okay I will remember that. I don't eat a lot of pasta, but I will every once in a while."

After they eat dinner they sit on the couch.

          "So what is the plan for Christmas?" Merida asks.

           "Well you said you wanted to spend Christmas Eve with your dad right?"

           "Yes."

           "What time will that be?"

           "Well we normally eat dinner together, but if we need to we can make it lunch we can I'm sure. I can check with him."

            "Okay, we have two options, we can leave after on Christmas Eve or get up early Christmas morning and head to Boston."

             "If we left on Christmas Eve wouldn't that be a lot for you? You would be tired."

              "I don't mind. You tell me which you would rather do."

              "I don't care. I'm sure you would love to be with your family on Christmas, maybe even Christmas morning."

              "Yes, Christmas morning is always a big deal at my house."

             "Then I will talk to my dad and work it out. We will make it work."

Chris leans forward and kisses her. "I love you babe."

             "I love you too. Let me call my dad really quick."

Merida picks up her phone and calls her dad. They talk for several minutes before they hang up.

           "He said we could have an early lunch like around 11. That work? We could leave around 12?"

            "Sounds perfect babe."

The next day Chris and Merida go and pick out a tree together and they come back and decorate it. They spend the next few days watching Christmas movies and playing board games. Then on Christmas Eve morning Chris wakes up looks at his phone and sees its 7:30 am. He gets up and throws on a shirt and some sweatpants and walks out into the hall. He peeks into Merida's room and sees she is still asleep. He quietly heads back to his room and grabs one of the presents he has wrapped and walks into Merida's room. He leans down and kisses her.

       "Mm mm." she groans and opens her eyes. "Chris."

       "Morning beautiful. Merry Christmas Eve."

Merida smiles and sits up. Chris sits down next to her.

       "I have something for you." He holds out the present.

        "You're giving this to me now?"

       "Yes, you will see why when you open it. I would have given it to you a few days ago but I decided to wait till today."

Merida tears open the paper.

"Oh Chris! It's beautiful! I love it thank you."

     "You're welcome. Why don't we go find a spot for it on the tree?"

    "Hang on. I need to give you one of your gifts."

Merida crawls out of the bed and goes to her closet and grabs one of the gifts and heads back to the bed.

     "I think this is the right one." She says holding out the wrapped box.

Chris opens the gift. "Oh Mer, babe. I love it! I can't wait to hang it on my tree at home."

"I'm glad you like it. I was worried it was....to girly. But I thought it was fitting since we have the tattoos."

       "No babe. I love it. Thank you." Chris says leaning forward and kissing her.

They head into the living room and hang Merida's ornament on the tree.

      "Looks good babe. How about some breakfast."

      "Sure. Pancakes?"

     "Of course. I'll even make Mickey one's for you." He says kissing her.

They eat breakfast, clean up and then both get ready. Merida packs her bag for Boston and by the time she is done it is time to head to her dads. Chris helps her with her bags. She carries the bag of presents. They arrive at her dads 15 minutes later.

     "Hey princess! Hey Chris. Come on in."

They walk in and everything is decorated. Merida has not seen her dad decorate like this in years.

    "Oh daddy! I love the house. And the tree! Wow."

    "Thanks. I felt like decorating more this year. I know how much you love Christmas and I remember you telling me Chris liked it too so I thought I would go all out. Your mother loved Christmas too and I haven't decorated like she did in years."

      "Well, I love it. Oh my gosh! Daddy, you even put out stockings!"

      "Of course. And since you won't be here tomorrow. I thought we could do that." He smiles.

      "Oh daddy!"

      "Of course. I even have one for Chris. It isn't much but..."

"That's nice of you Shawn you didn't have to."

    "Why don't we eat then we can do that. I know you will need to get on the road soon."

They sit down to the already set table. Her dad has done a simple meal. After they eat, they clean up then sit on the couch. Merida's dad hands her a stocking and hands Chris his.

      "Thanks."

Then he gets two presents from under the tree and hands one to Chris and one to Merida.

    Chris opens his gift to find and ornament with a picture of him and Merida that says true love.

            "Thanks Shawn, I love it."

            "You're welcome. I knew how much you loved Christmas and you and Merida are perfect for each other. I am so glad she met you."

Chris smiles. He looks over at Merida who is smiling. "What did you get babe?"

Merida opens hers to find the latest Nicholas Sparks book. "Thanks daddy. I've been dying to read this."

     "I wish I could have gotten it signed for you, but he was never close enough that I was able to go."

    "It's okay. Thanks." She says getting up and walking to the chair he is in and hugs him. She then grabs the gifts she had put under the tree. She hands one to her dad and then sits back on the couch and hands the other to Chris.

     "Thanks babe."

     "Open it."

Chris tore the paper.

"Babe! Holy cow! How did you....?"

"Tiffany and I found it and I had to get it for you."

"Well thanks babe. I love it." He says leaning forward and kissing her. He then reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small, wrapped box and hands it to Merida. Merida tears the paper.

   "Oh Chris! It's beautiful!"

"Want me to put it on you?"

"Yes please."

Merida turns so her back is to Chris and she lifts her hair and he puts the necklace on her.

She looks down at it and smiles. "Thanks Chris." She says learning towards him and kissing him.

"Welcome babe."

Merida looks at her father. "Thanks Daddy, for everything."

"Your welcome Princess."

"We probably should get going." Chris says standing up.

"You guys be careful."

"We will."

"Call me when you get their okay princess?"

"I will daddy." She hugs him. "I love you."

"Love you too princess."

Chris holds out his hand to shake Shawn's hand. He shakes it then pulls him into a hug.

"Thanks, Chris, for looking after my girl."

"You're welcome. She's amazing."

Shawn pats Chris's back.

Chris and Merida grab their stuff and pack up the car and head out. Merida waves to her dad as they pull out of the driveway.

Its 12:30 pm when they pull out of the drive. They have driven for about three hours when Chris looks over at Merida.

"Babe?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you good? Do you need to stop or anything?"

"Yes, I do actually."

"Okay there is a rest area up ahead."

Chris pulls into the rest area, and they stop for a few minutes and then are back on the road again. Finally, at 10:35 pm Chris pulls into the drive of his parents' house.

            "Are your parents asleep?"

            "Probably, so we need to be quiet."

Chris helps Merida with the bags, and they quietly head inside. Chris has a key and opens the door. They quietly head up the stairs and into Chris's room.

            Merida sets her bag down. Chris walks towards her and wraps his arms around her.

            "I love you babe."

            "I love you too. We sleeping together or are you going to take the floor?"

            Chris smiles. "I know you don't want me on the floor."

            "No, I don't." Merida says putting her forehead to his.

            "Then yes we can but..."

            "But?"

            "Never mind. You go ahead and get ready for bed." He says kissing her. As she starts walking away Chris smacks her butt.

            "Chris!"

Chris laughs. "Sorry babe, couldn't resist."

Merida grabs her clothes and heads to the bathroom. They both get ready for bed and then climb in and curl up together. Before they both fall asleep, Chris kisses her head and tells her sweet dreams and he loves her.

The next morning, they are awoken by Stella who comes into Chris's room and jumps on the bed.

            "Uncle Chris! Wake up! Santa Came!"

            "Well good morning, Stella. We will be down in a minute."

            "Okay Uncle Chris."

Stella runs from the room. Chris looks over at Merida who is waking up.

            "Morning babe. I'm sorry about that."

            "It's okay. She's excited. I understand. Let me just change clothes and put my contacts in and I will be ready." Merida gets ready to get up, but Chris grabs her hand.

            "You don't have to change. We always go down in our pjs. Your cute and you don't have to wear your contacts if you don't want to."

            "But I can't see without them, and I hate wearing my glasses. I look like a geek in them,"

            "Aww I'm sure you don't. I've actually never seen you in glasses. I'm sure your cute."

Merida smiles. "Of course, you would say that."

            "I mean it. Let me see and I will tell you."

Merida climbs out of bed and goes to her toiletries bag in the bathroom and grabs her glasses from the case. She puts them on and then heads back to the bed and sits down on her knees in front of Chris.

            "Your adorable! You are not a geek. I love you in glasses." He says reaching up putting a piece of her hair behind her ear and then leaning forward and kissing her.

            "I love you beautiful."

            "Aww Chris. I love you too. Really? You like them?"

            "Yes, I do. Come on let's go."

Merida climbs out of the bed. Chris grabs a grey shirt from his bag and throws it on and then takes her hand and they head downstairs.

            "There they are!" Scott says.

            "Sorry guys."

              "It's okay. When did you guys get in? Didn't hear you come in? But Stella was the first to see your car this morning so she knew you were here." His mom Lisa said.

            "We got here around 10:30."

            "Oh, no wonder you're just getting up. Well, we can eat first or open gifts first." Lisa says.

            "Presents!" Stella says.

Chris smiles. "We can eat later."

They head into the living room and find a seat.

            "Oh I need to go get the presents. I left them in the room." Chris says.

            "Can you grab mine too?" Merida asks.

            "Sure babe."

Chris leaves but is back a few minutes later with two bags. Chris and Merida pass out their gifts. Merida gets gift cards from Lisa and Scott. Then she opens Chris's present.

            "Oh Chris!"

   "You like them?"

            "I love them thank you." She says leaning towards him and kissing him.

            "Here is yours." She says handing him a gift bag.

Chris laughs and smiles. "Oh wow! Babe!"

He pulls out

Chris laughs. "He's cute. Thanks."

            "There is something else in the bag."

Chris looks into the bag and then pulls out,

  "Thanks babe. I love it. I will definitely hang this on my tree at home." He says leaning forward and kissing her.

            They spend the day with his family and then that night while they are lying in bed Chris asks Merida, "Babe, would you like to go to my house tomorrow for a few days before we head back to NC?"

            "Sure. How long would we stay?"

            "A few days. Would you want to be in Boston on New Year's, or would you rather be in NC?"

            "It doesn't matter, whatever you want to do."

            "How about we stay here till the 2nd we can head back to NC then and I will stay through Sunday or Monday. I will start filming soon."

            "How long will you be filming?"

            "Through about March then I have interviews and conferences. So, I will be busy till July."

            "So, I won't see you again till July?"

            "Probably not. Sorry babe."

             "It's okay. I know your busy."

            "But I will definitely FaceTime you and we will message each other."

            "I know, but it's not the same. I will miss you." She says laying her head on his chest.

            "I know babe. I will miss you too." He says kissing her head.

              The next day they eat breakfast with his family then leave and head to his house which is about an hour away. They spend the next few days relaxing at his house with Dodger and taking walks. They also watch some TV. On New Year's they spend the evening in with only Dodger. On the 2nd they head back to NC. They leave out that morning and arrive back in NC that night. Chris stays till Monday morning. On Monday morning they say goodbye as Merida is heading to work. He says he will call her that evening when he gets back home.

