#i'm proud of myself too. didn't feel insecure.

[midwestprincesss]

never say sorry -sub!art donaldson x fem!reader smut

notes- this was literally supposed to be super short but i got carried away cause i am a whore (and proud of it)

cw- art is a little insecure:( , mentions of him having sex with tashi before (NO TASHI SLANDER I LOVE MY GIRL BUT IT'S FOR THE PLOT😭) , he cums prematurely (like...really..) art's a whiny little slut, art keeps calling reader love ( i got a thing for that pet name sorry y'all) , reader calls art 'artie' once cus it's cute&idc.

thinking about art constantly apologizing while having sex :( like ur unzipping his pants and he's already bucking his hips up into your hand, and then immediately muttering "sorry":(( my babyyy

so at first you think that okay, whatever, it's just something that slips out

but then he does it SO many times that you're actually starting to be concerned

like, you're giving him head and he moans a little too loudly- he's apologizing again. while kissing, you pull back for air and he still follows you, mouth half-open, wanting more - but then he realizes and he apologizes again.

but one time he really caught you off guard-

it had been a long day for him, spending almost all day training for his upcoming match. he barely had any time to rest, so he comes back to his dorm, taking off his shirt and pants, getting into bed with you only with his baby-blue boxer briefs on.

he kisses you. he's so fucking tired, but he still kisses you. 'cause he needs you, especially after the day he just had. you could feel his hard cock, practically begging you to take his boxers off.

"please love, wanna see you" he says while tugging at your top, watery eyes glistening with tears waiting to be spilled.

you take it off and unclasp your bra, little whimpers leaving his lips at the sight of you over him, with your tits out. you would love to take your time with him, really. to hear him beg and plead for you. but he's so eager, and so polite about it too- you just can't do that to him right now. so when you take off his boxers, his cock immediately jumps up, slapping his lower abdomen, right over his strawberry-blond happy trail.

"aww baby, look at you. you're so pretty aren't you?" you smile down at him, admiring how his legs shake slightly at every word you say. "hmm? aren't you?" you repeat. "mmghn- yeah, i- uhh i am" he says, eyes almost rolling back from the lack of touch. "you're what? say it." he sighs. you do this a lot. 'self love is important' you usually tell him- but not now. not when his dick is out, aching and leaking and begging to be touched. but just for the sake of it- just because he wants to please you, he says it. "i'm pretty"

"good boy," you coo, finally bringing a finger down to his cock, only to circle his pink, wet tip. and with that, he loses it. his mind goes blank, and he can't help it- all the waiting, the anticipating made him lose control of his body. he really didn't want to cum, he wanted to be good for you, but you were just so hot, he couldn't hold back. so immediately after his white, thick and warm liquid lands partially on his stomach and a bit on your hand, he starts babbling out apologies.

"i'm sorry, i'm so sorry love, please don't be mad, please- i'll clean up after myself- oh my god i'm so sorry-" he was so obviously tired, he could barely make up the words, yet he still continued apologizing. until you cut him off.

"art, baby- you dont need to apologize to me! what's up with this" you ask, softly. "you know i love making you feel good. and it's even better when i get feedback like this" you giggle. his cheeks turn bright pink as he covers his face.

"but i literally came the second you touched me" he mumbles, shyly.

you kiss his shoulder, smiling. "and it was hot."

"i- I don't know how to explain it to you, love- i just don't want to disappoint you. tashi used to hate it when i did any of this, she hated hearing me, and stuff like that- sometimes it made me feel like i was an object to her or something, y-you know? she'd get mad at me, and uh- it wasn't great."

"oh." you could actually feel your heart breaking for the boy. he was so sweet, he never deserved any of that. "well i'm not tashi, and i definitely won't get mad at you for anything like that. i like hearing you, and believe it or not, this was really fucking hot. you're letting me know i'm making you feel good. what's wrong with that?"

"just don't wanna upset you." art shrugs.

"i promise you artie, you could never upset me." you peck his lips and he smiles. "now let's clean you up"

[xenteaart]

when you're feeling weak, i'll be the words if you can't speak

pairing: chan x reader (i wrote it with idol!chan or producer!chan in mind, but it can fit any au, really) genre/warnings: er, angst, hurt/comfort, implied suffering w depression and anxiety. reader is feeling off and insecure. also kinda going almost non verbal author's note: a short lil songfic ig coz it's inspired by Isak Danielson – I Can't Lose You. basically channie being a comfort boyfie material

to put it simply, you were never not anxious or insecure. but stepping into the big adult life, you sort of learned to conceal it well, even from your own self. the fake it till you make it thing, and you could even say you've "made it" with a small exception of the days where your brain and your entire nervous system randomly circled back to your default settings. "so what are you gonna eat, baby?" chan asks with a cheerful soft tone, glancing over the menu and then back at you.

today's a good day. you haven't been too overwhelmed with work, nothing out of the ordinary happened. so naturally, a pinch of guilt somewhere deep in your guts makes you feel like a bother to be around, and today — for no good reason.

"are you okay?" he notices your slightly spaced out gaze when you're trying to read the menu but not really reading, more like frowning and getting nervous.

"yeah.. no. no, i don't know," you murmur barely audibly, losing your focus for the tenth time in a span of the last five minutes. brain fog takes over, making your vision blurrier than normal and your thinking all floaty and hazy. as if you're looking at the world through dirty lenses, but also the lights are too bright and your surroundings are loud.

"i dunno, i just..." can't even speak for myself today and choose a meal and say it out loud because suddenly everything is embarrassing and difficult.

chris looks slightly worried because you might be in pain or feeling unwell, but nothing hurts except your pride. because you're a big girl, you have been for years, and now you want to cry on the spot because you can't choose between pasta and soup all of a sudden. it makes you feel even more stupid.

"can you please choose and order for me today? my brain just can't," you try to explain, visibly stressed and overwhelmed by a simple mundane task, "i want somethin' warm and filling," you specify to make it easier for chan.

he doesn't make a big deal out of it, just nods and meets you with a gentle 'course, baby. he then talks to the waiter and makes sure they don't ask you anything which feels like a relief. sometimes it's nice to feel invisible, especially in a vulnerable state.

after the horrifying deed is over with, chris leans in a little closer to be able to speak in a softer, quieter voice.

"d'you wanna just have dinner in silence and head home?" he asks while massaging your palm with his fingers soothingly, so calm and nonchalant as if you didn't just obsess over the smallest thing to the point of making yourself filled with shame and insecurity.

that's how chris always does it. by showing you that whatever it is that's bothering you is not a burden to him. he's got you. it's okay if you want or rather need him to do something for you. he's happy to be your strong shoulder to lean onto and not think about a single thing while he takes care of whatever it is at the time.

"yeah. or you can tell me about your day and stuff. i wanna know and i'm okay with listening. just not... responding, maybe?" you give him an awkward smile as he nods understandingly and plants a little kiss on the back of your hand. a modern gentleman and a caring lover.

somewhere in the middle of a story about how cubase was lagging and almost crashed mid producing session today, the waiter brings your meals. it's two pumpkin cream soups, some grilled and seasoned breads and a fresh greek salad to share.

oh, to be loved like this.

your stomach growls at the smell of food, and a bright proud smile is instantly painted over chan's features.

[a-hazbin-reader]

i just had a really cute idea- What about reader after the birth of her baby with Alastor feeling a bit insecure about strech marks ? how does Alastor make her feel loved?

FUCK I LOVE THIS

Alastor X Reader Headcanons

✅️Romantic

❌️Platonic

TW: Body issues, Suggestive?

Description: ☝️⬆️

At first, Alastor doesn't even notice the insecurities you're having over your body, too busy learning how to be a proper father

No amount of parenting books could prepare him for the overwhelming love he feels for his children

It takes so much effort for him to even put his children down and leave a room- you don't understand

Bedtime is hard for papa too

But little things about you start to tip him off that something has been wrong with you lately

At first, he blames it on lack of sleep, which is something you both are becoming familiar with

Or maybe you're not eating right, too busy looking out for your babies and the hotel

He just knows that you won't hardly let him touch you anymore, something he didn't realize he craved until he was suddenly deprived of it

You're sitting and feeding the babies? He wants to kiss and nuzzle at your neck because the sight is so cute

"Motherhood looks very good on you, darling~"

At first you're receptive to it, tilting your head and sighing happily until his fingers ghost over your stomach

"Actually, can you take over for me? I have to go-do something."

And he's left alone with his just as confused looking children

Then suddenly, there's baby food being thrown at his face and his babies are howling with joy

Lovely

Maybe you're stressed, being a new mother is difficult

So he resolves to take the babies off your hands for the day, something that you're grateful for

And when he manages to put his spawns down for a nap, he even draws you a bath, thinking you two could share it

It's a romantic one, bubbles and candles all around maybe even a flower or two

"Darling, there's a hot bath waiting for you and I if you're interested..?"

You're visibly stiff again, looking uncomfortable and shy like back when you first got together with him

"Could I just have the bath to myself..?"

It wasn't what he was planning, but he could never tell you no

But it is concerning to him when you lock the door behind you

You don't even change in front of him anymore, another little bit of intimacy and trust that he suddenly misses

Then he starts to notice that the mirror in your bedroom has been covered, and new creams have appeared in the bathroom and-

Oh

Carrying babies does tend to change one's body

He's seen what happened with your own but he never thought you would become insecure about it

So Alastor, being the good husband he is, resolves to remedy the situation between you two

He crawls into bed with you one night, waiting until you're nearly asleep to wrap his arms around you

You're jolted awake in an instant, feeling his chest against your back and his hands on your stomach

Touching and stroking your stretch marks

You go to pull away but his grip is firm, keeping you in place, voice light but genuine

"You're never not going to be my beautiful wife..."

You're so thankful for the darkness of the room, you don't want him to see the tears in your eyes or the marks on your stomach

Even though a small part of you knows he can see it anyways, it's less embarrassing for you

Damn these hormones of yours, your body still hasn't fully recovered from your pregnancy

And then he's rolling on top of you, kissing down your neck to your chest, then down to your stomach

His hands push up your pajamas to expose your skin to him, and you can tell that he doesn't need the light to see what's there

He stops you from covering the marks, kissing them instead and gazing at you with eyes full of warmth

"You were so proud of these before..."

