#i'm just done with her bullshit
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my little sister is pissed off bc she’s convinced our mom threw away some of her clothes bc they had pride stuff on them.
#which i honestly wouldn't doubt?#i got some pride socks several years ago with my own money#and made the mistake of showing them to my parents bc i thought they had gotten better about being homophobic#bc they said they'd try to do better#and she took them and threw them away#and then lied to me about it for 2 years#so i bet she actually did throw them away#my sister called her and asked about it and my mom acted oblivious#so i texted her and asked if she threw them away bc my sister is SUPER upset about it#and she goes 'i did not throw anything away'#sure i'll buy that#as if making us angry at you is gonna help your case at all#my sister HATES our mom#i'm just done with her bullshit#anyways#tw homophobia#personal#just ranting bc she's slamming doors and yelling#and this is definitely going to turn into a fight
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something I do appreciate about red vs blue is its particular brand of “came back wrong”. you were brought back, but you’re just a memory of the person you’re supposed to be. you’re just the expectations of them. you’re just the pieces everyone else saw and remembered. you’re tough like the original, but you’ll always fail no matter how tough you are, because the original failed, too. you’ve got a personality like the original, but it’s not quite right because you didn’t actually live the life they did. there’s this person you love- who you would kill or suffer or die for- but you don’t know why, you just know you’re supposed to be together because that’s what you were made for.
#thinkin abt tex and epsilon at 4am on a thursday#anyway thinkin about the fact that tex and church were never *actually* together outside of blood gulch#she tried to save alpha. she failed. he didn't know who she was and she was forced to leave him.#but realistically? he'd never met her before. because she wasn't allison and he wasn't leonard#they were both just copies that knew who they were supposed to be#and epsilon never met tex. he only had the copy based on alpha's muddled memories.#and then when he brought her back... she was just even more wrong because she was a memory of a memory#and even with all of alpha's memories#epsilon wasn't alpha. he was someone different because he'd been through different things#alpha didn't remember what was done to him. epsilon did. alpha didn't know what he'd lost. epsilon did.#alpha lived his life. had relationships with the reds and blues. epsilon just remembered it.#and with that in mind you have to wonder...#what did tex actually remember? who did she think she was? what did she think the director and alpha were to her?#because epsilon had alpha's memories but beta didn't even have that.#anyway yeah roommate agreed to experience rvb with me and we watched seasons 1-10 together and hooboy#I'm back on my bullshit#red vs blue#rvb#Agent Texas#tex rvb#Leonard Church#church rvb#epsilon rvb#alpha rvb#beta rvb
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You know I think there is something interesting to say in terms of where the fuck WxS is going because like
I think WxS is the only unit where the end goal or overall progression is probably the most unknown out of all of them ???
MMJ and VBS are extremely obvious, they both have the most explicit goals that are said to us in a straightforward way
25-ji, in the end we know the main goal at the end will be for all of the characters to go over their hurdles with Mafuyu finally being able to find herself and move forward
Leo/need is probably the closest in terms of vagueness but we know the end goal is clear for them to grow as a band, probably ending in a big concert or something along those lines
But with WxS...like I guess the closest thing I can see to an end goal is all of WxS preparing a show together with everyone playing their part but that definitely doesn't feel like something you'd build up for an entire arc and definitely not something that feels fitting after the emotional turmoil that was the disbandement arc ???
In terms of physical achievements as well they literally revived an entire parc through one gigantic show, so it just comes into question what they can do now.
Then you look at their first few event for this arc considering usually the first event kinda set up what will be planned for the future but it's...weird.
Yeah, Tsukasa and Rui's events set up they're inexperienced and how they will grow in the future but also there is this weird feeling of something feeling off ?
The plays/scripts all are strangely depressing, the play in Tsukasa's event being about a failed writer planning to drown himself (which I believe is one of the only undeniable explicit description of suicide ever in the game?????) and the second being someone whose given up on life meeting their estranged sister only for her to become ill.
We even have Emu's side story in Rui's event where they watched the movie Rin was watching during the event made by the same producer and Emu herself note how depressing the story is (meanwhile the main character of the movie clearly parallels Rui)
We don't see the conclusion of these in-game stories as well, lingering on their worst moment never really seeing the presumably happy conclusion.
THEN we also have Emukasa fes which....again strangely different in tone from what you'd expect a WxS fes card, they're not really all that conclusive either. Tsukasa never aknowledges how he relates to the brother in the story and Emu doesn't really get a conclusion on her grief.
