#i'm so antsy i need to go home and not be in class

[lovegoodlane]

Pursuing the Prefect - 6

5.5k words

18+ only

Warnings: sexual content, teasing, oral sex [m & f receiving], fingering, vaginal sex

Summary: Fred has a surprise in store for his favorite prefect (soft Fred, sub Fred?, dom Fred)

A/N: This is the final part. Thanks for being patient, figuring out how to end this was tricky. Be sure to check back for more fics soon, I will be working through my requests. Enjoy! <3

Link to part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5

——

The Winter Ball was quickly approaching, and students became more antsy as time went on. It was Tuesday, and the ball was scheduled for Saturday night. Almost no one could pay attention in their their classes this week.

You were in Potions, your favorite class of the day. The table groups were hard at work preparing ingredients to make an invisibility potion. Your job was to chop up the knotgrass, and your other table mates collected the remaining ingredients.

The tedious task of mincing up the knotgrass allowed your mind to wander. The past month with Fred had been quite memorable, and your thoughts were overtaken by images of him.

Fred had caught you on your Wednesday night prefect rounds, pulling you into an abandoned classroom. It took only seconds for his lips to crash into yours as he pushed you against the closed door of the room.

He pulled your robes off of your shoulders, tossing them onto a nearby desk. The corner of his mouth tilted up in a smirk, and you knew that you were in for it.

Fred took your hand, bringing you to the front of the room by the professor's desk. He kissed you one more time before gripping you by the hips and bending you over the desk.

"Can you see it now, birdie?" he asked, leaning down over you to talk into your ear. "When you're a professor, I can bend you over your desk anytime."

His hand ran up the back of your thigh, causing your whole body to erupt in a shiver. It took only moments for him to undo his belt and pull up your skirt.

Fred was thrusting into you, causing a whimper to fall from your lips. "Shhhh, little bird. Wouldn't want anyone to hear you, huh?" Fred whispered, gripping your waist with his hands.

You bit your lip, trying to keep any sounds from escaping. Fred grabbed at your hair, pulling it as he fucked you over the desk. 

You could feel your climax begin to grow, and you pushed your hips back into Fred to meet his pace. A choked groan came from your throat, and Fred reached around to put his hand over your mouth.

"Now what did I say, darling?" he scolded, increasing his pace even more. "Are you really so desperate for all of Hogwarts to hear you scream my name?"

Your hands gripped the edges of the desk, holding on for dear life. Fred could have simply cast a silencing charm, but where was the fun in that?

You were moments your orgasm, pinching your lips together to keep silent. Fred knew exactly what he was doing to you, and it was torturous. You were determined to hold it together until his thumb found your clit, marking your downfall.

"Anyone home?" Cedric asked, waving a hand in front of your face. You jolted out of your thoughts, embarrassed to be caught daydreaming. Your cheeks immediately turned a vibrant shade of red.

Cedric chuckled. "It's alright, no one can focus with the Winter Ball happening this week. Even Cho is distracted," he said, trying to reassure you. "Are you still going with Fred?"

You nodded. You had been looking forward to going to the ball with Fred. Ever since the Hufflepuff party and the initial shock to Hogwarts of your relationship, things had been pretty tame. It wasn't the explosion of gossip like you had been expecting.

Cedric pushed back his stool, getting up to peer over into the cauldron. The water was ready, all you needed was to add in the ingredients correctly.

"I might need to memorize how to make this for when I make Cho angry," Cedric joked, looking over at you. 

You chuckled, nodding your head in agreement. You knew her temper all too well. "I'm sure the twins will be picking my brain about the recipe. Godric knows what they would get up to with invisibility potions," you replied, measuring out the knotgrass. 

"So do you get to know the plans for the pranks beforehand now that you're with Fred?" Cedric asked, stirring the cauldron. 

"Not usually," you answered. "My policy with them is that the less I know about the trouble they get into, the better. I'm not afraid to take away House points when necessary, but I don't want to do it when it's the twins."

"I can't imagine how strange it must be to be a prefect dating the biggest troublemaker at Hogwarts, seems like a conflict of interest," Cedric commented playfully, raising his eyebrows at you. "But it seems like you two get on quite well despite your differences."

You titled your head in consideration. You hadn't thought about the 'conflict of interest' aspect, but who cares? You aren't the only prefect at the school. Someone else can shout at the twins for their misbehaviors. 

"Our differences keep things interesting," you said. "If Fred dated someone exactly like him, this school would go up in flames. Someone has to keep him in line."

You and Cedric chuckled, beginning to add ingredients into the cauldron. You felt a flutter of pride in your chest at the fact that Cedric picked up on how well you and Fred worked as a couple. You didn't worry yourself with the approval of others, but it was nice to hear it regardless.

——

You plopped your backpack onto the floor, joining Fred on the couch in the Gryffindor common room. It had become routine for you to visit Fred in the evenings after you finished your homework in the library. He was usually in the common room with his twin playing cards or planning their next prank.

"I heard that you made invisibility potions today," George commented from his place across the room. He was playing cards with Angelina and Lee.

"So what if we did?" you retorted. The advanced Potions class you were in had the opportunity to create more exciting potions that other students weren't allowed to. The invisibility potions were one of the recipes that was not taught to students outside of the class.

"I know a couple of people that could use some of those," Fred chimed in, slinging his arm around your shoulders on the couch.

"Would those people have red hair? Because I've heard that invisibility potions don't work on red heads," you replied, cocking a brow at Fred.

"You might be smart, but you're full of shit," George said, calling your bluff. 

You picked up a pillow from the couch and chucked it at him. He caught it with one hand right before it would have smacked him in the face.

"You seem to forget that Fred and I have quidditch reflexes," George said, eyeing his brother mischievously.

"Now!" Fred shouted, picking up another pillow from the couch. He began smacking you with it, and George got up from playing cards to join him. You laughed as the twins continued to hit you with the pillows, a completely harmless attack.

"Do you feel better now?" you asked between giggles. Being with Fred meant that you also began to spend more time with George. You had grown to adore Fred's twin, and it felt like he was your own brother. No one could make you laugh quite like the twins.

"Only a tad," Fred answered, taking the pillow from George so he could return to his card game. "Want to come up to my room?"

Fred tossed the pillows back onto the couch and offered you his hand. You smirked, taking his hand and standing up onto your feet.

George made kissing noises at the two of you, turning around in his chair and wrapping his arms around himself to simulate a make out. This earned a giggle from you.

"There's something called knocking, you git," Fred said to his brother, trying to hide his smile.

"There's also something called a silencing charm, you freak," George replied, now moaning in an attempt to imitate Fred and you. 

Your hand flew up to your mouth to try to stifle your laugh. George had a point. For some reason, Fred didn't like using silencing charms. He would prefer for everyone to hear the sounds that you made. 

Fred simply yanked your hand and dragged you up the stairs, huffing at his brother. He opened the door to his dormitory, motioning for you to enter.

You had become a regular visitor to his dorm, and he even let you borrow pajamas when you stayed over. Fred crossed to his dresser, pulling off his uniform and putting on a t shirt and pajama bottoms instead. He tossed a large jumper at you.

"Would you like to stay tonight?" he asked, making his way to sit on his bed. 

You held the jumper in your hands, weighing your options. You could either stay the night with Fred and risk being tired tomorrow, or sleep in your own room and miss out on this precious time with Fred. Your busy schedule meant that you didn't have much time alone together.

"I'm not sure yet," you replied honestly, beginning to take off your own uniform to put on the jumper. "You'll have me all weekend, so I should probably focus on studying and finishing assignments before the craziness of the ball."

Fred watched you, passively admiring your curves as you changed in the dim light of his dorm. He had seen you naked quite a few times by this point, but he still found himself star struck whenever you so much as showed an extra inch of skin. 

You finished changing, pulling the jumper on over just your knickers. It was long enough that it landed at your mid thigh, and Fred loved how you looked in his clothes. You knew that he was itching to get his hands on you.

"You could take a break from studying for a week," Fred said, settling onto his bed as he watched you. "New potions aren't going to invent themselves overnight. You can pick it up again next week."

You crossed the room to join Fred in his bed. You wrapped your arms around him, pressing your face into his chest as you cuddled up to him. He held you, stroking your back as you took a deep breath.

"I know, I just really want to get into an Upper School. My exams for the Potions programs are in January, there isn't much time left," you said, still squeezing him tight. You had really been feeling the pressure of your upcoming exams, and Fred knew it.

He tangled his fingers through your hair, kissing you on the head as he played with the long strands. Fred always knew how to put you at ease. 

"You never talk about your plans after Hogwarts," you stated, moving to prop your chin on his chest so you could look at him. 

"That's because I'm not sure that I have any yet," he said, shrugging. His parents had been breathing down his neck about this, so the topic of future plans felt pretty sore.

"They don't have to be perfect plans," you replied, reaching up to run your thumb along his jaw. "If you could do anything in the world, what would it be? No matter how outlandish. I'll tell you my fantasy future."

"You go first," he said, leaning into your touch. 

"If I could do anything, I would start a new wizarding school. It would have houses, but it would be nothing like Hogwarts. We would study Potions and Herbology, and instead of playing Quidditch students would compete in Wizard's Chess tournaments. It sounds dorky and there's really no need for another school, but I think it would be fun to create something like that," you said, rambling on. "What about you?"

Fred let out a breath. "George and I want to run our own joke shop. We could sell our creations and show other people how to pull pranks. It would never be successful, but George and I would love doing it."

You pushed yourself up onto your elbows, looking into his eyes. "Freddie, that sounds amazing! You and George would be cracking at that, all of the students here would love to buy your joke items," you said excitedly, a smile on your face.

"Really?" Fred asked, his own smile starting to form.

"Really," you replied. "There's no one better than you two to open a shop like that. And you're both great at convincing people to do things, I'm sure those skills would translate well into sales."

"George and I have been dreaming about it for years. It's something that we would never get bored of," Fred said. "I've never told anyone about it before. Except for George, of course."

"I'm happy that you told me," you said, giving him a kiss on the lips. "You know that I believe in you. I would happily be your first customer."

"Just because you're pretty doesn't mean that you'd get a discount," Fred teased, tickling your side. 

You grabbed at his hand to stop the tickling, laughing at him. "Oh yeah? I'm sure I could find other ways to get a discount," you teased back, running your other hand up his chest.

"Maybe you should give a demonstration," Fred replied, smirking at you as he grabbed your hips and placed you on top of him.

——

It was finally Friday, and everyone was buzzing about the ball tomorrow night. You had managed to make it through the rest of the week without too many distractions, and you were caught up enough on homework that you could give Fred your undivided attention this weekend.

You were eating dinner with your friends, tucking into your dessert chatting about the ball. Beatrice had been rambling on about her dress even though she had already showed it to you several times.

"It's the perfect shade for my skin tone," Beatrice said. "Oliver won't be able to keep his hands off of me."

"We get it, Bea, we've seen your dress about 100 times," Cho said, taking another bite of her pudding. 

"But with my makeup and hair done, it'll look completely different," Bea said, looking for a reason to continue talking about her dress.

You were excited about your own dress. It was a maroon color with a frilly skirt. It was relatively simple, but it still made you feel beautiful. You couldn't wait for Fred to see it.

A paper butterfly floated its way over to your table, landing neatly next to your plate. You and your friends looked at each other in confusion for a moment until you picked it up and unfolded it.

Meet me in my dorm after dinner.

You knew it was from Fred. You looked up, scanning the faces of the other students in the hopes of finding Fred. You were unsuccessful, and instead folded up the note and put it into the pocket of your robes.

"What's that about?" Bea asked, propping her elbows on the table as she looked at you.

"Fred wants me to meet him after dinner," you answered, playing with the crust of the pie that was on your plate.

"He always has to be dramatic about it, doesn't he?" Cho pointed out. "Cedric should take notes, he could learn a thing or two from Fred."

The three of you giggled. Cho rarely said a kind word about Fred, but he was growing on her. He had that effect on people.

——

You made your way up the stairs towards Fred's dormitory. You were nervous for some reason, but you couldn't really understand why. You had been to his room countless times, but he didn't usually invite you over by sending a paper butterfly at dinner. It seemed like he was up to something.

You knocked on the door, fiddling with your fingers that you had clasped in front of you. A few seconds passed until Fred opened the door, a wide grin on his face.

"Close your eyes," he said, putting his hands over your eyes as he pulled you into the room.

"What in Godric's name are you up to now, Freddie?" you asked as he led you through the room.

"You'll find out in a second," he replied, bringing you to the bed. "Sit down."

