#i'm not lying i'd love this WAY more if they put even a shred of effort into it

[queensectonia]

last night i was reminded of one of my extremely few Hater Moments (lighthearted) about this series and i never got around to fully articulating my thoughts on it, so it is once again time for our regularly-scheduled kirby rant:

the spider sectonia reveal was poorly-executed on every level.

to start with, this plot element was introduced when the series was in its worst throes of Not Putting The Fucking Lore In The Fucking Games, but I will happily concede that this reveal was at least in a game; just not the game it should have been in.

I almost wonder if the Sectonia Clone as a whole was a leftover from the fact that Robobot started out development as Triple Deluxe 2, but considering that a) TD2 was dropped pretty early on and b) Robobot is just full to the brim with fanservice and callbacks anyway, I don't feel there's much evidence for such a theory.

at any rate, reducing the otherwise very intriguing reveal of Sectonia's prior form to a blink-and-you'll-miss-it easter egg in an entirely different game is pretty... underwhelming. we've had plenty of "reveals" or cool nods and expansions to other lorebits in similar easter eggs, but none of them were nearly as important as "oh, by the way, here's what the character whose whole arc revolves around personal and physical image used to look like! in a totally unrelated game!"

but that's the tamest complaint. that's just the accessibility of this information, which could have been better but certainly could have been worse.

the biggest problem is Sectonia's design. it's bad. it is just not good, fellas. she is literally just genderbent Taranza. it fails visually, it fails conceptually, and it fails really hard story-wise.

this design was so uninspired that when people in the EN sphere first saw it, tons of people thought it just was Taranza. then when we got screenshots, model rips, etc., it was still so painfully similar to Taranza that it made people assume HAL was saying Taranza and Sectonia were related - which turned into just as much of a shitfight as you might think.

even if this weren't attached to such a crucial character reveal, it's just downright a bad design! instead of taking even the slightest efforts to differentiate Sectonia from Taranza, they did the laziest, most barebones "uhhhhhh what if taranza But Girl" design shift possible. she's wearing the exact same outfit as Taranza, just palette-swapped. so little effort went into both the concepting stage and the modelling stage. she's just Taranza's model with the merest tweaks to make sure you know this is a Girl Spider.

genuinely, I would be a hundred times more amenable to this entire plot point if HAL had just bothered to give her an actual design.

but the problem is, making Sectonia a spider kind of just fucks everything about her story and contradicts itself at multiple points.

the aesthetic and theme language in TD is very clear. this is one of the biggest strengths that both it and Robobot share - the identity and literary through-lines of both games pervade every single visual element of them. Robobot tells its tale of capitalistic tech-fuelled colonialism through every part of the game from level backgrounds, to enemy designs, right down to surgical decisions like mechanising the pinwheel tree that was such a fond image from KRtD. every tiny thing bore the mark of the HWC, whether metaphorically or literally, such that you spent the entire game never forgetting that there was one unified force behind all of this, and Haltmann at the end of the game was the culmination of this aesthetic.

TD did the exact same. every part of TD sells that it's a fantastical fairytale romp through a series of themed locations with a connecting thread of the invading Antr* force.

*(this is a way better romanisation than "antler" this is my hill)

if anything, I'd argue that TD's design language in this respect is tighter than Robobot's, because Robobot had a fairly broad theme of "industrialisation and hi-tech space future sci-fi" to draw its foes from, whereas TD had to condense its antagonists under the stricter banner of "evil insect army".

and they did incredibly. every point of design about the Antrs points straight to Sectonia and draws from her in some way or another. it's absolutely seamless. she's the perfect logical endpoint of Antr design from every angle: she's the literal queen bee of this insect hive and the perfect expression of their anatomy. she's bigger than the biggest Antr. she's more developed. she's more powerful. they were so careful and thorough about this design conceit that Antrs have multiple stages that all march straight up to Sectonia. we go from the tiny bronto burt and waddle dee clones with their little wings and eyes that seem so familiar, to the Antr soldiers, all the way up to the Lord Antrs who are one step away from Sectonia. they have stripes and facial markings to echo hers. it's all wrapped up with the genius bow of combining ants, bees, and wasps: they're all hymenoptera! the metaphor goes even deeper than that because there's a species of wasp that parasitizes spiders! controls them, even!

... except no actually, we've decided she's a spider too and all of that buildup and artful design means nothing.

it's awful. it's taking what is far and away one of the best-executed designs in the series and saying that all of that buildup and blatant connection of ideas meant nothing.

but that's just the visual end of it. Sectonia actually being a spider makes no sense in the lore, either.

first of all, TD's incredible design sense and artistic direction applies to Taranza as well. while he's obviously derivative of Magolor, within the context of TD he's clearly meant to evoke the sky fairies. he's designed to look much more like them than any of the insect characters. he's got the same body type, he moves the same way as them, he's a sky fairy with a spider theme. the game draws visual parallels between him and the sky fairies more than once; this is not unintentional.

this is part of what makes Taranza's role as Sectonia's right hand more impactful: he's only insect adjacent, and the design language would have you believe he's more closely related to the fairies than the insects, so him being with the bad guys is notable and interesting.

so why would a spider character be the ruling monarch of the insect hive? why would the line go ant, bigger ant, fancy ant, armoured ant, spider, wasp?

