#i'm not bitter at all

[lazylittledragon]

today i'm one year closer to reaching my final form of an Old Queer and i'm thrilled

[ahsoka-in-a-hood]

why is romantic love the most selfish love there is

[skyfallscotland]

raise your hand if you live in the fucking middle so you don't get to see any of the pretty lights ✋

[toodrunktofindaurl]

"Death's child"

twitter | bluesky | insta | 🔞 patre*n

[gingerswagfreckles]

It's insanely sad to read post after post of gentiles talking about how at least we all have each other and all we can do now is draw strength from our queer and leftist communities bc Jews literally cannot do this. Like you all completely and so utterly turned your backs on Jews this year and we have no one. Except other Jews. Who make up 2% of the American population. It's so great for you all that you can hold hands and sing Kumbaya but you made supporting Hamas and retweeting twitter funny men with literal terrorist hate symbols in their usernames normal. So no some of us cannot draw strength from the queer and leftist communities. Some of us just have to sit here and take it as you all reassure each other that none of this is your fault even though it so obviously is.

[youchangedmedestiel]

Imo the best ending to Supernatural would have been to just stop with them alive on a random hunt or them finding jobs and living the life they just wanted or whatever.

And then the story just fucking STOP, because Chuck is not here anymore, so they are no longer part of a story they are finally free. And we could still write and read fanfic about how they live after they won.

[royalarchivist]

Bad: I don’t think people understand the effect QSMP had on some of the streamers in terms of like… The real raw mental impact, so I’m gonna set the stage for you. [...] Imagine that you were given a friend to play Minecraft with — like your best friend — BUT if this person dies, if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Can you imagine what that’s like?

Bad: If you did not live through the QSMP, if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I don’t think people realize how much of a joyous experience the Eggs were. They were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with.

Bad: I’m not saying I regret it. To this day, I loved the experience. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again. [...] I would still do it all over again, because — even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering and stuff like that — because it was just… It was just that fun, it was just that fun.

Earlier today during his stream, Bad shared his experience and thoughts about the Eggs and the significant emotional (and traumatic) impact they had on him and his fellow QSMP members.

This clip a very edited-down version since his commentary was ~13 minutes long, so I highly recommend checking out Bad's VOD if you have the time. (Timestamp: 47:36 - 1:00:14)

[ Full Transcript ↓ ]

———

Bad: To be fair Chat, I really think the QSMP... I don't think anyone really can relate to it, Chat. It's something that's so... I've told people this before, like– but it's hard to understand. Right? Like...

Where was I? Sorry Chat, I'm losing my train of thought. Look, let me explain Chat– here's the dealio, ok? Here's the dealio, and this is what I mean when I say like, it's important to keep this in mind, Chat. Ok? It's important to keep this in mind:

I don’t think people understand the effect that the QSMP had on like, some of the streamers, in terms of like… The real raw mental impact, so I’m gonna set the stage for you. This is the analogy I’ve given to every person who I’ve like, shared this with. Imagine you meet somebody– [He hears a strange noise] What the fudge was that? Did you hear that?

Anyway– Chip! The story I was just relaying to Chat, Chip, was this: I was sharing this story with them, I said–  I was giving them an analogy. 

Imagine Chat, for example, imagine that you were… playing Minecraft, with like– you were given a friend to play Minecraft with, Chat, like your best friend, and [unintelligible] were like, “Hey, you get to play Minecraft with this person, right? BUT if this person dies – they’re currently your best friend, Chip – but if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Ever again.” Can you imagine what that’s like, Chip?

I don’t think a lot of people understand like, what that does, right? I’m not gonna say that like, it creates this situation, Chip, that like, messes with your head, but it– Chip – but it totally, totally does, Chip. It messes with your head! It literally puts you in a position where you’re second-guessing and thinking about everything, Chip! You’re thinking about EVERYTHING Chip! Ok? And that’s the problem, Chip– is you turn into a paranoid monster because of it, Chip! Like, you don’t understand Chip– I was- I was so afraid of every dirt block, I used to carry a shovel with me Chip, and I would specifically right-click dirt blocks that looked suspicious because mines, Chip– mines could not be shoveled! Like, I was crazy, Chip! But here’s the problem, Chip: that craziness is still there. I’m genuinely like–

I remember thinking Chip, that I would one day– I was like, “I’m going to move past–” here, let’s go up here, Chip. I remember thinking one day Chip, I was like, “I’m gonna move past the underground base, one of these days. You know, one of these days, I feel like I’ll be able to grow and achieve the desire to build a base that doesn’t have to be underground.” But I don’t think it’s possible now Chip, because I think… I just don’t know. I feel like the paranoia– there’s still like, residual leftover trauma from that situation, Chip.

