#i'm probably super late to the game but what a first experience

[the-modern-typewriter-aesthetic]

epic the musical !!!

guys

GUYS

[colebabey888]

A few DIY beauty secrets I began doing to elevate my "natural" look | IT GIRL DIARIES

something that I noticed over the years, when looking to enhance your natural beauty, there are 4 main points that build the first impression, hair, eyes, brows and lips..

I have naturally bushy brows that I used to manage with eyebrow gel, but it would start flaking during the day, which gave me the ickk. So, I began laminating them with a kid-friendly relaxer every two weeks (my eyebrows grow pretty fast, which is why I do it so often and i don't get them professionally done because i don't trust people with my brows lol).

I always tweeze my eyebrows instead of waxing them; they seem to grow back slower that way + it's easier to do, just grab a tweezer along with a pocket mirror and you can do it anywhere if you see a hair out of place. ( don't over do it though, i made this mistake and it went horribly, just keep them neat )

Get your lashes laminated !!! Natural lashes are so classy and I don't have to worry about putting on mascara or falsies. This I'd get done professionally though lmao, I would do this myself but I'm way to scared to be messing with anything chemically so close to my eyes, so it isn't necessarily a diy but still, get it done!

ALWAYS make sure your hair, eyes (lashes) and eyebrows are done! You don't have to have a silk press, falsies and freshly waxed brows 24/7 but make sure they're neat. These are the key features that attracts people's attention when youre speaking to them

I have tight 4b type hair, and I used to have to lay my edges with gel or edge control because of how fluffy they'd get when I wore my curls out, but it was super damaging from constantly pulling on them and having them laid down. So, I started relaxing my edges every 3-6 months. Now, all I use is a bit of hairspray to keep them tamed, and now it doesn't puff up even during workouts and it lasts my whole silk press. Yes, my curls are still thriving.

I do weekly deep conditioning, monthly hot oil treatments, routine trims, and always use a heat protectant and frizz control when doing silk presses to stretch them out and minimize heat application. ( my hair has grown so much, leave your hair alone and only feed it when it's hungry! )

you'll hear everyone talking about silk bonnets, but as someone who hates the feeling of having anything on their head or in their face, I always took it off unknowingly throughout the night and it defeated the purpose, so i got silk pillow cases instead, game changer! i don't wrap my hair as often anymore and i don't experience frizz anymore.

I apply a face mask every week depending on what my skin is lacking, whether it’s moisture or something else. It just keeps my face looking fresh and plump in between professional monthly facials.

I use a lip tint every third day. It makes makeup application easier, and it doesn’t wear off throughout the day so i don't have to re-apply lipstick continuously. It also gives my lips a bit more colour so now I just leave the house with a pretty gloss or plain lip balm.

I take zinc supplements religiously!

Vitamin C everyday, all day. Lemon wedge in my greentea for breakfast, orange for a lunchtime snack and a naartjie for a late night movie. My skin is glowinggg!

hair removal cream! this is so slept on, i no longer shave or wax, both of them have caused ingrowns for me and accentuate my strawberry legs. i use hair removal cream now and i don't think I'll ever go back! i use it probably every week or so depending on how much growth i have, it's so easy and mess free. apply it before you get in the shower and use an exfoliating glove to slide it off gently and continue with your normal wash routine. always apply tissue oil and moisturizer after! baby soft skin all day, everyday!

It's not much, but these small changes have completely transformed my overall look. i do them specifically for those actual no makeup days where i want to give my skin a break from makeup or where im working out but still want to look prettyyy and done up..it's like a wash and go except it's for your face lmao, anyways

mwah! xoxo, colebabey8.88

www.investingforbeginners/gumroad.com

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[ashwhowrites]

i love love love your writing and i have been waiting for your requests to be open!! can you please write a billy hargrove x reader story where he rejects her and then he regrets it and has to grovel?

Like she is super nice and friendly with everybody, and she can even get Billy to soften up to her. She's had a crush on Billy for the longest time like since he's arrives in Hawkins but he always is hooking up with somebody or flirting with somebody else. Then she notices that he's been alone for a couple of weeks and thinks this is her chance so she confesses to him and he lets her down gently because he doesn't feel the same (he so does but in his experience romance never lasts and he could never ever bear to lose her) and so she decides that having him as a friend is better than nothing.

But obviously she can't act the way she acted before and she starts distancing herself from him. No more grabbing his arm for security when the hallways are crowded. No more asking him for rides to and from school. No more chattering in his ear during lunch. Instead, she's doing those things with her best friend Steve or Eddie because they knew about her heartbreak and they're trying their best to be supportive.

And obviously he can tell right away that things are different and he's fighting the urge to shove Steve/Eddie away and take back his place next to you. He's trying to reach out and spend time with you and he doesn't care if he sounds desperate when he's doing so but she keeps blowing him off because she wants to get over him and she thinks he's just pitying her.

He finally snaps one night and sneaks into her room and tells her how he's been going crazy. She apologizes for being distant and says that she's moving on so that they can be friends. And Billy just says screw that and he doesn't care what he said before he just wants HER.

Sorry if this is a lot but I can't wait to read what you do with this!!!

I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻

Relationship guy

Y/N and Billy had a touchy friendship. From afar they looked to be a couple, with the way they held hands, hugged, kissed each other's cheeks, and the way Billy would do anything for her. She was the only person in the world Billy had a soft spot for, that had to mean something.

There wasn't much time when they were apart. Billy was at her house first thing in the morning, the door open as he waited. The way he leaned against his car made her heart race every time. Then they arrive at school, and as usual, everyone is watching. They moved around the school and when people got too rowdy, Y/N would latch herself to Billy's arm.

"I got you," he smiled as he threw his arm over her shoulder. It wasn't the first time and probably wouldn't be the last.

Lunch was Y/N's favorite part of the school day. Not only because of no class but because she got to talk to Billy non-stop for those few moments.

"Do you think you'll win today's game?" Y/N asked, crunching down on Billy's ignored apple.

Billy scoffed, stuffing his face. "Duh, I'm on the team."

Y/N laughed and nodded, "Fair point, and Steve too!"

"Oh yeah because he does a lot," Billy rolled his eyes.

"Be nice, he is my other best friend," Y/N playfully lectured.

"Yeah, but we know I'm better,"

"In basketball or being a friend?" Y/N asked to clarify

"Both, babygirl," he winked.

The bell rang and they packed up their trash. Before they went separate ways for class, Y/N kissed Billy's cheek goodbye.

~~~

Y/N fell for him, of course. She had eyes for Billy ever since he moved to Hawkins, but he didn't have the eyes for her. His eyes looked at every girl that passed by him. Y/N never made a move because he was always sleeping around with a new girl, but lately, he seemed to be alone more than usual.

With his eyes not looking elsewhere, Y/N found a boost of confidence to ask Billy out.

They were lying in his bed listening to music when she turned to look at him. She took in his handsome features, studying how gorgeous he was up close. She watched as his lips formed a smile and he turned to look at her.

"Why are you staring at me?" he laughed, placing an arm under his head and propping himself up. He reached out and placed his arm over her waist. She smiled at the feeling, her heart racing.

"Have you ever seen me more than just a friend?" she asked, her stomach twisted as his smile slowly disappeared from his face.

"What do you mean?" he asked, licking his lips nervously.

She took a deep breath, cuddling closer into his warm body. He hoped she couldn't hear how fast his heart was pounding.

"I like you, Billy. I have for a long time but never said anything. Lately, you've been alone and it got me thinking maybe this is my chance to tell you."

Billy was in awe of her soft voice and the beauty of her heart. The truth was, he did like her. He was alone because no girl could get his mind off of her. She was the only person in his life that made him happy and he wasn't sure if he'd live if he lost her. He never tried to have a relationship so he had zero hope he would treat her the way she deserved.

"I think you are incredibly beautiful, inside and out. You've given my life a whole new purpose and I'm grateful to have you. I'm not a relationship guy and that won't change. I love you and hold a place for you in my heart, but in a friendly way." Billy said gently. He softly rubbed her hip as she sighed.

"If you were a relationship guy, would you go for me?" she asked, moving to look up at him. There was so much emotion in his blue eyes and she wished she could detect it.

"My first and only choice, baby," he said softly, leaning in to kiss her forehead. "Are you going to be okay? I really don't want to lose you as my friend," Billy admitted. He feared she'd pull away and he wouldn't blame her.

"Yeah, I'll be okay," she smiled. The rejection slightly hurt but she had a gut feeling Billy wasn't the boyfriend type anyway.

Billy hummed as a response. He moved to wrap both his arms around her, setting his head on hers as she cuddled into his chest.

~~~

Turns out she wasn't as okay as she thought she'd be. Spending all her time with Billy was fun and exciting. But now all she could think about was how badly she wanted more and how it would never happen. The kisses to her cheek that made her heart race were starting to make her stomach sour. And riding with him to and from school felt suffocating as his cologne filled the space.

She realized she would never be able to move on from him if she didn't change things. So, she figured creating a little distance would help her clear her head and heal her heart. Once she felt over him, they could resume their friendship and it wouldn't hurt her anymore.

Y/N got in Billy's car, her mind reeling. She was in deep thought and had been struggling with what to do.

"Steve is going to bring me home today," she said quietly. Billy turned down the music and turned to look at her. But she kept her eyes on the road as he drove.

"Oh, why?" He asked, moving his eyes back to the road. He ignored the ping of jealousy that ran through him.

"I think I need some space from you. Not in a bad way, it's just to help me. We'll still hang out and be best friends. I promise," she smiled. She reached over to place a comforting hand on his thigh.

Billy wanted to do what was best for her, but selfishly he didn't want space. He nodded and focused on the road, he hoped she couldn't see the water filling his eyes as he pulled into the parking lot.

~

The end of the day arrived and Billy could feel her lack of presence. He walked in the hallways alone, watching as she clung to Steve instead. She didn't sit with him at lunch, but that didn't stop him from staring at her the whole time. He dreaded driving home alone all day and he hated that it arrived. He also hated that her needing space meant everything changed.

