#i'm really happy for no reason today
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Heyaaa! I'm happy because I can comment again... Ehehe...
Anyway, I did another tarot card of mine and...
Today I give you one of my favourite characters from MLP...
The one and only...
V - The Hierophant - Sunburst
My handwriting... Ahahahaha... It's so baaaaad!!
Anyway, I had an hard time trying to draw Sunburst, I love him, but he's so hard to draw... All the stallions actually are, but... ESPECIALLY HIM, 'cause he has that write thingy In his nose and a BEARD!
Well, I tried! Ahahaha!
#mlp friendship is magic#mlp fim#doodle#enfp#mlp#sketch#mlp art#mlp g4#tarot cards#mlp fanart#the hierophant#mlp sunburst#sunburst#sunburst mlp#beard#glasses#stars#coat#stallion#best characters#hiiii <3#happy today#i'm really happy for no reason today#mlp drawing#drawing#artwork#mlp artwork#art#my art <3#thank you
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one thing about ik is that she will always reach out
#obey me#art#i had the idea for this and managed to bulldoze through drawing it all without losing motivation halfway through#but Do Not expect me to post art this frequently in future#idk how to do panels so if the middle bit with the text might be laid out weird#i added the stars and feathers and stuff because there was a bunch of empty space around the boxes#obey me satan#jtta ik#(btw the crumbling symbol next to the exploding feather is the wrath symbol from in-game)#(with the pride symbol attached upside down at the bottom)#(not so much symbolism as it is just me whacking you over the head with the point but it looks cool)#i had a lot of fun doing satan's more monstrous design so i might try my hand at some of the other demons later?#i do have some ideas for levi (deep sea creatures are just really fun)#also happy nightbringer release day!! it showed up on my homescreen like half an hour ago and i was like “wait what”#for some reason i thought it wasn't releasing til next week??#the new genshin patch is today as well so looks like i'll have plenty to do with the rest of my free time for the easter hols#(i promise i'm also working on the next chapter of jtta but i am so stuck on how to get lucifer actually Talking)#anyway. here's a gold star for making it through all my rambling in the tags for anyone who did so: ⭐
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Y'all are invited to my birthday party today!!🎉🎁🎊🤩 Buckle up! :D
#happy day of birth to me!#i'm so old#(19)#for some reason I'm forced to work today#smh#and only one person wished me happy birthday#i'm not sad about it at all#nuh uh#btw I'm making a cake#i hope y'all like blueberries#it's really good trust
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I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!! Okay so honestly I have been very very inconsistent over the years with just disappearing for periods of time due to various things 😂 So it probably seemed pretty normal to most people.
But it felt different on my side, so I'm excited to be back in business. I took a month long hiatus! 31 days of not drawing digital art. Its not something I talk about on here? But I've been suffering from some serious long term Art Burnout for.... a really really long time. Long enough that I should've taken a break probably years ago. It finally got so bad that I could barely draw. I was scared to do it (cause it always looked "bad" in my eyes [i'll come back to that]) and doing it was exhausting and disheartening.
I talked it over with somebody and realized that the fear and anger and frustration I felt towards my own artwork was uh. Not Normal or Healthy. And I finally committed to taking a real break for once.
I still drew a little bit by hand? Traditional art has always felt like it has lower stakes for me (i don't often share it online, and sometimes I don't even share it with friends) so I did some of that when I felt like it. But Digital art was completely off the table.
I had put such an immense pressure on myself to make my digital art perfect, to make as much of it as quickly as possible to satisfy something. It wasn't fun anymore. I'm proud of what i've made over the years! But for a long time now the stuff I've been making was made while hating every second of making it. With some rare exceptions.
I hated my art! It was a combination of Perfectionism, taking in too many external expectations, and the burnout. If you hate doing something its kinda hard to love it even when you want too lol. It wasn't "Bad" in the sense that the quality was low and it was ugly! It was "Bad" in the sense that it was unhealthy for me to keep doing it at that point in time.
I'm glad to report though, that with my hiatus officially over as of Wednesday last week: I am once again. In Love. With doing art, and being an artist :)
I put off taking a break for years cause I was scared that taking a break would mean that I would never achieve all the things I wanted to do with art. I was scared it was a stupid and lazy thing to do that would mean I'd never achieve my dreams. And Also even though I kinda hated drawing, I also loved making art. Its a weird duality that I can't even really explain??? I hated it but I also loved it. I wanted it but I also wanted to run from it. It wasn't until I was more mature and had more clarity and insight (and unfortunately also until the problems got worse) that I was finally able to let go of those fears and just do it.
