#i'm so sad to not be close to the fandom :') i wish i could have fun with everyone else

[awriterinthenight]

"Well I Missed You Too."-Megumi Fushiguro

words: 946

warnings: kissing, megumi makes reader sad, that's it also i'm trying writing for a new fandom so enjoy

summary: How Megumi changes how he shows affection to you

Whether it was kissing, hugging, or even just holding your hand, Megumi was always too shy to show you affection in public. He'd do small acts like buying your favorite snack from the vending machines, or grabbing something out of your reach. But never did he do anything that involved touching you in any way, since it made him blush, and he didn't want people, especially Gojo, teasing him about how red his face got.

You'd first learned about his aversion to PDA when you first started dating. You were training with the 2nd years, when Itadori had taken a nasty hit from Maki. While you knew he was fine, it still worried you, so your hand instinctively grabbed Megumi's without thinking. When you were in private he always held you in some way, so you thought he'd be ok with this.

Instead of him grabbing your hand back or squeezing it comfortably. He immediately froze and stiffened at the contact, his face turning bright red. He dropped your hand, turning away so you couldn't see his face. You were left confuse as to what you did wrong. Maybe he just didn't expect it, or maybe he didn't think you needed to grab his hand. Either way it brought down your mood for the day.

Megumi knew you weren't ok, no matter how many times you said you were fine. He knew that wasn't a good sign. So there Megumi was after school standing in front of your door knocking. After a minute or two you swung your door open, Megumi speaking before you could.

"Did I do something?" he asked, his head hung low, surprising for someone usually so stoic.

You were shocked for a moment before regaining your composure, letting Megumi into your room, and closing the door behind you.

"Yes, well no," you stumbled, unable to find your words, "It's just, when you dropped my hand I-I felt bad. I thought I did something wrong," you admitted.

Megumi let out a breath, taking a step closer to you, "I didn't mean to make you feel like that. I like holding your hand, I swear. I just don't like being like that in front of people."

"I understand that," you said, nodding your head, "I just wish you'd told me, so I wouldn't have felt so embarrassed."

Megumi placed a kiss on the top of your head before he spoke, "I'm sorry, and I promise I will from now on."

Affection from Megumi shifted a bit the more you knew each other. Of course really all the kissing took place in private, or anything really affectionate. But slowly Megumi didn't mind holding your hand in front of your guy's friends, or placing a small kiss on the top of your head.

Megumi started to grow into the habit of either placing his arm around the back of your chair, or keeping his hand on your thigh. The more he was with you, the more he liked knowing that you were with him.

Recently he seemed to grow out of his shy shell. Before training started he would sometimes come up behind you, placing his hands on your waist, then planting a kiss on the top of your head. Sometimes he'd casually walk up behind you when you were talking to someone, and he would snake his arm around your waist.

Today he'd come back from a mission with Itadori and Kugasaki. You'd been forced to stay behind, recovering from an injury of a past mission. The second he saw you, he pulled you into his arms, burying your head into his chest. He'd missed you so much on the mission all he thought about was going back to you. His hand slid through your hair, the other holding you tightly against him.

"Is everything okay? Did something happen?" you asked, concerned since he never showed this much affection in front of people. Gojo was only a few feet away, and usually Megumi hated showing affection to you in front of Gojo, since he always got teased for it.

Megumi shook his head, tilting your chin forward, "No, nothing happened. I just missed you," he confessed.

"Oh," you exclaimed, surprised he was like this from just missing you, "Well I missed you too."

Unfortunately Gojo's loud voice ruined the moment when he shouted, "Get a room," before practically skipping over to the two of you. Megumi scowled, while you shook your head, finding his antics funny.

"So, I was thinking," Gojo said, swinging an arm around you two, and walking with you, "Why don't I treat you guys to dinner. By that I mean you two can go out and I'll pay," he offered, chuckling a bit for some reason no one understood.

Megumi rolled his eyes, "I don't need you to pay. I'm staying in tonight, I'm too tired to go out."

"I try to do something nice and I get denied. If you don't want me and my money I'll just leave," Gojo muttered, walking away from you too.

Megumi slid his arm around your waist, leaning on you a bit. He was tired and just wanted to sleep and rest. Eventually you and him got to his dorm, lying down on his bed.

It was quiet till Megumi broke the silence, "I'm too tired to take you out tonight, but I'll take you on a date tomorrow," he said, his voice barely a whisper, "I really did miss you."

You snuggled closer to him, wrapped up in his arms, "I missed you too, and I can't wait." You gave him a small kiss before falling asleep to the sound of his breathing

Ask to be added to taglist, I'm keeping this one separate from my other one

[reallyromealone]

Rome you know I'm gonna need a part 2 to that zoro x reader x sanji right cause I can't let that slide😊

Title: goodbye love

Fandom: one piece

Characters: Zoro, Sanji

Fic type: angst

Pairings: Zoro x sanji

Warnings: male reader, reader insert, angst, aggressive conversation, sad reader

Notes:

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

(name) hummed as he stocked bread in a small bakery, it had been five months since he left and he felt lighter and happier since the breakup. He was far from the island they docked from, getting a job easily at a bakery in a small coastal town.

Occasionally he wondered how his now ex boyfriends were, how they reacted to the letter... Were they sad? Angry? Did they even care? (Name) Didn't know and slowly stopped caring. He was starting fresh, leaving the pirate life to have something more domestic and stable though getting used to land was a bit tough.

"(Name), you work too much, go home early" the elderly bakery owner said softly, her cane tapping against the old wood with each step "are you sure? I don't mind being here" (name) asked her, (bakery owner) chuckled as she led him out "the rush is over, not many people will come today"

"Alright, but just get one of the kids to get me if it gets busy"

"Yes yes, now go!"

(Name) Chuckled as he was kicked out of the store, she was old but strong.

'with this extra time, might as well grab some stuff from the market' he thought as he went back to his place to grab some bags and coin, the walk calm and the gulls squawked as they flew overhead, the town was on the side of a huge hill, winding and full of turns, small but popular. It was perfect.

His apartment was small, he was surprised to have a one bedroom, a fireplace for cooking and even a bit of space for seating. His bed was the most expensive thing he owned, he saw it at the market and immediately got it. It was a futon, comfiest thing he ever slept on and he even got pillows. It was pricy but thankfully he had a fair amount of coin from his previous employment.

He only slept on wood or a hammock.

It was a nice adjustment.

The market was the biggest thing beside the town square, many vendors and travellers in and out selling everything and anything one could need.

(Name) Loved getting fruits from other places, one a trip as a treat for himself, today he got something called an apple, typically he's used to mango and jackfruit on this island so it was a nice change.

(Name) Made a few purchases, important house things and a few little trinkets for himself.

A book from a far away land.

An apple.

Some sewing needles and thread as he wished to learn to sew better.

And finally, a little music box.

It was nothing fancy but the sound it played reminded him of childhood, his mother would hum a tune quite similar to it.

What he didn't expect to see was a familiar boat.

"Shit" (name) immediately rushed home, he wasn't ready to face anything at the moment and definitely not with how he left.

(Name) Was shaking as he got inside, glancing out the window of his apartment to see if they are close to his home, irrational be knew but he had to check. Thankfully the street just had a few passersby and no strawhats. He would have to avoid anywhere that sold alcohol for a while, most restaurants and thankfully he was off for the next few days so he didn't have to go to the bakery. (Name) Looked at his collection of books and the sewing supplies and sighed happily.

Guess he has to stay inside and do the things he enjoy.

What a shame.

(Name) Spent the day doing his hobbies as a tiny radio played music in the corner, thankfully this small town had a radio station so he could enjoy some sound.

Knock knock knock.

(Name) Was engrossed in his quilt as he looked up curiously, setting his project down to go down to answer the door, a staircase down to the front door "hello (name), I thought you would enjoy some bread" his boss said kindly and handed him a basket of breads and a few muffins "ah thanks boss, that's real kind of you" the two made small talk casually, the elderly woman happy he's starting a new project "I have some sewing supplies at my home, I'm to old to use them but you can have them" the woman ushered him to follow and (name) realized he would have to leave his house.

Shit.

Silently begrudgingly he followed her, the woman excited to have someone take the supplies.

Then he smelt it half way to the bakery, cigarettes and fresh made food.

"(Name)?" He didn't turn around as his boss looked back curious, Sanji staring at his ex in awe.

(Name) Looked different.

Glowing, lighter and most of all; happier.

(Name) Turned to see his ex and sighed "hello Sanji" this is why he didn't want to go outside, his ex boyfriend looking hurt at the lack of sweet names for him, stopping closer he saw the uncomfortable expression wash over him "Luffy is gone to go get some food, have you.... (Name)" Zoro halted, staring at (name) like salvation.

(Name) Was startled at how awful the two looked, like they barely slept and sanji looked almost dead inside "can we talk?" His voice gravelly with exhaustion and (name) looked to his boss who smiled "we can talk later, you do what you need to do"

And that's how (name) ended up with the two in his apartment "So what do you guys want" (name) said less of a question and more of a demand, clearly uncomfortable "seems you settled down nice" Zoro commented as he looked at the homey space "I have" (name) stared at them unimpressed "why did you leave?" Sanji finally spoke up and the room grew more tense.

"I couldn't stay any longer, not with you two"

"Why?!" Zoro snapped and (name) had enough "because you two didn't care!" (Name) Fired back angrily "you two acted like I didn't exist! Flirting with women and ignoring me to do anything else! Who in their right mind WOULD WANT THAT! DID YOU EVEN LOVE ME?!"

It was silent as (name) heaved out a dog "I gave you two everything! And I get cheating and neglect!"

The two pirates barely had time to react as (name) lost his shit on them "why didn't you love me?" (Name) Finally asked, shaking and angry "why was it never me? You two showed more love to women and fucking swords than me!"

"I-im sorry..." Sanji whispered and (name) looked him in the eye "then why did you look at Nami in a way that you could never look at me?"

Zoro fidgeted, knowing he was next and in a rare moment... He was nervous.

"And why was I not worth spending time with?" There it was "you come here demanding to speak with me yet the time we dated you couldn't even be bothered to do the most basic of things with me"

"(Name)--"" I think you two should leave" (name) finally said "I have no interest in this conversation anymore... Goodbye "

"(Name) Come on-"" leave now, I'm begging you"

The two sorrowfully walk down the stairs, unable to get a word in as the door slammed behind them.

