#i'm just realising i have a wig that could work for it

[winter-wise]

How good are they at drag? - Baldur's Gate Characters

Gale: Waterdeep canonically has its own drag subculture, so he'd know the most about it, and his time working on the somatic components of spells means he can vogue at the speed of lightning. But while the spirit and the hands may be willing, the knees are weak. A single death drop would kill this man. I feel that he'd play to his strengths because he knows his bad back and creaky knees can't keep up with anything too vigorous, so while he'd put together something fun and visually impressive, it isn't a very athletic routine.

Karlach: Oh, she'd have so much fun. She likes dancing and Samantha Beart played her as a little Gender, so you'd end up with a fun and happy drag king persona who's having such a good time.

Astarion: He's dexterous, theatrical, and a dab hand with a needle. The costume is flawless. The routine is daring. Not much makeup because he can't see himself in a mirror, but honestly he doesn't need it. He'd act like it's all just a pointless excercise, but he'd get competitive with it. After the performance he gets a lot of compliments and realises that he enjoyed it a lot more than he thought he would.

Lae'zel: Gith genders work differently, so I don't think she'd 'get' it. That being said, she'd make a very hot drag king, so she'd have a successful routine if she just got up on stage and threw knives at things, and not even in time to the music.

Wyll: Canonically a dancer - and a dancer with excellent stamina. Routine practiced to perfection. He could perform it in his sleep. Having so much fun. I think he'd pick out a great song to do the performance to, as well.

Shadowheart: I'm open to having my mind changed about this, but I don't think she'd be good at it. She'd have some fun though. Support bad drag!

Halsin: I'm sorry king but I've seen your dance moves at the afterparty.

Minthara: At first, she flat-out refuses. Why would she ever want to pretend to be a man? Minthara thinks men suck. But if you could talk her into it you'd actually end up with a very funny routine as she puts on the persona of a weak and scared drow man, fluttering about the stage.

Jaheira: I have no evidence for this, but I think she'd be good at it. Gets up on stage, acts like a grade A DILF for the duration of one song, gets off the stage, says it was fun later in a very matter-of-fact way. Embarrases her kids.

Minsc and Boo: Minsc tears off his wig midway through the performance, revealing Boo underneath.

[messenger-of-babel]

With You Again

Summary: Luis made you a promise, and that was that he would come back no matter what. (Luis x reader)

Word Count: 2.8K

Notes: I 👏 LOVE 👏 LUIS. I was so excited to get a chance to write for him so I hope I did him justice. Warning for potentially incorrect Spanish? I checked twice to be sure, and it's basics, but please please let me know if something's off. Minor language.

Ahhh Luis how I miss you TT.

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Luis Serra had always been an enigma of a man.

You couldn't fault that, after all it is what drew you to him in the first place. Sure, maybe it had started out with the intentions of being a one-night stand, a mere hookup. You mean, who could resist the way he looked bathed in the dim lighting of the bar, one arm thrown over the back of the bar stool, other hand tapping the table twice as he asked for a refill. The way that his eyes caught your gaze, sizing you up like prey, causing a charming grin to flash your way.

Sure, that is what had brought you in, but that's not what made you stay.

You stayed because you didn’t realise how warm those arms could keep you at night until you had slept in them. You didn’t realise how soft those fingers against the table could be until he was running them through your hair while you watched TV on your couch, massaging your scalp softly after a long day. His eyes may gleam like a predator, but after the moonlight's gone they soften like an unfurling cat, warm and comforting. The way the smile that screamed 'mistake' could melt into a soft grin when he laughed.

However, for all of his soft edges, there was still a cold shadow that clung to him. You could see it in the way his eyes clouded over on nights you'd been having a few too many glasses of wine, his gaze cast out the window. The tense purse of his lips when you asked him to share about his day at work, the anxious chuckle and flirtatious direction when you asked about his family.

"You want to know more about me, eh cari��o?" he'd chuckle, pet name rolling off his tongue like honey. "I'm flattered."

He'd tell you the barest of bones, times about living with his grandfather in a rural village back in Spain. You hadn't pushed when you came up against his resistance. People had skeletons in their closet, that much was to be expected. You just couldn't help the gnaw of worry that dared to ask how many you'd count if you opened that door.

That was the way you ran your relationship, and for one whole year it worked fine. He'd go to work, a small university science lab he had signed up for. Apparently, he had some big wig science gig before meeting you, but he said he wanted something smaller, something less stressful.

"Needed a change of pace." he said to you over breakfast one day, but his jaw was tensed and his eyes flickered back to his food after only a moment.

So, when you came back home one night, you had expected him to still be holed up on the other side of the city. What you hadn't expected was the form of your boyfriend, half-dressed pulling your apartment to shreds. As you walked into the carnage of the living room, a pang of fear springs into your lungs when you see his shirtless form changing into new clothes, his body language anxious and wound. A brief second passes and your mind can only assume that he's cheating, why else would he be in a rush half naked? However, when his eyes meet yours, they're clouded in a different kind of guilt.

"Mi Vida." he greets softly, hands still busying themselves but eyes softening the way they only do for you. Your mouth moves silently as you scan the overturned couch, books thrown over the rug. "What the hell is going on?" you breathe out, eyebrows pinching together. Luis comes in front of you, grabbing your arms softly and sliding his hands up till he grips your wrists. His warm hands cover your own in a single motion, rough callouses of his thumbs pressing into the soft centre of your palms. "Lo siento," he murmurs, bringing his face closer to yours. You can't help the way that blood rushes to your ears, and your breath comes out in soft exhales, warm against his lips. "I didn't want you to worry. I didn't think you were going to be back so soon."'

"Well, I was." you say back softly. "And too late, I'm incredibly concerned."

His lips twitch into a small smile, the candle of mirth in his eyes sputtering weakly. "You care too much about a man like me, cariño." he says softly, tone warm.

 "I care just enough." you defend. "Now tell me what is going on."

He dips his head forward, kissing you briefly as he pulls away. "One for the road." he says, eyes sad despite the smile he sends your way. Your blood freezes. Maybe you would you have done better to catch him cheating.

"Are we breaking up?" you ask, incredulous and voice on the rise. "Are you leaving?"

He's still scavenging things to throw into a duffel bag on your coffee table, flipping through books. "I'm not cheating." he says firmly, eyes meeting yours. "Never that. So don't mistake it. But..." he says quieter as he shoves a paperclipped stack of folders into the bag. "I do have to go."

The zipper squeals as he slides it harshly, throwing his eyes to the bedroom before back to you. He sighs. "Mi Vida, I…I'm not as good of a person as you think I am." he murmurs softly. "There's things you don't know about me, things that would make you run for the hills faster than I could catch you."

His eyes look up to meet yours, searching. "But you make me want to be better, no- you make me better, cariño." he says, voice growing in passion. You come around to stand back in from of him, determined. "Then tell me. Tell me what's going on, I can help."

He shakes his head. "I'm doing this for you. I'm doing this for all the people I've hurt. I would never be able to forgive myself if something happened. Let’s just say I, uh, have some loose ends to tie up." he says, hand on your shoulder. "Things back home that I have to fix."

"Back home like…your village back home?" you ask curiously. He winces at that but eventually nods.

"See, when I left, I didn't look back. I didn't leave in a very…favourable fashion let’s just say. But the people there are suffering or have suffered all because of me. Something I did." he says, tone heavy. "I can't…I can't just ignore it. I have to make it right. If I'm to be with you, I need to make it right." he says. There's conviction in his voice, his hand tightening slightly but not enough to hurt.

"Luis, you don't need to do anything." you reply, placing your hand delicately over his. He just shakes his head again, exhaling softly through his nose.

"Please," he says, voice quiet. "I want to be the man you deserve, cariño. I have to go back." he murmurs. The tone manages to bring tears to your eyes, and your do your best to not let them mist over.

"You make it sound like it's going to be dangerous." you chuckle, but there's no humour to it, smile falling a second later. "Oh, Luis," you breathe out. "Just what have you gotten into?" your fingers go up to trace his cheek, and he tilts his face into your open palm. He offers you a weak smile in return. "Nothing I can't handle." he says back in that flirtatious tone you love, making you roll your eyes. They land on the duffle bag, and your shoulders sag.

"You're really leaving huh?" you whisper, and he nods solemnly.

"Aye, cariño. I am." he confirms, stepping back from you. You feel like you should be screaming or crying, anything but the feeling in your chest. It’s warm but heavy, constricting your lungs. It doesn't feel real, like a thick blanket was cast over your emotions. You are only able to do one thing, which is a short nod. His eyes soften slightly as your dejected look reaches him. "It's not forever. Not if I can help it. I'm going to change." he reassures you.

You head into the bedroom silently, the decor faring little better than the living room. You wish you were able to conjure the voice within yourself to scream at him, tell him that you didn’t want him to change. That you wanted him to stay the same Luis who loved you all the same, who woke you up early in the morning with coffee and kept you up all night in bed. There's files and documents scattered about that you've never seen before, hidden around the apartment. The paintings, the pillows, the mattress, all hiding places now clearly revealed by him on his rampage. You step over all of it, instead heading to check something at the bottom of the closet.

Luis comes to stand by the doorframe, now covered in a button up that was draped on the back of the overturned couch. "Cariño?" he calls curiously, eyes worried and face pinched. As you open the closet you can see he hadn't found the box, and your shoulders drop in relief. You pull it out and stand back up, coming over to him. The wrapping is simple. A large, cream coloured box and lid, slightly dusty from sitting there for months.

"For you." you softly offer, holding it out for him. "It was for our anniversary next month. But if you're leaving…" your voice finally wobbles and the tears threaten to burn again. "You…you are coming back, right?" you ask, salty water slipping forth finally. He pulls you into a hug instantly, his heart breaking as he sees you struggle. "I will do everything I can to come home, cariño." he murmurs firmly. "Please know that."

He takes the box gingerly, eyes crinkling in the corners as he takes in your gift. He puts it on the bed and removes the lid, pushing the wrapping paper aside as he picks up your gift. He turns it over in his hands, lips parting in awe. "Mi Vida..." he says, a grin forming. "You've outdone yourself."

In his hands is an embossed leather jacket, colour gradient shifting in the low light. The embossed parts on the shoulders are a light golden colour, highlighting the filigree design that curls onto the back as well. Two sets of buckles and straps sit low so he can adjust it, and the collar is flat and neat.

"I got it custom made." you say softly, heart soaring as he tries it on and gestures with his arms.

"It fits like a glove," he smiles at you. "How do I look?"

A soft smile crosses your face as you come to him, smoothing the lapels down. "I think you look, incredibly, incredibly handsome." you beam. He makes a look of mock offence. "Only handsome? What about incredibly daring? overwhelmingly sexy, eh?" he teases, making you roll your eyes.

"Oh yes, I'm practically ripping my clothes off." you joke arms coming to rest on his shoulders as your arms circle his neck. His teeth flash dangerously as you say that. "Don't tempt me." he teases, ducking his head down to steal a kiss from you.

You slip a hand inside the pocket on the front, pulling out a piece of paper between your fingers. His eyes trace it as you flip it, showing him the photo of the two of you from your first date. He had taken you out dancing but one of your shoes had broken only a few hours into the night, so you had both ended up at his place downing a few bottles of wine over conversation. Your cheeks are flushed and eyes hazy with wine, glass still raised to your lips despite the smile you're wearing. He's got a lit cigarette trapped between his pointer and forefinger; eyes surprised as you snap the photo. Luis's eyes crinkle in warmth as he looks at it.

"You said you didn't any photo that night," he says, lips tilting upwards. "You little liar."

You shrug, patting the pocket you pulled it out of. "I wanted it to be a surprise. So, you could carry around a memory of us."

His hearts warms and he can't help but spin you around. "You really are too good to me," he murmurs into your hair, placing a kiss there.

"I wanted to get you something you'd actually wear. Something fitted and made with all the love I could put into it so it would be like a hug whenever you wore it. I added something too, it's not very good but…" you say, pulling up the collar to point out the wonky brand etched into the underside of it, pointing out the rough stitches of your initials together. "I wanted it to be able to hug you when I can't." you say softly. Luis's eyes mist up before they close softly.

"Te amo," he whispers. "Te amo mucho. I promise. I promise I'll come back. In some way or some form, I’ll be with you again." he slides the photo back into the jacket and pats the pocket. "After all, I got a piece of you with me now, eh?"