You obliged, sitting down onto his bed. You heard papers rustling, and you were tempted to open your eyes. But you knew that Fred wanted whatever this was to be a surprise, so you obediently kept them closed.

"You can open them now," Fred said, sitting on the bed next to you. 

You opened your eyes, taking in the room before you. Fred had lit numerous candles and spread rose pedals around the room. It was like a scene from a romantic novel. It was cheesy, but you loved it.

You looked around, noticing that Fred had strung something up on the walls. "You should start from this end and work to the right," Fred said, directing you toward the door.

All around the room were sketches of you. The first was a sketch of your frustrated face. Your hair was braided, and you assumed that the sketch was of your confrontation in the courtyard.

The next was you in the Quidditch stands. Then you on your back on Fred's bed, his head between your legs. Your side profile as you looked out from the astronomy tower. Slow dancing to the record player. The first time you had butter beers with him and his friends at the Three Broomsticks.

You couldn't stop the tears that were rolling down your cheeks. Your hand was covering your mouth that was agape in absolute disbelief. Fred had chronicled your relationship in sketches. You had no idea that he was this talented.

The sketches continued in order along the walls of his room, and you didn't turn to him until you had looked at every last one. You finally looked at Fred. A soft smile was on his lips, and his eyes looked like they were shining. He had that look that he gave you once in a while that you were never quite able to place.

Fred closed the space between you, wiping the tears from your cheeks. He took your hands into his.

"Birdie....I don't even know where to start," he let out a chuckle, obviously a bit nervous. "I realized that I never asked you to be my girlfriend. We both kind of just assumed that we were together, but I wanted to be sure."

You giggled at him. He was right. You had never explicitly spoken about being together, it was something that fell into place naturally. 

"So I'm finally going to ask. Will you be my girlfriend?" Fred asked. 

"Of course I will, Freddie," you said, reaching up to wrap your arms around his neck. You kissed him on the lips, your cheeks still wet with tears.

"I'm not done yet," Fred said, pulling out of the kiss. He took your hand, walking you back to the bed. He sat down, motioning for you to join him.

"You and I have known each other ever since we got to Hogwarts. I always thought that you were cute, but your nose was so far into your books that I never tried to get to know you," Fred said, still holding your hand. "I have learned so much about you in these past few months. It has made me wonder how I ever was able to live without you before, how I could walk past you in the halls every day and not kiss you. I was missing out on so much, and I had no idea. But now I know you, and I also know that I'm in love with you."

Fred paused to take a breath. Tears continued to roll down your cheeks as you watched him in silence.

"I know that your last experience with love might not have been what you wanted it to be, but this is going to be different. Because I will spend every day making sure that you know that I love you. I will support you and your dreams. If that means you have to spend hours in the library and don't have as much time for me, I still support you. There is no one in the world who is as smart as you, as ambitious as you, as kind-hearted, patient, caring...I could go on for ages," Fred squeezed your hand, looking into your eyes. "I don't know a lot of things, but I do know for sure that I am in love with you. And I need you to know that. You are my weakness, and I think you have learned how to exploit that."

Fred gently poked at your side, trying to get you to laugh. A choked giggle came out of your mouth as you tried to wipe your tears.

"Darling, why are you crying?" Fred asked, his voice gentle. It was like he was afraid you were going to break like a piece of glass.

"This is just....I never expected this," you replied, taking breaths to try to gather yourself. "I don't know how else to respond to a gesture like this."

Fred squeezed your hand again, using his other hand to wipe a tear from your cheek. "Birdie, this is what you deserve."

You breathed out. You had been trying to remind yourself that you deserve good things. That you work hard and deserve success. That you are a good friend and deserve for that to be reciprocated. Fred somehow knew all of your insecurities and exactly how to make them vanish.

"Fred, this is....." you started, left speechless for a moment. "I love you too."

Your hands found his cheeks, taking his face into your hands. You kissed him, a sweet kiss that you hoped conveyed how much you loved him.

"How long have you known?" you asked, pulling back so you could look him in the eye.

"Known what?" he replied, finding your hand again and taking it into his.

"How long have you known that you loved me?" you said, rubbing the back of his hand with your thumb.

Fred looked down for a moment as he considered your question. "The astronomy tower. I think that's when I knew, I just didn't want to admit it yet," he answered.

Your eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Wow...that was a long time ago," you said.

"Birdie, you are the only person who challenges me. Who always sees the best in me. You believe in me without a question. And you have been that way since the beginning. How could I not fall in love with you?"

You leaned in to kiss him again, this time biting at his bottom lip. Your hands found his hair, and he pulled you onto his lap. 

"You are so sentimental and I love you for it," you said, stroking his cheek. He smiled at you, kissing you once more. 

His kisses wandered from your mouth to your jaw down to your neck. Your hands were busy in his hair, pulling at it as he nipped at your sensitive skin. You leaned your head back, giving him full access to your neck. 

He undid your tie, tossing it to the side before working on the buttons of your shirt. 

"Someone seems impatient," you teased, scratching at his scalp with your nails. You were usually the one who pushed things along. Fred was willing to be patient for the sake of your comfort. 

"I've been dying to make love to you," he replied between kisses, now biting along your collar bone. He had already finished with the buttons of your shirt, and he waited for you to pull it off your shoulders.

You obliged, discarding your shirt so Fred could continue his trail of kisses. He stood up from the bed, picking you up for a moment before placing you on your back in the center of the bed. You opened your legs, and he slid between them so he could plant another kiss on your mouth.

He made quick work of your skirt, and soon you were left in only your undergarments on his bed. 

"What a view," he said, grinning at you as he moved to take off his own shirt and tie.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer," you teased at him.

"That's what the sketches are for," he said, already taking off his pants.

Fred came forward to kiss your lips again, your legs wrapping around his middle. His hands ghosted along your ribcage, wandering around to your back so he could unclasp your bra. 

You slid your bra straps down your arms, dropping it onto the floor next to the bed. Fred left hot kisses from your lips all the way down between your boobs. Your back was already arching off of the mattress, begging for more.

"I want to take my time with you tonight," he said between kisses, sucking a nipple into his mouth. You moaned in reply, hands flying to his hair.

He worked your other nipple with his fingers, eventually moving his mouth to give the other a turn. His searing kisses trailed down your stomach, stopping just above your navel. 

Fred's fingers played with the edge of your knickers, tickling along your hip bone. "May I?" he asked, looking up at you from his position between your legs.

"Yes. Please," you answered, your nails scratching along his muscular shoulders.

Fred pulled down your knickers, dropping them onto the floor. He kissed the side of your knee, working his way down your thighs toward your center.

"So gorgeous. Such a perfect girl," he mumbled, leaving love bites on your inner thighs. 

His hand hooked behind your knee, pushing it closer to your chest. His mouth migrated from your thighs to your hip bone, leaving kisses along your lower belly. 

One hand came down to your center while his other propped him up on the bed. His thumb found your clit, slowly working a circular pattern onto it. He still kissed along your belly, making you writhe with anticipation.

Fred dove one long finger into your opening, making you whimper. He was taking his time just like he said he would, but it was driving you insane. 

He was finally gracious enough to move his mouth down to your core, teasing your clit with the tip of his tongue. His finger still worked in and out of your opening, causing you to grip at Fred's hair. 

He picked up his pace, sucking your clit into his mouth as he added another finger into you. You were moaning his name, pulling at his hair as he pleasured you. 

You were so close to your release. Fred knew your body well enough that he could tell that you were close, so he continued exactly as he was. In his mind, you two were just getting started.

You finally reached your high, arching off of the bed as you pulled on a fistful of fiery hair. Fred eased you down, leaving gentle kisses on your thighs before moving to kiss you on the lips. 

"I love you," he said, brushing your nose with his as he looked into your eyes.

"I love you too," you replied, still catching your breath after your orgasm. The moment was sweet and endearing, but you wanted more.

You reached for Fred's waistband, raising your eyebrows at him suggestively. "I'm going to be on top this time, pretty boy," you said, a smirk creeping across your mouth.

Fred's face lit up. He had always taken control during sex, but he wasn't upset about this change. You were nervous about being on top; you had never tried it before. But tonight felt like the right time.

You switched positions on the bed, with Fred laying on his back. You straddled him, and Fred sat up and kissed along your collarbone and shoulders. 

"I think you were made for me," he said between kisses. His words made a shiver run down your spine.

He was straining against the fabric of his underwear, and you knew exactly how to help him. You pushed his shoulders back, forcing him to lay down onto the bed.

"What do you want, Freddie?" you asked, trying to make your voice sound sweet and innocent.

"Anything," he answered, running his hands along your hips. He wanted to take his time, but he was starting to get desperate. 

"Hmmmm...I'll have to decide for you then," you said, tracing your nails down his chest. Your fingers landed at the edge of his boxers, toying with it.

You could feel Fred shiver beneath your touch. A smirk spread across your lips. Having this power over him felt addictive. 

You pulled at his boxers, taking them all the way down his legs and tossing them onto the floor. You kissed along his abs while one hand reached down to grip him.

Fred sucked in a breath. He had been anticipating your touch. You continued your kisses down to his hip bones, working him with your hand.

You peered up at him. His mouth was open slightly, and his pupils were dark. You had him right where you wanted him.

"Do you want something?" you asked, blinking at him through your eyelashes. 

"I...your mouth," he said, stuttering a bit. He was flustered.

You brought your trail of kisses down further, and you dared to dart out your tongue to tease his tip. He shuddered in response.

You had enough of teasing him. At least for now. You took him into your mouth, still using your hand to work the rest of him that didn't fit. Fred groaned, his hands finding your hair.

"Fuck, birdie. Feels so good," he said, watching you as you worked him deeper into your throat. 

You could feel his muscles tensing, but you didn't want him to finish like this. You pulled your mouth off of him, propping yourself up with your hands on his thighs.

"I couldn't let you finish like that, Freddie," you said, your voice soft. "I know what you want. You just need to beg for it."

Fred huffed. "Beg?" he asked in disbelief. This sounded like the kind of thing that he usually did to you. 

"It's your turn to be desperate. Or we could stop, that's alright too," you replied, taking your hands off of his thighs. You started as if you were going to get off the bed, but he grabbed your wrist.

"Please," he said, his eyes boring into yours.

"Oh Freddie, you know you can do better than that. So insincere," you teased, running your nails up his thighs.

You moved so you were straddling his middle. You played with his hair, looking down at him. He was stubborn, not wanting to give in to you. But he also wanted you, and that meant that he would have to play along.

"Birdie, please. I need you," he whined, bringing his hands to your hips.

"I know," you replied, grinning at him. His eyes were pleading with you. You had to give in to him.

You pushed your hips back, using your hand to find him. He still held on to your hips as you aligned him with your entrance, slowly working yourself down onto him.

Fred breathed out, gripping onto your hips harder. You supported yourself with your hands on his chest, trying to find a comfortable pace. You had never been on top before, so this was unfamiliar territory. 

Fred's hands slid up to your sides. He pulled you forward, kissing your lips. You kissed him back, your hands now propped on either side of his head. You moved your hips up and down, still feeling a bit unsure of what to do.

Fred's lips moved to your ear. "Would you like some help, darling?" he whispered.

"Please," you replied, letting out an embarrassed chuckle. 

Fred took back some control, using his own hips to meet yours. You increased your pace, meaning that Fred also increased his.

You pulled yourself back up, putting your hands on his chest once again. He grabbed your hips, moving you up and down to match his rhythm.

"Fuck, Freddie. Just like that," you cried, digging your nails into his chest. 

He continued like this, bringing a hand down to your center. His thumb found your clit, working it as you rode him. You let out a whine, feeling overwhelmed by the pleasure. 

"So good for me, birdie. Such a good girl," he praised. "Are you going to finish for me?"

You moaned as he increased the pace once more. You were close to your finish, but you wanted him to finish too.

"Not until you finish for me," you managed to say between moans. He had you on the brink.

"I'm close, darling. So close," he replied, digging his hand into your hip.

Fred continued, and soon enough you were crying out. "Freddie, so good. Don't stop."

You reached your orgasm, maintaining Fred's brutal pace so he could reach his own. It only took a few more moments.

"Fuck, that's it, birdie," he said as he finished, his hips stuttering into you. You both slowed your hips, and you collapsed onto his chest.

You were both breathing hard and sweaty. You stayed on top of him, burrowing your face into the crook of his neck.

"That was...." Fred started, chuckling. "You never cease to amaze me."

You picked up your head, exhausted from your effort. "I aim to please," you replied, shooting a wink at him.

