#“go fuck yourself... sir” kinda shit???? lmfao

[citrine-elephant]

but why is it fun to write leon throwing a fuckin tantrum?

[hongism]

yall know what time it is. ITS BREAKING THE ASKBOX TIME SJJSKALALALKAKSKWLWMNSNDDJKDK

honestly i expect nothing short of a masterpiece the moment i saw the notification. YOU! DO! NOT! DISAPPOINT! EVER! MISS CALY!!!

before getting into the crazier bits of this chapter, i wanna acknowledge how much you’ve grown as a writer during this series 🥹 recently i started re-reading some of the older moc chapters, and not to say that your writing wasn’t great before in any way, but the way you write now is so much more refined and beautiful, and i guess some of that is also attributed to how intense the story line and characters have developed. seriously, i’m so grateful to be able to read something and feel just how much effort and love the author has poured into in. now i can go on and on about praising your talent but i digress for the sake of discussing more… pressing issues that goes on here :)

*SPOILER ALERT FROM THIS PART*

now that jisung, hyunwoo and even hyunjin (sadly) has reached their demise, it finally dawns on me that this really is an end of an era. we spent like the past 1 or 2 maybe even 3 acts going through a gazillion emotional roller coaster rides all caused by jisung, but now is it weird that i’m kinda sad that he’s gone? it’s a perfect ending since jisung will probably never get his redemption even if he lives, but idk, i think it’s kinda depressing how love makes you do crazy shit :/ hyunwoo, on the other hand, BYE YOU ASS LMFAO WELL DESERVED. the only thing that dude has is the fucking audacity until the very last minute.

the action scene was beyond immaculate just as the emotional ones and there’s no doubt about that. im writing this with metaphorical tear streaks down my face and a broken heart after reading the whole chapter. you’ve got a way with words that can make me feel like i’m living and breathing in this fictional world. also, can we talk about this:

“Give me what’s mine first”

“Let her go immediately, you dog, or I’ll put a bullet in your head too.”

WELL GOD DAMN SIR. i’m gonna be fr and say i was SO certain we’re finally gonna get the infamous, long-awaited scene that must not be named between captain and ghost, but that’s on for me for not taking the slow burn warning more seriously lol. BUT there is still hope, i mean our mc would not be our mc if she can resist temptations and mind her own business yk.

"All these pit stops, huh? You sure she's the one trying to save you here, Captain? Because it looks an awful lot like that's what you're trying to do to her instead."

"Nightingale"

“I'm going, I'm going!”

and THIS IS ADORABLE OMG?!/?? i swear this whole part and the next part here is a prophecy that they’re gonna get it.

Yet, what you see before you is a trap, one carefully set by a vulnerable yet volatile man who could easily turn the situation into one that is advantageous to him permanently and you briefly. You imagine he has been in this position before — one where he can take as he pleases without thinking of the consequences of his actions — and where you stand, in a vulnerable spot yourself, you feel that tug to be near someone on equal footing. Wonder persists in your mind as you question where that is how Yunho initially fell into bed with him some time ago, or even further back to the first time Seonghwa was with him.

my girl has got some resolve and dignity alright, but we’ll see how long that lasts hahasksjak. we still probably got around 100 more chapters lol but just so you know, you’re gonna have to expect more than a broken askbox when that happens. everyone here will go so insane we might accidentally report you for emotional damage /hj. this is more than enough rambling but PLEASE I CAN NOT WAIT FOR MORE YOU’RE A LITERAL GODSEND THANK YOU LOVE YOU <3 - 🌊

OMGOMG okay i’ve been trying to answer this ask for like 2-3 weeks now but tumblr kept making it disappear from my inbox i was legit losing my mind?? but god bless today... today it worked... so finally i can respond... 

thank you for waiting for me so sorry tumblr was a bitch and didn't let me respond sooner </3 i was legit so sad it kept disappearing bc i wanted to answer SO BAD LSKDFJFLK thank you thank you first off in this past few days i'e received so much lvoe and compliments on my writing, and i've been told many lovely things and i know you sent this ask a while back but man it still means so much to me i'm still so grateful the words hold just as much meaning to me i really truly appreciate them and you!!!

now onto the spoiley bits... you're spot on! this is the end of an arc in its own regard where we've been in this storyline for such a long while by now that it's a bit like wow! that's over! i've been loving seeing the mixed bag of reactions about jisung, truly, the overwhelming majority are upset over his death even if he was a villain in many regards and that is super fascinating to me and frankly that was my goal i was trying to achieve! switching the perspectives of jisung vs hyunwoo, i wanted to play with that concept and i couldn't be happier with the outcome!

hongjoong and mc have such a fun dynamic and push-and-pull to play with too i adore it and i adore seeing everyone react to that as well, especially with recent chapters ofc.. but she's a strong one! she's resisting well! she's still got her resolve and her dignity both buttttt we'll see how much longer that lasts :3

[ddejavvu]

oh mother of fuck u have no idea how out of place it feels sending u something about nsfw but ik that u do that here so im sending u this (my apologies😀) & running away 🏃‍♀️🏃🏃‍♂️

but i think a concept thats kinda funny kinda spicy is hotch & bau reader having a professional relationship surface level, but under that hotch having like.,,., a embarrassingly large crush on them and one night just,,, j🅰️ckin 0ff to the thought of them and then struggling to make eye contact with them the next day at work cause the night before is all he can thing abt lmfao 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

baby don't feel out of place i literally get the horniest shit in my inbox every single day

this post is 18+, minors dni.

"Come in." Aaron's brow furrowed as his fingers tightened slightly around the pen in his grasp. He hadn't remembered calling anyone in to see him.

The door to his office cracks open, creaking slightly on the hinges as you make yourself known, "Sorry to interrupt, sir. I was wondering if we could go over my performance review earlier than we'd planned?"

Right. Your performance review. It was scheduled for three in the afternoon, but here you were at 9AM.

"I suppose so." Aaron felt something stirring below his gut as you turned to shut the door behind you, your pants shifting around the globes of your ass. He'd imagined squeezing that same flesh just last night, imagined how each curve would feel while they were squeezing his cock.

He'd been so lost in thought that you'd settled into your chair in front of his desk without him noticing, and his stationary eyeline just happened to be right where your neckline landed when you sat. Your shirt was low-cut, still professional, but definitely not a turtleneck. It gave him the slightest hint of cleavage, and he felt his cock twitch in his pants, stirring to life.

"Are you sure this is okay?" You ask, as he clears his throat, shuffling through papers to find your files.

"It's fine, Y/L/N." He dismisses, sending you his version of a smile, "You saved me from having to do more paperwork."

You let out a sympathetic giggle at that, settling back into your chair as he shuffles through the papers.

"Well I'm sure you know we've had minimal issues with you," He glances teasingly over the stack of papers, "There's not many problems here to discuss."

"Sir, if you're going to bring up the time I sassed that detective," You start, bringing a thumb up between your lips as you gnaw on the nail there, "I sent a formal apology to their department and it was cleared, I promise it won't happen again."

Aaron's eyes trail your movements, the way that your soft, plump lips bend under the weight of your thumb. Your teeth show as they scrape against your nail, and your voice comes out muffled as it moves around the finger in your mouth.

You take his silence for sternness, and nervousness brews in the pit of your belly, "I'm very sorry, sir, I know it was unprofessional."

He blinks, snaps out of it, and realizes he's hard beneath the desk. He scoots forwards slightly, locking eyes with you again and shaking his head, "It's fine. I hate to fuel your fire but he deserved it. Just try not to do it again."

"What if I do it again and just don't get caught?" You raise an eyebrow cockily, leaning forward to joke with him. The sight makes his stomach bottom out, and he feels the urge to lean forwards, not back like he should.

"As long as I don't have to deal with it, that's fine." He lets himself laugh, delighting in the soft smile it spreads over your face, your eyes crinkling at the edges, "You're a good agent, Y/L/N, I'm glad you're with us."

"Me too." You beam at him warmly, "Thank you, Hotch."

He wants to correct you. Aaron, he thinks, you can call me Aaron, hell, he'd let you call him daddy if you really wanted to, but he stays silent, only nodding with a kind smile on his lips.

"Do you want me to send Prentiss in now?" You stand, taking the papers he hands towards you over the desk. He deliberates, he knows she's next in line for a review, but his pants are tight and he's gripping the arm of his chair so hard his knuckles are turning white, so he shakes his head, "Not quite yet. I'll get her in a little while, I just need to finish first."

He gestures towards the paperwork he'd been working on when you came in, but he knows damn well he needs to finish, not finish. You nod cheerily at him, bidding him a good day. It's a sentiment that he returns, and he watches with rapt attention as you shut the door to his office and race down the steps, a bounce in your step that makes your chest shake.

He keeps paperwork held conveniently by his side that just so happens to cover the bulge in his pants as he closes the blinds to his office. He's sure Rossi will understand the correlation between you leaving and Aaron shutting himself in, but right now he doesn't care, all he cares about is fucking his fist hard enough to pretend it's your cunt.

[hwangcore]

hi love your stray kids scenarios, but can you do a felix x fem reader where reader is like a sub/pillow princess? because i am one lmao and i see a lot of reader!doms which i can’t really get into because im not one lmfao <3

a/n: this is shorter than i had originally intended, but i hope you enjoy!

warnings: smut, oral/fingering (f receiving), kinda dom/sub dynamics, 460 words.

“Felix?” You couldn’t keep your eyes off him as he slowly pried your legs apart, pressing slow, gentle kisses up your thighs.

“Yes, baby?”

“Are you sure-“

“I told you earlier how much I wanted to eat this pretty pussy of yours,” he said, getting closer and closer to your soaked core. “Now be a good girl and let me enjoy this.”

He wasted no time in licking up your folds before closing his lips around your clit and sucking.

“Shit, F-Felix!”

“Mmm you taste so good, love.” He murmured as he slowly pushed a finger inside you. “Fuck, you’re so wet, baby.” He fell mostly silent as he returned to sucking on your clit, adding a second finger and rubbing hard against that spot inside you that he’d found almost instantly. You tried to close your legs and squirm away from him, but he shoved your thighs back open and pinned them to the mattress..

“Don’t you fucking dare,” he glared. “You know what your safe word is if you want to stop, but unless you use it, you better keep these legs open and let me make you come. Understand?”

“Yes, yes s-sir.” It never failed to amaze you how someone as sweet and soft looking as Felix could be so dominant in bed.

He continued sucking and licking over your clit whilst thrusting his fingers in and out, always making sure to rub against that one sensitive spot, until you could feel yourself nearing the edge.

“F-Felix,” you whined. “Close, so close, please.”

He pulled away from your pussy to grin up at you, looking borderline obscene with your slick all over his mouth. “You don’t have to beg, baby.” He flicked his tongue over your clit. “I’ll let you cum whenever you want, princess.” He ducked back down and wrapped his lips around you, sucking extra hard just as he thrust his fingers back inside you, and that was all you needed.

“Fuck!” You cried out, bucking your hips against his mouth as you came. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. Felix.”

Just before the stimulation turned painful, Felix pulled away from your sensitive cunt, licking his fingers clean.

“Fuck,” you breathed, finally coming down from your high. “That was so good.”

Felix made his way up your body to press a brief but hard kiss to your lips. “I hope you don’t think I’m done with you for the night.”

You leaned back to look up at him, eyes widening when you realized he was dead serious. “You’re going to be the end of me.”

“Don’t worry babe,” he began kissing across your cheek, along your jaw, and down your neck. “All you have to do is be a good girl and take what I give you, yeah?”

[babyboibucky]

The Match

Pairing: CEO!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You come across your boss’ Tinder profile.

Word Count: 1,446

Warnings: HMMMM sexual tension 😏

A/N: I wrote this in a whirl and tried to format it through the app last night and it SUCKS so I’m posting this just now. Anyway, there will definitely be a smutty part two to this lmfao ya know it

Edit: PART 2 IS UP!!!

The Match Masterlist || MAIN MASTERLIST

Saturday night and you’re on your bed, wine-drunk and all as you mindlessly swiped through Tinder. You start to frown when none of the guys impressed you enough to swipe right. Their bios were all the same, revolving around their egos only to end up with the good ol’ “DTF” line.

Bored and disappointed, you almost exited the app until a very, very familiar face appeared on your screen.

“Holy shitballs, it’s our boss.” You sat up immediately, bringing your phone to your face for a close inspection.