And I'm really really glad I did. It was everything I needed. And I hope to strike a better balance in the future with art. Taking more breaks when I need them, or just when other things have my attention like reading or Video games (Some star rail got played during this time xD)
From the outside things probably aren't going to be that different?? At this point I don't really have any sure plans to post anything I've been drawing since my Hiatus ended. I might or I might not xD I'm still a hobbyist artist taking things at her own pace, but I hope that it shows how much happier I am :)
Whumptober 2023 is being officially put to rest by this post btw! I was in major burnout when that event started, and I'm ready to just, move on from all the past expectations I'd shoved on my shoulders. If I feel like filling any of the prompts or going back to any of the ideas I'd come up for it I will! But I'm not going to worry about doing it unless the desire sets in. Thanks to everybody who's been so kind to me throughout my time on here as an artist! Ya'lls tags and screaming and kind words, the fanfic, the asks and the responses? Its been fantastic :) You guys have made me laugh, smile, and cry tears of joy. I hope from here that things only get better and sweeter! And if I have bad days again, that's okay too.
Here's to 2024 and whatever it may bring ya'll :D 🎉🎉✨✨🧡💜
#isa screams#long post#gif#flashing#i think? Lemme know if I'm incorrect on that one alksdjfLKSJDJDSG#I don't normally talk this much so its kinda strange?#its kinda nice to be more honest about this stuff though#I'm a bit more of a private person so its hard to find the balance between wanting to discuss things openly and honestly#but with the fact that I don't owe the entire world an explanation for everything I do#its a tricky thing#but today I felt like doing this and I think that's okay#if i regret it I just won't do it again alsdjLSDJLFJSGSDG#thanks if you read this! I appreciate it!#I'm a pretty smalltime artist relatively. So sometimes it feels as though it doesn't mater what i say or express.#But hm. I doubt its really that simple or bleak#And if I don't respect myself then well. Who will right?#And I want to learn how to be happy with how little or how much I get#part of the reason I've done so poorly mentally as an artist is chasing numbers and outside praise instead of asking the harder questions#am i happy with what i do? what I make? Who I am#I'm going to probably be working on those questions and problems for the rest of my life.#But thats okay. Thats not a bad thing :)
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-Happy Easter..💛
#hi! so.... I'm going to say something different today. just so you don't ““insult”” me and say that I say the same thing every year!/j#for those who don't know. both the bunny and the chocolate egg have a true and also christian meaning!#being that of the egg: “eggs symbolize rebirth and renewal. which makes them perfect for celebrating the story of jesus’ resurrection.”#and the bunny: “the animal was associated with easter because it reproduces quickly and symbolizes fertility and new life.”#(I took this two from a google search. being it in the PORTUGUESE version. so I just translated it.#if you want to look for it in real english. look for it!)#so... it's okay if you want to give someone a chocolate egg or something like that. give a stuffed bunny to a child or someone too.#because there's really no problem#not only because of the real meaning. but there is no reason not to give as a gift something that is also special for that day.#and it's also cute gifts!#just.. DON'T MAKE IT A “SORRY EXCUSE” TO NOT CELEBRATE WHAT THE HOLIDAY REALLY IS!#which is the resurrection of christ! who died on the cross for all of us. ok!?#and yeah.. well. I'm leaving! I hope you have a great day and a blessed easter!! love you all!💛#happy easter#easter#easter art#i'm mel and this is my blog✌️#my art blog#art#my art#my art <3#art mel#my art style#my oc character#mel creator#resurrection of jesus#resurrection of christ#bible verse
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RESIDENT EVIL → THE WESKER FAMILY
To the public, little is known of the families behind some of the world’s most renowned bioterrorists, but the question remains: did they play a role in causing their children to walk down the path that they did? Or are these individuals simply ambitious criminals with delusions of grandeur?
