#i'm late (as always) but an Iconic photo

[rickeajacksons]

©️ joe murphy

[tradedsymmetry]

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[lokideservesahug]

Something Sweet

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Pairing: Mark Webber x Sugarbaby!reader

Warnings: A lot of use of daddy but only from random twitter users, reader is implied to be quite a bit younger than Mark but an exact number is never given.

Notes: I should start on the Nico fic in not too long (probably a bit later in the week. But here is the Mark smau:)

Request: Can i ask for nico rosberg fluff or a mark webber sugar daddy smau?

Summary: Mark Webber looks like he should have a sugar baby attached to his side, so why doesn't he?

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Yourusername

Yourusername: Life lately 💋🎀💕

Liked by aussiegrit and 981 others

View all 45 comments

User1: I want to be you so badly

↳Yourusername: I've found meeting a someone that wants to "help support me" does the trick 😉

User2:This luxury lifestyle is a NEED!!! How do you afford it?

↳Yourusername: My amazing boyfie🥰

User3: GIRL YOU'RE TAKEN!?!?!

Liked by yourusername

User4: Did anyone also see Mark freaking Webber in the likes!?!?👀

↳User5: Who?

↳User4: Dilfiest of all dilfs ever, he's an ex-F1 driver

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Yourusername: Week without the boyf so I decided to treat myself🎀💕

Liked by aussiegrit and 2,876 others

View all 509 comments

User1: Woah. Is this Mark's new girl?

↳User2: Nothing was proven but he is in the likes and her last photo is the same that oomf used for the thread so...👀

User5: YOU ARE SO HOT!!❤❤❤🔥🔥🔥💰💰❤

Liked by aussiegrit

User4: Woah, how did your man react to you posting such a hot photo dump when he isn't in it this time!?!?🔥🔥🔥

↳Yourusername: He just send an Australian kiss (and half a grand)💋💕

User 6: Whoah who is this cute young thing?

↳User7: Don't speak like that, it's objectification. But this is Mark Webber's rumoured girlfriend

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Yourusername

Yourusername: You would too 💋💕

Liked by aussiegrit and 987,765 others

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User1: This is iconic I fear...

↳User2: No but like fr

User3: I aspire to be this unbothered.

↳User4: Literally. I'm desperate to see more of her and Mark's dynamic.

Aussiegrit: ❤

↳Yourusername:Love u Markiepoo💕🎀

↳Aussiegrit:Love you more sweetheart❤

User5: I love her so so much

Liked by aussiegrit

↳User5: I SEE YOU MARK

User6: My question is, what is her contact name for someone like Mark🤔

↳Yourusername:...🤭 Oh I won't it's too bad

↳User7: Please Miss Y/L/N🥺🙏 Just tell us

↳Yourusername: Alright. I kid you not, its "A.T.Mark💋💰❤"

User8: You're hot AND funny!?!?!? Please leave Mark for me!!!

↳Aussiegrit: No can do I'm afraid

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Aussiegrit

Aussiegrit: From my baby😏💸 to My Love🌹❤

Liked by Yourusername, Oscarpiastri and 3,456,987 others

This user has disabled comments

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Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed it!

As always, likes, reblogs and especially feedback is always welcome!

Taglist:@nikfigueiredo @mysoulispainted @leclercings @d3kstar @hiireadstuff @a-beaverhausen @nichmeddar @lozzamez3 @stinkyjax @marymustdie @littlesatanicassholebitch @mehrmonga @insanedeathwish @ems-alexandra @a-disturbing-self-reflection @cherry-piee @minkyungseokie

[natailiatulls07]

Pen Pals

Oscar Piastri x Female!Reader

Summary - Strangers to pen pals to lovers

Warning - Cuteness overload!

Reader works in redbull as a media girl

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Hi there,

I'm Y/n and I'm excited to write you! I've had a few pen pals in the past but none have really worked out.

But I digress, maybe we should start by introducing each other with a few fun facts; I love formula one! I am and will always be a cat person, having two cats of my own and my favourite past time would have to be finding and trying new recipes which either works or becomes a disaster, there's no inbetween!

I look forward to hearing about you and hopefully we'll get on well with eachother!

Yours truly,

Y/n

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Dear Y/n,

It's lovely to meet you! This is my first time so go easy on me! I loved reading your letter and found it quite ironic as I am also a big fan of formula one.

A few facts about me is that my favourite film is 'ten things I hate about you' even though my friends always tease me for it. My favourite formula one driver would have to Oscar Piastri, next best rookie since Hamilton in my opinion.

Who's your favourite driver? And which team do you support??

Yours truly,

Oscar

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Dear Oscar,

What a coincidence! I would definitely agree that Oscar Piastri is a great driver, espercially after winning a sprint in his rookie year! But however, I am a Max Verstappen girl through and through so that also means I'm a redbull supporter as well. But I have respect for each and every other driver and team!

I don't see how your friends can tease you about your favourite film, it is a iconic late 90s film with a stunning cast! See picking a favourite film for me is hard! There's too many to pick from like paddington or pretty woman or even oceans eight!

So what gotten you into starting to write pen pal letters??

Yours truly,

Y/n

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Hi Y/n,

Yeah with my job I find that alot of the people I talk to are very fake and greedy. I felt as those if I just starting writing letters to someone I could keep an anonymous identity. I hope you'll respect that, I'm sure you will!

Don't get me wrong I love my job, it's something I worked my whole life for. But it feels some what suffocating sometimes.

What about you? You said that you've had pen pals in the past but none have really worked out. I can't see why though, you seem lovely and have a great taste in sport!

Yours truly,

Oscar

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Dear Oscar,

Understandable. I promise to remain respectful and I won't pry. I think a pen pal is the perfect way to step away from our lifestyles, it gives us someone that won't judge and you can realise to them.

I started writing to pen pal when I started college. I moved away from all my friends and had a rocky break up with my boyfriend at the time.

So from then I tried to find the best pen pal. But believe it or not, not many people start a pen pal to talk to others and hear others but to just talk about themselves.

A pen pal relationship should be equal and not one sided so often those relationship will have lasted just under two months. But lets not dwell on the past.

Wait important question now! What is your zodiac sign?? It tells you alot about a person.

Yours truly,

Y/n

Time skip a few months -

Hi Y/n!

Just read your last letter, loved your descriptive story about your now sister in laws hen party! I need to see those drunk photos immadiately.

My summer break just started, I have a lot of down time and not a lot to do. Please do you have any suggestions!? I have a feeling that I'm going to spend my summer moving between the gym, my apartment and my local store.

How did the date with that guy go? Was the trip to the jungle mini golf really worth it? I remember I went on a date once, we went to a nice restaurant and by the end of the night she was black out drunk. WORST DATE EVER!!

Yours truly,

Oscar

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Dear Oscar,

I would give you suggestions on what to do this summer. However just like you, my sofa becomes me seconds home after my bed. Well actually every summer me and my bestfriend deciated a day to binge watching all the Harry Potters! We go all out, getting themed snacks and making a fort out of blankets.

Oh my god! The date was horrible! All he did was talk about his family riches and how 'successful' he is. And to add salt to the wound the place was filled with whiny children. NEVER AGAIN!

Also I've add the photos from the hen party to the envelope, non of them have my face in it but you can see that the bride is enjoying herself.

Yours truly,

Y/n <3

Photos in the envelope -

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Hey Y/n,

Looks like the hen party looks as exciting as it sounded! Send my crograts to the bride and groom please.

I'm sorry your date went like that, I hate rich snobs who just glot and I work around them a lot lol! A girl like yourself doesn't deserve to be treated like that, you deserve fancy restaurents and meaningful date. I know I would give you the world.

Harry Potter marathon?? Mmm doesn't sound like a bad idea, I might rope my friend into then, he's british so he'll feel right at home!

Anyways I've been thinking...over these last few months I've grown to trust and adore our little letters back and forth. And I was wondering if you wanted to exchange numbers or something, idk.

I'm actually in Barcelona next week for work, but we can arrange something if you wanted. I just feel like I'd want to put a face to a name and exciting personality!

Yours truly,

Oscar

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Hi Oscar,

The world huh? Thats a bold statement...

Wait that ironic! I'm also in Barcelona next week, we could meet somewhere. I can't really do Thursday through to Sunday, that's when my work really starts.

But yeah we can meet at some coffee shop or something, I seen some nice recommendations on tiktok recently.

I'm actually really excited for this! I've never had a pen pal that actually worked out, let alone wanted to meet me, so I feel lucky! Yeah these letters have been fun to write, it's like I've learnt so much from you. Thank you so much!

OMG did you watch the last f1 race in Montreal?! Oscar Piastri, Max Verstappen and Daniel Ricciardo podium! I'm sooo proud Piastri, he is slowly but surely moving up and competing with Verstappen for my fav driver! There I said it!

Yours truly,

Y/n <3

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Dear Y/n,

Is Piastri growing on you Y/n?? Ooo that's exciting! But you wouldn't want to disappoint the current world champ, his no 1 fan is going to the dark side!

I would definitely give you the world! In a heart beat actually, you've single handedly made me feel normal and human again and I am forever thankful for that!

So you're working Thursday through Sunday...the exact days that formula one is active in the same city. I feel bad for you honestly, I'm sorry...

How about we meet up on the Wednesday? Should we meet at the three marks coffee?? I've heard great things about their coffee!

Meet me there at 1pm! I actually can't wait! See you then!

Yours truly,

Oscar <3

Outside the cafe -

Stood just outside the cafe, Y/n fiddled with her bag. She didn't know why she was so nervous, she would trust her pen pal Oscar with her deepest darkest secret if needs be.

Busy was an understatement. And Y/n knew fully well why, it was the reason why she was here this week. Formula one. Being one the media girls at redbull meant that she had to attend every race, not that she was complaining.

Just down the street was Oscar, walking head held high and a large grin on his face. He was beyond excited to meet the mysterious Y/n.