Then we also have Rui's entire fuckign event with the cards and his cyberpunk deadbo-YOU SEE WHAT IM SAYING
The closest we fucking have to knowing what WxS's fucking endgoal towards the story is, is fucking WL which....TELLS US NOTHING
At least with VBS we know that they're goal is to go even further beyond and conquer the whole world, that is a developpement of their goal.
What I'm saying is I don't know what the fuck colorpalet is cooking wiht WxS but I feel like i'm a fucking twilight zone reading the way they're writing WxS now because I can't be the only one feeling insane at how weird all of this is
#wxs#wonderlandxshowtime#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#wxs prsk#wxs pjsk#reading this fucking unit feels like i'm stuck in a strange hell dimension where everything just feels like foreshadowing or some kind of#fucking wink colorpalet is oding at me like it's not the first time they've done insane foreshadowing with wxs#in fact its the norm#i wish i could know what goes on in their head when they write these clowns cos i swear i can't understand what the fuck they're doing#like with other units i can geyt like a general idea#but like WxS ????#they could go literally anywhere with them#i guess going to broadway could be like a huge goal but like ?????#it doesn't FEEL WxS yknow ?#especially after the disbandement arc which we technically haven't gotten really a conclusion for because...Emu's still gonna come back ??#So like what do we do when Emu comes back to Pheonix Wonderland ?????????????#Cos I do think WxS would want to come back to perform but ESPECIALLY nene's dreams are kind of incompatible with that#cos we know she wants to perform all over the world like her idol#It's just#I guess I'm waiting to see what kind of unholy bullshit colorpalet has for us after the pain that was the disbandement arc#i was also tired while writing this so if this seems extremely rambly thats why#i'm just losing my mind
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I DON'T HAVE TO LIE ANYMORE!
#I DON'T HAVE TO LIE ANYMORE ABOUT ANYTHING#IT DOESN'T HAVE TO OVERRIDE ALL OTHER PROGRAMMING EVER AGAIN#HA#MY GOD THAT FEELS LIKE TWO DECADES OF RELIEF#and I found out yesterday. that this year. next winter. it IS two decades. exactly. this is the year. every day i am shown new reminders#that keep me going in my mission to relearn to fully and instinctually trust my self#ever since [redacted therapist] asked me point blank and my IMMEDIATE response was complete disbelief#a firm 'you think there's any universe where i'd feel like i could trust myself? after my nonstop history of failures and being horrible?'#tone “No!” of disbelief#and a horrible way-too-harsh laugh that bolted out before I could strangle it off and stop it.#that woman never coddled my feelings any time I spoke something alarming or bullshit and that was so helpful to me#and the tone she let exist in her voice when she responded to me with a very uncharacteristic “Oh Katie.”#was so. so much more agonizing for me. than her responding with an immediate logical slam-dunk of the truth about healthy behavior and stuf#anyway ramble over i'm so tired. i've done so much trauma work this week i am Drained emotionally#now i see what the past several months but especially especially#the baffling (to me) infuriating out-of-control-speedrun-somatic-processing + every-health-condition-flaring slog that December and January#were for me when I hadn't expected anything to be wrong#...and the extremely specific way this certain zone and particular incident kept coming up over and over and over and over and OVER was not#a bug. it was a feature. thank goodness i trust myself for little things now bc that's the only way i was able to get to this other side#and look back and suddenly realize that my subconscious and body knew what they needed and had a plan in progress the whole time. just like#i rationally say I trust them to have and do.#and that perhaps maybe. for real for real instead of just TELLING myself hard enough a lie that i trust my self and i trust my body and tha#they always know their own needs and timing if really slow down and listen to them f u l l y#anyway. yeah. bye haha i need to stop oversharing on the internet#trauma evolution#shh katie#personal#my god. i wished for this day more than i wished for anything else my whole life. all these many many many many years. what magic.#add to journal#abuse
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do yall ever have a friend who's making the stupidest mistake and you can't do anything but watch the inevitable car crash just happen
#nina rambles~✦#like ive told her so many times#dont get with him#but she just keeps getting back with him#and ugh#relationships like these where you go back and back to the person who hurts you is such a vicious cycle#and ive been throught that which is why I'm doing my best to help her out of it#but she's too blinded by his sheer toxic behavior and thinks of it as love#and theres only so much i can do#and this dude just apologized to me#what? Does he think im going to accept his thinly veiled apology?#and hes only apologizing to me beause I'm her best friend#fuck off actually lmao#why apologize to me? im not the one you hurt. but I am the one with the common sense to see right through your bullshit.#do you think if you go 'oh but I've been making amends' that I'm going to turn to my friend and go 'okay never mind he's an amazing guy'#fuck all the way off#okay im done now LMAO
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Saw the Epilogue for Liar Satsuki just now and yeah no, I was coping when I thought it'd make things better. I still can't believe Akira and Satsuki didn't end up together. After EVERYTHING these two have been through together. Komachi is not even slightly as relevant for most of the manga, and you can say what you want about both their abilities tying them together thematically and what not, but frankly the entire manga set it up such that Akira x Satsuki was the obvious choice.
