#i'm really proud of this even if i'm the only one who thinks so

[silversurfersx]

media duties | f1grid pt.2

part 1

f1 grid x driver!reader [smau] - part 2

summary: the reader does anything to escape her media duties

faceclaim: Jamie chadwick and random peopke I found on ointerest

warnings: swearing, theoretical violence

liked by georgerussel63, landonorris, maxverstappen1 and others

yourusername: got a visitor in the paddock today😊 he had the cooler car 😔

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user: is alex ok?

user: what happened in slide 3???

alex_albon: why did you post this?

yourusername: bc auggie is adorable alex_albon: obviously, but that's not what I meant yourusername: oh you mean me hitting you with my car... yeah, that's meant as a threat for everyone alex_albon: what for? yourusername: leading Netflix to my secret hideout alex_albon: you were hiding in the Haas hospitality with Auggie and the Haas kids yourusername: yeah I couldn't understand a word those two said

user: ah yes...

user: is it weird that I'm jealous of auggie's car?

user: no, cause same

___

Auggie cruised in his Spiderman toy car in front of you through the paddock. In high pitched squeaks he imitated motor noises.

Chuckling at the small boy, you followed along grabbing your phone from your pocket when you felt a ping. Looking down you saw Alex's message about Netflix wanting to film a segment once again.

'I can't, I gotta take care of auggie, sorry'

You texted back, looking for another excuse, as you knew that taking care of Auggie wasn't the best excuse, as there were enough people at Williams who could look after your nephew for an hour. They did when you raced as well.

Your eyes moved over the paddock, stopping on Nico Hulkenberg kneeling alongside his daughter, who was Auggie's age.

"Auggie, what do you think about making a new friend?"

The blonde boy turned back, quickly hitting the brakes of his toy car. "A new friend?"

"Yeah, you see that girl over there?" You nodded at the small girl, whose name you never really learned. "She looks nice, doesn't she?"

"Yes! Do you think she wants to be my friend?" The boy asked eyes wide in question. You shrugged. "Maybe we could go and ask."

"Yes!"

___

___

"Y/N what are your plans for next year?" The media person asked rising to their feat in the crowd of reporters during the press conference.

Slowly you lifted the microphone up to your lips. "I don't know."

"You were seen in the Haas hospitality earlier today. Was it contract related or did you hide from someone again?" They asked which was followed by chuckles from everyone in the room.

Smiling you answered. "I was hiding."

Again chuckles erupted.

"Did you get caught?" Max interrupted from next to you on the couch. Laughing you nodded. "Yeah, Alex told on me."

"Ah, you shouldn't have told him." Max reprimanded you.

"Yeah, I know." You nodded. "But I hit him with my car, so now we're even." You argumented, ignoring the wide eyes from the media. Yuki grinned from beside Max, who couldn't hide his own amusement.

"That seems alright then." Max replied.

"If i may interrupt and go back to my initial question." The reporter interrupted. "Y/N, what are your plans for next year, do you have a new contract in sight?"

"Not really." You shrugged. It was a lie, but it wasn't any of their business, yet and you didn't even know if t would work out.

___

liked by sebastianvettel, francolapinto, williamsracing and others

yourusername: a great honour to be able to join seb and his crew!❤

It was an absolute honour meeting you, seb and all the people who worked this project. I am proud to have been part of this!!!🇧🇷🤩🥰

SennaForver 🇧🇷🇧🇷

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user: absolutely beautiful what you did

user: we love seb!

user: senna forever!!!

sebastianvettel: it was an honour to have you join us as well❤ [liked by yoursusername]

alex_albon: so this is where you went?

___

___

It was only logical that a day would come, where you were actually late for media duties, though no one believed you. Your constant lying about your whereabouts during media duties finally got to you.

"Where did you hide out this time?" Alex greeted you when you ran on stage for the fan event. "I didn't, I swear, I fell asleep and forgot to set an alarm."

Alex looked at you suspiciously, not quite believing you. "Was it Max?"

"No, I swear, I slept in." You tried to reassure. Looking out at the crowd you tried to convince them. "Sorry guys, but I swear I did sleep."

Laughs filled the crowd at you attempts of convincing.

"Was that a 'we believe you'- laugh?" You asked receiving once again a similar laugh. Leaning back to look at the Alpine boys who were with you. "Are they laughing at me or with me?"

"I think at you." Pierre teased and Esteban joined. "I would too."

"At least I know I'm funny." You replied, grinning.

Alex leaned towards you, putting the microphone away from his mouth. "Did you actually sleep in?"

"Yes, I swear." You replied.

___

___

liked by landonorris, alexalbon, maxverstappen1 and others

yourusername: I swear guys i played too much sims and fell asleep... also I got a special helmet ⛑️

view comments

user: she's out here fighting for her life, haha

user: happens to the best of us

user: damn, she's fighting harder than when she's escaping Netflix

landonorris: did u feed me?

yourusername: i let you drown in the pool, lol landonorris: what 🙂 yourusername: oscar was really sad oscarpiastri: nah landonorris: 🥲 yourusername: that's rough

alexalbon: but did you?

yourusername: 🤡

user: sick helmet ⛑️

user: are we all just gonna ignore lando?

yourusername: ignoring him is always the safest option 👍

___

Drive to Survive interview:

"Hello, my name is Y/N Y/LN and I am racing for Williams Racing." You closed the clap with a tight smile, the bright lights surrounding you blinded you.

"Okay, great, it's good to finally catch you." The reporter announced making you unwillingly smile. "Yeah, you guys are very adamant, just wouldn't give up."

"We promise to keep it short for you." The woman laughed.

"Grand."

"Where did you hide this time?" The question continued.

"At Aston."

"Is it nice there?" The woman said as the interview continued.

"It's very green."

