#i'm obsessed i'm so happy she looks so good

[anthropwashere]

THIS but fucking. MBTI. When I was still in the Air Force my... hell, I don't remember his position name. I'm so happy to realize I've brain dumped so much military minutiae after only three years out. Anyway. My supervisor's supervisor. This Master Sergeant (MSgt) was OBSESSED with MBTI. It was literally the first conversation I had with him when he took the position and was doing the rounds to meet all of us. We were working for a 3-letter agency AND working outside our unit in an almost wholly civilian org on top of that, so thankfully we didn't work in the same office, but good christ he took potshots at ANYBODY he ASSUMED was one flavor of alphabet soup or another that he didn't "agree with."

He did, for whatever it's worth, correctly guess my flavor of alphabet soup (I have never ever been able to remember or care what my MBTI is, it's fucking alphabet soup, leave me alone) after a 5-minute conversation. He also, however, failed to notice my far more aggressive and obvious extremely mentally and physically unwell signs thanks to my miserable recent divorce and far more miserable unfolding chronic illnesses that were going to end up with me getting a whole-ass 100% disability rank/pay with Veteran's Affairs and insisted on visiting my shit-ass cubicle EVERY. FUCKING. DAY. to CHAT. USUALLY DISCUSSING FUCKING THE MBTI OF VARIOUS OTHER DUDES IN OUR CHAIN OF COMMAND (COC). THAT I BARELY KNEW THE NAMES OF. NEVER MIND WHAT THEY LOOKED LIKE OR WHO THEY WERE AS LIKE. ACTUAL DUDES. BECAUSE. I MUST STRESS AGAIN. WE WORKED IN A MOSTLY CIVILIAN ORG. SO 90% OF THE MIL FOLK IN OUR COC DIDN'T WORK ANYWHERE NEAR ME. TO THE POINT WHERE I LITERALLY DIDN'T HAVE THE DOOR CODES TO ACCESS WHERE THEY WORKED. AND THE OTHER 10% DID LIKE. ACTUAL INTEL SHIT IN OTHER OFFICES I HAD RARELY ANY REASON TO EVER ENTER. AND THE ONES I DID HAVE REASON TO ENTER WITH MILITARY FOLK IN THEM WERE USUALLY FUCKING INSUFFERABLE. AND I AVOIDED THEM AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. SO. I DID NOT. FUCKING KNOW. WHO HE WAS. EVER!!! TALKING!!! ABOUT!!!!!

Hngh. This is why I try not to think of those awful fucking 5 years of my life. I get caps-lock-y about it. Sorry.

Anyway, this motherfucker like. Trauma bonded? To me? Because of his also miserable recent divorce? And he wanted to fuck me SO HARD while also endlessly ranting to me about MBTI horseshit 60% of every conversation we had (the other 40% and his otherwise normal behavior did actually meet me compatibly on the Normal Human Scale and we got on well, and also he was my supervisor's supervisor so like, I had to be somewhat respectful of his stupid MSgt rank). It was an exhausting fucking. What. 8 months? A full year? MBTI this. MBTI that. Etc. Etc. Etc. ETC.!!!!!!

Anyway the SECOND I said "asexual" he entirely quit talking to me entirely, so I guess that's something.

Secondary anyway birthstone-obsessed people are wild to me. Us March folks got royally fucked over by boring-ass AQUAMARINE and you expect me to take that stuff seriously? Lol

Thirdly anyway I haven't dealt with any hardcore astrology people since high school, but she was my friend's mom and she and her husband were honestly the best role models in my life at that age? To the point my shit-fucking-terrible mom resented her otherwise a-okay positivity in my life for like? A decade?? Hell, she probably still does. It's wild how many times I had to remind my Chronic Gaslighting Bitch of a mom, "I haven't talked to Betty since I was 18, WHAT are you talking about."

Fourthly anyway shout-out to Civilian Megan (whose spelling variation I can never remember on account of having one of those Normal White American Girl names with 50 spelling variations, even with her full name on a paper name plate) who sat across from me and went out of her way to save me from Awkward Lengthy conversations with MSgt MBTI and SSgt Marvel Movies Nerd every goddamn day, she was a real one and I should probably shoot her a 'hi how are you' message on Steam today

“Bat swinging at wasp nest” post but I cannot be nice about astrology people. No you did not find the one good or cute or quirky way to believe the quality of someone’s character is biologically pre-determined. Just because you found a way to not base it on race or ethnicity or gender does not make judging someone’s character on an innate and uncontrolled attribute suddenly teehee fine.