He spends the night with you, his hands refusing to be anything but intertwined with yours despite their penchant to wander. His lips brand across your skin like a starved man, his body committing yours to memory. He was gone in the next morning, apartment put back together as much as it could be and bed cold when you rolled over.

Days turned to weeks, weeks to months, and the anxious pit only grew. It made you stay up, looking to the door every night as if he'd come waltzing in, shit eating grin on his face and arms open and expectant.

One night when you do get the knock your heart leaps into our throat, forgoing the slippers in favour of dashing to the door. You open it with eagerness, pulse rapidly thumping in excitement to scold him. To chastise him for making you wait so long, for taking his sweet time away from you.

it isn't Luis.

It's a solemn looking man on your apartment doorstep, eyes cast down and fingers fiddling awkwardly with a piece of crumpled paper in his hands. The man clears his throat, and when he speaks you can pick up his American accent. "Is this the residence of Luis Serra?" he asks quietly, and your heart falls seeing the paper he now holds to eyesight. The paper with your address, written in Luis's familiar chicken scratch.

No.

No no no.

you shake your head in panic but collect yourself and eventually nod. "Yeah." you force out. "It is."

His face flickers with recognition, falling sadly. "I see." he says softly, before reaching for something in his pocket, pulling it out with a closed fist. He hovers it over your shaky one, and something cool drops into your trembling palm. Uncurling your fingers, tears drip down your nose as you recognise his silver rings, flecked with dark copper specks.

"He was my…my friend." the man starts, head bowed. "He saved us. We wouldn't have made it out without him."

You don’t hear the words, the subtext ringing in your mind.

He's dead. Luis Serra is dead.

You manage to stutter out a thank you, leaving the two of you in an awkward silence as he stands in the doorway. "I tried to get his jacket." the man softly says, straightening himself to leave. "He said he wanted to give you something of his, but he refused to take it off. He…he said he wanted to feel you with him when he went."

That’s enough to pull a sob from you, and the man looks away guiltily. "I'm so sorry for your loss." he murmurs, before he takes his leave and you shut the door, sliding down it. You cried into the rings clutched in your hands, shaking. You slipped them onto your fingers, the cool metal too big to sit properly. You clench your fists in a prayer, trying to control your breath. Your thumb rubs across the grooves of the metal, some patches worn from Luis carrying out the same motion.

Luis didn't come home.

but sitting on the floor of your apartment living room with tears down your cheeks, thumbs spinning his favourite rings, you remembered what he told you.

In some way or some form, I’ll be with you again.

You laugh with no joy, fingers digging into the metal. You only had his rings, but that was all you needed to know he was in the room with you.

[paddockbunny]

One

Summary: Aria Armund is hired by Alpine as an "image guardian" for a reluctant Pierre Gasly - AKA she is hired to be his "babysitter". What happens as the season progresses and both of them have their buttons pressed by the other? And what happens when one of them suggests making a rather interesting bet? Rating: 18+. Pairing : Pierre Gasly x Aria Armund (OC) Word Count : 4,418 Trigger Warnings : 18+, NSFW, misogynistic Pierre, language, mention of sex & blowjobs, descriptions of women's bodies etc. 💞Authors Note : This is going to be written from a first person narrative and will switch from Aria's POV and Pierre's POV. No idea how long this will be but I'm considering posting every race day (not sure yet due to work commitments, as usual). OH, and if you want to be added to a tag list then please comment on the newest chapter's before I make a dedicated page for it!!

Pierre

I let out a long, laboured sigh as I slide into the car. I really didn’t want to be doing this. I would much rather have been still in bed with Jessica - or was it Jenna or maybe Jennie, fuck maybe it was Julie? It began with a J in any case. And anyway, who fucking cares?! All that mattered was I had to peel myself away from her this morning to get to the factory on time for this dumb as fuck meeting. A groan escaped me as I suddenly remembered how fucking phenomenal Jessica (Jenna, Jennie or Julie) was at giving head and how I would much rather be getting sucked off right now rather than go to this boring meeting where some big wigs will talk AT me not TO me for a few hours and waste my day.

Ben opens the door on the other side of the car and gets in. He slides into the back next to me and I can’t help but glance over at him as as he checks his watch and tuts about the fact we’re going to be late. I let him stew instead of answering him. There’s no point. Last year I realised pretty quickly he was one of those types of guys. The ones that were so regimented and anal about doing things right and on time that even a minute behind schedule and he would be having an internal meltdown. I just let him do what he wants without input from me. So I pull my phone from my jeans pocket and smirk to myself when I see a DM from a Jocelyn Silva pop up - JOCELYN! Her name was Jocelyn! - so I click on it and it’s a photo. She’s lying in the bed I had just left her in throwing the camera some “come hither eyes” with a tiny little pout dancing across her full (filler injected) lips. But I only fleetingly glance at her face, it’s lower that I pay more attention too and the fact the bedsheet barely covered her exquisite boobs and the deep sun kissed glow from her tanned skin. I’m sure she said she was a model or trying to be a model and really, it wasn’t a stretch to imagine her in a bikini or lingerie in front of a camera. I swallow instinctively upon remembering what she tasted like last night before actually reading the text that went along with her provocative pic.

Jocelyn_S_Silva: 💋 last night was fun Papi, let’s do it again sometime?xxx

Was it too soon to ask if she would be down for tonight? That picture she sent was enough to give me blue balls for the rest of the day. I clear my throat so I don’t laugh aloud at how ridiculous I sounded. No pussy was that good to go chasing after so quickly. So I sent a stock response back;

PierreGasly: until we do…give me something to remember you by?🍑

And click off my phone to stare out of the window hoping I could stay in control of the blood rushing down toward my dick. It was raining (again) in England. The country looked so dull and grey in comparison to some of the other places we visited with the travelling circus that was F1 but they wanted me here, in Enstone for a meeting ahead of flying out for testing next week. Ben’s ear had already been significantly chewed off about that. I was supposed to be at the PSG match tonight, had a date lined up and everything - Aletta Dekker, sister of Lars Dekker the Dutch tennis player. We’d gone out a few times, fucked a lot, but I actually got on well with her. We could chat without feeling the need for it to go anywhere. It was just some fun with no strings attached. I didn’t have the balls to let her down over the phone so chickened out and text her saying I needed a rain check. The irony now as the rain hammered down on the car as we drove down a monotonous English motorway was not lost on me.

It took close to two hours to get to the factory. I never stayed near it simply because there was fucking nothing there so we’d come up from London to the factory and go back when the day was over. It wasn’t like all those years at AT where you could at least be in the beautiful Italian countryside and take in the stunning landscapes out the window, not fields and copious amounts of cows and sheep. When we finally pulled in front of the building where all the offices and important rooms with important people in them were, Ben finally asked if I knew what this was all about. Seriously, he didn’t even question this random meeting until the moment he stepped out of the car and I couldn’t help but shake my head at him. I liked Ben, he had become a good friend over the course of last year. It’s hard not to grow close to someone you see pretty much every day and does everything with you.

“No idea.” I told him as he rounded the back of the car as I shut the car door. “Hope I’m getting a raise for dealing with all that shit last year though.” Ben laughed at my words, which weren’t intended as a joke but must have sounded like one. As two of the guys from Alpine came out from the building to greet us, apologise for the bad weather and issue us inside my phone buzzed in my pocket and I wondered if that was the photo I had asked that Jocelyn girl for earlier. Took her time didn’t she? I made sure I didn’t scoff and tried to stay professional as we walked through the building while the guys I had met a million times before talked about the weather and asked me if it was better in Paris - clearly not clocking the tan I was sporting to realise I had certainly not spent my winter break in Paris.

“We’re just in here, Pierre.” The shorter, more rotund one of the two opened the door and held it open for me. I’d been in here before. It was where I had that big meeting with the big bosses after the incident in Singapore but the less said about that the better. I recognised everyone in the room. Otmar and the like were all sitting around the oval table and got up immediately to welcome me. But my eyes were firmly trained on the mass of long brown curls and feminine shoulders that were still sat at the table facing away from me. This was a new addition. There hadn’t usually been a woman at these meetings before. I glance around and confirmed no one had been fired and I hadn’t found out. So maybe she was just a new PR girl or one of the girls that worked in the offices at the factory. Otmar suggested I take a seat and so I did. The mystery girls head turned slightly, enough that I could make out some of her features. Cute straight nose, naturally full lips and high as hell cheekbones. She had to have only been around 23 or 24 perhaps? But maybe I was wrong and she only just looked younger - I wasn’t the best at women’s ages and my I knew better than to presume I knew anything about the feminine being anyway - anyway, as Otmar started speaking I would be sure to find out exactly who this new addition was.

“As you know, at the end of last season I told you I would be discussing things with some of our bosses and whatnots at the end of year review we have. The big debrief meeting where all the heads of department get together and talk about the good things and the not so good things that happened and how we could look to improve in the future. Y’know, like our race debriefs at the end of a race day….” Yeah Otmar, I know, I’m not fucking stupid get to to point. I pull my leg up and rest my ankle upon my opposite knee while I sit back in the chair and nod in the right places. “Well, one of the things that kept coming up was the tension between yourself and Esteban and the incidents that arose last year.” He means him running me off the track at two separate races, trying to break test me anytime I was behind him, me bashing him in front of the cameras any chance I got but it was probably, the public near fight caught by cameras in Singapore when I tried to get my own back by flirting with his girlfriend that was what he was really referring too.

“Pierre with your results last year there’s no doubt of your future within the team but the negative attention the pair of you have garnered has raised a lot of concern.” “Otmar I…” I was going to tell him it takes two to tango and if this conversation was happening with me it better be happening with Ocon too. He was as much to blame for last year as I was. But a hand made me pause while he continued. “However, after some deliberation on how to resolve the conflict and how we can possibly move in a more positive direction for all of us involved. We have decided to bring in an image guardian.” I look at him like he’s grown another head. What the fuck was an image guardian? And that was when I saw his hand flick over toward the girl that had momentarily occupied my mind before Otmar started talking.

This time, when I looked over at her, she was looking straight back at me with quite possibly a pair of the most striking blue eyes I had ever seen before. A soft, sincere smile spread across her lips as her hand rose from her lap in a “that’s me” gesture. Fuck, I couldn’t help but imaging those eyes staring up at me while she had her lips wrapped around my cock. Which involuntarily twitched in my jeans while I had to blink a few times to make sure I wasn’t daydreaming. The words “image guardian” were still ringing in my ears so I most certainly in reality and not a twisted dreamland. “Sorry, what exactly is an image guardian?” I had truthfully never heard of the term and was one hundred percent certain they were making this up. “Well, we felt that the added pressure that the press and marketing teams had to face last year was rather, unfair to them. Their jobs turned into looking after or, perhaps that’s not the right words, making sure the both of you were looked after which meant some of those PR people weren’t as focused on their jobs as maybe they should have been.” I knew he was indirectly referring to Claudia without actually wanting to say her name but the less said about her the better. “So we created the role of an image guardian specifically to make sure your own PR game is onboard with ours. Someone who can liaise from your side with regards to meeting the needs of the team.”

Things took a minute to click in. He was bullshitting. This was a totally made up job so they could make someone my fucking nanny. “A babysitter?” I exclaimed loudly, my anger clearly evident in my voice and body language mimicking it. My foot fell back to the floor and I leaned in. “I don’t need a fucking babysitter.” I glance back over toward this girl whose name I didn’t even know (but who moments ago I had envisioned fucking) that was now labelled as my fucking au pair. “Pierre, it’s image guardian and we feel that you do.” Otmars voice changed tone. He was now not as breezy has he had been. He turned direct and much more commanding. “This is bullshit.” “Esteban has also been given an image guardian who will consult regularly with Miss Armund to ensure a more harmonious season this year. I can’t stress enough how this needs to work, Pierre. You know what can happen if it doesn’t.” I fucking knew. I had seen how people like Ricciardo and Mick Schumacher had been treated. Fuck! How I myself had been treated a few years ago at Red Bull. But a minder? Really? “And what is it she’ll do?” “I think Miss Armund is best to talk to you about that.”