"Oh, I bet. How are you finding this season as it is slowly ending? What are your plans for next season, there are only a handful of seats left?" The interviewer pressed as you shifted in your seat knowing what she was out for. Carlos took your Williams seat for next year, so the question arises, 'what should you do?'.

Obviously you were in talks with a few people, looking over the open seats and even at spots in other categories like wec.

"It's been crazy, but I know what I'm doing."

"So you got a plan?" The woman asked curiously. "Is it for vcarb? They've been looking at you, I've heard."

You shrugged pursing your lips . "RedBull sugar free? Who knows."

"You're really not giving us anything, aren't you?" She interviewer chuckled and you smiled cockily.

"Nope." You looked over the camera personal, as the interviewer searched her notes. "Are we finished? Do you just cut to some dramatic scenes of me now?"

The lady shook her head chuckling. "Not quite, sorry."

Internally sighing in disappointment you nodded.

"Alright."

___

[CAPTION] thank you Charles (my secret santa) for the invisability cloak, now I can hide even better☺️🧙‍♀️

charles_leclerc: you are welcome ☺️🥰 yourusername: 😘

[cjlouwho]

Twelve Christmases

Chapter tags: Michael returns, implied homophobia

read below or on ao3

Day 8: 2017

Tommy hadn't stepped foot in his hometown in fifteen years.

And when he did return home, he hadn't planned on saying much.

He planned on sitting back and watching his father be a disaster with his new family.

A stepmother of eight years that he'd never met.

A stepsister and two stepbrothers he couldn't tell you the names of.

Step nieces and nephews and cousins. Tons of people for his dad to embarrass himself in front of on Christmas day.

What he didn't expect was for them to all be so damn happy.

His stepmom, Tina, laughing and giggling with Michael by her side.

His step siblings giving him a hug.

The kids all running to him, calling him grandpa.

Not a bottle of beer in sight.

It filled Tommy with a rage he hadn't felt in years.

And it caused him to blurt out the one thing he'd only just been able to admit to himself a few months earlier.

“I'm gay.”

The room fell silent, everyone gathered at the table for Christmas dinner. All eyes were on Tommy as he stared down his dad as though he were daring him to react.

The seconds ticking by felt like hours.

“Hm,” Michael finally breathed out. He picked his fork up, motioning around the table. “Come on now, let's eat, food's gettin' cold.”

The silence faded away with the sounds of utensils clanging on dishes, and whispered conversations picking up between guests.

Tommy continued to watch his dad, who was smiling over at Tina as they spoke to one another.

“Hey, congrats,” one of Tommy's stepbrothers (Sam, he thinks), leaned over and said to him.

“Are you congratulating me for being gay?” Tommy deadpanned.

“No, just for like, coming out or whatever. I know- or, well, I've heard- that it's like, ya know, tough and stuff.”

Tommy had to fight back every retort that was popping into his brain. “Yeah,” he agreed. “It's real tough and stuff.”

Then Sam (or is it Jim? Henry? Steve?) reached out and patted his shoulder. “Proud of you, Bro.”

Tommy wished his eyes were laser beams that he could use to shoot directly at the hand Sam-Jim-Henry-Steve touched him with.

Instead, he plastered on a smile. “Thanks.”

*****

They didn't get another chance to speak until everyone else had left. Tina went to get a shower and Tommy found himself in the living room with his dad.

“So?” he started, not bothering to sit. “What have you been holding in?”

Michael, who had been focused on the TV, muted it before turning to look over at Tommy. “What the hell were you thinking?”

“There it is.”

“You don't come around for fifteen damn years and when you finally do, you act like an ass all day long. We sit down for a nice dinner and you say something like that?” he shook his head. “I don't even know what to think of you.”

“I wasn't acting like an ass all day,” Tommy defended. “I've been so unbelievably confused by whatever game you've been playing! Who the hell even are you?”

“I don't know what you're talking about.”

“I have never, not once, seen you sober on Christmas. Hell, I never really saw you on Christmas at all. When I did, it was a nightmare! You certainly weren't picking me up and spinning me around like you did those kids today. It's all some weird ass show you're putting on.”

“Hey!” Michael stood, standing face to face with his son. “It is not a show. I love that woman and all the people that come with her!”

“So that's what this is? You just never loved mom? Or me?”

“Your mom was weak, Tommy! She didn't know what I needed.”

“No, that was the problem!” Tommy yelled, poking at Michael's chest, “She was only ever here for what you needed!”

Michael smacked Tommy's hand away. “We're not talking about this right now. We're gonna talk about that- that lie you told at dinner just to try and upset me.”

Tommy stood up straight, his heart pounding. “It's not a lie. I'm gay.”

“No, you're not.”

“I think I'd know a little better than you.”

“I will not...” Michael's voice trailed off as he breathed heavily through his nose. Tommy was pretty sure fire would be coming out if that were possible.

“What?” Tommy taunted. “You will not what?”

“I want you out of my house,” Michael said, teeth gritted together. “I don't need you around my family.”

Tommy huffed out a laugh. “Around your family? What am I then, Dad?”

“An embarrassment!” Michael screamed, no hesitation.

Tommy pursed his lips, nodding. “Now that's the dad I know,” he said, his voice wavering slightly. “I'll get my stuff, leave tonight.”

As he left the living room and headed down the hall, he stopped when he saw Tina standing in the doorway of the main bedroom. It was just like his mom used to do all those years ago.

“Tommy,” she said, her voice quiet, sad. “You don't have to go tonight. You can stay.”

Tommy shook his head. “No, I'm not gonna stay. Thank you though.”

He continued toward his childhood bedroom to grab his things. He'd never really unpacked anyway.

“I didn't know,” she said, stopping him again. He turned back to her. “I've never heard him like that before.”

He smiled at her sadly. “It's okay,” he assured her. “I have.”

