#i'm ready depression
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FULLY VOICED METEOR IMPACT TIME TO DIE AGAIN
#time to make chiaki's depressive episode 10 times worse#FUUUUUUUUUCK#I'M NOT READY THANK YOU#chiaki morisawa#morisawa chiaki#守沢千秋#kanata shinkai#shinkai kanata#深海奏汰#ryuseitai#流星隊#ensemble stars basic#ensemble stars#enstars#あんさんぶるスターズ!#あんスタ#mo rambles into the void#meteor impact
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#to say I'm definitely not ready is a gross understatement#but LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO#the dragon prince#tdp#tdp season 7#give us the saga#continue the saga#giveusthesaga#continuethesaga#ok back to my depression hole I go :)
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Red String of Fate
#remember how Stolas broke the thread in “Just Look My Way” right? so...#Blitz is so ready to dive into all the romance and stuff#and Stolas is just a depressive owl I can't-#TToTT#my art#artists on tumblr#hellaverse#Red String of Fate#helluva boss#stolitz#helluva boss blitzø#helluva boss blitz#helluva boss blitzo#helluva boss stolas#stolas#blitzo#blitzø#stolitz fanart#helluva boss fanart#stolas goetia#helluva boss mastermind#I'm drawing these two for practically the first time in my life and damn it's hard ughh
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this weekend has felt like such a beautiful breath of fresh air. two days spent laughing and drinking champagne and making love and sleeping in late. i feel rested and ready to face the world again. today feels like *my* new year's day. i have so much i want to do and achieve and i finally feel ready for it <3
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I know it’s not the point but also this shot has me dying in laughter
Baby Thomas Elliot Bridgerton, Lord Featherington, just looks so unimpressed by his mama’s writing. This baby has just been born and already he’s a literary critic and thinks he can do so much better. He’s going to cause so much mayhem of his own one day to which Pen will just sigh inwardly, wondering what they’ve put out there in the world and Colin will just stand there all proud thinking “that’s my son” 😂
#he will put his parents to shame 😂#polin is not ready for the sheer amount of chaos their son will bring to the ton in 17 years#I suddenly really want to write a fic about Thomas Elliot Bridgerton Lord Featherington literary critic#breaker of hearts and down bad for one secret girl#the stupid jokes are coming back so I think I'm slowly getting over the depression era of post part 2#lol 😂😂😂#protect that baby at all costs#polin#bridgerton#bridgerton season 3#thomas bridgerton
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#Jujutsu Kaisen Season 2#jjkgraphics#jjk spoilers#shibuya incident#aoi todo#yuji itadori#mahito#sukuna#long post#I'M READY FOR DEPRESSION AGAIN#my gif
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So my boyfriend convinced me to watch One Piece with him...
#we haven't even reached marineford yet and i'm already depressed#i'm not ready for that fck#i won't be functional for a week#or a month#one piece#one piece meme#one piece art
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Please let me die already
#i wanna kms#born to die#i wanna die#i want to kms#im going to kms#ready to kms#kill my feelings#kill my thoughts#send help#please help#i need a lobotomy#tw depressing thoughts#depressing shit#tw depressing stuff#sorry for being depressing#tw ed ana#tw self destructive behavior#tw self destruction#self h@rm#i need to cvt#irl yandere#i need her#i want to cry#i'm gonna throw up#i'm going insane#i'm gonna cry#i will never recover#i love her#yancore#obsessive yandere
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WIP Wednesday!
Yuga is creative with Ganon’s powers, but you’ve fought Ganon thrice now. You have five adventures worth of experience. Yuga doesn’t expect you to be so fast or so strong. He doesn’t expect you to turn his painting magic against him. Yuga falls. Hilda refuses to back down. You can’t blame her. Ravio steps between you and Hilda. He lowers his hood, revealing a face too similar to yours. He begs her to stop. “Lorule may be doomed,” he says, “but at least we won’t be condemned for stealing their Triforce.” Hilda listens. She returns you and Zelda to Hyrule’s Sacred Realm (no longer the Dark World you remember). The Triforce waits for you to make a wish. You think about your first wish. You wished for your uncle to return. For the things you loved to be safe again. You wanted, and you wished. Now, you stand before the Triforce again—older, wearier. You know what a selfless wish can cost. You sold an entire world for the Wind Fish’s freedom. What will it cost to bring a world back?
Zelda stands beside you, her hand steady in yours. “Lorule deserves a future,” she says. You wonder if it’s greedy to hope for more than that. You wish anyway.
#writing wip#linked universe#legend of zelda#a link between worlds#lu legend#a very deliberate mirror of a previous wip post :)#I wanted to have a Fallen Fae wip ready but I am a fool and posted ch1 sooner than I probably should have#Fortunately the write-a-thon is this weekend!#This fic is about Leg being a Bisexual Maelstrom#(among other things)#I had a ludonarrative incident with TFH which really helps set the stage for Leg's post-ALBW Depressive Mess so I'm poking at this again
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The very funny thing about having finally recovered from depression after being depressed for literally decades is. Even though I'm no longer depressed. My kneejerk initial reaction when I get overwhelmed is like "fuck it time to die" and then, because I have spent a lot of time and intention and money on therapy, my IMMEDIATE next thought is "no you won't babe, eat some broccoli. Go for a run. Go see ur friends" and the moment I've done any combination of those things I'm like singing showtunes about how good life is. Like ok brain i understand you spent the last fifteen years in a critical state but maybe we can do the broccoli first next time. Vegetables before defaulting to Habitual Symptoms please.