And at that moment they truly realized.

They lost (name).

[wheelinggay-stormpilotobsessed]

My personal opinions about the episode that absolutely no one has to agree with but that I'm sharing anyway:

1. They were in character.

It's been two weeks. That's about the time when the "weird stage" of grief starts settling in. This is the time where it makes perfect sense for people to be out of character anyway, which I don't think they were. This is the "I seem perfectly fine, I can still have moments of happiness but I might be triggered by the most random things and start crying all over again" time.

Buck: he was told by Bobby that the team was gonna need him. What could be more in character than him forcing himself to be strong in front of the others so that they could rely on him? Being selfless to his own detriment? Yeah, that's Buck. (He even stress baked crumpets, come on!)

Athena: throwing herself into work trying to shutter the grief and ignoring the others until she needs an intervention and then snaps? Yep, that's Athena.

Eddie: quiet and broody but almost normal acting around a character (Ravi) that he isn't as close to as Buck and therefore isn't as emotionally open with? Yeah, welcome to Eddie.

Chimney: anger outburst saying things he doesn't necessarily mean but his goal is to push people away, and then later feeling all depressive and needing someone to break him out of it and allow the vent that he desperately needed? Normal Chimney

Hen: "I need to be there for the boys"? That's such a Hen thing to say, and her sobbing right before leaving for the funeral was also very much in character.

Maddie was also very normal to me.

I don't have a good enough feel for Karen or Ravi's characters to judge whether they were in character or not.

2. The acting was incredible.

Angela and Kenny alone make this episode deserve so much more than the 1/10 review bombing that it's getting. Plus everyone was quiet and subdued and sad. I swear I could feel Eddie's sadness and exhaustion just from looking at him. Ryan's so good at subtle body language that says more than Eddie's words.

3. The baby sub plot is not mocking the fandom.

I'm sorry but that's just fucking ridiculous. It was written and shot before Lab Rats aired. They didn't air Lab Rats, wait to see the reaction, and then write and shoot an entire subplot in less than two weeks for the sole purpose of being a dick to the audience. Please be serious.

4. Yes, the baby subplot was arguably unnecessary.

Denial is the first stage. The entire point was that Athena was bottling her grief. She was ignoring funeral planning, ignoring her friends and family's concerns because she didn't want to face it because she is grieving.

The point of "the baby is actually dead" was to make her accept that she needed to be involved and start talking about the funeral. Remember how the mom was too grief stricken to plan her baby's funeral and because of that couldn't accept the loss? It wasn't trying to foreshadow Bobby not being dead. It was a plot device for acceptance. Could they have used something different, and better? Yes, sure. Absolutely they could have. But it's not an attack on the fandom, it was just a bad writing decision.

5. This isn't the Buddie show

I ship Buddie. I want Buddie to happen. But the show doesn't actually revolve around it. Yes, I wish there was a reunion scene, yes I'm sad that there wasn't one, but in the grand scheme of things, it just wasn't important enough of a scene to film. This isn't their first conversation since Bobby's death, and Eddie's back for the worst possible reason. It was never gonna be the happy reunion scene that people want.

6. What I Wish Happened:

I wish this was closer to Bobby's death than a two week time skip. I wish we had seen Eddie's reaction to learning about his death. I wish the funeral had been in the middle, not the end. I wish there hadn't been that subplot.

7. The Minnesota part was beautiful and heart wrenching and so fucking good.

A+ writing and acting.

8. I don't know how to feel about the "script leak."

Guys... It was April Fool's Day. You know, the day when you should basically believe absolutely nothing that you read/see. Also wasn't mocking the fandom either, since it was long before Bobby's death. That being said, was it necessary? Not at all. Was it kinda shitty? Yeah.

Also, like, maybe the scene is a nightmare? Maybe they're still doing it? Maybe it's Maddie's nightmare and Chim has to comfort her thus opening up his own feelings so they could talk about it together?

Regarding the promo, we have no idea what the emotional parts of the episode are gonna be about. Which is pretty normal? The promos usually focus on the disasters, on the flashy stuff, and usually not interpersonal relationships. I think this will be the Eddie moves back episode, I really do.

This fandom usually analyzes every single little moment, so maybe we all need to take a breath and just... think about the episode a little more deeply than face value?

I get why people are upset, I get why people are frustrated at the writing and are yelling at Tim. I also wish the episode had been different. But this was not a 2.2/10 episode. (IMDB rating) It just wasn't. That's so unfair to all the work the cast did, all the work the crew did. The processional scene was really cool with all the fire trucks lined up and down the street and the huge hanging flag. That wasn't easy work. They went all out for that.

This was not as bad as people are making it out to be. It really wasn't. I would personally rate it at a solid 5/10. Angela and Kenneth gave freaking Emmy worthy performances and they deserve better than review bombing.

[cantareincminor]

Fandom Wrapped (Reader Edition) 2024!

Thanks to the wonderful @kattyelf for creating this template! Links and detailed reviews under the cut.

Disclaimer: I probably read hundreds of SxF fics in the past year, and it was not easy to choose which ones to put in the list above (or below)! This fandom is full of wonderful, friendly creators and I am so glad to be part of it. I also had to narrow it down to only the ones I read and reread in 2024, not 2022 or 2023. Finally...I also happened to read many good fics only once. Sometimes a fic is just too painful or sad to reread, especially if it's not finished.

Favorite fic and author: After peace by @unhappy-sometimes!

I could gush about unso for a whole post and not be done, but I will try to contain myself. Her fic After peace originated from an AU comic she drew where Twilight was forced to retire early due a major injury, and drifted aimlessly until WISE asked him to take care of an orphan they had rescued from Project Apple. There are several things that amazed me about this fic and cemented it in first place for 2024:

The premise. It was original and so full of potential.

How personal Twilight's journey felt to me. I didn't have a life-threatening injury, but I did put my career on hiatus in the past year and have often struggled with questions of -- what am I worth when I'm not "doing" anything? I was so used to going 150% in the rat race and coming out on top at great personal cost to health and family; even if all that was bad, how else can I get that sense of accomplishment? How can I stop wanting that sense of accomplishment?

Her style, which is both vivid AND concise. The fic was around 22K words if I remember correctly, with a well-constructed plot, character arcs, plenty of emotional beats, and a satisfying resolution. I often wonder if my writing is too verbose and when I see something like After peace, it challenges me to do better.

THIS WAS UNSO'S FIRST FIC EVER. THE HELL. It's like a freshman album that gets put up for a Grammy.

Fic(s) I reread (plus runners-up):

That Time Yor Seriously Thought About Leaving by peonydee: This is a WIP with one more chapter before completion, I believe. Peonydee's style is unique in how it's hard-hitting and disarming at the same time. Yor and Twilight find themselves in impossible situations, their relationship tested to the limit (and one of them in a close brush with death), yet there's still an undercurrent of wry humor, almost fatalistic due to the fact both of them have been steeped in death and dirty work for decades, yet still hopeful and reaching for each other. I also cackle every time she makes Twilight go off on a mansplaining tangent without ever using the term outright. A masterpiece of show not tell.

Is It Really All Right? by zyzy1083: This one is tender. A jealous!Loid fic with a fascinating portrayal of Loid from Yor's perspective. The imagery of a dark sea choking down any true thought or emotion from breaking for air will stay with me for a long time. There's also the fact she basically made up lyrics for an indie song as part of the plot and I had to ask whether it was a real song. Finally, there's the fact she was bold enough to portray Loid as less than a perfect, kind, smiley husband toward Yor, but in a believable way. He snaps at Yor at times. He loses his patience. It feels like a real relationship, in the awkward tension when one partner wants to talk and the other absolutely does not want to talk. I admire that courage and wish more authors would take that risk (calling myself out I guess!).

Green-eyed Monster by bigbruja: another jealous!Loid fic that's lighthearted and fun. This is a comfort reread. I enjoy seeing Loid recognize the threat of a supposed "old friend" of Yor's, questioning his own feelings and how far he needs to go to fend this guy off. The guy is a Garden assassin, unbeknownst to him. I also love Yor's own inner struggle of just wanting everyone to get along, but showing steel when she needs to.

dalliance by rosetintednerdglasses: this is a WIP, but it is HILARIOUS and I hope everyone will go encourage this author to pick this fic back up when they have a chance. TLDR, Twilight (in disguise) is sent on a joint mission with Thorn Princess and flips out internally when he sees it's Yor. Handler then orders him to ensure Thorn Princess continues to cooperate. So as Twilight, he has to sort-of honey trap Thorn Princess, while as Loid he has to keep Yor happy. Poor Yor believes she's torn between two different men and close to cheating on Loid! Situational hilarity all over the place, and fun world-building, like this other WISE agent randomly named "Steel Bunny" (LOL).

Not According to Plan by @kyrathel: love you girl! This is a gift fic for me, but that's not the reason I reread it (even though it's a WIP as well!). It's SO FUNNY. Twilight gets it in his overly anxious head that he MUST defend his wife from the bullies at City Hall, so what does he do? HE INFILTRATES CITY HALL AS A NEW FEMALE HIRE. The world absolutely needs more petty!Twilight! The latest chapter features laxative brownies. Enough said.

Let's start living dangerously by @beannoss: I specifically reread the later parts when dumb Twilight gets over his dumbness and finally talks to Yor! And they kiss again! I love the way huhwaku (beannoss) portrays overthinking Twilight AND overthinking Yor. And also, the simplicity of Yor at the same time. The voice she uses for both of them is refreshing, it really puts you in the mindset of the character. Yor's giggles ("teehee!") as she teases Twilight about his little perfectionist habits are a cute touch to a gentle, heartwarming fic about these two highly competent professionals just starting to take baby steps in how to be competent at a relationship.

Fic that made me emotional:

100% Perfect by @sometimesiship. Where do I begin? How about with the gut aversion I initially had to the premise of a futuristic AI dating bot AU, due to all the tragic, dark AI movies I have watched? But as it neared completion, someone convinced me to give it a try and I AM SO GLAD I DID. You can see my gushing comments in almost every chapter. The development of the relationship between human Yor and AI Loid is so natural, funny at times, poignant always, and beautifully written, even though from an objective standpoint not much exciting stuff happens (I mean canon-typical excitement like murders and spy missions). Sometimesiship has a way of describing emotion that is so raw -- she can portray the same emotion a dozen different ways with analogies and setups and dialogue and whatever -- and it still doesn't feel old. And the emotion that dominated the second half of the story was grief. Basically the grief of loving someone you know you're going to lose. Like being the spouse of a terminal cancer patient. I didn't cry while reading, but it was a closer call than I have had in a VERY long time. So much beauty and humanity in this story. And spoiler (?), it's a happy ending. So I hope you all go check it out!

