#i'm like. fucked up over this album dude. this album is everything i needed to hear and more

[countrymusichijabi]

genuinely cannot stop thinking about how fucking metal it is that, in a world obsessed with telling people "it'll get better" as a platitude, with no intention of actually putting in the work necessary to make things better, fall out boy came in here and dropped an album with a message that amounts to "it may never get better, but it doesn't have to get better for it to be worth it." an album that says "sometimes pain is part of life, and you don't have to get rid of the pain to love the things you love." an album that says "the bad moments will not make the good moments mean less." an album that says "you will ache for the times that you were numb and felt nothing, and you will wonder if it would be better to be numb again than to feel pain, but i promise you, the living makes the pain bearable."

[theloveinc]

any hobie and/or miguel icks? 😟

whoever sent this: thank you + i ADORE you. i hope you don't mind i'm switching up the formatting/style a it in comparison to my older icks... shorter list, more detailed <3

(warning: some fem terms used at the end, such as “mama!”)

-

Miguel O'Hara

- This guy... has some long ass toenails. Type of toenails that poke you at night in bed, and tear holes in his socks.

It's maybe somewhat related to the claw thing he's got going on? Has a lot stronger and faster-growing nails than the average person... but the real problem here is that he's TERRIBLE about clipping them. Claims it doesn't bother him even remotely and that you're the one overreacting when you ask him to... but hardly anything gets through to him about it. You probably even offer to do it for him one day, thinking the offer of a foot massage would sway his thinking and that it'd actually work... but he fought you on that just as easy...!!!

...which is how you came to the conclusion that you have a man who'll even argue w/ you over toenails. Petty boy.

- Miguel is also tired 24/7. AND yeah, it's pretty hard to be un-sympathetic towards that, but he's tired in the... I'm-gonna-prioritize-this-one-last-email-over-saying-goodnight-to-you way. Which gets real irritating when you're asking him to help you out w/ anything, like cleaning up or answering a question or JUST HAVING A DAMN CONVERSATION W/ YOU and he's using "I'm tired" as an excuse when his response is shitty or distracted.

Like one of those stupid guys whose always squinting at their damn iPad when you ask what he wants for dinner... which is ironic given that he'll get snippy at you for not giving him your full, entire attention whenever he wants it. Type of man to start picking imaginary lint off your head when you're simply trying to finish up a text before engaging him so that you aren't distracted.

- Odd about Lyla. Not that he loves her or anything, but she'll like pop up to give him updates about whatever even if you're MID-MAKEOUT session and he won't change that setting. Pulling away from your lips all pouty and squinty only to glare at his watch for thirty seconds before trying to go right back into kissing you.

No. No sir.

(Lyla will also always say something to or-but-usually-and about you, which... Okay, she's an AI and doesn't Get It... but it's still weird because it feels like someone you don't know just walked into the room.)

- Picks his nose when he's too busy to find a tissue, and forgets to sanitize his hands after. Denies this when you tell him.. but you've witnessed this multiple times (he's weirdly kind of whiney for a dude and lazy for a workaholic LOL).

Hobie Brown

- Lovely boyfriend because he doesn't give a crap about your appearance or the idea of needing to "look nice" for a man... but also stupid, nuisance boyfriend because this means he doesn't give one hoot if you try to get all gussied up for him. Nags you about wasting time getting ready because he doesn't need you to do all that instead of just saying "THANK YOU, YOU LOOK NICE." Even probably complains about you feeding into gender stereotypes or w/e when you do something like shave your legs or pluck your eyebrows😭

You try to talk to him about this, ask if he even cares that you tried to look nice, and he skirts around admitting it because he has an argument for everything. "'oughta know I think you're pretty either way"-ass when you just spent an hour trying to look all good for him.

- Tries to share the most obscure music with you... which is like, sweet in concept, but weird when it actually happens since it's never like a generic love song but an eleven minute underground jam session.

Which isn't to say he has bad taste in music, usually it's fine if not fantastic... but you try to tell him you don't want to listen to some dude's first draft of himself banging on a drum set for a full album and he's like: "tsk."

HOBIE. TSK??? FUCKING TSK????????? WHAT ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE LIKE????????

(He'll also use his to get out of listening to your music. Claiming his "inconsistency" is why he liked your playlist yesterday but not today. Stop!!!)

- And you know I gotta say it, he's a punk, after all: absolutely refuses to clean his favorite leather jacket, and it smells RANK. He's genuinely sentimental about it, though... and if you even try to bring up cleaning it somehow (even if very gently), he's acting like you betrayed him. Goes through the five stages of grief over you asking him not to wear it on one of your dates, and teases you by TALKING to it:

"Mumma didn't mean that, jackie. She just doesn't understand our lifestyle, does she?" while giving you a (lighthearted) stink eye.

[hctsummernights]

star shopping

summary: making music has been chris' passion for years, but is that passion enough to keep you to stay? (based off star shopping by lil peep) pairing: rapper!chris x feminine!reader warnings: angst, talks of depression, weed use, arguing a note from lilah 𐙚: hey so i'm sorry for this. (lowercase intended!)

chris sighed, throwing a green celtics cap over his hair and sliding on his sneakers. he knew you were going to have something to say about this, but right now, he couldn’t risk the loss of this new beat. he’d been hitting a wall with making his beats fit his lyrics for weeks now, hence why he was getting ready to go meet with his producer at 11:30 pm, spurred on by the “dude, i swear to god i just hit the fucking jackpot” text.

you raised your brows as you stepped out of the bathroom, towel on your head and plush robe wrapped around your body. “where are you going?” you asked, watching as chris grabbed his wallet and keys. 

“they need me in the studio,” he mumbled. “i’ll be back in the morning.”

“whatever.” you hummed coolly, brushing past your boyfriend (if you could even call him that) to get to your vanity. 

“c’mon baby, don’t be mad. this is the one.” chris insisted, trying to smooth things over. 

“i’m not mad,” you said flatly, smoothing your moisturizer over your skin. “just go. i’ll probably be gone for work when you get back, so i’ll see you tomorrow evening.”

“baby,” chris practically begged, standing near your vanity, but not in your space so he didn’t upset you. “i know i fuck up. i know that i haven’t been a good boyfriend lately. i know you probably don’t want to end up with me, but i love you. you are so much more than gorgeous to me. i want to be with you for the rest of my life. please don’t doubt how much i love you.”

“chris, not tonight. just go.”

“i know i’m not worth your time right now; trust me, i know that. but i also know that i can work on it if you give me time. i can make this album and then we’ll be set, baby, i swear. just let me work on it.”

“you’ve been saying that.” you pointed out, trying to swallow the lump in your throat at the brunette’s words. 

“you’re losing your patience, and i don’t blame you.”

“chris!” you sighed, unintentionally slamming your eye cream down on the vanity. “i’ve been waiting for you to work on it for over two years. two whole rotations around the sun. i believe in you and i believe in your art, but i feel like i’m waiting for something that won’t come. it’s not paying our bills!

chris bit his lip, knowing you had a point. art couldn’t be rushed, but he had been in the process of writing this album for over two years, all while you single handedly paid the bills. the only time that the two of you truly had a connection was when you had sex. you’d look into chris’ deep blue eyes, allowing your hormones to take over and make you feel like maybe everything was okay, despite the fact that you two only had about one true conversation per week. 

“i know.” he mumbled quietly. 

“maybe,” your voice trembled as you began to argue. “maybe my friends are right. maybe i should break up with you. i can’t keep doing this, chris. i’ve worked my ass off to make sure we’re taken care of, and the way you pay me back is by leaving at almost midnight? seriously?”

“ma, you know i’m gonna make it happen one day,” chris pleaded. “as soon as this album comes out, i’m taking you overseas. we’ll go wherever you want, baby. we can smoke and stay in luxury hotels and-” chris was cut off when you interrupted him. 

“that’s what you want, chris. not me. i don’t give a fuck about weed or being overseas. all i want is for this, for us, to be a partnership.” you said, tears rolling down your cheeks. 

for some reason, despite what your instincts were telling you, you didn’t protest when chris pulled you into a hug, burying his nose in your freshly washed hair. “i’m sorry, baby. i know i’m nothing like what you or your family or anyone else wants me to be. but at the end of the day, i would give up my life for you. you’ve given up yours for me. you’ve taken care of me during my bad days, you’ve supported me through everything. i understand if you don’t want to anymore.”

“chris…” you croaked out, voice thick with tears. “i love you, i do love you. i just…miss you. i feel like you’re never home. i miss us.”

the brunette felt like he’d just received a blow to the gut. how could he have been so caught up in some dumb album that he had ignored the most important thing in his life? “i know, baby. i am so, so sorry. i…” chris pulled out his phone, fingers flying over the screen, before he shoved the device back into his pocket. “i’m yours for the rest of the night. shoutout to everyone making my beats, but you’re more important. music’s what helped me when i fell to pieces, so now it’s my turn to do that for you.”

you simply nodded into his chest, not quite forgiving him, but not having the chance to argue anymore either. you didn’t even protest under chris grabbed your hips, lifting you off the vanity stool and carrying you to the door that led from your master bedroom to the balcony of your chicago apartment. like any large city, lights were still aglow on the tall skyscrapers and traffic honked below you, but by some miracle, you could faintly see the stars in the velvety blue nighttime sky.  

“all of those stars have a reason they’re here,” chris mumbled. “i hope i find that reason for me…for us.”

you hummed quietly against in his chest in your robe. things weren’t okay right now, they probably wouldn’t be for a long time, but you were too exhausted to argue. you knew chris loved you, you knew you loved him, but you also knew that you couldn’t spend the rest of your life waiting around for what he might do. 

a/n: yeoWCH....thank you for reading bbys!

[not-goldy]

Hey Goldy!

We know Jimin is an amazing person. I very much appreciate his high emotional intelligence. It's sad to see some fans belittling Jungkook and saying that he's not enough for Jimin. Especially when he decided to release Golden instead of spending time to be hands-on w/ his solo album.

What do you think of those people saying that Jungkook should do more for Jimin, bec it looks like Jimin is the only one who's open to show how much he cares for Jungkook? I mean, I don't know if those people even took the time to appreciate the support Jungkook gave Jimin during Face, still, it seems like it's not enough. How do you see Jungkook's way of loving and appreciating Jimin?

Thank you!

Thanks so much for the respect you have for Jungkook I feel sooo at ease with you. Just thank you.

I think it starts with appreciation no one will get anywhere with me if the conversation is about belittling all the good work Jungkook does towards especially Jimin. The question is not that he's not doing enough- its should he or could he and does he need to do more for Jimin???

On that my answer is, they could all do more for eachother there's always room for improvement and sometimes they have to choose eachother fuck every one and everything else.

They all have their strengths. Between the two I think Jungkook risks his career more often for them than Jimin does while Jimin is the one more prone to consistent show of affections between the two.