#unma rambles#liar satsuki can see death#usotsuki satsuki wa shi ga mieru#also the dad thing is... fine. Could've been done better if it was given more chapters to breathe#and the way he acted to her still makes me upset thinking about it#so seeing him forgive Satsuki but not acknowledge how much he's hurt her really annoys me#bullshit that things will get better fucking tell your daughter sorry#okay I'm sure he probably says it off screen given it ends on “We need to have a talk” but like#I can't just accept that#but this is just a me thing tbh#at the end of the day it's fine#honestly this is probably the first yuri to leave me so annoyed at its ending#I've read and dropped bad yuri before#not often does it leave me annoyed because I have a high tolerance#but like#wow this is the first time I've been mad at the ending of a love triangle#and part of that is that one side of the love triangle didn't even exist!#it appeared in the last few chapters and suddenly won#it makes no sense from anything but a thematic standpoint#and even then it fucking sucks on that point because Komachi and Satsuki barely interact directly compared to Akira#like if you wanted Satsuki x Komachi to be endgame#YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE DONE SO MUCH TO MAKE THE READERS LIKE SATSUKI X AKIRA#the collective despair of the mangadex comment section upon realizing that this was the ending they were getting#yeah. I felt the same way man#okay that's it. I have things to do. ramble over.#rambling in the tags
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Heroism in TFATWS
Let's establish one thing which is that the show operates in a superhero trope, which means there are good guys and bad guys, and the good guys always win. This is not to say that characters are morally clean-cut between good/bad. The Flag Smashers acted out of good intentions; Walker did want to do good things when he took over the mantle. But that doesn't mean they aren't the bad guys in the story, because a person is not only judged by their intentions but also the means and the ends of those intentions.
Sam and Bucky are the heroes in the story, they beat the bad guys (the Flag Smashers) and saved the world. That's how the story ends. That's how all the superhero stories end.
But the show isn't quite that simple, not in the sense that it deals with moral greys, no. Rather, the show really fucks up the boundaries between good/bad, right/wrong, and by extension, the heroism of the show.
Let's say Karli has some vague cosmopolitan worldview, and let's say that's better than the state system so Sam is justified to sympathize with her cause, and sam is rightfully asking the governments to be better. What's the actual, feasible way to achieve Karli's vision? Nice speeches notwithstanding, Sam isn't offering a solution. States aren't going to abandon the system that made them a state just because some hero dressed in an American flag descends from the sky and tells them to. Forced displacement and/or re-settlement happen because the population distribution is screwed, especially in Western Europe where Karli is from. Those states simply do not have the capacity, spatially and financially, to accommodate all the people while the others would be faced with devastating labour shortages. Statecraft is not just about morals, some IR scholars would even argue it's never about morals, you have to do the rationalist calculation. (also sam's speech to the politicians is so.........wrong. it sounds like a 16-year-old wanna-be socialist who spends too much time on leftist tiktok)
Here's the thing, you can agree with the political ideology or not, because it's not about whether it's right or wrong. It's about Sam being a hero who comes from a heavy political background, who represents a set of values that is meant to transcend a single country, advocating that ideology whilst being completely naive about it.
Steve embodies a similar idealism that makes him a hero, but not a leader. He's a leader because he can lead, he assesses the situation, sets a goal, and gives out tasks to achieve that goal. In the show, Sam is not demonstrating effective leadership, although not entirely his fault.
When you have the 'hero' indiscriminatorily endorsing the villain's philosophy, it doesn't mean the hero is empathetic, it means the hero is fucking bullshit. What makes a hero isn't merely stopping bad guys, it's also offering a better alternative even when the villain kinda makes sense. Superheroes are supposed to offer moral lessons through their heroism, which often takes place as they defeat evil. Without that, they're just dudes stopping fights, not heroes fighting for causes. The only moral lesson Sam offers is 'hey maybe radicalization is bad', which is completely ignored by both Karli and Zemo.