[syndrossi]

Au question

Who’s your favourite character ( favourite to write favourite to think about one you vibe with the most in) in each au? Their can have overlap if you you have multiple favourite

Regnal

Gotta be Baelon! He's so proud, and also so soft. He has a uniquely flowery kind of speech and inner voice that I enjoy writing, where he can be just a tad melodramatic, but in a sweet way? Like, I can weirdly see a lot of Rhaegar in him, even though Rhaegar gets all of the Aemon comparisons. I do really love to write Jaehaerys though, because he's so prideful (which I view as different to proud; Baelon tends to be proud of the people he loves, whereas Jaehaerys has pride in himself, what he has built, in his house). Like, if you think Daemon is prideful, he's nothing compared to Jaehaerys. We're talking a man who couldn't stand the stain on his family's honor (his pride) when Saera had her lovers scandal.

Reverberate

Daemon 100%. His joy at this second chance, and getting to enjoy every moment with his babies. His fear that something could happen to them. His protective fury when Volantis comes calling. His grappling with how he feels about Rhea in a world where he remembers what she did in his original timeline, while getting to know her as an actual person with fears and doubts and guilt here.

Restoration

Ooh, this is tough because it's so early on. My favorite POV to write so far, which may surprise people, was actually Bran's? It was my first time writing an actual eight-year-old's POV, and I really studied his early POVs in the books carefully, trying to capture his voice and inner thoughts and I was very pleased with how it turned out. His POV was the most "GRRM" I tried to be voice-wise, probably.

Ned making sense of things has maybe been the most fun to write. Big Jon is the hardest to write, because of the density/complexity of the emotions he's going through.

I know for a fact, however, that Cersei will be my absolute favorite to write. I AWAIT THE DAY.

And I love thinking about Daemon, and him wreaking absolute chaos on his eventual path to Essos and finding Dany. (Daemon basically adopting Dany on the spot will be a joy to write. Looks like his baby Rhaegar, definitely his somehow.)

Knight of Stars

Feels a bit early to be choosing someone here. Right now it's a toss-up between Arryk and Arthur. "Outsider" POVs are fun to write.

Aemon's Sons

Okay, fine, I've only written a tiny oneshot for this so far, but I'm gonna have a hard time picking between Aemon and Baelon (and looking forward to writing Alyssa and Jocelyn too!). Big sis Rhaenys too?? Too excited. Also more in-his-prime Jaehaerys to contend with, spicy.

The rest

I haven't written enough Reversal and Rescue is too tightly focused to really name a character for those!

[splonk-fox]

Ya know, with the hindsight I have now, I think I know why I grew so attached to The Chosen One's character, and that's primarily because he basically falls into none of the cliches that Alan's other villains do.

Alan seems to have a problem when it comes to writing compelling antagonists. With The Dark Lord he was incredibly flat and essentially served as little more than a plot device that is only interesting because of how fans have interpretated his character.

With King Orange and Victim, both of their motives boil down to "someone died, now I'm mad"

Purple sort of breaks this, as his motive is more tied to wanting his father to be proud of him, his mother being dead just so happening to be a part of that.

With Chosen though? None of that is really present. He didn't experience some horrible tragedy that lead to him going off the deep end. He started off that way and carved a slow path to redemption from there. Sure I guess you could argue a big push for his redemption was the Dark Lord's actions, but that kind of makes him an inverse of the typical norm. Normally it's the negative influence that leads to the bad guy becoming bad, but in Chosen's case, it's Dark's negative influence that allows him to turn around for the better.

It feels a lot more grounded and realistic. Chosen's redemption doesn't happen instantly, he doesn't turn on Dark immediately, even now his actions still haunt him. To have a character who's depth doesn't rely on one of their loved ones dying as a plot device is incredibly refreshing, and it makes me wish we got to see more of that.

TLDR; Chosen still has one of the best character arcs in the entire Animator vs. Animation series despite him being one of the first to have one.

[silentstaresfanficandfanart]

a reminder to all translators: YOU ARE AN ARTIST!

Translation work *is* art, and it's truly incredible what you do and you touch so many more lives than you realize- and often, those who's lives you touch with your translation work never realize just how much thanks they owe you, but from the bottom of my heart I want you all to know how grateful I am for all people in fandom and outside of it who translate things, those who do it professionally, those who do it for fun, what you do cannot be replaced by a machine, yes maybe it can give a literal translation but it cant really offer any of the human experience or creative choices that actual translators put into things! TO ALL MY BELOVED ANIME AND MANGA LOVING FANS ESPECIALLY i want to remind you to show some love to translators who make it possible for us to enjoy our favorite shows, as well as a special thanks to those who make fan translations of anime openings or things that never recieved an english translation! Pokemon fans you guys should get this especially, remember those guide books that answered so many questions we've had in the west that only got translated thanks to fan efforts and translators who were paid to translate some of the earliest guide books? Naruto fans! If you dont know, but you might, theres also a naruto radio show that theres translations for online that we ONLY have acess to because of fans efforts!

Don't get me started on all the people who make translations and EVEN SING THEM! remember how amazing some of those anime song translations and make them *actually singable?* Don't forget that doing that is a very creative act too! and people who translate fan comics!!!! or fanfictions!!!! please! appreciate them! It takes so much skill to translate the experiences of one culture into another, to make it understandable and meaningful across cultural and language barriers and to make it sound good on top of it all.

Tonight I cried reading an old translation of harmonia, one of my favorite naruto endings, it's 15 years old now, and i used to listen to it and sing it (with the help of that translation) with one of my little sisters, and its one of the only happy memories I have from that time in my childhood.

and so many other magnificent translators filled my childhood with wonder and joy, giving me the meanings of songs that changed my view of the world and helped me cope with hardship, and grow into a person i'm very proud of being.

