#i'm slowly letting them out
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i may be unwell about them.
1st pic - raven yapping to swallowtail :3
2nd pic - ratio and raven yapping about aeroplanes/aviation !!
3rd pic - swal and ratio going on an ice cream date
4th pic - ratio scolding swal for being sleep deprived (while the latter sleeps)
#luminari loses his mind.#hsr oc#hsr ocs#hsr oc x canon#oc x canon#to clarify#raven is aroace#swal is the pan icon#swalposting !#ravenposting !#silly sibling brainrot#rattail /j#i'm slowly letting them out#dr ratio x oc
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anyone interested in talking about the iconic 2000's middle-grade-bordering-on-ya book series gallagher girls??
#okay incoming rant about this series#i read the first book when i was 10 or 11 and i was absolutely obssessed with it. i read it so many times i had the entire story memorized#the issue was that i could not find the rest of the series anywhere. it was either sold out or out of stock#and then i found out that only the first 3 books had been translated into my first language so at that point i kinda gave up on them#anyway#flashforward to a couple of weeks ago#i was re organizing my bookshelf and on the back i found LYKY (is this how y'all are abreviating it??)#and remembred how much i loved it#and since i'm now fluent in english and was stuck at home recovering from a surgery i decided to download the entire series and read it#to find out what the fuck happened afterwards#long story short i read all six books in 4 or 5 days#and i haven't stopped thinking about them since#it's actually so funny how little information we have in the first book#i went all of these years thinking it was mostly a silly series about a boarding school for spies when actually SO MUCH happens afterwards#i can't believe i went all of these years unaware of zach goode's existence#truly character of all time#but also i can't stop thinking about how interesting it would have been if zach had come to hate the circle and his mom during the series#rather than before#make it a true enemies to lovers#and have us witness that portion of his character developement in real time instead of being told about it#like him slowly realizing through cammie and his time at gallagher that maybe what they were doing is wrong#i think it would have been very interesting to read#although let's be real it took me until halfway through book four to trust him and he was fully one of the good guys so..#but yeah i have a lot more to say but these tags are long enough#gallagher girls#okay i just want to add another funny anecdote about my experience with this series#my copy of LYKY has an age warning in the back recomending that readers should be above 13 yo to read it#and i distinctly remember finishing it and thinking the warning was kind of dumb bcs besides a few mentions of death and other heavier topi#nothing really happened#and now i realize it was a warning for the rest of the series not just the first book because jesus fucking chirst everything after
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Still on the Witch from Mercury roll and then the ending of Evangelion 3.0 + 1.0 happened to me, so here's birthday boy in the epilogue, living the best life on Earth.
#the witch from mercury#g witch#gundam the witch from mercury#elan ceres#el4n#AU/ideas spam incoming#3 years later 4 goes by the name Jules Rey and he/they#4 and 5 both let their hair grow out#though 5 is closer in hair color to the real Elan#4's hair is a bit darker and had to be bleached regularly to keep with the image#but it's been slowly growing out#4 wasn't executed after the lost duel - instead was sent back to the science/research facility#locked up and studied with no expectations to live any longer than few months#due to the strain piloting and further testing put on their body#hence the permet scars#after Suletta found out about the whole situation from 5 the rescue mission was hatched#Belmeria helped the gang to get in#big jailbreak heist with alarms blaring and semi-conscious 4 wheeled out thinking he's probably hallucinating the whole thing#but nope it was very real and 4 joins them for the finale!#and lives of course#and so do the other 15 test subjects they got out of there in the process haha#anyway I'm fine why do you ask
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Yak and I are fake boyfriends. Yes, we started like that. But you know something? Yak is a huge green flag for me.
When I'm with Yak, I never question myself if I'm good enough. It's Yak who makes me realize how worthy I am.
Right now Yak is my peace of mind. I still don't understand why I wasted those eight years with you. Because right now, I really love myself when I'm with Yak.
Thank you, Yak, for coming into my life.
