P6: Lighter And a Safety Pin
info: "It's been years since Silco, Vander and (Y/N) split up. When Silco searches for his old friend again, asking them to help him teach a child he had recently taken in their 'explosive' craft, their feelings for him are reignited. The question remains if he burns for them just as bright as they do."
part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8
info: oh boy was this fun to write ;P enjoy enjoy enjoy!! I MADE IT TO 10K WORDS ON THIS FIC!!! I'M SO SO PROUD OF MYSELF!! This is my longest fanfic to date aaaaaa!!!
can you tell I'm a basic bitch basing my fanfics off of songs eheheh I worked very hard on this and asked my friend a lot if it made sense/was coherent (i love u nora <3 ) APOLOGISE FOR ANY CONFUSIONS ;-; i sincerely tried my best to be as clear as possible and hope nothing got lost :D thank you all for being so patient with me <3 I love you all, I can't wait for what you guys have to say about this :) Enjoy!!
warning: nightmares, swearing, needles, yelling, heavy smoking, fire, alcohol consumption, violence, gore/injury detail, blood, flashbacks ;P, burning, marking, yelling, angst!!!!!!, moments of fluff- happy ending because the author doesn't like leaving off on a bad note ;-;
12,337 words
The darkness was overwhelming. Overlapping every sense, enveloping you coldly, blinding you. This lasted for a while until eventually, you saw a glowing light behind your eyelids. Slowly, you begun to make out shapes in the light- minimal and orange, like that of fire- gently flickering. Perhaps a candle. You blinked slowly, eyes heavy at first and unfamiliar with this new setting. The image become clear until you were able to gaze down at the bomb in one hand, and a lit match in the other.
With a yelp, you dropped the burned stick on the ground as the fire burned you, pressing your tongue against the still-warm skin. With a defeated sigh and shake of your head to clear your head, you grabbed another match, confidently striking it against its matchbox.
It flared and burned brightly between your fingers, and you brought it to the ignition string. It quickly blazed, the warm flames licking at the exposed string hungrily, swiftly. You drew your arm back, throwing it into the empty cave, and moving back to where the others were waiting,
"What happened?" You dismissed the nervous question beside you, opting to cover your ears. The explosion that followed was muffled against your hands, but you felt it bellow in your feet, shaking the ground. As you pulled your hands back, you smiled triumphantly, grinning at the praises of the others behind you. Confidently, you strode forward, easily grabbing a nearby pickaxe that had been stuck in some dirt into your sweaty hands and walking into the tunnel you had just created with the explosive. It led to a spacious opening, and from the nearby light, you could see a few twinkles of precious rocks and minerals, along with a cave opening,
"Hey!" You called, voice bouncing off the walls, "This one was great! There's-" A sudden rumbling cut you off, drawing your attention upwards. Your heart sank, rocks rapidly falling towards you. Your feet felt like they had been glued in place, unable to move or react. The weight crashed on top of your body, pinning you to the ground quickly. Before any pain could erupt from your body, you let out a strangled scream-
Your eyes snapped open with a start, pupils wildly darting around the dark wooden ceiling above you. You breathed heavily as you felt your shivering, sweaty body move so it was seated, rustling the thin blanket that lay across you and pulling it closer. Several times, you blinked, steadying your racing heart and shaky breaths, before giving in and letting your head droop, quickly supported by your arms as they came to rest on your bent knees, fingers digging into your hair. Another nightmare,
"Again?" You glanced over to the boy next to you, now also awake, thanks to your incessant dreams.
Silco had always been a light sleeper, and you hated waking him and relaying the same events that had plagued your dreams for weeks now to his tired self. With a weak nod, you leaned back against the wall, feeling him move and sit next to you, legs touching, two bright blue eyes boring into you in the darkness. Silco had a bed- or rather a mattress- right next to yours, but you frequently found yourselves just occupying the same space out of comfort or necessity, especially in the colder months. You pressed the side of your arm against his and threw the blanket over his legs, inviting him closer,
"Is it still about the explosion in the mines?" His hushed tone asked, loud in your ear considering how close he now was and the deepness of his voice. With a small nod, you felt the gentle weight of his head against yours, "You survived," he reminded,
"I almost died," Your hushed whisper countered, clenching your hands together to stop them from shaking, "I keep reliving it. It's like I'm in a loop o-or something. I watch myself walking to the rock and yelling at you and then boom- the rocks crush me," You said, eyeing the bandage covering your arm. His hand reached out, running his fingers over the smooth material,
"Yes, but I grabbed you and you didn't get crushed," He reasoned, "Just cut," You could feel his long hair tickling your cheek as it brushed against your skin, out of its usual bun or ponytail for the night "You're alright," He reminded softly, and with another long sigh, you leaned your head more against his. His hand found your wrist, gently enveloping it and pressing his fingers against your vein, feeling as your rapid pulse slowed as he murmured reassurances, "There. It was only a dream,"
"It's just annoying having to keep reliving it," You felt his shoulders move with a sigh,
"You need to forget about it," He answered,
"That's easier said than done and you know it Silco," You replied, shifting your head to look at him. His expression was calm, his face was smooth, and his hair was unkempt considering how much he moved around, but it hung loosely around his long face. You watched as his eyes flicked away from your face and the slight indentation of his tongue in his cheek, letting you know he was thinking, before he carefully moved out of bed, pulling your wrist along with him. Stepping over the large form of Vander nearby, he motioned for you to follow after him and released you. Mimicking his careful movements, you fell in step with him as you found the rickety stairs of the building you were staying in at the moment, "I thought we weren't allowed up here," You commented, and he only glanced at you with a mysterious twinkle in his eye, silently urging you to follow him.
Emerging into the toxic air, you let it fill your lungs quickly as you glanced around the balcony passage up to another apartment. Curiously, you watched him climb onto the roof of it, jumping onto the railing and stretching his long body to grab onto the ledge of a roof and pull himself up. He turned, glancing down at your expectantly, reaching a hand down,
"No," You said bluntly, quickly turning to go back to your room,
"(Y/N)!" He called, making you huff and turn back to him, "Come on!! Stop being pathetic and come up here," He said, smirking at your glare,
"That's too high! I can't reach, I'll topple over the side and break my neck," You argued, folding your arms and walking closer to him, observing how he crouched above you,
"You've jumped longer distances and climbed higher than this," He said back, hair blowing in the wind. With a resigned sigh, you carefully climbed on the fence as he did, quickly grabbing his hand and jumping up, grabbing the roof and allowing him to pull you up. Slowly standing with him, you took his outstretched hand, "See. I told you you could do it," At his teasing, you scoffed,
"Shut up," You hissed, rolling your eyes and walking with him to wherever he was taking you. You shivered from the cold air surrounding you, "How do you just miraculously know where these places are?" You asked, smiling softly at the boy as he lead you to a ledge. He let go of your hand, sitting down and swinging his legs over the side.
The city before you was large and toxic, stretching out far. Fumes rose into the atmosphere over the buildings, disappearing into the dark sky, the moon hidden beneath thick clouds. Your home. Slowly, you sat next to him, crossing your legs and refusing to dangle them over the side as he did,
"I like to think,” He said simply, “ Unlike my brother, I like to use my brain, and not my fists," You looked back at him as he nudged your shoulder with an already lit cigarette between two fingers; an offering. You took it, furrowing your brows curiously and placing it between your lips, inhaling the smoke and letting it fill your lungs,
"Mhm," You hummed, exhaling the smoke through your nose into the air, "What do you think about up here?" You asked curiously, watching as he lifted his leg up and leaned his elbow on his knee, fingers tracing the sharp angles of his jaw. At your question, he flicked his eyes to you, watching curiously, a small smirk playing on his lips. He exhaled with a hum of his own, looking out over the horizon,
"How one day, I'll change this city," You could hear the determination in his low voice, "The people will respect me... And I'll change their lives,"
"For the better?"