Jungkook doesn't show out often but when he does show up he shows out- the earth quakes the sky bleeds our butts shiver and Hybe passes out from the stress of it.

Jimin is naturally kind warm and affectionate and he does care for Jungkook in a way that says it's obvious Jungkook means more to him than anyone else- even V whom he calls his soulmate.

I love when at the round table the members were asked to guess who Jimin wrote his letter to and everyone said Jungkook- I think Jin is the one who says Jimin is very predictable in that way.

It's nice to see him cater to Jungkook consistently. If it's an act he never breaks character and he takes that role seriously and he is not afraid to make big gestures too for Jungkook and I see why people love that about him. In fact I love that about him a lot.

But I love Jungkook too. I love how he's quietly losing his mind most times, quietly loving him impatiently- it's like a boiling water in a pot. Just because you only see it when the lid is sliding off don't mean the water wasn't boiling all along.

It takes real maturity to understand Jungkook. It takes depth and nuance to appreciate the kind of person he is. He is impatient with his love and over the years nothings tested his patience more than loving Jimin the way Jimin wants to be loved.

I think Jimin knows what Jungkook is capable off. I know what Jungkook is capable of. He is not a coward. He's a storm constantly being tamed and restrained.

Jimin self regulates he's the epitome of control- well not when he was young though dude was all over the place messy but the man he's grown into has worked on mastering his self control.

I don't think it's fair to compare them this way. They are two unique individuals what Jimin does for Jungkook should matter only to Jungkook and no one can appreciate Jungkook better or worse than Jimin himself.

It's a relationship. If they are not happy with each other's efforts in the relationship they are free to exit the relationship or stay and work it out🙂

But I'm not gonna lie, I love Jungkook very much for Jimin very very much😩

If I went shopping for a boyfriend for Jimin I'll take Namjoon Tae Suga and drop them at the counter cos Kook is all I can afford 🙂

[silentglassbreak]

The plot with Jolly at the fest sound like very interesting story. I'd love to read it

I didn't get too much detail on this one, so I'm just going to run with it? First time writing for Jolly, so let's give it a shot.

**After writing notes: WOW this one went in an entirely different direction than I expected...

It just happened. I hope someone enjoys it. LOL.

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Soft smut, mentions of death

Sweater Weather

Why does no one ever have the balls to tell Noah he’s being a diva?

Listen, the man is my brother. We’re family. För alltid mitt blod. I would take a bullet for him, and I have no doubt he would do the same for me.

But, sometimes, he’s so fucking irritating.

How hard it must be to have such talent and be so attractive, everyone loves you, and you work hard to maintain an image. However, taking out the stress and pressures on the only guys who also know how being in this band feels?

Noah was arguing with one of the stage techs, telling him that the image they had prepared to be behind us doing our set was wrong. He’s right, they had prepared the image of the mannequins, when it was supposed to be the album cover, but that wasn’t this poor little man’s fault.

“God, it’s not a hard fucking thing to do!”

“I’m sorry, dude. I’m putting in the request to have it switched.” The man wasn’t exactly cowering, but he was intimidated for sure.

I stepped up behind Noah, letting a gentle hand fall on his shoulder. I could feel his muscles relax slightly under my fingers.

“C’mon man. It’ll be fine. We have an hour until our set. They’ll get it fixed.”

I felt him take a deep breath, and saw how he closed his eyes to center himself. This was something I taught him.

The tech scurried away, leaving us alone in our tent.

It was so fucking hot, which was interesting, given we were in Michigan. Upheaval festival was one of my favorites. It was a smaller event, which meant a more regular experience with the fans. Usually, it also meant better food and beer vendors.

“Hey, guess what I found?” Nick came bounding into the tent, a large mug in his hand.

“Beer, I assume?” Noah pointed his attitude at Nick, who rolled his eyes in return.

“They have a beer garden! Jolly, they’ve got a Swedish ale you might dig!”

I snorted. “Guarantee it isn’t actually Swedish.” Grabbing my hat from the couch, I placed it over my long hair that was pulled back in a low ponytail, and headed for the exit.

“I will go check it out though. Folio out there?”

Nick nodded. “He was spotted, so he’s chatting with some fans.”

I smirked. “Let’s hope he can get out before the set.”

Noah turned and looked at me. “Don’t be late getting back, please! We go on in under an hour.”

Shooting him a thumbs up, I headed for the mayhem of the festival.

As suspected, there was nothing Swedish about the beer, but it did have good flavor. I stood to the right of the beer garden, sipping my mug, and people watched.

It was always so fascinating to see the mix of people who came to these shows. European festivals were one thing but American festivals? You saw everything from multi-colored hair to breasts only barely covered by mesh tops or pasties. It was a sight to behold.

After a moment of zoning out, I looked down at my watch to see I still had twenty minutes before we had to head to the stage. Noah was likely bursting because I wasn’t back yet, and I smiled to myself at the thought. He could sweat for a few minutes, would do him good.

Deciding I should at least start making my way back there, my eyes scanned for the direction I needed to go, somehow getting turned around. Eyes searching over heads and bodies, I didn’t even see the person coming toward me, knocking my shoulder directly into them as I began walking forward.

My beer sloshed over the edge of the cup, pouring foam down the girl’s arm.

“Fuck! I am so sorry!” I turned, and my eyes locked onto the face in front of me.

Wisps of natural, dirty blonde hair floated in the slight breeze, framing a tan, small face. The rest of her hair was pulled up on top of her head in a bun, tightly secured. Her eyes were lightly lined with black, mascara clinging to her lashes. Pink, full lips covered by only a thin gloss were hanging open, startled by the cold liquid on her shoulder.

“Shit! I didn’t even see you, I’m so sorry!” She apologized, wiping her arm with the sweater tied around her waist. Her white tank top was now an amber color on one side.

I couldn’t speak. She was gorgeous.

“Jesus, I’m such a fucking klutz.” She groaned, hastily grabbing napkins off of the cart behind us and wiping at her arm, and then at my hand.

When her ice blue eyes looked up at me, I felt the air rush back into my lungs.

“No, no that was my fault. I’m very sorry.”

When the realization crossed her face, I saw it like a firework exploding behind her vision.

“You’re Jolly fucking Karlsson!”

This made me chuckle. “Something like that, yeah.”

I reached a hand out, which she took graciously, smiling at me with a wide, toothy grin.

“It’s such an honor. I’m a huge fan. I was actually rushing so I could get back to see your set!”

Her words snapped me back.

Fuck.

“Oh, good! I’ve got to get over there! But, uh,” My brain was working overtime. “maybe I can find you after? You can buy me another beer?”

I let any suave I had take over, which seemed to work decently, given she blinked multiple times.

“Sure, of course!”

“Jolly!” My head snapped over to see Matt barreling toward me. “Dude we go on in ten minutes!”

Looking back, I watched as her face fell slightly, my arm now being physically pulled in the opposite direction. Being led away, I hollered.

“I’ll meet you back here!”

I was only given a nod, and a wave in response.

-

The set was electric, Noah's earlier nerves rolling off of him comfortably as he put on a show. Nick was absolutely flawless on his bass, flipping his hair over and over. Folio, as usual, lost himself in the drum beats, freestyling here and there.

I, however, was way off my game. Something about my encounter with the mesmerizing blonde earlier kept me thoroughly distracted. Over and over, my eyes swam through the sea of people in the crowd, trying my hardest to find a blonde messy bun and steel blue eyes, but it was in vain. I couldn't see anything.

I thought about her again and again, unable to shake the feeling of wonder from my bones. For whatever reason, I needed to see this girl again. Her aura, her energy, it radiated beauty, rarity, like a gemstone.

Pärla. A magnificent treasure.

The thoughts racing in my brain made me lose my focus more than once. During Nowhere to Go, I missed several notes, my guitar making an awful screeching sound. I forgot to sing backup vocals during Limits entirely, earning me a glare from Noah, and a look of concern from Nick.

I had ignored it, and continued on, my eyes still searching. It was hopeless. I would find her after. I had to.

Once Dethrone concluded, and I ran off stage, setting my guitar down, I felt a hand pull my arm, flinging my backward.

"Dude, are you okay?" Nick looked straight at me. "You drunk?"

I furrowed my brow. "Of course not."

"Well, you don't really fuck up on stage, Jolly, so what the fuck?" Noah was standing directly behind Nick, eyes shooting me down with fury.

I shrugged. "I'm sorry. I was looking for someone."

This made them both leer backward a moment. "Who?" Noah asked.

"This girl. I met her at the beer garden."

They reacted equally differently. Nick let up a sly smirk, his eyebrows raising. Noah, however, narrowed his eyes.

"You almost blew the set for some broad?"

Rolling my eyes, I turned toward them. "I didn't blow the fucking set, Noah. Quit being so dramatic."

I could see the fire burning behind his irises, which I would definitely pay for later in the form of his attitude.

"Are you fucking kidding, dude?" Noah began scolding me, but Nick held up a hand.

"Chill. Jolly never fucks up, ever." He turned to Noah, giving him stern eyes. "And the set was fine."

Huffing, Noah stomped away, throwing a tantrum like a child.

I smiled at Nick, grateful. "You know how he gets at festivals."

Nodding, I began to walk away. "Got to go."

Waving him off, I weaved through all of the people behind the stage area, making my way back out to our tent, where Davis and Matt were already packing up equipment. I grabbed a clean shirt out of my backpack, and slipped it over my head. I pulled half of my hair up in a tight bun on top of my head, and slipped on my sunglasses.

Headed back out, I noticed the sun was nearly set, and the beer garden area was almost vacant, most people over by the stages. Sleep Token had just started, so the vendors were long abandoned by almost everyone.

I found the napkin cart, and stood, arms crossed, scanning around. After about ten minutes, I had to remove my sunglasses to be able to see clearly as night was falling. A chill ran up my spine as the temperature began to drop. No sign of her, but I didn't mind waiting.

Thirty minutes.

Forty-five.

One hour.

I stood, eyes glancing around, head bobbing to Sleep Token's heavy bass and Vessel's incredible vocals. However, my mind was elsewhere. Maybe she didn't want to miss their set? Maybe she forgot where to meet? I didn't know how to find her.

I didn't even know her name.

It was a mystery, and I couldn't get it out of my head. I was going to have to give up soon. The festival would be ending, and I would have to get back with the guys, head back to the hotel. The thought made my stomach sink. Why was I so entranced with the idea of this girl? All she did was spill beer on me. Why did I insist on finding her?

"Jolly?"

I spun, much faster than I should've, on my heel, and was met with cold, freezing blue eyes, staring up at me. Her gloss was worn off, and her eyeliner was smudging ever so slightly under her eyes. Her bun was long gone, blonde hair now free-flowing down across her shoulders.

"Pärla."

Her smile was confused. "Uh,"

"It means gem. I didn't know your name, so I decided to go with that."