It's my pleasure. Alright then. Let's go home.
[Wandee Gooddday, 1.09]
#hands hands hands#it's always them with the hands#that first shot is so so so important to me#the way Dee lets go so slowly and puts the pressure on Yak's fingers to reassure him#and how Yak is still reaching for him and tries not to let go#i love them an unhealthy amount#i want to put them in my pocket and keep them forever#dee having these realisations and speaking them out loud was such a relief and so satisfying#dee letting go of yak's hand so he could take it again with such clarity of purpose and intent was so important#he wasn't just hanging on to yak because he was using yak and the fake relationship as a shield anymore#he was actively and purposefully choosing yak in the clearest way he could show it#i should probably write an actual post about that but it's late#i keep losing sleep to make gifs haha ugh#anyway i'm very normal about this show good night#wandee goodday#wandee goodday ep9#yakdee#yoryakwandee#wandeeyoryak#mia gifs wandee goodday things#mia gifs drama things#mia gifs things
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Honestly, getting real tired carrying and supporting other folks around here when most of them aren't returning the favor...
#i'm two seconds away from nuking everything in my queue and drafts out of spite#but i don't feel good about that bc there's innocent collateral#this is tumblr‚ the place you're supposed to fucking share the stuff that your friend's and other people are making#and i get it‚ it's not possible to like and reblog everything here‚ i understand that and i'm not expecting that#it just sucks constantly feeling like no one gives a shit about the stuff you're proud of and put effort into‚ y'know?#there's an entire subsection of this fandom that basically ignores any vper that isn't running modded on pc#which is like half the fucking fandom and i definitely pissed some of those people off just for choosing who i associate with#i've been writing in this fandom for three years now and i still don't feel like i have any fucking writing friends#or a good place to get technical support#the writing associates i do have either don't read anything i write or when they do won't comment for some inexplicable reason#(if you're an author on ao3 you know‚ first hand‚ damn well how much comments mean to authors‚ so what's the deal?)#(if you actually don't like it‚ it's fine‚ don't even touch the kudos button‚ no one has to know you were there)#i'm traumatized from my previous discord experiences and am very reluctant to let people into my circle without vetting them first#even tumblr communities is a struggle for me because it still feels a like a popularity/social influence contest#and i know i'm fucking slow#sue me for having a life outside of the internet and wanting to be mindful and thoughtfully engaged with other people's artwork#i talk to people in the tags#i've been leaving comments on every fic i read now#i'm not expecting people to bend over backwards for me#but fostering community and friendships requires mutual exchange#and it's shitty feeling like you're generosity is constantly being fucking wasted#i'm trying to keep it fun around here but a lot aren't helping with that and this isn't a job for one person#sorry not sorry for the rant but i've been feeling very salty about this as of late#i know the holidays can be stressful and the fandom in general has been slowly shrinking which has probably exacerbated these issues#a lot of folks have moved on#but these issues have always been here and they aren't magically going to go away unless people work on them#i'm not expecting anything i make to break the bank at this point but when your friends won't even put your crappy art on the fridge anymor#like why are we here?#i also don't understand the people who are following me but never interact with anything i make???#rambling into the void
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just going about my day idly contemplating how some of the ways hawke can interact with a romanced anders are not at all unlike how they interact with leandra (and a bit of carver too, especially with a purple hawke), and then thought about my hawke in the timeline where he romances anders and was hit straight in the face with 'was he ever actually in love, or was he just desperately trying to renegotiate with his mother's ghost in any way he could' and now i need to lie down. this is the power of dragon age 2