When they both began sending letters to each other, they agreed that neither would pry for surnames, addresses and other personal details.

The one thing they decided to do today was dress in all white, making it easy for each of them to pin point each other.

Oscar approached the cafe, his eyes scanning the area for a women dressed in all white. Until he spotted her, it was love at first sight!

He was obsessed with how she stylied her hair, and what she decided to dress like considering the white rule. "Y/n!" Calling out her name, as he made a quick walk towards her.

Y/n could hear her name being called and when she turned she came face to face with the one and only Oscar Piastri smiling down at her. A gasp broke through her lips, surprised that he was her pen pal.

"You're my pen pal?" She asked in disbelief. The Australian driver nodding his head excitedly. "You let me hype you up about your driving and didn't tell me?"

They both broke out into laughter. "Yep! And I loved it!" Oscars face held a cheeky grin, that Y/n instantly fell in love with.

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After settling down in a small secluded table just outside the cafe, Y/n turned to Oscar. Her face now holding a cheeky grin. "Is now the best time to tell you that I work at Redbull as a media girl?"

Now it was Oscars turned to look shocked, shaking his head in disbelief.

"So you're telling me we've been right under eachothers noses the whole time!?" Neither expected that they were in reality quite close to each other whilst they were sending letters back and forth.

"What are the chances? Right?"

"Fancy leaving Redbull and join me in Papaya? maybe then Oscar Piastri will be your favourite driver..."

"Oscar!"

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[strawberrystepmom]

nsfw - minors/ageless dni, i will hard block you. narumi x f!reader. they are online dating. gen is so cringe fail loser online boyfriend coded to me and i'm utterly obsessed enamored in love with him. back and forth, mentions of mutual masturbation and sending nudes, suggestive conversation, open ended to write more about them. | divider thanks to cafekitsune, wc 1.7k

Gen’s phone pings with a notification on this desk. His eyes widen despite the fact he is mid digital conflict, tossing fireballs at the final boss of the latest game he’s managed to master and beat in roughly three days, muttering to himself while clicking the direction pad with one hand and sliding his phone haphazardly into his lap with the other. 

A tiny piece of him is hoping that the notification is thanks to new results showing up under his saved search for Captain Narumi though he isn’t angry at what he does see on the screen when he looks down at it for the briefest moment, ignoring his handheld boss battle. 

fallingstarwishes: you are always online at the strangest times…

The little icon of a cartoon version of you, the character you play in the game where the two of you originally became friends, next to the message stirs a little warmth in his face. He presses his lips together to hide a smile and turns back to the fireballs being hurled at the titular hero of the game, dodging them expertly, inevitably going to win this battle just as he wins all of the rest. 

Another ping distracts him, at least momentarily, and the screen in lap lights up. 

“Shit, just give me a minute,” he mutters impatiently toward his phone, red eyes flicking down to see another message from you. 

fallingstarwishes: don’t you ever sleep? it’s so late (early?), silly.

It may be 4 am for him and roughly 2 pm for you but what you don’t know is that an hour ago he was spearing through the technicolor core of a kaiju four times his size that leveled three city blocks with just the sound of its roar using just his bayonet. He can’t leave blanks about who he is and what he does for much longer. As badly as he’s wanted to boldly brag to you about his prowess, he has always known it can make or break the two of you when the truth comes out. 

The right time to mention the whole life threatening and dangerous job thing hasn’t quite come up yet, though. You know he’s in the military although he has never been entirely forthcoming about what that entails and you’ve never asked.

He thinks about how fresh things still are between the two of you. Less than a year of knowing one another, a chance meeting in a large server for a big title slice of life game that came out last year, that has since turned into late nights (for you) messaging, gaming, and eventually voice chatting and giggling together until one of you is forced to go - either to bed or work. 

He fires off a few more fireballs at the boss, dodging the weakly tossed few they return, and the screen goes into the cutscene that effectively declares yet another victory for him. Smiling, he sets the handheld console aside, and curls his fingers around his phone. The screen fills with the conversation between the two of you, messages sent all hours of the day every day, the last one a picture of you laying in bed last night in a suggestive position claiming to be thinking of him. 

His gaze fixates on the photos for a moment, greedily looking at what he was only able to glance at before he left for his mission. He slides down to the chat bar and smirks, seeing your status go from idle to online when you notice he’s typing back to you.

captaincool: Aren’t you at work right now?

You grin from miles away, discreetly looking around the office to make sure nobody can see you using a messaging app that is very obviously not work related during your paid hours. It’s not like you’re in danger of getting caught but there is something particularly delicious about having your own little love affair nobody else has to know about. It’s just the two of you, always, in a world (or worlds, when you consider how many hours the two of you have spent across games) you’ve created to enjoy together.

Tapping out a message, you furrow your brow and jiggle one of your ankles where it’s crossed over the other. 

fallingstarwishes: stop answering my questions with new ones of your own!

Gen smiles down at the screen, thumbs tapping the edges of his phone, anxiously waiting to see what you’ll say next. 

fallingstarwishes: now, what are you doing up? 

fallingstarwishes: bored? 

fallingstarwishes: lonely? 

fallingstarwishes: need me to sing you to sleep?

Chuckling at the singing suggestion, he scrolls back up enough to see that pretty picture you sent him and hisses to himself, his adrenaline finally coming down to a normal enough level he can focus on something else besides the rapid beating of his heart and the thrill of the battle.

captaincool: A song? Just for me? Aren’t you sweet

Raising a brow while firing off his message, he wonders what the two of you actually are. There are times he absolutely considers you his girlfriend or something like it. You’ve discussed crossing the ocean to come and see him more than once though the concept of actually having a girlfriend makes him unexpectedly anxious. Someone to remember birthdays and anniversaries for. Someone who wants you where she wants you when she wants you there. Someone with demands, a comically large pair of scissors to cut his wings and keep him from being himself.

Although you’ve never given him any indication you’d want to do that, it’s something he has to reflect on. His feelings are real but so are the ties that come with them if he were to act on them.

fallingstarwishes: that isn’t even the sweetest i’ve been to you this week. did you forget last wednesday night already?

Damn, you make it hard for him to not act. 

captaincool: How are you going to tell me to sleep and then remind me of that?

Of course he remembers Wednesday evening for you (early in the day on Thursday for him). He remained locked inside of his room for an hour while your soft moans of his name filled his headphones over video chat. Begging him please, telling him how badly you wished it was him instead of your short fingers…he remembers every last moment.

He remembers most of all the sound of his name from your mouth. It’s what sends him over the edge every single time the two of you are able to sneak in a session of mutual masturbation from all these miles and hours away. It also is what he cums to when he’s simply listening back to videos and voice notes or his own imagination.

fallingstarwishes: :) <3 just making sure you remembered who you’re dealing with. you didn’t even react to the picture i sent! 

Gen scrolls back up to glance at the photo, sliding downward in his chair, thighs spreading instinctively. He places his phone down on his desk and slides his hand beneath the waistband of his sweatpants, pulling them down enough that his half hard cock pops over his underwear. Reaching for his phone, he positions it so that the camera captures just the cut of his Adonis belt and the barely visible crown of him, snapping a picture to send back to you. He holds the phone back from his face and smirks appreciatively at his own artistic ability, happy with the subtle gleam of his arousal beginning to flow and bead on the tip of his dick. 

The photo is fired off with an accompanying cheeky message.

captaincool: Is this confirmation enough that I liked it?

Your eyes widen when the photo comes through, hands shaking slightly. He isn’t the only one who recalls the sound of a name from a pair of lips they wanna feel on every inch of their body in this scenario, now is he?

fallingstarwishes: you should have spoilered that! what if my boss would’ve walked up?

Gen chuckles at your response, pulling down his underwear and letting his now fully erect cock spring free. He’ll handle this and then he’ll be more than ready to pass out although he wishes he could stay up all through the day just to talk to you. He throbs, needy and wanting for a fist that he knows would grip him just right that sadly exists an ocean away and only in his mind. He taps out a message with his free hand, rubbing the thumb of his opposite hand over his slit and moaning low in his throat.

captaincool: Then you would have to explain why you are on your phone during work anyway.

Giggling to yourself, you know he’s right. You spare a few more seconds to glance at the pretty picture on your screen, thinking about your attachment to the man and his penis both, wondering if there will indeed be a day where you are faced with them both in person. Your thumb swipes across the screen, a small gesture that is full of longing while your heart beats in time with your rapid thoughts, and you finally respond.

fallingstarwishes: handle that and then get some sleep. i’ll be around tonight and hope we can spend some time together. sweet dreams gen ♥️

His fist works up and down his shaft and he reads the message with a satisfied half smile, discarding his phone to focus on how good he feels imagining bouncing you up and down on his cock. He’s powerful and strong, more than you could even imagine, and he’d make quick work of you if he were to have his hands on you.

God, he needs his hands on you. He whimpers and shuts his eyes tightly, the slick sound of his motions bouncing off of the clutter and boxes in his room that he’ll eventually get to clearing out. It doesn’t ever take him long when he pictures you, his balls tightening, threatening to spill across his fingers in damn near record time compared to how long he likes to make himself wait when the two of you are doing this together.

But don’t worry, when he finishes, he’ll make sure that you see his pearly release all over his knuckles with a message promising he’ll have sweet dreams because you will be in them.

[gummilutt]

250 followers Custom Memory Bonanza

It's finally time! To thank all you lovely people for your support, I have been working hard to get this ready for upload and here we are. Today I am sharing my custom memory object, and my library of a whopping 201 custom memories. Based on the wonderful Tattered Diary by DiLight over on MTS, and the tutorial she shared of how to make your own custom memories.

