#and the way he acted to her still makes me upset thinking about it

[thetadispatcher]

"Oh, right, three. I'm sorry." Peter had trouble keeping where most of the androids came from straight, but he tried his best as he didn't want to accidentally offend them. But that still didn't stop him from making mistakes on occasion that he felt he'd have to make up for, even if most of the androids understood that he was only human and an odd one at that.

"They're easier to care for as they need far less work. I can't say for sure if they deviate, but I'd have to say probably. It's just less noticeable as they still act like the animal they're based on. BeeBee is harmless though, sure she was aggressive to begin with, but that was just because Zlatko mutilated her and kept her locked up. She calmed down after I got her fixed back up, think she just needed proof I wasn't going to hurt her before she'd let her guard down." He didn't blame the URS12 for her initial aggression, she'd been through a very traumatic experience and was just acting accordingly as she didn't know he wasn't there to hurt her.

Peter brought his hand to his mouth, sticking two fingers in his mouth and let out a sharp, short whistle. He knew G and BeeBee should be inside as Dan had likely taken Strasky for a walk around the property to calm him down, meaning Dan would take over watching for anything suspicious and G would take BeeBee inside for a break.

He lowered his hand as he heard the sound of claws rapidly clicking on the floor that were heading for the basement. He turned as BeeBee came to a halt in front of the room and sat down, chuffing and shaking her head. Peter motioned for her to enter the room as he knew she was waiting for permission. She quickly got up and jogged over to him, getting up on her hind legs as Daniel moved out of the way. She rubbed her nose against his as she made a purring sound, using her front legs to nudge him onto the ground, allowing her easier access to rub against him.

"They are furry, and BeeBee is just as fluffy as a polar bear should be. She usually is with G as he patrols the property, pretty good deterrent for anyone looking to cause trouble." Peter explained as he ruffled her neck. "She's not gonna hurt anyone unless given the command to do so, other then that she's a sweet heart." He gently coaxed her down so he could stand up again as Brent left the room to fetch more finished parts.

"Yeah, but don't point it out to them, they don't like that and I found that out the hard way." Not that it bothered him as he didn't get in trouble for the fight, the group had attacked him first and he had merely defended himself. He was just warned not to call out anymore protestors or acknowledge them if they tried to talk to him.

"Oh, nothing else. The computers should be it as we haven't come across any issues that can't be easily fixed." Sure they were still working on the space, but so far he couldn't name anything else that was obviously wrong that needed to be replaced.

"I don't, but I'm fine with it." He didn't understand why it was so important to the android, but he knew he needed to address Dan's overbearing protectiveness before it worsened.

"Maybe, but I wouldn't blame her if she still wanted nothing to do with me. I did threaten to kill her and jump off the roof with her, even held her out when the RK800 showed up to talk me down." Daniel wouldn't hold it against Emma if she never wanted to see him again after what he'd done to her. "And I find it interesting to deal with someone who's neurodivergent verses one that was perfectly normal." He didn't mind the change, in fact he found it to be a fun learning experience.

"He also really didn't want to be there as his goal was finding me, and being stuck on a rusty ship wasn't helping him accomplish that. And then to be dragged along occasionally or just hearing them planning something just added to his hatred of being there." Peter knew Dan understood it was best he hide as a deviant, but that didn't stop him from being upset about it.

"And finally reuniting with me and finding I lost an eye didn't do him any favors mentally. He deviated because he thought I was dead and had to find out if I was okay, so finding out I actually could've died well he was in the same city as me... Messed him up. I'm gonna see if we can fix that, he's getting very over protective because of that."

"There's three." the android corrected, "Three of us remain on the property."

"What's the point of android animals?" Rook asked, "Do they deviate too? Are they fuzzy at least? Can I pet BeeBee?"

"Rook."

"I want to pet a bear, Willow!"

Willow rolled her eyes, "Yes, the belief that the evil machines are stealing jobs is a myth that only serves the corporations. Unfortunately, most humans are too dense to understand they're considered on par with any other piece of equipment, thus are just as easily replaced by whatever is more cost effective."

So, trying to get the computers out of storage through semi legitimate means was most likely a lost cause. Willow resorted to sending a text instead. "Would you like to have everything delivered to this room?"

"I'm glad you understand now." It still didn't explain why Bishop specifically wanted his counterpart to fail, but that wasn't relevant to the android's argument as to why he felt the need to prevail.

It was a reasonable question, as far as he was concerned.

"Sometimes kids don't know better. Maybe she'll come around when she grows up and starts thinking with her brain." Rook told Daniel, "It's good that you found yourself new people to hang out with, even if one of them speaks in riddles— You've got something to add, Willow?"

"Oh, I was just thinking that Dan was right about most of Jericho's plans."