Taglist:

@cevansbaby-dove

@sarahrogersevans

@hollybee8917

@willowsages-blog

@nescavaneck

@nicoline1998enilocin

@eva-knits12

@angelbabyyy99

@lizette50

@tess-love

@krissy25

@bookishtheaterlover7

[cheynovak]

Forged - Part five 

Summary: Calista is a young woman who lives with her uncle and nephew since her parents died, one day 'the God king's' guards under the leadership of a knight come to town. Looking for young women to present to the crown prince Cyrus (Luke Evans) , who is in search of a wife before he can claim the throne. Calista meets the handsome Knight Ezra (Jensen Ackles) who doesn't seem to be who she thinks he is. Will she fall for the dark intriguing prince, or will she fall for the guidance and warmth of Ezra?  

Warnings: 18+ Smut, orgasms, cheating, hurt   

English is not my first language  

Words:  6900  

Part 5 out of 6 I'm sorry I want to put so much into it, that it is getting to long for one shot.  

*This story is my own original story, please do not copy my work, reblog/comments/likes are appreciated* 

--  

The three of us stayed together that night.  

Cyrus had changed clothes and washed up before he switched places with Ezra, who now sat on the chair a crossed the room. I caught his glance when I lay in Cyrus his arms, a whirl of emotions showing, pain and sadness but also relieved and caring, maybe a hint of jealousy?  

I was too tired too ill to decipher it. Their protective presence a comfort amidst the turmoil made me feel at ease, knowing I'd be save. As I drifted back into sleep, I knew what soon would follow.   

Marriage. 

-- 

I woke up first, feeling a lot better. Vaguely, I remembered waking up in the middle of the night and seeing Ezra still awake, his green eyes bright in the dark as he watched me sleep. Still, he looked exhausted.  

I patted the bed beside me, offering him a place to sleep. He hesitated, looked over at his brother on my other side, but eventually crawled into bed next to me. Since I was still clinging to Cyrus on one side of the huge king-size bed, there was enough space for the three of us.  

I turned toward Ezra, my hand finding its way to tangle with his. Cyrus shifted too, his arms still tight around my waist but his face now in my neck. I looked at Ezra, mouthing "thank you." He kissed my hand placed it on his chest. The difference between Ezra’s warmth and Cyrus his coolness has never been so obvious until now when I held them both.  

He stayed on his back, his head turned, looking at me before he closed his eyes, a silent acknowledgment of the bond we shared.  

Their presence gave me a sense of security. We still lay in the same position this morning. I stared at Ezra, seeing his beauty and how the first sunlight captured it, noticing the freckles on his nose and cheeks. I didn't notice Cyrus waking up until he kissed my neck near my ear, whispering, "I never thought having two men in your bed was you kink. Naughty girl." I slightly turned to look at him. "I couldn't let him sleep on the chair, could I?"  

Cyrus hummed, his breath fresh against my skin. "He cares for you." I didn't answer, unsure of what he truly meant by that. Instead, I simply let go of Ezra's hand, feeling the complexity of my emotions swirl within me. Here, in this fragile moment of peace, I realized how much I depended on both of them. Cyrus gently kissed my neck again, his hand caressing my stomach. "It's still early, try to get some sleep." he whispered, and I closed my eyes for a few more hours of sleep.  

That day, I spent time with my uncle and Micah, who seemed like he had grown so much. Both were glad Cyrus took care of 'the problem' and kept me alive and safe. They shared stories and tried to lighten my mood, but the looming wedding date kept my thoughts occupied.

The council had set the date, firmly insisting that no king could be crowned without a queen. A week from now, I would be married to Cyrus, after that he would be crowned and I would be his Queen. The weight of it all made me feel nervous and uncertain. I couldn’t help but think about the whirlwind of events leading up to this moment, and how tangled my emotions had become.  

Micah noticed my unease and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. "You'll be alright," he said softly. "You’re strong." I managed a small smile, grateful for his reassurance, I couldn’t believe how much he has grown, he talked like a little adult. I was proud of him, seeing and hearing he did well in school.  

As the day went on, the preparations for the wedding became more apparent. The castle buzzed with activity, servants hurrying about with decorations and gowns, I need to choose patterns and colours and dishes...  I found a quiet moment in the gardens, needing a break from the chaos. I closed my eyes, trying to calm my racing thoughts.

The sound of footsteps made me open my eyes, and I saw Ezra approaching. "How are you holding up?" he asked, concern evident in his eyes. "I'm... managing," I replied. Ezra nodded, standing beside me.  

I looked up at Ezra, my voice trembling with sincerity. "I'm sorry for everything I said about Sara and you. If you wish, you can invite her to the wedding, be your plus one." Ezra smiled gently, shaking his head. "You were right that night. I told her the truth, I don't love her, I don’t even like her.”  

A sense of relief washed over me, and I hugged him tightly. He kissed the top of my head, his breath warm against my hair. "You asked me for the truth too," he said softly. I pulled back slightly, looking into his emerald eyes as he took a deep breath. "I’ve been selfish, I wanted you here, I’ve helped you because I'd rather see you in my brother's arms than not having you in my life at all." 

I felt a mix of gratitude and sadness, understanding the depth of his feelings and the sacrifices he was willing to make. "I... I don't know what to say," I whispered, my heart aching with the complexity of our situation. Ezra smiled sadly. "Just promise me you'll be happy, no matter what. That you go for whatever you need. Set your goals on something. Live your life." Tears welled up in my eyes as I nodded. "I promise."  

Marie’s sudden appearance and her cheeky smile piqued my curiosity. I followed her to my room, where she began unboxing several spicy and sexy lingerie sets. The sight of them made me blush, nervousness coursing through me. Marie said nothing, just watching my reaction with a knowing grin.  

The lingerie sets were all different colours, each one more enticing than the last. She finally spoke, her voice teasing, "Pick one for your wedding night, the one you know Cyrus would love on you." I looked at the delicate pieces of fabric, my mind racing. This choice wasn’t just about what Cyrus would love; it was also about how I wanted to feel on that night.  

I carefully picked up a set, deep emerald green with gold accents, I don’t know why... No that was a lie, I saw it and immediately thought of Ezra. It was elegant yet seductive, Marie’s grin widened. "Good choice. " Before she started to clean them up, I held up a hand. "Hold on," I said, picking up another two sets: one white and one red. Marie chuckled, her eyes twinkling with mischief.  

"You’re preparing for all occasions, I see," she teased. "With these, there will soon be an heir." I blushed at her implication but couldn't help but smile. "Maybe so," I replied, thinking of the expectations that came with my impending marriage. The thought of an heir, it was an inevitable part of our future.  

That night, as I lay in bed, the anticipation of the upcoming wedding kept my mind racing. Eventually, exhaustion took over, and I drifted into a restless sleep. In my dream, the grand hall was decorated for the wedding. Flowers and candles lined the aisle, casting a warm glow. I walked down the aisle, my heart pounding, the white dress flowing around me like a cloud.  

Cyrus stood at the altar, looking regal and composed. As I approached him, he turned to face me. His eyes, glowing an eerie purple, sent a chill down my spine. His hands and face were covered in blood, a stark contrast to his pristine attire. Horror seized me as I looked down at my white dress, now soaked in blood.  

Panic surged through me, and I turned to look at the guests. The sight was unbearable, everyone lay dead, their faces frozen in terror. Among them was Ezra, his lifeless eyes staring blankly. I screamed, my voice echoing through the silent hall, but no sound came out. The dream was suffocating, and I felt trapped in a nightmare from which I couldn't escape. I turned back to Cyrus, his blood-stained hands reaching out for me, his smile twisted and sinister. 

With a start, I woke up, drenched in sweat, my heart racing. The image of the blood-soaked dress and the dead bodies lingered in my mind. I looked at my arms and legs, nothing there... It was just a dream I told myself. Yet I couldn't shake the feeling of dread that had settled deep within me. The wedding was only a few hours away. And all I could think of was: I’m making the worst mistake of my life.  

-- 

Without thinking, I ran towards Ezra's room, still in my nightgown. Hysterical, I knocked on the door. After a moment, he opened it, looking confused and concerned. 

I burst into tears, rambling on about the nightmare. “There was so much blood, dead guests... A-a-and Cyrus... he was killing everyone.” Ezra gently took my hands, his voice soothing. “Calista, it’s okay. It was just a dream. You’re safe. Cyrus would never harm you.” 

But I couldn't calm down. The images from the nightmare still vivid in my mind. Ezra pulled me into his room, closing the door behind us. He guided me to a chair and knelt in front of me, holding my trembling hands. 

“Look at me,” he said softly, his green eyes steady and reassuring. “Breathe with me, in and out.” I tried to match his breathing, the warmth of his hands grounding me. “It was so real,” I whispered, still shaking. 

“I know,” he said, brushing a strand of hair from my face. “But it was just a dream. I promise you, nothing like that will happen.” His calm presence began to ease the terror that gripped me. Gradually, my breathing slowed, and I leaned into his touch. "It's the second dream I've had of Cyrus killing," I confessed, my voice barely above a whisper. 

Ezra's expression softened, his eyes filled with concern. "It's just nerves," he reassured me, though his words couldn't fully dispel the fear that lingered. I looked into his eyes, the vision of his dead gaze from my dream haunting me. "You were dead," I murmured, my hand reaching up to scratch his beard, seeking comfort in the familiarity of his touch. He smiled gently, "I'm here, Calista.”  

"Don't ever leave me," I begged, my voice trembling with desperation. I wasn't just talking about the nightmare; I needed him. Understanding the depth of my plea, he wrapped his arms around me, holding me tightly. "I won't," he whispered into my hair. "I promise."  

I kissed his neck in reflex and Ezra held me closer, his embrace tightening around me. "Calista," he whispered, his voice filled with a mixture of longing and restraint. "We can't..." 

I pulled back slightly, just enough to look into his eyes. "I know," I said softly, my fingers still tracing gentle patterns on his shoulder, “I wasn’t trying anything. But I need you, Ezra.”  

After my nerves cooled down, I went back to my room, preparing for my big day. 

-- 

The grand hall was filled with the soft murmur of the guests as they admired the decorations and awaited the ceremony. My heart raced as Marie and a few others helped me get ready. My hair and makeup were perfect, and the dress fit like a glove, accentuating my curves while the deep open back added a modern touch.  

Uncle Henry stood by my side, ready to walk me down the aisle. As I took my first steps down the aisle, a sea of unfamiliar faces turned to look at me. My heart pounded louder with each step. Micah, looking proud, held the rings, his presence a comforting reminder of family amidst the strangers.  