I've always cared a lot about memories, to me they tell the story of the Sims life. Some of you from MTS may recall when I did the whole several year rebuild of my hood, replicating every last detail of the original. I'm memory crazy, okay? And when DiLight gave me the power to make my own, I may have gone a tad overboard. Or just the right amount, you get to decide :P DiLight taught me most of what I know about making custom memories, and the base BHAVs are from her, but as I've learned more I've added some bells and whistles that I hope you will enjoy. It's a new clone and separate GUID from the original tutorial object set up by DiLight, so if you have your own you can have mine too without issues :) Found in misc/misc, costs 1 simoleon.

Download on simfileshare

Features - Brand new form, created by me. Resized BV photo album with new mapping and new texture (seen above, in game pictures at the end of this post). I wanted something that was uniquely mine, and that you don't necessarily have to hide away in the attic or under the foundation. If you don't like it, you also have some additional model forms you can switch between through the pie menu. - Adaptable dynamic menu. Thanks to a really neat trick from @picknmixsims the menu reflects the memories you put in your downloads. If no file with the correct guid is found, the option for it won't show. Which means that although I am crazy enough to have 201, you can go ahead and only pick your favorite ones and the object will automatically detect and adapt the menu to that selection. - Memories all have a custom icon, that's made from game icons from TS2 or TS3. Some I am quite proud of, some are admittedly not great. Not everything is easy to convey through game icons, but I've tried my best, I hope the effort shows. 5 memories have icons that are not from the game, but I tried to match them to the aesthetic as best I could. - Memory subject menu shows only relevant age groups. For example, if the memory is about having a baby, only baby/toddler Sims will show as options. Goal being to keep menu as concise as possible. If you wish to assign memories retroactively, please see jonasn's excellent Memory Commander object, which has support to add my custom memories without age limitations. As well as a whole lot of other useful memory-related stuff. - Extensive documentation detailing everything you may need to know about the memories (text, icon, background, who can get it, who they can get it about, repeatability, where to find it on the object) to help you select the ones you want for your game, and familiarize yourself with them. - English and Swedish translations of memories, and object menu. If someone wants to add their language, that would be great but it's a lot of work so I don't expect it. You are welcome to share your translated versions directly if you wish, or you can send them to me for me to update files shared here :) If you want to learn how to translate the files directly, Episims has a great tutorial found here.

Examples of types of custom memories included - Extended family members memories (got cousin, got aunt/uncle, got sibling, got twin sibling, got great grandchild, got stepparent, got stepchild) - Birth related memories (pregnancy, becoming parent, late in life parent, had multiples birth, premature baby) - Marriage related memories (divorce, parental divorce, custody things, alimony) - Relationship related memories (fighting, breakups, additional love memories) - Woohoo related (memories for specific woohoo locations, repeatable generic woohoo/public woohoo) - University degree related (declared major memories, got a minor degree memories, got a major degree memories, for remembering having studied multiple things and being able to see what major your Sim chose without looking at their diploma) - Loan related, for remembering taking and paying off loans of different types - Moving memories (first apartment, child moves out, various memories for sims moving in with others) - Kids related (child's first day in school, got their own pet, nursery rhyme, giving up for adoption, living at orphanage)

Mods automating delivery of my CC memories (more to come) Learned nursery rhyme from - Found here, by me Wrote restaurant guide - Found here, part of jonasn "Novel Writing Improvements" mod

Credits: DiLight, @picknmixsims, @morepopcorn, @latmosims, @joplayingthesims, maxon, @keoni-chan. For detailed info on how they all impacted the creation of this, see readme :) Policy: Give credit to DiLight, beyond that, totally open. Enjoy!

[partycatty]

I can't get enough of young Johnny MK11! I love him, god!🥵 How do you like this topic for fanfic? Fem!reader put his jacket and glasses on his naked body, and took sexy selfies.😎❤️‍🔥 Johnny saw this aaand here I’m already giving way to your fantasy hehe~

Thank you in advance! I like the way you write! Well done💕

i'm not sure if i read it right ?? lmk, but i went with my interpretation

johnny cage > call me

johnny's out late working, as usual. you've had enough of waiting and decide to bait him into coming home early

warnings: PHONE SEX TEEHEE

notes: do you guys also like genuinely tweak out wishing he was real? he's so perfect? peak malewife? wishing u were [REDACTED] his [REDACTED] rn?

masterlist

• you were often left to your own devices when it came to living with johnny. he, after all, was a star constantly running around on new projects. any studio would be at his knees for just one contract. he was hollywood's richest man, and you were lucky to call him your boyfriend.

• sure, it had it's moments. the paps stealing upskirt shots from you wasn't ideal, neither was the bush stalking. but you could see past that. what was hardest was when johnny would be gone all through the night, dressed in that stupid ninja mime getup that you learned to loathe since it pulled him away more than his other works. does the world really need a ninja mime trilogy? yes, apparently.

• boredom overtook you, since browsing on your phone for eight hours was now becoming a horrible habit on your neck - and mental stability. you took to mopping the floors, tidying the countertops, dusting his awards. finally, you settled on your walk-in closet.

• it was spacious, big enough for you to each get a side. your side was always decently organized to your liking, but johnny's was... atrocious. jackets hung on one sleeve, some on the floor. the only thing that was neatly organized on his side was the giant rack of sunglasses. he always had a pair to match the outfit and occasion. he probably had about three pairs on him at work.

• as you tried to rearrange his clothing, his distinct, classy scent filled your nose, sticking to the inside of your nose and you couldn't help but feel heated. you missed him, him and his dick. you took a deep whiff of his iconic blue and purple jacket, the one he left at home knowing he'd have to get in costume anyway.

• you threw it over yourself, embracing your torso and spinning in the mirror. it fit him perfectly, but on you it was like a blanket. the sleeves sagged off of your arms and your midsection was swimming. his size was impressive, his form shaped like a greek god.

• you couldn't help yourself, the memories of him and scent turned you on. blame pheromones, dammit! but, you realized you could take advantage of this.

• throwing your shirt off, you donned the jacket again, wearing it like he does - chest exposed. a purple pair of sunglasses practically screamed your name from the rack and you put them on. you looked just like him...! no, not really.

• touching yourself in his clothes was not a new idea, but there certainly was a new idea blossoming in your head. you pulled your phone out and snapped a mirror selfie, trying to flex like he does but your muscles were muffled from the loose fabric.

• how's this for the next cagecon? you text johnny, attaching the photo. you didn't expect him to reply right away, considering he was at work. but before you could lock your phone for the moment, his name popped up within milliseconds.

• don't take me away from work, baby! johnny replies with a winking emoji.

• what if i want to? it's so lonely in your mansion, you reply with an angel emoji, sitting on the edge of your shared bed as you fight a grin. you angle the phone downward, capturing your bare chest. your nipples brush against the jacket, making them stick out through the front. johnny takes a moment to reply, but you feel your phone vibrate once, then twice, then three times.

• fuck, you're so hot in my clothes.

• i'm taking my break early. can't work with a boner.

• the third message was a short video of him palming himself through that stupid costume. the only thing you can thank that outfit for is how prominent it makes his bulge.

• phone sex through texts was also nothing new to you two, considering the distance. as your fingers sink under your panties, assuming that's where things will go before you get a fourth message.

• call me. please.

• you sit up straight, biting your lip. his desperation always got you going. you kicked your pants and panties aside.

• you send one last photo, your body spread out on the bed in his clothes. your hand conceals your dripping pussy playfully.

• why should i? you shoot the message out, giggling at your own words.

• johnny doesn't even reply, he opens your message and calls you. you eagerly accept his call. his voice is echoey and rough. you realize he's hiding in the bathroom. his breathing is heavy.

• "are you proud of yourself?" he asks in a low rumble, trying to stay quiet but his flustered huffing makes his voice whiny. "look at what you did."

• he sends a photo. his cock is eager and out, and you see a teardrop of precum on his tip. you happily exchange that photo for another one, a short video of you gingerly touching yourself. he lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

• "i couldn't wait til i'd get home," he admits, and you hear the slick sounds of him jerking off. "i want to, i want to come home and fuck you like that, but i'm here for another two hours."

• "you couldn't have waited?" you ask in disbelief, circling small loops on your aching clit.

• "no." johnny's reply sounded so sure of himself, so convinced in his words. he was as firm as he would've been if you asked him if he killed someone. he knew this to be a fact, he could not wait. "i can't help it, sweetheart. you're just so... god."

• his breaths get heavier and needier, you can sense he's speeding up on himself. you try to match what you assume is his pace, one that he confirms through another video. he held the phone below his dick, giving you a delicious view of his abs and bobbing adam's apple as he swallowed hungrily.

• his arms were painted white, but his hands were his usual flesh tone since he wore gloves for the costume. even still, his veins were incredibly prominent and really helping you reach your climax.

• "we gotta make this quick, baby," he grumbles into the phone, muffling his moans through bitten lips. you're a little louder due to your privacy, much to his delight. "people'll start looking for me."

• "johnny," you whimper out, back arching up off of the bed. "i'm already close." through your haze, you get a video of you masturbating wildly, the jacket now sliding down to your sides and fully revealing your tits as you fuck yourself. "i-i need you, i need you so bad-"

• "i know, baby," he breathlessly replies, straining himself to avoid moaning out your name and attracting attention. "let me hear how badly you need me."

• you could only spew out utter nonsense at this point as your orgasm is dangerously close. he seems to get the memo, though, and gives you permission to cum with him. your needy cries and his muffled grunts make a perfect chorus that you only wish were in person.

• when your breathing slows, as does his, you hear him chuckle to himself. a new message appears in your chat.

• his weeping dick was cradled in his palm, as was a entire handful of semen dripping down his fingers. he wanted to show you just how hard you made him cum from phone sex alone.

• "round one was now," he mumbles as you hear him tear a piece of toilet paper to wipe his hand. "round two is when i get home. you gonna be ready for it, princess?"

• the phone rests on your bare, damp chest as you fixate on the ceiling. you take the sunglasses off and wipe your face with a smile.

• "i'm always ready," you reply with a giggle.

