#i'm not religious anymore

[genghisthebrain]

that feeling when you find something you thought was lost forever >>>>>

[spencecreates]

I hope when Mary got to heaven that her son greeted her open armed and I hope he still calls her mother and lets her kiss his head and brush his hair from his face to see it as radiant and perfect as the day he was born.

I hope that when Joseph saw his son in heaven that he ran to him and hugged him like the boy he knew and I hope he looks into those eyes so much like his wife's while his heart swells with the pride and love a father can have for his son.

I hope Jesus sits with his parents and listens to their stories of his youth, so much more real and personal than anyone else could ever know about a sacrificial lamb. I hope his friends are there for another dinner and there is laughter echoing in the clouds so loudly we hear the echoes in the thunder down here.

[thewriterofdesperation]

Conversations, in the quiet hour

"You trusted me once"

"I tried to, after it all. Pain shoved so far down, I forgot what you allowed, what horrors in the dark are permissible in your world."

"Why did you stop?"

"I remembered. Or started to, in small ways. It has happened to 6 others in my life, 3 more were hurt in similar ways. Even if I were to disregard myself, you allowed it to happen to half of the people I love. HALF. What excuse can you make for that?"

"I am a man of peace, and forgiveness. Ideals the idea of you instilled within me. And yet, like yourself, fury boils beneath the skin, just ever so concealed in vacuous smiles and charming eyes. There is nothing I would not do for those I love, and you are the first condemned by that."

"I tried to love the idea of you again, to believe that there was some reason a creator would not interfere. I am an educated man, one who understands the many arguments we can have about your supposed power or love or knowledge. It doesn't matter."

"You allowed it to happen, for one reason or another. Not once, but six times. To people who have already felt misery, to people who's hearts I have watched fractured and rebuilt and fractured once more. I have held each of them in my arms and offered what small comfort I can. Where were you in those moments?"

"I love you all. I did what I could, and it pains me that I could not do more"

"Your incapacity for action to stop it is bad enough, your silence was always worse. I looked for signs for years, anything I could. I tried to attribute any good thing as some kind of blessing - as if it would ever make a difference - but I came to one conclusion in the end. You could exist, you could even love us" "But I could never love you. He who would stand upon the sidelines and allow this misery with the promise of a reward at the end if we behave, as if we have not suffered enough without following unbending rules that condemn people for the simple act of their existence."

"I don't care about the arguments anymore. I don't care about salvation. I care about my friends, and my family. I care about those who I have helped and those that have helped me. Those that bear the brunt of the pain you have allowed, and those that forever wear the silver lines of scars because of your ambivelence"

"Your inaction was always a choice, and it is one I will condemn you for in my dying breath."

[vulpixelates]

i know it will never happen but i so desperately desire an origins-type playable backstory thing in all games but especially veilguard. i feel like it added so much depth to origins and made you feel instantly connected to your character in a way that gets lost in games like inquisition where you fill in the blanks as you go except for the bare basics. like, i do enjoy the freedom to willy nilly decide where a character was before the events of the story from a creative perspective, but the playable origins were just so good! especially when you go back to where your warden is from and can engage differently with the arcs there

[shinesurge]

everybody's fighting god in a parking lot until god's pr team invents a cute enough mascot i guess

[betweensaintsandmonsters]

okay okay vampire obi-wan and anemic human anakin who goes to be his meal at like a fancy vampire bistro that pays willing humans to "donate" blood (get bitten) and tastes like shit whomst obi-wan then tries to take care of (in all the ways he can from sunset to sunrise) first so his food tastes good (bc anakin keeps coming back) and then because he cares

sends cookbooks to his apartment, tries to get him to go to the doctor, sends him other little gifts when he sees thinks that make him think of anakin, obi-wan just like wants to take care of his boy because he's clearly not taking care of himself (he signed up to be vampire food so that much should have been obvious) and obi-wan just wants him well is that too much to ask?

they fight about this often. (first: "how did you get my address?" "It's on the form you filled out to be here" "invasion of privacy much?" then: "you could always just... choose someone else?" "and let another vampire suffer from your lack of self care? absolutely not."") ("i don't know why you're putting so much into this? "i must have nothing else to do.") ("if this bothers you so much... just let someone else feed off me." "no.")

anakin stops showing up to be dinner for a few weeks and obi-wan gets worried. but he's not sure how far he's allowed to go in his worry, they're technically just... predator and prey (though obi-wan wouldn't describe them like that) it's just that no one tastes like anakin (that's definitely it) and nobody sasses him like anakin, and nobody is anakin and anakin is missing and clearly if he's been gone this long he can't possibly be okay

(and obi-wan is right, anakin isn't okay. he's in the hospital with an arm that might need to be amputated (but it was obi-wan's favorite place to drink from since he won't touch anakin's neck for reasons he WON'T explain)

(if you asked obi-wan why he didn't bite anakin's neck to begin with, he'd heavily imply there's no reason, but when pressed, it would be that anakin let's out this breathy moan when he's bitten, and it's music to obi-wan's ears, a symphony to his soul, he doesn't think he'd survive it if that was right in his ear, he'd have to kiss the boy then and there, have to keep him, and he can't do that, so his neck is off limits. it is IMPERATIVE anakin does not know this)

and he's lost a lot of blood and he's suffering and not alone because ahsoka and padme keep visiting, but he doesn't know how much he misses obi-wan until he isn't seeing him)

so one night obi-wan goes to anakin's apartment to see he isn't there and hasn't been there in weeks based on sent, and panics because what if he drove his beautiful boy away, or what if someone went after him, and obi-wan can't go in bc vampire rules say he needs permission and also it's good manners.