Indeed, it was your boss James Barnes but he was using “Bucky” as his profile name. You wondered whether it was his real account or a poser one. But then you remembered his closest colleagues calling him that.

You snorted as you checked out his profile. He didn’t have a bio but had a couple of photos uploaded. And oh wow, is that a shirtless mirror photo?

You rarely worked closely with your boss but goddamn, sometimes you wished you did because he was a hot piece of ass.

“Should I swipe right...” you mumbled to yourself.

Would it be unprofessional to do so? But then again, you never really interacted with him that much. Just a couple of polite nods and greetings whenever you passed by him at the office. You weren’t even directly reporting to him.

That being said, you were quite sure that he wouldn’t swipe right on you given that you’re his employee. Of course he wouldn’t want to be the unprofessional one so being tipsy and all, you decided to take one for the team.

“Tss, what the hell.” You huffed out and swiped right.

Not even a second later, the “It’s a match!” message popped up on the screen almost immediately. You choked on your wine and dropped your phone, eyes wide and heart racing because you just matched with your fucking boss.

“Shit!” You hissed, diving onto the floor the pick your phone up.

If the message popped out as soon as you swiped right on him, then that means...

“He swiped right on me first, what the fuck!”

-

Monday came quickly and you’ve never been this restless before. You couldn’t wrap your head around the fact that you matched with your boss on Tinder. Neither of you messaged the other over the weekend but now that you were headed to work, you honestly didn’t know what to expect.

You debated whether to call in sick or maybe, pretend that you died? Pack your bags and perhaps fly to a different country and start anew? You were overacting but matching with your boss on a dating app known for hook-ups should be a valid reason to justify your thoughts.

Maybe James didn’t recognize you that’s why he swiped right. That was possible since you and him didn’t really work together. It’d be better if he swiped right by accident, his phone probably slipped from his hands. He probably doesn’t even know he matched with you, yeah, you decided to settle on that conclusion.

Taking a deep breath in, you fixed your hair before stepping out of your car. Mondays were meant for meetings so he probably wouldn’t be around the office anyway. You rushed over to the elevator and let out a sigh of relief when you didn’t have to share it with anyone.

That was until someone managed to slip a foot in between the doors, catching up to you before the elevators slammed shut.

“Oh.”

Well, well, well if it isn’t James “Bucky” Barnes. Out of all the people you had to share an elevator with, it just had to be him! And judging by how his eyes widened at the sight of you, the Tinder incident wasn’t simply an accident.

“Good morning.” He greeted, clearing his throat as he stood beside you.

James’ scent wafted in the air as soon as the doors slid close and he smelled divine. He smelled like a man, a man man and it almost made your eyes roll. You greeted him back with a soft voice, fighting so hard not to look at him because as always, he looked pretty damn good.

He was restless beside you, adjusting his suit and then his tie. You could see him through your peripheral vision, he kept on fixing his hair as well. Did he get a haircut? It was shorter than before, not that you were paying way too much attention to him.

Meanwhile, you too were fidgeting with your shoulder bag, picking at the leather and praying for this torture to be over before you could even lose control and slam your lips against his.

“How was your weekend?” James asked, glancing at you.

This was probably the longest conversation you had with your boss. You weren’t even sure which was more awkward, striking a conversation after the match or simply remaining quiet for the entire ride up.

“Um, it was good. Yours?” You asked, stammering a little as you stole a quick glance at him.

James nodded, “Good too. Interesting actually.”

Fuck! He knows, he so knows about the match.

You would have preferred complete silence over the elevator music echoing in the air while the both of you were obviously feeling the tension. Was the elevator really this slow?! And when did it get this hot?!

You started fanning yourself when you started to sweat from the awkwardness of it all. Bucky too could obviously feel it, the tension and the elephant in the room waiting to be acknowledged. He loosened his tie all of a sudden, popping the top buttons of his dress shirt which quickly reminded you of the shirtless pic in his profile.

You could feel the heat creep up to your neck and ears. With how bright the lights were in the elevator, it’d be easy for James to notice how red you turned.

“Kinda hot today, don’t you think?” He asked.

You let out a mirthless chuckle, “Yeah, really hot. I think the maintenance should have the air conditioning unit checked.” You breathed out, clearing your throat again as you wiped the sweat forming on your forehead.

For a couple of seconds there was nothing but the collective sounds of you and your boss clearing your throats. The tension was so thick you can literally touch it if you tried. You wanted to address the unspoken issue but how the hell were you going to do that? Jump on his bones? It would seem like a good idea to do so except that he was your boss and that would result to you losing your job.

You wanted to ask James though, whether he was aware that you were his employee when he swiped right. Actually, you just wanted to bring up the topic just to get it over with. Acknowledge the match and then pretend it didn’t happen to save you both from the embarrassment. Yeah, you could do that.

Unable to hold back anymore, you broke the silence to ask James a question.

“Did you swipe right on accident?”

“So are you down to fuck?”

You and James asked at the same time, his straightforward question making you weak in the knees because what the hell...

James bit his lip, shaking his head in response. “I didn’t.”

“Oh.” You blinked, unable to stop yourself from staring at James’ mouth when he ran his tongue over his lower lip before taking it in between his teeth as he looked you over with glazed eyes.

Damn that tongue, though. And damn those blue eyes too.

“Are you...?” He repeated again, reminding you of his question.

Your boss, whom you rarely interacted with in the office, just asked you whether you were down to fuck. Truthfully, you were only on Tinder because of boredom and it wasn’t your goal to actually hook-up with someone. But now that your hot boss swiped right on you and seemed to be really interested in you...

“I...uhh...” you stammered, not really knowing how to tell him that yes, you would very much like to be fucked by him.

The elevator dinged, interrupting the tension between you and James. The doors slid open and James quickly straightened up before walking ahead.

But not without turning around to look at you expectantly, waiting for a response.

Due to the pressure and the elevator doors beginning to close, you blurted out the first thing that you could muster.

“Yes, sir!”

You blushed at your response but it seemed to have stirred something in James because his eyes darkened as he smirked at you.

“Good. Then I’ll see you in my office in fifteen.”

-

Everything Bucky Tag List:

@ddowii @jessou893 @stealapizzamyheart @bagelofthelord @mxnt @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @jeeperky @ohladymacbeth @wildflowergubler @supraveng @twinerd14 @buckysmar  @bakugouswh0r3 @sweetcoldharmony @wintersfilm @charminivy @amelia-song-pond @iamvalentinaconstanza @mcubqrnes @i’m-squished @tcc-gizmachine @sipsteacasually @tcc-gizmachine @prettyintopeerpressure @weloveyasmin @est19xxshit @bloodhon3yx @dressed-in-prada @lizette50 @thatfangirl42 @sunflowerbunny2 @unmagically @okiegirl24 @sugarpunch-princess @enlyume @vvipgotbb @slimeyderp @lyoongx @just-deka @nobody-will @jaziona92 @elisebuitron @dpaccione @suvikamahes98blr @buckybarneshairpullingkink @earthtonav @x-judyjude-x @nani-kenobi @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @belladonnabarnes @iloveangstposts @weenersoldierr​ @asemistablehundredyearoldman​ @reidbuck​ @lizzarooni​ @girlfriday007​ @5-seconds-of-mendes​ @whoth3hellisbucky​ @bonkywobble​ 

Sign up on my tag list here - https://forms.gle/b5haFXewSKqnXxxh7

[elysianslove]

hi! may i request hcs of the haikyuu boys watching/helping their significant other workout? maybe yoga or just a regular workout? would be sweet if it was all of them but i know there are so many, so mainly kuroo, kageyama, bokuto, oikawa and nishinoya <3 thank you!!

hi anon!! i’m sorry i didn’t do all the boys, but i wrote for the specific boys you requested. if you, or anybody else, wants these hc’s for other boys i’d love to do them hehe. hope you enjoy!

kuroo tetsurō

he’s so excited as soon as you’re like “hey wanna work out together”

like his whole body freezes up and then he just

screams

if you’re already like pretty athletic, he makes everything a competition

but doesn’t actually compete

he just wants to watch you 😏

no fr he’ll be like “i bet i can do more squats than you”

and then just doesnt squat and only watches you squat

this mf 😭

he gets way too excited and puts an alarm at 4;30 am to text you/wake you up to go on a run with him

you: see that’s what we’re not gonna do

if you’re not very athletic or you’re just starting to get accustomed to working out

he is so. encouraging

like sickeningly so

tries his best not to overwhelm you and does really basic workouts with you

but also if ur laying face down on the ground crying “i dont wanna do this anymore” he will NOT have any of it

good luck unsubscribing to his services

he just wants to see you succeed 🥺 👉🏼👈🏼

cooks you the best healthy meals you dont even feel like youre missing out on anything

now

yoga

listen he’s so cheeky

he’s so mf TOUCHY

couples yoga with kuroo >>>>

it’s so funny bc this man is so strong he can do pretty much any move that requires any type of strength but pull out the flexibility card and he will pass away on the spot

he also just likes to watch you do yoga

not just bc he’s a pervert

but also bc it’s just interesting to see you in your zone

buys you yoga pants just bc <3333

“u just wanna stare at my ass”

“how dare you i would never objectify my gf”

stares at your ass <3

kageyama tobio

remember when i said kuroo would make everything a competition but wouldn’t really care

kageyama cares

he’s so annoying youre just trynna have fun working out w ur bf but here he is trynna kill u bc he’s so much better at everything

okay but if YOURE better 🤑

it pisses him off at first but then he realizes he’s pissed off bc ur so hot and make his spine tingle

work outs with him are intense as fuck

like he goes all out

but then he helps you stretch and 😏 it’s worth it

if he’s helping you workout, he’s kinda harsher than he intends to be

and when he realizes that yk maybe he’s being a lil extra

he apologizes and just asks how you wanna do it

spends the night researching hehe 

is encouraging in a demeaning way like “do you WANT to regret not working harder” ur like tobio i swear on my life i will start crying

when y’all are done he does like give u a small kiss and the sweetest smile “good work” and it makes it all the more worth it

about yoga though

when he first watched u he was horny hwbwjwks

he was like oop what is this feeling

but then it clicked lmao

avoids watching you unless you’re doing it privately so he can embarrass himself less

if you invite him to join you it’s just rigorous head shaking but he loves you sm he’ll do anything for you

he just follows your lead and is listening so attentively and is trying to mimic your movements exactly and is so awe oh my god he’s so CUTE

once ur done and ur both just laying on the ground you roll over and kind lean over him and give him a kiss “thank u for doing this with me”

“we should do it more often”

not horny just in love with you <3

bokuto kōtarō

so hyperactive good luck keeping up with him

he’s also like

built

LIKE HAVE YOU SEEN. HIM???? no way he doesnt go crazy w the work outs

if you suggest to work out together he’s so excited and he just does everything normally the way he does at 2.5x speed and you’re just like bruh 🧍🏻‍♀️ slow down

you do eventually find your own rhythm that kinda matches his own

and it’s nice to have him with you because like if you’re at a gym and ur using a device across the room from him he’ll just yell and wave at you and blow you a kiss god i love this dork

after you’re both spent you just sit on the ground across from each other stretching just talking just vibing

gives you a big smooch in between everything if he can

it becomes a really positive addition to your life ngl

if he’s helping you work out

he is actually the fkn BEST

despite him being a work out freak, he doesn’t force that on you in any way

if anything i think he’d be super gentle

so cheerful when encouraging you

and rewards you a lot

too much probably

“20 PUSHUPS BABE !!!! LETS GO MAKE OUT FOR 20 MINUTES”

he doesn’t just say it he really does mean it when he tells you he’s proud of you

loves it when you do yoga

immediately tries to join in

“oouu teach me this move” proceeds to fall on his ass <3

 t’s okay he has a lotta cushioning 😏

he always wants to try the couples yoga moves

he saves them on his phone to show you later and you cant say no bc ur already in gear and the yoga mat is on the ground hehe

(if you watch cody ko and kelsey kreppel’s couples yoga video that’s basically how it goes with you two)

^^^ in one of the moves he has to like lift you up by your arms as youre sitting down and he’s standing and he accidentally just shoves your face into his crotch

you both couldn’t stop laughing until you nearly peed and thats the beauty of love

oikawa tōru

he has to repeatedly ask you if you’re s u r e you wanna work out with him 

if you’re s u r e you can keep up

please hand his cocky ass to him <3 

if you’re athletic, prepare to have him try to one up you every time you do something 

it’s so sweet though cause he’s so determined and he’s sticking his tongue out between his lips and you’re just like baby please what is this 

tells you to lay beneath him while he does push ups so he can kiss you 

you complain about how sweaty he is but really you just want him to take his shirt off <3 

okay two important things i want to go over

one. oikawa does not know when to stop. so, honestly, you probably suggested to work out with him to keep him in check and make sure he doesn’t overwork himself 

please make him drink water and take breaks when necessary :( 

two. his knee :( he would probably need to be very careful and he’ll teach you the correct way to massage it and prep it before he does any critical work 

if you approach him one day about helping you work out cause you’re clueless — yes it will get to his head

but like ??? he’s your boyfriend??? your very athletic boyfriend??? 

who else would u ask tf 😹

anyways he makes a whole like list and shit

organizes it so well with color coding and different handwriting 

keeps you up to date with your progress and always says things like “look how well you’re doing babe!” and gives you a hugeeee hug 

now, oikawa is either weirdly flexible, or not flexible at all

we’re gonna go for the first one for this yoga hc 

joins you randomly and starts doing the poses correctly right away ur like ??? sir ??? 

distracts you. so much. 