• "that's my girl. see you in two hours. i love you." and with that, he hangs up, leaving you a naked, sweaty mess that's only concealed in his jacket.

[angeliconstell]

⠀𝅄⠀ㅤׂ Ghost Papa Headcanons (Dating)!

A/N: Doing something a bit different than my usual. The month of October is all spooky month so I'll be doing maybe a "Kinktober" thing for different slashers/horror icons. Before then, I want to test some stuff in my other fandoms. I am a massive Ghost fan, have been for five years now. My favorite album is Meliora ;). Anyways, I decided to dust off my writing skills for literally the thing I have a whole corner of merch dedicated to! If this goes good, I'll do more Ghost stuff!

Themes: Fluff/NSFW/Some dark topics

Dividers credits!: @/gothdaddyissues

⛧ 𓂃 Primo!:

SFW:

⸸ I do believe Primo can be a sweetheart to his partners. His partner is his number one priority, even above the Ministry. He'd do anything to make sure that his beloved is safe and happy.

⸸ Late night cuddle sessions. He's an old fella, don't expect him to be jumping your bones every night. Some nights are just cuddling in bed together, basking in each other's warmth as Primo would read.

⸸ Acts of service. From making sure you have food, running you hot baths together, or a nice date night where he gets wine and helps clean with you as you two listen to music. Primo loves doing things for you.

⸸ His favorite places to kiss is probably your forehead and your cheek. Primo would often just tilt your head up with a finger to be able to grab a quick smooch from his beloved.

NSFW:

⸸ Since Primo is of course older, don't expect him to always want to have sex when you want or for him to have much stamina. Most nights, you'd need to run a hot bath for him to help with his aches. Aftercare is as important to him as it is for you.

⸸ Riding. Primo likes it when you ride him, being able to cup your chest and watched you ride yourself stupid on his cock. It gets him harder to be able to see you cum around him, your slick covering his lower stomach. Sometimes it even makes him just a tad bit harder.

⸸ Primo definitely knows what the hell he is doing. He knows all of the gooey spots in you to make you melt into his hands like a puddle of nerves. He's amazing with his fingers, always making sure you're wet and stretched enough to take him. Primo would rub so tenderly against those sweet spots that it would have you screaming like a whore for everyone in the Ministry to hear.

⸸ Praising you is a big favorite, letting his little love know how good they are. He makes sure to get right up in your ear with it too, to make sure you hear all of those filthy praises he has to say. He loves the way you would clench around his cock with each sweet word.

⛧ 𓂃 Secondo!:

SFW:

⸸ To start off with, Secondo is obviously a lover that makes sure his partner is completely satisfied no matter what. If you don't like an outfit you have to wear, he'll sit with you and help you pick an outfit. He'll make sure to make it known that you're absolutely stunning no matter what you wear.

⸸ Secondo would show you off. Dragging you in stage, making sure you're in photos with him, bragging about you. You're his treasure, his muse. He'll make sure it is known that you belong to him and that he belongs to you.

⸸ This one might be a little, just a tad bit controversial. I think Secondo might be a little like Nihil with Imperator. He would cheat, maybe once, then feel absolutely horrible about it when he realized how horribly it ruined you. It takes awhile to trust him again, but he will try in every way to make it up to you, going as far to make sure you're comfortable and calling when he's on tours.

⸸ A silly one to make up for the last one 😭. Secondo would have little to no discomfort with you. He gets a little to comfortable sometimes. Secondo would parade around his quarters ass naked as he got ready for Rituals.

NSFW:

⸸ I'm going to be honest, he's a a freak, absolutely down bad. The first thing he does after Rituals to calm down is bury his head between your legs and eat you out with his face paints still on. The bigger the mess, the harder he gets. He would grind against the bed until he cums during this. By the end of it, half of his makeup is on your thighs.

⸸ Secondo also likes using his hands, literally anything to please you. As I said in the SFW stuff, he will make sure you're completely satisfied. For the fem readers, two of his fingers would be knuckle deep in your slick and his pinky in your ass. Male readers, one hand would be making sure to be pumping the cum out of your cock and two fingers snug in your ass. He has to be touching, having his fingers in you.

⸸ Secondo loves anal. From using his tongue, fingers, cock, he loves your ass. That being said, doggy and reverse cowgirl is his favorite position. It drives Secondo near feral to be able to see the bounce of your ass when he fucks you. By the end of it all, your ass would be bright red and bruised.

⸸ Don't test him. Secondo is definitely a dominant man and he'll use pain to his advantage. If you brat a little too close to the sun, you'll be bent over his knee in know time with his leather gloved hand smacking roughly against your ass. He of course makes sure you're okay, making sure you're using a safe word for if it hurts too much.

⛧ 𓂃 Terzo!:

SFW:

⸸ Opposed to what many people think of Terzo, him being a horny, sassy man, I think Terzo is more of a recluse. His on stage persona is completely different compared to how he is with you. Terzo would rather spend evenings with you, drinking wine and watching Real Housewives.

⸸ Terzo has more of a taste for fashion than his brothers. He loves to match with you, hell, he even had matching outfits made for you two just because. He always is honest and trying his best to look good for you, making sure you stay up to date with trends.

⸸ Taking care of Terzo in return makes his heart melt. Even though Terzo has a huge stage presence, he usually gets increasingly anxious the closer Rituals get. It usually eats at him that he'll never be good enough, not good enough for Nihil. You have to remind him that he's a man carrying the whole Ministry on his shoulders and he's not alone. So to calm him down before shows, sitting and helping him do his makeup is usually the cure for his anxiety.

NSFW:

⸸ Terzo loves to mark you up. He can tend to get a bit possessive over you, so leaving bites in a place that's visible is one of his favorites. Terzo would bite your chest, between your thighs, about anywhere. Not hard of course, unless you ask for it.

⸸ Eating you out is a big yes. Terzo would get off by just lapping at you, sucking at your slick and spreading it more with his tongue. He'd rather be between your thighs, having them over his shoulders as he's buried nose deep against you.

⸸ A weird one, despite Terzo liking to have a clean appearance, making sure he smells nice and looks groomed. Your natural scents get him off. Your scent is enough to immediately get him rock hard, precum dripping onto the bed.

⸸ Terzo has a higher libido. Have fun dealing with that. Sometimes he would ache so god damn bad for you that sometimes he'd pull you into the nearest empty room just to fuck you. He would bend you over a desk, holding you by your waist to make sure you don't move too much as he would thrust into you.

⛧ 𓂃 Copia!:

SFW:

⸸ Copia is a big baby. That's all. If he gets hurt, it's straight to you. If you stray too far, Copia gets anxious. He likes having you, it's a safe blanket for himself. Being near you is just enough to make him so, so happy.

⸸ Copia's love language is definitely touch. Touching you always is a big yes. He'll always have a hand around you hip, on your thigh, holding your hands, anywhere on you. Sometimes if he's not sure if touching you intimately is appropriate, he'll just rest a hand on your shoulder or head.

⸸ Date nights are a must. Copia is more of an inside guy for sure. His nights are spent in sweatpants and on a couch playing video games with you. You sometimes have to go easy with him in video games because if he continually loses, he gets grumpy.

⸸ Copia's pet rats are his babies and as long you're with him, they're your babies too. Do not call them "ugly" or "filthy", most relationships are a deal breaker if you call his rats anything besides babies.

NSFW:

⸸ Another, maybe, slightly controversial one (not really.) I think Copia is a smoker, mostly because of Chapter 12 on YouTube (https://youtu.be/NJx--9-mQis?si=LyJ0tstNC6U9UekQ). Copia sometimes would smoke during sex, especially if you're just being a cock warmer for him. The warmth of the cigarette would near your face as Copia would mumbled sweet nothings as you sit pretty on his cock, letting it fill you to the brim.

⸸ Copia is self conscious of his body. He has a nice dad bod going on for him. He would sometimes only would have sex with you with clothes halfway on due to his insecurities. Copia's cock is a nice chub, on the shorter end, but thick and slightly curved. It just manages to hit you in all the right spots and sometimes your moans brings him a big ego boost that he's enough. Another silly thing, he's definitely has accidentally left his socks on during sex before.

⸸ Cumming on your face is probably one of the prettiest things to him, next to you of course. Copia does enjoy the warmth of milking his cum into you, but being able to cum on your face, chest, tummy, ass, or thighs is close to first for him. Copia would pull out despite your protests, pumping his cock in front of your face while you sit with your tongue out like an eager pup until he releases on you.

⸸ Copia is a switch, depending on how he feels that day is depending on how he is in bed. If dominant, expect gentle sex with loads of praises and soft kisses. Missionary or mating press is probably his favorite positions, to be able to kiss you or see your face as his cock grazes up against all of your favorite places. If submissive, expect tons of whinpering. Copia is a beggar, he would hold your love handles in a death grip, begging you to keep riding him (or fucking him) until he cums. He isn't usually a brat, Copia loves to be a good boy.

[bluestarjay]

Atsumu miya is a gay icon.

He realized he was gay in middle school and had a crush on Aran for several years. Contrary to popular belief, mostly everybody was shocked when he came out bc he tended to flirt with girls a lot and seemed to have a lot of crushes on girls, but he'd never felt anything for them.

A lot of fics have him as bi, but I think Osamu is the bisexual one. Their behavior and, by extension, their sexualities are defining traits between them. Even though everybody was shocked when he came out, everybody was supportive, and years later, they realized how obvious it was. Looking back at old pictures of the twins, there is one of them watching TV, particularly Pokémon, and Osamu looks bored, while Atsumu stares attentively at the TV, which is a close up shot of James of Team Rocket. There are other pictures of him wearing princess tiaras and jewelry unbothered, whereas Osamu looks annoyed as they play dress up with a younger neighbor. Even in high school, atsumu does a pose in which his hip is popped, hand propped up on it, and knee bent outward. It looks incredibly gay. Like his body is bent in a damn zigzag in this pose, and people thought he was straight. There's a picture of him and his female date to his middle school dance, and there are several inches between them, and her hand is on his waist, and his is around her neck; like he was too uncomfortable to put his arm around her waist.