Thank you, you'll never know just how many lives and hearts you touch. You are loved, you are appreciated, and anyone who thinks your art form can be replaced by a machine doesn't understand language well enough or culture well enough to know just how difficult it really is to capture the essence of someone elses art and I think in many ways, translation is a field where that which we call the soul of an art piece is most tangible, and can be most clearly seen, as it takes human experience and conscious choices based on an actual understanding of the real world and life itself to express that which is human in art. thank you, so so much for all you do.

i could go on for hours, but this is all to say, thank you

and if you THINK you can be replaced by machine translation please just go through an ensemble stars fan comic through google translate its utterly incomprehensible-

[faffreux]

Woody and Buzz are standing on Andy's night stand, having a heated discussion

Woody: Buzz, we have to talk to them about their noise level. We might get caught!

Buzz: We aren't going to get caught, Woody. We make noise all the time and we never get caught.

Woody: But Buzz, they are so loud! The kissing noises are driving me insane.

Buzz: So this isn't about the noise level. It's about how you don't like to hear it.

Woody: Okay-yes I don't want to hear it! Ever since those custom made plushies came in, they only ever been in love and making out!

Buzz: I think it's sweet. I'm also proud of Andy ordering custom made toys like that.

Woody: They aren't even well known though! One is from a RPG series for Mario & Luigi, and the other isn't part of the series at all! I can't understand why he would do that.

Buzz: Woody, you have to calm down buddy. We are proud of Andy branching out and wanting to be part of certain fandoms. Jolliful seems really wholesome, and they genuinely love each other. I'm all for it. If they express their love by kissing, that's fine. Just tune it out like everyone else does.

Woody: I CAN'T BUZZ!!!

Buzz: Don't be jealous Woody.

WHO.... WHO WROTE THIS ??? HELP ??? i'm laughing so hard

[igglemouse]

The symptoms are hitting hard this morning as you can see and it is very difficult to make it to the restroom when you have to walk as slowly as possible. I worry for a moment that I might not make it but don't worry I get there just in time.

But my morning is the usual, changing diapers and keeping her squeaky clean. Which isn't easy since it sometimes feels like she does whatever she can to avoid being clean. At least this morning she waited until six a.m. to cry for attention!

Pascal's morning is also the usual, for him at least. Beating up that poor treadmill again. This man is really dedicated to his fitness and it's so admirable that I'm happy to let him be in the mornings.

So I feel like the sooner I bring it up, the better. It makes little sense holding it back from him since he'll figure it out eventually. I expect he'll be happy just based on the last time we talked about children, so there isn't any pressure about it this time. I think I'll just bring it up over breakfast actually. Yeah, that is the plan!

So that's exactly what happens. We finish an apple salad and before Pascal can get up and likely go train or work out again I keep him at the table with a simple sentence. "Looks like Flora will be having a little brother or sister."

It takes him a few seconds to either parse what I mean OR come to grips with it. "You're pregnant?" I give my head a little nod and watch as a smile spreads across his face. "Wow!"

"Would it be biased if I hope it is a boy?" He says and I quickly shake my head.

"Nope! I'd be happy with a boy too, keep things even, I guess," and maybe would get him more involved? Although, I will say, he has stepped up a little. Not a lot but...a little is better than nothing.

While I'll soon be a mother of two I am also still very much a Simtube content creator and I must make sure that to keep the momentum going for my channel and so it's time to record a new video.

This one will teach anyone how to make quick and chewy blueberry bagels. A nice desert to go along with a main dish to be sure and I think easy enough for anyone to bake! I will admit that my baking skills are not the best buuuuuuuuuut I think I am proud of the end result!

Thankfully Flora slept right through the recording of my video but you know right after it I had to go and check on her and play with her and give her a little tummy time. I think she does pretty well although she definitely throws a tantrum in the middle of it.

But if you recall I had planned on inviting both Sara and Marjorie over to meet Flora and well...because of previous events I'd like to move past it is only Sara who comes.

She does arrive with a bit of a frown on her face and I'm sure I'll find out why she's in such a sour mood but first to invite her inside and more importantly, introduce her to Flora!

And so I have to go and pull Flora from her crib and bring her to Sara who lights up at the sight of her. Whatever frown she had on her face instantly melts away and she can't wait to hold her.

"Florencia is her full name," I say to Sara as she coos and snuggles Flora who is being very well behaved right now! "She seems to only be fussy with me!"

"Well of course because she knows you'll listen to every little demand she has!"

"Having the strong urge to have your own yet?" I joke but I can tell saying that hit the wrong nerve. "Sara, I didn't mean-"

"No, it's fine, I want to but...can we talk about it a little later?"

"Of course!"

It was then that Flora decided she had enough of introductions and started to cry.

"Ok ok Flora, we get it, we get it!," I say taking her back and letting Sara know she's free to hang around but I have to get her to sleep.

Sara was exploring the house a bit since its actually her first time here and in the end I find her seated right before my tempting blueberry bagels. I'm guessing she would have taken one but she looks like she has a lot on her mind right now. "This place is...really nice," she says, at least in a much better mood than when she arrived.

"Isn't it? Still very empty but we'll fill it day by day, I hope."

"It's a lot of space to fill but it's also not too much, if that makes sense?" She is right. It's not exactly a mansion but it's big enough to be impressive.

"So..." I start, curious about what has Sara all sour right now. "Is everything okay?"

"It's the guy, you know the one I'm dating?" she reveals but all I can do is nod my head because I actually do not know the guy she's dating. She has kept his identity as vague as possible, not on purpose, I think, but he remains a mystery to me all the same. "He's umm, well, let's just say his occupation isn't clean."

"Clean?" I urge, needing a bit more.

"He works for the cartel...I think."

"Oh," well, that's no good. You all know i have an extensive relationship with the cartel but Sara does not know that. All she knows is that I'm an immigrant. "Sara, who exactly are you-"

"Well, that's not the problem," she says, as if there could be something bigger than that. "He apparently has a bit of a promotion on the table and thinks he should take it."