Fred chuckled again. "You sure do," he said. 

[nordic-language-love]

IRL Japanese 2: Things the kids I teach say all the time

If you're planning to work as an ESL teacher in Japan working with kids, this vocab is gonna be super useful for you! You'll pick up a lot as you go along, but it's good to have an overview from the start.

できた = done, finished (whenever they finish an exercise I've set them. The older kids will use the ます-form, but kids under like age 8 will use this one)

かえる？= is it time to go home? (lit: go home?)

わかった = got it (again, the older kids will use the ます-form)

わからない / わかんない = I don't get it (idk if わかんない is just dialect or if it's common overall, but I hear it more than わからない. Usually from the kids who don't wanna be there and are making zero effort)

ちがう = wrong / different (when they give an answer but realise it's not correct. It's basically like "wait, no")

ばか = idiot (sometimes boys say this to their friends)

全部？（ぜんぶ）= everything?! (asked in disbelief when I ask them to write more than one word)

やめろ = stop it! (used with friends when they're teasing each other)

いたいよ = that actually hurts, you know! (used with friends when they're rough-housing)

よし (more like 'yoshhh') = right then (filler word indicating the start of an activity or a change of activity)

水筒（すいとう）= water bottle (most kids bring one to class and frequently forget to take them with them when they go home)

忘��た（わすれた）= I forgot (usually in reference to the text book they left at home)

トイレに行きたい = I want to go to the bathroom

先生、大好き！（せんせい、だいすき！）= I love you, Sensei!

Other useful classroom/school vocabulary:

サイコロ = dice

トランプ = playing cards

ごろごろ = onomatopeia for the sound for rolling (I found the kids got confused if I just mimed rolling a dice/ball and said "roll!" but if I did the gesture and said "gorogoro", they understood)

ビリビリ = onomatopeia for ripping (useful for when you have tear-apart crafts in class)

ケシケシ = onomatopeia for erasing something (useful when you try to explain to a kid they spelled something wrong. Because it's easier to just say "A kesh-kesh, E" than "Not A, E. Okay great you wrote E, but A needs to go. No no no not the whole word, just A. Oh my God. Okay. Let me write it and you copy.")

ちょっと = a little, soon, wait a little (useful if the kids are getting a bit antsy and ready to go home a bit too early/don't want to wait their turn. Don't use it with parents though!)

がんばれ = do your best / you can do it!

あぶない！= dangerous / look out! (useful if a kid unexpectedly runs in front of me while I'm carrying a table)

せえの！= Altogether now! (When I need the kids to repeat something after me)

だめだよ = Don't do that (for when the kids repeatedly do something I've asked them not to do)

少々お待ちください（しょうしょう　おまち　ください）= polite form of "please wait a moment". Useful if you have a parent talking to you and you need to go get something (e.g. a communication sheet for them to point at so you know what they're trying to say)

授業参観 (じゅぎょうさんかん) = parent observation (PO). A couple of times a year, parents are invited into the classroom to watch the lesson (absolutely not a thing in the UK, not sure about other countries). The past two months I've had POs at my various schools, and so the parents come to the door and ask me if it's PO week. I don't understand most of the question, but I can pick out this one word and a question particle and figure out what they're asking.

It's also obviously a good idea to learn vocabulary related to stationery (eraser, pencil, crayon, pen, notebook, textbook, pencil case etc) because kids forget/lose their stuff all the time and will inevitably ask you if they can borrow something.

[silverflqmes]

Hihi! I'm wondering if you're okay writing nsfw / smut (dont know the right term) for zack fair, could i request some thigh fucking headcannons'? (Applogies if my english isnt to great, thanks for reading if you see this 😊)

໒⦂ 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓.

notes. hello anon! super duper sorry for the wait, i don’t write nsfw very often and if i get requests, i tend to take a lot of time writing them ahaha.. but i hope these hcs are to your liking, i feel like they’re a little rushed., furthermore the reader is female, i hope that’s okay!

genre. nsfw

tw. thigh fucking, semi-public sex, fondling, praise / body worship, dirty talk, needy portrayal of zack if you squint, after care, mirror sex.

disclaimer. uncomfortable with smut or younger than 17? please dni.

zack fair x fem!reader.

⌗ being a first class SOLDIER as zack was, there was hardly any time for full blown sex with how unpredictable his schedule could be. missions could either be in midgar, outside of midgar, slow or constant — the schedule was totally sporadic with the lack of firsts.

⌗ usually any need for release is often met during combat since he’s blowing off steam in battle, so in those cases — sexual activity isn’t needed.

⌗ but when fighting is not used as an output, he does tend to get pent up. it would make sense for a SOLDIER to have a load of energy to burn off, and zack being as antsy as he is to get some movement in.. he’s like a whiny thing in heat at times..

⌗ and so, that’s where you would come in.

⌗ there is little time on his hands but he just needs you so badly in instances like these. other times, he is of course your sweet and adoring boyfriend. showering you in hugs and the sweetest of kisses but real talk, a guy can get horny. especially if he’s getting zero action, mission and / or sex wise.

⌗ although, you couldn’t lie and say that you didn’t want your boyfriend plunging himself in between your thighs behind closed curtains, brushing all along your clit in just the right way while he grips your hips, grinding his own into your backside.

⌗ sometimes he just can’t hold himself back from dragging you away from your work into his office or an empty space just to get some friction and skin on skin contact from you. your thighs just feel so so soft and rub against him perfectly each time. and whenever you squeeze, the tightness is all the more pleasing.

⌗ oftentimes, he’s gotta be on the clock, though.. so his pace can be a little rougher and quicker with you, but he’s always careful to hold you close, aware that his enhanced strength can sometimes be.. a bit much.

⌗ still, you’d brace your hands against the wall or desk, anyway, and watch as he appeared and reappeared between your thighs in an intoxicating rhythm that makes you forget your work even existed.

⌗ because you both have to be quiet and he gets so needy for more of you, he would turn your head to the side to capture your lips in a feverish kiss while he continues slotting himself between your legs.

⌗ at times his hands would slide from your waist underneath your shirt to feel up your chest. he’d squeeze, fondle and knead them together, pinching your hardened nipples all while he continued delivering himself between your thighs.

⌗ and when he misses you too much, he’ll want to do it while facing one another — which can be sloppier, but he wants to look at your pretty face while he’s fucking your thighs, and feel your body flush against his own.

⌗ it’s not always fast and rough though, rest assured. whenever there is more time at your disposal, and within the comfort of your home, it can also be slow and sensual. a way for you to feel every detail of him that he had to offer as he holds you close to him. certainly when he’s returned from an away mission, knowing you’d both missed each other dearly.

⌗ unfortunately, things can get messy, but even if he’s on the clock, zack always makes the time to clean you up and help get the both of you back in order. he can’t just go sending you off, he’s a gentleman!

⌗ our resident puppy can be vocal a lot, especially if he hasn’t gotten the chance to be intimate like this with you for a bit.. so expect a load of praise and worshipping out of him, cuz he’s got lots to say.. but also some whining of his own- so praise him too.

⌗ “f-fuck, you feel so good against me, baby.. wish i could just have you like this all day, can hardly even wait until later..”

⌗ “mm, squeeze me just like that, yeah. you’re doing so well, y/n.. can’t contain myself any longer, i gotta have you tonight again too to hold me over at t-this rate..”

⌗ ooh and he loves doing it in front of a mirror. to witness every expression you make, and see your reactions just makes the experience all the more delectable.

notes. sorry if this was shorter than anticipated, i hope it’s somewhat decent?? i tried to come up with different things to pair with the thigh fucking since it’s.. a little dull on its own😭 anyway, hope you enjoyed! tysm for the request and for your patience<3

↳ return to main masterlist . request rules . send an ask

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

(Hawks change from yes man to rebel is slow. But it is a steady process.)

"We managed to acquire one of the PersoComs. We'll be having a robotics expert arrive in the morning to try to discover how to recreate them. As you are a familiar face, you'll be watching it."

Keigo looks at the little PersoCom in the cage. He should probably tell them.

But he won't. Midoriya had been very clear that HE was going to be one to decide who got a PersoCom and when. All Keigo had done the last few times he'd gone to pitch the Commissions request had been napping. Or watched TV. Sometimes he played videogames with Class A.

Just take the opportunity to relax. Maybe that was why the Commission had gotten antsy and had decided to kidnap one of the little robots.

He took a glance at the PersoCom he was going to be watching over. He knew all of them by now, from enthusiastic Usagi, to serious Tatsuo.

This one, is one of the youngest, made to keep watch over Eri. Hikari was a very sentient Nanny Cam.

Who transmited what she saw to her twin sister, Hikaru, who kept the recordings. Who she could communicate with.

So there was a very good chance U.A. had been made aware of the kidnapping. Judging by the nod Hikari gave him, they definetly did.

As soon as they were alone he just asked.

"Do I take you back to U.A.? Or are they coming to get you?"

Hikari tilted her head in the way she did when communicating with her sister.

"I would enjoy the flight back home. Nedzu-san has the recording of my kidnapping and Madam President's confession. He'll deal with the rest."

Well then.

No need to wait. He grabs the PersoCom and exists through the window, after safely placing her in a pocket.

They arrive at U.A. in record time.

Chang Shikako stood beside Mera Yokumiru as they watched Madame President be escorted away in handcuffs.

"Ever think it'll end like this?" Shikako murmured to Mera.

"With the President finally getting caught?" Mera yawned. "Honeslty? Sorta. She's been making stupid moves lately."

"Got cocky when Hawks didn't pull a Lady Nagant." Shikako sighed. "Didn't think about the fact robots could probably record things."

"Yeah," Mera groaned. "Fuck, I'll be in charge I bet."

"Better you than me," Shikako snorted. "It feels weird we're some of the only non-corrupt higher-ups."

"I'm too tired to do it, and you'd probably just be a mole for the heroes or turn villain if you found out how bad it actually was," Mera said.

"Fair," Shikako nodded.

-

Izuku sat on the couch, eyes closed in exhaustion as he thought over the days events.

People would never treat the PersoComs as anything but inanmate objects. Not everyone, but enough of the population would think that Izuku just...

Was it a good idea to make more? Give them to people? Be a hero where they could be damaged? The idea of some fan deciding to kidnap one came to mind, and Izuku shuddered.

"Eingineer! Engineer!" Eri's voice startled him to sit up as she ran at him, chanting his hero name. "Hikari helped me with my hair!" She pointed at the bows holding her hair in a high ponytail, beaming as the PersoCom smiled up at Izuku.

He grinned back. "That's fantastic, Eri!" He stood up to be dragged along to show Aizawa-sensei, his worries vanishing from his mind.

If he could make a little girl smile, it was worth it.

[apomaro-mellow]

Hot for Teacher(s) 3

Part 2 / AO3 Link

After school practices for the Thanksgiving performance was only for the students who wanted to put a little more time into it. Apparently a bulk of the rehearsal happened during their music class and that made sense. Still, Steve was glad to put a face to some of the kids his son mentioned. The first night there had been a girl who's lip trembled at the slightest upset and Steve knew that had to be Yasmin.

"She's a crybaby who cries over everything", Shawn had said one time.

"Hm, need I remind you of all the times you've cried? Why I remember just last week-"

"We don't need to talk about that", Shawn said, properly chastised.

Even so, Steve could see how it could get a little frustrating to be in a class with someone as sensitive as that. And yet, Mr. Munson never let on that he was frustrated or anything like that. Every time the tears came, he talked her down. Which was quite the feat since he had probably been doing it for eight hours at this point.

"You're really good with the kids", Steve complimented when Mr. Munson took a seat near them to rest.

Third grade was working on their performance piece on the stage now while the smaller kids got a break. Mr. Munson smiled a bit as he scratched at his head.

"Yeah, well, patience is key, as I'm sure you know. Actually, how old are the kids you teach?", he asked.

"Middle school", Steve answered, laughing a little when he saw the other teacher's eyes get wide in fear.

"Braver than any marine, I swear. I will take spilt milk tears over the raging hormones going on over there."

Steve's brain decided to highlight the word 'hormones' which made him delayed in his response. He cleared his throat to try and cover it up. "It's not as bad as all that. I've got the babies of middle school, the sixth graders, but don't tell them I said that. And I'm lucky I've got a group there that's absolutely obsessed with science."

He met Mr. Munson's eyes and was met with a million watt smile. One that he knew was on his own face too.

"That's the best feeling, ain't it? When they wanna soak up as much as you can give?"