For Diana Wesker (née Afanasyeva), her introduction into the bioweapons black market trade was upon discovering her employers were using her research into limb regeneration with salamanders to further their experiments in creating enhanced soldiers, instead of developing human therapies with which she was recruited for. Although the prospect of using biological weapons in the military did not appeal to her, the concept remained fascinating for her own selfish endeavours. Born on the 27th of October, 1963 in Sydney, Australia to Russian immigrant parents, Diana had harsh expectations placed upon her at a young age, ones that no matter how hard she tried she could never live up to. Her mother, Tatyana, was an unfeeling woman, absent for long stretches of time with little regard to how it affected her daughters, much more concerned with her craft as an accomplished opera singer. Viktor was no better. A strict man whose role as father and ballet master blurred, he pushed his girls to one day follow in his footsteps. Whilst Sofia enjoyed ballet, and went on to become a professional ballet dancer, Diana’s heart was set on going into the field of biology. She wished to make a name for herself, separate from her family – to which she succeeded.
Diana was married to former U.S. Marine, Dave Monroe, for only a year until he was declared dead in 1992 after succumbing to injuries sustained in a horrific car accident. Foul play was ruled out while Diana played the role of the grief-stricken widow, but in reality, she had snapped after years of mistreatment at her husband’s hands, and opted for something she could pass off as an accident to be free of him. For years she believed he was dead – and he was, legally – but that proved to not be the case when he found his way back into her life again in 1999. Unbeknownst to her, she had been lied to by the police and coroner, who were paid off by her employers when they took Dave’s body for themselves and used him as one of their first test subjects in developing supersoldiers. Before he could ever hurt her again, Diana’s second husband, Albert Wesker, tracked the man down, captured him and tortured him, before allowing Diana to get her violent and bloody revenge.
The origins of Albert Wesker’s involvement in bioterrorism, alongside his twin sister, Alex, are much different than that of Diana’s. The two hail from London, Canada, but unfortunately, they hold no memories of their lives there, nor what happened to their biological parents when they were eight years old. Agents of Oswell E. Spencer, an aristocratic billionaire and eugenicist, took the twins from their home and executed their parents as per Spencer’s orders. Albert and Alex were then placed in a home funded by the Spencer Foundation where they were given new names and a privileged upbringing. They had access to the best education possible, free to pursue whichever field they decided, but it was by no accident they both went into virology and bioengineering; at home, their adoptive parents – agents whom they believed to be their real parents – instilled them with the beliefs of Oswell E. Spencer, harbouring disdain for war and pestilence, and believing humans to be an evolutionary dead-end in need of a rebirth. They were only two of the hundreds of children “adopted” as part of what is known as Project W, a plan intended to develop an advanced race of human beings. The most promising candidates were headhunted by Umbrella Pharmaceuticals, the twins amongst them, where they went on to create bioweapons for the company founded by none other than the man who had handpicked them for his plan. The final stage of this was to infect the thirteen Spencer saw fit, however, only two survived; Albert received the intended effects, now possessing superhuman abilities, however, Alex was only offered more time to live due to her terminal degenerative illness.
In the summer of 1995, Diana was working undercover within Umbrella to gather development data on their projects for her company. Here, she had a chance encounter with Albert, an intelligence officer at the time, which permanently altered the course of her life. The two were never seen far from one another’s side, marrying in 1998, and they went on to become notorious in the bioweapons industry. The development of the Uroboros virus was where things took a turn for the worst. Although Diana’s infection was successful and she bore abilities that rivalled her husband’s, the plan itself did not succeed as they had hoped, and almost cost Albert his life at the hands of his former subordinates.
Now, they work within the shadows, with Diana declared missing and Albert believed to be dead. Their legacy, however, lives on with the mark they left on the world. As visionaries in their field, they influenced bioterror attacks carried out by countless individuals and organisations. In turn, they also inspired others to fight against such atrocities. One such person happens to be Albert’s son from a former relationship, Jake Müller, whose existence he was unaware of.