“can i have a kiss— another one?— one more— one more babe— okay an—“ 

make out sessions ensued :)

nishinoya yū

actually i think noya would like to be in own zone kinda thing when he’s working out

probably blasting some katy perry in his ears ngl 

but when you tell him you wanna go work out with him?? 

now you’re both blasting katy perry in your ears 

stares. stares so much. provocatively. 

he’s your bf so you get it

but women have come up to you in the gym asking if you’re okay hbwjwkwe

makes you try out his routine while he tries out yours 

“wow babe this is sooo easy” he’s dying dont believe him

you guys probably have a handshake that’s so motivating to do before and after eeekkkk he probably makes you feel SO good about yourself after

takes you to eat the unhealthiest shit he can find after a workout because why not right ? chivalry? undead 😻

if you ask him for help he’ll accept right away

competes with you to help you improve 

“one day babe you’ll be beating me at these with such ease” 

he’s the loud kind of encouraging 

yells a lot

like so much 

body worship all the time <3333

“god u look SO good right now i love you so much” 

this simp i love him sm

anyways. onto yoga 

did i mention he stares 👁👁

because he does 

he already knows you do yoga and he will find out your schedule 

just. likes to watch you tbh 

if you offer to do couples yoga with him he refuses bc he likes the view where he is lmfao 

there are so many tiktoks of him just doing the dances while you calmly do yoga 

it becomes a trend lmfaowjwnsj

anyways yes best supportive bf award goes to noya (actually all of them who am i kidding)

end note; MY BEST FRIEND PAINTED AKAASHI FOR MY BDAY GIFT I STOPPED BREATHING ,,, anyways i hope y’all enjoyed this!! feel free to request some more mwah

[spideyskrunkly]

GPD Chat

Just something for fun

🧸 - Grace

🐍 - Nathan

🎧 - Alex

👮‍♂️ - Ramirez

🍭 - Jones

⭐ - Chief

Warnings: swearing, rude humor, crappy art also no reader here sorry

Everyone's just being mean to eachother

I was kinda inspired by a Wattpad fic

2:24 p.m.

🍭, 👮‍♂️, 🎧, 🐍 and 🧸 have joined the chat

🎧: Everyone in here?

🐍: Present

🧸: Hey

👮‍♂️: Here

🍭: wtf Ramirez where have you been aren't you supposed to be at work????

👮‍♂️: Chief King gave me the day off so I went to the beach

🐍: What's the weather like over there

👮‍♂️: A little chilly but pretty sunny

🧸: I heard they had some animals around

🎧: Like sharks 😨

🧸: No more like just crabs and types that can be seafood

👮‍♂️: I actually got a picture of the crab!

👮‍♂️: I took what's called a selfie

🍭: How is that news

🎧: Shut up Jones

🍭: 😢

🎧: #jonesslander20××

🍭: Wth

🎧: Chile anyways so Ramirez can we see the photo

👮‍♂️: Sure

🐍: What kind of crab is it

👮‍♂️: idk but it's green

🐍: Oh no, stay away I heard they were weird

👮‍♂️: Don't worry Nathan I only took a photo

👮‍♂️:

👮‍♂️: Like I said, a selfie

🎧: THAT'S NOT HOW YOU DO A SELFIE 💀💀

🍭: BRO 💀

🧸: 😂 wtf the angle

👮‍♂️: I'm trying my best here 😭😭

🐍: Y'all c'mon he's old give him a break now he didn't know

🍭: This is that horror movie type shit 💀

🧸: LMAO

🎧: Naw this is one of those anime angles

🧸: ALEX DUDE

🍭: LMFAO ALEX

🐍: I'm ashamed of you all

👮‍♂️: It's okay Nathan this happens all the time

🐍: U should stick up for yourself man

🐍: This is why Jones is rude

🍭: 🙄💅 Bitch, I can be rude to whoever stands against me and that is that

🎧: I don't see crumbs off of his statement

🐍: That's it

🐍 adds ⭐ in the chat

🍭: WTF NATHAN

🧸: Nathan bro

🧸: You can't just do that

🎧 : We're so dead

👮‍♂️: Yikes

🐍: WTF RAMIREZ I WAS DEFENDING YOU 😡😡

👮‍♂️: Calling the chief in here is suicide

🐍: Relax he might be busy

⭐ joins the chat

🍭: bro 😑

🐍: oh shit

⭐: What is this

⭐: Why aren't you all working

👮‍♂️: Damnit Nathan

🎧: Misunderstood the assignment

🧸: Hey Chief

⭐: Hello Grace

⭐: What's up Nathan

🐍: Ramirez is getting bullied but now I'm getting bullied

🎧: fatherless behavior

🍭: Whoa Alex 💀

🧸: Oh damn ok Alex

👮‍♂️: Sheesh Alex 😨

🐍: See

⭐: Quit bullying each other and get to work

🍭: I am now 🧚‍♂️ a non bully 🧚‍♂️

⭐: Shut up Jones

🍭: Now I'm getting bullied after I stopped

🍭: Harassment!!

🎧: #jonesslander20××

🧸: Alex you need to calm down

🍭: YEAH ALEX CALM DOWN

🧸: No Jones I still think you need to shut up

🍭: Grace 😭

🐍: This is getting out of hand

⭐: Well CUT IT OUT

⭐: Get back to work that's an order

⭐: Now how do you turn this off

👮‍♂️: There's a red button that says off sir

⭐: Thank you Ramirez

⭐: Now hang on

⭐: [muted]

🧸: sir??

🐍: I think he disconnected

🎧: No his chatbar is muted, I checked the recent active bar

🍭: HOW???

🍭: Ramirez what did you tell him???

👮‍♂️: I didn't tell him anything I just told him about the red button on the right corner to turn off

🎧: THAT'S THE FUCKING MUTE CHAT BUTTON DUMBASS

👮‍♂️: Why would they even have that button

🎧: I think he was co host or something so maybe he had the option to shut anyone up

🐍: Ramirez you basically told him to shut up

🍭: Down bad

🧸: srs 💀

👮‍♂️: Aw come on guys

⭐: ...

🍭: Wait his icons still glowing

👮‍♂️: Wait so then how can he get out??

🎧: Click options and then click exit

👮‍♂️: Oh ok

⭐:

🍭: OMG I WAS LEAST EXPECTING THAT 💀💀

🧸: See we need to work on angles 😂

🐍: NO BECAUSE WTF

👮‍♂️: 😂😂😂😂

🎧: LMAO BOOMER SHIT 👹

🍭: ALEX CHILL

⭐: GOT IT

⭐: I CAN SEE THE CHAT

⭐: RAMIREZ

👮‍♂️: I'm so sorry sir I thought that was the mute button

⭐: PULL THAT SHIT AGAIN AND YOU ALL ARE GOING TO BE ON FILING DUTY

🍭: Why all of us tf

🧸: Exactly wtf for

⭐: QUIT QUESTIONING ME

⭐: NOW GET TO WORK

⭐: Jones I have an assignment for you so come to my office

🍭: Damnit

🎧: lmao see you in hell

🍭: 🖕

[karlheisenberganyone]

This is my first post so I’m sorry if it’s bad lmao but yeaaa, this is kinda my first smut post ya knowww- but yea if it’s bad I’m sorry. Also I’m only doing this cause I’m bored asfffff 😫😫 also I might only post smut cause that’s what I’m best at cause I’m one hörny bish lmfao. So yea no one under 18 read I guess.

SMUT UNDER THIS PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

Karl Heisenberg x female reader smut 18+

“Only for a bit”

Warning: cursing , kinkyyy, getting tied up, choking, pet calling (sweetheart, kitten) you also using names like sir. Just sexy stuff 😩

Enjoy <3

You were one of the 4 daughters of Lady Dimitrescu. You, Bela, Daniela, and Cassandra were treated very well, with rich delicious wine and goods. You were different from them though. All 4 of them were vampires, but you, you are an ordinary human being. Instead of eating human meat and drinking human blood, you ate normal animal meat and drank fine wine or water. It wasn’t difficult living with this family, you actually really enjoyed it. You had a wonderful mother and wonderful sisters. You felt loved and accepted in their family. You have lived with the Dimitrescu’s since a very younge age. You were brought into the family by Mother Miranda, who apparently found you in the abounded village a few miles away.

Today there was also a very important meeting being held up, and mother insisted you came over to accompany her, which you happily accepted. You were now In your bedroom, getting ready, but stopped when you heard a knock. “Sister, mother told me to bring you this dress she got made especially for you” you heard Bella say behind the door. “Oh ok, thank you very much and tell mother I’m very grateful” you said opening the door and taking the box with the dress in it. “I will, also mother wants you ready in 20 minutes” Bella said disappearing into a swarm of flies. “Ok!” You said loudly but not too loud.

You opened the box to see a gorgeous emerald green dress, with a bunch of gold swirls on the front with green gems. You slowly and carefully put the dress on and then go style your hair. You weren’t really used to these long dresses, and looking very elegant. After 20 minutes, you walked down the stairs in your heels, slowly to not fall over and make a scene of yourself. “You look absolutely stunning, as always dear” you heard your mother call out to you. “Thank you mother, and I’m very grateful for this dress. Bella told me it was specifically made for me” you tell your mother with a soft smile. “Only the best for my sweet beautiful daughter’s” your mother replied back with a soft smile. “So are you ready dear?” Your mother asked turning to look at you. “Yes mother” you said, taking your coat off the hanger and same with mother.

It was early autumn, and it was getting a tiny bit chilly. You walked down the paths, walking past many trees turning all different colours to show it was autumn. It truly was a gorgeous sight to see. After a few minutes of walking, you get to your destination. Mother opens the front door to find Donna sitting peacefully, greeting you and mother, while her doll running around laughing maniacally. Moreau was quietly lighting the candles to bring a bit of light inside. And Heisenberg no where to be seen yet. After all you were 30 minutes early. Mother sat down in her regular spot, talking to Donna about how she has been and catching up. You, you went to talk to Moreau about how well he has been. After 10 minutes of sitting down and talking to Moreau about video games he has, the door was harshly opened by a heavy boot, belonging to no other than Heisenberg. Everyone brings their attention towards the man himself, looking at his toothy white smile, greeting everyone by tilting his hat a bit and walking towards his seat. “So the dog decided to come over” mother started. “Oh shut up you bitch, I always come here for meetings, usually a bit late, but today is different!” Heisenberg said glaring at her through his glasses, and then looking at you, you looking back at him with an angry expression. “What are you frowning at kitten?” He asked you. “I do not like it when someone calls my mother in appropriate names” you said with a harsh and calm tone. “But your “dear mother” has called me a dog so I have full right to call her a bitch” he said putting his hands over he chair, and crossing his legs. “Not like she isn’t right” you mumbled, loud enough for everyone to hear you, and your mother laughing quietly.

“You wanna fight or something kitten?” He asked you leaning forward now. “No, I just don’t like my mother being called harsh words that aren’t true” you said glaring at him. But when he was about to argue, Mother Miranda has arrived, leaving Heisenberg to close his mouth and groan loud enough for you to look at him.