[ahgasegotarmy116]

BANG-ABLE | Jeon Jungkook | Drabble 4

Summary: You get upset when you see other girls flirting with Jungkook but he always makes sure that you know you're the only one he wants Pairing: f!reader x Sex Bot Jungkook Word Count: 2.1k~ Warnings: Smuttttt hehe Requested by an anon 💜

"So yeah I was thinking maybe we could hang out sometime? My friends and I are going out on Friday a-" "Can I come?" I ask, cutting off the woman at the coffee shop that's decided to chat up Jungkook.

I swear I leave his man alone for five minutes and he's already got a line of woman drooling over him.

"Um I'm sorry...who are you?" she asks, scoffing as if she owns him and I'm the one that's imposing. "She's my girlfriend" he says and pulls me in by my hips, kissing me in front of her to make a point leaving her turning her face in disgust.

"Way to lead a girl on" she huffs and walks off.

"Not his fault that you couldn't take a hint Honey" I call after her, telling myself I can't keep bringing him out with me when I'm in the wrong headspace.

I just wanted some company though...plus Ava was busy so I didn't have much of a choice.

"Hi Baby" Jungkook says, coaxing my focus back over to him. "Hi" I grumble, crossing my arms over my chest, clearly still upset making him smile.

"I don't know why you let them talk to you" I huff and sit down at the table he had gotten us with him sliding in across from me, lacing our fingers together and placing a kiss on my knuckles.

"Because I like seeing that look on your face. Plus I know you get satisfied when you see their reactions, knowing that you have something they want but couldn't get even if they tried" he reminds me but it's not good enough to get me out of this bad mood, not today.

"I would rather you just ignored them or told them you have a girlfriend" I huff for what feels like the twelfth time but it doesn't seem to bother him.

"You know I hardly ever get to interact with people besides you and Ava, just think of it as research" he explains leaving me cocking a brow and echoing the last word.

"Yeah you know, I get to be outside of the four walls of our home and learn how to evolve and treat you better and you get peace of mind because you know I'd never want anyone else but you" he continues leaving me sighing, knowing he really doesn't get the chance to get out much and observe the world.

His patterns and behaviors do switch up a bit every time I bring him out with me so I have to admit that it does make things seem less monotonous, makes him feel real.

I just don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing...

"Come on" he says and gets up, waiting for me to follow and I do so cautiously. "I'm not gonna hurt you or anything" he laughs. "I just know you're not gonna enjoy being here anymore after what happened so let's just go for a walk" he offers, holding out his hand for me and so I resign to his idea and take it, allowing him to lead the way.

Our walk is quiet, contemplative even and it leaves him debating on whether or not to ask me what's wrong when he can infer the answer already, or at least part of it.

"I'm sorry" he says and pulls me aside to a more secluded area, gaining us a little more privacy. "I know you're just acting on your programing but I'm just not in the best headspace right now" I admit, having let my emotions simmer under the surface for a while now, leaving him placing a kiss on my forehead, a further expression of his apologetic state.

"You wanna talk about it?" he ask, cupping my face but not making me look at him, knowing I'd rather have a second to debate on if I'm ready to yet. I decidedly shake my head, realizing I'm not and he hums, not pushing it further, knowing that although in an area hidden from most of the people surrounding us this is not a place for uncomfortable conversations.

"Can I kiss you?" he asks, now bringing my face back over to his, stroking my cheek and giving me a sad smile, thinking it might make me feel better and so I nod, accepting his request.

He places his lips against mine, the first time he's done so since we left the house, knowing that public displays of affection tend to make me a little uncomfortable at times. This time the kiss feels different though, I can feel the intensity growing with every meeting, a familiar fluttering felt deep within me.

"Jungkook wait" I gasp, the need for air almost forgotten, trailing his lips down my neck as a compromise but not ceasing his efforts to convey how much he wants me.

"Jungkook someone could see us" I reprimand him half heartedly, tilting my head to the side automatically, my body going through the same song and dance we've done time and time again. "Don't worry, I'll be able to sense them coming" he says, alerting me to another one of his features that I had yet to discover.

"You mean to tell me you have sensors that'll alert you if someone is coming just so we can have sex in public?" I scoff, pushing him off of me so I can see his face, needing to know if he's lying or not. "Well...yeah" he says as if it's the most normal thing in the world...news flash, nothing is normal with him.

"What have I gotten myself into?" I sigh, closing my eyes and rubbing my temples giving him the opportunity to come in closer again, placing his hands on my hips and continuing his onslaught of kisses, no doubt leaving a mark or two.

"Let me make you feel good. Just for a little bit, yeah?" he asks, no doubt sensing my arousal that's starting to leak out. "Are you sure you'll know before someone sees?" I ask after contemplating it for a second and he nods, his kisses now on my collarbone, threatening to go lower.

"I know you want to" he temps and I can't ignore that I do. We both know that this would help improve my mood just a little bit so I don't blame his programing for coming up with this solution. My resigning sigh replaced by a whine, him biting down on my collarbone to make me answer sooner.

"Think you can make me cum in three minutes?" I ask, challenging his abilities when I know for a fact that he can. "I don't need three minute doll" he chuckles and slides his hand from my waist to my hip to my thigh and slips it up my skirt, taking his time to tease me making me groan from impatience.