"A promotion in that world usually means more simoleons and more of a chance of also getting killed," I tell her honestly. "Sara, who is this guy?"

"My boyfriend?" she says, which is obvious. I know that but how do I get more information out of her about him?

"Sara, I've known a few cartel guys from...well, they basically ran the town I came from. Maybe I know about him and can better prepare you for-?"

"Simón," she says and at that moment my heart drops.

There is only one Simón that I know and I do not think there could be another especially tied to the cartel. Maybe there is, it's not that uncommon of a name after all, but before I can ask for his last name she's moved on, perhaps sensing that I wasn't into the conversation so somehow she's talking about Flora again.

"She really is adorable isn't she? You know it was dangerous coming over here I might get the fever myself!"

"O-oh uh yeah, yeah," I say, regaining my balance. She's very possibly dating Simón, my Simón. "Oh umm, by the way, I'm pregnant again," I announce for whatever reason. Perhaps because I was not sure what else to say or do in the moment.

Well, that will certainly be awkward if she introduces me to him. I would tell her that I know him but I'm only 90% sure that she's talking about the same guy...maybe, hopefully, she is not.

Frida Varela - Next Episode 10.4

[fenharelsfang]

The Wolf's Heart (3/5)

Previously: The Wolf's Heart (2/5)

Warning: This chapter touches on themes of rape, abuse, and death. Read at your own risk.

Solas

I’ve failed … again.

Time slowed to a crawl around him. The last of Ellana’s beautiful visage faded from his view as she plummeted to her death. He lay on the ground, his chin throbbing in time with his stuttering heartbeat. 

She was gone, slipped right through his fingers.

Memories that had been forced into the darkest recesses of his mind came forth, unbidden. Mythal, lying dead on the ground before him. His oldest friend. In the thousands of years they had known each other, she was his constant companion. He revered her, gave up the Fade for her, sacrificed his morals for her, enacted vengeance in her name. For so long that’s what he thought love meant, to give all of yourself to someone without expecting anything in return. To lap eagerly at the little scraps of affection dangled over your head because all you could ever have. It was all you could ever deserve. Love was greedy. Love was cruel. It was a tool, a means to an end and it was all he knew.

Then he met Ellana and she showed him a different kind of love. Affection wasn't a rarity, it was the norm. Love wasn't a callous transaction. He was never required to cut himself to pieces to please her. She treated him with kindness and tenderness as if the abuses of his past were bruises on his skin. She actively sought him out to listen to his stories, if only to hear the sound of his voice. When he isolated himself to suffer in silence, she reached out a hand to let him know he wasn’t alone. She asked for his wisdom on matters both big and small. He found a missing part of himself in her, the spirit that was almost forgotten. Cracks developed in the walls around his heart. 

He lived for her smile and it came so easily to her face in his presence. He didn't have to fight for it. She kissed away the doubts and insecurities plaguing him. Her touch healed the broken pieces of his soul. But he would never allow himself to take more from her than he was willing to give himself and he would not lie with her under false pretenses. 

When he refused to take her, he was afraid of punishment. Instead, she reacted with patience and understanding.

“I just want to be with you,” she said with a smile before resting her head on his chest. “No matter what form that takes.” 

That warmth was something he had never known before. It was certainly undeserved. She loved him and he loved her. Despite wanting to break the cycle, however, he ended up inadvertently taking everything from her: her heritage, her arm, her happiness.

Now her life.

“No, no, no, no,” he cried, crawling forward on his stomach to peer through a crack in the floor. At this angle, he couldn’t see her.

Solas pushed himself to his knees and clutched at his chest. His breathing was ragged, erratic, agony in his lungs. His heartbeat was deafening in his ears. Ellana was gone and with her went any hope of a different path he could take. 

When Mythal died, the elven empire burned in retribution. And now?

A cry of despair uttered from the depths of his soul and ripped through his throat. The palace quaked beneath him. His magic, so entwined with his emotions, flared out in response to his anguish. It swirled around him like a tornado, growing wider with each passing moment. Elgar’nan tried to breach it, to run his sword through Solas’s gut, but the force of his magic flattened the tyrant against the wall. The archdemon screeched and tried to cover its ears to silence the noise. 

So immense was Solas’s pain that his physical form struggled to contain it. It was a living thing, hammering against his body until cracks formed. They glowed with a blinding white light, as did his eyes. Tears cascaded down his cheeks. The Veil sundered in response to his agony, ripping open a hole in the sky. Demons surged forth, drawn to Solas like stars caught in a black hole. They plunged into his body through his open mouth, filling him up and spilling out through the cracks. Still more wrapped around him, fusing together until they warped him into an amorphous abomination. Its mass blocked out the only sliver of sunlight in the sky, casting the city in an impenetrable darkness and when it spoke, it was a thousand voices speaking at once.

“It is clear to us now that this world is beyond saving. Prepare to face oblivion for your transgressions."

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Ellana

I have regrets.

Wind rushes past me as I fall. My blood is a crimson streak trailing behind me. Minrathous rises on either side. To my left is the Blight stalk anchoring the Archon’s palace to the ground below. Rook and his team are near the top. He looks my way and I can see his hardened resolve. I've failed, but he won't.

Suddenly, I’m standing in a clearing, staring down at the charred remains of my parents as the Brecilian Forest burns around me. Columns of smoke and ash blot out the sun. Flames still flicker in the palms of my hands.

‘It wasn't your fault!’ a voice in my head screams. It's not mine. It belongs to a young man and it feels so familiar somehow.

Wasn’t it my fault?

The scene shifts, traveling back in time to when the sky was blue and the lea was filled with life. Two little elves, sisters, laugh as they chase each other through the tall grass. They gather flowers that they weave into crowns and place on each other’s heads. The older sister ventures farther than her parents told her to. The younger sister frets about breaking the rules, but the older sister assures her everything is safe. 

