#i'm laying in bed and I just CAN'T stop myself I have to say SOMETHING about it

[blazingblorbos]

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhrhhh HertaMei,,,,

[whimsyfinny]

Sexy F*cking Nerd

Dean Winchester x F!Reader

Summary: When Dean discovers a little secret of (Y/n)'s during a case research session he can't help but let temptation get the best of him.

Warnings: Language, Smut, Fingering, PinV, Oral (M receiving), slight angst if you squint, Dean having a glasses kink (not really a warning but not everyone wears them hahaha lucky bastards)

MDNI! 18+

Word Count: 5688

A/N: It's taken a little while but here is the second competition winner from a few weeks back, the prompt provided by the wonderful @foxyjwls007 - I hope you like it!

The motel room was stuffy to say the least - that usual aroma of stale cigarettes and cheap air freshener lingering around us. There was a dripping sound coming from God knows where and the AC hummed in between the concerning clinking from deep within the vents. It was crap. So crap. But it was home for a few nights; just like all the motel rooms that came before. Dean stepped past me and over the threshold, immediately slinging his duffle and jacket onto his chosen bed. He stretched his arms above his head, the grey Henley clutching his muscular abdomen and rising enough to flaunt what lay beneath. I sighed, following him in and slumping onto the bed beside his - the musty stench from the sheets enveloping me.

“Well…” Dean started, pulling Sam's laptop out of his bag and placing it on the small table by the window.

“Well…?” My voice echoed as I focused on the ceiling fan that spun off centre.

“...This is… nice?” His statement was more of a question as he looked around with raised eyebrows. I propped myself up on my elbows, flashing him a look of speculation.

“Seriously?” A moment passed before he huffed a long-held breath and slapped his large palms on his thighs.

“No of course not, this place sucks more dick than a hooker on payday.”

“You got that right,” I flopped back down onto the bed, a small dust cloud erupting under my weight. I closed my eyes and listened as Dean pulled a chair out from under the table, slumping down into it. Then there was the familiar click of the laptop opening followed by the sound of stuttered not-quite-touch-typing, presumably he was starting work on the case that we’d come here to investigate. The tap tap tap of whatever was leaking began to drill into my brain, my patience already wearing thin with the rooms dire ambiance. I pulled myself up to sitting, criss-crossing my legs on the bed and brushing whatever that dust from the bedding was off my sweater sleeves.

“When's Sam back?” I asked, watching as Dean searched the keyboard in front of him for some long lost letter.

“Uuuh, I'm not sure. He said to work this case without him.”

“Ugghhh, I bet he's having way more fun than us right now, it's not fair,” I plopped my chin into my palm and stared past the older Winchester out the window, almost willing Sam to appear and walk in like any other day.

“It's just some dumb wedding, I doubt he's having that much fun.”

I scoffed before I could stop myself, Dean breaking eye contact with the screen to throw me a raised eyebrow.

“Look,” I collected myself, “you didn't know Sam in college. He won't admit it but he was popular. Really popular. Not the total nerd you think he is. He's absolutely having fun with these people.”

“Yeah right. So who's at this wedding anyway? Why was it so important that he just had to be there?”

I rolled my eyes, knowing full well Sam had already told him all the details. Typical Dean.

“It's for a couple of friends who he and Jess were close with back then. Pretty sure the bride was prom queen in highschool or something and the groom was a trust fund jock. Either way, not my crowd,” I sighed slightly, memories from my college days flooding my mind.

Deans eyebrows twitched into a small frown, his thoughts seeming to cloud his vision for a second before he reluctantly dismissed them. I looked down into my lap for a moment, reminiscing how I always kept my distance from Sam whilst at Stanford, but he had always been that boy that would make my heart flutter when he spoke up in class or when I'd see him on the quad with his friends. I remember seeing him with his nose in a book once at my usual desk in the library, my cheeks burning when he caught me staring. Who would've thought several years down the line I'd be sat in a bottom-rung motel room with his obscenely good looking older brother researching monster lore. At least we would be researching monster lore, if it wasn't for the small growl my empty stomach had gurgled out. I couldn't stop the small pulse of embarrassment burning into my cheeks as Dean eyed me with a grin.

“Wanna get some lunch?” He asked, standing up like he already knew my answer.

“Fuck yes. I'm feeling burgers,” I shuffled to the edge of the bed and stood up, watching as Dean shrugged on his leather jacket and headed to the door, holding it open for me.

“Now you're speaking my language.”

*

The diner was almost as sad and withered as the motel room, however the food was nothing short of spectacular. I watched in awe as Dean polished off his second burger, a small glob of sauce sticking to his stubble and threatening to drip off his chin. He must've felt me watching in wonder - or perhaps disgust - as when he looked up from his plate he shot me a questioning glance.

“What?” His tone was a little defensive through the mouthful of fries he'd just shovelled in. I took a second before asking, half-genuine:

“Where do you put all of that?”

“Put what?”

“The food - where does it go? Do you have hollow legs? Two stomachs? Does it just evaporate as soon as you swallow it?”

He grinned, wiping the sauce from his face with a napkin.

“Goes straight to the abs baby. It's muscle fuel,” he leant back in his chair, stretching a little before patting his stomach to punctuate his statement. I simply rolled my eyes.

“Yeah right, you're not that muscly Dean.”

“How would you know? You've never seen me with my shirt off.”

“I know, and I plan to keep it that way.”

He feigned a pout before returning to his fries. We ate in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, my mind absently going back to all the lore we should be trying to gather. I gripped my milkshake that had so generously been served in a thin paper cup, attempting to suck the practically solid beverage up the equally thin paper straw. Finding the nearest library would be the next task on our to-do list, despite the protesting I know I'll get from Dean.

“Hey, (Y/n)?” My train of thought was derailed at the sound of my name. The slurping of over-thickened milkshake from myself ceased.

“What's up?”

“What were you like in college?”

I eyed him with caution, wondering what part of his brain was in control right now.

“What do you wanna know?”

Catching the wariness to divulge him to such information, he smiled slightly, shrugging his shoulders.

“I'm not asking to be weird, I just-” he paused, choosing his next words tactfully, “the way you described Sam as being a totally different person - some hot-shot with the perfect grades, popular friends and a girlfriend like Jess - it just got me thinking. How would Sam have described you?”

I almost spat my dairy-goop back into the straw, my brain freezing.

“Dean,” I started before planning what I was going to say, placing my cup on the table. “Sam wouldn't be able to describe me.”

My words brought a small smirk to his lips.

“You were that hot, huh?”

“What the fuck- no- I wasn't- he didn't- Sam never- ” I stopped myself before I had an aneurysm and took a deep breath.

“I was in a totally different crowd to Sam. He was always surrounded by people and, well, I barely even had a crowd.”

“Lone wolf?”

“Bingo. But definitely not the cool, collected, stoic type. Think more, invisible to the public eye, always carrying books, and borderline selective mute because of how shy I was.”

“Oh… what changed?,” Deans tone changed entirely, genuine intrigue seeming to take the wheel. I couldn't help but laugh slightly, remembering my method to forcing myself out of my bubble.

“The only job I could get was in a bar. No one else wanted the hours and I desperately needed cash. I didn't really have a choice after that,” I paused, remembering how terrified I was on my first day and grinned slightly, grateful for the extra confidence I had now because I took that leap.

“Hey, what sort of crowd do you think I would've been in?”

I snorted, looking up into his expectant eyes - almost captivated by the glistening greens.

“What am I? A BuzzFeed quiz? I have no idea Dean, you're too much of a wildcard to predict. You probably would've fit in with anyone and everyone.”

“Even you?”

For reasons unbeknownst to even myself, my breath caught in my throat. The sudden soft sincerity of his voice contradicting his usual temperament, my heart starting to flutter in my chest. If the college version of myself had met Dean back then I just know I would have been enthralled at first glance.

“I don't think you would've noticed me. You would've been surrounded by every tall, thin blonde and brunette with perfect tits. Trust me, you would've been distracted,” I smiled an almost sad smile at the thought of him simply being on university grounds and having the time of his life - knowing it was something that he was never going to get the chance to experience in this upside down life of his. Of ours. He tapped his fingers on the table for a second, likely lost in some ludicrous thought I don't think I'd want to be privy to. I attempted another slurp of my milkshake when the paper straw gave out and flopped in half, the need to leave conversation and the diner suddenly looming over me.

“Come on, let's get to the library before it closes,” I stood and pulled my oversized sweater down so it covered my ass before reaching for my backpack. Just as my fingers touched the worn fabric of the strap it was torn away, my head snapping up to Dean who flung it over one shoulder with his signature grin on his face.

“Lead the way nerd.”

I couldn't help but beam at his playfulness. I hated the fact that he made it so easy to adore him. Hated that he completely overlooked how I was his total opposite in almost every way. How when we were talking, his eyes never left mine - how he was genuinely interested in what I was like in the past. And how, when I had his attention, he didn't even notice that the hot waitress had written her number on a napkin and left it next to him.

*

The trip to the library was about as eventful as it sounded. After checking out multiple books on cursed items, local lore and popular antiques from the seventies, we loaded ourselves back into the impala, made an all-important beer run before heading back to the motel.

The small table by the window was now totally smothered by a blanket of books, maps and empty beer bottles. Deans chin rested in his palms as he stared blankly at the screen in front of him, and I must've read the last sentence of the paragraph laid before me a dozen times without it even sinking in. The obnoxious dripping and humming of ancient appliances was starting to make me feel restless.

“It has to be the boots,” Dean groaned, draining the last of his beer.

“Either the boots or the disco ball. But my money is on boots as well,” I sighed, pushing the book away from me and standing slowly, gathering the quickly accumulating litter now scattered around us.

“I'm gonna make some coffee, my brain is fried over how fucking ridiculous this case is,” I ditched the trash in the bin before filling the coffee machine, listening to it whir to life whilst I headed to my bed. I could feel Deans gaze on my back as I rummaged around my bag in search of a specific item.

“What are you looking fo-” he'd started to ask the question but his voice died in his throat when I turned around. I quickly pushed my newly adorned glasses up the bridge of my nose, already feeling the oversized frame start to slip down as I tried not to make a big deal over them.

“What?” My tone was a fraction off aggressive when I realised he was staring. He seemed to snap out of his daze, quickly rubbing the back of his neck and turning back to the laptop screen. He cleared his throat

“I uh, I didn't know you wore glasses,” I could tell from the slight tremble in his voice that his mind was reeling.

“Is there a problem with that?”

“No! I mean, no, absolutely not. They look good. The glasses, I mean. The glasses look good. Not on their own, obviously. On your face. They look good on your face. You have a great fa-”

“Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up.”

“Sorry.”

I grabbed a mug from the cupboard and set it on the counter, filling it to the brim with caffeinated goodness. I couldn't stop the grin spreading across my lips at Deans fumbling, almost finding the whole ordeal a little charming. I sat back down at the table and pulled the books back towards me, also grabbing my pen and tattered notebook.

“The guests at the club mentioned hearing footsteps - so it has to be the boots, right? A disco ball wouldn't make that sound…” my voice trailed off when I realised that, even though Dean was looking at me, he wasn't listening to a word I was saying.

“Earth to Dean?”

He flinched slightly at his name, but felt no shame delving in with a completely off-topic question.

“So how long have you worn glasses?”

“I’ve always worn them,” I slid back into my chair at the table opposite him, not sure whether to laugh at the shocked expression on his face or whether to be concerned about his observation skills.

“What?! No way, I would’ve noticed,” He opened another beer and took a sip before tracing the opening to the bottle over his bottom lip.

“ I only wear them for concentration work, and I have emergency contact lenses if I know I’m going to be around a lot of people as I don’t particularly like how they look.”

Dean made a small disagreeable expression before averting his gaze from mine back to the laptop, taking another swig of his beer. I placed my coffee mug down and settled back into the book I was reading before, and after a few moments I could feel my skin begin to prickle - as though I could feel a pair of eyes on me. I glanced up, my breath immediately catching in my throat. Deans eyes found mine, burning with an intensity that made my heart hammer in my chest. I didn’t want to look away, but under his gaze I felt like I’d been stripped bare, unable to hide my insecurities from an eye that seemed to scorch through to my very core.

“Dean-”

“(Y/n), you should really have more confidence in yourself; I think the glasses look cute as fuck. You should wear them more,” a fierce blush erupted across my face when he spoke, his assured tone leaving no room for disagreement. I tried desperately not to let on that his words held any sort of impact over my decisions so I looked down, away from his scrutiny and simply said:

“Maybe I will.”

He hummed in approval, finally looking elsewhere and I couldn’t stop myself from breathing a sigh of relief when the pressure of his stare was averted.