"Come on, let me take my time with you" he rasps in my ear, playing with the elastic of my underwear. "We don't have time" I remind him but he snaps it back making me jump from the surprise abuse to my hip.

"We have plenty of time" he counters and places a kiss below the shell of my ear, his fingers now changing course and trailing their way to my inner thigh, soon rubbing me through my thong, the damp spot on it undeniable making me mewl at the sensation.

"Jungkook please" I whine, fed up with the teasing so he relents this time, pushing it to the side and running his finger through my folds, catching me off guard when it starts to vibrate against me, placing my hand over my mouth, preventing the moan that was about to come out from being completely audible to any passerby, no matter if they can see us or not.

He dips a finger inside of me, rubbing his thumb against my clit, kicking up the buzzing sensation, making me whimper, the pleasure bubbling up sooner than I had expected.

I had no fucking idea he could do this, the vibrating abilities seemingly hidden from me for a moment like this, when he knows I need to cum hard and fast, voyeurism not being one of my kinks...yet.

"Fuck, Jungkook. Please" I gasp, the intensity of his fingers enough to tip me over but when he kneels down in front of me I about lose it there. His mouth attaching to me immediately, his tongue exploring my cunt and making my eyes roll back, my throat gone completely dry.

I lace my fingers through his hair and pull at his locks, the balance against the tree not being enough for me anymore as he throws one of my legs over his shoulder, granting him better access, his slurping against me making my eyes roll back, forbidden sounds from him making me lose my sense of sanity, forgetting where we are.

Once he places his vibrating thumb on my clit again I'm gone, cumming harder than I have in a while, the intensity of it leaving my knees weak, threatening to make me fall to them.

Once he's stopped licking me clean, the mewls from overstimulation heard loud and clear he gets out from under my dress and smirks at me, clearly satisfied with the work he's done. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, not bothering to try to clean up properly, getting off his knees and pressing his lips against mine again, the taste of myself of his lips enough to make me wet again.

I hear a scoff from behind Jungkook and I bite down on his lip in surprise, backing away from him, him not flinching at all with the lack of feeling absent from his robotic state. "This is a public park you freaks" the same woman from the coffee shop reprimands us, mortified by the scene she happened upon.

"Had to make it up to her for earlier" he shrugs leaving her scoffing once more, her obvious favorite form of response and storming out. Her cheeks now tinted a dark pink from sheer embarrassment, but no doubt mixed with anger.

Jungkook chuckles and turns back to me, expecting my reaction to be just as amused as his but I'm mad. More than mad I'm furious.

"You said you'd be able to stop before someone got close enough to see us!" I growl through gritted teeth making him coo at my now humiliated reaction. "What? I figured it would be best to show her who I'm really interested in, and clearly belong to" he says and pulls me in by my hips with me reluctantly dragging my feet all the way.

"Love you" he chuckles, infuriating me further. "I hate you" I counter and he laughs, "I'm sure you do" he replies and turns to walk away from me making me chase after him.

"Hey! I'm not done talking to you" I call out, trying to yank him to stop but of course it doesn't work, his strength unparalleled leaving me again dragging behind him awkwardly sighing before interlinking our arms to keep him close on this suddenly crowded sidewalk, people no doubt coming out to watch the sunset, me completely disregarding that replaced by my anger towards him.

"Let's just go home, we can continue our conversation there" he chuckles leaving me now being the one to scoff, muttering curses towards him to myself, his hearing impeccable, never being able to hide even the slightest whisper.

"Yes but I'm your dumb fucking robot, emphasis on the fucking" he says, his corny try of making me smile unsuccessful, leaving me rolling my eyes, the reaction although not initially expected making him the one who's smiling as a result.

"I love you" he tries again but is met with silence, "Oh Jungkook I love you too, you know exactly how to eat me out just right. Oh please won't you do it again?" he says in literally my voice, yet another feature hidden from me.

"Shut up!" I growl making him laugh, my clear surprise to it thoroughly amusing.

"Didn't you read the manual? I'm surprised you haven't asked me about my other features besides the basics of replicating human sex" he says, loud enough for just anyone to hear but luckily we're out of earshot. "I thought it was pretty self explanatory" I say in a hushed tone after placing my hand over his mouth, him licking it as a result making me withdraw it immediately.

"What? 'How to fuck your robot' wasn't interesting enough for you?" he chuckles, using the term Ava and I made up for said manual. "Just shut up and get in the car" I groan and he thankfully does as he's told, telling me everything he can do in very, very explicit detail all the way home.

"You wanna try some of them out" he temps, sliding his hand along my thigh once we pull up to the house. "NO!" I growl and get out of the car, slamming the door leaving a very very satisfied Jungkook to follow behind.

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[hypnzo]

Hii! Can you do how the 7 (Percy,Annabeth, Frank, hazel, Leo, Jason, and piper) would react to you crying/ feeling down?