I mean, shit dude, the miiverse posts directly tell us that Sectonia used to "look like her insect underlings". it really feels like the decision to make her be a spider was a total spur-of-the-moment one, between how badly it interacts with the rest of the story and how lazy the design was. Sectonia's backstory had a couple of holes in it regarding the actual timeline of things, but those were just mysteries regarding what order everything happened in. she was both a bodyjacker and a good queen at one point, which don't exactly jive, so it becomes interesting to think about how those two facts coexist. on the other hand, her being a spider just gets shoehorned in there for no apparent reason other than to... heighten her connection to Taranza?

and that just dovetails into the complete mockery HAL made of Taranza's character development after TD, and THAT is a rant for another time.

there was just no point to it all. Sectonia being a spider adds nothing, removes a bunch of nuance and intrigue, and muddies both her story and the background world of TD.

[delphi-dreamin]

Psssst, I heard you're having a rough time. Hope this helps 💗

Lucifer comes home after a long day of meetings with the demon lord and his officials and sees you asleep on his bed in nothing but one of his white button down shirts.

Your top half looks so sweet, lying on your side. Hands resting underneath your beautiful face. You're obviously having a good dream because you've got the cutest smile on your lips.

Your bottom half however, looks mouthwatering and so fucking tempting. The shirt your wearing, HIS shirt, barely covers the curve of your ass. So tantalizing plump, he wants to take a bite.

He makes his way to your sleeping form, shredding his jacket and loosening his tie. He's still undecided on whether he wants to just slip in beside you and fall asleep holding you against him or put his head between your legs and have you wake up to him tongue fucking you.

The answer comes to him when you sigh his name and he sees your thighs rub together. Oh yes, its that sort of dream is it? He's smirking down at you as he slowly strips his gloves off. Well, allow him to make your dream come true.

He maneuvers you gently, making sure not to wake you, so you are lying on your back. Such a pretty sight, legs spread open, your lips already glistening from your dream. Your dream about him.

Hovering over you for just a second admiring the view before placing an open mouth kiss over your clit. Your hips buck up into his mouth as a reflex. He chuckles against your mound, such a good girl for him even in your sleep.

Dragging his tongue down your slit, reveling in your taste, it makes him groan. He needs more of you, you're becoming his little obsession. Ever since that first taste he can't get enough of you.

One hand grips your thigh, perhaps a little to tightly, while the other comes up to split your lips apart as he continues to lap at your cunt. So sweet, and just for him. His perfect little pet.

He feels your hands in his hair as his tongue enters your wet cavern. Tugging on his greying locks, and moaning his name so wantonly. So you're finally awake? Good, he'd rather you be awake to remember this.

Fuck you taste so good, he can't get enough. He grabs you by your thighs and roughly drags you to the end of the bed. Throwing your legs over his shoulders before dipping back into your wet heat. Your little moans are music to his ears, egging him on to take more of you.

He moves his attention to your aching bud, loving the way you cry out in response. His long fingers taking his tongues place your tight little hole, pumping in and out of you, and curling up to reach that place that makes you cry out in bliss for him. Only him.

Looking up at you, your mouth is hanging open and your panting desperatly. Your pupils are blown with lust as you look down at him. You clearly like what you see, he isn't even naked. Still in his white shirt, with the sleeves rolled up. He hasn't even taken off his vest.

He feels you start to tense beneath him, your babbling his name and a bunch of pleas and praises. You're so close, he's almost as desperate as you for your release.

"Be a good girl and cum for me, won't you darling." He commands before swirling his tongue around you clit. You're answering whimper and the buck of your hips has his hardened cock twitch in his pants.

You cum crying out his name so loud he's sure his brothers must have heard you. Gushing into his mouth so deliciously, he continues to finger fuck and suck on your clit through your orgasm until you're begging him to stop.

He frowns as he pulls away slightly to look up at you. Removing his fingers so he can lick them clean.

"I'm only trying to clean up your mess darling, be a good girl and let me." You barely squeak out a "Lucifer, please" before his strong arms are holding you down and his mouth starts lapping at your entrance.

😘😘😘

-🌞

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

What a thing to wake up to this morning!! If I'd had time before I had to get ready for work...🫠🫠🫠

Thank you, lovely! This definitely helped! (I didn't just reread this at work. And I'm definitely not red as a goddamn tomato sitting on console.)

[eclectic-grandma]

🔮

Ramblings on mental illness fuckery under the cut. I gotta put it somewhere.

