#i'm not really a fan of cliff

[lemonandtheart]

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[taddymason]

Ahh!!! New chapter is so good, but argh! That cliff hanger is something else!

Can you at least tell us if he remains in the tournament?

HDHDD TRUST ME It was worse in the original draft: the chapter originally ended with the fight and Jay just running away but I decided it was too sad a note to leave the chapter on so I included the comfort part.

To answer your question: Would a tournament rigged so that the ninjas lose allow one of them to continue fighting after killing a member of the team that has to win? Sadly no.

However, Jay will have ANOTHER role in the tournament, but I don't think anyone will be able to guess :)

[gaesnek]

NO ONE TOLD ME RON STAMPLER WAS IN HILDA

I CAN'T TELL YOU WHO HE IS IN THE STORY BC DECENTLY BIG SPOILERS(gowatchhildaitsareallygoodshowandmovieandthenbacktoshowiprommisepleaseitssofuckinggood)BUT THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT IVE ALWAYS THOUGHT RON LOOKED LIKE

sure it's not THAT similar BUT IT'S (glenn) CLOSE ENOUGH FOR ME

[hollowflight-propaganda]

certain wof fans when they see a child character: wtf is this???? I want to set it on fire and then kick it's corpse into a ravine, never to be seen again >:)

me: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?????????

[ceramicbeetle]

i can't find the post now so maybe i've made it up entirely, who's to say, but i feel like i remember seeing a post about saccharina saying that she expects too much for the rest of the Rocks to treat her like family, but now that i'm actually watching the season, dude, she says multiple times that she doesn't care if they treat her like Family, she really just wants them to be decent to her and they refuse to even grant her that much

[valtsv]

sorry if this has been asked before, but are there any pieces of media that have shaped your conception of angels?

a formative one for me was his dark materials, when it described angels as only appearing in the form of winged humanoids because it was what was expected of them, and claimed that their true forms actually resembled architecture/"huge structures composed of intelligence and feeling" - i could never hope to draw the mental images that gave me, but it influenced my comparisons of pylon towers to angels, which are the closest reference i can give to the towering skeletal chain-like structures of light and matter that i imagined angels to be. it was also what first made me question the nature of angels, and begin to see them as something other than simply people with wings and halos who sang and/or fought for god - though i do have a weakness for angels imitating humanity, desiring and envying their free will and the unscripted lives it grants them, and in doing so becoming a little more human and a little less divine themselves, and falling in a metaphorical rather than literal, physical sense (which, to an angel, being an entity made of pure symbolism, is essentially the same thing, and can kill them just as surely as a sword).

kill six billion demons' angels are very inspirational to me; their naming system based on which reincarnation of itself the angel is makes me clap my hands with delight - particularly 6 juggernaut star, whose name belies how long she has endured through endless cycles, unable to break the wheel herself, and become entrenched in her own despair-driven futile rage as a result. and of course i'm a huge fan of 82 white chain's character arc involving an allegory for transition (specifically coming out as transfem) that also actually culminates in her transitioning (again, the symbolic and the literal go hand in hand with angels).

theres also this YA book called 'angel' by cliff mcnish that i read when i was like. eight? nine? i remember very little of it, and don't think it would hold up at all if i reread it now, but i do recall that one of the guardian angels in it died while saving one of their wards in a car wreck. the idea of angels as something that can be hurt and destroyed, that could be created to suffer and die, that could feel pain and experience grief, and potentially be imbued with supressed self-preservation instincts to serve their purpose, really flipped a switch in my brain.

[pyrodolls]

SUPERFAN! YANDERE BOY X POPSTAR! READER (YANDERE ALPHABET)

WARNINGS: a little nsfw, mentions of murder and violence, kidnapping, breaking and entering, stalking, depression, masochistic yandere, kinda worshipper yandere, some mentions of "offing" himself, mentions of death and starvation, established relationship, lowercase intended, not proofread, reader is gender neutral, i do not condone yanderes irl.

A/N: i was gonna do a request but uhhh i felt lazy. i'll make an alphabet for victor next cuz i feel bad for not writing him. plus i'm gonna try to make a masterlist soon so yippee! (also i apologize to all my non-yandere-enjoying followers that like my mortal kombat works, i'll get back to those someday. i just look back on my old works and cringe. i really dislike all my stuff from 2023.)

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

bayani loves you with all his heart. he is often overbearing and obsessive, treating you like you're the only thing that matters. he is always fussing over you and making sure you're okay. he constantly asks you how your day has been, if you've eaten yet, if there's anything he can do for you, etc. he is your little servant. please make him feel useful. please let him help you. his only purpose is to entertain and satisfy you in any way he can. whether you want him to cuddle and kiss you often, or you want him to cook and clean for you, whatever you want. he doesn't have a particular love language. even if he did, he would change it to cater to your taste.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

bayani believes violence is not the answer. he does not want to hurt anyone. but if it's for your safety, or if you order him to hurt or even kill someone, he would reluctantly do it. as much as he denounces violence, he cannot find it in his heart to disobey you. even if it is someone he knows, he'll do it for you. because if you think they should be dead, then you must be correct. bayani believes you can do no wrong, so he must act on your orders.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

bayani would not abduct you. he would never do anything that would hurt your feelings. as much as he gets off on being physically tortured and verbally berated by you, he cannot imagine a world where you dislike him or hate him in any way. he would never kidnap you. besides, even if he wanted to kidnap you, his apartment is too shitty to keep you there, and he wants you to live a life of luxury.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

bayani would absolutely not do anything against your will. he is nothing but your servant, and your fan. he does anything you want him to. he could never go against your will.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

bayani is yours. he has put his whole heart out for you ever since he first saw you. from being your biggest fan, to stalker, to boyfriend. since day one he has been (mostly) open and vulnerable.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

bayani would absolutely be turned on by your rage. kick him, spit on him, etc... the bulge in his pants would just grow harder and harder. however, as much as he enjoys being used as your personal punching bag, he doesn't want you to hate him. if you hated him, he might as well throw himself off a cliff. why should he live if you don't accept him? if he's not enough for you? he dedicated his life to following everything you did as a popstar, to dating you and doing everything you asked him to. so if you ended up hating him after everything he did for you, he wouldn't know what to do with himself.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

it is not a game to bayani, not one bit. i can't see him kidnapping you at all, but if he did it would probably be for your safety. he would hate to see you so sad and desperate to leave. he'd try to give you whatever food or gifts you ask for, to distract you from trying to escape. it's for your own good, please don't cry and scream at him.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

as much as bayani respects you, he often forgets your boundaries. he would break into your bedroom and watch you sleep, steal your clothes, or watch you while you shower. no matter how many times you try to tell him you're uncomfortable with his behavior and wish to have some alone time, he'd always claim that he would "respect you from now on" but the next day he'd go back to his perverted ways.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

bayani is hoping to get married and live happily ever after with you. he doesn't see himself having kids, he'd prefer to keep all his time and attention on you for the rest of his life. as much as he supports your career and music, a part of him hopes you retire early so you can give him more attention. but if you want to keep up your career for a few more decades, that's okay with him too. whatever makes you happy, makes him happy.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

bayani rarely gets jealous. but when he does, it's concerning. when he sees you hug or compliment a fan, he understands it's not romantic. he doesn't really care about it at all. however, if he sees a fellow popstar being a little too close to you or flirting with you, he immediately worries about himself. what if you leave him? he isn't attractive, or talented, or rich. you could easily leave him for a fellow popstar. bayani wouldn't blame you at all, or the popstar flirting with you. he only ends up looking in the mirror and picking himself apart for hours, wondering why you decided to date him. after that, he ends up being even more clingy than he was. he is basically glued to your hip, and doing everything you ask of him. he compliments you more and tries to make himself seem more energetic and loving. he even looks up ways to make himself more desirable to you, and trying out obscure skin care routines and putting lifts in his shoes. he tries to make himself better for you so you wouldn't leave him.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

bayani's basically a dog at your beck and call. he sits near you with hearts in his eyes, ready to tend to your needs. he usually talks to you nonstop, yapping about something he saw on the internet you might like or a bug he saw on the sidewalk. of course he'd stop if you ask him to, but he's just so nervous around you! even after you start dating and he's no longer just a superfan, his little crush on you never fades away. he covers up his anxieties by talking about anything and everything. if you were to engage in his little yapping sessions, or even laugh at his jokes or agree with his opinions, he'd get extremely flustered and shy. he'd try his best to hide it, but his tomato red face would give it away.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

bayani wouldn't even try to ask you out. he thinks of himself as nothing but a broke, ugly, stalker guy in love with you and your career. he thinks you're way out of his league. you would have to be the one to notice him and strike up a conversation. even then, he'd evaporate the moment you lay your eyes on him. but the more you notice him at your shows and interact with him, you'd become friends and then you'd have to be the one to confess to him.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

bayani's true colors aren't too different from how he acts with others. he's truly a perverted, shy, stalker. his whole life, even in childhood, he was always shy and never really talked to anyone. he didn't have any friends, wasn't in any clubs and didn't go to a church of any sort, so he was always alone. of course, nobody knows he's a perverted stalker, but it's easy to tell he doesn't speak to anyone but you.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

bayani would never punish you. he thinks you can do no wrong. whether you simply lashed out at someone, or committed a crime, he would always be on your side. even if you were to lash out at him, he'd accept it. he would never blame you, only himself.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

bayani would never harm you in any way because of how much he loves and worships you. he'd never take anything away from you.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

bayani would do anything for you, so of course he'd be very patient with you.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

bayani would not be able to live without you. if you left him, he would understand, but be heartbroken. but if you died, he would immediately lock himself in his apartment and refuse to eat or drink anything, and soon succumb to his own death. a life without you is a life he cannot live.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

bayani, again, would not kidnap you. if he did, i can imagine he would feel severely guilty about it. he hates seeing you in pain. if you're in pain, so is he. he would let you go as soon as he knows it's safe for you. hell, he'd want you to be free more than you do.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

like i mentioned before, bayani had a very lonely childhood. his parents weren't present, he had no friends or siblings, so he was left all alone. even when he graduated highschool and was left to live alone with a shitty job, he was still antisocial and had quite a dull life for a few years. that's how he discovered you. he never knew what it was like to love or be loved until he saw you and heard your music for the first time. your performances were a safe place to him. your lyrics were like a warm hug to him. you saved him from his miserable life. he started dedicating his life to you since you were the first person he truly cared about.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

bayani hates to see you in pain. he wishes he could take it all away for you. that's why he's so attentive to your needs, in hopes that he'll never have to see you cry or hear your screams in pain.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

unlike the classic, stereotypical yandere, bayani does not want to inflict harm on anyone unless he has to, and he's a lot clumsier than a usual yandere. he does not want to kill or hurt anyone, but if you really wanted him to, he would. but there's no guarantee that it'll go well, considering how clumsy he is. but he's trying, for you!

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

bayani is a worshipper, through and through. you want to leave him? just tell him. he'd be heartbroken, and probably beg you not to leave him, but ultimately he wants you to be happy. however, if he ever kidnapped you, you could escape by distracting him. you could point somewhere in the distance and go "look over there!" and he'd look for a couple seconds, then look back at you- and aw shucks you already ran away

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

bayani. would. never. even. dream. of. hurting. you.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

bayani would literally commit war crimes for you if you asked him to. there is nothing he wouldn't do for you. he sees you as a hero that saved him, so he believes he should return the favor by doing anything for you. anything to keep you happy.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

after being your biggest fan and stalker for years, bayani is content with staying that way for the rest of his life. of course he would love to be yours, but he would be happy with simply watching you from afar for as long as he shall live. he would never snap.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

depends on your sanity, and how much you like bayani. if you're okay with his clingy, clumsy, yapping self for the rest of your life, then you'll be fine. but if you'd get sick of never having a lot of alone time, or having a guy that is attached to your hip... then maybe you'd break and he would be incredibly guilty. he would try to apologize by being even closer to you, which would make you feel worse. unless you end things with him, you're stuck forever.

template here

[writesvani]

coming down | 01

collegestudent! gojo x collegestudent! reader

SUMMARY: You and Gojo Satoru were once everything to each other, but now, the space between you is filled with nothing but silence and resentment. College is just a reminder of how far you’ve drifted apart, and every encounter only adds fuel to the fire.

You avoid him like the plague, but it doesn’t matter. You can still feel him in the shadows, always there, always watching, as if the past was never really gone. So what do you do? You (try to) keep your distance, pretending it’s easy to forget the history that’s weighed you down for so long.

But deep down, neither of you can let go. And as the tension between you grows, you’re forced to confront the truth: some things are never truly buried, no matter how hard you try.

best friends-to-friends with benefits-to-enemies-to-enemies with benefits-to?

TWs (for this chapter): emotional distress and anxiety, body image issues and weight-related comments, mentions of food, dieting, and restriction, verbal abuse and manipulation, self-harm ideation, substance use and abuse references, mental health struggles (depression, anxiety, insecurity), intimate situations and explicit language, abandonment and neglect, self-deprecation and feelings of worthlessness, bullying or being belittled

comment here for Coming Down taglist;

SERIES M.LIST

— previous chapter / next chapter

wc: 4,7k // date: 5th of March 2025

CHAPTER ONE - The Morning; proceed with caution...