#Mental health#depression#Suicide mention#It's like when you heal from an injury.#A while back I fucked up my knee.#Limped on it for weeks#And it hurt for longer#To the point where I was always mentally bracing whenever i stood up from a chair#Ready to hurt#So that when i “graduated” physical therapy#I was still bracing every single time i moved#Ready for it to hurt. But it didn't#And like. Will that injury still tweak a little sometimes? If I Don't Take Care Of it?#Yeah. But it's almost totally gone. And for months I was shocked every time I braced to hurt and there was nothing there#So when I get stressed i like. Preemptively brace to be suicidal#to hate myself and my life again#And then .... I'm kind of surprised when I... don't.#I know my depression is cured because i know what it feels like to be depressed. Just like i know what it's like to hurt.#And the absence still strikes me sometimes#the way the sun shines through a gap in the trees that's created when you cut down something diseased and dead.#And you're like. God rays. For years there was a shadow here and now there are sunbeams.#No-- there were always sunbeams.
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I just reread the bonus chapter and I'm just, as always, struck by how fucking obvious Gwyn and Azriel's set up is.
✨ He found it already occupied. His shadows had not warned him. It was too late to bank without appearing like he was running, Azriel landed in the ring a few feet from where Gwyn practiced in the chill night, her sword glimmering like ice in the moonlight.
I'm telling you those shadows are going to play wingmen for Az.
✨ His shadows peered over his wings at her. The young priestess smiled--and Azriel thought it might have been directed at his curious shadows.
Does anyone ever really smile at his shadows except for Gwyn 😭
✨ "Happy Solstice," she said, as much a dismissal as it was a holiday blessing. -- He snorted. "Are you kicking me out?" -- Gwyn's teal eyes flashed with alarm. "No! I mean, I don't mind sharing the ring. I just...I know you like to be alone." Her mouth quirked to the side, crinkling the freckles on her nose. "Is that why you came up here?"
Gwyn really indirectly said he was going to be a brooding ass so let's wish him a happy solstice and let him go and he still teased her back instead of taking the opening she gave him. Also, no one pays enough attention to this detail but SHE KNOWS he likes to be alone 👀 girl is paying close attention to him alright 👀
✨ Sort of. "I forgot something," he reminded her. -- "At two in the morning?" Pure amusement glittered in her stare. Better than the pain and grief he'd spied a moment before. So he offered her a crooked smile. "I can't sleep without my favorite dagger."-- "A comfort to every growing child." -- Azriel's lips twitched.
Gwyn has no filters on I love her 😂😂😂 she really indirectly called his lying ass out.
✨ "How was the party?" Her breath curled in front of her mouth, and one of his shadows darted out to dance with it before twirling back to him. Like it heard some silent music. -- "Fine," he said, and realized a heartbeat later that it wasn’t a socially acceptable answer. "It was nice." Not much better. So he asked, "Did you and the priestesses have a celebration?"
For a 500+ year old immortal Az you should've been better at this game, but I'm proud of you for at least being self-aware and trying to have a normal conversation. 2/5 on the effort but still appreciated.
✨ She angled her head, hair shining like molten metal. "Do you sing?” -- He blinked. It wasn't every day that people took him by surprise, but..."Why do you ask?" -- "They call you shadowsinger. Is it because you sing?" -- “I am a shadowsinger--it's not a title that someone just made.” -- She shrugged again, irreverently. Az narrowed his eyes, studying her. "Do you, though?" she pressed. "Sing?" -- Azriel couldn't help his soft chuckle. "Yes."
1. Not many people take him by surprise but she did. -- 2. I wouldn't be surprised because it's funny as hell if she asked him because of shadowSINGER -- 3. Azriel taking offense and reaffirming he is, in fact, a SHADOWSINGER. -- 4. Sarah confirmed there will be a scene of him singing, as far as we know Gwyn is likely the only character who knows he does, also the fact that SJM created something common between the two of them and it's that they both sing? -- 5. It's sweet to think that Gwyn wanted to know something about him and asked him about something she herself loves to do, which is sing.
✨ "I blame Cassian for this. He's too busy making eyes at Nesta to notice such mistakes these days." Azriel laughed. "I’ll give you that."
Gwyn complaining about Nessian and Az is like "I can relate " 😂
✨ Gwyn smiled broadly. "Thank you." -- Azriel dipped his head in a sketch of a bow, something restless settling in him. Even his shadows had calmed. As if content to lounge on his shoulders and watch.
She smiled at him and both him and his shadows felt calm 🥹 like compare how aloof and depressed he was at the start of his scene with Gwyn to him feeling this just after one conversation with her 😭😭 it's so 😭😭 I love them so fucking much.