Thank you🫶🫶

Comfortable warmth of your hands and voice ; “I'm here.”

Warning!! : The characters may not exactly react accurately like this, there might be possible mischaracterization.

Percy Jackson would immediately notice that something was up with you. Your face was flushed, your eyes looked a bit red and he swore his mind wasn't playing tricks on him when he saw those dried tear marks on your face.

He'd probably go insane but he bottled it up, letting it simmer below the surface while he fixated his attention on you, comforting you, and trying to ask you what happened.

He'd be there for you, holding your hand in his while his thumb moves along your knuckle which gave you a soothing and grounding comfort to lean on, while also giving you with the knowledge that he was right there and doesn't plan on going anywhere anytime soon.

“Hey, what happened? Are you hurt? You were crying, weren't you? Talk to me, angel.”

Annabeth Chase would notice it immediately, feeling skeptical whenever you'd tell her that you were fine and it was just nothing. She didn't really believe you especially when she heard sniffling for the past few minutes—it didn't really help much when she sees your face looking a bit red.

She'd be worried and if anyone had made you feel this way, she was not going to let it slide. Though, she'd be focused on keeping you calm and feeling comforted first before you guys would get to that topic. If it was a sensitive thing for you to talk about in the moment of vulnerability, she'd give you the time to calm down first while she offers comfort through her action and words.

“Something's wrong, I know it. What happened? Something is clearly making you upset and I'm not about to just let that slide.”

Frank Zhang would drop everything he's doing when he senses any hints of you feeling down. You've been unusually quiet—you looked dull, out of energy, your eyes look like they've been so exhausted and you refused to keep eye contact with him. It confused him but he was alarmed of what was happening. He'd thread carefully with caution in order not to trigger you about anything while he holds you close, ensuring that you'd get the comfort that you are needing.

He'd wait for you to tell him what exactly was making you feel so down. He wanted to be there for you at your lowest and he gently insisted that you didn't need to tell him anything at the moment if you feel like it's too much for you to do. He'd stay there with you, pressing a kiss on your temple, and holding you in his arms.

“Is something bothering you? You've been awfully quiet lately. I'll be here for you, okay?”

Hazel Levesque would notice you feeling under the weather when you acted a little off. Her hugs would be sweet and grounding. She didn't push it and waited until you'd say something to her. But when she witnessed you cry, seeing tears fall out of your eyes, she immediately ran to your side, tucking your hair behind your ears while she listened and waited as you cried your eyes out.

She'd give you a hug, offering words of comfort, holding your hand, anything you'd feel comfortable for her to do. It's a grounding feeling that lets you know you didn't have to face it all alone because she'd be there with you, holding your hand in hers.

“Are you okay? I can tell something is bothering you.. Do you want to talk about it?”

Leo Valdez would take a bit of a minute to realize, but it doesn't mean his skepticism wasn't bubbling inside. You told him you just had a cold and you were still recovering from it, hiding away your teary-eye while you aniffled.

He didn't want to push it out of you, but his concern was gnawing at him. He went to you, trying to cheer you up, to get a smile out of you. He patted your shoulder with a grin but concern flooded his eyes.

He'd be there for you, trying to listen, cracking up jokes whenever he thinks the mood is ready for it, but he's quick to shut it down if you told him to. He stayed right there while you ranted your heart out.

“Alright, something is clearly bothering you. What's up? Oh, right, the sky! ...Okay, that was a bad joke. Sorry. But really, what's wrong?”

Jason Grace tends to you delicately, trying not to say anything that might trigger your vulnerability. He threads carefully, choosing the right words he has in mind to offer the comfort you need. He doesn't want to make it worse than it already is and so he decided to just sit there and listen to you cry, a bit unsure on what to do.

But soon enough, he lets you bawl your eyes out on his shoulder. You could feel the warmth of his palms and his thumb brushing against the fabric of your shirt.

“Just let it all out. ...I'm here if you need someone, okay? Just.. let out everything you're feeling, I don't plan on going anywhere.”

Piper McLean understands it almost immediately. She could sense that something was bothering you. You were trying to brush it off as nothing which only lead to unusual quietness coming from you. It was the kind of quietness that Piper heard—the kind of sound that Piper immediately went to.

She'd plop herself down beside you and just soaking in the silence with you. If you asked her why she was there, she wouldn't respond at first, holding your hand as if to bring you back to reality, to let you know that you weren't exactly alone in that sorrowful silence,

Because she's willing to go there with you, to bathe in it for as long as you needed if it meant letting you know that someone was there for you and it would be her.

“No reason. I can tell something is bothering you. You don't need to tell me about it if you don't feel like it. But.. If you need an ear or just a presence to be there, I'm here.”

[queen-of-the-avengers]

More Than Meets The Eye

Pairing: Bartender!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~3.7k

Warnings: fluff

Summary: Natasha stays over for a few days and kicks up drama for you and Bucky. She makes you realize that there is more than meets the eye when it comes to Bucky Barnes.