AN: okay, first of all, let’s talk about ren. he's liteeerally the only reason i'm posting this chapter earlier. REN. If you didn’t fall in love with him in this chapter, then honestly, i don’t know what to tell you because he’s an absolute gem. like i’m literally obsessed with him. he’s my favorite character HANDS DOWN. i’m talking top-tier, i would throw myself in front of a speeding bus for him if i had to. i mean, he’s got the charm, the humor, the flawless sense of timing. he’s a walking chaos machine and i’m here for it. can we please get a round of applause for ren? seriously, he’s out here living his best life, making questionable decisions, and somehow being the best friend anyone could ask for.

this chapter? oh yeah, it’s the introduction to the story, the one that sets everything on fire (in a good way, don’t worry). we’re finally giving you the ren experience in full force because he’s that important. his energy? unparalleled. his bad decisions? iconic. his ability to get people into ridiculous situations? absolutely legendary. and don’t even get me started on how much i’m loving writing for him. i know you can’t tell, but i’m literally typing this while holding back tears of joy. like, this man could ask me to jump off a cliff and i’d probably do it because i’m just so in love with his chaotic little soul.

stay tuned for more chaos, more fun, and more ren being ren.

love, [@writesvani] (ren's #1 fan)

No one ever told you opening your eyes while fighting a horrible hangover would be this hard—well, they did, and you’ve experienced it millions of times—but that doesn’t make it any easier.

Fluttering your eyelashes, your eyes barely open as a blurry flash of sunlight enters your narrow line of vision.

Ugh.

Why did you drink so much last night? You don’t even know.

Never drinking again.

Noted.

Lying to yourself won’t make the situation any easier.

Noted as well.

Hardly awake, you shift, trying to lift yourself up to sit—except your bed isn’t yours at all.

And this isn’t your room.

Or your apartment.

Your head throbs as you blink away the lingering fog in your vision, forcing yourself to take in your surroundings.

A small studio apartment. Cramped, slightly chaotic, and definitely unfamiliarly familiar.

The sofa beneath you is worn, the cushions flattened from years of use. Next to it, a tiny coffee table is cluttered with splattered magazines and old computer science textbooks, their spines cracked and bruised from relentless study sessions. Among the mess, a dirty ashtray overflows, its stale scent clinging to the air.

Gross.

A ginger-scented candle sits beside it—maybe an attempt to neutralize the overwhelming stench of smoke, though it clearly isn’t doing its job.

Your eyes drift further, landing on the tiny kitchen area. Greasy, dimly lit, its sink overflowing with dishes that look like they’ve been abandoned for days. The counters are barely visible beneath the chaos of unwashed mugs, instant ramen cups, and a suspiciously sticky bottle of what you assume was once honey.

Unease coils in your stomach.

Where the fuck are you?

Your fingers clutch the blanket draped over you, a thin, soft thing that smells like cheap detergent and cigarette smoke.

And then—

Relief floods through you like a tidal wave, so strong it almost makes you dizzy.

Oh.

Thank God.

Thank God you ended up here.

“So my worst best friend is finally up! What a lovely surprise!”

A voice—far too loud for this hour, far too cheerful for your current state—pulls you from the lingering haze of sleep.

You groan, pressing your palms into your temples as if that could somehow will away the pounding headache splitting your skull. “Please, for the love of God, let me enjoy my peace and quiet for five minutes before coming in with your unnecessary comments.”

A dramatic gasp. Then, “Okay, bitch. Rude. I understand you’re hungover, but please just be civilized for a second there. You don’t have to throw your defensive mechanism in—I didn’t even start my lecture yet.”

You crack open one eye just to glare. “Cut the crap, Ren. I’m not really in the mood right now.”

Ren smirks, crossing his arms as he leans against the kitchen counter. “Oh babe, if I were into women, I’d already have gotten you in it.”

Your lips twitch despite the throbbing in your skull. Because no matter how much you despise him in this exact moment—for being loud, for being happy, for simply existing when all you want is to die a slow, miserable, post-hangover death—a wave of relief crashes over you.

You’re safe.

Safe from last night. Safe with him.

You’ve known Ren for ages. Just to be more precise, since you were eleven. He’s your other half, your soulmate in a way that has nothing to do with romance and everything to do with the fact that, if it weren’t for his overwhelming love for ass and balls and dicks/men, the two of you would already be married.

It’s a thought you’ve had more than once. A parallel universe, maybe. One where you’d be an old married couple on some tropical island, far away from the bullshit of everyday life. Where you’d smoke weed all day and piss him off, and he’d play The Sims 4 all night and piss you off right back—screaming at his Sim for cheating on their husband with some new guy, courtesy of Wicked Whims.

But that’s not this universe.

This one’s a little messier.

This one’s full of questionable life choices, painfully slow mornings, and an unspoken pact:

If neither of you find an unrespectably hot, respectable man by the time you’re 35—

The wedding’s on.

“How the fuck did I end up here?”

Your voice is raw, thick with exhaustion and regret. The world tilts as you sit up, and for a brief moment, you genuinely consider throwing yourself right back into unconsciousness.

Ren, ever the dramatic one, sighs as if this isn’t the millionth time you’ve asked him that exact question. “What do you think?”

You blink at him. “First of all, don’t answer my question with another question. Second of all, IF I FUCKING KNEW, I WOULDN’T BE ASKING.”

Ren groans, tossing his hands into the air like a cartoon character about to launch into a monologue. “Okay, calm your pretty ass down, missy. You were too wasted. Or high. Or probably both. And you got a cab to my place. Probably the only address you could remember, considering we all know you can’t remember your own after one shot.”

His words are a jumble in your aching brain, but the general gist is clear: you fucked up. Again.

You huff, crossing your arms, but the sudden movement sends a sharp pain straight to your skull.

Yup.

Yup.

Never drinking again.

“Oh, Rennie,” you mumble, pulling his blanket over your head and collapsing onto the silky mattress. “I don’t think I’m ever going to drink again.”

Ouch. Bad decision. Pain again.

You’re dizzy, disoriented, sinking into the pillowcase you got him for his twenty-second birthday—the one he pretended not to like but still uses anyway.

Ren sighs. Not annoyed, not even surprised. Just—accepting. Because this isn’t the first time you’ve stumbled into his apartment, destroyed beyond reason, unable to string together a coherent sentence.

You feel bad. You always do. But you can’t help it.

Ren is the last remaining fragment of the old you, the one you buried deep in the back of your mind, the one you so desperately tried to forget. But he’s Ren, and he’s been your Ren since you were eleven.

And you hate it—hate that you keep dragging him into your mess, ruining his perfectly fine days with your self-inflicted chaos. But for some unfathomable reason, Ren still loves you.

He loved you at your best.

He loved you at your worst.

And somehow, he still loves you in whatever the fuck this is.

“It’s okay, babe. I know you’re lying.”

Ren’s voice is steady, soft, almost knowing. He doesn’t call you out with anger or frustration—just that damn patience of his, the kind that makes your chest tighten and your throat burn.

“C’mon, don’t go all crocodile tears and fake regrets on me now,” he continues, settling down next to you. “You know there’s always a safe space for you here.”

His hand finds your cheek, his thumb tracing slow, soothing circles against your skin. His touch is light, barely there, but it still feels like an anchor. You lean into it instinctively, your head still pulsing with the aftermath of last night’s recklessness. Yet somehow, his presence dulls the ache, lulling your discomfort into something almost bearable.

Ren always had that effect on you.

“Now, now,” he hums, voice teasing but gentle. “Tell me what got you so worked up that you drank like a dog let off a leash last night.”

You tense, but before you can even think of an excuse, he sighs.

“Sorry for not coming, by the way,” he murmurs. “But you already know how I feel about Yumi and all your other friends.”

And just like that, if you thought you couldn’t possibly feel worse, Ren effortlessly proves you wrong.

Because the only person you actually wanted to spend time with on your birthday wasn’t there—and it’s all because of you.

Ren doesn’t like them. It’s as simple as that.

He doesn’t like your friends, your environment, or the people you surround yourself with. He thinks they’re a bunch of problematic teens trapped in grown-up bodies, incapable of making rational decisions. They seek validation from whatever reckless or idiotic thing they did just to be considered “cool enough” on campus.

And maybe he’s right. Maybe that’s exactly what they are.

Ren isn’t shy about speaking his truth, especially when it comes to them. And you’re used to it by now. Hell, you wouldn’t want him to lie, to pretend like everything’s fine when it’s clearly not. It’d be too toxic for your best friend to step out of his comfort zone just to match your lifestyle, to accommodate what you think you want.

He doesn’t need to.

Ren has been the only constant, the only good thing in your life for the past few years. And, in a way, that’s enough.

"It's okay, lovie. We’ll be together today," you murmur, your voice quieter than usual. "I tried to bail on the party, but you know Yumi—she just wouldn’t budge."

You shift, mind working at lightning speed, lips parting and closing as you try to piece together the mess of last night. It’s all a bit blurry, details slipping through the cracks of your memory like sand through your fingers. But one thing stands out.

Gojo called you cheap.

The words flash in your mind like a neon sign, burning hot, humiliating, cutting deeper than you’d ever admit. And, of course, you being you, there was no way you’d just walk away, let him have the last word like that. No, you had to strike back.

So you did.

In front of Geto, the guy you’d actually wanted to take home, you called Gojo out. Laid it all bare. Exposed your past, your messy, embarrassing, mistake-ridden history with him. Let the words roll off your tongue like venom, staining the air of Nanami’s pristine beige living room.

The degradation of admitting you’d once fucked the beautiful, white-eyed demon was almost unbearable. Almost. Because underneath that shame, there was something else—something undeniably satisfying about the way Gojo’s face drained of color.

Ha. Should’ve taken a picture.

The man was sweating.

But, of course, that satisfaction was short-lived. The moment passed, leaving behind nothing but a thick, awkward silence that hung in the air like a bad smell.

Mood? Ruined.

Horny? Not anymore.

Gojo? Pissed.

Geto? Not having it.

And honestly, you couldn’t even blame him. Who the hell would still be in the mood after witnessing an argument that never should’ve happened in the first place?

Gojo left quickly, tossing a sharp, “This isn’t over” over his shoulder before disappearing.

And Geto?

He just sat there, staring at you, dumbfounded.

So, as any sane person would do, you decided to self-destruct with tequila and dance to the INNA Party Mix some random guy snuck into the playlist while no one was looking.

Gojo’s words didn’t touch you. Not even a little bit. And losing your dick of the night? Whatever. Hot guys were everywhere. Besides, it was probably for the best—you really didn’t need the extra drama of Geto’s girlfriend finding out about whatever almost happened.

So that’s probably how you ended up at Ren’s place.

Even though you have zero recollection of getting here in the first place.

“So it wasn’t just weed and shots,” Ren squeezes your hand, his voice softer now. “It was Gojo.”

Your throat tightens. No. It wasn’t Gojo. Of course, it wasn’t Gojo. You just wanted to let loose, enjoy the night, without anyone ruining it for you. Right?

Right?

“Who cares about that assface? I just wanted to get drunk and high, simple as that.”

“Okay, okay,” Ren lifts his hands in surrender. “I won’t mention it again. Promise on Charli XCX.” He nods toward the poster on his wall, and for the first time since waking up, a laugh escapes your lips.

His eyes light up at the sound, and in that moment, you swear you love him even more.

Because Ren never pushes. He never pressures you to explain yourself or dissect your feelings. He just lets you be.

And you love him for that.

What you don’t love is the flicker of knowing in his gaze—the way he reads you like an open book. Not many people ever managed to do that.

But it doesn’t matter. Because Ren never says it out loud.

It’s different with him.

Sometimes you wonder if things would be easier if you could have this kind of connection with anyone else. But then again, if you did, maybe what you have with Ren wouldn’t feel so rare and fragile and beautiful.

“Swear on BRAT,” you say, extending your pinky.

“I swear on BRAT,” he echoes, linking his pinky with yours.

And just like that, Gojo isn’t mentioned again.

Or last night.

Or Yumi.

Or Nanami’s obscenely expensive house.

"C'mon, babe. Let's go get some breakfast."

Ren tugs you out of bed, dragging you into the world of the living, and just like that, you’re not a mess anymore. It’s stupid how easily he does that—how he makes you feel a little less like a disaster with nothing but his presence. And maybe, just maybe, you love him a little more than you did mere seconds ago.

The place Ren takes you to is… odd.

Some kind of coffee shop-slash-restaurant-in-the-making. It’s close to his apartment, but it’s way too edgy to be a normal breakfast spot. But hey—a free meal is a free meal, and who are you to complain when he offered to treat you?

Okay, maybe you’re exaggerating a little. It’s not that edgy. Just… offbeat.

It’s called Radio, and by some wonderfully bizarre twist, the entire place is literally filled with radios.

They’re everywhere.

The walls are made of them, stacked up like some chaotic art installation. Car radios serve as makeshift stands, holding the food and drink menus. The menus themselves? Coquette-coded, decorated with bows and big-eyed deer like they were plucked straight from some Tumblr fever dream.