"The best", Steve agreed. It wasn't always candy and roses but it was all worth it for those days when everything just clicked. "Speaking of passions, did you get that approval for your ideas for the show?"

"They said I could play guitar, but they vetoed my pyrotechnics idea."

That night, Mr. Munson walked him and Shawn back to their car. And as such, became a routine for two days out of the week. Through it all, Steve commended himself for only drooling a little over him and only when he was alone.

At home, one Saturday, Shawn was humming his class' song while Steve made them lunch. He looked to the calendar and realized the show would be that coming Monday. Well, he knew that but it hit him that in less than a week, Thanksgiving break would start and then there wouldn't be much of a reason for him to see Mr. Munson anymore.

Just as the thought came to him, he looked at the school events calendar he had put in his phone and saw that there would be a Winter Dance but that it was for 4th and 5th grade only. He held back a sigh. Oh well, maybe if he got particularly antsy, he could schedule a confere-no, nononono.

He wasn't going to waste a teacher's time over nothing. Just because, what? He wanted to see him?

He said as much when he talked to Robin the next day. They were sitting in his living room, Shawn was up in his room, reading on this lazy Sunday.

"So, you're just going to avoid him?"

"It's not avoiding. I'm just not going to go out of my way to seek him out", Steve clarified. "And maybe this little crush", he whispered the word 'crush' like tiny ears were listening, "will die down."

"Mhm", Robin nodded, unconvinced. "You know they say absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?"

Steve leaned back against the couch. "There's at least one absence I'm not missing."

"...Don't tell me this is all because of him?"

"It's not because of him but...", Steve's eyes traveled to where Shawn's baby book sat on a bookshelf. Inside were the only pictures of Shawn's sire. And honestly, Steve wouldn't even have those if it were up to him. But he wanted to leave the door open just for when Shawn got older and could decide how much he wanted that man in his life.

"I don't think Mr. Munson is anything like him. Of course I don't. But I can't make a mistake like that again. If Shawn got hurt, I could never forgive myself."

Robin gave him a pat on the leg. "If you really think it's for the best."

It was. Steve knew that what was on the surface could be hiding something ugly underneath. He wasn't going to expose him or his pup to anything like that again. Mr. Munson was nice but these feelings weren't deep enough to swim in. Steve was barely getting his toes wet. He would stay high and dry and then Shawn would go on to second grade and then he would only see Mr. Munson in passing, if that.

Steve had all these affirmations in mind as he settled in to see Shawn's performance Monday. Planning ahead, Steve had told his school a couple weeks ago that he had a doctor appointment and wouldn't be coming in until later. Just long enough to pop in and see Shawn sing. As he had planned and rehearsed, Mr. Munson sat on a stool to one side of the stage, acoustic guitar in his lap.

It was all the school would allow and seeing as the kids' singing voices weren't super strong, it was for the best. Steve recorded the act, phone focused on Shawn while every once in a while, his eyes drifted to Mr. Munson.

After the song, Steve waved to Shawn, who waved back. He had told him ahead of time that he'd have to go back to work after seeing him, so that his son wouldn't be disappointed. When they saw each other at home later, Shawn's adrenaline from the day hadn't waned.

"So a lot of the other kids' parents took them home, so Mr. Munson let some of us play with his guitar!"

"Did he now?", Steve smiled.

"Uh-huh. He even taught us how to play. Do you think he teaches guitar?"

"Would you like some lessons?", Steve asked.

"Only if Mr. Munson is teaching it. He makes everything so cool."

-------------------------

Steve watched as Shawn ran ahead to go into the corn maze. Most of the corn was gone, so he wasn't worried about him getting lost as Robin went to get them hot ciders. Shawn scurried through the maze when he found someone familiar.

Robin had come back with two ciders that she and Steve sipped on while Shawn made his way through the maze.

"Dad! Look who's here!"

Steve looked up, expecting to see one of his little friends. Not Mr. Munson.

Not Mr. Munson in ripped jeans and a leather jacket.

Not Mr. Munson in ripped jeans and a leather jacket with chunky rings and his hair let loose, spilling over his shoulders.

"Dad look! It's Mr. Munson! Dad?"

"Mr. Munson! What a surprise!", Robin came in for the save while Steve was speechless. She gave him a subtle nudge that really wasn't all that subtle but that was okay because Mr. Munson was having his own crisis.

Because here was Mr. Harrington, enjoying a harvest festival, shoulder to shoulder with a beautiful alpha woman.

"H-hey, didn't expect to run into you here", Mr. Munson stuttered.

"Me neither", Steve said, voice a little breathless. He cleared it and remembered himself. "This is Robin, she's my neighbor. Robin, this is Shawn's teacher."

"Heard so much about you", Robin grinned.

Steve wanted to kick her in the shin.

"Hey, Shawn, how's about we go and pick out a pumpkin or something?", Robin suggested, grabbing his hand and pulling him away from the other two, leaving them alone.

Mr. Munson looked like a deer caught in headlights and Steve couldn't blame him.

"Jesus, she couldn't be anymore obvious."

"Did you want to talk to me about something, Mr. Harrington?"

"No, I didn't. But, I think...I think we should have this conversation anyway." Steve ran a hand through his hair.

They went to a little sitting area the farm had set up near the food booths so that they could talk. Eddie's mind ran a mile a minute, thinking of what this could be about. Both good and bad. He'd gotten a hot chocolate both to keep his hands warm and to give him something to do with said hands. Hands that Mr. Harrington was staring at right now.

"I um", he shook his head and pushed a lock of hair behind his ear. "I just wanted to-god this is hard."

"Well, let's make it easier", Eddie said. "Is it about Shawn? Is he having problems in school?"

"No, it's not about that. It's about us-I mean, there is no us but I-goddammit", Steve hissed, cheeks getting red in embarrassment. He let out a breath. "Mr. Munson, I'm having..." don't say feelings don't say feelings don't say feelings "-sensations, that aren't entirely professional. About you."

"Oh."

"And I know nothing can come of it, but I just want you to know that, to know that I'm aware of them and if I ever come on, I guess too strong, please just let me know."

"Um, for how long?", Eddie asked, hoping he wasn't vibrating in his seat because it sure did feel that way.

"Uhh, pretty much since I first met you", Mr. Harrington admitted. "And I don't know if it's because you've been looking after me and Shawn when we walk back to the car, or if it's something else but you just smell...you feel safe. And it's hard for me not too....", he trailed off, voice getting soft.

He didn't know how much that meant to Eddie. His first year of teaching, Eddie had gone on scent blockers, not wanting to overwhelm the little noses in his room. But one day he'd forgotten and things just seemed to run more smoothly when they could get a whiff of him. For Mr. Harrington to say his scent made him feel safe...

"It hasn't exactly been easy for me either", Eddie finally said. "Me too, since that first day I... But you already said nothing can come from it."

There was a hesitant look in Mr. Harrington's eyes. "Well, you know, why not?"

"Why...not?", Eddie echoed.

"I have my personal reasons for not pursuing this, but they mostly involve Shawn. If he doesn't know about it, I mean if we can hide it from most people, you won't get in trouble with the school. And we won't, you know get Shawn's hopes up if it doesn't become serious."

"Why, Mr. Harrington, are you propositioning me?" Honestly, Eddie didn't give a flying fuck what this principal thought about his private life. At the end of the day, it really was just Shawn he was worried about. He didn't know what happened to the other half of his DNA, but he knew that kids with only one parent sometimes longed for a second. He couldn't make Shawn think that was him unless this was the real deal. And he wouldn't know that for sure if he didn't give this a try.

"For starters, when we're not on school grounds, you can call me Steve."

"Eddie."

"Eddie, would you like to go out with me sometime?"

Steve's face was a mix of hopeful and confident that Eddie wouldn't be forgetting anytime soon. "I'd love to."

Part 4

There is absolutely some angst with Steve's baby daddy comin down the line. I came up with it where I come up with all my best ideas, half asleep when I wake up in the morning.

Tag Team

@anne-bennett-cosplayer @aol19 @lololol-1234 @hippieg1rl420 @gregre369 @attic-cat-blog

[ask-postcrash-curly]

Mum again, my dear. I...

She... she had said that you were not well when we left. I... I understand, I know that you said you did not wish to speak of it, and of course, I do not wish to push you too hard, either... but... I cannot sit here thinking about it any longer. I was so terribly worried.

You know you do not need to hide from us— from me. You know that, yes? Did you really... fare so...?

Admittedly, I... I was rather antsy and frustrated by the time we were with Daisuke. In the last few days, I... he and the nurse may have heard my cries as I was falling asleep. I simply feel terrible to have alarmed them so...

I am still feeling rather restless, as though... as though we could be booted back out at any given moment. I do pray it does not happen again, I cannot... I cannot stand this to keep happening. I know that you are in— you are in... I know that you have more faith in those nurses than we do. But I cannot help but fear... that they will end up hurting you, too...

...

I have taken the dictionary that Shrike once gifted me from the top shelf. It is so terribly dusty, I have not touched it since... I have scoured every page, every word, in the hopes of finding something that will sufficiently express how remorseful I am. I have come up with nothing. Not a word. Not a phrase.

But I am so sorry...

I can only pray now to the starlings that, should this happen again, they will have the mercy to let me stay behind with you instead. Yes, I am aware that I fervently wished for the opposite to begin with! I am deeply, deeply aware of it! It is of my doing, sweetheart. (Did I pray, to have it all undone back then, too...? I do not remember. I only recall the screaming.) I have utmost faith in the others— that whatever may need getting done will be done just as well without me there. But I cannot do this again. I— I cannot. I cannot make you do it again. I cannot... please...

I just wish that you were home already...

Hey!!

She...? Do you mean, uh, Death?

I know, yeah. Just, well, it isn't fun to talk about, y'know? And it's over now, so... You're back, it's over, and all that in-between shit is what I'd rather forget.

...The nurse? Which, uh, nurse? I know a lot of— Wait, sorry, distracted. You were crying yourself to sleep...? Mum, I'm sorry. I wish I could've fixed it.

Fuck, I hope not. You have no idea how fucking monotonous this room gets without voices in my head. It's miserably boring. Makes me miss my dullest classes and shifts. Nothin' on this. ...I hope it doesn't either. But— Please, don't say that, yeah? They're not— There's nothing to fear from them. Nothing.

The dictionary—? Hey, hey, Mum, you didn't need to—

Sorry? For what? None of this is on you.

...Mum, that doesn't mean this is your fault. And, look, I got the information I wanted, yeah? And then some! The process wasn't fun, sure, but— This isn't your doing, okay? Don't go talking bullshit that way. Please. I'll power through, okay? I just... The only reason I was that upset was because I didn't... I didn't think you'd be coming back, yeah? I'd like if you could stay, but I don't want you tearing into yourself if you can't. I know it isn't your decision.

Me too...

[four-alligators-in-a-trenchcoat]

Update! 6 Months Post Flip-Phone

Yippie ki-yay y'all! Get a flip-phone. My first blogpost about this journey in my life was very technical, pros and cons about the transition to daily life with a flip phone, this blog-post is more vague about how it has affected me mentally. There haven't been many changes to my actual daily carry, but I'm attaching my EDC! I still use the Sunbeam Bluebird, but for those more interested in a review I will make a separate post, if you are deciding on which dumb phone to get I suggest you read it. Lets get into the actual updates!

What are the most prominent changes I have noticed?

Attention span/tolerance has gone up

The norm of physical attractiveness is much different now

Tasks and chores are manageable and commonplace

I have higher standards about the content I consume

Social life hasn't changed much, but if anything it got better

Depression? Disassociation? Not gone, but significantly decreased by at least 70%

Lets start with the first one, attention span. Good God. I used to feel antsy in every situation, even if I wanted to be somewhere I was always absentmindedly thinking about when it would end and I could retreat back into the comfort of my smartphone. That sort reaction is so mentally draining and one of the small things I hadn't noticed until retreating wasn't an option anymore. With a flip-phone? Im eager to be everywhere for as long as possible! Events and little socials have regained their magic and joy! I am more tolerant towards things that would have felt like a waste of energy compared to being at home and find myself actively seeking to be in social spaces. They still exist!

The norm of physical attractiveness is totally different now. This is a huge one, social media does such a good job only showing attractive people. Its the largest requirement to get your content featured, you have to be attractive in some way. Instead of being tucked away into my phone while i'm waiting between classes, eating out, just being in public, I do a LOT of people watching. Its very fun. A result of this new found hobby is that I am looking at so many more faces that haven't been sorted into attractive vs not attractive by social media. Isn't that crazy? That not only do we get our brains absolutely rotted, but that it changes the way we rate other people? Regular average people online vs in real life is so different. My 'standards' for attractiveness are now based on the standard of the public, not the hand picked ecosystem of social media.

