gard3ns-gnostic

[gard3ns-gnostic]

poem

no cw / tw but unhappy

you enjoy hugs,

physical touch is your love language

yet you are scared to be hugged

you wish to be given a genuine hug

you wish to be held

you know it’d be too much for you though

tears would welt in your eyes

the cries would be unstoppable

unable to control yourself

hugs mean alot to you

you only hug people you love

your still scared of being hugged though

you enjoy hugs, you love them

you used to give them out when you were young

they’re quite sacred to you now

you collapse under any type of affection

you aren’t used to any affection

a genuine hug would kill you emotionally.

[gard3ns-gnostic]

poem 👍

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no trigger warnings, aint that nice for once? still unhappy though

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trust isn’t something you enjoy

it haunts you to hell and back

you try to keep your trust tight-knit

but whenever someone acts like they care

you’ll collapse into their ichor covered arms

and spill every secret, every story

you attempt to seem happier

just because u hate how you trust people

you hate who you became

a person will hold their arms open for you

asking you to follow

asking you to agree

and you’ll breakdown in their arms

even if the blood running down their skin

is nobody but your owns

your trust is skewered

your scared of trusting people

but it troubles you

you wish to trust them

to let them know whats wrong

but your so scared of being hurt again

you want to be able to talk to them

everytime it chokes in your throat

you’d rather save it for another day

you dont understand yourself

you cant remember why your like this

ridden with un-trustworthiness

you used to trust them

“ be friends even after death “

but you cant get yourself to speak

you wish to be open with them

to tell them why your like this

to not mutter your issues

but everytime you try you cant

it claws you inside to not trust them

your body refuses to cooperate

you know you care about them deeply

but the one simple comment

left you hurting more then you wish to say

you blame yourself for it

the comment wasn’t too deep

but it still broke your trust

your own arms will open up

dripped with ink

just to suffocate you.

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[gard3ns-gnostic]

you gotta get a heated blanket sometime you will not regret it

i reakky want one, when im older ill get one

i also perfer to sleep in the cold lol

[gard3ns-gnostic]

Poem

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Tw; Suicide. Entire thing

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You struggle to open the bottle

Tears stream down your face

You just want it to end

The troubles you cause

The pain you deploy

It’d all be gone

Just if you could open the bottle

Anger burrows in you

No matter how much force

It stays shut

You don’t want to stay alive

You don’t need to stay alive

It hurts you to know the truth

It hurts to know only one person cares

It hurts you to realize you care abt others to much

If you could just open the bottle

Everyone’s worries would be okay

Everyone would be fine

You’d get it over with

Others would be happy

If it wasn’t for childproof caps.

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[gard3ns-gnostic]

howare you tody

i love u so much schroeder But this blog is for my poemsss

do askes on the ramble blogg :pray:

ily i promise

im good tho

[gard3ns-gnostic]

poem

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tw: SELF HARM. THE ENTIRE THINGS A SELFHARM VENT.

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can’t you notice your worse?

marks on you stain your skin

mental health drained

you got too bad

you cant relapse anymore

your hurting

no matter how much pressur

no matter how much force

you cant relapse anymore

the blade doesnt nick

the blood doesnt drip

just irritates the skin

you sit there, poor ol you

sobbing and shaking

your only reliable coping mechanism, gone

you can only relapse on riskier spots

you realized your too bad

your unable to be helped

your forever going to be alone

because at the end of the day

your too much to handle.

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[gard3ns-gnostic]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Hello.

now what are you doing on my tumblr sir! skitter to your own plot >:(

( HIII I LOVE YOU 💕💕 SORRT ID TYPE MO RE BUT IM HAVING A FLRARE UP. GOODNIGHT )

( KISSES YYOU R FOHREHEA D )

[gard3ns-gnostic]

poem

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note: this is more of a vent then a poem but its formatted like a poem, my bad

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your alone

your room a barricade

you cant seem to get up

your cat meows for you

your parents call your name

but you just want to sleep

not active at all

your hurting

you feel alone

you talk to nobody

small talk doesnt help

you beg to call somebody

nobody answers you

the phone rings

they’d rather listen to their ringtone

your a mess

tears coat your face

eyes red and puffy

its new to you

you don’t remember being able to cry

you truly dont remember this feeling

tears trace marks in your skin

loneliness kills you

you give out

you cant stand without collapsing

your vision blurry

your in constant stabs

your chronic pain is back

it ruins your life

it makes your bedrot worse

you wish for anybody to text you

for a call, a message

but nobody ever comes

besides the same one text everyday

it doesn’t help

you can’t really talk to him

you listen to music to silence everything

your only silencing yourself

you wish to hear anyones voice but your own

your issues are back

you supress them

you stay silent

you just want somebody to notice you

a message, a call

you are desperate

you begin to realize

if you went missing nobody would know

you wonder if you should

your so silent

your so secluded

people wouldn’t care.

