#i'm just trying to explain it i guess

[teddybeartoji]

I get what you’re saying you’re busy that’s why you don’t get to every ask but it just sucks when I send a creator a thoughtful/ heartfelt ask and they skip over mine to answer their moots or something.. (I hope this doesn’t sound rude or out of touch) 😭

i'm not saying that i'm busy i'm saying that i struggle with very basic things such as Socializing. and i'm not trying to make excuses for myself or defend myself i think it's more than fair for you to be upset with me bc i still haven't gotten to your ask. i will tell you that i don't really prioritize mutuals over anons when it comes to asks because i have a lot of them stuck in my inbox too,, i have messages from ppl who i interact with regurarly still sitting there just bc it takes a lot of energy for me to properly reply to things, no matter how short or long the message is.

and i want to reply properly i don't just want to answer back with just like.. 'lmao' or smth yk? on days when all i can do is just play video games and not move from my place on the bed for hours on end i simply don't have it in me to show the enthusiasm I HAVE. i am excited to read your ideas and thoughts and i am over the fucking moon when i get a compliment but again, i just want to be able to give you a deserved reply.

you don't sound rude or out of touch, you're asking for a very reasonable thing and i am sorry that i can't give it to you

[somnimagus]

My page for @destinytriofanzine! I drew something about kids always dreaming of far off places

[id in alt!]

[yarrowleef]

I was skimming part of code of the clans today where the Leafpool narrator goes over proposed code rules that were struck down. I was curious why this StarClan rule wasn't implemented because it seems like something the zealot clan cats would go for. The guide does not rly answer my question lol

This is such a weird paragraph. It's like. In one breath Leafpool-narrator is saying they didn't make it a code rule because clan cats can think for themselves, but in the next breath implies that belief in StarClan is in fact necessary for living in the clan, because to live in a clan means you have to follow the warrior code, and belief in StarClan is what makes them follow the code (apparently). If you don't believe in StarClan, she seems to imply that must mean you are planning on leaving the clan? ("it's not a law to stay in the clan" + you can "choose a different path"?) There is not actually any room being made here for a clan cat to peacefully not believe in StarClan---at least not a good code abiding clan cat. And the alternative of leaving the clan obviously means you are no longer planning on following any of the code, so like...how is this meaningfully different from making it an official code rule?

[theheroheart]

watching Until Dawn remake and thinking about Josh

[koka-mi]

Oh my gosh whyyyy am I so obsessed with numbers I don't like it at all this is driving me INSANEEEE😭😭IT'S GETTING WORSE AND WORSE AS THE DAYS GO BY AAAA

[mumbledramblings]

apparently moze is just hanging out invisible on the skysplitter

also this might be a bit of a leap but it's entirely possible he doesn't know what a cycrane is

[blimbo-buddy]

”Damn I’ve been feeling kind of shitty about what I went through when I was 15-16. I wonder if there’s a way to get all these feelings out besides therapy”

SpottedLeaf and Anya:

[pekoeboo]

purification is a painful, painful process.

rough sketch based on a scene in the Ravenwood RP. Antony is confronted with a situation in which he has to utilize his divine power in order to save Melvin - who had been terribly poisoned. the only one strong enough to clear the poison from his system is Antony, but the boy's abilities come with the caveat that his physical body still isn't entirely capable of handling prolonged and intense bouts of purification for any extended length of time; even despite having been reborn as a demigod.

so that power breaks him from the inside out - just as it did back in Atria. he does manage to save Melvin, but at the cost of his own life... though no one is aware that he still retains the ability to come back from the dead by that point. ends up being quite a shock for everyone when he turns back up a few days later, naturally. ><;;

tbh, some pretty awful repeat trauma for Antony. poor kid doesn't deserve it, but the angst is just too good to pass up imo :0

please do not remove caption or repost. also on deviantart

[docholligay]

Bear witness to the sins of the English; sins compounding sins. Driving over to Ely to see the gang, I beheld a precisely-trimmed topiary; and as I passed that topiary it revealed to me a perfect simulacrum of the countenance of Peppa Pig.

There are a number of people on that godforsaken rock that I would go so far as to say I "enjoy the company of" and maybe even "like" so I have no idea why Our Foul Creator is constantly trying to convince me to execute the nuclear option here, and, might I say, doing an excellent job.

Big Ben will be in flames, the moors empty of screams, Arthur never to rise again, certainly a tragedy but on the other hand, I will never have to hear the phrase, "Jumping into muddy puddles" in that fucking sing song way, and JKR will be dead, so it's a net gain.