That's a wrap! If you read this far, stay tuned for a Writer version of Fandom Wrapped 2024!

[burningcheese-merchant]

youll be fine merchant, after all i follow you because i like you saying things, you make things interesting in a way, im not sure how to describe it, but what i do want to say is that you dont need to feel that way, u doing fine and i hope you continue doing fine

I'm grateful for your kind words. I really am. I'm touched you took the time to say something to me. But... Idk.

I'm feeling very raw today. I want to be totally real just once. Just this one time. No sarcasm or joking around like I usually do. Be my therapist/blank wall to whom I address my words of woe for a minute. Then we can all go back to normal after that

I've been having a major crisis of self-confidence lately. Been feeling stupid. Useless. Good for nothing. Probably just the Big Sad talking but that guy hasn't shut up for an awfully long time and he's harder to tune out on some days

Writing was always an escape for me. A form of catharsis. I'm actually quite terrible at speaking to people irl. I'm very shy and awkward. Social anxiety on steroids. I always expressed myself better in writing as opposed to spoken words. Idk it just feels a lot less stifling to me. I feel more free. Less judged. More in control of my thoughts. If that makes any sense.

Bit the bullet and started posting fics on AO3 just to indulge myself. Never really expected to get any attention. There was a ship I liked and there weren't really any fics for it, so I became the change I wished to see in the world. That was all it was. You want something done right, do it your damn self.

Wrote more. Different things with different characters and different ideas. Gained a lot more traction. Caught another bullet in my teeth and made this blog. People seem to like my ideas for some reason. I start to think "hey. Maybe I really am a good writer."

Then I took a few story-shaped sledgehammers to the skull and remembered that no, I'm not. Lol.

Comparison is the thief of joy. I know that. Nobody needs to remind me. But it's easier said than practiced. Read biscuitlabyrinth's stuff and felt like a fraud. Read Jambound and felt like a skyscraper-sized fraud. It's hard not to compare yourself to others when the "others" are practically hailed as heroes by the fandom. When there are mountains upon mountains of fanart happily illustrating their work. When their story has the most hits and the most kudos and the most comments and the most bookmarks in the entire Cookie Run tag on AO3, and only receives more every passing day. When there are people who want to bind the fic and make it an actual, physical book, because they love it so much. No one has ever said or done any of that for me or my stuff. Never got even a fraction of that love or attention. Not even close. And I never, ever will.

Yeah yeah. Two cakes. Everyone has said that to me. But if you all had to choose. If you could only eat one cake while the other one went straight to the trash. You wouldn't pick mine, would you? You'd pick the other one. You'd pick Jambound. Everyone would. Even my friends on here would. Why bother wasting time and ingredients baking the thing if you know that's how it's going to be? What's the point?

I know I'm not owed success. Nobody is. It's earned. It just... hurts, I guess. It hurts to feel compelled to doubt yourself so strongly after finally allowing yourself to believe you've done a good job at something for once in your life. To feel like even when I try, even when I put my best foot forward, it's not good enough. Nobody actually cares. No one will ever think of you like they think of those other people and their work. No one will think of you at all. You're just a sad little wannabe loser, wallowing in their shadows.

I don't blame those people for these feelings. I don't blame anyone except myself. To think or do otherwise would be childish. No one is responsible for making me feel inferior/inadequate besides me. I accept that these thought and feelings are foolish. Whiny. Unfair. No one should pay them any mind. I'll sort through them on my own.

It's stupid, all of this. Oh no, some person's fanfiction is more popular than yours. Boo hoo. It's the end of the world. Stupid. It's all stupid. And yet, the feelings persist. It sucks. I don't want to feel this way. I'd rather just forget about it all and go back to being the loser who was content just writing for herself and nobody else, really. I don't look good in green, that's for sure lol. But it's hard. It's hard to let go of something that's got its jaws clenched around your neck so tight. Waiting for you to stop fighting and bleed out before it can finish its meal.

I always thought that writing was the only thing I was ever good at. That I was ever good for. Learned the hard way that that's not true. That my best was never anything but mediocre in reality. It's really no wonder Jambound is as beloved as it is. It's wonderful. Fantastic. It deserves all the praise it gets. I wish I could write half as well as that. But I don't. And now sometimes I wonder if anyone would even notice, even if I did.

I'm not happy writing anymore. Feels like it got snatched from me. The thing I love, that always brought me a measure of peace no matter how depressed I got. Gone. I can't draw worth a damn. I'm not funny. I'm not that smart. I never thought I had anything to give anyone except my writing. Now I understand that I don't have that, either. My cake sucks. No wonder everyone would rather eat theirs.

I'll get over it eventually. I'm stubborn if nothing else at all. I've got stories to tell and finish, even if they'll never mean anything to anyone except myself. Might as well. For my own sake.

There. Said my piece. Poured my miserable little heart out. Let's not talk about this anymore. Go back to enjoying the fancy, professional cake and celebrating the talented baker. Leave me to my cracked countertop covered in stale flour and rotten eggs and bland frosting. I never said anything worth listening to. I'm not sure I ever have.

No more self-pity after this, back to being a silly bozo as usual. Thanks for reading all this gunk if you bothered to for whatever reason. Y'all have a nice day. Better than mine, hopefully

[bluginkgo]

Ep 8 Thoughts and Details Part 2

Some thoughts and details I had while watching ep8, and some parallels I found. And yes, I had to split this into 2 parts because Tumblr said "fack you, you can only upload 30 images :P"

Spoilers, duh

Didn't see part 1? Here it is, cause Tumblr doesn't like more than 30 images per post TwT

OMG YOU SILLY GOOBERS, AND THE WAY UZI INCLUDED V DESPITE V NOT EVEN WANTING TO BE PART OF IT TwT

As much as this entire scene was tense about Uzi eating the AS and becoming fused with it- this frame, this facking frame killed me XD Just the D: WHAT ARE YOU DOING- WHY DID YOU DO THAT- I could hear it clearly XD

Could probably be me looking too far into it, but another call back from Liam's first teaser of Murder Drones.

As many people as I have seen being upset with how this reunion turned out to be, I found it adorable and funny. Khan has no idea what that thing even is. And the fact that Nori isn't as cool and serious as she was made out to be in all of the flashback scenes and ep7 is that much more endearing. The angsty side of her is still there, much like Uzi's personality of not really liking close heart to heart moments.

KHAN IS NARUTO RUNNING???? XD

Originally pointed out by @/observer on twitter and absolute scoliosis lives on XD As well as the T-rex stance <:3

God forbid I love this trio. They've been through so much and still came out victorious after fighting a whole ass eldritch being capable of eating planets. V still V but softer and kinder, N still N but more willing to stand up for himself, and Uzi still Uzi and angsty rebellious teen that has an awesome new eye style and friends and family.

"Forget about all of this instantly, get tunnel visioned on spooky corpse robot reveal. Work backwards from there."

You know, I had a silly thought. I wouldn't even be mad that this is how Murder Drones came to be. That Liam's idea of Murder Drones started with the reveal of Cynessa entity and then worked backwards from there- creating the characters to surround the event instead of starting with say Uzi's personality, etc.

VIZZY MY BELOVED WHAT-

You know what... you know WHAT I SAW THIS SOMEWHERE-

Proceeds to connect the dots that aren't even there (Murder Drones Intermission by @/ghoulinfuschia)

But hey, that's what my brain loves to do. But funny how it turned out to be somewhat similar XD Perhaps the context was different but the fact that my brain said "hm, yes, you connect this here and that there." and I just rolled with it TwT

Overall, I genuinely loved the entire episode and, of course, the series. I'm eternally grateful for Liam creating this masterpiece and for every person that took part in creating Murder Drones. This show was the hyperfixation I needed, the thing that I've craved since being in the fandom that I had been for the longest time prior. I'm sad to see this show end so soon, but all great things must come to an end. And I'm glad I was here to see it, even if I was here since ep6 only TwT Either way, I will be haunting this fandom with my presence for a little longer while. Many projects I want to see happen, comics I wish to share, and friends I wish to meet. Until then, see you later >:P

Have a cookie for making it this far XD 🍪

[shall-we-die]

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{Zero}

What do they do/say in your dying moments?

╞•⊰❖⊱•═══•༻🪦༺•═══•⊰❖⊱•╡

↬[Fandom]•⊰ {Moriarty the Patriot}࿐

↬[Warnings]•⊰ {Angst}࿐

☰[Main list]•⊰ ────┈┈{0075}┈─╮

╭──────┈┈┈┈┈───────╯

╰┈➤Likes/Reblogs are appreciated࿐

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↬|William|

He would probably apologize for any pain or suffering he caused them, expressing regret for any mistakes or hurtful things he did in the past. He would express his love and gratitude for them, letting them know how much he cares about them and how important they were to him. He might also try to reassure them and ease their pain, trying to give them comfort and support during his last moments.

┣━━━━━━━━━━━━━┅┅┅┄┄

↬|Albert|

He'd be doing anything he could to make them more comfortable, or to try and stop their bleeding. He'd most likely say something like; "No, no, no.. Y-you can't go, please don't go.. don't leave me like this. W-we have so much to do together, so please.. please don't die. Stay with me. You can't leave me...Please."

┣━━━━━━━━━━━━━┅┅┅┄┄

↬|Louis|

In his final moments with his s/o, he would hold them close and tell them that they mean everything to him. He would apologize for everything and express his love for them one last time. He would try to remain calm and composed for their sake, but deep down inside he would be terrified and full of regret that he would no longer be able to spend time with them.

┣━━━━━━━━━━━━━┅┅┅┄┄

↬|Sebastian|

Sebastian would likely say something along the lines of, "I love you. I've always loved you." He would likely try to hold his S/O's hand and tell them that everything will be okay, even though he knows deep down that it won't. He would likely apologize for any pain or trauma he has caused them, and try to express how much they've meant to him. He would likely have a sad smile on his face, knowing that he can stop them from leaving.

