#i'm just mostly writing by hand
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i tried some harmonies idk how well it worked but i like it
#utaite#youtaite#youtaite works#song cover#yes apparently i sing now#but i still write dw#i'm just mostly writing by hand#but i'm too lazy to type and edit#so i'm just hoarding fics rn
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"I'm so angry that newsies is so squeaky clean and disneyfied" how do i break it to you that it's a pg disney property
#that's like going into an r rated movie and being angry and upset when it has violence sex profanity or all 3#you wanna write fanfiction? go for it. one of the best newsies fics I've read was absolutely horrific#(92sies) jack was a survivor of child trafficking at medda's hands#he had a little sister who was currently being trafficked by medda#and jacks newsie friends were practically nonexistent as he was mostly shown with his crew from the refuge#all of which were some terrible and/or deeply traumatized boys#so I'm not saying darker reimaginings of newsies are bad#I'm just saying you shouldn't be angry that the original isn't dark
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#just a little mental health check in mostly for myself just to write it down#I'm in a weird place#in some regards I've been doing really well lately#I've been more social which always does wonders for my mental health#on the other hand a couple weeks ago I was home alone for a couple days and I was so stir crazy I almost couldn't handle it#I've actually been happy with my body for the last few months and I haven't had any anxiety about food nor have I attempted any restrictions#that's been a big bonus#I'm having a lot of trouble with decisions lately. I'm second guessing everything to a stressing degree#I feel like a bad person for reasons I can't totally pinpoint. like I think I'm manipulating everyone but to what end I can't tell#and there's a part of me that knows this is irrational but I can't shake it#it's so weird being aware that I'm doing so well in many regards#but I'm also able to feel myself slipping into types of paranoia that I know I'm suseptible to#today's been better but for the last few days my heart rate has been noticeably high (which says a lot because it is generally high)#it's caused unease#I don't know if I really have a point to typing any of this out#I'm feeling fine overall. I'm happy with my life right now. I have plenty of things to look forward to in the near and further future#I can just tell something is a little off and I think it might be beneficial to my future self to write this out for sake of timeline#I really need to start tracking my period because it totally might be that. or you know. I have OCD and anxiety is just a part of my life#who knows. it could be a mix or nothing or everything#I don't think anyone's reading this whole thing lol but if anyone does I do want to leave the reassurance that I'm fine and I'll be fine#like I said. just keeping an eye on myself.#oh I thought of another positive thing! I've been way less freaked out about chemicals lately! that's a nice note to end this on!#ashley rambles
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If that gloves thing in TBOB taught me anything, it's that Fiddleford 100% fell first and fell HARD
#Hayley Speaks#I'm still not over that; HE MADE HIM A HOMEMADE GIFT FOR HIS HANDS........AND HE DIDN'T GET HIS /WIFE/ ANYTHING......#Like it does suck for her. But also Emma May I think your husband is a massive fa-#I'm kidding mostly about that#I do genuinely think he loved her#But you know; he got one of them a thoughtful Christmas present and it wasn't her#Also that as a whole makes me lean more towards the events of those 'missing' journal pages being truth#Even if I don't think the pages THEMSELVES are real and are just a fabrication on Bill's end#Bill writing those pages: Get a load of this massive [redacted]
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Idk how you feel about asks anymore but I remember you answering one about the "We Don't Talk About Kenny" Video essay and thought you might be interested in on inspired by it, "Kenny: A Beloved Abuser" By The Early Bird 2
As you can guess, the comments are completely sane and respectful about it-that's a lie, it's about what you would expect from a video daring to say Kenny is at all a bad person (even people going as far as to claim that calling him abusive is disrespectful to real abuse victims)
It's not as detailed as "We Don't Talk About Kenny" but I still think it's worth a watch
I still love getting asks, I just can't get to them as regularly as I used to.
I haven't heard of this video, though, so I gave it a quick watch. Then I glanced at the comments and they're about what I expected. When it comes to Kenny, people are often on the extremes.
Kenny's one of those characters where he's a great, well-written character and interesting to discuss, but I can't stand him. He's an asshole, and by the end of S2, all I want is to get Clementine the hell away from him.