I had. Such a pleasant day. Pleasant is the best word, and I'm trying to approach my feelings with some amount of restraint. Because yes, the weather is changing around, and yes my meds were adjusted two weeks ago, and yes I've been using substances and seeing my friends and fucking around. Yes I sat in a park today for 3 hours on a whim with two of the three most important people in my life who don't share my blood, and yes, I had a pleasant day! I had a lakeside cigarette and croissant!

I have no money, I have a plan to reduce the cost of being alive that is no longer in my court, and I feel like I'm one misstep away from complete ruin at any given second! So of course when I have a pleasant day, when I feel love and camaraderie and the sunshine beating on my face, of course I'm going to look back on it after the sun goes down and my friends are not around and spin myself up into an anxious knot over the hypomanic-ness of it all. Why wouldn't I shrink within myself in shame at my attraction to those two best friends, want to apologize 17 times to make sure that I didn't secretly cross a boundary with banter that wasn't in any way out of the ordinary. Why shouldn't I want, more than anything in the world, to be able to experience an ordinary afternoon, feeling accepted and loved and understood more often. And so the cycle starts again-- is it really fine? Is it really /real/? Or is your brain lying? What if this is the cheese that lures me into calmness and the path that leads to mania. Promises of an unremarkable day that feels like a stimulant, with the whisper that it could be like this and that maybe it's even like this for other people! My rules are different, of course. No one taught me theirs, and the set I was taught didn't even take right! How should I know? Does it matter? Who even cares? Because deep down, all that doesn't change that today was pleasant! Both can be true, and also, yes and! I don't know why I'm typing this out except that I can't not get my thoughts out somehow. I have to need to somehow be understood about this.

Would they understand? They've seen me at my worst, and my best. Things change. Worst and best are even squishy. They loved my first manic phase. I did too, until. Until until until and then all of the plesantness, all of the fun, the joy, was gone just like when it's cold and empty and nothing matters except I couldn't even sleep, couldn't eat, wanted to scratch myself to shreds and put mirrors everywhere so I could at least confirm that the things I was hearing that were not words didn't come from anything or anyone real. And my best, for me, hasn't always looked the best to them.

I love being queer, I love men and I love the feeling of attraction, the desire, the comfort. But I hate the member of the council judging my every action from within my head who can't shut up about about how I can't ever make anyone uncomfortable, how I am not allowed to be expressive with my desire lest they don't return it and everything falls apart. The friendship, or maybe I'd just get hit again. Maybe I'd be iced out of the entire friend group. Cast out from the flock for perversion. They've said it's fine. They've made the jokes, I've literally blown one of them on and off for two years, in a different era. But he's straight. And I'm not good at the rules anyway. They're unspoken, at least until you've broken one bad enough to be punished with expulsion.

I can't tell if I had a genuinely 'happy, right side of the bed' day, that this is normal and I've been so depressed for long enough that I've forgotten the simple joy of hanging out on a bluff, or if this energy and excitement is a warning sign, or if I'm already fully off the deep end or if this is the only lucid thought I've ever had. The cop in my head wants me to reel it in, something deeper is gnawing at bars, and I don't know which side I'm on, if I'm both, if I'm neither. I don't know I don't know I hate not knowing. If I'm not fluent in my internal language, if I don't know if I can trust my senses and my feelings and my experience to be in line with the shared reality, and I also never learned the rules of how to behave in that shared reality, just copied and copied and tried and tried until I finally got enough of a mask cobbler together to not get completely isolated... What is there?

And why is this tearing me up tonight when it's constantly on my mind! I'm not sure I'd know if I had enough money to relax, I've not had a savings or emergency fund in my adult life. I know that my brain works differently, I know that being queer is isolating, I know that my childhood did not prepare me for the world or encourage any amount of self understanding. I know that I desperately want to be wanted and be confident that I wouldn't be left alone. I dance around and with these things all day! But this is a fucking intersectional gangbang with a side of "if bipolar is degenerative and messes with memory and experience and I'm having problems with memory and experience now at the ripe old age of twenty-something, how the hell am I gonna make it to the part where it gets better?" And for desert there's "you've spent your life dedicating time to sharpening your mind and learning deep math and ways to think about thinking and play with abstraction. You've always been known as a smart person, a math person, someone who has a passion for the thing everyone hated in high school. What happens if you're not as smart as they think you are? As you think you are. What if you were, but you aren't anymore? When will they notice?"

Anyway if you made it to this part, why? What's the drive to do that. Do you see yourself? Do you see an alien perspective? I'm going to bed the instant after I hit post but what the fuck, man? Anyone got an insightful zinger?

It's fair if you don't. That's usually why I'm around.

[mogwaei]

ZJINN LORE ZJINN LORE

1, 10, 12, 29, 46, 51

for the character questions pleeeease 🤲 (feel free to pick obv. if u don't feel like all of them ahah but if you do. PLS) 👀

MY FRIEND THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! ✨

This is very much a WIP since I'm still learning about them, but ZJINN LOREEE ZJINN LORE LETSA GO!

1] What's the lie your character says most often?