“Hi…” She was nervous. She took a pause after simply saying hello. I was probably glaring at her like I wanted to set her on fire which might not have helped, but rage ran through my veins like boiling hot lava. “Firstly, I just want to introduce myself. I’m Aria Armund. I was born and raised in France till I was 10 and then moved here to England so if you want to talk to me in French you can, I’m bilingual.” There was a pause when she looked at me and I could tell she was waiting for me to say something polite (probably in French) but absolutely nothing came to mind that I wanted to say to her. She took a little breath in and it was usually while I was giving girls the come on when they got this nervous around me. I rolled my eyes and pressed my tongue to the roof of my mouth as the pause seemed to get longer. I observed her straightening up and let out a quick exhale. She seemed to be gathering herself and I clocked her little touch of the bracelet on her wrist as if it was somehow giving her the strength to keep going.

“So basically, what I’m here to do is to look after you. You’re not particularly incorrect in thinking I’m a “babysitter” as you called it. My sole purpose is to keep you out of trouble. To minimise any issues you may have with your team mate and prevent them from leaking into the media. I’ll also help make sure your image doesn’t suffer from all of your liaisons with various….friends, and you don’t end up on the gossip pages as you have done in previous years. I’ll make sure your reputation and that of Alpine isn’t damaged in any way, shape or form.” Where did her sudden directness come from? Her nerves seemed to evaporate immediately. It was confusing it happened at such breakneck speed. But how she managed to take control of herself and take charge was nothing shorter than a major turn on. She could take control of me anytime she wanted. “Ok?” She smiled and it was now on me.

I had nothing to say or at least nothing came to mind as those swimming pool blue eyes stared into mines like they were trying to read my mind. As she turned her head away and Otmar went to speak suddenly a question did pop into my head. “Who does Ocon have?” I asked the question in the direction of her turned head. When she looked away some of her glossy curled locks fell across her shoulder and drew my attention directly to her ample chest. She was a woman - very much a woman - and I had a horrible feeling that Alpine might have been trying to set me up for failure. What with everything that happened with Claudia. “Excuse me?” Otmar seemed confused. “Who is looking after Ocon? You said he had a babysitter too.” In those minutes my question went unanswered, I hoped it would click on someone’s brain about why I was asking and I wouldn’t actually have to fucking say it. “Uh….” Otmar sat back in his chair and narrowed his eyes at me in a fashion that told me he twigged and he realised the intonation behind my questioning. He didn’t expect me to react like this, did he? During the increasingly awkward pause I fully believed that he was imposing this girl on me as a way to trip me up so he could get rid of me at the end of the year. If Esteban got a guy babbysitter then there was my answer. He would be getting off with his dickhead behaviour last year. “Mr Ocon’s guardian is Kyle Gilby.” Aria spoke up and I let out a quick exhale of air. Why the fuck did this not surprise me? I knew it. I could sense it from the way Otmar was staring at me. Ocon gets someone he can talk to, level with and I get stuck with her? Typical. “Is there a problem Mr Gasly?” Fuck her calling me Mr Gasly. Girls only usually called me that in the bedroom, not a boardroom.

I pretend there isn’t but there is. The whole thing is totally fucked but what can I do? I don’t want thrown out my seat so I have to play ball. And if that means I have to have a babysitter then fine, I’ll do it. This whole thing was feeling like a massive, risky, fucked up game of temptation? I made an audible scoff because I know where this is going and I know she won’t last long meaning they’ll probably get their way. I can’t help the fact I was born a flirt and women always fell for it. I’d give it two or three months before they’ll be having conduct meetings with me after she breaks her fraternisation contract clause after firing her for sleeping with the person she’s there to manage. It’s happened before and it will happen again. After all, it’s their own fault for hiring someone that would look more at home in Playboy or Sports Illustrated than working in an F1 team. They seriously couldn’t have hired someone less, tempting? They couldn’t have given her to Ocon and at least pretend they weren’t setting me up for failure?

Thankfully the meeting was over rather quickly. There were orders to go with her somewhere so she could do something or other and go over stuff but by that point I was zoned out. I cancelled my plans for this? They could have just told me over the phone. I didn’t need to be here in person when it would have been a quick email. I try not to sigh when I lean forward in my chair to get up but notice her move first. When she rises from her seat I can’t help but cast my eyes over her body. A perfect rack was hidden behind a satin-y type blouse and her smart, tight trousers did little to stem my attention away from her perky, peachy rear practically begging to be spanked. I was right. Playboy or Sports Illustrated. She would look so pretty on her knees. Give it a few weeks, I tell myself. By Miami she’ll be begging for me. I can tell.

Fifteen minutes later we were sat in a smaller, more bland impersonal office while she tried to convince me to hand over my social media passwords. “Mr Gasly, I assure you that your accounts and information will be safe with me. I simply need access in order to keep on top of any potential Alpine related business.” She was getting me riled up at this point. “Last year I believe there were, incidents, over social media with some questionable comments?” She was referring to the emoji’s wasn’t she? The PR girls laughed about them last year but she said it with a straight face. “I simply need to be able to delete anything that would be unsavoury toward your own reputation and the team.” “Telling people my favourite sex position through an emoji is not damaging to my reputation or the team.” I retort back with a smooth laugh. I thought it would throw her but the silence and stoney face I was met with made me push it even further. I smirked before adding; “it’s the dog by the way.” Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I couldn’t recall the last time I wasn’t able to flirt and smooth talk a girl into at least raising a smile. But there was nothing from her. “It’s the dog because my favourite position is doggy…” “Yes, I gathered that Mr Gasly.” She hastily shut me up and I noticed her roll her eyes. Was she not into men? Maybe that’s why my forwardness wasn’t doing it for her.

“Please, your passwords.” I watched as slowly she placed her pen on top of a notepad and pushed it across the glass topped table toward me. Her eyes didn’t leave mine. They stayed trained on me as if she had gone through military training. Unflinching. I would have been complaining if they weren’t so fucking captivating. You could get lost in these eyes.

“Earn them.” I glanced over toward Ben and smirked again. It was a game at this point. I couldn’t help myself. “Excuse me?” “I said, earn them.” I didn’t even know where this was going or why it was coming out of my mouth. I just went with it. I liked how women would squirm a little when I turned it on and I desperately wanted to know she was eating out of the palm of my hand, so sue me. But if I expected her to crumble like all of the others she surprised me. She sat back in her chair and took a deep breath before exhaling. For a brief second I thought I won and I managed to rattle her but unfortunately for me, apparently not.

“Listen, looking after a twenty-seven year old self confessed playboy is not something I thought I would be doing when I got this job so if you think your flirting will have an effect on me and I will pull a Claudia, was it? Then you are very much mistaken.” It was I that was rumbled. And she had to mention last years indiscretion by name so she had clearly been told all about it - or had she read about it online and didn’t need anyone else’s judgment about it to pass her own judgment on to me? “Now…Mr Gasly, your passwords.” Touché. Fucking Touché.

I reached for the pen and notepad and noted how much I felt like a child. It was as if I had been sent to the Alpine School’s principle’s office for being naughty in class. As I wrote down the passwords for her highness, my phone buzzed again in my jeans pocket and it suddenly l dawned on me that she would see everything I received. She would see all of the DMs I was sent along with the mountains of nudes (such as those waiting on me from last nights hook-up) that various girls sent me, mostly without a single shred of prompting. I should probably have felt a little embarrassed or ashamed by them in all fairness but for some reason - probably because she was acting like a fake ball buster she actually was one - I wasn’t. Let her look. There’s probably a fair few suggestive ones of myself on there she could find too if she really wanted too. I cursed the route of thought my own mind suddenly drove me down as now I was imagining her sliding her hand down past the waistband of her tight trousers to get off on the risqué pics I had floating around in some conversations. But she didn’t seem like the type. Fortunately for me the passwords were enough to appease her, for now. She smiled - a fake one of course - and said that was all, I could leave before adding she would would see me at testing. She would be at testing? This girl was really going to be sticking to me like glue, wasn’t she?

Thankfully, this whole fiasco was clearly coming to an end and I glanced toward the door and was desperately trying to think of something smart to say and a way to get out of here. I didn’t want to hang around for any longer than I needed to and certainly not long enough for her to continue getting one over on me or getting a metaphorical upper hand again, but it looked like she had and there was nothing I could do. When I happened to look toward Ben I realised he was smirking and clearly holding back a laugh. He was married and so never really joined in (nor understood) with the flirting and flustering behaviour I was king at. Now, after I had lost the opening match against her, it was as if he could read my startled little mind and I certainly didn’t like that. I arose out if my seat opposite my new babysitter and stared at her for a moment. I couldn’t help but wonder if she had ever worked in F1 - or even just a sport - before because she didn’t act like how all the girls usually acted around guys in sport. She simply seemed unimpressed. Stoic almost. “Goodbye, Mr Gasly.” A normal girl would be turned on by saying that over and over again. By now imagining how it would feel to be bent over the glass desk and having me rail them into next week. But she used it formally, professionally and without a single shred of sarcasm. I just about managed to get to the door to the office when my phone buzzed loudly one more time and I paused to remove it from my pocket.

“I hope that isn’t something I am going to have to get involved in?” Her sweet, soft voice echoed from behind and my sudden laughter filled the room as my brain had come up with the most perfect of perfect responses. “Not unless you want to make it a threesome?” I didn’t hang around long enough for her to respond and mentally high fives myself for my quick retort. She lead herself into it and my brain couldn’t catch up to my mouth. She may have been hired to be my babysitter, but that didn’t mean I had to make it easy for her.

[dolljunk]

HooDude has always been a fave character of mine because he was so whimsical and silly, but the SDCC set was something I just couldn't justify buying because plush toys are so outside of my scope as a collector.

But recently I've been on a Monster High kick (in case you couldn't tell lol) and wanted to give making him a try as an experiment. I actually started a Hoodude custom a few years back, hoping to just make him a jointed figure but I wasn't happy with the direction I was going in.

I cobbled together a DC Superhero Girls body and some assorted spare parts before sculpting a head. I realised I could marry the two concepts of a hard plastic doll and a plush toy by setting about sewing an outer "skin". I can not fathom how to sew a plush toy but I do know how to draft a mostly fitting outfit so I went about approaching it as a fursuit using the foodwrap/masking tape method.

I used a mix of denims to match the different shades of his body and add some texture but I made sure to use a jersey knit for his head because that's how it's textured in the CGI movies.

For his hair, I used some minky fabric cut into strips and sewn them to his scalp in a similar way one would glue on wefts for a wig. I also did some freehand stitching for his face and used these two buttons for his eyes.

I'm really pleased with how he came out because I was worried about drafting the pattern for his fabric components totally freehand and making sure it fit snugly. His hands are actually removable so I can switch out tops and such if I really wanted to.

His jacket was a masking tape pattern put on top of his fabric skin since I wanted him to have the option to wear normal clothes and I'm glad I have a working hybrid of the two ideas.

[messrsrarchives]

heyyy you dont have to answer this but how did you know that you were transmasc rather than gender fluid?

HI !! first of all, i really appreciate how you worded this 😖😖 i've been asked this so much but always along the lines of "have you ever considered that you might be genderfluid instead?" when i have makeup on, and i'm currently putting on glittery eyeliner so this is so relevant !!

for me it was just that my "femininity" wasn't connected to my gender at all. i had a big hyper'feminine' stage before coming out to try and,,, repress it ig? i thought maybe i just wasn't pretty enough as a girl and i had to try harder. full face everyday, massive lashes and eyeliner, split dyed long hair, the clothesss. obviously, didn't work. but what i didddd realise was that i wasn't upset about it. the skirts, makeup, hair, any of it. none of it made me sad, it made me feel nice. but she/her still felt wrong.

i trialled all pronouns with close friends, switched them out every now and then, and he/him was the only one that stuck.

AND !!! the big bit was my cis male friend wearing makeup once and i was like "this is what i want. i want to wear makeup like this."

this probably doesn't help, but it just didn't fit me. i don't feel like a different gender when i look more 'feminine', i just feel nice. but my voice, body, and facial structure? those didn't make me feel nice. so yeah, came out as a trans man.

like i even own wigs and i like putting on a full beat and a wig sometimes, but i still identify as a man when i do that, i just like how i look.

idk. this probably does not help at all, but the pronouns were the big thing for me, and seeing cis men express their "femininity" made me realise that i could identify in a way that fit, and still explore those parts of myself. it was a longgg journey, like i knew years before i "came out" that i was trans, and tried so many other things because i didn't want to admit it. but here we are.