#mine.#oc: diana#pair: ewskers#click for better quality cause it's large & tumblr ate it ♡#hii so happy birthday diana !! queen is 60 today :]#um. there's no template cause i made this from scratch...i couldn't find any i was vibing with so i was like you know what lmaoo#i'm sorry for the essay...it was meant to be just a short rundown of the family but well...that happened. typical leah fashion...#oh and guys. did you know that there's a limit to the amount you can put in one blockquote? that's why the rest is just left like that caus#i didn't like how it looked with a blockquote each paragraph...cause the spaces between were unever. you understand 😔#with the tree i was also going to include weskids adoptive parents but i couldn't figure out how to arrange it all & make it look nice !!#cause i also wanted to have spencer in there as well cause he's a big reason why the weskids are the way they are...was maybe gonna include#sherry as well. like connected to jake (hehe) and then do her parents too but that would've made things so wide & it's already big enough#yes. i hc that albert & alex are biological twins. just for clarification there :] i don't think i added anything else that isn't canon or#implied with canon. cause the weskids were put in homes (or at least whatever ''controlled environments'' means) where they were monitored#by umbrella but were unaware of it. so yeah. i don't think i really changed much there !!#honestly i could've kept rambling cause there's alex's whole situation. there's my lore with jake's mum. there's way more with the ewskers#but it's already so long & i can't be concise so there's that lmaoo oh also diana's grandma. so much stuff#also meant to say the weskids birthday in that ramble. it's january 15 1960 :] they are capricorn sun leo moons but alex was born earlier s#their rising signs are albert is a scorpio rising & alex is a libra rising !!#had to redo the image cause typo on diana's birth year for some reason lmao so if that messed up the formatting i will sob
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Been thinking about a postgame scenario that goes in a direction I don't think canon would ever take in a million years, but like... I think it could be really compelling...
And that's the idea of Chrom becoming Plegia's king after Grima's defeat. And specifically giving up his claim to Ylisse's throne to do it (leaving it to Lucina when she's old enough).
Because here's the thing... The game ends with Grima's defeat/Robin's return in the sacrifice ending. It doesn't address what happens to Plegia at all, and while I personally maintain that Aversa is the most qualified candidate to rule, her canon ending provides that she goes back to the village she was born in. So, fine. Let's give her that.
But SOMEONE has to do SOMETHING because realistically, Plegia is in dire straits. Validar, the king and the leader of the Grimleal, is dead. He gave, like, ALL of Plegia's resources to the Ylissean League (well, okay, we don't know how much, if any, he left in reserve, but... He really needed Walhart gone and it's not like he had any reason to think that anyone would need resources once Grima was running around, so... chances are good there's little to nothing left in the wake of the averted apocalypse). And the population has been utterly devastated, because not only did people (exactly how many is unclear, but presumably it took more than just a couple) have to sacrifice themselves to renew the fell dragon's power, but Grima was also spawning Grimleal onto their back at the final battle. Their losses are so immense...
So first of all, Chrom is definitely responsible for taking all their resources and setting half of them on fire (Now to be fair, Flavia and Basilio are also responsible, but... Idk, I kinda feel like they'd bicker with each other over who has to do the crappy parts of the job and then agree that they should just ask Chrom if he can do it. Like "Haha, if you didn't want to deal with thieves ambushing the Longfort to steal construction supplies, you shouldn't have gone and beaten me at the last tournament!" "Oh, shut up. Let's see if Chrom can send his thief friend over to talk these guys down. Or kill them, whichever." I mean, Chrom is always going to be their guy who knows a guy.) There's just no way Chrom would abandon the surviving Plegians who need help anyway, but especially not when he knows the war with Valm would've ended before it could begin without them.
Of course, there's the historical hostility between Ylisse and Plegia to consider, but... If anyone's protesting, it's probably the Ylisseans. Because the survivng Plegians, uh... probably were never Grima's most devoted followers in the first place (if you really wanted to give Grima your life, you'd rush to the front of the line at the Dragon's Table, right?) and even if they used to consider themselves true Grimleal, the religion's leadership is destroyed, and—for the purpose of this scenario, I'm considering it post-sacrifice ending—the fell dragon is gone and not coming back. These people narrowly avoided becoming Grima's breakfast or Grima's meat shields. They all almost certainly know someone who wasn't as lucky. And the one who saved them... Well, it was Chrom, wasn't it? Because he believed in humanity enough to challenge the concept of fate, a fate that the people of Plegia were surely taught was inescapable. Despite their history with Ylisse, it's hardly unreasonable for them to see Chrom as a savior to them specifically. The second coming of the Hero-King who ought for the lives of all humans, really.
And yeah, I'm going here... Chrom is Marth's descendant. Marth was Altean. Former Altea is is modern Plegia, so technically, the people can argue that he's actually theirs.