The evening dragged on and an hour and a half had passed since his loaded comment. I was on the third book we’d checked out of the library, now trying desperately to find the curse that would cause a pair of 1970s glam rock boots to dance for eternity and haunt anyone who tried to wear them. This case was absurd, and I could feel myself growing restless with the small amount of progress we’d made. I huffed out a sigh and leant back in my chair, the faux leather and rusted metal creaking under my weight. Pulling the hair bobble from around my wrist I scooped my hair into a bundle on the top of my head, securing it in place; the sensation of air on my neck seemed to clear some of the fog from my brain. The messy bun was comfortably enough that I could forget it was there, and I allowed myself a stretch before leaning back over the table, grasping my pen. As I began to read the next segment, I absently traced the end of the pen over my bottom lip, running it back and forth a few times before gently nibbling on the end. I heard the shuffling of Dean moving in his seat and a ragged clearing of his throat before the sound of vigorous laptop keys clicking ensued. Without looking up at him I continued reading, the pen still tapping my bottom lip, and when I neared the bottom of the paragraph, I slowly licked the pad of my index finger. My eyes never leaving the words, I turned the page swiftly with my dampened digit, the transition from one page to the next perfectly seamless. Another shuffle from the man opposite followed by a quiet groan filled the silence between us. Pen still between my teeth, I lifted only my eyes to glance at him and noted the dusting of pink across his cheeks and the furrow in his brow. Concluding that he’d had one too many beers I decided to ignore his persistent fidgeting, returning to my previous task on monotonous reading. Several sentences in and I’d almost forgotten Deans restlessness - that was until I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth, deep in thought, that I earned myself a throaty groan and an exasperated sigh. I looked up just in time to watch him wipe a large hand down his face, momentarily masking his pained expression.

“Can you not do that? I can’t concentrate when you do that.”

“Do what?” Upon asking my question I absently took the pen between my teeth again, quickly glancing down at the book to place a mental bookmark.

“That.”

“What?”

“That. That thing you do with our mouth, and the pen, and your tongue and your finger. Can you please stop before it kills me.”

The heat beneath my skin was immediate at his admission, knowing my small, absent-minded actions were playing on his mind and making it hard for him to think straight. I instinctively crossed my legs, a fluttering in my lower belly instantly dragging my mind back to the deprived things I’d imagined Dean doing to me in the depths of night. The places I’d imagined his hands travelling, the areas his lips would touch and the sensations his tongue could create. These were deeply, deeply personal fantasies, and right now as Dean looked at me with a restrained hunger, I felt like I was wearing these fantasies for the world to see. For Dean to see.

“It doesn’t help that you’ve been sat over there like a sexy fucking librarian all evening, but every time you do that anything with that mouth - shit, sweetheart you’re driving me insane.” His voice was gravelly as he looked at me with desperate eyes across the table. The overly rational part of my brain had shut down completely, and now the part of my mind that had spent hours conjuring vivid scenes of Dean Winchester ravishing me in my entirety had taken the charge. I stood slowly, taking a moment to reason with myself - unsuccessfully of course - before sinking to my knees in front of my chair. I could see Deans strong thighs were spread wide beneath the table so I crawled forwards, across the cold tiles and placed myself between his legs. Resting my palms softly on his thighs I made him flinch at the unexpected contact. He immediately scooted his chair back, allowing a gap for me to poke my head through - his hand instantly acting as a barrier between the edge of the table and my skull. I got comfortable and allowed myself a moment to gaze up at him, to take in the strained furrow in his brow and the parting of his lips. I observed the way his chest rose and fell in apprehensive breaths, and the way his free hand clenched into a fist on his thigh - like he was so desperate yet so scared to touch me.

“(Y/n)-”

“Dean,” I spoke softly, slowly running my hands up his thighs - delicate palms against rough denim, “you’re a smart boy - you know I wouldn’t do something I didn’t want to do. So please, don’t say I don’t have to do this.”

Dean released a shaky breath the moment my fingers unclasped his jeans. I tugged them down slightly with his help, just enough so I could dip my hand into his boxers and wrap my fingers around his half-hard length. The moment my skin touched his, his head lolled back and his eyes fluttered closed with a breathy moan on his lips.

“Fuck…”

I gently pulled him from his confines, coming face to face with the cock I’d literally dreamt of again and again. I took the scene in, committing to memory the sharp outline of his jaw and the way his long lashes rested on his lightly-freckled cheeks. The way that, every time he breathed in, I could see his defined muscle tone through the thin fabric of his shirt; and with every small caress that my fingers made against his length, it made his fingers twitch and teeth clench. I licked my lips before leaning in and took his tip into my mouth, not giving him a chance to finish sucking in air through his teeth before I plunged his entire length down my throat. 

“Oh FUCK.”

His hands flew to my hair, fingers gripping tight as they loosened strands from the messy bun, causing them to fall around my face. He’d lifted his head to look down at me, pupils blown as he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth. He looked nothing more than enthralled. Infatuated. Entranced. I moved my head up and down, up and down, again and again to a steady rhythm, pressing my tongue to the underside of his now rock-hard cock to trace every vein and nerve-ending.

“Shit, (Y/n), I didn’t know you could suck cock, like, at all… how’re you s’fuckin’ good…” his voice was breathless as he continued to grip my hair, his head flopping to the side as pleasure started to overcome his senses. I released him with a small ‘pop’, wrapping my fingers around him and smearing the warm mixture of saliva and precum from tip to base.

“Despite everything I told you earlier, Dean, I’m not a virgin - and this certainly isn’t my first rodeo,” my voice came out more sultry than I’d expected and I could feel Dean tremble beneath my palms.

“Fuck, I wish I’d known that sooner,” I chewed on my bottom lip, quickly becoming addicted to the way he writhed at my touch. The way he moaned and gripped my hair tighter when I sucked him back into my mouth was like pure ecstasy, my insides heating up and throbbing with an ache of familiar arousal. Like a thirst that could only be satisfied by him. By tasting him, feeling him on my tongue and drinking in every sound that passed his plush parted lips. The sensation of my glasses slipping down my nose as I sped up my ministrations had me reaching to push them back up, but not before Dean beat me to it. With the rough pad of his thumb he pushed on the plastic bridge, his palm and fingers pressed to my flushed cheek in the most tender, almost heart wrenching caress. I thought my heart might stop when he tilted my face up to his; lustful eyes burning into mine with a vehemence I’d never encountered. I stopped in my tracks, all actions ceased as the spell he’d somehow put me under wouldn’t let me look away. 

“If you keep going like that darlin’ this whole thing is gonna be over before you know it,” his voice was raspy, a rawness to it from the harsh breaths and ragged moans that had been pulled from his throat. He slowly pulled his cock from my spit-slick lips and grasped it loosely, giving himself a few lazy pumps whilst his other hand never left my face. He stared down at me, taking a few moments as though he was committing the sight of me, knelt between his knees with flushed cheeks and swollen lips to memory. Once it seemed that memory was locked away in the depths of his mind, he grasped me by the arm and pulled me effortlessly into his lap, his fingers almost bruising against my skin. Immediately I felt him, in his entirety, press against me with the heat and wetness seeping through my jeans and past my panties. This time when our eyes met, there was a mutual desperation; a need to consume each other and to feel every inch of his heated skin against mine. He pulled me frantically down to him and crashed his lips against mine. 

Some people describe their first kiss with someone like butterflies in their stomach, or fireworks exploding all around them. That wasn’t at all what this was like. Kissing Dean Winchester was different - it was wild and untamed - and describing this experience in such a mundane way would be like adding water to a top-shelf whiskey. Kissing Dean Winchester was like driving the impala at one thirty with the roar of the engine drowning out the rest of the world. It was like trying to ride a wild mustang without a saddle, or daring to stand on the highest peak on Earth with nothing to tie you down. It was exhilarating in the most dangerous way imaginable - and I was now officially a thrill seeker. 

The warm taste of the beer on his tongue and the masculine scent of old leather and cologne was pulling me under. Breathing no longer mattered as long as his mouth was on mine and his fingers were in my hair, now tugging the bobble out and throwing it to the floor. As my hair tumbled free he grabbed under my thighs and stood effortlessly, moving me from his lap to the edge of the table without his lips leaving mine. I winced slightly as the corners and several books and the laptop jabbed into my rear and I fumbled to move everything aside, failing when I refused to unlock our lips. Deans patience was non-existent and with one sweep of his strong arm everything tumbled to the floor - including the laptop. I threw the remaining books from underneath me down to join them, no longer caring for their wellbeing. Before I could pull Dean back in - to allow him to do whatever the fuck he wanted to do to me - he hastily pulled off my boots and tugged down my jeans, throwing every item to the growing pile of chaos beside us. I discarded my sweater and top, but before I let his fingers touch my bra I wanted nothing more than to return the favour. 

“I guess you can forget about that whole ‘never seeing me shirtless’ thing, huh?” he smirked through the sexual fog, not waiting for a reply as his lips hungrily found mine again, his own top falling to the floor. 

“Shut up Winchester. Now are you gonna fuck me or wh- OH FUCK-”

Two thick fingers crept under my panties and plunged into me with zero hesitation, curling up and stroking the sensual cushion deep within my core with skillful precision. 

“Oh yeah? You want me to fuck you?” Even with my face now buried in the crook of his neck, I could hear the smirk in his voice, the tormenting tone going straight to my brain.

“Y-yes- fuck- please,” my knees twitched either side of him, squeezing at his hips with every push of his fingers. I gripped his shoulders tight, nails indenting his skin as I leant back to look at him better. Seeing the beads of sweat on his chest and brow alongside the raw, carnal desire in his eyes could have undone me there and then. He frowned in disapproval when I moved to remove my glasses, the fingers that were just inside me now wrapped forcefully around my wrist.

“What d’ya think you’re doing?” straight away I knew his growling question left no room for negotiation.

“I was just-”

“The glasses stay on.”

“To the end?”

“‘Til I say you can take them off.”

I did as I was told, moving my hand to grip the soft strands on the back of his neck, softly dragging my nails over his scalp and drawing a shiver from his spine and a groan from his lungs. He pulled me against him, crushing his lips against mine one more time. He swiftly pulled away and I leant back on my hands, both of us taking a moment to drink each other in - to bask in lascivious glory. I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth and looked up at him through my lashes, the lenses of my glasses starting to fog around the edges. Another deep moan rumbled from his chest as his heated gaze stayed locked to mine.

“I can’t wait any longer now that you’ve looked at me like that. Fuck.”

With a large hand gripping the soft flesh of my thigh he pulled my underwear to one side and lined himself up, slowly sinking in. Blissful moans harmonised between us, the rawness of him stretching me was unlike anything I’d ever experienced and my quivering thighs wrapped around him, pushing him to the hilt. He secured his large hands on the soft flesh of my hips and held me in place as he slowly withdrew. I could feel him; feel every ridge and vein drag out and then in, out and in, over my most sensitive, intimate, area. The slick sounds of our intimacy  began to echo around the room as he picked up speed, strong thighs working at a feverish pace. With every thrust he pushed against that one spot that made my legs jerk and eyes water, my arms almost giving out underneath me as the table rattled beneath my weight. With the ferocity of his pounding and the heightened sensitivity he’d curated between my legs only moments before, we both knew that neither of us would last long. The sounds of his ragged breaths and throaty moans alone had me clenching around him already, and I know my constricting muscles already had his hips stuttering as I sucked him in with every thrust.

“Fuck (Y/n)- You’re so fuckin’ tight-”

I chewed on my bottom lip as his desperate eyes met mine.

“Oh yeah? Well I feel like you’re cock is in my fucking ribcage- oh fuck-”

He slipped one hand between us, his large palm resting on my lower belly as his thumb drew fast circles around my clit. The immediate contact on my bundle of nerves had my whole body quivering, the knot of an impending climax already starting to twist tighter and tighter in the depths of my core. The way that Dean fucked me into the motel room table was something that I would be able to feel deep in my soul for the rest of my life - my body and entire nervous system having never been worked in such a feral way before. Dean dropped forward and crushed my body into his - one large strong arm wrapped around my trembling body and kept me pressed against him as his head dropped to the crook of my neck. Soft lips pressed hot kisses against my shoulder, teeth gently nibbling the soft flesh as the coil wound and wound, the wave of orgasmic bliss rising higher and higher as my mind emptied, leaving behind only one thought.

Dean.

He was all consuming - all I could see, taste and smell. All I could feel. Oh God could I feel him; driving me to the brink of pure bliss as he frantically sped up - desperate to seek his own undoing as well as my own. One… two… three more fervid thrusts and the peak he’d helped me ascend to shattered around me as I practically screamed his name, the white-hot euphoria scorching my insides as I clamped like a vice around him. 