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↬|Sherlock|

He tries to act nonchalant about it, to keep up his usual, sarcastic attitude, but he becomes more tender and affectionate as he realizes the end is near. He'll try to comfort his s/o. He keeps them in his arms and holds them close to him. He tries to say all the things he didn't have the time to say before. Apologize for any mistakes, and tell them how much he loves them.

"You were the best thing that ever happened to me."

┣━━━━━━━━━━━━━┅┅┅┄┄

↬|John|

"I'm so glad I met you."

He would hold their hand, looking at them with a mixture of pain and love in his eyes, and try to memorize every detail of their face.

"I wish we had more time together."

||[🅉ero]||

━●━━━━━━────────

     ⇆ㅤㅤ◁🅈ㅤㅤ❚❚ㅤㅤ☰ㅤㅤ↻

[rin-fukuroi]

𝐎𝐟 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐩𝐚𝐲 𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐞… 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 [𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐝𝐞]

Please do not translate or publish my works without my permission.

The originals of my works can be read here

Fandom: Honkai: Star Rail

Pairings: maid!Blade??? x fem!reader

Warnings: NSFW, oral sex, spanking, cokworming, delaying orgasm.

Note: English is not my native language, so I apologize if there are errors in the text qq

It just so happened that today is my birthday, so I decided to please both you and myself with a little yummy. I may have been on Tumblr not so long ago, but in fact I have been writing for quite a long time and it will never cease to bring me pleasure, so I'm incredibly happy that I can now share my creativity with others. This is the best gift I can imagine ( 〃▽〃) I hope my texts in english are at least a little closer to what I write in the original, and you don't experience discomfort while reading. Bon appetit!<3

— Everything is absolutely honest! We had an argument, or have you already forgotten? — you smile slyly, poking Blade's nose into his sad and bitter defeat.

He clears his throat, seemingly confused, looking at the menacingly red inscription «Defeat» on the screen of his smartphone.

— When did you learn to play so well?

— Ahem! — you're pouting. — How dare you, I always beat you. Well, almost…

— Did you play with the Silver Wolf?

Your lips open before you find something to say. His insight is so annoying sometimes.

— I-it doesn't matter! The main thing is that now you can start fulfilling my wish, as we agreed.

Blade sighs resignedly, throwing the phone on the table and crossing his arms over his chest.

— Just don't be silly.

— Hey! There was no such condition, I can wish anything I want.

Blade's lips pursed, his eyes closed, as he mentally cursed the minute he signed up for this stupid argument.

— Just don't even think about shirking your obligations anymore, justifying yourself by saying that your wounds haven't healed yet. I fell for it once, but it won't work twice! — you pout your lips and put your fists on your sides, giving your offended expression on your face a bit of severity. — So, I want to…

✧ ✧ ✧

— Where did you even get… this?

Blade discontentedly lifts up the hem of a long black dress along with a white apron, looking with disgust at the mesh tights hugging his legs while you are messing around from behind, helping him tighten the black satin bow on his back. You could have chosen anything as punishment, but he couldn't even think that you could ask for something so humiliating as to make him wear that ugly maid dress and tights that make him feel like a whore on call.

— I used to have to work part-time in a maid cafe, — your voice seems to darken from unpleasant memories. — I wanted to throw away this form, but I think I found a better use for it! — only Blade wanted to give you an understanding silence, but instead he lets out another exasperated sigh when you are overflowing with enthusiasm again.

Out of the corner of your eye, you notice how Blade lets go of the hem of the dress with displeasure, again hiding his legs from your field of view. In fact, all this time your gaze was riveted to the muscular calves covered with mesh fabric. It seemed to you that… Sexy?

— And now what? — Blade turns around, angrily crossing his arms over his chest and seemingly looking away in embarrassment. If someone else were in your place, this person could have lost his head the second he voiced this humiliating request. But it was you. In fact, he is too greedy for your puppy dog eyes, constantly begging him to commit absolutely senseless follies, to which for some reason he continues to agree.

— Hm-m, actually, I wanted to arrange a real photo shoot for you, so that after sharing this treasure with Kafka and the Wolf! — you're really testing his patience. — But…

You stumble over the words when the image of his sexy legs, perfectly covered with vulgar tights, pops up in your mind again. It's ridiculous even for you. Initially, your request was just a way to tease your amazingly patient lover once again, but now you are desperately trying to fight the heat that treacherously spreads through your body every time you look down, unconsciously continuing to touch his back even when the satin bow has long been tightly tightened, elegantly emphasizing the curve of Blade's waist in an already tight dress. You glance cautiously over his shoulder, noticing how the black fabric hugs his chest, threatening to tear to shreds as soon as he takes a deep breath. However, you've always wondered how his own raincoat holds that muscular chest with the help of two pathetic buttons trembling with tension, but you weren't completely sure if your old uniform could withstand such pressure.

— But? — a low velvety voice, permeated with impatience, pulls you out of your thoughts and seems to bring you out of a deep trance when you notice how your fingers are gently pressed into the fabric of a tight dress.

— Damn, — you sigh softly, sitting down fatally and clinging to the hem of a lush black skirt.

Blade warily turns his head in your direction, watching you straighten up again, pulling the black fabric up to his waist and exposing a humiliating picture hidden under a skirt that he would like to never see again.

— What are you doing? — he wants to turn around and finally put you in your place, hoping that this will accelerate the approach of the long-awaited moment when this stupid outfit will leave his body forever.

But he remains motionless.

As if paralyzed, he sharply exhales air from his lungs when he feels your palms slide up from his shins, lingering on his muscular thighs. Tiny fingers press into tense muscles and Blade feels even more confused and annoyed. You're groping his body so brazenly, making him feel vulnerable, as if he's being blatantly harassed right now.

— I never would have thought that this dress would suit you so well… I'm sorry, I can't help myself, — you say breathlessly, while your fingers continue to possessively squeeze, massage and stroke his thighs through the stretched threads of tights. The tips of your fingers playfully slip under the thin mesh to feel the warmth of his body even more and explore every soft scar covering his legs.

Blade is distraught. Although you have always been the one who clearly dominates him morally in your relationship, physically he has always taken over, controlling everything that happens within your bedroom, and sometimes outside it. And now you've made him numb from the symphony of opposites raging in his chest. He wanted to grab your cheeky wrists and turn around, pressing your body into the wall behind, he wanted to dig into your lips with a rough kiss and remind you that it's his hands that should master every curve of your body, but he also wanted you not to stop.

Blade's chest heaves, threatening to tear the fabric stretched to the limit, as a heavy sigh escapes from his throat. One of your palms abruptly switches to his groin, groping for a surprisingly firm erection. His cock twitches in your palm, and your lips stretch in a smug grin. Blade remains silent, but if you could see his face now, you would be able to capture in your memory the most delightful aggressively embarrassed expression. He is literally shaking from the fact that his body reacts so treacherously to what is happening.

— I feel that you had to like it, but it should have been a punishment, — you rise on your toes to reach his neck, pressing your lips into the throbbing curve, leaving a wet kiss on the skin heated with embarrassment before pulling away.

Blade was almost ready to whine at the way the warmth of your hand left his hard organ, but instead his jaws close and he growls, turning around to you just in time for you to kneel down, climbing under the hem of a full skirt and pulling tights over his legs. He would have almost staggered back if it weren't for the grip of your hands, now pressing into his tight thighs again. Blade's lips open, threatening to pour out on you all the discontent swirling on the tip of his tongue, but he immediately swallows any curse that pops up in his thoughts when the warmth of your mouth envelops his needy cock. You dig into him so greedily, squeezing the throbbing flesh with soft lips, swallowing him deeper and deeper with each new movement of your head, ignoring any vomiting. For some reason, right now, seeing Blade like this, a passionate desire has awakened in you to make him moan sweetly to the wet sounds of your lips sliding over his hard erection.

It's so hard for him to breathe. The thick fabric tightens his chest tightly whenever he holds back another velvet growl escaping from his throat. He's so damn mad at you for making him feel so insecure and pathetic, but your narrow throat squeezes so deliciously around his girth while you recklessly take him whole, desperate to please him, that your persistence even amuses Blade. Right now he just wanted to see your face under that irritatingly long skirt, blocking him from any view of what was happening under it.

— Damn… remember that you brought it to this.

The muscles of his chest are straining to the limit, tearing the fabric that was desperately held to the last, finally allowing him to breathe and move normally. Blade pulls down the hem of your skirt, grabbing you by the hair and forcing you to your feet. His eyes meet yours, blinking in discouragement in response to his fierce gaze, as if you are a little guilty kitten who was picked up by the scruff of the neck.

— It seems to me that this stupid outfit has misled you that you can have any control over me.

— Ho-oh, wasn't it like that when you got turned on just because I squeezed your thighs? — you finally regain your former confidence by fearlessly mocking him. — By the way, although I have never worn these clothes, it was not necessary to tear them! – you look with sadness at the fabric that has parted on his chest, sadly realizing the fact that next time you will not be able to get him to wear this dress again. But your disappointment did not settle in your heart for too long when your gaze fell on the heaving voluminous chest, strewn with scars, which did not cease to cause this sweet heat in the bottom of your stomach, no matter how many times you had not seen it before.

— Shut up. You're going to pay for the fact that I had to wear these disgusting things at all, — Blade literally spits out these words before turning you around to face the wall, still painfully winding your hair around his fist. The air is knocked out of your lungs as soon as your chest and cheek meet a hard surface, and you gasp at the unexpected change of roles.

Your underwear instantly descends to your ankles, and the miniature skirt lifts up, revealing to Blade a view of your ass, the flesh of which instantly turns red from the lashing blow of his heavy palm. You flinch, and a cry of pain bursts from your throat when his blows are repeated over and over again, while his other hand releases your hair just to tinker with the fluffy skirt of a ridiculous suit. You can only hear the rustling of the fabric and the light ringing sound from his earring, swaying with each new blow. Burning with irritation and animal excitement, scarlet eyes notice the shiny moisture flowing down your trembling thighs. You've always been so greedy for any manifestation of his absolute dominance over your body that it's even touching.

The unnerving fabric rolls down on his belt and his hips immediately move forward, forcing you to press into the wall even harder from the delicious feeling of stretching and fullness when his hard cock easily plunges into your insides. Any hint of disobedience leaves your thoughts as soon as his hips begin to whiplash against your ass, forcing you to jump from each painful blow of his penis entering you all the way.