I’m even more baffled by the people going “it’s just fun!” “It’s just a hobby!!” Sure if it was something harmless. It’s not. We are quite literally talking about how you intend to judge, treat, view, respect, and interact with someone entirely differently based on an inherent trait. How are you not aghast? How are you not embarrassed? Why are you so insistent on needing to operate on a hierarchy of pre-determined character judgement?

[empressofthewind]

Rating Reactions to Seeing Shinigami for the First Time

A comprehensive (and probably biased) list :-)

~~~

Chapter 1 - Light

Falls on the floor and screams, then recomposes himself and very unconvincingly pretends he expected this. This is the first we get to see of Light's Perfectly Normal And Chill Guy persona and I have to say it's not a strong introduction to his acting skills. He gets points for entertainment value though, and also for managing to scream without attracting the attention of his family???

Rating: 8/10

~~~

Chapter 7 - Kiichiro Osoreda

This is the guy who performs the bus-jacking that forces Raye to show his ID. It's a very entertaining scene, but he's being controlled and his reaction is therefore inauthentic, which makes it difficult to give him an accurate rating.

Rating: 0/10

~~~

Chapter 26 - L

This one doesn't technically count because L is merely hearing about Shinigami rather than seeing one, but it's too good not to include. He silently falls off his chair while actively solving a murder case in which the main cause of death has been heart attacks. Naturally the entire task force panics and thinks he's dying, and he does nothing to assuage these concerns. Absolutely iconic of him. Also makes for brilliant foreshadowing.

Rating: 10/10

~~~

Chapter 46 - Misa

We don't get to see Misa's very first reaction to meeting Rem, but we DO see their reunion during the Yotsuba arc, and she is horrified. She screams just like Light and L did, and her fear persists as long as Rem's hand is covering her mouth. She reacts pretty much how I would expect the average person to.

Rating: 5/10

~~~

Chapter 53 - Soichiro

Another pretty standard reaction. Falls backwards, screams and immediately reaches for his gun. Nothing remarkable about it.

Rating: 3/10

~~~

Chapter 53 - Aizawa

Exact same reaction as Soichiro, but he gets extra points because this panel of them both panting on the floor is utterly delightful. The eyes?? The pose???? They look like a pair of petrified crabs. I'm obsessed.

Rating: 8/10

~~~

Chapter 53 - L (again)

L has heard that Shinigami exist and already knows that there's a "monster" attached to the notebook, so he's not surprised at all by the time he actually sees Rem. Instead, he starts having such an intense and paralysing epiphany that he doesn't even notice Light taking the Death Note from him. The least dramatic reaction so far but incredibly on-brand for him in every way.

Rating: 6/10

~~~

Chapter 70 - Rod Ross

Freaks out once he actually sees Sidoh, but he's incredibly relaxed about the notebook flying beforehand. His line "I wouldn't be surprised if it's alive" is hilariously ironic given that the notebook does turn out to have a living component to it, and this does, in fact, surprise him.

Rating: 7/10

~~~

Chapter 70 - Kal Snydar

One of my favourite reactions purely for the implication that Rod might have recruited an 8-foot-tall man in a monster costume. Perfectly reasonable assumption to make.

Rating: 9/10

~~~

Chapter 70 - Mello

Much like L, everyone around him is panicking, but he stays impressively nonchalant. Immediately starts plotting ways to manipulate the demon creature for his own gain. This is essentially L's reaction if he was 90% more unhinged.