Tasks that used to be burdensome and inconvenient and chores that I used to have to plan for and make myself do have lost their difficulty and need for preparation. Dishes? Well i've got five minutes before I have to leave so ill just wash a few. Tidying up? Mm my breakfast is in the toaster, might as well wipe down the counters and sweep. Laundry? ... ok well don't get me started on laundry, I still cant make myself put that shit away...

The standards of the content I consume have gone up, if i'm going to sit down and watch something, I actually want to consume it rather than use it to pass the time. I obviously still have some social media on my laptop, but I really only post on Tumblr, use Pinterest for art references, and Reddit on the occasional. Instagram and Youtube are pretty much obsolete unless I need it for something specific. I play a lot of sudoku while waiting around, and if I remember to carry my book with me I read. One of my goals this year was to read 12 books, last year was 10. Truth be told the majority of my reading happens in the summer cause oh boy senior year of college is no joke. I cant wait to be able to put away my laptop for the summer. As mentioned on my first post, I still have an iphone without a sim card, it serves as alarm clock (I need 30), a menstrual tracker, banking apps, REM calculator, photo editor for when I need to print things for my journal, and my works database app for my schedule, and AO3. Oh my blessed AO3, my love for fan fiction was never expected to be dulled by the flip-phone. I still love to read a bedtime story every once in a while and support my fav authors!! One day I am going to be a rich woman who sponsors authors with money from my big girl job hehehe.

My social life was already a bit lackluster, I tend to get really sucked into school and keeping my head on my shoulders, but i've got two really good friends. Talking to people in my classes is easier because I don't have anything else to do and the flip-phone tends to be a good conversation starter. Ive def been much more participative in my colleges' social scene and clubs!

Oooo now onto the emotional stuff, depression and disassociation. For most of my teenage life 13-18 I have struggled with disassociation and anxiety, not much of it, I am blessed to be quite mentally well, but it was still present. The occasional bout of teenage depression slowly increased in frequency and strength as I got older and was allowed to have a phone (I didn't get one until 14). Disassociation became an ever present struggled that ebbed in and out of my mind constantly, creating a pattern of anxiety towards 'am I going to have a good month or a disassociated month' or 'what if it gets bad right before the semester starts and I don't get good grades' and 'i've been too good for too long, its inevitably going to get really bad soon'. The months preceding my switch to a flip-phone were particularly revealing, social media made be nauseated, being even near my phone made me anxious, I knew I had a problem with it (9 hours average of screen time), and my body started to react. Every time I would scroll on instagram reels for an hour or two, I would come out of it mindless and disassociated. A flip-phone has made my days GOOD CONSISTENTLY!!!!! I almost always have a good or neutral day!! In an effort to be more grateful and mindful I track my days in my journal, and the change in 'average day color' between when I had a smartphone vs flip-phone is obvious. Little squares filled in with red or orange highlighter suddenly stop, and little squares filled in with blues and yellows start. Obviously a flip-phone wont fix your life completely, but it has drastically improved mine. If you are considering getting a flip-phone, listen to me now when I say that its not a big decision with small rewards. Its one object of your life (a smartphone) traded in for something better for you (a flip-phone). That is all a phone is, it is an OBJECT, and an ACCESSORY, to your daily life. Its like deciding which water bottle or backpack to use for daily life, which shoes are your favorite, what book your going to read next. If you feel like you are succumbing to your smartphone and its controlling your life in any way, I encourage you to make the swap.

All done! Thanks for reading! Ill probably be back in a few months with another update, but if there are any questions I will answer them :)

[sorrowful-wallflower]

Growing Old

@struttingstag

April 16 Prompt: Growing Old | 1216 words | Jegulus

James was lying in the bed at their rented villa on the French Riveria with his now-husband. He still couldn't believe that Regulus agreed to date him let alone marry him. They had just spent the last month touring different countries in Europe and it was their last day before they had to go back home to London and back to real life. James was not ready to give up this little bubble they had created.

James looked over to find Regulus still sleeping, curled up into James' side with his head on his chest. James couldn't help but smile down at him. He raised one hand slightly to card his fingers through his hair. Regulus hummed in his sleep as he crowded James even more. James tried not to laugh but it came out anyway.

"Jamie," Regulus mumbled into his chest.

"Yeah, Starlight?"

"Go back to sleep."

"I'd love to but you know me, once I'm up, I'm up."

Regulus peeked up at him from under his lashes with a slight glare but both of them knew it didn't mean anything.

"Why did I marry you?"

"Because you love me and you want to grow old with me," James beamed at his husband.

"Oh, yeah. That," Regulus replied sleepily. "Well, stop moving so I can go back to sleep."

"We go home today, love."

"No."

"No?"

"Nope, we're gonna freeze time and stay here forever," Regulus declared as he gripped James' waist tighter.

"Is that so?"

"Yup."

James was okay with that plan.

**

James was running around the house trying to get everything ready for Harry's first day of reception. Regulus was in Harry's room getting him dressed. Regulus and James got the honour of dropping him off with Luna while Lily and Pandora got to pick him up after school since he was spending the night with them while James and Regulus went out for the night. In the last ten years, they tried to keep a weekly date night so they didn't get burnt out with work and parenthood.

"Are you ready, James?" Regulus called from the top of the stairs.

"Yeah. Just need to grab his jacket and then everything is set," James replied as he whirled around to look for the jacket he just had in his hand and now wasn't.

"You mean this jacket?" Regulus chuckled as he held up Harry's Spiderman jacket that Pandora got him for Christmas last year.

"I swear it was just in my hand," James laughed as he kissed his husband on the lips.

"I'm sure it was, Mon Soleil."

Regulus shook his head before he helped Harry into his jacket.

"All ready, Haz?" James asked the obviously excited five-year-old.

"Yeah. Is Luna gonna be in my class?"

"Yes, she is," Regulus confirmed.

Harry and Luna were only a few months apart, so they have been inseparable since birth. James and Regulus loaded Harry up into the car and made sure his buckle was secured before James pulled out of the drive. The drive to the school wasn't long but James could already feel the nerves about having his child start school and not being home all day anymore. They arrived and Harry was practically bouncing in his booster seat.

"Do you need help, Haz?" Regulus asked after he opened the back door.

"No. I got it."

Harry unbuckled himself and James handed him his backpack before the three of them walked up to the school and into his classroom.

**

James never wanted to end up in a hospital's waiting room again. He had just dropped Harry off with the Weasleys for the night when he got a call from the hospital. Regulus was in a car accident, so here he was sitting antsy as fuck and waiting to hear how his husband was doing. The receptionist refused to tell him anything aside from he was still in surgery.

Two hours later, the doctor finally came out to talk to him. By that time, James had called Lily, Pandora and Sirius. He hadn't told Harry yet. Mainly because he wanted to wait and find out how bad it was. James was listening to the doctor but the only thing that came through his cloudy mind was 'Regulus is going to be just fine.' James could have dropped to his knees right then and there in relief if Sirius wasn't holding him up.

After James got his bearings again, he followed the doctor back to the recovery room where Regulus was. Regulus had his leg elevated and in a cast as well as some scrapes and bruises along the side of his neck and chest. James hated that he was injured and mentally cursed whoever hit him.

"It's not as bad as it looks, love," Regulus chuckled lightly as he reached out for James' hand.

"It looks pretty bad, Reg," James whispered as he took his husband's hand. "What happened?"

"Somebody ran a red light and t-boned my passenger side. The doctor said if there was anybody else in the car, they wouldn't have survived and I'm lucky to only have a broken leg and some bruising," Regulus replied as he squeezed James' hand in reassurance. "Everything is going to be okay. Where's Harry?"

"At Ron's. I didn't want to worry him so I didn't tell him anything yet," James replied absentmindedly as he looked at Regulus' injuries.

"Probably a good idea," Regulus mused.

**

"Haz, hurry up before you're late for your own graduation," James shouted up the stairs.

"I'm coming, Dad. Don't get your knickers in a twist."

Regulus was sitting on the couch laughing quietly and James spun around to glare at him.

"I don't want to hear it," James pointed at him but had no bite to his tone.

"If I remember correctly, you were almost late to your own graduation too, so I wouldn't give him so much grief. He does take after his father after all."

"He's your son too, you know," James remarked before he kissed Regulus on the forehead. "Maybe, he'll come down quicker for you."

Regulus shrugged and stood up before he walked to the stairs and called for Harry, "Haz, it's time to go."

"Be right down, Papa," Harry replied and was on the landing within the next minute.

Regulus turned towards James and smirked.

**

The summer night air was a little sticky after the rain storm but it didn't stop the great-grandkids from playing in the puddles and the mud, no matter how much James and Regulus told them not to. James couldn't help the love that swelled in his heart as he watched them.

James and Regulus were sitting on their wrap-around porch watching them chase each other around the garden. The older two were making sure that the younger three were included instead of ignoring them like most teenagers would do. They weren't on their phones either which James appreciated.

"Can you believe we get to watch our great-grandkids run around like this?" Regulus asked as he cuddled closer to James on the porch swing.

"I told you we would," James replied as he kissed his forehead gently.

"Yeah, you did." Regulus smiled up at him before he continued, "I love you, Mon Soleil."

"I love you too, Mon étoile."

Also posted on Ao3: As Time Passes

[writing-whump]

Sorry for calling

I feel like this needs some more fallout and caretaking tbh

Summary: Matthew calls Isaiah when he gets sick at school shortly after the infection fiasco. Warning for emeto, mentions of scat.

"I'm sorry," Matthew said as he climbed into the car, struggling to close the door behind him.

Isaiah reached over him to pull it shut. "It's no trouble."

Matthew pouted at him, hands hugging his middle.

Isaiah sighed. After the infected wound, they have all been antsy and worried about Matthew's recovery. Matthew insisted on returning back to his classes as fast as possible though, arguing that wolves recovered faster and that the wound was healed anyway.

Isaiah suspected the wound and the infection might have healed, but Matthew's immune system got a hit, which was not something a shadow could repair. Shadows were great with immediate injuries - anything more long-term or slower acting, and they failed.

So when Matthew called him around lunch if Isaiah could pick him up, he jumped into action on high alert, figuring Matthew was struggling with his second day back at uni.

"I'm very very glad you called me," Isaiah added for good measure. Positive reinforcement, right?

"It's just a stomach ache," Matthew grumbled, giving him a sideway look. "But I figured you would be freaked out if I didn't."

That was fair. Isaiah and Seline were both over-worried since the infection, pestering Matthew with questions about his well-being, insisting he tell them every single thing. Maybe he overdid it, running Matthew out of the apartment before he was ready.

They drove a bit in silence, Isaiah taking measured turns. The road wasn't too crowded in the middle of the day, so it should be smooth sailing.

Matthew burped loudly, hand shooting to his mouth. "'scuse me."

"Did you eat something off? Or is it a bug? Do you have a fever? Tell me if-"

"Yeah, no," Matthew said. "Stop with the hundred questions. I just need to lie down."

"We'll be home in ten," Isaiah promised, gripping the wheel tighter.

He kept himself quiet after that, allowing himself occassional glances at Matthew, who resolutely scowled at the window, not meeting his gaze. His hands were still wrapped around his stomach though and he was sheet white, which Isaiah took as an answer enough.

The car stopped at the designated parking spot for their building. It was always a fight for every meter of space in Vienna, so their own parking spot was a luxury, even without the garage.

Isaiah thought he was watchful enough, but he was still surprised when Matthew opened the door, twisted to the side, leaning forward and loudly vomited right from the car.

"Oh man," Isaiah said with a grimace, reaching over to rub his back. Matthew's spine arched under his touch as he heaved, more yellow-coloured puke hitting the pavement.

Matthew burped loudly, shaking his head as if he could get the illness out of his ears, then pitched forward, catching himself barely on the car's door.

"Think you are done? Can you make it inside?" Isaiah asked, taking the car keys out and going around the car.

Matthew spat onto the ground, moaning a little. Isaiah carefully avoided the pool of sick, clasping his shoulder. He cupped the side of his neck. "Yep, feverish alright."

"Shut up," Matthew groaned, then threw his arm around Isaiah's neck for support, letting the dark-haired man to pull him out of the car. The sick wolf was swaying on his feet, hanging on to Isaiah for support. "I wanna lie down."

"Almost there," Isaiah said, readjusting his grip and throwing the car shut.

