#i'm just going to stay awake now

[tiger-in-the-flightdeck]

Mission 'Going to sleep' a complete failure.

[cometblaster2070]

so i'm going to go fucking insane because for a while this aspect of malenia's character design has been bothering me and making me think I'm seeing things and going fucking crazy.

the aspect in question is malenia's left arm:

when i first saw malenia's arm my first thought was oh okay they're probably just bandages or some sort of wraps.

but then you look a bit closer and like

idk about you (because i might be losing it) but it seems like the mesh of whatever the fuck that is very clearly melded with her skin in a way/it looks like it's going into and then emerging out of her skin (which is HORRIFYING to think of I won't lie).

and once again i thought i was going crazy and seeing things because surely these were just meant to be wraps or bandages like the ones we see in the scene of her fighting radahn right?

and then the thought of the needle came to my mind. along with something malenia says in her cutscene before we fight her.

"my flesh was dull gold"

huh. now isn't that interesting.

this would imply that in order to stall the rot from consuming his sister, miquella made a plan to sew unalloyed gold into malenia's skin using his needle in a last-ditch attempt to save her arm.

(granted it's funnier to imagine he just sticks it in her arm and goes okay great all done! and that's probably the canon way it went but)

the thought of the sheer pain malenia must've gone through during this process, to be honest, and the thought of the guilt miquella must've felt at having to force his sister to endure even more agony just to help her is just sad.

and all of it is done just in an attempt to salvage what they can of her and hope that more can't be taken.

edit: btw when looking at malenia pre-bloom and pre-losing her needle it looks like there's a proper layer/cover/whatever it is around her arm up till her knuckles making it seem like an actual covering or layer on top of her skin and what not, but when we fight her post-bloom and post-losing needle it appears like some of the layers have either flaked or fallen away and that reveals that it's actually meshed with/into her skin.

[pidgydraws]

oh~ i see, it's e̵͖͓͌̉m̷̫̜͐̽ỏ̴̬t̴̗͚̄i̶̤̓o̸̼̲̿̑ṇ̵͆͑ą̷̈́l̷̢̂ ̶͕̎d̴̮̅e̸̯͌ṽ̵̟ȧ̵̛̫̣s̷̟̀t̴̥̬̋͑ȃ̶̳t̴̜̐̇i̶̘̓o̴͈̊n̶̲̋̄ o'clock~

[doctor-disc0]

Hello darkness my old friend (literally)

[running-in-the-dark]

I had one of my worst nightmares yet last night (and that's really saying something) soo now I'm scared to fall asleep. which is just great because I already have so much trouble falling asleep!!

[mashupofmylife]

After taking boards, I decided to embark on the adventure of deprescribing all of my psych meds (because hi, it's me, I'm the problem, and I don't actually need any of these meds anyways). My psychiatrist was on board and aware of this grand plan--its not like I was going completely rogue.

Anyways its been less than 2 months and it turns out I actually really did get a lot out of taking some of those meds and I'm not good different when they're not in my system anymore and also my insight and self-awareness are pretty shit and it took me weeks to figure out that maybe this was why I wanted to sleep all the time and my efficiency absolutely dropped into the abyss just in time for the next term of grad school classes to start.

[koka-mi]

Alrighty it's naptime for me goodnight~~ ! (I'll be back in like 2 hours :p)

[queer-ghosts]

I'm just sitting at a train station considering whether i should just take the next train to wherever or just. go home.

[krafterwrites]

Sorry for complaining about it for the one millionth time but ughhhh I do not know what I'm going to do to fix my sleep schedule

[altruistic-meme]

i want to get started on the Full Hands List but i am waiting on my apartment people for scheduled maintenance and i don't really want to start until they leave but i also have no idea what time they'll make it to my apartment so we're just playing the waiting game now

[capricores]

getting asks makes me so happy, thank you guys for trusting my input and for taking the time to send asks!! 🥺💖

i have a feeling i'm going to be online quite often this week, so if anyone has any questions about astrology, spiritual stuff, healing, anything, i'm always here!! happy to answer asks about certain placements (ie: gemini moon traits, mutable dominance traits, etc), compatibility (taurus x scorpio sun compatibility), astrology topics (what do the planets mean, what are the houses, etc), take requests for posts (ie: what does saturn in the signs mean), etc!!! <3

[stereax]

woohoo spiraling out of control right now (what else is new really I've been fucked up and spiraling for weeks now) and trying to figure out reasons not to delete my tumblr and discord and myself along the way

but you know. talking about myself on my blog automatically means I'm attention seeking and fishing for pity right? should just shut up and stick to the news eh, it's all I'm good for :D

anyway if you need me I'll be in the corner reliving the past, coming to terms with reality, and trying to convince myself I'm not the problem despite every indication to the contrary ✌︎︎

[dlnqnt]

on the first day of september i encountered a ghost in my home is this an omen

[running-in-the-dark]

great! now that it's time to go to bed I have so much energy that I can't stop bouncing my legs. yay! 🙃

[pinkautist]

i've been up for twenty-one hours

[neverendingford]

.