#i'm seriously so emotional over them
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I'm into season 2 now but the Vatos mean everything to me, like they are the official representation of the spirit of humanity to me, they are how and why human society has come as far as it has, and yes I know about the deleted scene but I'm ignoring that, it was deleted, let me have this grefhiuowdi
#the walking dead#statcat's first time watching twd#i'm seriously so emotional over them#almost all of the nursing home staff just fucking abandons their residents when the world goes to shit#except for one nurse and the CUSTODIAN#and then a bunch of the residents' adult grandchildren (and teenage miguel) start trickling in looking for their grandparents in this chaos#and staying#and they're all looking after these elders and doing the best they can#when so many others just leave older people for dead#but they're PEOPLE#and FAMILY#and THIS is what humanity is#and the LITTLE DOGS#they're being looked after too#and my heart is full even though i know all they can do is live holed away as long as they can
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#chronic blogging#current emotion#post-hysto pain has been getting steadily worse over the last month & is now accompanied by near constant nausea#can't even do my PT stretches anymore bc of how bad it hurts#so on monday i finally had a FUCK IT IT'S TANTRUM TIME#and checked myself into urgent care for severe abdominal pains#which finally fucking FINALLY resulted in a referral for a second opinion from a different gyno surgeon#who i hope will finally run the ultrasound & CT scan i've been begging other healthcare providers for for months#THERE IS SOMETHING EXTREMELY WRONG WITH MY BODY AND NOBODY IS LISTENING TO ME AND I'M FED UP WITH PRETENDING#THAT EVERYTHING IS WITHIN NORMAL PARAMETERS AND I JUST NEED TO BE PATIENT FOR HEALING & PRACTICE SELF CARE#watching the urgent care PA's face journey as i explained my symptoms how long i've had them & how apathetic my surgeon's response has been#was so incredibly vindicating & cathartic. she gave me a tactful 'i don't necessarily agree with that assessment......'#told me i have already been doing everything she would've recommended & we're long overdue for a second opinion since it isn't helping#and gave me her blessing to go pitch a fit in the ER if my symptoms get any worse before my appointment with the new surgeon#i'm EXHAUSTED and i'm SCARED and it's ABOUT GODDAMN TIME someone in medicine listened to me & took me seriously#been hovering in the 4-7 range on this chart for a disgusting amount of time. now i'm locked in at 8+ and not backing down
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Everyone should go watch Densel’s Animal Crossing series on YouTube right now just for these moments alone
#Animal Crossing#Tom Nook#Isabelle#They're just so!!!!! You know?????#I would put them on the self ship blog but an Event is going on over there this month#So we get MAIN posting#The HUG I'm falling apart#The SASS#I love it so much#The entire series is incredibly funny and seriously really good#If you're okay with Video Game characters are real and have emotions in a Meta Way plotlines#Which I know is one of those things that bothers people#but I still reccomend it because the first like 5 are just funny one offs#And then you get to Town Meeting and things go crazy#In a really really good way#And again it's VERY funny#I love it a lot and this hug gif is going to be playing in my head forever
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When I started watching If it's with you I never expected to be so invested in these wonderful characters. This is what I have been missing in some of the shows I've been watching. Ryuji-kun never belittled Amane for who he was and he never assumed anything about Amane either. He kept an open ear, he noticed, he observed and he came to understand who Amane was as a person. They had a great rapport as friends. But when Amane confessed Ryuji didn't push him away but took time to think about it, talk to Amane and find his own feelings in all this. Talk about maturity. None of the adults are doing it like my 2 favourite boys.
Amane always wrapped himself up in the fear of the past repeating. The fear of rejection was always lurking around but being with Ryuji gave him freedom because Ryuji could see past the facade he put up to deal with the pain he was feeling. Ryuji helped him overcome that fear by reassuring him that he is allowed to be who he wants to be. Ryuji gave him real confidence, not to say that Amane wasn't confident before, but now he could be free to express himself knowing that there's at least one person who would accept him as he was.