After about an hour or so, the meeting ended. “Y/n, dear, please do me a favour and walk home. I must talk to Mother Miranda about something very important, and I won’t be coming home any time soon” mother said. You give her a reassuring smile and a nod, putting on your coat. You weren’t scared of walking home, because you knew how to fight. You could kill and fight with no problem, after all you do live with vampires. You walked out the door, and first thing you smell is the strong smell of cigar and whiskey, telling you Heisenberg was right there, and you were right. You turned your head towards him watching him smoking his cigar with a “really, here?” look. You shake your head a bit and start walking home, but before you could go you heard him talk. “I didn’t let you go anywhere kitten did I?” He asked you, you turning around to look at him. You took a deep breath and said “no.1 I ain’t no kitten so stop with that kitten shit, and 2nd of all you ain’t my parent so I can do what I want” you said with a little smile and started walking off home.

But Heisenberg didn’t give up easily. He started following you. You turn around rapidly. “What do you want?” You asked. Heisenberg just watched you. You could feel him eye you up and down even with those glasses on. You sighed out loud and started walking again, not caring that he was right behind you anymore. “You know what kitten, come with me to my factory, I wanna show u something” he said suddenly. You turned around once again and looked at him. “Why would I go to your factory?” He sighed “Come on pet, do ya have anything betta to do? No, so come over to mine. At least I’ll have some company”. The thought of you and Heisenberg being together alone made you kind of excited. You liked this man for a bit and loved teasing and annoying him, and he loved doing the same thing.

“Fine, but only for a bit” you said, letting him go in front and lead the way. It was a small walk and you got there real quick. “So here we are, my dear factory” he said showing off his mechanical creation’s. After giving you a walk through the factory, you asked why he invited you over. “Well I had a few questions” he answered, and now ur curiosity wanted to know what he had to ask. “You look curious kitten, would ya like to know?” He asked which you responded with a nod. “Well kitten, why did you chose to listen to me and come over?” Was his question first. “I dunno, I was bored so yea” you responded. “2nd question, what’s your type?” You looked at him with a suspicious look. “Why do you want to know that?” You asked. “You really wanna know kitten?” He asked lowering his voice a bit, which makes you shiver in pleasure. “I would like to know, but is it worth it?” You asked. “Well you will have to wait and see” he said. “Come over here” he said taking his glasses off and hat, and you obeying him and come near him. You could see the lust and need in his eyes making you feel warm and tingly.

“I would like to know why you want to know my type, Heisenberg” you said getting closer to him. “You really wanna know dear?” Seeing the lust in his eyes. “Yes I do” you said, a teasing look on your face. “Cause I wanna see if I’m of any of your standards dear. I wanna see if I can claim you as mine” he said coming closer to your ear, whispering in a deep raspy voice, which made you feel wetness come over. “And what would you do to me if you were of my standards and could claim me as yours?” You asked, teasingly wanting to know his answer. “Oh I’d do a lot to you kitten~” he purred into your ear. “Could you tell me what exactly?” You asked. “Right now, I’d like to rail you right here right now, make you scream my name until you can’t speak no more, listen to your moans like some music, fuck you so hard you start shaking, tie you up and make sure you can’t fuckin escape and make you endure the pleasure” he said making him squirm under him, making you feel like a hot mess, with only words. “Can I touch you?” He asked. You nod, immediately, begging for some friction. He slowly put his hands on your waist, pulling you closer to him, and then taking your chin in one of his hands, and giving you a fast kiss, which soon turned into a heated make out session, his hands travelling around your body, while yours on his shoulders. Picking you up, he places you on the table behind him, throwing everything on the table onto the ground, placing you on top of it not stopping the kiss.

He soon started taking your dress off, unzipping it from the back, slowly to not make no damage. The kiss getting hotter and more heated, tasting the mix between cigar and whiskey, making your knees weak. After taking off the dress, he starts trailing kisses and bites down your jaw and kneck down to your exposed chest. He looked at you with a questionable look, and you gave him a quick nod to show him it was ok. After pleasuring you with your tits, and not getting a lot of moans out of you, it didn’t satisfy Heisenberg.

He laid you down onto your back and took of your panties. He gave you another look, and you nod. He slowly looks at you panties. “I haven’t even touched you that much, but look how fuckin wet you are kitten! And because of me and only for me” he said spreading your lips. He lowered himself biting at your thighs earning a few needy moans. It took him ages to finally give you a bit of pleasure by spreading your lips, and him finally using his mouth and tounge finally licking your clit, making your back arch and moan his name. That made Heisenberg go faster and add more pressure, which made you a moaning hot mess, for him and only him. “You taste fuckin delicious kitten” he said in pants. He then brought his 2 fingers, and slipped them inside you, curling them, making you feel more pleasure. When you felt your orgasm coming, Heisenberg stop what he was doing making you whine . “Come on, Heisenberg, I wanna cum so badly, please lemme cum” you moaned. “But kitten, I’m not done with you yet.” He said taking his shirt off, boots and then undoing his belt.

When he undid his belt, and unzipped his pants, you could see his hard erection, making you wetter. “Enjoying the view princess?” He asked while taking his dick out. You just gave him a needy look and that gave him the hint to put it in. But before that you saw metal scraps flying past him taking your hands and pinning them at the top of your head on the table, making you unable to move your hands. This distracted you, so you didn’t notice Karl moving forward getting in place to rail you. He pushed in, which made you wince in pain letting him enter you bit by bit. You didn’t notice how big he was, feeling him fill you to the brim. “Is that all you can take kitten? Well fuck you still have a bit to go. You are so tight for me baby” he said moaning breathily.

“I cant take anymore Heisenberg, it’s too much” you moaned your legs trembling. “I’ll make you take all of it” he said pushing the rest of his length deep inside, making you arch your back in pleasure, making you gasp hard. He let you adjust to his size for a few minutes until he started moving his hips. At first he went with a slow passionate pace, but seeing you arch your back moaning for more, he picked up speed and strength, taking his dick nearly out, and slamming back in, making you gasp and moan. “Kitten, I want to hear you loud, don’t hide any of your sweet noises” he said breathlessly. You gave him a light nod before him slamming himself into you again, making you nearly scream his name out, him hitting every perfect spot.

He took one of your legs, onto his shoulder, making him go deeper into you, making you a moaning mess. He then took his glove off, by teeth and started rubbing your clit, building another orgasm inside you. “Already another orgasm pet? You have to beg for this one a lot harder sweetheart” he said rubbing your clit harder and slamming harder into you. “P-please sir please let me c-cum, I’ll do anything, please let me cum, please” you begged in between moans. “Tell me how good I make you feel” Heisenberg same slamming into you faster, watching your face curl into pleasure. “You make me feel so good sir, please haah your dick makes me feel so good sir, you are so good sir” you said with tears in the corner of your eyes.

“Good girl, so fuckin good for me and only me” slamming hard into you, your legs trembling nearing your orgasm. “Karl I’m about to-“ you slightly screamed, but Heisenberg stopped you by wrapping his hand around your neck, his other hand still rubbing your clit, making you cum hard on his dick, squeezing him, making him go harder, chasing his own orgasm moaning fuck and your so fuckin tight. And then he slammed one more time, spilling his seed deep inside you, filling you up. After that intense orgasm, Karl fell on top of you trying to support his weight with his hands on each side of your head. He let you go off the metal scraps, and you put one hand in his hair and the other on his shoulder. “Fuck, I should’ve done this sooner, don’t ya think?” He asked slightly laughing. “You should have, but better now than never” you said and with that he lowered down to give you a soft passionate kiss, making you melt right under him.

“You should go home kitten.. you can maybe stay a bit longer next time” he mumbled softly, not wanting to let you go, but also not wanting you to get in trouble and hurt. “I should” you said getting up, cleaning up and dressing up. He just put on his trousers and belt and watched you while lighting a cigar in his mouth. You were about to head out until Karl took your wrist and kissed you a goodbye kiss. “I’ll see you again kitten” he said with a grin letting you go and opening the door for you. “Next time then. Bye bye” you said and he just waved. What a crazy day you told yourself walking home aching but happy.

[themistakengenius]

-> The "about me" section is inspired by the one and only @cosmiksims 1.) Do you prefer to be referred by your name or blog name? I don't share my real name online but I answer to both MistakenGenius and Blue,(Why blue? Honestly just because it's my fav colour hehe) 2.) Where are you from? I'm from Romania 3.) Do you have pets? 👀 I in fact do, I have 3 cats and a dog, sadly I don't have any pictures of them on my computer so I can't show you them but trust me, they are adorable <33 They're like my children haha 4.) Tell us about your “dream.” Honestly I just want a stable job that I love (I do not want to wake up complaining about going to work, I want to enjoy it!. Be able to financially support myself on my own without depending on other people or a s/o. I want to have kids in the future and I hope my future includes a loyal s/o <3 5.) Aside from art, what are your hobbies? I used to skateboard before Covid, I would go to a skate park and basically just do crazy shit lmfao. I also edit photos and take photos irl and in sims, it's sort of like a passion of mine. I love capturing the moments :P

6.) Does anyone irl know about your blog? Nope

7.) Do you know anyone from your blog irl? Nope

8.) What are some fun facts about you? I've been playing sims for almost 3 years now. I never broke any bones in my body. I used to have a tumblr gameplay but got bored of it lmfao

9.) What’s your day job? I work as a waitress, and I love my job 10.) What’s your aesthetic? I don't think I have any tbh, I just kinda go with whatever vibe I feel like at the time

11.) What kind of artist are you? I draw by hand on paper. I tried digital art a few times and I liked it but I prefer drawing by hand.

12.) How did you get into your form of art? I still haven't gotten into my form of art but it shall happen soon.

13.) What do you watch/listen/read/anything else while you create? I don't like watching anything while I draw because I get distracted easily but I do listen to spotify while I draw

14.) What is your favorite of your own creations so far? Probably this one: I just finished it today. It's Hinata Hyūga from Naruto (I'm such a big fan of Naruto, if you couldn't tell already lmfao)

15.) How would you describe your art style? So far I'd say anime looking/cartoonish

16.) What is more satisfying to you coloring or outlining? Outlining, because you finally get to see your creation coming together. Something about outlining just gives it more depth and I'm so here for it.

17.) What meme would you use to describe yourself?

I have two, because I'm indecisive as fuck >:) (Also replace sir with miss ^-^)

18.) If you were on the run, what would you change your name to? GeniusMistaken ;) I'm kidding, I don't actually know. Probably a very common name so they would take forever to find me. With no face ID, no DNA, no fingerprint ID and just a name you're kinda stuck so. For legal reasons you did not hear that from me wriowjrgjr lmfao

19.) Have you ever or do you want to change blog names? I have in fact changed my blogs name. If you look back at some of my older poses I used to be called "BlueSkies" but I changed to MistakenGenius because I thought it was more fitting with the theme I wanted to go for so yeah

20.) God forbid Tumblr decides to pull a MySpace and lets us have page songs, what song would you choose? I have so many songs in my mind right now and I'm so indecisive I can never pick just one *sobs*. I would probably go for the song "Chicken Tendencies" Please do not feel pressured to do this but imo it was v fun >:D Now for the tags... @peefarts69 @cherryael

@geeky-simz @asplashofsims @rainypurpleskies @orchidlyhere @amelettes @simlishslurs @kubysim @asimofmanyhats @whitemoonshine98 @insimnious @sunniesimmer

[jean----ralphio]

BoB liveblog ep 7

Episode 7: The Breaking Point. YEAH, OF MY FUCKING HEART

I HATE THIS EPISODE. I HATE IT WITH THE FIERY INTENSITY OF A THOUSAND BURNING SUNS.

00:00 I really don’t wanna do this you guys.

00:38 Can’t we just pretend this episode doesn’t exist?

01:22 OMFG I CAN’T ALL THE SWEET IRL MEN ARE CRYING NOOOO IT HURRRTS

04:05 RICH! Ok I feel a little better. Ahaha, he’s growing a beard. It’s got nothing on the quarantine beard he’s rocking nowadays tho

04:22 That whole scene is hilarious but I’m too distracted by Rich to appreciate it properly

05:18 Horsie

05:30 Hey Fassy

05:57 He’s so obsessed with the Luger, oh Hoob ☹

06:07 Ahhh that second where he looks into the camera and fires ☹ He’s so happy

06:31 IT’S SHIFTY MY ANGEL SON, MY ANGEL CHILD, LOOK AT HIIIIIMMMM!!!! MY BABY! I’M SO HAPPY! THIS IS THE ONLY GOOD PART OF THE EPISODE! HE’S SO HUMBLE AND PERF ILY SHIFTY

06:51 He is such a fucking angel, I swear. “What happened to the horse?” PETA would be pleased you care, baby.