The blush on her cheeks was a sweet addition to that gorgeous sun kissed skin.

"I like that." She rubbed her palms on the front of her jeans. I noticed her sweater was now around her shoulders, covering the beer stain on her tank top. "I'm sorry, I know we said we'd meet after your set. I had to get one of my friends back to our hotel."

Shaking my head, I waved her off. "No worries."

"Did you wait long?"

An hour wasn't a long time, I don't think.

"Nope."

With a finger pointed at the beer garden, she asked, "So, you want that beer?"

I perused this. I wasn't much for a drink right now, comfortable with just talking to her. "You going to have one?"

Shrugging, she looked over toward the crowd. "I don't think so. I've got to get back to the hotel with my friends soon. One of them is really drunk, and is a sick mess."

My face soured. "That doesn't sound fun."

Scrunching her face, she stuck her hands in the pocket of her sweater. "It isn't. I'm pretty annoyed about it, actually."

Nodding, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I had been ignoring it for a while.

Matt: Dude, if you're coming with us, we gotta go now.

I typed a quick response.

Me: Meet you back at the hotel.

We walked around the festival grounds for a while, just chatting about different things, somehow managing to distract her from the fact that she should go back to her hotel, and I, mine.

"You're from Florida?"

She nodded. "Daytona. I hate it."

"Why? Isn't it sunny and beautiful all year-round?" I chuckled.

She joined me. "Sure, if you like a lot of drugs and alligators everywhere."

We found some benches, having a seat. I pulled a pack of smokes from my pocket, lighting one.

She stared at me, smirking. I lifted the pack toward her. "Want one?"

She shook her head. "I'm okay. Thanks, though."

Blowing out the smoke, I turned my attention back to her face.

"So why come to Michigan for a festival?"

Her eyes were lost on the crowd, amused. "Why not?" She leaned back on her seat. "I love the adventure of traveling. Seeing different cities. If I get to enjoy good music while I'm at it, why not?"

"You get to meet a lot of cool people doing it, huh?"

Looking over to me, I saw her lips turn up slightly. "Yeah, I do."

A cool silence fell over us for a moment while I finished my cigarette.

Out of my peripheral vision, I saw her head turn toward me. "It's closing."

We noticed the bodies moving past us toward the exit. I nodded. "We should get going soon."

I swore I saw a flash of disappointment cross her features, but only for a second before a look of excitement crept across her face.

"Hey, you want to go somewhere?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Where?"

Smirking, she stood, pulling at my arm. "I know a place, c'mon."

With no time to protest, she pulled me, and I had to nearly jog to keep up. I watched her hair, looking nearly silver against the bright lights at the parking area, fly behind her as she ran toward the Uber line.

We waited, and I slipped my sunglasses back on, and tried not to be obvious.

Once our turn came, she leaned forward to give the driver the address, quiet enough so I wouldn't hear. The driver raised a brow.

"I'm pretty sure it's closed for the night."

She waved at him. "Just go. It'll be fine."

With a nod, he began driving. I stared at her. "Are you taking me somewhere to kill me?"

Her teeth flashed. "You'll have to wait and find out." And she turned to look out at the darkness beyond her window.

Something inside me wasn't worried.

We walked along the boardwalk, out onto the sand. We could hear the soft waves crashing, but it was difficult to see beyond she shoreline.

"Welcome to Lake Michigan!"

The stars, bright and vast, seemed to bounce off of the stillness of the water. It was breathtaking. She bound ahead of me, slipping her shoes off and holding them. Her eyes were fixed on the water, before she dropped down in the sand, looking up at the sky.

I followed suit, taking a heavy seat next to her. It was so quiet, so calm. We weren't supposed to be here at midnight, but something in the chilled air felt so serene.

"What did you call me before?" Her voice was even, still looking at the sky.

"Hm?" I had to shake out of my thoughts.

"At the festival. You called me a name. In another language."

I smiled. "Pärla." She looked back at me. "It means gem."

A warm grin spread across her lips. "I like that." She echoed her earlier sentiment.

It occurred to me at that point, that she still had not told me her first name.

"What else do I call you?"

Her eyes narrowed, thinking. What was there to think about?

"I think that'll do."

I raised an eyebrow. "What?"

Her gaze turned back up to the sky. "Pärla. That's good."

"You're not going to tell me your name?" Confusion laced my voice.

Hugging her knees to her chest, her eyes transfixed on the stars, she bit her lip. "Not yet."

It was strange, but what could I do?

Silence fell over us again, but she eventually spoke up.

"Do you ever miss Sweden?"

Clearing my throat, I mimicked her body language, pulling my knees up.

"Sometimes. It's my home."

Her lips were pulled in a tight line, and I saw what looked to be a tear brimming at her eyes. "I never miss mine. I'm never going back."

"Why not?"

Turning to look at me, a slow tear rolled down her cheek, but she held a sad smile. "I'm happy right where I am."

Trying to process what she said, I struggled, because all I could feel was the urge to grab the tear with my finger, and wipe it from her face. I kept my hands to myself, however.

"So," I tried to lighten the conversation. "how long have you been a fan?"

This made a genuine grin crack across her face. "About a year. I heard you guys for the first time on TikTok. When I looked into the music, I was hooked."

I nodded, listening to the smooth sounds of the waves. "Yeah, that's how a lot of people found us."

"It's good music. I really enjoyed the new album."

"Yeah, it was fun to make."

She looked directly at me. "Do you like being in a band? What's it like?"

That made me huff out a laugh. "It's something else, that's for sure. Chaotic, at times. Rewarding, most others."

Amused, she crossed her legs under her and turned her body to face me. "What are the other guys like?" I raised a brow and she smiled sheepishly. "I'm not trying to fangirl, just curious."

Shaking my head, I turned to face her as well. "Nick is awesome. Mediator when things get tense. He tends to keep a cool head easier than the rest of us." I sighed. "Folio is...young. He's so lighthearted, and full of life. I envy that sometimes." She smiled at that.

"And Noah is..." I trailed off, choosing my words carefully. "Brilliant, but can be a lot sometimes."

"Like how?"

"Like," I intertwined my fingers. "he gets anxious. He's a perfectionist, so there's never room for error. It can be a pain in the ass, but we owe a lot of our success to it."

She nodded. "He's talented."

"Very. So, we put up with it, mostly."

Peering up at me from under her lashes, she spoke low. "And what about you, Jolly? What are you like?"

This gave me pause. How do I answer that?

"I'm..." I really had to think about that answer. "I don't know, really. I'm just, me? The guys call me the 'Dad' of the group, but I'm really only a few years older than Nick."

A hand slid over my knee, and I glanced down at it. "Well, I don't know you very well. Only from what time we've spent the last few hours, but I think you're very interesting."

Resting my chin on a fist, I considered her words. "Do you?"

"Yeah, I do. I think you're very sweet. And complex."

"Complex?"

She let out a giggle, which broke the quiet air with a sweet sound.

"Well, you got in an Uber with a complete stranger, without knowing where you're going, and now you're sitting on a beach in the middle of the night."

This made me smirk. "Point taken."

"That's shows adventure. I like it."

I focused on the ring piercing her left nostril, and the small batch of freckles on her nose. Her hair was hanging long, the moonlight illuminating it.

I felt the pull, the same one that brings the planets together. The pull that gravity is made of. Her eyes flashed back and forth between mine, and her lips parted so slightly. Instinctively, I leaned close to her until I could feel her breath against my face. It was cool, almost cold.

When the soft skin of her lips touched mine, she took a breath in, gasping.

My hand lifted to press against her cheek, pulling her closer, and pressing our lips together.

Like a lightning bolt struck the sand between us, we were lit up with energy. Her body lunged toward me, knees climbing up into my lap as she kissed me, tongue pressing into my mouth. My hands wrapped around to her back, pulling her into me, as she writhed against me.

Her hips pressed down, jeans grinding against mine, the lack of friction making it nearly unbearable. My lips kissed down to her neck, sucking and biting at the soft skin. Her hair had fallen over her face, eyes fluttered closed. Her fingers were grazing down my chest, pulling at the fabric of my t-shirt, and eventually landing to the button of my jeans.

My own hands located the access point of her pants, popping them open. Disconnecting for a moment, she pulled back to shimmy out of her jeans, leaving her in a pair of black panties, kneeling in the sand in front of me.

Staring directly into my eyes, she reached to my jeans and opened them effortlessly, unzipping them, my aching cock bulging against the fabric of my boxers. Her hand slipped to the waistband, freeing my erection. I stared at her with intent. Something in her eyes was dark, something I couldn't place.

"Do you want to?" Her voice was so small. So desperate.

I couldn't respond, so I only reached for her, pulling her face back to me. I laid her down on her back, leaning over her and letting my mouth mold over hers, one hand slipping down her stomach, to her core.

My fingers easily grazed past the elastic of the underwear, running through the soft patch of curls just underneath, until I felt the moisture of her lips between my fingers.

She moaned into my mouth as I slipped my middle finger inside of her, curling it to press against that soft, sweet spot that had her breathing erratic.

"Fuck." She breathed against my mouth. My hand was pumping her hard, a delicious wet sound nearly drowned out by the waves behind us.

"I don't have a condom on me, Pärla."

Her eyes snapped open, and she smiled. "I'm okay, if you are."

Morals? Rational thought? Responsibility? What is that?

I was okay. More than okay. This could be bad. Dangerous, even. Something in my gut - no - my soul told me that this needed to happen, and it needed to happen now.

Steady fingers pulled her panties down, slipping them off, before I hovered over her, lining the head up with her entrance.

As slow and precise as possible, I pressed in, my eyes falling closed with the vibrant sensation that engulfed me. She let out a long, deep groan with me.

"Oh God, Jolly."

I let my lips fall back down to the flesh on her neck, thrusting in and out comfortably, savoring the feel of her on my skin.

We went on like this for longer than I would've expected. Our voices echoed off of the water, the darkness swallowing us as our bodies synchronized. Her pussy tightened around me each time I pulled out, begging for more.

Eventually, I sped up the snapping of my hips, leaning up to get a better angle, pulling her knee up to her chest.

Her hands dug into the sand around us, head careened backward.

"Oh Jolly, fuck, so fucking good." She was biting down on her lip so hard, it was sure to bleed.

I was so close. I needed her release. "Come for me, Pärla." My breathing began stuttering. "Let go, for me."

A long, visceral moan left her lips, and I felt her walls spasm around me as I began emptying into her, my orgasm smacking me hard in the chest.

I pumped us through it, one hand holding her face, watching the waves of pleasure rush over it.

Once we slowed to a stop, I collapsed next to her, a lazy smile on my face.

"That was..." I started, too tired to finish my sentence.

"Unreal." Her words were stark. Matter of fact. Her eyes were looking back up at the stars.

I followed suit, zipping my jeans back up.

"I'm glad I met you today, Jolly."