Doesn't it sort of make sense, even? Plegia is ruined, the god to whom the theocracy was devoted killed. "What we need is to restore the glory of ancient Altea!" And who better to help them than Chrom, Marth's successor in blood and in spirit?
But Chrom would frown and say no. Of course he's going to help them restore their country to prosperity—or at least to independent, peaceful functioning. But king? Sheesh, that's going too far. Come on guys, you don't really want that. Besides, he's already ruling Ylisse...
Except, he's not ruling it as Exalt. At least, not at first he's not. He forswore the title when he started his rule and in canon he is only official welcomed as Exalt after Grima's defeat. But what if he just... continued to not accept it. It's not like he ever wanted to be Exalt. He only has the right to rule because Emmeryn died—because he failed to protect her. It has nothing to do with any of his successes.
But if the Plegians made him their king, then it would be because of his own accomplishments.
And in a way I also can't help but find it heartwarming, because it was the Plegian people who got him to truly understand Emmeryn's ideals. He wanted peace, he wanted to follow her path, but it wasn't until the Plegians took her sacrifice for the peace offer it was and refused to continue fighting Ylisse that Chrom was finally able to comprehend what it meant that Emmeryn believed that all people wanted the same thing, that peace is something for everyone and not just purehearted saints like her who would never hurt a fly. So wouldn't it be sweet to expand on that existing connection? For the people who once bore a grudge against him and his nation to say, actually, our home is your home and you belong with us... For Chrom to reach back and decide that these are his people and that he will protect them...
Especially because that's what he's always done for Robin. Your father doesn't get to determine your path for you, your past doesn't dictate your future, you always have a place beside me because we are two halves of a greater whole. This AU is definitely a chrobin AU, because when Robin gets back I want them to rule at his side (after all, I do have feelings about Grima's loyalty to a people who have been praying to them to end their suffering for a thousand years).
Now, I do think that Chrom would never leave Ylisse while little Lucina was still growing up, but... Honestly it would probably take quite some time to establish a castle for Plegia's new ruler anyway (especially if they go super hard on the Altean revival theme and want it to be IN former Altean territory, which has become the "border wastes" and undoubtedly needs some help... But EVERYWHERE in Plegia needs help, so what better time to give the land some attention?) So when Lucina is an adult she can take over as Ylisse's true Exalt, and Chrom can focus his efforts on the other side of the border. I think he'd still be awkward about the whole thing, approaching it like "Well, I guess I'm here if you all still want me..." but Robin's there to give him confidence and the people there are SO excited for their hero to come and live with them and together they all usher in a new era of peace and prosperity as Ylisse and Plegia themselves become like two halves of a greater whole.
#this au kinda came to me out of nowhere today but also it's based on years of awakening brainrot so it's kinda also not out of nowhere#idk i've been thinking a lot lately about how risen king chrom wears a crown and how grima never does#and i just wanted like... a good timeline variant of rkc kinda? plegian king chrom?#and i was thinking about how much chrom resists becoming the exalt#and i was thinking about how he still resents the ylisseans that threw rocks at emm#and i was thinking about the hierarch who betrayed emmeryn being a longtime family friend who helped guide her whe she was young#and i was thinking about how chrom has every reason to be more grateful to those plegian soldiers who threw down their weapons in the war#than to any member of the ylissean nobility#and it just hit me like... you know what... he could be very happy in plegia. no apocalypse required#i've written fics where chrobin rule plegia before but never one where the primary ruler was chrom so i am full of new thoughts on this one#uh but don't get too excited because i don't really have the energy to write a real fic for this au any time soon asdfghjkl#nevertheless i'm tagging it for reference...#my writing#fe13
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I accidentally started only the brave pray for me
#for the longest time I thought I already read this fic#because I got it mixed up with a different fic#and then today I was watching TikTok and I realized this is not what I thought it was#so I pulled it up to read it later and then I got my open tabs mixed up#and now I'm on chapter 4 and I'm very nervous for some reason because I don't really know what it's about#like I know it's semi canon compliant and I know it has a happy ending#but it's extremely long and takes place over the course of like two years#honestly if anyone wants to supply me with a spoiler filled plot synopsis under 300 words I would really appreciate it#the marauders#james potter#regulus black#jegulus#only the brave#starchaser#sunseeker#perry's pontification#plzandspanku wishes this was twitter
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guess what ! doodles . again
edgar , nny and devi belong to johnen vasquez (even if i only drew nny and devi at the bottom)
scriabin by zarla-s
#sunny's art#vargas#vargas zarla#edgar vargas#scriabin vargas#zarla s#doodles#scriabin#okee dokee ! time to ramble about my life . you can skip the rest of this if you don't want to read .#started these one day before my first day of school and i just finished them today WOAH#i haven't had time to draw for one reason or another#i've had only two weeks of school and i'm already sick of it#my teachers are okay .#i've been interacting with my friends a lot more lately and i realized that that makes me feel really happy !#overall . everything's been fine these days.#i pretty much gave up on trying to find people with my interests#los fans irl de jthm son puro invento de los papás#what else hmm#i struggled so much with some of these#my art style is still inconsistent af#trying to fix that ...#also halfway through this i realized that everything i was drawing was SO BORINg#i keep drawing the same stuff over and over again#whatever i want to draw some crossovers next#i have some things on mind :3 i'm exciteeeed#hopefully i'm able to draw them tomorrow .#DAMN it's already 3am good night
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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible
#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything#i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by#while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi#i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real#problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about#and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real#or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason#i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place#because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk#negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual#i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed#a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO#i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait#and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life#like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it#just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy#i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy#and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation#because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life#anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is#to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck
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.
