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#i'm just yapping at this point lmao
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Just finished rewatching We're All Doomed
And DAMN does it hit hard on the second watch.
Something that really resonated with me was the idea of consistently not being happy, but not being devastated. Of always waiting for the future. Of essentially being the "meh" emoji. And I used to really suffer with this, then I transitioned (yay), and was fine, for a while.
But recently it feels like I'm grasping at straws to find anything that will keep me going, just these last few months until I finally finish school and move out. I can feel myself sinking further and further into this hole and what's worse is that I know I'm sinking, but don't know how to prevent it.
So I've taken to creating. I'm consistently writing 1000 words a day, almost every day. I'm starting to make videos. I'm doing whatever the hell I can to create something worthwhile while I'm here, because I don't feel like I'm doing anything of worth unless I'm creating. And that's helping, a bit.
But Dan reminded me of something essential that I think I'd forgotten, and it's that we need to find the beauty in everyday life. And yeah, it's cliché. Yeah, everyone says that. But it's true.
Nobody is measured solely upon their production. I am not worthy just because I create things, even though it makes me happy. While it's tempting, it's not healthy to shut myself in my room and work myself to death until 2am every night.
Taking walks helps with this. Participating in school activities helps. Playing music helps. Reading helps.
I think it's healthy and productive to find a project to work on, for my own sake to have something other than school work I can feel productive about. I've realized I will never be happy in life unless I am creating.
But I'm sure Dan's been there, and I have a feeling he came out the other side a little worse for wear. I can't create things unless I care for myself and find the joy in everyday life, which can be so hard when every day feels the same, every day feels like I'm just waiting for the next thing.
Being alive is a gift. And i thank We're All Doomed for reminding me of that because I needed to remember.
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buttercup-barf · 4 months
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Under the cut are mostly self-insert doodles of decreasing quality. Again, not much directly tied to Team Fortress 2. Might as well toss these out while I have no access to my puter. Much yapping under the cut and in the tags incoming.
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Another self-insert, this time less of a "here's me as a tenth class" and more of a "here's my game experiences translated into the class I would take the place of". The Cleaner. Although I guess they could still be wearing either suit. It doesn't matter that much.
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That one Convict's Case taunt with Backup would be extremely funny, because the man would be on the verge of a breakdown (he does not want to go to jail so bad you have no idea). The second image- I owe no explanation. You know what I am. You see the pattern with my favourites.
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The duality of the man. Resting face versus "just heard you express interest in religion/Russian folklore" face. He's not that hard to make friends with, when you pull him away from all the explosions.
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Some doodles of trying to figure his face out. Unfortunately, the more I stare at him, the more I worry that he looks like A Certain Guy With The Last Name "Kazarin", and the fear of never being original in my life caught up to me.
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Don't look at me, don't perceive me, I refuse to explain any of my actions to you.
#team fortress 2#tf2#that's it that's the only tags i am putting this in. maybe someday i will have the balls to do more but for now that's about it#while i have the chance - and since posts with more of my yapping in the tags don't pop in people's feeds much - i might as well ramble-#-about these guys here. self-inserts or not i'm projecting only half of my bullshit on each one of them. creativity 👍#backup is tall and pale and has sharp canines and more of a dull brown hair colour with tired grey eyes. no amount of babyface or soft-#-hands can really help a motherfucker when he's grimacing so much because he just Hates being around half the people on the team.#cleaner meanwhile is on the shorter side and has constantly flushed skin and brighter colours and whatnot. you can't see it because of the-#-mask most of the time but they do smile a lot more and have a more cheery disposition towards life and see the whole team as their friends!#backup transitioned fully (albeit not very legally lmao) and is scared shitless of not being seen as a man although the last time that ever-#-came up was years ago. he holds onto his last name as part of the heritage he loves and loathes at the same time - attached to his culture-#-and religion and bloodline while also resentful of his family and the regime he knows someone else on the team suffered under.#cleaner just kinda binds and calls it a day. he only does it to confuse the team because while he doesn't identify with being a girl he-#-loves the confused looks his epic gender reveal moment gets. they do not remember their family name or where they grew up or what even got-#-them to this kind of mental state. and he's chill with it he values the here and now way more than some dark edgy backstory.#backup despite trying to be an honest man is afraid of vulnerability as well. he stubbornly refuses to express love towards certain people-#-lest they feel disgusted and turn away. he's afraid of consequences afraid of losing the people he loves afraid of his ''interests'' being-#-what drives them away. it doesn't by the way and he just wasted time being a cold indecisive loser for several months lmao#cleaner wears a suit that hides all of them yes but they pretty much never lie. he is always his truest self and he can always just burn-#-people who don't like him enough to make it a problem. they are a lot more comfortable indulging in their interests - be they innocent-#-and juvenile or violent and dangerous. he is quite open with his affection and his fascinations that backup would rather keep secret.#i want to establish that these two can only exist in separate universes because they both have feelings towards the funny assistant lady-#-and the funny inventor guy (selfshipping for the winnn) and would fight over those two. cleaner would win by the way#it's also a really funny point of comparison. cleaner is objectively more fucked up than backup and still managed to be more normal about-#-their feelings and live as a healthier and happier person than that guy. comedic gold honestly#OKAY I'M DONE if you read up to here you get uhhh a cookie :-)
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nosygay · 2 days
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btw when you see me go on a fuckton of rants about them being stupid and shitty to me this is actually a lovely thing bc nature (me) is healing and realising just how abnormal that is :) because the world is full of love and beauty bitch!! my friends are the coolest people on earth, strangers are kind for no reason, the birds are chirping and fuck off my cat is drooling on my neck oh no oeughh
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boyccubus · 1 month
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i feel like i love my identity because a lot of my identity is tied to my beliefs and sexuality. like,, i'm not just a guy. my gender is goth, my gender is sapphic and sapphillean. my gender is ego death and horror and hyperose. everything about me is my gender, it's like a patch quilt. so random and clashy, yet perfect for each other and palatable
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confinesofmy · 1 month
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ohhhh my hair has been looking like shit unstyled lately because i quit using a towel to dry it (creates frizz, yanks hair, etc etc) so i would just brush it to detangle it and then let it slowly airdry over the course of several hours, weighed down by its own moisture. so i'd get some layers straight-ish, all layers frizz. this time i scrunched like normal and used a t-shirt to dry it like i was trying to form a cast but with no product and my hair ALMOST looks like normal. like, it looks like day 3 hair. curly but frizzy and with a bunch of fucked up curl patterns. can't believe it took me this long to do it this way. not being taught how to care for your hair pattern will have you doing wild shit your whole life i guess.
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natewriteslol · 3 months
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Hiii! I read your works alot because it's one of the active twst writers I see (I'm a dead writer myself LMAO)
Savanaclaw, riddle and Azul with a reader who's cheery and often bouncing with optimism that always has the mind boggling stories to tell. What do you mean that they literally man handed a lion because it won't stop messing around? What do you mean they were in a pit full of scorpions because they accidentally rolled down a hill? What do you mean they literally escaped a real decapitation (hinting towards Riddle LMAO) because he put one spoon full of herbs instead of a teaspoon? Like— they could go on forever! And the thing is, they have evidence of it.
Thank youuu 🫶🫶🫶🫶
A/N: Thank u so much I've been trying to stay on top of writing but it can get so hard!! But I really do try to keep this fandom alive w some goodies, anyways I'll stop yapping heres
Savanaclaw, Azul, and Riddle with a cheery, adventurous Reader!
Leona:
He didn't exactly always question your storytelling before he got to get to know you as he would rather spend time sleeping. But it seemed like literally everyone was captivated by your latest entertaining experience.
As you guys' relationship grew, it got to the point where he couldn't ignore you dropping an insane piece of lore about yourself.
"Yeah, I was accidentally poisoned before-"
"What did you just say-"
"It's okay though, the gnome did apologize and I got my stomach pumped but everything is all good!"
He makes sure to keep an eye out on you, and honestly your stories are the main thing that keep him awake during the day especially because they're real. And although it may seem he's nonchalant when you message him about where you're at, Leona always makes sure to respond as he does care.
Jack:
As your first friend at NRC and protector kinda, he would get paranoid when you would sometimes disappear. However at first Jack believed you were an independent person, and wasn't up to any nefarious activity.
Until you came back with a gorgon head in a brown sack where he was studying in the autobiography section in the library talking about that you accidentally defeated it.
He screamed in terror upon seeing the thing, causing for him to be shushed completely by offended students. But he could not care less due to the sliced head within the sack, however he quickly took you both outside and you being you didn't exactly see the problem in this situation.
Once you where in an open area near NRC's well he began to question you.
"Why-? A-And how? Why are you like this, do you know how much danger you were in?!"
"To answer all your questions in order, 1. I got lost and she had a huge problem with me, 2. I got scared and ran with my eyes closed with the sword and BOOM, just clean off, and yes I know I was in a lot of danger and I'm very sorry for not responding to your calls."
He was way too scared for both you and himself to respond and learned his lesson to keep an eye on you more.
Ruggie:
Ruggie always told you that he was a "see it to believe it" type person and he was never really believing your wild tales you would tell even if you came back with a little souvenir. He always just assumed you were pulling his leg for a bit.
Until he texted you one day over Magicam, since it was a slow day at the Savannaclaw dorm. Only for you to reply with a video, making him click on it not knowing what he should expect.
Queue you to being in an extremely angry dragon's mouth,
"Hey Ruuggieee! I'll get back to you later since I'm in a pickle right now, but I promise I'll call you when I'm done!"
He nearly passed out upon the sight because what in all of the sevens' names doing inside of that deadly beast. The beast man ended up walking to Ignihyde to possibly get Idia to track your location based on your I.P address, only for his phone to ring just as he was about to blab about what happened.
It was you!