[quinndominion]

Urns, Urns, Everywhere. And sometimes Un-Armed Statues.

Another hitch. But not with the set dressing so much. I realised that none of my Widespot men had body hair, so I guess the controller wasn't in the files when i first loaded up Past Widespot. Which is weird...that's staple cc, goes with me in every setup. And Nelson has his... (Maybe I did altSurgery to get them re-costumed? Would that do it? Remove their overlays?) Anyway, had to switch over to Widespot proper to find out which body hair they each usually have. (Even though I have no present intentions of re-shooting a damn thing...I know I might once i've pruned all the pics and it's only one or two where a hairless arm is visible.)

But I was still, am still, in the game with the cc for RESPECT for which I only carried over some stuff from my Widespot folder so...urns...

...more urns...and a whole lotta statues. I don't even know what any of these are meant to be replacing. Around the pool especially. The fence is intact, so what else was there? This house doesn't exist yet in the timeline I'm working on so it couldn't possibly matter. But seeing this has had the knock on effect of making me less obsessive about the floating artifact at the Beech house. I mean, I did save and move on like I said, but I could sense my brain still trying to solve the mystery of the missing cc. And now it's just like, eh, whatever. Could be worse.

And while I was at it, a few pics of Wrong Widespot.

So...Rich has a want to drink Lana...and a fear of being struck by lightning. Actually worried about a smiting there, Rich?

It's funny to me because I was just writing an aside about Rich's willingness to dispose of his women who displease him. But actually giving him the benefit of the doubt (of a sort) to the extent that once he considers them disposable they become simultaneously not worth the bother. Maybe I was wrong?

Even though Una's got such distinctive features - like, this couldn't be any other baby - the randomised hair and that dress make her look very not-Una to me.

Same with Penny. No one else's Penny looks remotely like mine, if only because she's not green. But even though the genetic cc is intact and probably most of her makeup, she still doesn't really feel quite like my Penny.

She also happens to want to be struck by lightning here. My Penny seldom asserts her knowledge-sim-ism like that. And she wants to flirt with Rhett and invite him over? Like, what, really? Let's get you back into your own proper world and, hopefully, proper mind, pronto.

Dora popping up in this scarf is, unfortunately, giving me ideas. But, we'll see.

Aw no, Daytona, no. Why they do that to you? This hair on her is like her worst nightmare vision of completely losing her sense of self and all her pride in her old age. It's not even grey, it's platinum blonde! Almost like she's trying to emulate that ex mother-in-law of her son's and came up far short of the mark. And Sandy's mother was a woman that she could not stand, by the way. So this really is like nightmare fuel. "Get this damn wig offa me! And don't you dare show this to nobody." Too late.

[wemade-an-arrangement]

So~ These were my free thoughts/reactions for Hamilton while watching😂😂 (I'm not including all scenes cuz I can't remember what I thought lol)

While watching, I did a lot of research (Not for the two Georges tho, I knew who they were )

" waw, Hamilton is so outspoken"

*me googling Hamilton* HE GOT SHOT? WHO SHOT HIM??? (I'm Trinidadian, I don't know American history so well 😫)

"That headband guy, Mulligan is so cool!"

"Gosh, Poor Burr. And he's gonna shoot Hamilton at the end~ well"

"Ohh Seabury! He sounds British. I think he's the King's representative. Seabury sounds like a British name already"

*listening to guns and ships* this gives Eminem.

"Sees king George"~ "I know him"

*listening to You'll be back* SLAYY GEORGE!!!

"You're making me maddd/ when you're gone, I'll go mad~ love the pun. "

"The tea which you hurled in the sea..... ~ ohh it's a Boston tea party reference!"

Listening I know him~ "aww his crazy little laugh~ aaaa"

"The Schuyler sisters!! Work! Now who's who? Thank you very much for singing your names"

Listening to what comes next "kg sounds so sad. The last da da day da really touched me"

"Awesome! Waw! ~ that's when I realised that groff is gay because of his voice. And he slays. I love him ❤️❤️.

"Gosh Hamilton, you could have kept it in your pants"

Maria enters*** (is that a kidnapper? She was in darkness so that's why 😫😅)

I thought she was sent by Jefferson or someone else to dirty Hamilton's water~

"Is it Maria or Mariah? I don't know"

(My name being Mariah 😭)

I don't have any time to seduce hamilton (I'm having tea with king george, and waiting for the damn pamphlet to be published!)

James Reynolds ( he reminds me of this lawyer who lives in the area I'm from 😂~ sorry)

Thomas Jefferson is so sassy. And Daveed is just really talented. But the real TJ scares me.

"Awww Angelica. I'm sorry for her"

"Where's George Washington's powdered wig?"

"Why do you write like you're running out of time~ me while writing my fanfics (its mdzs related fanfics btw. I haven't written any Hamfics)

George Washington is giving older guardian vibes. Like old man vibes 😫.

"Where's the man's wig~ Gosh, Washington is so deep! Dying is easy but living is harder"

King George is so cute 😌 and I already learnt about him from Historytok so. And obviously I love him in queen charlotte.

But I have only learnt about his life with porphyria. His family life~ descendants~

" John Adams???? Who's that? He spoke to Kg so long ago🥱"

~

It's like I got into Hamilton when I heard some of the songs all over tiktok and YouTube. So I decided to watch the musical❤️.

Don't worry~ I know about the history refs now🤭

[asbestos4president]

Ham episode 2 "Whoopsies" transcript

Below the read more due to spoilers

[soothing music box lullaby mixed with Indie snoring]

[crash]

Indie

(waking up. Realisation that a spaceship has crashed through her roof)

AAAAA

Patty (genuinely apologetic) Oh my god, ma'am, I am so sorry for crashing through your roof at 5am on a Wednesday morning… Could you please stop screaming? I don't want the neighbours to think someone's been murdered.

Indie Someone has been murdered! My husband is under your spaceship!

Patty Oh darn oh darn oh darn… Um, I don't really know first aid but I've seen that one House MD episode where House does surgery on his own leg in a bathtub, so I could try-

Indie No, no, absolutely not! I've been waiting for him to die for ages so I could study his internal organs for signs of extraterrestrial life! I wish you had killed him a little more neatly, but as an academic I'm used to working with what I've got.

Patty Oh…kay?

[knocking]

Butler Is everything alright in there, Mrs. First Lady?

Indie Everything is fine! My husband is alive and I have zero alien visitors! We're just trying something new in the bedroom!

Butler Pardon?

Indie BDSM!

Patty

(at the same time)

Remodelling!

Butler That sounds… Rather advanced.

Indie We've been experimenting with, uh, wallpaper play! You get some paste and a roller and then you-

Butler I don't need to hear the gory details, ma'am.

Indie Then give us some privacy!

Butler Does the Mrs. first lady project that she shall be finished in time for her scheduled flight, or shall I inform the astrophysics conference that you send your regards but you find yourselves rather… tied up? And unable to come?

Indie Oh, I'm sure we'll be done in seconds. You always are, aren't you, dear?

Patty Uh.

(trying to make her voice deeper)

Yes?

Butler Very well. I shall return in an hour to escort you to the airport.

[door closes]

Patty Mrs. First Lady?! Oh dear oh dear oh dear… Did I just-

Indie Yes, you just killed the president of the United States, a noble and charitable act that billions will thank you for. No need to brag about it. Can you pass me that scalpel?

[star spangled banner begins playing in the background]

Patty Please don't turn me in! I mean, I'd understand if you did, but it was really an accident and I don't want to go to jail and we all make mistakes when we're young and nobody actually liked him that much in the first place if you don't mind me saying so, Mrs. First Lady. I mean, I guess you're Miss First Lady Now, because I killed your-

[extremely loud incorrect buzzer]

maybe I should stop talking.

Indie Maybe you should. No, I'm not going to turn you in.

Patty So I can go? I'm really terribly sorry about your husband and all that, but I was kind of on my way somewhere when I ran out of fuel and dropped through your roof. Do you want money? I have money. It's really only about thirty bucks because I spent most of it on minecraft skins. Shoot.

Indie Are you stupid?

Patty Yes!

Indie Oh, good. That'll make it easier to convince you of my plan. Listen, random alien lady. You just killed the most valuable specimen in my collection and you're going to cost me several thousand dollars in roof repair, which is rude of you. The least you can do is put on this wig and pretend to be my dead husband so I don't have to miss my conference just to attend his boring funeral. Pretty please? By the way, you should think very carefully about this decision because I have some serious dirt on you.

Patty I see! The fake marriage gambit, where I sacrifice my dignity in the early game to gain a later advantage. That might have worked on me if I hadn't spent most of my life forced into a situation where the only opening I knew how to play was the hide in a closet defence! Send me to jail if you want, I will never pretend to be a man again!

Indie You don't have to. It gives us a better cover story, anyway. Why is the president suddenly twenty years younger and also a beautiful woman? That's just what estrogen does to a motherfucker. Here, put on his tie.

(in an enthusiastic voice)

Wow, the resemblance is non-existent!

Patty I do look good in a suit… And I do like free holidays… And you are threatening to send me to jail… Alright, fine. One condition, though!

Indie You're in no position to negotiate.

Patty

(unfazed)

I get to do an accent!

Indie No accents under any circumstance.

Patty Please? I always wanted to do theatre in high school but it clashed with chess club.

(doing a dubious Russian accent)

Hello, yes, it is me, the president of United State. Please direct me to your highly classified government secret.

Indie I want a divorce.

Patty We just got married! Hand me the wig.

[aeroplane announcement jingle]

Announcement Hey everyone, you're on a plane! That's pretty cool! There are, like, emergency exits, but I'm not sure where they are. Um, if the plane crashes, that's our bad and we're really sorry, but flying a plane is harder than it looks, okay? So before you get mad at us for dumping you into the pacific ocean, I'd like to see you try and pilot this thing. You couldn't even get it off the ground! So, yeah, think before you criticise others. Also, my aunt Martha runs a funeral home, so text your loved ones to tell them they can use the discount code PLANECRASH28 for 20% off your funeral arrangements. Just kidding, Martha doesn't do handouts. You're paying full price just like the rest of us lowly mortals. Thank you for flying with United!

[ending aeroplane announcement jingle]

Patty Whew. Man, going through customs is scary. I always feel like they're gonna find a bomb in my luggage. Good thing the worst thing I had in my bag was a jar of peanut butter.

Indie Tell me about it! I was so worried they were gonna hold us up because of the dead body in my carry on!

Patty The WHAT?

Indie Relax. I remembered to drain all the blood out beforehand, otherwise we would be way over the liquid limit.

Hey, stop looking at me like that. What was I supposed to do, just leave him there for the cleaners to find? I folded him up real neatly and tucked him in my backpack.

Patty

(Miserable sigh)

You have a plan for getting rid of the body, right?

Indie Of course!

Patty Then, I guess it's your move. I'm gonna nap for twenty hours. Wake me up when the refreshments come round, okay?

Indie Hey hey hey, nononono. This is my first time meeting an alien, and I need to collect data! Let's start with the basics. What's your name?

Patty Patty.

Indie My name is The Noble and Honourable First Lady of the United States Her Holiness Independence Day, but I guess you can call me Indie since we're married now. Where are you from?

Patty Porirua.

Indie Wow! What planet is that?

Patty Like, Wellington-ish.

Indie

(no idea where that is) Ah.

Patty Listen, I'm not even an alien. I just have purple hair and lacklustre social skills and a bad habit of finding myself in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Indie You literally flew in on a spaceship! That's alien behaviour!

Patty It was my ex's spaceship.

Indie Were they an alien?

Patty Yeah.

Indie What type?

Patty Lesbian.

Indie Nice of them to let you borrow their spaceship.

Patty Yeah.

Indie Reeeeal nice.

Patty Yeah, it was.

Indie You stole it, didn't you?

Patty

(almost simultaneously)

I think it's time for me to ask you something.

Indie Oh? You want to know how I scored the president?

Patty How did you know?

Indie It's all anyone ever asks. No, "how was your day, Indie?" No, "can you tell me a fun fact about Jupiter's moons?" Only, "how do I find a man as rich and spineless as your husband?"

Patty He only lost his spine this morning. It's a recent development. I watched you reach in and pull it out.