He gave her a small wave as she drove by in Steve's car. His heart sped up as she excitedly waved back with a big smile. At least she still cared about him.

~~~

Billy tried to be patient with giving her space but after a week, he was ready to throw in the towel. He had to physically hold himself back from slamming Steve against the lockers whenever Y/N touched him. That was Billy's place. He fought the urge to sit at her new table, and beg her to gossip about her friends, anything to listen to her talk.

He missed driving with her, her smell in his passenger seat was slowly fading.

He sat on his bed as he held the phone to his ear, he hoped with everything in him that she would pick up.

"Hello?"

Billy smiled at the sound of her voice, "There she is, I've missed you," he admitted.

"I've missed you too, Billy," she said, a hint of sadness in her voice.

"Want to come over? We can order your favorite and watch those horrible movies you like," Billy offered.

"That sounds amazing, but I can't tonight. I'm sorry."

"That's alright, maybe next time," Billy said disappointed. The call ended shortly after and Billy slammed the phone down. He pulled at his hair as he took deep breaths to calm himself down. He was mad, frustrated, and hurt.

"You okay?"

Billy looked up as hot tears streamed down his face. Max stood at his door with a worried expression, a look he'd never seen her have before.

"I'm fine," he snapped. He walked up and slammed his door. Max didn't take it personally, it was the first time she ever saw Billy cry.

"I know we aren't friends, but it's okay to be upset. It's okay to feel things other than anger." Max said before she walked away.

~

The more time they spent apart, the more desperate Billy got. The more he called, the more he begged. He didn't care if he sounded crazy or pathetic, all he wanted to do was see her.

She noticed all the attention, and it was hard to look the other way. But she knew she'd never get over the love she had for him if she went back. She couldn't talk to him without getting lost in his eyes, or be in the same car inhaling his cologne. She couldn't touch his skin and not think about how much she wanted to taste it.

She figured he was pitying her, trying to lessen the blow of rejection. She knew Billy cared about her and it was something he'd do, but it didn't help her. It only made it harder.

She went to turn off her lamp when she heard knocking on her window. Only one person went through her window so she prepared herself to see him again.

She quickly fluffed her hair and smoothed out her sleep clothes. She walked over and opened the curtain. She didn't say anything as she unlocked the window and let him through.

"I can't do it anymore. I tried and I want to do what is best for you but I can't do it anymore!" Billy ranted as he paced around her room. "I can't take the distance. It's selfish, I know but I am falling apart here."

"Billy," she sighed, "It's hard now but trust me, it'll help us in the end."

"No, it won't!"

"If we don't do this now, I will never get over you. It'll damage our friendship in the long run. I'll never be able to accept when you get a girlfriend or decide one day to get married. I'll be tortured and unhappy. I'm doing this for the future us," she explained. "This is the only way I'll be happy for you."

"I don't care about future us. I care about us right now. I care about you being in my life right now." Billy begged. She watched Billy walk around the room, tears building in his eyes.

"I can't have you in my life right now!" Y/N argued, "You don't understand how painful it is to be in love with someone who can't love you back."

"What if I can?" he whispered, she felt her anger come to a halt.

Y/N scoffed, "You said it yourself, you're not a relationship guy."

"I don't give a fuck what I said. It was all bullshit, okay? I'm scared and have no idea what I'm doing and I don't know if I'll be who you want me to be, but I don't care. I want you," he confessed. He walked over and placed his hand on her cheek. She felt her breathing pick up as he looked down at her, so much emotion in his eyes.

He leaned in and she followed, turning her chin up as she closed the gap between them. She sighed in bliss as his warm lips worked against hers. He wrapped his arms around her, desperately pushing her body against his. Kissing her was better than Billy imagined, she was sweet and soft. He wanted to beat himself up for waiting so long.

Needing air, he pulled away. He placed his forehead on hers, opening his eyes as he panted against her mouth. "I'm ready to be a relationship guy. I love you."

"I love you too, Billy," she smiled, placing her lips on his.

~

Billy couldn't wipe the smile off his face as he pulled up to her house. He got out of the car and opened her door. He crossed his arms as he waited for her to walk out.

"There's my girl," he whistled as she walked down the driveway. She rolled her eyes but blushed at the nickname. She greeted him with a kiss, loving the way he wrapped his arms around her to deepen it.

"Good morning to me," Billy said against her lips. She pulled away to smile. She got in the car and Billy followed.

His hand was on her knee the whole drive. Y/N felt butterflies in her stomach ever since they kissed. She couldn't believe she and Billy were in a relationship.

They held hands as they walked into the school. He was happier than ever to have her by his side again, and this time as his girlfriend.

[nightwonder7]

Hey! I discovered your Tumblr like, now haha, I loved your art and your Norton AU! I wonder, other than Norton, How did the other survivors and shape-shifting Hunters deal with it? Does Alice also change to Little Girl?

AAaaaahhh I'm so late to this ask! ;<; But thank you so much!! Q////////Q I'm really glad to hear you like it!! ;U;

---------

So I'll just get Orpheus out of the way first; as Novelist and Nightmare had release dates very close to each other, I like to think that he has always had both forms in the eternal manor, and thus didn't really have any learning curves where he had to adapt to another faction. He was the first identity switch character and kinda adjusted to both at the same time with his new living situation.

---------

Luchino and Joker I feel like had a similar experience becoming survivors after being hunters for so long, but handled it differently. So characters with identity switches are often described with the id/ego model, where one side acts on impulse and pleasure, and the other on morals and rationality. Hunters seem to represent the id, and survivors the ego for these guys.

So imagine someone who has been a hunter for a long time suddenly snapping out of this impulsive, freeing mindset when being reminded of their morals and values. I imagine it as a "waking up from a long nightmare" kinda ordeal. They weren't hunters before entering the eternal manor, but were twisted and forced into such roles upon entering for whatever reason. I can see turning into their survivor mindset after so long in chaos as sorta cathartic. But also an emotional roller-coaster. The denial of their new vulnerable position as survivors. Getting used to their old bodies again. The sinking realisation and regrets of everything they have done while being "free" that has gone against their morals and values. Navigating the jungle of gaining trust from the other survivors as well as learning or relearning how to work in teams.

I can see Luchino would approach it as a bit of an experiment. An opportunity to explore his new position with curiosity and fascination and learn from it. He'd probably handle it the best out of everyone tbh. Joker would need a lot more time to adjust to the changes. Perhaps he'd have a long period of being reticent and depressed. In denial while he comes to term with his predicament.

I have gotten a few asks about Luchino's and Joker's identity switches that have given me a few ideas that I intend to draw some day.

---------

This ask came before the announcement of Hullabaloo, but I'll say a few words about him regardless. It's probably similar to Norton as it is a situation of a long term survivor turning into a hunter. But I feel like Mike would have a harder time with it. In Fool's Gold's case, it was gaining the freedom to express all his pent up emotions. He is happy and relieved, albeit on a surface level. Hullabaloo seems like an empty husk, tormented by the pain from a life that imploded. All those negative emotions coming back to him in the eternal manor and twisting him into this wraith-like shape. Perhaps as a hunter he doesn't really realise what he is doing when in a game? In his hunter mindset, he is only focused on bringing justice to his tragedy and doesn't care who it affects. Snapping out of it after a game would be... interesting nonetheless.

Furthermore, Mike was probably more liked by the other survivors than Norton. And he was super popular and loved at the circus. So seeing everyone being suddenly on edge and distrusting of him (maybe even hated) would hit him hard. Whereas Norton was kinda used to people not liking or caring about him.

On a more comedic note, I can definitely see Mike forgetting his dual roles at the manor from time to time. At least the other survivors have learned to play along after all the shenanigans with Fool's Gold.

---------

Now to Alice... so technically in-game, Alice is Memory and vice versa. She is considered an identity switch character. However, I see them as two different entities. My reason for this is that the other identity switch characters have one thing in common; no matter what faction or form they take, they are the same person with the same names. Fool's Gold is Prospector, and he is Norton Campbell. Evil Reptilian is Professor, and he is Luchino Diruse and so on. One represents the ego, while the other represents the id. How others perceive them under the influence of the drugs happens to be the form the id takes. Memory is straight up a hallucination conjured up by Orpheus. She shows up when Orpheus as a detective is alone, so she is not there in place of Alice. Furthermore, Little Girl's name is Memory, not Alice; maybe because she is a memory from Orpheus' psyche. Then there is the whole can of worms of whether Memory is human or not cause she can teleport and sync with other survivors in-game, but I don't know if I can use that as an argument when there are flying lizard-men and humanoid rock piles gfshgfjskd

Though I'll say some of this could change with AoM3. Perhaps the little girl will be how Orpheus sees Alice during this event. But it would be a little odd if that is how he perceives Alice under the influence of the fear drugs, cause Memory is not some scary monster; she is the representation of the past Orpheus is longing for. And perhaps there is another reason for why she goes by a different name than Alice. Furthermore, I feel like we don't know enough about Alice or Memory to pinpoint if Memory really is a part of Alice in the id/ego model, or if she is just an ideal version of Alice in Orpheus' mind. But as things stand now, I'm seeing them as two different entities. In the Eternal Manor AU, Orpheus' imagination is apparently so strong that it has conjured up a whole person.

So yeah... that's the best I can explain my thoughts on this.

[skzooweemama]

hear me out.

tickle fight w minho🤭

just an idea, no pressure🙊

say less!! much love for the sassy bunny <3

okokok had a tough time coming up w an idea for this one BUT!! i took inspo from when he, changbin, and felix played pool and minho got all up in felix’s face…

like i was just imagining tickling him for being a little shit?? and him taking revenge?? yes plz.

(i experimented w some formatting/structure, so i hope it's not too confusing to read. though i like writing in second person, it can be tough to work w sometimes. i apologize in advance!!)

enjoyyyyy!!!

~~~

"goddammit!! i swear he's cheating!!" you cry out, nearly throwing your pool cue to the floor in defiance.

felix catches it before you can. "he's not." he sighs in mild defeat. "thing is neither of us are very good and he is."

lee minho, infamous bunny bully and your boyfriend, had been whooping up on you in partnered pool all day. you'd been partnered with just about every member (save for changbin, he was always minho's partner) and in each game you lost. minho wasn't super great at pool by any means, but he was calculating and crazy competitive. and he got lucky a lot. which is why he was currently trying to sink the eight ball while you and felix desperately tried to catch up.