This final episode was everything I wanted from the show. Both of them were nervous and anxious and they took the time to talk and understand where they are in this relationship. That's the beauty of the show. Each time Amane was on the verge of running away, Ryuji always pulled him back, grounded him and spoke to him so that they would be on the page.
The honesty between them is something I really cherish. Ryuji never made any false promises to love Amane but he honestly expressed how he was feeling and what he expected going forward and that aligned with Amane, because that's what dating means. You take the time to fall in love and discover things about the other person.
I wasn't ready for this show to be over, but I'm so happy with the way it ended that I couldn't ask for more. This show has shot up to the top of my Japanese BL list. I'll cherish this show and these boys.
#kimi to nara koi wo shite mite mo#if it's with you#amane x ryuji#they had a fireworks meet up and that one sided love has now turned into them dating?!?#oh how i love them#i can't express the multitude of emotions coursing through my body as I watched them finally come together and kiss#even asking permission to kiss!!! oh how sweet theyare#I'm never getting over this show#i want more shows like this#seriously tho these kids were way more mature than so many adults I've seen in my screen
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grim reminders today how fucking obnoxious most of the got/hotd fandom is even on a fringe interest level with the single exception of alt shift x and glidus, who continue to fill me with joy with several hour episode commentary filled with excitement and joy and lore speculation
#grrm bought them burritos for a reason#blood and cheese was like. really good still shut up lmao#absolutely one of my top 3 child murders across the histories and asoiaf at least show wise#it was really good y'all are just pretentious because you 'read the book'#seriously I'm so tired of it like what do you want everyone to clap? you want a little medal?#heaven forbid adaptation actually adapts and translates a story well from one medium to another#and makes some changes that ground the conflict emotionally instead of gloss over human emotion like a history textbook#heaven forbid. HEAVEN FORBID.#also great shots. GREAT SHOTS. cinnamon topography
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THEY BRING TAI LUNG BACK JUST TO 'STEAL HIS KUNG FU'??? Excuse me???
#i mean seriously. you establish that tai lung can come back. you get ian mcshane on board to voice the character#you introduce the fact that he knows po is the dragon warrior and potentially still harbors some resentment about that#and instead of just letting him be the narrative foil in a study about hubris that echoes the first movie with po's new ego#you give him one fight scene and then shove him in a birdcage so your random new villain with no stakes can take over#and look i'm not opposed to chameleon as a villain in concept. but they just don't give her any motive or emotion!#NONE of the new characters have emotion behind them! zhen's whole betrayal-reunion thing just doesn't have any impact#it just feels like a nothing-movie. kung fu panda 3 makes my dad cry every time and kung fu panda 4 is 90 minutes of blank space
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She watches the powder dissolve into the black tea, then stirs in a splash of milk to cut the bitterness. Behind her, her guest is laying her wares out across her kitchen table like a proud child waiting to show off what she's found to a less-than-eager parent. But Hrafna still smiles at her as she takes her seat opposite and sets their cups down with a dull clink. Her own is hot enough that the poisons added are denaturing as they speak, but the milk in her guest's has cooled hers just so.
"So, you see," Afthas says, splaying a hand out across the finely crafted pendants. "The chains are made with the finest gold. I believe I was told the gold was mined far in the west, where it's rarest. It's been a while since I got these — they're so beautiful, I thought, that I was reluctant to sell them on."
"Ah," Hrafna hums, reaching out to lift one of the pendants and hold it to the light. It is beautiful; the chain is fine in her hand and the gem sparkles a beautiful, rich red. "They are quite beautiful, I have to say."
The blonde grins and she reaches for her cup, which she holds between her hands. "I only stock the finest. I'm quite picky, admittedly."
"Well, it is good to be picky, no? It thins out the poor quality."
"I can tell, you have good sense! So — I admit to you, I did come here with the intention of selling. I so appreciate you inviting me in, with that in mind, and of course I understand if you're not interested. They're all ten gold pieces each — which sounds steep, I know, but the gold over in the west... you'd pay twice as much if you went looking in Korval." She leans back in her chair and gestures for Hrafnhildur to pick the pendant up again, which she does. "I'm sure you can feel the quality. But, if silver is more your thing, those are a fair bit cheaper. Gold looks beautiful on you, though. I see your earrings."