One in a Million Series

Square Filled: day-in-the-life (2024) for @buckybarnesbingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

x

Natasha is usually very pristine and professional. She is widely known across the state as one of the best realtors the business has ever seen. She has clients who go for multi-million dollar homes, and she scores nearly every single sale she gets. If she acts out in public, it can largely affect her business, so she tends to keep to herself.

Not when she has alcohol in her system.

Like tonight. She’s in a fling with a musician who she only needs whenever she’s stressed, but it works for both of them. There aren’t any strings attached and they can still get their work done without the stress of a relationship. Natasha turns into a whole other person when she’s drunk. The slut in her comes out and she becomes even more bold. She’s normally shy and reserved.

Not tonight.

Whenever the musician is in town, he tends to stay at her place since he’s only in town for a few days. She texted you twenty minutes ago from a club downtown where the musician is playing. Clubs are not your thing but you’re there when she needs you. After checking in at the door, you push your way inside where there is a sea of people on the dancefloor.

You’re standing on a ledge that overlooks the club. You can either go upstairs where there are more private areas for people just enjoying the music with some drinks while the party is downstairs. From where you are, you can see Natasha and the musician on the other side of the bar.

“Natasha!” You yell even though you know she won’t hear you. You push your way through the sea of people, trying to ignore the hot sweaty bodies bumping into you. “Natasha!”

She turns when she hears her name. “Thank God, you’re here.”

“What’s going on?”

“I caught him with another woman in my bed! My bed!”

“You were gone. I have needs. What do you want me to do?” the musician groans.

“That’s my apartment, asshole! I want your shit out now!”

“I leave in three days. You get it back then.”

You can’t believe how he’s acting but you really don’t want to do this here and now. You grab her arm and pull her toward you. “Come on, he’s not worth it.”

“He’s at my apartment. I don’t want to go back there,” she groans.

“You can stay with me. Come on. Let’s get out of here.”

She’d be more upset if she didn’t just have nearly eight shots earlier. Thankfully, she listens to you and leaves the club with you. Your car is in a gas station parking lot since there wasn’t any parking near or at the club.

“He’s not worth it, Nat.”

“I know, but still. It’s like I’ve got no game lately. All I want is a nice man who will take care of me.”

“Well, you got me.”

She wraps an arm around your shoulder. “I do have you. You’re my best friend.”

“I love drunk you,” you giggle. Ten minutes pass and you’re at your place. In the elevator ride up, you think about what the guys might be doing. “So, listen, the guys are home and I don’t need you to be all sexual and grabby like I know you get.”

“Got it,” she nods.

“I’m serious, Nat. Best behavior.”

“I hear you. Best behavior,” she grins.

“Wait here.” You open the door and walk inside. Bucky is playing video games, Steve is trying to read a book, and Sam is blowing straw wrappers at Steve. Some of them hit him and others fly on his book or lap. “Hey, guys. I have Natasha with me, and it looks like she’s going to stay with us for a few days.” Steve perks up at Natasha’s name. “Just letting you know, she is very drunk and she’s very bold and loose with her body. I am so sorry for whatever she might try on you guys.”

You open the front door and Natasha walks in with a sly smirk on her face.

“Natasha. Wow, you look amazing,” Steve says, forgoing his book altogether.

“Thanks, baby,” she grins.

“Okay, you can sleep on the couch tonight, and we’ll figure something out tomorrow. Let me get you some blankets and a pillow.”

You leave her with the guys and walk into your room. Seconds later, you hear the stereo turn on and loud music is blasted. You sigh knowing this was a possibility but hoped it wasn’t going to happen. When you walk into the living room, you see Natasha, Steve, and Sam dancing along to the music. Bucky is still on the couch, clearly not wanting any part of this.

“Natasha, you should really get some sleep.”

“Dance first! Bucky, come on!”

“I’m okay, really. I’m going to go to bed.”

She shimmies her way over to Bucky who stands up. She pulls him into her body, and he tries to politely get her off him.

“Natasha, come on. He doesn’t want to dance.” She lets him go and he slips by her easily. He looks at you as he passes but doesn’t say anything else. It looks like she won’t be sleeping anytime soon, so you put the blankets and pillows on the couch. “Okay, I’m going to bed. Keep it down in here, please.”

Ten minutes after you leave, Natasha starts to grow tired. Steve jumps at the chance to take her to bed even though he’s not going to do anything with her. He’s a gentleman and that won’t change even if she is intoxicated. He really likes her and if he wants to be with her, he’s going to have to show him he’s not just some fling she’s used to.

“Come on, let me show you to my bed.”

Steve wraps a strong arm around her waist and guides her to his bedroom. She flops onto the bed face first and is out like a light. Steve looks around and grabs a small blanket before draping it over her body. He joins Sam back in the living room and plops down on the couch with a grin.

“Why are you grinning?”

“She’s in my bed. I overheard some conversations she and Y/N have had. All she’s ever had are flings, so I’m going to show her that I can be the gentleman she needs.”