You have to look away from him, overcome with emotions so strong that your voice comes out thick with it

"I'm not pregnant anymore."

"As if that makes you any less beautiful, these are just marks of our history together. I love them."

And he's kissing them again, moving back up to kiss you as gentle claws rub over each stretch mark and scar

You eventually can't help but melt into his touch, having missed him more than you realized

It's a good night between you two and you wake up feeling better than you have in awhile

It's still a slow going process accepting your new body, but Alastor is patient, eager to woo his wife all over again

It's almost like you two are back to the start of the relationship

You know that part of him only loves the marks so much because it's proof of what he did for you, how far he would go to make you happy

Also, because he loves you

And soon you start to love them too, associating them with your love for your family

Eventually you two are back to bathing together, changing together, being sickeningly affectionate behind closed doors

Not always behind closed doors

And when they do start to fade you almost miss them, rubbing over the marks in longing

Looking over at your husband playing with the children, a dangerous thought enters your mind

Maybe Alastor wouldn't mind another baby or two?

Maybe more

I love these asks so much ♥️

[mvrkieboo]

Old Bloodhounds

P32 | i am now a proud uchinaga 🫶🏻

You're sat beside the window, observing what was happening on the outside of the café (a girl walking her dog, a guy waiting to cross the road, a guy sitting on the bus stop bench) as you waited for the others to arrive. To your surprise, Aeri came in just right after you. You waved at her, pointing at the spot next to you. She lit up almost instantly, practically jogged to take the seat next to you.

She gave you a side hug, tucking her own head under your chin, making you giggle.

"I'm so glad you're opening up to us now, but if you feel like changing your mind, we won't put it against you." She said, placing a hand on your shoulder blade.

You let out a small smile.

"If I change my mind, I'll be losing Yangyang." You spoke quietly, and saw how her smile completely turned upside down.

"Yangyang's being unreasonable, Y/N. Seriously. Why would he put your friendship on the line like that? It's very—"

"Childish? Immature? Selfish? Self-centered? Trust me, I've said it all to him but it didn't get past his thick ass skull." Xiaojun's voice intercepted Aeri's, and both of you looked up to see both him and Yangyang were here now.

Yangyang didn't even bother to send him a dirty look and quickly took the seat across yours, with Xiaojun now designated to sit across Aeri. The waitress, finally seeing your table was now at 4 people, decided to come over with the menus to take your orders.

When the waitress left, you placed your arms on the table.

"Yangs."

"Y/N."

"Do you have anything to say to me? You know, just to get things out of the way first?" You smiled lopsidedly, not in that bad of a mood because you got to spend some time with Mark and Yuno yesterday, alongside Geonwoo and Woojin.

You had a blast introducing them to each other, mainly because Mark and Yuno's assumption of your neighbours being your sugar daddies nearly brought you to tears while Geonwoo and Woojin looked very apprehensive. They were basically your foster parents at one point in your life, when they had to fund your senior year in highschool. Like the cram school fees, bringing you along for a late back-to-school shopping, and Geonwoo's mom housing you before you got into college.

Sugar daddies? That's insulting.

And coincidentally, the sugar daddy misconception began with the very man before you—Liu Yangyang.

"I don't know—do you have anything to say to me first?"

Stubborn, capricious, prideful Yangyang.

With a very hard jab on the ribs, via Xiaojun's very sharp elbows, his composure slipped away with a pathetic yelp. Xiaojun put his face near Yangyang's, a pointer finger stabbing into Yangyang's shoulder while Xiaojun spoke through gritted teeth.

"You do have something to say, dipshit, and you're saying it first."

Yangyang continued groaning for a few seconds more before straightening his back.

"Alright, I'm sorry!—and this apology isn't forced, I swear. Berating you in the groupchat while you were handling the witch hunt was a dick move, and for this time I'll try to understand you if you decide to back out of this. After narrowly escaping being stabbed by Xiaojun last night, I finally understood that whatever it is you're trying to keep to yourself, it's obviously something very personal to you—but it's just...I just got really frustrated with the situation you were going through on your behalf and got insecure, so I lashed out on you." Yangyang rambled, but it wasn't fast paced and frenzied, it was slow and thought through, even though he didn't give you the chance to interrupt him.

You took hold of Yangyang's hand on the table.

"Yangyang, I'm sorry too, for making you feel insecure. I do consider you my close friend—sometimes I consider you a very annoying twin brother figure even. The things I've kept to myself aren't because I don't trust you, but it's something I haven't been able to move on yet. At least, not completely. I'm glad Xiaojun managed to beat you into understanding that."

Yangyang huffed out a scoff, "Oh, please. Xiaojun got to beat me yesterday because I didn't fight back. Otherwise—"

"Otherwise I could still beat your ass, motherfucker. Shut the fuck up." Xiaojun intercepted, and it had all four of you bursting out into laughter because of how much of a hardass he embodied for that line.

When all of you calmed down, you squeezed Yangyang's hand, pulling his attention.

"Okay, now that's out of the way, I guess I have to start explaining what exactly happened to me all those years ago."

"Y/N, if you're not ready—" Aeri placed her hand on your side, looking a little conflicted. She was glad that you were letting them in but also worried that you might've felt forced to do this.

"No, I'm ready. I am now."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"I'm sorry, if you felt like you were forced to share this. The fact that you haven't finished processing this trauma yet..." Yangyang spoke in a serious manner, looking ashamed with himself.

"It's okay, Yangyang. Honestly, I had to stop acting like it never happened every time I'm with you guys. Especially now that Yuno and Mark are back into my life. I was going to have to fully acknowledge it at one point." You shook your head at Yangyang's nth apology for today, flashing him a smile that was not at all forced.

You looked outside the window for a moment, not noticing the guy you saw sitting on the bus stop bench from earlier was still there, sitting there still.

"It's not okay. I accused the guys who practically adopted you when you had nobody else to be your sugar daddies. God, if they knew I was the one who started this sugar daddy bullshit, they'd hate me...I don't wanna make a bad impression on them..." He groaned, and Xiaojun and Aeri also looked ashamed, because they had fed into that bullshit alongside him.

You laughed at their faces, bewildered with Yangyang's words.

"A bad impression? Yangyang, you're not meeting my parents or something. Besides, they already know about you guys, I talk about you often when I'm with them."

"I am practically about to meet your parents. These dudes took you in, helped put you back on your feet, and are still watching over you even when you're all grown now. I can imagine shitting my pants if they're ever right in front of me right now." Yangyang groaned again, rubbing his hands on his face just imagining how muscular these dudes could be as former MMA athletes.

"They'd like all of you in an instant, guys. Don't worry too much." You cooed before consuming the last bite of your pasta.

prev | masterlist | next

A/N : have fun with this fluff y'all! it's not gonna last long! cus im getting bored of y/n being so at ease and happy and safe. need this bitch to suffer.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

• taglist • [CLOSED]

@spiderm444rk @morkiee @xiuriii @solvrse @neozon3nha @herebyaccident0 @injunnie-lemon @mystverse @dearmonamour @v-6893 @sehunniepot @bee-the-loser @nessaassen02 @luluvhs @sunghoonsgfreal @docilismo @neocrashed @soobinbunnie5 @cigarettesafterjae @dudekiss3r @kittydollzz @urlocalbeaner5 @polarisjisung @conwunder @wonupuppy @jae-n0 @413ktz @kimsaerom @meowtella @aerivrs @swanyvess @morkleesgirl @sthwaaberry @nominzn @grassbutneo @spicyryujin @koizekomi @sunflowerhae @markeroolee

[doumadono]

Hi Luvs!! This is an emergency request and I would like to ask can you do Bakugou x Gn! Reader where Bakugou comfort Reader who has low confidence and insecure??I'm requesting this cuz lately I've been having no confidence especially in my body and I always find something that makes me insecure like how broad my shoulders are and stuffs. I hope this isn't alot to ask♡♡

A boy who believed - Bakugo x gn!Reader

A/N: remember, your body is unique and beautiful just as it is. Everyone has features that make them feel insecure, but those same features are what make us unique and special

EMERGENCY REQS MASTERLIST - PART 2

The day had been relentlessly harsh, and as you sat in your dorm room at U.A. High School, the weight of your insecurities felt almost unbearable. You couldn’t escape the whirlwind of self-doubt that spiraled around your mind, attacking every aspect of your appearance and worth. The mirror seemed to taunt you, reflecting back the things you hated about yourself - your appearance, your perceived flaws, every detail that made you feel less than. "Why can't I just be confident?" you muttered to yourself, frustration and sadness mingling in your voice.

A sharp knock on your door snapped you out of your spiraling thoughts. You wiped away a stray tear and called out, "Come in."

Bakugo entered. his sharp eyes immediately took in your distressed state. "Oi, what’s going on with you? You've been acting off all goddamn day."

You tried to shrug it off, but Bakugo's piercing gaze made it hard. Too hard. "It's nothing, Katsuki. Just… having one of those days."

He didn't buy it for a second. Instead, he sat down beside you on your bed. "Cut the crap. I know something’s up. Tell me."

Taking a shaky breath, you looked down at your hands. "I just… I don’t feel good about myself. I hate how I look, I hate my broad shoulders, body, everything. I feel so insecure."

Bakugo's eyes softened as he reached out and gently tilted your chin up so you were looking at him. "Listen to me, and you listen good, nerd. You're amazing just the way you are. You think I give a damn about how broad your shoulders are? Hell no. You're strong, you're capable, and you're perfect to me, just the way you are."

A tear slipped down your cheek, and Bakugo wiped it away with a tenderness that contrasted with his usual grumpy nature. "But it's hard not to compare myself to others. I just don’t feel like I measure up."

He sighed deeply, then pulled you into a tight embrace, his arms wrapping around you protectively. "Screw what others think. You’re not here to measure up to anyone else. You’re here to be you, and that’s more than enough. I see you, all of you, and I wouldn’t change a damn thing."

You clung to him, feeling the tears flow freely now, a mixture of relief and lingering sadness. "But what if I can’t stop feeling this way?"