I let my eyes fall on her again, and smiled. "Me too, Pärla."

My eyes opened to a flashlight shining directly on them.

"Hey, asshole!" I squinted, my hands coming up to shield my vision from the abrasive light. "You can't fucking sleep here. Go find a fucking shelter!"

"What?" I sat up, looking up at the person in front of me. A police officer.

"You've got to get out of here, man. I don't want to take you in."

I held my hands up in defense, standing to my feet. My eyes glanced around, realizing I was very much alone.

"Where's the girl I was with?"

The cop raised an eyebrow. "No one but you here, bud. Let's go."

His hand grabbed my arm, leading me off the beach. I turned back toward the water, hollering out into the darkness.

"Pärla?!"

No response. Just silence.

-

A week had gone by, and I was back home.

I had done everything I could think of to find her, but still came up with nothing. No name. No number. Just a physical description and vague location. Have you any idea how many blonde-haired, blue-eyed, tan-skinned girls are in Daytona, FL? It was comical.

After about four days, I had pretty much given up. Part of me felt hurt. Why had she left? Was she okay? She knew me, why hadn't she reached out?

Was she just in it for the sex? Or to say she screwed a member of the band? Did she regret it?

Something felt wrong. Her presence, her energy. It felt so genuine. I struggled to believe she really just ran off, leaving me to fall asleep alone on that beach.

I had Ubered back to the hotel, heading straight to Noah's room to tell him what happened. It was 4AM by the time I made it back, and he looked at me like I was insane.

Still, he showed his human side for a moment, and empathized with me, offering to help try and find her.

Back in Los Angeles, I was sitting in the studio, trying to perfect a guitar rift, when Noah bounded in with Folio. We had everyone together for the next two weeks before we left for the next festival.

"I don't get why people are so scummy."

I raised an eyebrow at Folio's words. "What's that?"

He turned to look at me, falling into a chair. "This article, man. About Upheaval?"

I stopped my strumming, looking up to give him my full attention.

I took note that Noah was scrolling on his phone fervently.

"What about it?"

Noah looked up at me, pursing his lips. "I guess someone got really hurt?"

"Not hurt. Someone fucking died, dude."

This made me furrow my brows. "What?"

"Yeah. Some girl got trampled in the fucking crowd."

Noah rolled his eyes. "The article I read said she had a seizure, and fell into the crowd. They didn't get her out in time."

"During which set?"

"Sleep Token." Noah responded.

"Wow, really? I saw damn near the entire thing. I didn't see anything happen."

"Well, that's the point, man. No one did, until the end. By that time, she had choked or something." Noah handed his phone to me, and I noticed it was scrolled to the bottom of the article.

"It's bullshit they waited so long to say something." Folio chimed in.

Noah shrugged. "Trying to protect the festival's reputation, I guess. Too bad. She was fucking cute, too."

My thumb scrolled to the top of the article, taking a moment as it was long.

When the picture at the top came into view, my hand that held my rig went slack, dropping the instrument on the floor.

It didn't make sense. It was a mistake of some kind.

25 Year Old Female Dies At Music Festival - Safety Protocols Being Investigated

The photograph that stared back at me, mocking my dropped jaw and widened eyes.

"Jolly, you good, dude?" Folio asked as he reached down to grab my guitar, now on the floor.

I couldn't respond. My blood had coagulated in my veins. My skin hardened to stone as my eyes stared at the picture, mind blanking.

The girl in the picture stared into my very soul.

Dirty blonde hair. Ice blue eyes. Small patch of freckles. Plush pink lips.

Pärla.

[bassettmemes]

A GUTS ASK MEME ISN'T A BAD IDEA, RIGHT? prompts from olivia rodrigo's sophomore album, guts (2023) — part 2/2. ↳ trigger warnings for mentions of grooming, abusive relationships (mental/emotion, not physical), eating disorders, body image, and negative self-esteem. some lines have been edited or omitted for clarity and comfort.

LOGICAL.

"Master manipulator, god, you're so good at what you do."

"Come for me like a savior, and I'd put myself through hell for you."

"Hear all the rumors lately that you always denied."

"I fell for you like water falls from the February sky, but now the current's stronger and I couldn't get out if I tried."

"You convinced me it was all in my mind."

"Now you got me thinking two plus two equals five, and I'm the love of your life."

"If rain don't pour and sun don't shine, then changin' you is possible."

"Love is never logical."

"You built a giant castle with walls so high, I couldn't see the way it all unraveled."

"All the things you did to me, ou lied, you lied, you lied."

"The sky is green, the grass is red, and you mean all those words you said. I'm sure that girl is really your friend."

"Lovin' you is lovin' every argument you held over my head."

"You brought up the girls you could have instead

"You said I was too young, I was too soft, can't take a joke, can't get you off."

"I know I'm half responsible and that makes me feel horrible."

"I know I could've stopped it all, God, why didn't I stop it all?"

GET HIM BACK!

"I met a guy in the summer and I left him in the spring."

"He argued with me about everything."

"He had an ego and a temper and a wandering eye."

"He said he's six-foot-two and I'm like, "Dude, nice try"."

"But he was so much fun and he had such weird friends, and he would take us out to parties and the night would never end. Another song, another club, another bar, another dance."

"When he said something wrong, he'd just fly me to France."

"So I miss him some nights when I'm feeling depressed, til I remember every time he made a pass on my friend."

"Do I love him? Do I hate him? I guess it's up and down."

"I write him all these letters, then I throw them in the trash, 'cause I miss the way he kisses and the way he made me laugh."

"I pour my little heart out, but as I'm hitting "send", I picture all the faces of my disappointed friends, because everyone knew all of the shit that he'd do."

"He said I was the only girl, but that just wasn't the truth."

"When I told him how he hurt me, he'd tell me I was trippin'."

"I am my father's daughter, so maybe I could fix him."

"I wanna get him back. I wanna make him really jealous, wanna make him feel bad."

"'Cause then again, I really miss him and it makes me real sad."

"I want sweet revenge, and I want him again."

"I wanna key his car."

"I wanna make him lunch."

"I wanna break his heart, then be the one to stitch it up."

" I wanna kiss his face... with an uppercut."

"I wanna meet his mom, just to tell her her son sucks."

LOVE IS EMBARRASSING.

"I told my friends you were the one after I'd known you like a month, and then you kissed some girl from high school."

"I stayed in bed for like a week when you said space was what you need."

"I waited by my phone like a goddamn fool."

"Now it don't mean a thing. God, love's fucking embarrassing."

"Just watch as I crucify myself for some weird second string loser who's not worth mentionin'."

"My God, love's embarrassing as hell."

"I consoled you while you cried over your ex-girlfriend's new guy."

"My God, how could I be so stupid? You found a new version of me, and I damn near started World War III."

"Jesus, what was I even doing?"

"I placed my bets and it's not worth anything."

THE GRUDGE.

"I have nightmares each week about that Friday in May."

"One phone call from you and my entire world was changed."

"Trust that you betrayed, confusion that still lingers."

"You took everything I loved and crushed it in between your fingers."

"I doubt you ever think about the damage that you did, but I hold on to every detail like my life depends on it."

"My undying love, now I hold it like a grudge."

"I hear your voice every time that I think I'm not enough."

"I try to be tough, but I wanna scream. How could anybody do the things you did so easily?

"I say I don't care, I say that I'm fine, but you know I can't let it go. I've tried."

"It takes strength to forgive, but I don't feel strong."

"The arguments that I have won against you in my head in the shower, in the car and in the mirror before bed."

"Yeah, I'm so tough when I'm alone and I make you feel so guilty."

"I fantasize about a time you're a little fucking sorry."

"I try to understand why you would do this all to me."

"You must be insecure, you must be so unhappy."

"I know in my heart hurt people hurt people."

"We both drew blood, but, man, those cuts were never equal."

"Do you think I deserved it all?"

"Your flower's filled with vitriol, you built me up to watch me fall

"You have everything and you still want more."

"I try to be tough, I try to be mean, but even after all this, you're still everything to me."

"I know you don't care, I guess that that's fine, but you know I can't let it go. I've tried, I've tried, I've tried for so long."

"It takes strength to forgive, but I'm not quite sure I'm there yet."

PRETTY ISN'T PRETTY.

"Bought a bunch of makeup tryna' cover up my face."

"I started to skip lunch, stopped eatin' cake on birthdays."

"Bought a new prescription to try and stay calm."

"There's always something missin'. There's always something in the mirror that I think looks wrong."

"When pretty isn't pretty enough, what do you do?"

"I could change up my body and change up my face, I could try every lipstick in every shade, but I'd always feel the same, 'cause pretty isn't pretty enough anyways."

"You can win the battle, but you'll never win the war."

"Fix the things you hated and you'd still feel so insecure."

"I try to ignore it, but it's everything I see. It's on the posters on the wall, it's in the shitty magazines. It's in my phone, it's in my head, it's in the boys I bring to bed. It's all around, it's all the time and I don't know why I even try."

"I bought all the clothes that they told me to buy."

"I chased some dumb ideal my whole fucking life."

"None of it matters and none of it ends, you just feel like shit over and over again."

TEENAGE DREAM.

"When am I gonna stop being wise beyond my years and just start being wise?"

"When am I gonna stop being a pretty young thing to guys?"

"When am I gonna stop being great for my age and just start being good?"

"When will it stop being cool to be quietly misunderstood?"

"I'll blow out the candles, happy birthday to me. Got your whole life ahead of you, you're only nineteen."

"I fear that they already got all the best parts of me, and I'm sorry that I couldn't always be your teenage dream."

"When does wide-eyed affection and all good intentions start to not be enough?"

"When will everyone have every reason to call all my bluffs?"

"When are all my excuses of learning my lessons gonna start to feel sad?"

"Will I spend all the rest of my years wishing I could go back?"

[moonlit-stay]

(合 (HOP) Edition)

This is me writing out my thoughts of each song as I'm listening to them.

Feel free to ignore this😂

-

Walkin On Water thoughts:

GOD THE THUNDEROUS VIBES ARE SO, SO VISUALLY STRONG FOR THIS AND I CANNOT EXPLAIN HOW MUCH I LOVE IT

MISS THAT ERA SO MUCH

HOW THE FUCK DO THEY ABSOLUTELY DEVOUR EVERYTHING THEY TOUCH AND BREATHE NE A R I'M LOSING IT

MY MUSICAL PIONEERS🥹😭

GOD THIS SONG IS SO GOOD, AND THE FITS???????

CHRISTOPHER???? SIR????

GOD, RAP LINES VERSESSSS

Bounce Back thoughts:

OH MYIS FUCKIND GOD

HIT ME PLEASE WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT RHE FUCK. DID FELIX SAY????