Rating: 10/10

~~~

Chapter 101 - Near

Only character to look genuinely happy about seeing the Shinigami which is an instant 10 for me. He gets an extra point for having the most precious smile ever <3

Rating: 11/10

[misseviehyde]

BROKEN HEARTED

I would have done anything to make my friend Joe happy after his girlfriend dumped him, but soon I regretted ever giving him the Elixir.

My family had told me to keep the formula safe and never to make or use it unecessarily, but Joe had been through so much pain, I just wanted to make him smile again. I also perhaps selfishly thought perhaps Joe might want to date me once he was female... perhaps we could make the perfect couple?

The fact was Joe couldn't live without his stylish sexy girlfriend. His house was still full of her clothes and makeup. She had been a high maintenance bitch who had gaslit and treated him like shit. I suppose in hindsight, perhaps I should have realised Joe's feminine side might turn out just like her.

Joe was interested in trying the Elixir and becoming someone else... anything that would make the pain go away. He eagerly drank at my suggestion and I watched fascinated as he transformed.

Right in front of my eyes, my kind, sensitive friend morphed into a beautiful haughty bitch and there was nothing I could do but watch as Josie Hyde was born.

Josie was somewhat like Joe, but perfected in physical beauty. Her skin was creamy white and completely flawless, her eyes were beautiful but heartless and cruel. Josie's long dark hair was silky and perfect, her proportions womanly, her breasts, her waist, her legs all the perfect size. She was like a statue of a Goddess.

Josie looked good in anything. She effortlessly slipped into the designer dresses and stylish shoes of the former ex girlfriend. She made those clothes look even better on her!

Josie had soon mastered expensive makeup and jewellery. Indeed, she had a taste for the expensive... designer handbags and clothes, diamond jewellery and expensive fur coats.

Her face was like a beautiful mask, she hardly ever smiled but looked out at the world with a smug delight, knowing she was superior and men wanted her. Josie would snap her manicured fingers and expect me to come running. She had accepted my offer of a date, but being her boyfriend mainly seemed to consist of buying her things and carrying her bags.

When she turned back into Joe, he was no longer heartbroken. Instead he was now obessesed with Josie and he merely counted the seconds till he could become her again. Good thing too. He looked kind of weird walking around with five hundred dollar manicures welded to his nails and smelling of Chanel perfume.

His obession for Josie seemed to result in him selling his own clothes and filling his wardrobe with hers. He began wearing panties and a bra all of the time and adopting more and more of her bitchy mannerisms. It was like she was controlling him, even when he was male. She was like the worst toxic girlfriend ever, even worse than his ex.

And at least I thougnt even if his ex had turned up he would probably have ignored her with his new obsessions... or at least so I thought. I was so fucking wrong.

One day I entered a restaurant to see a table of women having brunch and recognised Josie sat with Joe's ex. They were laughing and talking about how pathetic their ex or current boyfriends were.

Josie and Joe's ex were now besties. Evil smirking bitches who delighted in using men for their own twisted needs. Joe had gotten his girl back, but now as his hot best friend. Josie and his toxic ex were just going to make each other even worse.

I walked in to try and do somethjng, but Josie saw me and without stopping or showing any shame, she laughed and told her friends how her current boyfriend was a total simp who would do whatever she wanted and she was actually fucking other guys.

As she said it, I saw her smile... and it made me shiver. I realised in that instant that Josie was using me and that I had created a monster.

"Like, tonight I'm totally going home with that hot black waiter. His big cock is gonna look so hot in my mouth. My loser boyfriend couldn't stop me if he tried."

And even though I knew it was true and she wasn't bluffing, I also knew she was right about one thing. Tonight Josie would be fucking another man and I would sit obediently next door and do my chores like a good boy. I'd listen to her getting railed half naked in lingerie on our bed, panting as big dick split her in half. I'd never even got to see her pussy...

Tomorrow even Joe would look at me with contempt. He too was Josie's submissive slave, she had control of all the men in her life.

As I realised I meant nothing to her and never would, I began to cry. Now I was the one with the broken heart and there was nothing I could do about it...

[yamsgarden]