#'you don't know my mother' haunting me through the years#dragon age#dragon age 2#hawke#On second thought let's not go to Kirkwall; it is a silly place#there are of course as many ways to do/read that relationship as there are players to interact with it haha and all valid!#but my personal version of handers is sooo fucked up and bad times for everyone involved and I love it haha.#this is a relationship neither of them should have been in and that made everything worse and everyone unhappy in the end#locked tomb levels of the horrors of love. i ship it but in the way that I want to make it sadder and more gutwrenching each time#to be clear this is a very mutual two-way kind of fucked up but I think varric in his loyalty and love would downplay hawke's side of it#for huge swathes of their relationship anders is not in a mental place to be a good partner and the emotional blackmail is Not Okay#(but it's just like how mother used to make it! hawke's soul cries sadly as it reaches for it hungrily)#which is in some ways fair enough no one could accuse him of not warning you ahead of time fjskda#but hawke is messy about it in a way only available to a covert people pleaser who has never had a millisecond of therapy#with some added stuff that my hawke is always acespec in some form and when he gets together with anders...#is the sex something he doesn't particularly care to have or not have but it 'makes anders happy'/he longs to feel wanted *and* needed#and also a way he gets out of ever being *actually* vulnerable (which I think he'd had to be with varric for example if he Went There )#'you want the hawke who's in your head so badly and I kind of wish I were that hawke too. so let's be collaborateurs with that fantasy'#(and then maybe if I do it right every time you'll finally be happy hawke says in his heart looking at this leandra-anders phantom form)#(and echoing stuff in varric's relationship to hawke but I think the important distinction there is that varric -- is a craftsman haha#he KNOWS when he's lying/making up a story he KNOWS the difference between what is and what he wishes the world was#(I think there's some deep longing there to not know; for it to blend together or have the power to change things. but he always knows)#which ironically leaves him in a better position to actually see and understand hawke the person#even as he is creating hawke the literary figure. almost to protect him in some ways? god da2 is so full of STUFF!!! I adore it)#and of course anders gets so disillusioned with hawke's inertia and lack of action (you all but married this man anders!#you should know this about him he's already carrying the whole family and city on his shoulders if you add a gram more he'll collapse!)#and hawke feels so desperately hurt that the promise anders seemed to make that he'd be enough -- that he could fix things for him --#('I'm the one bright light in kirkwall and that apparently doesn't count for shit so I'm just slowly turning to ash for you')#turned out to be untrue. anyway. sad now. imagine them meeting like twenty years on what the fuck could you even say to each other then#(I can't imagine Hawke ever physically hurting anyone he loves so he just tells Anders to leave at the end of DA2. they COULD meet again
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I brought in some homemade peanut butter fudge for my coworkers, today, as well as some ornaments as little holiday gifts, and everyone who saw me expressed appreciation ... it felt really nice, I won't lie. Just ... to do something small for others like this. And I've been noticing that whenever I reach out and try to help or comfort or offer something to someone else, it makes me feel a bit better.
I think sending out tree messages yesterday had a similar effect, and helping the kiddos on Thursday with building gingerbread houses and making shakers for their sing-a-long. It's hard to put into words, but it feels like I'm finally coming out of the funk I've been in, and it's because I'm choosing to be kind in spite of everything I'm going through.
#I think it's fair to say 2024 was really hard on me ... but I'm glad I'm ending it on a strong note#we still have a ways to go before the new year‚ but I feel happier than I have in a long time#and I'm going to choose to be kind and positive rather than letting myself constantly stew in bitterness#I'll be doing my best to sort out this blog before the new year comes‚ but I won't try to do more than I can realistically do#also I wanted to say thank you to you guys‚ again /gen#I haven't been the most active here but it means a lot that you're all still here#I'm very slowly allowing myself to enjoy things again and express the same passion I did in the past#so hopefully I'll seriously get back into posting about my ships and Project Moon stuff soon#I have many thoughts and opinions--as usual /lh#I also want to start replaying Linbus from the beginning ... I think it's time to take a crack at rewriting it with Sherry as a Sinner#I'm going to try and finish reading Red Chamber‚ first‚ though--because I think I want to liveblog things when I replay#just share it with you guys ... I want you to know why I love it and the characters so much--and also why I dislike certain characters#okay--this got long‚ but I do seriously feel a lot better#and the fact it's on RolEva anniversary too ... perhaps I will finally post about them again#scattered pages
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anyways. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT.