The building was mercifully empty, so they didn't have to wait very long for the elevator. Matthew had his eyes shut, weight more and more on Isaiah with each step, completely reliant on him. Isaiah didn't know if to be worried or flattered he was trusted so much. Or maybe Matthew was just fighting the nausea, cause he gagged right before the door.

"Just a second," Isaiah said, fumbling with the keys with only one hand available, before dragging Matthew inside to the bathroom on the ground floor.

Matthew was heaving before his knees hit the tiles, a string of sick landing beside the toilet before he managed to orient himself. Isaiah crouched next to him so he wouldn't sway to the side as he heaved up more chunky yellowish-brown lunch.

"Maybe you should have eaten something easier on the stomach," Isaiah mused, his grip tightening as Matthew buried his head in the bowl, back contracting with each heave. He really looked like he was going to choke on the sheer amount.

The other thing was the heat though, radiating off the red-haired man in waves. There was no preventing that with bland foods.

"Owww," Matthew whined, lifting himself up a bit. Another belch sneaked its way out, but it seemed there was finally a pause. "That hurt."

"Bet it did," Isaiah agreed. "Come on, you are going to bed."

"Still feel-urrrp- sick."

"Yeah, well, your fever is off the roof and this is not helping. I will get you a bucket, come on."

Shuffling out of the bathroom was slow and clumsy, with Matthew swaying dizzily and hanging onto Isaiah.

Situating Matthew in bed was an ordeal. Matthew was hugging the bucket like a lifeline, drooling and spitting over it. Isaiah had to fight him out of his sweaty clothes, changing them into pajamas and then collected everything from the kitchen he found helpful. A water bottle, a cup, a damp towel, paracetamol for the fever...

Matthew vomited the pills right after swallowing them, though, so there was no help the fever. He was miserable, curling up under the blankets around his stomach.

Isaiah had it not in his heart to leave him like that, changing his own bottom up and pants into sweat pants and a loose shirt he wouldn't mind getting ruined.

"Matt? Bud, would you like a hot water bottle? Or a sip of water?"

Matthew shook his head, burying his face into the mattress, curling up even more. His hands were digging into his stomach like he wanted to rip his insides open.

Isaiah felt utterly helpless. It wasn't fair he got sick right after going through days of fever and fighting off the infection. He hated it came so close after each other - that it probably caused this in the first place. No getting away from that stupid mistake.

Isaiah circled around the bed worryingly. He didn't want to force his presence just cause he was worried, and he wasn't about to leave but anywhere in the room seemed too far away...

Matthew opened one eye at him, brows knitted together in irritation or pain, Isaiah wasn't so sure. "What are you dancing around there for? Hop in."

Isaiah suppressed a smile, sliding into the bed beside him.

Isaiah wasn't sure what was and wasn't allowed, but Matthew quickly solved the issue as he turned from the edge of the bed to press his forehead against Isaiah's tigh.

"How are you doing down there?" Isaiah leaned against the wall sitting upright, hand hovering over the overheated face.

"Ugh. Cramping like a bitch."

"Wanna try some water?"

"Bleh. You want to finish me off?"

Isaiah shook his head in exasperation, grabbing the discarded wet towel and planting it back over Matthew's face.

The redhead grumbled, swiping at his hand half-heartedly. "Ow. That's cold."

The next hour crawled slowly forward. Matthew would sometimes reach for the bucket, mustering enough energy to heave over it emptily, only to slump right back down against Isaiah, curling around his stomach and moaning pitifully.

Isaiah sometimes dared to put a hand on his back or check his forehead for fever, but he wasn't sure what else to do. Whatever Marthew was doing couldn't count as sleep, as he turned and tossed around, throwing his blankets off only to shiver from the cold a few minutes later.

Isaiah was at his wit's end as Matthew dry heaved over the bucket for another 10 minutes painfully. He was also afraid to move from his spot, anxiety pinning him to place beside the ailing man.

"Come on, bud, just a sip of water. You will be dehydrated like this."

"Few hours won't matter," he grumbled, face twisting.

"Please."

Matthew groaned, somehow still managing to make that sound angrily and hoisted himself up on shaky hands.

Isaiah brought the bottle to his face, helping to steady it as Matthew took a few tentative sips, before chugging down a long sip.

"Hey, easy there." Isaiah gently pulled the bottle away.

Matthew scowled at him. "At least it won't burn so much coming up."

Isaiah sighed, both of the settling back into their positions. Keeping tabs on the time, he was about to call it a success, when Matthew didn't throw up in almost 40 minutes.

The silence was interrupted by sudden gurgling from Matthew's stomach.

Matthew moaned, pulled his legs up. "You are fucking kidding me."

"Matt?"

Matthew grumbled under his breath, uncurling with obvious effort and sitting up clumsily.

"What are you doing? Stay still-"

"Help me up, damn it," Matthew bossed, swaying as he threw his legs over the edge of the bed and almost face planting onto the ground.

Isaiah got up in an instant, hurrying to his side.

Matthew reached his hands towards him, two red splotches on his cheeks shining on his pale face. "I need the blasted bathroom. Stop asking."

Isaiah obediently kept silent, though Matthew's stomach decidedly did not. As the walked, Isaiah's arm around Matthew's waist, it gurgled loudly, making Matthew cringe in response.

When they reached the bathroom, Matthew untangled himself, shooing him away. "Don't you dare come in. I'm tolerating you enough."

Isaiah almost chuckled at the response, staying by the door. So the water wasn't staying down either way. Glorious.

He waited until Matthew appeared in the door, shaky and ashen and reaching for him without meeting his eyes. But he ended up curled against his leg again when they reached the bed.

After another hour of restless turning and sweating with no end in sight, he ended up messaging Seline.

When are you coming home?

It's Tuesday. Long day, remember? I got classes till 9 pm.

Isaiah groaned quietly. It was only half four. Matthew is sick. I don't know what to do, nothing is helping. Do you have anything in the kitchen I could give him?

No answer came for about two minutes, before his phone beeped again. I'll be there in half an hour.

He felt guilty immediately. No, it's fine. Just tell me what to do. He can't hold down anything.

See you soon, she wrote, adding a heart emoji.

***

Things were still a bit weird between her and Matthew. Especially since the infection.

She felt incredibly guilty he didn't tell them. That she made him feel like he couldn't tell them.

He was stupid for it, sure, but how could he doubt she wouldn't drop everything and help him, if he was in trouble? No matter what tension or argument or unresolved issues were between them? Wasn't that obvious?

The answer was simple. The same way she could believe he would hurt her.

Was it truly so he would? Since the conversation with Hector, it kept nagging at her. "It doesn't react to what I do, but to what you feel."

That's what he said. And maybe the problem was truly her and not Matthew. If she had trusted him, she wouldn't have been afraid no matter what expression he made or what his shadow did.

Seline was still thinking that over as she stepped into the apartment. The shoes were all over the hall again. She rolled her eyes, tucking away hers, Matthew's and Isaiah's, then hanging both of their hastily discarded coats.

She tiptoed closer to the room. The door was slightly open. The nervousness was making her stomach tight. It was stupid. Matthew was sick, Isaiah was certainly freaking out about it and she had some idea what to do.

But what if Matthew didn't want her there?

That made crossing the threshold of the door downright impossible. Her hands were freezing - she felt frozen to the spot.

She wasn't that good of a caretaker anyway. She would like to be, but when it came to someone being sick, she was more of the "fetch this" or "write an email" or "give cheerful advice" kind of person. The girlish noises and the comforting words of sympathy or whatever it was didn't come naturally to her - more like they felt pathetic and out of place and with no guarantee they were helping.

If you wanted a pragmatic solution, she was down for it. Emotional comfort during physical distress? Not so much. How many times did she not know how to comfort her mother during one of her chronic migraines, simply sitting beside her? How many times did she just watch her brother cry helplessly, not knowing what to say or what to do with her hands or where to look?

Seline could take the discomfort and the gross details, find a good ointment, suggest the right herbs, make the right tea. But holding someone's hand was not there. Maybe there was something wrong with her. Maybe she just rationalized the abilities out of herself.

Taking a deep breath, she peeked into the room.

Matthew was curled up on his side, blankets twisted around his legs in a mess. Isaiah was sitting upright next to him, hand on his shoulder as if he was trying to share some of his health with him through contact alone. Isaiah's hair stuck out in weird directions and he looked just as pale as Matthew. Add the fact he was out of his suit, which as alarming enough. Seline didn't think she, ever, saw him in sweat pants and an informal loose shirt before.

There it went again. Isaiah, she could read. She even dared to touch him or offer comfort or do whatever she felt like, because she felt first with him, and second-guessed herself later. Usually, after he had already responded - favorably till now - saving her from the panic she was out of place.

Isaiah looked up at her, their eyes locking. She gave him a hesitant smile. He looked back at Matthew and then to her, look pleading and hopeless.

Well, at least that was easy to solve. She went to the kitchen, gathering her idea and then returned quietly as possible, to Matthew's bedside table.

"I got these anti-emetic pills. If they work, we can get him some fever meds too and then he could just sleep it off. These things don't have a long duration anyway," she whispered.

Matthew groaned and turned to look at her, rubbing his eyes sleepily. "He is right here, you know."

She winced, then held out the package of pills to him.

They looked at each other in awkward silence, Matthew's gaze tired and confused, Seline's shy and wavering.

Isaiah was obviously too impatient for it, cause he reached over Matthew to grab the pills, grabbing a glass of water with the other hand. Before she could move, he was already offering them while Matthew lifted himself on one elbow.

There. Role done. What else was she supposed to do? The sensation of pins and needles run through her, like everytime when a room became stifling and unwelcoming, when she knew she wasn't supposed to be there anymore.

She had already left a note for her professor she wasn't coming though. Not like she could turn around and leave.

Matthew fell down back on the bed. Isaiah skillfully removed the glass out of the way so it wasn't knocked over.

Seline crossed her legs at the ankles, hugging herself close. She should change out of her outside clothes.

Isaiah raised an eyebrow at her and then started to untangle himself from the bed.

"Alright. I'll go make some tea. Peppermint is good for the stomach right?"

"I can mak-" she interrupted.

"Nope, I will. Need to stand a bit, my back hurts. Would you mind staying with him, please?"

He wasn't exactly giving her a choice with how he hurried. She snatched at his sleeve as he walked beside her.

Isaiah stopped for a second, hand over her elbow, squeezing briefly.

She frowned at him.

He smiled and walked out.

Great. Just great.

Seline sat down tentatively on the edge of the bed.

"Not gonna say hi?" Matthew grumbled.

She jumped at his raspy voice.

The redhead was on his side again, curled up around his stomach, hand tenderly laid over it. But positioned towards her now. His dark brown eyes were glassy with fever.

"Hi," she squicked.

Matthew glowered at her.

"How- ehm, how are you doing?"

"Staying down for now. Stomach cramping like hell, though."

"Ah, right...uhm, I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for? Not your fault."

She nodded. Not this time, it wasn't. "Can I get you anything?"

"Nah," he sighed, then a quiet burp escaped past his lips. He turned on his back, irritated. "I got one over-motivated nursemaid right over there. He is asking if he can bring me something every two damn minutes."

Seline chuckled at that. "Sounds like him."

"Seriously. We are so filling his need to take care of someone, it's ridiculous."

There was another long pause.

"Did...did you take your temperature?" she asked, looking for something to do.

"Yeah. A little elevated." He gave her a side-look, head turned towards his pillow. "You don't have to stay here if you don't want to. I'm no fun right now."

She bit her lip, smoothing her wavy hair and sliding to her feet, heart hammering. "If you don't want me here, I understand..."

"Huh?" His head jerked up to her. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's fine, it's fine, I'm sorry,..."

"Stop with the sorrys- now where do you think you are going?" He lifted himself up, hand towards her, before he swayed and flopped back into the bed with a whine.

"What are you doing, you moron, stay put-" she knelt on the bed next to him anxiously as he rubbed at his eyes again.

"I'm okay. Jst got a'lttle dizzy." Matthew's eyes were shut together and he was grimacing, sweat perling on his forehead and upper lip.

"Little elevated, huh?" she said skeptically, planting a hand to his forehead on impulse. "You are on fire!"

"Ow! Your hand is freaking cold!"

She drew her hand away immediately as if burned, but he caught it on the way, pulling it against his chest.

"You told me to leave," she protested, tugging at her hand helplessly.

"That's just a pharse. I wanted to be polite. You are supposed to say it's no trouble and insist on staying, dummy."

"Since when do you try to be polite?"

"Since you act so jumpy about everything I do!"