And then there’s the rest of the decor—ripped anime T-shirts hanging in the corners, stickers on the counter with millennial-core quotes like Eat. Sleep. Coffee. Repeat.

The waitress who approaches your table looks dead inside, eyeliner smudged into a mess so perfectly disheveled it’s almost intentional. She definitely doesn’t want to be here. But then again, do any of us?

"Stop judging," Ren hisses.

You blink at him. Judging?

"I’m a broke college student, and this place is cheap enough to actually fill my stomach," he defends, crossing his arms.

"I’m not judging," you retort. "But you have to admit, this place is weird. Look around. The interior designer who made this was probably on coke. Or MDMA. Or both."

Ren sighs. Deeply.

"Not everyone has to get high to come up with weirdly fun concepts," he says, exasperated.

"Now that’s just a lie, honey," you shoot back, leaning on your hand. "All artists get their inspiration somewhere, and the good ones? They get it on something. Look at Van Gogh. Dickens. Bukowski—"

"That’s not something to be proud of," Ren interrupts, rolling his eyes. "Those people were addicts. They needed help. Jesus. There's no proof that they made their best works because they were high—who knows? Maybe their art would've been even better if they were sober."

You hum, pretending to consider his argument.

"Well, you can’t prove that, can you?" you say, smirking.

Ren narrows his eyes, lips pressing into a thin line. Checkmate.

You love throwing these hypothetical what ifs at him just as much as he loves throwing them at you. His argument about sobriety is well-executed, you’ll give him that.

But he’ll never understand the euphoria—the way inspiration thrums in your veins when you’re tipsy, or better yet, high. The way stories are born from that space between reality and delirium. You swear your best ideas only exist there.

(Not that you’ve ever tried making them sober, of course.)

"Let’s not argue about the lives and works of people we’ll never truly know," Ren sighs, finally relenting.

"Okay," you agree, lips twitching.

For now.

“So, we can’t talk about your Voldemort, but you can for sure tell me more about that black-haired hottie you met last night?”

Ren’s rosy lips curve into a playful grin, his eyes lighting up with excitement. And just like that, you can’t help but melt at how much he lives for the gossip. Some things never change.

“He has a girlfriend, you mentioned?” Ren asks again, clearly wanting the details.

“Yeah, but it’s not like I care,” you shrug, rolling your eyes. “I wouldn’t go after a taken man who didn’t want me—that’s just not cool. But this guy, I’m telling you, from the second he laid eyes on me, he was eye-fucking me. Like, full-on, taking my clothes off telepathically and sinking his cock into me. It was intense.”

Ren snorts, amused.

“And if you saw him—he was all black long hair, a bandana, A BANDANA hanging from his neck. Made me wanna strangle him and lick him at the same time.” You pause, feeling the heat rise in your chest. “And the polo shirt, okay, I thought it was kinda lame for a college party, but it gave me a peek at his abs and, oh my god, his happy trail. And his lips, babe, I’m telling you. Pink, soft, begging to be bitten. Ugh. I should’ve tried harder and just fucked him.”

“Wait, you saw his happy trail?”

“Yeah, his shirt rode up when he was stretching after playing billiards with the guys. I was already plastered, but trust me, I saw it. It was practically an invitation to drop to my knees.” You take a bite of your fries, half-listening to yourself as the images replay in your mind.

“Well, if it were me, I’d be licking that happy trail into the midnight and riding him ‘til sunrise, baby,” Ren quips with a grin, taking a bite of his crepes.

You can see the look in Ren’s eyes—the way he’s already imagining it all. It makes you laugh, feeling a rush of affection for your ridiculous, perfectly in-sync best friend.

“Got a pic of the hottie?”

You freeze.

Your horniness deflates to zero. You forgot. You didn’t even get his number, his Instagram, nothing. “I forgot to follow him. I’m so fucking dumb.”

Ren rolls his eyes.

“Follow him now, duh. Who cares?”

“I care,” you say quickly. “I don’t want him to think I’m some creepy-ass loser who’s randomly looking him up.”

Ren looks at you like you’re nuts. “He won’t think that. Plus, if he doesn’t follow you back, then he’s blind and needs a check-up.”

“Let’s just try looking him up on Insta. Maybe he has a profile pic so you can see him, but I am NOT following him.”

You whip out your phone and start typing.

And there he is. Geto Suguru.

And oh boy.

His profile pic isn't just a pic, he's shirtless, his shorts hanging low on his hips, and there it is—the happy trail, long, dark, and deliciously inviting. His face is perfectly smirking, like he knows exactly what you’re thinking. You feel a shiver run down your spine, practically drooling as you stare at the picture.

Ren, ever impatient, snatches your phone from your hands before you can even blink. His mouth falls open in shock.

“Sweet Jesus, oh my God,” he breathes, his eyes flicking between you and the picture, blinking rapidly like his brain can’t handle it.

Then he moves his thumb. And you know exactly what he’s doing, but it’s too late. It’s too fucking late.

Ren has just sent a follow request to your “almost fuck.”

You feel a panic rise in your chest. No. This is it. You’re going to strangle him. Watch as life leaves his annoying body and his breath gets lost somewhere else because you know—you just know—he did it. He followed him. From your phone and your goddamn Instagram account.

“Are. You. Fucking. Insane?”

You stare at Ren in disbelief, heart pounding in your chest as your brain tries to process what he’s just done.

“I did what had to be done,” Ren grins, his eyes gleaming with mischief. “This man is too fine and too sexy not to be tried out at least once. Honestly, pardon his straightness, but I’d blow him like my life depended on it. Since I can’t do it myself, you’re gonna take the sacrifice of doing it for me.”

You feel a mix of anger and embarrassment bubble up inside you. “Ren, I’m going to kill you. I’m literally going to kill you.”

“Relax, girl,” he snickers, waving you off like it’s no big deal. “And when you fuck him, pretty please think about me, so I can, by some miracle, feel it as well.”

You roll your eyes, trying to calm yourself down, but there's that nagging fear lingering in the pit of your stomach. “What if he doesn’t follow me back?” you whine, your voice a mix of real concern and dramatic flair. “I’m too old for this humiliation. I don’t need more rejection stacking up on my list.”

Ren just shrugs, completely nonchalant. “He will. Trust. Now eat your food, ho, and let’s go shopping.”

You don’t believe him, though. Deep down, you know he’s lying—because by the end of your shopping spree with Ren, Geto still hasn’t followed you back.

You’re losing your mind.

Even after you’ve showered, eaten, and taken a power nap, you find yourself glued to your phone. There’s still no accepted request. No follow. Just a stupid pending ‘follow request sent’ sitting there, mocking you.

You panic. You called Ren probably ten times and sent him thirty messages, all containing some combination of death, you, kill, and didn’t follow me back. You’ve become a mess—unrecognizable even to yourself.

The worst part? You know he saw it. You just know it. There’s no way in hell he didn’t check his phone at least once in the eight hours that passed. He’s leaving you hanging, like some peasant who isn’t even worth the time to be acknowledged.

It stings. It fucking stings.

You were dramatic before, sure, but you were deep down thinking he'd follow you back. Everyone does. He was all over you last night, wanting you, practically undressing you with his eyes. There was no way that stupid little spat with Gojo could have ruined things with Geto. Or maybe you were wrong. Maybe you were just stupid.

How dare he?

How dare he act like you weren’t worth even a simple follow? You start pacing around the room, frustration boiling over as your mind spirals into overdrive.

Then it hits you.

Gojo. That bastard. He’s always meddling in your business, always making things harder than they need to be. He loves getting involved for no reason, just to mess with you.

Just like he did before.

18 years ago

It’s an usual Friday afternoon, and you’re sitting with your great grandma on the front porch, her wrinkled hands steady as she writes down the words you dictate to her. You don’t know how to write yet—not really. Yes, you know the alphabet, but putting words together, let alone sentences on paper, feels like an impossible task for your six-year-old mind. But you know how to speak, and that’s all that matters right now. So you speak, and she writes, and together, you create a poem. It’s about winter, and comfort, and there’s a line about soup cooking on the stove, messily tossed in there.

You swear, in that moment, you’ve never been prouder of yourself. You are creating something—your very first poem. And even though it’s messy, even though it doesn’t follow all the rules of the world that you’re still figuring out, you did it.

Gojo, your next door neighbor and self proclaimed best friend sits beside you, shyly drawing you, your grandma, himself, and his favorite teddy bear, Teddy (of course) on what he insists is a train, even though it looks more like a stinky snail. You laugh, but then your excitement gets the best of you, and you run to your dad to show him the poem you just made with Nana. You can’t read it, but that doesn’t matter because Nana’s going to read it to him, and you’re so excited.

You just know he’ll be proud of you.

Nana reads the poem out loud, and you watch your dad as he listens. He smiles, and you’re filled with warmth, because he’s so pretty when he smiles. His eyes crinkle in that perfect greenish light, and his mouth—those dimples—just make everything feel perfect.

But then, he speaks.

“Nana, it’s great you’re teaching her all that, but she doesn’t have to write about food. There are many more beautiful things to write about. Our little peach is already a bit too chubby, and we’ve really been trying to help her lose weight, so I don’t think writing or thinking about food is good for her right now, right?”

Your heart sinks. Your excitement crashes to the ground.

You don’t know what it is, but his words make you feel so small. Your eyes drop to the ground, and you can’t hide from the uncomfortable, overwhelming feeling that floods over you. You already feel too big in your skin, too big in your body. Too big in your dad’s mind.

And then you feel it—the rush of anxiety. It sweeps over you like a tide, drowning you in its force. The weight of his words, the weight of your disappointment in his eyes, it’s too much. You couldn’t even keep it together for a stupid little poem.

Again.

You’ve disappointed him. Again. And there’s nothing you can do to make it stop.Nana says something, her voice soft and reassuring, about you being a normal, healthy little kid. She shakes her head at your dad disapprovingly, but you can’t hear her over the ringing in your ears. His words hang around you, clouding the air, and the warmth that had once bloomed in your chest shrivels up. The mood is ruined. And even though you fight it, even though you don’t want to, your eyes grow heavy and the tears that have been threatening to spill finally break free.

You try to hold them back, but they come anyway.

"I don’t think you’re chubby. You’re cute, and I liked your poem," Gojo whispers to you, his small, warm hand slipping into yours. He squeezes it gently and beams a pretty, innocent smile at you.

But instead of feeling better, you feel worse.

His hand is smaller than yours. And he’s a boy. He’s smaller and slimmer than you, and you’re a girl. You shouldn’t even be thinking about these things, but you can’t stop. He’s smaller and slimmer and better, and you're chubbier, and nothing about this is fair.

And then you hear your dad again, his words ringing in your ears, harsher this time.

“Satoru, you don’t have to lie to make her feel better. Y/n’s a big girl. She can take it. Besides, she knows it’s for her own good.”

You nod, but it’s sharp and harsh, the motion of your head quick and jerky. You pull away from Satoru’s embrace, feeling like you might break under the weight of everything. His eyes are sad. You can see it now. The pity. The pity in his eyes, in your dad’s eyes, in everyone’s eyes. It’s there, it’s so clear, and you hate it.

You don’t understand pity yet, not fully, but you understand how it makes you feel small.

You’re not a little kid anymore.

Satoru looks mad now. He gives you one of those looks—‘It’s okay, I’ve got you’—the kind that only makes you feel worse. You can’t stand it.

You want to run. You want to hide. You want to be alone, away from all of this, away from their pity, away from the shame building up in your chest.

So you do.

You run. You run to your room, and when you’re there, the door shuts behind you, and you fall onto your bed. The tears come in waves, and you cry until evening falls, until your eyes are red and sore. You don’t come downstairs for dinner.

“Tomorrow, I’m not gonna eat anything. Then all of them are gonna see.”

You whisper the words to yourself, not fully understanding the weight of them, but in that moment, they make you feel like you have control. Like you can make everything better. And that's how it all begins.

taglist: @heh123321 @kazupop @mintcheery @krispywhisperswhispers

[absolutelynotsanebaby]

I was talking to my mutual about Cole when I had a surge of Thoughts so per usual you all have to hear them now. I was considering a couple things, namely his development and place as the "strong guy" on the team and his masculinity (and how it presents in the show vs in fanon).

Cole's pretty often typecast as the gruff strong guy in a lot of fan-media (from fanfics to fanart etc) which isn't wrong because he was like that, especially within the early seasons. The way he spoke, the way he acted, his place as a sort of leading force. In season three you even see him in that stupid lumberjack fit (said affectionately), it's all very traditionally masculine. Which fits his whole Strong and Big guy of the team role (the five man band archetypes etc etc). However, it's interesting to say because at his core, he's very emotional and very driven by a strong sense of internal compassion (with a canonical affinity to children). Which obviously none of that is opposed to masculinity but these traits begin to show more as the gruffness pulls back. The first real example of that I think is in ToE with his fight with Jay. I don't read him as being invested in their fighting the same way Jay was. Jay was fueled by insecurity and a very strong sense of jealousy and possessiveness. Cole? I think he was just reacting to Jay's aggression, which didn't put Nya in a better position but it is a difference. 