Katsuki pulled back slightly, just enough to look into your eyes, his expression fierce with determination. "Then I’ll be here every damn day to remind you how incredible you are. You’re strong, and not just physically. You’ve got a heart that cares so much, and that’s something to be proud of."

You sniffled, a small smile breaking through your tears. "Thanks, Katsuki. I really needed to hear that."

After some time, Bakugo insisted on dragging you to the common area where some of the other students were hanging out. "C'mon, we're not gonna sit in that room all night. Let's go."

You hesitated but followed him, his hand firmly holding yours. As you entered the common room, you felt a wave of anxiety wash over you. It was hard to maintain your composure.

But Bakugou squeezed your hand reassuringly and leaned in to whisper, "Remember what I said. You’re amazing just as you are."

The rest of the evening was spent surrounded by friends, laughter, and a sense of belonging. For the first time in a long while, you felt a flicker of confidence begin to take root, nurtured by the warmth and strength of the boy who believed in you more than you have ever believed in yourself.

[spencerreidsbookfairy]

apologize

yallllllllllllll if you want this to be a series pls lmk and alsooo should she forgive them and not write songs about them or should she??/

I just sat there.  Listening to them but i wasn't gonna bitch out and change my set, my set was awesome my 3 grammys tell me that 

Stage time

The crowd is filled with famous faces im more nervous about the team then the other celebs that surrounded me as i walk on stage they give a kind clap i decide to shake the team a little bit as i remember they have no idea i heard them 

‘’ ahh guys im so grateful to be here ’ as you guys know i made the song what was i made for, for the barbie movie which was amazing and i can talk about it for hours  

but i will try and make this quick i don’t wanna have you guys fall asleep mid song.’’

The team is in my direct eye of sight i see each and every one of their faces drop especially spencers 

The instrumental starts playing

I used to float, now I just fall down

I used to know but I'm not sure now

What I was made for

What was I made for?  

I take a short  pause during that pause i look at the team who still looks uneasy after my comment

Good

Takin' a drive, I was an ideal

Looked so alive, turns out I'm not real

Just something you paid for

What was I made for?

I think in my head “the songs almost over three more songs and you'll never have to see those assholes again.’’

Think I forgot how to be happy

Something I'm not, but something I can be

Something I wait for

Something I'm made for

Something I'm made for.

The audience claps, genuine claps the faces of happy celebs that enjoyed my performance buried the insecurity that my songs, my career wasn't good enough the team also claps i assume its because they don’t wanna look bitter.

“Today has been such a blessing thank you guys so much.’’

I leave the stage leaving to my dressing room

I knew Spencer would try to come and find me but i didn't think he'd bring the team too.

‘’Hey.’’ spencer says his team practically hiding behind him

“ hey’’ i say back what else can i say my mind i all over the place

‘’ you were outstanding out there everyone loved you, im proud’’

Hm. proud.

‘’Proud? Proud of me? Or your team for not falling asleep mid song.”

The room was so quiet you could hear a strand of hair drop.

‘’I would say it isn't what it sounded like but that wouldn't be true.”

His team is looking at each other figuring out if they should say something

The peppy girl garcia says something first, well she tries to

“ we owe you such-”

“No.”

“No?” she says voice shaky

“You didn't say anything wrong matter of fact you were the only one who defended me, not even he did” I say as I point a finger at Spencer who just looks down in shame and guilt.

“Listen y/n you gotta understand we just want  what's best for reid-”

“Exactly’’ jj chimes in “it's nothing personal were just overprotective” she says with a nervous giggle

“Obviously we were immature and went way too far to attack your profession’’ emily says breaking her silence

Now, i'm a sensitive person i can’t help but choke up while trying to stick up for myself against 5 people 

“i..’ ‘ you can hear me about to cry i look down so i don’t have to see their pity faces 

Where did my confidence go why can’t i talk without crying

“I just wanted to impress you guys with this performance you guys were so cool and nice in my eyes”

They all look so guilty when they can literally hear the cry in my throat.

‘’And you” i say while looking at spencer ‘’ you made me feel like you understood me, understood my music, why i make music.’’ 

“I do!” spencer tries to defend 

‘’ no, or else you would have DEFENDED me instead of bitching out and agreeing with your friends’’

I have never been in a room this quiet

“Anyway i wanna get home and shower its been a long day’’

I get up to walk away and spencer tries to stop me but i pull away and grab my stuff and leave

Prove them right. Make a song about them.

[slayfics]

Explosive Tendencies a slow but fanfic about the readers developing relationship with Katsuki Bakugo.

Chapter five: the test exercises are finally here.

Chapter links

With the written tests completed, the test exercise was finally commencing. It was revealed that the test exercise was for two students to go up against one of the U.A. teachers.

Katsuki had stormed off practically as soon as he was told his partner was Izuku. You watched as he walked off and Izuku's face fell. It was clear Izuku would have liked to strategize with him especially given that they were paired against All Might.

You weren't exactly shocked that even those circumstances didn't persuade Katsuki to talk to Izuku. The rest of the class seemed to just pass off Katsuki as hating Izuku and being a bully, which wasn't exactly wrong. However, it was painfully obvious to you that things ran even deeper than that.

Katsuki didn't just simply hate Izuku, there was something about Izuku that triggered Katsuki's own insecurities. As if Izuku being a good hero would make Katsuki less of one. You couldn't really understand why though. What was it about Izuku that triggered those insecurities so deeply with Katsuki?

Even more, it baffled you that Katsuki clearly had so much he wanted to prove to himself. He was already an amazing hero and you all had only been at U.A. for just a few months. Could he not see how everyone else looked at him in awe? Sure fear and disdain too, but the admiration and passion he sparked in everyone else by far outweighed the negatives.

After strategizing with your own partner you decided to walk over to check on him.

"How are you doing?" You asked, approaching Katsuki.

"How the hell do you think? Out of everyone I could have been paired with I get stuck with that fucking loser," He barked, still agitated at the pairing.

"Yeah, I figured you'd say something like that," You laughed.

"Then why even bother coming over to annoy me?" He asked.

You tried to ignore his signature attitude and get to the point before he stormed off again.

"Well, Aizawa said they picked these match-ups for various reasons. Including interpersonal relationships. I think there's a clear reason they paired you with Midoriya. They want to see if you both can push aside whatever this bad blood is for the sake of taking down a villain. As much as you hate it, imagine if you and Midoriya did have to work together on a mission as pros one day."

"Don't you think I figured that shit out already? I'm not dumb."

"Then what are you doing sitting here and not strategizing with him? You two have the toughest teacher," You responded.

"I'm going to show them that I don't need to work with that nerd ever. I'll take care of it myself," He grumbled.

"You'll take care of All Might... by yourself. I thought you just said you weren't dumb?" You replied, pushing out the rest of his patience.

"I said I'd handle it! Why the fuck are you here trying to help me anyway," He yelled and shoulder-checked you as he left. Even though he'd never admit it, he knew you were right, but it was going to take a beat down from All Might before he'd admit it to himself.

Inevitably, the match between the two boys and All Might had left them in bad condition. You couldn't help but feel a bit proud of Katsuki while watching the match. Even though it pained him he did work with Izuku in the test even letting him use one of his gauntlets. This of course only happened after he tried to take on All Might single-handedly with no success. However, you knew how hard that was for him and after seeing how fiercely he fought in the exercise you felt you had to visit him.

A few other students were crowded around Recovery Girl's door waiting to hear about others who had gotten hurt in their matches. You sat on the floor while you waited for Recovery Girl to come out and announce it was okay for everyone to come in and visit Katsuki and Izuku.

The hall was filled with echoing voices of students talking about their own matches mixed in with anxious comments about those who were hurt. You noticed quite a few students were here to see Izuku. Finally, Recover Girl came out announcing that Izuku was awake and well enough to have visitors, however, Katsuki was still knocked out and not likely to wake up for a while. At that news, you grabbed your stuff and left. A few classmates noticed your swift exit but didn't call after you, as they were too anxious to get in and talk to Izuku.

Some time later you decided to try and visit him again. This time you found he was awake and able to have visitors.

"You look like crap," You said walking next to his bed.

"You came here just to tell me that?"

"No, I came to say... that I'm proud of you. I know it wasn't easy for you to work as a team with Midoryia but you did it," You replied. Katsuki's face scrunched up and he seemed to wince internally at your comment.

"Shut the hell up I don't want to hear that shit from you. Just go back to saying I look like crap or get out," He said, turning his gaze from you to the ceiling.

You couldn't help but laugh. Even though he had done it and overcame his pride for just a bit to work with Izuku his resentment toward him was not letting up.

"Well, you do look like crap. All Might beat the shit out of you... but you weren't ever going to give up and that's pretty admirable. Glad you're feeling better," You said and left the room.

Katsuki’s eyes widened at your short-lived praise. It was praise that came with no judgment attached, unlike the feedback he had gotten since starting U.A. You didn’t tell him anything he did wrong or could have done differently. You didn’t berate him for not getting over his pride sooner or being too mean. You only focused on the positives and that wasn’t something he or anyone else around him did.

Tags: @unofficialmuilover @anon-mouse233 @maddietries

[jacevelaryonswife]

Golden and Silver, my new colors | Final

He doesn't know where the impulse of his next actions came from, but he felt he needed it. Maybe was the moment, maybe was the time, or maybe he wanted do that. He needed to break down the last and definitive barrier to be entirely yours.

∴pairing: Aemond Targaryen x Wife!reader

∴warnings and a note: fluffy and comfort, english is not my first language. See the note in the end.💙

Golden and Silver Masterlist

"How are you?" He asked quietly.

“I'm scared,” your confession was even lower. "Very aware of what is going to happen, or what can happen." You took a break before continuing. "This should be the most important moment of my life, from which I hear that it’s the destiny of all women, but I feel minimally prepared for it. What if I'm not a good mother? What if I can't love the baby? What if I die? What if I fail? Because everything will refer to my failure with duty," your voice trembled, "and I don't want that, I don't want to fail and I don't want to be unhappy either."