"preying on the weak is a coward's move, minho!" chan called from the couch. he had been your first and best partner, but after one game he tapped out for-what seungmin called-"old man reasons".

minho, who was chalking his cue, stuck his tongue out at chan. you rolled your eyes.

he could be so childish.

"it's not personal, jagi. i know it's hard to lose so much, but it's for your own good." minho shrugged, placing the cue chalk down. you gave him a look.

"oh really? how's that?" you asked, watching out of the corner of your eyes as felix missed another shot.

minho gave you one of his signature grins and lowered himself into the perfect position to finally sink the eight ball.

"it builds character." was all he said before tapping the cue ball just so- sending the eight ball ricocheting off the side of the pool table and right into a waiting pocket.

the cheers he let out should've been illegal. it's not like he was hurting for a win (unlike some people (you)).

"yes!" he exclaimed, clapping changbin on the back. in what seemed to be sudden burst of energy from the win, he rounded to your side of the table and got in your face, letting out a sort of growl.

you looked at him, eyes wide, completely taken aback by this behavior.

was he truly becoming a cat? after all this time?

"god, you are such a weirdo." you said, reaching up to flick his forehead. "good game. let's go again."

"i can't, i'm tired now. i need a nap." minho answered, turning to put his pool cue away.

changbin piped up at that. "tired? it's like 10pm. are you going to bed?"

minho shook his head. "i'm going to take a nap." he leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss to your cheek. "see ya."

true to his word, he headed out of the game room and down the hall towards the room the both of you were staying in.

such a weirdo.

soon enough since it was getting late and they had a schedule tomorrow, the members started to follow minho's lead. they had a long day and definitely deserved the rest, but you were on a mission. you had to get better at pool so you'd be a slightly challenging opponent for minho in the future.

totally not because your ego was bruised after all those losses.

no, of course not.

you played by yourself for a while, working on consistently hitting the brightly colored balls into specific pockets. the few times you tried to get the ball to bounce off the side of the table, it didn't work. you still had a ways to go before you could compete against minho. and seeing as it had been at least an hour since he went to "nap", you decided he probably wasn't coming back out.

whatever, the two of you hardly ever played pool in the first place. what did it matter if you were good?

"oh good, you're still awake. ready for a rematch?"

it seemed you spoke too soon.

your eyes found minho standing in the doorway, bare-faced and wearing his glasses. his hair was sort of messy, confirming that he did in fact take a nap like the psycho he is. he was also wearing one of your old twice hoodies, and you made a mental note to grab it later. minho was a notorious hoodie thief.

"are you going to let me win for once?" you asked, crossing your arms over your chest.

minho scoffed and walked into the room, grabbing a cue from the rack. "of course not. i don't go easy on anyone. not even you."

you knew that would be his answer. no matter, you planned for this. "alright, fine. then i propose a handicap. to make it fair."

"and that's different from me going easy on you how?"

"you can play however you want, as long as you observe it. i know how clever you are, you'll figure it out." truthfully, a handicap wasn't that much different than minho deliberately going easy on you. but pool made him competitive, and if he was feeling competitive sometimes he liked a challenge.

minho looked at you for a long time, before eventually shrugging. "what's the handicap?"

"for every one shot you take, i get two. sound fair?" minho scoffed at your words, shaking his head.

"you're on. i've seen how you shoot, jagi." he replied as he racked the balls.