#the amazing digital circus#tadc#tadc 2#tadc spoilers#tadc 2 spoilers#i was NOT expecting it to get so self-aware!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what the hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#waiting for all the pomni screenshots to come flooding in bc she was a Mood this whole episode#i love that they're leaning into her 'done-with-this-bs' attitude#letting her swear and things like that. i think it just adds to her reluctant hero vibe so much and i'm HERE FOR IT#y'all know i love my reluctant protags#OK BUT RAGATHA WITH THE FINGER GUNS WAS SO CUTE FOR NO REASON. SHE'S LIKE SLOWLY CLIMBING UP THERE ON MY LIST OF FAVES#her trying to push aside what happened to be there for pom 🥺🥺#ALSO I'M SO GLAD ZOOBLE IS OK BUT MAN I WISH THEY HAD MORE SCREENTIME#THEM BEING SOFT IN THAT ONE SCENE. GOD I HOPE THEIR CHARACTER IS EXPLORED FURTHER#i do wish they had cut down on the whole jax thing though simply because i know he's a fan fave and they wanna make the fans happy#it's just a little over the top and his presence is just kinda overwhelming. idk i still love him but i think it'll take time before i can#really see him as a more fleshed-out character#we are Not going to be talking about gummigoo because that was CRUEL.#GOD. I KNOW CAINE CAN'T HELP IT BC HE'S AN AI AND DOESN'T UNDERSTAND POMNI'S NEED FOR CONNECTION BUT DAMN. LIKE SERIOUSLY.#OK THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY. FOR NOW. BUT I WILL NOT BE SHUTTING UP ABOUT THIS
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Had a weird Hollow Knight-related dream a couple days ago, so I decided to draw a major scene I remembered from it dgsgshf
More context will be in the tags, for those interested!
#hollow knight#little ghost#hk ghost#the knight#hk hornet#hornet#alright. as of writing these tags it's been a week since the original dream so! let's see what i remember dgsgsgf#i was playing a game. which was a sequel to hollow knight ((Not silksong though))#there was some new sort of divine infection in hallownest and hornet had asked ghost to investigate it. they ended the last one after all!#the red glowy spike gate thingy is what you jumped into to enter the 'infected' areas#though it actually led directly to a hub world type of place. which was kinda like an expanded base for the grimm troupe?#more like an entire lair instead of a camp. also some greek gods were there for some reason lmao. they had their own special rooms too#so sidenote but- new headcanon that there are grimm troupe members named ares athena artemis &... venus lmao. not aphrodite for some reason#also monomon was there?? i think??? except she was cooking????? she had a sidequest to deliver something to someone though i dunno hdgfhdgh#i remember going back to the grimm troupe lair a couple times throughout my 'playthrough'#anyway. the 'infection' this time around was more of a glitchy physical corruption thing? rather than a mind corruption.#though there were still aggressive enemies to fight. but i remember getting a map from cornifer early on and he was. probably infected#i think part of his body was covered in electricity or something? so he wasn't fully visible? but he was still acting normally#there was also a moth who was the seer but then later wasn't the seer (but was still the same moth) dghgdhf. i delivered stuff to her#that glowing white wall thing in the drawing was like a one-way gate. you could only cross it from the other side and ghost came from there#i guess things looped back up somehow i dunno ghdgfhgf#anyway. ghost's red eyes. those are significant! those happened while i was walking through a corridor. it had pools of shallow water#(shallow enough to just walk through) and also creatures that were lightseeds but red.the implication was that they were full of Blood lmao#and as i went along killing them--as one does--as i walked through the hall. they started turning the water red too#there was also narration about this as it was happening ashdgsf. specifically the narrator said the water turned red before it actually did#ghost's eyes slowly turned red too. but aside from that they were fine! since. they're the player character and the player is perfectly fin#BUT. when they encountered hornet again. she thought they were infected. and that she lost the only family she had left </3#she didn't attack though. instead she just jumped into the red spike gate without a word. decided to try to fix everything herself#but eventually you'd encounter her again down below and she'd fight you. didn't actually get to that in the dream though#aand i'm out of tags </3 i wanted to talk about what i'd do to make this make more sense as an au or something now that i'm awake but. :c
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You ever wake up from a dream so fucked that you have to sit there for 10 minutes after waking to rewrite the ending so that you can move on with your day or are you normal