He quickly picked up his phone to hear your excited voice blaring on the phone, "I told you I would call you back! Anyways, come over to my house I have something to show you."
You ended up bringing home a dragon's tooth and treasure and while Ruggie was overjoyed, he reprimanded you for being irresponsible.
But he wouldn't mind it too much if you brought back goodies like this just make sure to let him know so he could tag along.
Azul:
You were running late to a meeting about mending a contract between students he scammed. Since you know him quite well and is a good friend of his, the students thought your kind hearted nature could persuade him out of binding them to the Monstro Lounge for an entire semester.
He written in a small font on the contract that if you were over 15 minutes late, you would be unable to host this meeting and the deal would be off completely. The white haired boy glanced at the clock as the time ticked and he would have his own free work force.
Until you had to come 30 seconds from it being called off completely out of breath.
"Sorry Azul! But I got you a little present from the desert," you said dropping down in your seat and digging through this brown sack.
The ancient golden scarab of the Hot Sands.
"Is that-"
"The golden scarab included with the jewel eyes? Yup and I did it all by myself!" You said, extremely proud of yourself.
"Do you understand the value of what you have in your hand? And what were you doing all the way out there by yourself I just talked to you a day ago and that is damn near a 5 day journey?"
"I did this since I did the calculations and about an 1/4 of the wages that the students owe you is in the value of this jewel bug here. So if I split the riches with you, will you let them go?"
You did all of this for some measly students you knew in passing? How could you jeopardize yourself like that?
But he at the same time, respected you greatly and for your trouble and kind heart.
However, he told you to not go anywhere without telling him.
And no of course it's not because he cares about you and was scared once you told him where you went...of course not...
Riddle:
Is the first person who noticed you were gone because he likes to keep tabs on his friends. He didn't know what to expect but the red head just believed you were busy.
So, Riddle decided to shoot you a text as everyone was hanging out in the Heartslabyul dorm and he really wanted to see you.
'Good afternoon, Y/N please feel free to stop by the Heartslabyul dorm. Your company is very appreciated :)'
You quickly texted back, 'Hey Riddle! I'm gonna swing by with a surprise ;D'
He smiled at his phone, unknowing as to what you were going to bring by. Thinking you might bring by muffins or a sweet treat as such.
Not the sword of Excalibur.
You opened the door, bursting in loudly with the enormous sword slung on your back as Grim carried two sacks of gold. Everyone was completely flabbergasted, as the sword had been known to be a mythological thing not yet proven like the fountain of youth.
But there it was on your back as you grinned.
Turned out you picked up your first job at an exploration company and they sent you on a death wish mission to get this damn sword. And in contrary to what everyone believed would be the outcome, you succeeded and retrieved the artifact.
Unfortunately for you, you ended up being scolded for about two hours straight for being completely irresponsible by Riddle with some chime ins from your friends.
He admired your intense tenacity and bravery, but Riddle was super worried about you whenever you take on a quest. He forced you to have a partner whenever you go on missions and call him every time you reached an important point to make sure you were alive and safe.
"So... you really do care about me-"
"By the great seven- YES ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU COULD'VE GOTTEN KILLED IN THAT DAMN ENCHANTED FOREST-"
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perrigoaway · 6 months
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Part 2 to a comic I made a little over a month ago! I was going to make it for white day, but I was a bit late TT see the first part here
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more thoughts beneath the cut, as always!
Hi! so as I said before, im a little late for when I wanted to post this. I realized it was white day a few days ago and thought it would be fun to make a little comic with Apollo's attempt at revenge! I started it ON white day, then I realized there was NO way I was getting it out then whoops! Here it is now >:)
I worked on this and it was actually driving me nuts, I continuously thought "does this comic even make sense at this point?" hopefully it does TT
I do want to say though, I went into this thinking that no matter how I made things, I wanted it to MOSTLY backfire on Apollo TT SORRY APOLLO LOVE YOU TT I just think he would have really odd ideas on how to get back at someone. Like what kind of person steals the shirts out of your closet for revenge? Him, I guess. Or me since I was the one who thought up the idea LMAO. ALSO I think that Klapollo as a ship in general is interesting because, no matter how someone writes them, inherently, they're BOTH just losers. Yet, they both want to be the coolest person ever and sometimes (most of the time) it doesn't work out how they want, especially with Apollo. He wants to be cool so bad but says stuff like "um, hiya..!" He's my favorite little guy, just like me fr
AND shout out to my sisters for helping me to block this out TT my younger sister practically did ALL the work for the second panel, she even drew it out for me initially, so thanks gug <3 @abandonedart
I'm only a little sorry for yapping this time >:)
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partycatty · 9 months
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are you open to doing hcs or a fic with johnny (mk11 or mk1 variant idc lmao) and reader with dacryphilia? i just know the sex is so good he can make a mf cry. 😭😭
stares at this anon with incredibly wide eyes
mk11 & mk1 johnny cage > dacryphilia
warnings: nsfw, overstim, johnny being a dickhead, author struggles to write dominant johnny bc they know deep down he's a pathetic little bitch boy
notes: oh my god i am . i am so excited. i love this so much i've been holding onto this for .... days . ilysm i'm writing for ALL THREE. lh ymg OGLDJRKSKWJD
masterlist <3
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dilf >
• by FAR the most dominant of the three. he's been around. he knows how to please a woman and he'll make that abundantly obvious when you're reaching your fifth orgasm of the night and he's still pumping into you.
• while he's the most dominant, he's a soft dom! he absolutely worships his love like a goddess and will put her pleasure before his. but he's gonna have his fun while he does!
• johnny loves to please you with every inch of his body. facesitting, fingerfucking, thigh riding, cockwarming, humping his boot, eating you out, he will get you all fucked out one way or another. there's a lot of ground to cover on his huge body, and he devotes every square inch to your pleasure.
• he'll mix his praises in with degrading when he's really into it. he blabbers on and on and he gets closer, the degrading taking over when he's about to cum.
• johnny, on really good days, won't be done fucking you until your mascara drips down your cheeks. he's mastered the art of lasting during sex, so he will be hard for quite some time. and even if he goes soft, he'll just stop and eat you out until the erection returns.
• "such a pretty girl... my needy whore... oh fuck, baby, you're killin' me here..." he loves to just say things into your skin. he'll bite your shoulder or bury his face in your folds and still have something to say. a ball gag wouldn't even stop this man from yappin'.
• "just one more, love, i know you can do it for me," he groans into your ear as he plows his fingers into you again. by now, they're nearly pruned from how much he's been fingerfucking you. his other hand is wrapped around your waist while you sit on his lap. when you reach the next orgasm, he gently caresses your thighs. "there we go, good girl. that wasn't so bad, now was it?"
• when you reach the point of mentally breaking, tears prick at your eyes and fall down your cheeks and you pathetically squirm in his grasp. you don't even know how many times you've came, but this man has somehow found a way to make it happen so many times all you can do is sob.
• in his younger days, that wouldn't even be close to implying a finish line for his torture. but now, with age, he knows better. he sees you cry and stops being as rough. he knows it'd just stop feeling good and start hurting or go entirely numb. johnny would still squeeze in one more orgasm though, just for good measure. just to prove that he can.
• aftercare KING. you just lay there like a little soggy sock and this handsome devil will wipe you clean and pepper kisses across your body, telling you how well you did for him.
• "sorry to make you cry, sugar, i just couldn't help it. you looked too damn pretty," he'll mumble into your neck. "every time you cum for me, i just wanna watch it again and again..."
• your coworkers keep asking if you're okay the following morning from how puffy your eyes are and how sore you claim to be from... training.
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younger >
let me just say first that it is so unbelievably funny that he is looking at himself on imdb in that gif
• he's so mean. SO MEAN!
• degrader to the max. bro is the definition of a cruel and unusual punishment.
• and yeah the jacket stays on during sex.
• "you like being a filthy whore for a movie star? you gonna take it like a good slut? yeah you are," he'll yap and yap while he downright uses your body. he doesn't rub your clit to make you feel good, he rubs it so you spasm around his dick more. he wants to feel how much you crave his cock, his touch. it's all about him, baby!
• more than anything, he just loves to fuck you in every position imaginable. he wants to be buried in whoever fell victim to his charms, dammit!
• mirrors. send tweet.
• no fr, this guy loves having mirrors in every place he could picture himself having sex in. he'll pull your hair and force you to look at your reflection.
• "no, no, no, baby, don't look at you. look at me. look who's fucking you nice 'n good," he wraps his hand on the front of your neck to make you watch him rail you.
• at this point, his dick is painted with your orgasmic fluids and he's still not done. you're so fucked out you can't even think straight. your body has gone entirely limb and you're just in a hazy bliss. you've finished so many times your entire body is trembling and jerking around, and your cute moans and whines have just turned into gasps but the skin on skin slapping is incessant.
• "you gonna cry?" he asks menacingly, holding your face with one hand. "yeah you are. good fuckin' dick, isn't it?"
• you lazily nod as the gasps turn into sobs. you're just so full of pleasure and pain that you don't know what emotion to feel anymore.
• "pathetic girl, can't handle this much boom?" he chuckles breathlessly, approaching his own high. "just stay like that, baby, i'm close. tell me how bad you need me."
• that doesn't even sound possible in your current state. he may be talking, but all you hear is distant sounds as tears streak down your face.
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new era >
• this johnny is like a mix of the former two, but with his own little quirks! i believe this man is a switch through and through with a heavy preference for submission. but, yknow, that being said, sometimes a man just needs to fuck his girl's brains out and watch the tears flow!
• he's a man that's desperate for reassurance and this carries through during sex. he's not insecure, he just loves inflating his own ego.
• "you like that? you like how i fuck you?" he asks with deep whines in between. "tell me how much you love this, baby, please — aah —"
• he'll wipe your tears but secretly pray they keep flowing. it gets him off so good to see how much he affects you.