Over the months was it difficult not to deal with the subject in question. Your body was more different than ever, your back and feet hurt and your belly weighed like the seven hells. Although the development of the affective bond with Aemond has undermined part of the insecurity of pregnancy, the other part remained solid and constantly active. It was a real torture, mainly because you didn’t want to reveal to anyone what you were feeling, nor your mother, or the Queen (whose relationship with both of them had gotten back on track, but not as before) or your friends. But with him it was different, you learned that, you felt it. He needed to know and you wanted to say.

"Because I know what people will tell me to do, but that's not what I want to hear. I don't want to hear that childbirth is a woman's battlefield or that I must resign myself by fulfilling the only duty that was imposed on me. I don't want to hear this because I grew up knowing this, I grew up knowing that there was nothing else to expect, that this is all a woman can have, that my mission is to give birth to a son and it corrodes me all the time," you kept looking at the ceiling as you let the words escape. "And I transfer it to him, or her, to what's in my belly. I transfer such dissatisfaction to him, as if he were to blame, but I know he is not. I transferred my anger about you when we were fighting, and I transfer my frustration and fear about the future at this very moment. It's wrong, I know, but I'm terrified and angry and it seems impossible to individualize these feelings and forget them. Sometimes I didn't want to be pregnant."

“Sometimes I also wish you weren't pregnant,” he confessed. "Because I know what I should do, but I don't know how. I don't know what it's like to be a father, I don't know how to do it, and I don't like to fail, I don't want to fail with you, but I have no idea how to do this and I'm too proud to seek instructions, besides, who would I turn to? My father? No, he was Rhaenyra's father, not mine, never mine. What should I do?"

“I'm sorry about that, for everything you've been through,” you said as you held his hand on the bed, looking at him for the first time since the subject started.

"I'm also sorry for you, for everything you feel, for all righteousness, silence and lack of freedom," he didn't look at you when he confessed: "I'm scared too."

"I know." You purposely smoothed the injured part of his face, very close to the scar, leaving him tense and gaining a surprised and fearful look. “I know. Thank you for listening to me."

“Don't thank me for that,” he stared at you.

According to the Maesters, there were only a few weeks left for the baby in your belly to come into the world, maybe days, maybe weeks, and as it couldn’t be different, your lord father, the King and Hand were already talking excitedly to each other about the son that was to come. Fuck them all, you thought, and during the dinner with the family earlier you were very happy to oppose:

“A girl would make me happier,” you said calmly while drinking the sweet wine. It wasn’t a lie, although your greatest desire at that moment was to contradict them.

“It’s always expected that the first fruit of a young couple will be a healthy son, my lady,” Otto Hightower said in his stoic and falsely sympathetic feature.

"I know, but I mean my desire," you countered, not being intimidated by the negative look of most of the people who were at the table.

“My darling, don't say those things,” your mother tried to alleviate the situation with a nervous smile. "What will your husband find?"

Fortunately, Aemond and you were better than ever.

"It's my wife's wish, the fact doesn't bother me," was what he said before the matter was finalized.

Secretly, Queen Alicent and your lady mother whispered that at least you were in sync. And yes, you were very well.

That night, just like the others, you were lying side by side. It was difficult to find a position in which he could hug you, especially when he wanted so much to feel your body close, your sweet smell and the softness of your skin. He was living in your orbit in recent months, and he has never looked so good before. It was a little scary for Aemond to allow himself to love, to be loved, to be seen, to be touched and to be understood. He was used to the harshness of a job to be done, but emotional recognition made him restless and fragile.

"I hate having a weak point, a disadvantage or sensitivity that can be used against me. That's why it was difficult to lower the guard for you, I thought that if I bordered your image as inferior, as someone normal and not special it would be easier to keep me away, it was stupid, but effective, because it is almost agonizing to give in to the temptation to be loved. I know I've said this before, but I'm sorry for everything that happened before. I want to be a good father and a good husband to you."

“I know. I know,” you held his hand over yours and pulled her for a kiss on her palm. "Be by my side when the time comes."

"I didn't intend to be far away," he put his other hand on your belly and turned to face you. His beautiful wife. So beautiful, serene and scared. He hated not being able to heal your fear, but he wouldn't leave you again. "I promise."

“...Let me see you,” your voice was uncertain and anxious. What were you- "if it's not a problem."

Oh no.

The air was momentarily missed by Aemond and made you apprehensive, although still determined. You didn't want to see that, no, you didn't want to, how could you?

"You don't want to see that."

"I want to."

"No, you don’t."

"I want to, but only if you want to show it."

“You don't,” he said even more incisively.

“I want to, but only if you want to show it,” you said even softer.

"It's ugly," he breathed, "deformed," a frown formed quickly when he looked away.

"I don't care."

"You'll call when you see it, and I don't need it. I don't need you to feel disgusted or sorry for me."

You sighed and remained silent as you moved to be more seated than lying down, it was annoying that any movement was so tiring, even as simple as possible. But that was not enough to undermine your determination and when you held his chin, forcing him in the kindest way to look at you.

"I know you won't believe it, but I don't care, you're a very handsome man, Aemond, very charming and dashing, nothing in your appearance displeases me," you said, "in fact, I care that you can't see this, it bothers me actually, but I understand. What I ask is that you don’t transfer your insecurity to me, don’t think in advance that I will be afraid or disgusted by you."

“Everyone does. Even without having seen it and especially because they have seen it, everyone feels the same," was all he said.

Did you think he was handsome and dashing? It was a lie, wasn't it? It had to be. Almost no lady spent her time sighing for him, and yet... "do you really see beauty in me?"

"Of course I see it, and not just because you're my husband. Don't be suspicious of me."

"I just... I don't want to see the look on your face when you see myself completely," his voice was low and weak, contrasting with the previous determination in his tone.

You sighed again. "I'm sorry, we won't talk about it anymore."

“Thank you.”

“No need to thank you,” you held his hand again. "I love you, Aemond... you know that."

He sat on the bed and cradled your face with his other hand. “I know. I love you too."

It was the first time you said to each other, but not the last.

═════════════════════

When the call of the Grand Maester Orwyle reached the ears of the one-eyed Prince, a silvery shadow moved faster than ever through the corridors of the Palace. He was nervous like the seven hells and a burning tormented his skin from the inside out. It was an attitude that contradicted the advice of his grandfather and some sighted men of the King's court, but incredibly served to make his mother and father agree with the option he took to be by his side at the moment.

"Are you sure, my prince?" Orwyle inquired again when they both approached the room where it was about to happen. “You don't ne-“

"I do."

And then, he opened the door to meet you in the center of the bed with the hand-keepers around taking care of you. A greeting was briefly made to him as you stretched out your hand seeking support from your husband.

"How are you?" He asked.

“The worst hasn't started yet, but I'm nervous,” was quite evident in your voice.

“Everything will be fine, I'm here by your side."

"I know, but I'm scared."

“You don't have to be afraid, my lady, everything will be fine and a healthy baby will be born,” one of the servants said to reassure.

But it didn't work much, since an unmizable pain dominated your body in the next few moments. It was terribly painful and you cursed Aemond internally for condemning you to such a fate. You wouldn't do that again! Not "that", but this here! Fuck anyone who says the opposite. When the pain intensified, all you wanted was to scream for the seven hells and all the existing profanity but you were afraid of attracting a bad fate into your life.

"Strength, my lady, it's almost there, I need you to push more!"

Screw the superstitions.

“FUCKIN' HELLS!” You crushed his hand in a brutal squeeze, making him squeeze his jaw.

The feeling of being torn was agonizing, terrifying and unbearable, almost too much to deal with, until a sudden relief along with fatigue took over your body and a loud cry echoed through the room. Finally.

"It's a girl, my prince," Orwyle said, taking her to her father.

You took a deep breath and felt a sudden desire to have her in your arms. They could reject her for being a girl, but you would never do that. She was exactly what you wanted. “I want to hold her,” you said, hating having done the horrible job of giving birth so that Aemond would be the first to see your baby's face. The baby of you two, actually, but you still wanted to have her.

Your call was heard clearly, but the feeling of holding his daughter for the first time was indiscriminate to the one-eyed prince, keeping him motionless for long seconds. The small and scandalous thing fit perfectly into the clumsy lap shape that Aemond molded in his two arms, admiring her fixedly. What would he do now? How should I act? Will he be a decent father? He doesn't want to fail with you.

“Aemond,” you called him. You just wanted to see her.

Your little girl, your daughter. Heavens, that was terrifying and so pleasant at the same time, especially when you took her on your arms. You would raise her differently from the other girls, yes, you would do that, she would not wear a veil of righteousness and walls that force her to be unhappy. She can fly wherever she wants, after all her little girl has dragon blood.

"Have you ever thought of a name?"

Time seemed to stop when you had her in your arms, your little Naerys. "Yes, we already have a name."

You and your daughter were bathed and fed by the maids, then you were transported to your chambers to rest and be pampered by a proud and enchanted Aemond. He just wanted to have the little thing in his arms again, even if clumsy and afraid to hurt her. Your diet began to be accompanied by the Maesters since certain foods could affect the baby, you obviously consented and spent most of the day lying down while the Queen, the King and their parents pampered your little granddaughter. Honestly, you just wanted to sleep and have her by your side and Aemond's, and that's what you did throughout the day, but with a small part of your mind lit on an important point.

"Does it bother you that I gave you a daughter instead of a son?" It was disturbing to keep such a question to yourself and it was necessary to release it quickly.

Maybe Aemond didn't wait for the question or just didn't know what to answer, since his face closed a little and a stillness remained until he found words he deemed appropriate. "A child is a blessing, regardless of which genital he has."

It wasn't enough. "That's not what I asked."

"Why would it bother me?" He knew exactly why, but at that moment all he would like to get into was a fight, which was contradictory since a clear answer could solve your doubts.

"Because it disappoints all men and most women not having a sob in their first pregnancy, and I know you know that. So I'll ask once again, does that bother you, Aemond?" You didn't look at him as you asked, restricting yourself to paying attention to the soft sheet that covered your body.

"No, it doesn't bother. What about you?"

“Not at all. I wanted, in fact, a little girl. I hope we can create her well, teach her the things I have not been taught, instruct her in the right way, choose beautiful dresses together...”

"I had plans if I was a boy. I would instruct him to study, to train with me and I would not neglect him. A girl doesn't limit me to two of these things and doesn't make me less happy," he said.