Then the humans come. The little sister disappears into the safety of the forest. The older one is surrounded. Her parents rush to her rescue and cover her escape.

‘Run,’ says her mother. ‘Run and don’t look back.’

She doesn’t listen. She runs, but looks to see if her parents are behind her. They lie on the ground with arrows in their chests. The world explodes.

‘You were just a child. You couldn’t have known the humans were there. Your parents were already dead. The fire didn’t kill them.’

Little fists beat against her chest. ‘Mamae and Papae are gone! They’re gone because you didn’t listen!’

‘She was too young to understand. It wasn’t your fault.’

-------------------------------------------------------

The real world comes into focus again. I feel the water of the harbor curl around me like a blanket. This is to be my grave. It's quiet here. The water churns above me, painted red with the eclipse's light. It reminds me of the aftermath of a shark feeding frenzy. 

There's a bright light in the sky above me, blinding in its intensity.

I blink and suddenly I’m waking in my bed. A blanket of halla wool is draped over my naked body. I'm in my aravel. There's art on the walls. Herbs hang from the ceiling. Trinkets from my clan's travels are spread across the dresser. I’m warm, happy, and satisfied. Something has irrevocably changed within me. 

I roll over to see the other side of the bed empty. After dressing, I step outside into the early morning light and make my way to the center of camp where he stands with the other apprentice hunters. He is handsome with short black hair and blue eyes, all muscle and a smile that can make any woman swoon.

I wrap my arms around his waist in greeting and he jumps away from me.

‘What’s wrong?’ I ask. He couldn’t touch me enough last night.

‘What do you think you’re doing?’ he asks. The other hunters snicker and sneer behind him. My cheeks warm in embarrassment.

‘I just wanted to say good morning, vhenan.’

‘Vhenan? What makes you think that’s what I am?’

‘Because we– I thought you loved me.’

He tosses back his head and laughs. ‘Love you? The clan freak?’

‘But you said–’

‘I lied. We made a bet on how fast I could get you into bed, that’s all. It was easy. All I had to do was smile at you, pretend to be interested, and tell you I loved you and you were willing to bend over backwards for me.’ He waggles his eyebrows at his friends.

The other hunters snort. Some of the girls walk by and whisper to each other, staring at me with contempt and disgust. Now I’m filled with shame and my heart is broken.

I will never be the same.

‘You didn’t deserve what he did to you. He didn’t deserve your kindness.’

Who are you? Why am I seeing all of this?

‘His pain is seeping into you.’

-----------------------------------------------------------

I'm in Wycome, standing before my grandmother. My face is bare, my left hand replaced by a gauntlet made of iron bark. 

‘Keeper, please,’ I beg. ‘I speak the truth. Our histories are wrong. Our gods are undeserving of our worship. They enslaved us!’

‘Silence!’ she shouts at me in response. ‘You come here, bare-faced, speaking blasphemy! Tell me, did that shemlen Chantry convert you, Herald of Andraste?’

‘No! That's not it at all. I met Fen'harel. The legends are wrong about him. He freed us from the Evanuris!’

‘He destroyed us! Our gods are lost to us because of him! He is a deceiver! A snake! If you truly crossed his path and allowed him to remove everything that makes you Dalish, then you have betrayed your people.’

‘I love my people! Solas loves our people!’

‘Solas?’

‘That's his true name. He was a part of the Inquisition. He helped us save Thedas. He's a hero.’

Keeper Deshanna understood, then. She could see it as plain as day on my face. I loved him.

‘Did you not learn your lesson the first time, Da'len?’

I'm stunned into silence. Everyone’s eyes are on me. 

‘He loves me,’ I whisper in protest.

‘Leave,’ my grandmother orders. ‘You are no longer a part of Clan Lavellan. Return to your trickster Dread Wolf. I expected better of you.’

But there was no one to return to. I didn't tell her he was gone, that I came of my own accord. Now I'm alone.

Some time later I sit by the pond in Crestwood where I learned the truth. I bring out the knife and cut away my hair. It billows into the wind and sinks in the water.

I am no one.

‘Your Keeper was wrong to banish you. You sacrificed so much to keep them safe. Your love for them burns brightly within you.’

There's the silhouette of a person in the light now, swimming towards me. It's a man, no, an elf. Dark hair. Violet eyes. Tattoos of tree branches framing his face. Then darkness blots out the sky and I succumb to its embrace.

-------------------------------------------------------------

I stand in front of a throne made from a dragon’s skull. Many have stood before it in anticipation of judgment, all passed by … me.

Did I make the right choices?

‘You did your best with what you had. You gave hope to so many, Inquisitor: the mages who stood as equals instead of prisoners, Empress Celene and Briala who were reminded of the value and power of their love, and the Grey Wardens who were given a chance at fulfilling their purpose to save the world again. Your capacity for forgiveness softened the edges of the world's suffering.

You were the single ray of light in a very dark night for those who knew you. You encouraged Cullen to let go of the lyrium and regrets that caged him. You urged Dorian to mend his broken relationship with his father, to feel seen and accepted. You helped the Iron Bull break free of his chains of duty and find a family instead. You gave Blackwall the chance at redemption. You reminded Leliana that compassion is not a weakness. You renewed Cassandra’s faith. And you reminded me of who I really am.’

Wait, Cole?

‘Yes! I came to help. You are Hope, Inquisitor, the last bastion of your kind … and you are desperately needed. Only you can save him.’

Save who?

Solas! The world is drowning in his despair and if you don’t reach him, darkness will consume everything.

Only I could save him? No, how could I hope to do that? I already failed to save him twice now. There's really only one person who can and I will never measure up to her. My grandmother was right: I'm a fool. I can't reach him, Cole. His heart belongs to Mythal. All of this he did for her. His grief is for her.