07:01 Look at my son, look at his little angel face

07:27 Buck seems a little better??

07:47 Gold.

“Shut up boys.”

“Shutting up, Sarge.”

But notice my angel is perfectly well-behaved

08:00 “That was no rifle.” Shifty just Knows Things.

“What do you see, Shift?”

“Nobody out there.” HE’S JUST A BOSS SNIPER ANGEL ELF BABY OK

08:15 Oh Hoob

08:43 Oh God

09:03 ROE OMG NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR JOKES “Did you think it was a German leg, Hoob?” I MEAN LMAO BUT NO

09:33 Nooooooooooo

09:44 Oh God, the way Buck and Perco are cradling his face ☹

10:04 Husbands, do something, reincarnate him or something

10:32 Oh Dick is shivering aw

10:38 Lip, baby, no, do not cover for than incompetent POS

10:48 The husbands are unimpressed

11:39 Nice gloves tho Dike

11:57 “At present, as per usual, but I’ll clarify that with you at a later time.” No. No. He’s asking now. He needs to know now. Wtf.

12:39 IS THAT RICH??

13:12 RICH! BEARDED RICH!

13:23 I LOVE HIM SO MUCH YOU GUYS

13:26 Just gonna pause here a little while, excuse me

13:47 Lip is such a boss. We love you Lip

14:13 Bill’s laugh <3 RICH’S SMILE <333

14:48 Dick omg your flirting, so cute. They are in love.

15:20 Fassy is judging you… that means Alicia Vikander is coming for you…

15:50 Omg Nix knows his husband so well

16:24 Aw, Bill and Babe <3 BROTP

17:33 Bill, sweetie, no, I’m sorry but Buck is not fine!

17:58 Oh God the foreboding. Rich ☹ <3

18:01 WTF is Luz smoking LMAO

18:33 RIIIIICH

19:08 “Well, they had a point. You’re an idiot.” Oh Penk. I’ll miss you Penk.

19:31 UGH GTFO. To be fair the actor does a great job with this role.

20:01 Dike is so random. But it’s nice he’s taking an interest??

21:20 NIX LMAO

21:33 Ugh, Dick. Stop. I know it’s to establish a sense of normalcy and ritual but Come. On. Buddy. Lol I love how Nix is just like LMAO NO I’M NOT GOING. I wish I could just say no when asked to do things by my bosses. We know it’s cos Nix can’t bear to be apart from his husband for so long <3

22:33 Guys, don’t be mean. Fassy, no, come on.

22:53 Wtf are Penk and Rich doing…

23:05 LMAO @ Dick and Sink.

“Got to keep the morale up for the folks back home.”

“Why?”

“Damned if I know.”

Iconic. Valid.

23:34 Lol my Joe/Charlie thought he was gonna get in trouble, but Dad just wanted to nag <3

24:24 Oh Bill <3 “Tied me own boots once last week, all by meself.” <3333 Bill please never change.

24:30 Rich <3333

24:36 Riiiiichhhhhh <3

24:48 Johhny ‘unimpressed’ Martin is already looking unimpressed, new kid, watch out, you’re not off to a great start.

24:56 Rich’s helmet still has bullet holes from the last episode, love the continuity <3

25:07 “You’ll find out, son.” Oh, Alley <3

25:17 Rich is hilarious in this scene, he’s having so much fun <3

25:22 Hey Lieb, I’ve missed you

25:46 Riichhh <3

25:53 OMFG that exchange!

               “How are those nuts, sarge?”

               “Doin fine, Bill, nice of you to ask.”

               Wtf Lip!!

26:05 Bye, Fassy!

26:26 Even when he’s blurred by snow, Speirs is intimidatingly good-looking.

27:01 He’s so polite but so scary

27:23 You’re hot, Speirs, so I automatically trust you. Not sure what that says about me but it’s probably not good tbh

27:57 Joe/Charlie has been back five seconds and he’s already out for blood.

28:58 Hey Lee

30:00 Oh God

31:33 Oh no, Joe/Charlie, my baby ☹

33:39 Bill’s here, baby, it’s OK

34:10 I can’t deal with the hilarity of Babe blocked in by the tree while Joe/Charlie is in such a bad way and being done so dirty

34:56 Oh GOD

35:28 Bill </3

36:11 My thoughts exactly, Luz

36:42 Buck ☹

37:41 “Hey Joe, I told you I’d beat you back to the states.” Bill don’t me laugh while I’m crying. Aw, we’ll miss you <3

37:59 Not really the time but fuck it, I am totally digging Luz’s hair now

38:26 I’m so shook. I’ve watched this series a billion times but it still hurts me. Scene after scene, Joe/Charlie in pain, Buck screaming for a medic, God Neal and Kirk are so good.

39:18 Oh God, Buck

40:00 Rich I love you

40:44 Rich <3 ☹

41:22 Noooooooo </3

41:44 No. No. NO.

41:59 NO. NOPE. CANON NOT ACCEPTED. They’re fine. They’re fine, they’re just off-screen for the rest of the series, chillin with Hoob and Renee on like a nice beach somewhere. Drinking maitais and maragaritas and building sandcastles and shit.

44:00 Hit Malarkey the hardest? NO FUCKING WAY, LIP, HIT ME THE HARDEST, MORE LIKE! But in all seriousness, can you imagine losing your friends, not having a body to bury or time to grieve ugh ☹ </3 OK I concede that Malarkey and I can share the grief 50/50. No wait. 60/40. In favour of me.

45:15 Malark, it’s what Hoob would have wanted. I’d ask him but he’s busy sunbathing and keeping the drinks topped up

46:57 We love you Buck

47:14 Bull <3

47:43 Lieb <333

48:10 Hang on, sweetie, Dad isn’t back yet

48:50 It’s OK, Lip, sweetie, you can do it.

49:38 Lip, listen to me, your Dad’s going to fix everything in about ten, fifteen minutes. And he’ll get you a hot boyfriend in the process. It’s all going to be OK.

50:05 Dick, honey, Dike doesn’t understand a thing you’re saying

50:25 Dike’s like lol who the fuck was that guy?

51:17 Lieb is so blood-thirsty <3

51:23 DON’T STOP RUNNING, IDIOT. NEVER STOP RUNNING! THE REST OF US LEARNT THAT IN THE FIRST EPISODE! GOD!

51:40 WTF ARE YOU DOING, YOU FUCKING WASTE OF OXYGEN

52:09 Poor Lee

52:22 NO, FUCK, OMG

53:14 Don’t send my Lee alone!

53:33 Bull. A cigar. Right now? I like Johnny’s beard, suits him.

54:13 “THEY SHOT ME IN MY ASS, BOYS!” Aw Perco. Iconic.

54:36 Legit one of my fave scenes in the history of television. Dick is just so beside himself and desperate and helpless watching his sons stuck and in so much trouble. He’s in full Dad mode, about to run in there to save his boys. Then, and this is so subtle but it’s my fave bit, HE CUTS OFF SINK. HE IGNORES/SPEAKS OVER SINK. DICK! SPEAKS! OVER! SINK! IN WHAT UNIVERSE WOULD HE EVER DO THAT?! ON WHAT PLANET WOULD HE EVER BE SO DISRESPCTFUL?! THIS ONE, COS HIS SONS NEED HIM NOW AND BEING POLITE AND ADHERRING TO PRINCIPLE AND RANK DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER WHEN EASY IS IN TROUBLE! AND THEN HE CALLS UP OUR BOY SPEIRS. AND SPEIRS IS SO FUCKING GUNG-HO, BOUNCING ABOUT READY TO SLAUGHTER EVERYONE, SO FUCKIN EXCITED!!

And then there’s Nix, lmao, chillin with his binoculars, super relaxed as long as his husband stays safe, tbh.

55:06 Oh that was the new boy, aw

55:12 BOSS BAMF ICONIC WE STAN

55:20 Here you go, Lip, one BF courtesy of your Dad lol

55:48 Oh GOD I MISS RICH

56:24 LMFAO was that the haystack Dike was behind??

57:00 I.C.O.N.I.C.

57:23 “The astounding thing was, that after he hooked up with I company, he came back.” Annnnnd Lip’s in love.

57:49 Aw happy boys

58:09 Noooooo they’ve been through enough! I’VE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH THIS EPISODE OK, FUCK!

58:23 Go on, my angel son, you can do it.

58:36 Go, son. I love you.

58:43 Yes. Good boy.

59:26 Aw Bull piggybacking Perco <3

1:00:23 Oh yay! The church scene!

1:00:39 Look at my angel son <3

1:00:48 Hey Lieb

1:00:54 IT’S TAB! HEY TAB!

1:01:09 Babe <3 GRANT <3

1:01:29 Ahahaha Roe, I see you strategically placed yourself where you could stare at Babe 😉

1:01:59 Only 63 men left? Oh </3

1:02:00 Ahh Joe/Charlie <3 Bill <3 We love and miss you

1:02:20 RICH <333333 I LOVE YOU RICH <3333333 GOODBYE RICH <333333333333

1:02:39 Fuck Speirs is hot

1:02:53 The flirting <3 shooting looks at each other aw

1:03:09 Boys, stop checking each other out. You’re literally in a church full of nuns, go somewhere else to expend your sexual tension, jeez.

1:03:41 Flirting via talk of Roman soldiers, I dig it

1:04:28 Oh God, guys, this bit. Other than the propensity of my angel son, compared to usual, this is the only good part of the episode, I am here for the Speirton!

               ���You don’t have any idea who I’m talking about, do you?” HIS FACE IS SO SOFT

               “No, Sir.” Lip, sweetie.

               “Hell, it was you, first sergeant.”

Speirs’ is in love right back. And his continued flirting re battlefield commission GOD. The way he looks at Lip… you deserve the hottest guy in the whole show, Lip, proud of you sweetie.

1:06:48 Annnnnd everything fucking hurts.

 To summarise, I am kinda appeased by the glorious glory that is Spierton. Rich and Penk and Hoob and Renee are FINE. THEY JUST SO HAPPEN TO BE OFF-SCREEN. IT’S FINE. I’M FINE ABOUT IT.

[anna-skeletons-gallery]

Joker X Teenage!Killer!Reader

Summary: You aren't a vigilante. You're just a nice teenage girl who's got supernatural powers from her necklace and who tries to survive and protect herself from the awful, disrespectful men of Gotham City by annihilating them from existence. Your inspiration was the man who started riots all over Gotham and also whom you mildly admired; the Joker. Who would have thought that he'd be slightly interested in you, though?

A/N:  Let's be honest, even if this movie doesn’t take place in the DCCU, this is still a DC character. Would it hurt if we add a few superpowers in this fanfic? I don't really think so. Also, I deadass didn’t know how to end this fanfic so I’m sorry if the ending is kinda trashy lmfao. Anyways, feel free to send me any requests y'all might have!

Warnings: Body mutilation, catcalling and public sexual harassment.

★・・・★・・・★・・・★・・・★

“And as we can see behind me, a third riot has gone loose on Wall Street this month. As for now, more people are participating than on the last two, yet there are no signs of their, so-called leader, the Joker who apparently escaped from Arkham Asylum about two weeks ago-” You turned the TV off. You didn't want it to be noticeable that you supported that type of stuff and raise suspicion from your coworkers, much less your boss. “(I don't give a fuck about what people might think of him. He's a fucking hero to me. He showed all those rich assholes what happens when you turn your back on the people that need help the most, leave them to die or just straight-up treat them like insignificant shit.)” You thought to yourself smiling while you finished mopping the floor of the restaurant you worked at. It was your closing shift today and as soon as your last chair was up the table of the restaurant and your boss left, you grabbed the front door keys, grabbed all your stuff and closed the restaurant's back and front door, you head straight to the subway.