“Yeah, because that’s a way to get a girl into bed,” Sam laughs.

“Just you wait, Sam. It’ll happen.”

In the morning, you wake to Bucky nursing his second cup of coffee. Steve is sleeping on the couch which means Natasha must be in his bedroom.

“Good morning, Bucky.”

“Hey, Y/N.”

“Is that all you’re having for breakfast?” Bucky shrugs and you shake your head. “Not acceptable. You’re a growing man. You need proper food. I’ll make you some.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Nonsense. I want to. Do you like eggs? Pancakes? Waffles?”

“No, Y/N, I’m fine.”

“Eggs and bacon it is,” you smile. “You can have some with me. Plus, I’m sure Natasha and the guys will be hungry when they wake up.”

“I’m fine, Y/N. Stop being so nice to me. You don’t have to…”

“What?” you ask when he stops talking.

“You don’t have to take care of me.”

“Well, someone has to, right? Everyone deserves someone to take care of them every once in a while,” you smile and turn back to the food.

Bucky stares at you in thought. He nods and takes a sip of his coffee. At the smell of food, Sam and Steve wake up. The only person who is sleeping is Natasha, and you can only assume she is going to want a strong cup of coffee, so you start to brew a pot for her. Much like you assumed, she walks out of Steve’s room when she smells the coffee.

“Is that coffee?”

“Brewed a new pot for you. Extra hot. Extra strong.”

“Thank you, Y/N.”

“Natasha. I hope you slept well,” Steve smiles.

“Thank you for letting me use your bed. You didn’t have to.”

“It’s no problem. Our couch isn’t the best, and I didn’t want your back all messed up.”

Sam looks at Steve who smiles knowingly. Natasha pours herself a cup of coffee while you plate the food. You slide one over to Bucky and smile at him.

“Eat. I can hear your stomach growling from over here.”

Bucky doesn’t say a word but accepts the food from you. After a nice breakfast, Natasha hops in the shower to wash of the stink from last night, and Steve strips his bed to wash the sheets. Natasha might smell good, better than most, but she reeked of alcohol last night, and he doesn’t want his bed smelling like that.

You get dressed in a green and white dress that goes down to your knees, and you walk into the bathroom where the lotion is. You pause when you see Sam standing by the sink with a toothbrush in his mouth… without toothpaste. Steve is standing by the towel rack looking at the large amount of products he keeps there. His hair is always silky smooth and his skin always looks amazing. He has some of the best products that you like to steal from time to time.

“What are you guys doing?”

“I’m brushing my teeth,” Sam says in defense.

“I’m just… doing things,” Steve mutters.

Bucky walks into the bathroom and pauses when he notices everyone else. “Is this a normal hangout spot now?”

“Nat, you’ve been in there for ages. Come on,” you say and squirt some lotion onto your hands.

“Sorry, I just can’t seem to find any towels that are bigger.” She slides the curtain back after she secures a towel around her body. All three men are big guys but their waists are slim, so they don’t need big towels, and all of yours are in the washer. “Oh.”

Sam stops brushing his teeth and stares at her while Steve blushes hard. He wants to look but every time he does, his face goes red so he clears his throat and turns away.

“Okay, come on. I have something you can wear.”

Bucky’s brain takes a few minutes to process what’s happening, so he freezes up when she tries to go past him. He barely gives her an inch to move, and you shake your head in disappointment.

“I am very disappointed in all of you.” You look at Bucky. “Especially you. I thought you were better than this.”

“I am sometimes.”

You walk into your room where Natasha is going through your closet for something to wear. You close the door to give her privacy, and she turns holding a shirt you got out of whim. Your style isn’t very flashy but she convinced you to get this shirt that exposes a bit more cleavage.

“No, I haven’t worn it yet. Yes, you can.”

“Thanks,” she grins.

She grabs a pair of jeans that she left over one time and puts those on along with the shirt.

“So, are we going to talk about last night?”

“I blacked most of it out. What happened?”

“You almost gave Bucky a lap dance, and it was cute to watch Steve gush all over you. That boy likes you.”

“Ooh, are we talking about boys?”

“Yeah, like your ex-boyfriend musician. Are you going to kick him out of your apartment?”

“He’s going to be gone in a few days. Can I just stay here until he’s gone?”

“Nat, that’s your place.”

“I know, but you don’t know this guy. He’s a PR nightmare. It’s best if I let him stay there until he’s gone.” You shrug. “Let’s talk about Bucky now.”

“Bucky? What about him?”

“Come on. You say Steve likes me? Bucky likes you.”

“No, he doesn’t. We’re just friends.”

“You can’t be just friends with these guys. Do you really think none of them have ever thought about sleeping with you?”

“Stop, it Nat,” you sigh.

Someone knocks on your door and Bucky opens it.

“Hey, Y/N, I’m going to the store. Do you need anything?”

“Yes,” Nat answers for you. “You should go with him, Y/N, to get that thing you really need.”