Indie Semantics. Anyway, here's the story. Ever since I was a little kid I was always fascinated by space. I wanted to be an astrophysicist until I realised it was all math. Then I wanted to be an astronaut until I realised the food was shit. Finally my mom asked why I couldn't just get a degree in something sensible like art history, so to spite her I went to medical school and passed with all A's. I wanted to get a job doing alien autopsies, but when I brought it up at the hospital job interview the hiring staff got real quiet.

Patty Right.

Indie They suggested I seek psychological counselling and gave me a pamphlet. I suggested they seek medical attention and gave them a nasty bruise. As I was running from security, I glanced down at the pamphlet and was struck by a powerful vision!

Patty That's an interesting way of describing getting tased.

Indie No! It was a powerful vision of a gap in the research field! Nobody has ever studied the psychology of aliens!

Patty Let me tell you, they have some serious issues with emotional vulnerability.

Indie Is this about your ex-girlfriend again?

Patty

(lying)

No!

Indie Uh huh. Now, let me show you the one thing I learned from my degree. Put on these sunglasses.

Patty Huh? Okay.

[laser sound effect. Glass shattering.]

Patty Wow! The glare at people so hard their heads explode strategy! They banned that at most major tournaments after an incident in 2008. I think you killed the guy behind me.

Indie He'll be fine! Unless he isn't. Then he won't be fine. Anyway, I learned it from my thesis supervisor. It was the look she would give me everytime I dropped my work off on her desk. She would take a long sip of her coffee, remove her glasses, wipe them down with a cloth just in case what she was looking at was a streak of dirt instead of the culmination of my many years of educational struggle, read it again, then let the words sit with her for a second, then look me in the eye and tell me, "Miss Day, this is not a quasi-experimental study investigating the impact of parasocial engagement with an outgroup on reducing intergroup prejudice. This is the first draft of a science fiction novel, and you misused a semi-colon in paragraph five."

Patty Then what?

Indie Then I stormed out of her office and headed to a cafe on campus to drown my sorrows in overpriced coffee. And who did I lock eyes with across the room but future president of the United States, Beau Jiden himself!

Patty And he grinned, and everything about him was perfect, and you fell in love instantly?

Indie What? No. He was eating yoghurt with a fork, and I thought, "man, what a freak!" The only logical conclusion was that he must be an alien, so I took him out on a date to study him up close. My suspicions were confirmed when I took him to see The Thing and he spent the whole movie crying and shielding his eyes from the screen. I figured he must have felt really homesick, so I patted him on the back and let him throw up in my empty popcorn bucket. I didn't realise he was just some guy until four years into our marriage, and by then it was too late. If we got divorced, I'd have to admit to my thesis supervisor that she was right all along, aliens aren't real, and the psychology of boring old men has already been studied so extensively that there wasn't a single neuron in his brain I could wring a research paper out of. Oh, we're here!

Patty We still have over half of the flight to go.

Indie I told you I had a plan to dispose of the body, didn't I? See that lake down there? Now, you hold the bag while I-

[glass smashing]

[smooth jazz]

[static]

[classical music]

[static]

[short extract of somebody reading The Emperor of Ice-Cream by Wallace Stevens]

[static]

[heavy metal]

[static]

Reporter Tonight, our breaking story comes from 30,000 feet in the air, where the first lady Independence Day was sucked out of an aeroplane after an unexpected window failure reportedly caused by her smashing the glass with a brick. She was saved by her wife, president Beau Jiden, who is looking great these days, by the way. The president was able to grab her by the ankle and hold on tight until the plane could safely land. When we reached out for comment, the first lady, who was being treated by hospital staff for a dislocated shoulder, just said "whoopsies. My bad". The only other major casualty resulting from the incident was the loss of the first lady's luggage, last seen plummeting out the-

[static]

Asbestos But it doesn't say anywhere in the rule booklet that Chokeholds are prohibited!

Ham It's kind of an unspoken rule. Let go of Stanley!

Asbestos What about body slams?

Ham No!

Asbestos Double knee facebreakers?

Ham No!

Asbestos A tiny little eensy weensy spinning crucifix toss?

Ham Absolutely not! put him down!

Asbestos I'm going to write a strongly worded email to the inventor of Uno.

Ham I'm sure they'll be delighted to hear from you. Hey, do you see that?

Asbestos See what? Me throwing you out of the ship? Yeah, I see it in the not too distant future.

Ham No, falling towards us! It looks like a backpack!

Asbestos Open the hatch and catch it! There could be snacks inside! Ooh, or a bomb!

Ham I got it, I got it.

[thump]

[zipper]

Looks like it's just clothes and stuff. Ooh, and a jar of peanut butter! Does anyone have any allergies?

Asbestos Boring. Toss it back out.

Ham Wait, wait. There's a label. Do you know anyone named Patricia?

Asbestos

(laughing nervously)

I'm sure there are lots of people named Patricia. Give me that?

Ham Do you think the owner would mind if Stanley took this jacket? He thinks it's really cute.

Asbestos Whatever. Listen, I'm bored of Uno. Let's play Monopoly. Last man to lose both his kidneys wins!

Ham Sure, I mean who needs kidneys?

Asbestos That's the spirit!

[static]

[hospital equipment beeps]

Indie All in all, I think that was a resounding success!

Patty I would hate to encounter your interpretation of a devastating failure.

Indie Well, we got here in one piece-

(Patty coughs)

Mostly one piece, we dealt with our little problem with style and panache, and tomorrow I get to spend the whole day relaxing at the astrophysics conference while you're off playing golf with the prime minister of Australia.

Patty What?

Indie Oh, you thought we were here for fun? No. It's an election year, sweetheart. It's time to reaffirm some existing allyships and give the papers something to gossip about before the primary debates on Thursday.

Patty The what?

Indie Why don't you get some sleep before your big day tomorrow. I got the staff to bring in your stuff- your bag should be in the corner somewhere.

Patty If I had just remembered to fuel up before I left, I would be at the Idaho Potato Museum right now, admiring the-

Indie What? What is it? Hey, are you mad at me? Please don't be mad at me.

Patty Indie. We threw out the wrong bag. Your husband is in here, and he's starting to stink.

[beeps speed up and flatline]

Credits

Reporter Mrs president, do you have any response to the allegations that the voice of Independence Day is Jenny Wang, the voice of Patty is Monkozia, the voice of Asbestos Le Guin is Bulk, the voice of Hamuel Burger is Spikes, and the voice of this reporter is Dan Mac?

Patty

(doing The Accent again) Uh, well, that's, uh-

Reporter What about the damning claims that Jenny also voiced an airline announcement and Spikes also voiced a butler? Would you say this is indicative of the podcast's lack of budget or merely a testament to the incredible range of these talented performers?

Patty Um, can I say "no comment?"

Reporter Are you ever going to address the rising concerns of the general public that the editor of this podcast is Sarah, the episode art is by Bulk and the script is by Spikes?

Indie The president isn't taking further questions at this time!

(to Patty)

Come on, run!

[riderofblackdragons]

Day 8 Alt Prompt: Hostage Situation

Ok so once again, I'm sorry that this is a day late, I could not think of anything to do with the og day 8 prompt. Still, I had a decent time with this, its a little au where Esther captured Klaus and tortured him instead of Elijah, just exploring that a little.

Also yes, that is a mental time loop that Klaus is stuck in, if it gets a bit confusing at the end.

Klaus watched his brother turn to face him, and suddenly he was facing him as a child. He tried to cup the boy's face, the young face staring back at him like Klaus was still his beloved little brother, barely able to get up to more mischief than occasionally painting things he shouldn't. His hand slipped through his brother like he was air, like Elijah wasn't there at all. Their surroundings were white, he noted absently, the rest of his mind panicking. This was his big brother, small and young now, and he couldn't do anything.

And then the boy aged, and Klaus could do nothing but watch as Elijah aged, his face flickering through expressions seconds apart, his arms moving as they must've done during life, the baby fat smoothing down as he grew into the adult Klaus knew him as. There were many, but Klaus couldn't help but notice how cold Elijah's expression grew, cold as he didn't think it had been when they actually growing up together.

He wasn't sure how time worked here, but it felt like an eternity, watching Elijah grow and change and start to turn his body from Klaus. At some points, he'd turn his head back to Klaus, as if to invite him to come with, but it rarely lasted for long before the back faced him once more.

Elijah's hair flowed down, and up again, as the fashions changed, and his own tastes switched through the centuries. He looked like Klaus was used to seeing, at least, even if he knew it was because of the vampirism. The moment Elijah had dropped, blood appearing on his body, Klaus had jolted forward, even though he knew he couldn't get there. The vampirism had kicked in with the next expression, although the moments between had felt like another thousand years to Klaus.

But Elijah kept moving, almost too fast for Klaus' eyes to keep up with, even as he watched his brother closely. He got up from his first death, and Klaus was only able to watch as Elijah hid his own confusion, going from scared to controlled.

Klaus couldn't remember Elijah ever being scared, not for himself, not even when the evidence in front of him suggested that he had been, at least at one point. A part of him relished it, the evidence in front of him that Elijah had, even just at the start, been frightened of what he was. Of what they'd become, thanks to their parents.

The centuries flashed by, only shown with the changing of Elijah's clothes and hair. Klaus could still remember when the fashion required wigs, and Elijah had merely compelled the nobles they'd surrounded themselves with to think he was wearing one. If there was one thing Elijah was proud of, it was his hair, or maybe it was just that he was arrogant enough to not cut it when he didn't have to.

Klaus' attention was caught again when Elijah started crouching more, as though he was helping someone smaller than him. Marcellus, he realised, looking at the suit his brother was wearing. In the early days of their acquaintance, before Klaus had gotten bored with sharing, and brought Kol out to play with. He never did find out why Elijah had backed off, but the care on his face said that it had to have been a difficult decision.

Of course, Klaus knew he wouldn't get the information even with this added context. Elijah wasn't the kind to share things unintentionally, and if he'd kept quiet all these centuries, Klaus wouldn't get it out of him now. And if Marcellus knew, which Klaus personally doubted, he would've told his benefactor.

The time moved on, the fashions barely changing. Elijah decided to stick with suits, the same style for all of them, the colours switching and the rest remaining the same. Grey crawled up his skin, and down, and back up, Klaus realising it was the dagger affecting his brother. Down again, another colour change, and then… there it was. When Klaus himself had daggered Elijah, for daring to try and kill him.

It seemed over and done with quickly, the grey crawling back down Elijah's face. And then there it was, another shocked look, as Klaus had daggered him again. Given him to Marcellus, a bargaining chip he should never have played.

But it meant that this would be coming to an end, soon. Hopefully. Klaus didn't remember how he'd ended up here, but he had the feeling it had something to do with his mother, and her miraculous return to the living. And that would be soon, so he'd get to stop then. If she let him. There wasn't much she could after that, except let him out.

Klaus watched his brother carefully, and saw his return to the living. Another few colour changes, and then the apparition stopped changing. This must've been what he'd looked like, when Klaus had been placed into this. It would be over, then.

The image of his brother reached forward, and stroked his cheek. Unconsciously, Klaus leaned into the touch. It may have been a fake, a creation of his mother placed into his mind, but he'd never been in the habit of rejecting affection from Elijah, and Klaus wasn't sure he ever would.

The false Elijah smiled a little, the crooked thing his real brother showed so rarely, and stroked his thumb over Klaus' cheekbone. It may have looked like his older brother, but Klaus could hear his mother's voice when it opened its mouth, and asked if he'd learned his lesson. If he would go against Elijah, and hand over his daughter to her to die.

His rejection angered her, and he didn't know what happened, but he was there, standing in front of a child version of his brother. He didn't know how he'd gotten there, and he wasn't really sure how many of his memories were even real.

Klaus watched his brother turn to face him, and suddenly he was facing him as a child. He tried to cup the boy's face, the young face staring back at him like Klaus was still his beloved little brother, even as his hand slipped through him like he was air, like Elijah wasn't there at all. Their surroundings were white, he noted absently, the rest of his mind panicking. This was his big brother, small and young now, and he couldn't do anything.

Outside his mind, Esther smiled in satisfaction at her hybrid child. It was less magic than she'd thought, to trap him in his mind, to make him watch his brother throughout the years. His most treasured person, she'd directed. She hadn't expected the image of her second son, but she supposed it didn't really matter.

As long as Niklaus joined her in the end, and helped her put an end to her sister, it would all be worth it. Esther ignored the twinge in her heart at the pain she was causing her children. It had to be worth it, and they would all understand, once Dahlia was dead. They had to.