Hrafna holds the ruby pendant up to the light again and she inspects it with her cheek lazily supported in one hand. Then, with the pendant still held to the light, she smiles at Afthas.
"This is fake."
"This is poison."
The cup in her hands, with not a sip taken from it, is set back on the table. Afthas tips her chin up slightly and they hold their gaze for a moment, each with a knowing smile.
And then they begin to laugh.
Only once their laughter begins to ebb off again does Afthas lean forwards, elbows folded against the edge of the table, and she tosses her head in the direction of some far door with a mischievous grin. "So. Bedroom?"
Hrafnhildur smirks at her, and she rises to her feet. Afthas eagerly takes her hand and she's led out of the kitchen and further into the house. Hrafna can feel her smiling at the back of her head.
#☀︎ DRABBLES.#☀︎ AFTHAS ; DRABBLE.#☀︎ HRAFNA ; DRABBLE.#the thing about hrafna and afthas is that they're completely devoted to one another yet totally unattached#they're seriously so. they're so. gnaws on my own fist#they fuck nasty fr but they're not exclusive and yet they'd choose one another over anyone and they're. they're so.#they're both morally gray af but from this moment on there's unspoken knowledge they're both completely safe with one another#and what do they do with that knowledge? get drunk and fuck. emotional vulnerability isn't their thing#it could be!! and they'd be safe doing so!! but they simply don't lol#I love them I'm rotting my brain over them
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When Diluc gives his heart to someone and genuinely enters a relationship with them, that's it–that's it for him. There will never be any other that could hope to replace them, whether they leave him or they pass on.
#hc; diluc#//He might have his fair share of little crushes here & there; rarer still a one night stand or two (hasn't rlly done that since Snezhnaya)#//But once he's actually in a proper relationship with someone; and he ONLY will do so after a certain level of trust/bond has been forged#//Bc once that is settled...he's truly ALL theirs. His heart settles on them; no wavering nor hesitation#//Forever; until he would draw his final breath#//Doesnt matter if their breakup was the messiest fucken shit or amicable; if they died in the most heartrending way or at peace in his arm#//He will love & adore them even still; no matter what sorts of emotional turmoil the feelings put him through/he tries to hide them behind#///They will HAUNT him; unless he may have them again or he meets an untimely demise and joins them#//There are some cases where he will try to pursue them again; but those are very few and far in between#//Anywho; guess who watched H.B aGAIN#//And the fact that some owls are monogamous for life is a big inspo too nkjgnygkj#//Bro reads abt his family's special birds and was like BET#//I CAN DO THAT TOO#//Nah; I'm kidding#//He just takes love VERY seriously. Extremely so. He saw his father pining for his mother to the end of his days#//And thought to himself THAT is how much love I want to have for someone. THAT is the level of loyalty and affection I ought to hold#//It would take an extremely special case for him to waver on this fact; for him to be able to move on from that previous person#//It's exactly WHY it takes so much trust and rapport between them for him to decide to let himself fully fall for someone#//Bc he knows he will NOT get over them so easily; they hold his heart so precariously in their hands#//He would never truly move to retaliate on them if they broke his heart though. Bc even hurt; he would NEVER want to hurt them in turn#//But yeah; bro would take it SO hard. Esp if he sees them move on too quickly for his taste#//Would carry on his day by day; but BOY would he be aching inside. BOY would his eyes ligner and follow where they'd go#//BOY OH BOY would their name grace his lips;like a silent prayer for their wellbeing; a helpless wish for them to have never left his side#//Bro would PI N E; and pin HARD. Harder than he did BEFORE they got together#//Worst part is he wouldn't be as cautious in letting them back in as he ought to be. He might act guarded; but those are Cardboard defense#//He may be sterner and more stoic than everyone who knew him growing up saw him as; but he is still the softhearted loving boy he was then
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good evening to everyone except a certain few fucking anons