“Queen Visenya was an excellent warrior, I wouldn't mind Naerys choosing this path if she wanted and had the opportunity,” you countered.

“A point outside the curve within our story,” he stressed as he flipped through another page of the book.

"It's still possible. If my memory does not fail me, Princess Alyssa, your grandmother, was also comfortable with the chain mail and swords, even much better than Prince Vaegon."

"Where do you want to go?"

"I want our daughter to be what she wants without the pressure of tradition undermining her life."

“It's not easy to fight against tradition,” he looked at you.

"Especially when one of the parties does not want to give in," your gaze also found his, more serious than before, "It is easy for you to be like this, you have always had the option to do everything you wanted just like Aegon, without the worry of having your name disgraced or put to a buzz. It's your privilege, one I've never had. You can go wherever you want and whenever you want, we don't, we don't have this option of choice besides being a bargaining chip and a belly to bear a child."

"Is that how you feel about me? An exchange currency?"

"I love you, Aemond, I love what we have, but I hate the lack of freedom I've had my whole life, I've always hated it. I don't want her to feel that."

"What if she wants to get married and have children? Won't it be her choice, but of tradition?" He questioned him.

"Then it will be her choice, not an imposition, she will have the power to decide that. I don't expect you to understand this, but it's my wish, I hope it's not ignored."

Who was he to escape the tradition? His life was based on it, his family (a part of it) was based on it. Why should he follow another path? You were right, it wasn’t easy to understand that being in his position, but the prince was not blind to what was expected of women in relation to duty. Still, what if your little Naerys didn't want to get married or have children? What if she wanted a life away from duty? He wouldn't force her, would he?

You definitely wouldn't go. No, not at all. That night, when she stopped crying, you took her in your lap and fed her with your milk hidden from the others. "You will be able to be everything you want, without restrictions, and I hope you are and enjoy your life. Fly as much as you want and be happy, use the opportunity that many of us don't have. I love your father, I truly love him and I just want to be by his side, but I wish I had seen more things and could come and go. Don't tell anyone that I was the one who gave these advices, please," you kissed her little head.

The next few days were strange to both of you, not because of the conversation you had earlier about Naerys, but because of the way she completely changed your routine. Aemond and you thought about her all day, every day, and they always wanted to have her around. Yes, the crying was annoying, mainly because you didn’t know what afflicted your baby so much, but everyone with more experience and knowledge about motherhood ensured that it was normal, "newborn children are like that, they’re still getting used to our world," said Lady Fell.

While the prince still remained staring at her for long minutes, standing in front of the crib with his single focused eye and with several layers of his sketched feelings. Fear and adoration were visible at times, but then a change in your husband's posture made you swear that that was the reason your daughter was crying, because he was so tense and intense.

“What are you thinking?" You asked low, in your usual position in bed.

“In her. She's perfect," Aemond replied without looking at you. "Just like you."

You looked at him fond of him. "Just like us." And then he looked at you in an enigmatic way, but with a vulnerability shown a few times. Something as simple as a compliment shouldn’t cause so many reactions on him, it was annoying to have a weakness in something that happened so many years ago but still torments him deeply. He hates feeling insecure about his appearance, although nothing has been said directly to him about it in all these years.

But the looks don’t lie, they never lied, aversion and fear were things he was forced to live with and even helped him build his defense walls. But these same walls prevented him from seeing the phenomenal, intelligent, shrewd and incredibly beautiful woman with whom he had become just a body and soul before the Septon. You would never accept him, Aemond believed that, even though he was the brother who studied history and philosophy and tamed the largest dragon in the world, you would never see beyond the damaged shell he had. How wrong he was. How wrong he was with you.

Moving away from Naerys' cradle, the prince walked to his privacy to put on his bedding and join you. He was ethereal with his loose and white top that left the beginning of his chest exposed. He crawled like a cat to your side and was almost nested to you.

"Do you really think I'm handsome?" He asked low, almost ashamed of his vulnerability.

"Of course I think. You’re so handsome Aemond, my handsome husband, my beautiful man, all mine," you caressed him on the face and hair, leaning to kiss him on the forehead. "I love you." He nested even more to you, hugging your body carefully, leaning his head on your neck to breathe your smell and feel your comfort. "You have many admirable qualities, in addition to your sincerity, loyalty and intelligence, your appearance is one of my favorite things. I love your sharp nose and perfect drawn lips, your beautiful blue eye and silver hair, everything about you is beautiful. Your body too. Especially the present between his legs." Yes, he was amazing down there.

He laughed against your neck and hugged you even more. He really needed that. "Thank you, my love, I truly appreciate it." He kissed your jaw and smelled your hair. "How are you?"

“Tired, but fine. I can't stop thinking about her."

“Me too. It's strange."

"A lot, but a good stranger."

“Indeed,” he said. “I’ve been thinking what you said, and I want her to be happy the way she chooses. I want share the world for you two, all the things you deserve to see. I love you and I love what we have.”

Your heart warmed up and you kiss his forehead with affection. “Thank you for that my love, I love you so deeply, I love we have too.”

He doesn't know where the impulse of his next actions came from, but he felt he needed it. Maybe was the moment, maybe was the time, or maybe he wanted do that. He needed to break down the last and definitive barrier to be entirely yours.

"I want to show you... my eye, the sapphire and the scar, but only if you want to see it."

Oh, how you waited for that…

“Yes. I want to see you.”

═════════════════════

End.

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Yes, I’d like to say a few words. When I started writing this story I thought it would be a one shot, since it has been many many since I concluded a fanfic with many chapters (so far). But I saw the potential of this idea and decided to embark, even with my terrifying laziness, procrastination and quick ease of getting sick of things. Much is due to the positive feedback I received from you in every kind comment and reblog, so thank you very very much to everyone who came here with me, much of this story is due to you and I am very grateful for that! To everyone who arrived here, see you soon and again, thank you very much for giving this idea a chance. 🤍💛🤍💛🤍💛🤍

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Taglist: @immyowndefender @arcielee @malfoytargaryen @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed @fan-goddess @dark-night-sky-99 @siriusdumblittlepuppy @let-love-bleeds-red @sassysaxsolo @cicaspair418 @yentroucnagol @mefools @risefallrise @auratiqs @glitterandgoldfinds @bellaisasleep @plzletmedaydream @padfooteyes @bellameshipper @zillahvathek @schniiipsel @little-duck @dc-marvel-girl96 @nina2697 @kaemond-zafiro @the-hufflebird-girl @panagiasikelia @whatsonthemirror @namgification @minttea07 @crazymusicgirl104 @sahvlren @aemonds-fire @partypoison00 @glame @rominaarcadiaa @theekinslayer @hb8301 @jennifer0305 @batmans-love

[slvt4em1lyprenti2s]

You don’t have to thank me

Originally published on my wattpad: slvt4em1lyprenti2s

Summary: Emily is feeling a little insecure so reader comforts her.

Word Count: 1.1k

Fluff

Pairings: Emily Prentiss x fem!reader

!NOT PROOFREAD!

You and Emily are dating in secret (even though the team has basically figured it out)

Reader pov:

Today we had the bitchiest little boy in custody. Well, he wasn't a little boy, he was a fully grown man who needs to learn some basic manners and how to act his age. 

He was caught red handed - literally - we caught him mid-stabbing the victim (who thankfully we saved) with blood all over his hand. And yet he still denied he did anything. 

I'm going to smack his smug little face into the wall.

"Hey you okay over there?" I hear Derek say to me that snaps me out of my fantasies of beating the crap outta this guy.

"Yeah. I'm fine, this guy is just pissing me off. Classic misogynist just like we profiled but goddamn. I didn't think anyone could be this bad." I let out an exasperated sigh as Morgan sat down in the chair next to me.

"You know, I've seen you deal with much bigger dickheads than this guy, and you've been totally fine. You know what I think has gotten under your skin so much?" He smirks lightly as he's talking which makes me hesitant to ask what. 

"What? Please do enlighten me." I say trying to stop myself from rolling me eyes at the shit-eating grin he has on his face.

"I think it's because he insulted your little girlfriend." I blush at the mention of Emily and he picks up on it instantly.

"I knew it! Hey, I'm not judging but, I think it may have gotten under her skin too so, go find her! Make her happy." He says with this time a genuine smile on his face as I stand up.

"Just not too happy." There it is. He's back.

"Ha, ha. Will do, but really. Thanks for letting me know." I reply as I walk away.

While I was walking I got held up in my thoughts a bit. Had that dig about her hair really got to her? I mean not that she's not allowed to be vulnerable but, I thought she loved it? Is she not happy with it? 

I'm snapped out of my thoughts as I've reached the meeting room she's in. As if on autopilot I close the door behind me as I step in and walk over and sit on the chair next to her. 

"Hi honey." She mumbles without even looking up, already knowing it was me. She was looking over the case file but, I could tell her head was somewhere else.

"Hey, how are you doing?" I was trying not to push her too much but I need to be able to help her if she is upset so before she could answer I continued. "Morgan told me you were a bit upset, you know, about what the UnSub said. If you are, which you shouldn't be because he's an arse, I just want to let you know that you are absolutely stunning my love and nothing can ever, and will never change that okay?" By this point she's turned her chair so our knees are interlinked and I've grasped her hands as she looks me in the eyes. 

"I'm uhm- I'm not okay." she murmured tearily. I could see the older woman fighting back the tears threatening to spill and my heart breaks. How could someone so incredible, in every aspect of their life, feel so down about themselves? 

"That's okay love, I'm proud of you for admitting that." I smile and squeeze her hands signalling for her to continue explaining why she's upset. 

"The things he said, about my hair and looking old. They really got to me and I don't know why. I just- in all honesty I've never been sure about my decision to stop dying my hair. I mean I don't regret as such I just wish I didn't look so old. I feel like I look like a little old lady and most of all, it's made me think I don't deserve to be with you. You're quite a bit younger than me and you're gorgeous and, me? I'm none of that. So what he said today, just solidified those feeling." By the time she had finished I was wiping the last of her tears off of her cheeks. My heart aches for her and I wished she could see herself the way I see her.