#messages from knave#i keep having these ongoing dreams about an alternate reality version of my life#mainly about my parents#like right after i lost my job i had a dream that they'd moved to another state on a whim#and just told me to either upend my entire life to move to florida with them or figure it out#and i ended up moving into a much shittier apartment before realizing 'wait i have a whole house' and moving back into my own house in NJ#and then last night i dreamed I'd visited them and spent a day with my nephews then we all went to a wrestling match#and then after almost being run over by my dad cause he started driving while i was getting into the car#we go back to their house and i take a fat nap only to wake up in the dream and discover that I've disturbed this thumbelina sized toddler#that my mom jad apparentky adopted and then completely forgot about. and we wtruggled to getbit comfortable again on its little ved#then it escaped as toddlers do and i went through a comedy of errors trying to find it only to find it seemingly plastic and lifeless#only for it to start going through rapid metamorphosis into an adult and running around my parents house#my dad and i tried to stop it from growing up becuase every transformation opened up a new pocket dimension or something#then the dream changed into something else as my brain slowly booted back up from a migraine back into reality and i woke up#but the visage of a polly pocket sized toddler being left behind in my adult sized bed really shook me for some reason#it was so small and it was on a teeny pink pillow and it had a little purple teddy it kept dropping#but now I'm thinking of the logitstics of actually raising a child you could step on and squash by accident#that must be nerve wracking like how did thumbelina make it to adulthood without being confibed to a single room or even a single table#cause my first instinct is to build a diarama on a table for them and never let them leave until they're old enough to dodge
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One of my favorite hobbies to engage in is ignoring the canon course of video game romances
#yes my warden in an open relationship will have a foursome at the pearl#and yes I will continue to have Morrigan sleep with Orest after the “I love you and I hate it” conversation#I am digging into her brain so deep rn#morri seeing sex as the main manipulation tool she has and being so scared to have orest be just In Love With Her#she says no to his invitation of sex once and he just goes oh okay I'm sorry#I still love you that's okay#and it scares the bejesus out of her#time to keep fucking him so I can pretend that he just wants me for my body#time to let him fuck other people so it'll be easier for him to leave me in the end#I can't have him so dependent on me for his happiness or else it will destroy him (the man I love) in the end#I have to let him leave my side slowly or else he'll die if I separate myself from him I saw what happened with his ex-lover (tamlen)#let him be happy with zevran or leliana or anyone#fool woman he will never let you leave and never stop loving you#I love morrigan and her fucked up relationship with intimacy so much#orest is also especially easy to think you're manipulating because he acts so stupid (and it's only partially an act)#he loves so openly and so intensely and yet he's also clearly very easily drawn in with the appeal of a Nice Ass#I could talk about them forever#I'm editing an old fic to better fit with their dynamic and the canon of the romance#and the orest x morri content I've written since I first wrote this fic#and this doesn't just apply to orest and morrigan#I ignore that tamlen and gorim are female warden LIs only#I ignore that Blackwall is “straight” (blackwall may be but thom isn't that's for sure)#I do whatever the fuck I want with da2#anyway time to stop rambling in the tags and actually get back to writing#dragon age#dragon age origins#dragon age ii#dragon age inquisition#original content#and mainly
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do you think the fact that its never stated that anthea and concordia's last names are "harmonia gropius" like it is for n and ghetsis is intentional. like it may just be because they're severely underutilized, but n and ghetsis had their names specifically stated in the directors columns and a fan meeting respectively.
n mentions he was given the name harmonia, did ghetsis withold that name from anthea and concordia on purpose? if he did, why? he'd still need them to trust him, so they'd keep raising n in his place. not sharing that name is maybe an effort to distance himself, maybe he only cared about n having that level of trust with him?