But here’s the problem Chip: I don’t think I don’t think– I don’t think people understand it. Like, I just really don’t. But I also don’t blame them Chip, ‘cuz I don’t think it’s possible to fully understand it if you haven’t lived through it. Like, if you did not live through the QSMP… I’m talking about the QSMP, I don’t- I don’t know if that was obvious– if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I don’t think people realize how much of a joyous experience like, the Eggs were. Right? I don’t think people realize it. Like, they were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with, Chip. So, it’s just one of those things that–

[He’s interrupted by a loud rumble of thunder above them]

Did lightning just strike here? Is it thunderstorming out…? But anyway, Chip. That’s the food for thought.

But that’s the problem– Like, every time it rains in Minecraft, I have to like, look at the sky, and I get this weird, like, second--hand vibe because of the trauma. The trauma, Chip! The trauma is real! But that’s the point– I’m not saying I regret it. I, to this day Chip, I loved the experience. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again. 

[He falls down] Dangit, don’t come over here Chip, ‘cuz I’m coming back up! Ok.

I would still do it all over again, because — even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering  and stuff like that — because it was just… It was just that fun, Chip, it was just that fun. I really wi– I don’t think it’s ever gonna be possible, Chip, to give people that same energy, like that same experience. You know what I mean, Chip? I don’t think it’s ever gonna be possible again. Like, EVER.

Because… because like, one: I will say on one level Chip, I will say on one level, like– it’s sort of emotionally like… It’s emotionally devastating, and I think to actually go through that– and this is where like, if I ever do end up going to a– see a therapist, if I ever do end up going to see a therapist at any point, I’ll talk it over with them and be like, “Hey, what do you think about this?” Because I genuinely think on one level, like– it’s created this fear of forming attachments because of like, how things can go. You know what I mean? Like, the fear of getting attached to something and then potentially losing it. Like, it’s- it’s a genuine thing. I think people forget about that.

Like, at the end of the day, everything was RP, right? On the server. You know what I mean? Like, everything was RP, Chip. BUT at the same point, even though it was RP Chip, it was still like– there the reality of you were still playing like, with another person, and you were still getting that experience, and it felt like you were genuinely attached to someone and you didn’t want anything bad to happen to them. It was GENUINELY stressful, Chip.

But at the same point, I don’t regret it, and I don’t think it was a bad experience. I’m– 

Sometimes in life Chip, you go through stuff, and maybe you have a certain amount of like, things that like, can happen, that you’re like, “You know what, maybe this wasn’t a good thing that this happened,” but at the same point, you still aren’t necessarily upset about it, because… it’s like growing as a person, right? Here’s the thing Chip; even bad situations, Chip, can lead to an overall good outcome. Like–

Even if you’re going through something bad Chip, just because a bad thing happens doesn’t mean that only bad things have to come from that. That’s one of the things I tell people all the time, Chip, is that if you go through a bad situation, you can learn from it, and you can use your experience to help others. And you can be that– you can be, at the worst-case scenario, you can be someone for other people who are going through that same experience to lean on when they go through that.I think there’s a certain amount of comfort that comes from that; from knowing no matter how bad your situation is, you’re not the only person who’s experienced it. You know what I mean?

[bebsi-cola]

bebsi's no good, high sodium, ultra-processed, mass produced ask game

for the disabled people filled with hate and malice. still try to send an ask to people you reblog from or who reblogs from you so we all get to complain, ameen

Tell me about an ableist experience you had that threw you off.

Worst thing someone has said to you with regards to disability.

Do you have any examples of places that tried to be accessible but failed spectacularly?

Is there an example of disability in media that you really don't like?

What's the silliest thing a medical professional has said to you?

Is there something regarding disability that people told you that you were wrong about but you was right actually?