"Sweetheart, please listen to me carefully when I say this. You are the most beautiful woman I know, and you do not look old, you look sexy and trust me, everyone thinks so. You're absolutely stunning em and I honestly wish you could see that. Nothing that twat said today is true, so don't listen to those thoughts saying you're not beautiful or not worthy because you are my love. Please believe me when I say it, let it go in one ear and out the other okay? And if anything, I don't deserve to be with you. You're the most precious person I've ever known and that fact I get to be your girlfriend is the best thing that's ever happened to me. You know what I need and when I need it, you know what I like and what I don't, and you love with your whole heart and Emily, you'll always be my girl no matter what okay?" As I finished my speech she instantly pulled me into a kiss. 

It was slow and sensual, we poured all the emotions we had built up over that day into that kiss but most importantly, it showed me that she believed me. That she loves me and I love her, more than anything in this world.

As we pulled apart my hand was still on her cheek, my thumb caressing her cheekbone. We just sat there for a bit, looking at each other and basking in the other presence before she gently pulled me into a hug.

It was like it was two puzzle pieces slotting together. Her embrace was so comforting and I always feel safe whenever I'm in her arms. 

I pull away and look her in the eye.

"C'mon, let's pack up and get on the jet as soon as we can so we can go home." I say as I take her hand and pull her to her feet after au stand up.

 She presses a soft kiss to my lips before she pulls away and looks me deep in the eyes.

"Love?" She speak softly.

"Yes?" I say.

"Thank you, I love you so much. I don't know what I would do without you." she replied, her voice barely above a whisper.

"You don't have to thank me honey, it's what I'm here for. I love you too."

[marchsfreakshow]

Comforting A Murder [James Patrick March]

Hurt/Comfort // Smut. (I guess?)

Well you did it. You finally murdered someone, but right in the middle of a mess James wants to clean up. You attempt to comfort eachother...

18+ MINORS DNI!

Warnings: dub-con, PnV, quick fuck?, James being James.

Brb inspiring this off of ep.9 and 10. Had no ideas anymore so I figured basing this off an episode or two would help me write this.

No one's perspective

⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷

Oh, your pretty red dress. Ruined by the darkness of fresh blood. Arms and legs decorated by splashes of someone's else liquid soul. A beautiful decorated purple gun, turned black, dripping. Eyes widened; scared, confused, joy? Your mind racing with thoughts of what others would think.

Others? Each ghost more insane than the last? They didn't care. Most, happy by your calling. Liz, your best friend, daring you to talk to someone. "Talking to James will do good my dear. I understand he is in love with the countess still, but you know he takes interest in you as well."

"Sure.." A shaky word left your brain as you stood straight, gripping onto the used gun like it was a dying breath. "But... Jesus Liz, he's so... intimidating."

"Only if you don't talk to him." She stated. You took a deep breath and a step back, staring at the now decomposing lady that you laid bare. Flesh, body and soul ripped down the middle after a shot in the head. "A wonderful killing. Just like you." Liz was never too interested in the killing around the Cortez, but the way you killed... invigorating.

" 'suppose." You undressed as quickly as you killed, picking up a purple dress. The same shape, size and glimmer as the one you had murdered in. Your body still dripping in red.

"go like that. Go and find him right now."

"like this? No. Liz no! I can't. I have to wash myself. And my gun."

She shook her head and took a small drag of her cigarette. "No. Go find him. Now."

After a long silence, you took a deep and long breath, debating whether or not you should find the prolific killer. So you agreed. Walking out of the room and leaving the open torso to bleed dry, Liz watched, maybe silently judging you. You could never tell. The still image ran in your head as you walked. The heart slowing down, and the stomach just sat there, begging to be opened so the acid could dissolve everything else.

"...James." You saw him standing there, looking bewildered. He had been slapped, in front of an open hallway. An open hallway? Why on earth...? But you whispered his name as you took a step closer, transferring your gun from one hand to the other. "James.." you cleared your throat, looking down to the ground, feeling insecure. The killer looked at you, and smiled, taking his hand off his face.

"Ah, love. You look...ravishing, and a gun? My." He started, his smirk coming back to him. Nervous and worried, a blush appeared, and your hands were shaky again. The gun was still coloured darkly, leaving little trails of blood behind you. If there was any more blood on you, you would look like Carrie, an icon to you and your deranged but silent mind. "May I ask, your kill you have come back from?"

"a lady. Insulted my dress. Shot her head, then...ripped her torso. Neck to crotch." You admitted, looking everywhere but in his eyes. Another step towards you. He took your hand and looked lovingly at the gun.

"I'm so proud my dear." A teacher, smiling widely at his student, blood smearing itself over both your hands. You stared at his hands. Such precious jewels, covered in a dark thick liquid, a gun being shared between two. A small gulp and another deep breath. "What are you nervous about?" He asked as you looked up to the open hallway, a looming darkness. It scared you, but you never showed it. You wanted to impress James, being scared would annoy him.

Oh just how wrong you were. James could tell you were scared about what could have been lurking in the hallway. What a wonderful thing to use to his advantage. "This hallway is empty my darling. Nothing exists here." He simply stated. Innocently looking back up to him and seeming like you didn't understand anything he was saying. Like you didn't believe him. "Go on. Walk in. You have your dear gun, use it if need to." Absolutely not.

But a cold hand on your back, pushing you in. It left a faint handprint on you, and James noticed, letting out a small chuckle. It rang through the looming hallway, making you shake more. Holding the gun in front of you, worriedly looking around. Then a shot. You shot something. You think. Maybe? But you turned and ran. Ran into James' chest, even if he didn't wrap his arms around you as you secretly hoped he would. "You found something?"

"I think...I think so?" Your voice was hurried, and resting your head on his chest.

"Come dear. Let's take you away from this." He placed a dead hand on the small of your back, still bloody. The blood on you was decently dried now, feeling unable to wash it off. Eyes always straight and front as you both walked. Meeting anyone's eyes would increase your guilt about the murder. Such a beautiful but meaningless kill in James' mind. Killing someone for insulting your pretty red dress? Insanity.

James' room appeared before you, and you were led into it. Cold but comforting. A room you had wanted to go into. Forever. Everything interested you. Mindlessly, you started to wander around. Leaving gentle touches over every surface. The interest you two had with each other, coming to light. Your wonder and innocence, lit up when you walked around. Going in circles, your hand loosening around the firearm you held so dear. A beautiful thing, all based on your personality. James picked it up as you stepped in another circle, staring out of the window.

Ah, the open world. Nothing you missed. Bullied for the way you worked, and how you carried yourself. You left the daylight alone and stayed in the Cortez. Liz and Iris helping you with anything you need from the open world. "Dear. You are lost again." James murmured, standing behind you. A breath? Maybe? By the crook of your neck. "Ah yes, the life outside of this hotel. You should not worry about it, my dear. You are here now. You are here forever, murdering just because?"

Words that left him, and made you shiver. "But, I want the life again."

"I understand darling, but you must understand that this hotel can offer you more. Offer you something you could not find outside." A hand, gripping the front of your neck, thick fingers finding a vein and pressing on it, hard. "The people here are dangerous, wonderful. Full of deprived attraction." A hitch in your breath as the pressure got harder and harder. The stopping of your breath and its effects on James were pressed against your back. Was he really getting hard at this? Really? Okay...

"James..." All you did was lean against him, your neck open to him again, so many possibilities, and so many things he could do to you. A low groan, maybe a snarl leaving him. His free hand exploring your side, gripping at the dress fabric and feeling the dried blood on you. Every touch felt odd like you shouldn't be enjoying it so much. But your love for James, and the way your need for him manifested as killing for him. Innocents who did nothing to you but make a snarky comment, a little joke. Why was he so irresistible to you? A killer who died nearly 100 years ago, who loves murder, fine absthine, and his students.

Wandering hands trailing down your back, pulling down the zipper. The purple fabric fell swiftly off you, pooling around your flats and the blood-covered legs of yours. All this talk and touch of murder, blood, opening someone up, it was nothing but erotica turned real to him. Such a need for someone he did not know too well. Who was he to deny such a gift? Deny the chance to make someone feel something other than rage and upset.

Such moveable skin in front of him, the way he touched and practically groped you, making you feel mindless already. Your head, silently thrown back onto James' shoulder, feeling every touch he gave. The way he gripped onto your hips, such a need and desire in him. You practically threw yourself onto the bed, but sat on your knees politely. Even when a feeling of warmth spread through you, nerves were still there and you never wanted to upset your dear so. Shy, doe eyes watching a ghost undress. A quick coyote, readying himself to catch the doe it craved.

Silence in your voices, but catching breaths, underwear ripped off of you. You were being pulled up from your knees and pushed down onto all fours. He fucked like you were going away that night. Barely any time to catch your breath as he kept going.

Faster.

Harder.

Fucking you like the world was ending. Your moans; loud, unfiltered, they could be heard anywhere in the Cortez. His were reserved but animalistic in nature, never giving you a break. You screamed his name, as he yelled yours. Bruises were appearing on your neck, hips and thighs.

When had the dam been broken? You wondered as you cleaned yourself up, starting to sit up. Looking over to your side, James was half-dressed already. "I will admit my darling, that blood drying itself on you truly is enchanting." He nonchalantly mentioned, walking over to where you sat. A little hum in response, looking to the side where James was not. The ghost pulled your face towards him and left a kiss on your wanting lips. Pushing yourself forward to try and kiss him again, only to be denied.

Only to be denied as he picked up that purple gun you adored.

Only to be denied as he reloaded it.

Only to be denied as he aimed it at your worrying face.

BANG.

Only to be denied one last breath, one that you could've kissed him again with.

⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷

Tag: @babygorewhore @taintandviolent @coentinim @bluerthanvelvet444 @nahoyasboyfriend @slutforgarlogan @slvt4jamesmarch @tatelangdonsweater @feefymo @fear-is-truth

[tinytinyblogs]

Skz Soft Hours: Seungmin

He is deeply in love with you and his only wish is to spend the rest of his life with you.