I know he's had a resurgence in popularity in the main tag lately. That's fine, people can like what they like as long as they're not being dicks about it. It's just odd for me since I'm so used to going there and seeing more TFS content than S1.
It's also hard to discuss Kenny with other people because of the extreme opinions and the hostility. It's not productive to try and explain something only for the stan to be like "no shut the fuck up you don't know what you're talking about--" like... at that point, they're not actually here for a discussion, they just want someone to agree with them, y'know?
Sometimes it's not even worth trying to talk about Kenny, so I commend this person for tossing an opinion out there. The comments are pretty brutal, but there's also some support.
#asks#twdg kenny#twdg clementine#listen y'all i can't lie to you...... kenny is so unimportant to me#i know that sounds so mean but if you asked me to write an essay on him i'd just be like#'no i don't like him. i don't care. he means very little to me at this point--go ask someone else. i could not care less'#i watched the video and nodded along like 'mmhmmm yep i can agree to that... eh not the way i'd put that but i get you...'#i'm not as active in twdg anymore i mostly lurk in the shadows and only post/answer asks when i really want to#and kenny isn't a character who makes me want to come back y'know? i'm not here for him. if anything he repels me hahaha#i'm here for clementine and louis and a handful of others... it's mostly tfs that brings me back
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Would it be oh-so wrong of me to take a little break from MG3 to work on an outline for my ghost ship story idea? That might be the little writer devil on my shoulder talking, but idk, he's got good ideas sometimes
#i can feel myself starting to get burnt out but that usually fixes itself when i take a break#so I'm seeing mostly pros and very few cons tbh#if you'd like to lend a hand some asks to help me think of things would be great!#i have no plot yet just a vibe and some vague character ideas#writing#writerscommunity#writblr#my ocs
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still alive but still struggling
#on another new med that's been making me drowsy & brain foggy so#that on top of my already non-existent energy is really taking its toll on my ability to do anything#I hope that no one is too annoyed by my posting lately mostly being headcanons & shitposts & dash games... bc that's all I've got rn sfjgksh#writing will make its return eventually...... but it might be a bit yet ;~;#more and more I'm finding myself tempted to delete the vast majority of my drafts#save for a handful of threads that I really haven't got the heart to drop...#and just start a bit more fresh when I have the energy sfjgksh#I'm sitting somewhere around 60 again which is insane ahfgkddh#idk. I'm thinking about it but as usual I'm back & forth on it.#anyway. love u guys hope ur all doing well 💜 and thank u for the hundredth thousandth time for putting up with me 💜💜💜#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don't @ me.
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man u guys are funni you don't think i remember this? (tw: dr*gs and ov*r*os*)
first time? that's rich, right @miguelswifey04
at least change your wording to make it look more original bro
anyway, please STOP SENDING REPEATED REQUESTS. I AM NOT A ROBOT WHO IS REQUIRED TO MAKE YOUR STORIES. if you want to see it written, write it yourself :> i didn't respond to your request at first because i was uncomfortable with it, there, i said it. i'm sorry, but i cannot and will not fulfil your request. i think i've made it clear in my rules that i will not do disturbing themes, i am not required to, ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY'RE REPEATED REQUESTS.
i'll give you the benefit of the doubt and say you're not the same anon spamming me and asking lin (hopefully not other writers) with this very request, i'm gonna tell you right now i am not comfortable with writing this. i'm sorry if i sound angry, bc i am. please respect us writers the same way as we respect you anons; i didn't respond to your previous req so as not to embarrass you or anything, but i can't keep quiet anymore.
sorry for the long ass rant, tl;dr: i'm not gonna write this, and if you send another req EXACTLY LIKE THIS OR HAS THE SAME THEME AS THIS OR ANYTHING TRIGGERING, YOU WILL GET BLOCKED. g'day.