It was a pretty chilly night, as usual. Once the subway arrived, you hopped in, put all your hair on each side of your front and put the big fluffy hoodie of your short black coat on. Although you and a strange man with a long purple coat and a black hat that covered almost his entire face were all alone in that big wagon, you didn't want to bring any attention from the next possible passengers. Unfortunately for you, that’s not what your luck had in store for you tonight. After arriving at the next station, two white, apparently wealthy and drunk men, got on the same wagon as you. You gave them a look. They looked like they got out of some kind of crazy party or club. You rolled your eyes and looked the other way, but apparently, one of them noticed your annoyance towards them and approached you.

“Hey, there! *hic* How you doin', hot-stuff? You’re lookin' *hic* real nice,” one of the sits right in front of you. God, not even the significant distance between the two of you could stop his disgusting alcohol smelling breath from going up your nostrils. “I’m sure you'd look *hic* even better in my bed all bent over. How much for one *hic* whole night, mama, huh?”

“(Ugh, men. Great.)” you think to yourself sarcastically before your eyes extend a little bit and an evil smile formed on your lips as an idea that popped up in your head. “(Wait, hold on... Oh, great!)”

“Hey, don't be rude! He’s complimenting you and asking you a question politely! At least take off that mask and show us a real smile!” the second guy says in a tone that kinda combined threatening and jokingly while sitting right next to his friend trying to touch your knee but you shove it away from his grasp. Although he wasn't as drunk as the other one, he still smelled like he took a whole shower with alcohol and you weren’t about to let a gross man who talked to you that way touch your body. At least, not yet.

You stayed calm and kept ignoring those guys in front of you until the subway stops at your station. You head out the wagon and just as expected and desired, the two men followed you while yelling at you in a failed attempt to get your attention. As soon as you saw a nice alley, you took a turn and waited for them to corner you.

“(Perfect.)” you think before leaning back on the wall of the dead end. They got closer to you. “Hmm... I’ve got nothing else to do tonight, y’know?” you say with your voice slightly high-pitched in an attempt to sound interested and completely seduced. “And to be honest, it has been a pretty boring day so far. Sooo... What do you guys think about having a little quick fun, hm? Here and now? For free, if you want.” you wrapped your arms around the neck of the least drunk guy and rubbed your left leg on his side. Both of them looked at each other like they just hit a nice big jackpot.

The least drunk one holds your leg up a bit more. “Shit! But out here?” he scoffs. “You sure about that?”

“Why not? Nobody will know. And nobody can hear us either. Now, why don't you start over here and find out what’s waiting for you?” you said pointing at your chest. The guy obeys you and unbuttons the first button of your coat revealing a pretty little rose quartz necklace. “Nice necklace,” he comments while going for the third button.  “Thanks. It's the thing that will help me send you straight to the gates of Hell.” he stops and looks at you as if you said something absurd. “What-?” Before he could even finish his question, your necklace started shining stopping his and his friend's whole body. You smiled childishly and walked back from them. This is the night they both die for approaching you inappropriately.

All it took was a small movement of your hand to lift up the two men in the air and slam them against the wall behind them. You could hear their panicked and pointless screams for help, but you stuck their lips shut so you could think of what to do with them. “Y'know? Most ladies nowadays carry pepper spray or pocket knives to protect themselves from creeps like you two. But for me? I carry something much, much better and far more interesting.” You took out a pair of surgical gloves and a long scalpel from your purse. After you put the gloves on, you took a black mouth mask with a white sharp-toothed grin print on it. You could see how the men were growing more and more terrified. You loved it. “Don't ask me how I got this shit, okay? Oh, that's right! You can't!” you started giggling at your own comment. “Don't worry. Just like you guys say to women before sex, I promise not to hurt you. I’ll be gentle with you.” still using your powers, you started unbuttoning one of the guy's white shirt and approached the scalpel to his body and started carving in his chest and torso the words he told you on the subway: ❛You'd look better in my bed all bent over.❜ His muffled screams gave you so much pleasure. His phrase was done, it was the other guy's turn: ❛At least show us a real smile.❜ “A smile...” you thought out loud. That gave you another idea. “Well, if you want a smile that badly, I can surely give you both one. And I can also make a little tribute to a certain someone.” you lowered the men a little, got face to face with them and began cutting the edges of their mouths upwards all the way to their ears to give both of them a big bloody permanent smile.

You backed up and gave them one final look to judge your work. You were proud of it. So proud you started laughing. You found their pain and suffering hilarious and delectable. You kept on laughing for a few moments until you finally calmed down, sighed and looked at the poor men who looked like they were on the verge of death. “Well, that was fun. Hopefully, this will teach you to not bother a girl because one day, you might fuck with the wrong bitch,” and with that said, you used the powers of your necklace to change into your clown costume. “and get what you fuckin' deserve.” Yes, your admiration for the Joker made you create a clown persona for yourself. After changing and letting out that last sentence, you cut the guys' wrists all the way up to their forearms making them bleed out and slit their throats twice. You wanted to be the last thing they see before dying. Once you made sure they were undoubtedly dead, you let them fall down from the wall on the dirty water from the alley.

Suddenly, a burst of laughter made you turn your face to the entrance of the alley just to find the strange man from the subway slowly taking his big coat and hat off, revealing a very unexpected surprise: the Joker. He threw his coat and hat on the dirty floor as if he could just get new ones with the snap of his fingers, and proceeded to walk towards you while applauding you slowly. Once he shortened the distance between the two of you he spoke “Well, that certainly was quite a show, sweetheart!” he said between laughter and eventually stopped. You couldn’t believe the man who started these rebellions against the rich of Gotham and killed Murray Franklin on his own show was standing in front of you and saying that he enjoyed the atrocious act you just performed.

You took your right hand on your chest surprised and pleased with his comment and smiled proudly looking at the dead bodies and then turning to see him again “The Joker complimenting my... Killing skills? Thank you so much, sir! I’m quite flattered!” you said giggling because of your little pun and doing a funny British lady curtsy to him. He was the Clown Prince of Crime after all. You wanted to show him your respect. “I saw the whole thing,” he said starting to walk around you and examining you completely. “the way these... Pieces of scum were talking to you on the subway, the way you, SOMEHOW, pinned them to the fuckin' wall, how you made sure they suffered for their actions,” he looked deep into your eyes while grabbing your chin “the way you gave them a smile in my honor,” you pulled your mask under your chin and offered him a big smiled that showed your teeth “and how you didn't let them go until you made sure they were dead. Not bad! Not bad at all.” You giggled and looked at the corpses. “Thanks, it really means a lot coming from you.”

“Your techniques are something special and you’re pretty interesting, doll. Your name?” you thought for a second. You didn’t really think of giving your clown persona a name. Then you knew what to respond. “Melody. My clown name is Melody.” you looked at him while he lighted up a cigarette and took a long drag. “Melody, huh? That’s a nice name. A name perfect for a murderer. Would you like me to walk you home?” you thought about it for a second. You respected him and supported him, yes, but allowing him to know where you live knowing how dangerous he is? You couldn’t risk your safety like that. “I appreciate the offer, sir, thank you very much, but I’m afraid I’ll have to decline it.” he gave you a side-smile. “I understand why, no worries, doll, but first I would like to hand you a little something” he searched into his red suit jacket and handed you over a small card. You read both sides carefully. You raised an eyebrow. “A medical condition, huh? So that’s what it is?” he turned to you shocked and took the card from your hand “Whoopsie, wrong card!” he says with a chuckle and hands you over a different one with a direction. “Why are you giving me this?” you asked innocently. “In case someone as powerful and strong such as yourself decides to join me and my people, leave behind the boring working life and try something exciting, you’ll know where to find me.” you couldn’t believe the Joker thought of you as powerful and strong! You thought for a second. “How do you know I won’t use this to turn you to the police, though?” you didn’t understand why he trusted you this much after meeting you just a couple of minutes ago. “You won’t. And if you do, or someone else finds this card and chooses to be a snitch, it won’t matter. I always manage to escape. On my own or with the help of the people.” he took a long drag of his cigarette and exhale it while looking at his right. That looked awesome! As if he knew he was the big boss. You gave him a smile. “Thank you so much for the offer. I’ll think about it, but I gotta get back home now.” you started walking past him. “It was a pleasure meeting you, Mr. Joker” you looked at him and waved him goodbye. “And it certainly was a pleasure to meet you... Miss Melody.” you left the alley with a smile. You lied about thinking it over. You knew EXACTLY what to do.

[srcpcsoha]

Could I ask you to do all 170 of the asks or is that too much lol?

Good Sir, you underestimate my boredom. (also thank you!) 

1: How tall or short do you wish you were?I think 5′3 is a good height to be.

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)

I WANT LIKE 30 DOXENS

3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?

I love dresses

4: What was your favorite video game growing up?

The Harvest Moon games!! And Disgaea!!

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day:

Things: Cartoons, dogs, the future6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?

”plz do not shake”7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]?

I have no problems with persons or things

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]

Umm.. I actually don’t know.

9: Are you ticklish?

YES. Everywhere

10: Are you allergic to anything?

nothing important

11: What’s your sexuality?

Straight, kinda bi-curious

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?

None of those lol

13: Are you a cat or dog person?

DOG!!

14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?

VAMPIREEEEE

15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber?

GAME GRUMPS owo

16: How tall are you?

5 ft... D:

17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?

Probably Lucille

18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]

LOOOL no thanks;;;;

19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?

No

20: Do you like space or the ocean more?

I think both of them are good.. i dunno

21: Are you religious?

nah

22: Pet peeves?

People who are whistling while near me, loud people etc

23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?

Opposite of nocturnal...

24: Favorite constellation?

None

25: Favorite star?

None

26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?

i guess it would depend on the doll.. i have some La La Loopsy dolls

27: Any phobias or fears?

Spiders, dolls coming to life lmao

28: Do you think global warming is real?

Yeah

29: Do you believe in reincarnation?

If I saw yes do i come back as something cool

30: Favorite movie?

Uhhh....Mulan!

31: Do you get scared easily?

Hell yeah im a wuss

32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?

1. His name was Snickers!! He was a doxen~

33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.]

I think its cool

34: What is a color that calms you?

Never thought about it. Wouldn’t know

35: Where would you like to travel and/or live?

Californiaaaaaaa take meeee

36: Where were you born?

In a hospital, in the states.

37: What is your eye color?

Blue

38: Introvert or extrovert?

Introvert

39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?

No, but I love to read them

40: Hugs or kisses?

I need both

41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?

My crush lol

42: Who is someone you love deeply?

my mom and grandma

43: Any piercings you want?

no44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?

on other people

45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so?

nope

46: Talk about your crush, if you have one!

Ahhh He’s really great. He’s very nice, and creative, and he has a lot of fun ideas! :D He doesn’t like me, but we’re friends!

@continuedabstraction

47: What is a sound you really hate?

Running water.

48: A sound you really love?

the violin 

49: Can you do a backflip?

no

50: Can you do the splits?

nope.

51: Favorite actor and/or actress?

I don’t know if I have a favorite per say

52: Favorite movie?

Was I not already asked this?

53: How are you feeling right now?

just kinda meh

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?

BLUEEE, god i wanna dye my hair again

55: When did you feel happiest?

Being accepted into college

56: Something that calms you down?

warm water

57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]

ADD

58: What does your URL mean?

its the first letter of  all of my Disgaea characters together.

Sakar, Ri, Celick, Pamille, Chi, Sahana, Oni, Harry, Ambereve.

59: What three words describe you the most?

Tired, sarcastic, and DOG

60: Do you believe in evolution?

sure

61: What makes you unfollow a blog?

Porn bots lmao

62: What makes you follow a blog?

same interests!

63: Favorite kind of person:

A chill friend~

64: Favorite animal(s):

FOX !!!!!! 

65: Name three of your favorite blogs.

shit bro

@vanitasaurus @yotniinam and @funhousefreak

66: Favorite emoticon:

Probably the eye emoji lmao

67: Favorite meme:

68: What is your MBTI personality type?

Uh.. ?

69: What is your star sign?

??????

70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?

nope!!! but he was so cute!!

71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most?

Lately a dress to lounge around in

72: Post a selfie or two?

73: Do you have platform shoes?

I have a pair of 6 inch heels, does that count?

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?

75: Can you do a front flip?

lmfao god no

76: Do you like birds?

nope, nature sucksss

77: Do you like to swim?

yeah!

78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?

gotta say swim, I cant skate

79: Something you wish didn’t exist:

Donald Trump : )

80: Some thing you wish did exist:

World Peace

81: Piercings you have?

none

82: Something you really enjoy doing:

Watching Game Grumps! Doing it now

83: Favorite person to talk to:

probably @xiulric

84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?