My gaze kept shifting between Cyrus and Ezra, both standing tall in their suits. Cyrus looked every bit the regal prince, but the memory of my nightmare made my stomach churn. His eyes, usually calm and calculating, seemed more intense today, filled with a mix of emotions I couldn't decipher.  

Ezra, standing beside his brother, wore a supportive yet solemn expression, almost sad. His presence was a source of comfort and anxiety all at once. The nightmare's lingering grip on my mind made it hard to focus on the reality of the moment. As I reached the altar, I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself.  

Uncle Henry gave my hand a reassuring squeeze before stepping back. I turned to face Cyrus, my eyes meeting his. For a brief moment, the world seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of us, but not in the good way, there was something off. The officiant began the ceremony, his words a distant hum as I tried to push the nightmare from my mind. Cyrus's hand reached for mine, his touch grounding me. Reminding me the commitment we were about to make.  

"Do you, Cyrus, prince of gods, take Calista to be your lawfully wedded wife?" the officiant's voice broke through my thoughts. "I do," Cyrus replied, his voice steady and strong. "And do you, Calista, take Cyrus prince of gods, to be your lawfully wedded husband?" the officiant turned to me. 

As I said, "I do," I couldn't help but glance at Ezra. In that brief moment, I saw that flicker of hurt and sadness in his eyes again, a look that vanished as quickly as it appeared. The weight of the rings, the spoken vows, and the reality of what was happening pressed heavily on me. "You may now kiss the bride," the officiant declared.  

Cyrus leaned in, I cast one last look at Ezra, but he had already turned away, his face looked more like a mask hiding his emotions, but I saw the pain beneath it, his lips meeting mine. The kiss was firm, possessive, a reminder of the pact we had made. The hall erupted in applause, but the sound felt distant, almost muted, as my mind struggled to reconcile the emotions churning within me. 

As we turned to face the guests, hands clasped, the cheers and smiles of the crowd felt almost surreal. I forced a smile, trying to appear as the radiant bride they expected me to be. Cyrus's grip on my hand tightened slightly, a silent reminder of the unity we had to display.  

As we walked back down the aisle, the feeling of Ezra's gaze lingered, the nightmare, the poisoning, and the strained relationships weighed heavily on my mind. The festivities from the party seemed to blend into a haze as the evening progressed. The lights, the laughter, and the music all merged into a single, overwhelming experience.  

I danced briefly with Cyrus then uncle Henry and Micah, who was delighted with the cake and the attention. His joy was a brief but comforting distraction from the weight of the day's events. The last of the guests departed and the party wound down, a quiet settled over the castle.  

I found myself walking in the hallway, the sound of my footsteps echoing softly against the stone walls together with Cyrus his steps following me. I headed towards Cyrus's room, my heart pounding with a mix of anticipation and dread. I finally reached the door, I heard it click shut behind me. The sound made the bubble I was in for the night burst, bringing me back to the present. 

The room was dimly lit, casting long shadows that danced with the flickering light of candles. Cyrus stood behind me, I felt his hands move my hair to one shoulder. “You seemed tense tonight?” He tried to lighten up. “It’s just, it has been a lot the last few days”  

Cyrus kissed my neck. “Let me take care of you.” Cyrus’s touch was both gentle and assertive as he worked the zipper of my dress. His kisses along my neck were cold and electrifying, sending shivers down my spine. I tried to focus on the sensations, letting them guide me away from my racing thoughts.  

The fabric of my dress fell, pooling at my feet, and I felt exposed yet strangely liberated. Cyrus's hands roamed my bare skin, his touch a blend of reverence and desire. “So beautiful.” I turned slowly to face him, his eyes filled with a hunger that mirrored my own uncertainty and anticipation.  

His fingers traced the contours of my body, his gaze never leaving mine. He guided me to bed, taking off his clothes, I waited, covered by sheets, until he hovered over me. His lips and hands finding the spots my body liked, as I felt his desire press against my warm core, he moaned against my skin.  

When I felt his hands move down my legs I tensed. “Relax” he whispered, “We’ve done this part before.” We did, he did... and although it felt like magic back then, it didn’t now. But somehow my body knew how to react. I tried not to think about it, maybe I would be able to get back into the bubble, unfortunately it didn't happen.

As he guided me into a more 'comfortable' position, I tried to relax, but feeling how he lined himself up and slowly entered me, I tensed again. "So fucking tight." He murmured, Cyrus's touch, was still cold, was deliberate and focused, but allowing myself to adjust to his size.  

His hands continued to explore, finding the sensitive spots that elicited responses from my body. Despite the initial discomfort, I concentrated on the growing sensations, focusing on the rhythm of his hips and intimacy of the moment. Cyrus's murmurs of encouragement and his attempts to soothe me with his touch helped ease the tension just a little.  

I tried to push aside the lingering doubts and fears, allowing myself to be absorbed in the experience, forgetting the nightmares. As I closed my eyes, trying to focus on the sensations, Ezra’s touch came to mind. I imagined his hands and the way he had made me feel before. The contrast between his presence and Cyrus's became more pronounced. I couldn’t help but moan softly, the thought of Ezra blending with the reality of the moment.  

Cyrus, feeling my response, shifted slightly, his touch becoming more insistent. He murmured something, but my focus remained split between the reality of the touch and the vivid memory of Ezra. Cyrus had no idea, his touch becoming more bolder, more aggressive, but I felt my body change, stronger, colder, harder, I felt a sensation building. Cyrus felt it too.  

Telling me to let go, to come for him... I did, as I imagined how Ezra would feel in this moment. A shock wave crashed over me, my eyes opened just then. Cyrus joined right after. Looking at me he smiled. “So beautiful...” I turned my head when he got off me. That was the moment I saw my reflection in the dark window, the bright purple in my eyes was startling.  

I turned towards the window, Cyrus caught a glimpse of my expression. He reached out to gently touch my shoulder, his voice low and reassuring. As he looked over my shoulder to the window. I saw two pairs of purple eyes. "Extraordinary," he said. My mind struggled to process what was happening, trying to understand the implications of this newfound power and the transformation I was undergoing.  

The morning after the wedding, I woke up in Cyrus's bed, the events of the night before a hazy blur in my mind. I took a moment to really take in the room around me. The heavy drapes blocked out most of the sunlight, casting the room in a dim, almost eerie glow. The decor was minimalistic, with dark wooden furniture and sparse decorations, reflecting Cyrus's reserved and guarded nature. 

I sat up slowly, the silk sheets rustling around me. My head felt heavy, and I rubbed my temples, trying to shake off the remnants of sleep. The room was silent, save for the faint sounds of the palace waking up outside. I looked around, noticing the few personal touches—an ornate sword mounted on the wall, a few books on a shelf, and a small, framed portrait of his family. 

A soft knock at the door pulled me from my thoughts. "Come in," I called out, my voice still hoarse from sleep. 

Marie entered, her expression a mix of concern and curiosity. "Good morning, my lady. How are you feeling?" 

I offered her a small smile. "Good morning, Marie." I thought about her question, realizing that most women felt pain or soreness after their wedding night, but not I. It felt like nothing had happened the night before. "I'm... fine, just a bit tired." 

She nodded, approaching the bed with a tray of breakfast. "I thought you might need something to eat. The prince has already left for his morning duties, but he asked me to make sure you're well taken care of." 

I accepted the tray, my stomach rumbling at the sight of the food. "Thank you, Marie. I appreciate it." 

As I nibbled on the food, Marie began to tidy up the room, her movements quick and efficient. "The ceremony was beautiful," she said softly. I smiled with my lips closed, as a thank you, since my mouth was stuffed. Marie glanced at me and said, "You look stunning." 

I was confused. I had just gotten out of bed. She turned the mirror in the room toward me. My hair was a deeper shade of brown, not as black as Cyrus's, but clearly darkened. My skin had a tint lighter than usual. I stood up and moved closer to the mirror, noticing soft purple elements sparkling in my deep brown eyes. My body had changed overnight. 

"What... what happened to me?" I whispered, my voice shaky. 

Marie watched me with a mixture of awe and concern. "It seems the transformation has begun" she said softly. "Divine, you are becoming immortal.” I reached up to touch my hair, my fingers trembling. "I had no idea it would be so drastic," I murmured, trying to process the changes. 

"The Divine bloodline's power is manifesting within you," Marie explained. "It's a sign of your connection to Cyrus and the responsibilities that come with it." 

I turned to face her, my mind racing with questions. "Will this continue? Will I keep changing?" Marie nodded slowly. "Yes, my lady. As you bond further with Cyrus, the transformation will deepen.” I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. "Thank you for telling me, Marie. I need some time to absorb all of this." 

She bowed her head slightly. "Of course, my lady. If you need anything, I'll be just outside." As she left the room, I returned to the mirror, staring at my reflection. The changes were undeniable, but so was the reality of my new life. 

-- 

Weeks passed, and the council agreed to the coronation of Cyrus. I witnessed it at his side, feeling a mix of pride and apprehension.He had been distant these few days, and I didnt mind. The first nights I said I still felt sore, so he wouldn't touch me like he did on the wedding night.

Last few nights I pretended to stay out late in the library and pretended to be in bed too late, I didnt wantes to wake him, so I slept in my bed. He said he didn't liked it but accepted it so far.

The night ended with a grand celebration, and the palace was filled with laughter and music. During the night, I lost track of Cyrus and decided to follow him to give him my gift—a small golden ring designed to match his wedding ring. 

As I searched, I noticed him slipping away with Sara, my suspicion grew, and I quietly followed them, trying to stay hidden in the shadows. I reached a closed door and pressed my ear against it, straining to hear their conversation. 

Sara's voice was soft but clear. "I've noticed her changes, Cyrus. Is it really necessary for you to sleep with her?" My heart pounded in my chest as I heard Cyrus's reply. "My love, it would be suspicious if I didn't. We have to maintain appearances." 

As I stood by the door, I couldn't help but peek through a small crack. My heart sank as I saw Sara sitting on Cyrus's lap, their intimacy evident. Straining to hear more, I caught fragments of their conversation. 

"You have to be patient," Cyrus said softly, his tone soothing. "Soon, she'll be out of the way." Sara's voice was laced with frustration. "My poison won't work on her anymore now that you've given her the divine." 

Cyrus laughed, a sound that sent chills down my spine. "You're beautiful when you're jealous," he said, before leaning in to kiss her, deep, passionate and raw.

I couldn't stifle the small gasp that escaped my lips, and his eyes flicked toward the door, suspicion darkening his gaze. I quickly covered my mouth, holding my breath and hoping he wouldn't investigate further. 

After a tense moment, Cyrus seemed to dismiss the noise, turning his attention back to Sara. I took the opportunity to slip away as quietly as I could, my heart racing with a mix of fear and betrayal. They were more than just friends. I stepped back, trying to process the betrayal. My mind raced with questions and doubts.  