— Next time you'll think twice before forcing me to do something equally humiliating, — hoarse moans come out of Blade's chest as his strong fingers dig into the soft flesh of your ass, holding you in place, tightly pressed against the wall.

You feel the knot at the bottom of your stomach trembling and tightening, bringing you closer to the edge of your pleasure. His cock tirelessly stretches your walls that are contracting around his girth, ruthlessly cutting into the cervix every time his hips move forward, making you feel a hellish mixture of pain and pleasure that drives you crazy. You can almost see the bright light blurring your eyes when his movements suddenly stop with the last deep thrust, leaving his throbbing cock in the depths of your walls spasming in the coming orgasm. The blood is wildly accelerating through the veins that wrap around this divine member, which cruelly stopped all movements, forcing you to feel pleasant pulsations that keep you on the edge of the abyss, but not allowing you to step forward.

— B-Blade, please!.. — you whine, sobbing softly and making pathetic attempts to move your hips, which are immediately stopped by his stone grip on your buttocks.

— What is it? — Blade's voice is laced with annoying complacency. — Are you uncomfortable? Do you want me to continue?

— Yes!

— Then I guess you'll have to ask properly.

His chest rises and falls with each heavy sigh. He can see tears of despair welling up in your eyes as you squirm and squirm in his grip, trying to regain at least a little stimulation.

— P-please…

— What? I didn't hear you.

His heavy palm meets your ass again, pulling a pitiful cry out of your throat. You sob, transparent beads of tears roll down your cheeks.

— What is it? Are you speechless already?

One more blow and then his free palm wraps around your throat, forcing you to tilt your head back to meet his gaze as Blade looms over you, gazing intently at the mixture of despair and pain painted on your face.

— Please, Blade, please! I want so much… I want to cum, please…

The moment of his silence, while he reveled in the way your voice cracked, breaking into sobs, lasted like an eternity.

— Good girl.

You didn't have time to realize that, it seems, Blade finally heard what he wanted, as his hips again set the same ruthless pace, crashing into you at breakneck speed. His earring swayed with a soft tinkle from each sharp push, merging with the sounds of his hoarse growl and your stifled moans of pleasure. Blade could feel your walls squeezing his cock tight again, resisting every violent movement tearing your insides apart. His movements became careless, the rhythm lost, turning into a blind pursuit of his own pleasure.

This sweet feeling overwhelms your body again and your nails are pressed into a hard wall in despair. You could feel his cock swell and shudder inside, and the hoarse growl breaks into quiet moans. With the last careless but hard and rough thrusts, Blade tightens his grip on your buttocks, immediately leaving bruises on your skin under the pads of his fingers before bursting out of your insides, leaving you to spasm around emptiness as an intense orgasm covers you. Your ass, red from blows, as well as the hem of the skirt crumpled on Blade's belt, are splashed with sticky hot streams of sperm. You go limp, kneeling on the floor, when he finally lets go of your throat and hips, catching his breath after his climax.

Both of you are breathing heavily, trying to come to your senses again. You lazily rest your palms against the wall, trying to get to your feet, and finally turn around to Blade. When you came up with such a humiliating punishment for him, you could not even think that you would ever see something as beautiful as what now appeared before your eyes. The sweat-damp strands of Blade's long bangs stuck to his forehead, misty fiery eyes stare at you from under heavy half-closed eyelids, his chest rises and falls in time with his ragged breathing, peeking out of a torn black fabric and a crumpled white apron that has slipped off one of his shoulders, and the skirt is still pulled up at the waist decorated with white spots, exposing to you a view of his semi-hard penis, slightly trembling in his palm, trembling legs and stretched mesh tights, concertina gathered at the level of his ankles. Now you are literally speechless, finding this sight so beautiful that it will forever be imprinted in the subcortex of your memory.

Blade sighs heavily before lazily sinking onto the sofa behind him.

— Now this disgusting costume is finally ruined, what a pity, — his lips slightly stretch in a barely noticeable smile.

His words seem to bring you out of deep hypnosis, bringing you to your senses again. You straighten up, shifting your gaze from his hips to his smug expression on his face.

— It's okay, I'll buy a new one for next time, especially for you!

Someday he'll just strangle you while you're sleeping soundly.

[bird-inacage]

Net x James: An important reminder that BL partnerships consist of two individuals and they are not just a single entity.

So the Netjames news has been a notable bombshell in the fandom of late, and I've been quietly observing this as it unfolded earlier this week, particularly the varying reactions and discourse around it.

In his statement, James explained that his current career goals are moving in a different direction, which has resulted in him pulling out of 'Love Upon a Time', and by extension his acting partnership with Net. He wants to explore his other avenues as an artist, whereas Net is presumably focused on acting for now.

With BL partnerships, we often see the two co-stars tied at the hip. Its part of the gig and it comes with the territory. They don't just work together on their project, but they do a huge amount of activity (both public and private) outside of that. They travel, perform, they do fan meets, press events, and spend a huge amount of time together as a twosome. So we get accustomed to seeing them as a united entity, which means news like this tends to hit harder because it feels akin to a divorce. This is one of the pitfalls of the Thai BL industry. When you create a narrative around two people who exclusively come as a package, it makes it incredibly difficult for both the actors themselves and fans to accept or make peace with any possible deviation from that. I think it's natural for any actor or artist to desire collaboration with different people: to develop their craft, to further their experience, to broaden their versatility. If sticking to only one working partner 'for life' doesn't work for them, I completely empathise with that.

In their recent Instagram lives, Net and James were clearly sad and their feelings still very raw. This led to a lot of speculation regarding any ill-feeling or fall out between the two. But such accusations can be harmful. Even in an amicable or mutual break-up where ending a relationship is in both parties' best interests - the two people involved are still grieving. Being brutally honest and transparent with someone close to you, that things can no longer continue as they are, isn't easy. If fans feel upset, just imagine how difficult this is on them both. When you've been nurtured as a partnership from the get go, your co-star whose always been at your side provides a sense of safety and familiarity. And the prospect of now moving forward without them is a scary new unknown. On top of that, they probably feel an immense amount of pressure and guilt in digesting the potential fallout and response from their fans. There will be trepidation in how well their careers will fare in the immediate aftermath.

Despite this, there are also positives to be taken from this decision. Arguably, Net and James were still in the early stages of their partnership. Bed Friend really put them on the map as a couple. So for James to come forward with this realisation now, before they got too established as a pairing was a responsible thing to do. I'm sure the last thing anyone wants is for their favourite artists to feel stuck or obliged to continue working together, which would undoubtedly lead to feelings of resentment eventually.

So respectfully, these instances are not to be taken personally or to be deemed as a betrayal of your support. After all, what we know of these artists is only a very small piece of their identities as people. It's okay to be devastated, but be respectful of their wishes. You can choose to continue supporting them as individuals, or choose to no longer support them at all - either way, you are perfectly valid and entitled to your choice, just extend the same courtesy back and be mindful of casting unfair judgement on their choice.

For me, it is admittedly a shame because I did see great potential in them both as a pair, and they had fantastic chemistry which could have been nurtured with more time and experience. Regardless, I truly believe they both have immense love for one another, and I wish them both the very best. They've just come to terms with the fact they no longer share the same vision for what they want in their careers. And that's okay.

(I will always be grateful that they gave us THIS iconic moment).

[ajramseyart]

I played Dragon Age Veilguard...twice

First! Fuck Solas!! For real though, great character.

Second Davrin and Emmrich won my heart this round.

I'm going to ramble about this game for a min. I have played all the games since the very beginning way back 15 years ago. Was part of the fandom and made sooooo much fanart. So much. So deal with it for a min.

Spoilers below

I wish I romanced Emmrich second though because the whole lich thing was something I didnt want. I went through the whole rest of his quest thinking bioware was going to make me romance a skeleton and I didnt want that...also the age gap thing took me out as well after making an older Rook. It made me feel like my character was 20 years old, especially with the option to tell this 50+ year old man that my Rook is a virgin.............Anyway I really loved his character and story, he is my very close second fav to Davrin.

Davrin was sweet and really loved his quest. It really fit in well with the grey warden story and overall story. He ended up being my fav companion this time around.

Grey Wardens impressed me. I went into this game wanting nothing to do with the Wardens. Been there, done that. Probably boring like they were in inquisition and DA2. Boy was I wrong. I really enjoyed the Wardens. I played a warden my second play through and having characters say its nice to have a warden around much better with two wardens...and it just hit me in the feels. It made me yearn for origins again. Loved the whole dark age Romanesque-ish aesthetic. It just felt really really good. It felt like home.

Main quest was really good this time around. Gameplay was good. Loved playing reaper. That third act was something I have been waiting for in an rpg.

I wish Rook wasn't so agreeable and nice. Its okay for "friends" and "found family" to have to conflict and drama and not also agree on everything. It really made me miss Vivienne and Wynne.

In my second play through I picked all the stern and aggressive options just to add some grit to Rooks personality.

I felt like the only Inquisitor that mattered was an inquisitor that romanced Solas. The only question that mattered was if you romanced Solas...which really sucked. I purposely did default inquisitor on my second play through just so I could trick solas into the fade without her in front of her.

I was really hoping that my inquisitor would show up at the end and kill him. It was on my bingo card but no...

I really wish they didnt add the inquisitor. But thats just one girls opinion. Key word here, opinion.

I called the Varric thing early on after getting Lucanis. So happy I didnt romance that guy. Once I saw he was possessed, I said no. Fool me once bioware.

Any way the Varric thing was really sad, I cried. It hit hard even though I knew the entire game he was dead..its a common trope.

It was a fun game, pretty game. Not the best dragon age game. The most memorable thing about this game for me will be the main quest and normally its the characters and I just feel like the characters got the shaft. I really wish I could have interacted with them more. They had a lot of quests which is great but having the option to click on them just to say hi would have done wonders.

I will not be making fan art this time around. I just have no urge or inspiration to make any.

[tgmsunmontue]

getting to know mutuals!