Stray kids masterlist here

Seungmin's voice danced on your ears as he said, "I love you so much, you know that, right?" His voice was like silk, the most beautiful sound you had ever heard. It made your heart race every time. "I will always love you, Y/N," he continued, his voice filled with emotion. It was clear that he had thought long and hard about what he wanted to say. Seungmin wasn't the type of person to be overly vocal about his feelings, but his actions spoke louder than words. He always went out of his way to make you happy, and he was always there for you when you needed him. He was filled with worries, deep in his heart. He wanted to share them with you, the only person in the world he felt comfortable with and believed in.

"Sometimes I wonder if I make you happy enough," he said, his voice trailing off. "I want to be the one you always need in your life, but I'm not perfect." He paused, fiddling with your fingers as he tried to find the right words. Seungmin is so proud to have you in his life. He feels like he has found a precious gem, and he can't even explain how happy he is every day. "I've never said this before, but I'm so happy to have you in my life, Y/N," he says. The moment he laid his eyes on you, the world stopped. He didn't even care about the rain falling around him, even though he should have been running to avoid it. He doesn't want to be overdramatic, but you make him feel things he never knew he could feel. He never thought it possible for his heart to melt the way it does when he's with you.

"I can't imagine my life without you," he continues. "You're the main reason I keep going and keep being happy." You make him fall harder for you every day, and he doesn't know what else to say. You're just too perfect for him. You showed him the world through your eyes, and it was beautiful. He used to think he was better off alone, wandering aimlessly without direction. But you showed him the way, a path of flowers that he now walks with you by his side. You turned his darkness into sunshine, pulled him out of the depths of despair, and loved him unconditionally.

"Sometimes I feel so insecure," he says. "I think I'm not good enough for someone like you. I want to be the best for you. And I'm so mad at myself for not telling you how much I love you, when you deserve so much more." Seungmin is not good at romance. He can't even express his own feelings, so when you're around, he feels lost. "Even when I don't understand myself, you always do. You love me unconditionally, and you accept me for who I am, flaws and all. I love you so much for that." He's learning about romance little by little, like he's studying for an exam. He's trying to learn everything about you: what you love, hate, and want.

He's even trying to like the things you like, even if they're not his cup of tea, just so he can have conversations with you and keep you interested. He panics when he sees you cry, and he'll try to make jokes, even if they're not funny. But when you laugh, he feels relieved. He told his mom that he met someone perfect for him, and he bragged about you to his whole family. He told them that having you in his life makes him happier than anything else. "I've been thinking a lot about the future lately," Seungmin said, catching himself staring at you again.

He had always loved watching you, but lately, it had been different. He loved the way you were around him, breathing the same air, sharing the same space, doing the things you both loved. It made him wonder what it would be like if you were in his future, growing old with him. "And seeing you smile so beautifully every day, hearing you talk, feeling your warmth... it made me realize." If Seungmin could hold your hand through everything life throws his way, he would never be afraid of the future. You make him stronger than he ever thought possible.

He says, "I want you. I want us to be together until the end of time." He smiles as he says these sweet words, and the thought of you two having the happy ending you both dream of makes his heart soar. He prays for you every day, because you are his whole world. He never wants to lose you, because losing you would be like losing the game of life. Seungmin is building a castle for you and him, a place where you can be safe from anything in the world that doesn't deserve you. He would do anything for you.

"Have you thought about that?" he asks, placing a kiss on your soft lips. His words are sincere, coming from the depths of his heart. He is asking you to be a part of his life officially. "Don't you feel the same way?" Nothing in the world mattered more to Seungmin than you. He couldn't stop thinking about you. You were one of a kind, and he wanted you more and more each day. His eyes filled with tears as he spoke to you in a soft monologue that you never expected to hear. "If you feel the same way," he said, "I promise to make you the happiest person in the world."

Just as Seungmin is the one you've always wished for, you feel just as lucky to have him in your life. His care, love, words, and touch color your world in ways he never imagined. In his arms, you feel safe, warm, and happy. He gives you the kind of happiness that you deserve, and that no one else can give you. "If you feel the same way, let's build our family together," he says. "Let's get married and grow old together." There is no other answer you can give, no other choice you would make. Living with him forever is the best thing that could ever happen to you.

💬I'm just sweating through my eyes, okay?

[rozeliyawashereyall]

Guys I'm back (not really)!!! I missed you all so much and- oh wow I missed too much, huh.

I'll start with saying that I'm doing okay now! My mental health has improved a lot and I'm very proud of myself :) however! I'm still on break, I just came here to address a few things.

Now to what's happening in the bug army—and lemme just say jeez. I did not expect to come back to drama, especially with how small this sub fandom is.

English isn't my best language so hopefully I'm not being rude saying these-

Most of my information came from @audioroleplayconfessions and a few friends of mine

-Now~ about the discord server. A lot has happened and I won't be getting into too much detail about it. One or two of our members weren't in the best place and sought out help from me and a few others, they're both okay now and are getting proper help ^^

None of us are exactly okay in the head in the army, I don't mean "insane" I mean "just need a safe environment to vent". And that's exactly why the discord was made! But unfortunately it went past an after school comfort club and more of a therapy session.

Thankfully! Me and the mods are being especially stricter on the rules and are actively enforcing them better!

This is still our first time making a server so of course we aren't the best at it, but we're all trying! I do hope that anon can feel safe there again.

that's all I'll say about it, so let's close this topic already.

-The favoritism! Now sure what to say on this one tbh, just that no one owes you anything! If you're so insecure that you have to seek validation from strangers online—and having panic attacks that you aren't being noticed, maybe the problem is with you. Most of our amazing artists that get slightly more recognition is because they're one of the first batch of bugs to appear in this fandom!

It honestly just feels like you're putting the creators on a special pedestal, above everyone—while they're all very talented and incredible people, they're still human. Just like you, just like me. They try to interact with everyone they can and it's clear every person helping with the gator boys series is trying their damn best.

I genuinely do hope you're doing okay now though :(

I'm always here to help and support you if you need it! But now, it's best if you take some time off to focus on yourself! Take a mental health break, it'll do wonders to you, I would know! I'm taking one now ^^

-that one anon ask that was very clearly about me but they didn't say it.

I'm not too fussed up about it, just a little sad I made someone feel that way

I'm not sure what I did that gave you the impression of "annoying" and "pretentious" of me, but I'm really sorry that I did anyways. I do hope you'll still consider joining our little army, and so we too can be friends! I'm sure you're a great person!

Do know I'll always greet you and new members with open arms! <3

Oh and thank you so much to the people in the reblogs that defended me—giving you all the biggest digital hug ever

-and lastly~ I really, really hope none of us gave you a bad impression of us or the VAs! Everyone here is a wonderful person! From talented to kind to fun! Gator boys is an awesome series and we all just wanted to create a small group to fangirl and boy about it X3 I'll admit things have gotten a bit too far, but me and the founders are trying our best to keep everything under control.

Now, I'm not too good with words—but, I'm very sorry about everything that happened these few days, but I promise everything will be okay from now on! We'll all make sure of it!

Gonna be putting this post in my pinned for a week just in case-

[lavender--fairy]

hi, just wanna share a "success story." i'm choosing to stay anonymous because i don't want to be bombarded with questions, because the asker can find answers within themselves.

i'll just cut straight to the chase. throughout high school, especially when we were online during the pandemic, i would cheat on all my exams. i'd say this started mid 8th grade until mid 11th grade. mind you, it wasn't threshold based, so i wasn't really harming anyone. me cheating basically stopped the class average from dropping down 70% lol.

the act of me cheating alone reveals many things; i was unconfident in myself, insecure, and cared what other people thought of me.

11th grade is where people here start to get really anxious. pulling all nighters and getting caffiene addictions. but i was lazing around, and did what i always did. of course, online exams don't last forever, especially not when it comes to an international exam. it really only hit me months before the real tests that cheating wasn't gonna get me anywhere.

how was i supposed to do these exams? ones that people take at least two years to prepare for? that people study their asses off for? with all the high expectations i falsely gained from my peers and parents, i knew that if i failed these tests, not only would i be ashamed, but everyone would begin to doubt me and inevitably find out about my cheating habits. and i didn't want that to happen.

i did everything i could. i tried to study, but i was inefficient because i basically never opened a book on my own before that, then i tried to get tuition, which only worked to some extent. the highest i have everr gotten on a practice paper was a B, and it was a low one.

i took eight subjects. most people here take 6/7, but i didn't wanna drop one because i didn't want to feel the "shame." again, i really cared about what others thought of me.

so, at this point, i thought. well, i'm screwed.

then i came across subliminals while looking up focus music, which lead me to manifestion -> law of assumption -> neville goddard -> the 4D -> the inner man.

started to implement the law. thought i'd pass all my exams because hell, why not? i persisted that i was just gonna pass because i said so.

i gave the inner man good grades because i could. i saw a good report card in my head because i could. i imagined myself happy on results day. despite the fact that i was underprepared by a mile. why? because i could.

i got straight A's for my exams and got an outstanding reward. this truly revealed to me the power of the law, because just a month back, i was pulling my hair out and stressing like crazy. i'm not proud of my old habits. but with the law, i was able to live the lazy life of my dreams (lol) and still be awarded with praise, smiles and trophies.

wanted to share this story because i feel like knowing the law is so important. it's so easy too. all you have to do is give it to yourself, the inner man, the true self.

don't stress about getting those grades, getting that girl, that dream body, clear skin. don't stress about getting. just give it to yourself, because you can.

hope this helps someone out there realise something :)

heyy butterbean!! This is amazingg thank you so much <3

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for yelling at my mom because of incense?💭

( emoji so I can recognise my submission and this is a hella long post so be warned)

So I (16F) really hate smoke. And I mean beyond the regular hate, I mean like the moment I smell smoke I instantly become very, very angry. I'm not sure why exactly, I suspect it might be because I'm on the autism spectrum but I haven't been officially diagnosed so take this with a grain of salt. Also just to clarify, I have no lung issues which would cause me to be extra effected by smoke, it's almost entirely psychological.