Most consistently: how they lost their eye (they wear an eyepatch and get asked about it a lot) and loves to change the story up on everyone.

Bonus: Zjinn is multiclassing bard who has adventure and chaos woven into their fucked up DNA. In their case, embellishment and lying is in their kit 😂

10] What fact do they excitedly tell everyone about at every opportunity?

When feeling ornery, Zjinn takes something one of their companions told them and repeats it...but, like, shreds the fact up and sprinkles it into a Salad of Lies. See the above answer for context lol. Gale is victim of this a lot because they like to argue (affectionate) and he makes it too easy. Wizard vs Sorcerer💜🧙‍♂️ (Also I doodled this for you below) :D

Putting the rest beneath the cut!

12] What's something that makes them laugh every single time? Be specific!

Before the Urge really starts taking a toll on Zjinn, I'd say wrestling (or dancing, if she can get him to) with Wyll - it always ends up silly. "Stupid" drinking games with Karlach...non-serious bickering with Gale (or coming up with absurd twists on incantations to the point one or both of them accidentally take it into battle). When Astarion really gets going on anyone (Zjinn included), she finds a rhythm in his words/voice and turns it into a song, which pisses him off (affectionate) but makes everyone else laugh. Those are the more wholesome things - excluding the dark edgy stuff lol

29] How do they respond when someone doesn’t believe them?

They just keep telling the story, making it even more ludicrous/gross and insert the non-believer into the story as a character where they end up in a compromising/humiliating position until someone (Gale, Wyll, etc) decides to step in or physically removes her😂 She likes to antagonise people.

46] Are they a listener or a talker? If they’re a listener, what makes them talk? If they’re a talker, what makes them listen?

I'd say both! As a bard, Zjinn loves stories and telling them. If it's someone Zjinn respects and has deemed worthy, she tends to listen. Those that fall into category of "utter bellend" she tends to start shit talking them with Astarion until they take notice. :>

51] What’s a phrase they say a lot?

I feel like Zjinn is the type to latch onto something a companion might accidentally say in a funny (unfortunate) way and repeat it in battle or while doing mundane activities, so I don't have anything specific? But I have a HC that Karlach and Wyll would love this and join in on it lol

[limalatina]

Santana imagined this must've been how her mom felt every time her dad came crawling back to her on his hands and knees, pleading for another chance. Giselle was a far better person than that man could ever hope to be, but she had to admit, some of the similarities rang true. Santana wished she could say the last few weeks with her ex hadn't made her jaded, but that would be a lie. Constantly being given the runaround by Giselle had killed any shred of hope she still had of them reconciling things. The simpler option would've been for her to throw in the towel and walk away, as she'd always told her mom to do. She would never be able to justify cheating, but she could understand caring for someone enough that letting them go seemed impossible. Even in the toughest of times, her choice was crystal clear. Santana loved Giselle, and only Giselle. That didn't mean she had to continue going out of her way to fix things with her. A simple "thank you" text for her gift would've sufficed. Santana had given up expecting anything more at this point, especially seeing as they tended to ignore each other whenever they were fighting. Now that her ex was here however, it seemed only right to hear her out.

The last few days had given her a lot to think about, and upon hearing Giselle's answer, Santana simply nodded. She contemplated saying something in response, but instead, chose to push that thought to the back of her mind as she returned to the bed to grab her purse and sunglasses. It wasn't until Giselle spoke again, and actually apologized this time, that she paused to give the other woman her undivided attention. "You don't-" Before Santana could get the words out, she was being cut off. Any other day, the Latina would've been more receptive to this kind of transparency from her ex, but after weeks of putting in effort to not have it be reciprocated, she'd grown weary of the constant back and forth between them. She was grateful Giselle finally felt comfortable letting her guard down around her...to some extent, at least, but she also hadn't disclosed anything Santana didn't already know. There still seemed to be a disconnect between what her ex said and the way she acted. Holding off saying anything until she was finished, Santana let out a deep sigh before voicing her thoughts. "I didn't want to cut you off, but I appreciate you apologizing. I'm sorry too. For everything." A part of her wanted to stop there, only because she knew what she was about to say next would be hard for both of them to hear.

"I believe you when you say you love me, and I'd like to think you want to be with me, but how am I supposed to know that if you never show it? I feel like I'm always reaching out to you and you keep pushing me away. Be honest, if I hadn't bought you that painting would we even be having this conversation?" There was no malice behind what she was asking. Normally, she'd have more ferocity in a moment like this, but she simply didn't have the energy to fight anymore. "We've talked so much about how I've changed, but you've changed too. And that's okay, I'll accept you however you are. I'd be lying though if I said I didn't wonder sometimes if the person I'm waiting for is someone I'll even recognize. You said it before and I didn't want to listen then because I was scared it meant we'd grown too far apart, but you were right. We're not kids anymore, and things between us have shifted." Usually, a conversation like this would have her emotions running wild, but she'd cried so much in the past month that something like this didn't even phase her. "We can't expect to make any sort of relationship work if we don't adjust to each other's needs." Pulling her bag over her shoulder, she moved towards the door, stopping when they were both in the entryway. "I love you so I won't push anymore. If you're serious about having that talk, I'm ready to listen whenever you are. Text me and I'll come running." She tried her best to smile when she said it, but it fell flat. "That dead scorpion thing sounds gross by the way, just...don't drink too much, okay?" And with that, she was off.