#like seriously if i didn't respond it's mostly likely i'm not gonna do it#sorry i'm not a robot that can give you all your requests right away#especially triggering ones that can upset a lot of people#and that i don't have proper knowledge about#and i'm sorry i'm sounding so aggressive it's just so irritating seeing people blatantly disrespecting my rules#i know i make some exceptions for some topics#but that's because the scenarios are milder and i know what#it's like in some of those cases#this is a SERIOUS topic.#i can't bring myself to write this#let alone without first hand experience#i've gone through this with a lot of my moots#they all agree i shouldn't write this#and i'm glad i listened#o(一︿一+)o pissed off kairi#(*˘︶˘*).。*♡ kairi talks
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a reminder that chiyo wouldn't be here if not for my hyperfixation on h.aikyuu!! i made her shortly after watching the first season of the anime ( that's all that was out at the time ), making her a manager for our beloved crows before discovering oh!! they have managers :' ) so she then became a sports column writer for the newspaper, and that's how it's stayed even in her general high school verse bc i'm sentimental as heck <3
#oooh we've come a long way since then#she's grown so much and only for the better#there's certain things that have stayed the same -- like her love for puns :' )#in fact i'd argue that chiyo's stayed mostly the same but i've just gotten a lot better at portraying her and understanding her#like yeah she's my oc but sometimes you have a good concept but don't execute it well bc you aren't ready#now i know her like the back of my hand and i genuinely cannot see myself ever letting her muse go quiet again#chiyo? on hiatus? not on my watch buddy!!#okay i gotta stop getting distracted asdfg i'm just traipsing down memory lane but i got writing to dooooo#get ready to ramble | ooc
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Updated of my Clone High ship list:
Actual Ships:
Abe/Harriet
Abe/Topher
Cleo/Frida
Confucius/Joan
Harriet/Joan
JFK/Joan
Jackée/Lizzie
Scudworth/Mr. Buttlertorn (wasn't going to include non-clones but it needs to be said: they're basically canon in season 1. I don't know why season 2 and 3 have been trying to gaslight the audience into thinking they're straight)
I just think they're neat:
Abe/Confucius
Abe/JFK
Cleo/Confucius
Confucius/Gandhi
Confucius/Harriet
Confucius/JFK
Gandhi/JFK
Gandhi/Joan
Gandhi/Van Gogh
Harriet/JFK
JFK/Topher
JFK/Ponce
JFK/Vlad
Joan/Topher
Joan/Jesús
Joan/Vlad (trans FTM Joan though)
Topher/Van Gogh
Julius/Van Gogh
Van Gogh/Vlad
Abe/Confucius/Harriet/JFK/Joan/Topher
Abe/Confucius/Harriet/JFK/Joan
Abe/Confucius/JFK/Joan
Abe/Confucius/JFK/Topher
Abe/Cleo/JFK (like in AUs)
Abe/JFK/Joan
Abe/JFK/Topher
Abe/Joan/Topher
Confucius/Gandhi/JFK
Joan/Jackée/Lizzie
Exs (aren't meant to be but were):
Abe/Cleo
Abe/Joan
Cleo/JFK
Cleo/Anne Boleyn
Cleo/Elvis Twin (one of them)
Cleo/Julius (very briefly, like didn't even last a day)
Cleo/Maire Antoinette
Joan/Catherine the Great
Joan/George Washington Carver
Joan/Van Gogh
I don't ship:
Abe/Frida
Abe/Gandhi (could be one sided with Abe liking Gandhi)
Cleo/Gandhi (they're siblings)
Cleo/Joan (basically step-family)
Confucius/Frida
Frida/Gandhi
Frida/Harriet
Frida/JFK
Frida/Topher
Gandhi/Topher
Harriet/Topher
Harriet/Toussaint (what were they thinking making him act just like her?? He deserves better than being reduce to the male version of Harriet)
poly bleacher creatures (they might experiment but I don't see them all dating at the same time)
#I did (mostly) alphabetical order#I'm allowed to headcanon exs - no one can stop me#I put things I explicably don't ship because I want to be clear that it isn't that I didn't think of them I just personally don't like them#ones not listed I probably don't have a strong opinion on#despite being super basic I do have a good handful of rarepairs#I might try writing fics for more of these but no promises#clone high ships#clone high#clone high season 3
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I keep seeing you taking about your fics may i enquire where you post such things?
Ah that's an interesting question.
I, uh, don't. Generally speaking.
Like rn the most my ao3 has is, like, 3 mlp short fics which I only posted because the mlp fandom has its own fanfic site and nobody reads mlp fic on ao3 because of that. And that's barely scratching the surface of all the fic I've written for mlp alone, which according to my writing doc, is currently sitting at a word count of 128k.