Tagged by @halestrom on main, but posting here because if people follow me on main they usually already know most of this... 🤣 (And editing to add @nimuetheseawitch and @ghostlykiss who have also since tagged me. I'm not ignoring them, promise!)

what's the origin of your blog title? Sunday - Monday - Tuesday, SunMonTue - it was a three-day period where I was meant to be working on an assignment however instead found fanfic and spent three days reading. Then I needed a username so I could create an account and subscribe and it's been me username/handle for nearly 20 years. Hence sunmontuewrites (main), and JanineSMT and sunmontue on AO3 etc etc...

otp(s) + shipname(s): Jake/Bradley, Hangster. Derek/Stiles, Sterek. Eric/Jack, Zimbits. Dave/Kurt, Kurtofsky. (Only doing fandoms I've written in... I'm generally pretty happy to read most things).

favourite colour: Purple. All shades.

song stuck in your head: Currently an acoustic cover of Simply the Best by John Adams. It's a little bit haunting.

weirdest habit/trait: I honestly have no idea?

hobbies: writing, baking, patchwork, Lego, card making... I also enjoy walking and travelling. And taking photos. And drawing. I also used to do scrapbooking and journalling.

if you work, what's your profession? I don't have a profession as such as a calling. I am the bossy/scary admin person that everyone is a little bit scared of... But I get shit done and people think I'm great at my job. (I studied science and work in engineering and my dad was a maths academic so... that provides some context I hope?)

if you could have any job you wish, what would it be? I legitimately love my job, the amount of variety is crazy, and the team I'm in is amazing, as are the students and 90% of the academics. HOWEVER I cannot wait to retire and write fulltime... still a little while away though. (Much closer for me than most of you though!)

something you're good at: I'd like to think I'm decent at most of my hobbies, I know I'm good at my job... I have KICK ASS hand writing if I do say so myself. I always get compliments on it.

something you hate: Bigots and people who are ignorant by choice. I am scared about becoming intolerant or close minded as I get older.

something you collect: Lego? I collect the Botanicals, Winter Village and also the modular buildings.

something you forget: Oof. I forget SO MUCH now (and I'm blaming the Covid x5 and perimenopause brainfog). I am very good at writing things down so I do not forget. I still sometimes forget.

what's your love language: Feeding people. If people are sad, lonely, happy, I want to make food for them.

favourite movie/show: Top Gun Maverick. I know. You're all shocked.

favourite food: Chinese. So much variety and depth of flavour I could eat nothing but Chinese food for the rest of my life and be happy.

favourite animal: Cats. At one point we had five. It was GLORIOUS.

what were you like as a child: BUSY.

favourite subject at school: Geography.

least favourite subject: Hmm. None. Yes. I was one of those annoying kids.

what's your best character trait? I try to assume people aren't trying to be dicks. Like I ask myself "could they be having a bad day?" before I let their behaviour impact mine negatively, or ruin my day. (I have to TRY really hard at this some days).

what's your worst character trait? I over think things. Also I can come across as snobbish or cold/uncaring. (But I'm just quiet and introverted in person and several of my friends have said they thought I was stand offish before they got to know me).

if you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be? I would love to have my mum be alive.

if you could travel in time, who would you like to meet? Oof. Kate Sheppard probably. Although she'd likely be devasted with the current events going on in the USA.

If you do this please tag me, mutuals or not. I always like getting to know people. 🌻🌻🌻

[yinyuedijun]

Mao I've come to you for internet wisdom

I have a friend who writes on Tumblr, they've had to make new blogs due to getting hate and even switch online personas. The hate they're getting isn't normal either. The person sending hate anons knows their irl identity and keeps doxxing them in the asks (obviously they've only posted covered screenshots whenever they showed their ask box) they've tried everything, switching blogs and deleting old ones, having someone else filter their askbox, closing their askbox for a while, etc but whenever they reopen asks for the sake of writing they receive hate again, no matter how much they use the block button. The content they write isn't even too dark imo (and even if it was that doesn't warrant the hate, but what I mean is this anon is dead set on harassing them regardless of reason) I'm genuinely mad if seeing this happen to my online friend though I'm not that good on Tumblr.

Do you know anything that could help or have any advice? I'm just really sad and want to hug them every time this happens because the anxiety they have from these experiences have made them ill.

first of all, I'm deeply sorry that this is happening to your friend. I can never understand why people choose to chronically harass writers on this site. it literally ruins the experience of the website and makes it so much worse for everyone involved - people write less, read less, interact less. and most importantly, it's simply not an acceptable way to treat another human being.

my foremost advice to anyone receiving hate is just to delete it and ignore it, or else turn off anon and block whatever accounts send you shit. however, in this particular case, I strongly recommend that your friend prioritizes their personal safety by deleting their account and laying low for a while. I have seen doxxing cases in this community escalate pretty extremely, and while it sucks a lot to delete a writing blog, I guarantee it will suck way worse if the wrong irl finds your writing blog and identifies you as the author. trust me on this one.

if your friend ever returns to writing after deleting, they need to be very serious about changing personas - by which I mean, they should write for other fandoms, ideally post on another website, and not tell old mutuals about their new url. they need to make it genuinely impossible to trace their new identity to their old one. you have to treat it like a data breach (because it is).

I wish I could say something more comforting 😭 but this is my honest advice. I know your friend's case isn't motivated by dark content, but I do think all dark content writers need to take privacy concerns seriously.

I hope things get better for your friend soon.

[analogwriting]

The Other Side of Paradise

Chapter 20: Waterfalls Coming Out Your Mouth

Killer x gn!reader word count:2.9k taglist: @kattywhomper @tremendoushorsepatrolgoth @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @ttalgi @animesailor9 first|next

“The quality is so much better now that they're officially recording!”

“I'm loving the new vibe.”

“I don't know what that label put into your food but I hope they keep doing it 😭🙏”

“I like how, even tho signed with an official label, they still sound the same 😍”

That was just some of the thousands of comments you received. Sure, there were some critiques and some people weren't fans, but they were in the minority. Most people loved the new album and honestly, you felt like you could breathe again. 

It was well into the next morning. You guys had stayed up all night watching people's reactions and comments come flooding in. You all felt like you were on cloud nine. The groupchat with all your friends was popping as well, everyone congratulating you guys and talking about other comments they've seen or funny ones they wanted to print out. It was a good time. 

Some of your friends even debated the people hating on the album. You guys couldn't do it but no one said they couldn't. And with your anonymity, no one would trace them back to you and they were just written off as stans, so you let them have at it. It was always a spectacle. 

In the beginning, when they did that, you tried to reprimand them. It wasn't worth the time. But that didn't stop them so you didn't stop them either. Plus, sometimes you wish you could do the same, but that was just the rougher side of you peeking out.

You also kept an eye on album sales. Pre-orders had decent numbers from your loyal fan base then absolutely skyrocketed once the album was out. It seemed people wanted a token and permanent reminder of your album and you felt your heart swell with pride. 

Corazon ended up calling you; turns out he had also been up all night watching as people reacted and seeing how things went. He was absolutely over the moon with the results. He was so happy and proud of you. “I knew you could do it!” You also felt even more proud knowing you made him proud. He'd quickly turned into a father figure for the four of you just as you all had turned into his kids - just as Law said.

The next couple of days after that was just spent revelling in it. You occasionally looked at more comments, your group chat sharing screenshots and overall celebrating. You had already taken note of some of the constructive criticism to apply to the next album. You didn't have anything in mind yet. You'd have to go through your catalog of songs and see which ones fit the theme you would end up going with. You also wanted to make sure that it flowed nicely from one album to the next. 

But that was for later. 

You did a good number of phone interviews but also opted for Corazon to do the television interviews and such. It added a layer of mystery to your band unintentionally, but it worked out for the best as it fit your theme. Corazon also did fantastically for your band during the interviews. He talked about how hard you all worked and just praised you through and through. Even in your fandom, he was dubbed as ‘Dad’.

Your band had been turned into a household name at this point. You were probably up there with Law’s band. Maybe even close to their band as well. It wouldn't be long before you'd be crossing paths. That much you were sure of. 

These days, however, you weren't really thinking of revenge anymore. Hell, you hardly thought about them. You'd come so far without them that they were becoming a distant memory. Just turning into another band in the field. Possible coworkers. That was it. It was sad, but it was the reality.

You were at the apartment when Corazon called. He asked that you and your band meet him at the company building in one of the conference rooms. You were going to meet his brother, the CEO, Donxquiote Doflamingo. You were a bit nervous about that, but he assured you it was just to talk about the tour. Doflamingo was more hands on when it came to larger things like tours. 

However, you didn't hear or process much after he mentioned going on tour. You were hooting and hollering, your friends joining in once they asked what the hell was going on. You were absolutely ecstatic about the tour. This would be your first real tour and it was going to be huge. To you guys, at least.

Corazon was trying to talk to you about some of the details, but couldn't grab your attention long enough again so he just reminded you to have your band come by the building that afternoon for the meeting before letting you go to celebrate and get it all out of your system.

Your friends were already texting the group chat, setting a date for a celebratory party. Corazon mentioned the tour at least still being out a bit, so you had plenty of time to organize your own party. 

You even had another group chat with Law's crew and your own. You invited them to the party as well. Everyone was more than excited. Law, however, judged you for having another party. 

You snort as all three of them chimed the exact same thing at the exact same time. Seems like they’d be there with Law whether he liked it or not.

“They’re fun,” Hop mused as she set down her phone. She sighed, plopping down on the sofa. The four of you were finally calming down from the hype of the tour. “Looks like we’re gonna be busy for the foreseeable future, huh?”

You nod, plopping down in another chair. “Who knows how long this tour is going to be. We’re hardly going to have time to work on songs.” You rubbed your temples. Now that the excitement was coming down, it was replaced with stress and responsibility. This was a new chapter and a whole new series of headaches.

Bubblegum snorted as he plopped down in the hammock that you had hanging in the livingroom. “As if you don’t already have a whole arsenal of songs. We just have to pick them out and find a sound.” He stretched out, putting his hands behind his head and closing his eyes. “I’m sure it won’t take us too long to deal with the next album, but let’s just take it slow. We don’t have to push something out right now.” He was right.

Dive plopped on the couch with Hop, sprawling out with her. “Yeah. All work and no play would make Dive a very dull gremlin,” she said with a huff. Her face was contorted in a frown. She didn’t like the thought of more work, but she was one of the hardest workers you’d ever seen.

“You know me, always thinking a few steps ahead. Call that anxiety.” You chuckled to yourself, leaning your head back.

“Corazon wants us to meet with the big CEO to talk about the tour.” You looked at your watch. “In a few hours.” 