Osamu thinks he's straight for a good 15 or 16 years of his life, and then when atsumu falls in love with shoyo at nationals, they talk about it, and atsumu talks about the feelings in his chest and stomach, like a burning sensation but in a good way, and osamu discovers that that's how he's always felt about Suna. And perhaps Komori from Itachiyama? But he'd deal with that later,,, so he put a tiny bisexual flag in his phone case. And then he put a bi flag pin on his Onigiri Miya hat.

Osamu is very chill, and at first glance, straight appearing. But then you get into conversation with him, and you start to think he's just a good ally, what with his brother being gay and all. But then he starts to use more slang, and he starts getting sassier and sassier, and it becomes very apparent he's not straight. With atsumu, you can tell he's gay almost immediately bc of that damn stance of his.

He becomes much more comfortable in his sexuality after coming out because he no longer feels the need to hide behind the kind of play boy facade he had before. He's very masculine but isn't afraid to wear something more traditionally feminine. (Shoyo likes to paint his nails sometimes, so atsumu always offers to help him so it's cleaner.) I think Atsumu would have his ears pierced too.

Btw, yall remember the Gay Little Monkey at the Apple Store meme?? Yeah, that was actually Atsumu,,,, since his and Osamu's bday is October 5th, as a late bday present, their mom let them get new phones and it just so happened to be Halloween that's why he's wearing a monkey costume!!! Idk why a monkey specifically, but wtv. They found the picture while looking through the photo album and started questioning everything they knew bc it was so obvious that Atsumu was gay,,,, and obviously they posted it online, and it went viral!! I'm actually Furudate, guys, so this is canon information 🙏🙏🙏 this is just my burner acc 😝

[justquicksshot]

Haha, maybe I'm a little late for Pride month, but I want to tell you something that has made me think lately.

Many people in the community consider Judy Garland a queer icon, myself included, I have found a safe space in who she was as a person and in her life story, among other celebrities who existed under that title, such as Julie Andrews, who gave us an impeccable presentation in Victor/Victoria, opening the way a little more to portray queer narrative in cinema. What I'm getting at, I'm so surprised that Dean and Jerry are not another of those icons by themselves, I understand that pseudo campaign that there was to "clean" Dean's image after his death, locking him in that box of a heterosexual family man , but it doesn't enter in my head the fact that, despite having an infinite number of true fans, this duo does not have more weight within the historical vindication of the community. Especially Jerry, there's my other point. The propaganda about Jerry's image was not as strict as Dean's, it never was, In some way or another his genius allowed him to flow within the parameters in Hollywood, as he could go from a visibly gay man (or queer in that case, never openly stated, but notoriously conceived as such) to a whole womanizer, he was that versatile, but he always maintained that spark that indicated to us that perhaps, he could go beyond, so I consider Jerry a queer icon, to whom we should give more presence, to him and Dean of course (because obviously their clear love story is to die for!! more people should research it because it is to melt in love) , during pride month.

(Pretty photo so that you can stay and read my chatter )

[schizo-bbgs]

How did you study about military gear? I'm currently trying & searching sources and looking for some tips.

I really like your work btw. Keep going✨️

Hi! Thank you so much, I'm excited to share some knowledge with someone. <3 I tried summing up methods that have helped me the most: 1. lots of research (vids, blogs, magazines, loadout lists,...) 2. store/product photos 3. military photos (not airsoft!) 4. damtoy loadout showcase vids I first started off with doing extensive research on cod operators. Cosplay guides by shadeops21 (DeviantArt) are a huge help with the most accurate loadout lists.

Next step was looking up product photos & studying the functions, shapes, different angles. Store/product photos are my most used refs, they're in high resolution & you'll see every detail thanks to a well lit environment. I also collect military pics in one huge folder, not only for pose refs & inspo, but also as refs on how the gear is used. Product photos will lay flat, worn gear will always look different!

Make sure to learn how to differentiate airsoft from real military pics, airsofters (except for dedicated reenactors/milsimers) tend to have wacky tastes (ugly, black amazon gear and fake, glowing NVGs,...).

The gear of Damtoys is incredibly accurate & precise, watching videos of the dolls being dressed will also give you an idea on how accs (pouches, glow sticks, radio systems, ...) are attached to the equipment.

My strongest interests lay in SOF, so I'll also collect magazines with expert info, insights & loadout descriptions (K-ISOM (German) SPECIAL OPS (Polish)). To my advantage, I do have friends who are either huge military nerds or in active duty, I'll sometimes ask them questions and learn about the features and (dis)advantages of various pieces of gear. It's a life hack, but you'll achieve your goal either way if you're determined!

After you got a feel for the basics, you can start accommodating knowledge. Study drawing/recognizing the most used equipment first, western modern kits are very repetitive (as the products are so good, they don't need to be replaced). Headsets: 3M Peltor ComTac, Sordin, Ops-Core AMP Helmets: Ops-Core, Crye AirFrame, Team Wendy, MICH 2000 Plate carriers: Crye JPC, Crye AVS, First Spear, Lindnerhof, AGILITE, LBT Slick & 6094 Gloves: Oakleys, PIG FDT Alpha, Mechanix, Petzl, Nomex flight gloves, Outdoor Research Ironsight After that you can start looking up more niche or less iconic brands and gear, you'll be a nerd in no time. I hope this is helpful and I'm sorry for the late reply. If you ever need help or info on something, feel free to dm me on Twitter or Tumblr!

[isawken]

how i got invited to a council meeting for the world's oldest professional clown organization: a reflection on the value of weird niche interests and shooting your shot

it is 2 PM EST. i work from home- i've taken my work laptop to set up in the bedroom along with my personal laptop. i shouldn't be away for more than 30 minutes. call it a late lunch. i've made sure my Zoom icon has been changed from the little gif of a monkey from the video game Ape Escape wiping his ass with a towel over and over again to the far more respectable default icon. i've put my full first name as the username in place of "snart". i am very, very nervous. 2:01 PM. i always wait exactly one minute before hopping into a meeting i'm nervous about. i hate being the first one in a call. the burden of initiating casual conversation is one i particularly hate.

i enter the zoom room key and passcode and enter the meeting.

=================================

those who know me irl or follow me on twitter know that i'm like, really into clowns. i could (and probably will one day) write an entirely different thinkpiece on the reasons why this happened to me. i have not always been Clown Guy. i never hated them, but never loved them, until around 2018 when i started really getting into jesters. the interest in clowns was a lateral move at that point. this makes a lot more sense in my head than in real life, but whatever. you get the point.

i started doing clown make up, getting clown supplies, doing clown photoshoots for fun. a neat little creative outlet. then, as with all of my fleeting interests, i started consuming everything i could about the history of them. and my fleeting interest became a full blown fascination.

one of the more interesting things i learned about was clown eggs. short version: in the 1940s a dude named Stan Bult decided to make a clown organization. and as part of this clown organization he integrated a fun hobby- painting and adorning chicken eggs with the visages of famous clowns, and later, members of the organization itself. these eggs were a staple of the org until Stan's death in the 60s. The practice fell to the wayside for a couple decades, then was rebirthed in the 1980s, with a new group of chairclowns and a new artist. it is once again a staple of the organization, and one i am enamored with. the crazy part about it all is, Stan Bult was a chemist. not even a clown.

=================================

i am on the phone with Dee Dee, the lead chair of the organization. on my application i mentioned extensive social media usage, and she emailed me a few days after approving my application one evening asking if i'd be interested in helping out the organization with their social media presence. i'd be a fucking dunce to say no. she tells me about the current person in charge of their various social medias. she likes her, she says, pausing to add a tone to the next part of her sentence. it's the kind of tone you use when you are expressing dissatisfaction to someone and you're confident they'll commiserate your feeling. "but, she's not even a clown."

i give a very diplomatic (noncommittal) "ah, yeah."

=================================

it is a tuesday summer night and i am drunk, and i am filling out an application for a clown egg before i lose my nerve. i already have my signature make up. i'm actually really proud of it. red lips, blue nose, yellow eyes. red yellow and blue freckles. a red circle, blue square, and yellow triangle pattern above the eyebrows and under the eyes. red yellow and blue checkered button down with cowboy fringe on the chest. a tan stetson given to me by my grandfather. a gaudy clown face bolo tie. i did a pretty good job if i do say so myself.

i send the photos along with the application, 100% confident i will get rebuffed because i'm not a "real" clown. i do get rebuffed, but not in the way i expect. the person fielding applications, Dee Dee, instead gently asks me to submit a membership application first, then she'll be able to send in the order for the clown egg. she says my face design is very cute. i fill out the application and send it back in immediately.

a few days later and i'm sent an email saying my membership fee payment has been processed, and welcome to Clowns International! attached is a PDF of a hilariously simply-edited membership card. it's a sharp, bright red. it features my full name, my clown name, my signature, and my membership number. i'm clown number 22011. text in italics at the bottom of the card says "Members in Good Standing must show cards on request for all CI meetings."

i really hope i can go to one of those, i think to myself, giddy at this eyesore of a rectangle and what it means to me.

=================================

i enter the zoom meeting.

"Oh, there she is!"

i am greeted by a short row of older men and women. i am guessing the youngest aside from me is probably in their 40s. the oldest looks like they could be 80. Dee Dee starts right in.

"So that's what you look like under your makeup! Everybody, this is who I was telling you about, Ken____. She's a bit of a new clown, and she's agreed to help us out with some of our social media."