Wow everyone is a super great artist except me 

85: How many followers do you have?

320

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?

Why are all of these questions about athletic.. lol no 

87: Do your socks always match?

not always but I try

88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?

yep

89: What are your birthstones?

Garnet!

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?

Fox 

91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?

oooh A rose! A red rose

92: A store you hate?

Forever 21... I can never find anything I like..

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?

None, coffee is disgusting

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?

READ MINDS, I WANNA KNOW WHAT EVERYONE THINKS OF ME

95: Do you like to wear camo?

no

96: Winter or summer?

Summer!

97: How long can you hold your breath for?

not long lol

98: Least favorite person?

oh there are too many

99: Someone you look up to:

Cartoon creators!! SOMEDAY!!!!!

100: A store you love?

Hot Topic~

101: Favorite type of shoes

something comfy!

102: Where do you live?

Canada

103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?

nope, i love steak

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?

105: Do you drink milk?

No..

106: Do you like bugs?

Ew NO

107: Do you like spiders?

eEW nOO

108: Something you get paranoid about?

Dying

109: Can you draw:

Fuck yeah

110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?

Can’t think of any..

111: A question you hate being asked?

ANNE WHEN ARE YOU GONNA GET A BOYFRIEND, BITCH SHUT UP IM TRYing

112: Ever been bitten by a spider?

nope

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?

Its ok

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?

Sunny!!

115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now:

@continuedabstraction ahh i need a cuddle pal

116: Favorite cloud type:

all?? Theyre all good!

117: What color do you wish the sky was?

I wish it was blue rn, its cloudy and gonna rain..

118: Do you have freckles?

no..

119: Favorite thing about a person:

Me! My smile

120: Fruits or vegetables?

Fruit~

121: Something you want to do right now:

see my friends

122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?

Sky!

123: Sweet or sour foods?

Sweet~

124: Bright or dim lights?

bright

125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?

No..

126: Something you hate about Tumblr:

cant think of anything right now..

127: Something you love about Tumblr:

my followers~

128: What do you think about the least?

the what???

129: What would you want written on your tombstone?

Something funny, like “brb busy painting the clouds”

130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?

oooHHh some fucking bitch ass antis

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?

You can have one, not the other lol

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?

yep!

133: Computer or TV?

Computer!

134: Do you like roller coasters?

GOD NO

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?

None

136: Are your ears lobed or attached?

Uhhh... ?? I dont know...

137: Do you believe in karma?

yeah

138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?

hgdhejgj maybe a 4 or 5

139: What nicknames do you have/have had?

Annie, Annie bananie, Eeyore ... i hate nicknames

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?

no but i used to pretend that i was a princess

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?

Yep, When I was on some medication, I had to be.

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?

I try to be a good influence

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?

GIVE ME THOSE GIFTSSSS

144: What makes you angry

TOO MANY THINGS. Snobs, People hurting my friends, bullying, etc

145: How many languages do you speak fluently?

None

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?

Guys

147: Are you androgynous?

nah

148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:

My boobs count, right?

149: Favorite thing about your personality:

Im caring, but in a very aggressive way

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.

@vanitasaurus @continuedabstraction and @yotniinam

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?

Shit uh.. I have to go back in time??? Nowhere...

152: Do you like BuzzFeed?

sure?

153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.]

NA

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?

no

155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?

No. Dont play with mine either

156: What embarrasses you?

Myself tbh

157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:

Being with my friends

158: Biggest lie you have ever told:

That i needed to go to the hospital when i didnt

159: How many people are you following?

327

160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?

far too many

161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?

none

162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?

dunno

163: Last time you cried and why:

Cant remember..

164: Do you have long or short hair?

short to others, long to me

165: Longest your hair has ever been:

past my shoulders

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon?

People get way too into it and try to force their beliefs on you

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?

No.

168: Do you like to wear makeup?

Yeah sometimes

169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds?

nope170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?

yeah

[elysianslove]

Hi! <3 I'm the roomate hc anon again (lol) and can I request best friends to lovers hc for iwaizumi, kuroo and oikawa? Also this blog is gonna blow up soon so remember me when you're famous bro 😌✊️❤️

OMG HI AGAIN! i’m so sorry this is late :( but oh my the excitement that flooded through me when i saw this request hsvhjsd. i really hope you enjoy this!! also vshdks i luv u bb THANK YOU.

iwaizumi hajime

im making these as detailed as fuck so i apologize in advance <3

becoming best friends with hajime was a very out of the blue thing 

the two of you shared a lot of classes together, and since you were always seeing each other, you’d choose each other as partners a lot 

you’d sit next to him in all the classes that you could

you’d meet up a lot during school breaks and just hang out 

you two clicked very well honestly, like you found that it was so easy to talk to him, and it was so easy to lose yourself in the conversation 

most of your convos are v mature and sophisticated too like

it’s nice when you can talk to someone on the same brain wavelength as you yk 😼

anyways overtime you’d come to his practice sessions, and even if they were long you’d just stay and watch bc why not

if you had hw to do and he noticed you were a lil stressed about it, he’d tell u to come study while he practiced as a change of scenery and all 

he’d walk you home almost every night at this point

oikawa noticing and being jealous <3 

“they’re stealing you from me!” “they’re not— what is wrong with you oikawa.” 

okay so this best friend stuff has been going on for a long time

long enough for you to realize you wanted more from him

but this is iwaizumi hajime and it’s almost impossible to know what he’s thinking 

like

ever 

so you just keep it to yourself, thinking it’s just a small crush and it’s not worth ruining what the two of you have at this rate 

so all this had happened first year, and when you’re nearing the end of your second year

that’s when you realize that

shit

it’s not just a crush

and when you have feelings for someone, every little thing they do expands a million times in your head

so a hug from him that you’d once never go over twice has you thinking about it as you go to sleep

the hoodies he’d lend you during practice while you stayed in the gym bc it was ungodly cold in there now send tingles down your spine at the lingering scent of him

the way he’d grab your hand to drag you somewhere now leave a heavy effect on your palm, forcing you to trace it once he’s gone 

his texts give you butterflies 

every time his name pops up on your phone screen you have a mini heart attack

and yeah

those are all symptoms of a crush

but is a crush meant to last this long? 

at the start of your third year, you greet him outside of the school gates after not seeing you all summer

he smiles so bright and hugs you so, so tightly 

you already are so hyperaware of how strong iwa is

but the feelings you have for him that won’t go away are so not helping your fixation on the feel of his biceps 

anyways before this becomes v nsfw 

you two catch up like u had met yesterday 

and then at the end of the day, after practice, which you stay for bc u missed ur vbc boys 🥺

he walks you home 

like always

and as he stands by your front door, in a burst of courage, he takes your hand in his and pulls you harshly towards him, pushing his body against yours and capturing your lips in a heated kiss

it’s so messy and harsh and you pretty much collided 

but holy shit

you were pretty sure fireworks erupted when you two kissed

years of pining and what had felt like unrequited love finally being resolved 

it’s the most satisfying feeling ever

you never want to stop kissing him

but alas </3 

when he pulls back, you’re both breathing so heavily 

you’re not sure if it’s the adrenaline or the kiss itself 

and he just looks at you and goes “did u tan while you’re away ur eyes look brighter” 

no sir i am in love with you

when you two officiate things 

he’s actually way shyer than he was as best friends??? 

like as best friends he wouldn’t feel slightly weird about hugging you in public or grabbing at your hand randomly or being seen alone with you

but now like

people know ??? and somehow that scares iwa 

or makes him uncomfortable 

idk he just feels iffy

but ur so understanding bless ur heart <3 

ur so careful with him and take it at his own pace 

zero pda at the start of the relationship 

like he won’t even wanna hug u in front of the seijoh team 

but slowly he warms up 

and he starts getting more comfortable with things like hand holding and occasional pecks on the cheek/lips 

your traditions as best friends don’t die as lovers 

if anything you believe in them even more 

now you watch more diligently during practice 

you proudly attend his games in his jersey, cheering the loudest for him (and for the rest of the boys bc they: best) 

walks home with you are so much more serene 

always gives you a kiss before he parts ways 

idk it’s like some sort of commemoration for your first kiss/confession 

unless you invite him inside 😏

this is so fucking long im so sorry i just love iwa 

anyways anybody want boyfriend!iwa headcanons i got a lot hehe 

to conclude, it was so gradual and inevitable with the two of you, and you’re forever glad it happened when it did and you hadn’t rushed anything <3333

oikawa tōru

unlike hajime, this wasn’t something that took one or two years

this bitch couldn’t admit he was in love with you for like 10 years okay 

you’ve known him for the majority of your life, because you’d always lived in close proximity to each other 

but you were never best friends yk? just acquaintances 

it was around the end of middle school when you two got close

cause you saw he was applying to aoba johsai for high school

and you were like !!! i’m going there too 

at first he was like stop copying me 😾 

you guys had a staring contest bc y’all are idiots and there were legit tears streaming down ur face but u were not about to lose to a pissbaby like him

he blinked 😁👍🏼

and he lost 

and then he decided “you’re my best friend now ” 

anyways aside iwa, he now had someone else he was going into high school with

like it’s a completely new environment but he had two people he very much liked going with him !!! 

when the time came around to like apply for/join clubs, you had been so clueless 

but toru stuck by you !! and he was so adamant on helping you !! 

he would sit with you after school as he practiced tossing with hajime and just brainstorm with you what you liked to do

it’s what brought you two closer together

cause you realized just how many things in common you had with him 

for a full week he tried to help you come up with something

for the sake of this hc let’s say u decide to join the newsletter club 

you’re very wary at first but then he’s like when ur part of it you’ll visit the vbc regularly so u can take pictures/observe to write essays 

the fact that toru would be there kinda set you at ease 

now you’ve never seen toru play properly 

he’s practiced in front of you before

plenty of times

but a proper match? or a practice one? 

never 

so it’s safe to say u were in awe when you got assigned to go watch a practice match against (idk pick a school) 

it’s embarrassing to admit but your eyes were on him the entire time 

thank god he became the captain later on else it’d be so sus 

you really tried to pay attention to anybody else lmfao 

it’s kinda what drew you to him more

you still didn’t really have feelings

you only realized just how passionate he is about everything 

at some point you had an essay to write for your newsletter about the volleyball club

but you were having a hard time like really getting into it

so you immediately just called toru and were like “help 😃” 

he came over and you asked him a bunch of questions, and he would go on deadass 20 min rants for each of them

you were just 

so amazed 

like how could someone have so much passion for something like this?

you realize how but that’s for later

overtime you two got closer bc of how much your work was associated with him

he’s incredible as a best friend 

he’s the first one with the school’s weekly newsletter as soon as it’s out

granted it’s to read the section about him but yk, the sentiment’s there 

also love, love, loves lazy days with you 

he doesnt even care if the boys know that he worships the chick flicks you two watch 

i feel like oikawa would be an avid anime watcher

idk why i just do 

so he’d be blasting anime theme songs on a speaker as you’re in the shower and he’s in your room waiting for you and you’re both just singing w the sound of water rushing down 

actually it’s not just anime songs it’s all songs 

a l l songs 

anyways

so you two get really close, and then he has a super important match coming up 

let’s say it’s the spring interhigh one against karasuno

the one they won

idk im just choosing at random 

and the night before he’s like begging you on text to wear his jersey

he’s like PLEASE NO ONE’S EVER DONE THAT FOR ME

you’re like bruh u have a cult following ????? 

but eventually u say yes

ur not really sure where it’s coming from but this is oikawa he’s an unpredictable as can be

when you show up in a jersey he so conveniently left at your house once

he’s so genuinely shocked even though he was the one that asked for this???

gives you the biggest hug like spins you around and just 

“you’re my lucky charm” 

when he wins 

after celebrating with his team

he runs over to you

and just

he kisses you

full on the mouth

it’s probably the rush and excitement of winning that gave him the courage to finally spill all his feelings out into this kiss

you’re in his jersey, in the stands and you genuinely feel like it’s only just the two of you

despite how sudden it was the kiss is so gentle, like he’d been planning it since forever 