[softpine]

This might be juvenile, but do you have any tips on not comparing yourself to others? (Especially when it comes to note count or popularity.) I’ve been posting a story for over a year and it hardly gets any traction. It’s tough for me to see new creators post and get hundreds or even thousands of notes. I hate that I’m doing this but don’t know how to quit it!

this is not juvenile!! i struggle with this myself, especially knowing that i hit my peak years ago and i've been on the decline ever since – but only by numbers alone! i'm more proud of my story than i've ever been, i'm more attached to my characters, i'm putting more love and thought into everything, but i had to be realistic with myself and understand that i'll never pull even half the notes i did in 2020. gone are the days when i would wake up to 3 new anons about my story and dms from people every day (i can't believe i used to get overwhelmed by it...) and i would be lying if i said it didn't make me sad sometimes, because we're humans and our brains are practically wired to crave the hit of happy chemicals you get from seeing the stupid number go up 😭 it does feel demotivating. it makes me feel less urgency to post quicker if i convince myself that no one is waiting for me anyway, which means i post less, which means even less people stick around, which makes me post less, and on and on. it's a tough thing for me to come to terms with in all honesty.

but it helps to remember that i would be writing even if no one is reading. and i know that, because i have! i've written entire novel-length fics that i've never published, i've written countless short stories in the frozen pines universe that i'll never post, i've created alternate universes that will never be shown, etc. i do it because the idea is in my head and it needs to Get Out and i'm kinda just a conduit for that. that might not apply to you, and that's okay! everyone is different. the important thing is to really sit down and think about WHY you write and what you get out of it. which part of the process makes you happiest? what makes you feel a sense of fulfillment / satisfaction? play to your strengths. try not to spend your time doing things you think other people will enjoy and instead, spend more time on the things that make you happy. for me, i haaaaate editing and i always have, so lately i've been trying to speed through it a little bit quicker even if it means the final product won't be as appealing to others. (this is still a work in progress for me...) i have more fun when i experiment with different writing styles, which might not appeal to others because it takes longer and i don't really have a recognizable style, but i don't care anymore because i'm having fun! ask yourself what YOU want from your story, and then write for yourself and only yourself.

essentially what i'm saying is: there will ALWAYS be people more popular than you, and there's no guarantee that when you find the popularity you seek, you'll be able to keep it. so you need to find some sort of intrinsic motivation to continue or you'll just keep comparing yourself to others forever and you'll deny yourself the joy of creation! "comparison is the thief of joy" could not be more true!!

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

trying to psych myself up to finally do oc refs by doing fandom-related refs instead: volume 1

wanted to update my yuma from whatever tf this au is so he was a bit more unique... takes inspo from a lot of different things while also trying to be its own sorta thing? which is fitting given the au ;)

bonus chibi now that i'm also figuring out how tf to do chibis lol:

[amethystpath-writes]

Bread and Eggs

(NOT A PR0MPT)

******

It started with the ringing of Villain’s phone. He wasn’t surprised to see Hero’s name pop up. He admired the too-small circle with her picture on it. It was impossible to tell by looking at the emblem, but Villain knew it was a picture from their first date.

To think it had been five years ago...

Villain’s picture on Hero’s phone had been a more recent photo, one from their engagement. An image of him kneeling with the classic black velvety case. It was warm the day of their engagement- Villain didn’t dare propose on a cold day; it would have led to an obvious refusal.

He used to joke that warmth was the only reason Hero even liked him. “You scorn me constantly,” Villain would tease. “You only like me because of the heat I so generously produce.”

“As if you have any control over it! You can’t help that you’re so warm, but it is definitely a plus,” she would ultimately agree.

Now, they were married- and, oh, hadn’t it been a dream? Looking for homes, buying a home, getting groceries, coming home to one another, holding each other at the end of the day. It was all Villain wanted in life, and for so long, it seemed impossible. Yet, here they were; her joyful face was beaming at his under the name ‘Love of my life’.

Answering the phone, Villain jokingly began, “Yes, honey, I remembered to get the bread and eggs.”

The voice that answered wasn’t Hero’s.

***

[alkeneater]

E!2080 factbook (that's what i'll call it): brainwashing 😵

I wanna talk about brainwashing because it’s kinda important for my story and sometimes explains some clones’ behavior :) This topic deserves some attention :p 

In general, in my AU we have a cult atmosphere in the Shadow Tower, BUT it's not really a cult. The main goal of the Shadow Government is to grow clones into worthy leaders and soldiers, but at the same time loyal and stupid enough to make it easier to manipulate them. Various methods were used: working with corrupt psychologists, inciting hostility between clones, fake rumors, fake news on fake TV, fake books on the shelves next to the real ones, and of course the scare tactic.

Their favorite manipulation is obviously, “we're doing this for your own safety, the world outside is cruel,” and clones were sitting in the tower like princesses from fairy tales, yeah. You got me, right? Lots of manipulation. But despite the approximately equal attitude towards everyone, it still affected different clones in different ways. Perhaps some biological factors played a role, which I doubt, BUT Scudworth's influence on the clones also helped some to stay sane. I've said this a hundred times, but Scudworth LOVES his clones and he doesn't like the operation he was forced to participate in. Therefore, he did everything possible to prevent them from becoming puppets of the shadow government (he had his own methods, but I'm too lazy to describe them).

