#i'm so tired i can't even be mad

[weewooooweew]

shoutout to my mom for making me want to die and caring so much more about my academic success rather than my overall physical and mental well-being

[posalis]

"If you love me, you don't love me in a way I understand." - 'Wishbone' by Richard Siken x

[pseudophan]

gonna be so sad when tonight is the first preshow space with good audio and i'm asleep because i have a psych appointment tomorrow

[thetardisisnotourdivision]

I am unreasonably upset about the fact that I've been forced to accept that Gabriel was a Gerald.

For context, in An Inspector Calls, Gerald Croft is engaged to Sheila Birling when he meets a homeless, struggling Eva Smith in a bar, and essentially in return for a home and money he shows her affection (ahem), then gets rid of her once he no longer has a use for her. Now, obviously this isn't a direct translation, but the essentials are - a Gerald is a character who uses another character, in return for something they need, usually masking the fact that they're using them with affection and love.

And against my will I've had to accept that this is exactly what Gabriel does to Nathalie.

Did I want to think he had potential to be better? Did I think he genuinely cared for Nathalie?? Hell, did I just really really want somebody to care about Nathalie???

Probably all of the above but the point is: he's Gerald. And I cannot - I literally can't unsee it now. Their whole dynamic in S3 is like “oh boohoo I'm sorry I wish you didn't have to use the peacock Miraculous and kill yourself over it but uh I need to use your powers” “yeah no that's fine I'm all good”. Which, given the "Gerald" theorem, I'm assuming leads to the fact that what Nathalie needed, above all, was someone to care about her - and Gabriel came along, as Sheila Birling puts it, "like a fairytale prince", and was so caring and gentle and... Yeah. She fell for him. And. Yeah he genuinely did seem to care like twice. But so did Gerald. Gerald actually admits that he did care for Eva, just not the way that she cared for him, and, uh, not enough to not just dispose of her. So he discards her anyway when she stops being useful.

Leading me neatly to my point.

He starts using the peacock Miraculous the second it's fixed, the slimy bastard, HOWEVER. It runs way deeper than that. Assuming I'm right (which I almost DEFINITELY am), then Gabriel only needed Nathalie while she was useful. She didn't stop being useful in season three - she's still scheming for him, helping him with plan after plan. It's only partway through season 5 that she officially servers ties with him, and starts to actively hinder him.

Nathalie stops being useful when she fails as Safari. And I reckon that's when Gabriel and Tomoe decided she had to go.

(It's painfully, I-was-ugly-crying-over-it obvious in Conformation that Gabriel is fully prepared to let Nathalie die - in the original storyboard, her alliance was encouraging her to sleep, and he's very obviously prepared for this moment - I've made a separate post about it that I'll link if I can find it. However, onto the next bit)

With all of this, there's one thing that sticks out to me - Nathalie didn't see any of it until it was already too late. There could be many reasons for this. But you know who would have seen through it? Whose parents were all loving and perfect until she married the wrong man? Emilie. Emilie, who left behind those videos, which on the surface look innocent, but when you look deeper look like a (love confession???????) AHEM a warning. I reckon Emilie noticed what was going on and realised that Nathalie wouldn't see through Gabriel, so she left those videos addressed to Nathalie (not Gabriel, which surely they should have been - they were about him, after all - unless they were there...) as a warning. I don't think the videos were supposed to be about helping Gabriel, I think Emilie was warning Nathalie to get the fuck out of that house, and to take Adrien with her. Because Emilie knew it'd end like this.

Yes I'm still mad ok give me a break.

[thatrandomlemononyourcounter1]

Aren't best friends supposed to listen?

[meownotgood]

it's just not my week so far..........

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

i'm sorry i'm not being fun enough on my personal blog which is the only place on the internet i get to just be a person and not have to be professional because it's the only place my colleagues and employers don't follow me but also i'm not sorry because sometimes being grumpy is part of being human and i'm so goddamn tired of having to perform perfection on the internet

[prettymediocrewizard]

unfortunate that I see it's apparently yaoi day and I have nothing new to show for it. I'll make up for it soon (ˉ▽ˉ；)...

however I'm gonna reblog some old stuff just for the occasion. So sorry to pop up a bunch lol

[hissterical-nyaan]

They ask why I'm always stuck on my phone, scrolling for hours and hours reading squiggly text on my phone

But they don't know it's what keeps me alive.... imagining myself in all this pain but in this phone I have people to comfort or mourn me. It gives me a glimpse of what could be....what I lost....what was never meant to be mine in this world to begin with

[abri-chan]

Okay I'm going to say something and not tie to what I saw on Twitter. It is about certain ships. I've seen hate on bleach ships in general, particularly shunnao recently. And people went and dug up old Tumblr posts from when the manga was still ongoing to call these fans delulu.