And with being in the mechanisms fandom I now currently have no irl friends who would be the ones to push me into posting my fic. Unfortunately the fics my irls have encouraged me to post in the past were on a separate, now deleted, blog (though this is the internet and I'm sure copies can still be found floating about because of reblogs).
I suppose I could try to work up the courage to publish some of my mechs stuff? If that's something people would be interested in?
#anonymous#asks#honestly seeing this ask was like a shot of pure adrenaline to my heart#not necessarily bad tho#it's actually quite nice to know that someone is at least interested at looking at my fics even if there's no guarantee they'd be read#it's just that. well. I am not nervous about much#but when started posting on here I was mostly into homestuk and anime fandoms. and I'm sure you know those are not the kindest places#so now I tend to keep my fics to myself even if I've never stopped writing them#if anybody would want to see my fics tho I'll consider it#like. seriously consider it#I don't want to back myself into a corner with promises but like. yeah#thank you for the ask but sorry I don't have a link to hand over to you at the moment ^^'
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but why is it fun to write leon throwing a fuckin tantrum?
#i'm just writing whatever comes to mind at the moment#but the idea of him being compliant *enough* to his government handlers....#being so fuckin bratty but he's still polite#where it's like “fuck these guys” but “im still going to do my fuckin best tho” at the same time#idk i wanna imagine he skirts the line... obeys the dress code... somewhat.... uses formalities and whatnot#but will absolutely repeat someone's words with that mocking sound and mouthing with his hands#is that...... aligned right? does that feel right?#get him before his coffee and maybe he's more of an open bitch#instead of a silent moody one#“go fuck yourself... sir” kinda shit???? lmfao#he is doing his best#maybe most of the time he's just like 'uggghh get it over with' on daily activies and mostly just quiet and avoiding everyone#then on a mission of course it's like 'fuck!! really??? ok now im gonna jump in front of this person and take a bullet for em'#i have no idea what i am doing#like.... hates the people he works for but will do anything for the innocent people kinda vibe ig idk
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Well that's because Tangy has plot relevance
#Hayley Writes Triangulum#I'm kidding; there's another bigger reason and its mostly just who he's working for#I also just don't think shaking the statue's hand ALONE would've reawakened Bill#Gotta have a bit of power behind it as well#So a couple of punk kids who think they're hot shit for going to the part of the woods where the adults refuse wouldn't be able to-#-revive him
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On a whim, I'm working on a podfic for 'Lysis,' my multi-chapter Ben/Elena fic. This is just me reading the prelude, which is very short. I'm still debating if I want to upload this onto YouTube in parts, or maybe just put them all together into one long video. It will probably be somewhere between an hour to two hours long if I do that.
Anyway, if you like this idea, let me know! I might do it for more of my other fanfics in the future.
Text below the cut if you want to follow along:
The Plumber base was silent, as it always was at this time of night. The green-tinted lighting meant that the hall looked the same as it did turning the day. Only the lack of other lifeforms was different, and it came with an eerie, almost uncanny sort of feeling, as if something were wrong.
The lone Plumber guard who was circling the hallways muffled a yawn. It was shaping up to be another dull night.
There was a clatter from down the hall. The guard — an Appoplexian who got roped into covering his friend's shift — was immediately on edge. Nothing in the base made noise without reason. He headed towards the sound.
The hallway opened into the base's main hub. It was silent and dark in here, too. The many supercomputers and monitors were all off for the night. The guard scanned the room, searching for what could have made the noise… And relaxed when he spotted a pen and a few loose papers on the floor next to someone’s desk. They must have been set precariously on the edge at the end of the work day and had finally fallen off.
The guard bent over and gathered the supplies. He set them back onto the desk they had fallen from, swept his eyes and his flashlight around the room one more time, then he left.
Once he was several hallways down, even the on-edge guard didn’t hear the soft whir of a computer booting up.
A fragmented hand, swarming with thousands of tiny movements, touched the side of the computer. A few tiny pieces of it broke off and entered the desktop, connecting to the hardware and pilfering the data banks stored within. Once the figure had the information that they were looking for, they retracted their pieces and turned the computer back off. As silently as they had entered, the figure dissolved into a shapeless swarm and slipped out of the room.