‘You're wrong. He didn't want to do this. He never wanted any of this to happen. She carved him into a weapon of war and then she died, leaving him with their mess to clean up alone. You were the first thing he ever chose for himself. Can you hear his heart? It's crying out for yours, not hers. You were his light, his hope for a better future. He knew true happiness because of you. Do not lose yourself to despair, Hope.’

His face flashes across my mind, all sharp angles and lupine features. Steel gray eyes that danced like firelight when they met mine. Full lips curving into a crooked grin reserved only for me. A scar over his right brow the only imperfection, but even that was beautiful. He is my vhenan and I am his. I will be better than Mythal. I will never forsake him.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Ellana bolted upright before bending over and expelling water and blood from her lungs. Painful coughs wracked her body as she fought to breathe in fresh air. She was drenched and shivering. Someone had draped a blanket over her that she immediately gripped tighter around her body. A hand patted and rubbed her back as she cleared her lungs from the last remaining fluid.

“That’s it, lethallan, get it all out.”

More of the world came into focus. She was sitting on a beach with only the light of the campfire nearby and the glow of lanterns in the city to see by. All natural light was gone. There was only darkness. The ground trembled violently like an earthquake that wouldn't stop. Minrathous was collapsing in the distance, buildings falling into the harbor.

“What's happening?” she asked. 

“Oh, you know, the Dread Wolf is just throwing a tantrum,” the elf beside her answered. 

She snapped her head to look at him, noticing his dark locks dripping water. She recognized his violet-colored eyes and Mythal's vallaslin. 

“You were in the water,” she said, bewildered. 

“As were you, lethallan.”

“And you … saved me? Who are you?”

He smiled at her. “My name is Felassan.”

Felassan? That name seemed familiar somehow. 

“You know Compassion.” He tilted his head towards a young man crouched nearby. His face was obscured by an enormous hat, but she recognized the blonde locks and patched-together leathers.

“Cole!”

Ellana threw herself against him, her arms embracing him in a fierce hug. It had been years since she last saw him. A part of her feared he returned to the Fade. Though he belonged there, it didn't lessen the sadness she felt in his absence. 

As always, the young man was a little awkward when it came to affection. He gave her a little pat on the back, but then threw caution to the wind and returned the hug. It was brief, she didn't want to soak him with her wet clothes.

“What are you doing here? How did you even get here?” 

“We used the eluvians,” Felassan said.

“You have access to them?” Ellana asked.

“I would hope so. I led the Dread Wolf's armies through them.”

That's why his name was so familiar! Harding mentioned a Felassan from Solas's memories.

“You're his general.”

“Was his general, among other things.”

She cocked a brow. “‘Among other things’?”

Felassan sighed. “Solas was my best friend. Then he murdered me. Now it's complicated.” He chuckled ruefully and stood up, hands on his hips.

“... Oh.” Hold on, that didn't make sense. “Wait, if he murdered you, then how are you alive?”

“I suppose he technically didn't murder me so much as render me Tranquil. I ask you which is worse: death of the body or death of the soul?” 

She peered at him skeptically. “You don't act like a Tranquil,” she ventured.

“Oh, I'm not anymore.” He jerked his thumb in Cole's direction. “Compassion found me drifting in the Fade. He touched my mind and I returned to myself.”

“I wanted to help,” Cole said.

Her gaze met Felassan's and she could see the pain of betrayal in his eyes. Solas had broken his mind and, though he recovered, it left scars on his soul. What must it have been like to lose all sense of emotion, trapped in your own mind? To be unable to dream? It was a fate worse than death. His friendship with Solas was ruined.

Or was it?

“He destroyed your mind,” she said quietly. “But you’re here. Why? Did Cole ask you to come?” 

“No,” he said, his smile somber. “I came for the same reason you did: to save him. I should hate him for what he did to me. I'm certainly furious at him for it. Instead, I pity him. He was angry and grieving. Imagine waking up all alone to a world worshipping the very evil you fought so hard to rid it of. He tried to tell the Dalish the truth of their gods and they attacked him. He must have felt like nothing he did mattered. That Mythal died for nothing. He was bitter. I befriended the people who scorned him. Perhaps I was the one who betrayed him first. Perhaps he was envious that I moved on while he was trapped in his regrets and loneliness. I don't know.” His eyes shimmered with tears. “But he's my best friend. I miss him. And now … now he has become … something else.” Felassan stared up towards the Archon's palace. “He watched you fall to your death and it shattered what remained of him. Now a pit of all-consuming darkness spreads across the sky. It will devour the world. But he has to be in there … somewhere.”

His words sparked a panic in her. Ellana's hand flew to her sternum. There was a hole in her tunic, but not one in her chest. “I should be dead. Why am I not dead?” 

“That would be the combined efforts of Felassan and yours truly.”

A raven descended from the tree nearby and disappeared in a puff of black smoke and purple flames. Morrigan landed next to Ellana and extended a hand to her, pulling her to her feet.

“Morrigan,” Ellana breathed. “Thank you, both of you – all three of you – for saving me.”

Morrigan smiled at her. It was softer, lacking its usual snark. “‘Twas close,” she said, “but you have a remarkable will to live, Inquisitor, as you've no doubt proven in the past.”

Ellana grinned at her, but a horrible wrenching sound drew their attention to the city. The Blight stalk was falling. As it did, it took part of the Archon's palace with it. The shockwave of its impact with the ground knocked the four of them over. They quickly scrambled to their feet and jogged further inland as a wall of water washed ashore.

“There goes our way up,” Felassan said in annoyance.

Ellana looked to the sky. “We need to get up there! How did people get up before that thing?”

“I assure you the infrastructure that was put in place for such a purpose is no longer intact,” Morrigan said. 

“Cole, can you read anything from Solas? Maybe we can speak to him!”

“There are too many voices,” Cole said, his voice strained. “They are all screaming.”