Damn... Learning about my past through a crazy ex childhood friend's ex was not on my 2024 bingo card...

nw they don't use tumblr, they don't even know what tumblr is so, i'm just gonna vent here for 2 secs because holy shit...

It's just so weird to have to continue life as if everything's normal OTL

I swear to god my life feels like a movie sometimes-- does that happen to everyone?!

Gonna spare the really fucked up details, but basically, an old gang of 6 friends and I (minus the crazy one), have finally reunited yesterday. It had been a year since we didn't see each other, but yesterday, ouhhh so many dark confessions happened OTL

There's a lot to unpack here, but for short, that crazy ex childhood friend had insanely awful jealousy problems and it consumed her. At first she looked fine, but with time it was clear that she was also obsess with men's attention and unfaithful and flirted with her ex's best friend or any guys...

She wanted us to guess how she felt and what she wanted us to do for her, without telling us. She was the one causing huge drama all the time, but she was still somehow the victim...

Basically, that person who once brought all of us together, managed to ruin all of her relationship with all 6 of us. Now we all came back together and our disdain for her, has only brought us closer...

All this situation shocks me, because that ex friend used to tell me how much she was so scared to end up alone... Then she spent months and months making me feel horrible and rejected and hated. She also told me many times how ''her traumas and problems were worst than mine''...

At some point, I finally cut ties with her for good, but I was worry she put up everyone else against me, so I left and didn't want to cause trouble for the rest of the gang.

She was really keeping us altogether out of fear of ending up alone, rather than keeping us altogether out of love...

But now, I guess... Look at who's ended up all alone afterall.

I'm so happy we finally told each other and now, we can all start healing together... It means so much to realized that all this time, they actually never wanted me to leave because of the other crazy fucked up one, but they were too scared of her reaction... They even told me yesterday how they want me back and they want me to stay... Ugh, my heart OTL

We were all too nice to say anything, and in the process we let her hurt us.

But yeah, I guess... Really do be careful who you let in your life OTL Some ppl really do are fake friends and they hate you with a passion but they will still keep you around because they got nobody else.

[carrottheluvmachine]

Help me move to Scotland to be with the one I love

Hello, my name is Colie and I'm trying to raise the money needed to be able to apply for a partner visa to go and live with my girlfriend in Scotland.

3 years ago, my life was in a hellish place. My step-dad, the greatest person I have ever known, was diagnosed with cancer and put on hospice care. He took me in when I had to leave my old life behind me; when I lost my home in New York and had no where else to turn to. He accepted my 3 elderly cats and cared for them like they were his own. Although he came into my life late, he acted as a father and a friend to me.

In August of 2021, right as my step-dad was diagnosed, I met the love of my life. I wasn't looking for love. I was searching for a writing partner and she came along. 2 weeks later, I told her I thought I might be in love with her, and to my surprise she said she felt the same way.

Steph was there for me as my step-dad grew weaker and weaker. She was the first person I told the morning when he passed away. I helped my mother care for him in his last days. I listened obsessively at the wall between our bedrooms for his last breaths. To this day, I still refuse to go into the spare bedroom where he passed away. I am traumatized, I am broken, but to Steph I am so much more. She was there for me to lean on whenever I needed her. She cheered me up with her silly puns. She made me smile and she reassured me that I was worth loving.

My life has never been easy, but the easiest thing in it has always been Steph. I knew right away that I loved her. I admired her from the first moment I met her. She stuck by my side despite my disabilities, despite my losses, despite my will to end it all.

I have severe anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorder. Because of this, it has never been easy for me to keep down a job. Because I have never been able to hold down a job, I have been living off the good graces of others and cannot afford therapy. Only recently did I find a way to receive remote therapy and I'm working to improve myself.

I have lived a sheltered life since moving down here to Florida. I lost everything I ever knew in New York. I have seen family members only a handful of times in the past 11 years, and I haven't visited any of my friends since. I have lost touch with the people I called my friends back home, and I haven't been able to make new friends down here.