#okay I'm gonna get a bit personal here lmao#so i used to have a childhood best friend whom I've known basically since he was born lmao (he's 4 years younger)#he's always been like a little brother to me and we used to be inseparable until like 11 years ago#and then the friendship stopped sooo abruptly basically from one day to another#and i literally have no idea to this day why#i mean idk at that point those 4 years were a BIG gap me being 15 and him 11#but I'm not sure if that was it or if his parents didn't like it or some completely different reason#we're actually neighbors and it's crazy to me that we haven't had any in person interaction since then#we say hello if we see each other and wish each other a happy birthday online but that's it#and today me and my dad went over to the neighbors because..#(well I'm not gonna elaborate here because there was some police action in the neighborhood and i felt like i was in an action movie#and that's what brought the neighbors together whatever it's a long story)#and he was there and i realized i miss him lmao#i mean I've always missed him i never stopped missing our friendship#and i really really wanna reach out and say “hey you wanna grab coffee some time?” and just catch up#but I'm scared lol#like what if he says no#what if he doesn't wanna do anything with me#idk the rejection would feel awful a second time#am i being irrational here am i overthinking#maaaan idk#i never share anything too personal here so this feels weird lol#personal
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Hey y'all!! Here's a better picture of my latest tarot card!!
Here I have...
IV - The Emperor - King Grover
I don't know what happened down the drawing... Ahahaha...
#mlp fim#doodle#enfp#sketch#mlp#mlp art#art#mlp fanart#mlp friendship is magic#mlp king grover#king grover mlp#king grover#mlp g4#mlp tarot cards#tarot cards#mlp fandom#artwork#project#the emperor#cards#hiiii <3#thanks for all your ♥️#have a nice dayyyy#this design was pretty simple#ehehe#boreas idol#good night#nice day again#i'm really happy for no reason today#30 tags?
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You know what I like? Star Trek
#had a conversation with my sister today and kept denigrating my current passion and lifestyle but like... maybe don't do that?#listen ok I've been trying to be cool my whole life#and I have failed cause at my core I am just not a chill person#shamelessly leaning into something that I like isn't something I did openly before#and honestly? it's changed me for the better#low key it's the reason I don't have a real job right now#because I've been miserable in every structured job I've had (except for maybe college teaching)#and the last conversation I had with my grandpa before he died he asked me if I was happy because that's all that mattered#and while this little shift in existence is ridiculous in the grand scheme of what I've accomplished in my life#and hustling is harder than just showing up and getting a paycheck#and however much I'm not meeting my parents' vision of my potential#I am closer to actually being able to answer his question honestly than ever before#also it led to the wild neurodivergent revelations#so being able to declare openly that I like something is already a shift#and being able to engage with people who are honestly the most open kindest group I've ever encountered?#amazing#cause I'm actually a mega loner who barely talks to people#I'm honestly so glad I got lost in the delta quadrant cause without boyager I wouldn't have come to these conclusions#so yeah I'm kinda really into Star Trek#and if you've read this I'm sure you already know how severely uncool and locked into this I am but alas I can confirm by talking inthe tags#en fin
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The secret of happiness
was always concealed from me
But now that it’s been expressed
your secret’s revealed to me...