I clenched the ring in my hand, feeling a wave of anger and hurt wash over me. I couldn't bring myself to return to the celebration or to Cyrus's room. Once in my own chambers, I sat on the edge of my bed, staring at my wedding ring. A wave of sadness and anger washed over me. I had pushed Ezra away for what? Betrayal and deceit. 

As I was changing clothes I noticed the red lingerie, meant to symbolize a night of intimacy and trust, now felt like a cruel joke. Determined, I grabbed my robe and left. As I walked through the dimly lit corridors, I found myself at Ezra's door. I hesitated, my hand hovering over the wood. Should I knock? Taking a deep breath, I knocked softly but received no answer. He was probably still at the party. 

I tried the handle and found the door unlocked. Slowly, I pushed it open and stepped inside. The room was empty, clean, and filled with light from the moon filtering through the large window. It had a serene quality, a stark contrast to the turmoil churning inside me. 

I walked further into the room, taking in the details. A book lay open on the bedside table, a small sign of Ezra's presence. I placed the red lingerie on the bed and sat down, my mind racing with thoughts of betrayal and deception. I walked to his bathroom, taking in the sight of the marble bath that looked over the garden filled with golden lights.  

The soft glow from the lanterns outside bathed the room in a warm, ethereal light, creating a serene and almost magical atmosphere. The tension and exhaustion of the night began to melt away as I stared at the inviting bath. 

-- 

Back at the party, Cyrus was mingling with the guests, his smile perfectly masking the turmoil within him. He scanned the crowd for any sign of me, growing more concerned with each passing minute. Finally, he approached Ezra, who had been quietly observing from the edge of the room. 

"Have you seen Calista?" Cyrus asked, trying to keep his voice casual. "Nobody has seen her for a while." Ezra shook his head, a flicker of concern crossing his face. "No, I haven't. I'll go look for her." Cyrus nodded, forcing a smile. "Thanks, brother." 

Ezra left the party, his mind racing as he searched the palace. He checked the gardens, the library, even the small alcoves where I might have sought solitude. But I was nowhere to be found. As he walked through the dimly lit corridors, he suddenly realized there was one place he hadn't checked: his own room. 

Heart pounding, he made his way there, pushing the door open to find the room empty. His eyes quickly scanned the area, his eyes fell om the bright red lingerie and then he noticed the soft glow of light coming from the bathroom. Approaching cautiously, he gently knocked on the doorframe before stepping inside. 

-- 

The sight that greeted him took his breath away. I was soaking in the marble bath, surrounded by the golden light from the garden lanterns, and petals from red roses covering my body. My eyes didn't look away from the garden as I heard him enter. My dark hair was up and out of the water, my fingers caressing the side of the bath in the exact same red as the roses. I heard Ezra closing in, the sound of his footsteps almost inaudible on the marble floor. 

"Calista," he said softly, his voice filled with concern. "Why did you leave without saying anything? We were worried." 

I didn't answer, instead, I spoke in a detached tone. "I had no idea your bathroom had such an amazing view. Almost too good to be true... like everything in this palace." He knelt down beside the bath, his worry palpable. "What's wrong?" he asked, almost afraid of the answer. 

I continued to stare out at the garden, my voice cold and distant. "Nothing is wrong, Ezra. Everything is just... perfect." He reached out, his fingers lightly touching my arm. "Calista, talk to me. Please."  

After a moment of silence he got up, looking down at me with worry in his eyes. “Let me get Cyrus for you.” My head snapped towards him, my eyes blazing, I noticed a hint of purple flash through the room. "Don't you dare get him," I hissed, my voice low but filled with a desperate intensity. 

Ezra froze, his hand lingering in midair. "What happened?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. I still didn't answer. Instead, I stood up, water and rose petals cascading down my body. Ezra tried to look away, to only meet my eyes, but he couldn't resist stealing short glances. I walked up to him, my hand caressing his shoulders. 

"Calista," he said, his voice strained. "What are you doing?" 

"Taking what, no, who I want most," I replied before leaning in and kissing him. Cyrus his Divine not only gave me a little his strength and immortality, but also a piece of his confidence and cunning.

Ezra's initial hesitation melted away as he responded, his arms wrapping around me, pulling me closer, feeling my skin. The kiss was intense, filled with a mix of desperation and longing. I felt ten times better, hotter than when I was still human. I moaned softly, the sound escaping my lips before I could stop it.  

He pulled back slightly, his breath ragged. "Calista, are you sure about this?" 

“Yes.” I looked into his eyes, my resolve unwavering. "I need this. You." Our lips met again, and this time there was no hesitation, no holding back. Ezra's hands roamed over my body, his touch igniting a fire within me. 

Ezra's hands found the small of my back, pulling me even closer, as if he couldn't bear to let go. His lips trailed from my mouth down to my neck, sending hot shivers down my spine. I felt the need to be as close to him as possible, to feel every inch of his skin against mine. 

Time seemed to stand still, and nothing else mattered but this moment. Ezra guided me to his bed, the room still bathed in the golden light from the garden. I was consumed by an intense urgency, my hands and nails working to rid him of his clothing as quickly as possible. 

His skin felt warm and inviting beneath my touch, and he responded with a fervent energy that matched my own. My fingers dug into his skin, leaving trails of desire and need. I bit his lip, a mix of passion and frustration fueling my actions. He groaned softly, his hands gripping my hips as I maneuvered us. 

With a deliberate move, I turned him around, pushing him down onto the bed with a mix of tenderness and assertiveness. I positioned myself on his lap, straddling him, feeling the heat of his body against mine. The sensation was electrifying, a perfect blend of dominance and vulnerability. 

Ezra’s hands tightened around my waist, his strong arms supporting me with a mix of tenderness and need. As I arched my back, I felt a thrilling shiver, almost losing my balance but held securely by his grip. His lips traced a heated path along my neck, his kisses turning into playful nips that made me gasp with pleasure. 

I could feel his breath against my skin, each touch electrifying. His mouth moved lower, finding the curve of my breast, his kisses and nibbles igniting a fire that made me arch further into him. My nails dug into his hair, the sensation of his soft strands slipping through my fingers.  

The room was charged with an intense, almost primal energy as we allowed the passion between us to take control. Ezra's movements became more urgent and fervent, his touches and kisses a testament to the depth of our connection. 

He guided us with a forceful yet gentle dominance, turning us around with a decisive motion. As I moved further up against the pillows, I watched with a mixture of anticipation and desire as he removed the last piece of fabric, revealing himself completely. His bare form illuminated by the golden light of the room, and I felt a surge of admiration and longing. 

My lips parted as I took in the sight of him, my heart racing. When he crawled over me, his presence overwhelming yet comforting, I could no longer hold back. The need for him was overpowering, and I pulled him closer, our bodies aligning perfectly. 

He asked me again "Are you sure?”  I smiled and said “ Isn't the queens wish your command?” He pushed his hard and oh so big member inside. The initial sting and stretch were sharp, like the first time, but the intensity of the moment quickly turned that sensation into something different, something more consuming. 

Ezra's voice was a husky whisper against my ear, “Your wish is my command, my queen.”  and I felt the weight of his words as he moved within me. 

As Ezra's body moved with mine, the initial pain quickly dissolved into a tidal wave of sensations that I had never experienced before. His hands roamed over my skin with a possessive tenderness, exploring and kneading, leaving trails of warmth wherever he touched. 

His fingers traced the curves of my body with a deliberate, almost reverent touch. He cupped my breasts gently, his palms pressing against the soft flesh, while his thumbs brushed over my sensitive nipples, eliciting soft moans from my lips. Each caress was both soothing and electrifying, a mix of firm pressure and delicate strokes that made my breath hitch and my body arch in response. 

His hands slid lower, tracing the line of my hips and down to the curve of my thighs, where his touch became more insistent and urgent. He gripped my legs, pulling them closer, creating a deeper connection that made every movement between us more intense. I scratched at his back, my nails digging into his skin as the pleasure built, the friction heightening every sensation. 

With each thrust, Ezra's movements were both powerful and graceful, a perfect dance of passion that made my body quiver. His breathing became ragged, mingling with my own gasps and moans. The rhythm we created together was intoxicating, a blend of raw desire and tender exploration that made it feel like every touch, every kiss, was both a discovery and a fulfilment. 

As I turned us around, I felt the full force of his gaze on me. His hands were firmly gripping my thighs and ass, his fingers digging in as I rode him with a fervent rhythm. The sensation of his cock moving inside me, combined with the way his hands held me so securely, sent waves of pleasure through me. 

Ezra's eyes were half-closed, heavy with passion and exhaustion. His lips parted slightly, emitting deep, guttural groans that echoed my own moans of pleasure. Each movement of mine elicited a shuddering response from him, his chest rising and falling rapidly with each breath. His expression was one of sheer, unrestrained bliss, eyes locked onto mine with a look of wonder and adoration.  

Ezra's gaze, filled with a mix of awe and a sparkle of gold that mirrored the hues in his paintings, was intensely captivating. As I rode him, his head fell back in sheer pleasure, every muscle in his body tense with the overwhelming connection we shared. The sight of him, lost in the moment, his body moving with each rhythm and shudder, was both vulnerable and intoxicating. 

His groans grew more ragged, each sound a testament to the escalating intensity between us. When he grunted that he couldn’t hold on much longer, I slowed my movements, sensing his desperate need for release. Our eyes locked, and I leaned in, pressing a kiss to his lips. My voice, low and sultry, whispered in his ear, “I’m not ready to stop yet.” 

With a swift, deliberate motion, he turned us around. I found myself on my stomach, my legs closed tightly, my hips slightly up as he positioned himself behind me. The shift in position was immediate and electrifying, his presence overwhelming as he entered me again. I clung to the sheets, the fabric bunched in my fists, losing myself in the pleasure and not caring if anyone outside could hear the sounds of our passion. 

Ezra’s hands gripped the sheets tightly beside my head, his knuckles white with the effort of maintaining his hold. His breathing was ragged, each thrust hard and deep, causing the bed to creak with the force of our movements. The way his hands gripped the fabric mirrored the intensity of his thrusts, which were steady and unrelenting, each push driving us both deeper into the throes of passion. 

Every stroke, every deep thrust, seemed to bring us closer, the friction and pressure building with an almost unbearable intensity. His breath was hot against my skin, mingling with the warmth of the room, creating an atmosphere charged with overwhelming sensation. 

His body hovered over mine, the muscles in his arms and back tensed with each powerful movement, his hand slid between me and the bed, caressing the bundle of nerves between my legs. “I'm close, don't stop, please don’t stop.” I murmured in the sheets over and over. He listened, kissing my back as he pushed me over the edge, after that we switched again, He sat up back straight taking a breath.  