“Shit!” she cursed. She paced back and forth on the rocks before cupping her hands around her mouth as an amplifier. “SOLAS!!”

“Marvelous effort, but you are a whisper amongst a hurricane,” Felassan said. He seemed oddly amused, all sadness from a minute ago gone. Ellana got the sense that he tried not to take anything too seriously.

He is Joy.

She wasn't sure why that came to her mind, but it did. 

“Do you have any bright ideas, General?”

He shrugged in response. 

Morrigan grimaced before releasing a sigh. “I can get us up there, but we must never speak of it.”

The elves and Cole exchanged confused glances as Morrigan moved further along the beach. Her dark magic swirled around her as her form began to grow. In a bright flash of light, a dragon stood before them, her magenta and ivory wings outstretched. She threw her head back and roared, testing the form she hadn't used since her fight with Corypheus's archdemon. Her talons flexed, digging into the sand. Smoke billowed from her nostrils.

Then she lowered herself to the ground and looked back at the trio expectantly.

“Oh,” Felassan said with a delighted grin, “now we're talking!” 

[carolinanadeau]

"this female character is underdeveloped" TO YOU. I can read subtext and I know all about her backstory and her rich inner life. also she told me personally

[neverendingford]

.

[merrilark]

The tragedy of Daenerys' marriage and overall relationship with Drogo is not lost on me, I get it, I see the red flags and the issues and the glaring sexism and inherent abuse of it all.

But consider: They're not real and the way they look at each other is cute as heck, Your Honor.

[astrxealis]

okay rambles but i started creatively writing in like ... 5th grade? and. oh god just a little encouragement to anyone looking to get into writing or insecure or whatnot, but HELLS, maybe it's to he expected with my (obviously) very young age and inexperience with writing then, but my writing was really. yeah. Yeah. but then i'm what... a lot older now, obviously, and my writing has gotten leagues better. i'm probably not a good example for this bcs childhood years development stuff are different etc etc BUT practicing writing more and whatnot really does go a long way :]

[nowendil]

thinking about. womanhood again

[maddy-ferguson]

like a month ago a guy told my friend he thought she was cold and disrespectful the day before at a girl's party and since she and i are always together the description has to apply to me too especially because he was talking about a moment where we were talking just the two of us so we reference it 24/7 and the other day we were like this is just like art and patrick who's cold and who's disrespectful...

[sincerity--extreme]

Serious question real quick, am I a whiny baby (an asshole, but the word whiny baby was actually used by 1 person (whiny baby from a weak generation to be exact) so, yeah) for not wanting random people calling me a dyke?

At first I wasn't a huge fan of the word at all, because of how it was used by some people and all that, but with time I learned to be ok with it but only when it's my friends using it, otherwise it still makes me uncomfortable, is it something actually bad or is it ok to feel like that and ask people not to say it?

[sukunasweetheart]

Boyfriend kuna who has the pleasure of meeting your giant domesticated cat that looks exactly like him (but no one actually sees the resemblance except you..)

"That fucker is big. You sure it's not some wild feral cat?"

"Don't call him a fucker! And he's not feral... not anymore, at least."

Kittykuna seems indifferent to your cooing and doting as he remains in a loaf position, and something about the scene feels strangely familiar...

Kittykuna makes eye contact with sukuna - and then hisses.

"... i can see that he's certainly friendly."

"Oh, dont be like that. It took me ages to get close to him as well."

Kittykuna seems very protective of you. Whenever you're lounging about in the living room, he will curl up on your lap or in your arms, and make biscuits on your plush body while making eye contact with sukuna, purring. It mildly pisses him off, but he can't make it known that he's even remotely jealous of a cat.

They clash a lot, you often hear sukuna cursing under his breath and verbally chastising your cat, but their harmless beef and the way he will sometimes return with little scratches or bite marks on his arms make you laugh so hard. It takes a few weeks for them to warm up to each other.

It's very entertaining to watch kittykuna obscure sukuna's vision with his tail when he's lying down to watch tv. He takes his revenge later on by pretending to give him treats, only to hover it away from him. You have to intervene in the end, to scold him for teasing your cat too much.

Sukuna then comes up with a brilliant idea of getting a second cat.

"Don't you think it's a bit boring for him being alone in the house all the time?"

"Really? I don't know... he can be a bit territorial, I'm worried he won't get along with a new cat well."

"Never know 'til we try it."

And then, well, sukuna ends up bringing another cat home. Of course, you don't notice it, but she resembles you.

It takes time to properly and slowly introduce the new cat to your home and to kittykuna. They're both very cautious of each other at first. But you soon see the ice melting, with them gradually becoming comfortable enough to be in the same room, to sharing toys, eating meals together, and then finally beginning to groom each other.

In fact, you find that they soon become inseparable. You've never seen kittykuna become so clingy before. It's like every other day that you see him licking the other cat's fur in his arms, while it purrs contently with her eyes closed.

Sukuna seems proud of himself.

"What did i tell you? He was lonely."

"You didn't say lonely. You said bored," you correct him, crossing your arms.

"Whatever you say, princess."

Watching the cats be all lovey dovey makes him feel like doing the same...

Months later, it soon comes to your attention, that the newer kitty has gained a bit of weight. When you and sukuna take her to the vet (to kittykuna's displeasure) you find out that she is pregnant.

The gasp you let out is dramatic, and sukuna can only laugh as he shakes his head.

"The two of you have been up to naughty things while we weren't watching..." you tell the cats with your hands on your hips. You should've seen it coming, from the way kittykuna always seemed to mount the new cat possessively.

Though you are really excited to see the newborn kittens soon...

"Leave them be. In fact, don't you think they're good role models for us...?" Sukuna recites in your ear teasingly, deeply chuckling.

"I don't know what you mean..."

I suppose you're about to find out exactly what he means tonight...