Everyone made faces. Not really for any reason other than you all weren’t fans of dealing with new people. You guys were used to Corazon and now you were going to have to deal with some big CEO. Not to mention all the rumors you heard about him. He didn’t seem like the most fantastic guy to be around.

You sighed, standing up. “Well, I’m going to get ready. Holler if you need anything.” With that, you headed to the bathroom to wash up.

--

“Do we have to do this?” Bubblegum was grumbling as the four of you headed into the company building. 

“Yes. If we want to go on tour, we need to talk to the CEO. He’s the one that deals with things like this.” You sighed, shaking your head.

“But you’re the leader. Why do we have to go?”

“Because we all need to meet him. It was going to happen eventually. He also asked for all of us.” 

Bubblegum grumbled again, folding his arms and mumbling like a child. You couldn’t help but snort at him. 

“You’re so dramatic. It probably won’t even take that long,” you said, rolling your eyes.

“They are never short. Big corporate dudes love hearing themselves talk.” Well, you couldn’t argue with him on that one. 

As you guys headed inside, Corazon met you in the lobby. You were supposed to meet him in the conference room, but he happened to be passing by the moment you all walked in. Great timing.

“Are you guys ready?” Corazon said with a wide smile. You shrugged. “As good as we can be having to meet the CEO. We’d rather just talk to you about it,” you said with a snort.

Corazon smiled, shaking his head. “I feel so honored to be one of the few people you guys prefer working with.” 

You all were just used to him at this point and he never gave you a reason to not like him. He was always kind and understanding. He never pushed you and he seemed to genuinely care. So, yeah. He was one of the few people you guys prefer working with. You guys really lucked out having a good manager like him. You had fully expected this to be hell in a handbasket, but he made things a lot easier to deal with.

You reach the conference room. There were three men at one end of the table. When you walked in a tall, blond man in red glasses stood up. “Nice to finally meet you all.” You didn’t need to be told that this was Doflamingo. You’d seen his face plenty of times during your research. Not to mention the air around him. It screamed the person in charge.

You greeted them, noting the two with him. You knew from snooping around that one of them was Trebol. He was Doflamingo’s right hand man. They were always working together. A secretary of sorts. The other guy you didn’t know, however. He seemed really familiar but you couldn’t put your finger on it.

Once all of you were settled, Doflamingo spoke up. “As you all probably know, I’m Doflamingo. This is Trebol. This is Diamante.” Everyone exchanged greetings. The four of you were very silent, letting the other man have the floor. You weren’t going to speak if you didn’t need to. Your eyes shifted to Diamante for a moment. Even his name was familiar.

Doflamingo leaned forward, interlocking his hands, watching all of you. He smiled, making you incredibly uneasy. There was something off about him that just confirmed all of the rumors. You knew this guy wasn’t a good guy. He was slimy and shady and you were not a fan. You were surprised he was related to Corazon in all honesty.

“You guys have come quite a ways, huh?” His voice was too smooth and again, it made you uneasy. You all nodded.

“I’ll admit, I was hesitant to let my brother sign you guys. Your concept was a little too abstract. Odd. But, seeing as you had a pretty solid starting fanbase already and he really wanted to sign you guys for some reason, I didn’t see any harm in letting him sign you.” He chuckled, shaking his head. You glanced at Corazon. He had wanted to sign you guys that badly? Did he really enjoy your music that much? You had questions.

“Then I heard about the contract negotiation and counter contract you had my brother sign. I knew signing you could be fun. I wasn’t expecting someone so smart to be in this business. Usually people just sign their lives away without a second thought.”

From the corner of your eyes, your friends were shifting uncomfortably. They also didn’t like this vibe the man was giving off. You spoke up. “We’ve just been hurt one too many times. This is supposed to be fun for us. A passion project. We’re not going to let a corporation change that. You’re signing us not canvases to make what you will. Besides, I went to school for this kind of thing to ensure we’d be able to be ourselves and have fun without legalities and loopholes ruining it,” you said, crossing your arms.

You couldn’t really see the man’s eyes behind his glasses but you knew he narrowed them. The air tensed a little, but you didn’t let it bother you. You were currently raking in money and it probably would only grow. He wouldn’t just let you go easily. You had some leeway to kind of be a dick and you knew it.

“That’s true. Sometimes corporations can have their hands in things a little too much, but usually it’s because the band has no idea what they’re doing, so we take over. You guys seem to have everything down pat, just wanted some help from a big label to really project you into stardom.”

“You’re not wrong. I saw you as a stepping stool, but it’s not like you don’t benefit from it.” You saw the man’s eye twitch as you spoke. He definitely didn’t like you. He was probably too used to followers. Scared little puppies that just do whatever. He did not like the fact that you acted like he was nothing. You clocked his personality from the beginning. You knew exactly how to handle him.

“That’s true. You guys are making us a serious income. It was a good idea to invest in you. My brother did well in choosing.” He looked at Corazon who just sat there. He hadn’t so much as said a word since the five of you walked in here. It didn’t take a genius to realize that he wasn’t a fan of his own brother. He was like a completely different person right now. The air around him was even different. You’d need to talk to him later.

“I appreciate all you’ve done to help us as well. We couldn’t have done it without you,” you said, laying it on thick. You leaned forward, mirroring his pose. You watched his eye twitch again. 

“Glad we could help.” His smile grew, but you knew he was glaring daggers behind those sunglasses. You probably shouldn’t have been such an ass, but you couldn’t help it. This guy just brought it out in you.

“Let’s talk tour, shall we?” He clearly wanted to change the topic and you welcomed it. You didn’t want to end up getting yelled at or fired. You couldn’t terminate the contract because of money but they definitely could.

“Yes, let’s. I’m sure you folks are busy.” You smiled, but he couldn’t see it. Even though Doflamingo was the CEO, the four of you were still in your get up. You definitely didn’t trust this man enough to show your faces.

The man cleared his throat, clearly trying not to lose his cool. “Yes. We are.” He shook his head, opening a folder in front of him. “Fans are demanding you to go on tour. I figured one going around the country would be good enough. Test the waters a bit. We haven’t looked into an international tour just yet, we need to see how we do on the ground floor first.”

You nodded as he spoke. That’s about what you expected. Just because a lot of fans were asking for a tour didn’t mean that they’d actually show up in those kinds of numbers. You honestly weren’t even sure what your international numbers even were. You never really thought you’d make it this big so you didn’t really keep an eye on that one.

“We also wanted to pair you with another band that’s also touring at the time. They’re across seas right now and have been the last couple of months, but their last leg of their tour is here in the country. We figured you guys could open for them, sell some merch. It would be good starting numbers.” He looked at you, waiting for you to protest.

You didn’t. It made sense. Starting as an opener for a bigger band than you made sense. It was a good way to create more hype and start selling your own merch and getting your name out there more. You had no complaints. You were just curious what band they had in mind. The one that made the most sense was Law’s bands considering you collabed together.

“I know what you’re thinking. The Heart Pirates make the most sense because you collabed before, but we figured before you go on tour, you could make a new collab song with this band. Then it would make more sense for you to tour together and also you can perform the song together.”

You nodded slowly, not liking that he read your mind but it also didn’t take a genius to realize what you were thinking. He was a slimy CEO, you expected him to have some brains.

“We want you four to collaborate with Victoria Punk.”

[woodface]

Motherland: Fort Salem - But I don't even have a dress (S3E09)

I was going through this episode to gather my thoughts on a certain scene and ended up making screenshots, and rambling on discord. Then realised it's sad when fandom stuff happens behind lock and key, and also that I lose track of things this was. So apologies if I'm repeating myself, but...

First of all, I need to pause for a second because I think this is the first time Anacostia sees Sarah again after she was taken into the Mycellium. Can you imagine that she's been hearing from Petra and the Bellweather Unit that Sarah was back and alive... only for her to have to hear from Tally that Sarah dies again?

Anacostia makes Sarah human more than anything else. It's tempting to get inside my ship brain too much and say that Tally makes her human, but Anacostia for so long as Sarah's last touchstone (aside from the biddies, of course). The one person who did not live in her head, but saw her as someone to care for. The one person who reached out when she was facing her army standing against her and who gave her permission to *stop*. With one touch, Anacostia reached out and let the great General Sarah Alder lower her weapon and walk away.

The last time they spoke, Anacostia honoured her as a mother and their reunion is so heartbreaking beautiful. Just this moment here, you see how deeply Sarah cares and you see just for a split second how close she is to breaking down because she gets to hold Anacostia again.

I think it's this that she takes with her, that she tucks in her heart as she walks away from the wedding. She saw the one person who mattered and who needed the closure, until to get caught by the one person she was trying to avoid because between her and Tally Craven can never exist. She will be a what if and she will not ruin her joy.

I'm a little vexed how little chance they give Tally to express herself because while it's joking, Tally truly thought all was lost with Alder and that she had not only lost her, but lost any way to fix what was coming. And then there she is, flippant and acting like they weren't balanced on the edge of cliff the last time they saw each other. The last time Tally list her again, along with her Sight and any hope she had.

And yet, this moment here. The Weddings, it's a joke and yet the way she glances down. The way the word catches in her chest. She's joking and light, but why does she look so sad and regretful. So yeah, Alder does what she does best and focused on the mission. Focuses on what needs to be done rather than what she wants to be done. And then there's Tally who just nods as if it's the only logical conclusion for her to go with her.

You see Sarah stop, you see the word at the tip of her tongue right there.

Sarah Alder went to that wedding very much intending to avoid Tally Craven, to not drag her down with her. She must have known, must have foreseen that Tally would still want to help, because she always helps her, and yet she looks caught off guard. By the offer, by how she almost says yes because not having to do this alone would mean the world to her, but Sarah Alder is used to carrying the world on her shoulders.

I wish I could make gifs, because I swear that you see the yes right there and then she swallows it. This very split second where she almost breathes the words and then she takes it back, she pushes it down and does what she must do and tells Tally no. She needs to keep her safe and then, with Anacostia still on her mind and with that joke about weddings stuck in her chest, she tells Tally to celebrate.

She can't even look at her because Tally is not her loved one just like a wedding will never be hers either. Tally is here though, celebrating with her unit and her coven, and all of that is in the past for her.

The way she doesn't dare to look at Tally in this moment, the way she glances up at the sky. Isn't that what you do when you try to keep control of yourself and your feelings? Celebrate this moment, because Sarah knows what's coming.