"For the better," He nodded, and you chuckled at that. His gaze went back to you, lifting his brows, curiously, “What’s so funny, (Y/N)?” He asked, amused,
"Do you fancy the title King, Silco?" you asked amused, and smirked as he laughed,
"It has a nice ring to it..." he admitted, tilting his head and taking the cigarette from between your fingers,
“King Silco of Zaun?” You laughed more seeing his chest puff triumphantly, "I can't believe this,” You managed between fits of laughter, “Stars, I knew you were fancy, Silco, but this fancy?" you couldn't help the laughter that escaped you. A plume of smoke rose from his lips as he lifted his brows,
"...Fancy?" he asked amused, and when you looked back at him you could see the curious smile on his face. He looked beautiful; relaxed, joyful, and determined. You rarely saw him like this- usually, he only either snapped at those around him or charmed the space between the ears of rich Piltover scum who frequented your scamming areas. He was rarely so happy- only ever with you,
"Oh forgive me, your Majesty, your drama is enlightening," You grinned, to which he rolled his eyes and shook his head, inhaling more cigarette smoke. Moving your face closer to him you grinned, "Don't get upset, your highness I'm just joking around," You said playfully, and laughed again as he stuck the cigarette between your lips to shut you up, muttering something under his breath. “What was that?” You asked curiously, inhaling the smoke and taking the almost finished cigarette from your lips and stumping it out on the ground. He remained silent for a while, and as you looked up at him, you saw his gaze was downcast, deep in thought. Finally, he spoke slowly, deliberately,
"Someday, (Y/N), we will have it all" He vowed, standing and taking your hands in his, lifting you up to stand with him, "You'll see-" He said, holding one of your hands in his own while the other curled around you and touched your back, your own hands mirroring his placements as you looked up at him, eyes wide and heart racing in your chest. His blue eyes were focused on the city instead of you, and slowly, you took your eyes off of him to look too, "All of Zaun, all of Piltover- they will be bowing to us," He said triumphantly next to you, and you felt the gentle, welcome weight of his chin on your head as you slowly began swaying to the silence surrounding you, the calmness filling you from head to toe and chasing away the darkness, chaos and disorder that roamed in your brain.
"How did this even happen?" Voices surrounded you. Echoing between invisible black walls You could barely make out what they were saying, "How did it get to this?" Angry hisses filled the void around you. The voices collided together in some far off cave. Another planet or another world. Far away from you.
"(Y/N)?" Silco’s voice brought you back to where you lounged on your chair. Rapidly blinking, you shifted to sit up straight in the chair, stubbing the cigarette out on the wooden chair next to you. Silco stood across the room from you, leaning against a wall with brows furrowed as he stared at you, "Did you hear what Vander said?" You glanced to the larger boy next to you, brows furrowed too as he studied you. You opened your mouth, lost for words for a moment, before quickly regaining your train of thought,
"Vander, I told you I finished the bombs already-" You tried to say, but he just stood, shaking his head,
"You haven't tested them," He cut you off, "I told you they had to be done and tested by-"
"So what if they're not tested!?" You protested, "They haven't failed on me once before," You argued, watching as Vander stood, beginning to pace around,
"What if they fail this time, huh?" He argued, “What if somethin’ goes wrong? Then it’s our blood on your hands, (Y/N), just ‘cause you didn’t want to do somethin’,” You glared at his words,
"They won't fail, Vander,” You said coldly, “Stars, it's like you don't fucking trust me anymore," You scoffed, standing so suddenly the chair almost fell backwards behind you, "What? I fuck up once in the mines and I'm- I’m a liability or something?" You said, defiantly matching the older boy's glare as he moved to tower over you, standing only a few inches from your face. You could feel his warm breath against your face, but you wouldn’t relent,
"You’re not leavin’ Benzo's side ‘till you successfully test those bombs- I'm serious, (Y/N)" He said as you opened your mouth and tried to argue back, “When I get back, they better be done and ready, or you’ll have to find somewhere else to stay for the night,” He threatened, leaving with a huff. Once his back was turned, you rolled your eyes, throwing yourself back into the chair and grabbing the pack of cigarettes off a nearby table, sparking up a match and lighting the end of one of them. After taking a sharp inhale it was plucked from your fingers and placed between Silco's lips. He had now walked over to you, and stood by your chair, taking a calm drag and handing it back to you,
“He can’t be threatening me like this,” You muttered bitterly, taking a drag yourself angrily,
"Why haven't you tested them yet?" He asked curiously, leaning against the side of the chair as you rubbed your forehead,
"The accident at the mines..." You said softly, hearing him sigh next to you, "Don't dismiss me. I c-”
"I'm not dismissing anything,” He said quickly,
"Then why did you sigh?”
"I hate seeing you this bothered about something like this. You should tell Vander-”
"You think he cares!?” You scoffed, turning to look up at him with a slight glare, “The only thing he cares about is that I can make explosives, that's it. He doesn't give a shit about the fact that I can't sleep because I keep thinking those stupid rocks are going to crush and kill me” You said, sticking the cigarette back between your teeth,
"He's usually asleep,” He said, taking it from your mouth and placing it into his,
"You're not helping, Silco," You muttered out through gritted teeth, standing sharply, "Anyways- you're wasting my time. Haven't you heard? I'm bound to Benzo until I ‘perfect my craft’ and test those fucking bombs," You rolled your eyes, moving to exit the room. He quickly grabbed your hand, spinning you around to face him. You came to a halt before him, eyes shining and brimming with angry tears. He calmly took the cigarette from between his teeth and placed it back in your mouth with a small smile,
"Good luck. I believe in you, (Y/N)," He said, patting your cheek. His words laced with the putrid smoke of the cigarette fanning across your face. And with that, he let you go and followed out the door after Vander, disappearing.
Blinking rapidly to ignore the warmth that filled your cheeks, your tears gone, leaving you with damp eyes, you returned to Benzo's workshop and distracted yourself with the bombs. For some time now Silco had… a strange and profound effect on you. You'd watched him roll his eyes in annoyance a thousand times over, but recently it had made your heart race in your chest and your palms get sweaty. You had heard him speak so much, but recently, whenever he uttered your name, you felt like collapsing right there and then. You hated to say it but you had... Feelings for him. But, of course, he wouldn't feel the same way.
Silco always wanted more out of life. It's no secret he would likely see you as not good enough for him- you were just a person he lived with, and you saw the people he would flirt with at the numerous parties and raves you would frequent in the Lanes. None of them where ever you. The attraction would only ever be one-sided, and circumstantial. Simply.
Silco was also entirely focused on creating the Nation of Zaun. Tired of Piltover turning their blind eye on the struggling undercity and treating its people like scum, you had no other choice than to rebel. It just so happened Silco and Vander became the leaders. Rousing the crowds against the Topsiders and planning the fight for your independence. A shared, beautiful dream- a dream that he was utterly devoted to.
Before long, your bombs were tested and reported back to Vander upon his arrival back home. He barely thanked you, grunting something under his nose and swiftly leaving again, leaving you sulking, alone in the house.