Is there a real disability advocate you strongly dislike? And why.

Is there any medically advised treatment that you took which made things worse?

What's a treatment you are tired of people suggesting to you? And why.

When you are filled with hate and spite what helps you cope?

Do you have a "harmful" coping mechanism that helps?

Complain about your most despised symptom to me.

Have you ever been in a medical study?

If there was an activity you could do without repercussions (I don't mean murder) what would it be?

What's something your disability has stopped you from learning or doing?

What disability space have you found most welcoming to you?

What disability space have you found most hostile to be in?

Is there something you wish other disabled people would understand about you?

Is there any struggles you had as a child that were due to disability but did not get treated as part of your disability?

Is there something that's actually helpful for you but you resent it anyway?

[srslylini]

Arcanes centrist take showing itself NOW out of all times is incredibly dangerous, I don't know how that's not clear to all of us.

In germany, it's currently hell on earth; People post blue hearts everywhere (no they are not democrats they are literal right extremists). The "Brandmauer" is fallen and CDU worked together with AFD (right winged extremists) to get closer towards their goals. People openly write that either they vote for AFD/CDU/etc. or that they won't vote at all. A lot of them say they want to be neutral.

THERE IS NO WAY FOR YOU TO BE NEUTRAL NOW. That's the fucking danger of shows like Arcane being god damn fucking centrist. It influences people.

You know what it does influence? Minds. And you know what minds influence? Reality. What Arcane did was a political statement, like it or not. And it just was not a good political statement, scream at me about it.

[sincerely-sofie]

I got bit by a radioactive spider that likes coming up with AUs for Pokémon games. Anyhoo. Take this extremely messy sketch of a comic I made mega fast for my “Legends Arceus + Platinum/Diamond/Pearl + Time Travel + Modern + Slice of Life + Trauma Recovery + Angst with a Happy Ending + Found Family” AU I’m currently cooking.

Volo's trying to camp in the mountains after getting booted through time and space into modern day Sinnoh and promptly gets Barry-ed.

[borgialucrezia]

“I will write love letters to you that will still be read a century after we are gone.” — Pietro Bembo to Lucrezia Borgia, July 1504

A lock of Lucrezia Borgia's hair displayed in a glass case at the Pinacoteca Ambrosiana in Milan. It was discovered around 1680, was preserved along with love letters between Lucrezia and Pietro Bembo.

[antennatoheaven]

i don't care that there's a murderbot tv show in the works. it should have been animated instead

[belowtheworldin80days]

feeling weird about americans flooding xiao hong shu because a lot of the viral posts that i've seen online have an undertone of asian fetishism to them mixed with treating chinese people like zoo animals doing a trick

[scarapanna]

I liked your art, you won🎉🎉🎉

WE WON NO REDEMPTION WAHOOOOO/silly

I'm still terrified of the redemption route for this clown though hdhghfg, I want his silly self to stay evil and wimsy and goofy and with redemption uhhh

We're like

I dunno I'm sooo scared devsis is gonna take away that aspect which is what makes him just so funnn. Please pretty please let him be god awful and rotten and rude and goofy if you take that route Devisis I want him to keep his funny wimsy qualities. Please please pleaseeee write him well y'all are doing sooo good with him don't fumble by taking the redemption route (And if they do it better be good and he better stay chaotic and goofy and sassy and condescending and all his "rotten rabid thing" qualities)

If they do him (And his fun aspects justice in this dreaded hypotetical) then I may be cool with it. Though the mean ass possum has grown on me so much I'd 100% miss that evil and unhinged part of him TONS, devsis have mercy pretty please/silly

[Longer more insane ramblings are in the tags hsfhfhhv]

[claitea]

"Seeking to ease the burden of solitude, lonely Trainers tell Zoroark to show illusions to them."

[salvadorbonaparte]

I'm really glad that (despite some hiccups) a lot of places in the world are becoming safer and more accepting of queer people. I want to see a world where everyone can be who they are and who they want to be. However. in media. there's nothing quite like forbidden gay love stories. We need to continue producing them. Nothing compares to a character yearning so deeply and secretly for something they know they can't have to the point of self destruction. To the point of pulling away from the person they're pining for. Unrequited crushes or even just seemingly unrequited crushes. Nothing can pull that off like a sad gay love story.