you smiled to yourself. "you might be surprised."

~~~

safe to say minho was not surprised.

you were just as terrible as you had been all day, even after all that practice you told him about. he almost felt bad for you. sure, you were great at many things he wasn't and you had a knack for picking up skills rather quickly. it just seemed like pool wasn't one of those skills.

now, he was just about to win again, and honestly... it felt just as good as all the other times.

"min! take your turn! i know you want to rub this in, so consider it rubbed..." you groaned, leaning on the table as you watched your boyfriend analyze the layout of the balls.

minho decided he had about two options to get each of his balls in. one he could do from where he was currently standing and it had a pretty decent chance of being successful. the other, however, required a lot more caution, and for him to be standing on the side of the table you were on.

safe to say he chose option two and sauntered over to your side of the table.

you turned towards him as he approached, giving him a questioning look. "couldn't you have just hit the green striped one from where you were standing?"

minho nodded. "i missed you."

"missed me? what are you-" he pressed a finger to your lips.

"let me concentrate." he said, earning him a glare as you gave him some space.

minho leaned onto the table, lining up his shot. it required some maneuvering to get his cue just right, but with a sharp thrust of the stick, the ball went rocketing into a corner pocket.

"let's go!" he cheered quietly. you scoffed behind him.

he had earned a second shot, so he walked back around to the other side of the table and lined up his next shot. the green striped ball went in as well. minho looked up at you with a gloating look, his smugness only growing when he saw a smile pull at the corner of your mouth. you were so whipped. it was cute.

now, for the eight ball.

this shot was tricky. the cue ball wasn't close to the black ball at all, so it meant he had to use one of your balls to hit it into whichever pocket he called.

"back left corner." he said aloud. with a deep breath, he lined up his shot and hit the cue ball just a bit harder than he would usually and sent it flying down the table, colliding with your ball, which collided with the eight ball...

...and sent it straight into the pocket he called.

minho practically threw his cue to the ground in his excitement, letting out a (soft) cry of excitement. something just came over him when he made good plays in pool- he couldn't help it.

that was certainly clear when he went running around the table again just to get in your face and brag.

except he didn't actually get to brag, because suddenly your hands were grabbing at his sides and he was being dragged to the ground.

"this'll teach you, you jerk!" you cried out as you staged your attack, tickling wherever you could reach while minho was still trying to understand what was happening.

he didn't even realize he was laughing until you started laughing with him, but then the sensations hit him like a truck. the familiar feeling of being tickled set his nervous system on fire as peals of laughter escaped his lips.

"NAHA!! jahahagi plehease!!" he choked out between laughs. "what did i dohoho?!"

you were sitting on his hips now, keeping him trapped beneath you as you went to town on his sides and abs. "what did you do? you really don't know?"

minho shook his head desperately.

"you've been an insufferable gloat all. day. long." you told him, punctuating each of the last three words with pokes to his bellybutton, earning some seriously embarrassing squeaks. "i decided it was time for me to put you in your place."

minho tried to come up with a witty reply, but your fingers dancing against his sides (getting dangerously close to his ribs) seemed to swallow his thoughts whole. all he could manage was a weak cry when you switched tactics and started massaging his ribs before he fell into wild cackles once again.

through his ticklish haze, minho could see you were having a great time. your cheeks were flushed and you had a wide smile on your face. seeing how pretty you looked was almost worth this punishment.

almost, but not quite.

a swipe of your fingers on his sensitive upper ribs was enough of an incentive to turn the tides. he grabbed your hips where you were straddling him and turned you both quickly to the side, ending up on top of you.

your eyes widened in surprise as you realized what he did. minho, still panting and giggling, brought his lips to yours in a soft kiss. it was the most affectionate he'd been all day, but it wasn't at all innocent.

while you kissed, he dug his fingers into your armpits.

"GAH!!" you screamed, trying to squirm away from his deft fingers. unfortunately, it seemed that he was just as good at pinning you as you were him.

minho smiled and pecked the side of your mouth. "aw, did you really no expect this?" he teased, worming his fingers deeper into your underarms. no matter how hard you tried to clamp them to your sides, the ticklish sensations never stopped.

you let out a shout of frustration as you laughed, batting and pushing at minho as much as you could without exposing more tickle spots.

"PLEHEASE!! min, i'm sohorry!!" you whined.

"oh are you? you started it so don't even act-," he was interrupted by someone clearing their throat.

chan stood in the doorway with his arms crossed, clearly half-awake and annoyed. "as much as i'm sure he deserved whatever started this, some of us are trying to sleep."

you pushed minho off of you with burning cheeks, unable to meet chan's eyes. minho chuckled and patted your back.

"we'll keep it down. sorry, chan~"

chan just grumbled out a "thanks" and walked away.

you groaned and leaned into minho, burying your face in his shoulder. "that was way too embarrassing..." you muttered.

he chuckled and pet your hair gently. "oh c'mon, it's just chan. nothing he hasn't seen before." you groaned again. "let's go to bed, hm?"

you nodded and minho stood up, grabbing your hand and hauling you to your feet. the two of you shuffled off to bed, feeling extra tired from the various competitions of the day. you didn't mind, though. life would be boring otherwise.

[themindcrowave]

recurring jing yuan thoughts #2... a spiderverse AU

so i've been thinking about spiderverse jing yuan lately..... trying to decide whether he's a spider or a gwen/MJ

- if he was a spider he'd be able to travel dimensions,,, he'd definitely have a backstory similar to miguel o'hara's about trying to find a reality where everyone he loved was back together again, but unlike miguel, once that reality inevitably goes wrong he either:

- decides to really focus on his emotional healing and grief processing or

- becomes a compartmentalization master like he is in the game

because either way he knows he can't properly help others and be a leading figure if he can't move past his own grief first. he would rather gnaw through his own arm than push his old emotional scars onto the young spiders he's met and formed family with along his journey. he might have lost his first found family but he'll be damned if he loses his chance at another.

- and then just like in-game, jing yuan will meet the people of his past again... i'm thinking dan heng is a spider from a parallel universe where dan feng's weakened consciousness ended up after he was completely wiped from jing yuan's dimension, so basically dan heng was always his own person of course but then he started having visions of a lifetime parallel to his own lived by someone who looked exactly like him (insert my gwen stacy theory bc WOW does it fit him)

- blade would be kinda like the usual spiderman villain setup where his undying situation is all because of a terrible science accident and his main motivation is to find the ones involved in what happened to him (the og high cloud quintet friend group) and exact vengeance so that maybe he can finally disappear in peace (basically the same as in-game)

- baiheng's death was probably jing yuan's first devastating "canon event". i think he wasn't around to save her when she died (and he couldn't have been, he didn't even know where she was or what happened to her until he heard the news) and that guilt will forever eat away at him... i'm thinking she died in an aircraft accident but i haven't decided what kind yet

- dan feng was a genius scientist. he experimented with a lot of things that he probably shouldn't have and always pushed the boundaries of scientific possibility,, especially after baiheng died. he started secluding himself in his lab and only yingxing ever had any success at visiting him there for any substantial period of time... which is exactly how yingxing got caught up in dan feng's plan to bring baiheng back (think kingpin bringing his family back with the alchemax super-collider) and subsequently cue the horrible accident which turned him into the immortal blade

- oh and then of course jing yuan, being spiderman, has to track down and apprehend dan feng for what he did and decide his sentence (life imprisonment) but dan feng's family clan had him assassinated in prison for reasons jing yuan was never able to completely uncover (and a nagging little part of him will always feel like dan feng's fate was his fault)

- i think jingliu was jing yuan's superhero mentor... not sure if she was a spider too, or just another masked hero in the area who took him under her wing when he was new to his powers. just like in-game, she was the one who introduced him to the rest of the group, and just like in-game she will go completely berserk and become a vigilante with no clear morals or objectives after baiheng dies. like with dan feng, jing yuan has to track her down and try to get her back. unlike with dan feng, jingliu decides that given her shattered mental state the safest option for society as a whole would be for jing yuan to defeat her then and there, once and for all, simultaneously saving the day and proving his graduation from her mentorship. and, well. he did.

- there's yanqing (young spider, official mentee, and unofficial son of jing yuan) thoughts rattling around in here too, but words are difficult so unfortunately you'll have to put your full imagination to work here and just try to feel the "i'm-putting-this-character-in-a-jar-and-shaking-it-like-a-mixed-drink" vibes for yourself! cheers

[goldenchocobo]

Kingdom Hearts Tamagotchi Adventures

So, I got the Kingdom Hearts Tamagotchi for my birthday this year. and it was only in September that I decided to activate it (I was hesitant because I know Tamagotchi can be needy and can't be turned off). So here's my so-far roughly one month journey!

Here he is- Base Sora on day 1. I took care of him, played games, and generally fiddled about with what I could do. This was my first ever Tamagotchi, so it was a new experience to me. You fight Shadow Heartless, Dusk Nobodies and Flood Unversed occasionally with the tap of the 'A' button. They didn't happen super frequently so I was fine fending them off.

Unfortunately things didn't go well. I became ill with stomach flu the night after. The manual says it takes roughly 49 hours for Sora to change/evolve. and well...

When I was able to move again... I woke up to... uh... Heartless Sora. Everything remained the same, except the food and treat (Paopu and Icecream) turned into Heart and !. Heart being that you well- fed him hearts, and ! meaning he attacked you (I think... he vanished then appeared closer and waved his arms about). I felt really bad that my first Tamagotchi basically 'died' because of things I couldn't control. But I enjoyed my time with Heartless Sora; and after a few days, Kairi found him and saved him! Very cute 2 bit scene. Back to Normal Sora. I found an issue. You see... I'm more nocturnal; and this Tamagotchi... wasn't. He woke up at 9AM and slept at 10PM; meaning he didn't get the right care from me.. but I figured I could change the time to suit me- and did. Now he wakes up at 12PM and sleeps at 2AM- same as me. Next evo was a surprise! Sora introduced me to (and trusted me to care?) Riku!

This was when I found out each character/evo has different sleeping schedules. Riku would sleep late and wake late (I'm thankful it wasn't early due to the whole Dawn motif because I didn't want to change the clock too much again). They also have their own unique cutscenes, with Riku primarily featuring Mickey. Not much happened, and I showed Riku to Riku(My Riku... the cockatiel- named after... Riku). But He left and Sora returned. At this point I wanted to aim for Roxas- or Ventus (I'm sad there's no Vanitas). So I miiight have looked up a quick wiki to see how to get the characters. "Wow that's cheating" you might say.. and yeah- probably... the issue is that I didn't get Roxas.

Instead, Sora 'grew up' into KHII Sora. I was interested to see what kind of outfit or character I could get to show up, so I continued with normal care.

On the 28th of September... Sora.. ever the festive fellow...

Donned his Santa outfit.

I found it kinda funny, but kept him up with Normal care. I was starting to forget him (I got a little drawer handle I put him on during the evening on my right hand ride next to my monitor, and during the day he's on the couch arm- I don't take him out because I'm scared I'll lose the Tamagotchi somewhere). So He was getting upset/hungry; but if he beeped I knew he needed something. He Unlocked/locked the Keyhole to Halloween/Christmas Town, then flew off in the Gummiship, returning as Normal Sora. After 49 hours, he once again reintroduced me to Riku. having forbidden knowledge, I knew I could turn Riku into Dark Riku. and tried.

I. Felt. Awful.

I know they're just 2bit pixelart on the screen... but Riku has a special place in my heart (I named my grumpy, gay cockatiel after him!) so me... just basically neglecting Riku? it hurt :(

After this. He did not turn into Dark Riku. He left. just straight-up.

Sora flew back in on the Gummiship and my quest to get Roxas/Ventus continued.

But I was surprised when I came back after an outing to find... Sora turned into a fish

Wiki says he's from 'Bad care', but I don't remember giving him subpar treatment, and catering to what he wanted- so I'm baffled. He did come with an Aerial/Sebastian scene, though- so that was cute. He didn't stay for long and locked Atlantica's Keyhole, returning as Basic Sora.