It's just a split second after, as she composes herself and forces herself to look at Tally, but you see the way her face tightens. You see the tension at her chin, just a second of regret. Or more specifically, just a second where she lets the regret show before she pushes it down and goes back to:

Tell me this is not the face of a woman who knows she is temporary in this world. Who knows that the change she is chasing and believes in is not for her, that whatever she desires in that moment would only hurt. No matter how selfish she wants to be, no matter how much she wishes she was someone who could celebrate, she has to walk away and chase destiny to secure a future she'll never partake in.

Sarah Alder is tired. Sarah Alder might wish that she could take one moment to indulge herself, but just like she has done at every crossroad in her life, she turns around and carries the burden so no one else has to. Especially not Tally Craven who gave up her Sight and would give so much more if Sarah let her. And Sarah is very set on not letting her.

[letteredlettered]

Hi, I hope that question don't bother you, I heard about Gallaplacidia taking down her works, and that's hurt me a little. I don't blame her, I already preorder her novel, but the fact that one autor need to delete fanfiction in order to become a 'real' autor, and be taken seriously make me mad, because she is talented and she hasn't did anything that need to hide. I'd like to hear your thoughts about it.

thank you for your time and your lovely work

This ask is from two years ago. Sorry I'm so late.

I'm afraid that I don't know galla, I never read their fics, and I don't know anything about why they took them down. Maybe they explained themself, and your feelings are based on that explanation. But if they didn't explain themself, I wouldn't make assumptions about why they took down their fanfic.

People do it for lots of reasons when they get published. Sometimes fanfic is just a chapter is someone's life, and when they're done with that chapter, they want to close it as much as they can, like moving out of a house, taking pictures down from a wall. Sometimes people want to write ideas they've already posted, and their publishers actually prefer them to take down their stuff because they don't want anyone thinking they can just read the fanfic version for free, instead of a copyrighted version. Sometimes someone is writing YA and knows that their pro name could easily be linked to their fannish pen names, meaning that children who read their books could be searching about them and easily stumble across smut.

And then there's the fact that some fans (both fans of fanfic and fans of pro fic) are just disrespectful--both to fanfic writers and pro writers. And I could see being a professional author who is not keen on the idea of trying to sell her book, going to book festivals and book releases, and getting asked about fic, fic about characters you did not create and are no longer writing. It's happened before; it's a reasonable fear. Taking down your fic is a signal that that kind of interaction is not welcome and you have moved on.

And there are plenty of really tremendous fic writers who are also pro who did not take down their works. I think those are people who still want fandom to be a part of their lives, which is wonderful, but it also means they are willing to navigate all of the above. Some people just aren't, and that's okay. It's sad that they took their fics down, but it's their right to do it, and they should do what's good and healthy for them. It's not wrong and it's not hiding, and it's not necessarily because they didn't respect the fic they wrote or fandom as a whole. It's just not their thing any more.

All of that said, if anyone is putting their fics up on AO3 they are imo licensing you to save it as a pdf, so I would recommend you download all the fics that are your faves so you can read them on your own. Some authors will try to tell you that that is a horrible thing to do and disrespecting their wishes and their word or whatever, but I disagree (as long as you don't go about posting it anywhere else).

[sheeple]

Miracles don't exist | 15: Like hot coals

Genre(s): Riddle!reader / Slytherin!reader / kinda slowburn / little happy moments Fandom(s): Harry Potter Pairing(s): Theodore Nott x Reader / Harry Potter x Riddle!reader Summary: Being the Dark Lord's daughter and raised under the strict supervision of the Malfoy's is no easy life. Especially if you start crushing on your father's arch-nemesis, Harry Potter. And that while being engaged to one of his follower’s sons. Warning(s): Smooching / reader is one angsty bitch who loves self-punishment [Masterlist] [Mini masterlist] [Playlist]

The days grow shorter and the temperature drops significantly. And before you know you have to go back home for Christmas. You've been dreading the moment and you look like shit. The DA lessons are also not going in your favour.

As Harry dismisses the class, his eyes meet yours and you understand that he's asking you to stay behind. You move towards the mirror and study the group picture of the Order. They were all so young. And Voldemort killed most of them. Or driven them insane.

Once everybody cleared out of the Room of Requirement, having said their goodbyes and Christmas well wishes, it's only Harry and you. He goes to stand next to you. You see in the reflection that he wants to touch you and comfort you in some way or another. But instead, he drops his hand back to his side.

Turning around, you swallow. "I'm scared to go back, Harry. He's at the Malfoy Manor." It comes out as a hiss, dangerously teetering close to Parsletongue. "And they will be there, revelling in their... doings and I-"

Your breath hitches in your throat as the first tears start to fall. The ones you've been holding back for so long but couldn't find a moment to let go. 

Harry grabs your hands, giving them a squeeze. He reaches and wipes away a tear from your cheek, his hand lingering on your cheek. He knows you mean Voldemort. But you yourself are not sure if you only mean Voldemort, or also Theodore.

In your heartbreak and loneliness, you lean into Harry's touch. You haven't let anyone touch you like that since the day you received the Mark. You always felt like he was lingering in the back of your mind.

But Harry... He's like you- almost. He also bears a mark that Voldemort left behind on his soul. He's already on the Dark Lord's kill list, so he wouldn't be in more danger with your involvement.

Your touch starved-ness mistakes Harry as a sign he has been looking for, and he presses his lips against yours. The kiss is first soft and unsure. But as Harry cups the back of your head, his finger lacing your hair, the kiss starts to be more serious. It actually forms into a make-out session.

More tears start to pool out of your eyes as you feel guilty towards Theodore. He obviously liked you, and you still like him. But it feels oh so good to have your cheeks cradled like that by Harry. To have someone touch you tenderly without ulterior motives. Your skin aches for that kind of contact. So, selfishly, you cherish every moment of it.

Your hands fist the back of his sweater when the two of you part. As you lean your forehead against him, you close your eyes. His breath hits your face in soft puffs.

"Come with me to Grimmault for Christmas. And summer break. You'll be safe there. And Sirius would love to see you again." A short laugh escapes him. "He's sort of sad that he can't send you any more letters."

You smile sadly. "I can't, Harry. You know the consequences will be too severe if I don't show up." You've already missed Christmas last year, so there is no way your aunt and uncle will let you not attend this year. Especially now that Voldemort is residing in the mansion.

He hums and wants to give your lips another peck, but you stop him. The confused look on his face saddens you.

"We can't", you whisper, "we're supposed to be opposites- enemies."

"You being here means that there is no way you could ever be my enemy."

Oh, Harry... You don't know how terribly wrong you are.

You take a step back and stare at the ground. You wipe away your tears harshly with the palm of your hand. "I'm sorry, I really am. But I'm not the type of girl you need, Harry." You lean one last time closer and give him a lingering kiss on the cheek. "Have a nice Christmas. See you next year."

And with that whisper, you leave the Room of Requirement. Guilt, heartbreak, anger, and anguish swirl through you. And that all the while the Mark on your arm burns like hot coals.

Cold water splashes against your face, smudging your makeup. Staring yourself down in the mirror above the sink, you wipe away the water and mascara that runs down your face.

You fix the sleeves of your floor-length gown. One good thing about winter is that nobody questions why you have a dress with long sleeves. Even though you will be in a room with mostly Death Eaters, you're not too keen on showing off the Mark.

Checking the time, you rush towards the ballroom and stand next to your father. You fix a stray hair before people file in, making their way over to the two of you and bowing to the Dark Lord.

An enchanted orchestra starts to play the first notes of a slow song and the annual Malfoy Christmas ball has officially started. Normally you're allowed to roam around the ballroom, mingle with the guests and pick something to eat before disappearing into the library and spending the rest of the evening there. 

But now you're expected to stand next to Voldemort. Smile and nod whenever you're needed to and overall keep quiet. Silent, agreeable, and well-behaved. Those are the words your uncle told you with a hiss before you were let go to get ready.

You mostly zoned out of the conversations, the anxious energy of the guests starting to get on your nerves. The only time when the guests speak to you is when they ask if you are officially engaged. After all, you're almost at pure-blood marrying age.

At one point you have enough of it all, and you turn towards your father. "May I be excused, my Lord?"

He loftily waves you away and you make your way over to the drinks table. Your feet are killing you from standing around and you are hungry as a hippogriff. 

Making sure you stay in sight of your father, you move towards the table with hors d'oeuvres. You feel a presence behind you and turn around. Mr Nott looks at you with a wide smile. Behind him stands Theodore, his eyes boring into your own.

"Miss Black — or I should say Riddle — you look very pretty." The compliment gives you the ick but you smile politely. "My son would be honoured to take you to dance." 

The elder man pushes Theodore towards you. He holds out his hand for you to take. You make eye contact with Voldemort. And after the faintest of nods, you take Theodore's hand. He leads you towards the middle of the dance floor and a waltz starts to play.

Neither of you says something until the dance is almost done. You anxiously fiddle with your fingers from the hand that lays on Theodore's shoulder.

"You really do look beautiful." 

Your eyes flicker towards his – which are already trained on you. "Thank you", you whisper, a faint smile growing on your face.

As Theodore twirls you around, he catches a glimpse of Voldemort. "So, Riddle huh?"

Your stomach knots together at the last name and you nod. "Yeah... I prefer Black though. Feels less... evil?"

"Is that also the reason you've been ignoring me all school year?" Theodore's voice and face is void of all emotions, cold and indifferent.

It feels like he has driven a knife through your heart. You can handle hurt. You can handle anger. But cold? The indifference hurts the most. Like he doesn't care about you anymore.

"I just wanted to protect you." Your voice cracks as it comes out in a whisper.

The hold on your hand and middle tighten and his eyes narrow. "Protect me? From what? The Dark Lord? For your information, Riddle, I've grown up with Death Eaters."

You close your eyes, willing away your tears. You can't cry now. It will look pitiful and weak, and the Heir of Voldemort can't look weak. "I- I know, Theodore. I don't want him to hurt you when I am not as obedient as he wants."

"That sounds like a you problem, Riddle." Theodore looks like he's ready to pounce.

But before he can do any more damage, Uncle Lucius raises his glass and taps his wand to it. The guests fall silent and turn towards the white-haired man.

"Esteemed guests, I would like to proudly announce the official engagement of the Dark Lord's heir, (Y/n) Riddle and Theodore Nott. May the line of Salazar Slytherin reign long!"

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