“Oh shit- (Y/n) I can’t- fuck-”

I grabbed the back of his head and pushed his mouth to mine as he came undone, spilling inside me as he worked through his own white-hot euphoria. 

The kiss we shared evolved from hot and needy to soft and wanting - the sensation of hot cum running down the inside of my thigh and cooling against my skin being the only thing to pull me away. Dean continued to lean over me for a moment, looking down at me with an expression that told me he had so much he wanted to say. Instead, he looked down at his release now starting to pool on the floor beneath us, then to the books and laptop that had been thrown across the floor before turning back to face me with the most devilish grin on his face.

“You know that this mess is all your fault, right?”

I scoffed.

“My fault? How is it my fault?”

“Because, sweetheart…” he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and pushed lightly on the plastic bridge sitting on my nose.

“You put on on those fucking glasses.”

--------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @roseblue373 @hobby27 @calibootsgirl @suckitands33 @jackles010378 @lyarr24 @autistic-gothic @wattpaduser200 @spndeanwinchesterlvr @mxtansy @libby99hb @magssteenkamp @redmaro86 @slut-for-evans-stan @spookyysinsanity @localjisung

[stoopidpigeonxx]

⋆˚｡⋆୨✧୧˚ 𝑶 𝑪𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏, 𝒎𝒚 𝑪𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏. ˚୨✧୧⋆｡˚⋆ (PT. 2)

OKOKOK I MADE THE PART TWO PLS STOP YELLING AT MEEEE

NSFW under the cut. MDNI.

Characters/fandoms: Captain Curly, Mouthwashing Content warnings: Smut, obvi, p in v whatt, curly being a SLOPPYYYYY eater, praise (from you and him), boobs, tits even, curly being 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂, alot of dirty talking, etc. Our boy curlys a bit of perv.

-Manners? What manners?

Curly is a, what do you kids call it... a munch? Yes. If he goes down on you, and he most likely will, he will be SLOPPY with it. I'm talking drooling all over your cunt, licking it from top to bottom, shaking his head side to side and pressing wet kisses to your clit. It's ironic, really, since he's so polite in and out of bed, but he doesn't really care about a mess if it means pleasuring you. What's a little mess? Sheets can be washed.

"Sorry *kiss* about the mess, sweetheart.. *kiss* can't *kiss* help myself."

-Beautiful tits. And rack. Love it.

When asked the question 'ass, tits or thighs,' he's gonna pick tits. He's a titty guy. Sure, your ass and thighs are nice too, and he gives them an equal amount of love, but nothing can beat the feeling of shoving his face into your boobs when he's thrusting in and out of you. It has something to do with hearing your heartbeat and how fast it is, but mostly he just likes suffocating between your twins. And if he's particularly stressed, he'll just set you on his desk and lift your shirt up and go to town. Sucking, squeezing, rubbing, all that. His favorite stress balls. And god forbid the day you get nipple piercings... He's mindlessly playing with the metal with his teeth, enjoying the feeling of the cold brass on his tongue. You'll have to wear bandaids. (which he'll apply, apologizing profusely.)

-Praise me for sin.

Call this man a good boy and he's whining and shaking. It goes both ways with him. He loves getting praised, and he loves praising. A few of his favorites.. "You're doing such a good job." "Look at you, taking everything like a champ." "God, you're gorgeous." "Good girl." "You're so pretty, baby.." "Atta-fuckin-girl." He knows you fold every time for that kind of talk, so he makes sure to say at least one while you're getting naughty. On the other hand, some of his favorites to hear.. "That's a good boy." "Thank you." (Manners.) "I love you so much." "You're too good." "Fuck, that's good." Hearing how good of a job he's doing is only fuel for him to keep going, and gets him hard as a rock. So, use that mouth. (Unless its occupied, wink wink.)

-He babbles when he comes.

When he's right on that edge, he goes a bit dumb. You feel so warm and good, and he's so fucking close, and his brain just loses all ability to form coherent thoughts. So he just mumbles whatever comes out of his mouth in that adorable whiny subby voice. (You know the one.) "Fuuuuck too good too good too good.. baby.. g'na make me come, coming, coming." Or just a chorus of 'yes' over and over. Its really cute because he tries to be quiet with it, but his brain is so broken that he can't control his volume too well. He has to shove his face into your shoulder or a pillow to muffle himself so the crew doesn't overhear.

-Can't stop, won't stop.

Will not give up until you come, no matter how sore his cock is or how cramped his legs are. He wants you to come as many times as possible before the night is over, and he's willing to overwork himself to achieve that. You've told him its okay, but he doesn't really care. Feeling you clench around him and ride out your orgasm is the best thing he's ever felt, so he's gonna have you coming at least 3 times each session. Unless, of course, you're begging him to stop since its too much. He'd never want to hurt you. He'd pull out and lay with you for a while and let your body calm down before starting up again. "Take it easy, angel. I'm right here. It's okay, you're doing so well." (Why does his dirty talk sound like him coaching you through birth?? 😭)

[aur0ral1ghts]

❥ ʟᴏᴠᴇsɪᴄᴋ

ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇ sʟʏᴛʜᴇʀɪɴ ʙᴏʏs ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴍᴀᴛᴛʜᴇᴏ ᴀ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴘᴏᴛɪᴏɴ..

↴

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs; ᴋɪssɪɴɢ. ᴅʀᴜɢɢɪɴɢ. (sʟɪᴘᴘɪɴɢ ᴀ ᴘᴏᴛɪᴏɴ ɪɴ ᴀ ᴅʀɪɴᴋ) sᴡᴇᴀʀ ᴡᴏʀᴅs. ғʟᴜғғ!!

"This is going to be so funny!" Theodore Nott giggles uncontrollably as he pops the cork of a pink vital and pours some into a glass. "Shit, i can't wait until he comes back!" Lorenzo laughs. "Me too." Blaise agrees as Draco nods.

The Slytherin boys were pranking Mattheo. They planned a "hangout" in the common room. They all waited for a whole hour for Mattheo to get up to use the bathroom or to go to his dorm to go fetch something. Then, after what felt like forever, Mattheo excused himself to go to the bathroom. Then, once Mattheo was out of sight, Theodore took a deep breath to control his giggle fit, he took the pink vital out of his pocket, he also took out a strand of your hair that he secretly took from your hairbrush one night while visiting. He poured half the vital into the glass, and then he added the hair. Then mattheo returned. The boys trying to hold in their laughs. After a while, Mattheo took a sip of his drink. The boys are all staring at this point.

"You feeling alright?" Blaise asks. "Uh, I'm feeling fine. Maybe a little warm, but I'm fine." He says, turning red as if he had just realized something. "Do you want to..confess..anything..?" Blaise asks, trying to hold in his laugh. "Yeah..I think..I think I'm in love with Y/n." The boys eyes widen. "Why don't you go to Y/n? I bet she'll love to see you." Mattheo smirks at this. "I should do that.." Mattheo stands up, almost tumbling over a chair. He picks up the cup and takes a long sip. Theo sighs as he takes the cup away from him as he pushes Mattheo gently towards the girls' dormitory.

Mattheo walks up the stairs, his heart racing. When he wasn't under the influence of the potion, he did have feelings for y/n, very strong feelings. But he would never ever dare to confess due to him thinking she would deny and reject his feelings. He didn't want to ruin his friendship with her.

-

I sit on my desk, trying to focus on my homework, an essay for Snape that was due tomorrow. I groan as I hear a knock on the door, I stand up and walk up to it.

I grasp the knob and I see..Mattheo Riddle.

"Um, hi Mattheo? Weren't you hanging out wi-?" Then I get interrupted with Mattheo literally jumping on me, kissing my cheek. "Mattheo!?" I question, pushing him off. I feel my cheeks turn red. "Oh, uhhh, sorry!" He mumbles, looking down at the carpet. "What's up with you!?" I question crossing my arms. "Uh, i came here to confess something." He fidgets with his hands. "Uh, sure." I say, sitting on my bed, motioning him to sit next to me. He does. "So. I'm like in love with you." He says, looking at me. "You.. you do?" I reply. I feel myself blushing again. "Yeah..." He says. "Can I kiss you y/n...please."

My lips part open as I nod. I've always fantasized about him kissing me and other things. Before i have time to react, he slams his lips onto me. Roughly, he grabs my wrists and pins me onto my bed. As I gasp, I can practically feel his smirk on my lips as he runs his free hand through my hair. "Wow." I whisper. He chuckles as he uses his free hand to trace my body, as if it were a piece of art. "You're so beautiful." He says, our foreheads touching, his puppy dog eyes looking up at me. "Thank you." I say in a hushed voice. He nuzzles his face into my neck, kissing it, probably leaving a bunch of hickeys. "Wait, Mattheo, before we do anything else, I'm confused." I say, holding his shoulder. "Confused about what, love?" He asks, laying down close to me. "I dunno, you're just acting werid, like randomly confessing to me.." He doesn't say anything. "Mattheo, have you drinken anything..recently?" I ask. "Well, I took a sip of my drink before I came here."

My eyebrows raise. "What happened once you drank that? Did it taste werid?"

"It tasted sweeter than I remember, then I felt like really warm and fuzzy, and I couldn't stop thinking about you." He smiles, playing with my hair. I then realize what's happening. He's been put under a love potion. I'm guessing his friends slipt it into his drink when he wasn't looking. Luckily, I have the antidote from a previous incident. Once, Pansy got dared to drink a love potion. So I still have some antidote left.

"Mattheo, I'll be back. i need to get something from my bathroom." I say, getting up, but he holds onto me. "Don't leave me, Y/n!" He Frowns. I sigh. It's just realized how lovesick this poor guy is. "Fine, come with me then." I say, the bathroom is literally 10 feet away from my bed. "Okay!" He says, getting up, our hands intertwined.

I walk towards my bathroom, tracing my finger along the drawers until I find the drawer with the antidote. "Mattheo, do you trust me?" I ask. He nods. "Of course i do, love!" I giggle to myself. "Okay, sit on my sink, please." I smile as he sits on my sink. I hold the vital in front of him. I pop the cork. I pour the rest of the antidote down his throat. He groans in pain. "Y/n..i have a headache." He mutters as he holds my hand. "I know, but it'll go away soon." I comfort him.

Then, in a blink, he groans in pain again, "Y/n?" He asks, confused. "Oh, uh Mattheo." I mutter. "What am I doing here?!" He ask, his voice deeper. "Uh, about that." I pause. "Your friends kinda..gave you Amortentia.." I say. He looks to the side as he jumps off my sink. He heads straight to the door. "Mattheo - wait!" I shout, grabbing his hand. He groans. "Did I do anything embarrassing?" He asks, not looking back at me. "Uh, well, you may or may not have jumped onto me and kissed me." I giggle slightly. His face drops. "I didn't mean it - it was that stupid potion." He admits. "I know.."

"Look, I'm going to kill those idiots!" He yells, practically running to the door. I grab his hand again and spin him around, I kiss him. I don't know why I'm doing this, but I am. His eyes are open, but then they close, and he cups my face. "Mattheo-" I whisper. "Never mind, I'll kill them after." He smiles.

-

A/n; hope you enjoyed this! It was so fun to write and lovesick Mattheo is super cute!

[nnight-dances]

PICTURE YOU

PAIRING: karina x fem!reader (reader has periods)

GENRE: fluff, smut (explicit, but not too much?)

TROPES: karina comes back home with a bob and you go crazy essentially. also yeah this is the same universe as CASUAL

LISTEN TO: picture you by chappell roan

NOTE: lol not me breaking the hiatus with this karina fic on a random friday... but come on you can't blame: just look at her!!! actually lost my mind when i saw the new hair reveal like???? have u considered my feelings??? also yea i guess i just associate my karina fics with chappell roan songs now sorry. also also i have been in a crisis once again trying to figure out if i'm bi or just a lesbian so perhaps that is where this fic came from maybe perhaps! anway, pls enjoy <3

in your defence, you were on your period. and you'd been burnt out after the past few weeks straight from hell at college. you'd lost sleep almost every single night and you didn't remember the last time you'd felt the rush of anxiety not be there in your veins. all that to say, you were in a specially fragile mental state when karina came home with a bob. 

at first you didn't even recognize her. you'd looked up from your phone where you'd been mindlessly scrolling to take your mind off the stress and then back down, thinking it was weird that a random chick had entered your room. you'd pinned it to be one of karina's friends but as soon as you said karina's name in your head, your neck snapped back up to look at her: "karina?" 

the girl burst into laughter at your shocked exclamation, the ends of her hair hitting her neck. "yes, it's me, jagiya. did you not recognize me?" she's still laughing but you feel something like a fainting spell coming on, with the way your vision blurs and your heartbeat threatens to explode. 