So when their match rolls around, he's the first one to realize what they're doing is stupid and give in. He reaches out emotionally to Jay. However, Jays still is a friend so that is easy to write off as a symptom of friendship. And then following ToE we have possession and DOTD which I think are where he really begins to develop, and have the strongest examples of what I'm getting at. I'm going out on a limb and saying that I really see his prior gruffness as a sort of armor, to be good enough for the team (insert that one Wu note of him staying up late before missions) and also there his whole rebellious streak against his father trying to force him to be someone he's not. (Note: I wouldn't be surprised if how Lou raised him really had a impact on all this) Then, we get to Possession and both his self worth and self image are shook badly by literally dying. He outright says he's not a ninja anymore, which I think he based a lot of who he was on (<- which is why struggling with it hit so hard).

Finally DOTD comes up and I think we see the strongest example of where his compassion really become a core trait. It's his fight with Yang. He had no reason to reach out to him, to be honest he had the right not to, but he did and it worked! He didn't get out of DOTD in the end with brute force, he got out of it with emotional support (his team showing up), a stubborn adherence to his moral code, and reaching out to Yang with empathy. From that point on, I think he's softer and more prone to being emotional, it's like there was a very real shift. To circle back to Jay, because I think he makes for a good comparison, he does not develop like that post ToE. Actually, the issues carying from s3 (though, they do exist prior just not as starkly) all the way to Skybound where it gets violently (literally) addressed. Jay fans can probably say it better than me but the season is about his insecurity and treatment of Nya and there's a reason both Nadakhan and Cliff are like that (read: they're parallels). It's just interesting because both Cole and Jay have issues with self worth and image but they present and develop very differently. 

There's also the fanon aspect with those two that's really funny. I think everyone's aware of the infamous fanon-bruise, the 2010s-yaoification. Uwu Jay, Big Strong Man Cole, and how weirdly racist it is. It's just funny to note because the issues projected onto Cole in fanon are ones Jay has, like, in the show. Cole's the more emotional and compassionate one of the two, but because of the strong guy role, it gets flipped around in fanon. Going by the 'traditional' (read: toxic) masculine standards, in terms of personality and character, I think Jay more closely aligns. It reminds me of this post I saw once, it was of Hunted where Jay was making the plane (?) and Cole was with baby Wu. It called Jay the 'mom' and Cole the 'dad' which I find kind of funny because if you look at it through that hetero-normative lense, it really should be the other way around. Cole's the one caring for the baby pretty consistently, Jay's the one making a machine and Working. Did Jay just get called the 'mom' there because people think of him as smaller and weaker and therefore more feminine? Did Cole get called the dad just because he's strong and considered bigger? It's interesting. Fanon does Cole really dirty sometimes.

To get back on topic of Cole's narrative development, then we get to MOTM (like a bajillion years later which no I'm not complaining except I am). Cole's characterization in MOTM is so fucking good. MOTM does a fantastic job at tying together several of his strings. It ties in Lilly, his self esteem, his staunch morality, affinity towards leadership, and compassion into one, pretty bow. MOTM puts Cole back into a leading role, and it gives him several groups to reach out to (Vania, the munce and geckle, the uppily). It draws back the insecurity present in him, letting it show again to be addressed. It even ties in his relationship to Wu in a really lovely way to me. MOTM is the season where Cole finds who he is, his identity and his place as his mothers son.

Speaking of that, I have a very strong love for male characters who exemplify who their mothers were and what they taught them. The scenes with Lilly really put his entire character into a different perspective. At the start he was this tough kid fresh off grief and pressurized so strongly by his dad and himself and he goes through loops and hurdles of strength and identity and by the end he finds himself exactly where he needs to be. Where he's the strongest and it's in his mothers footsteps, as someone both emotional and strong. It's a really lovely character arc to take him on, and though I haven't watched DR, I've heard they continue that on. 

Anyways, consider it positive masculinity, consider it anything else. I just had a lot of thoughts to share and hope I don't sound too 'reading-too-deep' about it. Bye bye Kar ramble over.

[curtain-caller]

So I'm looking forward to seeing all the interpretations and headcanons people make for The Lucky Contestant (who I will also join in calling them "Lucky"), but I'm curious... Okay, raise of hands, who else here also pictures Lucky as a crafty, greedy, overconfident, sassy, morally bankrupt little shit (affectionate)? Or is that just me? Idk I just get those vibes from their choices in the game (elaboration below)

Like... the implications that they were combing through hundreds of boxes to get a tape to join the show??? That they were counting the boxes and keeping track??? The fact that the only way to escape at the start is to run PAST the giant fucking beast mauling another contestant instead of running AWAY from it??? Not to mention them leaving the other remaining contestants behind in doing so.

The fact they didn't hesitate when Deputy Duck pecked at them, fucking grabbing him by the neck and throwing him against the wall??? That screamed "I'm not fucking around, are you going to cooperate or not?" kind of energy. The way they barely move when they come across the Real Frankie in front of the monitors??? Like, I know you can't move during that segment probably so you don't just miss the cutscene, but in-universe, Lucky has ample opportunity to turn and fucking run, and we know damn well their fear response isn't freeze, it's flight.

Just. The entire noob noob section. I feel like they flinched one time during that and that was when they caught the first one, but only because the explosion caught them off guard. That slowed them down for 1 second, maximum. Hell, I've seen a few players laugh at that part, I feel like Lucky would too. The fact that there's no objectives to even try to escape Frankie's great value Parkour Civilization??? Like, in a game like this, I'd expect at one point for there to be an attempt to just escape the game entirely once shit hit the fan, only for the protagonist to realize the only way out is to begrudgingly play along and win. But nope. Lucky came here for the money, and they're getting that money. AND THE FACT THEY DO??? AND THEY'RE THE FIRST EVER ONE TO DO SO??? The way they just strut back into Frankie's office after their 57th near-death experience and look him right in the eye??? The whole ending segment where they go for another season??? It's not framed at all like they were forced to go again, because the Real Frankie just offered his hand out, and when we cut back, Lucky is casually looking at the ratings screen while standing on top of a pile of corpses. There are open gaps on the floor they can be standing on instead! But nope, just chilling on top of some dead bodies. Obviously we can't tell what their facial expressions are with the mask on, but they don't seem afraid or even all that tense about their situation either. To me, Lucky is the type of guy to go "I'm not gay, but 20 bucks is 20 bucks". Lucky is the type of guy to go "No, I'm taking the 5 million" only to sprint through that fucking door when Frankie whispers "Double or nothing". Lucky is the type of guy to walk past an old dead competitor and mutter "skill issue" under their breath. Lucky is the kind of guy to roll around in the glass money ball for enrichment like a hamster in a hamster ball. Lucky's the type of guy to keep going for season after season, for more and more money, until eventually they're not even doing it for the money anymore, relishing in the adrenaline rush and the glory instead. I just really love the idea that the reason why Lucky made it to the end so successfully was not only because of their skills and quick thinking, but because they also match Frankie's freak. Frankie was right: They need each other. They compliment each other. They enable each other in the worst ways possible. One wants to put the other through gradually more elaborate and deadly situations to increase ratings, and the other runs headfirst into those situations with the same energy as someone going cliff diving. It's like enrichment for them.

[burningcheese-merchant]

I notice that you give Shadowspice alot of shit because of how it's based off of shallow fujoshi stereotypes and how they would be miserable with eachother if you regarded there canon personalities (which is lowkey valid), but that makes me surprised you like burningcheese because you do remember that burning spice tore off cheesy's wings, threw her off a cliff, kept her wounded in a prison for sadisms sake and threated to destroy all she ever treasured before the queen turned the tables and have him his rightful beating.

Most burningcheese fanart I have seen depicts burning spice as hulking and towering and smiling down at golden cheese freaking as if that isn't basic straight ship stuff, I'm not going to cry about "abuser x victim" or how your a "proshipper" but a decent chunk of the Fandom portrayal of burningcheese ignores golden cheese's dominance and how powerful she is and I'm invested in how you think golden cheese will get romantic with the dude who tried to take everything from her with sadistic glee, all of that aside have a good day.

Turned out long as fuck lol my bad

Gonna start by saying I appreciate you being polite/civil. Ngl I started reading the first sentence and immediately assumed it was a ShadowSp1ce fan come to start shit or something lol. I'm glad that's not the case. As unhappy as that ship makes me, I'm really not out to get anyone who likes it. You do you, it's not my business. I mean it when I say I'd rather never speak of ShadowSp1ce again if I don't have to. I'm a happier person without it in my thoughts. Again I ask "where is the memory gun from Gravity Falls when you need it" lmao

To address your other concerns. No I did not forget what Burning Spice did to Golden Cheese lol. That's a pretty important scene in the story, I don't really have a say in the matter. But really, what he did is just what villains do. It's horrible, but not out of the ordinary for someone like that. It shouldn't be downplayed or dismissed but I also don't think it needs to be blown as far out of proportion as I've seen so many do. Video game villain. There are far worse ones than Burning Spice, who have done far worse things. Promise.

Maybe it's just my luck, but I've never really seen anyone portray BurningCheese the way you describe. Not on here, at least. I just see Burning Spice simping really hard for the golden goddess and smiling when she steps on him lol. Or them just being genuinely happy together. Plenty of angst, sure. But nothing I would really say is out of character (that I recall off the top of my head). I don't doubt that such shallow, stereotypical portrayals exist, and I lament that they do. I myself don't subscribe to that. Yes, he hurt her, but she doesn't take it (or anything he says or does) lying down. She gets up and fights back. And that's what he loves about her most of all. She fights back. To make her the meek, doe-eyed little church mouse secretary to Spice's domineering CEO or whatever the fuck in service of some puddle-deep hetero-flavored gooner shit à la 50 Shades is boring and flanderization. Burning Spice is tough but so is Golden Cheese. They are equals in every way. Let them kick each other's asses. Spice would never love a person who couldn't stand up to him anyway. Who isn't strong, physically and mentally. Which is what she is and always should be.

But my MAIN canon. The canon I operate on. The one my little fankid critters exist in. THAT romance goes like this:

As for how I ascribe romance to them... Let me start by saying that I ship them in multiple ways, through multiple lenses. I ship BurningCheese where it's a toxic one-sided crush/obsession on Spice's part (and his behavior is condemned ofc), because exploring that kind of darkness within a fictional setting is interesting to me. I ship BurningCheese where Golden Cheese gives in to despair, same as Burning Spice once did, and corrupts, and they become a villain couple (got a big fic in mind for that lol. That will be fun to write eventually). In a similar vein to that is the AU I've been playing around with on here where Spice is basically her pet serial killer and brings her severed heads and other things as tokens of affection (he is absolutely fucking deranged in this AU), and because she herself is... kind of a broken person in this story, she starts responding to these attempts to stroke her ego and win her favor, leading her down a rabbit hole of guilt and shame and denial and unhealthy attachment, where she eventually ends up as insane for him as he is for her (I know it sounds crazy, but... it's fun in a dark and disturbing way lol). I ship BurningCheese in that time travel AU (that I'm still cooking btw! That will be real fic! I'm working on it with a friend of mine!) where Golden meets Spice while he's still the Herald of Change, with all of the trials and tribulations that brings. I ship BurningCheese as a standard forbidden love affair, where she's good and he's bad and neither is willing to change for the other, but are willing to set aside those differences to be together, even if only for a time and away from prying eyes and judgment. I like them all sorts of ways, because I just like them, you know? I like how they click. How they complement and contrast with each other. They're both very alike and very different. They have a lot to give each other and a lot they can do together. And they're soulmates, that's canon, they are canon (at least in some way), whether anyone likes it or not. So I win no matter what lol

Slow burn. Very, very slow. Post-canon, after Dark Enchantress has already been defeated and order restored to the world. There's nothing left for the Beasts to really do anymore, Burning Spice included (they are not resealed in my canon, they all remain free indefinitely). They can't go out and cause chaos without their Ancients coming and curbstomping them immediately. But... Burning Spice likes that Golden Cheese does that, so he manages to forge an agreement: if she indulges him and spars with him a few times a month, he'll stay out of trouble. And she agrees, for everyone else's sake. She certainly doesn't want to be around him any longer than she has to.

They grow a little closer through these fights of theirs, albeit unwillingly on Golden's part. They bicker and banter while they exchange blows, and afterwards while they tend to their own wounds. Do you really have a choice, when you end up stuck with someone in such a way?

Burning Spice is in love with her. Always has been. But his love is selfish, toxic. He's more attached to his idea of her than the real her, because he doesn't truly know her, despite his insistance plus their soul bond. Golden Cheese hates him and considers him a menace to society, and indulges his whims purely to protect and serve the public. So long as he's focused on her, he can't hurt anyone else.

He hits on her all the time. She rebuffs him all the time. He doesn't necessarily mind; as much as he'd love it if she returned his feelings, he's content with her refusal as well. He likes her bite, her wit, her anger. And he has her, at least in some way. Has her attention. Has their battles. That's enough for him

Slow burn redemption arc on top of the romance. Really, Burning Spice's redemption is mostly an accident. Golden Cheese wasn't trying to fix him (at first) and he was never looking to be fixed. They both believed he was damned and he didn't care, and that was that. And it really was, for a while. But eventually, gradually, he started to... mellow out. Enough that he started becoming a little more approachable, in her estimation. Thus they grow closer still, which in turn makes him mellow out more.