[im-not-a-l0ser]

Hi, today sucked, lemme tell you all the reasons it sucked in chronological order

I woke up at 1 am and read for a while. I did not get back to bed until 5 am.

I woke up approximately 15 minutes before I had to be out the door, so despite my planning to take a shower and wear a Victorian esc clothing today (for throwback Thursday, dumb school thing) I couldn't.

I didn't eat last night, so for the first time this semester I got breakfast from the cafeteria and it was not good.

We were practicing hand and arm massages in class for state board and wow, I fucking hated the smell, feeling and all around company of the lotion we were using.

I didn't charge my phone last night so I had my phone (and laptop) plugged in for my last two periods of school.

It was warm enough that I didn't need my jacket (a comfort item) so I took it off and put it over my backpack. It fell on the dirty bus floor while I was napping through the half hour bus ride.

My laptop wasn't plugged in properly so it was nearly dead when I got home.

Dad said we were going to the library to file my taxes. Okay, gotcha, I won't change into my home clothes, I'll just switch my binder out for a bra.

My sheets were dirty and I didn't want to lay in my gross bed with clean clothes on so I stripped my mattress and brought the sheets downstairs, where I find the washing machine on a self cleaning cycle. It was at 0, but I guess that's not done?

I notice that my little siblings who had lice for a couple days have put clothes in the laundry basket downstairs, which has my prom dress in it. Prom is on Saturday and I am literally too afraid to dig through their shit to find the dress.

I return to my room and work on chapter two of a story, but it's getting late and my dad hasn't called me out to the van yet.

I only learn my dad is home when he sends a picture of dinner to the gc. I leave my room to ask when we're doing taxes; he tells me he's eating and that I should eat too.

Twenty minutes later (like 7:50 pm at this point), we finally start my fucking taxes.

Very long annoying process, to learn that state taxes should not be filed through this site for me. It worked just fine for my sibling. I ask dad if we can do it tomorrow and he says taxes are due in four days. Whatever.

We go to a different site to file my state taxes where I try to register twice and it denies me both times for my laptop having a VPN. I do not control that; it's my school laptop and it didn't even process that's what the issue was for like 10 minutes.

Dad tells me to go to bed. He's tired. That's when I'm allowed to go to bed, when he's tired.

I return to my room and realise my sheets have never been put in the wash, and I can't sleep without a blanket. And for obvious reasons, I only trust that one blanket right now.

I shove it in the wash for a half hour load, but it doesn't fucking matter because my sister's shit is in the dryer at 45 minutes. She doesn't have an empty basket in the bathroom to put the dry stuff into should it finish and someone else needs to. Her shit is going on the floor in about 20 minutes.

I'm laying on my bed, very cold, just waiting for the fucking wash to be done so I can go to sleep. Except, I know it won't be because my sheets take like two hours to dry at high heat, which also means I won't have my comfort jacket for tomorrow.

I just want to go to sleep and can't because I'm stressing over the idea of going to school in not my comfort jacket.

Honorable mentions: My cosmetology textbook has really misleading information regarding synthetic wigs and its pissing me off. I was supposed to go to Walmart today so I could get breakfast for tomorrow. We had a test in English that gave me a lot of anxiety.

[ujunxverse]

hello, my name is r! I understand that you're done with enhypen now, but i really hope you could give me a chance; there's nothing else i could ask for.

two years ago, i began actively using tumblr—which I've had from earlier but didn't really use—a fee months after getting into enhypen around late 2021, the dimension dilemma era. it was love at first sight for me when i saw riki in that wig; you know the one, the really cute ombre blonde wig. the first member to catch my eye was sunghoon, but once i saw dimension : dilemma Charybdis riki, it was all over for me.

as for enhypen/kpop (but i really only pay attention to enha, occasionally i spare attention for txt, skz, nct) tumblr, you, or rather your fic "a distant journey" was my first ever love. i recall reading it about the first few days i was on here, and i was completely new to kpop and/or real person fanficfion. a distant journey shattered my heart into pieces, and built me back up into life again. i cried to it and reread it at least twice. I've never once forgotten it, i even made a playlist in my phone's music player with the few songs i had just for it and named after it too.

back then I wasn't familiar with how tumblr worked, so i quickly lost the fic when you deactivated orpheyeux. I didn't remember your url. but afterwards, i read welcome and you were orochxi, i believe. I HAD NO IDEA YOU WERE THE SAME PERSON. i did leave a really long reblog if you remember! i was devastated (in the best way possible;your writing is pure magic) and i recall you saying it's not your position to say what of heeseung's fate after the ending. i saw my comments again and i cringed—so fucking embarassing and annoying, now that i look back on it. but I don't regret that i showed you how i felt about your writing, i just hope i didn't leave a negative impression. i apologize again. it was so fucking cringe, i wish i worded my overwhelming emotions better.

anyhow, i should've realised that the two most profound stories ive ever read within the first half year of my being on enhypen tumblr were written by you. they were both very impactful and left a dent in my life when everything else i read didn't even come close to leaving a touch, a stain, a scratch, a mark. nothing. i could barely even remember now what i read back then save for a few fics, two of which were yours.

i thought you were inactive, based on your oiwa blog. ive only just found you active and well now. i was sad to see that you've discontinued writing for enhypen, but i completely understand and respect your decision. it simply doesn't bring you joy anymore, and letting it go was for the best. im sorry that it happened to you, the fandom expansion that let in shitty people and changing the knitted community you were familiar and were happy with. but i can say that i am glad you are still writing, and writing so much at that too! i truly wish you well and happiness. you're awfully creative, and i admire that so much. i look up to you and your penmanship abilities.

i am sorry for taking so long, here's where i get to my point. i saw your orpheyeux archive and saw that you had several fics, a sunghoon one i believe about 47k too! all of which were gone, and my curiousity peaked. is there ever a chance you will archive or reupload elsewhere all your previously published works? i felt so overwhelmed at finding you again and upset myself over finding out that only a few of your works were still available to read. i know you've left it all behind and that the possibility of your return is still undetermined, but i wanted to have hope. that's all i want to know.

thank you so, so much for taking time to read my very long ask. even if you choose not to reply and delete it, i accept it. i genuinely wish you so much love and admiration, your writing prowess deserves the recognition.

🪽

hey! i'm sorry i got around this ask very late. nice to meet you, r!

first off, i just wanted to thank you for taking the time to read my works! i'm glad that they had such a profound effect on you and that you continue to remember them for quite a long time. a distant journey was just a tribute piece to the 3.11 earthquakes because i've built a tradition to write one every year when i was still active. i wrote one for yuta in 2021, and i wrote one for riki in 2022.

ah, that's a first! usually people can tell it's me with the format or writing style, but it's a relief to know that i can manage to hide my identity very well. and don't worry! you didn't leave a bad impression at all! it was a nice thing to have a charged response to my work, given the nature of the themes i tackle. don't be embarrassed at all, really, and i'm honestly glad i was able to see an honest reaction to my work.

thank you so much for the compliment, it's really the highest form that i can receive. i don't necessarily mean to leave such an impact through the works i write, but i'm glad you think of them that way, and i'm also happy that the two works i've written are important to you. i was the same as well, where a lot of what i read don't really impact me in such a way or are remotely memorable. i think the few that i can think of off the top of my head is the really popular beomjun fic on ao3 and a few works from my vkook days and some really good satosugu aus i found on the site as well. the problem that a lot of fanfics often go through is oversaturation, and as someone with more of a literary (fiction and non-fiction) background, it's really difficult for me to get into works unless they read like novels, which tends to be a problem for a lot of oneshots i come across.

unfortunately, i think even oiwxa will be shut down for good after i migrate umazane misli onto ao3, where i'll primarily be writing from here on out. i just don't like the audience on tumblr in general, seeing as it's not necessarily a site made for longer-form works or chaptered fics. tumblr was always more geared towards headcanons, art, and drabbles even in its hay day, and if i want to rekindle my writing or find the write audience while acknowledging the problems i have with this site (plagiarism, prominence of y/n or reader insert fics, preference for college!aus or more romantic/sexual works), i think it's been long overdue for me to move to ao3 for good. i find that it's less of a fandom issue now (though i do agree the people on here are just horny), but more of a demographic issue. the stuff i write was never catered towards the audience here, and as a result, my constant disappointment didn't lie with the fandom, but how the site worked in general. and with the influx of people from twitter migrating and only liking works without reblogging or adding any comments, i think it's time for me to leave, though i did have fun here while it lasted.

once again, thank you so much for your kind words! i will reupload some of my works as i think i've written too much to let any of it go to waste, but i won't be uploading them here. they'll be on ao3, under a new fandom (either txt or zb1) and will be formatted to remove the reader. i think my biggest qualm was how restrictive reader inserts were in my creative process, and it would be nice to have some leeway and freedom with that. i know those who read on tumblr aren't the biggest fan of ships, but if you want to read my works, you're free to visit my ao3 and start there. the sunghoon fic, miracle aligner (which was originally written for doyoung) will also be on there, but it's yeonbin.

much, much love to you as well, and once again, thank you for taking the time to send me a message. i appreciate every single word.

best,

vivian

[appreciatingtokrev]

hello, i am happy that you're back and feeling better! ^^

er, i am a bit disappointed but since time had passed, i have realised it was the right move. that is sad but if both parties naturally drift apart, there is always a chance for it to rekindle later on even if it is years on in the future. but moving on does tend to be the less messer route despite it being hard.

i did that too for HSR, all players are probably guilty of that lol. i believe most fans prefer GI over HSR and there is a lot more GI contents on here. i've never played HI so i don't know the fight mechanics 😭

that sound like such a long system ;-; on my end, you could complete a five year degree (like medicine) and be finish before 24/25 or do a three years degree and a master on top before 23/24. at least you still have time to figure things out.

that is true and a part of koko probably died after the fire incident, he probably just needed mikey's approval to join though.

tbh, i just realised his colour palette (outfit/appearance) is really nice too and does contrast xiao's one. maybe, browse online for inspiration? or go to the hair salon and ask the staff? i did that for dying my hair, they said i need to bleach it 4 times where i went lmao.

but i've heard the anime/manga merchandise is pretty cheap in Japan? that is a nice start to your collection and i'm sure the tokrev dolls will be a nice finishing touch when you feel motivated enough. but don't force yourself. i think if she was a kpop fan, i would found it less shocking because they are something else lol. that is a sensible idea and others may mistake it for a bell's bike? if it jingles that loudly and you're walking behind them. i hope you are ready then, styling wigs does seem to be a craft of art in making.

have you found your birthday twin yet? or am i still the closest one? and i actually gave up on makima. the fanart is something else but you can't help but feel intrigued like you said. i dislike her for the same reason. that's great! have you tried taking it to a tailor and get the sleeves shortened? i did it for a blazer and it worked.

ah i’m glad, me too! :) <3

i very much understand. it hurts, but sometimes the right thing to do just isn’t what initially makes you the happiest,, and it’s still for the best.

hm, true. maybe one day lol. rn we see each other maybe twice a year, and go visit a museum together. it’s nice, but certainly not how i pictured my life a few years ago haha. tho i’m content with our relationship the way it is, i think.

understandable understandable lol. i think my pref for genshin does stem from me having played it for longest by far + it being the game that got me into gaming, which both ends in an obvious bias. but hsr has been v fun so far as well! honkai impact fight mechanics are more similar to genshin than to hsr, but the controls for the whole game don’t involve the mouse, only the a, s, d, w, i, j, k, and l keys (if i remember the keys correctly- the point is you only need a keyboard to play) lol. makes it easier to play it in class.....

okay tbh i did repeat/got pushed back more than once 😭 most people here probably are finished with a five years degree at 24/25 too, but a bunch each year will be one/two years older bc they had to repeat. and i’m gonna be one of those lol. but yeah, i’m glad i’ve still got time to decide on what to study bc there’s too many things i’d like to do... omg i used to have a classmate who’s a kpop fan, and she pretty much made her locker at school into a kpop shrine plastered with photos and filled with merch lol. she also was the one to introduce me to kpop funnily enough.

true. i’ll figure out how to make it make no sound before wearing it in public, then i’ll be fine. bc i do think the earring looks funky even when silent hehe.

i have a (bad?) habit of thinking i can do anything i want to, so... wig styling can’t be that hard, now can it..... and there’s a first time to everything anyway.

no birthday twin for me, you’re still the closest. if i ever do find one, i’ll make sure to tell you dw lol.

no, i haven’t been to a tailor yet, but i might try that once! i just hope it wouldn’t be too expensive afhjfdj

[scientific-tricorder]

[Transcript:

"I had read a little bit about Jolene [Blalock] playing T'Pol, and how feline she feels T'Pol is," says Zediker on the physicality of playing T'Pau. "I used to be a dancer, and I thought that's something I could relate to, that sort of feline [movement and attitude]. I have a cat, and just watching how she processes information [helped]. It sounds silly to use an animal [as a model], but that word 'feline' that Jolene uses was a nice jumping off point for me."