Dee Dee references a "blog" that i run. i am immensely thankful that she never asked to see my twitter account, and no one else on the call asks either. they just take my expertise on faith. well, faith, and the spiel i give them about how consistent posting will result in increased engagement, and how best to go about engendering social media growth. i throw out plans for posts- history threads, cute memes or art spotlights, posts highlighting members' eggs. the older ones just nod along, but one in particular is very enthusiastic. he tells me he had a tiktok recently get a million views of him and a clown buddy chasing each other in tiny cop cars. i nod along.

the tiktok guy and the guy managing the facebook argue for 30 minutes about whether or not to focus more on social media presence or maintaining the current membership. they go in circles until finally moving on to the horse hospital event (still not sure what that's about) and annual Grimaldi funeral service (i'll make a different post about that one day). then the newsletter. then some other random updates i zone out on. it has been almost 2 hours. i have my work laptop on the bed next to me and am covertly answering emails while the clowns bicker.

turns out even british clowns are exactly as grumpy as regular british people. who knew.

=================================

i am very good at making plans. i love nothing more than making a document detailing actions and ideas in a concise, clear manner. i make a social media treatment, detailing plans for potential posts and even fully written out history blurbs with pictures that can be adapted into threads or instagram posts. i send that out. Dee Dee asks me to follow up with the facebook guy and the twitter/insta girl. the facebook guy just straight up gives me access to twitter. the twitter/insta girl does not respond to any emails.

i've been posting on their twitter account for 6 months now. it's right here if you want to take a look at it. not to brag (lol jk this is definitely a brag), but i've just about doubled their followers in that time. the instagram girl still hasn't given me any log in info, despite my gentle offers to "help" with insta posts. i also notice it has not posted in about 2 years now. i am an interloper, a newcomer. she is the daughter of one of the chairclowns. i am sitting on this information for now. the last thing i want is to instigate a clown war with an old british person. i'd lose for sure.

=================================

i'm not a "real" clown. i don't do parties, i don't work at a circus. i don't think i ever will (i'm only 28 though, who knows what the future holds). all i do is clown around on twitter for people's amusement. but over the last two years i have gained so much understanding and respect for the profession, and all i want to do is share that. i have another board meeting with them soon. i am very curious how this one is going to go. Dee Dee has mentioned a few times how she wants to meet me in person one day. this is all kind of a charade- i am waiting for the day when they realize i'm not an active working clown in the traditional sense, and they kick my civilian ass out. i really hope i get a clown egg before that. it's been about 9 months and no word though, so my hopes aren't exactly high. i go back and forth on whether or not i deserve one. and then i remember that the founder of the whole organization was never a clown. he just really liked them. and it's lasted about 80 years now.

this whole clown thing has been one of the most positive forces in my life over the last few years. i'm sure most of you know how fun it is, to dive headfirst into a new obsession. it's fun to share it with people- most are immediately at least interested if not just bemused when i bring up clown stuff. and it gave me the confidence to apply to a fucking clown organization and get a membership card and become one of their social media managers and holy shit how fucking insane is that??? even if this blows up, even if i get kicked out and never get my egg and it all burns to the ground, that is something i can keep in my heart forever. that is a story i can whip out at any party for the rest of my life, and get chuckles. i may not be a real clown, but i'm definitely addicted to getting chuckles like one.

anyways, the moral of the story here is to apply to whatever your version of a world renown clown organization is. get drunk on a tuesday night and shoot your shot. and even if it doesn't go great you can always make a fun story out of it. or a really, really long post on tumblr.

[ughgoaway]

happy (late) halloween omg ace! i am so glad to see we are all in shambles over the halloween show i swear matty chose violence (quite literally) with the patrick bateman costume like..... will instantly be imprisoned if I voiced my thoughts about those photos bye-

also the halloween blurb???????? mainly just sending this to scream ab how it literally killed me bye this is so stupid but it instantly made me so happy to read after work and oh i am weepy and weak at the idea of annie masterminding a group costume 😭 even the simplest or ur writings i absolutely adore (still not over the massive list of pre reader dad matty blurbs oh that made my DAY i tell u...)

can we just.... the idea of annie begging u to join them trick or treating,,,, and reader meeting mayhem and mayhem holding the candy bucket in his mouth while annie shows u how well she can walk the 'massive horse dog' 😭😭 and the way u just fit in their unit together so well... oh matty absolutely can feel his heart bursting at the sight gn (and also u getting mistaken for being annies mom/his wife multiple times and the way he just cannot handle how oddly right it feels.... bye!)

(bff anon hopes ur doing better ace! just know basically anything u post..... ive basically read bye need to stop lurking like an insane person 💀 xx)

HAPPY VERY LATE HALLOWEEN!!! It is my fault this is so late, I just couldn't stop talking… are we shocked tho? Jail is calling my name with some of the things I said in dms… let alone my thoughts FUCKING HELL. it was too good-

Stop I'm so glad you liked it, I just love them on Halloween so much. The fact that it made you happy after work actually just added 20 years to my life I'm so glad!!!! I made your day?!?!? Please I'm gonna vomit. You are so sweet and kind. Those ideas were all so fucking good, a google doc has been created bc I loved them so much. You are a genius truly.

Literally, this idea has been living in my mind rent-free in my mind ever since you sent it. MAYHEM HOLDING THE BUCKET YOU'RE KIDDING. Any mayhem content and I am obsessed (hence the mayhem reference in the actual fic), but this image has me sobbing.

(lots more insanity below the cut)

I am gonna alter what you said so slightly bc teacher girlie is PROFESSIONAL and she has work/life boundaries… sometimes… let's say Annie does BEG you to come trick or treating with them and you have to break it to her that you definitely cannot do that but you hope she has the best time ever. “But miss y/n I want you to meet my doggy, he's coming with us. He's gonna be scooby doo! My daddy is shaggy, and I’m Daphne. He's trying to get my uncle George to be Fred, but he wants to have a party with my auntie Charli. They are gonna be-” You have to cut in before Annie gives you a detailed list of everyone she knows costumes (but also, isn't the Scooby gang iconic for them all?!). 

You, of course, have a pumpkin out and are waiting for trick-or-treaters and have the full-size chocolate bars because you always wanted to be that house. A knock at your door happens, and you come running to it in your Wizard of Oz costume. Who is behind that door but the whole Healy family? Matty just makes a noise of shock that he later over-thinks massively, “but Ross, it was such a weird noise. I basically choke-coughed at her. No stop laughing-” Ross eventually assures Matty you didn't notice. 

You did and later tease him about it when you finally get together, “I swear I had to actually bite the inside of my cheek to not laugh, it was so ridiculous” and Matty is like “Can you blame me?? You were in that cute little dress, and you had those plaits with the bows on the end. You were asking me to choke on thin air when you dress like that, sweetheart.” And you're like… “well I think I still have that costume in my wardrobe upstairs if you'd be interested in-”. Immediately, his face lights up, “WHICH ONE? THE BIG WARDROBE OR THE SMALL ONE?” he shouts whilst dragging you up the stairs as you giggle uncontrollably.

Anyway, sorry I got distracted, HALLOWEEN! They're reasonably late in the night, and somehow Matty gatherers himself enough to talk to you, “ohmygod hi!” he says and awkwardly waves, another moment he thinks about far too often (“Why couldn't I do anything normal around you.” and you reassure him “dont worry, babe. it was cute, I swear”) 

Annie perks up and shows you mayhem who just adores you, wagging his tail and you bend down to his level and he's licking all over your face and you just can't stop laughing, matty is mortified. “Oh god y/n I’m so sorry he isn't normally this friendly, very weird actually… but please just- oh mayhem please can you stop-” and he's tugging at the lead trying not to die of embarrassment.

You insist it is fine, and Annie begs you to walk him “Just for a little bit miss y/n! Because then you can see how strong he is and then how strong I am because I walk him all by myself” This comment has you looking at Matty behind her who just shakes his head, confirming that this, in fact, is not true and just another Annie exaggeration.

You agree, grab your bag and come to walk with them for a bit, only after confirming with Matty about 30 times that it's really okay, “are you sure I do not want to intrude” you ask and Matty just dies at your kind eyes looking up at him whilst cuddling mayhem.

“Of course! I'm sure Dorothy would be good friends with the Scooby gang. Please, walk with us” and he offers his hand to pull you up. It's the first time you've really touched, and god, the spark flying thing may seem like a fairytale, but you both swear in that moment that you actually get a shock from the touch. Of course, his hand lingers a little longer than necessary as you stare at each other just vaguely holding hands. Your brain catches up, and you start moving, but god, you wish that moment could've dragged on forever, as does Matty.

As soon as you and Matty get properly talking, you end up walking with them for a longgg time. One house in particular though makes a mistake that lives on in infamy in your relationship in the future.

“oh god, that one house that thought we were together, that moment was on replay in my head for weeks after. The idea that someone else could see us together just confirmed to me I was head over heels for you, and then sadly solidified that it couldn't happen after you corrected her and I was sharply reminded you were my daughter's teacher”

Maybe it's an older woman who opens the door and jumps at mayhem originally but is soon cooing over him and giving him milk bones, “What a pretty boy” and Annie is giggling and telling the woman all about her “horse dog” (nice reference btw bff anon I love u).

Soon, she looks up and actually addresses you and Matty, “Sorry! You must be mum and dad. What a lovely little girl you've raised, and what a beautiful couple you are! Reminds me of me and my husband, constantly talking and laughing” You and matty just stand there open-mouthed like fish for a good few seconds. Annie is, of course, laughing hysterically. You both stutter out explanations, “Oh no-” “Oh I'm actually her teacher. It's a funny story so they knocked and i was like-” Of course, the woman apologised profusely, but the comment haunts you and Matty for WEEKS.

Perhaps a few more people coo at your “lovely family” and perhaps you just… stop correcting them…

Cut to Matty talking to himself (and mayhem) at 3 a.m. in the kitchen whilst making tea, “No it's totally normal people thought that. Man + woman + child + dog = family. and so what we stopped correcting them?? That's normal too… We just got sick of it. And it's also fine that it made me feel weird. It was a weird situation. Anyone would get butterflies at someone saying they're a nice couple. Right, mayhem?” and Mayhem somehow gives him a look that says “Really?” and Matty sighs and nods.