So, let's get to the point. I mentally divide all the clones into sane, deviant and ZOMBIES (or brainwashed). Sane people are those who have their own position, are less influenced by the Shadow Government, understand the danger of the situation and want to gain personal freedom. Zombies are people who are doomed to stay in the tower and be used by Shadow Figures for their personal purposes, because their perception of the world is completely turned inside out and will not be the same anymore. Between them, the deviant ones are usually clones who have some disorders due to trauma after living in the tower, but they are still aware of the whole situation and basically refuse to be someone's slaves. Now that we have a rough idea of the spectrum, I want to discuss with you which clone is where on this spectrum.

I was smart enough only to distribute the main characters (and a couple of secondary ones). Most of them are closer to sanity in the spectrum, but they tend to deviate due to psychological trauma, obviously. I want to mention Joan as an example, because although she is the “brains of the team”, she is prone to Stockholm syndrome and, as shown in the first part, sometimes remembers “home” and regrets what she did. That’s why she is not 100% sane.

But I definitely will have a team of complete zombies in the comic who will condemn the main characters for fighting, recruit other runaway clones and try to return them to the tower. Yes, there are clones who were initially against escape and were content to live in the tower, but now they survive on the streets and are extremely unhappy with the situation. But I don’t know who could it be.… But these are definitely clones from the extras, episodic or secondary! You can even suggest your own fan clones, just for fun! (Reminder: My AU is open to everyone and your fan clones can participate in the story, and they can be in any part of the spectrum!). 

That's it. I have nothing to add… ask me questions about my AU if you want, I’ll be very glad to answer! 

and read exclamation!2080 on globalcomix ofc!!! :p

[mushrooms-and-dragons]

When I say I like sunshine x grumpy what I mean is that I like heavily traumatized but hides it behind a smile and overly cheery-ness x also heavily traumatized but more obviously so.

They both have terrible coping mechanisms, but hey they're trying, ok.

Bonus points if the grumpy takes care of the sunshine just as much as the sunshine takes care of them. Also if they slowly let their walls down and let each other in.

It doesn't have to be romantic, but if it is, it had better be queer.

[coquelicoq]

i'm now looking at my list of least favorite french words to pronounce and going "too many r's" for about 40% of them and "skill issue" for most of the rest. some of these are actually very fun to pronounce i just couldn't wrap my tongue around them a year or so ago, but now i can i guess??? so that's very exciting. makes me hope that someday i'll be able to pronounce the rest of them. this is a bit pie in the sky because i really don't see myself ever getting there with procureur du roi but you never know. and luckily the french abolished the monarchy so it's not like i'll ever have to use that phrase in modern conversation.

anyway here are the words i actually love pronouncing now: décaféiné diététicien filleul pneumonie

i now feel normal/neutral about these words that used to be hard for me: automne, condamner douloureux électricité, énergie inférieur, supérieur, etc. itinéraire lourdeur salmonellose sclérose subodorer succincte

words that are definitely within the realm of my current capability but i haven't practiced them enough: bugle hiérarchisation méditerranéen phtisie

words that are still the bane of my existence but i live in hope: [yʁ] plus at least one other r or [y] sound: chirurgie, fourrure, marbrure, moirure, nourriture, ordures, peinturlurer, procureur du roi, prurit, purpurin, sculpture, serrurerie, structure, sulfureux, tournure all words beginning with ur-, hur-, or sur- other difficult sequence of r's and vowels: construire and other -truire verbs; lueur and sueur; utérus too many r's: marbre, martre, meurtre, opprobre, proroger, réfrigérateur, rétrograde, rorqual difficult sequence of vowels and/or semivowels: coopérant, extraordinaire, hémorroïdal, kyrie eleison, météorologique, micro-ordinateur, micro-organisme, mouillure, quatuor, vanillier not pronounced the way i would expect from the spelling: indemne, penta-, punk just hard for some reason: humour

[tibtew]

*clutching head* rodya and meursault would have such a good dynamic actually

I wonder if rodya would initially see meursault's indifference as like. a simpler version of her own feigned carefreeness and as a deliberate attempt to place himself as an outsider... only to realise that No, he really Is just Like That. and then she gets annoyed because it turns out that people who don't care about anything don't seem to be any fun.

(ofc he does actually care about a lot of things, just not necessarily his grander place in the world lol)

idk. nihilism vs absurdism. fun duo 👍 rodya would find meursault's genuine comfort with being a speck of dust in the universe baffling, while he would probably find her desire to assert her own importance pointless, but they could probably bond over little things like their shared desire to live in the present and appreciation of/indulgence in earthly joys. and meursault would probably listen if rodya wants to rant about anything without asking any uncomfortable questions. I think they could appreciate each other's presence.