"What's funny," Zediker explains, "is when I called in to meet the producers for this, T'Pau was who I was modelling after, but I didn't realise that she was the actual character I would be playing. She's the one I remember the most from ST:TOS, and after I was hired I thought, 'Thank God my instincts were right on.' Because she's exactly who I was thinking of. The producers had described her in the script that we used to audition as 'ruthlessly logical' and 'deeply distrustful of humans.' I thought, 'Okay, I get that.'

The prospect of "originating" such a beloved, venerable character for the Star Trek: Enterprise episodes Awakening and Kir'Shara gave Zediker pause, however. "Playing T'Pau was a daunting privilege," Zedike admits. But I thought it was a really interesting place to first be introduced to her, before she has the benefit of the teachings of the Kir'Shara [the sacred relic containing Surak's original writings]. We see Vulcans 100 years before we see Spock in ST:TOS. There's a reason they've had to become the masters of their emotions, their anger and lust for power. I don't think that T'Pau would have become the benevolent creature we see in ST:TOS had she not had the experience of Surak refusing to allow his katra to be transferred to her. I think that was a big wake-up call for her. She still has some learning to do. She learns that not every human is to be completely mistrusted; through Archer and T'Pol, she learns to have some respect for other people's opinions."

There is another, immediately noticeable, difference between Zediker's take on T'Pau and Celia Lovsky's - the absence of the latter's distinctive Viennese accent. But Zediker was aware of that, and came prepared. "Believe me, I had that in my back pocket in case they wanted it," she reveals with enthusiasm. "I was really fortunate in my preparation, because one my coaches [sic] is a huge Trekker. He knows it all, and was a great resource for me. And when we worked on the scenes before we started filming, I did several passes with that accent, just in case."

Dirtiness aside, Zediker found the atmosphere and energy on the set enormously positive. "Jolene is such a great person, very supportive. It's so nice see that this little person - I'm kind of tiny - was able to command respect right away. This was such an honour, and such a great role to be stepping into. I had such a good time, especially with Jolene and Scott Bakula. They're just hilarious people. They take the work very seriously, but there's room for inside jokes at all times."

"When I first put [the hair] on I thought, 'Am I Jane Fonda in Klute?' because it was more like a shag haircut. It certainly reads as a mullet when they put it behind my ears so you can see them. It was fortunate, actually, that I ended up having that shag wig, because my left ear sticks out more than the right one. So when I didn't have my wig on, I looked like some kind of bizarre, weird, fairy elf!

"For a Vulcan, I thought they did a great job; they made me look like a sort of hot elf. [My publicist] called me 'an elegant elf.'

"I got recognised on the street the other day, walking around with no make-up on, looking like me. And I told the guy, 'You're good.' People on the set sometimes didn't recognise me without my make-up on."

With Star Trek: Enterprise sadly cancelled, there seems little chance, for now, of a return appearance, even though Paramount's wardrobe have saved Zediker's robe, just in case.

Obviously recalling that her character is destined to officiate at the wedding of Spock and T'Pring some 12 decades hence, Zediker declares "At least I know I'm not going to be dead!"

And with her authoritative-yet-laughing cry of "Kroykah!" our conversation ends.

/end transcript]

[lab-trash]

Lab Rats Ask Game

by @texanmarcusdavenport

⛵️ Favorite ship? Least favorite ship? (Doesn't have to be romantic.)   - Favourite ship is obviously Kase. Least favourite (aside from incest) is probably Chase x Oliver or Chaziver

👀 Characters whose relationship you wish was more explored?   - Probably Kaz and Chase again. Like, we only get about 17 episodes of them, and I really love them. But probably also Kaz and Leo, and Kaz and Bree. I’d also love to see more of Jordan and Skylar. 

💥 Favorite crack ship / characters that never met in canon but would've been best friends if they had?   - Marcus and Oliver is definitely up there, but there are some others.   - Jordan and Chase would probably be interesting as hell, as well as Jordan and Bree or Leo. Jordan is just an interesting character, so she’s interesting to see.   - I think Marcus and Owen would also be interesting, I’m not sure why though.    - I want to meet Billy Fowler. I know that’s like the opposite of this question but I didn’t know where else to stuff this in; I want to meet Billy Fowler or at least know about him.  

🐀 Favorite season of Lab Rats? Least favorite?   - I quite like season two, and I like season three quite a bit too.    - I have mixed feelings about seasons one and four, but I think I have to say four, just because it’s kinda all over the place.

🏥 Lab Rats or Mighty Med?   - Mighty Med, all the way; I love Mighty Med

🏳️‍🌈 Favorite LGBT+/neurodivergent headcanon?   - I think it’d have to be Oliver being greyace and demi-romantic, probably because it’s more complex and character analysis-y.     - I also like trans Marcus; xtm. 

📖 An AU/fanfic idea you'd love to see but don't have the motivation to write?   - Essentially a Chase fanboy tumblr Kaz   - Most Owam fics that I want to write   - FWB Kase, which I am working on, but it’s slow   - A full Marliver villian-to-redemption arc. 

💭 Favorite headcanon overall?   - Chase and Kaz started dating back in like episode two of LREF

🔥 Hot take/unpopular opinion?   - I don’t like Adam. Like, I think he has potential, but I... he makes me feel icky.   - I don’t like Mr Davenport. I don’t think he even has potential, but he’s neutral evil at best and I can’t do much with that.

❤️ Favorite character? Least favorite character?   - My favourite character is Kaz. What a surprise that is.    - Owen or Chase for lab rats though.   - Least favourite character is probably Eddie. 

⏱️ When did you start watching Lab Rats?   - Oh, lord, I can’t even remember. I think I saw it in passing when it first came out, but my hyperfixation started like... over a year ago, and before that I had a different one like a couple years before this one.    - That probably made very little sense. 

🟢 Any crossover ideas? Are there any shows you think would've made a better crossover than Lab Rats/Mighty Med?   - Crossover ideas, obviously Villains of Valley View, and then Kickin It   - No, I really like the idea of Lab Rats and Mighty Med crossover. 

🎼 What songs do you relate to the characters/ show?   - Parents by Yungblood with Kaz   - Art is Dead by Bo Burnham with Kaz   - W.I.T.C.H by Devan Cole with Skylar   - Villains Aren’t Born (They’re Made) by PEGGY with Oliver (villain arc)   - Am I supposed to Apologise by Maria Mena with Marcus   - That’s all I can think of right now...

🟠 Which character is the most like you? Which character is the least like you?   - I’m like a mix of Jordan and Oliver, which I kind of hate saying because whenever I think of Oliver, I think of LREF Oliver, but for the record, I am talking about MM Oliver.    - I mean, like, I’m aggressive, I’m a nerd, I’m a mild germaphobe and hypocrondriac, I have a petrifying fear of needles, I have family issues. Seriously, I’m just them put together.

[fireofjudgement]

Pretty in pink

Requested here

Fandom: All of us are dead

Pairing: Gwi-nam x gn!reader

Summary: You've never realised just how jealous Gwi-nam was, nor what the result of his jealousy would be.

Word count: 696

Warnings: established relationship, kissing, mentions of jealousy, slight angst but mostly fluff, ooc Gwi-nam

A/N: Good lord, this isn't my best work or my longest one but this past month has been quite bad and I didn't have the time, energy nor the motivation to write at all, but I also made this blog with the goal of posting at least one thing every month and I didn't want to break my streak so early on. I'm doing a little better now so I'll be writing more of the requests soon, hopefully 😌

--

"Gwi-nam, stay still! I swear to God.."

"But it buuurns, how am I supposed to stay still? You're doing this on purpose, y/n!" 

"It will burn even more if you won't stop moving, you silly! Are you trying to get it in your eyes?" You pretended to be annoyed with his impatience and childish behavior, but in reality you had to try really hard to contain laughter and focus on what you were doing. You didn't actually want to hurt him, obviously. 

It was still hard for you to believe he agreed to do this. You and Gwi-nam have been together for almost a year now and you could, with all confidence, say that you knew him better than he knew himself. And yet, never in a million years would you imagine he'd let you dye his hair. Pink. Pastel pink to be more specific. But, as unbelievable as that fact itself was, the reason why he asked you to do it in the first place was even more absurd. 

It was no secret that Gwi-nam was the jealous type, possessive even. You were his and he was yours, you knew it and he made sure everyone around you knew it too. You didn't know however that his jealousy went far beyond the people you surrounded yourself with, or so happened to meet in your day-to-day life. Oh no. But it wasn't till a few weeks earlier that you learned your boyfriend doesn't like for you to look at any other man. Not even celebrities you've never met before and most likely never will.

One of those celebrities, a young actor from a very popular Netflix show, posted a few pictures of himself with his new haircut and without thinking much about it, you made a comment about it to Gwi-nam. 

"You know, he kinda reminds me of you a little. Just with a way cuter hair color."

You didn't think he'd react so emotionally, an innocent remark apparently hurting him more than either of you expected. It took a few days of radio silence, countless unanswered texts and missed phone calls for him to finally talk to you again. And when he did, it wasn't what you expected. He wasn't mad. He didn't want to break up with you. Instead, he asked for you to.. dye his hair. It would be nice to try something new, he said. And you didn't ask any questions. You were just happy to have him back.

"Okay, I'm done! Now you have to wait about forty minutes, then we can wash it off."

"Wait, forty minutes? That doesn't sound right. What if it burns my beautiful hair?" He asked, pretending to be genuinely concerned. 

"Well.." You hesitated, pulling him closer to you. "..I guess I'll still love you. We'll just get you a pink wig." You couldn't contain laughter any longer when he tackled you, leaving a bunch of kisses on your face and neck. It was adorable how careful he was to not get the dye on you or any of your furniture. 

You spent the next hour cuddling, trying to pay attention to the movie quietly playing in the background, completely forgetting about the timer. It was nice to have Gwi-nam by your side again, it was even nicer to feel his lips on yours, your bodies complimenting each other perfectly. It wasn't until you tried to brush your fingers through his hair that you realised you still haven't washed off the dye, dark pink stains forming on his forehead and neck. You could only hope his hair has survived this unexpected attack.

"And?" Gwi-nam asked, nervously shifting his gaze from the mirror to your face. He was trying to keep his cool but you knew how much your approval meant to him. "Don't be like that, just tell me what you think?" 

"I think..Well, pink is definitely your color." You answered honestly, before giving him another kiss. You could feel him smiling against your lips, your next words only causing his smile to grow bigger. "You'll always be the most attractive guy I know, Gwi-nam. And I wouldn't want anyone else by my side."

[mountswhore]

Could you write about ben missing your child's birthday and mason (who is like a second dad) having to step up, then maybe your kid starting to believe mason is his dad.

𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 — ben chilwell (slightly mason mount)

summary: ben had been incredibly distant since you had Theo, and Mason had step up to the role, only confusing your son.

notes: reqs are open

You and Ben had been completely smitten for the past three years, still in the honeymoon phase of your relationship. Everyone would often wonder when Ben would stop talking about you, when he’d stop bringing you into every conversation. He’d often talk about you to Mason, during training, on the bench, in the dressing rooms, it was torture, but he was happy his friend was in love.

Mason finally met you when Ben threw a surprise party for your birthday, and the two of you got along better than anyone could’ve imagined. You were both massive Marvel nerds, you both played the same games, and you were pretty much Mason with a wig on. Which was scary to think about for Ben. The three of you spent so much time together; Mason often coming over for movie nights, or to take turns playing games, and Ben would sometimes come home to you in a PlayStation party, not needing to ask who it was as he knew it was Mason.