Here's my two cents:

(1) if shunnao fans are delulu, so are juushun fans, or sword x Shunsui fans, or whatever. In that, in canon, he's one-sided in love with his sister in law. Now does this matter? Not at all, because shippers will ship based on chemistry and what characters they like. I find it unfair that juushun fans who were hated on from men a few weeks back on Twitter not jump on the bandwagon to hate other bleach ships, as though they're not the same fanon boat.

(2) Why are you calling out old Tumblr posts? These posts were made as the manga was ongoing. These shunnao fans didn't know the two were related. Kubo has written omake where Nanao has a love confession for him. He has had Shunsui flirt with her in the past. It's unfair to call these fans out for something they didn't know as Kubo dropped the bomb at the end, and call them all sorts of things like incest supporters. When many of these fans deactivated as a result. Or deleted their works. (With regards to work deletion, I don't think it is fair we demand someone takes down all their works because their ship turned out incest; I think it is their right to maintain that they did that work under a different set of knowledge and they have the right to intellectual creativity as any of us. I think that is why many of shunnao fans say "if they weren't related". Because they don't find it fair they must delete everything now or the contribution they made to the fandom.)

***

No OP does not condone incest. Does it mean fiction doesn't have a place for incest? It does, but I don't trust men to write it; but I trust women. It doesn't matter as most of these fans didn't know it was incest and stopped writing after it became incest.

No OP also did not read the story as a shunnao ship. I read bleach backwards as the suicide theater part and Shunsui's unrequited love made me want to read the whole manga. So I read it when I had all the facts, and could clearly see the whole story. Shunnao fans didn't, they read it chapter by chapter as the story was ongoing. They formed the ships early on, perhaps even early on in age (shunnao is a very age 12 kind of ship in regards to attraction to older experienced men imo), and it's hard to swerve once you're committed to a ship, even if now you are older. I always saw them as family because of how Shunsui patronizes Nanao. But that doesn't mean people cannot read the same story differently.

And it doesn't matter what "morality" credentials OP has to make this point, because I don't have the right to impose on anyone of what to ship, and most people have coherent reasons as to why they ship and they can find evidence in the canon for that. Unfortunately shunnao was also one of the few f/m ships that had weight in the fandom, which is inundated by m/m ships mostly. (I pray for f/f ships but alas we know how that statistics goes.) The point is, you cannot hide behind morality in pushing your fanon ship over another, just when you were attacked for said ship by "canon" people. And even then, the point of fandom is to give something new, a different spin, hence why canon is also not as important: it's a starting point and people go and experiment from there. And yes, I would condone shunnao art or fics even if it were incest, in the sense that, I would not know how the story treats the topic without reading it. Is it fetishizing it? Fiction is always a space to deal with uncomfortable truths, so hiding behind morality is the same as antis. (What I mean is, I defend their right to ship it.)

[daz4i]

i really truly genuinely cannot go one (1) day without wanting to die

[someprettyname]

Isagi save me isagi

[sealeneee]

siiiiiiigh

[vile-wizard]

I need to clean my room now. It is dire.

[jacksmusesdrv3]

Okay this is gonna really chafe on my brain if I don't get it out

For the love of fuck please! Stop! Countering peoples' 'objective' reasonings with self-stated 'objective' ones of your own. You're no more 'objective' than the person you're countering when you do this, what your goal should be is to remind them that their perspective isn't objective. And what you fail to understand is that a lot of the 'objective' perspective you have is full of subjective assumptions. That's kind of how understanding language and motivations works.

Like. Someone just tried to argue that Ouma 'isn't mentally-off in the Salmon mode like he is in the game mode', but the way they chose to address that is rooted in the assumption that he was 'totally happy' with Shuichi in the former. Except where I'm standing, his comments were dripping with sarcasm a good bit of the time. Yes, including that 'cute' one about searching in the trash. Even Shuichi has noted more than once that Ouma's remarks sound weird or even backhanded.

While his comments might sound playful and harmless to you, they can also be harsh, unsettling, and depending on your perspective, these can even be justified in his character. Isn't the whole point of Ouma not having a simple character to unpack that he and his background can be seen differently depending on how you look at him and his lies? Because this isn't just about his ingame persona!

[makerofmadness]

I'm just. Fudging. *family guy death pose*