"I'm not jumpy, I just don't know what to say. You gotta be angry with me-"

"For what?" He blinked at her in genuine irritated confusion, his eyes somehow bigger and rounder than usual with the fever and redness to his cheeks.

Seline was so shocked at his incomprehension she forgot what she meant to say.

Matthew coughed, leaning his head back, as all the energy from the little spurt flowed out of him. "Now my head hurts too."

"You are probably dehydrated," she said absently, wiggling her fingers.

He opened his hand slightly, releasing her from his hold, squeezing his eyes shut again.

Seline skidded down from the bed, circling around to look through Isaiah's collected supplies. She found a discarded wet towel and poured some water over it from the giant bottle - why was there a bottle and not some kind of basin? - and swiped it over Matthew's forehead. "Just breathe. Relax. It will go away soon. We can try water in a few minutes. I got a real good rehydration solution for you. You will get better quickly."

"Hmmm," Matthew's furrowed brows smoothed over at the feel of the towel. He turned towards her, head tracking her movements. His right hand opened and closed, though he didn't say anything else.

The invitation couldn't have been clearer.

Seline slid her hand inside of his, squeezing his wrist, a warm fluttery feeling washing over her.

***

They ended up all in the bed with Matthew in the middle. Isaiah from one side, upright as always. Seline from the left, legs folded underneath her.

Matthew seemed to be content, stuffed between them like that. He almost didn't toss as he napped.

Sometimes, he landed with his head pressed against Isaiah's leg, sometimes in her lap.

Isaiah gave her an amused smile from time to time, settled at last.

She wasn't sure if she did everything right. But it seemed to be enough for the moment.

@bellysoupset

[samstudios8108]

So I have come down with the plague, meaning I only have energy to play Outer Wilds and that's about it. That also means I'm gonna post something that I drew awhile ago.

So uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... do you want oc stuff?

...

too bad you're getting oc stuff

Night of Caligo Tribe

MY SONNNN

I've talked about him a little bit on here; really tried my best to dial it down with my undying obsession with him, but I'm cracking so you get to hear allllll about him. Hopefully I get to expand on all this in the future, but for now you get a rant.

Okay okay okay,. Time to get right into it. Y'all have no idea how excited I am that I finally get to share him with the internet.

This is the one and only Night of Caligo Tribe. He is one of the 8 (9...10?) main characters for my book Shaken Earth. At the start of the book, Night is almost 14 years old. His birthday is October 16th.

Night is the Darkness Protector for the Five Tribes. I know right now I'm really just spouting random words; I promise I'll explain in the future. When I'm not dying. And when I actually have the motivation to really pick at the worldbuilding.

Time for a nice thick summary of his backstory. Once again, I hope to explain all in the future, and in greater detail.

Night grew up peacefully in the quiet town Laomedeia, his mother's love for space quickly bleeding onto him. Moondust taught Night everything she knew, and answered every question her son had to the best of her ability. Peaksnow was often traveling for his line of work, making the bond between Moondust and Night closer still.

Night grew up, went to school, and quickly met his first friend: Sun. Sun was a bubbly, loud spoken girl. She greeted Night with a smile the moment he walked into her 4th grade class. Despite Night being a whole year younger than her, he was in the same class as her, and despite the 2's strikingly different personalities and mannerisms, they hit it off really well.

Over the years, Night's relationship with Sun grew and grew. The 2 were almost inseparable, and they had even started to develop a gangle for friends as well. Burn and Raven had were a 2 years younger than Sun, but had joined in the neighborhood play after around a year of Night and Sun knowing each other.

As Night grew older, he started to realize the tensions within his family more. Maybe it was that the arguments between his parents grew more frequent, or Night finally grew a pair of eyes; he's not too sure what happened first.

Things especially started to worsen as the war between the Other Tribe grew longer and longer. Though the war had started when Night was only 6, it had really started to ware down on the Tribes, and many of the traveling working were highly encouraged to stay home until the war died down (if it did).

Peaksnow was always a man who loved his work, so this lockdown made him aggravated and antsy. Disagreements between him and his wife became more commonplace. Night would stay in his house less and less; it was much more fun to stay outside and be with friends. There would even be days where the fighting would get so bad, he'd stay over at Sun's for the night (with mom's permission, of course).

The fighting came to a head one night, a couple weeks after Night's 10th, and Moondust desperately needed a break. She told Night that she was going to leave for a couple days, but that she would be back. It distressed Night, but he knew that his mother would never abandon him. And she never did... not by choice at least.

A week went by without Moondust's return. 2 weeks went by. Then 3. By the end of the 3rd week, a knock at the door was heard. The police relayed the information they had found. Moondust had died somewhere near the border of Caligo Tribe. It was speculated to be some kind of Other Tribe attack. Moondust was a well-known face, a local celebrity and hard to miss among scientists. Her work was renowned, and the Other Tribe was notorious for attacking the pride of the Five Tribes. Unfortunately, she was one of the Tribes' treasures.

This broke Night. By the Spirit's he was only 10, and the one person who loved him more than the world, more than the universe, was dead. At first it was impossible to believe, but it quickly became the terrible reality of it.

After that, Night's family life entirely fell apart. Instead of Peaksnow taking up a more parental role, he simply became neglectful, taken over by the grief of losing his wife. Night practically lived at Sun's. Sun's parents — Rootwillow and Starwing — had seen the way Peaksnow had practically forgotten about his child, and came to the executive decision to adopt Night. For 2 years they fought the battle to be Night´s parents, until it finally became a reality.

Now 4 years after the war — nearly 4 years after his mother´s death — Night still hasn´t fully healed. Who could? It's was the death of a person who loved him infinitely. But the grief has turned Night bitter and untrusting. He finds it difficult to make meaningful relationships now. Deep down he knows it's partially a hole he dug himself in, but frankly he doesn't have the energy to get himself back out of it.

Anywayyyyyy, that's what I have before the book starts. Night is genuinely my comfort character. I've been with him through the 2020's. I've been through what he goes through during the book, and I've come out of the other side, happier from it. Night is almost a time machine back to when I was 12, where I get to pick apart the years I disassociated the most. I love Night, with all my heart.

[leafington]

𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙬𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙧 .ᐟ - kei t. 📼 ; 006

"You gonna keep starin' at your phone or are you gonna eat?" Tsukishkma quips smartly, humming when he takes a bite of his grilled eel. "Yeah, I am. My bad." Y/n jolts, her hand shakingly coming to grab her chopsticks and feed her chicken to herself. At the beginning, Tsukishima thought they were doing good! They exchanged in small talk, had some drinks, and got far more comfortable with each other, he hadn't said anything weird or inappropriate, therefore one would naturally think this date would be a success. Other than the fact that Y/n keeps checking her phone at any given chance. "I feel like I'm fighting for your engagement here." He sits back. "Sorry, it's just... work. We're pushing things fast so I think I'm just a little on the edge." She pokes at her dipping sauce with her meat, taking small bites.

Tsukishima catches it and grows antsy himself. "Don't think to much about it. You're with me now, leave all the extra stuff to them." It's his best attempt of cheering her up, causing her to smile lightly and chuckle, almost giggling if she didn't hold it back. "What's so funny?" He crosses his arms next. "You're so damn corny. Talking like you're taking care of me or something." Y/n focused back on her food. "Is that not what I'm supposed to do? I'm not some jackass." Another laugh. "I wouldn't hate it if you were. I like my men mean." She shrugs, eyeing him as she finally bites her meal again.

That woman has to be skilled in some sort of class of flattery, all she does is make him feel like he's underneath her in some way, needing to worship every object, surface, and material she touches. Tsukishima takes a deep breath, adjusting himself in his seat and trying to distract himself with his plate. "So... this idol stuff. Is it fun? I mean, you get to travel, sing, prance around—"

"That's not what being an idol is all about." Y/n cuts him off quickly, defensively. "It's more the lessons you learn from it. The people you meet are fun and interesting, but it's a lot more difficult and time consuming than people think." She continues, still prodding at her food.

"In my eyes, there are definitely a lot more things I could do." Y/n projects aloud, this time just staring at her bowl idly.

Whatever trance she's in, she snaps out of it to go back to her phone that lights up again scrolling through it once more. Her face wrinkles reading whatever popped up, he'd lost her the minute he got her back. Tsukishima's anxiety turned to frustration, he was hoping to sit down and talk to her more. Is he reading everything wrong? Does she not want him the way he does? Craving her attention every hour of the day only to be one-upped by whatever the hell is blowing up her phone.

He's not insecure by any means, if he isn't happy with something, he'll fix or adapt to it. But.. could it be safe to assume that it isn't a 'what' but a 'who'? Dammit, the idea of it bothers him so much, she's still playing with his emotions like a toy, using her charm to reel him in then throwing it all back at it like he means nothing. If that's the case...

Tsukishima abruptly stands from his spot, his long body making the table shift enough to catch Y/n off guard. "I just remembered I have early morning practice tomorrow. Can't be out too late." He puts on a façade of unfortune, patting himself down for a wallet. "Shouldn't keep you up either, c'mon, I'll take you home." He sets a few thousand yen bills on the table, prompting her to hurry. "R-Right. You think we could do this again?" Like hell he would. "We'll see."

It's funny really, to think that this is the same person who was once hounded by girls left and right. It makes him think if he were to, by random, accept one of those dumb little confessions, if it'd be just like this—one-sided or empty affection.

ᐟᐟ☆ fun facts 🥂

₊ ⊹ there are hidden metaphors and foreshadowing in the written portion 😉 ₊ ⊹ tsukishima deleted yn's number ₊ ⊹ yn intentionally started sending red hearts instead of a white one ₊ ⊹ text tone. shes picking up on his disinterest. ₊ ⊹ yachi saw both tweets do with that what you will ₊ ⊹ this isnt the first time kageyama's antagonized tsukishima to get him to talk or do something ₊ ⊹ tsukishima is projecting when girls would only get close to yamaguchi to talk to him which he why he hates it so much ₊ ⊹ parallels

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play the next tape? ──── yes. / previous.

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©2024 leafington dont steal please!! :)

[leian-studies]

I am soooooooooooooo tired today, slept very badly these past two days and I've goten so intense days the past two or three weeks.

Had just one class today and ive been writing my carrer's thesis since i got home nonstop

Just made myself some coffee because i need an energy boost, although i don't feel like drinking coffee because i don't want my heart rate to go up because I'm already feeling a bit antsy... but i need an energy boost to continue the evening so... coffe it is

[tisiphoness]

switched from one kind of stress (too many deadlines, existential crisis? despair?) to another (nothing is real, simply do not want to work)

[bobwess]

CW: 9/11

Let's preface this with: there are many people whose voices mean more about this. My story is a mild one, and just one of so many, and I'm not really sure why I'm writing it, but here I am.

CW: 9/11, death, suicide

I used to sit by the windows in the towers when I went to work with my Dad sometimes. There were a couple people who brought their kids every now and again during the summers. I used to think it was really cool that we were higher than all the helicopters that went by.

My dad was transferred out of there at the end of August 2001. He would have been there. Above the crash.

I was 9 years old when it happened. I was in my 4th grade classroom when it happened. It was the very beginning of the school day. We started class at 9am normally, and we were all sort of antsy because our teacher wasn't there. Which had never happened before. She came in maybe fifteen minutes late, crying. She told us something terrible happened but she wasn't allowed to say what.

Then she didn't teach us anything. We were told to read quietly for a little over an hour and then the vice principle came in and told us that we were going outside for extra recess. (Found out later it was after the South Tower fell but before the North.) The other classes didn't know anything was wrong, they were just excited for surprise recess. Our class was freaking out a bit because "something terrible happened", adults were crying, the teachers were all huddled together, and students were getting called to the office to go home left and right.

I was surprised they didn't send us home early for a while then, but later I figured out that we were too close. I think too many families knew someone and parents needed time to figure out what to do about it. Make arrangements for their kids to go somewhere while they handled things.

My parents both met me at the bus. My parents never came to the bus stop to get me, and my dad was supposed to be at work. They told me the twin towers were gone, and I made a joke about it (and I got yelled at.) I didn't know what "gone" meant yet.

Then my parents made me watch the news. For hours I watched footage of people dying, I watched news channels talk about how little we knew, and were there going to be more attacks? I listened to my dad talk about the people he knew, and try to figure out which of them were still alive. I didn't know many of them well. We heard about the initial emergency responders setting up base camp at the base of the towers, and then get killed for having done so.

I was young enough a lot of it went over my head, but sitting there for hours, watching the footage played over and over again, getting new angles when the news channels got them, seeing the people deciding to jump rather than burn. My friend's parents who were firefighters and EMTs up here going down to help fill the gaps left by losing so many of their responders at once.