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[gard3ns-gnostic]

i love the way you draw nepeta.. do u ever think u would draw meulin?

yuh

[gard3ns-gnostic]

poem

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a phrase you dont hear anymore

each time said broken and un-honest

a phrase you used to beg to hear

a sentence you miss

three simple words

“ i love you “

never said with a meaning

never said with a actual intent

it hurts you a bit

but you lock it up

and refuse to say those words again

you hide it away

you replaced the sentence

“ i care about you “

a sentence easier for you to know

its easier for you to not mutter

“ i care about you “

a sentence that doesnt leave heartache

a sentence you could hear

a sentence you just used to replace

a sentence people dont take as seriously

its a sentence people could say back

a sentence people dont dread

its a sentence peoole dont care about

despite how you love people

you will never hear the words

“ i love you “

ever again.

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[gard3ns-gnostic]

poem

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“i need you.”

the three words you say too quietly

the three words you mutter instead of speak

the short sentence means so much

the tiny sentence you are so afraid to tell

the sentence that makes you sick to say

your slightly unfamiliar with the sentence

youve never been told those three words

despite how you used to spill them to people

the three words means so much to somebody

the three different words make an important sentence

the three words you dont ever recall

you wish to tell people the words

to spill out how much you truly love them

but the sentence was never said back

that sentence isnt for you to hear

that sentence is just for you to say

the sentence always said with a stutter

despite your efforts you’ll never hear it

your only destined to say it,

“i need you.“

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[gard3ns-gnostic]

New yr, no me. Lmao.

[gard3ns-gnostic]

poem (ignore)

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your a tired thing

your so tired of everything

you dont want to fight anymore

your tired of yourself

your issues arent that bad,

you just need to shut up

you get reminded on why you seclude ur issues

losing all trust you had in the last person

your tired of it all

you want to go to bed to not wake up

you want to drink yourself sick

you want to cry yourself blind

your life tires you out

you want to just end it all

you have no reason to stay

you must stop being a coward

get it done and over

your able to do it

if your so tired why not prove it?

your so tempted to overdose

you dont have a reason not to

your a disappointment, a “pity party”

you dont have a good trait anymore

your a exhausted pathetic waste of a person

your so tired you try to overdose

you do anything for happiness

you give up.

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[gard3ns-gnostic]

poem

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you take a deep breath in

your anger is unbearable

your becoming a mess

your anger is breaking through to shine

you must choke it down, ignore it

you cant let it show

the anger is melting your seams

bubbling to come out

no amount of stitches can hold it

your disappointed in yourself

you’ve kept it hidden for so long

so why can’t you control it now?

your anger issues root from your father

he gave you these problems

only he may show his anger though

your anger is of a womans

unpredictable and harsh

it wants to come out

you have no outlet besides your empty chats

even then, it isn’t enough

the anger still rises with everyday

the anger refuses to simmer

it boils and chokes you

your just too close to spilling over

the anger escapes from your seams and throat

you say the words your father once told you

you realize the anger will always be rooted from him

the tone of your voice sounds like his

his anger issues are now yours

now your afraid for them to bubble out like his.

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[gard3ns-gnostic]

I DONR CARE IF THIS IS THE SEONG BLOG. DAVEPETASPRITE^2 x NEPETA MY BELOVED!!!!

[gard3ns-gnostic]

I'm giving up

I'm giving up,

I said it.

I'm giving up because it hurts

Every breath every moment

Every second I sit here hurting

You float in the back of my mind

I cant even bring myself to say help me

So maybe this time

Today I give up.

[gard3ns-gnostic]

poem

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you’ve spent nights crying over him

begging not to turn out like him

refusing to turn out like him

but yet it’s inevitable

your following his path

you betrayed yourself

a path broken and messed up

your footprints guided along

your no better then him

his addictions follow you

his anger burns in you

hes forever a part of you

you follow the stray path weakly and alone

your going to be no better then him

this was your last try

you can try to run and forget

you may try to flee his grasp

you may wish to be different

he’s forced to stay bound with you

even if he hates the kid he grew

even if he hates the one who turned out in his vision.

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