Again- I tried to get Roxas, but instead got KHII Sora again; so I thought I could maybe get Axel or Xion; since they're included in the KHII evo list.

Nope. Christmas Sora again. Oh well- He does love Christmas.

I'll update this if I get anything interesting. I know you can get Xehanort- I recognised his Silhouette on the manual, so maybe I'll get him one day.

I'm still waiting on Roxas..

[color-craz]

AF MidWeek Round-up!

This is just a simple post compiling all of my attacks so far along with some artists notes! Mostly because I found myself much more active this year than last year (Minus these few couple days due to some appointments). I'll be tagging everyone and linking to other socials so you can see these lovely folks. Of course if you want to attack me, I'm ready to fight! Without further ado, here's all the attacks so far :>

@cosmicdenro @stellarknightz - Weekend Date The name of the game for these first few attacks was to get everyone who I was supposed to last year but ran out of time ^^;;. I decided upon Jesse's Zircon over Jesse the character (one in my bookmarks) b/c it seemed like Turquoise Zircon was less drawn this year but was his icon on AF. So easy pick from me :> (Btw doing Sodalite's stripes and copying Zircon's shape language was really fun!!)

@/clawothy (Twitter) - Chill Cat Another attack from last years bookmarks! It was definitely a soft but enjoyable opening into drawing furries since Claw's so human shaped. It was fun drawing his tail and patterns :>. This is just a nice character design all around.

@twidaisi - Speedy Service Twi was also one from my bookmarks, but also a doorway down an ArtFight rabbit hole. Which will become apparent in the next two pieces. For this one, I had a pretty clear pose in mind so I placed it onto O.R.B.I and went from there!! His design is so neat and he seems so cool! The pose was also pretty fun to do as well, just an overall fun art piece (Also this one got a revenge!!! I still really really love thank you so much!!!!!)

@scratchgeist - Escapism Ho! This was a doozy! Twi had Scratch's profile linked so I ended up hitting him with an attack too. Drawing Scratch's mane turned out to be a pleasant experience despite me originally fearing it. This scene idea also came from a prompt of Scratch going outside. I ended up putting Polish on this because all those scratchy "ink like" lines I actually did manually (take a fuzzy brush and then go over it using a sketchbook eraser). It was nice dipping my toes into BatIM again and trying out more animal feature.

@/stylin.art Instagram @/crypticc0rpse Instagram - Pirates in arms One of those two people were linked on Scratch's profile and the person linked also linked to the other person. But I realized that both Stylin and Crypt had some shared characters. So this ended my little rabbit hole of people by attacking these two lovely fellows at the same time. This little crossing swords idea took me a nice minute to come up with but I liked how it ended up anyway. I really did like drawing James together like this (probably helps that I really like pirates in general). Also yes I know her hand is fucked up I noticed way to late to fix it.

@smoresthehalloweenqueen - Listen to the waves Once I finished up with that I moved onto the next bookmark, which was Smores! Originally I was gonna draw Brutus but then I was like "I like his sona it looks like fun!" So I drew them listening to music because why not :>. I struggled on the arms initially but it came out real clean and nice. Honestly might be my best work so far! (Fun fact, I color picked the waves + background from Seafoam's icon.)

@skittisketch - I got it! Mr. Sascachawean himself! I referenced this pose form the classic Objection point because I thought it would fit his personality. This was also a little bit of a test with a style I had only done in sketches (Basically my human style but omitting a neck which somehow shaves off a lot of time). This was a super fun pose to do with a pretty nice background! (Once again, fucked up hand I know I noticed too late again)

@justpainterrobot - Rare Nightly Sight I had this really really clear picture of what I thought up for this attack and I'm happy that I was able to make it a reality. I put the polish tag on this one because I almost got super super detailed of what the junk was below her (Stuff coming down from Elysium n all that) but due to a lack of references I just went with typical metal and wood. Fun fact, the night sky in the background is based on the one from Deponia itself (The first game's scenes with the professor at night). I think this rewrite of Toni was really cool from what I could find about her. Overall a labor of love type of attack.

@coelpts @swan-swanno - Boss Battle I thought to myself "Hm, I see Coelpts around a lot, lets hit him with an attack." and it turns out Ciel's gay married to Swanno's charater Mikhail, who was the last one in my bookmarks from last year. So another double attack for this one! It was a struggle starting this one mostly because I was debating whether or not to draw Ciel's Lord outfit but I ended up doing so because why not :>. It was a fun experience copying Swanno's more angular style, which is a stark departure from my more rounded shapes (As you can see here). Has a nice venture doing the lighting as well, overall a good experience.

@tailsylennon - Sweet Treats Mitchell showed off Tasily's proflie one day and I saw their sona and was I was like "Lemme draw it!" and did! I ended up following another prompt by her because it was their birthday! (By the time I started on this it was 8 pm and I freaked tf out and got to work). Her sona was really cool and I really loved drawing them. Fun fact, each of the set pieces references the Hallows Souls trio. The chair is decorated after Terra, Markus is the table, and Whistle pallet is used for the tea set :>. It was just a pleasant and cozy attack to make overall.

@ceaseless-enemy - Congratulations!!!! I've actually known about Voila for quite awhile now and thought his design n theaming is quite neat! I actually based the pose off of Ai from Oshi No Ko (I think one of her key arts before the anime released, ifykyk). But I skillfully cut out the legs because I can't draw digitigrade legs... Hooray... Otherwise it was quite nice to work on this attack in particular, especially the eyes and the hair :>.

@killbent - Getting Ready This is another one I had a real clear idea of prior to doing this, specifically because Killbent gave a prompt to give Mr Fairchime pink hair, so i thought a "pre-show" set up would look nice :>. The lighting was another new venture for me, because I usually do cool/night time like lighting but I think it turned out nicely for Fairchime. It was also fun doing the accessories and stuff on the vanity as well. Fun Fact, it's a bit hard to see through the watermark + lighting but the face paint and pallet both have the colors of his make up! Overall a pleasant and warm attack for this year.

And that's all of them so far! I picked up some new bookmarks + I gotta get Twi back for drawing Compact!! So those will probably be compiled by the end of AF so about, early August-ish if I keep up the pace. Anyway, thank you so much for reading and gracing me with the opportunity to draw all of these amazing characters!

Until next time!

-Gappy, Witch of the Stars

[htfs-ranked-on]

if this hasn't already been done, ranking on how good each would be at babysitting?

in approximate order from best to worst

toothy: probably one of the best babysitters of the tree friends! strikes a good balance between letting the kiddo bend the rules just a little bit, but not letting them do anything actually reckless or dangerous

flippy: probably one of the better options! he likes kids, and he's the responsible type. maybe a bit on the strict side, though

giggles: she's good at keeping the kid safe, but she hovers too much for them to have any real fun

lammy: pretty similar to flippy, but worse at responding under pressure, so if there was any sort of minor incident like a glass breaking, she'd be at a bit of a loss

handy: relatively decent! good with kids, but not a stickler for rules. definitely lets the kiddo get away with staying up late and not eating their vegetables at dinner

sniffles: he doesn't really know what to DO with children. what he DOES know how to do, though, is set up basic grade school level science experiments, which ends up making him one of the favorite babysitters for his "cool science stuff"

cuddles: he's never gonna be the FIRST person to call if you need a babysitter, of course, but he does alright. the kid probably falls over and gets a fun new bruise or scrape to explain to their grownups, but cuddles handles the situation without panicking and only bribes the kiddo with candy a little bit

russell: keeps the kid entertained with "cool pirate stories" that their grownups assume are made up (they are not made up)

petunia: this would probably be worse for her than it would be for the child in question. kids are messy and would stress her out to hell and back, but she'd NEVER take that out on them. the kid would be in great hands, but she wouldn't like a single second of it

pop: is the one looking for a babysitter, haha. on the off chance he has to watch someone else's kid, he does... okay, probably.

mime: not necessarily a BAD babysitter, but he sort of treats the situation like he's performing at a birthday party. super fun, but maybe not the most responsible

lifty: he has no idea what to do with kids. he doesn't DISLIKE them, exactly, but he'll readily admit he's out of his depth. still, though, the kid ends up having fun because he's more than willing to ply them with fast food and play along with whatever little game they come up with just to keep them occupied

shifty: similar to lifty, he has no idea what to do with kids, but he's exponentially more likely to stick them in front of the tv/a video game the whole time because "that's what i grew up doing and i turned out fine" (he did not turn out fine)

nutty: obviously not a GOOD choice, but not as disastrously bad as you'd expect. more candy and video games are involved than is healthy, but no one ends up injured and the kid probably ends the day with a smile

flaky: oh this would stress them out so badly. if they ever managed to get out of their own head, they would get along well with kids, but they're too worried about everything that could go terribly wrong

disco bear: ".....you want a beer?" "he's FOUR 😠" "i don't know, what am i supposed to do with him?!"

splendid: certified Not Good With Children. liable to get distracted and leave the kid unattended around the cleaning supplies or something

mole: let's be real no one is asking him to babysit, and he would say no if anyone did

splendont: i'm not sure you could convince him to babysit

[tellmegoodbye]

Tag Game: Disasters

Thank you @bonheur-cafe @literateowl @corsage and @thisbuildinghasfeelings for tagging me! And thank you @lonestar-s5countdown for the questions!

(1) What is your favorite 911 Lone Star disaster or emergency?

We're all saying the ice storm and there's really nothing that even comes close! However, my second favorite disaster would probably be the solar storm. The ending scene with the northern lights was so gorgeous and no emergency made me cry more than the astronaut call.

(2) Is there a disaster the show hasn't already done that you'd like to see?

I've seen a couple people say something to do with water like flooding or a big storm and that would be interesting to see! If we're talking hurricanes I don't know how much strength they'd retain by the time they get inland enough to reach Austin, but who says they have to stay in Austin! They went to a different part of Texas for the forest fire. Also, as a certified Floridian this is generally just something I would like to see them do. Especially since we have our token Floridian Marjan who can do her water rescues!

(3) If you're keeping up with BTS/spoilers, which season 5 disaster are you most looking forward to?

I'm really looking forward to the train derailment! Emotions are going to be running very high it seems, and the whole thing looks very intense! Ever since we got the promo, I've had this idea of TK calling Carlos when he's trapped with Tommy and Nancy thinking he's about to die, possibly from the chlorine gas? I don't know, but we'll see how it plays out. Either way, I'm extremely excited!

(4) Which three main characters would you want with you in the event of a massive natural disaster and why?

Judd, because he seems to have a lot of survival skills. Tommy, because she has the most experience and medical training. And Grace because she'd keep everyone calm and know how to get out of a bunch of different scenarios.

(5) Which three main characters would you least want with you in the event of a massive natural disaster and why?

We're talking about first responders here so none of them would actually be bad to have with me, but in terms of combinations of people it would probably be worse to have people who don't interact as much or aren't as close. For example we could have Tommy, Mateo, and Wyatt. All very capable people but they're probably not going to work as smoothly together since they aren't as close as they are to other characters.

I'm getting to this one super late (I had a crazy week) but tagging some people who I don't think have done this yet! Sorry if you already did and I just missed it.

@paperstorm @guardian-angle22 @nancys-braids @captain-gillian @lemonlyman-dotcom

@carlos-in-glasses @strandnreyes @carlos-tk @herefortarlos @heartstringsduet

+ open tag

[mademoiselle-cookie]

Is Étoiles a bad leader?

No. If you just wanted to know that, my answer is no. You don't have to read the rest.

So in my completely impartial and not at all biased opinion, I'm going to explain why we are actually lucky to have him as a leader. (it will probably poorly age)

But first yes, this question does not come out of nowhere. This first day was hell for the Green Team and their chat (at least Étoiles' chat). I was watching his stream before stopping before the “teamwork” part. If it had been later, I wouldn't have watched the VOD. I literally put the last stream in accelerated, because it wasn't pleasant to watch and Étoiles was clearly not having a good time. It ruined my good mood and I abandoned the stream on the 2nd day because I wasn't in a state to enjoy it, even though it seemed to be exactly like the solo part of Étoiles during the 1st day, but vocally with the Blue Team, so without the stress of teamwork.