HELIOKDJDJSHSJXDK

OH MY FUCKKNG GOD MY JAW HOT THE FLOR

I'M GENUINELY TWEAKING THIS IS SODJXIEJEJEIDJDJDH

RHE FUXKKNG VOACALS?????@?#>#>×>×<'

OH MY FUCKKNG GOD THID SONG

BANG CHAN???? THE FUCKJNG CLAPS????

MY BRAIN GENUINELY CANNOT COMPREHEND THIS SONG IS REAL LOED HELP ME

U (feat. TABLO) thoughts:

OH I AM EXCITED FOR THIS ONE

OG DEAR GOD THE BEAUTIFUL FUCKINF VOCALS

I WILL NEVER GET OVER THE EVOLUTION OF HYUNJIN AND FELIX'S VOCALS I AM IN LOVEEEEEEE

FELIX'S VOCAL RANGE IS SO INSANE MY GOD

WE TRULY SNAGGED SOME OF THE BEST VOCALISTS IN THE INDUSTRY. ARGUE WITH THE WALL.

I LOVE THIS SONG OH MY GOD

Walkin On Water (HIP Ver.) thoughts:

FUCKING HITTTTTT MEEEEEEEEEEEE

I SAID THIS ABOUT THE ROCK VERSION OF LALALALA AND THE FESTIVAL VERSION OF CHK CHK BOOM, BUT THIS VERSION OF WALKIN ON WATER AT MUSIC FESTIVALS WOULD HIT SO GODDAMB HARD

OH J LIVE THSI

THE WAY THEYRE RELEASING THESE VERSIONS AS PART OF THE ACTUAL ALBUMS???? SO GOOD

THIS HITS SO HARD OH MY GOD

Railway (Bang Chan) thoughts:

I AM NOT FUCKJNG READY LORD GOD

OH MY FUCIJG FOS

JAW IS ON THE FLOOR I CANNOTTTTT44

I HAVEN'T HEARD THIS ALL THE WAY THEOUGH YET, SO I AM LOSING IT

CHRISTOPHER FUCKING BANG

GOD THIS IS SO, SO FUCKING GOOD I CANNOT EXPLAIN

I NEED TO JUNPTHIS MANS NONES GOD PLEASE

CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR WHO HE SAYS WROTE THESE LYRICS🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

A BRICK WALL HE PASSES ONCE A WEEK PROBABLY

Unfair (Felix) thoughts:

THE VISUALS FOR THIS FUCKING STAGE??????????

BEAUTIFUL ETHEREAL PRETTY, PRETTY BOY

HIS FUCKJNG VLICE

I WILL GO BANKRUPT FOR THESE VOCALS

I USED TO PRAY FOR THIS PLEASE

In all honesty, there's something about him being our sunshine and releasing songs like this that jumbles my brain. Such a bright, happy boy with deep, meaningful, and kinda sad songs :(

HALLUCINATION (I.N) thoughts:

AHHHHHHHH IM NOR RAEDY

OH MY FUCKKGN FOSF

THE...FUXKING...FITS...MY...BRAJN...

I CANT RHINK STRAUGHT

I STILL FUCKING HEAR "Girl, I wanna see you naked" AND I CANT FUCKING JNHEAT IY

NAWT HELPING MY CASE YANG JEONGIN

AHAHJDI O G MT SGUCK G FOSBH

THE MAKNAE RELEASING A SONG LIOE THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY, HE DOES NOT WANNA BE BABIED ANYMORE

Youth (Lee Know) thoughts:

PRETTY BOY LETS GOOOOO

THE UNVEIL TRACK FOR THIS IS SO CUTE I LOVE IT I LOVE HIM LORD

I WILL NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE HIS VOICE

HE'S PERFECT

THIS SONG MAKES THE DEEPEST PARTS OF MY SOUL HAPPY

So Good (Hyunjin) thoughts:

VERSACE PRINCE FUCK THIS SHIT UPPPPPP

THIS IS SO HIS FUCKING VIBE OH MY GOD

MY FUCKING GODSDDDSSS

THIS IS SO FUCOING GOOD OG MY LORDDDDD

THE UNVEIL TRACK ON MY MINDDDDDDDDD

I LOVE SEEIMG HIM ENJOY PERFORMING AND THIS SONG IS JUST SO FUCKING PERFECT FOR THAT I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS

SEEING HKM HAPPY IS MY FAVORITE

OH MY FUCK???????

GODDAMNNNNNNNNNNNN

ULTRA (Changbin) thoughts:

YEEEEEEE3EEES

THINKING ANIUT THIS BUFF MANS STAGES FIT FOR THIS SONG LORD HAVE MERCY

WHO FUCKING KNEW WE WOUOD GO FROM SONGS LIKE STREETLIGHT TO DOODLE AND ULTRA🫠🫠🫠🫠

I LOVE THIS SO FUCKJNG BAD DUDE MH GOD

NEED HIM TO CHOKE ME OUT ACTUALLY???????

GODDAMNNNNDIXJ3HSUFIEJSH

Hold my hand (HAN) thoughts:

OUR FUCKING ROCKSTAR MUSICAL PRODIGY

OH THIS FUXKING VIBE

I LOVE HIS MUSICAL VIBE SO MUCH ITS JUST SO SO PERFECT

GOD HIS FJCKING VOICEEEEE

THERE TRULY IS NOTHKNG THIS MAN CAN'T DO GOD THE TALENT

NAME ONE TIME HE HAS NOT ABSOLUTELY KILLED HIS HIGH NOTES????? EXACTLY. AND THE CYCLE CONTINUES.

As we are (Seungmin) thoughts:

I WAS GENUINELY UPSET WHEN I REALIZED THIS IS THE LAST SKNG OF THE ALBUM??? EVEN TJOUGH IM HONNA BE LISTENING TO NOTHKNG BUT THIS ALBJM FOR OVER A MONTH STRAIGHT?????

THE UNIVERSE'S VOCALIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I COULD LISTEN TOBHIM FOREVER AND EVER MY CHRISTTTTTTT

SUCH AN INCREDIBLY BEAUTY VOICE FOR AN INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL MAN I LOVEEEEEE

THESE INDIVIDUAL SONGS ARE THROWING MY EMOTIONS ALL OVER THE GODDAMB MAP HAVE MERCY I BEG

GOD I LOVE HIM AND HOS PERFECT VOICE

THIS SONG IS SO SO BEAUTIFUL

ITS LIKE ANGELS ARE SINGING TO ME BRO GOOD LORD

Final thoughts:

As per usual, so insanely proud of my eight and I'm so glad I'm still here and just as eager to support them and their journey as I was last year, and all the years before that.

There has been so many instances where I've seen or heard these eight do something and thought, "there's truly no group who can do this like Stray Kids does," and that still heavily stands to this day. Nobody is doing it like them and I will die on this hill.

All that aside, I'm so proud to be a STAY and I can't wait to watch them continue to dominate this industry. I truly love my eight endlessly🥹

Also very excited for my albums to get here🫣

[starofhisheart]

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR OFMD S2 EP6-7 under the cut

Ok, that was A LOT. I have so many feelings but no coherence so i'm gonna do this bullet point form but def not in order, just in order of me remembering wtf happened lol

-IZZY AND WEE JOHN IN DRAG!!!!! Wee John looked STUNNING with that Divine-esque appearance and Izzy had that transmasc drag king kind of thing going on (iykyk) that made me love him even more

-Izzy singing LA VI EN ROSE took me tf out!!! i'm glad he got to finish it after the *ahem* distractions bc Con's voice is so beautiful I could listen to it forever. We better get it in the album!!! Also someone posted the lyrics translated and i cannot get over the lyrics:

"It's him for me,/And me for him, for life/He told me, he swore to me, for life"

-But not only was he singing the second half had fucking gentlebeard doing the dirty in the next room asdfghjkl which.....was hot, ngl. The passion was electrifying. I'm sorta glad we didnt rlly see it with everything that happened after bc it all kinda left a bad taste in my mouth.

Also Stede Bonnet canonically gets turned on by violence confirmed

Or trauma. Whatever.

-What else happened in ep 6 cause all i can think of is drag and singing and sex-

-oh yeah there was that shortlived sexually-charged torturer who i distinctly recall him being in another scene in the promo so unless that got the cut perhaps he's not dead...?

-Lupete missing all the action cause they were doing the nasty all night lmao so real

-Jim best wingman (gender neutral)

-Stede...Stedey boy, can I call u that? Now i'm gonna say this nicely, but WHAT THE FUCK DUDE? Stede in his white guy w undue confidence era fr. Zheng Yi Sao was so right for what she did truly

-But in all seriousness i feel like this whole thing in ep 7 was such a parallel to s1 but also a very necessary bit of conflict in their journey together that was bound to happen. THey want different things and neither is wrong or right for that. Stede did react poorly tho but like he just had sex w the love of his life, his first man, and Ed the very next day is like "aight i'm out". I'd be pissed too. After killing someone which we know is a big trigger for him historically.

But Ed also had a valid reaction. He's wanted to retire for a while and stede knows this but it hasn't seemed to have sunk in quite yet. He fears that Stede only sees Blackbeard and...its fair of him to have that impression tbh. These are two messy, traumatized dudes who have never had a real relationship and there's gonna be bumps. I hope we get s3 so we can better explore that like Djenks wants.

-Ok back to the fun stuff:

-Izzy barging in on GB and the docking joke. love his cringefail ass.

-IZZY IS HAPPY FOR ED EVEN IF ITS NOT WITH HIM

#growth

-the edizzy apology which was so typical of them. i expected it but bc i'd been building it up in my head all week w twitter pals it felt a bit anticlimactic but thats not the shows fault. it was very much in character and if they're satisfied so am i. i always have fic for more

-stizzy commiserating over losing ed pls thats all i've ever wanted!!!!!

izzy: "when i told him i loved him he-"

stede, like he's heard this story before: "shot u yes"

and the look they gave each other after!!!!! stizzy nation how we feelin?!

-izzy being like "stede no" when he was on his macho bullshit w zheng yi sao (also motivated by trauma bc he just lost ed, he cant lose MORE family!!!). i just like how protective iz seems of stede now.

-izzy''s "you're good for him" CRYING THROWING UP ETCETERA

-ed catching 1 fish and deciding thats his life now. adhd realness fr

-the swede whew is it hot in here or is that just jackie's effect on her husbands?

-jackie and ed actin like old friends. swede highkey shading ed adfghjkl

-anyway im sure there's more but i need to rewatch. there r things i wont go into bc its possible spoilers for the finale (tho its mostly just speculation some is based on bts not everyone may have seen). i am looking forward to and terrified for the show to end next week thats all i'll say

[shieldofiron]

Hey dude, so everything is good with my family member, and I was wondering if we (as in me) could get some omegaverse munver w pregnant Jason cause I need that fluffy pregnancy shit.

I'm so glad! I've actually been playing them in the sims and Jason is on baby number FIVE so I think I have an idea for this. It may be edging into hurt/comfort, but it's just a little domestic moment from these cute boys and we get very fluffy at the end don't worry.