• also, ngl, i feel like he loves to be overstimulated too. a long ass day of shooting, he comes home and literally wants to get edged and overwhelmed for hours just to release all that pent up energy. he's a crier too <3
• 🚨 🚨 IPAD BABY 🚨 🚨
• he looooves to record you guys have sex, and if he even hears the slightest sniffle from you, the phone shoots to his hand like telekinesis. he's gotta capture every time he fucks you crazy, it's his favorite little memento to hold onto.
• "you look so pretty when you cry," he purrs out, stroking your hair as you choke on his dick. "could never get tired of this sight." he'll play with your hair but also use your throat as his own personal fleshlight. angle or debil.
• if anything, he loves to ruin pretty things. he'll feel accomplished when your lipstick is a mere memory, your clothes are missing buttons and your mascara is now painted down your cheeks. his favorite part of sex is cleaning you up, and his second favorite is ruining you to begin with.
• johnny would honestly love to keep going after you start crying, but he literally can't. he cums the second you're overstimulated because the sight alone gets him there so damn fast. as soon as the waterworks pool in your eyes, he's already getting sloppy with his thrusts and his groans turn into whines.
• he'll kiss your eyelids after sex, the heat of his body providing comfort after the rounds upon rounds of ruthless orgasms. he'd probably also lick your cheek to rid of the tears because it's funny.
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crabonfire · 2 months
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☆ Would merc still like you if merasmus turned you into a worm 🪱 ☆
characters: all mercs
tags: crack but not really I'm taking it kinda seriously, reader has a platonic relationship with the mercs
note: maybe someone's done this before idk I felt compelled to write something tf2 related and this is lowkey all I fucking got lmao
Also this is ridiculously long for a fic that was supposed to be crack so my bad (this was longer actually, but I cut out a bunch of yapping)
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• I feel like Scout's first reaction instead of panicking is to curse and threaten Merasmus.
"OUT OF EVERY SHITTY THING YOU COULD'VE DONE, YOU TURNED THEM INTO A FRIGGIN' WORM?!"
• He's yelling, so much to the point where Merasmus just teleports away and ignores it, finding it funny (of course he finds it funny what a dick)
• He realizes that when he was so busy yelling at Merasmus, he had lost you. He panicked, looking around the ground with a horrified frown, cursing to himself as he started to dig, looking closely. When he finally found you, he placed you on his hand with a frown, looking at how you moved against his fingertips. He wanted to cry a little, he really didn't know what to do.
• He's placing you under his hat. Usually he'd find worms or maggots gross as hell, and if he was going to be honest he still found you gross, but it was you, so...
• Then he rushes back to base, the panicked look on his face never leaving him. He alerts all the other mercs, making a huge fuss over how, you're a worm now, and they need to help him get back at merasmus to turn him back.
He's holding you in his palm, and you're just wiggling around like nothing is wrong cause you're a worm now. And the rest of the mercs look at him like he's crazy.
• Spy, Sniper, Medic, and Heavy are convinced he's lying. Demo believes him a little since he's experienced Merasmus' antics. Soldier automatically believes him fully since the worms there, but you're not, so that must be you. Engineer is just trying to keep the peace, trying to calm scout down, but it doesn't work as no one is listening to him.
• The team is skeptical, thinking that this is some elaborate prank and that, you're just out for a couple hours. But when you don't return tomorrow for the fight, or return after, that raises some suspicions on where you are.
• Ms. Pauling doesn't know where you are either. So is it true? Are you really the worm?
• A meeting is held, everyone stands around the rounded table, the light shining down on you. You're in your little wormy home, slithering and worming your way through life, forgetting your identity, eating leaves and sleeping in dirt.
The mercs watch as you're doing your worm thing.
Engineer clears his throat, making the attention go to him. He turns to Scout, and the confusion in his voice is evident as he speaks.
"Scout, you're absolutely positive that, this worm is (y/n)?"
Scout responds with an aggresive nod, the slight panic and frustration shown in his expression.
"I told you, its them! I saw it happen with my own two eyes, Merasmus found em, they got zapped and poof- they're a worm! A freakin' worm!"
• The team continues to look at you, so peaceful, so calm, being a worm. They don't know why, but, now it was much easier to believe him. The worm was just like you, chill and...cool...and awesome...and wow... amazing..
"So...what? They're just a worm now?"
Sniper said, picking up the jar you were in, looking at you curiously.
"I don't think they'll be too happy stuck like that."
Engineer spoke once again, "If they got turned into a worm, there's...probably a way to turn em' back, right?"
• That was enough to bring hope to Scout's mind. Of course! That was it, if he could find Merasmus and maybe force convince him to turn you back, everything would be okay! All his sadness had dissipated, and he was quick to start making plans.
• So they did, the team would go hunting for Merasmus, and make him turn you back. In the meantime, they'd take turns taking care of you.
• Scout liked to hang out with you, pretending like it was just like before, where you and him would sip sodas together and talk about anything and everything. He'd pour some soda in the dirt you were in, not really caring of the consequences and thinking everything was the same with you two. He really missed having someone to talk to, though.
"Man, I hope you can hear me. It'll be like, super fuckin' weird if I've been talking to you and you're not even in there.."
• Pyro wouldn't really see a difference. That sounds mean, but its really nothing personal. Though now that you were a worm, you weren't as scared as them as you usually were. They'd sit you down, with their plushies, having a nice tea party, watching carefully as you'd just slither about as a worm.
• Soldier was...confused. You, who once was a brave and selfless fighter, was now a worm. It fascinated him and scared him at the same time. He'd get awkward around you, wondering if you remembered him. He'd talk to you mostly, sometimes petting you...He'd try to.
"EVEN IF YOU'RE A WORM, YOU'RE STILL STRONG TO ME!"
"...You're still in there aren't you?"
• Demo wouldn't really know what to do with you either. He finds it kinda funny how you got turned into a worm. Unlike Scout or Soldier, he doesn't really panic, knowing you'll probably be fine, worm or not. He does miss having you to talk to, like scout. Sometimes he'd just be in the living room, and you'd be by the table in your little jar. He'd just watch curiously, but wouldn't really do anything.
• Same thing goes for Sniper. He legit doesn't really know what to do or say. But, he is a little afraid that you won't turn back into a person. Unlike Scout, he found that you weren't 100% obnoxious or annoying, someone to have chill conversations with after battle. He'd keep watch over you, letting you sit with him as he's chilling on top of his van. Sometimes he'd even bring you out with him in battles as he's camping out enemies during fights. He always makes sure you're safe, though.
• Heavy really liked you. He found you someone worth talking to, and a solid member of the team, so it was a bit jarring to see you turned into a worm. He'd keep his hopes up, though, talking to you like normal. Sometimes he'd watch you like Demo did, curious about you and your little world. It was weirdly calming, after battles he'd be worn out, and when he'd see you worming your way through leaves and dirt, it relieved him a little.
• Engie was a little off put by it, the same way soldier felt. You're just...a worm now? Huh. He doesn't really know what to say to that. Medic and him share the same thought, and that thought is, are you concious? Are you aware that you're a worm? Or are you mindless?
They can't help but think of it that way, in a practical sense. Medic would have to hide you from archimedes and the rest of his doves, who would love to eat you at any given chance.
Sometimes they'd do tests on you. Nothing painful or dramatic but, tests to see if you're still in there. They're really overthinking it.
Engie likes having you in his workshop late at night, makes him feel less alone when you're just worming. Medic keeps you at a distance, just to make sure he doesn't lose you or, have one of his doves eat you.
• Spy, is, kind of grossed out. Nobody has a close relationship with him. He did have a lot of respect for you, both on and off the battlefield. You were just a decent human being who he found a liking to, now you're...a worm. A gross, slimy worm.
He never let you into his smoking room, actually he never even let you out of your jar. He liked you, respected you, but liked you more as a person.
He feels pity, honestly, and just wants you to either be out of his way, or back to normal.
• When you do eventually turn back into a worm, they're all pretty glad. They all have questions, ranging from "Were you really in there? Like were you- aware?" And then "Was it nice being a worm?"
I'm sure you can tell who's asking which question and such.
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this what comic 7 leak does to a person
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rotisserory · 5 months
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Reo Mikage is Actually Great BPD Representation- Some Thoughts
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So I had the extremely unfortunate experience of being exposed to Blue Lock (unfortunate because it's all my tiny pea brain can think about now), and while it is absolutely full of silly guys whose brains I want to pick, this little bugger really stood out to me. The second he came onto the screen, I KNEW I smelled the borderline on him. As I watched the series and read the manga, I noticed he is actually an incredibly well-written depiction of someone struggling with BPD. Reo is a super layered character and my favorite hobby is picking apart those layers and yapping incessantly about them, so here we are. I want to write this analysis for a few reasons:
1.) Too many people misunderstand Reo and categorize him as dramatic or childish without any elaboration and he deserves a proper character deep-dive. I think him being borderline explains a LOT of his reactions/choices throughout the story.
2.) Borderline representation is extremely important to me. I'm diagnosed borderline and have struggled with this disorder for around ten years now, so I get really excited when I spy BPD-coded characters (especially if they're likable people and not just ghoulish irredeemable villains or manic pixie dream girl characters). This disorder can be so isolating, especially when the majority of people will never even bother to research or understand it. I know that some people like to chalk Reo's emotional reactions up to him being a moody 17-year-old, but I think I have enough evidence to prove that this is undiagnosed BPD that's festering in his noggin. Not to mention, literally nobody else acts like this in the series. Reo is incredibly unique and distinct in the way he behaves through this narrative and I think it's way past the point of normal teenage angst. Regardless, believe what you want. He'll always be my borderline princess tho <3
3.) I have a master's degree in English and what good is that if I don't write long, painful, pointless essays on anime guys? Not that this is exceptionally well written, I just like to laugh at myself for getting a whole M.A and then this is the shit I publish online lmao
By the end of this, I hope I can shed some light on wtf is going on inside of Reo's silly little head. (I'm also obviously not a psychologist, don't use any of this to diagnose yourself pls I don't need the scandal)
If you want to read, buckle up, because this is gonna be a long one!