Fiddling with a few pieces of metal you had around- linking and unlinking them from chains you had picked up, you glanced up as the door opened again. Silco stumbled in. His hair, which was usually gathered in a loose ponytail, was falling out of its place around his face, blue eyes hazy. He swayed gently from side to side as he attempted to stand straight, eventually leaning against the door frame and gazing at you. A light pink dusted his cheeks, and the first few buttons of his collar had been unbuttoned. Silco was certainly the most well dressed in your group, caring far more about his appearance than the others, who simply dressed out of convenience. You tilted your head, eyeing the green bottle in his hands,
"You're back early," You mused, smiling back at him,
"Come with me, (Y/N)," His speech wasn’t entirely clear, a slight slur to his speech. He held a hand out for you to take, “I want to show you something,” He said cryptically. Slowly you stood, approaching him and taking his hand in yours. It was soft, except for the scars and a few fresh cuts on the back of his hand,
"Did you get into another fight?” He nodded, taking a long drink from the bottle and pressing it into your hands. You eyed it, lifting it up to the light as you walked outside with him and swishing around the remnants of the beverage inside. You brought it up to your nose and winced at the strong alcoholic smell emanating from it with a grimace. You looked over to your drunk companion, "Did you win?" you asked curiously,
"I always win," He said, teeth flashing as he sent you a smug grin. You laughed,
"So this is a celebratory drink?" You asked, shaking the bottle making the liquid audibly slosh around in it. He nodded again, this time humming lowly,
"And I'm rescuing you before Vander comes for you again," He huffed, rolling his eyes, "He's being an asshole again,"
"When is he not?" You asked, making him laugh and grip your hand tighter in his, pulling you along through the crowded Lanes, now that the sun was beginning to set, “What set him off this time?” You asked, and watching him shrug and roll his eyes in annoyance, gently squeezing your hand,
“Fuck knows,” He muttered, pulling you along. For a moment, you fell silent, focusing on following him through a particularly thick crowd that appeared,
"Where are you taking me?" You asked when he was finally close by again, "And should I even trust you?" You asked, raising your brows as he stumbled and just barely caught himself from falling over. You laughed slightly at his drunken antics and moved a hand to hold his arm as well, "Stars, how much did you drink, Silco? You're only tiny... Don't tell me Vander let you get this wasted," He scoffed,
"I can easily out-drink Vander," He said with a confident smirk,
"Maybe in your dreams," You said playfully, making him a glare, "Silco, he is twice your size in every way. There's no possible way you would be able to take him on in a drinking competition- you remember last time?" You said, "I don't... Stars, how did we even get home that night..?" You chuckled to yourself, glancing at your companion who had gone quiet and let go of you, "Silco?" You asked as he suddenly stopped walking. Stopping too, you glanced over your surroundings and noticed you were now in an alleyway scarce of people. Those who were there simply watched you but didn’t approach, wary of your companion and his reputation in the Lanes. You turned your gaze and watched him walk down another alley, touching the wall of a building to steady and support himself as he disappeared behind the wall, “Silco?” You repeated, following him and groaning, “Silco, get out of the trash- I’m not going to sleep anywhere near you if you smell like trash again,” You said, folding your arms and watching as he moved to a pile of trash beneath a trash shoot and begun digging through it. You audibly cringed, “You’re sleeping outside again,” You huffed, but nothing seemed to be getting his attention. With an eye roll, you walked over to him, watching as he picked up a shiny object from the trash pile, “What, are you a crow now?” You asked, amused, and gently nudged his crouched form with your foot. He finally looked up at you and you couldn’t help but smile warmly.
He looked like the boy you remembered seeing all those years ago when you were so young. Those same curious, round blue eyes boring into your form curiously as you huddled under whatever scraps you could find shelter from the cold. So young and innocent.
Silco and innocent didn’t belong in the same sentence anymore. As handsome and young as he looked, your eyes grew wide at the sudden appearance of a spark between you two. A real one. He pressed on the contraption again, admiring the sparks it gave off,
“Lighter,” Is all he said, standing and holding it out for you to take into your hands. You hummed, looking it over, and repeating ‘lighter’ to him. Flicking it revealed it was still functional- likely just out of fuel. Your suspicions were confirmed when you managed to open it and noticed the almost empty fuel cartridge. Whoever threw this out was clearly some idiot with a tiny brain who didn’t know how a lighter worked. Waste of money for them, but a gain for you. With a small hum, you grabbed the bottle, and with great care, poured in some of the remaining alcohol, all the while being watched by your drunk friend,
“Try it now,” You handed it back to him after closing the cartridge, and whipping off the remaining alcohol on your clothes. You smiled as the lighter, once he flicked it, gave off a constant flame,
“You fixed it,” He said surprised, following you out of the alleyway,
“It’s easy to fix that which is not broken,” You looked at him, transfixed by his suddenly warm gaze. His eyes were still hazy and glazed over, and clearly, he was still drunk, “Besides, fixing things is easy,” You said, but the rest of what you wanted to say was lost on your tongue as he loomed over you, looking down at you for a long moment. You were stopped, standing outside of the alley and staring at each other for a moment, unspeaking. That was until you felt the cool lighter pressing into your hands. Momentarily breaking your trance, you glanced back up at Silco, watching as he nodded his head to the side, in a silent request for you to follow him.
Now firmly gripping the lighter to stop your hands from shaking, you followed him curiously. Silco’s brain was already a mystery to you sober, but drunk? If you could decode anything, you deserved to be hired as a detective on the spot. But now, you honestly could not say where he was leading you and with what intentions, and that said a lot. You grew up in these lanes. How did he always miraculously just find areas you had no idea existed until right now?
You looked around the open area. It appeared to be a river filled with toxic waste from either of the cities, stretching out far into the horizon, the black water easily reflecting the lights of the city. It looked beautifully dangerous. You blinked quickly,
“How did you-” Turning quickly, your eyes widened as you saw he was already climbing up a nearby rooftop, “Silco get down from there!! Silco! You’re going to hurt yourself, you menace- ugh-” You groaned, quickly following after him and trying to grab his leg. Moving just out of the way, you groaned in frustration, “Silco!!” You yelled. His head poked out from where he was on the roof, and he stuck his tongue out before disappearing, “Silco, you rat, come back!” You yelled, groaning as you shakily got onto the same trash can he had used to get up, stuffing the bottle into a larger pocket on the inside of a jacket you were wearing. You reached up, grabbing the metal ledge and attempting to pull yourself up. Not having the same strength caused you to wince, letting go of the ledge and falling back with a clatter on the bins, “Come back and help me! Don’t leave me here,” You said, biting your cheek as your tone changed to pleading, “Silco?” You asked, worriedly now as he didn’t respond. Your eyes widened with hope as you saw him peeking down at you again,
“You seriously can’t get up here?” He asked, and you glared as he raised his brows,
“I’m not strong and my arms hurt- did you forget my injuries,” You said, and glared as he laughed, “Get down here,” You demanded, glaring more as he moved to reach his arms down to you, “No, no, no, I’m not going up, you come down,”
“Aw, come on (Y/N),” He said with a grin, “The view from here is so much better. You’ll love it,”
“I don’t care about the view, Silco, I care about you s-so that you don’t get hurt,” You finished quickly, blinking rapidly at your words, and folding your arms together. Seeing him begin to move back you called his name desperately, to which he laughed again and reached his hands down once more,
“Come on (Y/N),” He insisted, “Trust me on this,” He added. Slowly, you reached your arms back up, carefully jumping up off the bin and gasping as he grabbed onto your arms, pulling you up like you weighed nothing. For being so thin, you often forgot Silco still had some strength. Certainly, nothing compared to Vander or Sevika, or even Benzo, but he was still strong- stronger than you. Gasping for air, your eyes glanced up to see him smiling at you, crooked teeth on display, “See? You did it!” He said proudly, shaking your shoulder before he turned and walked along the roof, producing a cigarette from one of his pockets,
“Silco, do I need to put a leash on you?” You called, quickly composing yourself and quickly following him so that you didn’t lose him. You sighed as you followed him, catching up to him eventually. “You know where you’re going at least?” You asked and sighed as he didn’t respond again. You quickly realised it was useless to try and communicate anything with him, and gave up, “You’re awfully quiet,” you decided to point out, watching as he slowed to a stop, now on a higher rooftop, and sat down. Joining him, you focused on trying to calm yourself.