He starts opening up a little bit, here and there. Bits and pieces about himself. His past. General personality things. She does the same in turn. She starts to recognize him as more than just a heartless monster. He starts to acknowledge things he'd otherwise leave buried forever. There's some sort of trust and understanding forming.

Spice gains a measure of clarity. Not quite remorse, but... regret? Is it regret? Is he really able to say he regrets anything about his life? Has he gotten that soft? That pathetic?

... He regrets how he treated her. That much comes to be true. And he apologizes to her. It's not much, he's no good at apologies, but he's at least sincere. It's shocking to her. She takes it to heart, despite not really forgiving him (she will not do so for a long time still). It marks a little turning point in their relationship.

She lets him into her life and world a bit more. She relaxes a bit more around him and vice versa. They're not even so strict about their scheduled duels anymore; sometimes he comes by just because he wants to see her, and she obliges. He's still an asshole but less of one. She's still begrudging but less so. It's clear something has begun to change within him. She's not sure what it is, but it's there. And it's... meaningful, at least to her. Because she never thought she'd see it

Don't want to get too deep into it because I want to talk abt it more later. But there's at least one suicide attempt by Spice bc he's gotten really depressed (more than he already was) and Golden stops him, and in doing so realizes that she's come to genuinely care about him as a person and doesn't want him gone, even despite his misdeeds. Another big turning point, especially on her part

They become genuine friends. Bit of a weird friendship, he's still a bad guy, but even so. She's honest about enjoying his company. She talks to him like she does everyone else. And he likes it. He likes that she's so casual now. That they're so used to each other now. It's pleasant

The more he spends time with her and gets to know her, the deeper in love he falls. But no longer is it that corrosive sentiment it once was. With time, it evolves into a healthy affection and respect for her. He's still smitten as always and forever, but in a more normal way lol

The more time she spends with him and gets to know him, the more she comes to see that... He's really not so bad, underneath all of his... issues. He's intelligent. Thoughtful. Creative, even (ironic). He's very handsome. He makes her laugh. He keeps her on her toes. He's not so different from her, in some ways. With all of that, and what he's willingly revealed to her about his life, she believes that... he can be fixed. He can get better. Somewhere within the dark chasm of his soul is man with some worth. There's something worth salvaging inside of him. One little ray of light, flickering in the dark. He can change, if he wants to. She truly believes that now.

So she starts making an effort to help him along. Starts pushing for him to interact with others. Do good deeds. Participate in society, in life. He tries to push back but ultimately gives in, if only to appease her. She's the only person he tolerates still, everyone else can keel over and die for all he cares. Just because he's not actively hurting anyone doesn't mean he cares about them.

But... it works, little by little. This war of attrition she wages. Of course she can't force him to change; he has to want that for himself. But she can at least show him the merit in doing so. And she does. Slowly, begrudgingly, he starts to actually talk to people. Hang around them. Do things of his own accord, not just to make her happy. He does not say so, but he's learning to enjoy and appreciate life again

That's when she falls for him. It was already in motion for a while, but it's watching him improve and become more of the man she thinks exists deep down inside that does her in for good. Of course she's embarrassed. She grapples with the moral implications. But in the end, she can't help herself. He's charmed her. He won.

They're happy together. They marry. He is gladly accepted by the GCK as their king, for they have embraced him by then. They have those two kiddos. He's forged new, genuine friendships with the other Ancients plus a few other people, and rebuilt the old ones he had with the other Beasts. He's... not a hero, no. He never will be again. But he's abandoned his evil ways. He's made peace with himself. He's been reintegrated into society. He's happy. They're happy.

No one approves of them besides Pure Vanilla. Throughout all of this, Spice has been regarded with fear, hatred and suspicion. (He doesn't really care much, to hell with what others think of him.) Though he's improved and some have relaxed around him, for many it's not enough, her friends included. They worry for her safety, for her sanity. She vouches for him, his character and their relationship. Only PV is on her side from the start; he's overjoyed for her, for him, for them. He's happy he's changed, as PV always hoped all the Beasts would. He wishes them well. He hopes for a similar happy future for himself and Shadow Milk. Everyone else comes around eventually, some sooner than others. (Smoked Cheese excluded. They will never be cool)

It's important to note that I came up with this for them because I enjoy exploring morality and redemption and forgiveness, and what that might look like for certain characters. Even if he's become a better man, does Burning Spice really deserve the happy ending he got? Does it undo anything he did? Does a man like that really deserve forgiveness?

The way Burning Spice would answer those questions is... no. No, he doesn't. He's done too much. The blood on his hands will never wash out. Golden Cheese can only forgive him for what he did to her specifically, not for what he did to the world. And he knows he isn't worthy either way. Should he ever die... well, he's certainly not going to Heaven, that's for sure. So he makes peace with it the best he can and just tries to be better. He can't change the past. All he can do is try to make it a decent present. He's not perfect, no. There are some things you'll never get back after living such a cursed life. The Herald of Change is long gone; perhaps he never truly existed in the first place. He can only be Burning Spice, with the weight of all his sins bearing down on his shoulders, and try. Try to do better. For his wife. For his children. For his comrades. For his people. There's nothing else he CAN do. He can never truly fix what he did. He has to live with that forever. But he's still managed to find happiness even with it, and that makes it bearable. And it's all thanks to her, in the end. Her and the kids. They make it all worthwhile.

I'm sorry I wrote a Bible lol. And also probably derailed at least once. I just hope I answered your questions well enough. This is ultimately how Merchant thinks Golden Cheese will get romantic with Burning Spice. The end

[sumiire-creates]

▍𝙏𝙃𝙀𝙄𝙍 𝙁𝘼𝙑𝙊𝙍𝙄𝙏𝙀 𝙎𝙋𝙊𝙏𝙎 𝙏𝙊 𝙆𝙄𝙎𝙎 𝙔𝙊𝙐 *ೃ༄

╳╳╳╳╳╳╳╳╳╳╳╳╳╳╳╳╳╳

╳╳╳╳╳╳╳╳╳╳╳╳╳╳╳╳╳╳

𝘎𝘌𝘕𝘙𝘌: fluff.

𝘍𝘛; amber, kaeya, lisa, jean, diluc, venti, albedo, rosaria, eula, mika.

𝘊𝘞:

‣ gn!reader [mentions of female anatomy] | slightly suggestive(?) [on kaeya, venti, and albedo] | a ton of kisses | a ton of fluff/a bit of comfort.

╳╳╳╳╳╳╳╳╳╳╳╳╳╳╳╳╳╳

▏𝘈𝘔𝘉𝘌𝘙;

- amber loves to kiss your face.

- amber is so sweet about it too

- like if she has the chance, she’s take your face in her hands and just smother you with kisses until you’re both all giggles

- she enjoys pecking your cheek or nose or forehead

- she ADORES goodnight forehead kisses. like, she gives you one EVERY. NIGHT.

- she’s so gentle with her lil smooches

- she’d kiss you any chance she got

- when you’re cuddling in bed? smooch

- pass by each other when you’re doing your own thing? quick kiss on the cheek

- training? hell yes.

- if you were a fellow knight, she’d spar with you and like get so close just to give you a kiss and hit you so hard you fall to the ground

- but like it's okay

- because if you tell her it isn't, she gets really disappointed and sad and pouts about it for the rest of the day

- you better make it up to her

- like later when y’all are going to sleep, trap her in a hug and return the favor! she’ll cheer right up

▏𝘒𝘈𝘌𝘠𝘈;

- kaeya loves to kiss your lips.

- flirt.

- tease.

- he’s such an ass with it

- like he knows what he’s doing and he loves to just make you feel those annoying little butterflies that make you happy

- but then like

- he’ll also get super close, and you just wanna kiss him really badly

- and then he pulls away.

- like SIR??? >:(

- i'm not done come back here

- his kisses are soft and loving

- with gentle lips on yours, he’ll kiss you anytime he finds the moment to be perfect

- he’s the definition of romantic

- like your first kiss was probably on starsnatch cliff at sunset and looked so damn perfect

- gentle breeze and everything

- this mf couldn’t have timed it better

- he likes romantic kisses

- he also likes to just peck your lips

- but that's only if he can’t snatch you away and make out with you

- straying a little off topic but

- kaeya fucking LOVES cuddling you at night and making you face him so he can just smooch you right there whenever he wants

▏𝘓𝘐𝘚𝘈;

- lisa loves to kiss your hands.

- such a gentlewomen <3

- she’s, like, so fucking sweet

- she’ll take your hands in hers and kiss your knuckles and it's just so soft and UGH

- when handing you books, she’ll snatch your hand and give it a quick kiss before waving you goodbye

- literally just

- i can’t stop saying this but,

- she’s SO SWEET.

- lisa would hold your hand tightly as you two walk down the street, occasionally bringing it up to her mouth as she’d kiss your knuckles and give her a smile

- she’ll never pass up a chance to kiss your pretty hands

- she’ll never pass up a chance to kiss you in general, honestly

▏𝘑𝘌𝘈𝘕;

- jean loves to kiss your forehead.

- goodnight kisses on the forehead as she gets in bed beside you >>>

- she’s probably taller than you so its like the most easy to access place for her tbh

- jean is so sweettttt

- so gentle and loving with her partner

- she’d kiss you and give you a small reassuring affirmation afterwards

- “you’re doing great, love, keep it up.”

- “i love you so much, you know that, right?”

- “i’ll never leave your side, even in death.”

- “let me know if you need anything, okay?”

- it’s just

- so goddamn cute

- she’d only do it when she felt like its needed though

- taking her face in her hands as she pulls you in so she can kiss your forehead when you’re stressing out before embracing you and hugging you while gently rubbing you back-

- she even gives you the option to shove her away if you want, and she won’t get offended or upset or anything

- she’s just so comforting with her kisses <3

▏𝘋𝘐𝘓𝘜𝘊;

- diluc loves to kiss your shoulder.

- first off, this man isn’t too big of a fan of PDA…

- so kissing in public is a no no unless nobody is looking

- then he often slips you a quick peck

- but he much prefers to kiss when he knows you’re alone

- his favorites are when he’s cuddling you in bed and just kinda kisses and sucks on your shoulder bc its soft and feels nice to him

- he’ll trail up your neck, to your lips, and then back down

- he’s super gentle about it AGAIN

- also i imagine that he’s just super duper warm

- he already wears that heavy ass coat

- but the pyro vision automatically makes him warmer to the touch

- he’s fine, i promise, just really warm

- so like imagine being held in his warm, strong arms while he gently gives you shoulder kisses

- its so cuteee

- diluc also likes it when he’s doing paperwork at his desk and you come to pester him. he likes it when you start whining and get in his lap to distract him

- because then he’ll just trap you in his arms

- “is this what you wanted?”

- and then, if nobody else is inside or if the maids have a day off, he’ll probably just kinda slide your shirt off a bit and smother your shoulders and neck in kisses

▏𝘝𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘐;

- venti loves to kiss your neck.

- VENTI.

- its so bad

- especially when he gets tipsy

- he’ll literally just kinda blend bodies with you and his lips never leave your neck

- also he knows where your soft spot/sweet spot is so just be warned, he’s gonna target it

- he’ll hold you from behind and find your favorite spot, sucking and kissing it before slowly trailing off… and then he comes right back to it, 2x the effort.

- he gets really handsy when kissing

- like he’ll probably grab at anything

- so yk

- be warned

- you can also bribe him to give you more kisses

- just promise him a drink and he’ll endlessly kiss you

- but like uphold your promise

- because you’re not getting anymore kisses until he gets that damn wine

- he’ll kiss you in any situation

- he prefers to kiss your neck from behind, but he can do it from the front too

- he also likes the back because he can just bury his face in your hair and it smells good so

- why wouldnt he want to ?

▏𝘈𝘓𝘉𝘌𝘋𝘖;

- albedo loves to kiss your chest.

- “its for science”

- no its not.

- he just likes to kiss your chest.

- he’ll only go as far as your clothes allow

- tbh it's probably because they’re warm

- he isn’t particularly gentle or anything, actually

- he’s more rough with them tbh

- albedo likes to run his tongue along your skin before suckling on it

- then he’ll actually kiss it

- he’s a weirdo

- tbh he probably doesn’t kiss you that often

- it's more like

- spread out

- unless you ask specifically for him to kiss you more

- which he may or may not do

- he may just give you a look because he’s busy

- or he’ll indulge you

- who knows

- tbh i can’t tell with this man

▏𝘙𝘖𝘚𝘈𝘙𝘐𝘈;

- rosaria loves to kiss your cheek.

- she definitely doesn’t kiss often

- or like

- at all

- but when she does, she kisses you like a ghost

- as in you almost can't feel it

- she much prefers to kiss your cheek, as its a soft and simple gesture that she can do at any time

- but again, she doesn’t kiss often

- so when you do find this blessing upon you, don’t hope for too much

- she won’t give you the proper kiss to the lips that you may want, because most of the time she’s busy and doesn’t have the time or feel very deserving of sharing such a nice moment with you

- so a peck on the cheek will do and then she’s off again

- tbh she hates the church and protecting mondstadt

- because she doesn’t have the time to kiss you like the wants

- but dw

- she’ll make it up to you

▏𝘌𝘜𝘓𝘈;

- eula loves to kiss your knuckles.