First, let me define BPD- It's a personality disorder characterized by a long-standing pattern of instability in mood, interpersonal relationships, and self-image. At its core, it is a disorder categorized by emotional dysregulation (the inability to regulate one's emotional responses) People with BPD feel everything EXTREMELY hard. That's important to keep in mind IMO, because while their reactions may seem dramatic or extreme, what they're feeling IS dramatic and extreme. Everything they're feeling is amplified, so their reactions are amplified. Obviously from the outside, people assume it's an overreaction since they can't see what's going on inside the borderline's head. When you sit down and dissect the thought process of someone like Reo, it becomes a lot easier to understand why they react the way that they do to certain situations.
(Also, I'm not going to reiterate more than once that an explanation is not an excuse to treat people poorly. I cannot read ANYTHING on BPD without hearing every 2 minutes how the disorder isn't an excuse to hurt other people. We get it!! I'm explaining it, not excusing it. This enter essay is an analysis of why someone acts the way they do, not whether or not it's excusable)
So then, what behaviors/signs does somebody need to exhibit to receive a borderline diagnosis? The 9 diagnostic criteria for BPD are as follows:
1. Fear of abandonment
2. Unstable or changing relationships
3. Unstable self-image; struggles with identity or sense of self
4. Impulsive or self-damaging behaviors
5. Suicidal behavior or self-injury
6. Varied or random mood swings
7. Constant feelings of worthlessness or sadness
8. Problems with anger, including frequent loss of temper or physical fights
9. Stress-related paranoia or loss of contact with reality
Someone would only need 5 of these to receive a proper diagnosis. Just with the main story and the spin-off manga that is currently released, I think I have enough evidence to argue that Reo has 8 out of 9 criteria for a BPD diagnosis. For the sake of organization, I’m gonna group some of those together though, indicated by a + symbol. I also want to define a few important terms before I start yapping, so that y'all without BPD can understand wtf I'm even talking about.
Favorite Person (fp) - This is someone who holds massive significance in a borderline's life. They emotionally depend on this person a lot and to a certain extent, their worldview almost revolves around them.
Splitting- the change in perception of someone or something caused by black-or-white thinking or dichotomous thinking. It is the devaluation of someone who was once idealized and vice versa.
Mirroring (aka: the chameleon effect)- the constant, unconscious change in one's identity or sense of self by imitating another person’s behaviors, characteristics, or traits. It is common in people who have a vacant or distorted self-image which is a general symptom of BPD.
Now, time for me to break down the most prominent moments where Reo showcases borderline behavior. As I mentioned, I'm going to try and organize this under each criteria point (with some being grouped together)
Unstable self-image; struggles with identity or sense of self:
Before I delve into Reo's relationships, I want to start with his baseline sense of identity. It’s established early on that Reo is a very bored, empty, unsatisfied person. Nothing excites him, nothing motivates him, and everything is handed to him. He’s frustrated because his parents notoriously try and buy his affection even though he doesn't want anything. For most of his life up until the narrative starts, he's wandering through life empty and frustrated. That is, until he finally sets his sights on soccer and decides to dedicate his life to winning the World Cup:
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The wording, 'proves my existence' is interesting here. I think this is the first instance Reo has felt alive. So far, the only notable thing about him has been his family and his money. He hasn't achieved anything exceptional for himself, but now he has that opportunity. With this goal, he can really build something up from nothing and make it his own. It's almost like he's clinging to this dream to prove that he has some purpose in his life other than being the family heir.
Now, this dream changes when he meets Nagi, of course. I'm not gonna focus too much on their relationship in this section, but I will mention that meeting Nagi shifted Reo's entire dream, and not for the better. Through the narrative, his dream went from:
Winning the World Cup
Winning the World Cup with Nagi
Proving to Nagi that leaving him behind was a mistake
Improving himself and becoming a good striker on his own
Being a tool for Nagi to become the best striker
Had Nagi not come in and ask for Reo to come back to him, I think Reo could have done a great job at establishing his own sense of identity without Nagi. But no matter how much he works on himself, with Nagi in the picture, he's never going to value himself more than Nagi. Reo lets Nagi cloud his identity to the point where Isagi calls him out and asks what he's even doing at Blue Lock in the first place, since he clearly can't survive on his own, he needs Nagi with him.
After dealing with the turmoil of being abandoned by Nagi, Reo goes through a few stages. He starts with wanting to become somebody worthy of being beside Nagi, somebody that Nagi would want to choose. Devoting himself to becoming stronger and more versatile, his end goal is to have Nagi realize he made a mistake by leaving him behind. After a few more matches, Reo starts to realize that he needs to grow and change and become a stronger, better version of himself for himself and not for other people.
He decides that the fight was all his fault to begin with, that he should have never forced Nagi to play soccer and now he is going to get back to what his dream was originally, combined with his new desire to be a stand-alone player (and person, for that matter). Reo accepts the mistakes that he made, admits that he shouldn't have forced his ideals onto Nagi, and resolves to become a better person for HIMSELF. That's excellent!
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Of course, Reo can't be happy for TOO long. Nagi comes out of the woodwork saying that he can't beat Isagi on his own and asks for Reo's help. Reo does stand up for himself a bit, saying that Nagi is being inconsiderate of his feelings and mentioning how long it took for him to recover from Nagi leaving. Now, the BPD trait here is how Reo not only forgives Nagi and is jumping on him and hugging him THE NEXT PAGE, but he also just disregards everything he said in this sequence. In a matter of two minutes, he no longer wants to be a player that can fight on his own or improve for himself, he wants to improve for Nagi. He starts ruminating again about how hurt he was when Nagi left, but now he's saying all of it wasn't so that he could get stronger individually, it was so that he could be reunited with Nagi again. Nagi asking for his help and saying that now they can play together again motivate Reo more than anything we've seen so far. (Nagi notoriously throws Reo little affection crumbs like this that Reo eats up, but I'm not trying focus on that) Now, Reo's alright with being a tool for Nagi's success again. Everything that happened was supposed to make him stronger so he could be a better partner to Nagi, right? Reo also says as the chapter ends, to please let him be a part of Nagi's dream until Nagi becomes the world's best striker. That's literally so sad!
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He's also immediately back to the 'our' 'we' 'us' talk as well. If he can master his chameleon style in order to keep Nagi above the rest of the players, he wont get left behind again. If he devotes his time and energy into being a solo striker like the rest of these guys, Reo knows that he wont be able to keep up. This was always supposed to be his role, right? Building Nagi up to his full potential! :*)
I also like the detail that Reo is back to hugging Nagi and holding him, but Nagi never really touches him back. I think Reo's love language is touch for sure, not that it's incredibly relevant, but I do think it shows that Reo is back to being 100% comfortable around Nagi as if their fight never happened. I hear a lot of fans asking how Reo could have forgiven Nagi so easily, and I say this with my entire chest, it's the BPD. The black-and-white thinking combined with Nagi being Reo's fp and the excruciating pain of being abandoned by him in the first place ?? Of course he's going to take him back. Also, I've seen people blame Reo for not saying no to Nagi when he asks for help and I have to say that is an absolutely insane take. How are we gonna look at a panel where Nagi asks for help and then blame Reo for helping him?? I'm not going to focus on it too much in this post but in my opinion, it is crazy how little accountability both the narrative + fans give Nagi. Reo is pegged as responsible for both of their downfalls and it's nuts tbh.
Currently in the story, I think Reo's identity is still centered around Nagi. It's really easy for borderlines to structure their entire lives and personalities around their favorite person, but I can only hope that these two keep having open and honest discussions with one another. Hopefully, Reo will eventually learn that he can exist without Nagi and that he's more than just 'his arms and legs'.
Unstable or Changing Relationships:
The most notable relationship in Reo's life is Nagi. They're both each other's first real friends, which already sets up a less-than-ideal dynamic. Nagi has no idea how to communicate and he has pretty weak emotional intelligence. On the other hand, Reo is great at communicating, but he isn't used to regulating his emotions. For a lot of borderlines, they can go a very long time without experiencing any symptoms when they don't have a favorite person. When you think about it, the bulk of the disorder is shown through those interactions with other people. If Reo has never had a real friend in his life, I don't think he'd be used to the emotional turmoil that comes with having a fp.
The minute Reo meets Nagi, he's attached. All his classmates notice it, too. They question why Reo is suddenly so obsessed with this random kid who has no interest in him. Reo is ignoring everybody that isnt Nagi.
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Very quickly, Reo boils down his view of the world to being him and Nagi versus everybody else, and he makes that very clear. It also depicts something that I think is incredibly crucial to Reo’s character that a lot of people overlook; as Nagi develops to be Reo’s favorite person, Reo’s dream isnt ‘playing soccer’ anymore. It’s Nagi. It’s being with Nagi, playing soccer with Nagi, being useful to Nagi, taking care of Nagi, and being somebody important to Nagi. He doesnt teach Nagi the rules or how to actually play, he teaches Nagi how to play with him. He literally re-writes and re-structures the game so that it can center around him and Nagi. Nagi calls him out on this in the spin-off manga:
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Reo doesnt care about the structure of the game, he cares about Nagi. The other people on the field don't matter. The other team doesn't matter. He also starts to unknowingly put Nagi up on a pedestal, which is another borderline trait. He starts reiterating that Nagi is special, he's different from everybody else, he's destined to achieve great things. The more he raises Nagi up, the more he isolates the two of them in his mind, reiterating the idea that it's them against everybody else. His language reflects this too: Reo exclusively talks with 'us' 'we' 'our', insinuating that they're going to do everything together.