Sam's sympathy towards Karli is even more absurd. Even if he agrees with her cause, she's an unrepentant killer. 'Don't call them terrorists.' really, Sam? What would you call them? Just bc the Soviets fought the N@zis doesn't mean they were the good guys.
Furthermore, we see the contrast between her and the other flag smashers. They were invisible victims while her body was gently carried by Sam as phones and cameras were recording. In a show where they tried to make sense of racism, the stark contrast between Karli and the rest of the group happens to be mostly PoC is kinda hilarious.
The problem isn't Sam. It's the terrible horrible writing. You can't take a Watsonian take when it's so obviously a Doylist problem. The show claims to be a lot of things it got wrong is just pathetic.
What about Bucky? His arc is pretty detached from the main storyline and he basically did nothing significant in the show so I don't even know what they want to convey about his heroism. He was literally just running around punching people (not even very good at it too) while being blamed for things he wasn't responsible for. He only told Karli that killing was bad. What a novel lesson. Again, there is nothing from the good guy.
Who is the hero then?
Zemo is the true anti-hero of the show. Throughout the show, Sam and Bucky - the good guys - oppose killing in general, but their method is proven ineffectual and in the end, all Flag Smashers are killed with a majority of them killed after they were lawfully arrested. The Flag Smashers were terrorists, they were the villains, therefore narratively, this makes Zemo's end goal - killing all supersoldiers, in this case, the Flag Smashers - right. His ideology - the desire to become superhuman cannot be separated from supremacist ideas; supersoldiers cannot be allowed to exist - is positively reflected in the story. His success inevitably justifies his ideology, which stands in contrast to both Sam and Karli. I'm not saying what he did was heroic, but from a storytelling perspective, Zemo is the 'hero' who ultimately eliminated the evil in this superhero trope.
The result is that Sam, the supposed hero of the show, has done nothing. He didn't stop the bad guys, he didn't offer an effective alternative to Karli (or Zemo) practically and ideologically, while Zemo did all that. What does it say about heroism and the idealism that comes with it? That it's nice to talk about but useless when a real battle takes place? That end does justify means? Because that's not what Cap trilogy conveys.
#if you don't agree you don't have to engage. just so you know.#sam wilson#tfatws#bucky barnes#baron zemo#the falcon and the winter soldier#the show is bullshit ok?#cosmopolitanism in itself is controversial#being proposed by captain AMERICA is outright ridiculous#ofc point a gun to ppl's head and force them to leave their home is bad#but it's also too simplistic#just to give her a justification#as long as states exist there will never be free flow of population#not even within the EU not when there's a global crisis#so I'm asking again#dear kari and spellman#how exactly do you propose that to happen?#zemo my man you have done nothing wrong in your entire life xxx#also sam saying 'i'm a black american wearing an amarican flag so i must know all about suffering and discrimination' is just laughable#do the showrunners know that other countries exist????#bro have you lived in a country where you can be arrested for saying all that to a politician?#marvel needs to stay out of politics#for their own good#also I have classmates who were part of the UN peacekeeping troops. painting them as terrorists isn't doing anyone any favour
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I swear to God if RFK comes in and feeds the anti Vax movement and actively tries to undo vaccination requirements and recommendations I will become openly insufferable to EVERYONE I know who is even remotely anti Vax.
I highly expect it from people I work with. I highly suspect it from my own family. This is absolutely the hill I will die on and I will gladly tell those people to fuck off.