It's a different world here, and I am very fearful as a gay person in a red state. I do not tell anyone that I'm gay because I fear for my life here. Especially after the 2024 election results.

I have become a recluse who has nothing but her online friends, her mother, and her cats. The one shining light in all of my life has been Steph. We were able to meet in the summer of 2023 and I flew to Scotland to be with her. For the first time in my life, I was living and doing what I wanted to do. I was happy. I smiled every single day. I was traveling outside and seeing things I've never seen before, all with the person I loved most in the world. At the end of my trip, Steph turned to me and said "So, what do you think about living here?" and I swear to you, I've never smiled brighter.

The reason I have started this campaign is because of the financial requirements to obtain a visa to move to the UK. The financial requirement is £29k, which is roughly $37k USD. Steph just graduated from university with a degree in screenwriting, but she has yet to find a job in her field. For the time being, she's working in childcare, which she also has a degree in, but it does not make the kind of money needed to sponsor me for a visa.

Our choices were either to make the 29k annually, or to have 31k in savings (equating roughly to 39k USD) so that I could apply for a visa stay support both of us for 2 years before I would have to apply again. Unfortunately, the income earned cannot be combined with any savings to meet the financial requirement. The requirement also does not allow me to contribute with a US income, as the person who is responsible for sponsoring me has to be the one earning the money because I won't be able to work in the UK until I have a spouse visa.

It is incredibly difficult not seeing the one you love day in and day out. My life has never been easy, as I said before, but I feel as if it has been put on pause ever since I was forced out of my home to come and live in Florida. I haven't been living, I have been surviving.

I want to live again, and I want to live with the girl I love.

Please, if you can, donate. Even if it's just a dollar, anything helps. Please help my dreams come true.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

~Colie

Link to gofundme

If you could reblog this post, I would greatly appreciate it!

[zukazukazuka]

Serika Toa first visual for RAZZLE DAZZLE

[mewnoroma]

Hi quick question: what the fuck is going on with her roots

I like that she grows (??? | Eigong are those growing on their own or are you just implanting more because you're insane) more as time passes, but I'm also curious in what that other part on her head is. It's attached(?) to her stabilizer so I assume that she added that later (maybe when she attached the first root, assumedly the one coming out of the top of her head)...actually semi-related question, did she ever have rejections or shit from just implanting the roots on her head like this? Hrm...

[mineonmain]

The Eighth Sense Ep 9 aka...

...this is basically what happened right

[whereisthedamndaddymanual]

Sometimes I wonder about worms. Like where the fuck do they come from. You can dig and find them but it isn't like there are tunnels, they are just there, snails pace serpentine through the dirt and granules. At a depth shallow enough the dirt above doesn't crush them, yet deep enough you gotta dig a bit to really find them down there.

Just squirming and waiting to get hooked in some fish on a time waxing off the full moon.

[bringbackgoth]

Daisy is so fucking adorable. It looks like I'll be driving her out to Seattle in late September to go to her forever-home, so I get to enjoy her for another few months.

[aelswiths]

Aelswith in 1x07

For @jeynepoole, @volvaaslaug, @kingslionheart, @aadmelioraa, @wildwren, @ivarthebadbitch

[thatscarletflycatcher]

If Percival and Nadine was to have a contemporary ya romance name (the typical of non-fantasy, non-myth retelling, non-spec novels, I mean), it would have to be something involving a metaphor of light.

That dark neo-noir radio drama starring David Morrissey (it IS really dark. The lengths I'll go to just hear the interpretative power of his voice. Anyways), called Don't Hold Back the Light keeps coming to mind again and again. The imagery of dawn and sunrise keeps coming to me, in part through the songs I feel fit the story in partial ways (Keane's Bend and Break, Rick Astley's Rise Up, James Blunt's Bonfire Heart, even the melody of Lionel Ritchie's Stuck on You), but also because it feels thematically pertinent.