“i told you you’re my lucky charm” he says as he rests his forehead against yours and kisses you gently again

oikawa had already been affectionate as your best friend

always displaying his love outwardly with like always calling out your name so loud whenever he sees you and giving you bone crushing hugs

deadass his 6’0 self will just jump on you 

but now it’s extra

makki always gags around the two of you but you just stick ur tongue out at him and go “ur just mad ur best friend’s getting some pussy/dick and ur not” 

makki then proceeds to shriek at you like a fucking banshee <3 

anyways 

yes 

oikawa best friends to lovers excellence is so cute eeeekkk

and now u always wear his jersey at games 

(u couldnt make it to the game against karasuno where they lost for whatever reason and he held it against u for the longest time)

(“maybe if a certain someone were there we wouldn’t have lost”)

what a big baby you love him

kuroo tetsurō

AH SEXY CHEMISTRY NERD 👅👅👅

kuroo as ur best friend 

im frothing 

i feel like you’d grow close after meeting at an event or something 

like you’re a friend of a friend of a friend 

i see kuroo as someone who’s so suave and cool and flirty with people he doesn’t have feelings for

but put the crush factor in and he’s a mess

like his brain just stops working

so when he first met you

he thought u were so fucking hot 

but that’s it

his lower body was doing all the thinking <3 

so he was so flirty 

and that’s essentially what your friendship is built off of 

and when friends are so flirty with each other, they generally grow close and trust each other really quickly 

ur not a nekoma student but ur in tokyo so you meet up often 

you just

it’s so nice to be around him

you find it so easy to just be yourself around him 

going out with him is super fun 

and a lot of the times you guys have study dates and you literally don’t talk except during the 10 min breaks you two take

it’s just hyper focus for the two of you which is great

he really channels the best student in you what a man ! 

i think during your third year of high school you two got insanely close

because you were highly unsure if you were gonna leave japan or stay 

so you wanted to make the most out of everything 

so you’d go out with him more often

he’d stay during the weekends and you two would like bake christmas goods all night even if it’s literally september lmfao

cuddling is so natural 

like you’re both so touchy with each other but not in a weird way just a super comfortable kind of way

like if you’re shorter than him, he’s always leaning his arm on you like you’re his arm rest 

it’s a win win bc he gets to touch you and tease you

wow the horny really jumped out in that one

anyways

you go to every single one of his games !!

cheer him on so!! fucking!! loud!!

you probably make a provocative sign and stand a chair and just wave it around and kuroo’s so heart eyes lmfao

the climb up to becoming lovers is so

natural? 

i think kuroo first realizes that maybe, yk, he wants those flirtatious comments to mean something and those random touches to hold more romantic value to them, when you two are out together

it’s a completely chill day and it’s not really warm not really chilly. you’re just comfortable 

he takes you to a park after buying the both of you ice cream from the stand across the street and sits down at a bench with you

just people watching 

and then it kinda goes really silent

but 

it’s not awkward??? like at all???

he’s not looking to fill the silence with any random words

he’s just

enjoying simply being with you

and he glances at you momentarily and it hits him like so hard just how pretty you are 

his eyes slightly widen like

holy fuck

what the f u ck

remember when i said he’s all cool until feelings come into play

yeah 😼

he literally freezes up and blurts out, without even meaning to, “i think i have feelings for you.” 

he really didnt even process he said that

you kinda

pause for a second

and then you realize what you said and you just smile and lean over towards him, lifting your thumb up to the corner of his lips and brushing away some ice cream

“you think?” you tease, and then at the spot where the ice cream was misplaced, you placed a gentle kiss

he kinda relaxes and then eyes you as he says, “i know.” 

it is just. heaven after that

i think the two of you would be less flirty around each other once becoming official 

like yeah he definitely comments once or twice every now and then and don’t get me wrong, so do you

but it’s just less frequent 

like a blanket has been lifted to uncover the true, hidden meanings behind the comments and you can now just breathe easier 

you two end up in the same uni on accident hevejsk

like you had a long ass talk about how it’s okay if you didn’t end up in the same uni you’d still make it work

and it would’ve worked tbh

fate just ships you two too much

when you told each other you were literally that spiderman meme of the two spidermen pointing at each other lmao

power couple of the uni

power couple of tokyo

power couple of japan

you’re literally so happy with him you wouldn’t trade him for the world 

and maybe you saw it coming 

but it still remains a shock whenever you wake up and he’s there laying next to you, smiling lazily at you before reaching over to give you a gentle kiss 

anyways happy early birthday king i love you kuroo hehe

end note; i really had a lotta fun w this one omg!! thank you again for requesting, anon, and i hope everybody else enjoyed!! feel free to request, mwah <3

[elysianslove]

Hello! I know this may not be your thing but I decided to give it a shot, if not no biggy!

I was wondering if you would be interested in writing Gojo and/or Sakuna with an asexual lover? (One that doesnt feel sexual attraction but doesnt mind kissing and cuddling etc and loves physical affection but nothing beyond that?) And like, how a relationship with that kind of person would come to be?

Because Sakuna and Gojo both give off *he totally fucks* vibes.

So how they ended up with an asexual lover would be interesting, maybe the MC rejects their advances because fear of being hated for being Ase? Because they know that the other person definitely fucks.

How would their relationship work? How would the guy react/comfort the MC.

(Maybe it ends with a epilogue with no sex(as in penetration and blowjobs to be exact but mc later in a relationship would be willing to do things like handjobs and other hands on/Using toys to pleasure their partner because they cant in that way) but lots of passionate makeout sessions/kissing/sucking and worshiping the mc's body? Especially the collar bone)

If you arent into it that's cool! I totally get it!

This is pretty self indulgent after all ahahaha it's hard being an asexual in fandoms lmao.

hi my love!! okay to start off, i’m really honored you sent in this request to me. idk just the fact that you’re trusting me with it is really sweet hehe. i’m fairly knowledgable about sexuality but i don’t like to write about things i’m not 100% sure about because i don’t wanna risk doing anything wrong or accidentally offending you! but!! thank you for going into detail with the request, and i hope this is what you were looking for, and that i didn’t do any mistakes <3

i wrote headcanons so i can go into detail and write for both!! 

some nsfw under the cut, my loves! <3

ryomen sukuna 

i’d say, to begin with, it would take a small while for sukuna to even be accepting of his own feelings towards you. nothing having to do with your sexuality, just you in general, specifically that you’re human and so different from him. i don’t think sex ever crosses his mind, at least at the start, because he’s too busy being really angry over the way he can’t seem to control his reactions to every little thing you do. so he himself won’t actively work at starting a relationship with you.

but he will realize, over time, that you’re not doing anything either, even though he’s been noticing that you’re not pushing him or his advances away. like any act of protectiveness that involves him physically touching you intimately, you don’t reject, and you’re always ready to retort at any quip he had. he could tell that these feelings he had for you were mutual, he was just so confused as to why you weren’t doing anything about it.

sukuna’s a thousand year old cursed spirit. he does not know shit about sexuality. i think the way he’d look at it is fuck who you want and fuck who you like. i feel like nicki minaj’s said that before, has she? he doesn’t like thinking too much about it, you know? 

his confession would probably be a kiss because words? he doesn’t know them. when he feels you return the kiss he’s, deep down, elated, really, and this is simply because of his naturally sexual personality, he starts hinting at more, until you stop him. he’s really confused because you just kissed him back? you’ve been kissing him for so long why do you want to stop now? he can see the fear steadily growing in your eyes and he’s even more confused now he’s just. humans are so weird. 

when you cautiously tell him, “i don’t want to go further than this. is that okay?” you look like you’re waiting for the world to erupt in your face. he just frowns and shrugs like, “yeah but that’s not the point. do you not want me?” 

it takes about an hour and a half for sukuna to properly process what you’re saying. at first he’s so thrown off by it, not by you! he just can’t process the fact that someone doesn’t feel any sexual attraction towards someone or doesn’t crave sex at all. it’s not that he’s rude about it, it’s just a really foreign concept to him, you know? when you add that it’s just sex, and you’re okay with a lot of other things, the gears in his brain finally start working again and he just goes. 

*shrugs* ok. 

literally lmao. like i said earlier, sukuna doesn’t give a shit like whatever do what you want. 

because of the rush of emotions he’s feeling towards you, and the fact that this in itself, a relationship, and a relationship with a human too, he doesn’t really focus on the fact that he might want more from you. he’s easily satisfied with a lengthy make out session, and he admits it to you every time he sees you get a little anxious or unsure of yourself. 

however, his needs do grow with your relationship. it’s kind of clumsy, your transition into a proper long term relationship, especially with sukuna, but you two make it work. 

you agree to try different ways to pleasure him, even if he kinda rushes through them because he’s generally just excited to have your hands on him. at first he’s content with anything you’re offering, but it makes him feel kinda useless when you won’t let him touch you and you have to remind him that your needs are different than his and that you’re sated differently.

i see sukuna as a curious and experimental guy, so he would definitely let you use toys on him. nothing too extreme, because he still needs that sense of control, but you do use some toys like a fleshlight or a vibrator to rile him up. he likes using your hand too, because it’s always so soft against him and it feels a hundred times better than any toy. he learns not to overstep any boundaries though, and not to do anything that might make you uncomfortable even if it takes him a little longer. like i said, the whole idea is just different to him, so it takes him a while to understand, and he’s still learning as he goes!

he loves your make out sessions, especially after you establish your boundaries and your limits and what you’re willing to do for him. he absolutely adores leaving your skin a sky of blue, pink and purple it sends chills down his spine marking you like that. he’s always touching you all over, and just loves to grab and knead at your skin. 

in the proper long term, he doesn’t mind it at all tbh. the two of you develop a system, and he’s okay with it. the same way you would never cross his boundaries and force him to do anything he doesn’t want, he’d do for you too! it really never truly mattered, and it truly never will.

gojō satoru

different from sukuna, i think gojō would definitely be knowledgable about things like this. idk he just seems like the kind of guy that’s innately so aware of everything around him, and can read people exceptionally well.

he probably picked up on the fact that you weren’t comfortable with sex, or just didn’t experince sexual attraction, on his own, but never really brought it up because it was never his place. but the same way he picks up on that, he picks up on your obvious crush on him. he pays both details no specific attention until he starts to realize his own feelings for you, and begins on his subtle advances.

he tried to make his advances as sfw as possible, you know? just in case his suspicions were confirmed to be true. he was just extra flirty, sometimes touchy but never in an inappropriate way. very subtilely like always having your shoulders or knees touching or dusting of your jacket or feeding you a piece of his food. cute little things like that.

he gets super worried when he notices you start to distance yourself from him, because he can’t imagine what he might’ve did to push you away. he overthinks a little, worried that he overstepped his boundaries or made you uncomfortable in any way, but he isn’t afraid to approach you about it, to make sure he doesn’t repeat his mistakes, especially with someone like you, who he’s slowly growing more and more infatuated by. 

when you admit to him you’re asexual, he realizes he was right, but then he’s like, “and? did i do something?” and now it’s your turn to be confused because here you were worried about rejection but here he was worried about you? 

this specific incident is what makes you let loose and finally just freely admit your feelings for him. he’s ecstatic about it, seriously! all that’s on his mind is that he gets to go on a date with someone he really likes. sex is the last thing on his mind, and yeah, you’ll eventually have to talk about it, but not for now. it’s for later, when things get a little more serious. 

they do get serious, to both your delights, but the dreaded moment is approaching you. gojō definitely sits you down and says, “we’re only having this talk so i know never to do anything outside of your limits. everything about this relationship is 50/50, and i want to know ways to make you feel good, too.” 

please sir your hand in marriage.

i definitely believe gojō’s a kinky guy, and is more than willing to try out literally any sex toy you pull at him. genuinely, he’ll try anything you wanna try. if you ever offer a handjob, he’ll ask a million times over if you’re sure. usually, he likes to just do it himself, but have you there next to him. he won’t touch you, but your hands will be in his hair, and you’ll be kissing his neck, or just murmuring how much you love him in his ear, just spurring him on. he knows the last thing on your mind is anything sexual, but there’s just something about being under your watchful, almost bored gaze as he fucks himself.

anyways before i get too into it lmfao, he loves kissing you. loves loves loves it. not even full blown make out sessions, just gentle, serene kissing. he can kiss you for hours. 

he is also incredible at body worship and praise. paints your pretty collarbone pink and purple, whispers about how you’re perfect for him, describes all your features to you like poetry. he’s an incredible lover, really. nothing can make him fall out of love with you, absolutely nothing.