My mom (50F) got into this whole spiritual circle stuff about a year ago and does meditation thingies. Involves a lot of rituals, crystals and incense. Not entirely sure the exact reason why but the important thing is this means she is lighting incense almost everyday. As a result, on most days the house smells like smoke. I have told her quite a few times to ventilate properly if she's going to use it but I feel like every time I enter the main room of the house it smells like smoke. However I can manage this by simply shutting my door to avoid getting a lungful of smoke. No, the thing that pisses me off are her "cleansing sessions." This is where she goes through the house waving an incense stick everywhere to "purify the bad spirits." This means I have absolutely nowhere in the house to escape from the smoke and often get forced outside to escape. I have tolerated these "cleansing sessions" a few times but on the most recent one, it happened to be raining extremely heavily. This meant that I was stuck. In a house FILLED with the smell of smoke.

I tried to keep myself calm for a while by ventilating the smoke from under a blanket but even then I could still smell it and it made me raging mad. So I then proceeded to stomp up to my mom and yelled at her. I said some very nasty things which I'm not proud of saying. They were very personal insults mostly pertaining to how her beliefs were bullshit and about her insecurities. We had a shouting match over it which ended in her telling me to go back to my room.

Why I think I could be the asshole here is because:

A. I could have more clearly stated beforehand that I wanted her to stop cleansing my room or at the very least she needs to turn the aircon on when she burns incense.

B. She didn't really deserve the things I said to her. She's a sensitive person and I know it probably deeply hurt her even if she didn't act like it in the moment.

C. I didn't mention it earlier but I have a brother (17M) who has athsma. He has never had any problem breathing or any complaints about my mom burning incense. If anyone would be affected by this the most it would be him and yet he doesn't care. So I feel like I just really overreacted.

Why I think I might not be the asshole here is because:

A. I have asked her before that she ventilate the house properly when she does her meditations and yet every time I can smell it. Sometimes she wont even open the windows so I have to do it myself.

B. She knows how much I dislike the smell of smoke. I have said multiple times how I hate it and every time I have smelt it in the house I've been very obviously annoyed. There was even once incident where our neighbours were having a bonfire and I literally could not sleep in my room because I could smell smoke and had to sleep on the couch. Every time she's done one of these "spiritual cleansings" I have also made it abundantly clear how much I hate this but she doesn't seem to care because it usually forces me outside.

C. As before mentioned, my brother has athsma. While it may not seem like it bothers him I don't know what the long term consequences may be for his lungs. And for my lungs too! Like, I'm not an expert but I don't think regularly breathing in smoke is very good for you. She argues it's "real natural smoke" so it's fine and I told her she should try breathing near a wildfire to see how she liked "real natural smoke."

Anyways, with all these facts considered, random strangers on the internet, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[intellectual6666]

I have some things to talk about, which I felt and saw after I got my CBSE 10th results.

Everyone takes credit. Like relatives who for the whole year kept saying, "our children also gave boards, why are they (my parents) acting like it's such a big thing?", "they are showing as if only they have work and they are busy, we are useless na", came to say, "she is our daughter/granddaughter, that's why she excelled in her exams." I do have a lot of respect for them and yes, I love them a lot too and also you can take credits of it, due to their ashirvad I was able to excel in the exams but why act like they are "only" reason I got good marks in it ? I would like to give 50% credits to my parents and the rest to me and my God. There was also a time when my father was not able to give the monthly fees of my school for 3 months, but he managed to keep me in a English medium private school by working his ass off. My mother left her social life, didn't even go to ISKCON (her favourite place) so that she can keep her full attention on me. We went through so much financial issues in 2022 and 2023 (first half) but my parents didn't let my education sacrifice. I, didn't take any tuitions so that I do not put extra burden on them (another reason I didn't take tuition coz I prefer self study more than tuitions). Me, who got so stressed because of my class 10 boards that by the time my exams were near my mental health worsened. I was getting suicidal thoughts and got introduced to new health problems which still haunt me, hypertension and palpitation. But still, I worked hard, my closest friends helped me, my parents helped me and most importantly Krishna ji, Ganesh ji, Radharani ji and Mahadev helped me. My struggle was totally mine and no one fought the war inside me other than me. So before taking the whole credit, atleast for once one should think about the people who really worked hard.

Second, this comparison shit kills one inside. No, I didn't compare myself to anyone as my parents never taught me that nor they ever compared me to anyone. Basically me and my maternal uncle's daughter are really close. And she is quite average in her studies. But trust me she is an amazing dancer, singer and artist. I envy her because of the great acting skills she have. But according to that typical thoughts, her parents always compare her with me and try to demean her, on the thing that she is not much good in studies and I'm comparatively good in it. Her results came out some days ago, as she used to study in an ICSE school and to be honest, she did amazing. Getting such marks is not so easy in ICSE board. Yesterday her mother kept comparing her with me and made her feel insecure and bad. Like why ? What do you get by hurting a child ? Why the actual fuck can't you ever be satisfied with whatever she got ? Praise her, tell her she is amazing, bring some confidence in her instead of making her feel so insecure that she starts to kill her feelings for everyone. Please freaking stop that. My mother, as usual a boss lady, replied her so sassily that my sissy ran to her and hugged her for 15 minutes straight. All of my closest friends got above 90% and I got below it, but God my parents didn't think about that for even once. They kept praising me.

So this was a rant post and you can totally ignore it if you want. Sorry for writing such a long ass thing, I had a lot to burst out.

And also sorry if there's any spelling mistake.

Congratulations to all the 10thies and 12thies for acing your exams. Everyone did amazing. I'm proud of you.

[beevean]

A more fleshed out idea of how I would have ended the Lenector story in the most balanced way I can think of.

Lenore is Hector's prisoner, as per canon. He still treats her as nothing happened, like a good friend, but Lenore is sulking and angry and not even bothering to keep up the façade like Hector used to do in her position. It's unfair, after she treated him as her only confidant, and she couldn't care less, that's what the traitor gets. Hector thinks he should be happy, to have reversed the roles on her... but he isn't. Unlike Lenore, power over another person doesn't satisfy him. He can't help but see her as a depressed animal in a cage... much like he used to be.

He wanted to protect her, he really did, but only now he's seeing how much hurt he caused her. Much like she said she meant to do with the ring, although to this day he doesn't know if it was a lie or the truth. There is no joy in inflicting her the same fate she inflicted upon him, even if it comes from a place of well-meaning and not selfishness. He has seen what that kind of "eye for an eye" mentality brings to the world, and he wants none of it.

So, he finally takes a decision for himself, and repays the one debt he has with her. He helps her flee from the castle. He is, for the first time, showing empathy to a person and not an animal.

(I don't even think Isaac needs to be kept in the dark. Lenore on her own is harmless, nothing like Carmilla who became a danger to the world. Hector and Lenore are dangerous tools in the wrong hands, but they lack the ambition that makes them solid threats, as they are mostly concerned with feeling safe. If Isaac truly wants to do good to everyone, he has no reason to keep Lenore as a prisoner, not even to force her to work for him. Same for Hector, since the two might have "forgiven" each other, but they have no relationship whatsoever. Perhaps him heeding Hector's request could show more how compassionate he has truly grown.)

Lenore is confused as to why, and Hector more or less explains that he couldn't bear watching her drinking herself into a stupor. Lenore snaps, and yells at him that he has no right to feeling sorry for her after what he has done, after going behind her back, after ruining her life... and is promptly shot down by Hector flashing his mutilated hand. Every ounce of ire Lenore directs at Hector is actually directed at herself, and they both know it. She is deeply regretting everything she did for the sake of people that didn't even respect her, she is just too proud to apologize. And her pride, her insecurity, her need to be the one in control, was what prevented her from truly being the good person she wanted to be. The very reason Hector wasn't happy with her despite her best efforts, and destroyed her life.

She really thought something so paltry as a slave ring would tame the human spirit. She really thought humans, like vampires, would care more about safety than freedom. For a diplomat who set herself to bridge humankind and vampirekind, she let her basic instincts get the better of her.

"Why didn't you just kill me back then?" she yells, attacks, it feels so good to blame Hector rather than herself. "At least I wouldn't have known how little I matter to you!"

"I'm no longer that child," Hector responds. "I'm no longer the boy who believes to have the right to punish others. Besides, shouldn't you know the desire to spare someone's life no matter what?"

They had never breached that subject again, not after Lenore dismissed it in a fit of denial. It still weighs on her. He can no longer care.

"All this time," Hector says at last, "I expected an apology, but I think I don't need it anymore. As much as I don't need you anymore. I'm grateful for your efforts to protect me from your sisters' ire, so now I'll use them to live for myself. I'm sorry it had to be this way."

He holds no grudges anymore, and he has genuinely come to appreciate the real Lenore behind her masks and the way she took care of him during the previous six weeks, when the world would have chewed him and spit him out; but at the same time, he can't bear staying with her. She makes him too sad. It reminds him of how low he allowed himself to be brought for the sake of some scraps of love. She reminds him too much of a version of him he doesn't want to be. There are too many conflicting feelings in him. He can't help but think that, in another life, the two could have been genuine friends, if not more... but not this one. Too much baggage, too much shared misery. He is done with it. No more will he seek safety and love in other people, as if he wasn't strong enough. He deserves better.

Lenore doesn't know what to think anymore. She wants to die so badly, she is almost tempted to not hide herself from the sun: she can't concieve her existence as nothing more than a black hole, unworthy of living. She is nothing more than a disgusting monster doomed to spread misery to the world, she thinks, and she should die like one. She has nothing left, no allies, no home, and the one person she fell in love with is pulling away from her, and she can't bear being abandoned, and she completely understands why he's doing so. At the same time, however... Hector too has nothing left, and yet he wants to live. After everything he went through, after himself desiring death at Isaac's hand, he wants to experience real life, not survival like he has done since he was born. Lenore pretended to praise his strength when she was manipulating him, but now she has come to genuinely admire that trait. Can she, a vampire used to nothing but comfort, be as strong as a human being?

She wants to ask Hector if he thinks she's a good person. A glance at his mutilated hand answers her more than any word could. Lenore, all this time, had no idea what being "good" meant, she was only good at putting up a façade of gentleness, and she thought it was enough. All this time, she behaved like a vampire pretending to be human... so now, she will learn from the best human she has ever met. The best person. The only one who saw her as a person as well, behind her masks, behind her usefulness.

Even if Hector is now walking towards the dawn, with nothing but his resolution. For the first time, he will live for him, for himself.

They will never meet again, but in a twisted way, they gave each other what they needed to grow.