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When Ego says that there can't be two winners, Reo says that he'll make Nagi the best striker. His 'ego' will be making Nagi successful. Along with putting Nagi on this pedestal, Reo also very early on establishes the fact that he'd pick Nagi over himself any day of the week. He's the only person in Blue Lock who really couldn't care less about becoming a striker himself: his dream is to be a tool in Nagi's success. Or, in simpler terms, he wants to be useful and make Nagi happy.
These two were in trouble from the very beginning. Nagi is lazy as all hell, has 0 motivation to do anything, and his dream is to live a life of luxury and never have to work. Reo, being the borderline baddie that he is, is more than happy to do EVERYTHING for Nagi. Borderlines love extremely hard! It's one of our best traits and I think it's important to showcase that Reo is a massive sweetheart at his core. He clearly loves Nagi a lot and goes to extreme lengths to make sure he feels taken care of. To someone with BPD, NOTHING is too big of an ask for a person they love, especially if that person is their fp. I also disagree with the argument that Reo 'made' Nagi codependent. Nagi likes being taken care of, he says it all the time. If you ask me, I would actually argue that Nagi takes advantage of Reo a little bit because he knows that Reo will do anything for him. But regardless, I think that Reo starts to develop an unspoken expectation with Nagi that he'll provide him with everything he needs, and in turn, Nagi will stick around. I don't think he's doing this intentionally, nor do I think it's being done in a manipulative way. I just think that Reo has a dormant fear of being abandoned that he doesn't totally know he has yet.
It isn't just Nagi that Reo showcases having unstable relationships with, though. Zantetsu is another good example. Reo starts out disliking Zantetsu, he snaps at him a couple times, and calls him a moron more than once. He starts to warm up to him because Nagi tells him to. The favorite person has MASSIVE sway in the borderline's life. If Nagi likes someone, Reo likes them too. (This is, of course, on the condition that they aren't a threat, looking at you Isagi).
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In the immediate next chapter, Reo is acting like they're all best friends. He's climbing on top of them in their big bed, saying that the three of them are gonna win their matches, being a little pookie. He goes from not liking this guy at all to considering him one of his close friends super fast. Also on the topic of Isagi, when they're making up the teams for the second selection, Nagi doesn't initially want to tell Reo that he wants Isagi on their team bc he's worried Reo will be upset. But, when he does finally say it, Reo is literally fine with it because like I said, who Nagi likes, Reo likes! On the condition that they don't replace Reo, which clearly happened soon after.
On the opposite side of the spectrum, Reo also shows how he can go from loving someone to despising him very quickly. After Chigiri and Kunigami tell him to get back up in the game post-Nagi's abandonment, we can literally see the switch flip in Reo's head:
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Suddenly, he hates Nagi. Nagi's a jerk who abandoned him; he never cared about him, and he threw him away. Dude literally says "Let's kill the bastards that betrayed us". This act of unintentional devaluing is called splitting. What Reo's essentially doing is going from one extreme to the other: if Nagi isn't his perfect treasure, he's the devil that broke his heart. There's no room for a grey area. The reasoning behind borderline's developing this black-and-white mindset is rooted in self-defense. If Reo devalues Nagi into being nothing more than a traitor, then he's stripping away the power that Nagi has to hurt him. If he looks at him like a rival or a villain, it's protecting him from being hurt by Nagi again.
That doesn't mean that he genuinely believes any of this, more so, he's trying to convince himself that it's true. We see that at his core, the reason he's acting like this is because he's hurt. I'll go more into it later on, but he's constantly thinking, what does Isagi have that I don't? What do I have to do in order to win Nagi back? This black-and-white thinking is an automatic self-defense mechanism that I think he's doing subconsciously. Regardless, the shifting he's doing here can cause a little whiplash, which brings me to:
Varied or random mood swings + Problems with anger, including frequent loss of temper or physical fights:
I can’t think of a better way to describe Reo's temperament than the wiki, so let me quote it: "Generally, he seems to feel every emotion with full force and is extremely aware of his own faults and shortcomings, which is evident in several instances of painful breakdowns shown in the spin-off manga. Due to his high emotionality, he can even get violent when he loses his temper."
Reo is characterized as being emotionally unstable. When he's happy, he's elated! When he's sad, he's miserable. There are a ton of scenes between the manga and spin-off manga that show how fast his emotions can flip, but this one was one of my personal favorites:
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In this scene, Reo has developed a little scheme in the dining hall where the guys are trading their side dishes. At face value, a throwaway moment. But, I think it's worth looking at because not only does this show Reo's emotional response being triggered in an opposite, semi-extreme direction, but the root cause for the reaction was that he felt rejected by Zantetsu. In his own weird way, he's asking Zantetsu to come over and hang out with him. He's not being exceptionally clear with that message, but I can still pick up on it. "You wanna join in, don't you?" He's extending the invite, making himself vulnerable, and Zantetsu shoots him down by saying nah, I'm fine with my noodles. Reo JUMPS on him like YOU KNOW WHAT? I TOOK THAT PERSONALLY! lol. Jokes aside, I think this moment is a great one to argue Reo's BPD tendencies because it's such a seemingly mundane interaction. Even Zantetsu is surprised by Reo's random outburst. This also sets up the fact that one of Reo's most obvious triggers is being rejected/abandoned/betrayed, an extremely common one between those of us with BPD.
Other instances of Reo having a bad temper are a lot more obvious. In the match against teams V and Z, Reo straight up elbows Raichi in the throat, and then tries to go throw hands with Kuon for hurting Nagi. He only stops because if he gets into any more fights, he’ll get thrown out of the game and won't be able to play with Nagi anymore. He’s visibly pissed though and calls Team Z a joke. Hell, even Reo himself can recognize on a certain level that he can't control his emotions: they control him. They cloud his judgment and make him react in ways that he wish he didn't.
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He is constantly plagued by these extreme emotional reactions that are out of his control. Not to say that people with BPD are unable to ever control their emotions, because we can! It takes time and therapy and practice though, which Reo hasn't had. His lack of regulation is also why he has such a dramatic and extreme meltdown when Nagi abandons him.
Fear of Abandonment:
Reo's biggest trigger and the cause of his inner turmoil throughout Blue Lock is his fear of abandonment. I mentioned before that I think he's had this fear dormant inside of him for a while as so many borderlines do, since he hasn't had the chance to experience it before. He alludes to it early on when they first arrive at Blue Lock:
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The thought of leaving Nagi for somebody else? Reo considers that heartless. They came together, after all. They're going to win the world cup together. Nagi could break both of his legs and Reo wouldn't leave him, because again, Reo isn't there to team up with the best player and become the best striker in the world: he's there to play with Nagi!! And, like I said, in Reo's mind it's him and Nagi vs everyone else-
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Reo exhibits a lot of signs early on of being jealous while they're playing in Blue Lock. I mean, as we discussed, everything should be focused around him and Nagi. When Nagi passes to Zantetsu in the team V and Y match, Reo pulls up like 'hey, why didn't you pass it to me?? ):' There are a lot of little moments like that, but Reo's jealousy is a lot more relevant to my argument after he gets abandoned by Nagi.
Let's talk about that word: abandoned. It seems dramatic, right? Reo uses that term constantly and exclusively. Every time he brings that moment up, he uses the word 'abandoned', or he'll say 'betrayed' or 'chose'. These are very definitive words. He’s not saying Nagi ditched him or flaked on him or blew him off, no; he has abandoned him. That word choice may seem disproportionate to the situation, but that's Reo's reality. This was the ultimate betrayal to him. The constant use of that vocabulary reiterates that in Reo's mind, there is no grey area. Either Nagi chooses him, or he chooses someone else. In choosing someone else, he abandons Reo. Reo is paranoid that Nagi isn't ever going to come back to him and it's because of something that Reo is lacking. How can Nagi like Isagi more than him, anyway?
Now, I do fault Nagi a bit for not communicating better at that moment. I understand that he's bad at communication, but I don't think Reo could have been more obviously upset if he tried. The dude was in TEARS. Nagi saw him devastated and then expected everything to be fine when he met him in the bathhouse? Idk. I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he didn't realize it would upset Reo to such an extreme: maybe he thought that they would miss each other, but Reo wouldn't take it personally. I'm doing my best not to harp on Nagi since this is about Reo.
Abandonment is detrimental to people with BPD. It causes extreme inner turmoil that we see with Reo as the story progresses because it is the only thing he can think about. If he isn't trying to cover up his hurt feelings with this idea of revenge, he's self-destructing over being abandoned. He becomes obsessed with wondering why Nagi chose Isagi over him. Was there something wrong with him? Isagi isn't that impressive, why would Nagi rather be with him? These thoughts torture him endlessly and fuel his desire to 'steal' Nagi back. He literally says to Isagi, that he's going to steal Nagi back. Much to his dismay though, Reo starts to notice that Isagi is bringing out some positive traits in Nagi. Nagi's entire vibe is different with Isagi. Nagi is having fun playing soccer without Reo. In fact, he's having more fun. He's making plays he's never made before. His face is visibly different; he's more excited than before.
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This is heartbreaking for Reo. Not only was he right that Isagi did have something to offer Nagi that he couldn't, but Reo is having a massive self-hate spiral during this point as well, so he's internalizing all of his flaws and mistakes while the thought is sitting in the back of his head: did Nagi actually have a good reason for abandoning me? Was I not enough to satisfy him? Did I only drag him down? This gets significantly worse the longer he watches Nagi and Isagi play:
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Everything is falling apart. Nagi is doing completely fine without Reo, and Reo is an absolute mess. We're circling back to Reo's lack of identity here as well. He's watching firsthand that he's losing Nagi to Isagi: what does he do? What happens to him if he loses Nagi, who is he without Nagi? He's overwhelmed during this match and at one point Reo literally screams that he's going to tear apart their connection. Jealousy is consuming him, but it's also those feelings of inferiority and wondering if he really did deserve to be abandoned. If Nagi is so happy without him, maybe he really did have a reason. These are the thoughts that are circling around in Reo's head. Not to mention, he is constantly tortured by the flashbacks of Nagi leaving him, which I think is a great detail. Some readers might say it's just pointless recapping but I disagree, I think it's depicting how traumatic that was for Reo. As a borderline, being abandoned by your fp IS traumatic. Reo relives that moment so many times because so many things trigger it for him throughout Blue Lock. He can't even look at Chigiri and Kunigami without thinking about him and Nagi. It's a really devastating experience that quickly deteriorates him emotionally.