I'm not saying that Étoiles is perfect. It is obvious that he was not elected for his leadership abilities, but because he is the strongest (and he is green). He is kind, doesn't like to impose himself, speaks softly and is an introvert whose social battery runs out quickly (I'm an introvert myself and let me tell you it goes down very quickly in stressful/in unusual company/unpleasant situations). It also often happened that the other players talked over him (except Fit, no? It seemed to annoy him)

But I attribute the majority of their difficulty to two points:

Lack of luck A) Decisions which are good on paper but the circumstances of the event make them bad

It's a survival game. Taking your time to prepare is super important if it's possible. It's literally what allows you to survive properly after that. The Green Team farmed items, obtained and enchanted armors and weapons, collected food, made sure everyone had what they needed, created a well-hidden base... They then left as a group because it is more cautious and stronger... The problem is that not everyone plays like that. The other teams were much weaker (at this moment) so the fights weren't tense at all, they got lost very often due to their numbers, the majority of interactions among teams took place while they were preparing so they arrived too late for that ...

B) Lack of balance

The Green Ninjas are way too strong. There is Étoiles, the strongest on the server who is used to this type of game, Fit, who is also used to this type of game but with even more experience, Roeir who is much stronger than he looks like… In comparison, the Red Team doesn't have half its team and those remaining are mostly lore players, not pvp or survival. What would it have cost to take Étoiles or Fit and trade him for a red player who never comes? There would have been fewer calm and experienced people among the Greens but a penalty is not a problem at this stage. Etoiles were just complaining that they were too strong and that it wasn't fun.

(And really, at least the Reds are with people they're used to being around (the Twitch Rivals members are all there except Etoiles) and they're the crowd's favorites. The Green Team is either people who know their stuff and are quite solitary (Fit and Etoiles) or don't come in general (Kameto), or won't come much anymore because it's not their type of game (Antoine and Ironmouse). So it's less fun to watch. Imbalance is not just in the difference in strength.)

C) Languages

It's like that for everyone but on the Green Team, only Fit is a Native English Speaker, the language that everyone uses. Finding words is complicated, understanding others is complicated, and all that, added to the stress, made the situation even more difficult than necessary.

Hell is other people A) It's stressful

The players were teleported to an unknown island completely run by a person who hates them and wants to make them suffer, without their stuff, with one less heart line, to save their children, taking into account that an (unknown) team is corrupted and its defeat means the death of some eggs. Survival games aren't for everyone either, so some really fall completely short. Game or not, it's a stressful situation. And humans don't perform well under stress, and that makes us more aggressive and difficult to get along with. For teamwork, it's a real obstacle.

B) These players do not meet often

Apart from a few exceptions, the members of the Green Team do not often hang out together. They get along well but are usually with other people. Obviously, the bonds are less strong, and the knowledge to understand and manage others is lesser.

C) It's the 1st day

The first day of an inherently stressful and frustrating event, where team members do not necessarily know each other well. Obviously it's a disaster. We rarely perform really good the first time. At least the Greens didn't kill each other or go crazy.

But honestly, we judge the Greens on their teamwork because they were the only ones to do it. The Blues were working, but mostly on their own, the Reds acting as a team but they did not really "work".

But why are we lucky to have Étoiles as a leader? Because he's the nicest. He wants to play fair. He apologizes after killing someone, didn't want to kill Tina because the fight was way too unfair, asked his team not to burn other people's stuff because it's really annoying. This team is the strongest on the easy server if they try. Étoiles almost won on the 2nd day while being all alone. He would have succeeded if Elquackity hadn't messed up (chances are it was done on purpose to boost the morale of the Red Team). Roier wants blood, so does Fit. Yet Étoiles managed to keep them calm enough to farm and maintain some morals. If he decided to be completely wild, it wouldn't be a pretty sight.

The Reds went completely crazy from day 1, while the Greens had enough preparations for a solid foundation when they reconnect. The Bolas might be the most fun to follow, but if you were stuck on the island, which team would you prefer? The crazy cannibals who eat each other or the strongest who help each other even if it’s boring?

[squid-ink-symphony]

f1sh and chips headcanons?

IVE BEEN PREPARING FOR THIS MOMENT MY WHOLE LIFE

HARMONY:

Nonbinary and kinda indifferent on their gender. Goes by She/They. Doesn't really care if you use other pronouns for them tho.

Aromantic and a lesbian. Is still ok with labeling a relationship as dating even if she doesn't experience romantic love the same way as other people.

Autistic, and doesn't always function super well as an adult on her own. But she's doing her best.

Collects stuffed animals and small toys.

Likes cute things, but some people would label their definition of cute as weird.

Loves bright colors. Crank that saturation up!

Very blunt.

Gets along pretty well with her bandmates. They aren't SUPER close but they are friends.

Knows she is different. Doesn't care. It probably used to bother them more when they were younger, but now she has come to terms with it.

House is very messy.

People are just drawn to her, she doesn't particularly like it.

A lot of people think that because she is blunt and speaks her mind that she doesn't ever lie and take everything she says at face value. He is very capable of lying and will do so for various reasons if needed. Or sometimes just cuz spreading misinformation is funny. Will tell you the sky is bright green with no hesitation and a deadpan expression.

Depressed. Is on medication for it and handles it ok ish...

Video game addict. You can usually find her at home in her pajamas playing some new game surrounded by empty instant ramen cups.

Mostly enjoys creative or cute games like pokemon, animal crossing, or minecraft. Doesn't play them often, but she is the absolute best at fighting games. Could beat anyone blindfolded. Is good at a lot of hard games, but doesn't really like that kind of stuff.

Plays a lot of things as they come out and probably has a blog where she reviews them.

Knows every skip and speedrun strat ever.

Likes platformers, especially 2d ones.

Collects old nintendo consoles/games.

Stims a lot with any object nearby. Likes to play with her bracelets a lot. Will just pick up random things and fidget with them.

Seems to be tired a lot, has bags under her eyes. Stays up late a lot but doesn't mind the lack of energy.

Very clumsy and has poor motor controls for a lot of things. Has to take frequent breaks when playing games or music. Gets hurt a lot bumping into random objects.

Issues with her wrists have been a problem for most of her life due to her hobbies, and she is surprisingly good at taking care of them nowadays. Used to not care but then some serious injuries happened and she realized she couldn't afford to do that.

DEDF1SH:

Bigender! He/She/They probably. Would maybe be open to neos if he found the right ones.

Demiromantic, Bi, and Asexual. Both Acht and Harmony are aspec(not for any reason what no i'm not biased as an aroace person noooo-)

When first getting out of the metro he was VERY malnourished and had a hard time eating food. He has a lot of texture issues and finds most foods unbearable to put in her mouth.

Has since gained her weight back and is looking more healthy.

Is very sensitive to sunlight, and burns very easily even in normal weather with minimal exposure. This is part of the reason she spends so much time alone indoors.

Eyes are also very sensitive to light after being sanitized and living in the deep for so long. This is why he wears sunglasses everywhere.

Is also autistic like harmony. (again, as an autistic person i am in no way biased towards headcanoning characters as autistic ok?) Is sensitive to sounds and wears noise canceling headphones a lot.

Goes nonverbal if overstimulated.

Doesn't talk that much, is more the type to say as few words as possible to get their sentence across.

Likes eating cereal with no milk. It's one of their favorite snacks.

LOVES fruit. They are that meme of the person covered in mango juice.

Just like harmony, his face isn't very expressive. But while harmony always looks like she's daydreaming, Acht often looks angry. This is especially true when she has her glasses on since you can't see her eyes.

Really likes fashion. Likes very femme alternative stuff specifically.

Is already naturally tall, and wears heels everywhere. Towers over most other octolings/inklings.

There are many lasting effects from the sanitization. Including physical and mental symptoms. Acht is slowly recovering tho!

Can play piano, just doesn't. Doesn't remember where they learned to, but it makes them feel slightly sad to play it.

Has amnesia due to the sanitization. Can remember things like skills, but not where they learned them or from who. Doesn't remember much of her past. Doesn't remember much family or friends either. Can picture some blurry faces, but not names or how they knew each other.

Tartar told her about her decision to be sanitized, and she has no choice but to have taken his word for why she decided to due so as she has no memory of it.

Has a hard time adjusting to life on the surface.

Has some trauma surrounding medical equipment, and doesn't like to go to doctors.

I've always Acht having known Marina before coming to the surface, but with Side Order confirming they know each other somehow i will wait to flesh that out until we get more info.

Is confident and somewhat social(especially compared to Harmony) but needs a lot of time to recharge their batteries after being around others.

ParuF1sh:

They both like to make music, and often make silly little songs together. Acht likes to take whatever Harmony hums and turn it into short songs.

Both of them don't sleep much. Harmony doesn't like to because she prefers to spend her time on hobbies n such instead. She also has insomnia, but since she doesn't like sleeping it doesn't really bother her TOO much. Acht on the other hand has issues sleeping due to frequent nightmares. She ends up having terrifying nightmares of her time with tartar or things she can't fully remember from before she was sanitized. Harmony is always there to comfort him when he wakes up sweating and frightened.

Both of them are very picky about food and so their pantries end up being stuffed with lots of their prefered safe foods.

Acht tries to push himself to leave his apartment in splatsville from time to time to avoid being totally disconnected from the world because that's what she did when she first got to the surface and it made her very depressed. On one of those trips Acht ended up visiting Hotlantis because he was just exploring various shops. He really liked the vibes of the shop and the wide variety of items that rotated frequently had him coming back. This is where the two of them first met.

At first Harmony and Acht didn't even notice each other despite Acht becoming a regular to come buy and look at weird little items. But eventually after having to check Acht out so many times she finally started to pay attention to what Acht was buying and noticed they had similar tastes. Then one day Harmony struck up a conversation with Acht and they became friends from there.

I think they are both poly and wouldn't mind if their partner dated someone else. But neither of them have another partner right now.

While they both may struggle with a lot of things they help each other out and manage to get through life ok.

It took a bit for Acht to get back to making music after getting out of the metro.

They like to watch ghibli movies while cuddling for a lot of their dates. They will watch all of them and then just start over with the first one again. I think the movies are comfort media for them. Harmony's favorite movie is Spirited Away and Acht's favorite is Kiki's Delivery Service.

Acht chills with Harmony's fish a lot i think.

Neither of them know how to cook.

Harmony leaves her work spaces very messy, but Acht keeps hers VERY neat.

Acht and Harmony both take surprisingly long to get ready and pick out outfits, but Acht takes much longer than Harmony.

They do a lot of parallel play where they just sit in silence and do their own thing.

Acht hangs out at Hotlantis with Harmony a lot and just keeps their headphones on and chills.

Acht also runs the store when Harmony isn't there.

They both listen to a lot of video game osts and it's probably what Harmony keeps playing in the store as well.

Acht has asked why Harmony doesn't stream playing games, and Harmony just doesn't wanna. She would rather just post reviews.

They swap whos the little spoon depending on the day.

Both of them have terrible sleep schedules.

The first time Acht ever saw a splatfest she was enamored, and now she makes sure to always attend the concerts. Harmony insists on keeping the store open since people are everywhere during splatfests and love to shop. But the floats come through the same streets as the shop, so Acht makes sure to pull her away to watch them at least once. And Harmony loves seeing the music as well.