@limalatina: continued from here

As much as Giselle would have loved to keep avoiding Santana, Sue's diabolical plan to put them in the most awkward of situations only allowed them to keep this charade up for so long. Maybe they could have dragged it on a little longer if not for the unexpected gift she'd found near her luggage. Subjecting herself to getting so wasted that she wound up sleeping in various places around her assigned hut had prevented her from doing any exploring of her own, so she was somewhat grateful that Santana had found the painting before someone else nabbed it. It was absolutely perfect for her, and if nothing else, her ex deserved to have her thank her in person...sort of. Though, she should have foreseen the response she got from Santana, and she couldn't blame her. Leaning against the door frame, she chewed on the inside of her cheek as she silently watched the other woman maneuver around the small ass space. Giselle had expressed her gratitude so she could (and probably should) have just hightailed it back out of there, yet instead, she found herself eyeing her ex, who looked fucking hot as usual. Whatever Santana was saying went in one ear and right out the other since it was irrelevant at the moment, as were most things whenever she found herself drooling.

Santana turning to face her finally snapped her out of her trance, and Giselle shrugged at her question. "Right..uh, no. That was all." She muttered, pushing herself off of the wall. That was obviously not true at all, and she was far too hungover and cranky to even be considering what she truly needed, but this was the longest they'd been in the same space since arriving to Mexico so she knew she had to take advantage of that. "Actually, I'm sorry." She'd lost count of how many times they'd apologized to each other after every stupid fight, but where was the harm in adding another one to the growing list? "I won't list off everything that I'm sorry for because I know it's a lot, and you're about to leave, but I am sorry for all of it. And we can stop avoiding each other now too, which is fucking stupid." That part was mostly on Giselle too, but she'd drink her guilt away over it afterwards. "I'll probably be drunk as hell again whenever you get back, and I'm not expecting you to agree now, but we can have that talk whenever you're ready. But before you play dumb and pretend not to know what talk I'm referring to just so you can make me say it, I'll save you the trouble. You keep asking me what I want, as if the answer's not fucking obvious, so screw it. I want you. I still hate talking about feelings though, so I'm gonna go drown myself in that tequila is that has a dead scorpion or worm or whatever in it. But you have fun today, and I'll drop a pin when I get to a bar so that if I'm not here when you get back, you can assume I did drown in the ocean and come find my body."

[butterflysmoke]

This house has torn me apart from the inside out. And youd think I'd be strong enough by now to know better than to let them shred what means the most to me. Yet here I am. Writing this to tell you I've given one too many chances. And that's the truth.

It's like one day you wake up and nothing is glazed over or sugar coated anymore. This isn't child's play. You know? All you see is the raw version of shit. And then it hits you. It hits hard how much the things around you have really changed or have become more clear. And you realize that where you're at is unhealthy. It's truly a slap in the face. Like hello girl in the mirror wake the hell up the fight isn't over yet. And that's when it's time to make vast changes and hope for the best. Its either make a jump that scares the shit out of you and better yourself... or sink into a hole you cant dig your self out of simply because your surroundings are only getting worse. But that's life. You can choose your outcome. Stay stuck or better yourself.

Living in this house I've learned so many things. Each thing heart breaking in it's own way. I looked at these people like family just to watch them literally stab me in the back every way they could. From stealing to lying to going behind me trying to take the one person I won't let go of. I've learned that even when I'm broken I can still fight. I still stand strong in what I believe in and I dont back down from the things I love. However I have also learned that I am easily shaken. Easy to tear up. I use to be stronger. But I've come to realize a person can only break so much before there's nothing left to break and the only thing left is what you're fighting for. It's a hard picture to look at when you get to the point that all you see is what they did.

When you were down they kicked you. When you were broken they opened every scar and poured salt in every wound making it impossible for you to heal. When you were scared and couldn't find light they smothered you with stress and things you couldn't possibly handle on your own. But that's what it is to live in a house where people only want what you have and nothing more. They are just there to test you until there's nothing left. Until you've given up.

Living in this house has made me think. Its brought me out of my box and it has tested everything I am. It may have broke me. But it hasn't killed me. And that's what will save me in the end.

You can not heal in the same place that made you sick. So move forward and don't hold back from that jump no matter how big you may think that jump is... anything is better than staying stuck in a place that is only sinking.