- she was raised by aristocrats

- so like

- kissing is a thing

- she won’t do too often

- until you’re married

- because why waste her kisses on someone who’ll break up with her?

- no

- she’ll take her vengeance if you leave her

- so like

- don’t.

- anyways

- eula likes getting down on one knee and kissing your knuckles

- because it's romantic

- and she’s a knight

- isn’t that what the night typically does for his princess?

- as far as she knows, yes, yes it is

- so she’s gonna do it for you

- as a greeting

- and a farewell

- and just because she can

- of course in private she won’t make such a big deal about it

- she’ll just kinda snatch your hand (regardless of what you’re doing), and press her lips to your knuckles

- she really really enjoys doing it because it reminds her of those little stories about a princess and a knight

- you’re her prince/princess and she’s your loyal knight <3

▏𝘔𝘐𝘒𝘈;

- mika loves to kiss your nose.

- shy.

- shy.

- shy.

- again, does not kiss you often

- but it's more often than like rosaria or albedo or eula.

- he’s just really really really nervous to kiss you

- like what if he messes up???

- he doesn’t wanna mess up!!

- so instead of kissing your lips

- he kisses your nose

- why?

- because he thinks your nose is cute

- but also because it helps him a little

- concentration wise

- this way he cant mess it up!

- right?

- right..?

- he’s telling himself that

- he just likes to kiss your nose

- mika thinks it's soft and cute but so is your whole face!!

- he’d pepper your face in kisses if he could

- but most attention kissing-wise is given to your nose

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thank you for reading !

have a great day/night !

Requests: OPEN

﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋

[absolutebl]

Lovesick 2014 versus Lovesick 2024

Rebooting the OG BL, Thailand? Are you sure that's wise?

I don't think anyone is ready for the depths I'm about to go to. But the gauntlet was thrown and comparisons must be made.

Generally when an IP is being remade by a different country I try to cut it slack and evaluate based on fresh eyes and different standards. But this is an actual reboot, not a reinterpretation.

Challenge accepted, Thailand.

A tiny bit of background......

I was one of those who watched Lovesick (LS14 aka the original) early on in my BL journey. No, not when it was airing, but the BL cut when it was first put up on YT (or maybe it was grey first?) hard subbed by fans way back before Netflix picked it up (and then dropped it). So yeah, it's been a while. and I LOVED it. I've rewatched it MULTIPLE times.

I like YA narratives and I enjoy high school BL and that is probably all Lovesick's fault. But nostalgia is a toxic emotion, so I'm trying to give the reboot (LS24 aka the new version) some credit.

But for those who don't know Love Sick is The Original Thai BL. Do not argue. It just is.

The plan is to do a general round up and comparison of broad aspects of script, filming, and acting at the very end, but as it airs I decided to do a "watch off." You ready?

And now......

Boys in Blue Shorts

LS24 Episode 1 versus LS14-s1 Episodes 1, 2, 3, 4 

They did a smart thing tailoring the whole thing down to just the BL thread from the original. And removing the opening party sequence is definitely a win.

However, with less time spent on all the ensemble characters in the opening three episodes, it’s a lot harder to keep such a large cast of characters straight (irony), especially the music club.

Also they materially damage the evolution of Noh & Phun's romance by losing the actual first sleepover and the "eating out with the girls" scenes, which really bonded the two boys in friendship prior to the "water fight crash into me" romantic beginning. By skipping to just the first flush of romance, PhunNoh feels rushed.

* UPDATE!! Spies report in that a lot of the stuff I complain about missing in the 2024 version is in the uncut version on iQIYI. (Which is longer by as much as 25%!) So I am rewatching it there and updating this post accordingly.

We got the entire arc of their first brush with love in just episode one of LS24. Which comes off as fast and cliffs-notes esk. However, it's more in line with modern Thai BL (which is rarely slow burn) and also more sexy and physical, less intimate and emotional. 

I've never liked the first two episodes of LS14, but episodes 3 & 4 are killer. Not to mention important to the plot and to the history of Thai BL.

In the end, because the cutting floor choices impacted the weight and emotional resonance of the main romance thread, I’m (still) going to give this one to the original. But you absolutely must watch the uncut version of the new version, it makes a massive difference.

2014 wins (but only just)

LS24 Episode 2 versus LS14-s1 Episodes 5, 6, 7 

The "Phun sick at Noh's house" is a lot more flirtatious in the new version but I missed the shoulder in the car and Noh snapping at Aim from the original. But I like Noh choosing to be a bolster pillow and offering himself (rather than being coerced), and the near kiss is better in the new version.

The new version also makes Phun more pitiable, like he sees Noh as a place/person of refuge. I like that a lot better for his character (and queerness).

Making Aim’s quandary (and personality flaws) nested in an actual queer crises (similar to Phun's) is a better tactic for sympathy, so this second ep really got me with some nice modernizations.

Phun freezing Noh out strikes hard in both versions but we lost Noh's identity crisis and Phun's crisis of conscience this time around.

The "letting go of the hand" is more powerful in the original, but it was also pretty good in the new one.

I hate to do this but, I have to......

2024 wins 

I say this knowing that the hand in the bookstore is and forever will be one of the most iconic moments in BL history.

If you disagree with me you can, literally, talk to the hand.

LS24 Episode 3 versus LS14-s1 Episodes 8, 9, 10 

The drunken confession, kiss, and the escape to the beach.

No kiss in the new version (which is WILD), but the old version hardly counted either.

In 2024 they have to make Phun have a long term crush and Noh be softer over gay feels to compensate for a tighter timeframe. These changes I don’t mind, but it does modernize the BLness of it all.

I really like that Phun was questioning his own sexuality when he initially asked Noh to fake date, and that the real reason was that he was testing himself. That is, frankly, more realistic to a queer coming of age, and makes the fake dating plot lest stupid. And it makes Phun a more likable character.

The shouting confessions in the new version were really cute too. As was the crying.

But I’m sad that we got no kiss and no back hug or chin down hug.

The original is so much more poignant, and so much more messy and so much more teenage about everything.

I cried in the original and I didn’t in the reboot.

"If it takes no time at all to fall in love, why does it hurt so bad to say goodbye?" 

Whatever way that script is translated, it’s a great line. 

Ep 10 from 2014 is a real dud tho. 

Argh! What to do? This one is a draw. 

No winner. 

An interesting thing about this show i never thought about during my many watches of the original: Phun has a harder time, even though he brought it on himself, partly because Noh is accustomed to being like where Phun is not. Phun, as the rich kid, is used to being envied and admired even respected. But not genuinely liked. The fact that Noh genuinely liked him for him (and not what he has) is a huge reason he can't let go.

I think the newer version showcases Phun's character in general a lot better than the original, and yeah I do think that is partly a superior actor this time around. Sorry, White.

LS24 Episode 4 versus LS14-s1 EPisodes 11, 12 & LS14-s2 Episodes 1, 2 

Earn loans the money and sports day commences.

Necklace drama and Phun’s jealousy, especially in the council room, is better in the new version. It’s just more vicious and petty and appropriate to teenagers. Plus a proper kabedon.

I did miss the face touch, forehead kiss, and “we don’t actually belong to each another” line. 

Argh that was SUCH are great line.

Not to mention the iconic standing in the street:

But, again, the opening eps of season 2 back in 2015 were very much not good, so condensing them down is an improvement.

Decisions, decisions.

No I can't, it's a draw again.

No winner.

LS24 Episode 5 versus LS14-s2 Episodes 2, 3, 4

Sports day continues, Phun thwarts Earn, the overalls scene du jour. 

Earn, the original, remains one of the greatest queer role models ever put into a BL. There is just no contest, sorry not sorry.

He is the King.

The new version has a public shoulder lean plus and epic "MINE" glare. You know I love a claiming.

But the big after party is much better in the old version.

But the switch of Golf’s character to Grace and the reason she left the school is absolutely genius and possibly my favorite change that has been made in the new series so far.

Oh but I really LOVE the drunken bathtub scene in the original.

This is a hard call.

But I simply must give it to the original. (Super props on Gracie tho, nice call 2024.)  

2014 wins 

LS24 Episode 6 versus LS14-s2 Episodes 5, 6, 7, 8, 8, 10

This new version speaks out loud more of the angst and messiness. The original let that simmer and be shown more than it was told. Interesting twist on the video evidence. 

(I love the tiny side couple of tough kid + the dork of the music club. Nice little ship, that.)

And...... We’re done with the beach visit already? The original took 4 eps! Which definitely could’ve been condensed down. Still no sunrise after sleeping in lawn chairs, no confession no nothing. Also lost one of the most iconic lines in all BL by leaving that section out.

It’s a terrible feeling, not knowing where the line is between us.

It’s so good. Hard to forgive the new version for losing it. Not to mention there's no Noh calling Earn to ask for his advice and Earn being torn over what to do with a bisexual crisis. Also "morning kiss krab."

But episode 9 of the original is entirely unnecessary and large chunks of 8 and 10 are as well. I can’t believe I entirely blocked out forgot about the singing competition. I mean, this is me, I always fast-forward through most of the singing stuff, but I forgot this whole part of season two.

Again, I lament the loss of iconic moments from the original script more than anything else, but because of the sheer quantity of superfluous flack in the original, and the fact that the new Phun is the prettiest pouty baby, this point has to go to the new version. 

2024 wins

LS24 Episode 7 versus LS14-s2 Episodes 11, 12, 13, 14

New Phun’s bitch face really is exceptional. I kind of enjoy everybody ribbing the two of them because they have no idea what’s actually going on. 

End of the auditions and the “repairing the couch Earn flirts” scene. Phun v jelly. I do like the way Earn puts it in this one, basically “I can’t fight against you if you don’t even know what you’re fighting for.” AKA you aren’t a worthy opponent. 

He’s nicer in this version. In the original, the confrontation between these two was much nastier. 

I love how Noh consciously winds Phun up in this version. It was really nice to see Noh get a bit of his own back. Of course Phun is sulky about it. He didn’t deserve to be rewarded with Noh’s confession but at least he didn’t let it just rest there, but gave his own back. We lost the problematic “not gay” line in the new version, which is very good. BUT we also lost the original shouting “I like you” across the court for all the nongs to overhear. Which is sad. Plus new version has much less Pete. Original ep 12 was epic.

We lost the phone flirting from the original, which was very cute. So I did very much miss that. 

The party at Noh’s. 

In the original, this has probably the best sequence of scripting in BL history. (Noh & Golf through the door) Where Noh talks about what it means to truly love somebody.

Mostly because they cut that bit out in the new version, I’m afraid I have to give this one to the original.

2014 wins

LS24 Episode 8 versus LS14-s2 Episodes 15, 16

The clip is discovered, the after effects of the party, the showering with Ohm, and the confrontation over Aim.

Okay so the post it love note of sweetness is better in 2024.

The Per/Win story arc never interested me in 2014 and I’m not enjoying it in 2024 either. But Mick & Ohm are better in 2024. Nong Mick is a standout character, and a brilliant glow up in this version. Confident little shit (affectionate). 

Helpful boyfriend Phun was darling. The bits where they are together as a couple really are the best. It’s when the rest of the world intrudes that things goes south.

I absolutely loved Aim's confrontation with her mother in the new version. It was stellar. And something that would never have been depicted 10 years ago.

Ah those classic high school trials and tribulations when your boyfriend has footage of your girlfriend with another girl. We’ve all been there.

Honestly, this is a much more messy and much better break up for Aim and Phun. More dramatic and more public. I like that change. 

All that said we lost Earn and the rejection in the theater. Still this one was an easy call:

2024 wins 

(How crazy, by the way, that as I type this: Ngern is opposite Oat OF ALL PEOPLE in Fourever You, Pineare and Sammy are ALSO in that show, August is finally in a leading role in a different remake, Addicted Heroin, Gunsmile is BACK in a cameo and this is the show he returned too away from GMMTV. We live in wild times.)

LS24 Episode 9 versus LS14-s2 Episodes 17, 18

The music competition ends + the big break up.

I like Earn’s sincerity and open admission in the new version, and I like how genuine and delicate Noh is coping with someone crushing on him. Probably because he knows how painful it is from the other side.

The conversation between Phun and Aim was much better and more kind in the new version, too. 

Noh’s cute pink raver cartoon outfit was everything. 

All in all I’m not wild about the original episodes of this segment. Sure there were a few things that I missed but none that I remembered well enough without the rewatch. So for this and that great communication around the break up: 

2024 wins

Since the number of the old episodes being squeezed into the new version has gone down, I’m assuming they aren’t planning on encompassing all of Season 2 in 2024. I suspect we’re gonna lose the camp in the forest section. Which is a shame, is has some of my favorite scenes.