I think this might be the moment he goes “fuck.” and realises he really does like you. And he just… freaks out. Calls Ross and talks a million miles an hour.

I'M SO SORRY I LITERALLY CANT SHUT UP, WHEN WILL I STOP?!

I am doing much better and I literally cannot believe someone likes my bullshit enough to read my posts, I am genuinely obsessed with you?!?! KEEP LURKING I LOVE IT! I LOVE YOU!!!

blurb masterlist here!!

[dustedmagazine]

Listening Post: Kim Gordon

Kim Gordon has long been one of rock’s female icons, one of a tiny handful of women to get much play in Michael Azzerad’s underground-defining Our Band Could Be Your Life and a mainstay in the noise-rock monolith Sonic Youth. It’s hard to imagine that quintessential dude rock band without Gordon in front, dwarfed by her bass or spitting tranced out, pissed off verses over the storm of feedback.

Yet Gordon’s trajectory has been, if anything, even more fascinating since Sonic Youth’s demise in 2011. A visual artist first — she studied art at the Otis College of Art and Design before joining the band — she continues to paint and sculpt and create. She’s had solo art shows at established galleries in London and New York, most recently at the 303 Gallery in New York City. A veteran of indie films including Gus van Zant’s Last Days and Todd Haynes I’m Not There, she has also continued to act sporadically, appearing in the HBO series Girls and on an episode of Portlandia. Her memoir, Girl in a Band, came out in 2015.

But Gordon has remained surprisingly entrenched in indie music over the last decade. Many critics, including a few at Dusted, consider her Body Head, collaboration with Bill Nace the best of the post-Sonic Youth musical projects. The ensemble has now produced two EPs and three full-lengths. Gordon has also released two solo albums, which push her iconic voice into noisier, more hip hop influenced directions. We’re centering this listening post around The Collective, Gordon’s second and more recent solo effort, which comes out on Matador on March 8th, but we’ll likely also be talking about her other projects as well.

Intro by Jennifer Kelly

Jennifer Kelly: I missed No Home in 2019, so I was somewhat surprised by The Collective’s abrasive, beat-driven sound though I guess you could make connections to Sonic Youth’s Cypress Hill collaboration?

The more I listen to it, though, the more it makes sense to me. I’ve always liked the way Gordon plays with gender stereotypes, and “I’m a Man” certainly follows that trajectory. What are you guys hearing in The Collective?

Jonathan Shaw: I have only listened through the entire record once, but I am also struck by its intensities. Sort of silly to be surprised by that, given so many of the places she has taken us in the past: noisy, dangerous, dark. But there's an undercurrent of violence to these sounds that couples onto the more confrontational invocations and dramatizations of sex. It's a strong set of gestures. I like the record quite a bit.

Bill Meyer: I'm one of those who hold Body/Head to be the best effort of the post-Sonic Youth projects, but I'll also say that it's very much a band that creates a context for Gordon to do something great, not a solo effort. I was not so taken with No Home, which I played halfway through once upon its release and did not return to until we agreed to have this discussion. I've played both albums through once now, and my first impression is that No Home feels scattered in a classic post-band-breakup project fashion — “let's do a bit of this and that and see what sticks.” The Collective feels much more cohesive sonically, in a purposeful, “I'm going to do THIS” kind of way.

Jonathan Shaw: RE Jennifer's comment about “I'm a Man”: Agreed. The sonics are very noise-adjacent, reminding me of what the Body has been up to lately, or deeper underground acts like 8 Hour Animal or Kontravoid's less dancy stuff. Those acts skew masculine (though the Body has taken pains recently to problematize the semiotics of those photos of them with lots of guns and big dogs...). Gordon's voice and lyrics make things so much more explicit without ever tipping over into the didactic. And somehow her energy is in tune with the abrasive textures of the music, but still activates an ironic distance from it. In the next song, “Trophies,” I love it when she asks, “Will you go bowling with me?” The sexed-up antics that follow are simultaneously compelling and sort of funny. Rarely has bowling felt so eroticized.

Jennifer Kelly: I got interested in the beats and did a YouTube dive on some of the other music that Justin Raisen has been involved with. He's in an interesting place, working for hip hop artists (Lil Yachty, Drake), pop stars (Charli XCX) and punk or at least punk adjacent artists (Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Viagra Boys), but nothing I've found is as raw and walloping as these cuts.

“The Candy House” is apparently inspired by Jennifer Egan's The Candy House, which is about a technology that enables people to share memories... Gordon is pretty interested in phones and communications tech and how that's changing art and human interaction.

Andrew Forell: My immediate reaction to the beats was oh, The Bug and JK Flesh, in particular the MachineEPs by the former and Sewer Bait by the latter. Unsurprisingly, as Jonathan says, she sounds right at home within that kind of dirty noise but is never subsumed by it

Jennifer Kelly: I don't have a deep reference pool in electronics, but it reminded me of Shackleton and some of the first wave dub steppers. Also, a certain kind of late 1990s/early aughts underground hip hop like Cannibal Ox and Dalek.

Bryon Hayes: Yeah, I hear some Dalek in there, too. Also, the first Death Grips mixtape, Ex-Military.

It's funny, I saw the track title “I'm a Man,” and my mind immediately went to Bo Diddley for some reason, I should have known that Kim would flip the script, and do it in such a humorous way. I love how she sends up both the macho country-lovin’ bros and the sensitive metrosexual guys. It's brilliant!

This has me thinking about “Kool Thing”, and how Chuck D acts as the ‘hype man’ to Kim Gordon in that song. I'm pretty sure that was unusual for hip hop at the time. Kim's got a long history of messing with gender stereotypes.

Bill Meyer: Gordon did a couple videos for this record, and she starred her daughter Coco in both of them. The one for “I'm A Man” teases out elements of gender fluidity, how that might be expressed through clothing, and different kinds of watching. I found the video for “Bye Bye” more interesting. All the merchandise that's listed in the video turns out to be a survival kit, one that I imagine that Gordon would know that she has to have to get by. The protagonist of the video doesn't know that, and their unspoken moment in a car before Coco runs again was poignant in a way that I don't associate with her work. And of messing with hip hop!

Tim Clarke: “Bye Bye” feels like a companion to The Fall’s “Dr Buck’s Letter.”

Bill Meyer: From The Unutterable? I'll have to a-b them.

Tim Clarke: That’s the one.

Jonathan Shaw: All of these comments make me think of the record’s title, and the repeated line in “The Candy House”: “I want to join the collective.” Which one? The phone on the record’s cover nods toward our various digital collectives — spaces for communication and expression, and spaces for commerce, all of which seem to be harder and harder to tell apart. A candy house, indeed. Why is it pink? Does she have a feminine collective in mind? A feminine collective unconscious? The various voices and lyric modes on the record suggest that's a possibility. For certain women, and for certain men working hard to understand women, Gordon has been a key member of that collective for decades.

Jennifer Kelly: The title is also the title of a painting from her last show in New York.

The holes are cell phone sized.

You can read about the show here, but here's a representative quote: “The iPhone promises freedom, and control over communication,” she says. “It’s an outlet of self-expression, and an escape and a distraction from the bigger picture of what’s going on in the world. It’s also useful for making paintings.”

Gordon is a woman, and a woman over 70 at that — by any measure an underrepresented perspective in popular culture. However, I’d caution against reading The Collective solely as a feminist statement. “I'm a Man,” for instance, is told from the perspective of an incel male, an act of storytelling and empathy not propaganda. My sense is that Gordon is pretty sick of being asked, “What's it like to be a girl in a band?” (per “Sacred Trickster”) and would like, maybe, to be considered as an artist.

It's partly a generational thing. I'm a little younger than she is, but we both grew up in the patriarchy and mostly encountered gender as an external restriction.

As an aside, one of my proudest moments was when Lucas Jensen interviewed me about what it was like to be a freelance music writer, anonymously, and Robert Christgau wrote an elaborate critique of the piece that absolutely assumed I was a guy. If you're not on a date or getting married or booking reproductive care, whose business is it what gender you are?

There, that's a can of worms, isn't it?

Jonathan Shaw: Feminine isn't feminist. I haven't listened nearly closely enough to the record to hazard an opinion about that. More important, it seems to me the masculine must be in the feminine unconsciousness, and the other way around, too. Precisely because femininity has been used as a political weapon, it needs imagining in artistic spaces. Guess I also think those terms more discursively than otherwise: there are male authors who have demonstrated enormous facility with representing femininity. James, Joyce, Kleist, and so on. Gordon has always spoken and sung in ways that transcend a second-wave sort of feminine essence. “Shaking Hell,” “PCH,” the way she sings “I Wanna Be Your Dog.”

Jennifer Kelly: Sure, she has always been shape-shifter artistically.

The lyrics are super interesting, but almost obliterated by noise. I’m seeing a connection to our hyperconnected digital society where everything is said but it’s hard to listen and focus.

Bill Meyer: Concrete guy that I am, I’ve found myself wishing I had a lyric sheet even though her voice is typically the loudest instrument in the mix.

Andrew Forell: Yes, that sense of being subsumed in the white noise of (dis)information and opinion feels like the utopian ideal of democratizing access has become a cause and conduit of alienation in which the notion of authentic voices has been rendered moot. It feels integral to the album as a metaphor

Christian Carey: How much of the blurring of vocals (good lyrics — mind you) might involve Kim’s personal biography, I wonder? From her memoirs, we know how much she wished for a deflection of a number of things, most having to do with Thurston and the disbandment of SY.

Thurston was interviewed recently and said that he felt SY would regroup and be able to be professional about things. He remarked that it better be soon: SY at eighty wouldn’t be a good look!

Andrew Forell: And therein lies something essential about why that could never happen

Ian Mathers: I know I’m far in the minority here (and elsewhere) because I’ve just never found Sonic Youth that compelling, despite several attempts over the years to give them another chance. And for specifically finding Thurston Moore to be an annoying vocal presence (long before I knew anything about his personal life, for what it's worth). So, I’m in no hurry to see them reunite, although I do think it would be both funny and good if everyone except Moore got back together.