"jagiya?" karina's voice is speckled with doubt now, crossing your shared room to stand closer to your bedside where you lay. her cold fingertips greeted your bare shoulder, "do you not like it?" 

you can't speak for the longest time, just staring back at your girlfriend in utter shock. karina is starting to interpret your silent shock as horror when you finally break the stillness, hand on her jaw bringing her lips to your hungry ones. you devour her, lips overpowering hers as you slip your tongue into her mouth with the kind of force that has karina gasping. 

it is her hand at your chest that stops the kiss, her eyes wide with flustered amusement. "i'm guessing that means you like it?" 

"rina," your voice is a whisper, so drenched in longing that it surprises your own ears, "you're divine. i don't i can handle this." you feel weak all of a sudden, falling to your pillow with a huff, but eyes never leaving karina.

"i'm sorry i didn't think a haircut would get you this worked up," karina laughs, climbing up your bed, shuffling into the space between your legs. "but i'm not complaining. you've never kissed me like a starving woman before."

you groan, "don't tease me. i'm just– look, you're already like the hottest person on this campus and if that wasn't enough of a nightmare, you've gone and gotten yourself a bob. now i'm gonna have to fight off the bitches who didn't know you were gay!" 

"did you just say nightmare–"

"yes. i have to live knowing that i've outdone myself with my very first college girlfriend. i'll never reach these heights again."

karina runs a hand through your hair with a smile, "who says you won't always have me?"

you give her an incredulous look, "really? with this bob, it'll only be hours before there's a line of lesbians outside our door begging for your number."

"well, that's too bad," her hand's found its way up your shirt somehow, "i'm taken."

you hum an acknowledgement. then, you sit up to face her, cupping her face in your hands. slowly, you kiss her. longingly. fiercely. 

you pull away to rest your forehead against her, your hand busy exploring the new form of her hair. it's thrilling, the way you can access her neck so much easier. your fingertips rest at her strong shoulder and your lips trail their path, lingering at the valley between her jaw and her throat. you place a soft kiss there and then feeling the tremble of her nervous breath, you go in with more bite, leaving a mark. 

you feel karina's hand clutching at the material of your shirt, the squeezing a pleasant reminder of the way you were making her feel. "i might just be the luckiest girl to exist," you mumble, making your way down to her collarbones. karina's response is a guttural moan, her hand against your waist pushing you closer to her chest now. 

"mhm, there's one way to shoo your fangirls away," you chuckle, admiring the patchwork of blooming bruises on karina's neck. she's flushed, and even better, speechless. 

"you're killing me, y/n," karina whines, clawing at your shirt to take it off. you shake your head, stopping her movements. 

"no, you're the one that's killing me," you complain, lifting karina's tank top before she can protest. "let me at least show you how you make me feel." 

you really do devour karina that afternoon: her toned body spread over your sheets like a dream that you couldn't afford. but it was real. you know because you took your time with her, touching and feeling every inch of her warm body flush against yours: the little hairs on her skin dancing against your hot touch, and the veins running hot to greet your touch. 

you've just traversed the landscape of her abdomen when she sits up, eyes blown out with pleasure. "y/n, i think i'm gonna pass out if you keep at it." 

you look up from between her legs with a grin, "really? then you've just started to understand how i feel–" 

before you can continue your adminstrations, she tugs you up, lips beckoning yours. "let me eat you out," she pleads softly as she pulls away from the kiss. and you relish in the sound of her begging you to let her please you, the actual goddess in between your arms. 

"as much as i'd love that," you peck her nose, "'m on my period, babe."

"you know i don't care," she starts and then shivers when your hands find the hem of her panties. 

"don't worry 'bout me, rina," you assure her, "let me make you feel good today, 'kay?" she nods, coming apart so easily while you talk her through it, showering her with praises like there was no end to it. and you'd do it for the rest of your life. watching karina's skin pulse under your touch and the way her eyes were hooded by her short hair, in the end it was always worth it. 

[lwyikas]

How you get the girl ft Iwaizumi Hajime

"Tell me"

"Get out of here"

"I'm not leaving until you tell me," he says firmly, his voice shaking. Standing by the lamppost opposite your house, staring at you, the phone to his ear, hair plastered to his forehead from the rain, his clothes soaking wet.

"You're going to get sick, please go," you say worriedly. Well, you're really mad at him, but of course, you care about him like crazy. The last thing you want is for him to get sick.

"don't give a fuck, I'm here until I hear what I want to hear '" his voice comes out scratchy, probably raindrops on his speakers.You hate his stubborn ass, standing there like a ghost.

"I will throw all my cuddly toys at your head, hope you have a helmet."

"please join them"He'll have a stifled laugh, followed by a dry cough. He'll definitely have sick. You don't want to torture him, but you have to keep your cool. He can't get used to making amends like this every time.

"You can stand there until morning, you won't get what you want"You're determined, but your heart aches. You wonder if you should risk taking a towel to him without your family hear.

"Tell me you love me"

"don't command me"

"It is not command, I'm begging." He sounds like he's about to cry. You're about to cry too. You need to yell at him through the window and get your anger out. Maybe this bullshit will stop, but you don't want to wake up the whole neighborhood.

"You haven't lost your feelings for me, have you? "The drop in his voice is heartbreaking. You want to slap yourself.

"Don't be silly, I'm just angry and hurt, now get lost, "you quickly point out. You don't want him to think like that, you're just as stubborn as he is.

"I broke your heart and I'm not going to any hell until I make it up."His voice gets louder. Of course, he'll give up, you say to yourself.

"How long are you going to wait there? "he can sense the anger in your voice now. Of course, you don't want him to go, and you're enjoying this secretly, but this idiot is going to get hypothermia.

"I can wait forever, just say magic word" it's all guilt psychology, you look at the clock on the desk. 01.14. Fuck it. "Then wait," you huff and end call, close the curtains and lay down on your bed. You're not cold-hearted, but last argument was close to the end of the line.

You try to sleep with your eyes closed.

Just sleep,but it's cold.

Just sleep, just sleep, he'll get bored and go ,but he loves you so much and you know it.

You check time again. 20 minutes have passed. You can't help being curious and open the curtain and have a look. No way.

You call him and he answers immediately. "are you insane!?" "Yes, I've lost my mind" He grins as he sits down on pavement. Your anger and stubbornness are replaced by a smile. Yeah, you wish at least he'd brought an umbrella or something.

"Do your parents know you're here?"

"No but its okay, when it comes to you, they tolerate me" he has a grin on his face, he knows he's about to win, or has already won. Instead of answering, you just smile. "I'm so sorry for being a thoughtless and tactless jerk, I'm so sorry for breaking your heart and hurting you, I hate myself"

"Hajime…" it's like a rollercoaster and you never knew you could feel so many things, so many emotions at the same time.

"Don't even try, I said I won't go unt-"

"I love you so much," he pauses and smiles. But it's not a selfish and smug 'I won, I got what I wanted' smile, it's an 'I love you so much too' smile.

and that's how it works

"Thank you beautiful, sleep well", he waves goodbye to leave, but you object, 'No, wait, I'm coming to give towel and clothes, you look awful'.

"No, don' t come it's cold, I'm fine" and he coughs a few more times. Of course, you won't listen to him and he knows you won't.As you slowly descend the stairs and silently open the door, you will see him. Oh, that idiot, he immediately gives you a big hug. He may be freezing, but his touch is enough to warm you. You lay your head on his chest. You ask while he caresses your hair:

"Why are you so persistent?"

"You're worth this."

That's how he gets the girl.

[rinsoap]

SONGS THEY LOVE TO MAKE OUT TO!

✿²˖ ࣪ ➣ includes : suna rintaro. iwaizumi hajime. atsumu miya.

note : me after incorporating my music hyperfixation into all my works. also can u tell im so obsessed with all of these men's arms n hands.

SUNA RINTARO: REDBONE BY CHILDISH GAMBINO

makeouts with suna are always distracting you. this night was no different except for the fact that you're on the floor. well, you're sittting on the rug beside his bed that's pushed up to the wall. he's sitting against it, and you're in his lap facing him. you're on your phone, not paying attention to the boy directly in front of you, too busy trying to instruct one of your project partners on how to use microsoft. suna is not usually jealous. who cares if someone's into you? it's not like they have a chance. you never entertain them anyways. he just misses you. he was out of the city for a week for an away game, and he's hardly kissed you since he left. he's had awaken, my love! by childish gambino playing for a while now, head lolling back on the bed, bored out of his mind. "babyyyy" he hums in complaint after you giggle at your phone. "hold on rin, i'm almost done... god these people are so stupid, i swear i'm literally carrying this project" you roll your eyes as your fingers fly across the screen, the tapping filling the silence until your boyfriend groans and brings his head up to look at your pretty face. the intro of redbone kicks in, and his mind starts racing, thinking about all the times he's kissed your lips to this song. his hand snakes around your waist, and you feel his thumb start tracing hearts into your skin. "you're too pretty to be worrying about school," suna pouts, "you should pay attention to... other things..." his suspicious trail off causing your eyes to flick to his face, but before you could find his eye contact, he was planting kisses onto your neck. "rin," you whine, winding up to tell him off, but he makes his way up to your jaw, grinning against your cheek when you catch his eye. "rin i can't..." you sigh, incredibly receptive to his touch despite your words, dropping your phone still open on your messages to wrap your arms around his shoulders. "you just look so beautiful, can’t stop myself," he mumbles before pressing his lips against yours, hands making their way to hold the dip between your jaw and neck. you lean into his desperate kiss, and when your fingers carress the nape of his neck, you feel him smile. "missed you so much baby"

IWAIZUMI HAJIME: NIGHTS BY FRANK OCEAN

makeouts with iwaizumi always start out polite. it's always just one kiss, something casual, until he starts getting needier. you had dragged your boyfriend into another late afternoon nap, him shirtless, and you wearing one of his faded graphic t-shirts. you're woken by the sunlight beaming through iwaizumi's ineffective blinds. his arm is lazily holding you and he's laying on his stomach, you're on your back. you place your hand on his forearm and hum along to the end of hold on by the internet. you had forgotten you put on a playlist. you hear iwaizumi grunt and you giggle. "you awake finally?" he teases, turning on his side to face you and you do the same. "take a guess, genius" you quip back and he tsks. he doesn't say anything though, chest to chest and noses touching, he just stares into your eyes. sometimes he wakes up with you next to him and he is baffled at how he managed to pull someone as gorgeous as you. his eyes only break from yours to flick to your lips, and you can tell he's trying to be discreet by the way they immediately dart back. the song changes, and you both smile at each other knowingly. you were about to exclaim that he should just kiss you, but he interrupts that thought to oblige, and your face goes hot. his kisses still gave you butterflies despite being with him for so long. you kiss him back, matching the way he deepens it, hands over your hips as he pulls you onto him. you gasp at the sudden nature of it, and he grins against your mouth. you break free and move your hands from the sides of his face to his bare chest, but he pulls you closer to kiss up your shoulder and your collarbones and ultimately brings you back to kiss him. as the beat switches, his strong arms hold you tighter, closing whatever distance the two of you might have had before. he groans in your mouth when your hands tangle in his hair, tugging on it slightly when he quietly mumbles, "i love you". he could kiss you all day if he could, and he acts like it.

MIYA ATSUMU: ONE NIGHT ONLY BY SONDER

makeouts with atsumu are intense and frequent. he loves pda, he's the type of guy to use any excuse to show off his girl, and is that such a crime?! he needs to stop kissing you at parties though, i fear you've become that couple. you were both a little tipsy, and when atsumu drinks, he can't take his hands off of you. so when he started kissing on your neck, you rushed him to the bathroom to avert everyone's eyes from the pda. you shut the door behind you, and atsumu quickly takes the opportunity to close the distance between you two until he had you pressed against the door. "oh, hey," you say with a sarcastic smirk that he matches. "hi baby," he bites his lip, looking you up and down and then back to your eyes, "you look so fucking good... i couldn't stop looking at ya, princess" he knows he's not subtle. your heart beats to the bass of the song playing through the door as he cups your cheeks in his big hands. he leans in to kiss you fervently, leaving you breathless and almost as needy as him. his hands thread through your hair and yours do the same as he nips at your lips playfully. you giggle and he pulls back just enough to speak, resting his forehead on yours. "you're so perfect" is all he says before he starts peppering you face and neck with soft kisses, working his way up back to your lips to capture you in a kiss much more intense comparatively. his hands roam your back, and you melt into his touch as the two of you intertwine. the world fades away, it's just you and him and the song. "hey are y'all done in there or what?" osamu knocks irritably, gladly interrupting you much to both of your displeasure. you laugh, and atsumu rolls his eyes. "yeah yeah whatever," he calls out, planting one last kiss on your cheek before you drag him out of the bathroom, "this will be continued later, promise you baby" he's so corny

[dilfluvrgirllxoxo]

post mission arguments and make-ups - j.f.w

pairing: john f. walker x reader (i'm tired of hiding my truth he's been fine since tfatws)

warnings: angst!! grumpy x sunshine trope because i can't help myself, teeny bit of smut at the end, mostly just fluff, john is lowkey a little out of character but its okay, petnames (sweetheart, honey), no use of y/n + no reader descriptions, not proofread!

‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿

the car ride back from the mission was silent except for the occasional conversation between ava and yelena. as soon as the car was parked, you got out and slammed the door harder than you meant to, walking away, not caring if john was following behind you.

kicking off your boots and tossing your bag onto the floor, you trudged over to the kitchen, pouring yourself a drink as the others scattered off to their rooms. not john though, no. he decided he just had to come and be a pain in your ass...again.

he stood against the doorframe, jaw clenched, face dark and his arms crossed tightly against his chest, like a parent ready to chastise their child.

"you always do that," he snapped after a long moment of silence, his voice sharp.

you froze, turning around to face him with a sigh. “do what, john?”

“do missions without us, without backup. going in first, acting like you’re invincible, like you don’t need anyone. it’s reckless."

“so now i'm the problem? i can handle myself john, i'm not on this team for nothing!”

his eyes narrowed, his hands clenching into fists as he stepped closer to you. “i'm trying to keep people alive, including you, including the rest of the team.”

“you're not in the goddamn army anymore john, stop acting like you can boss us around!” you yelled, knowing that was a low blow by the way his shoulders tensed.

“you don't get it. you want to get yourself killed by being foolish? be my damn guest!" he hissed, his fist coming down on the table next to him and you flinched—he saw it, and instantly regretted what he'd done, but his cold, dismissive words were out now, no going back.

“right. yeah.” you said, voice cracking. “got it.” you practically scurried away, walking into the bedroom and slamming the door, on purpose this time.

you lay on the bed for what felt like hours, letting your tears fall, not even turning your head when you heard the door open and john stepping inside cautiously. “hey honey.” you didn’t answer.

he walked closer, voice lower now as he sat on the edge of where you lay on the bed, sighing as he thought about what to say. he wasn't good with the whole 'letting your guard down' thing. “i shouldn’t have said that. any of it.” still nothing from you, making him shuffle closer and take your hand in his.

“i...was scared,” he admitted, and that word seemed to make him flinch, like he'd never said it in his life. “i thought you were in danger, and i—i panicked and then i lashed out at you.”

you turned on your back, finally meeting his eyes as you tilted your head. “it made me feel like you didn't care about me and it hurt, john.”

john’s normally stoic expression broke, just slightly, into a softer one, one only you ever got to see.

“i know,” he said. “but you’re the only person who makes me feel like i’m worth something, i do care about you, more than anything. i just wanted to make sure you didn't get hurt, and i ended up hurting you. i’m...i'm sorry.” he whispered the last words, not knowing how to feel. he never apologised. god, you were softening him up too much.

"i want to fix this, let me make it up t' you honey." he murmured, his voice gentler than you'd ever heard it be as he shuffled onto the bed fully, his arms at either side of you as he hovered above you. "cmon honey, wanna make this right, show y' how sorry i am."

you paused for a minute, tears now drying on your cheeks as you looked up at him and nodded, whispering a faint, “kay.” which was all the confirmation he needed as he nodded slowly, rough, calloused hands coming up to cup your cheeks with surprising gentleness, his mouth on yours before you even had time to think, the strength of the kiss making your head spin, barely registering his words when he finally pulled away breathlessly, tugging at the waistband of your trousers.

"want y' to sit on my face sweetheart, need t' taste you." he drawled, his request making your breath hitch as you stood up to peel your trousers off quickly, his hands grabbing your waist and easily manhandling you back onto the bed as soon as you were done.

safe to say, you'd soon forgiven him.

‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿

[sexilene]

omg lene you should do something about a 80's slashers au with rafe and the boys that would be soooo cool!! ❤️❤️

!!! omigod yesss i'm gonna start with 80's slasher!rafe if feel like he'd be a creepy little stalkerrr, def season 2 rafe 💞

𐦍༘₊ ⊹ warnings! 18+ - non con, violence, stalking, spanking, slight breeding kink, knife play, dark!rafe - ₊˚⊹

you sat in the comfort of your bedroom, bathed in the soft glow of lamplight, finishing up some homework while talking with a girlfriend of yours on the phone. you reach your hand out to your nightstand to grab the nail file when the sound of the door closing causes you to freeze, being left home alone, your heart starts to race, and you hang up the phone and walk up to your door. you pull down your pretty little white nightgown so it covers your ass as you press your ear to the door to make sure it was just your parents.

all you hear is silence so you shrug and convince yourself it was just your mind playing tricks on you, then the phone starts to ring again, thinking it was just your friend calling you back, and you pick up the phone. 

"hello?" you speak with your voice lowered.

"hey babyface" you stop moving when you hear a voice you don't recognize.

"who's calling?" you try to sound assertive but end up sounding like a scared puppy. 

"i've been uh- watching you for a long time, an' i figured i should introduce myself," he says, his voice all gravely. you grip on the handle of the phone and reach an arm over to close your curtains quickly.

"stop that! it's not funny, whoever this is leave me alone." you almost whine. 

"nah can't do that baby, you looked too pretty in that nightgown...you wearin' panties underneath?" he continues. 

"i'm gonna call my boyfriend an-and he'll find out who you are and beat you up!" you stutter.

"you're not gonna do that, cuz uh- i'm in the house, and if you hang up-"

"i'll call the police!" you cut him off.

"i need you to listen to me, if you don't wanna die, you need to walk down to the living room slowly- you try to run and i'll catch you. if you don't come down, i'll go up n'get you." he then hangs up, your chest heaving as tears start to form in your eyes, you think about climbing out the window but it is on the second floor and the man might catch you and kill you! you decide to grab a chair to put against the door to keep him coming in but it's too late, as you take one step backward trying to drag the chair you feel the blade of a knife press against your neck. you gasp, ready to scream.

"shshshsh, behave." the man shushes you, pressing himself behind you, god he must be tall. "told you to listen" he coos condescendingly. 

"please, please don't..." you sob. 

"hey, hey! shut up- listen to me alright?" he raises his voice causing you to shut your eyes and nod slowly in fear, tears spill down your face. "good girl. want you to lay down on your bed and stay there, don't move, scream, talk or do anything 'less i tell you." you nod again slowly and he removes the knife from your neck, you do as you are told and lay down on your bed, silently sobbing. 

you look at the man, face now lit up by the soft light of your nightstand lamp, you watch him come closer and wipe some of the sweat forming on his forehead under his messy hair with the back of his hand that's holding the knife. he grins, getting up on your bed and tossing the knife next to him as he pins you down. 

"r-rafe?..." you whisper, now realizing who it is.

"yeah! yeah baby it's me..." he continues to grin. 

"get off! please rafe, i don't wanna do this with you!" you whine and start to squirm a little bit.

"you don't really have a choice." he mumbles as he runs his rough hands up and down your thighs, stopping to grab the hem of your lace panties. "you wear this for me?" he says pulling them down as you really start to cry, trying to get him off of you by pushing at his shoulders but he's too strong.

"i have a- my boyfriend-" you start but then he looks back into your eyes and smiles again. "nah, you don't, i got rid of 'im... cut him up, he's in the trunk of my truck. wanna see?" he asks, his eyes following yours, bringing his hand up to wipe your tears away lovingly. 

"why!? why are you doing this!" you sob and try and move your face away from his touch. "i love you, i love you so much and you never talked to me or...looked at me and i need you to love me too…say it…" he demands. you shake your head no and try and push him off, pissed, rafe manhandles you. he flips you onto your stomach and lifts you up by your waist so your face is smushed against the messy sheets, ass in the air. "you fucking brat." he spits out.

he yanks your panties down and smacks your ass with his large hand, holding your wrists in the other. he forcefully spreads your legs and places a hard slap on your poor wet little cunt.

you let out a yelp as he "soothes" your throbbing pussy by rubbing your clit with the rough pads of three fingers. "are you a virgin princess?" he whispers, pressing a gross, sloppy kiss to your cheek. you whine out and try to move your face away. "what? you don't like my kisses?" he leans in again to give you a few more of those wet kisses, making taunting kissy sounds that make you scrunch up your face and mewl.

"gonna make you feel reeeally good baby, gonna make this little pussy cream all over me, yeah?" he rambles, grabbing the knife with his free hand, bringing it back to your neck. "please rafe, i've never- "

"you waited for me? huh? princess saved herself for me." you can hear his smile, he's almost relieved that he will be your first and last. he pulls himself out of his boxers and starts to line himself up. "i would'a stretched you out a bit first but this cunt is a dripping mess already so."

you scream as you feel his fat tip press against your entrance. "shhhhshh, s'just the tip." he murmurs, easing himself in slowly until he's stretching you as you've never felt, his tip kisses your cervix. "ow! it's too big, too much, too big..." you ramble, squeezing down on his cock unable to really move due to the knife.

"n'you are so tight, fuck, this is where you should'a always been..taking me like this babydoll." he grits through his teeth as he starts to thrust causing you to whine and to try and pull your hands away from his grip.

"keep cryin', it's only making me harder princess," he grunts, tears continue to stream down your face. he pounds into you now hard and fast, you wish you could grab onto his shoulders or hair as he starts to hit that sweet spot.

"stop it! rafeeee" you whine, he shushes you by tossing the knife on the bed again and covering your mouth with his hand as he continues his assault on your cunt. "i should cum in you, knock you up so you won't ever be able to leave me." he breathes out, he lets go of your face and wraps that hand around your neck to bring you up to kiss your neck. "no! no no please pull out! please rafe!" you cry.

he lets go of your neck and throws you back down you your face hits the mattress again, he lets go of your wrists so you are now gripping your sheets. "you know that's the knife i used to stab your boyfriend? he begged like a little bitch. he didn't deserve you." he reaches a hand around to grab your pussy and pull you closer to him, then rubbing your throbbing clit.

"m'na cummm" you mewl, body giving into how he's touching you so roughly yet gently.

"i know baby, give it to me, all over my cock c'mon" he encourages with that tone, and feeling him so deep in you and hitting that spot your body goes numb. shutting your eyes tightly as hot white explodes in you making you feel like you are on a roller-coaster.

he grips your waist and with the other hand, he's lovingly brushing back your messy baby hairs due to your sweaty forehead. "atta girl, thereee, see? i knew you could be good for me." he thrusts once more hard and deep, shooting his thick hot load all up in you causing you to whine at the feeling and making him groan.

he pulls out of you, sticking his two fingers into your pussy to push his cum back in, then leaning in to bite your ass. you let out a little scream, he flips you on your back and grabs the knife, gripping your thigh he brings the knife over to carve a little RC into the meat of your thigh. you try not to thrash around but you do let out another little scream at the pain.

"yer' all mine now kid." he smiles, exhaustion taking over as you let out shaky breaths and let him lean in to press icky kiss to your lips. ᥫ᭡

[bunnibaby-love]

🍎 Losing your virginity to Caleb 🍎

♡ female reader + nsfw + vanilla

You wanted your cherry to be pop! and crave some experience for the plot and fun and who else is better choice than your hot friend?

You sat next to Caleb as he helps you out review for your finals. Usually you are spacing out as you wanna doze off but this time, your twinkling eyes are set on your friends hands. He has long fingers and veiny hands! no one won't drool at the sight right?

"What about this again Caleb?" you purposely press your chest against his biceps as you lean on him to point out a random equation

"It's just calculus silly" he chuckled and you frown as it looks like your tits squeezing on his bicep has no effect on him. No way! It can't be!