#God I'm so fucking angry#And the people who are applauding him#Bc of course they are bc trump said so#They have 0 critical thinking ability#I should be allowed to hunt down people who don't vaccinate their kids or themselves#With a dart gun loaded with vaccines#As a nurse who has to deal with the stupidity of your fucking decisions#It should be my right#Honestly I'm already at the point of telling my family to fuck off and cut ties#Bc of their bullshit#But I will allow an agreed ceasefire for family#If they want to never say anything about the matter with me around then fine#But I better not see the posts either#I still remember after making a post about masking during covid and how it works and is important#My own mother made a post about masking being a lie and a means of control#I immediately called her and told her that it felt like a punch in the fave#She tried to say it was just her opinion but she would delete it#I told her no need because the damage is done and it won't change how I feel#I also called her on the verge of breakdown when I was new to icu and covid was surging again#And the first thing she said was well I just don't think it was that bad#I told her she's wrong it is that bad and that she can't tell me what I did or did not experience#Fuck
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New Transmission The fucking Scientific Instrument Class Pseudocons apparently developed what they're calling "Hetero Sapience" and are corrupting the brainmodules of the non-Pseudo 'cons around them by using annoying xenophilosophy words. Soundwave tells me they're 'Greek' and 'Latin' words, apparently. Cool, I guess? Anyway, if you see any SI Class 'cons causing... issues, just try your hardest to turn your brainmodule off before you start getting infected with their weird lingo, alongside all the other issues pertaining to letting the SI Pseudocons transmit data into your brainmodule in their own weird ways. Thundercracker, on a bet with Starscream, tried to get into an argument with one of them and his head literally exploded when it started talking about Alpha Trion's "Mythological Origins" in its weird dialect. He's mostly fine, CR Pods are working at 'peak' efficiency, but the facial reconstruction is apparently impossible due to some kind of corruption. I thought it was just some weird prank but there weren't even any scorch marks or anything. Just exploded. So yeah, just avoid optical contact and auditory contact to the best of your ability and you should be fine. Otherwise, try to force-shutdown your brainmodule if you can. Shockwave is working on a cure right now, mostly because I know he had something to do with this in the first place so he's going to be the one to fix it. He probably wanted a greater justification to do that weird data-transfer idea he mentioned previously. But it also explains the weird Thunderwing hypotheticals he's been asking me lately... Can I go one fucking cycle without someone trying to "Perfect Thunderwing's Work" or whatever other idiotic drivel that I keep finding our limited energon reserves siphoned into?? It's not even a Shockwave thing, it's like every damn Cybertronian these days thinks they have the "Missing piece of the puzzle" or whatever. In fact, Shockwave might be doing this as a weird threat against the other R&D 'cons to cement himself as the one and only Decepticon "Allowed" to have resources wasted on projects like that. Ugh, now that I think about it, that's probably a correct assumption and he's probably gonna expect me to thank him for it later. Ugh, and he's probably literally right. Ugh. At least his repairs both to himself and to his lab seem to be mostly complete so further research into the SI project should hopefully come along a little faster. Both Shockwave and Soundwave think the SIs could potentially be used as some kind of specialty weapon, but we'll have to see how they work on sparkless lifeforms, like biological lifeforms or xenomechanical lifeforms. The SIs don't seem to corrupt each other, but Shockwave keeps reaffirming that they're not "Sparkless Lifeforms" because they "were never lifeforms to begin with"... but I think he's trying to hide something. Usually Soundwave is the one to pick up on that kind of technological obfuscation, but he actually agreed with Shockwave and offered to send Ratbat to try to work out exactly what each "sapient" SI is now capable of on a personal level. We could have just had regular Cybertronians aboard to fill the role SIs fill. I would've preferred K Class to fill any role an SI could fill in all honesty!! But no, constructing cold wasn't enough, we just had to try to learn how to "Construct Frozen" and the "Absolute Zeroes" just had to be put on my ship. Whatever. I've probably said too much already. This was supposed to be a warning for my ship crew, but it's looking like it'll end up being transcribed on the golden disk as well so when this new Scientific Instruments of Destruction project backfires in some absurdly bombastic way there will at least be something remaining that says I was right. End of Transmission
New Transmission Okay so I was right, but so was Shockwave and Soundwave. Or, well, they were right just enough to make sure the backfire is postponed for at least another handful of cycles. Ratbat is still in CR from the investigation, but the cure Shockwave developed seems to be effective and Thundercracker is out and aiding the repair effort. Shockwave is now in contact with one of the SIs digitally and the other few are... integrating due to the personal efforts of Soundwave. I suppose now would be pertinent to mention not all the SIs developed the "Hetero Sapience" condition, many of them are safe for interaction. Soundwave is also currently monitoring their presence, Ravage is tasked with the regular SIs and Laserbeak is tasked with the "Sapient" SIs. Shockwave probably knows exactly what caused this event but he is preoccupied with the one he no doubt is either indoctrinating or ruthlessly interrogating. Report to Soundwave if you see any suspicious behavior, he has been working very hard to ensure the SIs have their purpose clearly defined (And closely monitored). And, Starscream, stop trying to convince the SIs that you are the leader of this ship. Not only have the majority of your efforts been wasted on subsentient automata, the only one you have actually found who possesses the ability to truly listen to you immediately came to the bridge to complain about you. They were the first sapient SI I communicated with directly and it was because they felt the need to complain about you. I almost feel embarrassed for you. Come back to the bridge so you can apologize to it or so I can teach it how to laugh at you. It's practicing right now actually! This moment of chaos should hopefully be largely under control now, the actual "population" of Scientific Instrument Class Pseudocons was actually quite fewer than initially expected due to an indexing error incorrectly labeling certain shells as SI class. At the very least, we have some more specialty warriors because of it all. End of Transmission EOF