Glancing over at him, you noticed he was reaching for the bottle sticking out of your pocket. Quickly snatching it into your hands and moving it out of his reach, you laughed softly at his frown, or rather pout,
“Don’t even try- you’ve had more than enough and I’m not dragging you off of here when you pass out,” You said, and when he leant over you to reach for the bottle again, your eyes widened, pressing a hand to his shoulder and gently pushing to stop him. He easily moved back with an annoyed roll of his eyes, which surprised you. From the numerous arm wrestles you’d entertain yourselves with on slow days, and his previous display of strength, easily pulling you up onto the roof, you knew he was strong. It made you feel warm inside knowing he would so easily just relent to you. You watched him calmly lean his arms back, looking over the waters ahead,
“It’s quiet here,” He said softly, voice quiet and soft. You hoped he was starting to sober up. With a small nod, your own gaze looked to the water. You dared to lean your head out and look down at the pier you had been standing on a moment before, peering at your face reflected in the murky liquid bellow, as well as the muddy soles of Silco’s boots next to you. With a hum of agreement, you lifted your head up to see him, now holding the burning lighter in his hands,
“Be careful with it,” You said, “You did find it in the trash,” You reminded, watching the steady orange flame, then glancing up at his face. In the dimming light, it illuminated his face in a warm glow, the bright flame reflecting in his pupil mysteriously as he stared, transfixed. For a moment, you allowed yourself to watch him, before sticking your hands in your pockets to find something to eat. You usually kept bits in your pockets so you could eat them later-
A sudden prick to your finger caused you to yelp in surprise, and you heard the lighter click off as you drew the finger from your pocket and into your mouth to staunch the drop of blood. With a small frown, you reached into your pocket, pulling out a safety pin that hadn’t been pinned back. Hearing Silco tsk besides you brought your attention to him,
“What?” You mused, taking your finger from your mouth and examining the dot of red liquid on the pad of your finger, “The pin wasn’t in safety mode,” You said playfully. Glancing at the older boy, you saw he was looking down at your finger too, before quickly averting his gaze to the lighter in his hand. You may have been mistaken due to the low light but his pale cheeks flushed for a moment, and his tongue darted out to wet his lips. Your eyes widened and you looked at the pin in embarrassment, trying to ignore the thoughts that had suddenly entered your brain. Licking off the once again pooling blood, you started to clip the pin back into place before stopping, an idea breaking through your embarrassment. You looked back to him, curiously,
“Silco?” You asked, not looking at him, “What if we got marks together?” You asked, looking at him. You smiled, amused as he stared at you with wide eyes, “Just small ones- like tattoos! Like, something that we’ll always remember each other by,” You suggested. You lifted up the safety pin and grabbed the lighter from him, flicking it on and putting the sharp tip into the flames to sterilise it,
“Matching burns, you mean?” He asked uncertainly, though he was clearly intrigued, having shifted his whole body to watch you curiously. You nodded,
“Mhm, like… Maybe on our palms?”
“No, that’ll easily get infected,” He said. At least he wasn’t denying your idea fully. You hummed, thinking,
“Then where?” You pondered, looking up at him. You watched as he looked down at his hand, turning over his palm and examining his already scar littered hand, marks of numerous knife fights- victorious or not; some fresh, some now- covering the surface as he searched for a spot untouched by the violence he experienced daily,
“Here?” He pointed to the side of his hand near his pinky finger, dragging a finger back and forth along his skin. It would cross against the other scars, but it would do. You nodded, glancing at your own hand and humming,
“This will hurt,” You reminded him after a while, watching the needle begin to glow red with heat. You glanced up at him, watching as he took a swig from the bottle you had specifically moved away from him so he couldn’t reach it. The smirk and wink he gave you as he caught your stare before taking another sip made your stomach flip, and you had to look away and pray the lighter wouldn't illuminate your blushing cheeks to him, “Okay, give me your hand,” You said a few moments later, watching as he moved the bottle away and stretched his hand out in front of you.
Clicking the lighter off, you quickly pressed the needle against his skin and listened as he sharply inhaled beside you, hand reaching out to your arm and squeezing tightly. You let him, simply blushing at the sudden closeness, even letting his head drop against your shoulder once you pulled the needle away. Clicking on the lighter again and picking up his hand in yours, you muttered an apology as you examined the mark,
“That’ll look cool when it heals,” You assured, reaching up and gently patting the side of his face, watching as he straightened, looking at the new scar,
“It burns,” He said with a frown,
“We’ll run it under cold water when we get home,” You said, before handing him the safety pin and lighter, watching as he repeated the process you had done just a moment ago,
“It’s gonna be on your skin forever,” He said, watching you,
“I know,” You assured, “It’ll be cool. Besides, I’m not in this alone,” You said, glancing at his hand that bore the mark, “And it’s not the first burn I got, and it won't be the last,” You said, running a hand over your arm. From not being careful, or not paying attention, you accumulated multiple dark burn scars along your arms- always eager to freak out other street kids with them and tell tales of creatures that came for you that you bravely fended off. You always had a natural charm for children that Silco and Sevika both teased you about endlessly, but you personally found it sweet. You were all in this shit together- if you could provide some entertainment for the younger ones, it was a pleasure,
“Hmmph,” He grumbled, unsatisfied by your answer, “Have some of that. It doesn’t hurt as much as it would sober,” He said, eyes darting from the needle to the glass bottle beside you. Rolling your eyes, you picked it up, glancing at the liquid in the green glass and bringing the bottle to your lips. Fighting off the urge to cringe at the heavily alcoholic scent, you took a large mouthful, coughing and cringing once you swallowed,
“Fucking stars above that is rancid,” You choked, and glared as Silco laughed, “No wonder you’re this wasted. Silco- what is this? Pure gasoline?” You asked,
“Hah- wouldn’t you like to know,” He said with a grin, looking back at the needle,
“That’s why I asked, Rat boy,” You sniffled, but bravely took another sip, immediately regretting it. Coughing and spluttering again as you slammed the bottle down you spat harshly at the water bellow, “Fuck- we really don’t have anything to wash that down with?” He shook his head, “How are you alive right now?” You asked as you sat back down, shuddering at the taste that still lingered in your mouth,
“Practice makes perfect,” He said, glancing up at you and grinning at your disgusted expression, “Come here,” He said gently, and you noticed the needle was now glowing brightly once again. Gingerly reaching your hand out, you felt your heart beginning to race in your chest as he clicked the lighter off and submerged you in almost complete darkness again. The realisation of what was about to happen both excited and terrified you, paired with the anticipation of now being in the dark, you exhaled softly,
“Will it- FUCK!” you yelped, unprepared for the sharp sting that hit your skin. Quickly, he reached for you, gripping your wrist to keep your hand from moving. You shut your eyes tightly, tilting your head away and letting out a small wince of pain, but felt pleasantly surprised at the feeling of his hand gently caressing your wrist. Finally, he took the needle off and let you go, allowing you to gently cradle your sore hand, “Fuck that- that was so much more painful than I expected it to be,” You said shakily, and glanced down at the red mark, feeling him remove the needle