You tried to remember all the stuff from the fanfics you been reading to make advances "I can barely see here can i just..." you giggle to yourself as you position yourself on Caleb lap

"...Damn.." You shivered as you feel Caleb minty breath as he chuckled on your neck "What's with you today? You're like...a cat"

You laugh at the comparison "meow...." you giggle as you tease him that he just laugh it off and continue teaching you

Caleb is a good tutor but now, all you wanted is to have your brains fucked out so nothing is going on your head

You pouted cause you also have to focus learning since finals is coming but you just buried your head on his neck. Caleb smile cause you clearly showing signs of not getting the topic

"Whats with you today pips? are you hungry? want me to get you some bunny apples? or sleepy? you can sleep for now then ill come back tommorrow to teach you"

You instantly grab his biceps so he wont leave your side "No uh im fine just...stuff going on my head..." he gave you a look that saying 'you know you can tell me anything'

Unable to resist his puppy eyes, you admit to him whats's bothering you for few days now "I just...um i don't wanna be virgin anymore! Girls my age have experience and i don't"

Caleb was shocked for few seconds. "What the...!" He sighs "Pipsqueak...don't...don't feel bad for being a virgin...it's okay and don't rush it and never give it to someone random just cause you want experience" He said while rubbing his temple

"Is it fine if i lose it to you then? you're not a random stranger" Now you're determined and gave him a cute pout

"Are you out of your mind now pips? you're gonna regret this" Caleb said sternly. He wanted you as well but he's doesn't want it more if he ever did something that would you make you uncomfortable if ever in the future so he just averted his gaze on you

"I won't since it's you Caleb" You press kisses on his neck "Whenever i tried touching myself i think of you..." Caleb is now as red as apples and whimpers before trying to pull you away but seems like all his strenght is gone. He's so weak with you

He look at you in the eyes "If i start...i don't think i'll be able to held back" He cupped your cheeks

"I'm sure Caleb...please..." after muttering a cursed word, Caleb kissed you but he can't help but smile when you clearly don't know how to kiss

"Just follow my lips baby..." he fixed your position so you're seated between his thighs as you get lose trying to mimic is lips

His lips travel down to your cheeks, jaw, throat and finally your neck "Can i leave a hickey please...? i promise it's where you can easily hide..." you whimper and nod making Caleb leave you a hickey behind your ear

You started unbottoning your blouse and Caleb stop you "Let me..." He whisper on your ear before laying on your bed. He didn't stop kissing your body while unbottoning your blouse and everytime he opens your body after buttons, he would kiss that part

He throws your blouse at floor and hold your bra "Can i?" You let out a hum and Caleb unbuckled your bra "So pretty..."

"Oh..! that's...cold?" You moan as Caleb immediently latch his tongue and lips on your nipples. He swirl it with his tongue before catching it with his lips then suckled making you moan and arch your back

You grip his hair as his kissed goes deeper to your abdomen till his face is infront or you pants. He use is teeth to bring the zipper down and you wiggle you hips and legs so your pants can take off easily

"Can i baby?" He whisper on your cunt covered with your panties and you hum with desperation "Words pipsqueak. I need your words hmm?"

"Yes...Yes Caleb please...?" Caleb smile as he sniff you and licked you through your panties for a minute. He got enough of your desperate moans and whimpers when he finally take off your panties

"Gonna strech you out first..." He licked his 2 fingers infront you making you bite your lips with how sexy he looks "This is gonna sting baby..." He kissed you deeply on lips again then slowly insert his one finger

"Mhm sorry..sorry...you're a good girl yeah?" He whisper between kisses while fingering you then, he added another finger "Go on baby you can cum...hmm? want you wet and messy mhm yes babygirl..."

This experience is nothing compare to all the experince you heard or the fanfics you read. You're losing your mind with how hot Caleb is making you feel right now and finally you orgasm

"Good fucking girl..." Caleb kissed your cheeks. You closed your eyes for few seconds after your first orgasm and when you open your eyes, you saw Caleb all naked and his big dick is infront of you

"Want a taste hmm?" he smirk as he tease you but you just smile and quickly sit up to reach his cock. You immedietly suck him but pulls away when you feel like choking

"Are you alright pips?" you nod but still pout. You're so inexperience with this you feel embrassed but Caleb just kissed your head

"I wanna feel your hot mouth around me but fuck baby...i just wanna be inside you..." You goes back to laying in bed and open your legs with hazy eyes

Caleb quickly puts on a condom and you tried taking it away "Caleb just go raw...i think it would feel better!"

Caleb has to close his eyes and looks up. This naughty girl! "Sure pips going bareback on your wet cunt would feel amazing but we're not risking kay?" He rest his forehead on yours "I'm going in hmm? Scratch my back when it's too painful for you" He encircle your hands on his nape

You wince in pain and can't help but scratch Caleb back and shoulder while he burries himself on you. He kiss your face and lick your tears till he's deep inside you "Tell me when you're okay...then i'll move"

You breath is heavy and Caleb is patient. He keeps kissing your face and caressing your body till you give a signal "Mhm move now Caleb..."

He gave you a peck on lips before burrying his face on your neck as he started to thrust. It's still painful but the pleasure is building up

Both you and Caleb are moaning so loud as his thrusts gets more faster, deeper and desperate "Ah...Caleb...gonna cum...gonna cum...."

Caleb pinned your hands on the sheets and encircling it with his "I'm here baby...go on be a good girl...ha...." He flickers your clit that made your back arch

You moan loudy as you let out another orgasm as you cum while he's still thrusting deep on you

"Ah...atta girl..fuck..." Caleb pulls out and removes his condom before pumping his dick and cums in your stomach "Mhm...that's sexy"

You smile and Caleb lay beside you. He pulls you close to him that you're almost on top of him. He kissed your head before sleep took you over

You wake up when morning comes all clean. You're wearing Caleb shirt and the bedsheets are new.

"Good morning pips" Caleb enters the room with a tray of breakfast "Eat up.."

"Thanks Caleb..." you smile as you enjoy your breakfast in bed while Caleb is sitting beside you and combing your hair

You sat on his lap so you're more comfortable and feel something on your butt "You know Caleb...i'm craving something other than these amazing pancakes of yours"

Oh Caleb now have to deal with your naughtines more!

sorry for grammar errors! i'm so sleepy when i wrote this! T.T

[adelina-shifts]

i need you to know i just shifted

theres no calm way to explain this.

it freaked me out.

as soon as i realized.

i wasn't excited i was fucking terrified.

now, the thing is, i saw this video on youtube, and there was this one method i thought i would try out.

basically, all i did was tell myself i was going to shift to a reality just like my current one, only my curtains are going to be pink.

i was in and out of sleep or whatever (i don't remember) but there was a flash of light and then my eyes shot open because a siren passed by me. they were police sirens–now this shit pulled me out of whatever dream/sleep thing was going on and i was pissed, but then i glanced at my bookshelves.

of course, first i looked at my curtains–were they pink? no, but when my eyes landed on my bookshelves (for reference i have 3 directly at the foot of my bed, with a little walk space in the middle.

there was something off, first i thought the last one look way skinnier than the first two, so that was freaking me out, i was trying to calm myself down (it took a while). i wear glasses, so looking at the shelves, i thought it was because it was dark and i couldn't see that they were wobbly, like, the corners were blurry (if that makes sense).

eventually i grabbed my phone and turned on the flash to get a better look. the bookshelf looked so weird, in fact my entire room just felt off. theres a space between the shelves for aesthetic purposes, but the last one is bigger because theres an outlet there.

i stepped in between the shelves and nearly shat myself, because there was a graduation lay with money attached to it. i was sure i had spent all the money on the lay when we got it (it was only $3 but still).

this is when i knew that i wasn't here–i was there. i went to explore the rest of the house, looking for anything that looked different. there wasn't much else–just one thing, my shoes.

i have a pair of hightop converse, typically they are shoved into a little shelf beneath the television, this time they were not and placed in the little rack near the door, alright acceptable, could be mom just put them somewhere else.

but then, walking back to my room, mom dropped her phone and my heart dropped. she asked me to pick it up, so i did, she asks why it's so hot, i tell her the air is off–which is weird because only i turn it off.

i hear my brother, he's awake in his room so i ask him if he turned it off, he says no, i ask him again and to stop messing with me, seriously did he turn it off? he said no, now i'm like, wtf because i know for a fact that my mother had turned the air on and i didn't turn it off and she was asleep.

whatever, i turn it on and go to my room. i look around. no. no there's something off about this fucking room. this is not my room–i mean it is–but it's not.

alright, theres only one way to be certain, yeah? i say my safe word, though it's a phrase really.

i lay back on my bed and say it. i do not close my eyes, but the second it leave my mouth, i feel a surge of energy and then like that it's gone.

a second later a car vrooms past and i realize i hadn't heard a car pass, nor had the upstairs neighbors annoyed me with their ruckas, nor had i got a notification from my online friends, which i get nearly all night because we live in separate timezones.

so now i'm sitting there, trying to figure out if i'd heard anything other than my brother in his room before i said my safe-word/phrase. i didn't i didn't. i just didn't.

now again, you could say this was all a coincidence. but i have this thing with loud nosies. i can't stand them, they're annoying and the cars that go back and forth throughout the night/day never fail to irritate me, i've woken out of my sleep to go upstairs and bang on my neighbors door to keep it the fuck down.

i have turned off my notifications because i get irritated easily if they keep pining.

perhaps i was caught up in the moment, the thought process of "have i shifted, if i have what's different?" but i can't shake the feeling of that room, nor of the way i was awoken by the sound of a loud ass siren, only to hear nothing else after that besides my brother–then to start hearing things once again after i say my safe word/phrase.

please let me know what you think, for me, i believe i was terrified at first because my mother and my brother are people i know in this reality, the potential of seeing them in another for the first time threw me so off guard, i don't know why i didn't think they'd be there when i asked for everything to be exactly the same.

[heartavenue]

Things I Wished Someone Told Me Before I Shifted

The first time I shifted was back in 2021, at the height of the misinformation era, and quite frankly, I'm surprised that I even did it. I was sitting in the starfish position not moving, not swallowing my spit or anything! But nonetheless I did it, and I wanna help other people do it too!

1. Don't Compare Journeys

I know this has been said time and time again but there is a reason for that. I don't know about y'all but when I first found out about shifting I was ecstatic! As soon as I heard about I laid down in my bed and did the raven method the same night, so needless to say there is nothing more that I wanted than to live this reality.

I remember frantically scrolling on TikTok searching for methods that caused other people to shift. The disappointment washed over me when I used the same method as @/shiftingwithkatz (this is not a real person I am using this for storytelling purposes) and didn't yield the same results.

I woke up night after night, with my head in my hands and tears running down my face. "Why can't I do it?" "What am I doing wrong?" I would repeatedly ask myself.

I said all of that to say this: Everyone's journey is unique. I like to think of shifters as snowflakes; no two are the same. We often put a time frame on our shifting journey, but you don't have to be in a rush.

Don't try and be like someone else, do what works for YOU! For instance, I hate hate hate HATE guided mediations so why on Earth would I shift that way? All because I saw someone else say that they did? Fuck that. Make this shifting journey YOURS!

2. Shifting Is NOT Physical

God, I wish someone would have told me this. Shifting is not physical! Turn that into an affirmation, write it down, make a subliminal, do whatever you have to do to drill that into your brain! Stop waiting for your surroundings to change, to smell your scripted scent, or to feel a tap from your favorite person.

It all starts up here *for reference I am pointing to my head.* Imagination is the TRUE reality, it is all you need. Disregard the physical, who cares about your senses. If you assumed that you shifted, then you have shifted. End of story.

3. Time Isn't Real So You're Not Running Out Of It

This right here. I remember when I first started my journey, I felt like I was in a basketball game and my team was down by one point and there were only fifteen seconds on the clock. I couldn't wait for the clock to strike at 9:00pm so I could lay down and do my method, just to wake up to be disappointed again.

But I'm hear to say this, relax. Time is not real so there is no clock, you don't have to shift within a couple of hours days, or weeks. None of that matters; besides shifting is INSTANT anyway! Decide that you have and boom! Time quickly becomes a nonfactor.

4. Shifting = Manifesting

As you all know by now I practice the Law of Assumption, and boy did life get easier when I bridged the gap between the two. Shifting is manifesting, period. I was always a spiritual person, so I was not a stranger to the concept of manifestation.

Let me tell you guys something, you can not NOT manifest therefore you can not NOT shift. Boom you've shifted! Know that, own that. These things are within us, not something to be learned. No, it's innate. So for all of my Law of Assumption shifters out there, think about all of the things you manifested. Guess what? You've shifted. And to all of my non-Law of Assumption shifters? You've shifted too!

5. Do What YOU Want To Do!

This sort of ties back into don't compare your journey but I shall go on! Don't do something that you want to do, if you hate awake methods don't do them. If you hate the Julia method, then don't do it. Stop doing methods because OTHER people do them. I'm sorry but I thought this was your journey? Don't plagiarize, be original! If you don't like doing anything (like me) then DON'T! Simple as that!