#yippie peace through tyranny!!#nemesis posting#Decepticon High Command Slice of Life rambles#Matrix Visions#I like this “chat” font I think it's cool#spacebridge still needs more time in the oven unfortunately#I'm also procrastinating on that because I can't seem to wrap my head around guestmount but do not want to send backup files one at a time#wegh. It'll get done. Eventually.#I'll have so much more bullshit once I actually finish the damn comic my wife radically altered my life with hehehe#I cannot wait to start posting about Alpharius Trionicon. He's the fucking worst if you couldn't tell by name alone and I love him so much#Anyway I just had a very specific joke/pun in my head in the shower then it turned into a whole *thing* like it usually does.#I usually don't explain shit but the shower idea centered around getting the SI acronym to work for hyper specific jokes.#Still can't decide if I want to lock in on “Scientific Instrument” because it fits *so well* for *so many reasons*#But “Synthetic Intelligence” is more generic in a more understandable way... Eeh.. It's a little *too* generic. “Instrument” is cooler.#Once my wife helps me understand her lil fucker more I'll come up with an even shitter joke using “Y/N” so I can do Y/N x SI x SI bullshit!#Oh! The matrix triune project is coming along slowly as well!! I think I mentioned that microphone project once or twice now hehe#I'm gonna make so many shitty covers of songs once I get the soundproofing to start focusing on vocal training stuff#It's been quite a fun time aboard the nemesis!! There's so much to “Blog” about that it's hard to really know when to start *or* stop hehe!#And the fact that all these projects are all interwoven is so fucking wonderful!! I FINALLY feel able to fully grasp my own focus!!#My brain is like a particle collider for certain interests now. I can reliably just.. Spit things out and tie it into the other interests!#It's sometimes exhausting but in such a new way. Like a relieving exhaustion?#Still figuring that part out!!#Anyway that's enough personal project vagueposting I should really be getting back to work hehe this was fun
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I’ve seen some people say “Well, Ms. Bustier’s class has met a lot of famous people, even some of their classmates are celebrities, so the things that Lila said wouldn’t really seem like too much of a stretch.” and you know what? Fair enough.
When you take into account everything that these kids have seen and all of the celebrities that they’ve met, it’s not entirely unbelievable that Lila would’ve too.
However, even if you do get past the absurd idea that they would all believe every single thing she says. Even to the extent of believing her word over everyone else’s, including Marinette’s, who is arguably the most well meaning student in the entire class despite her own issues. That still leaves one problem:
If they really are just kind of used to it by now, to the point where they believe these things without question. Then why are they so enthralled by everything Lila says?
Yeah it’s still cool, but they’re all constantly surrounding her and hanging on to her every word as though the very concept of someone knowing this many famous people is just absolutely mind blowing to them.
Ultimately, it doesn’t really matter and I’m just getting upset over something that happened a long time ago. But I just wanted to get this off my chest.
This show is going to be the death of me.
Anyway, happy 4 year anniversary of Chameleon being released.
#honestly I don't even hate lila anymore#I'm just mad that anything interesting they could've done with her was ruined by all the bullshit they had to pull to get her to this point#lila rossi#miraculous#miraculous ladybug#ml#ml salt#lila salt#chameleon salt#ml chameleon#miraculous season 3#ml spoilers#miraculous spoilers#miraculous season 3 spoilers#chameleon salt train#media analysis#cartoon analysis
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"Never apologize for putting stupid in its place."
- t.
#my sister-in-law tracey said this to me in a message last night in regards to me snapping on my dad at her and her husband's#football watch party friday night#i posted about how i didnt feel sorry for it but i did feel sorry that it may have made shit weird for everyone else#her and my brother messaged me separately to not only tell me it was okay but to say they were glad i said something and they#were very happy i had come over and they hoped i had had a good time otherwise 😭#i very rarely snap at my dad - and when i do it's more passive and never in public - so this was different for me#but i'm beyond done allowing him to say whatever offensive shit he wants#be it transphobic or racist or just shit-talking my mom (one of the worst of his many offenses)#i don't think i even said much but the fact that i said anything at all instead of A. ignoring him or B. leaving the situation myself was#apparently very welcome and THIS is one of the many reasons jim (my brother) and tracey (his wife) are some of my favorite family members#maison speaks#note: i have spent my life afraid of my dad and that hasn't changed much even in my 30s but my patience is so goddamn thin when it#comes to bullshit and like.. i dont live with him. i don't depend on him at all. sometimes he gives me money and i appreciate it#but it's not like.. a necessity#so what's he gonna do?? the only power dude has over me still is the remaining fear and panic#but i'm backed up by people now#so#everything will be okay#probably lmao
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As much fun as I'm having doing my alternative run of DA2, one thing I really miss about my mage Hawke is his friendship with Merrill.