#clai speaks#alder trying to fill out government documents for them bc ghetsis never did and finding its a nightmare#''what do you mean you Don't have a last name'' ''fath-- ghetsis didnt give either of us one'' ''n has one??'' ''we're not n i guess''#ooo do you think n and by extension a&c would change their last name#n holds on to it for a very long time i think. idk if he would ever actually get rid of it but sometimes i think about it#learning to slowly let go of his awful past and his awful excuse of a dad yknow#but also just thematically. the name fits him too well HDUGDHF#cant imagine n being called anything but natural harmonia gropius. its also such a pretty name#i'm getting offtopic. i've never even seen Fans call them ''anthea harmonia'' or whatever its JUST Anthea/Concordia#its just interesting to me that the reveals for n and ghetsis were so deliberate and its radio silence on a&c
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When you figure out have to characterise Gale Dekarios without getting a headache lmk
honestly soothing to know this is a Universal Experience
#gale dekarios#baldur's gate 3#bg3#oakweave#I think it's also when you put him next to Halsin that it becomes so much harder#because a lot of popular fic including Gale is Bloodweave and then you can easily fall back onto a bouba/kiki dynamic#but these two are some bouba/bouba motherfuckers#so you have to define them beyond that but ALSO beyond their magical capabilities#because both of their characters are so rooted in having a complicated relationship with being defined by their abilities#while at the same time allowing them to be coloured by their experiences?#which is INSANE because I don't have a 17 intelligence!!!!#I'm not even a native speaker!!! how the fuck am I supposed to emulate Gale's speech pattern in a SECOND LANGUAGE smh#at least halsin has the fucking decency to have an 8 intelligence. thank you good sir#but yeah no this rarepair is a puzzle that I cannot figure out#compels me though#(in other words I've veeerrrrry slowly been working on something while procrastinating all the cleaning I have to do in my house)#(it is deeply self-indulgent and so far Gale has been Entirely Too Quiet to be in character)#(and honestly? I am going to try and Care Less because hey man. come on.)#(do try to let your hobbies be FUN)#flipcitrus#sorry i forgot to tag you i am Bad at Tagging
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show tempe gang crossover with the morris islanders would actually have been the best episode of bones ever. btw
#please ignore the rest of the tags i will just be making things up#okay they start out in carolina but at least half the episode takes place in dc. do not ask me how travel logistics would work#tory spends the entire episode off with tempe doing bone stuff. booth feels upstaged by a 16-year-old girl#so he goes and hangs out with ben who does NOT trust him right off the bat#ben ends up having to run him over to liri at some point because there's crime afoot and tom is busy. they spend most of the ride in silenc#ofc they end up bonding Eventually because they are both obsessed with crazy emotionally stunted redheads named t brennan#tory is more effective than any of the squinterns and manages to piss hodgins off so bad just by existing#coop hangs out in the lab as saroyan tries to kick him out thirty times. he just keeps showing up and she can't prove who's letting him in#(it's tempe.) angela loves tory but tory does not love angela back. saroyan tolerates her. sweets likes her but knows she's hiding somethin#comes to the conclusion that she can read her friends minds and slowly drives himself crazy because obviously that can't be true#tory brings hi along whenever she needs someone with people skills and he is MORE than happy to participate in a hodgins experiment#hi gets to be king of the lab for about ten minutes. shelton hits it off with angela immediately and they solve half the case together#booth fucking HATES hi because he's evasive and really good at the manipulation thing. booth can't win verbal sparring and he gets Big Mad#at one point the four of them are in an interrogation room together (MISTAKE) because tory had them meddling a little too close to the sun#and booth is trying so hard to question them which didn't work even when they COULDN'T read each other's minds#tory figures out who did it and hi steals her thunder a la shrek wasnt vandalized he gave birth#temperance tells tory 'i know you've got a secret sweets told me and even though i don't