#go fuck yourselves like seriously what the fuck#im so sick of this#this is about the last two anons by the way. i havent gotten any more because i turned off anon asks#if you wanna know why anon asks are off blame those two assholes#seriously that stupid shits been getting to my head#you know why? because every fucking person around here (especially my mum) LOVES to criticise me and accuse me of victimising myself#literally every fucking thing i do is wrong around here down to my hair#all these fucking adults like to bully me about MY hair#fuck you if i want bangs I'll keep the bangs#literally it seems like they're just doing whatever they can to change me into someone else. someone they want#this fucking culture of mine is so shitty i swear to god#like they think that BULLYING you is people being honest with you#and that if someone's nice to you theyre shittalking you behind your back#(honestly considering some of the people i see i wouldn't be surprised)#and im not even doing anything thats WRONG either. im different and not one of these people can tolerate that#yeah my mum sent me a video of a goat with curly hair and implied she thinks my bangs are like that. in a derogatory manner btw#so yeah that's had me pissed and then the fucking anons were also making me pissed#fuck you I'm gonna be as selfish as i want when i post on MY blog#this blog is MINE#I decide what i write and how much i wanna shittalk someone who upset me to get my feelings out. if anyone wants to call me selfish fuck you#and you know what? fuck That Person too. they geniunely messed me up more than they helped me#yes. im still gonna talk about them. im still gonna complain because FUCK YOU I NEED TO GET IT OUT SOMEHOW OKAY#I NEED THIS SHIT OUT OF ME AND IT GETS BACK INTO MY HEAD SO I NEED IT OUTSIDE#and fuck you anons who gave your unwanted opinion. if you cant say anything nice SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTHS#i was taken advantage of and manipulated#and apparently I'm the bad guy for small mistakes like excuse me#and then that person even told a friend of theirs once to attack me (over text) like what#i just cant anymore it needs to be fucking out#and im not sorry for complaining about this because this is my blog and i will complain on here. this blog is for ME. for MY happiness.#and as such i will fucking complain shit and i will fucking post my vents because thats the only way i can send these emotions off for good
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So...
I changed the home screen of my watch as well...
This is one of the pictures I'll never forget...
🥹🫠💚💙
[Orig. pic cr: @/jusinbellocon on Instagram]
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Bracelets: it's an Italian brand, actually 🤭
The blue one is because blue is my favorite color, and if this bracelet had a name, it would be 'blue means eternity and freedom'
The silver one is actually my con bracelet. One new element for each con visited by me. After Purcon6, JiB12 was my first con outside of Germany. Btw - did you see the 'green heart and the blue dots'? 🤗
#jenmish#cockles#jenmish panel jib11#i will never be over it#i will get over this picture#seriously#what have they done#i'm really emotional#i love them so much#jensen and misha#jensen ackles#misha collins#i love them your honor#don't blame me
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#another vent! don't read if you don't want to! it's long.#so um. my mom and i got in a small fight while out shopping. not anything extraordinary just a regular small dispute and she got#kind of annoyed. and whenever anyone annoys her she *always* says 'it's fine' or 'i'm fine/over it" and it has become noticeable to me#over time. so i told her 'i know you're annoyed with me' and she literally told me 'fine. do you want me to just start telling me that#i'm annoyed with you??' and i was like 'what? yes! why wouldn't i want you to??' but she didn't really answer it. we got into the car#and i said 'sorry i didn't mean to upset you earlier' and of course she was like 'oh it's fine' so i just said to her:#'what i wanted to say was that telling me how i annoyed you and told me what you thought would get us a lot further than just covering your#emotions with a constant 'i'm fine' and not telling me anything.'#and was just like: 'i love you madison but that's not how it works.'#like ????? girl yes it is how it works!! good communication strengthens trust in relationships!! how is this a foreign concept to you??#but something clicked when she said 'look your father hates it when people talk about their feelings or how actions and words#make them feel. if i get used to telling you how you made me feel then i'll start doing it to your father.'#and i just fuckin. sat there. i didn't even say anything for a good minute bc i was so astonished but everything like. made sense.