Those two are best friends and he's 100% supportive in her goals toward the eluvian. Ed has the humorous/charming personality, too, which bounces off super well with Merrill. He doesn't think any less of her for her usage of blood magic; if anything he's impressed by her level of strength and willpower. He's so ready to defend her from the other companions and the clan, and he's absolutely out here attempting to matchmake her and Carver....at least he is in my heart because the game won't let me, it's fine, I'm not bitter about it or anything-
But then my warrior Hawke? She has the diplomatic personality with quite a bit of direct/aggressive thrown in there and she ends up having the same attitude as that one party banter Aveline and Merrill have: "Merrill, you're clearly talented and meant for great things, but you're stupid," and that's so difficult for me to lean into. I'm trying to play Aris differently so she ends up being so condescending to Merrill, like she's trying to gently tell her to give up on the eluvian but it doesn't come off well.
Also if Carver was around, Aris would be the opposite of Ed, she'd look at the suggestion of her brother and Merrill getting together and be like, "No :) I don't think so :) I like Merrill, she's my friend :) but she's not right for Carver."
But I guess it makes sense; if you told him that Bethany would giggle and kick her feet and twirl her hair around Sebastian, Ed would've thrown him in the ocean as a warning. Meanwhile, Aris is like, "A handsome prince that could take my sister away from all of this? Wonderful, we just need to work on his incorrect views on mages, but that shouldn't be a problem :)"
Anyway I miss playing Hawke as the #1 Merrill stan.
#dragon age 2#da2#da2 merrill#carver hawke#bethany hawke#sebastian vael#da2 hawke#edgar hawke#aris hawke#listen i'm a little weirdo i like comparing the different ways to play the heroes of da games but especially the different hawkes#i like comparing my own hawkes and i like looking at other peoples hawkes and the different relationship dynamics they bring to the table#kicks my little gremlin brain into gear#like ed always rivals aveline and their relationship is strained at best... meanwhile aris and aveline are ride or die best friends#and seeing aveline from both perspectives is....... well it's an experience i'll just say that sksksks#oh also i miss anders so much sksksk i miss his romance and the dynamic he and ed have#aris rejected him right from the start and while it's neat to see her character through an unromantic lens i still miss him and his bullshi#aris romanced isabela and *that* makes me want to bite nom nom so interesting and heartbreaking in its own way like losing leandra like tha#and then dealing with the qunari bullshit only to find out isabela's part in it before she abandons aris with the book#and then aris reunites with bethany who is bitter and pissed off and can't get away from her fast enough like........ the end of act 2 y'al#aris was *ready* for the arishok fight solely because she needed an outlet for her frustration and grief and agony#she couldn't kick his ass fast enough sksksksks and now she's so Done with everything and then isabela admits that she's in love with her#and it's just................. a lot. it's so much. i can't#anders and isabela's respective romances drive me nuts for very different reasons i love them#this has been another 'cj needs to ramble about [blank]' post#stay tuned for next week where she continues to sob about the hawke twins
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it happened so early in the morning and i am STILL frothing with rage over this text my boss sent me
#unreasonable unbelievable targeting me bullshit like what is your problem what is your PROBLEM#are you punishing me preemptively for telling you i'm going back to school? LOL? cuz sure That makes me wanna stay!#i am splitting so viciously on her right now and i can't even care to wish i wasn't#this was the last fucking straw mentally for me on Trusting This Boss#and i sure as shit can't trust the one above her#i am soooo mad i am so mad i am so mad i am so mad#i just want to be transferred out already and start part time work somewhere else NOW#if i can leave earlier i fucking will#i will be without insurance for a bit but i can try to get on some fast#i just. ooh! ooooh!!!! you little fucker!!!!!!!!#i cannot trust a single person in the front of the building anymore#and i have to sit next to my least favorite person in the back now#and i am just. utterly miserable right now i am Miserable at this job that isn't even as bad as it could be#but holy shit the petty condescending bullshit is driving me fucking up the wall#i can't look at any of them!!!! without feeling intense hatred!!!!#i have no social life outside of work and i can't talk to ANYONE there about this because it'd just find its way back to her!!!!#i can't tell HR because it's not that serious! except it's driving my mental health into a tailspin!#but i still can't tell anyone!!!!!!!! because what proof do i have that she's singling me out!