✨ Gwyn nodded her farewell, again facing the ribbon. A warrior sizing up an opponent, all traces of that charming irreverence gone. Azriel entered the warmth of the stairwell, and as he descended, he could have sworn a faint, beautiful singing followed him. Could have sworn his shadows sang in answer.
"That charming irreverence" Gwyn is so unapologetic about that irreverence I love her for it -- also, that's a clear, in-your-face, clue about a mating bond. I stand by that and my opinion remains unchanged since I first read the bonus chapter in 2021.
✨ Clotho was smart enough to see through his deflection. She wrote, "I’ll give it to Gwyneth, Tell her a friend left it for her". -- He wouldn't go so far as to call Gwyn a friend, but... "Fine. Thank you."
I don't really find this alarming when people try to push into my face. It's obvious they're not in love "yet" and Azriel doesn't have any friends outside the IC, he doesn't know how to label it. It's still early to even label it. That "but..." leaves an opening there.
✨ Clotho's pen moved once more. She deserves something as beautiful as this. I thank you for the joy it shall bring to her. -- Something sparked in Azriel's chest, but he only nodded his thanks and left. He could picture it, though, as he ascended the stairs back to the House proper. How Gwyn's teal eyes might light upon seeing the necklace. For whatever reason... he could see it. -- But Azriel tucked away the thought, consciously erasing the slight smile it brought to his face. Buried the image down deep, where it glowed quietly. -- A thing of secret, lovely beauty.
When Clotho thanked him for the joy the gift wil bring to Gwyn that's when something sparked in him. That's when he started to picture that joy. "For whatever reason" she's likely your mate bro that's why but we'll save that for later. He was aware and conscious enough to erase his smile yet bury the image of Gwyn's joy in his chest. He had a DAMN SMILE on his face while thinking of Gwyn's joy, like, that's so precious 😭 and Clotho is 100% true, she deserves all the joy the world has to offer for her (I just wish it wasn't a necklace meant for someone else). I get the kindness behind the act but it can bite him in the ass if SJM brings it up in the main book.
That's only a teaser for what's to come and that's the purpose of the bonus chapter. I can see why Sarah was more excited for readers to read Azriel's chapter than Feysand's chapter. She knew what she was doing here and what she's setting up. I didn't want to post the earlier scenes since I don't want to deal with people showing up with pitchforks and I don't need to talk about other ships I'm happy and content to gush about my own.
Every time I reread this chapter it just reminds me of how obvious Gwyn and Azriel's set up is and you don't need a pairing to bang or make out to create a set up. We didn't even get much but they are going to be such a fun couple, I need more of funny and easy-going Azriel.
#gwynriel#acosf#I'm reminded of the first time I read it#I was not spoiled by anything so I didn't know Gwyn was in it#when she showed up I SQUEALED#how much I fucking adore her#she really brought some light into what was a dark and depressing chapter#an absolute angel#I already was picking up clues from ACOSF but the bonus chapter confirmed what's coming#and I am fucking ready
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*stumbles out of ofmd season 2 covered in soup and blood*
#covered in gay soup but at least i'm less depressed#welcome to the gravy basket#i am not ready to be mentally devastated by whatever fresh hell david jenkins has planned for the finale btw#ofmd#ofmd s2 spoilers#is soup a spoiler?#🍲
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* crying and screaming *
Today my younger brother told me I have nothing to be proud of because I'm only productive for about two hours out of my entire day. That's tough love, but as someone who struggles with depression, being told to be ashamed of how little I do sucks. I'm trying the best I can!
With this said, if someone has said something similar to you or made you feel this way, I want you to remember that some progress is better than no progress at all! Even if all you did was get out of bed, or if all you did was stay in it.
Show up for yourself however you can, and don't let anyone tell you that your effort isn't enough.
#tbh this has put a dampner on my day#and I actually woke up happy and ready to try today too. 😫#I'm going to try to be here for myself anyway. moping won't help#mine#mental health#positive mental attitude#positivity#self help#self love#depression help#productivity
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I'm so tired of just getting by,
barely living.
#me#personal#mine#depressing shit#selfie#tired#I'm ready to actually enjoy life but i just dont know how to get to that point
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Y'all ever see a blorbo take so bad it temporarily snaps you out of your mental illness so you can complain about it?
#vomit mention#also i'm preeeetty toasted right now and it let me eat something and have a nice nap so i'm a little better#TERRIFIED of it immediately relapsing the second i let my guard down#but after two weeks of build up#two days of pure disassociation and existentially visceral depression#a hardcore psychotic breakdown#and then puking my guts out#i'm ready to rejoin society at a very slow pace#anyway i'm about to make a post hold on
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why do people always start drama at the very end of the school year
#my best guy friend is mad at me#two of my friends are beefing#not very close friends but regardless#OVER A BOY#the same boy i happen to like BUT at least i'm aware of what's going on#like one girl is going out with him and isn't ready for a relationship with him#the other REALLYYY WANTS HIM#i do too but liek. come in#*on#and i'm so so fucking stressed and depressed all the time#i just want to have my life go according to plan#ceri.txt
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