“You were the one who suggested this,” Silco reminded, clicking the lighter back on and examining your hand carefully, “No turning back now,” He added, and you glared,
“I know,” You huffed, letting out a small wince as you moved your hand unintentionally, “And you agreed,” You smiled softly,
“How unfortunate for myself,” He hummed, returning your smile, and moving his fingers to gently skim against your hand, “It appears we’re bound together now. Forever,” He added, a playful glint in his eye. Laughing out of happiness, you looked back at your hands, watching as his fingers soothingly dragged across your skin. When they came too close to the scar, you audibly winced,
“Too close,” You hissed in pain. You heard him tsk and let go of you, drawing back,
“Come here,” He muttered, and you glanced at him to see him opening his arms as an invitation to hug him. You shuffled closer to him, allowing him to gently hug you close to him. It was comforting, especially now, and rare. Although you usually slept together and woke embracing, actually hugging Silco like this was uncommon. He hated the closeness. He barely allowed you to do so soberly and consciously. When drunk like this, he was much more lenient, but it still pleasantly surprised you that he initiated this hug. Big words... Your head was spinning, letting you know your own sobriety was rapidly disappearing. You heard him mutter something, but feeling too comfortable and suddenly very sleepy in his arms, you simply hummed and shut your eyes, face pressing into his chest,
“Can I seriously ask what was in that bottle?” You asked after a few moments of silence, smiling at the warmth of his body against your cheek, “I wanna know if I’m gonna be hacking it all up tomorrow or just dying,” He chuckled, and you could feel the vibrations against your face,
“You didn’t answer my question, (Y/N),” He said, and you glanced up at him, “I asked if you were happy,” His soft tone surprised you, and you shifted so you could look up at him, face now touching his shoulder,
“Happy? Course I’m happy,” You said, your voice becoming muffled as you pressed your face into him again. If he was willingly offering to hug you, you weren’t going to waste the opportunity, “I’m always happy whenever I’m with you,” You wouldn’t admit it soberly, but your drunk confidence clearly began shining through,
“Is that so?” He asked, amused at your bold declaration. You nodded your head against him with a satisfied hum and glanced down as he took your injured hand into his own injured one, drawing them close to examine the matching marks,
“I guess we have to stick to each other forever,” You said, “I think these scars are permanent,”
“They certainly are…” Silco said softly, and as you shut your eyes, dozing off, you could swear he pressed a kiss to your fingers. Or just squeezed your hand. How could you tell- you were too sleepy to care.
“(Y/N)?” A voice, breaking through the darkness, “Stars why aren’t you waking up?” A whisper, “(Y/N)!?” A plea. A yell. An incoherent yell, “Get them up- we need to leave now,” Desperation. Your body felt like a feather, or as if it had been plunged into water, gliding off the cold floor and into the vast emptiness.
“I don’t like what Vander’s doing…” Silco muttered, on the floor in front of your bed while you sat on top of it. It had been a few weeks since the two of you had given yourselves the matching marks, which had begun to heal quite well- yours slower due to you constantly fidgeting and picking at the scabs, but with Silco periodically smacking your hand away as a reminder not to, it was looking promising. You cherished the painful mark, a small reminder of him at all times,
“What is he doing now?” You mused, picking at the skin around your fingernails, “And besides, when have you ever liked listening to anyone else but yourself?” You said playfully, shoving his shoulder gently with your foot, “Let alone Vander, of all people,”
“That’s not the point… It’s… He’s changing,” He said, leaning his head back against the bed. His eyes moved from you to the ceiling, lost in thought,
“How?” You asked curiously, dropping your hands to lean on your knees and watching him. He moved back, humming and beginning to tap his fingers against his leg gently,
“Don’t know. Mentally I suppose. The other day, he lost a game of cards to a known cheat. He didn’t beat him, or threaten him- he just walked off. Then when he caught me trying to get the money he lost back from the boy, he just dragged me off and told me to leave him alone,” He shook his head, “Blabbering something about how we’re ‘better than this, Silco’, and ‘not everyone we meet is an enemy, Silco’, and ‘we shouldn’t fight our own, Silco’” He scoffed, baring his teeth, growing in anger with each sentence, “It’s ridiculous,”
“You didn’t bring Sevika along?” You said, raising your brows, “That’s your biggest mistake. She knows her shit with cards, and frankly, she wouldn’t let him cheat her. She’s too good,” You focused on your nails again, picking at some dirt beneath them. Silco huffed from below you, standing sharply,
“It wasn’t about winning a game of cards, it was about taking back what was unfairly stolen from him, (Y/N),” He snapped, beginning to pace slowly around the room in measured steps, “He just let that cheat walk over him and didn’t retaliate… It isn’t fair,” He muttered on. You watched his slender fingers withdraw a knife from where he had it strapped to his hip and flip it through his fingers, careful of the blood-stained blade, “Had it been me he cheated, he wouldn’t have made it out alive…” Silco hissed, “Vander is growing weak,” he settled, watching the blade moving in his hand in expertly practised movements,
“You have been spending too much time with Sevika,” You said, rolling your eyes as you moved to find a cloth to clean his knife with,
“(Y/N) you can’t deny that I’m wrong!” He said, exasperated, “He’s… Changing! You’ve seen it too!” He said, running a hand through his unkempt hair. If only he let you brush it, “He brings you food and asks if you’re okay and talks to you. He never used to do that,” He said,
“You mean to tell me you’re worried that he’s being caring to the people around him?” You asked, raising your brows,
“He’s becoming soft…” He said coldly, eyes narrowing, “And weak,”
“Soft doesn’t mean weak,” You tried to counter, “Maybe he-”
“I’m sorry- whose side are you on?” He outwardly questioned, glaring. The knife stilled in his hand and pointed at you. You flicked your eyes from the blade to your friend, watching as he glared before blinking rapidly, “Are you weak like him?” he said in a low, almost menacing tone. It was the same one he would taunt those unlucky enough to cross him,
“Don’t even try to do that to me, Silco, it won’t work,” You said, your tone cold as you glared back, sharply standing from your bed, “You know full well I could set this place ablaze in minutes, so unless you want to keep a roof over your head, stop trying to warp me against Vander,” You said lowly, clenching your hands tightly,
Silence fell between you as you challenged each other from the sides of the room. You watched Silco place his tongue in his cheek, lost in thought. With a small groan, he dropped the knife from his hand and let it clatter to the floor before he stalked to exit out of the room,
“One day,” He said lowly, gloweirng at you over his shoulder, “You may be given the choice to choose between one of us,” He said threateningly, tilting his head up as he saw your eyes widen in reaction to his words “I hope you do so correctly,” With that, he disappeared through the doorway.
For a moment, you considered his words seriously. Did he just threaten his own brother in front of you? Did he threaten you? Surely he was joking or… Fooling you somehow. He wasn’t serious about picking sides. You looked to the ceiling, trying to focus on your rampant thoughts. A choice between Vander and Silco. They led the rebellion against Piltover together, they were close, like brothers, and you supported them both with your life. You too were dedicated to the cause. To the creation of Zaun. But were you prepared to lay down everything for it? Did you have Silco’s ambition or Vander’s temperament? That’s truly what the choice was, thinking more on it now. That and violence or peace.