trust psychology i find he's insightful' etc etc#tory's like well i might be but i can't tell you it's not just my secret and you wouldn't believe me anyway#because let's be real tempe WOULDNT believe her#meanwhile saroyan convinced by sweets paranoia managed to get a sample of tory's blood and test it and is like HEY WHAT THE FUCK#gets hodgins and they just stare at the results together and delve into conspiracy theories. he's like i KNEW there were werewolves#they debate telling tempe but know it wouldnt end well for the kids and decide to get rid of the evidence. but hodgins is SO smug#also angela spends the whole episode trying to convince everyone hi and shelton are dating and no one believes her#they finally see them kiss or something and they're all somehow floored and angela's just like yeah? duh?#if anyone read this i'm sorry and why
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fledgling verse byan finding themself painfully tempted at times to just completely give in to the beast... because they're exhausted and depressed and in pain and the beast doesn't have to deal any of that... and maybe some people deserve to be torn to shreds... maybe they deserve the opportunity to be the monster for once instead of the victim... and it'd be so much easier to just let go and lose control...
...but, tired and hurt as they are, they're also being afraid of losing themself, losing all the pieces that make them who they are as a person, all these things they spent their life fighting so hard to maintain & protect - which includes their control over themself........
#thinking about them in their worst moments losing that grip on their beast... and finding some enjoyment & even freedom in it in the moment#maybe enough so that they let it happen a little more often... but slowly come to the horrific realization that the more they let it out#the harder it gets to rein it back in. the harder it gets to maintain control.#I'm just dabbling with ideas rn but it could be a fun little conflict to play with#and considering how horrendously depressed baby vamp byan is.....#it'd be so easy for them to spiral into this battle with themself/the beast...... :)#I mean I guess in a way it boils down to the conflict that every vamp faces but like.#I'm looking at it more specifically from the angle of a mentally unstable teenager who kinda wants to die#but kinda wants to tear the world down too...#and has this option where they CAN kind of just.... turn everything off AND have the satisfaction of being dangerous & destructive#idk idk u know me. I'm secretly always thinking about fledgling verse adhgjsg#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don't @ me.#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ verse: fledgling.
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been scribblin with the dip pens to prepare for inking the next comic (yuuto⏫’s “origin story” kind of basically) and wow turns out I can do anything I want forever
yuuto’s new friends names of amy and linh >:]c
#UTAU#sawayama yuuto#bakuspecial#[comic tag pending]#I'll be drawing about just the beginning of this whole plot this time round. but boy oh boy if I were paid to serialize this!!#well even if I wont. I will hopefully get to chip away at it a bit at a time. over the next uhhhhh ten years#in another news. I think somethings up with the dip pens. about anything comes out looking good with them#its scary!! I kept looking at my sketches like no way these are gonna work out. but I'll do it for the practice hour#and then I do it and it always turns out pretty good. what the hells!!! thats weird!! thats kinda scary I like it!!!#and like I'm absolutely not even that good with a dip pen yet!! 1/Ive just had these for uhh. two days. and 2/my hands are NOT steady#its why u see me undo and redo a line 298473987 times twice a half hour. it was caught on stream multiple times#but!! the dip pen's making me commit to a line. and also I'm slowly internalizing that anything'd come out okay with them#as long as I have a sketch. boy oh boy is freehanding with these hard#its so. idk its so nice!! its so fun. somehow a lot less pressure than the usual stuff I do lol#I cant wait to really get into drawing this comic... I cant wait to force all of u to look at yuuto&co#you WILL see and hear my baby boy#dskjfhsjk Im so glad the senpai lets me do this. I mean even if he doesnt I will do it anyway. its just gonna suck#but Im so happy I get to do this with him actually#hehehe >:]c
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