All Jason' wanted was to be able to flop down, face first into the pillow and scream until his lungs gave out.

Celia had needed help getting ready, and then the twins went back and forth, fussing when he tried to breastfeed them together. So he had to do it one at a time. Somewhere in the haze there has also been a diaper blowout, and Celia had of course spilled chocolate milk which meant Jason had to stop everything to clean before it got into the tv.

He'd let Celia watch way too much tv because the twins were running him ragged, and he felt like the worst Omega in the whole wide world.

But he couldn't lie down and scream. Because he couldn't lie on his stomach at all. Because he was a few weeks from popping out another one. Another baby to scream at him and pull his hair and...

Calloused hands brushed Jason's upper arm.

"Hey there, hot stuff," Eddie whispered, "Sorry I'm past bed time, they made a change to the stems-."

Jason swore he didn't normally cry this fast. Okay, he did, but he was supposed to be a dad now, and dads didn't cry.

"Oh," Eddie gathered him close, "What's wrong?"

"It was just... I just..." Jason shuddered, "I don't think I can do this."

"The album will be done soon, babe, I'll be home more," Eddie wiped Jason's tears away, "I know it's been a hard one. I know I haven't been-"

Jason shook his head, "That's not it. I almost lost it in front of them today."

"Lost it?" Eddie stroked his cheek, "Your temper? Babe-"

"No, I almost cried," Jason sniffed heavily, rubbing it on the arm of his pajama top. He hadn't even had the energy to get dressed today.

"What? Babe, who cares?" Eddie frowns, "I cry all the time."

Jason swallowed hard, "W-what?"

"This parenting stuff is hard and I won't lie to you, we may have gone a little overboard with pups right away," Eddie smiled, "Not that I regret a single fucking second. But sometimes... shit, I was this close to falling asleep with Jamie in my arms last night, and when Luce started crying I was right there with her. I would literally kill for a little extra sleep."

Jason wiped his nose miserably, "I'm their dad. I can't just go bursting into tears over spilled chocolate milk."

"Why not? You don't have to act like everything's okay all the time. Actually, please don't act like everything's okay. Come to me," Eddie kissed his cheek, "We'll cry together over the chocolate milk, right?"

Jason's heart swelled, and his eyes overflowed all over again.

And then, of course, Luce started to cry, wails echoing across the walls of their tiny fixer upper.

"I got that," Eddie nudged Jason to the bed, "You have a good cry, okay?"

Jason swallowed, trying for a moment to keep the feelings in. But by the time Eddie came back to bed and wrapped his arms around Jason, smelling like reheated breastmilk and baby wipes, Jason was fully weeping.

"I love you," Eddie whispered, "And I love our life. Tears and all."

Jason trembled a little, smiling despite himself, "I love our life too. I'm sorry. I just got so overwhelmed. And I don't even know how we're going to handle it with the new baby too."

"I don't know. I think we have a leg up, because it's gonna have the best Omega dad in the world," Eddie kissed Jason's cheek. "Who cries over spilled chocolate milk and kisses all their boo-boos and tries so very hard, all the time."

Jason smiled, "Baby-"

"Are you craving chocolate milk too?"

"Yes, we can't talk about it this much," Jason laughed.

Eddie hopped up onto his knees, "I'll make you one. No, we'll do one big one with two straws."

Jason made the bed before Eddie got back, spreading the quilt out and kneeling on it.

"You remember when we had no money, and you used to take me on picnic dates?" Jason smiled when Eddie sat on the bed and offered Jason one of Celia's favorite crazy straws.

"I remember how beautiful you look spread out on a picnic blanket, yes," Eddie smirked, sipping from his own crazy straw.

Jason rolled his eyes, "I'm trying to be romantic."

"What's not romantic about what I used to do to you on the picnic blanket?" Eddie smirked, "The poets would write epic poems as odes to your beauty, omega."

Jason huffed a little, blushing and taking a sip.

Eddie sipped from his straw, "I remember how we used to lie there afterwards in the grass, and you'd pull me close and tell me all your plans for us. The kids. The house. That I would get to play music every day... pretty romantic to me."

Jason's eyes felt a little hot, like he was going to cry again, and he looked up at the ceiling to try to calm it.

"How'd you do that, babe? Or did you just want it so bad you made it real?" Eddie asked softly, taking Jason's hand.

Jason swiped at his eyes, and Eddie set their chocolate milk on the side table.

"Don't cry, babe," Eddie crooned, pulling Jason closer, "I haven't even spilled it yet."

"I love you."

"I love you, Jason Munson," Eddie rubbed a hand gently over Jason's belly before sliding around to rub the small of his back, and his eyes looked suspiciously wet too, "I love you so much."

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 3/21/2023

i didn't want to sit down and write this bc i was having too much fun playing viddy gaem

listening

IT'S QUICKER AND EASIER TO EAT YOUR YOUNG!!!

"i'm starving...darling,,," is very sexy but the way the lyrics slowly slide into something more and more horrifying until the chorus hits??? mwah. lovely.

my one critique is that this song is...breathy, for lack of a better word? does not showcase the man's magnificent pipes. oh well! there are other songs.

how'd i find this: im gay, also he is one of the most popular indie artists in the World. his first album went platinum six fucking times.

-

reading

i read all of frank miller's sin city bc im on a noir kick and i didn't have a good time. the closest i got to fun was (deadly little, always described as "deadly little") Miho, a mute japanese??? generic asian??? assassin who is tits out not in these panels but in almost all others, rollerblading around mowing down guys with her katana. that was a painful sentence to write.

i read a lot of genre fiction. i read a lot of older genre fiction. they are not written with me, a bisexual "woman", in mind. and that’s ok bc not everything has to be written with me in mind. rarely have i read something that is more For The Boys Only!!! than frank miller’s sin city. felt kind of gross and a little put off the whole time i read these and they made me a little bit upset and afraid of men in a way i have not felt since high school. now it does feel odd to go “i didn’t think this noir was very pleasant >:(“ but miller’s work feels unpleasant and distinct from, say, chandler or hammett in a way i am still having trouble articulating. it is possible that the misogyny in chandler is a flavor i already know and barely register the taste of anymore. it may be that i got tired of looking at miller's women with twelve-inch waists and nipples as full and perky as their mouths.

mostly i think the labor market in sin city is super fucked up. women in sin city exist to have their value extracted from them in a way that is different and worse than normal capitalism. like, i can see how someone would read these comics and go full SWERF. women are literal trophies, both arm candy and in a very upsetting trophy hunting way. especially in the final volume, women are machines of potential profit. aside from one landlady and one cop and one child who grows up to be a prostitute, all the women in this whole city seem to be prostitutes or prostitutes who have married up and out. like there aren’t really even any women on the street just walking or in diners. it’s all dudes.

this is probably a comics vs novels thing, but miller is often sadistic in a way that chandler is not. a guy dies on a page to make cool art. they fuckin mow through dozens of goons a volume. if a guy dies in chandler it’s usually bc chandler's philip marlowe has stumbled across a dead body accident and it becomes a tremendous pain in order to tip off the cops that a body needs retrieving without getting framed for the kill. marlowe (and by extension chandler) is a people person-- he is a detective bc he likes figuring out what makes people tick. he is alert and it's hard to get one over on him but his resting state is congenial. despite his job, he still does believe in the concept of justice.

sin city (more of a comment than a question) says "if people piss you off you should kill them." this is not to make light of the very real Situations that protagonists in sin city find themselves, but there are very few problem solving skills on display other than "apply dick" or "apply gun". VERY RARELY, "apply pussy". that last one almost never works out tho.

aside from All That, it does contain some of the best straight up art (not just comics art) ive ever seen. the command of light and shadow is incredible. the command of negative space is incredible. panels aren’t busy unless they’re showing the chaos of a scene. he doesn't draw every single brick bc that's not important to the scene. it’s really quite stunning.

also the MOVEMENT in this fringe is incredible. do u see what i mean about the nipples tho

-

watching

i gotta lotta fuckin bones to pick with the manda/lorian but they're all spoilery. this shit fucking sucks man. it's twenty fucking twenty three we have had well over a century to master storytelling through the art of the moving image.

all three eps so far have felt very weirdly edited-- like a lot of changes happened after filming and there wasn't enough time for pickups?? this is a gajillion dollar show just reshoot some shit on your little fake stage i am Begging you. at least bo-katan looked hot. god she's awful i love her

again again i say to ye, what if star wars was good? i am slightly terrified that andor may have ruined me for any s/tar wars that follows but by any metric these first three s3 mando eps are simply not good television.

-

playing

ty @pasta-pardner for gifting me Weird West some weeks ago bc it is the new thing i am obsessed with. this first trailer gives a better sense of the Vibes than the launch trailers imo

i find it is scratching a lot of the rpg itches that new vegas does: you wander around beautiful western settings running into weird shit, followed around by a hot butch you've recruited to your cause. unlike new vegas, it is a little less forgiving and you have to really scrap and loot everything that isn't nailed down.

this is a top-down action rpg with a weird little aiming system that is sort of a 3D twinstick? it takes some getting used to, and shooting is not the part of any game i am particularly good at. here's xbox wire's screenshot, which gives a good idea of how isometric it is and what enemy detection looks like. i do wish i could expand the minimap, bc some of the locations like mines or bigger towns can really sprawl.

i have one big annoyance bc it is a thing that made me take a break and sulk for a bit: as you're traveling across the map (not open world, location-based), you can run into Travel Encounters. you can decline to engage with some of them. you cannot save within or between the encounters unless you stop and make camp. if you're on a long journey to a different corner of the map, you might run into three Travel Encounters. if you die on the third, you are catapulted back to your starting point. this is tremendously annoying in the early game, so either take short trips or get good at about-facing and exiting areas quickly.

a writer i admire likes games that let him tell stories about what happened in the game to other people-- this is a game that very much facilitates that. i was ambushed during a Travel Encounter by the some outlaws, bc i accidentally let one escape while i was trying to collect a bounty on his boss, and that specific named grunt came back with a Vendetta. but! i met a dying outlaw from the band who kidnapped my character's husband in a different second encounter, swapped some bandages for a treasure map, and he is now a Friend for Life. so he showed back up to help me during that ambush AGAINST FELLOW OUTLAWS WHO SEEM TO HAVE SOME SORT OF MEMORANDUM OF UNDERSTANDING??? mWAH. DELICIOUS. LOVE SYSTEMS INTEROPERATING.

ive put like six hours into this, and it has five chapters with five different characters. i have not progressed past the first chapter bc i am having so much fun poking around. i am so so so grateful that the first character is a wife seeking revenge and not the other way around. ppl are throwing big baby tantrums in the steam forums about this but you know what? some husbands should be macguffins sometimes. widens their perspective.

i am fascinated by the drips and drabs of lore this game is feeding me. there's an order of witches with huge underground temples that (crucially!) they did not build, but have adopted for their own uses without really understanding who built them and why. i want to know so much more about their whole shit. there are werewolves but idk what their deal is bc i haven't met any yet.

i am a simple woman! i only demand perfect cowboy western-flavored rpgs and so far this is holding up. i will have more thoughts as i go along but goddamn is it fun to play. we truly do love a competent little rpg with interesting lore and good stealth mechanics that lets you loot everything in sight.