Ezra’s breath quickened as he watched me, his eyes intense with a mix of longing and determination. After a short breath, I straddled him again, my body trembling from the earlier climax, he helped guide my movements, his hands steady on my ass, kneading the flesh, I could see the little sparks of gold burning in his eyes, a fire that told me his release was close. 

I wanted him to feel the same sensation I had just experienced. “Come inside me.” I whispered but despite my desperate pleas for him to come, his voice was firm, holding back. "No... consequences... " he said, his tone a mix of resolve and teasing control.

I begged again, “Come inside me,” he wanted to pull me off him, but I refused, using my power my strength pushing his back against the bed. My hand pushing firm on his chest. "Calista, please stop... I- I can’t."  

I bit his lip still taking him deep, I asked again more demanding, almost an order to a soldier... a knight, my knight. “Come inside me. I need to feel you." His breath hitched and groaned “Say that again” he begged. With a grin on my face I said it again. “Fuck, Ezra... Come inside me.” His hand pinched my hip. “I-is that a command my queen?” - “Yes! Yes it is... Do it.”  

Like a good soldier, he listened, he finally let go. The room seemed to pulse with a radiant energy as our connection reached its peak. The intensity of the moment created a dazzling display of light, a symphony of purple and gold swirling around us. His eyes locked with mine, I could see the shine retract showing his emerald green eyes again.  

He looked at me, his expression a mix of wonder and satisfaction. I could see the vulnerability in his eyes, the raw emotion that mirrored my own. As I lay beside him, the cool touch of the sheets and the soft glow of the aftereffects of our passion wrapped around us. 

“What got into you?” he asked softly, his voice tinged with curiosity. 

I turned to face him, a smile playing on my lips. “I’m done being a pawn for your brother, and I don't want you to be one either.” I said, his eyes softened as he took in my words. A deep, genuine smile spread across his face, reflecting the joy and relief that matched my own. He reached out, brushing a stray lock of hair from my forehead, his touch tender and affectionate. my voice steady and filled with conviction. “It is my turn to take what I want.” I added and kissed him again  

And what I wanted, from the beginning, was Ezra.  

--

Tag list:-> I keep a different tag list for this story because it is different from the other stories I write. If you want to be added please let me know!

@jackles010378 @headinthemoon87

[rubythecrimsonwriter]

There was a point in my early college experience that my meal structure more closely resembled a Hobbit's than a human's, just by virtue of being incredibly busy and also trying to put on weight after I lost a bunch due to a surgery going mildly awry.

This was made incredibly obvious to everyone in my immediate vicinity because i set alarms to remind me to eat because my hunger receptors are basically useless to this day. Perpetually hungry for years because i was growing so fast, compounded with regimented school systems that didn't allow for snacks, plus hyperfixations that don't let me go for hours on end mean that I'm more likely to look up and have to count back the hours on when i last ate and think i should eat than i am to feel hungry.

My best friends had helped me set up the alarms and they had named the alarms appropriately, so when there was a project that resulted in my phone being in someone else's hand when the Elevenses alarm goes off, he looks at the alarm and looks at me and he knows my schedule because he's in most of my classes with me. And then he looks at his watch and the sudden realization that I had trained all of my classmates that had the same four morning classes onto MY schedule was hilarious and it went a little like this:

The alarm goes off. I'm patting down my pockets and bag for my phone because we've been playing swap with each other's phones for almost an hour. I find someone else's phone but not mine. I look up to try and find where the ringing is coming from and its in Josh's hand. Josh has seen the alarm and is staring at it. And he looks at his watch. And oh so slowly, his eyes tick over to mine.

"You're going to say its time for a snack and drag us all over to [coffee shop that sold bagels and a stupidly good chai i was obsessed with that was within easy walking distance]."

Everyone looks at Josh, because Josh doesn't really make prophecies very often. Or ever, really.

"Yes," I say.

And indeed, everyone was mostly packed and ready to go stretch their legs and get coffee and a snack before our next class at 11:45.

Josh just kind of looks at me. You know the one, where its kind of half terrified, half exasperated, with like a sprinkling of admiration like cinnamon powder? "The semester's been in session for a week and we're all already on your schedule?"

"I'm trying to regain fifteen pounds i lost in two weeks, while having 18 credit hours, while being a spotter for my sister. I start my day at 5 and you idiots dont even have a piece of fruit for breakfast, much less anything else. So yeah, when its 9 and I have second breakfast and you guys suddenly realize you're hungry? A snack and coffee to get through until when class lets out at 2? Then lunch? Rehydration and a snack at 4, also known as Tea? Dinner at 6? Our night class doesn't let out until 10, Josh. You're not half as tired as you were a week ago, and that's with three night classes and a seven am class twice a week. You really think that's because you're sleeping?"

I swear to anything you hold holy, you would have thought I'd just outlined my step by step plan for world domination that had an actual chance at working.

[liaromancewriter]

Feeling Wicked

Premise: Sienna Trinh is tired of everyone thinking she’s a goody-two-shoes and decides to change her image.

Book: Open Heart (post series) Pairing: Sienna Trinh x Max Valentine (M!OC) Rating/Category: Teen. Fluff. Words: 1,420

A/N: I'm using @choicesflashfics week 18, prompt 1 (in bold). Submission for @choices-february2023, day 12 prompt: Marriage. Late submission for @choicesjanuarychallenge Day 5: Drink.

The bar was packed with the after-work crowd enjoying Happy Hour specials. Max Valentine parked himself on a bar stool with a clear view of the door.

He ignored his cousin’s attempts to convince him of the merits of having a bachelor party. No matter how many times he said no, Tony just kept going.

His day had started at six with a conference call, and he was tired. But Sienna had texted earlier to ask if they could meet for drinks and welcome her old roommate from medical school who had recently transferred to Sibley Memorial.

Max knew how hard it was for Sienna to uproot her life in Boston and move to DC. So, he was doubly committed to seeing her settled and happy here, with her own friends.

When his wife walked in a few minutes later, Max left Tony mid-sentence to grab Sienna before the crowd swallowed her up. When she saw him, her face lit up with a smile that likely mirrored his.

She reached him first, placing her hands on his arms for balance as she stretched on her toes to peck his lips. It was too short and not satisfying at all. He hauled her up to give her a proper hello, his lips capturing hers in a searing kiss.

“Hi,” she whispered dreamily, her fingers trailing the edge of his jaw.

“Hey.”

“Are you two done?” A woman asked, amusement coloring her tone.

Max glanced at the tall brunette standing behind Sienna and extended his hand. “Not even close. Max Valentine.”

“Kelly Macintosh.” She shook his hand. “I know who you are. You’re on Si’s Picta feed a lot. A huge improvement on Wayne, by the way.”

The last was directed at Sienna, who grinned cheekily and nestled against Max. When Tony joined them, she made quick introductions.

“You look nice,” Tony said, greeting Sienna with a friendly kiss on the cheek. “Now that you’re here help me convince Max that he needs a bachelor party. It’s a time-honored tradition, and the guys are looking forward to sending him off in style.”

When Sienna looked at him in confusion, Max just rolled his eyes.

“I keep telling you, cuz, I’m already married.” He held up his left hand and pointed to the wedding band. “I don’t need a stag party, not anymore.”

The hostess interrupted to tell them their table was ready, and they followed her to a corner booth. They exchanged small talk while they waited, ordering drinks and appetizers for the table when their server arrived.

When they were alone, Sienna stared at Tony with a steely-eyed gaze. “What kind of stag party? Vegas and strippers? Just how, exactly, are you planning to send my husband off in style?”

Tony sputtered, and Max settled back to enjoy his discomfort. He let Sienna grill his cousin while he turned towards her friend, who was trying to hold back her laughter.

“So, you must have lots of young Sienna stories,” he mused. “What was she like in med school?”

“Studious with a hint of mischief,” Kelly replied. “She was always baking muffins for everyone when we had early morning class and cookies for our weekly study group. Definitely had a reputation for being a good girl, willing to help everyone out.”

Max laughed and winked at Sienna. “So, she hasn’t changed at all.”

“Don’t know why everyone thinks I’m a goody-two-shoes,” Sienna complained. “I can be bad too.”

“Oh, yeah?” Max grinned wickedly, picking up the drink the server placed in front of him. “Just how bad are we talking here?”

Suddenly, there was a commotion near the bar, and they looked over to see a woman lying flat on the bar while her friends did belly shots.

“I can prove that I’m not Little Miss Nice,” Sienna insisted stubbornly, nodding towards the bar. “Body shots, here and now.”

“I know med school was a few years ago, Si,” Kelly cut in with a rueful shake of her head. “But I don’t believe people can do a complete a one-eighty in personality. You’re not the type of person that strips down and does body shots in a bar, surrounded by a bunch of strangers.”

Max raised Sienna’s hand to his lips and bussed the inside of her palm. “You have nothing to prove…Killa Cream.”

Sienna flushed when she caught his reference to the tag name she’d graffitied on Edenbrook’s back wall. The incident had been part of a Boston Bucket List she and her friends checked off on Kyra’s last week in Boston. She and Max weren’t talking then, so Cassie must have told him.

The conversation topic changed, but Sienna wasn’t paying attention. She watched the woman at the bar, now standing upright and laughing, and her frustration rose.

Okay, so she had never done a body shot in her life. Science geeks never got invited to those types of parties in college. And med school students preferred getting drunk and spouting Latin medical terms. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t do it if she tried.

Besides, who said she was the one who had to strip? Body shots were an equal-opportunity game.

A considering look entered her eyes, and she gazed up at Max, not even trying to hide her eagerness.

“Nope, puppy dog eyes are not going to work this time!” he said vociferously, reading her thoughts perfectly.

“But Max…” she pleaded. “You always say you’ll do anything for me.”

“What’s going on?” Tony asked.

“Body shots,” Max bit out, not taking his eyes off Sienna, and then he sighed in resignation. “Tony, get the tequila and lime.”

Sienna knew she looked smug, but she couldn’t help it. Kelly caught her eye and grinned, raising her glass in a toast.

Tony returned with a bottle of tequila, a couple of shot glasses, lime wedges and a salt shaker. Max cleared space on the table, took off his jacket and set it aside. Then he unbuttoned his shirt and shrugged it off his shoulders, but not stripping down completely.

“Sienna, you lucky girl,” Kelly wolf-whistled, but Max ignored her.

“We’re going to keep it beginner’s level,” he told Sienna pointedly. “Abs, pecs or neck, dealer’s choice. One shot, in a glass. Lick, shoot, suck. Got it?”

Sienna nodded and stepped back as Tony helped Max get horizontal. His torso was flat on the table, but his legs dangled off the edge and she stepped between his thighs.

Max cupped her jaw and his green eyes peered into hers. “One more thing. If we end up in the tabloids, I will take great pleasure in saying I told you so.”