I started looking at this house like a nightmare. Like something I've become afraid of. I stay in my room thinking that if I stay here nothing could harm me. But the thing is everything is harmful when stuck in your own mind. How horrible it is to be the one to damage yourself for the fear that someone else might do it before you do. How horrible it is to be afraid of seeing daylight in fear that someone might try to take it from you. But that's life. People take the things that are most beautiful from you because they themselves cant create something with the same kind of beauty. And that's the nightmare in us all. Crippling fear of other people and what they may or may not be capable of doing. How hard it is to stand up for your self and decide otherwise. That you're the boss of your life that no one should keep you locked inside your own damn box. You think you're being safe but the truth is you're just running from what you think might get you if you dont run. It's a fucked up rollar coaster you've put yourself on and the thing about this ride is it doesn't end until you've finished getting sick over and over again. It doesn't end until you get use to every curve and youve learned to open your fucking eyes. This roallr coaster just keeps going faster and faster the rails shake and rattle as you pass through each battling chapter until you've reached your own breaking point. And then it stops and then it breaks down and theres no starting over. And that's when all you can do is look back at the crash and fall of what you've let yourself become all because of other people. Now I'm not saying this to be the ass. I'm saying it because we let everyone lead our lives. So when is it that we stand up for ourselves and stop living for other people? This isnt their happy ending. It's yours to claim. That's the thing about this house. It has crippled me into thinking that it's okay for people to keep me in the dark. But the thing is I have always loved the light. And I shouldn't let people snuff out the things that make me happy. I shouldn't be afraid of other people. Yet here I am sitting in my room writing this in Hope's that someone might get something out of the unfortunate mistakes I have made. Dont be a me in your book. Be a you.

♡ butterfly smoke

[mama-ghostie-61542]

A Thousand Lifetimes

Hellloooo, My Freaky Darlings--This chapter is a little different, for reasons you will understand shortly...Therefore--Rated M++ for language and NAUTINESS.

Once again, my dears...if you recognize it...IT AIN'T MINE.

Sorry for the OOC bits.

(A/N-- Please, don't be mad. It took me weeks to get the courage to post this.)

Chapter 11

Kihyun

After picking up a bit, I started a cup of coffee. Then, I went to grab the chapter and change into some sweats. About the time I made it back to the kitchen, coffee was waiting for me. I picked it up and sipped at it as I walked to the couch and settled on the far end. I didn't even think about what the red heart in the corner of the cover meant. Turns out.....It means naughtiness.

Kihyun

That year was tough, looking back. But, then, we were busier this year. Some how, we still managed to meet up in Hawaii as planned.

That week was crazy! We went to a few museums. We also spent time on the black sand beach in front of the hotel. That handmade bikini she wore, tore me up.

The next night, we had reservations at a tiny place. Dinner was nice, but I could not stop thinking about unwrapping that dress she had on.

We made it back to the room. It was nice, but the best thing in that room was her. The way that she smelled had been teasing me all night; the way her cedar and sage products mixed with her natural smell. I would be lying if I said I hadn't anticipated this moment for quite some time. I ditched my tie on the couch as we came into the room. Then, I toed off my shoes and socks right there.

I sat on the bed as she unwrapped the cream silk dress she had worn today, revealing black lace over creamy, caramelly skin. She immediately went to hang up the cream and midnight blue gown, inadvertently showing just what her under things looked like from EVERY angle.

"Are you trying to seduce me," I asked.

"That depends," She giggled as she placed her hands on her hips and then swayed, "Is it working?"

Looking at her, I let myself start at her tiny feet, in those strappy, lacy, blue sandals, and drank her in. Up over those seemingly delicate but deceptively strong ankles. Up those long legs, to that tiny bit of delicate black lace hugging her hips and ass. And up a little farther, past the scars to the same black lace, lovingly caressing her soft skin over her small but perky girls.

'Aww, crap,' I thought as I gathered up the chapter and my coffee and hurried towards my room. 'I should have just stayed in my room.'

"Yes," I whispered, softly, then bit my lip hard, trying to control myself. "Come here," I ordered as I allowed her to see the hunger in my eyes.

She strode, slowly, across the room to stand in front of me, her own desire burning in those blue green depths. I watched as they darkened with every step to the color of rough seas before a storm.

I caressed around her thighs to her butt, before grabbing a cheek in either hand and squeezing for a moment; then continuing on to wrap my arms around her hips. Resting my chin on her stomach, I said, "Would you let me peel you out of these with my teeth? Or shred them while getting them off," I said as I snapped the back of her underwear.

Her only answer was a shiver.

"Ahh, you like that idea, eh?"

"I would rather," she started, then cleared her throat, "You let me take them off. They were pretty expensive."

I laughed. 'Yep. That's her. She will drop $1500 cash on a new stove, but won't spend five bucks on her underwear.'

I looked at her and smirked, "Expensive to you, or me? I will buy you 5 pairs, if you let me destroy this one," I said as I ghosted my bottom lip over her soft skin. She smelled like heaven and I just wanted to taste every inch of her.

"10," She countered.

'Hmm. Fifty bucks on lacy undies I am just going to tear up anyway? I'm game.'