Both find themselves in night, not only in the despair, and tiredness, and hurt and brokenness, but on the idea that they had their day in the Sun, as life is metaphorically a day, and that it is over, and yet they linger. BUT where they are at the beginning, the idea of a new day sounds scary. And exhausting. There's a sliver of hope deep, deep down, like a candle on a window in a faraway house in the middle of nowhere. But for the most part, they'd like to hold it back if they could. And yet that feels wrong to them.

[happybunnykat]

Here's the video, where I put a timer in the corner for how long into the video it takes for Sora to smile. (Spoiler, it's about halfway in, so about 40 seconds. I may do this again but like. Timing only the points where Sora is shown.)

@transpanda-1 here you go!

[harrysfolklore]

Could you do nailea devora as a face claim? Please and thank you<3

mi bonita - fc43

summary: franco can't stop flirting with a pretty journalist. he has no idea she's lando norris' sister folkie radio: MY FIRST FRANCO FIC!!! that little argentinian man completely charmed me and now i'm obsessed with him. i hope you like this!

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

liked by landonorris, lilyzneimer and 178,530 others

ynnorris summer break was nice, now let’s get back to work 😁

view all comments

username1 SO PRETTY

username2 whats up with the norris genes

username3 she’s pretty, she has a journalism degree and she’s lando norris’ sister, it girl

iamrebeccad 😍😍😍

olliebearman Miss youuu

↳ ynnorris you’ll see me every weekend next year, formula 1 driver

↳ username1 their friendship >>>>

username4 the superior norris for real

georgerussell63 Ready to be terrorized by you in the media pen for ten more race weekends

↳ ynnorris you love me

↳ username2 HEEEELP 😭

landonorris Let’s gooo

↳ ynnorris no one knows you

↳ username3 best siblings ever

liked by olliebearman, ynnorris and 328,638 others

francolapinto Empieza el sueño 🥺 @williamsracing Can’t wait to bring it to Monza

view all comments

username1 VAMOS

username2 okay i like him already

username3 i still miss logan but im so happy for him

williamsracing 💙💙

alex_albon Welcome mate 🙌🙌

username4 HES SO CUTE HELLO

username5 another latino is just what the grid needed

username6 I STAN

username7 most of you are new to the franco colapinto agenda but i’ve been here for a long time y’all are not ready

↳ username1 i can’t wait for people to realize he’s a menace

ynnorris welcome to f1 😁😁 see you at the media pen!

↳ francolapinto That’s what I’m looking forward to the most 😉 see you hermosa

↳ username1 HELP????

↳ username2 WELL THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY

↳ username3 DOES HE KNOW THATS LANDO’S SISTER

↳ username4 oh i can’t wait to see how this unfolds

liked by francolapinto, landonorris and 182,378 others

ynnorris monza time 🇮🇹🇮🇹

view all comments

username1 STUNNING

username2 it girl

carmenmmundt Pretty girl ✨✨

username3 this is how you nepotism

username4 drop the skin care routine queen

yukitsunoda0511 You’re the only one allowed to interview me ever

↳ yourinstagram 😭😭 love you

↳ username1 HEELP

username5 oh to be her

username6 lando and yn norris are the moment

francolapinto 😍😍😍😍

francolapinto Can’t wait to meet you bonita

↳ username1 FRANCO 😭😭

↳ username2 seriously does franco know this is lando’s sister

↳ username3 franco is such a menace and his first race hasn’t even happened yet

↳ username4 SOMEONE MEDIA TRAIN THIS MAN

↳ ynnorris 😚

landonorris ????

↳ ynnorris what’s your deal

↳ landonorris I don’t get some of these comments

↳ username1 THEY’RE SO 😭

↳ username2 yn lives to piss lando off

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

[la mas bonita= the prettiest] [no hablo ingles= i don’t speak english] [lo siento mucho = im so sorry]

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

liked by francolapinto, lilyhme and 187,638 others

ynnorris does anybody know a good spanish teacher?

view all comments

username1 HEEEELP

username2 IT GIRL FR

alexandrasaintmleux 😍😍😍

username3 she’s going to give lando a heart attack

username4 SHES JUST AS MESSY AS LANDO

redbullracing We see a Redbull 👀

↳ ynnorris omg don’t tell the mclaren admin

username5 @francolapinto go for it dude

maxverstappen1 The drink >>>>

↳ ynnorris don’t let it get to your head

landonorris Carlos and Fernando can teach you no need to look for tEaChErS

↳ username1 HEEEEELPPP

↳ username2 THIS IS SO 😭😭

landonorris or Checo

↳ username1 YOU KNOW ITS BAD WHEN HE SIDES WITH CHECO

ynnorris choosing to ignore my brother thanks !

francolapinto I volunteer 😍😍😍😍

↳ username1 FRANCO 😭

↳ username2 that’s my boy

↳ username3 HE GOT BALLS

francolapinto La mas bonita 😍

↳ ynnorris 😚😚

↳ username1 LANDO IS GOING TO THROW UP

↳ ynnorris i blocked him

liked by ynnorris, alex_albon and 398,736 others

francolapinto Ready for Baku 😉

view all comments

username1 BARKING RN

username2 his first f1 points incoming

username3 how is this man so hot

williamsracing 💙💙💙