Neither of them really participate in turf wars. Acht is older than most players and finds it awkward to team up with random teenagers but isn't willing to put together an official team of players her age. But she still likes to take her trusty squiffer out to the practice range to keep her skills sharp. Harmony LOVES to watch her practice.

I was about to go into a whole thing of which team they would pick for each splatfest and why, but i think thats gonna have to be later/if anyone asks for it cuz it may be too long for this post lol

so yeah ill end it there for now. they are my beloveds and i could talk about them forever so feel free to ask questions/send in suggestions/talk about how you view them

here is a goofy doodle i did in 5 mins on my laptop for compensation for reading this far:

[ferhog]

Getting into Metroid This Past Month:

I first learned about Metroid (as well as most Nintendo franchises that weren't Pokemon and Mario) through my friend's copy of Smash Bros Brawl at around the age of 9. Samus being a hot lady underneath the cool set of power armor left enough of an impression for me to try and draw her from memory, but I otherwise had no interest in actually playing her games for most of the following decade and a half. In that time I learned a bit of her lore from Smash Trophys, Game Theory videos, and watching the first few minutes of Other M cutscenes to hear the lady from Smash Bros talk, but it wasn't until shortly after the release of Metroid Dread when I watched some late game cutscenes from the game and GameXplain's Metroid movie pitch video that I became interested enough in the story of the games and Samus as a character that I decided to downlo- I mean obtain copies of Zero Mission and Fusion for my Visua- I mean Gameboy Advance, which I held off on starting until I worked through my gaming backlog more, and it was earlier this summer that I decided the time had come.

The Metroid Manga: Before starting Zero Mission as my first game I read the manga so I'd get a good sense of Samus' backstory before starting. Now I knew what to roughly expect thanks to the Gamexplain movie pitch adapting much of the story, but overall I enjoyed it more than I was expecting. I probably don't need to tell you that Ridley was the absolute highlight. His pure evil is matched only by Louie from Pikmin in terms of Nintendo villains and it got me very invested in his rivalry with Samus throughout the games. Aside from that, my favourite part of the manga was Samus' characterization and her relationship with her bird dads. I have a real soft spot for all adoption related tropes so I really like the idea that Samus was taken in by what was once the most important race in the galaxy and inherited their legacy of keeping the peace, which she basically turned into a job via bounty hunting. However a lot of what the manga does is better in concept than in execution, as the art is hard to follow a lot of the time and much of the story is sped through quite quickly, no thanks to how much time is spent with the extensive cast of side characters. When Samus started her zero mission I held off on finishing the story until I played the game, and while I'm glad that they went with adapting the game at the end because we got to see a climactic fight against Ridley it is super bizarre that they didn't commit to the idea and just stopped when Samus reached Mother Brain. The manga is absolutely worth reading but best thought of as a companion to Zero Mission, probably best read afterwards.

Metroid Zero Mission: My experience with Metroidvanias was basically just Hollow Knight, the first Dark Souls, and Bloodborne, and while I was excited to experience the same sense of adventure I also feared getting lost as per this franchise's reputation. However I surprisingly managed to make my way though the whole game with only one thing I had to look up, which embarrassingly was the same mistake David Jaffe infamously made in Dread, as I failed to realize I could shoot a ceiling open even with enemies there to hint that I could. I think the game has the perfect balance between freedom and guidance as someone's first Metroid game through the chozo statues that mark your next destination without telling you how exactly to get there. Combine that with it being a remake of the first game and I think it was just the perfect game for me and anyone else to start with. My biggest issue gameplay-wise was just the fights against Mother Brain and the two black Space Pirates were very frustrating, the latter because the combat just didn't feel designed for a fight that reflex based, at least not for a newcomer. After finishing the game I felt compelled to earn the Zero Suit Samus ending, which I accomplished by constantly scouting out the optimal routes and resetting so I could get through them as fast as possible.

AM2R: I wanted to play these games in story order so I knew I had to play some version of Metroid 2 next. After trying out the original Metroid that you unlock after beating Zero Mission I figured the pre-NES games weren't going to be fun for me so I wanted to play either AM2R or Samus Returns, and I went with the former as it would be easier to find and would be closer to the game I just finished. The game is a very impressive feat for a fan-made project, though I think it was the one I had the least fun with overall. A few hours into the game I listened to the Some Call Me Johnny review which mentioned it being very hard, and that made sense considering it was a fan project by big Metroid fans for big Metroid fans, but it did result in a few of the bosses being quite frustrating with how much skill they demanded, particularly with the space jump which I struggled to understand the timing of. I didn't feel like instantly replaying it as I did with Zero Mission but I really loved how they adapted the ending.

Super Metroid: "This SNES game probably won't hold up that well right?" Thought the guy whose first console was the PS2.

Super Metroid is one of the greatest games of all time.

Metroid Fusion: I was real intrigued going into this game given what I'd heard about its linearity and extra story focus compared to the prior games but it was still a shock going straight from 2 playthroughs of Super Metroid to this. It didn't even really feel like Metroid, especially with how you were essentially playing through levels via Adam sending you through specific locations with specific tasks. Eventually I got used to it and fully accepted it as a Metroid game as I was increasingly required to be more explorative, though I think of all Metroid games I've played it has the most needlessly abstract methods for mandatory progression. The example which I eventually gave up on and looked up was the yellow Space Pirate X which which could only be damaged with a shot to the back apparently? There was seemingly no visual hints for that and the doors didn't even open if you absorbed the X before they formed the Space Pirates. While I figured out the other examples on my own I just felt I had to blow up way more seemingly random walls than normal. The bosses were generally very fun except for everything about Yakuza. A super long lead up to a boss that kept killing me super easily before I figured out how to avoid its grab attack, followed by a struggle to regain health for the ensuing SA-X encounter with how little health you get from enemies that could fly in out of nowhere and do more damage to you than you were regaining. Speaking of the SA-X, it wasn't in the game as much as I was expecting, but each encounter was quite memorable, especially when I was hiding behind power bomb blocks and it dropped a power bomb. Overall I didn't like most of this game's choices, but I like it when franchises try new things so I wouldn't say anything should have been changed except for how much health you get from enemies. This was the 2nd game I didn't feel like instantly replaying.

Metroid Prime: As of writing this I am currently a few hours into the first Metroid Prime, specifically having just gotten the boost ball. The Metroid formula was very well translated into 3D and the visuals have aged amazingly. I may be playing a remaster but most remasters still don't look this modern. But curiously this has been the Metroid game I've spent the most time away from during a playthrough, going several days without picking it up again. It's not that I dislike playing it, I just don't feel as much of a strong desire to keep coming back to it. Maybe I just feel the need to catch up on other stuff after playing so much Metroid. I do think I'll get around to playing the rest soon enough.

One of my biggest impressions overall is that Metroid is actually quite underrated despite how iconic it is. Samus seems mostly remembered as a Smash Bros character and her iconic twist as one of gaming's first female protagonists, but it doesn't seem like that many people actually play the games. It's also funny that while Samus is famous as a sex symbol in the Smash Bros and general gaming fandoms, it seems that the actual Metroid fandom prefers their Samus cooler than sexy. Anyway I'm looking forward to eventually picking up Dread, the game which first hooked my interest into this franchise, and the other 2 Prime games. Maybe I'll even pick up Other M if I see it around.

[birdmitosis]

Contraheroecho

||. General

1. 2. 6. And 11.

(You can choose which ones you want to answer or not, dw.)

[Meme here!]

Sorry this took a bit; my brain is scrampled egg lately. But I was excited to get an ask for them; I don't ever really talk about this ship!

(As a note, this is a theoretical post-canon scenario where the voices -- particularly Hero with Contrarian's 100% support -- bring one of the Narrator's Echoes back and help them get their own memories of the experience back. After a while the Echo starts just going by Echo and develops as a fairly different person from the man who died to become "the Narrator"s we see in the game. Echo also eventually starts going by they/them so those are the pronouns I'm using.)

II.1: Who initiated the relationship, and how did they go about it?

The relationship started with ContraHero; Contrarian probably started the flirting, in a fun, teasing, plausibly-deniable way, and when Hero returned it Contrarian did a lot of "well he's just having fun back" until Hero actually initiated something more unmistakable.

Hero was the first to notice that Contrarian had a thing for Echo (Echo was, in fact, convinced that Contrarian hated them and considered them an enemy), and let Connie know that was totally okay. Contrarian wasn't super great at getting this across to Echo, though, so Hero wound up having to be like "hey, you know they like you, right?" (It was not a "right" at all!) The V was a bit awkward at first and as Contrarian and Echo clumsily developed something, Hero and Echo actually wound up getting closer too, so it went from being a V to being mutual on all counts.

II.2: Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

I feel like Contrarian and Hero had a first date first, and it was something they only realized was a date partway through or in retrospect; after that, though, they set up an Official-Official First Date that was a lot more classically date-y because Hero really liked the idea of, like, A Romantic Date and Contrarian wanted to give him that despite being personally more inclined to do more off-the-wall things on dates.

When Echo got brought into things, at first it was just them and Contrarian, which was awkward at first. Echo was a bit in disbelief that Connie didn't hate them, and sometimes they bounced off each other the wrong way; their first date was actually purposefully not an Official First Date but just them doing something together with the uncertain understanding that it was a date. This one-on-one time did help make sure Echo didn't feel like a third wheel to ContraHero, though. When Hero got involved as well, Hero and Echo's first date was actually acknowledged as such and more typical of a date.

Eventually they did have an official first date with all three of them that they made sure to keep mostly casual, and it ended up not feeling as weird as any of them thought it might. (Still kinda weird, certainly, but by that point Connie and Echo had clicked a bit better so! No disasters there.)

II.6: How do their personalities complement each other? How do they clash?

Ohohoho! Here's a question.

For ContraHero, they complement each other quite a bit. They have some definite similarities in that they don't really want to hurt other people, and especially post-Stranger-ending, Connie is really trying to be more responsible while also wanting to help Hero know that he doesn't always have to be The Responsible One Who's Responsible For Everything. Connie also helps Hero relax and have fun sometimes without even meaning to, and Hero brings out the best in Connie a fair bit these days.

They do still sometimes clash on morality and common sense things; Contrarian can be a lot more careless and is pretty down on themself still and that doesn't always mesh well, and Hero hates seeing that. They also both have a bad habit of responding to stress with sarcasm, so while their fights are rare they can be pretty unpleasant for a bit.

When it comes to Echo in general... It's interesting because in this scenario, despite being a grown adult with all the memories of the (pre-Construct living) Narrator, Echo is also simultaneously learning to be a) their own person and b) an actual person who can grow and change. It takes some time and some support but they do eventually differentiate themself from the man the Narrator used to be when alive; that was a starting point for them but they're not exactly the same person, and the Echo definitely feels some distance from the memories they have of someone they both were and never really were (since from their creation they were far more limited). So in some ways, these two and even most if not all of the other voices complement Echo's personality because they're helping them change and develop as their own person.