LS24 Episode 10 versus LS14-s2 Episodes 19, 20, 21

2024 Phun actually turns into Dangerous Babygirl when he is flirting, who knew? (Dangerous Babygirl is a new archetype I have just invented. Yes, I'm pleased with myself.) Noh, who is a nice goodboy, doesn’t stand a chance. Neither does Jeed, since Phun has damn near perfected “back off bitch" face.

The arm drape public claiming, it gets me every time. It has done since SOTUS. I love to see it show back up again in a show that's already harkening back to the early days. It's like they used a trope that wasn't in the original to remind us of the past.

Nong Mick is hands-down my favorite character in the new version. I love him so much I can’t stand it. Consistent Nong King behavior. He uses his cute for evil and I love it.

The dunk tank part is better in 2014 and very funny. The kiss not kiss is a thing (and was a thing at the time) but I'm hoping we get a much better one in 2024 so I wasn't sad to see it left out this time. The one thing Thailand learned before most other BL producing countries was that boys can kiss (but it would take another 3 year and MaxTul to learn 'em good.) The concert at the convent is too long either way, but it’s much longer in the original. So for that alone the original gets docked. You know me and singing. 

That said, Phun stealing Noh from the two girls is pretty epic in the original. Hard to beat. As is Per and the screaming girls. But that Per scene wouldn’t work in 2024 with his character since he's a completely different personality. Also that level of comedy kinda requires Sing to execute.

Finally we get the confession on the agreement become a couple.

Noh is a lot more game and sweet and kind and less awkward in the new version. And since secondhand embarrassment is rough for me I prefer this new one. Sure, it still feels like the 2014 is more authentic to this kind of high school queer experience. (Maybe that’s because Noh's confused awkwardness is old-fashioned and so am I.) But 2024's lap sitting and crying together was truly spectacular.

All in all a hard choice, but I'm afraid I have to say:

2024 wins 

LS24 Episode 11 versus LS14-s2 Episodes 22, 23, 24

Waking up together. first date, the famous piano scene, Yuri's lament + Yuri catches them kissing. 

This is where the teen awkward comes to the front of the class and misspells it's name...... in both versions. And it’s always a challenge to watch because Phun is so ready to come out to the world (despite the fact that he’s more at risk with his family) and Noh is so not ready (despite the fact that we know his family and friends would be happy for him). 

It stands in contrast to their personalities too, Phun who is reserved and introverted, while Noh is cheerful and outgoing. And yet it always felt (and feels) very true to character as well. Noh wants to be liked and he's scared of being teased. Phun is more sure of himself, and with fewer quieter friends.

All the couples are so sweet in the new version where as, frankly, in 2014 one I only ever gravitated to Phun, Noh, Earn, and Pete.

In this episode (11) I enjoy how they're using all these likable side couples to foil our main couple by depicting all the different ways coming out (and being out) can go: from the good to the bad to the ugly. It amplifies the angst and the pacing in this episode and it highlights that both Phun and Noh are correct in their (un)willingness to be openly together. Because they really don’t know what the consequences might be, or even if there are consequences. 

In general, this segement was full of pining, angst, and communication issues and I thought bundled together in 2024 made for a much more tense and engaging sequence than the original. So this was an easy win for the new version (even if I would have preferred a real kiss).

2024 wins 

Also props to wardrobe (HA!) for Noh's off duty outfits. I love his punk goes to Disneyland (with preppy boyfriend) aesthetic.

LS24 Episode 12 & 13 versus LS14-s2 Episodes 25, 26, 27, 28, 34

The away competition, the book carrying, pizza party, meeting the aunt, starting to act like a couple. pun v dad 

I like getting more Phun/Dad conflict backstory in the new one.

But I thought that Noh freaking out and coping with what he had to do to break up with Yuri in the older version was more authentic.

That sad I’ve never been wild about how resistant Noh is in the original to kissing and physical intimacy. That still bothers me, even though I know it’s a sign of the 2014 times. I like the more comfortable physical affection between the two characters in the newer version.

The confession to friend group was good in both versions but 2014 is ICONIC. The teasing Phun was way better than 2014. Still, the physical intimacy was so much better in 2024 so for me......

2024 wins

(close tho)

The matchup is getting a little uneven at this juncture we seem to be jumping around and borrowing bits from other parts.

LS24 Episode 14 versus LS14-s2 Episodes 35

They moved the Pam bit from the end earlier, which is actually a good idea. Although I would’ve removed it entirely. 

They also substantially took steps to fix Phun‘s dad character in the new version. I really liked that a lot. (I guess we know which political party that dad belongs to this time.) 

Honestly? The teaching part (prior to finals) in the original is one of my favorite mini sequences in BL. But the new version was even better. I didn’t think they were gonna beat it out. But they did.

Them sneaking around to sleep together at the camp never gets old. And I mean that, since it’s been 10 years and it still gets me in the throat. So good.

This is a hard call, but if they’re gonna cut out Noh giving Yuri the shirt, and Yuri’s defensive now in the girls bathroom......? The old one is definitely gonna win. As it stands right now I’m gonna give this one to the older version. But a lot of the changes that the new one made I really appreciated so I reserve the right to change my mind after the final ep.

2014 Wins 

LS24 Episode 15 versus LS14-s2 Episodes 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 36

I’m quite pleased that they kept most of the stuff in the forest. And I actually like that they swapped it around so that this was the end of the series.

I think it makes for a better more satisfying ending. I like that they didn’t have Pete pine.

But. Still. Heaven forfend they give us an actual kiss. That part I did find very as disappointing. Frankly, these two would’ve done fine with a smooch.

I don’t know. In the end I think there are points in either version's favor. Neither of these Love Sicks really come out on top.

They’re both kind of representative of their time although this new one managed to be oddly nostalgic in ways that didn’t have to do with the original so much as what they chose to keep about that original.

I think, just because of the iconic nature of that last shot and the breaking of the forth wall that I'm going to hand the final to the original.

2014 Wins

The Leader Board

2014 = 5 points

2024 = 7 points

Other Factors

Script 

When they cut down this show for the new version, we lost some of the greatest and best lines ever scripted in BL of all all time. A few of them could’ve been left in. Because of that, because they didn’t keep the very best parts of the script (which is soem of the best parts of the whole show), despite the fact that they could have...... 

2014 Wins hands down 

Music

The music in the new version was band and unoticicable, but the music in the original was memorable and iconic (if not to my personal taste). Another easy win for the original.

2014 Wins

CAST 

Main couple 

I actually think that the leads in the new version are better actors than White & Captain. I know this comes off as heresy. But I just think they are superior in terms of subtlety and nuance. I also think that the new pair had much better chemistry. It feels like these two were workshopped whereas the originals definitely were not. For couple chemistry, especially at the beginning? 

2024 Wins 

Side couple 

Ohm & Mic had even less screen time than in the original, but not by much. And I have to say partly because of the actor switch between seasons in the original, that I liked this pair a million times better in the new version. 

2024 Wins 

Friendship group

The friendship aspect of the music group (Noh and Ohm's relationship in particular) is incredibly important to this story. Without it, the fabric of the piece feels substantially less robust. Therefore the original has to win in this regard. 

2014 Wins

Noh 

There is something endlessly appealing about the clumsy rawness of Captain's performance in this show. His version of Noh is just so utterly endlessly likable. And he has a genuinely adorable and an appealing screen presence. Progress did a good job, but Captain is just a little bit more charismatic.

2014 Wins 

Phun 

I am a bit of a sucker for a boy who’s good with his eyebrows, and Almond just does better eye work than White ever did. Also he shows and expresses his genuine interest and even attraction in Noh way better, probably in part because of how BL has changed in the intervening decade. But also, sorry White, Almond is just a better actor than you were back then.

2024 Wins 

Yuri 

In the original, Yuri starts out as endlessly annoying, but goes on an incredibly satisfying and quite brilliant character arc to become one of Noh’s best friends and one of the great supporters of his growth and a major linchpin of the show. There’s absolutely no way the newer version could ever compare to the original. 

2014 Wins 

Aim 

While I prefer the actress in the original, I really liked the depth that queerness gave to Aim's character in the new version. It made her a lot more relatable and understandable, even though it was a bit of a copout. It also allowed her to stay part of the narrative. I really like having the mean girl be a lesbian. It makes what she and Phun are doing to each other a little bit more like a mutual beard confusion situation and less like cheating. It’s also more feminist than punishing a female for sexual proclivity. Therefore, I’m gonna give this to the new version. 

2024 Wins

Earn 

This is a really really hard one, since Earn is my favorite character. And possibly one of my favorite characters in all BL. The original source of my ever present second lead syndrome, quite frankly. But, in the end, I can’t deviate, Ngern just set the bar so high. I'm so happy he's returned to our screens.

2014 Wins

Pete 

I know he’s a minor character, but I always  loved poor Pete , and in the original August was one of my favorite actors. (And my number one pick to star in a BL.) I really loved that the new version made both these characters honestly gay, but the original kinda didn’t have that option. Still, despite my love, I’m calling this one a draw since the first Pete won for character and the second Pete won for story. 

No winner 

FINAL TALLY

2014 = 11 points 2024 = 11 points

I swear I didn't intend it to come out that way.

(source)

[iratempestatis]

Saw you asking for Xiao requests and thought I could send some!

This might be a little odd one, but... A self-aware Xiao finding out that he has fans like us who love him kinda romantically? It could be fun!

Xiao Waxes Poetic About Fandom

Xiao x gn!reader, 1.5k words. Anon I'm so sorry but I had actually no idea how to write this adgvhfcdcb. I tried my best but I kept giggling about lost 50/50s and and my 80 cr Xiao never critting without Motivation (crit food). I actually considered making hcs instead but I kept writing drabbles instead. Then I tried to write a fic, but kept writing... hcs... Perhaps if inspiration strikes me I'll revisit this idea someday, but! For now, allow me to present you with what feels like a raccoon in a tiara and a feather duster dress-

If Xiao could control player summons, he’d be yours already.

Unfortunately, he cannot- ergo you’ve made a hundred and forty pulls with not a Xiao in sight.

You've never hated Diluc more in your life, he can tell. Poor Diluc.

There are twenty minutes left for his banner to disappear for Devs know how long. He knows your luck is decidedly not his fault, but feels guilty nonetheless. What if he’s treated the same as Ganyu? Or, Devs forbid, Eula? 

You really did look forward to getting him, building him. He was so startled by your devotion- seated on that banner, he could see you anxiously open your inventory, check if you had enough primogems. You pre-farmed for him. You made silly little rituals for him(he winced when they failed). It was absurd. He was a high investment hyper carry. Why bother?

But you pulled Furina, and you pulled Faruzan. You don't have Xianyun (yet, he thinks, in both awe and alarm as he sees her ascension and talent materials in your inventory.)

He cannot fathom it. 

Perhaps you wanted Xianyun for herself- but then you also have Faruzan with all of her constellations lit up. And you also have Furina- and god, nevermind, you really did want him. The set you intend to put on Xianyun is the Song of Days Past. Four piece. With energy recharge substats.

You’re so close. Seventy. You get Layla. He echoes you when he mutters “but you’re not even on the banner!”

Twenty minutes left. You caress the screen. (That's a bit much.) Your brows are pinched together, lower lip worried by your teeth.

“I might have to break my free to play status,” you whisper.

It's not worth it! He wants to scream. Don't do it!

You bite your lip again as you find a chest. Primogem count: 159.

Oh dear.

“It’s fine,” you whisper. “It’s fine. This is fine.”

Xiao wishes he could make you go to bed somehow. You’ve been awake for hours. It’s fine even if you don’t pull him now, he returns like clockwork every lantern rite- hm? What are you pulling your Tighnari out for?

He knows you never really bothered to build him prior, purely because farming those fungi was a pain. He watches as you make Yelan rush up to the cliffs of the very Chasm before switching to Tighnari. When he realises what you’re doing, he buries his face in his palms. Your party members groan. Xiao wonders if you’re serious- you want to hit a bird in flight? With your aim?

“FOOL!” Faruzan shrieks. “Attack the ruin guard at Stormbearer instead! That achievement is much easier to get- Hat Guy, do something-“

“Too late.” He smacks his forehead with the back of his hand. “It’s started.”

Shing! Nothing Special, Just Practice.

What-?

You whoop, then cough and fall silent, anxiously peeking out of your room. Your fingers shake with trepidation as they land on the screen.

Wish x1.

Xiao feels a familiar tug as he hurtles through the air.

✦—————————————✦

Much to his immense surprise, this is an incredibly familiar story. Every time his banner rolls around there’s people that want him- spend for him, run amok collecting primogems for him. Farming for him. Giving him increasingly prettier and stronger polearms. Thrusting the Staff of Homa in his hands (sorry, Hu Tao).

He’s always a bit baffled, unless the person is someone already inclined to spend. He’s not a good choice for anyone’s account. He’s incredibly unflexible. A bit niche even. He doesn’t even do what his element is meant for.

Yet somehow you seem to enjoy running around with him. Making him special little layouts in the teapot. Insisting he collects your rewards every time. Making him speak to Katheryne every day (it’s so awkward every time, and she keeps laughing when your back is turned).

He remembers doing the Chasm quest with you. When it had begun, you were nothing short of gleeful, which brought him only anguish- he knew in part what had transpired and what was about to- and he knew you’d only be heartbroken by the end of this story.