“Whatever,” Sienna said, unconcerned, and shushed him by shoving a lime wedge between his teeth.

She stared down at her husband and thought about where to start. But she knew that if she got one chance only, it would have to be her favorite spot.

Sienna threw him a wicked look and sprinkled salt along his abs, giggling when she saw the laughter in his eyes. She leaned over him, licked the salt from his skin and took a shot of tequila. She bit into the lime and gently pulled the wedge out of Max’s mouth, enjoying the tart flavor before she tossed it away.

She moved closer to kiss him softly and could still taste the lime on his lips. She felt him smile through the kiss, and his hands gripped the sides of her waist.

She coursed her fingers through his blond hair, enjoying the feel of his warm bare skin beneath her and completely forgot where they were.

Sienna abruptly broke off the kiss when Tony coughed loudly. She stepped back and sheepishly peeked at Kelly and Tony standing beside them, shock and awe on their faces.

She had been this close to climbing on top of Max, which would have landed them on HS Tea for sure.

Max pushed himself off the table and started to button up his shirt. He smirked, once again reading her thoughts.

“I stand corrected,” Kelly teased, fanning herself exaggeratedly with her hands. “Med School Sienna would have never done something like this.”

Sienna blushed when everyone laughed and buried her face against Max’s chest. His arms enveloped her, and his lips grazed her earlobe.

“When we get home, Si,” his voice dropped to a whisper, making her shiver, “it’s my turn to show you exactly how bad I can be. I promise you that it will be downright wicked.”

----------------

All Fics & Edits: @a-crepusculo @annfg8 @bex-la-get @bluebelle08 @choicesaddict5 @coffeeheartaddict2 @crazy-loca-blog @doriopenheart @genevievemd @headoverheelsforramsey @lucy-268 @jamespotterthefirst @jerzwriter @lady-calypso @mainstreetreader @mysticalgalaxysstuff @openheartforeverinmyheart @peonierose @takemyopenheart @potionsprefect @queencarb @quixoticdreamer16 @rookiemartin @socalwriterbee @tessa-liam @trappedinfanfiction @vi-writes-stuff @zahrachoices

Submissions: @choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

Max & Sienna only: @aallotarenunelma @storyofmychoices

[pbandjesse]

I slept really well last night. It was the best I've slept in days. The combination of meds the camp nurse suggested worked really well and I only remember waking up once to use the bathroom. I didn't even have any bad dreams. Me and James had swapped sides of the bed and I dont know if that helped but maybe it did.

When I woke up I didn't feel sick anymore. Like I was sore everywhere but I wasn't nauseous in the way I had been. And I was thrilled. I was like I'm good! Things are good. I was tired. And I didn't want to go to camp, but I thought I was okay!

James accidently spilled their coffee in their backpack so they had to stay behind a few minutes to clean that up. So I left before them.

I had a donut while I was driving and I'm very glad I did because I would not eat until the late afternoon. I was sipping water and enjoying my donut and trying to have a nice morning.

James had reached out to our doctor about my nausea and I would follow up with a referral. But that office wouldn't open until 9. So I just tried to hang out.

I went and gave Heather a hug. I said hello to the nurse. I hung up the replacement hammock. And while I was doing so I found a Luna moth! Which apparently symbolizes new beginnings.

I would call the referral number at 9 and when I explained what has been going on, they said I needed to go to urgent care. They set up an appointment for me at their office but it wouldn't be for a few weeks. So they said in an abundance of caution, I needed to go get fluids and get checked out. That being so nauseous and dizzy and blurry visioned for a week is not normal at all. So I had to go let the office know.

They told me they would make sure everyone was in the know that art was self service today. But I also would reach out to the village directors so that everyone knew what was up. And left a note on the door about materials. I was shaking a little. And would run into CJ and let her know I was leaving to go to urgent care. And that u would let her know what was up later on.

This was only partially true though. I would go to urgent care. But almost immediately they told me I needed to go to the emergency room. That I needed more care. I was glad I stopped there, they were nice, but it also made me more sure I needed to go to union memorial.

I was already stressed because when I had looked for my wallet it was not in my bag and so I did not have my insurance card. I was super confused about that. So before I went to the ER I would stop at home and get my headphones and my battery packs (my phone was at 18%) and tried to find my wallet but was getting more and more worked up. So I gave up and would just figure that out later.

I drove to the ER and would park on the parking garage. Which if you were only there for u see 6 hours cost $5 but jumps to $20 after that! Wild. I hoped to not be there longer then 6 hours.

And I wasn't. I would arrive around 1030. And was one of two people in the waiting room. And both of us were brought back right away. Amazing.

I was nervous. But they were very kind. I got moved to a room pretty fast. And they were very nice and made me laugh. I kept saying it was weird being here when you didn't actually feel to bad. And it was. I was able to look around more and not feel so focused on how horrible I felt. Like I still felt bad and I was scared but it was a different thing.

I would get poked and prodded. They gave me a bag of saline for the dehydration. And would rest my blood and other vitals. I would have a lot of people come through and ask me questions.

I was feeling better already with the saline. But it would take a while to get through the whole bag.

I was getting very very hungry. And I really was hoping I would be freed soon. And just around 3 I was finally allowed to go. The doctor talked to me about what I need to do to not feel so bad and gave me the blood work and stuff to give to my doctor. I have an appointment set up and I just need to try and eat bland foods and drink more water. Even if it makes my stomach turn a little.

I was really happy to go home. I had a little trouble finding the car in the parking garage but I found it and went home. It was shockingly hot outside. The security guard at the hospital wished me a blessed day and to stay cool and I promised I would. And when I got home I focused right on that.

I would eat the lunch James packed for me and laid on the couch. And fell right asleep petting Sweetp.

I woke up when James got home. And I was still super tired but I was really happy to see them. They would clean up and we chatted about my day and how they can support me in feeling better. And gave me kisses and also had brought me hichew candy which was very nice of them.

We went to tambers diner to have dinner with Anne and Tucker. And it was a really nice meal. Anne got a haircut that looked really nice. Tucker was quiet. I hope he is okay and just tired. They told us about this vacation they are leaving for tomorrow. And we got sandwiches and fries and it was nice.

I would start feeling a little nauseous again and just tried to breathe through it and it would work pretty well.

We would drive Anne and Tucker back to their house. They gave us some produce that they didn't want to go bad while they were gone. Hugs all around and we went home.

When we got back here I would take a shower and then a bath and then a rinse off shower. I washed my hair really good and scrubbed scrubbed scrubbed everything. It made me feel more like a person.

I have been hanging in bed since then. James ran to the store and got me orange juice and frozen strawberries. Just trying to stay hydrated even though everything tastes weird. I am very sleepy. But I am happy that we have a plan of attack for not feeling well. And James and Sweetp are laying in bed with me. And I am happy.

I hope you are all doing well. I am worried about being out at the market tomorrow but if I need to bail I know Ann won't be upset with me. I hope it is a good day. For you all too! Sleep well everyone. Until tomorrow.

[ghooostbaby]

was tagged by @muigiel ^^

nine albums or songs I've been listening to lately x nine people I’d like to get to know better x tag game with no name

1. why did you choose your url? i heard "ghost baby" could be a translation of wei ying (from mdzs) and i really loved that vibe

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them. @revengegarden which i use to put art inspiration in.

3. how long have you been on tumblr? i think i first joined when it was in beta in like 2009! i didnt really know how to use it though. i used it intermittently over the years to post silly poetry and save stuff from the internet i enjoyed. i never really interacted with anyone or understand how that worked. i made a new account in 2020 when i got interested in fandom stuff during pandemic lockdown times..

4. do you have a queue tag? no

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? well i answered that above kind of ... i've always sort of gotten weird obsessed with whatever i'm watching or reading, no one else i knew really had the same level and that i remember during the first weeks of lockdown searching stuff on what i was watching instead of bothering uninterested people about it and ended up on tumblr looking at fan art of zuko and sokka :P and all these people losing it over fictional characters i was like ... i think i'm home? so i got a tumblr to participate in it more.

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? my name is from wei wuxian so i wanted a pic of him! he was sort of my main blorbo at the time making this account, and he truly captured my heart when he was all red-eyed insane with rage playing his demon flute

7. why did you choose your header? i don't know what my header is haha

8. what’s your post with the most notes? i'm not sure exactly, but i think the last 'annual stats' thing tumblr shared was a feverish cumplane head canon i posted. i also get notes every day on a recent post about wu ming fanon vs canon. but actually my looooong ranting meta about wei wuxian and lan wangji is probably the most notes. but reading that meta makes me want to hide under a rock encountering my past self

9. how many mutuals do you have? a couple

10. how many followers do you have? o.o

11. how many people do you follow? a few hundred i think?

12. have you ever made a shitpost? *looks up definition of shitpost* no

13. how often do you use tumblr each day? probably an hour a day just scrolling on my phone when i'm too tired to do anything else... i've had a job this summer that has been brutally long hours and tiring so i'm not in the mood to sit at my computer much

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? sometimes haha. listen, sometimes people have takes that are so bad i have to say SOMEthing. then i get so terrified of being yelled at i delete everything or ignore tumblr for 2 weeks or ask @muigiel if people are being mean in my notes hahaha

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts ummmmm

16. do you like tag games? it's nice to be tagged! atm i usually don't have time when i receive them and then the notification passes and i forget, this one i put in my drafts though

17. do you like ask games? love to be a part of one one day T.T idk maybe more people would send me asks if i turned on anon but a year or so ago i started getting all these terfs harassing me in my asks (must be doing something right?) so i turned off anon. one actually was mad enough to send me a death threat (?!) from their account so i was able to report them

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? haha i don't have many, just all of us small fish swimming together.. but i think a lot of people in danmei fandoms really love what @baiwu-jinji posts :) although i think they're not super active rn or we're not on at the same times

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? no but if you're in love with me let me know! i wouldn't be opposed to a tumblr romance :P

20. what is the last song you listened to? hmmmm i think i was listening to a Grouper album last

21. what are you currently watching? i wanted to find something new to watch that had perfect gorgeous visuals of beautiful outside places and ended up watching Orlando last night

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy? all!

23. what is your current relationship status? single

24. what is your current obsession? tgcf, he xuan, yin yu, maurice (film & reading the book)

25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?

maurice soundtrack !!

80s dancey music bc my taste definitely gears towards lyricless and traditonal/folk music but i've been working with kids who all want to listen to justin bieber all the time so trying to get some fun pop music i can also enjoy (i just hate the sounds of contemp pop music sorry, somehow it feels so... digital? data-driven? written by AI?) - and actually have found madonna is soooo good.

and then relistening to old favourites... yesterday i was enjoying my rock n roll romance playlist which has david bowie, bauhaus, wanda jackson (tunnel of love), suicide (cheree), roy orbison, dead or alive

if you want to take a look inside my brain https://www.nts.live/shows/cantus-orbis

tag 9 people.. uhh. how about just @unfotp @marloviandevil @baiwu-jinji but no obligation!