#pet shop boys#neil tennant#chris lowe#synthpop#pethead#queer#nonetheless#the secret of happiness#music#lgbtq#trans#got this at the beginning of pride month but i forgot to post it here and this is basically my psb archive lmao#tsoh is my favorite song on nonetheless and will forever be That bitch in my eyes because its so.... neil outdid himself with that one#but also it was heavily inspired by one of my favorite psb songs ever: metamorphosis#so i decided to combine two tattoo ideas in one since both songs share butterflies as a symbol of change (and more in the case of tsoh)#the boys have always been there for me since even before i started my transition and nonetheless as an album means the world to me#there's a whole sob story behind this simple word that i won't share because who wants to hear about religious trauma and depression#but yeah i love neil and chris so much and i'd take a bullet for them because they're the reason i'm here today#happy pride month#and yes i did flip the photo because it's really hard to take one without help skdk
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Today was a good day :)
#Today three strangers were kind to me in three different occasions. It was such a nice coincidence :)#I've been working on Akutagawa's birthday the entire week and today Akutagawa posts were all over my dash. I'm so happy!#I managed to do all the edits I had set up to and I'm glad :)#I dressed rigorously black and white and wore the black striped pants I bought because they reminded me of Beast Akutagawa's outfit#I did my nails black and red!!#My mother called me to congratulate on Akutagawa's birthday#I even baked a cake with a friend and they were so sweet /////#I'm so grateful they managed to make time for it even though they've been so busy and tired because of their job#More than everything I'm grateful they weren't weird about it#They found it a little silly but they never made fun of me. They helped me pick the cake.#And today they even told me that they looked up a video of the character to understand me better#Which TERRIFIES me because no way anyone could get a good impression of Akutagawa from a single video#But if we ignore that it was an unbelievably nice gesture :')#It's just such a foreign feeling because outside of my blog I NEVER talk about my hyperfixations irl.#Because when I used to when I was younger I was only met with scorn or mockery so ever since I started university I simply learnt not to?#And it's just so genuinely weird to talk with someone irl who wouldn't judge me for it–#and not really in the good way because part of me is still convinced that they *are* judging me for it.#Doesn't matter everything suggests the contrary. And I keep overthinking if I overshared about Akutagawa or if I said something dumb#But I'm trying it not to get to me. Today they've been nothing but nice through and through#Whatnot. The last months were very tough for some reason I'm just happy good things can still happen :)#I want to start the queue again now that I'm generally more free and done with Aktgw's birthday and everything.#I also have new exams the first days of April and the program is pretty heavy and wide. On top of following courses. I'll see what I can d#I'd like to start regularly posting again because I'm afraid if I don't I'll just sulk further in misery. We'll see.#Ah I need to catch up with the dash since I've basically not been on Tumblr for three days...#That's it just rambling. I hope everyone's days are nice too!!!#random rambles
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I adore Luzu, so it really warms my heart that when he was mentioned today when Phil was asking about La Velada, not only did PHIL get super excited and emphasize his support for Luzu, but Chat also got excited and hyped him up. All us crows love him so much, even though we only saw him interact with Phil once :') I hope that now his training is over, he can log back in and they can hang out again
#i talk#qsmp talk#I was MIA all day today so I was watching the VOD#I'm so glad someone brought up Luzu's fight and La Velada to Phil I was thinking nobody would#I'm really happy#I gotta stop watching now though because my stomach is killing me#MAN I wish these stomach / abdominal issues would go away#Luzu te extraño#come home#I saw Cellbit wanted to see Luzu in the game too and I'm like YESSSSSSS#Luzu loves doing lore so much he'd get along SO well with Cellbit#I didn't even consider that until now#I'm talking cc Luzu and Cellbit#their characters... might not#it depends ENTIRELY on how their first meeting goes#Anyways I'm very emo about the whole La Velada thing for many reasons#but also because I straight up thought Luzu won#they suddenly they were like no he didn't#apparently I'm not in the minority thinking this though#I was like ''well maybe my boxing knowledge isn't great''#but no#once again... another tournament with issues#and bias#and a heap of other problems I wont' spend time catching up on because YEESH that sounds like a mess#glad Luzu and the other CCs had fun though
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