6. Blockages Aren't Real, Fuck Intrusive Thoughts, and FUCK Doubts!

I'm going to speed run this one because I want to make this simple. Blockages aren't real unless you assume that they are, intrusive thoughts have no power whatsoever unless you give them power, and it's the same thing with doubts.

What's the common denominator in this? You. They don't mean shit unless YOU say they do!

Okay my love bugs, that is all I can think of as of right now. I am sure that I hit the points I wanted to make, if I think of any more things I'll be sure to add! Like always my dms/asks are always open if you all need anything!

Tag: @papatacomia hope you enjoyed this my love!

[alchemistc]

i like your voice in person

Evan's staring at the bed like he's trying to navigate a minefield.

Six months ago that would have sent Tommy on another journey of self-deprecation, a reminder that he'd known Evan wasn't ready for this, known this was a possibility, but Evan, for all his own insecurities, knows what the hell he wants and if he'd felt even an ounce of pressure or remorse up to this point he'd have said something long before now.

Sometimes Evan likes to work it out himself, and sometimes he needs a little nudge, and Tommy watches the head tilt and the angle of his pursed lips for cues as he settles under the sheets.

"Something on your mind?" he prompts, and Evan blinks, like he hadn't realized he'd gotten lost in his thoughts.

"Uh...nothing, maybe."

"Sounds like something, probably."

Evan's smile tilts up at one corner, and he settles on the bed a little stiffly. "It's nothing major. Just. Something I've been thinking about?"

He can feel his brows jumping, can see the way Evan takes in the look with a fond expression. Evan steels himself for something -- they're still muddling through past experiences and learning how to be a bit more intentional in some of their conversations, because they both have a bad habit of reverting to flirting and deflection.

"You remember what we talked about last weekend?"

Tommy can genuinely remember about 93 percent of what he and Evan talk about at any given time, which is an astronomically high number and not at all an exaggeration. He'd be embarrassed about it if he didn't have clear evidence that Evan was as deep into this as he was.

They talk a lot, is the thing, about inconsequential shit just as much (definitely more) than the important stuff. They talk far more than Tommy can remember talking in any other relationship he's been in. But Tommy can pinpoint the exact one he means.

"You mean the roles thing."

Evan hadn't been a stranger to a little daddy talk in bed when they started to explore it, and he'd brought it up right at the start for a reason, but Tommy had taken a while to come around to the realization that Evan had sort of internalized the 'I don't have daddy issues' of it all in a way that Tommy hadn't actually meant it. There'd been little things, here and there; like Evan reaching a door before him and then bashfully waiting with it half open like he'd made a misstep; like twisting his mouth a little funny when he snatched the bill from the table before Tommy could get it. Little things.

Things that, in the abstract, yeah, Tommy liked to do for his partners, but in reality weren't actually that big a deal to him.

He'd needed to clear the air.

Evan nods. Curls a hand around his knee before he shifts his body so that he's facing Tommy. "So, I like taking care of people."

(A conversation, a month ago, Evan grimacing around "My therapist says I have to stop calling myself a people pleaser in a derogatory way.")

Tommy hums, something to remind Evan he's listening.

"And I guess I sort of built up this idea in my head that that was like, a hard stop with you."

("Everyone likes being taken care of sometimes, Evan.")

"And I'm not -- I'm not upset at you, or like, feeling guilty, I just -- I've been thinking about it, and I feel like I forgot to ask you how you wanted to be taken care of."

The thing with Evan is that no matter how often he'll deflect with a joke, when he wants to say something serious he's blunt as hell about it. There might be some hemming and hawing to get there but sometimes he says things that just make Tommy wonder if he'd ever actually learned how to say things before Evan.

"I don't really have a list, babe," he says, and then sort of hates himself for it. Deflect, distract, hey baby how about I blow you about all these big feelings inside my chest I can't articulate.

Evan, though, Evan squinches his eyes and runs a heavy hand through his hair. "I...sort of do?"

"Lay it on me."

Evan grins. "That's actually one of the things on my list."

Tommy blinks. Tries to figure out that trail of thought, but he's coming up with nothing. "Okay, can you expand on that?"

"Like --listen, you know I'm a huge fan of being the little spoon. I'd let someone put screws back in my leg just for continued little spoon privileges. But sometimes I miss being the big spoon, and in my head the idea sounded so stupid to bring up but now I'm wondering if, like, maybe I've just been denying you the joy of being the little spoon?"

Tommy thinks of Evan's hands spread big and warm across his belly, of knees tucked up behind his, warm breath on the back of his neck like when Evan stumbles up behind him in the mornings whining about coffee, and maybe he blue screens a bit because he's never actually dated someone so close to his own size, because there's always been an assumption at the outset that he wouldn't want that.

Alex had been a little too into the same dynamic he'd seen Evan stumbling through, and Colin had hated sleeping with someone's flesh touching his own. Beyond that he hadn't really dated anyone long enough to really form a preference.

Maybe Kara might have been willing, back when he'd been closeted enough to pretend it wasn't an effort to get it up when she had his dick in her mouth, but they'd been young enough that staying the night wasn't really a consideration.

"And like -- listen, I don't necessarily prescribe to gender roles as a thing in general, but a few weekends ago I spent like twenty minutes staring at a bouquet of flowers in Trader Joe's and convinced myself you wouldn't like the gesture so I didn't buy them but you have a few vases in your moms old china cabinet and the moment I remembered them I felt stupid for not buying the flowers."

There's something curling tenderly underneath Tommy's ribcage that he's not sure he's ever felt quite like this before. It's not new, exactly, but it seems to be thrumming particularly hard tonight.

Three months in, Tommy had gotten the man-flu from hell, temperatures so high he'd been grounded and sent packing to rest it off, and he'd texted Evan a jumbled mess of barely discernible things when they'd tucked him into the Uber.

Evan and Bobby had made chicken noodle soup at the station and Hen had sent Evan off with a laundry list of things he could do to help drop the fever, and Tommy had spent the duration sulking and glowering and dragging himself out of bed every time Evan had wanted to change the sheets, to keep Tommy as comfortable as he could, but when Evan had caught it four days later he hadn't hesitated to do all the same shit with gusto. Evan hadn't been particularly grateful either, because neither one of them liked being laid up when the world was out there waiting for them, but he'd at least had the grace to not be an asshole about it.

He had, though. Been grateful. A little awestruck, too, at the mere idea of someone so unafraid of just being there through all the moaning and groaning and hacking and coughing, keeping the tissues from piling up on the bedside table and switching out cold packs to the freezer so he always had one ready in case he wanted it. In the clarity of a full day without fever making his brain feel like cotton candy he'd stared down at a sleepily wheezing Evan and known he could absolutely lose his heart to this man.

"Also I don't want to toot my own horn here but I give excellent foot rubs, and I feel like there's about a million other things I've just been -- holding back from doing?"

"Because of the role thing, or because all your stupid exes told you you were needy?"

It's not a night to pull punches. Also Tommy wants to send thank you cards to every single one of them and attach them to boxes with a bark scorpion inside.

"Both," Evan says without a second of hesitation. His smile crinkles at the corners of his mouth, and Tommy is suddenly annoyed with the space between them. When he holds out his hand to tug Evan into him, Evan melts into it for the space of a moment before he pulls back. "I actually kind of desperately want to be the big spoon right now, if that's something you'd be into." Evan had definitely clocked the look on his face when he'd mentioned it, but he's keyed into the way Tommy checks in and reciprocated in kind since the start of this, so.

Tommy peels his glasses off, snags his bookmark to keep his spot in the monstrosity of the Wrangler maintenance manual he'd stopped being cagey about the fifth time Evan caught him flipping through it, and watches Evan settle comfortably into bed next to him. The problem is, Tommy actually isn't sure where to go from there, which is a ridiculous thought to have because Evan hadn't either and he'd figured it out just fine.

"How do you want me, Buckley?"

The roll of his eyes is so bitchy that Tommy has to remind himself that for all his people pleasing attributes, Evan Buckley is, at heart, a huge fucking brat. Evan tugs and twists and maneuvers his arms and Tommy sort of sinks into it, head tucked in the crook of his shoulder, draping his leg over one of Evan's when he shifts his knee pointedly, a massive, unruly breath escaping Tommy once they're all done shifting.

"You should absolutely try out the rest of your list," he murmurs into the space where Evan's shoulder meets his neck. "Although you don't need to woo me anymore, I'm actually fully wooed."

Lips against his crown, pressed tightly enough that he can feel the smile against his scalp, Evan chuckles. "You don't know how good my wooing is."

The fingers shifting up and down his arm feel somehow different, from this position, even though Evan has done it a hundred times before from the spot he likes to claim with his head right over Tommy's bleeding, three-sizes-too-big-for-him heart. It's ridiculous, and it shouldn't feel any different, but it does. He wants to be greedy with it, soak it in and then never let Evan do this again because he finally understands the appeal and he doesn't want to deprive Evan that.

"This is nicer than I expected."

Evan's soft laugh ruffles his hair, and Tommy wonders if he's dumb enough to ask Eddie how long he should wait before he can reasonably beg Evan to spend the rest of his life with him.

"Save the reviews for when I actually spoon you. It's gonna rock your world." His hand drifts up, fingers digging into the dimple of Tommy's skull.

The hum in his throat has a mind of it's own, going thin and reedy and --

Evan pauses, and Tommy can practically see the gears whirring in his mind, because this is new information.

To both of them, actually, but Tommy doesn't have time to process it because the fingers on the back of his skull spread and sink deeper, just enough pressure to be more than a glancing ruffle, and Tommy can't quite help the way he tilts his head back into it, or the way he hitches his leg to press his groin a little more firmly to the outside of Evan's thigh.

They're both too tired for it to really mean anything -- both off 48's and a fumbled round in the shower while they were already bone weary -- but Tommy wants the reminder for them both when they wake up in the morning.

He can feel his eyes drooping the longer Evan scrubs his fingers against him, and the thought pops into his head as he's drifting off. He doesn't want it to disappear into the fog, though, so he murmurs it into the soft, warm skin of Evan's neck. "I like camellia's. White ones."

Evan hums, and Tommy just knows that the moment he drops off, Evan will be reaching for his phone to google the language of flowers.

[angeisherexoxo]

EVERYONE HEAR ME OUT (I think I was so close to entering the void)

From what I noticed, void is literally just as simple as sleeping, but because we suddenly heared about it we thought it's something way too complicated and "impossible" and that's what made us take a little processing the whole thing and practicing it ig, but the last week I was sick, and tbh I had no energy to overthink the attempt like I always did, so I layed down in my bed, wrapped up myself in a blanket and since I always fall asleep when I'm laying, I sat a LITTLE and supported my back with pillows so My position can be both comfortable and a mix between sitting+ laying, and literally I was just there, took breathes, said I'm in void (affirming), and I had a void subliminal playing out on my sister's phone (mine is broken), as I said I had no energy to do extra work which is (overthinking it/overcomplicate it) and as I'm sick I was low-key between being aware and unaware, I took like 10 or 20 minutes idk but it was the most successful attempt so far, I suddenly realized that I can't hear the subliminal on my sister's phone? I LITERALLY CANT HEAR ITT, I was like bitch where is it? It's just gone even tho it was right next to my pillow, but what confused me is I could first feel my body and second feel my room, I wasn't in void completely or idk really, I still affirmed anyways, and once I was done (let me tell you how I was done, once i stopped hearing the subliminal.. my dumbass started wondering why it stopped and where did it go lmao, so i focused on it again and thats where i started hearing it which means if i was close now im not☠️😭 ) I realized it wasn't void but I guess it was close enough? I have no clue but guys! This gave me so much hope and knowledge, I knew it's just by letting the whole thing go and literally just exist!!! (Even while im laying down i had soooo many thoughts i cant even remember them, i was just randomly overthinking while breathing and being there) Yk when you're down and you have ZERO energy to go throughout the day? Yes, do this with the void, act so chill and be like meeh and you'll be in, plus I read a post here that's still stuck in my head idk the acc but it said : "void is just like sleeping, when ur going to sleep do you complicate it and say I'm going to sleep I'm going to sleep? Like you're going to war or smthn?"

The point is to not complicate it and remember that BITCH YOU'RE DOING IT FOR THE SAKE OF YOU!!!!!!! DONT BE LAZY, DONT COMPLICATE IT BECAUSE YOU DESERVE HAVING IT SO EASY SINCE U STRUGGLED FOR THIS LONG, IT ALL FOUND YOUUUU FOR A REASON, YOU GO GET THAT REASON DONEE!!!!!