-

making

mostly fallow week, wrists hurty

made this tuna-chickpea salad for lunch. it is quite rich for a lunch. there are a lot of components that may be challenging to digest all together for a milennial with tummy troubles.

this would have definitely been improved by solid instead of cheap chunk tuna (or salmon. this would be great with canned salmon) and if i actually chopped the baby spinach instead of going "it's fine" and flinging it all in. or maybe wilting the spinach, but that's a lot of extra work and this would be a very warm, wet salad :/ the point is the chickpeas really want to sink to the bottom. i like that there is no cooking involved, only assembling, but realistically i have only half of these ingredients in my house at any given time. screengrabs from the site bc i paid a dollar but there's no reason you have to

[wenjunehui]

you 🤝 me: We Need To Eat Lee Felix ASAP

but also [deranged screaming] this is my first comeback with them as a stay and i'm going to go insane because EVERYTHING about this comeback will not let me live like ?????????????? please stop for my sanity despite having none in the first place

my first comeback was noeasy (? somewhere around there) so i've been around awhile but it's always been like. oh yeah those men hot but anyway what about jun. i had bigger and better things to focus on so i didnt really try to get super into them 😔 and it took me the LONGEST time to choose a bias bc i just liked them so casually and i wasn't super attached to any of them (and also my ex friend was crazyyy about hyunjin so i was like damn ok girl u can have him chill ! she almost put a hole in her tv once watching the red lights mv but that's a whole nother thing). then by the time oddinary came out i had watched a little more and knew them a little better (lots of chan/felix compilations in my youtube history bc theyre so silly together little guys) and i was like okay yeah its official. that dude is My Man. he's just so auuuurghhhhh grrrrr bark bark bark i love him but at first i just picked him bc i liked him the best even tho i still didn't know that much about them. and then like for some reason in the last couple months something just clicked and i've been feral deranged foaming at the mouth over him ever since like idk what happened but one day out of the blue i woke up and i was like. must eat him must eat him must eat him i need that man carnally viscerally desperately. i have probably read every single felix fic on this app in the last week i've literally just been scrolling thru the felix fluff/smut/etc tags every night for hours like i am down BAD. definitely not more that svt and definitely not ult status yet but like. he is climbing the charts i fear he is getting closer (svt pun). also a friend from the kpop club at my school recently dropped her skz collection and gave me like 6 felix photocards and i was like well fuck now i need MORE of him and so then i bought all their recent albums and my wallet is very unhappy about that but serotonin part of brain is very happy about that. silly little man cards make happy chemical go brr

[bisluthq]

I’m sorry but that engagement is fully out of pettiness (im the anon with the crazy bitch chick you labelled) and it’s reminding me of that when my person (when I cut them off) was bragging to me about their ‘great life’ and then purposely dropping the ball to me sly (and petty) they have a gf, and then showing off to me their Mercedes on purpose. I also went thru the love bombing and all that shit. Now that girl gets everything I ever wanted but whatever’s.

This is what it reminds me of. Like Matty stinks of petty behaviour, so I wouldn’t be surprised the timing of it wasn’t a coincidence especially after the album only came out not to long ago. And he did it just to be petty, and “last word” on her.

Men also do that too cuz they got rejected, so they try to “humble” their exes by giving the next they promised and or treating them better, but yrs down the line they’ll admit they aren’t actually happy and realised they fucked up and miss their ex (one that got away)

OR if it isn’t out of pettiness and purposeful timing and he’s actually mad crazy over gabbriette (guess like my person how they bragged to me) maybe they did learn from treating (as in Taylor bad, same w me) and then the new girl gets the “reformed” or better version, cause they changed/realised they fumbled and that’s why they give the next girl the roses and treats them right, sometimes you end up as the girl who unfortunately is the lesson.

Either way mess. Least my shit was LD, and wasn’t ending in engagement that crushes more than a few social media posts and or them direct bragging they’re happy.

Poor Taylor. You could tell too she really did love Matty and wanted it all with him and now she has to watch what she was promised given it someone else ouch especially after waiting 7 years with Joe I’d end up spiralling omg

my takeaway here is I'm glad you've cut off that crazy ass motherfucking bitch dude. You deserve soooo much better. Let that other girl have her insane fucking ass. You don't need that shit in your life xxx love you lots sending hugs and yea this sucked for Tay.

[foxgloveinspace]

saw your tags on my post and i hope you find that ‘spark’ to really go feral over sleep token again! they’re so much fun to be batshit crazy over, there’s just so much going on and they all seem like such genuine dudes i can’t get enough

that post was sparked by seeing a video of vessel sobbing through the end of ascensionism and like i was so done for after that. like physically shaking so i figured i needed a break for a bit 😂

also i think that altar sounds like an awesome idea! as soon as i move my dresser into my new place i’m setting up an altar on it

1). i am trying so hard to get it back, for real for real. I lit the candle I associate with them this morning, and thinking about the *altar thing has helped a bit.

2). share a link👀?? if you still know the video?? even if you don't know the video still, maybe send some others?? I would like to be a menace over them lol.

3). * I am now going to info dump to you about my sleep token altar a bit. Cause I am thinking too much about it lmao.

(readmore cause this got long and something... 'tragic' happened.)

(a little.. background, I am currently irl in the closet for everything including witchy stuff lmao) So far my idea for stuff on it includes: a small back prism, a small whale statue, a small apple pendant (each to represent the three albums). A bottle of oils (the little one I made, but also maybe something like the prayer oil we talked about). The candle I associate with them. I'm kicking around getting the incense holder if it comes back in stock on their website. bones/teeth (wolf, I'm thinking wolf). I'm thinking it'll be a little place on my main/working/creative altar. I might also try to find a tarot deck that i associate with them, I think that would be fun. something else I have been thinking about, but it would be so freaking expensive to do, is making a rosary with the 'offical' -

shit.... fuck shit fuck. I think I just spoiled myself on accident cause of google. I didn't see much but i think an old pic of vessel came up, but fuck google man. I went to google the official scythe pendant and google change sycthe (yes misspelled like that) to members for some reason, I am so confused and actually mad. Ok. I think I have forced my brain to forget. worst google fuck up ever.

ok, so ... trying to move on... I want to make a rosary with the official scythe pendant, some tahitain pearls and some black amber beads. I think that would be so pretty, and nice to hold and maybe wear. ( i know traditionally you don't wear them, but like.... I am making one to a band/fictional god lmao, it's not traditional at all.) but that would be very pricy for a piece of jewelry and I would probably never wear it cause of that haha. it would be like 400$ to be able to get the supplies.

[oh-three]

Loki S2E6:

LOOK AT THE EPISODE NAME. SOMETHING'S GOING DOWN TODAY. (Also, this is the same name of S1E1).

Holy shit, it's an hour long.

The Marvel Studios logo is going backwards in time 👀

Time to watch Victor die again.

The first of many times.

Rip.

TIME LOOP!

Miss Minutes 🤣

Oh, well, that one was gruesome. Nice close-up of poor Victor's skull.

Loki: speedrunning the plan Sylvie: 🤨

He's actually gonna make OB teach him everything to make the next loops faster.

WAIT, REALLY. I did not expect the "centuries later" timecard, omg.

"Do not set the Multiplier down, or it will roll off the gangway." I wonder how many times that happened.

MOBIUS JUST CURSED 👀

There's the microphone shot.

HE'S ACTUALLY DOING IT. COME ON, VICTOR, YOU CAN DO THIS.

Suit integrity's failing....

HE DID IT.

Victor ain't gonna make it. I have never been so glad to be wrong.

It feels too good to be true. Something's gonna happen.

"The Loom is overloading again." Noooooooooooo 😭

"You can't scale for infinite. It's like trying to divide by zero." He's not even wrong. Damn, they were so close.

"It's almost as if as soon as the timelines started branching, this was doomed to happen." Yeah, and who helped create that problem, hmm?

YEAH, OKAY, THAT MAKES SENSE. BACK TO THE BEGINNING. HELLO, S1 FINALE.

Do it right this time, Loki.

Now he has to fight Sylvie a few dozen times, brilliant.

My heart is breaking all over again.

"If you want to stop me, you'll have to kill me." DUDE, IF IT ACTUALLY COMES DOWN TO THAT, I WILL LOSE MY MIND.

"So, how many times have you been at this?" Lmaooo, He Who Remains might be a time tyrant, but he is hilarious af. And scarily smart.

Oh. He froze time. Neat.

A COUPLE THOUSAND? This man is having way too much fun. Leave Loki alone.

He would totally mock his variant, oof. Be nice to Victor.

I can't decide if he's encouraging Loki or trying to keep him from stopping the Loom's overloading. Or if he just hates Sylvie that much.

OH, HELLO, S1E1.

Loki realizing that past Mobius doesn't know the Timekeepers were fake 😂

He's pretty much just telling him to kill Sylvie, omg. But also, that eight-year-old story is heartbreaking. Holy fuck, it was Renslayer.

"You just choose your burden." Ouch.

'Goodbyes' plays/Mobius spagettifies NO. I WISH I DIDN'T MEMORIZE THE NAME OF THIS TRACK FROM THE S1 ALBUM. Thank god for the timeslipping.

"I'm not giving you my blessing, if that's what you're waiting for." We'd never want you to, Sylvie. We'd never want you to. That might make it hurt even more.

Alright, Loki, what's the plan. Are we killing Sylvie and breaking everyone's hearts, or are we just letting them go back to the timelines as who they were meant to be?

Whoa, this guy's going out there himself. Without gear.

"I know what kind of god I need to be...for you. For all of us." 😭

Ooooh, now that's an iconic look. Definitely looks more like it's from the comics, that's for sure.

Oh, shit, there goes the fucking Loom. Is that undoable?

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present Loki, the God of Stories.

Also, I can't not mention the music. It's beautiful.

Well, there's one way to get back to the end of time.

HIS CAPE IS MADE OUT OF TIMELINES. HOLY SHIT.

sits down in the pristine golden throne in a crumbling castle

YGGDRASIL.

Oh god, they brought Miss Minutes back.

And, yay, OB's out of the shadows at last!

Oooh, Quantumania Kang reference.

"You're leaving." I don't know if I should be happy for him or fucking devastated. Mobius, don't go 😭 (all the same, he's earned it. and he's got good reason).

B-15 literally is the perfect person to run the TVA, though. They've got that right.