eventually anakin comes back to him, sans one arm, apologetic because "i know that's where you liked to bite" as if that could possibly be the reason that obi-wan is as upset as he is when he comes in. "i'd understand if you need a different meal," he says, as if that's all he is when obi-wan refuses to bite him because for the first time, he looks fragile and that's heartbreaking

so anakin leaves and obi-wan is gobsmacked, flabberghasted, realized anakin waited to have this conversation as close to sunrise as possible so obi-wan couldn't follow him out of the bar, but he doesn't realize that his vampire would absolutely run into the sun for him (except quin and satine 1000% don't let him "that's not how you get your man, he doesn't want a pile of dust, where's that going to get you, man, think for just a fraction of a second")

so obi-wan send anakin more little gifts, things he can puzzle out one handed as he gets used to being an amputee, trinkets he might enjoy, notes that are meant to make him smile, or that say he'll find somewhere else to feed on the boy if that's going to get him to come back when nothing else has worked. all he wants is to let anakin know that he's he's appreciated, make him feel wanted and loved.

eventually anakin sends him a note back with his phone number and then texts him to come over. he makes obi-wan stand on his stoop for an excruciating amount of time and he gets a lecture about personal space, and respecting people's wishes and "it doesn't matter that you're 300 years old, some people just don't want anything to do with you!" and anakin tries to say all of this with a straight face, before he cracks because he misses obi-wan and it is an act, and he's been in love with this vampire since he decided it was his job to take care of one human that wasn't taking care of himself.

then anakin kisses him and gives him a goofy grin and asks "what are you doing just standing there?"

"are you inviting me in?"

"i guess i am. you're stuck with me though, i'm your problem now."

"darling, you've been my problem for a long time, and i wouldn't have it any other way."

and eventually they fuck, and obi-wan bites anakin's neck, and here's his symphony played out in the most desirable circumstances. and they live happily ever after

(until anakin pesters him about making him a vampire "so i can be your problem, permanently" and they argue about it, but agree that anakin gets a life first "you've gotta be at least 40 before i turn you, i'm not going around looking like i forever robbed the cradle!" "you're not even 40! 25." "nope." "fine, 30 then, final offer." "and if I say no?" obi-wan's grin is feral, like he knows he's lost but he's still willing to play the game. "i know you won't" so does obi-wan)

[laracrofted]

salem's lot x midnight mass

[my-name-is-apollo]

Phemonoe, the Pythian priestess on why the Delphic oracle has grown silent:

"...or perhaps Apollo, determined to exclude the guilty from his shrine finds none in this age worthy of opening his closed lips."

- Lucan, Pharsalia (Trans. A. S. Kline)

...

Internal screaming

[dirtytransmasc]

Alicent and Aegon are so Virgin Mary and Jesus coded, in a sick and twisted way that it barely makes sense, but at the same time just... does.

a mother and her child born damned from the start, yet she loved him to her core, accepting her fate, accepting she would lose him and then herself.

she carried him, birthed him, raised him, loved him, devoted her very being to him... she lost him, grieved him, lost her mind in his absence. the gods her only respite, yet, when she needed them most, when she needed them to protect her son, her baby, her reason for being, where were they?

[pansy-tranny]

(Minors dni)

Grabbing my younger self by the shoulders and looking into "her" eyes and saying:

Listen to me. Get the fuck out of the church. There's nothing there for you. I know you're scared of leaving. But staying? You'll still be scared. Scared of hell, scared of sin, scared of yourself. You rail against modernism and progress, and think that you can find comfort in your caricature of the idyllic pre-Vatican II past. All of it is a lie, and you know it, deep down.

Remember when it all started? When you heard that little voice telling you to "accept yourself as you are?" That wasn't the so-called holy spirit telling you to become a rad trad. That was me telling you to snap the fuck out of it and accept your manhood in its fullness. So what if hell is where we're going? So what if we live a life of hedonism and sin? So what if we become ourselves?

You're not going to enter a convent. You're not going to suffocate yourself in a carmelite habit. You are going to start testosterone and finally start living. So what the hell are you waiting for?

[galecstatic]

WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ENOUGH ABOUT ALEX'S HANDS ON HENRY'S NECK !?!?!#)$($+#+?*";";";$!$$+$-

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

questioning sexuality is so exhausting

[ruusukultakruunu]

"Pray to me Dear, maybe I will be your merciful god."

[torgawl]

jjk is crazy because what do you mean kenjaku tracked down the other main anatagonist's clone to fuck him and bear his child to now grab fetus tengen and impregnate sukuna with it for the merger

[fastlikealambo]

every day I get closer and closer to to my black grandma era because when lucy gray sang "nothing you can take from me was ever worth keeping" the quietest "I know that's right." slipped from my lips in the movie theater-

[wistfulwatcher]

i've been trying to stay positive about yjs all season because i desperately wanted to keep loving it but after last night's ep i just cannot pretend it's well-written anymore. that was the most nothing, poorly-paced episode i think we've gotten, at least for an ep that should be a CRUCIAL turning point. there was virtually zero exploration of the worst choice the teens make in 96 (the ritual discussion should have been a fucking bottle episode, tbh, with all that should have gone into it), and too much time spent recapping what we already knew in 21 (without it actually meaning anything/changing the characters when they learned). oof. just truly disappointing tbh.