Note:

1. I'm consistently affirming for void whenever I can despite what I feel or see.

2. It exists

3. It's easy af.. It's like- idk for example its as easy as walking but I can't explain walking so you gotta do it yourself type of thing

I hope I helped <3

[churipu]

hihi i love ur works sm and i was wondering if i can request where the reader has an argument w the jjk men?? preferably w nanamin + any other characters :3 thank you in advance ^___^

BAD BLOOD — ARGUMENTS WITH JJK MEN !

featuring. nanami kento, choso, megumi fushiguro x reader

warnings. cursing, yelling, slight angst (ends in fluff dw).

note. hi anon, thank you for loving my works, it means a lot to me. and i love this request, i've been feeling like crap for the whole day so this is just what i needed! i hope you like this one <;33 and for anons who have sent in request, i'm writing them down and keeping them in my drafts for daily posts, so don't worry about it!

NANAMI KENTO. i feel like arguments with nanami will be very soft but angry. nanami is a gentle person, and he just hates the thoughts of saying something hurtful to you — but do keep in mind that he won't always be very soft, he could be loud at times. but most of your arguments with him are soft spoken, the both of you exchanging thoughts and troubles.

for the past few days, nanami has been extremely overworked and so you're walking on eggshells around him. he gets sensitive, and the slightest bit of inconvenience angered him. yes, you get it — he's tired from his work, you could totally understand that. he's a busy man after all.

"kento, don't you want to take a break..? you've been working non-stop, you'll get sick," you eyed him, poking around your food.

nanami sat across from you, his eyes glued to a paper, and honestly, it was getting a little sickening. all you wanted to do was to talk to him, but you felt as if you were selfish if you asked the man to prioritize you over his work — so you stayed silent, for almost a week the two of you haven't exactly been conversing right, or talking unless it was an exchange of "hi"s and "bye"s. but that was about it.

"i need to get this done, wait a moment."

that phrase sounded like a template by now, and you huffed, rolling your eyes, "i know, i'm just worried about you. you're not getting enough sleep, you're not eating well, and at this point, i'm just afraid that you'll dig your own gra—"

"i can take care of myself, thank you. you don't have to worry about me, i know what i'm doing."

you can't help but to furrow your brows at his cold reply, a little offended when all you seemed to be doing was care for him. the least he could do was thank you for it, "god, you don't have to be such an ass about it. forgive me for caring then."

at this point, your words only added fuel to the already big fire. nanami stared at you, the exhaustion in his eyes are apparent, and his lips pursed into a thin line before he inhaled sharply, "you're being a child, i just told you i can take care of myself. please, don't argue with me on this. i'm tired with all these paperwork, don't add more burden for my shoulders."

you clicked your tongue, standing up, not wanting to engage on this particular conversation anymore, "well forgive me for caring and for being a burden. enjoy your dinner," was all you spat out at him before going to the living room — plopping your body down the couch.

arguments with him usually ends up with the both of you apologizing to each other, but this particular argument seemed to not just go the way how it usually does. a couple of hours later, none of you talked. you assumed that the male finished his dinner, and you saw him walk by you into your shared room.

the two of you refused to talk to each other, or even as little as making an eye contact. you figured that you'd just spend the night in the living room where the TV could keep you company, so you stormed inside your shared room where nanami was on the bed, eyes still on his beloved papers.

he said nothing, nor did he spare a glance at you. so you become a guest in your own bedroom and grabbed your pillow, it wasn't that chilly outside so you didn't grab the only blanket laying on the bed (you actually left it there for him to use, the ac could be pretty cold at times).

and he never came out, not until you fell asleep with the TV still on. nanami hadn't even slept, he'd gotten his work done hours ago — but still he couldn't sleep. not without you by his side.

the clock strikes fifteen minutes past three in the morning, and nanami pushed himself up from the bed — feeling the void beside him, even with the blanket; he felt cold. opening the door softly, he trudged out of the room, the sight of you all curled up on top of the couch, vivid lights shining from the TV still managing to light up the whole living room despite the lights being off.

he squats down in front of you, brushing your h/c hair out of your face and it made you turn in your sleep. although not enough to wake you up completely, nanami one of his arm under your upper back, and one under your legs. carrying you inside the room with soft steps before laying you down, not forgetting to tuck you under the blanket and leaving trails of butterfly kisses on your face.

he could finally sleep.

with the sun rays greeting you through the creases of your still covered window, you squirmed. groaning out.

"y/n?"

upon hearing nanami's voice, your eyes flutter open. of course — it was a surprise for you to wake up on the bed when you fell asleep on the couch, "did you carry me here?"

nanami nods, he was leaning onto the bed post, "i'm sorry. what i said to you was wrong," he softly said.

the anger you felt the other night was gone by now, and you were just glad that nanami was willing to talk to you. you shook your head with a small smile, "it was part of my fault too, you were working — i shouldn't have pestered you too much."

nanami wasted no time in pulling you towards him, "you were worried for me. never apologize for that."

like i said, arguments with nanami will always end pretty quickly (the two of you are mature enough to talk it out), oh and also? he spoils you the entire day after an argument so — have fun!

CHOSO. i feel like choso would be confused a lot during arguments with you, on one side i could see him being brazen with his words, and on the other side i could see him being careful with them. no in between, he's definitely scared of saying the wrong things to you — and you getting hurt emotionally, hurts him as well. so at times he just tries to end it quickly by saying sorry.

god, he hates seeing you sad. at the end of the day, if he did say things the wrong way (even if it was to defend himself when he's not wrong), choso will apologize to you for how he said his words (and you'll apologize for your mistake). but choso has his share of apologizing because of his mistake too.

"cho, are you listening to me? gosh, you never pay attention to what i'm saying, are you taking this seriously?" choso looks up at you with his brows furrowed, definitely frustrated by everything that was happening around him right now.

first of all, he expected today to be a very special day. he hasn't seen you for the past couple of days because you've been so busy with work, and he was so excited when you told him you'd be having a couple of days to rest. he couldn't wait to meet you and go out on dates with you.

but clearly, his expectations were shoved down the drain because here you both were — arguing over your work hours choso had brought up a few minutes prior. and all he said was that he wished that the both of you would have more time to spend together, which irked you.

it had been a rough week with work where you had to write and write and write on countless paperwork (which you couldn't really complain on because you signed up for the job). and you weren't afraid to admit that you were in the wrong this time, when all choso wanted was time with you. here you were, getting all riled up because he wished that he had more time with you, and if the roles were switched; you were pretty damn sure you'd say the same thing to him.

"'m sorry for bringing that up. can we go out now..? i don't wanna fight w' you." choso mumbled out, averting his gaze to the side.

his tone ripped you away from your anger and you sighed, pulling him into your embrace, "cho, 'm sorry. i shouldn't have taken my anger out on you just because i've had a rough week."

choso returned your embrace mutely, a small smile dawning upon his lips. he was just glad the argument was cut short. all he wanted to do now was to go out of this slump and make you the happiest person ever — even just for a moment, a couple of days before you eventually have to return back to work.

"cho, say something."

choso pulls away from your touch, "i forgive you. let's go out? missed you. so much."

for the rest of the day, you and choso had the most fun in a week. also, choso fell into a pond in the park because he wasn't looking at the road — and also, you might've called your boss to extend your rest day (by saying you weren't feeling well) so you could have more time to spend with your boyfriend.

MEGUMI FUSHIGURO. i feel like megumi's the type of boyfriend who tries to stay out of arguments with you, if he was entangled in one where he isn't in the wrong — and you tell him to do something, he'd just kind of do it without any complaints. tell him to shut up? he shuts up. tell him to go away? he'll leave. tell him to leave you alone? he'll leave you alone (for a couple of hours).

but when he feels like things aren't ceasing, he'd try his best to negotiate with you and try to find out what the core of the problem is between the both of you. let's be real, megumi is a realistic type of person, he'd never admit that he's wrong when he isn't just to solve things the fast way, even to you; his own partner.

"y/n. how many times do i have to tell you that it's not that i'm bored of you alright? i've been busy. i'm not bored of you."

okay, you didn't expect one question to lead to this argument. all you asked him was a simple yes or no question: "are you bored of me?" and you didn't throw the question for no apparent reason, the reason behind that question itself was megumi's change of behavior the past two weeks.

he'd been extremely distant, and cold. whenever you asked him about it, he just tells you that he's tired. which you could totally understand since he is pretty busy, like uncle ben said: "with great power comes great responsibility."

being a jujutsu sorcerer is a big responsibility. you could understand where it was coming from, but when it happens again and again, you can't help but to overthink about it. overthink about how megumi might be bored of you and the whole relationship.

"megumi, i...okay— i'm sorry for asking about this. i was just worried." you tell him, not wanting to argue any longer about this whole thing, "i'm sorry, you must be stressed out with school and stuff."

megumi furrowed his brows, inhaling sharply, "no, no.. i'm sorry for lashing out. let's talk about this. i don't want you to get the wrong idea."

megumi explained everything from a to z, about how he was still so in love with you and he had been distant because of his power and what comes with it. it was pretty cute to listen to him talk, the constant flush on his face whenever he talks about you, and the stress in his voice when he talks about his power was apparent.

poor boy just needed a break.

"megumi, let's take a nap. you look like you need it."

"...i do."

argument ended. relationship stronger. and you both get to nap together, absolute win-win.

© CHURIPU 2023 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE !

[romaniacs]

▌ㅤNATASHA ROMANOFF — I MISS YOU MORE THAN LIFE

( read more ) synopsis — natasha's harsh words are like a knife twisting inside your already mean brain as she's been dealing with an imminent breakdown due to work-related stress, and so she soothes you from the pain she causes herself. warnings — female reader x natasha romanoff, crying, a little bit of everything; fluff + angst… so hurt-comfort.

"y/n- you're still up?" natasha sounds tired just before her breath catches in her throat as she sees the mess she's caused, your teary eyes lifting to rest on her worried face. "baby, no, why are you crying? are you in pain? having cramps?" and your silence is brief yet loud. "is it something i said? did i… did i make you cry?"

her hands roam over your wet cheeks as she feels a wave of that nurturing energy she usually has taking over her again, as strongly as it could be after a long time of giving you nothing. when she said i don't think i wanna go out in a stressed-out tone, looking over the paperwork she had to finish yesterday, it felt a bit off to you. when she had the last bites of the food you had kept for yourself, you just sulked in a corner. woman had to eat, it was fine. when she stopped kissing you goodbye before leaving, you understood. but when you were on a call and she started cussing out as she dealt with a sudden work issue that popped up and sounded rude to you too, it was a bit too much for you.

i'll hang up, she said not long ago. i'm a bit too mad to talk right now and you're not helping. your headache will pass, just go to bed.

you feel the distance natasha's putting between you two solidifying with time, and things don't seem to be going well with your job either.

it's just been hard. in general.

and now that she finally got home and entered your bedroom, reality hit her like a truck.

"it's nothing" you bring her hands down, off your face, but don't want to be rude. it really is nothing much. you just want to be left alone, as she seems to have been trying to make happen. "it really isn't, don't mind me. just sleep. it's late."

"are you kidding me? you're crying, y/n" her voice is not as soft, strangely. "if i did anything wrong, you can just tell me."

"can't you see it yourself?"

her eyes are suddenly locked onto your face, even though it's dark. she's also finally coming down from the long-lasting stress she's been through. "well, yeah" she sounds weird. calmer. confused. way more aware of herself, and consequently her eyes water up in a second. "yeah. sorry. i think i've been a bit harsh lately. it's just…"

"work, i know" you pat her hand softly as you give her an understanding look. "it's fine. just rest, okay?"

natasha can't bring herself to say much anyway, so she takes the chance to take off her jacket and lay down beside you. after a while, she rests an arm around your waist, pushing some hair off your forehead.

"i'm really sorry, y/n" natasha mumbles on your back. "i don't love you any less. i just haven't been doing so right. it's hard keeping my cool, and i try not to be harsh, but…" her voice trails off. "i've been under a lot of pressure. and not managing it well. but i love you."

"you don't have to explain anything to me, i understand. just don't treat me differently if you can just not treat me in any way and avoid making me second-guess my own actions" you whisper. "i love you a lot, nat. i don't need calmness, i just need to be sure you still love me. so it's okay."

"mhm. just hate myself for making you cry, you don't deserve that" she places a gentle kiss on your skin, her body warmly placed behind yours. and things almost feel normal for a second, just as they used to be before the mission she's been on. "i won't stop loving you even when hell freezes over, detka. trust me."

and you do, you can finally fall asleep. you feel wanted again, even if things still hurt, even if work won't stop on the way of your relationship, but whatever it is that tries to bring you down is fortunately none of your heart's business; even when your heart is heavy, it's still hers.