With Contrarian specifically, Echo is learning a bit more how to relax and be a bit more spontaneous. It isn't a disaster if they're not following all the rules all the time, or even if they don't know all the rules. It's not a disaster if they smile or laugh a little sometimes. Not everything is on their shoulders redux! And with Hero specifically, Echo is getting some real support in actually being wanted as an individual; Hero puts his foot down when Echo is being a bit too much of a bastard but when they're not he's patient and they click pretty well. Echo sees Hero as the most level-headed, dependable, and in some ways safest of the other voices from the start, and Hero definitely encourages their personal growth -- and without even meaning to encourages them to start valuing all the other voices and even themself.

How they clash is very obvious. Especially at the start, Hero really has to put his foot down if Echo starts insulting any of the other voices, and is one of the main ones coming down on the "you're not better than us" thing. Echo, while having a drastically different source, is basically one of them and continuing with the same attitude as the Narrator is not gonna fly forever -- which, luckily (and unluckily), is not really likely to happen because Echo is a bit broken down by the reality of their situation (having failed and also "not being a full person" themself, which is untrue but how they think of it for a bit).

And Contrarian is overjoyed to have their "nemesis" back, but Echo takes that a bit too seriously at first and absolutely thinks Contrarian actually hates them while simultaneously thinking that Contrarian is ridiculous, impossible, frivolous, undependable, and difficult for no reason. (Noticing Contrarian's dependability is a key point for Echo's own further development as a person, not that they'd tell Connie that for a long, long time.)

II.11: Who whispers inappropriate things in the other's ear in public?

I mean, you know this has gotta be Contrarian. Connie's the only one who would do this, I think, and they'd do it to either of them.

[ghostlyheart]

hello only other person on this website who likes the apoc players. what’s your top three fave scenarios of theirs?? 🎤 the world needs to know

@downton-not-downtown-smh hello I just wanted to say that this has been sitting in my inbox for months (😬) but I've been thinking about it The Whole Time. And I'm sorry I took so long to answer!! I've been battling my own personal lovecraftian horrors this summer and have finally emerged with a shred of sanity

1. A Residence at the Bay- I loooooove this scenario so much. This was my introduction to Jamesian horror and I fully intend to go down the M.R. James rabbit hole when I have some time. I actually listened to it before A Christmas Inheritance, which left me slightly confused by the end but didn't pose a huge problem (and made going back and listening to the first scenario all the more tragic). I'm very into the atmosphere of subtle but creeping dread that culminates in the realization that things are deeply wrong but you still have no fucking clue what actually happened. I think one of the players (Danaan?) said in an Instant San Loss episode that horror is at it's best when no explanation is offered, and that definitely rings true here. This probably also has my favorite batch of characters. The way McCuthcheon, Carraig-Muir, and Lady Bjalmier play off each other is so entertaining. The balance of truly disturbing moments, heartwrenching emotion, and insane humor is perfect (and really encapsulates why I'm so drawn to this podcast in the first place). Danaan is such a wonderful keeper, and I can't wait for An Uncommon Burial!!

2. Crimson Letters- This one is so zany and over the top, and has some of the moments that have made me laugh the hardest. It sports such an iconic cast of characters who would be standouts on their own but combine forces to become an infinitely entertaining force for chaos. The guest players gel super well with the main cast and the way it keeps dragging on and on very much has up late at a sleepover energy. I'm such a sucker for classic era cthulhu and this scenario is just very very solid. I have the keeper's handbook now so I'm excited to get to actually read through it! Really hoping I can run it for my game group one day. Abner Wick is a legendary NPC and Dom in general is very good at embodying a huge cast while still making them all feel fleshed out.

3. MTSK-37- Genuinely creeps me the fuck out!!! I listened to this before reading The Colour Out of Space so I was completely lost and had no idea what the threat was supposed to be. I'm actually very happy that's the way it worked out because I think the ultimate way to experience lovecraftian horror is to be thrown into the middle of it and just let it wash over you. The intra-party conflict is so delicious and the players did such a wonderful job at adapting these pre-made characters and making them their own.

Honorable mentions go to The Crack'd and Crook'd Manse (the one that started it all 🥺), The Moonchild (still trying to figure out exactly what happened aksjsks), and Unland (completely heartbreaking)

[rimouskis]

In the interest of wanting to love life again: what was your favourite moment of the Penguins season this year? Any happy memories?

I had a really great season, man.

I saw games with seven different fandom friends and got to introduce three of them to the city for the first time. I got to see so many wins alongside them, including several friends' first pens wins. I got to watch the Pens win a Pride game, which was amazing and so fun.

I got to see Geno's 1000th game in Chicago (with my family, who'd never been to a hockey game before), and then flew back to Pittsburgh to see them celebrate it on home ice—with Geno winning it in a shootout that was probably the coolest experience I've ever had in a hockey arena.

I got to see Tanger's 1000th game and share that with a friend. Seeing the funky fun little warmups (which I missed for Geno's in Chicago because the arena workers were mean 😂) was super special and cool.

I got to go to the night of assists, which was a lifetime experience, special and made all the better by getting to share it with a fandom friend.

I got to go to a Geno fan signing with another friend, and say hi to him as he signed my jersey and thank him for signing with the pens. he said he was glad to sign, too:)

I got to live through contractgate, which was horrible-at-the-time but also a really unifying experience.

I felt a thousand, no, a million times worse when Geno pulled that dumbass "I'm gonna test free agency 💅" move this summer that made me just SOB in the arrivals lane at an airport on the very first business trip I've ever made in my career ahahaha.

and it's weird and silly, because I'm a person who really needs to reframe those upsetting moments into something good. it's how I live with them. I remember how hopeless I felt—my plane had been turned around, I was late to my first business trip ever, I was about to meet my high-powered boss in person for the first time, I was standing in the Detroit heat waiting for 45 minutes for a shuttle to take me to the grimiest hotel I've laid eyes on because my connecting flight had been delayed until the next day... and I was just crying into my mask as I tried to console my fandom friends and keep my wits about me because it kind of felt like the world was ending.

and it wasn't... about... the team. in a way it wasn't even fully down to being about geno. do not get me wrong: I was personally devastated by the idea of him not coming back. he's one of My Guys. I was in denial about what I would do if he didn't sign with the Pens. I was so torn up about it that I stayed up for hours even though I was exhausted.

but the fear that kept me up in that really weird, shitty hotel room was the thought that my fandom was going to circle the drain because of it. we saw what a ship split did to tk/np, didn't we? their situation was different from sidgeno's... they lacked the amount of history, the sheer years... but nonetheless, I'm really, really aware of how small and tight-knit our corner of hockey fandom is. I was terrified of the possibility of geno leaving and that fracturing this really beautiful chunk of the internet that I've called home for the majority of my adult life, at this point.

that didn't happen. not only did it not happen, but I was in a vacation dreamland, barely needing to work on a business trip in the most gorgeous fantasyland location I've ever seen, having impressed my boss and nailed my part of the trip. all my anxiety—over the trip, over my job, over my fandom, over geno, over sid, over my friends dealing with this—was real, but it didn't win. instead I practically experienced euphoria on the shoreline.

I remember getting the text from a friend at close to midnight or whenever it was. geno had signed. things were going to be okay. things were going to be great.

and they were. I had so much fun this season, man. I really did. I wrote 14ish new fics this season. I participated in three (four? maybe more?) fic fests. I went to so many games that I felt gluttonous about it. I talked to tons of people all over this fandom. my friendships grew stronger. I traveled to two different states to visit fandom friends. I'm flying across the ocean to see more in the coming months.

and like... that's what matters. that ACTUALLY impacts my life, more than a man leaving a team, more than a team losing games. as important as certain players or records are to me, that's all stuff I can come to accept (well... some things I can accept. I don't think I'd ever have gotten over geno had he left. I get nauseous thinking about it. let's not muse on it. it didn't happen and that's what matters).

what I wouldn't have been able to accept was this space—this fandom, this lovely little corner where we talk about and joke about and blog about and meme about and write about the pens—unraveling. I'm not naive enough to expect this place to be around forever, and it already looks radically different from what it was when I joined it, but I'm determined to help preserve it for as long as I can. I want this to be a fun space. A creative one. Someplace where we're having a good time but also talking about things that matter to us and learning about the sport.

I told you all in a post a long while ago after I went to seattle that I want to be more assertive and honest about how much online friendships mean to me. the fact that there's this online community is sick. we're all in this cool little boat together and that is impressive and interesting and unique and I love it. I love fandom, and I love THIS fandom, and I love Sid and Geno and what we do in the name of their friendship. this place has enriched my life in ways I can't even tell you about. it's so cool. it is SO cool.

so.... I don't know what else to leave you with but this picture of the coastline I sat at on a cool July night, with my career changing in amazing ways and my anxieties quelled and my body flooded with adrenaline over the news that Geno Was Back and my mind BURSTING with creativity over a new story idea that was billowing out of me like smoke.

I sat there, headphones in, a song by one of my favorite bands playing on repeat as the sun set and the world turned the most intense shade of blue I'd seen in my life. I kept mouthing along to the words—Die if I must, let my bones turn to dust, I'm the lord of the lake and I don't want to leave it.

I just couldn't get over how lucky I felt. what a life I had. what fortune had come into my life. how crazy it was that things, like they seemingly so often do, worked out.

if I REALLY wanted to be trite, I could say something right now like "well, it was about time my luck ran out." but I don't feel like it has. tonight wasn't fun, but this season isn't about tonight for me.

this season is about:

the look on my friend's face as we caught sight of Sid at the night of assists and had that christ-he's-real moment

starting a podcast with my friends and getting to create silly goofy stuff in fun new ways

my dad being kind of alarmed at me screaming down at the ice and getting to explain to my sister what a power play was

getting to boo and cheer with the fans (and my friends). during overtime and the shootout for Geno's 1001th game, and the ecstasy of him winning it all.

having players walk past me and my friends at our dinner tables randomly in the city and getting to laugh about how cool/funny an experience that is 😂

having geno help me win a game of blackjack, which will forever be one of the coolest things I've been able to experience

organizing trips for people who've never seen the city before and having them tell me how fun experiencing pgh is, which is so meaningful as someone who's done a lot of growing up here

meeting new friends, both online and in person, and getting to learn about them and write with them and create with them

writing. writing. writing. the thing I've loved to do since I was a child. the thing I want to dedicate myself even more fully to.

reading the works people in our fandom write and share, which is such an overwhelming act of community and passion that I need to remind myself of how extraordinary it is

sitting out on the edge of the water and marveling at what a life I had, literally none of it possible without fandom. nothing in my life has shaped my literal life path as much as this fandom and S+G.

this is overly sentimental and perhaps cloying, but god, do I mean it. I mean it so earnestly I can't even be embarrassed about it.

life is good. tonight was hard, and I saw things that are going to stick with me and probably upset me, but the positives outweigh the negatives as a rule in my life. I can't live otherwise. I won't tell anyone else how to deal with stress or fear, and I'm trying to get better at that, but in the meantime I'll leave you with that image of the big blue world all laid out in front of me and me feeling every feeling in the world there was to feel, because I was so overwhelmed with the previous 24 hours that it was all I could do to sit there and let it run its course.

I'm an optimist, for better or worse, because it's the way I make life bearable. and, because I'm also kind of corny, I'm going to go back to that blue dusk eating up the whole sky and melting into the water and remember how I felt.

that's why I'm here. I hope there are moments from this season that made you feel like that, too. I hope you, like me, feel that those moments greatly and meaningfully outweigh bad ones.

it was a good year. I can't wait for whatever comes next.