[aelaer]

writing update yay

Write Every Day June was a smashing success. Even on days I really wasn't feeling it due to being tired or having a crappy day (which definitely happened more than once), just rereading the part before the section I was about to write helped get me in the mood to go.

On the first and possibly the second day I wrote for a one-shot that likely won't see the light of day for ages, but the rest of the month was dedicated to Fic 5 in my series which I'm pretty sure I'm calling Above the Shadows. The fic doc was at 57k when I started this month, and in the wee hours of July 1st it's at 96k, so 39k new words (probably more as I deleted a lot of notes too, but many of those words are more notes so it evens out).

This is by far the most success I've had in writing for one piece of fiction in a month. I completed NaNo once by accident writing for Whumptober 2019, but that was across 31 fics. The other times I was recording how much I was writing in the past was 29k for a July NaNo back in like, 2010, and then last August for this same fic where I wrote a bit every day and got about 20ish-k done then.

As for actual fic progress, well, this month had me finishing the mostly-complete 6 and 7, fully writing out chapters 8-11, writing an interlude, mostly-completing 12 and 13, and writing a handful of pages for 14. Though throughout this whole process items kept being put in and events kept on being shifted to a newly labeled chapter, leaving the chapter count to grow ever larger.

If I had to guess (and again, it's definitely a bit hard to guess), I think the final chapter count is going to be 18-19 full chapters (which are like 5k-8k a pop) and 2 shorter interlude chapters. And I think at 96k, about 7k of that is just notes and A/Ns, so I really have 89k of fic. Looking at what scenes I have past the current chapter 13, and if I keep it to 19 chapters at 6.5k average I'm maybe... 2/3rds done with the fic.

I'll have a better idea once I have 14 and 15 solidified, I think.

Unfortunately I can't continue Write Every Day trends with July as most weekends I'm going out of town this month, including a whole jaunt to Comic Con. But I'll do my best to write each day on the weekdays I'm in town.

As for publishing, I am seriously considering a slow rollout to start with publishing a chapter like every 3 weeks at around the 80% mark which honestly, I'd really hope would be in August if July's as successful as last August. It'd give my beta plenty of time to work too on the last chapters, and by then I shouldn't suddenly stumble into a plothole that needs to be fixed 10 chapters previous. Then once everything's done it'd change probably to once a week.

So yeah! We'll see what life brings. But I'm crossing fingers to have something public by the end of the summer if I go the slow rollout route.

[megan-loves-surveys]

Let's go.

1 - Who was the last person to give you a gift? What was the reason for it? Christmas lol.

2 - Are you a good cook? If so, who taught you? What’s your favourite thing to cook? No I suck. My boyfriend has been trying to teach me but I'm awful.

3 - When was the last time something in your house broke? Did you manage to fix it or did you need to buy a replacement? Good question, I'm not sure.

4 - Is any part of your body hurting right now? What caused that pain? Not right now.

5 - Do you have anything exciting planned for the upcoming weekend? I'm going to a wrestling show, that'll be fun.

6 - If you could spend two weeks in any city in the world, which city would you pick and why? London or NYC, cos so much to do, I wouldn't get bored.

7 - When was the last time you tripped or fell in public? if there was nobody around to see you, did you still feel embarrassed? Ages ago, I don't think anyone saw me.

8 - The last time you made a sandwich, what did you put in there? Peanut butter.

9 - How many hours sleep did you get last night? Was that enough for you or could you have slept for longer? 6 hours and 40 mins, I could have had a bit longer but eh.

10 - What’s your favourite time of day? What’s your favourite thing to do at that time? Evenings, that's my free time! I listen to music, watch wrestling, play video games, talk on Discord etc.

11 - Where did you go the last time you left your house? I went to work, then after work I went out for a meal with my Mum.

12 - Are you tired right now? Will you be going to bed anytime soon? I'm alright, and no it's 12:26pm xD

13 - How many times a week do you get takeaway coffee, if you get it at all? I mostly stay away from coffee cos caffeine does a number on me.

14 - What radio station do you listen to the most? None.

15 - If you eat steak, how do you like it cooked? What sauces or sides do you like to go with it? I don't.

16 - Do you prefer sweet or savoury pancakes? What toppings do you have on them? Mixture - I get them with bacon and maple syrup.

17 - Are you someone who cracks their joints a lot? Which one(s) do you tend to crack and click the most? Yep, especially my knees and my fingers xD

18 - Have you ever taken medication or tablets to help you sleep? is this something you do on a regular basis? No.

19 - For you, what’s the worst thing about getting up in the morning? What about the worst thing about going to bed tonight? Actually getting up, after I do, I'm fine. And going to bed is annoying cos I have to haul all the plushies off it xD

20 - Do you prefer regular or diet soft drinks? Definitely diet, regular is usually too sweet.

21 - What do you tend to wear if you’re just hanging about the house for the day? Depends on the time of year - in summer, it'll be a jumpsuit, summer dress or tank top & shorts. In winter, it'll be comfy yoga pants and a hoodie with ugg boots.

22 - When was the last time you dyed your hair? Did you do it yourself or get it done at a hairdresser? December, I went to the salon.

23 - Does having to wear a mask stop you doing things? Is this because you struggle wearing one or you just don’t like it? We thankfully don't have to wear them anymore, but we did have to wear them for months in 2021 and 2022 - inside any buildings and on public transport.

24 - Have you ever witnessed a car accident? Or have you perhaps been involved in one yourself? Were you at fault? Does getting hit by a car count? LOL.

25 - When was the last time you baked a cake? What cake was it? I don't bake.

26 - Do you like wearing bows or accessories in your hair? Nah.

27 - How many books do you read in a year? Do you enjoy reading or do you have to really force yourself to sit down and read? Not as many as I should. I've read two this year so far lol.

28 - If you have pets, where did they come from? A breeder, a rescue or maybe a friend who bred their pet? No pets.

29 - Do you make your bed every morning when you get up? Yep.

30 - When was the last time you got takeaway food? Was it good? I had KFC on Friday if that counts.

1 - Who was the last person to knock on your door? Were they there to see you? My boyfriend, he usually texts me to let him into our complex but the gate was open last time and he was able to come in on his own.

2 - Have you left the house yet today? If not, do you have plans to leave the house later on? Not yet, and yes, I'm heading out to a concert later this afternoon around 3:30 or so.

3 - What’s your favourite brand of chocolate? What type of chocolate bar from that brand is your favourite? Any Belgian chocolate, Whittakers (NZ brand) and Cadbury's.

4 - Have you ever met someone in person who you first met on the internet? Do you have plans to do that anytime soon? Oh yeah, quite a few of my friends were online friends first, then later on we met in real life.

5 - What was the last thing you used a blender for? We don't own a blender.

6 - Have you ever got into an argument with a stranger on social media? Do you remember what it was about? Oh, loads of times. They're usually about wrestling xD

7 - When was the last time you cracked your joints? Is that something you do often? I do that way too much.

8 - What time is it right now? If you weren’t doing a survey, what else would you be doing right now? 1:25pm. I'd either be at work, at the gym or watching wrestling or playing a video game haha.

9 - If you had ten minutes to run around an empty supermarket and fill your trolley for free, what’s the first aisle you’d go for? Chips! Haha.

10 - Aside from Tumblr, what websites do you visit the most and why? last.fm, Facebook, Reddit, YouTube. All the usuals.

11 - Has COVID had any impact on your Christmas plans this year? What’s going to change or be different to normal? No, Covid isn't really a problem anymore. It's still around of course, but it doesn't affect stuff as much now.

12 - What’s your favourite flavour of cake? Are you any good at making that kind of cake? Any! And I suck at baking.

13 - Do you prefer sweet or sour candy? Sour.

14 - What colour is your favourite fruit? Is this a fruit you eat often? Yellow, cos it's bananas haha. And I don't eat them that much really.

15 - Is your favourite restaurant an independent place or a chain? What is it that you love about it so much? Porterhouse Grill, it's independent as far as I know. It's expensive but the food is so good and the staff are so friendly.

16 - Are you genuinely a fan of Starbucks or do you think it’s all hype? I love it! I go at least once a week.

17 - Do you own a Christmas jumper? What design/pattern does it have on it? I do, I have two, they're both wrestling ones - one is Seth Rollins, the other is Roman Reigns. I can't wear them at Christmas though cos it's too hot, so I wear them in July lol.

18 - What’s your favourite fit/style of jeans? Skinny jeans.

19 - What was the last non-essential item you spent money on? I dropped a bunch of money on backing the Broken Sword kickstarter haha.

20 - Are you currently under any COVID-related restrictions where you live? Are people generally following the rules? No, they lifted those in 2022.

21 - What did you last leave the room you’re in to do? To go downstairs for lunch.

22 - Have you ever read any self-help books? Did you find them useful? No.

23 - What’s your favourite programme on the Food Network (if you watch it)? If you don’t get that channel, what’s your favourite food/cookery show in general? I don't like cooking shows.

24 - Do you still watch cartoons? Yep sometimes.

25 - Who do you know with the most number of siblings? Would you ever want to live in a huge family? Ngawari, my BFF. She has 9 brothers and sisters! And no.

26 - Are you a fan of garlic bread? Yes! Yummy.

27 - Do you own any personalized clothing? What’s the reason for getting it? No.

28 - Is anyone else in the same room as you right now? What is that person up to? No, my Mum is downstairs.

29 - What colours are you wearing right now? Does your wardrobe contain a lot of those colours? Only black haha. And yes.

30 - Do you like adding condiments to your food? If so, what are some of your favourites? I am a condiment addict, I use so many different ones. But I def use tomato sauce/ketchup the most, with mayo in second.

This past year…

who were your favorite singers, musicians, or bands?

My most played artist on Spotify was Taylor Swift, lol. But on last.fm my #1 was Ayumi Hamasaki, like she is most years.

what were some of your favorite foods?

Mac & cheese, always.

what was your favorite dessert?

Iceblocks or ice cream.

what was the best thing that happened to you?

I got permanent work finally! It started as a temp job, but my boss liked me so much he offered me the permanent position. Yay me!

what was the worst thing that happened to you?

Dunno, 2023 was pretty good, all things considered.

how have you grown as a person?

Sure.

what have you learned?

That a temp job can turn into a permanent one if you work hard enough and impress.

how old did you turn?

36.

what did you do for your birthday?

I had dinner with my BFF on my actual birthday, then the next day I went to lunch with my Mum and then went out for drinks with my boyfriend.

what did you accomplish?

Got a permanent job, went to the gym regularly for the whole year etc.

where did you live?