The swarming figure hung close to the walls and the floor. When it passed a security camera, the figure would pause and make sure to disrupt the live feed, inserting looping footage of the empty hall. The guards watching the cameras didn’t notice anything amiss as the figure made their way through the base, slipping underneath high-security doors and gliding down monitored hallways.
Finally, the figure reached their intended target — the location that they had gathered from the computer. Compressing their loose shape into a thin mass less than a hair wide, they slid through the gap between the door and the ground, easily bypassing the last barrier standing between them and victory.
Their destination was a small bedroom intended for a single soldier. There was an adjacent bathroom. The only noteworthy customization in the barren room was a single framed photograph sitting on the bedside table. The figure paused and stared at the photo for a moment.
If they’d had eyes, their gaze would have gone soft.
Refocusing on their task, the figure moved towards the bed. They held out a single finger, barely brushing the sleeping individual’s ear. The occupant of the bed didn't so much as twitch as a single, microscopic carrier of their ‘virus’ crawled into his ear. One was all that would be needed for this first part.
A couple dozen objects smaller than a cell were all that was needed to make Ben Tennyson’s life crumble to pieces.
The figure shot one last, longing look at the framed photograph… Then they exited the room the same way they came in.
No one saw the figure enter, and no one detected them leaving, either.
The seed had been planted. In a week's time, they would have everything they had ever wanted.
Read the rest of this fanfic on AO3.
#ben 10#ben tennyson#elena validus#belena#omnichip#my writing#that's what my voice sounds like btw#it took me literal years to stop being insecure about it#i'm mostly doing this because i got the physical copy of lysis and was just really excited to read it again in my own hands :)#fic: lysis
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*dusting off this old blog* Well it's been a while, isn't it?
#hello :D so I've been missing since September- scheduled queue aside#Life was stressing me out and I needed to cool off to focus on wrapping up the year else I'd lose it#then Life got worse by Sep-Oct (y'know. horrible real life events + personal stuff + holy shit I need to learn how to Adult)#forgot my password for a while so I was mostly on Twitter and it was Not Fun (and it still isn't)#and I remembered it by the end of January where I was getting most of my shit together and was mostly on Discord with friends#who were the reason I wasn't completely losing it so if you're reading this. thank you and I love you very much <3#but I missed being on Tumblr and the friends/moots i made. just got nervous to come back here. idk why. brain works in weird ways.#it looks like I'm justifying why I wasn't here and on one hand. yeah it's kind of an update#but it's mostly because I don't like going out and returning like stuff wasn't happening so it's really a me thing so anxiety won't spike#idk if I'm gonna go missing like that again or not but. yeah i'm still alive#(felt good to write that last phrase so maybe *something's* going right in life)#but yeah i think i'm back (not 100% because. Life) and will do a pinned. if you read all of it thank you! :D#okay i'm gonna post this now before my brain decides it's a bad idea-
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my fatal flaw is that i love notebooks and i love taking notes and i love reorganizing files and love to rewrite things and so i am constantly fielding the impulse to do nothing but rewrite the same notes in new configurations in different notebooks all day long
#N posts stuff#the binder was working really well for us for a while but now i'm like#'oh what if i copied a bunch of the notes from the binder into a different notebook for better readability/organization'#the notebook in question being a book i made myself by cannibalizing empty pages from an old notebook that i wanted to throw away#but it's smaller and more portable than the big binder is; since all the notes i want to retake are ones from Shows it's not like#portability is a major issue - i'm not ever going to go out in public to watch stuff to take additional notes - but my vision is WEIRD and#sometimes printer paper size pages are like. Too Big for my eyes to want to focus on (no idk how much sense this makes to me either)#but mostly i just like to rewrite things like i'm not Feeling Good and so it's like. idk. reassuring/soothing to just rewrite the same shit#as a kid i was like 'damn. i Fully do not understand why writing lines is supposed to be a punishment it is like Enrichment to me'#technically this fatal flaw is not a sin unless you have the subconscious internalized belief that it's Bad to not be Actively creating#and so feel guilt about rehashing comforting things as opposed to using the time to push yourself to write brand new things#so on one hand i DO have that on my shoulder but on the other like.. . pray tell WHO will stop me?
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