Constant feelings of worthlessness or sadness + Suicidal behavior or self-injury:
One of my favorite things about Reo is the fact that he is self-aware that he's behaving somewhat irrationally, but he doesn't know how to stop. When we look at one of the several times that Reo is curled up crying over Nagi, he mentions how he really did want to tell Nagi to go and have fun, but he didn't. He couldn't. The visuals shift for this too:
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Reo doesnt want to be acting this way, but he can't help it, and that's frustrating to him. It makes him start feeling ashamed of himself. His inner thoughts start to spiral and he feels weak and alone. He's reflecting here on what his true feelings really were at that moment, and how scared and lonely and weak he felt as a result of Nagi leaving him behind.
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These feelings quickly evolve into Reo feeling worthless and falling into bouts of self-hatred. He's so ashamed of the way he's feeling and behaving but it feels so out of his control. He says, "maybe if I hadn't gone to Blue Lock in the first place, I wouldn't have to experience this feeling." As I said before, borderline's feel things EXTREMELY intensely; the disorder is described as living with third-degree burns all over your body. Everything hurts. His feelings are so intense and all-consuming right now, it's all he can think about:
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I saw some posts in the fandom reddit asking why Reo is acting like this. One in particular reads: "I get that he is betrayed and stuff but he is acting like it’s the end of the world, is it explained later why he acts like this? Is it because he doesn’t think he can win without Nagi?" Not to call this person out, I just want to answer the question in this post-
It has nothing to do with winning; it was never about winning. It was always about Nagi.
If we're looking at Reo through the borderline lens, it IS the end of the world for him. Nagi was his world. What's worse, he's fully aware that he's not acting rationally and he doesn't know why, which is making him feel ashamed and weak and embarrassed. Now I know why he's acting like this, but there are no Blue Lock psychiatrists sitting around to wack him with the mood stabilizers or the DBT handbook, so he's gonna stay feeling like a monster.
He lets these thoughts, along with the resentment and anger from being abandoned in the first place, fuel him for the second selection match. As he's watching the game play out, as Nagi is about to score the winning goal, Reo's mind starts racing with intrusive, negative thoughts.
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He's praying that Nagi fails, that he gives up, that he stops trying, anything to stop that solidifying moment where he scores the winning goal and proves once and for all that not only was Reo not strong enough to stop him, but Nagi doesn't need him anymore. He catches himself really quickly, because he realizes he's sounding just like his parents. Everything is spinning out of control so bad, Reo wants Nagi to end up in a vulnerable position so that he isn't the only one falling apart. As he catches himself thinking this, he's disgusted with himself. He calls himself 'utter trash', and as he watches Nagi score the winning goal, he falls to his knees, wishing he was dead.
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As he sits there decomposing in emotional turmoil and suicidal ideation, Nagi's team chooses Chigiri to join them, and it's the nail in the coffin. This is probably Reo's lowest point in the entire story IMO. Nagi comes up to compliment him on his plays and Reo shows us another classic borderline move: he's anticipating how bad it's going to hurt to be abandoned by Nagi again, so he's trying to push him away before it can happen. We see the dichotomy of his spoken words and inner thoughts here, where he's talking big game to Nagi, saying things like 'you clearly don't care about me anymore, you're throwing me away, if you're going to abandon me just do it properly', while internally he's thinking 'I'm the worst, I wish I was dead, please take this bait and break my heart so that I can self destruct in peace'.
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i LOVE the visuals during this moment. This is what Reo thinks is his last line of defense, the last thing he can do to preserve any part of his dignity is to make Nagi hate him so that he'll stop throwing these crumbs of affection at him. It's also really telling that despite his switch in behavior and the devaluing of Nagi, the root of all of that is STILL that he was so hurt by the abandonment.
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I don't think I need to analyze the suicidal ideation because he just straight up says he wants to die like three times in this scene but, aside from that, the visual of his inner thoughts vs what he's actually saying is so powerful. Not to mention the chameleon imagery which i'll geek out about in a second, this is another example of his black and white thinking along with the reiteration that being abandoned was literally traumatic for Reo: he says they can never go back to what they were before. Speaking as a borderline, this is painfully true. When people break my trust even in a small way, I can never view them the same as I used to. I can forgive them and let it go, but I'll never be as open with them as I once was. In Reo's shoes, he had Nagi up on this pedestal that he was perfect and would never do anything to hurt him, but he did hurt him (in the worst way possible).
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After Nagi tells him he's a pain in the ass and that he doesn't care anymore, Reo thanks him for 'finishing him off'. In his mind, they're done now and he can suffer in peace and quiet without dragging Nagi down anymore.
Bonus Point: The Chameleon Effect
I LOVE THE FACT THAT HIS THING IS CHAMELEONS AHHHH
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The chameleon imagery with Reo makes me INSANE dude. As I mentioned towards the beginning of this post, a part of borderline that is seldom talked about is the tendency to take on 'the chameleon effect', or mirror the people around them. REO'S ENTIRE THING IS CHAMELEONS LIKE BFFR ?? That image where he was trying to get Nagi to hate him, was before he even started using his chameleon style, it was just something the authors thought was necessary to include during Reo's mental breakdown. Aside from the cool imagery, his chameleon style is a reflection of his relationship with Nagi. He gets called a jack of all trades and a master of none early on in reference to how when he’s without Nagi, hes not really exceptional at anything. He never really took the time to master one specific thing because he was always so concerned with helping Nagi. This rings my BPD bell for a couple reasons: first of all, when you have no sense of identity and you’re worried it means you have no real personality ?? Steal one!! Take the closest person to you and copy that one. That’s something us baddies know VERY well. Also, think there’s something about you that your fp doesn’t like? Change it! You can morph into anything they want as long as it means they won’t leave you !! :*) Before he makes up with Nagi, he copies moves in hopes that it'll make him stronger and appear more desirable to Nagi. After they make up, he copies whoever he has to so that he can get Nagi to that goal and make himself useful, make himself somebody that Nagi wants to have around. It is a literal direct metaphor for him changing anything and everything about himself for Nagi and graaaahhhh it’s so cool
Reonagi ?? Some thoughts-
I want to close this yap session with my thoughts on Reonagi as a ship. I do think that they can work and I want to make that clear. I'm not on board with the 'borderlines arent capable of having loving and fulfilling relationships' crap. That being said, they both have to put in a bit of effort. Reo has already recognized a lot of his own issues. He admits that he was wrong for pushing his ideals onto Nagi, that he needs to let Nagi grow and be his own person, etc. Nagi really hasn't accepted any fault. I stand by the fact that Nagi needs to be more sensitive with Reo. Way too often when a relationship like this fails, all the blame is put on the one with borderline. I'm gonna be the outlier here and say that if Nagi cares about Reo, he needs to learn about Reo's triggers and be mindful of them. I'm not saying that since Reo is sensitive to abandonment that Nagi should just isolate himself from everybody else, but what I am saying is that when he's going to do something that doesn't involve Reo, he needs to learn how to communicate that he still loves and values Reo. "I'm gonna go play soccer with this person right now, but I haven't forgotten about our promise. When I come back, we can play together. I still love you and I'm not going to leave you for whoever tf I'm playing with rn." (sneaking that 'i love you' in bc like..they're literally canon at this point asdfghjkll) But, I do think that Nagi loves Reo and cares about him in his own way. The two of them just have to keep working on their communication skills. Nagi has the potential to have a hot rich husband who will literally bend over backward for him and buy him all the robux he could ever want, he's gotta put in a shred of effort!
I also like to think that Nagi didn’t totally get the fact that Reo doesn’t gaf about just playing soccer. Nagi thinks soccer is what they do together, it’s what makes reo happy, right? He’s always pushing him to train harder and take the game more seriously because he likes the sport, RIGHT? It would make perfect sense to go play with isagi so that he can get better at soccer and come back to reo a more improved player. Maybe that’s why he was surprised when Reo was so mad in the bathhouse, bc he wasn’t making the connection that Reo cares more about him than soccer. That Reo puts all that energy into him playing soccer because he thinks it’s something that they can have as their own, and once Nagi notices how good he is, he’ll start enjoying it and the two of them can hold hands and run around the soccer pitch!! I think Nagi missed that part tbh, and I don’t think he know that even now in the story. Maybe Reo doesn’t even notice it.
Anyway, a shameless plug to my reonagi playlist if that's your thing (i cooked with this one, i fear) https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5CsvSqmuI4cxOl1nTaV4GJ?si=737a0f21e0bd482a
Closing Thoughts:
Reo is a bpd baddie and I love him very much. I think he's a sensitive guy with a lot of feelings who would benefit from taking time to work through his trauma and his emotions. I hope that he eventually is able to build an identity for himself that doesn't involve Nagi, but baby steps, I suppose. I think Reo is a great balance of positive and negative borderline traits and he reads as a really believable and sympathetic character. He is, however, definitely that friend that you have to slap to stop them from running back to their ex.
Jokes aside though, BPD can be extremely hard to live with, even more so when it's undiagnosed and untreated. If someone you love has BPD, take the time to read up on it and do your best to understand them. I promise you, it will mean the world to them.
If you managed to get this far, thank you for reading! This was a messy stream of consciousness and I appreciate your support by listening.