In the end, you scoffed at his words, shaking your head to dismiss them. It was too early for this,
“Drama queen,” You muttered to yourself, walking closer to where he had dropped the knife. Picking it up, you looked over the jagged blade, stained with dried blood of whoever had unfortunatly crossed Silco’s path and sighed deeply,
“He’s right, you know,” You nearly jumped out of your skin with a small squeak at the sudden voice that filled the quiet room. Your anxiety was quickly replaced by anger as Sevika’s laughter echoed through the room, “Damn, you’re still such a scaredy-cat,” She grinned, walking further into the room, a lit cigarette hanging from her lips as she sat on one of the beds,
“Why do you think sneaking up on me all the time is funny?” You asked, unamused. She simply grinned, exhaling the smoke she had in her mouth,
“Because you always get scared,” She said, and you rolled your eyes,
“Right- I forgot you’re a bitch in the mornings,” You huffed, “What do you mean he’s right?” You asked, folding your arms. You watched Sevika grimace at your words, glancing out of the small window above your bed. The glass was cracked and dirty, and the fumes outside meant you could barely make out anything. Luckily, a green light still cast its light into the room, splintering and illuminating her features,
“Vander’s weak,” She simply stated, echoing Silco’s earlier words, rolling the cigarette between her fingers and letting the smoke dance circles into the air, before placing it into her lips again, “He is changing,” she confirmed,
“We all changed,” You countered, “We’re growing up. Change is natural and unavoidable,” She shook her head,
“You don’t understand because they don’t tell you,” You straightened at her words, letting your arms drop to your sides as you walked closer to her,
“What don’t they tell me?” You asked suspiciously. Watching her groan and glance away, realising she had slipped up. Your eyes widened, and you quickly pointed the tip of the knife at her you stepped closer, “Sevika, what are they hiding?” You asked,
“Stop pointing that at me if you know what’s good for you,” Not daring to pick a fight you’d definitely lose, you let your hand fall to your side, moving the blade away from her, “Vander needs your bombs for the bridge,” She sighed deeply, ��They told you they’re planning on trying to get their message to Piltover but not how,” You gaped at her,
“They’ll use violence?” You asked,
“Silco wants violence,” She explained, “He’s convinced that’s the only way to get any message up to Piltover. Doing something that’ll bring them down here. Vander isn’t… He’s not co-operating anymore,”
“What does that mean?” She went quiet, “Sevika?” You asked, only to be met with more silence, “Sevika, why does Vander need my bombs?” You asked,
“That’s the issue… He hasn’t said anything about it, I wouldn’t know-”
“Why does he want me to complete them then?” You asked, frustrated, “If he’s not going to use them, why waste my time making them? Is he appealing to Silco? Is he… Is- I don’t fucking know,” You sighed, annoyed as Sevika shrugged, taking the cigarette and stumping it out into a freshly cleaned ashtray by the side of your bed,
“He mentioned he’s ‘growing up',” You scoffed, “I know,” Sevika replied, taking Silco’s knife from you and playing with it in her hands. After a moment, she looked to you, “(Y/N),” You turned your attention to her, “You know he means well,” She said, “They both do. I just… Silco is a good leader. When I look at him, I see strength and devotion. When I look at him, I see a better life for us all. He just lacks the experience,” She said, “I don’t see the same with Vander,” She admitted. You only nodded your head, “But Vander has the drive and the children of Zaun’s best intentions in his heart. That’s the issue,” She said,
“I don’t like this,” You muttered, “Something’s gonna happen. I’m calling it now. I don’t know what but it’s… Tense,”
“It is,” Sevika agreed, handing the knife back to you, “Go give this back to him. It’ll give you an excuse to talk this out,” She said,
“We both know Silco doesn’t just carry one knife. He won’t miss it,” You said playfully, but the smile you had quickly faded,
“You guys don’t usually fight like this,” She pointed out,
“I know,” You acknowledged, “It’s strange…” You agreed, sighing softly and glancing at the door. You felt a heavy hand on your shoulder and you glanced over at the girl, now standing beside you and towering over you,
“You guys are close. Just talk to him and prove you’re loyal,” You nodded,
“Thanks, Sevika,” You gave her a sincere smile, something she reciprocated before leaving you,
“Don’t mention it,” she said softly, disappearing out of the room,
“Don’t hurt them more than they already are,” Swimming through the darkness again “They don’t need any more injuries,”
“I’m trying, boss,” A woman's voice. Raspy and low, “It’s hard to be careful and quick,” Annoyance,
“Well try harder,” No laughter. Their voices and footsteps faded away,
You found Silco easily, up on the rooftops of your apartment again, one hand tucked into his pocket, while the other bringing a cigarette to his lips as he leaned against a wall. There were peaks of the orange sky that indicated a blooming sunset around him, and you caught sight of the smoke rising from his lips in large clouds, catching on the chilling breeze and dragging them away swiftly. Hearing the creaks of the metal corrugated roof beneath your feet, his attention focused on you, blue eyes calm as you approached,
“I spoke with Sevika,” You said, pulling a pack of your own cigarettes out and producing one of your own. You stalled some time by fumbling with the matches, but were surprised to feel Silco’s hands against your own, taking the box from you and lighting your cigarette. With a small nod of thanks, you placed yourself next to him on the wall, inhaling the smoke,
“And?” He asked. He expected an answer- perhaps to his question from before. You tapped your foot against the floor, sighing softly,
“And what?” You asked, but he shook his head,
“You know what,” You could feel the ice still clinging to his words. You let out a small sigh, letting the smoke out of your mouth,
“Truthfully, I don’t want to choose between either of you,” You frowned, letting yourself move off the wall and begin pacing infront of him, “I don’t want people hurt, but I know that with Piltover, violence is the easiest way to get to them,” You sighed, running a hand through your hair, “Stars, I… Do you know what Vander wants with my bombs?” You asked, stopping your movements and staring at Silco, “Sevika either doesn’t know or won’t tell me. You saw yourself how much he wanted me to get them finished. If he wants things to go peacefully, why does he need the bombs?” you pondered,
“Plan B, perhaps,” He breathed, smoke rising from his lips and catching on the wind picking up around you, “I don’t truely know what exactly Vander is doing or planning nowadays… He’s keeping things to himself and not talking to me or Sevika. It’s making me nervous,” He glanced at you, “Haven’t you noticed it?”
“Well, it’s not the first time you’ve been keeping secrets from me,” You countered, returning to the wall next to him as you heard him sigh, head falling back against the wall, “Why do you two not trust me? I understand you’re brothers, I know that. But you tell Sevika about Vander’s wavering attitudes and not me?” You asked with a frown. Looking at Silco, you noticed he had an unreadable expression on his face. It was curious, usually, you had known him for so long but he’d never looked like this; it was an unfamiliar emotion that confused you. He looked like he wanted to speak but the words escaped him, falling short, dissolving on his tongue before he could speak them into the wind,
“Do you forgive me?” He asked, “For calling you weak? You’re far from that, (Y/N). I shouldn’t have said it,” He said, sparing you a glance. His head was hung in a sort of apologetic way, hair framing his face nicely, and he looked everywhere but you. You bit your lip, considering his words.