#this house is so full of 'i don't care' 'fuck you/off' 'i'm fine' and so many other harsh words and careless but hostile name-calling—#we don't even know how to tell each other how we feel and think. there's no healthy connection. whenever someone gets emotional by#crying or saying something about how they feel they're called 'soft' 'snowflake' 'sensitive' or sometimes worse names i won't mention#but it's all the same shit. the shaming of being human is revolting but it also shows how dysfunctional this household is. like#it seriously checks every. single. mark. i don't even tell my mom about my problems because all i ever get back is a 'just relax' or#'stop being ridiculous' and there's no sign of comfort or trying to problem-solve anything. it's just 'get over it you'll be fine.'#it made me realize that everyone in this house doesn't know how to properly communicate or work through emotions- thoughts- and conflicts.#myself included. ever since the age of 9 i had such a hard HARD time showing and receiving affection (physical and emotional) from friends#but i didn't know why! it just felt so goddamn foreign! but now it just. now i understand where my deeply rooted#emotional unavailability came from. healthy communication of affection and conflict was never shown to me and all i ever saw from#my parents were fights. lots and lots of fights. i think i thought that's all normal relationships looked like. i thought any affection or#display of healthy communication was fake and a trap of some kind so i just never even chanced a good friendship. i started having healthy#friendships just in late 2020 when i started realizing what in the fuck was going on. i'm more mature than a reserved 9 year old girl now#of course so i'm learning how to be more emotionally available but. i just need a minute. what the fuck.
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Man high school was fucked up. You ever think about that. Thank fucking god I'm not in high school anymore
#Sorry I need to turn a distraction video on or smth because my mind came back to#The very first experience I had of high school#And like my father had just dropped me off right. Yknow. Big massive new place I hadn't been before#And we went into an assembly hall right and my father called me like 5 minutes after#My phone was on silent and I took it out of my pocket for what. 5 seconds to dismiss the call.#Yknow a call from my parent who probably just wanted to make sure I got in okay#And in that 5 seconds a teacher just came over and took the phone off me#And then later on in the assembly the speaker was like 'We have a strict phone policy.'#'You're not allowed to use them outside of break unless explicitly asked' and the fucking.#Teacher who practically snatched my damn phone of me was like#'I have caught 5 students on their phones already. This is unacceptable behaviour in high school and you should already know'#Like. Holy shit I got it out for 5 damn seconds to dismiss a call from a parent who just wanted to make sure I was okay :sob: I was 12 yknow#Just something so. Fucked up about that. That's not a fucking expectation in the real world#Yeah don't be distracted by your phone while doing work in class but it was nothing like that :sob:#I'm willing to bet that most of the people who got their phone confiscated in that assembly were of similar circumstances to me#Yknow. Worried parents who just dropped their 12 year old off to a big unfamiliar place for the first time calling#You could've taught that lesson in the classroom if someone was actually distracted on their phone. Come on now#What Is with some fucking primary school and high school teachers having absolute power trips over actual children#Awful. I was thinking about it because my younger sibling has just gone back school#And their in their last year of primary school and they where telling me about like all the bullshit they're pulling#And I guess I just. Worry a bit. Because high school is genuinely a little bit fucking traumatic#I tell them all the time that most of the rules they set up in primary school and high school are kinda bullshit anyways#And to follow them simply to not get in trouble. But don't let them dictate how you act forever#Because you go through the whole of high school being told what to do by people who usually view you as a lesser being to them#And then you get to college and everything changes and it's gonna be weird as fuck finally being viewed as an equal#...especially if you're like me and engrained rules way too seriously#Sorry this is breaking the no emotional posting after 10pm rule but I think I can stand by this one#Okay I've made 6 begillion grammar errors I'm on mobile I can't change em#To everyone currently in high school: please fucking survive. It get's better. I prommy you#android.txt
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holy shit this is incredibly irrelevant but
tell me why the fuck he reposted a video on tiktok that said ""you would have loved this" I thought" with an Adrianne lenker song. He fucking knows how much I love Adrianne lenker. "Oh yeah I reposted that Adrianne lenker video because I knew you'd see it and like it" - him a few months ago.