And you were. You somehow managed to contain yourself till the very end- refusing to move to have even a sip of water until the quest concluded. You were patient- absorbing every every dialogue, every inch of text you could get your hands on.

To be loved is to be known, he thinks amusedly as you sniffle at the conclusion, then immediately open the wiki to confirm some tiny wretched detail. He can’t help but smile to himself a little as you angrily mutter profanities at the advertisements jumping out at you.

✦—————————————✦

“Is she SERIOUS.”

Xiao exhales softly as the Wanderer paces around the teapot. He hasn’t shut up since you logged in- because as soon as you finished your dailies, you occupied yourself straight away with painstakingly modifying the teapot (and crying over changes you accidentally forgot to save), all to welcome home the newest limited anemo five star. He’s been furious since he heard of her and ergo his potentially impending powercreep, much to the amusement of literally everyone besides Barbara, who feels sorry for him and Qiqi, who keeps forgetting who he even is. Xiao wishes he could tell you- he’s sure you’d laugh to no end, but even if he could you probably wouldn’t hear him right now since you’re currently occupied with one of your wretched rituals. This one involves Chongyun and- OH dear, no-

Furina grits her teeth as the glacial greatsword slams into the ground, straight through her neck. Chongyun looks like he really wishes the teapot had a bathroom. Xiao sighs.

Tiny fingers tug on his sleeve. Xiao blinks and turns around to face Sayu, her face puffy, her eyes crusty and glued shut. Eugh. Children really are something sometimes. Xiao considers wiping at her face with his sleeve, but… no. The Wanderer barks a laugh.

“What’s going on?” Sayu yawns. “Who are we pulling for?”

“Chasca,” Xiao says as the Wanderer hisses like a cat. “I wonder if she’ll need Faruzan too?”

They turn to Faruzan, sprawled like a corpse across the grass. You need to touch some too, Xiao thinks. You’ve wasted nearly an hour on the game today, and today has barely begun. He suspects you just like the thrill of gacha and are desperate for a five star. Weren’t you saving up for Xianyun? No matter.

Xiao knows you’ll never stop using him. You love him too dearly and sunk cost fallacy has effectively reeled you in, stored you away in a grimy little box. You’ve invested too much into Xiao to cast him aside now. But the Wanderer…

Barbara trots out the house just as the sky darkens, a cloudy depression opening up in the heavens. The Wanderer finally stops ranting, something about loyalty and actually amusing gameplay. Barbara puts the Tome of Eternal Flow away with a gasp upon noticing the giant HOLE in the sky (how did she just notice? Why is she gasping at the wishing screen when you open it thrice a day?) and gently nudges Faruzan out of her dysania to welcome home the newest anemo dps. Faruzan sniffles. Poor woman. It can’t be easy, dealing with him and the (thankfully, now quiet) ex Fatuus.

You pull. Xiao doesn’t bother holding his breath. It might as well be Bennett pulling, really because recently you’ve been getting exactly nothing of value. Another Faruzan, a Gorou for some godforsaken reason, four rainslashers, and so forth.

“Perhaps you’ll avoid your fourth betrayal,” Xiao muses. The Wanderer shoots him a startled glare, then laughs.

“Perhaps. You’re lucky, twink- NO!”

“Chasca, Flower-Feather Clan. Any disputes you need me to end for you? Depending on the situation, it could cost you a little di-“

✦—————————————✦

All things considered, it’s been a strange few years for Xiao. Since the game’s inception, he’s known he would be consigned to a solitary fate. He’s not a straightforward person, or particularly honest. He’s troublesome to play and troublesome to speak with. His chronicles are drenched in blood and anguish, quietly nestled away in softly murmured dialogue, artifact descriptions and optional adventures. Whatever love he was once showered with had long since washed away by the years that came after. And yet...

People continued to bother reaching past his exterior, reaching about with tender fingers. Wanting to know. Wanting to learn. They spoke of him. They took soft little bunches of their finite time and spun it into stories of him, art of him, words and adoration whispered and passed among one another in the communities they formed- that came together all because of their love for him.

It never failed to astonish him, fill him with gratitude so copious it was difficult to contain at times. It always drove him a bit insane- people loved him enough to painstakingly learn about him, strengthen him. That he was significant enough to sow the seeds of friendship formed by the common love felt for him.

Thinking about it makes him feel a bit silly. He’s just a character. He wonders if the others think about this as well (not Qiqi for sure) but he’s glad to have brought people someone real comfort after his fictional atrocities. Mortals… humans. He snorts a bit. He’ll try a bit harder to crit for you tomorrow.

[queerfables]

Alright GO fans, let's talk Sodom and Gomorrah. This biblical story comes up a few times in Good Omens canon, a kind of offhand mention each time, and the most interesting part to me is the implication that Aziraphale was there.

If you only know the cliff-notes version, you've probably heard it as the story of God condemning homosexuality to the point of wiping out several cities over it. Maybe you've heard this too, but - that's not exactly what happened. Look, I'm an atheist, I have no dog in this race. If I thought it was about smiting people for homosexuality, I'd be happy to call God a wanker and move on. But I've read the story of Sodom and Gomorrah (You can too! It's very short!) and I've read other parts of the Bible that reference it, and I think a much more straightforward interpretation is that it's about offering hospitality and protection to strangers. It's also about the consequences of wanton cruelty, and God laying waste to those deemed beyond salvation.

In Good Omens, the book, Aziraphale and Crowley discuss Sodom and Gomorrah this way:

"Come off it. Your lot get ineffable mercy," said Crowley sourly.

"Yes? Did you ever visit Gomorrah?"

"Sure," said the demon. "There was this great little tavern where you could get these terrific fermented date-palm cocktails with nutmeg and crushed lemongrass-"

"I meant afterwards."

"Oh."

According to the book, then, Aziraphale at least saw the city after it was destroyed. Maybe Crowley saw the aftermath too or maybe he just heard about it. They both understand it as horrific.

The show is more direct, and suggests that Aziraphale was there during the actual destruction. Gabriel asks if Aziraphale remembers Sandalphon. Aziraphale does.

"Sodom and Gomorrah. You were doing a lot of smiting and turning people into salt. Hard to forget."

Aziraphale regards Sandalphon warily during the conversation. I believe we're supposed to interpret this scene based on the popular understanding of Sodom and Gomorrah as cities that God wiped out because of the inhabitants' sins. The obvious implication, then, is that Sandalphon is the heavy, the one called in to deal with disobedience. He's trigger-happy, relishes violence, and Aziraphale has seen what he's capable of. From the careful way Aziraphale discusses their prior acquaintance, I think he feels the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah was a tragedy and believes Heaven's actions were disproportionate and unjust.

I'm confident this is how we're supposed to read the scene. In the context of the story, we're supposed to understand that Aziraphale doesn't approve of the smiting, and that he feels threatened by Gabriel and Sandalphon coming into his bookshop and pressing him about Armageddon. But I'm fascinated by what it would mean if Aziraphale and Sandalphon's history really tracks onto the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. Because if Good Omens' version of Sodom and Gomorrah is at all biblically accurate, and if Aziraphale was there... it's kind of mind-blowing, actually, that he still feels so much compassion for the people who died and still thinks Sandalphon was wrong.

I'm going to explain why, but fair warning, it gets ugly. I promise nobody is actually raped, and I think that promise in itself says plenty.

According to the Bible, Sodom and its surrounding cities are accused of being overrun with sin. God sends two angels to Sodom to verify this, intending to destroy everything if they find it to be true. In the world of Good Omens, I think one of these angels must be Aziraphale. The other one is likely Sandalphon, but in the Bible it's God rather than either of the angels who rains down burning sulfur on the cities so it's possible it's someone else, and Sandalphon is only on smiting duty. Without anything else to go on, though, let's assume it's Sandalphon.

So our two angels arrive at Sodom in the evening, and at the gate to the city, they meet Lot. Lot is an immigrant who has made his home in Sodom, and I think the implication is that this is why he's not completely steeped in sin like everyone else. In any case, he immediately offers to put the angels up for the night, and although they'd planned to stay in the square, Lot is really insistent. He is a good host! Also, he knows the city is dangerous. So the angels go to his house and he makes dinner for them, and then before they can go to bed, a mob shows up at the door.

See, the men of Sodom have heard about the strangers staying with Lot. They surround his house and demand he hand them over. The New King James Version puts it this way: And they called to Lot and said to him, "Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us that we may know them carnally." Several other translations say that the men wanted to "have sex with them". But I mean. It's a fucking mob. They've surrounded the house. We all get what this is, right?

So Lot goes out to meet the men, and he says "Don't do this terrible thing." Off to a good start! Then he says, "Tell you what, I have two virgin daughters. Do what you like to them and we'll say no more about it." Oh boy. Dad of the year award, right there. But still, he insists, "The angels are under my roof and my protection."

The men outside Lot's house are pissed. They say, "You're an outsider, who are you to judge us?" They threaten to do worse to him than to the angels. They swarm him and almost break the door down, but the angels pull him back inside.

The angels then strike the mob with blindness to stop them getting into the house. They say to Lot, "Look, you gotta take your family and get out of here. God sent us to see how bad things were and, uh, long story short, we're burning it all to the ground. You get it, right?"

Maybe you know the rest. Lot's son-in-laws don't believe him and won't leave the city. Lot's wife looks back and turns into a pillar of salt. Lot and his daughters take shelter in a small town called Zoar, and from there flee to the mountains. Everything else is destroyed.

It is a tragedy. The plains are leveled down to ash, until there's nothing left that can even grow. Was there really no one innocent in those cities? No children or animals? (You can't kill kids). Still, I think about that awful night under Lot's roof and I don't think I could blame anyone for giving up on all of it.

So what if that's the story? There were two angels in Sodom before it fell. What if it really was Aziraphale and Sandalphon, trapped through the night in a stranger's house, surrounded by men who want to rape them. Whatever their power as angels, that has to be terrifying.

If it was Sandalphon there with Aziraphale that night in Sodom, I have to wonder what he was like. There isn't any kinship or understanding from Aziraphale. Despite knowing the circumstances better than anyone, he still sees Sandalphon as a threat. Given that, I think Sandalphon must have taken a truly disturbing kind of joy in raining down vengeful fire and brimstone, beyond what you might expect from someone who was afraid or angry. Maybe he was never afraid; maybe instead he revelled in the violence building through the night as the reason he needed to tear everything down. Maybe he was afraid in the terrible way that exposes the depths someone will sink to to protect themselves (maybe offering his daughters was never Lot's idea). Or maybe Aziraphale just tried to reach out to him afterwards, to offer understanding and ask for some in return, and Sandalphon shot him down so coldly and viciously that Aziraphale knew immediately this wasn't something he was allowed to have feelings about. Whatever happened that night, it left Aziraphale feeling more of an outsider from Heaven than ever.

But if it happened that way, it happened this way too: Aziraphale survives a night like that, and when he looks out into the breaking dawn, he thinks, these cities don't deserve to burn. He sees the good in a place that's just shown him its absolute worst. I think that says everything about him as a character, actually. Of course he won't give up on Heaven. Of course he'll fight tooth and nail for his home on Earth. Whatever the worst is, there are still things worth saving. There are still, always, people worth protecting.

On that note, before I wrap this up, I want to go back to Lot's words to the men of Sodom, and draw a parallel that makes me feel some kind of way. Because when Lot declares the angels under his protection, what he says is essentially, "Do not do anything to these men, for they have come under the shadow of my roof for protection." And all I can think about, reading these lines, is Aziraphale standing in his bookshop as it's surrounded by hostile demons, and telling the angel under the shadow of his roof, "You came to me. I said I would protect you. And I will."

[buried-in-autumn-leaves]

I'm gonna be honest as someone who is VERY obvious ab the fact that Baxter is my favourite olba love interest, the way Derek is held to such a higher standard than him makes me like so upset 💀

Because this guy is genuinely such a nice person with a really bittersweet story and he's overlooked so constantly for just like.... BAXTER IDK LIKE-

This standard goes beyond just him, it applies to his family. Sure it's fair to say that Derek was parentified, but the idea that his parents are straight up bad people is just ignoring a huge part of Derek's character. Could they have maybe made MORE of an effort to take pressure off Derek's shoulders? Sure, definitely. But Derek put a lot of that on himself, it's insane to hold his parents to the crazy standard and then in the same breath go thirst over Cliff who literally bribes his kid to not be mad at him when he genuinely fucks up.

The inherent biasis against the poc characters in this franchise (conscious/intentional or not) are so strong. I think there's obviously some nuance with Cliff in this case since his ethnicity is 'unspecified', but that's also its own issue because of the fact that a large majority of people view white people as the default, so they end up making Cliff and Cove white for 'simplicities sake'.

That part btw has been posted about before by actual poc creators in the fandom (I'm not totally sure how they feel ab tags so I won't specify) so like they are def more qualified to speak on it than me, it's just a good point I think ab.

And again this isn't even to hate on Bax, that's my boy. I literally never shut up about his stupid ass. But the way Derek and his family are portrayed in fan content is just such an ick and I feel like a lot of you need to unpack why you think the way you do and fix your shit idk