With a sigh, you extended his knife back to him, accompanied by a small nod. He returned one of his own, putting the knife back in its place and leaning next to you once more, closer now, so your shoulders touched,
“You know I value loyalty, (Y/N),” He spoke softly, voice low, “Especially those closest to me, those I share a home, and a bed with,” turning to meet his blue gaze, he quickly averted his eyes, opting to take another long drag of his cigarette, “I’m… Close to you in a way I don’t think I’ve ever been with anyone,” he admitted, and you simply stared at him, the words making your head go blank. Whatever else he had to say was left unsaid, and as you looked at him, you saw he was, once again, lost deep in thought, the cigarette in his fingers idly letting off smoke. His brows were furrowed and his blue eyes were cast downwards, unmoving. He felt your stare but said nothing. And in turn, you didn’t speak. You finished your cigarette, throwing it to the floor and stepping on it, before making your way back inside the building, “(Y/N),” You turned sharply, maybe too sharply. Maybe you wanted to hear him say something else. Maybe he wanted to say something else. Or finish what he was saying. Instead, you nodded your head,
“I forgive you, Silco,” You turned the corner and glanced at your shaking hands as you headed back inside.
“How are they?” Footsteps increasing and decreasing in volume. Pacing, “Will they live?” Desperate,
“Their injuries aren’t severe,” A rough voice- close. An unfamiliar accent, “But they have a concussion and potential damage to the brain. That explains the lapsing consciousness,” cold surrounded you. A sudden bright light and a figure. The air was heavy, and scents of smoke and chemicals filled your lungs,
“I’m asking if they will live,” The words punctured the air. The louder voice became muffled. Darkness again.
You hadn’t expected your choice to have to come so soon,
“Sevika?” You addressed the girl, who sat in her room on her bed polishing a sword “Do you know where Silco and Vander are?” You asked, finally appearing from the workshop. Usually, if he had somewhere to be the following morning, Silco would let you know the night before. If it was urgent and he didn’t have time, he would always return by midday, eat whatever food was available, and scurry off again. He did neither of them today. Sevika glanced up at you with a disinterested shrug,
“Why should I care what they’re doing?” She grunted,
“I thought you and Vander were close,” You folded your arms,
“We’re friends,” She glanced up at you, “Are they not back yet?” She shook her head, “Then they’re busy. Leave them alone and go back to doing whatever it is you do,”
“I would but my brain won’t leave it alone, they’re usually back by now, even for a moment- to eat something, or get more money,” You said worriedly,
“Maybe you should tell your brain to shut the fuck up,” She said, clearly more annoyed than usual, “They’re probably just busy and got caught up, and haven’t checked the time,” Biting your tongue, you moved back to your bed to wait. The hours ticked by, and as much as you tried to make yourself busy, your worry ate away at you, a weight settling in your chest. You glanced up as you heard movement in the main room of the apartment. Setting down two knives- one had been used to carve something into the hilt of the other- you walked to the door and leaned against it, watching Sevika stretch in the centre,
“They’re not back yet?” You asked, shrinking slightly behind the doorframe at the glare she gave you, clearly startled,
“No, if they were, Silco would go straight to you,” She said angrily. Seeing you open your mouth to speak again, she quickly interrupted you, “If you’re so fucking worried about him, why don’t you go find him yourself!?” She asked loudly, gesturing to the door,
“Fine. I will,” You said, retrieving the sharper of the two knives and leaving the room, throwing on your jacket, ignoring the burning glare Sevika gave you as you passed her.
As soon as you set foot outside and the door slammed behind you, your realised you had absolutely no clue where to even start looking. Walking down the street you glanced up, hearing the booms and cracks of thunder overhead. Delightful. You sped through the streets, dashing between the crowds and you pulled your jacket over your head as the rain began pelting you from overhead, flashes of lightning illuminating your feet. Blindly, you searched for the boy in the places he brought you to, hoping and praying to the stars above you would find him. Alive.
“They were found just like this? On the street?” More voices. They were so muffled, you could barely hear them. They were far away,
“Yes… The culprits appear to be your own enforcers,” Your body could not shiver,
“Shit… We’ll- I’ll find out who-”
“You’d better be quick and find them before I do. Because when I do, you’ll have hell to pay, Marcus,” Venom. The voice held nothing but venom,
It was the abandoned pier. The wind had picked up and was harsh as it whipped your jacket around, drops of rain scattering across your cheeks. You were utterly drenched and shivering hard, but you had to find him.
He was there.
To your surprise, you found him, body shaking and moving with each heavy breath he took mouth agape and audibly heaving and choking. Water dripped off of him, causing the hard wet pavement around him reflecting the lights around, mixing with a dark substance with it. Blood.
His wild gaze snapped to yours, you saw fear in his… one blue eye. The side of his face was badly massacred, dripping blood like tears down his face. Quickly rushing to his side, you grabbed his arm, throwing it over your shoulder and helping him up, welcoming his weight on top of you,
“Fucking stars above, Silco what happened!?” You asked desperately, clinging to his side and helping him as you stumbled back to your home together,
“Vander…” He managed through gritted teeth, and that’s all you needed for now. You knew the culprit. Someone you had looked up to your whole life. His own brother. It filled you with such spite and hatred, if you weren’t holding on to the person you cared for the most, you would drop him and find that fucker yourself and beat him to the ground and make sure he never- “(Y/N),” As if being able to read your mind, you managed to hear his choked, urgent voice, realising you had slowed your movements, blinded by rage,
“Sorry! Sorry- fuck,” You hissed, letting go of him and letting him lean against the wall of the house. Trying the door, you found it was locked- Sevika was gone. Your eyes widened, not bothering to fumble through your pockets for the keys, as you quickly began to ram your shoulder into it, barely registering Silco’s weak voice calling your name. It finally gave way, sending you toppling inside and almost falling over. You rushed to grab his arm and pull him inside, dragging him to your bed and not-so-gently shoving him onto it, before grabbing the nearby first aid kit. You left momentarily, finding a bowl and filling it with clean water, returning promptly to beginning to look over his wounds.