So why, why would you repost that. And he unmutualled me on there, and yet I still get notifications when he reposts or likes this I do.
more thoughts on this- the text literally said, "you would have loved this, I thought". and you know what I love, and he knows I love? Adrianne lenker.
"You would have loved this"
#Vent???#maybe??#just me freaking out and having counsellor proclaimed big emotions#yk that quote that goes "it's like having third degree burns all over your body and everytime you touch something it hurts so much worse#Or something like that#that's me#ik that quote came from a statement about bpd I'm not claiming I have it I js relate to that btw#im aware I'm a teen and that's just how's things go sometimes#but GOD#seriously if god is real I hate that bro made me like this#oh also another thing about that quote#yk those thing on tt and it has either sweet or sad text and a pretty picture of nature or a bedroom or some shit behind the text#i made a few of those#one said#“my emotions are like third degree burns and your presence and love are the only salves that soothe them”#me when#yap
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If someone could fucking slap me that'd be great
#hashtag first world probs or whatever i know i know#i keep crying about green day 🙄🙄🙄#this is like 5+ times recently beginning with the announcement of Saviors and the tour#then i cried listening to a track#then i cried because i looked at the tour and saw they were gonna be with one of my partner's fave bands#and then that two stops were less than 6 hours from me and one of those they would be with smashing pumpkins (partner fave but i also like)#now crying because of an additional single dropping before the release day#but I've also cried at least twice i think because i won't be seeing them#I've waited so fucking long for them to go on tour again with new music#there are only a handful (like. maybe 3) bands whose tour i would even think about considering. ya know. pan-fucking-demic.#and I'm ngl. if i could afford to go i would be incredibly tempted and might actually do it (masked and boosted)#I've only seen one live performance in my life afaik (cage the elephant and silversun pickups and some band i hated)#and green day is one of my all time faves and one of about 5 that I've really wanted to see live#i know this is stupid omg i know#it's just that my disappointment is tied up with covid emotions too and how much we were all failed by the push to go back to normal etc etc#i see so many people acting like the pandemic has been over and i want to scream#you think we (people who actually take it seriously) DON'T want to be able to enjoy life again? but we fucking can't#because of government failing and selfish assholes who can't be bothered to mask up and get vaccinated etc#I'm so tired of this
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uh oh
#i love this fic don't get me wrong#but the dysphoria is wildin#which i mean#is good#my empathy is like dogshit low with other people but through the roof when it comes to characters in media. bc i'm removed from the#situation and can freely protect onto them. especially written works bc the emotions are written out in a way i can understand and feel#wowie wowie wow i haven't felt dysphoric at all in over a year so it feels Weird now#i mean#the closest thing I'll ever be doing to medically transitioning is probably some kind of bc so i stop getting periods.#I've considered a partial or total hysterectomy in the past#but i don't intend on getting it unless I'm in a good place financially. it's not a high priority lolol#unless i can go to my gp and say 'hey i want this i'm aware of the procedure and its risks and side effects' and she takes me seriously.#it's too much work + not worth it lol.#but wowie sometimes i think. i wish i passed.#but i don't want to cut my hair.#... maybe i should look into a short wig. a nice quality one#idk#unfortunately i live in a world where feminine men aren't commonplace#and passing and being. well. me. isn't a thing that can exist
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𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑒.
PAIRING: josh washington x fem!reader WARNINGS: teasing, no use of y/n, touching GENRE: fluff SONG INSPIRATION: NIGHTS LIKE THIS by the kid LAROI WORD COUNT: 1k NOTE: ghostface!josh coming soon . . .
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josh always had to be touching you. it was something you noticed early on in your friendship, but it had grown more noticeable over time. a casual brush of his fingers across your waist when he walked by, how his hand would find yours when no one was looking. at first, you didn’t think much of it, it was just josh, always needing someone close.
but now? now it felt like more.
tonight, the group had gathered in the theater room of the washington lodge for what was supposed to be a relaxing evening after a long day of hiking. the lights were dim and you were sprawled out on the large sectional with everyone, blankets thrown over legs, as a movie played on the tv. josh, predictably, had taken his usual place next to you, his thigh pressed against yours under the blanket, his hand resting on your knee like always.
it wasn’t like he was doing anything that anyone else would notice, it was subtle, almost innocent. but you felt it. the warmth of his hand on your leg sent tingles up your spine and it was almost impossible to ignore the way your heart beat just a little faster when he touched you.