username4 ready to watch him rizz yn again

↳ username1 i don’t think he’ll do that again lando already called him out 😭

username5 DONT EVER LEAVE THE GRID

olliebearman 🙌

username6 hide from lando

carlossainz55 See you there

↳ username1 HELP IM PRETTY SURE LANDO TYPED THIS

landonorris SEE YOU

↳ username2 HE IS SO ANNOYING 😭😭😭

↳ francolapinto 😅😅😅

ynnorris Bonitooooo

↳ username1 PAUSE

↳ username2 SHES AS MESSY AS HIM

↳ francolapinto My heart just stopped 😍

↳ username3 GET A ROOM

↳ landonorris I think both of you should get different jobs

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

[the prettiest interviewer wished me luck so i should do good]

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

liked my francolapinto, lilyzneimer and 194,368 others

ynnorris baku ! let’s have some fun 😚

view all comments

username1 PRETTY GIRLLLL

username2 she’s wearing blue for williams i don’t make the rules

f1 ❤️

alexandrasaintmleux prettiest ❤️‍🔥

username3 FRANCO COLAPOINTS COME ON

username4 she has the coolest job ever

olliebearman 🙌🙌

username5 notice that lando didn’t like this she fr blocked him 😭

username6 ready to watch franco rizz her left and right again

username7 FRANCO YOU BETTER SCORE POINTS

username8 drop the haircare routine queen

francolapinto 😍😍😍😍

francolapinto La mas bonita

francolapinto This is my new lockscreen

↳ username1 FRANCOOOO

↳ username2 HES SHAMELESS

↳ ynnorris 🥰🥰🥰

carlossainz55 I showed this comment section to Lando

↳ ynnorris and now you’re blocked too!

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

liked by oscarpiastri, ynnorris and 401,278 others

francolapinto What a day in Azerbaijan! Huge thanks to the entire team for their incredible work and strategy. This is just the beginning - we're coming for more! 💪

P.S. Special thanks to @/ynnorris for the motivation 😉 and @/landonorris for the... err... brotherly encouragement? 😅 Turns out scoring points is easier than navigating Norris family dynamics

view all comments

username1 FRANCO COLAPOINTSSSS

username2 ICONIC

username3 NOT THE NORRIS SHOUTOUT

williamsracing Great day 🙌🙌

username4 NOW HIM AND YN NEED TO GO ON A DATE

alex_albon Let’s gooo 💪

username5 YN NORRIS AND FRANCO COLAPINTO WORLD DOMINATION IDC

username6 if they don’t go on a date istg

username7 THE MAN THAT YOU ARE

username8 franco colapinto let me be your woman

landonorris You’re still on my watch kid

↳ username1 HEEELP

↳ francolapinto 😩😩

ynnorris sooo when are we going on that date?

↳ username1 OMFGGGG YES YES

↳ username2 WE CHEERED

↳ francolapinto I’ll pick you up tomorrow bonita

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ynnorris he’s a cutieeee what can i say 🤏

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username1 AHHHHH

username2 IT COUPLE ALREADY

username3 lando is not going to like this 😭

lilymhe 🤍🤍

username4 IT HAPPENED

username5 franco is proof that with rizz and a dream you can get anyone

georgerussell63 👀

username6 THIS MENACES TOGETHER IS THE BEST THING EVER

username7 SOMEONE CHECK ON LANDO

carlossainz55 Lando kindly asks that you unblock him

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francolapinto Mi bonita 😍😍😍

↳ username1 that’s his nickname for her 🥺

↳ username2 LOVE THEM

↳ ynnorris 😚

[sophiamcdougall]

I am never going to complain about Greek Duolingo again

I mean, I am. But still.

So, as some of you know, my family has been coming to this tiny Greek seaside village for several years. Just over a week ago I came out here with my mum, under the impression that early September, after the height of the summer heat, would be a good time to have a holiday. ANYWAY Storm Daniel had other ideas about that. Locally things are improving (I'm actually really pissed off about the disaster-porn tone of most English-language media coverage, but that's another post). The power is back on, there's running water most of the time, and though the latter is not drinkable, a truck from the government came and handled out free bottled water yesterday. But we are currently kind of stuck. Can't do tourist things. Can't go home. There aren't any local flights out until Saturday and the road to Thessaloniki is still closed.

So this evening, feeling kind of aimless and depressed, I go down to the nearest beach with a couple of binbags and start cleaning up in an effort to at least do something positive. I always try to do this at least once out here and obviously, after the storm, there's a lot more plastic and rubbish than usual.

At some point I find this large, round bit of metal - some kind of machinery part, I think -- that's too big for the bag, so I take it to the bins on its own, leaving the rubbish bag on the beach. And when I come back for it, something among the stones beside it moves.

Specifically, it pulls its head sharply inside its shell