It was chaos. No one felt safe. No one knew what to do. Not for months. Then it was all prep for war and freedom fries and other miscellaneous nonsense.

So many people I know lost someone. So many people I know saw it first hand. So many people I sort of knew died. At the time I didn't get it. It was too big, and it felt too fake, and I hadn't been to a funeral since I was 4. Death was a foreign concept to me then. Reserved for movies, which this felt like because it was on TV.

Over the next few months we were taught a lot about it. About how the country worked. About what this meant. The later stuff, the war stuff, obviously was a fair bit of misinformation. But there was something about learning about this tragedy first hand while it was happening and being sorted out as a kid. Really stuck with me.

I don't really have a point, I just wanted to talk about it I guess. I don't talk to Matt about this, he has his own worse story, so I don't really have anywhere else to just... talk. So. Thank you for listening.

(And for those of you like me who have anxiety about being taken the wrong way for "liking" a not-positive post, I know what you mean by liking it, don't worry.)

[cinnabun-faerie]

G'raha Tia Childhood Friends to Lovers Headcannons

General FFXIV Masterlist ↳ here

Y/N: This is exceptionally long more of a story? It's kind of childhood friends to crushes to strangers to lovers it seems. My apologies, but do enjoy.

You'd been friends as long as you could remember

You had defended him from kids who picked on him over his heterochromia

And you threatened to beat up those other kids to a pulp

But little G'raha didn't want you to hurt your hands

"Don't listen to them. I think your eyes are pretty like that!"

"Really?"

"Yes. Trust in me. I'm Y/N by the way. And you?"

"G'raha Tia."

He'd admired you ever since that moment

Quite possibly little G'raha loved you from the very beginning

And from then on, you two could almost never be separated

Always connected at the hip or the hands

He was always worried when you didn't show up to class some days

And at lunch he'd slip out of school to go over to your house

Your parent/guardian would tell him that you were sick and he'd be sent back to school

Frustrated that you're sick, he would work hard to make you some soup so you can feel better

"Please make sure Y/N gets this!"

And he'd hug you so tight when you return after a few days or so

Gosh it felt like forever without you

And you were equally as antsy when he didn't come to school

You'd make sure to copy notes and get his assignments to take to his home

You always climbed through the window of his room

"Make some room on your bed for me!"

"Y/N!? You can't be here! You're catch my cold!"

"That's okay. I just don't want you to be alone."

Your parent/guardian never thought you were missing when they found your bed empty

Your were probably with G'raha

They never worried as they trusted him 110%

Even as you both grew older

That trust was never lost

"Y/N, I hope you find a nice boy like G'raha."

Cue the eye roll

Why need to find a boy like G'raha when you had G'raha

Wait. What?

"Hey, Y/N. Have you ever kissed anyone?"

You'd blink as your best friend asked you innocently with shining eyes

"No. Have you?"

"No."

". . ."

"Do you want to be each other's first kiss?"

"Sure."

Nothing would change between you two right?

It was just a platonic kiss between best friends

No feelings whatsoever

Right?

"I don't know what to do."

"G'raha, really."

And you'd move in close to him, pressing your lips to his.

Like all first kisses, it was awkward and weird

And there was a lot of giggling going on between the both of you

But you continued to practice with each other

Nothing changed. That's a big fat lie.

You realized just how in love with him you were

G'raha's love for strengthened, keeping it to himself as he didn't think that someone so amazing as you would fall in love with him

But you did

And once you two were adults, you did different things but always kept in touch

That is, until you became the Warrior of Light

Then you lost track of each other for a while

Your hearts ached

But you were always on the other's mind

Your heart swelled with happiness when you heart the familiar voice calling out to you

And you could tell he was smiling from his hiding place

When you two were finally reunited, he was all smiles

"Did I not say we would meet again?"

But you could not get over how much he had changed yet so little

One thing was for sure, he was much more handsome

And like nothing had changed, you two went on as if no time had passed

But it had and you were wanted to tell him how you felt

Sooner rather than later

And like you feared, time seemed to not be on your side

Especially as G'raha found his purpose

That being said, he intended to seal himself inside of the Crystal Tower

"G'raha-"

"Don't step any closer, Y/N. I must do this."

This was the one place that you couldn't go with him

Before you knew it, you'd be separated from him by the door

"I love you!"

You fall to the ground, heartbroken as you were sure that you'd never see him again

But he'd heard you, wanting to shout it out to you that he too felt the same

"I love you, Y/N."

Barely a whisper but his words were full of emotion and truth

And it would be ages before you'd see him again

But ever were there reminders of him everywhere you'd went

No matter how much time had passed and how much you'd go through, he was always somewhere in your mind

You'd even dream of seeing him sometimes

And you'd wake up happy

You were sure of one thing

You'd find a way to get him back

And when you were summoned to the first, you were confused

Maybe a little scared

But you knew

You knew as soon as he spoke

that mysterious exarch fellow

It had to be him

It had to be your G'raha Tia

You would not mistake his voice for anyone because there was no one like him

Well, not in your eyes at least

So many times did you want to rip back the Exarch's hood and see if he was who you really thought

But you also were seeing a new side of him and you weren't entirely sure you liked it

The exarch was a little different from your G'raha

You wanted to get close to him but he always seemed to keep you at a distance

It hurt your heart a bit

Perhaps, he wasn't G'raha after all

Maybe after all that time of missing him, you were projecting your hope onto this person

You were angry at yourself

and you were angry at the exarch

And one day your emotions had come to the surface

"Stop it! Just. Stop talking. I can't bare to hear you anymore."

"I'm sorry?"

"I can't listen to you anymore. Send me on another mission or something. But I cannot bare to be alone here with you! Don't you understand that hearing you talk hurts me!? You sound just like him! But you're not him!"

". . ."

"If you were him, he'd know better than to play these stupid childish games with me! But you're not. So spare me the pain. Please. If you need anything from me, ask someone else to relay the message."

And you'd leave, slamming the door behind you, tears in your eyes as you'd go back to your room

And he'd be left in the Ocular, alone and hurt

He did not intend to deceive you nor did he want to hurt you

"I need to save you."

Even at the end when you were about to turn into a Sin eater, he kept his word

His goal was to save you from death even if it meant his own passing

But when his hood finally flew back revealing what you'd already known, you called out to him

And the last thing you two would think of before you saw black would be the three little words you had so longed to say to each other face to face

. . .

Skip forward a little

. . .

You would go back to the Source and wake G'raha from his slumber

Your hearts would be full as you would kiss him

His arms would wrap around your middle as he deepened the kiss

"I love you."

"I love you too, G'raha. But don't even think of leaving me again."

"No matter where I go, I'll always come back to you."

[vantemania]

Blossoming

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

➤ Genre: Fluff, crack

➤ Pairing: Jungkook x Y/N

➤ Word count: 1.1k

➤ A/N: This is just a super fluffy nervous Jungkook drabble I couldn't help thinking of the first time I saw him in that fit. It's pre-date btw! Imagine in the second gif he's got that date on his mind~ all cute & overthinking things 💛 ALSO, I have to say — when I chose the ahem... combination of the outfit Taehyung picks, I had no idea Tae had truly put those things together before irl... (& made it look amazing ofc)

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

"No one told me it would be this hard!" Dragging his hands down his face, Jungkook stared at his wardrobe with pure resentment. Everyone was always commenting on how 'boyfriend' he dressed, so why the fuck couldn't he figure out what to wear for a date?

Jungkook cast a longing look at his oversized T-shirts and collection of hoodies; he'd return to them soon. But for tonight, he needed something more... refined.

Earlier in the week, Jungkook had finally worked up the courage to ask you on a date. He'd been pining after you ever since you tripped over your own feet and spilled the contents of your bag, revealing anime keychains and video game themed pens. When he returned your Mario pen to you and you smiled in embarrassment, uttering a quiet thank you — he knew he wanted to be the reason you smiled from then on, and he needed to know what the sound of your laughter was like. It wasn't love at first sight, but he certainly felt something bloom in his chest.

The door to Jungkook's room inched open silently. Taehyung peeked in, taking in the scene before him. It appeared as though Jungkook's entire wardrobe was scattered about his room. Taehyung had experienced the maknae's indecision on an outfit before, but he'd never seen it this bad. Glancing at Jungkook, Taehyung noticed his hands were covering his face. He was still oblivious to Taehyung's presence. The boy seemed to be going through a crisis already, so Taehyung decided to be nice and spook him as little as possible.

With a tiny knock on the open door, Taehyung broke Jungkook out of his mental monologue. "Uh... I heard shouting and things crashing so I... came to check on you."

At the sound of his hyung's voice, Jungkook startled, his hands dropping from his face immediately. Taehyung snickered at the look of bewilderment mixed with something else... desperation? On Jungkook's face. "Looks like you could use some help?"

Hope dawned on the maknae's face, previously distraught eyes now sparkling. "Please? I don't have anything to wear," he whined.

With a tilt of his head, Taehyung smirked at the pleading look on Jungkook's face. "I'm sure I have a thing or two I could lend you for the night."

»»---------------------►

Jungkook checked himself out in the full length mirror in the hallway — he was never convinced it was a necessary component in the apartment before, but Jin had insisted on it, saying no home was complete without a full length mirror, and how else was he supposed to see just how handsome he looked that day?

Today, however, Jungkook was thankful. He fluffed his hair one more time — just to shake it out of his eyes — before taking a deep breath and heading down the hallway. Exhaling, he closed his eyes momentarily, a grin forming on his face. He was finally going to see you outside of class. Nervous didn't even begin to explain how he felt right then. Giddy, excited, antsy, terrified? He hoped you wouldn't think he was weird. All signs so far had pointed to you not hating him — hell, he'd take what he could get, just to see you smile was enough for him. With this on his mind, Jungkook bounded into the living room, a spring in his step.

Namjoon, who was lounging on the sofa watching TV, took one look at the boy who was practically vibrating with nerves and glee. "Jungkook." He muted the TV. "Come here for a second."

Halting mid-step, Jungkook obeyed, curious as to what his hyung wanted to say. Maybe he'd offer some sage advice? Or wish him good luck?

"Yes Namjoon hyung?" He answered, stepping in front of Namjoon's seated figure.

The older boy took a moment to scan Jungkook from head to toe. "You're going on a date?”

"Yes~" Jungkook beamed, a bright toothy smile enveloping his face.

"It's the first date, right?" Namjoon asked, quirking his brow. His eyes landed on one target. No, two.

Under his intense gaze, Jungkook shifted his feet. "Yes," he answered again, starting to feel his anxiety from earlier returning.

Namjoon took a deep breath. He considered how lucky the boys were to have a hyung like him to guide them. "I would reconsider that outfit."

Jungkook froze. "Wh- but why hyung?" He looked at himself, suddenly self conscious. He really thought he and Taehyung had come up with a solid first date look.

It took everything in Namjoon to not just deadpan his response. Namjoon settled on sighing instead. "Taehyung helped you, didn't he?"

"Ah... he did. Why?" Jungkook shifted back and forth on his feet, fingers fiddling with one another.

With a chuckle under his breath, Namjoon shook his head. Of course. "Jungkook. I admire Taehyung's sense of style most days, but you can't go on your first date wearing Gucci slippers and plaid pants."

»»---------------------►

Returning from his room, Jungkook crossed the hallway to Namjoon's room — where he had migrated to after trying to save Jungkook from making the mistake of being too..? Eccentric. For his first date with you. Impressions were everything, after all.

Namjoon glanced away from his computer's monitor as the younger boy entered. "There, now doesn't that feel so much better?" he asked, appraising the new and improved outfit.

Adjusting the sleeves on his yellow button-up, Jungkook grinned. "Do you really think she'll like this, hyung?"

Namjoon gave him a once over. "Well, if she has any taste, she will," he said.

The grin on Jungkook's face widened, crinkling his eyes. "I guess I'm about to find out," he replied, checking his watch.

"Go get 'em kid," Namjoon said, regarding the maknae leaving his room with a fondness in his eyes.

Jungkook reached the front door, after patting himself down to make sure he didn't forget anything. Phone, wallet, keys... He should be good.

His phone buzzed right after he patted his pocket to check it — a text from you saying you were on your way to meet him. A shy smile tugged at his lips.

Jungkook quickly texted you an answer before pocketing his phone and opening the door to his home. With one look over his shoulder before leaving, he adjusted the sleeves to his shirt once more and grinned.

"Let's get it."