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dnpbeats · 3 months
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more phagenda theories ft. analysis of dan's story bc i am painfully unemployed
hi besties it's me again. i'm reaching the point of waiting for the announcement where it's like that tweet about the plate of corn in encanto. i decided to go back and watch dan and phil's first videos to see what frames they used to see if it would reveal anything intersting and well... it kinda does, but also this theory falls apart a bit towards the end so. take this with a grain of salt this is just for fun i'm just yapping it's not meant to be that serious etc etc
so starting with phil's video blog, i believe the frame is from about 0:41 or at least very very close to there (based on the position of phil's paper):
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(side note but i don't wanna get too off track: 2 seconds after this is when phil's curtain blows which like obviously is from wind but maybe in another universe it's some kinda sci-fi fantasy spirit ghost thing idk)
this section of the video is when phil is reading off a question from his linguistics exam. we know from "teaching dan to speak" that if youtube hadn't worked out and phil actually used his degree, he was gonna be a forensic linguist. okay so now, what frame is used from hello internet? this one isn't quite as easy to pin down but my best approximation is at 0:37, or at least somewhere soon after that (going off of dan's placement in front of the door):
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this is the section of the video immediately after dan gets done saying some "really good friends" he's made recently persuaded him to "give it [making videos] a shot" which like, we all know means phil. when i say immediately i mean he finishes saying that at 0:36
i just personally find this intersting because like. for phil's video why pick a frame of him reading an exam when you could've gone with the thumbnail or him looking at the camera or something? with dan, i at first thought it was the very beginning of hello internet, but it's definitely not based on the way he comes into frame. instead it's right after he says that phil persuaded him to make videos... so this brings me to the ripple effect/alternate universe idea a lot of people have been throwing around. what if they chose phil reading his linguistics exam bc they are going to explore a universe where he becomes a forensic linguist? and of course, if he didn't do that, then dan wouldn't have made his video, because the part where phil persuades him to give it a shot never happened (this is where we get into dinok territory). ok so how does this fit with the other two shots we can see? (i'm not including something we want to tell you bc it would be impossible to know exactly where in the video that shot is from, and ofc i can't include the mystery one 💔)
(warning this is where this starts to fall apart lmao) now obviously the one from gtpwtw is from the yoga section:
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how does this fit in with the alternate universe/choices theory? well, this particular moment is right when dan is asking phil "top or bottom," which obviously in the moment is a joke and it's a really inconsequential question. however, it is a question nonetheless, with two possible outcomes 👀
for saying goodbye forever... i quite literally have nothing, the shot they chose has nothing going on it's just them standing there as priest sean walks in at about 0:35 💀💀
anyway yeah, assuming they consciously chose what shots of videos to include, it might give more validity to the multiverse idea, regardless of what medium they present it in! ofc this could also all mean nothing and i am just grasping at straws (10x more likely) i just thought it was intersting :)
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zombvic · 4 months
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VROOM (harry lewis x reader)
summary : in which y/n and harry get invited to go to the silverstone formula one grand prix (2023)
face claim : no one exact
notes : im an absolute noob at writing fics so please excuse the quality lmao. im petrified of posting on here but ive been thinking about starting a blog for over a year. im open to feedback, opinions and any sort of questions/advice is welcome! i happen to waffle a lot so just skip those parts if uninterested. this is my first post so enjoy 😝 also pls request because i have the creativity of a koala so id appreciate some ideas :D
pairings : harry lewis x reader , lando norris x platonic!reader
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"WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?! Are you actually serious?" You asked your boyfriend in genuine shock, followed by a laugh from the man dressed in head to toe in Ferrari merch. The red and yellow colors clashed hilariously with the sleek, orange McLaren paddock pass hanging around his neck.
"What? I thought I'd support the winning team." He shrugged, a cheeky grin spreading across his face. You and Harry got invited by the Mclaren F1 team to watch the Silverstone Grand Prix from the paddock. As a Formula 1 fan youself, you were excited to see the cars upclose. To watch the mechanics to the pitstops, engineers do their things (idk what they do lmao) and to watch Max Verstappen overlap the whole grid like seven times. Even since you were a little kid you were amazed by those cars driving freakishly quickly. Now, several years later you get to experience it right infront of your eyes.
"Look, there's Lando!" Harry pointed out, spotting your friend talking to a group of mechanics. You approached Lando, who broke into a wide grin as he saw you. "Hey! There are my favorite YouTubers!"
You beamed. "Lando! It's so good to see you. How's it going?"
"It's been wild but amazing," Lando replied, glancing at Harry. "And I see you've managed to get Harry in the right gear this time."
Harry laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah, I had a little help with that."
Lando gave you two a playful nudge. "So, who are you rooting for today? Besides me, of course."
You laughed. "Well, McLaren, obviously. But I'm also excited to see how the Brits perform. It's going to be an interesting race."
"That's the spirit," Lando said, his eyes twinkling with excitement. "Alright, I better get back to my team, but I'll see you guys later? Enjoy the race!"
You and Harry found a spot in the back of Landos garage, it had a view on the screens but also the pit-stop. The whole race went by fast. The moment the lights went out Lando tried his hardest with a deserved P2 at his home race.
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Liked by mclaren, f1 & 1,002,485 others.
yourusename mom, i got invited to the silverstone grand prix.. still lowkey in disbelief like wtf.. me?? anyways, tysm mclaren 🩷 enjoy my lovely film camera dump raaaah.
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user harry looking fine as always😍
user y/n and lando finest friends
wroetoshaw whos the first fella hes fit
- yourusername he has a girlfriend..
user i can imagine y/n just walking around taking pictures of everything and everyone 😭😭😭
user i almost melted when they came on the screen
- user me too 😭 forgot i was watching f1 for a second
wroetoshaw i still think i shouldve worn my ferrari outfit #hater
- yourusername youd be sticking out like a sore thumb youre lucky i stopped you #loser #youalmostworepajamapants
user y/n looked so good there 😍
user i LIVE for y/n and landos friendship
faithlouisak i cant believe you chose him over me..
- yourusername im sorry bae.. next time im taking u
faithlouisak finest woman out there
calfreezy wtf fake friends.. theburntchip are you seeing what im seeing ???
- theburntchip bunch of fakies😔
holy what a yap fest lmfao please someone REQUEST something 😭 cause this is too plain.. !
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pookietv · 3 months
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number one fan | george clarke
this was requested! and i couldn't resist the end lmao so !!
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george had always been supportive. he liked to consider himself his friends biggest fans, always turning up to whatever may be important to them, from arthur's tours, to his home friends graduations, he always wanted to be there and be able to show his pride in the people in his life.
so when he began dating a singer, it was to no one's surprise that he became the biggest fan out there.
your music a staple of the household, to the point where an intervention was called by arthur and chris.
"geooooorge can we not put on different music now?" chris said with a slight smile on his face as he rolled his eyes jokingly.
"you know we love y/n's music but george, this is a little excessive," arthur agreed, giggling to himself a little.
"just let this song finish! its the best one," he protested whilst cooking at the kitchen island, earning a joking groan from arthur.
"i'm convinced that just by living in this house we may know her lyrics better then she knows them," chris laughed, and george just shrugged with a mockingly innocent look.
when you first got signed by a manager, changing from original songs uploaded to youtube to a real publishing plan.
"george?" you grinned to yourself as you went into his room, having been let in by arthur, seeing him sat at his desk, seeing you and pulling his headphones off his head.
"hey, you! didn't know you were coming around today," he said, standing to press a quick kiss to your hairline, and you could barely stop yourself grinning at him like the cheshire cat.
"what's that look for?" he asked as he pulled away, quirking his head slightly as a small smile approached his face too.
"i got offered to be signed! by a real label! they actually want me to be under their label!" you practically babbled out, watching george's grin grow wider before wrapping you in a hug, practically lifting you from the ground.
"no way! that's amazing, darling," he muffled into your hair, his arms around your torso only wrapping tighter, "i'm so so so proud," he beamed, pressing another kiss to your cheek.
"thank you george," you smiled back, your cheeks glazed with red, "you've been so supportive, and i appreciate it so much,"
"so, now can i convince you to write a whole album about your biggest fan?" he teased, and you playfully pushed his chest.
"well, maybe i could write a song for arthur, i mean he was so lovely letting me open for his tour, he definitely has been a loyal fan..." you teased in return, pretending to ponder, causing george to mock pout.
"hey, hello, i am your biggest fan you muppet!"
when your first album released, and it was all george could yap about for at least a month afterwards.
when he featured on his bach and arthur's podcast? practically the first thing to leave his mouth.
"yeah, so i've not been up to too much, y/n was really busy recently so we decided now she's done and the album's released, we might try and go away somewhere - the album's out now on all streaming platforms! go listen, she's brill," he says with a cheesy grin on his face.
"what was the timer on george mentioning y/n there? under five minutes?" bach laughed, george's face going slightly red as he shrugged.
"it is a good album, in his defence," arthur laughed a little.
when he's in one of chris' videos? practically every goal he scored was backdropped by the beat change of one of your songs.
"if you miss this one, we're not letting you aux the flat for a week," chris chided with a grin, and george rolled his eyes as he placed the ball down, lining it up and kicking it in.
"see? he's the biggest fan around! the second the thought of not playing y/n's new album 24/7 is unthinkable to george," arthur laughed, before continuing, "i don't even live with you guys and i think i've heard y/n's music more times then i have actually met her in person."
going to your first big concert?
you had offered him to be backstage, but he had said no - of course he wanted to be in the front, seeing you perform like he was anyone else, he wanted to see you properly, from the floor.
"you're sure you don't wanna be backstage?" you had asked him on facetime earlier that day, when you were already at the venue for sound checks but he had assured you no.
"we're all coming in the pit, we've gotta see it like a normal concert!" he grinned down the phone, and you rolled your eyes playfully.