Having not kept up with Gordon much post-SY beyond reading and enjoying her book, I wasn’t sure what to expect from this record. After a couple of listens, I’m almost surprised how much I like it. Even though I’m lukewarm on SY’s music, she’s always been a commanding vocal presence and lyricist and that hasn’t changed here (I can echo all the praise for “I’m a Man,” and also “I was supposed to save you/but you got a job” is so bathetically funny) and I like the noisier, thornier backing she has here. I also think the parts where the record gets a bit more sparse (“Shelf Warmer”) or diffuse (“Psychic Orgasm”) still work. I've enjoyed seeing all the comparisons here, none of which I thought of myself and all of which makes sense to me. But the record that popped into my head as I listened was Dead Rider’s Chills on Glass. Similar beat focus, “thick”/distorted/noisy/smeared production, declamatory vocals. I like that record a lot, so it's not too surprising I'm digging this one.

Jennifer Kelly: I loved Sonic Youth but have zero appetite for the kind of nostalgia trip, just the hits reunion tour that getting back together would entail.

Jonathan Shaw: Yeah, no thanks to that.

RE Christian's comment: Not sure I see deflection so much as the impossibility of integration. We are all many, many selves, always have been. Digital communications interfaces and social media have just lifted it to another level of experience. Gordon sez, “I don't miss my mind.” Not so much a question of missing it in the emotional/longing sense, more so acknowledging that phrases like “my mind” have always been meaningless. Now we partition experience and identity into all of these different places, and we sign those pieces of ourselves over, to Zuck and the algorithms. We know it. We do it anyways, because it's the candy house, full of sweets and pleasures that aren't so good for us, but are really hard to resist. “Come on, sweets, take my hand...”

Bill Meyer: I would not mind hearing all of those SY songs I like again, can’t lie, although I don’t think that I’d spend Love Earth Tour prices to hear them. But given the water that has passed under the bridge personally, and the length of time since anyone in the band has collaborated creatively (as opposed to managing the ongoing business of Sonic Youth, which seems to be going pretty well), a SY reunion could only be a professionally presented piece of entertainment made by people who have agreed to put aside their personal differences and pause their artistic advancement in order to make some coin. There may be good reasons to prioritize finances. Maybe Thurston and/or Kim wants to make sure that they don’t show up on Coco’s front door, demanding to move their record or art collection into her basement, in their dotage. And Lee’s a man in his late 60s with progeny who are of an age to likely have substantial student loan debt. But The Community is just the kind of thing they’d have to pause. It feels like the work of someone who is still curious, questioning, commenting. It's not just trying to do the right commercial thing.

Justin Cober-Lake: I’m finding this one to be a sort of statement album. I’d stop short of calling it a concept album, but there seems to be a thematic center. I think a key element of the album is the way that it looks for... if not signal and noise, at least a sense of order and comprehensibility in a chaotic world. Gordon isn’t even passing judgment on the world — phones are bad, phones are good, phones make art, etc. But there’s a sense that our world is increasingly brutal, and we hear that not just in the guitars, but in the beats, and the production. “BYE BYE” really introduces the concept. Gordon’s leaving (and we can imagine this is autobiographical), but she’s organizing everything she needs for a new life. “Cigarettes for Keller” is a heartbreaking line, but she moves on, everything that makes up a life neatly ordered next to each other, iBook and medications in the same line. It reminds me of a Hemingway character locking into the moment to find some semblance of control in the chaos.

Getting back to gender, there’s a funny line at the end: one of the last things she packs is a vibrator. I'm not sure if we're to read this as a joke, a comment on the necessity of sexuality in a life full of transitory moments, as a foreshadowing of the concepts we’ve discussed, or something else. The next item (if it’s something different) is a teaser, which could be a hair care product or something sexual (playing off — or with — the vibrator). Everything's called into question: the seriousness of the track, the gender/sexuality ideas, what really matters in life. Modern gadgets, life-sustaining medicines, and sex toys all get equal rank. That tension really adds force to the song.

Coming out of “BYE BYE,” it's easy to see a disordered world that sounds extremely noisy, but still has elements we can comprehend within the noise. I don’t want to read the album reductively and I don't think it's all about this idea, but it's something that, early on in my listening, I find to be a compelling aspect of it.

[hylianengineer]

I've been having a lot of feelings about the cultural aspects of food recently. Usually, this is a topic that makes me angry because my food allergies and intolerances keep me from participating in a lot of it, but I've had a lot of more positive - if bittersweet - experiences lately.

My grandfather died of cancer just over a month ago. It doesn't feel like it's been that long - I still catch myself talking about him like he's here. But when he got the diagnosis, my sibling and I made cinnamon rolls using his mom's recipe - my great-grandma's. This is The Iconic Dessert in my family. Great-grandma Gladys was a restaurant owner and fantastic cook, and many of her recipes have outlived her by decades already, but this is everyone's favorite. Normally I make it gluten-free and vegan to accommodate various family members' dietary restrictions, but this was 100% traditional, as close to how his mom would've made it as we could manage.

It's been nearly two weeks since the funeral and I'm still eating leftovers. In Midwestern culture - and many others - when shit hits the fan, you bring food. Right after he died, everyone was bringing food to my grandma. More than she could eat, and it was a little overwhelming, but I still find the gesture sweet. Because that's just what we do in our culture. Someone dies, and we make food. So the grieving family doesn't have to. To keep our hands and minds busy. Because we have to find some way to express all the love and pain we're feeling - and so we make food. Or buy food, nowadays - my cousins showed up unannounced with Kentucky Fried Chicken, which I previously could not have imagined my grandmother eating. (She has a home economics degree and the closest she normally comes to eating fast food is Chipotle.) Desperate times and desperate measures, I guess?

One of the fondest memories I have of my grandpa during the last few months of his life is watching him eat the apple pie I made him, with apples off the tree in my backyard. I wasn't expecting to find apples there, it was July and unseasonably early for them, but then this tree has always been a bit odd. I picked the biggest, least buggy apples I could find and then spent hours cutting them up and painstakingly carving worms out of them. It was honestly pretty gross, but there is nothing I would have rather been doing. He didn't have much of an appetite by then, but he did eat the pie with more enthusiasm than anything else in those days. My dad took a photo of him eating a slice of it and it's the last one I have of him - I treasure that photo. It was the last time I saw him alive, and the last thing I said to him was 'see ya.' None of us thought we were out of time, but if we had to be, that's a pretty damn good last memory.

[mischas]

Hi! Not sure if you've talked about this but did B and M knew each other before the show? What did their timeline look like? Thank you for always replying!

Hiya :)

No, they didn't know each other beforehand. They met at their chemistry read which took place a couple of weeks before shooting the pilot, so probably late February 2003. Ben was the last principal actor cast and iirc was officially cast like a week or two before they shot the pilot.

I can give you a rough timeline of the bare bones of things during s1. I have a more detailed timeline because I'm insane and curious and hyperfixate on things. And I know that sounds weird and cagey lol but I always try to answer things as best as I can. I've spent a ~lot~ of time putting things together and combing dead sites, reading old tabloids, etc. And MB sometimes speaks in hyperbole so when she says "right out of the gate" I don't necessarily take that to mean during the pilot shoot. But I also don't know. I think these two have sparks on overdrive during the iconic "Whoever you want me to be" scene and I think everyone on set could easily tell. So.

Late February 2003: meet at chemistry test

Mid-March: film the pilot

Mid-May: upfronts in New York, followed by the first Camp Gallagher with all the regulars, resume filming soon after

June: MB mentions going to cast dinners

Late July: premiere party (these pics have always been SO couple-y); think they're filming 106 at this point

Early August: teen choice awards, the pilot airs 3 days after this. so that's 3 months of the cast partying and living in relative anonymity; MB is a rising it girl (and was before the show) but not papped

September 8: MB on Kimmel, her first late night talk show and she is so sweet and clearly not yet media trained

September 12: Ben's 25th birthday

Late October: Ben/Mischa/Adam go to New York on a press trip (YM party/TRL); TRL is the loudest piece of evidence in the world

December 4: Motorola. Scratch what I just said. Motorola is the biggest piece of evidence in the world; BM are quite literally on the cover of Us Weekly two and a half weeks later because of Motorola shenanigans. A blogger at E says they've been together for months; the final scene of 115 is shot earlier this day

December 10: Billboard Awards in Vegas. At this point AR are clearly also dating but both couples are on their best behavior

January 24, 2004: Mischa's 18th birthday. Tabloid says Ben was there with Rachel/Melinda/Samaire but that Adam missed the party. At this point in time tabloids barely talked about the cast and had little reason to lie. So many tabloids from this era ended up being true which is just... wild

January 25: Golden Globes. BM are pictured together, holding hands dancing, etc; MB and her rep deny the rumors in the press immediately after

Which brings me to the breakup. Or at least a break. A lot of couples in this era made their debuts as couples once the girl turned 18 (think Wilmer/Lindsay) so it's been assumed forever that that's what the GGs were doing. But for MB to quickly deny it still tells me the wheels fell off very quickly with them. I assume there was a BUNCH of weirdness being thrown at her from all sides about turning 18 too. All of this is so so sooooo insane to me still btw

February 24: MB denies dating Ben to Ellen and meets Brandon the same day this airs

Early March: MB starts dating Brandon

March 9: Paley Fest; AR/BM deny dating rumors, Ben opines about the press invasions into his personal life, says he wishes the rumors were true; they are filming 124 at this time

March 11: MB walks a red carpet with Brandon

March-April is Mischa/Brandon PDA 24/7 and I imagine TPTB/Ben are extremely pissed at her for it

April 20: s1 finale party (127 finished filming a few days before); BM do not pose for photos together

Aaaaaand this is just s1