I've lived in the same place since 2016 lol.

who was your best friend?

Ngawari, we reconnected in a big way last year - she was inspired to join the gym by me and now we go together every week.

This past year, have you….

made a new friend?

Yes.

lost a friend?

Yes :( My friend Zoe passed from cancer.

made a new best friend?

No.

lost someone close to you?

Yes.

attended a funeral?

No, cos Zoe didn't have a funeral, they just had a get together and I couldn't go cos we lived in different cities.

attended a wedding?

No.

gave birth to a child? 🤰

No.

“came out of the closet”?

No.

traveled?

God I wish.

felt depressed? 😔

No.

felt suicidal? 😔

No.

felt happy? 😃

Yes!

felt at peace? 😊

Probably?

felt overjoyed? 💃

Sure.

felt blessed? 😇

Dunno.

felt amazed? 🤩

Sure.

fallen in love? 😍

I was already in love <3

had your heart broken? 💔

No..

got a new car? 🚗

No..

graduated? 👩‍🎓

No.

experienced something miraculous? ✨

Nah.

had a better year than last year?

2023 was way better than 2022 for sure.

had a worse year than last year?

No.

been to see the doctor? 👨‍⚕️

I didn't, lol.

been to the hospital? 🏥

No.

had a severe allergic reaction? 🤧

No.

had COVID? 🦠

I think I did, I got sick twice in two months - once was a cold, the other was prob Covid.

found out someone you knew had COVID? 🦠

Yes.

used an epi pen? 💉

No.

had a fever? 🥵

No.

had a migraine? 🧠

Too damn many.

gone on a date? 🌹

Loads.

written in a journal or diary? 📔

Yes.

given someone a hug? 🤗

Loads.

cut your hair? 💇‍♀️

No, but I dyed it a few times.

danced around your living room? 💃

No.

prayed? 🙏

No.

worshiped Jesus?

No.

read the Bible? 📖

No.

discovered a new favorite book? 📕

No.

gone to church? ⛪️

No.

went for a walk in the fall? 🍁

Probably.

set up and decorated a Christmas tree? 🎄

Yes.

threw up? 🤮

No.

almost threw up? 🤢

Yes.

discovered a new music artist you really liked? 🎤

Loads!

discovered a new song you really liked? 🎶

LOADS.

seen snow? ⛄️

No.

seen beautiful fall foliage? 🍁

Yes.

gone to the beach? 🏝

No.

rode a bike? 🚴

No.

rode a horse? 🐎

No.

swam? 👙

No.

worn makeup? 💄

No.

done a craft project?

No.

made a scrapbook page?

No.

written an essay? 📝

No.

painted something? 🎨

No.

drawn something? ✍️

No.

sketched in a sketchbook?

No.

written someone a letter? 📝

No.

been to a concert? 👩‍🎤

Yep, I went to see the Vengaboys last year.

driven a car? 🚘

No.

kayaked? 🛶

No.

gone on a cruise? 🚢

No.

made a big purchase?

Depends what you consider big.

moved to a new home? 🏡

No.

got a new pet?

No.

lost a pet?

No.

gotten a tattoo?

No.

gotten a new piercing?

No.

started a new hobby?

No.

worn a mask? 😷

We didn't have to wear them in 2023.

felt afraid to leave your house?

No.

celebrated your birthday alone?

No.

celebrated Christmas alone?

No.

went for a long walk through the neighborhood?

Yes.

Favorites of this Year (Pick one for each.)

Song:

Hard choice, probably CuteBad - Provocateur

Book:

Dunno.

TV show:

Raw or Dynamite.

Youtube channel:

I have loads of faves, but prob Call Me Kevin. He's always funny no matter what.

Food:

Mac & cheese.

Dessert:

Iceblocks.

Drink:

Starbucks mocha java chip frappe.

Friend:

Ngawari or David.

Thing you did:

Saw the Vengaboys or going to wrestling shows.

Place you went:

Nowhere lol.

Person you spend time with:

My Mum.

Thing you did for your birthday:

Gone to eat.

Celebrity:

Jon Moxley.

Website:

YouTube or last.fm.

Emojis:

Laughing crying face or heart.

Colors:

Purple & blue.

Restaurant:

Porterhouse Grill.

Tea flavor ☕️:

I don't like tea.

Final Questions!

Would you say this past year has been a good year overall?

Pretty good, yeah.

What are your goals for the new year?

Keep going to the gym, mainly.

How old will you turn next year?

37.

Did you make any big mistakes this past year?

No.

Do you have any big changes coming?

No.

How will you be celebrating New Year’s Eve this year?

I just hung out with my boyfriend and his friends and we had some drinks.

What was the best day of this year for you, and why?

Hard to pick.

What did you spend the most time doing this year?

Working and going to the gym, lol.

[marylynbirds]

My journey studying with Autism (higher education)

Not sure if this is going to help anyone, but I wanted to share some of my experiences studying with autism (in the Netherlands specifically). I guess I just want to show, even though I'm doing well academically now, there is more to that than just being smart, I had to grow a lot before getting where I am today. Buckle up; it's a long one. (disclaimer after writing: it doesn't focus a lot on autism explicitly, but it definitely had a lot of influence)

tl;dr: I had a number of struggles, made some decisions, and am doing better now! First, some context: in the Netherlands, there are several forms of higher education; the ones that are important in my story are Universities of Applied Sciences (or: Higher professional education. HBO in Dutch) and Research Universities (WO in Dutch). As the name implies, a WO focuses on research, thinking analytically and critically. It has higher entry requirements than HBO. It has a relatively high teaching speed and requires a lot of self-study; in general, it is considered a lot harder than HBO. Study programs at an HBO are more practical, and your future profession is a lot clearer from the start (the programs are more specific), and there is more supervision (and, in my experience, group work, though this may vary).

Without getting too much into the Dutch educational system: I followed the 6-year program that would allow me to go to a WO immediately after high school (at the age of 18). I chose to study history and then do a masters to become a high school history teacher. I also started a part-time job in September. I had to travel for a little over an hour to get to class. And... I had no idea I have autism.

year 1

I loved it. I loved the academic environment, learning all the new things, and going to classes. At first, things seemed great! Until exams came around. Even though I had been making my homework passionately, I didn't pass any of the three exams. (Do note that I had to pass 9 out of 12 courses to be allowed to stay in the program, so missing the first 3 already was a big deal). The student councillor wasn't too worried. He told me to follow a course on study skills (which helped a lot! I do recommend looking into the resources your school offers, I paid maybe 5 euros for 6 sessions of coaching). And he told me that if I was worried about the 9 out of 12 rule (BSA for those familiar with the system), I could unenroll before February and try again next year. Even though my study skills improved, I didn't have enough time to apply them in the second block, so I also failed those 3 exams (and the resits). I also felt like I needed a break, I was so tired and decided to do as the student councillor had advised: I unenrolled before the start of the 2nd semester.

year 2

I spent the next semester putting in a few more hours at that part-time job I mentioned earlier and even got more responsibilities over the summer. I also decided I wanted to move out and live in the city where I was also studying; it'd save me about 3-4 hours of travelling every day. I moved into a little studio that summer. I kept my job in the town I came from. The first semester went by pretty smoothly! I failed 2 classes but was probably able to pass them during resits. I was tired a lot and spent more time on the part-time job than I wanted, so I quit (maybe the semester didn't go by as smoothly as I remember, lol). The second semester started in February 2020, and a few weeks in, we went into lockdown. Tbh, the combination of having quit my job and having no obligations besides doing my homework and showing up for online classes was great. It allowed me to rest and focus on my studies (which I was still quite passionate about). (I know a lot of people had a terrible time during lockdowns and had very negative experiences due to covid. I count myself lucky that I didn't). I passed all my classes that year and moved on to the second year (out of three).

year 3

I was doing a lot better at this point. I felt capable and even became a student mentor for the upcoming first years (I had to show them around the campus once and just be available to answer basic questions. Because of covid, we had a weekly check-in online).

I also moved to a bigger studio during the first term, it was hectic, but I managed to write the two essays that needed to get done and passed both with a good grade. HOWEVER. My mother had gotten slightly concerned and started wondering if maybe I had autism (like my 2 brothers and both my parents...)(for context: my mother is a kind of social worker who specialised in autism, so she was making a VERY educated guess) because little things seemed to stress me out much more than is considered 'normal'. The second term was terrible. I had no idea how I was supposed to write my essay, and the teaching style did not at all match my study style. I spoke to the student councillor again and cut down on the workload. At the end of the first semester, I was put on a waitlist to get a diagnosis, and I also applied for additional financial help because I was not able to have a job while studying (because of the suspected autism). During the second semester, things went downhill quite quickly. I was tired and had lost motivation. In April, I decided I would switch study programs and go to an HBO after the summer and follow the English teacher program there.

Year 4

Things were very different at HBO. I actually felt like I was back in high school. My co-students seemed to have much less discipline than me, and most were a few years younger. I am fairly certain that people thought of me as a teacher's pet (which I am, tbh) and possibly a bit arrogant because I was not shy in letting people know I knew the answer. I quickly noticed I had a big advantage in multiple facets: study skills, self-discovery, English proficiency (my history courses were all in English) and history (specifically British and USA). This allowed me to focus my energy on other things: such as adjusting to the new social situation, my new relationship (I met him at the teaching program, lol) and getting a diagnosis. I passed all my courses in one try, except my speaking exam (pronunciation is my weak spot, I passed the resit). I didn't have time for a job or a lot of extracurriculars, but I managed to get through the year pretty well with good grades. I also was officially diagnosed at the start of the second semester. year 5

This was the past year. It was tough, but again, I managed to get through the year with good grades. Do I think I could keep up a full-time job as a teacher? Maybe not the best idea if I also want to have a social life. But I feel like I am getting the hang of things and am getting more aware of my needs (especially in relation to my autism). I did experience a lot of stress the past few weeks as I had to finish a few reports and am looking for ways to get help with reports I have difficulty with. Making the decision to go from WO to HBO was quite scary. It was not what I had in mind, and it'd mean adding a whole lot of years to my student debt (we actually have an okay system here). During this year, I was actually able to have part of my student debt erased, so that was a big relief. Idk how many of you will make it to this point of the post. And I don't know if any of you got any wiser from reading about my experiences. I hope it gave you some hope that not everything has to be perfect from the start. It took me some time to find out what was best for me; it's okay if you need more time. Anyway, I might make a post about what it is like to study with autism. If you have any questions about: - studying in the Netherlands (with or without autism) - picking between WO or HBO - what regulations I applied for to get additional funding and have part of my student debt erased (these are regulations for Dutch students with disabilities, not just autism) - or anything else you think I might be able to say something useful about feel free to leave a comment! (I am fluent in Dutch, so if that's easier for you, that's fine!)