There were bruises already forming around his neck, the deep purples and large red finger marks appeared against his pale skin. His eye caught your attention again- it was badly beaten and beginning to swell, but amongst the purples and red, you noticed a dangerous black that made your heart clench with fear. You soaked a cloth with some water and reached up to move some of the hair sticking to his face from the residual water, sweat, and blood away. There were deep gashes across his face, sharply cutting into his flesh and into his eye- if that’s what you could even call it anymore. It was likely the work of a knife, judging by their smoothness. As gently as you could, you pressed the cloth to his face. Immediately, he cried out in pain, hands reaching out for you. Harshly, he grabbed your hand, not to pull it away but to seek some sort of comfort. The other gripped your shirt, bunching it up in his bloody fists, bloody knuckles shining in the low light,
“Fuck-” He hissed, and you could feel him tremble against you as you carefully cleaned his face. Moving back to examine him more thoroughly, you grabbed some alcohol to disinfect his wounds, along with cotton pads. You brought your hand to touch his uncut cheek, bringing his attention up to you,
“What happened?” You tried to distract him, gently tucking some of the longer strands of hair behind his ear and glancing at the cloth that was beginning to stain red. He grimaced as you pulled it away, and noticed by now his face had stopped bleeding. You carefully cleaned any residual blood and grime from around his eye, giving you better access to it and the wounds around, before taking the alcohol into your hands and letting the cotton pads soak it in. You couldn’t really tell what had happened to it- it was swollen shut of course but it felt like there was more to it than shown on the surface, “Where- where you by the river?” He gave a weak nod. Worriedly, you began to disinfect the area, grimacing as he winced again at the burning sensation “Silco, you were gone all day-”
“I know,” He said weakly, ragged breaths coming from his lips, one of his hands resting loosely on your arm as you worked on disinfection his face, trying to see if there was anything you should stitch up, “Vander. He did this,” His tone was low, and you firmly put a hand to his chest as he tried to stand up,
“Do not move, you’re going to hurt yourself more,” You said sternly, shifting to cage him in with your body, throwing the used, red cotton pads to the floor. You cast him a small glare and watched as he settled against the pillows with a huff, “You can’t leave here until I finish cleaning this- if this get’s infected-”
“I refuse to stay here with him,” The coldness in his voice made you shiver, and your hands fumbled with the bandages you were readying,
“Where did he even go?” You asked with a frown, pressing gauze against his face gently and reaching with your hand to prop his neck up so you could easily wrap a bandage around his head, holding the gauze in place,
“I left him there. Got out of the waters before he could… He could kill me,” Your hands fumbled at the words, swallowing nervously,
“What happened between you? Why did this even happen?” You asked, shifting as you realised your wet hair had begun to drip on to him. Finally, you deemed there were enough bandages covering his eye, and you firmly tied it up, “We need to take you somewhere- to someone who can-”
“I know where to go,” He stated firmly, sitting up. He was still shaking, and you almost wanted to reach out and hug him,
“Well then come on, we can’t wait, we need to go now before something bad happens to your eye!” You said, grabbing his arm. He didn’t make any move to stand, simply shaking his head, “Silco!! I know you can be a stubborn cunt but just this once can you please listen to me?” You said desperately, letting go of his arm and letting it drop to his side. Worriedly, you watched him, “Please, it’s not-”
“You cleaned it and disinfected it,” You nodded, “That’s enough for now,” He said, single blue eye flicking to look up at you, “Please- stay with me,” He begged,
“But what if he comes back-”
“He won’t… Not tonight,” He said, “Please, (Y/N). I don’t want to be alone I…” He fell quiet, looking away from you. For a moment you stared, blinking at him. Against your better judgement, you reluctantly sat beside him. Instantly, his hand grabbed yours, wincing in pain. Noticing his split knuckles, you carefully tended to them, cleaning them and a few other cuts he had, eyes scanning over the numerous bruises appearing on his skin,
“Silco,” You whispered gently once you finished, allowing your fingers to dance over your burn on his skin, drawing his attention to you, “Do-”
“I don’t want to be alone,” He repeated, moving to rest the uninjured side of his face against your shoulder. You reached a hand to his wet hair, caressing his head and biting your lip. Fine. You’d drop it for now. You’d ask him later, “He betrayed me,” He muttered against you,
“Right,”
“He almost killed me,”
“But you survived,” You said quietly, eyes filling with tears at the thought, “And you’re here with me,”
“It still happened… If you weren’t here-”
“But I was,” You said, moving to gently touch his face, lifting his chin as a way to make him look at you, “And I saved you. And I’d do it again and again if you let me,” You said, watching him worriedly. For a moment he just watched you, lips parted and letting out quick shaky breaths. He then hugged you, arms moving and pressing you impossibly close to him. He shivered against you, no doubt because of the wet clothes clinging to his skin and the injury still causing him pain. You simply held him, running a comforting hand through his hair as you repeated that he was okay in low tones.
You hadn’t even realised you had fallen asleep. The reason that you awoke was the shuffling and rustling of clothes nearby. In the dim room, Silco pulled on his jacket and glanced at you, single blue eye meeting your quickly waking face, watching as you sat up,
“Silco what are-” He quickly shushed you, walking to you and touching his cold fingers against your chin, lifting it up to look at him. His clothes were dry and thick, intended to keep the warmth in. The bandages around his head were still the same ones you had used, and the gauze was darker around where his eye was under it- soaked with blood,
“I need to go,” He whispered, and seeing your eyes widen and lips part, ready to protest, he pressed a finger against your lips, “You can only help me so much, (Y/N),” He said, a second hand coming to your other cheek, brushing a tear already beginning to run down your cheek, "I appreciate that you saved me, but I can't stay here. Not with him," He said lowly. Of course not,
“Do you know where you’ll do” He nodded, and reluctantly let you go, eye skimming over the tears now freely falling down your face. You reached out to touch his hand but he moved it away, “Silco, let me come with you, please...” You weakly begged,
“No- if you leave he’ll… He’ll know I’m alive and he’ll hunt me down. He’ll hunt you down. I won’t let you risk your life for me,” He said, and turned, to leave. You opened your mouth but the words died on your tongue; his mind had been clearly made up. Stuffing his hands into his pockets, you watched him sharply turn, walking for the door, “Silco,” You hissed, and watched him freeze in the doorway, “I… Do want to see you again. Whenever that will be,” You whispered, voice cracking. You watched his tense shoulders drop, with a slight shake. He nodded his head and just like that, he walked out of your life.
Sobs tore at your throat at the sound of the front door closing, and quickly pressed your face into your pillow to muffle your cries. His usual scent of cigarettes lingered in the fabric, only making your hurt that much more prominent, the deep realisation he was gone for the foreseeable future hitting you harder than any punch ever could.
“Goodbye, Silco,” You whispered into the nothingness, shutting your eyes tightly and letting the overwhelming urge to sleep consume you.
For a moment, it was all dark. Once more. You felt your body moving, as if it was floating, and then all at once, it was hurtling downwards. Light slowly flooded your senses, and you felt your heart race, anticipating when you would hit the ground. Luckily, your eyes fluttered open before you could,
“Are you awake?” A familiar voice. Silco’s. His scent of smoke- expensive, not cheap like you were used to- surrounded you, coaxing you to properly awaken. This smoke didn’t make you choke or throat tighten, or your lungs blaze. In fact, you pleasantly let it enter your lungs, with soft inhales at first, then deep, eager breaths. Slowly, you blinked, your eyes adjusting to the dim lights. At first, it was all blurry, the greys, browns and greys mixing in your unclear vision. An orange glow quickly drew your attention, and a few more blinks later you noticed the glowing of Silco’s cigar fade, replaced by a curtain of smoke that momentarily obscured his face. He set the cigar down in an ashtray nearby, red and blue eye’s focusing on you. Seeing you meet his gaze, he appeared surprised, “(Y/N)?” He asked, sitting up from a chair and moving closer to sit on the side of your bed. He reached his hand out, and moving a strand of hair out of your face and tucking it behind your ear. His palm rested against your cheek as you gave him a weak smile, “You’re finally awake,” He breathed, relieved.
“Yeah,” You barely recognised your voice with how raspy it was from not being used in a long time. Lifting a hand to gently rub your forehead, feeling a headache form, you frowned at the feeling of a rough texture. A bandage, wrapping around your head,
“Be careful with that,” He said, and the hand on your cheek briefly left to take a hold of yours, interlocking your fingers together and bringing them away from your face. You could see the genuine worry clear in his features, brows creased as he watched you. Twisting your hand in his, you brought them closer to your face so you could see clearly. You swiped your finger over the long white scar on the back of his hand. Your scar. You could just about see your matching one on your own hand. His scar. You smiled softly, and heard him exhale, “I was starting to fear you wouldn’t awaken,” He said with a soft frown,
“You’re capable of being afraid?” You mused, and smiled wider as you saw the corners of his lips upturn, along with a small exhale of air out of his nose, “What?” You asked,
“I’m only human,” He responded, in a soft, whisper-like tone, “It’s easy to forget, I know. But it’s true,” He remained to hold your hand firmly in his as you told him about the pleasant memories you had dreamed of your adolescence together, watching as he smiled fondly. In turn, he filled you in on what you had missed in the near two weeks you had been lapsing in consciousness. And even though your head, joints, and body ached and screamed in pain, you relished in his gentle company, listening as he moved on to recalling the happier parts of his week- although rare. The mention that Jinx had requested brand new paints intrigued you, and you asked him if she could bring them to you when he could. All that truly mattered to Silco was you were back and alive. Talking about your fight at the abandoned building could wait just another day.
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