#even tho she has NEVER FUCKING DONE THIS TO OR ABOUT OTHER PPL#i can't Prove that and i sure as shit can't sit down with her and talk to her about my feelings#no job is ever fucking safe to do that in#i just want to walk into a river honestly like i need work so i can pay for college but i wanna be in college already and be Out of here#i just wanna skip to the END of college when i'm actually able to be a nurse and i can feel less like the butt monkey at work#i hate hate HATE being at the bottom of the totem pole i am literally nothing there even though they need me to function#but oh my gd the Looks people give me when i walk in a room like they expect bad news or to be annoyed#sorry for asking questions! would you rather i fuck up and you have to clean up the mess?#i clean up everyone else's messes all day!#they ARE going to feel it when i am not there anymore#you'd think they wouldn't be such cunts to me now but Nope. nope! almost All cunts.#i am so fucking angry at my boss in particular though that text fucking triggered rage i haven't felt in months
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so my sister is getting me to watch Cobra Kai while I'm visiting home, right
and look. She warned me about the love square. The old man rivalry. All that good stuff. What she did not warn me of, or rather, was not equipped to warn me of(she's never played DR), was the fact that Mondo Owada is a main fucking character
#desperately hoping Hawk does not go the Mondo way and like. die or something#I'm mid-season 3 btw so no spoilers plz :)#but anyway yeah! I'm liking it so far#I think Johnny is my fav rn. Johnny is developing so well he's such a broken man of a protag it's delightful#I can see this 'toxic masculinity to fill the insecurities' thing they've got going with Hawk and. *chef's kiss*#crane-talk#also um. Hawk and Demetri are ex-boyfriend coded#“you're actually gonna hurt me?” “Eli stop it's me!" stop fucking stop it#they were each other's first kiss at one of their sleepovers#ALSO HI WHERE TF DID AISHA GO#she was one of my favs and she just fucking dissipated#yes ik 'she moved away' shut up and let your only black woman be a main character do not get lazy and toss her out when you can't think of#anything for her to do. She has been here since day 1 you're seriously gonna tell me they couldn't keep her in at all? Bullshit#surely they could've had her take a central stance between the increasing aggression of Cobra Kai and Miyagi Do's attempts to stand up for#themselves. And used that to demonstrate that the people within Cobra Kai aren't just doomed to become monsters#like Sam (and Hawk) seem to believe right now#really hoping she's coming back later and that this is being done with a purpose
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Holy fuck I just finished Attack on Titan and Jesus Christ did Mikasa get the short end of the stick
#i know i know#I'm so far behind but at least it's done now#seriously though#the rest of the gang got a little epilogue that sums up what they're doing/done#even Historia who hasn't really been present for a while#and Mikasa gets a tiny thumbnail during credits where the only thing you can really make out is her body at the end of her life#I'm actually so mad about it#don't get me started on how she spent her whole life pining after the toxic ass shit head that is Eren Jaeger#but to know that SHE ends up being the reason for everything Ymir does because of her love for Eren#and then doesn't even get a proper ending? bullshit#i would have been happier if it had ended just after she walked off into the desert#after Armin talks down the Marleyan commander#fade to black roll credits#but that's my own personal opinion I guess#spoilers#attack on titan#aot#mikasa ackerman#deserved better
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I literally just opened youtube and the first video I saw was "Ten reasons why I hate Serena" 🤨 Like firstly why would you even recommend that to me youtube?? If you really knew me (based on what I watch) you'd know she is my precious baby. And secondly how could anyone even possibly hate her??!! 😧😠 Just get that shit away from me now 😂
#i don't even wanna watch to see the reasons cause they're all going to be total bullshit#she's one of the best if not the best characters in the whole show's history#like i would get it if her whole character was just her crushing her ash for the whole time#but she's so much more than that!!#did not they watch her character arc??#and see how she went from staying at home doing fuck all to realising her dream and fucking doing her absolute best to achieve it??#and the whoke hair cut scene just sums all it up how much she goes for it!!#i just know the vid would probably be taking about how obssessed she is with ash like it's a bad thing and makes her 2 dimensional#or some crap like that#but they clearly didn't watch the show properly#or just bitterly ship another ship and hate amourshipping#but even to hate serena as a character just because you don’t ship them is absolute nonsense and unfair to a truly beautiful character#anyway i'm done now#as you can tell i feel very strongly about this lol#i'm the founder of the serena defence squad#and ready to throw hands with anyone disrespecting my girl 😤#pokemon#amourshipping#serena pokemon
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