“I don’t need a thing.”

“Yes, you do. You need that thing you were telling me about.”

“I wonder what that is,” Bucky mumbles.

“She’ll be right out,” Nat smiles. She closes the door on him and turns to you with a smile. “This is perfect.”

You look at her and your eyes widen. “No, you’re not doing this. You’re not going to come in here and ruin what I have with them. I’m finally happy after Jack, and I really like these guys. I think they’re starting to like me, too.”

“Do you remember telling me about your perfect man? Bucky is everything on your list. Physically strong. Check. Nice smile. Double check. Tall. Triple check. Blue eyes, kind, caring, knows what he wants, and older. Check, check, and check.” She walks closer to you. “Plus, did you see his feet? A guy’s feet always point to what they want, and his were pointing right at you.”

“How would you like him to stand?” You stand and point both feet outward like a duck. “Like this?”

“Come on, go. He’s waiting for you.”

“Hey, are you ready?” Bucky calls out.

“Be there in a sec, bro!”

“Did you just call me bro?”

You pause. “Yeah. I’m coming.” You open the door. “Talk to Steve. I think he can be good for you.”

“Only if you talk to Bucky.”

“Bye,” you roll your eyes.

The ride to the store wasn’t as awkward as you thought it was going to be, but being in the store with all these people, all you could think about were Nat’s words.

“So, how long is she staying?” Bucky asks.

He has a very short list of items to get, and he goes through the different aisles and puts them in the cart.

“Only for a few days. Her douchey ex-boyfriend is staying in her apartment. It’s a long story.”

Everywhere you look there are different kinds of couples. Older, younger, same sex… Everywhere you look, you’re paying attention to their feet. One older couple has both their feet pointed at each other while another couple has theirs pointed away from each other. That couple looks like they don’t enjoy each other’s company as much. Is she right? Bucky says something but you’re too much in your own head to hear what he has to say.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“Stop taking care of everyone.”

You look down and notice his feet are pointing right at you. “Oh, my God.”

“What?”

“What?” You look up at him. “Nothing. What?”

“What?” You move slowly around Bucky but he follows you by moving his entire body and not just his head. “What are you doing?” You keep moving around Bucky to get his feet away from you but he keeps turning so that they’re always pointed at you. “I know she’s your best friend, but I didn't mean to insult you. I’m just saying you don’t have to take care of her.”

“I know.”

You do a complete one-eighty around him, yet he still follows you with his feet.

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing. I’m just trying to see…”

“Look, I’m sorry if I insulted you, but what are you doing right now?”

“I’m just… walking like a friend.”

“Okay, we have one more item on our list and then we can go. We just need toilet paper.”

“I don’t use it,” you say slowly.

“You don’t use toilet paper?”

You chuckle nervously and shake your head. “I mean… That’s not what I meant.” There is some right next to you so you grab the first one you see and put it in the cart. “Okay, we can go now.”

“You’re so weird,” he mutters and walks to the cashier.

Fuck, Natasha. She said something and now she’s in your head like a goddamn parasite. You two leave the store and start the journey back home. Bucky stops at the light and turns to you with confusion on his face.

“Okay, what is going on with you, Y/N?”

“Why do you have to do that? Why do you have to say my name like that?” You imitate him. “Y/N. And why do you have to wear old man clothes all the time?”

“I’m not wearing old man clothes. You don’t like the way I dress?”

“No… I just…” You fan your face. “I just need some air.”

All the windows are open but Bucky doesn’t comment on it. Just then, a woman walks up to the window carrying a bunch of red roses and is trying to sell them at stoplights like this one. You respect her trying to make extra money, but you can’t deal with this right now. All you can think about is Bucky and the fact that you saw his giant penis and the way his feet kept pointing at you.

“Roses for the lady?” the woman grins.

“You want some roses? I’ll buy you some.”

“No, I’m okay.”

Still, Bucky takes out some cash and hands it over to the woman who then gives the roses to him.

“Here, take some roses.”

“No, I don’t want them.”

“They were two dollars. Just take the roses.” You have to get out of here. You unbuckle and open the car door before fleeing. “Y/N, what are you doing? It was a joke. Get back in the car!” you take off running down the street. “Y/N!”

You don’t care if you’re going the wrong way. You just needed out of that goddamn car. It takes you an extra twenty minutes to get home when it could have taken you five in the car, but you needed the walk. You trudge inside your apartment to see Natasha sitting on the couch with a realtor magazine in her hands. She likes to keep up with what’s popular around the city.

“I walked all the way home,” you pant. “I got out of the war and walked all the way home.”

“What happened?”

“You happened, Nat. You got in my head! His feet were pointed at me the whole time.” She nods and stands up. “Is it the way I’m dressed? Is it my posture?”

“Look, I’ll talk to him for you.”

“No, please don’t. Just let me handle this, okay?”

The door opens and Bucky walks in with the groceries. “Okay, what the hell happened, Y/N? I’ve been driving around for the last thirty minutes looking for you. We were in the middle of traffic and you just got out and ran away.”