I chuckled, "You drive a hard bargain, Woman, but, I suppose. Now," I growled as I refocused her attention by raking my nails down her back, gently, then caressing the way back up. "Hands or teeth?"

Again she shivered, but this time it was accompanied by a breathy moan as her eyes rolled closed for a moment.

"I am gonna leave that decision in your capable hands."

"Not smart giving me complete control, my sweet Queen. You may have a hard time walking tomorrow. If I have my way, we won't leave this room all week. Now," I said as I grasped her hips, and squeezed slightly as I gently pushed her back so I could stand up. "Tell me what you want," I commanded as I caressed her arm from wrist to shoulder, as I walked behind her. I then, dragged my finger tips over her shoulder, only to replace them with my knuckles and trace her strap.

She is writing me with a whole lot more patience than I actually have.

Another shiver.

My control momentarily snapped as my shirt came off and went flying. I stepped up behind her, until her back was against my chest and caressed over her hips and thighs again before burying my face in the back of her neck, earning me yet another shiver and a soft moan.

"My love, look at how responsive you are to my touch, My Queen. I'm willing to bet you dinner I can make you cum without doing much else."

'Yeah, would not be making that bet. I'd lose,' I laughed.

Bryn chuckled lowly, "If that's the case, Baby, I already owe you one...or twelve."

I giggled, 'Only twelve? Sweetheart, you are only counting for a week.'

"Oh, no, Darling. There is a big difference between projection and flesh. Only certain things make it past the astral translators, and those lose something. Astral is bound by projection and how good you are at taking care of yourself. Skin is so much better. Would you like for me to show you," I whispered on that spot where her neck and shoulder meet.

I didn't get an answer, just another shivering moan.

'God, I love it when she does that.'

"Hmmm. Take that as a yes," I said as I reached around to cup her breasts and squeeze them slightly. Then, I found the little plastic clasp to her bra, nestled between them...and broke it. Next, I gently slid it off of her and as it cleared her hands, threw it across the room. I think it landed over by my shirt, but I could care less.

Then, I caressed over her arms and back, only to return to her firm breasts. I cupped them and before I could blink, her hands were over mine, showing me just how much pressure to use.

"Is that what you like, Baby. For me to be a little rough with them? Show me what you want, my love. How you want to be touched. Show me how to touch you," I whispered on her shoulder, as I squeezed her breasts again and this time pinched the nipples hard.

I was suddenly very glad I was in my room. I sat aside the story for a minute to go grab a towel and lock my doors. Damned woman.

She arched her back and gasped, before turning towards me. Facing me, she languidly caressed up my chest and over my shoulders with her fingertips ghosting over my flesh. Her fingernails raked gently across the tender flesh on my neck and tipped my head down to hers.

This time, it was me who shivered.

'Oh, shit. She knows what she is writing,' I thought as I adjusted myself.

I tried to look away to control myself.

With her lips a hairs breadth from mine, she whispered, "Hawkie." Then, she gently kissed me and licked my bottom lip, "Focus on me, Baby." Again, she kissed me, tenderly.

'And there it goes. No control with this one,' I thought. 'She knows too much.'

I had fuckin goosebumps from that. I will admit that I started to kiss her back with the same ardor she was using. I caressed my fingertips down her spine and when I reached her ass, palmed those perfect globes and proceeded to knead them slightly. As I did that, pulling her as close to me as possible, I could feel her boobs rubbing against my chest.

She gasped and let out a breathy moan.

I cupped her head in my left hand as I worked my way down to that spot on her neck where I could feel her pulse under my lips and whispered, "Tell me, my sweet queen, what you want." My right hand had been resting on the small of her back, holding her against me, steadying her.

"You," she whispered as her hands roamed over my back and chest. I knew, somehow, her control was fading.

That one word ripped away what was left of my control. My hand left her back to remove my belt and let my pants fall to the floor. With the flick of my foot, they were off.

When I put my hand back on her hip, I found she had removed her panties.

"That was my job," I growled.

'Getting a woman all worked up and naked is a man's job.'

"They're still around my thighs," she answered.

"Hmmm. Good," I growled as she shivered against me and moaned. I walked her back to the bed, and picked her up, laying her down. Then I stepped back to grab her ankles and pull her to the edge of the bed, before sinking to my knees. I grabbed her left ankle, and after removing those heels, placed it on my shoulder as I said, "Baby. Look at me,"

Her eyes, dark with passion, rolled open and looked at me. Her breath was getting ragged.

I had to pause. Cold shower. I made the mistake of picking the story back up when I got out.

"Do you know how sexy you are," I asked as I placed open mouthed kisses on her calf, moving slowly towards her knee, as I caressed her other leg. Then, I switched legs and continued to nip and kiss until I reached that tiny scrap of lace. I grabbed it in both hands and tore it apart.

"Cheap silicone elastic," I chuckled as I tossed the remains of the offending garment over my shoulder.