"you at least gonna stand at the back so you guys don't get like, mobbed or squashed or something? 'cause people might ask for photos," you said, slightly concerned for him, but he just shook his head.
"we can take photos afterwards with whoever wants one - i'm not standing at the back and barely seeing anything just cause some people may try and be rude and take photos with us whilst you're performing, that's not fair to you," he hummed slightly down the phone, "plus, chris wouldn't be able to see from the back and you know that," he laughed a little at his own joke
you cracked a small smile as you shook your head, "you're so stubborn, george, you know that?"
and when he showed up to the concert, with both of the arthurs and chris, all stood as close to the front as they could be, and before you could even notice anything else, you saw george's shit eating grin at his shirt, which he wore in a teasing sort of pride, that just said 'i fucked the singer', and as he saw your eyes roll, you could hear his laugh from the crowd.
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chaostroberry1 · 3 months
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Hey how are you? I was wondering if you could have some headcanons for Hermes, Poseidon, Apollo and Loki with a goddess of sadness. She is the tallest of all the goddesses there, measuring almost three meters, she always has a melancholic aura and a quite sensitive, solitary and serious personality but she is kind to the most intimate people in her circle. She adores humanity and used to have a human husband before he tragically died. She is one of the strongest goddesses, when she cries she makes her sadness infect others, making them cry too and feel her pain (it is based on blue diamond from Steven Universe but I don't know if you know her. You don't need to add any more her if she is not to your taste). I'm sorry if it was a bit long, in advance please and thank you!
Oooh the pretty lady?? Im a bit familiar with her. I did my research on Google, I hope I didn't get anything wrong 😭 I'm also not sure if this is an "× reader" or not, so I'm very sorry. You may chat me again if it isn't what you asked for♥
°•Apollo+Hermes+Loki+Poseidon W a goddess of sadness!reader•°
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Loki
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- Loki and you are literally polar opposites. You both are so different, yet you both ended up being close to each other.
- he's very curious as to why you're so gloomy and emotional. But you are the goddess of sadness, you live up to your title. Literally.
- whenever he pulls pranks or Snickers at jokes, he's always looking towards you and pointing a finger at whoever was unlucky enough to be his target— thinking you'd instantly feel better.
- no, you actually got gloomier.
- but I think he'd take a liking to you. Opposites attract pretty well if I do say so myself. Atleast he has someone (not really) willing to listen to him.
- and about your height, I bet he'd use his floating ability to float towards your face, so he could talk to you more , and os that you don't have to bend down a little to hear him. And yes, he will ignore the fact that you are uncomfortable or not.
- he just yaps and talks about anything basically. Even if you are very quiet. you talk sometimes, only when you really feel like it.
- seeing how you can make people cry just because YOU are crying... its probably super amusing to him. Even if he's also there shedding tears.
-i bet he'd try to make you cry near the unbreakable ones like Thor, Poseidon, Odin, and so on. Just for the fun of it. A little experiment to make sure you're really that strong.
Apollo
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- this guy is the perfect ladies man. He knows how to entertain you, he knows how to stop your thoughts from going elsewhere (or maybe stopping you from thinking about something sad. Or else everyone will get affected with your sadness plague.)
- even with your tall height, he still knows how to take care of you. He will find ways. Like when you visit his place, he will make sure you have enough room in the pool of water. He'd also dismiss the nymphs who are staring at your tall figure.
- if y'all are in a relationship, then he's willing to make you atleast a little bit happy. Seeing you cry for the first time was so heartbreaking to see, until it started happening more often.
- well, he learned to embrace it. And now, whenever you cry, he'll just come up to you with his arms open. (Like the "where my hug at?" Typa pose.) and he'll approach you slowly like--
"darling, darling, no need to cry. Let's look to the bright side!"
-- before he makes a tiny lil ball of light in his hands w his photokinesis. If not, he himself would probably blind someone with his light, just to make his statement clear to you. Lmao 😭
- he actually really likes it when you have to bend down a little so you can hear him better. Gives him a better look at your neck, or your chest. And maybe cus he likes the position you're in. (Perv ass)
Hermes
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- he's already used to this. But I'm sure he'd find joy in watching your power do its thing to those around you. watching people—especially the most cold blooded gods—cry because of you, is incredible.
- he'd give you praises on your power, and how delightful it was to have such a goddess existing in the realm of divine beings. He'd serve you food and tea, ones that are extra big because of your size and height. Like I can imagine this man carrying a huge ass cup just for you to sip some tea or smth.
- I know you both gossip. He'd be whispering all the stuff he has to know on that day's tea, and you just quietly listen and softly giving your feedback. Y'all would do it in front of the other gods too lmao 😭😭
- your aura combined with his, it's a peculiar combo. But its certainly calming, with his personality and yours, it leaves a weird feeling in the room whenever you two are close.
- you both are pretty chill together tho.
- if you guys were in a relationship, he'd be so understanding and supportive of you. When you enter a battle, he'd probably be behind holding light sticks or something with that small smile he always has.
Poseidon
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- now him. He likes your presence. Cus it reminds him a bit of hades. Not the crying part, but more of the calm demeanor you have. You are very soft spoken and it doesn't annoy him.
- you and hades are his only exceptions. Your aura is comforting in a way that soothes his nerves. He's also seen and even felt the sadness you've carried on your shoulders all those years after you beloved died, as well as the burden of other things.
- so he can quite understand you. It must really be difficult dealing with such feelings he learned that after he felt the pain you buried deep into your body when you cried.
- you both are also a peculiar duo combo. I just know most of the gods there ship you both. Loki was the one making the scenerios and fanfics (he's such an ass)
- Poseidon acts like he doesn't care, or is irritated. But in all reality, he doesn't seem to mind. He likes you a lot.
- he's pretty quick to slice someone who makes you cry. He just uses the excuse that he doesn't want to shed tears and all because showing weakness is weak af. But in reality he actually just doesn't want anyone fuckin w you.
- like imagine him saying that showing such weak emotions as a god is pathetic, before seeing you and quickly saying "unless it's completely necessary".
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confinesofmy · 5 months
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we met one of my northern cousins at the mounds and she was pulling out all the stops trying to tempt me into coming to visit her and i brought like a full picnic spread so she mentioned b-ham's got a great food culture and i had to explain my parosmia to her and i do think i got it across but it's literally so sad to me that if i do go visit her (which i probably will) i'm just gonna keep eating my ten little things that i eat. 🥲 like i could walk into a michelin star restaurant rn and have to immediately leave because it smells like corpse stench in there. i try not to think much of it or allow it much meaning in my life but i currently associate food with disgust to the degree that in a new city i would not even try the food. 😭 that's so miserable lol.
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hauntingsofhouses · 8 months
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Blue Eye Samurai characters as animals
First of all, let me just reassert my dog Taigen agenda.
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Like I keep talking about it but this man really growls and barks like a dog, and yaps and follows Mizu around like a puppy.
I don't know much about dog breeds but my first thought was German Shepherd for Taigen. Typical guard dog you know? Fierce, aggressive, loyal, and very disciplined when trained.
Or maybe he'd be an Akita? Since that's a Japanese dog breed, and they're also large and powerful. They're quite similar to German Shepherds, not only in appearance, but they're also good as guard dogs and hunting dogs, though they're less predictable and not as family-friendly.
Also in Japanese folklore, dogs tend to be seen as auspicious guides and protectors that have the power to resist evil spirits and demons. Dog statues are often placed at city gates to ward off thieves and robbers. Ties back to guard dog behaviour lmao, and brings to mind how the Shogun praised Taigen's loyalty and specifically requested that Taigen be one of the people guarding him at his side.
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Okay next, moving on, let's talk about cat Mizu, which I've also talked about before, but okay. Just look at this.
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Neko Mizu my beloved.....!!! Scrunkly and scrungy. Graceful predators, introverted and mysterious, but feisty, unassuming little creatures of chaos. WILL scratch you without hesitation.
Also I think she'd specifically be a black cat, because of the prejudice towards black cats as "unlucky." Similar to how Mizu is discriminated against as people believe she's a "monster."
It's also interesting to note that cats have several different forms within Japanese folklore, from the deadly and malevolent nekomata, to shapeshifting bakeneko, to the waving figurine of the maneki-neko placed in shops to bring in prosperity. Some theorise that the diverse range of folklore stories regarding cats is related to how the species is not indigenous to Japan, which is also interesting when you recall that Mizu is mixed race.
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I feel that she could honestly be any domestic black cat, but if I had to choose a specific breed, then I think she'd suit a Bombay. Very glossy black coats. Muscular but lean. Very panther-like. Only thing is that Bombays are known for their special copper eyes, but the fact that eye colour is a notable thing about their breed is also a very interesting parallel.
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And I know I said in my previous post (linked above) that Ringo is the exhausted but loving caretaker of the two of them, but Ringo has an animal form too! He's a tanuki, also known as Japanese raccoon dogs! In folklore, they're silly little guys, happy and mischievous, a little absent-minded and goofy, but they're shapeshifting masters of disguise.
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Also, in canon, Ringo literally lived with a family of tanuki during winter at some point in his life! He talks about this when he meets Mizu in the first episode. Image below is a concept of a deleted scene, courtesy of Brian Kesinger, the show's head of story.
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Next, Akemi. Now, I know she has all that bird symbolism going on, but Mizu also had horse symbolism (due to her connection with her horse Kai). So, personality and design-wise, I don't think the symbolism has to necessarily match up. And with that said, I would like to propose another idea: I think Akemi is more like a fox!
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Like I'm convinced she is in fact a beautiful kitsune in disguise. Because kitsunes in Japanese folklore are known to shapeshift into beautiful women, and are very elegant, cunning and intelligent, which seems a lot like Akemi to me!
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So yeah that's it. They're a bunch of cute animals. The end.
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