New TVA guidebooks 👀

A Victor Timely that got to live out life as he was meant to. ❤

Ravonna in the Void (good riddance)

GET HER, ALIOTH.

Mobius watching Don and his sons 😭

Oh, what's up, Sylvie

"It's the best house on the block." He's totally biased. But he should be allowed to be.

I love how supportive Sylvie is of him going back. She shouldn't have criticized him for it, but she's damn proud of him for having the courage to actually do it.

Is Loki just. Going to sit on that throne for all of eternity? That is so depressing. He sacrificed his life in a completely different way- he didn't die for the timelines, he decided to live for them, to literally be the one thing that lets them all flow. He really is the God of Stories.

Something tells me there won't be a season three..

[aaronafgash]

10 NEW SONGS - 4/14/24

It’s become clear that when you’re not completely ignoring your whole ass job, writing a whole ass article becomes much more difficult - who knew! Still aiming to get these out every week, just might not be a Friday / same day situation. Alas.

1. Hold Up - Sasha Keable

Sasha Keable has quietly dropped some gems in the past 4 to 5 years (I was shocked to discover that she’s the featured artist on Disclosure’s “Voices”, a song I've adored for years), but this single might be her best release to date. She confidently sings here over jazzy, electronic keyboard chords, giving us some modern … dare I say … Amy Winehouse vibes? At the very least, she sounds more like Amy than whatever the fuck is happening with this Back to Black movie.

2. Illusion - Dua Lipa

This sounds like early Dua, and I mean that in the best way possible. She’s been getting a weird amount of hate in the pop world - I think it’s hard to follow an album as incredible as Future Nostalgia, but none of these songs are bad at all. Leave her be!

3. The Kill - Maggie Rogers

A clear highlight from a really strong album in Don’t Forget Me, I fuckin’ love this. Her harmonies here are top notch, and the upbeat country / folk vibe she has going works so well with her voice and songwriting. This song is so good that I actually looked up tickets to her Milwaukee show in the middle of typing out this blurb.

4. Espresso - Sabrina Carpenter

Just a fun little girly-bop bop with bonus track vibes - I think she put this out for Coachella promo? Regardless, happy to add this to the library. 

5. Nasty - Tinashe

Tinashe has quietly released some bangers since she blew up back in the day with 2 On - add this one to the list. I would go feral if I heard this drunk in a bar. I will go feral when I pay way too much to hear it at a bar via TouchTunes.

6. Player Two - Jordan Ward

Jordan Ward doesn’t miss and this is catchy as hell. Looks like it’s going to be featured in a movie I’ve never heard of based on the title - interesting. It kind of sounds like a cross between disco, yacht rock, and R&B.

7. Ash Roth! - Asher Roth

I was a MASSIVE Asher Roth fan back in the day, so I was thrilled to see that he dropped a new album this weekend. This was a clear highlight for me, as Asher introspectively reflects on himself and his career over a laid back beat, reminiscent of his Pabst & Jazz era. Dude can really rap and I’ve always said that. I’m also realizing now that he’s released multiple albums since 2020 that I never listened to, so that’s a rabbit hole I will absolutely be going down in the near future. At one point, a video existed on the internet of Asher Roth singing "Just Friends" by Musiq Soulchild live on stage, and while I can no longer locate this video, seeing that told me everything I needed to know about Asher Roth. I'll bet you had no idea I had this much to say about Asher Roth. I can't even explain it, I surprise myself too.

8. TWUG (That’s What U Get) - Jean Deaux

A great R&B beat and a solid vocal performance from Jean Deaux. I always find myself wanting more from her projects when I listen through, but she’s released great individual songs over the years. 

9. magic - strongboi

Knew literally nothing about them before writing this but have since discovered that strongboi = Alice Phoebe Lou + a producer / collaborator? Alice Phoebe Lou fucking rocks, as does this song! Slayyy, niche indie queen. This sounds like a breezy summer day and I'm loving every second of it.

10. How? - Dhruv

Another artist I know very little about, but my god, Dhruv has a beautiful voice. I could listen to this man sing all day.

[insomnya777]

elaborating because i can and a couple people asked me to and we all know that all i need is a little encouragement to get me going

under the cut because i'm a grade-a yapper and this is going to be LONG. like super long. i've pulled up lyrics and songs and everything. <- your final warning

1. joel as sabrina

so no one really disagreed with me on this one and i don't think anyone will just because of the fact that he references her in his videos but like. i'm still going to talk about it because i want to and this is my blog and You Can't Stop Me!!!!!

if you don't know sabrina carpenter, basically just know that she's charismatic & confident & hilarious & gorgeous. plus like all of her songs are sooo him! they're fun and light and always a hit!!! but also can be scathing if they need to be!!!! her humour especially reminds me of him (as a character) because it's like ironic and self-aware but also flirty and silly but also a little twisted and a little mean. in particular i think that the cocky (not the word that describes it best but it's the only one i can think of) side of herself that she shows during her concerts reminds me a lot of joel with his whole "oh i'm so tall and handsome" bit he's got going on

literally like i don't know what more i can say to this. my dude has multiple of her songs in his playlist, he used espresso in his video, and also one of his tools on hermitcraft is named after a lyric. it's canon guys 🙏

songs that i think are the most him + specific lyrics:

espresso — i can't relate to desperation, my give-a-fucks are on vacation

read your mind — oh, i'll be laughing when you say that you really have changed, finally found your way, 'cuz i'm close to your face

tornado warnings — i deserve an hour in a week to focus on my thoughts, not so obsessed with yours i can't hear myself speak

lonesome — if i fall in love with all my problems, will they leave me too?

things i wish you said — nobody gets my jokes, everyone here thinks i'm fucking rude

bed chem — who's the cute boy with the white jacket and the thick accent?!

don't smile — don't smile 'cuz it happened, baby, cry because it's over

good graces — baby, you say you really like it, being mine, so let me give you some advice!

2. grian as taylor

okay this one is VERY personal to me. i am so unhealthily attached to him as taylor. you're probably thinking: but, nya, he literally canonically has an alter ego named after ariana grande! and i raise you this point: i simply do not care

all jokes obviously. i can see why people see him as ariana! especially in her new album, i've listened to it a lot, and i definitely can see some songs that remind me of his character - cough, cough, we can't be friends (wait for your love) - but i've got to say that ariana to me has always been scar (or maybe even a bit of jimmy? undecided) but that's a post for another time

now why i see grian as taylor! i have three main reasons for this actually. as an og swiftie and an og grian fan i may be a little bit biased but just. ignore that. thanks

first of all, i think that they're both kind of starting points, if you get what i mean. most hermitcraft/life series fans start with grian, and then eventually branch out to other creators. similarly, a lot of people listen to taylor swift/know her songs the best out of the genre she specializes in/within the audience her content is aimed towards

secondly, they're also both the most popular within their own branch, and i think they're both the type of artists/channels that you can enjoy without really being a Fan of. almost mainstream (? don't know if that's the term that would work for grian but you get my point). like you don't have to be a diehard grian fan to enjoy his videos, you can just decide one day to pick up one of them, watch it, then never think of it again. does that make sense?

third, i think they both have a lot of variety within their content. taylor's music ranges between emotions and styles, just like the videos that grian makes fluctuates in theme. he's on servers like hermitcraft, where we see him interact with other people and show off his building skills and just be silly. then he's in the life series, which is the total opposite, and then he was also in evo, which is also very different, and so on. his characterization also is very different from author to author, which is, of course, to be expected, but i haven't really seen other people in this particular fandom get characterized so differently to this degree. (it's not a bad thing!!!! i love it i think it's actually sooo fun & interesting that we can take this character and morph it into what we want. like most people don't even realize they're doing it you can only really pick up on it if you're looking for it)

songs that i think are the most him + specific lyrics:

castles crumbling — and you don't want to know me, i will just let you down

begin again — thinking all love ever does is break, and burn, and end

22 — happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time

call it what you want — and i know i make the same mistakes every time, bridges burn, i never learn, at least i did one thing right

the archer — 'cuz all of my enemies started out friends, help me hold on to you

don't blame me — for you, i would cross the line, i would waste my time, i would lose my mind

hoax — stood on the cliffside, screaming "give me a reason"

this is me trying — and my words shoot to kill when i'm mad, i have a lot of regrets about that

my tears ricochet — you know i didn't want to have to haunt you, but what a ghostly scene

mad woman — what did you think i'd say to that? does a scorpion sting when fighting back? they strike to kill, and you know i will

the prophecy — please, i've been on my knees, change the prophecy. don't want money, just someone who wants my company

3. jimmy as olivia

i'll be real with you, i have considerably less reasons for why i've chosen this. it relates a lot around his interactions with other characters instead of just him as a character + i've taken a few creative liberties here so. cut me someeee slack!

my main reason for this is that jimmy is just the epitome of teenage girl to me (just like olivia). that's probably a little bit of projection on my side because i, myself, am a teenage girl (which i don't know if many of you know? but yes i am a teenager) and jimmy's probably my favourite which leads to me kind of distorting his character a little. but. i don't know. something about the not being taken seriously, the refusal to give up, the insistence that this time will be different just hits me so hard/is relatable. not to get all serious on you

i will say this, though - while sabrina as joel was about both sabrina carpenter the person (or the person that the world knows) and also her music, i think for olivia as jimmy, it's mainly about the music. but you can also relate her relationships with other people (what we know of them, at least) to jimmy's with scott tango grian whatever. i think they do parallel each other pretty well, but, again, that's another post

i also think that jimmy's a lot more sour, not so much guts. olivia's first album revolves around that idea of heartbreak, jealousy, angst. i think his character usually revolves around themes like that. guts, olivia's second album, to me, is a little different. she's grown as a person, reflecting, and she's a lot more confident, too. it shows in her music. i think that jimmy (especially in the life series) is overall very, very sour coded, but then again, there are many songs on guts that definitely can be related to him too.

songs that i think are the most him + specific lyrics:

love is embarrassing — jesus, what was i even doing? 'cuz now it don't mean a thing, god, love's fucking embarrassing

ballad of a homeschooled girl — each time i step outside, it's social suicide

the grudge — i'm so tough when i'm alone, and i'll make you feel so guilty, and i fantasize about a time you're a little fucking sorry

teenage dream — when are all my excuses of "learning my lesson" gonna start to feel sad?

brutal — all i did was try my best, this the kind of thanks i get?

jealousy, jealousy — their win is not my loss, i know it's true but i can't help getting caught up in it all. comparison is killing me slowly

favourite crime — one heart broke, four hands bloody

1 step forward, 3 steps back — i hate that i give you power over that kind of stuff

THE END!!!!! i hope you enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing this and let me know your thoughts 🫶 always up for some debate!!!

if joel is sabrina carpenter coded (& he is trust) then grian is taylor and jimmy is olivia rodrigo. no i will not be taking criticism but i am fully willing to elaborate