My hands took on a bit of their own life as I sat back on my heels for a moment, looking at her, drinking in her beautiful figure. Even her stretch marks, long since turned to scars, could not detract from how attractive she was, or how much I wanted her.

As I caressed her torso, her hands were suddenly on mine.

"Show me. Show me what you want," I whispered.

She answered me, by arching and moaning again.

I could listen to her moaning all day long. It's like the soundtrack to the best porn.

Back to the shower. Holy fuck.

Bryn removed her hands from mine and, as her legs fell down to my sides, she sat up sliding forward into me. With her cheek against mine, she nipped at my ear and started placing open mouthed kisses on my neck and shoulder. There was a sudden breeze on my ass before I noticed that her hands were there, gently scratching over my hips, not enough to sting, but enough to send shivers down my spine and give me the biggest goosebumps I have ever had.

Then, her hand gently slid down my length.

"No, Dear," I said as I caught her hand and pulled it away. "You start that, it'll be over too soon. I meant it when I said I plan on keeping you up all night.

She shivered again as I ran my hands down her arms to her hands and wrapped them around behind her. As they met behind her, I transferred both wrists to my left hand and caressed over her back and shoulder before moving to her arm, then her hip, and on to her thigh, only to caress up over her stomach and pinch her nipple.

'Yep...I'm done,' I thought as I stepped into the shower for a third time. 'That woman is going to kill me.'

"Face it, Girlie. I'm planning on doing things no man has ever had the balls to do. I'm gonna light you up, and get you to beg for more." I said as I wrapped my free arm around her and dragged her further up into the bed. Then, I pushed her back. "Now be a good girl and lay back. Lemme do my job, Woman."

"You're a tease," she whined.

"No, Ma'am." I answered, as I pushed her into the bed. "If you are a good girl, I'll give you exactly what you want. Now, hands to yourself," I said as I pinned her hands to the bed by her wrists. "Keep them there."

Leaning down, I nipped her ear and trailed my lips down to her neck. Working my way down, I stopped to gently chew on her collarbone, before licking it.

She, somehow, worked her legs out from under me and wrapped those long legs around me before moving her hips and whining, "Baby."

"No ma'am," I chuckled as I grabbed her hips to still them before trailing my fingertips up to her boobs. She sighed as I wrapped my hands around her titties and paid attention to one rosy peak, teasing it to a tight bud. Then, switching to the other globe to lavish attention on it.

That was it. Back to the shower for a fourth time. Good God, that woman can write smut. Almost as that thought coalesced, there was a pounding on the door to the bathroom.

"You ok, Dude," Honey yelled on the other side.

"No, Well yeah, but... not really," I trailed off.

"What's the issue?"

"Smut. Smutty Chapter," I yelled as I leaned against my shower wall and tried to get control of myself...again.

He laughed. "Is it good?"

"Hell yes."

"Oh. OH! Hang on a minute. I will run every one out for about an hour. Cool?"

"Thank you," I choked out.

After a few minutes, I heard my phone chirp. It was a message from Joey~ "All out. You have one (1) hour. Have fun."

In all it took me less than a second to flip the water over to hot and get to work. As I held on to the shower rod with one hand, I could almost smell her in the shower with me. But what really got to me was the feeling of her breath, panting on my cheek, encouraging me, spurring me on.

'C'mon, Haka,' she begged as she sent an image down our thread of her spread out over her bed and playing. 'Please cum for me, Baby.'

That did it. The world exploded as I did. When I came down, I noticed that the colors were brighter, much more vivid than normal.

'Woman,' I shouted down our thread. 'That chapter was HELL.'

'Like it did ya?'

'I loved it. Thank you, by the way, for the talk and the visual. That was hot. I didn't know YOU, much less anyone else, could write about fuckin like that. Wow.'

'I take it you approve?'

'Yes! But, I'm gonna have to up my game to compete with that. Holy crap.'

'Where do you think the inspiration came from? All those nights you'd spend teasing the shit outta me.'

I giggled, 'Oh hey. I do that a lot, don't I.'

'Ya do. Multiple times a week.'

'So, the guys are definitely not reading that chapter. Joey thought I was sick. I ended up in the shower four times. When I told him it was the chapter, he ran every one out of the dorms so I could take care of my raging hormones. That is the kind of chapter you need a towel for. I'm in for it when we get together, aren't I?'

'Oh yeah,' she answered.

"Looking forward to that,' I chuckled.

Half an hour later, every one else had returned and I had washed up, cleaned up, and was back in my sweats. I was still riding the afterglow when Joohoney pounded on my bedroom door.

"All good," he asked as he opened the door slightly.

"Yes, thanks."

"Awesome. Hopefully you weren't talking to my sister during."

I giggled, "Well. I wasn't the one talking."

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A/N--As I am finishing this chapter up, I distinctly hear Haka's voice--"Whelp. That one's goin' under my bed."--rather matter-of-factly.

I fucking lost it laughing. Sometimes, he is like a teenager with nudie pics. God forbid ANYONE realize he is full grown MAN with needs of his own.