So, meanwhile I've been trying to learn some Greek with the help of Duolingo.

I currently have a 33-day streak and... I have questions. Shouldn't I be able to use the past or future tenses by now? Shouldn't I be able to say "x is like y"? I can't do those things. But one thing I absolutely can say all day long is έχω μια χελώνα : I have a turtle.

This is far from the limit of Duolingo Greek's turtle-related content. "An obsession with turtles" is my mother's characterisation. I can inform you that the turtle is not a bird, and, improbably, that the turtle is drinking milk. I can introduce you to a turtle in company with a horse and an elephant. As far as Duolingo is concerned, it really is turtles all the way down.

Now this, you may be able to see, is not a turtle. It has claws rather than flippers. It is a tortoise. I know there are wild tortoises in Greece: my aunt once rescued a pair of them shagging in the middle of the road -- but that was up in the mountains. I've even seen one myself, but it was also on a road and very dead.

I am 95% certain they don't belong on beaches. There's nothing for it to eat, except, unfortunately, a lot of plastic. Even if it gets off the beach it will immediately find itself on a road where it could get hit by a car. I'm pretty sure it must have been washed down by the floodwater and has been just sitting there, dazed, ever since.

Now obviously the first thing I want to do on encountering this unusual animal is to go and tell my mummy, so I do. The tortoise immediately brightens her day. She agrees that the tortoise is not happy on the beach and needs to be taken somewhere safe. it gets surprisingly wriggly when picked up so we put it in a carrier bag with some grapes and cucumber and go looking for somewhere to rehome it.

We find a path leading up between the houses towards a likely-looking field, but before we get very far a dog in a yard goes berserk and a man's head pops over a fence and demands to know what we're doing. He does this in English, as evidently we're just that obviously tourists.

"I found a tortoise on the beach!" I explain. "We want to find somewhere to put it."

"A what," he asks.

"It's like a, you know," I begin and then to my astonishment I find myself saying... "μια χελώνα"

"Oh! A turtle!" he says.

"But from the land. δεν είναι χελώνα", [it is not a turtle,] I say, as I am worried he will tell me to put it back near the sea where I found it. As it turns out it actually IS a χελώνα, Greek does not distinguish between turtles and tortoises, but I don't know that; I can't even name the days of the week or identify any colours other than pink yet, give me a break.

The man's entire demeanour changes and thaws. He does not worry about my turtle-that-is-not-a-turtle conundrum. He knows where οι χελώνες come from and where η χελώνα μας belongs. He leads us through a gate into a courtyard area.

"[somethingsomething] μια χελώνα," he explains to the assembled onlookers, of whom there are, suddenly, a surprising number.

"ΜΙΑ ΧΕΛΩΝΑ!!!" crows the throng of delighted small children, who are, suddenly, everywhere.

"μια χελώνα!" I agree, accepting that at least for current purposes, that is what it is.

"Μπορούμε να δούμε τη χελώνα σας; [can we see your turtle?]" asks an adorable little girl, shyly, and I understand??

The children fucking love looking at the χελώνα and showing it to them is kind of magical?

I finally put the tortoise down on the grass of this wild area off to the side of the courtyard, and marvel aloud that it is weird that I barely know any Greek except how to say μια χελώνα.

"I think she will soon run off," a kind lady called Aspasia assures me, seeing I remain slightly anxious about its fate. "I don't know why I'm saying 'she'. I suppose because χελώνα is feminine in Greek."

"Yes! I know that!" I exclaim, thrilled.

"Well done!" she says. And also she asks if we are OK for drinking water after the storm and if we need any help with anything and is just generally incredibly lovely and now we know more of the neighbours!

So "μια χελώνα" has just become, by a long way, my most-used and most understood and all-around most conversationally successful phrase in Greek. So I guess I have to admit I was wrong to doubt Duolingo's wisdom: it is correct to be obsessed with turtles. And I concede that prior to learning how to count to ten or to distinguish right from left, the simple ability to yell the word TURTLE over and over again is, it turns out, a crucial element of the responsible traveller's social skills.

(I am pretty fluent in Italian and turtles haven't come up in conversation even once?)

[mirokuna-hime]

I was about to become very depressed again and thought about how no one likes me and that I have completely accepted that the issue is my personality and that's why no one is capable of loving me

Then someone knocked on my door and invited me to pottery :')