When you finally announced your pregnancy, everyone was over the moon, and Ben was too impatient to wait for his little one. His baby that was half him and half you, the baby to prove his love for you. He’d treated you like a queen throughout, making sure to make dinner when he could, doing housework, fetching whatever you needed from the shop. And Mason, who was overly excited to be an Uncle to another kid, was always over to help, keeping you company if you were waiting on Ben.

He was the one to actually drive you to the hospital when your water broke, Ben having been in Milton Keynes as he was visiting his mum. Ben was adamant on Mason staying at yours, because you were due to pop any day now, and you were glad he did. The nurses had taken you to a bed, whilst Mason called Ben to tell him the news. His baby was finally coming.

Ben had arrived hours later, exhausted from driving as well as the little amount of sleep he’d had, but holding his son in his arms was all worth it. His little Theo, Mason dramatically deflated in the chair beside your bed, hoping the newborn would have a rendition of his name, if not the same. Everyone got their chance to hold him, greet him, get him familiar with their faces and voices. It was a moment you didn’t want to ever finish.

But once Theo was born, Ben slid away a bit. Instead of volunteering to do the night feed, or hush him to sleep, he just rolled over with a pillow on his head. And wondered why Theo preferred his mummy. Mason had offered to help whenever Ben either couldn’t or didn’t want to, and you always accepted, because you couldn’t do it on your own. It didn’t take long for you to get sick of Ben not giving his son the time of day, and so you confronted him. And he’d eventually realised you were right, he knew he needed to put more effort in with his sun instead of focusing so much on football. You’d make the excuse of him not being used to having a baby, and football was all he knew, so you gave him the benefit of the doubt.

You were quickly approaching Theo’s fourth birthday, and Ben seemed far more interested in his work than his own son. As you brought up going to buy the balloons tomorrow, he quickly cut you off to tell you about the interviews he'd be doing tomorrow. You never expected him to put work before you, because you knew how important his career was to him. But even Mason had cancelled on work for Theo, and that wasn't even his son.

With Ben deciding not to listen, and you had to get the entire party sorted in three days, Mason was your only option. You'd called him on the way back from the school run, after giving Theo your love for the day.

"Mase, I'm so sorry to be a bother, but I need your help." You admitted, sat in the ASDA car park with an already forming headache. You knew today was the start of his week off, and he'd booked this weekend off for the party. Luckily, there were no matches, just training and promotional videos and interviews, in which Ben had decided was unmissable.

"Anything, what's up?"

"Ben is no help, he's too fussed about work, so I need a hand with sorting Theo's party out." You spoke, checking the time before leaving your car, "I'm in ASDA right now, I'm gonna buy all the decorations and then go and get a cake sorted. Could you meet me at my house soon?"

As promised, Mason was at yours within two hours, catching you as you parked in your driveway and started lifting things in. He helped you hide it all, and put the cake receipt and order number on the fridge.

"So, is he booking this weekend off for Theo's party?" Mason asked, sitting beside you on the couch and huffing in exhaustion. You shrugged, this entire situation making you want to cry. You just wanted Ben to be more involved in his family, it shouldn't have to be his best friend stepping in.

"Only God knows, Mase. I doubt it, though. He seems pretty adamant that these Chelsea videos are important." You replied, the pair of you laughing afterwards, but you were serious. Since Theo was born, all he's done is put football first, and left his mate to take on fatherly duties.

Theo's birthday and party was tomorrow, and you were thankful it fell on a weekend, so he could celebrate his actual birthday with a party. The pair of you were in the kitchen, Theo was doing a colouring book at the island, when the doorbell sounded.

"I wonder who that could be." You said to Theo, who excitedly followed you. You opened the door, Mason stood with a handful of presents and an eager smile on his face. Theo was jumping with glee and waiting to pounce onto Mason, the pair of them had an unbreakable bond. And you didn't expect any less, seeing as Mason has been such a help with him growing up.

"Are you excited?" Mason asked, the presents now on the island and Theo on his hip, but Theo's eyes were glued to the Toy Story wrapping paper.

"They are my presents?" Theo wondered, giving you a look before looking up at Mason, who giggled and nodded at the three year old.

"Yeah, all from Uncle Mase."

Theo had gone back to colouring, and you were talking to Mason whilst continuing to cook dinner.

"Do you want to stay for dinner? Ben won't be back until tomorrow. Or at least I hope it's tomorrow and not next week." You mumbled, stirring the mince into the Bolognese sauce. Mason was sat beside Theo, colouring alongside with him, and your heart lifted at the sight. You just wished it were Ben.

"Sounds good, and I'm sure he'll be here. I hope he'll be here, it's not fair on this one otherwise." Mason mentioned, putting the crayon down and scruffing his hair. You hummed, turning your attention back to your dinner and hoping to forget about Ben for now. All that came from thinking about him was pain.

Will you be back for Theo's party tomorrow? You texted Ben, before plating dinner up for you, Theo, and Mason. You almost lost your appetite worrying about it, just picturing Theo's heartbroken face as he wonders where his daddy is.

Yeah, don't do the cake until 2pm, Ben texted back. And you could've sworn you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. Mason helped to clean up, and put Theo to bed as you began to set up the house. You put the balloons around the house, you hung up little decorations, you made the house look Avengers-infested. Mason walked downstairs with widened eyes at the sight of the house, and you, putting the dozens of mini cupcakes on a two-tiered dish with a lid.

"Help me with the goodie bags," you whispered, despite Theo being completely sound asleep. Mason shoved one of every toy and mini chocolate into the bag, watching how you put a little sticker over the top to seal it, and copying you.

The pair of you were downstairs for hours, giggling and running around the house to set the house up for your son, finally sat back at the island and out of breath. You made the mistake of looking at Mason, who was already looking at you, and it didn't take long for your lips to be on his. You knew it was wrong, but you missed Ben. Not only as a father, but as a boyfriend. You missed how intimate the two of you used to be, until football became his one and only.

"I'm sorry," you whispered, a slight crack to your voice as you realised the mistake you'd made, "I shouldn't have done that. My heart is still Ben's, he's just a terrible father."

Mason grabbed your hand and held it, the pair of you making eye contact again. "It's okay, it never happened. But I thought you should know that when I was putting Theo to bed earlier, he called me daddy. He said, 'goodnight daddy.' Maybe he thought Ben was home? I'm not sure."

Now Theo was confused. Ben had created such a rift between the three of you, that now you were kissing Mason and Theo was calling him dad. It was completely fucked. Maybe you wanted someone to blame, maybe you didn't want to believe that you kissed Mason and that it felt good.

Mason had come back early morning, and the moment you saw him, last night came rushing back. When you kissed him and you knew you shouldn't have. When he kissed back.

"Where's the birthday boy?" Mason asked, rubbing his hands together as he entered your home, only the kitchen light on. You quietly walked into the kitchen, pulling open the fridge to put some milk into your travel mug to complete your coffee.

"Not awake yet, I need to go and get the cake from the bakery. Are you okay to make him breakfast if he wakes up?" You asked, walking past Mason with slight bump to the shoulder and a heavy sigh.

"Hey," Mason spoke, reaching out for your arm and stopping you in place, "what's up? Talk to me."

"How are you still friends with me? How are you okay with acting like last night never happened? I'm racked with guilt and you're still helping me out as if I didn't cheat on your best friend with you." You explained, pulling at your hair and whimpering in frustration. Mason could tell that wasn't the only issue, you were missing Ben, and so was Theo.

"The kiss meant nothing to you, you miss Ben and I can see that. Anyone can see that," Mason reasoned, his hands on your arms as you looked up at him, "you need help and I'm always going to be your friend, whether you like it or not. Ben has been gone and I'm not letting you do this on your own. I won't have it."

You didn't deserve Mason, as simple as that.

Whilst you were gone to collect the cake, Theo had woken up and met Mason in the kitchen, which could only be confusing the poor boy more. Mason smiled, picking the newly four-year-old up and smothering him with hugs and kisses.

"Hello, birthday boy." Mason cooed, grabbing a bowl from the cupboard, "are you hungry? You can eat anything." Theo pointed to the coco pops, and Mason poured a reasonable amount and sat him at the island.

The two of them were enjoying breakfast together, Mason sipping on the tea he'd made after you left, his mind still processing kissing you last night. He kissed back, and he didn't regret it. You deserved some love, after not having received it in God knows how long as Ben was too focused on work. He enjoyed the kiss, and there was no denying that.

"Are you my daddy?" Theo asked out of the blue, startling Mason into almost spitting his tea out. How does he approach a question like this? Without you, too.

No, but I'm hopelessly in love with your mum. Absolutely not.

"No, Ben is your daddy. I'm your uncle Mase, you know this silly." Mason replied, his heart still hammering against his chest. Theo, thankfully, returned to eating his cereal and leaving Mason to think about things. What would he do from here? Hope that Ben doesn't change his ways so he can swoop in and take his spot? No, that was evil. And unfair on you and Theo.

When you had arrived home, you put the cake into the fridge and all you had to was wait for the kids in Theo's class to arrive. But Theo was begging to open some gifts, and you decided to let him. The three of you were sat in the living room, the gifts all on the floor beside the couch.

"Grab an Uncle Mase present first," Mason whispered as Theo approached the pile, which earned him a nudge. He ended up opening a bunch of presents from Mason, one of which was a football. And he loved them all. He even got his own little tracksuit, which he was adamant on wearing today.

Kids had arrived, running around outside as the adults watched them from the seated area in the garden. You were busy inside with Mason, putting party food out in five minute intervals so everyone had a chance to eat something. Mason watched as you put mini sausage rolls onto a plate, his gaze drifting to your hair as it fell down your back, the smile on your face as you spoke about Theo. It was becoming harder to hide the feelings he'd felt for well over a year now.

It was nearing 4pm and Ben was a no-show, your heart seizing as you grabbed the cake from the fridge in frustration. You weren't going to wait any longer for this asshole to appear, he was already two hours later than promised.

You all sang happy birthday to your son, watching as his little lungs blew out the candles on the cake, before taking it inside to be shared. Mason placed his hand on your back as he watched you cut the cake into little slices. But your mind was more than pre-occupied when you watched Ben walk into the kitchen and look around for his little boy.

"I'm gonna go and grab the birthday boy," Mason excused himself as Ben watched his hand move from your back. Ben waited until Mason was completely outside before confronting you, Theo's gift sat forgotten on the island.

"You and Mason are pretty close, hm?" He asked, his tone dripping with sarcasm. You rolled your eyes, as it hadn't even been a minute before the man had walked through the door, two hours after he should have.

"If you have nothing nice to say, Ben, then just leave again. I'm used to it by now." You retorted, placing another little cake slice into a freezer bag. Ben tutted, and it angered you that he didn't see that he was in the wrong.

"If I have nothing nice to say? Are you hearing yourself? I've just walked into my home to see my best mate's hands on my wife. What the fuck happened whilst I was gone?" Ben argued, keeping a close eye to make sure nobody was heading inside. But they all seemed pretty happy, running around after Theo.

"A lot has happened. Theo called Mason daddy last night, before bed. Mason has been more of a help this week than you have in the last few months. It's not fair on Theo and it's certainly not fair on me, Ben. We have missed you, Theo's missing his daddy, and I'm missing my husband. But football is your be all and end all, so it's better if you just leave altogether."

"And have Mason play dad to Theo? And have Mason play husband to you? Is that what's been going on whilst I've been gone?" Ben asked, and he was red with anger. This man had no reason to be angry, if anything, you should be.

"Family isn't something you can just walk away from and come back to when it suits you, Ben. Theo deserves someone constant in his life. And if that's Mason, so be it. Because he's done far more for him than you have. So I'm not surprised Theo is calling him dad, because you're certainly not acting like one." You spoke, trying to remain calm but you were losing it. As much as you loved Ben, he was making it so difficult to forgive him.

Ben didn't say anything, he just left. Mason had watched the whole thing, he saw Ben slam the front door and he took that as his chance to check on you. You were holding onto the counter with one hand, your other over your eyes as you cried. How had your family been so broken up over Ben?

"Hey," Mason spoke softly, placing his hand onto your shoulder. He thought you'd tell him to fuck off and leave, because Ben so clearly blamed Mason for this. And not himself. You turned to Mason pulling him into a hug, not wanting to let go anytime soon. You had no idea what to do from here, whether or not to chase after Ben and fix this, or leave him and let Mason in.