"you two are practically glued together," emily teased from across the couch, smirking as she sipped her drink. "it’s cute. you can’t stand to be apart for five seconds?"
josh, unfazed as ever, grinned. “what can i say? i’m a hands-on kind of guy.”
you rolled your eyes, chuckling softly, but the way his fingers squeezed your knee for just a second sent a jolt through you. he wasn’t letting go, not even when everyone else joined in on the teasing.
ashley leaned over the back of the couch, an exaggerated look of pity on her face. "i mean, it’s cute and all, but how do you breathe? he’s always touching you.”
josh shrugged, still looking completely comfortable. “she doesn’t seem to mind.” his voice was playful, but there was an edge of seriousness beneath it.
you glanced over at him, your pulse quickening. no, you didn’t mind. in fact, you had grown to expect it, maybe even craved it. his presence, his touch. it had a calming effect on you, even if it was doing the opposite to your emotions now. your friends had been teasing about this for weeks and you weren’t sure how to explain the connection without sounding ridiculous.
"she knows that i'm just that good at making sure she’s comfortable," josh said with a quick grin. "it’s kinda my thing."
emily laughed. “at this point, i wouldn’t be surprised if you two woke up spooning!”
you felt the blush rising to your cheeks as you shoved josh lightly, but his hand slid down your leg, brushing the inside of your thigh, lingering just a second too long before pulling away. you froze, the sensation sending a wave of warmth through you. he shot you a quick look, eyes twinkling with amusement, but there was something else behind them.
before you could respond, chris called out from the other side of the couch. “what? it’s just a little friendly affection, right?” he winked, clearly teasing.
“yep,” you agreed quickly, your voice coming out more breathless than intended. “totally. just friends.”
josh gave a low hum, leaning back and stretching his arm out along the back of the couch, his fingertips brushing against your shoulder. “if you say so,” he murmured softly, only for you to hear. the weight of his touch felt heavier now, his fingers grazing your skin.
as the movie droned on, your focus drifted away from the screen. your mind was entirely on josh, the way his body was so close to yours, the way his touch lingered. you found yourself leaning into him more without realizing it, like you were drawn to him just as much as he was to you.
the others had mostly gone back to watching the movie, though there were still occasional glances your way, always with that teasing edge but josh didn’t seem to care. his thumb traced slow circles on your shoulder now, his hand occasionally slipping down to brush your arm.
you turned your head slightly, looking up at him. he wasn’t even looking at the movie anymore. his focus was entirely on you.
“josh?” you whispered, keeping your voice low enough that the others wouldn’t hear.
“hmm?” his eyes flicked down to meet yours, his expression soft but with that familiar mischievous glint.
you hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to say what was on your mind. “why do you always…?” you trailed off, not sure how to phrase it without sounding too obvious.
he smiled, a knowing look crossing his face. “always what?”
“always… touch me,” you finished quietly, your pulse quickening at the vulnerability in your own words.
josh’s smile didn’t fade, but his gaze grew a little more serious. he leaned in, his voice dropping to a whisper as his hand moved from your shoulder to your cheek, cupping it gently. “it’s… comforting. you’re comforting.”
you stared at him, heart racing as the weight of his words sank in. there was more to it, you could feel it, more than just the comfort of touch. there was something between you that had always been there, quietly lingering beneath the surface.
“you don’t mind, do you?” his thumb brushed against your cheek now, the gentle motion sending a warmth through you that had nothing to do with the blankets.
you swallowed hard, your breath catching in your throat. “no,” you whispered. “i don’t mind.”
josh’s gaze flickered down to your lips for a second before returning to your eyes. there was a moment of hesitation, but then he leaned in just a little closer. “good,” he murmured, his voice barely audible.
“because i don’t think i could stop even if i tried.”
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