“I was hot,” you mumble.

“You were so hot that you had to jump out of my car and run?” You lean to the right and fix your posture. “Why are you standing like that?”

“This is how I always stand?”

“I’ve never seen you stand like that.” He shakes his head. “Look, I was worried about you, okay? You can’t just… Don’t do that again, okay?”

Bucky walks away and Natasha grins at you.

“Are you even listening to him? He’s trying to tell you that he likes you.”

“No, he’s just saying he cares about me as a friend.”

“Let’s go ask him.” She takes two steps and you jump on her back to stop her. She turns into the fighter that she is and starts to wrestle you, and you two go crumbling to the ground. “I am trying to help you, Y/N!”

“I don’t need your help, Nat. I like being friends with him. Yes, he has a giant penis that I saw. Yes, he saw me naked. Yes, he might be my dream guy, but none of that matters. He’s my friend and all that will go away if I bring this up. What if you’re wrong? What if he doesn’t like me?”

“A big part of my job is reading people. How do you think I managed to score as much as I have? I’ve managed to talk down narcissists and misogynists to buy more than the selling price. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. You never make the first move.”

“I have before, Natasha. I’ve been burned too many times to let it happen again. I like living here and that might go away because ‘you can read people’. I know you want to take care of me like I take care of you, but I have to handle this. Me, not you.”

“Fine,” she huffs out. “Thank you for letting me stay, but it’s best if I kick Troy out of my place. You got your boy drama and I have mine. Plus, I have a showing later in Beverly Hills I can’t miss.”

“You’re always welcome here.”

She leaves the apartment and Steve comes out of his room.

“Is she gone?”

“Yeah, she is.”

Steve sighs and flops onto the couch. “I don’t know how to do this. She’s not like any woman I have ever met. I thought we had a moment while you were gone, but it’s like it never happened with her.”

“Natasha has been hurt so many times. She had flings because in the last relationship she was in, he… I shouldn’t tell you this, but I will say this. She’s going to make you work for it.”

“That’s what makes it worth it,” he smiles.

“Good luck. She could use a guy like you.”

You’re exhausted by the end of the night, so you do your nighttime routine before going to bed. The first thing you do is brush your teeth. The door opens and Bucky walks in just as you start. You lightly blush just as Bucky grabs his toothbrush. You stand there in silence for a few minutes before you spit out the toothpaste in your mouth.

“Hey, I’m sorry for how I acted before.” Bucky looks at you. “Nat said something that freaked me out, but I’m good now. I’m sorry for worrying you.”

“It’s okay,” he says with a mouthful of toothpaste.

He turns to the sink again and continues brushing, and you notice his feet move away from you and back to the sink. To hide your smile, you continue brushing your teeth, and your heart flutters.

x

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[postingjustwhatever]

Spoilers for Sonic 3. This is just a rant. I just really want to get my thoughts out there and everything off my chest because I am just so upset, like really really upset. I am shocked I have heard nothing but praise for this movie. It really got my hopes up. I really didn't like the other ones. I'm not a big fan of the live action plus animated characters combo, The characters still look super uncanny and weird to me. I also really don't like Jim Carrey, I realllllly reallly don't like him. I don't find him funny at all. He's got kind of that millennial humor where it seems he thinks making weird faces and acting goofy is the peak of humor. Idk if younger kids find that funny, I feel like I wouldn't even as a kid. But I especially don't like it now, I'm just old man, I'm tired. I really wanted this movie to be a little more mature. Shadow Generations did such a good job. Dark Beginnings was amazing. I wish this movie could have felt more like that.

These movies just don't feel like Sonic at all. I know everyone gets sick of people complaining about Sonic's personality in these. But I think those are valid complaints. He just doesn't act or feel like Sonic and I don't think anything they do can make me view him as Sonic.

I just can't get over the whole Sonic the other characters being aliens from a different planet thing. It makes it hard to introduce other characters. And it completely changed who Sonic is. And now it's changed who Shadow is. Shadow is now just Sonic but edgy. He's just Sonic but if he got caught and put in a lab instead of living by himself and later getting adopted by humans. They took the Shadow being a darker version of Sonic thing literally. They changed everything about his backstory all while talking about how they wanted to do his backstory right.

It just hurts so much. I know I shouldn't be so affected by this. But I have been a fan of the Sonic franchise for so long and Shadow has always been one of my favorite characters of all time. And it hurts to have had my hopes up for this movie even a little bit thinking it would at least be better than the others and be so so disappointed. Maybe I don't have a right to complain because I didn't actually finish watching it. I started crying and ended up leaving around 45 mins in. Really embarrassing. I just couldn't enjoy it. I really really didn't like the Jim Carrey parts, they were painful. I was willing to sit though them because I wanted to see Shadow's backstory brought to screen in a big movie. But then then they explain his backstory and it's nothing like the games.

He crashed to earth in a comet. He wasn't created by Gerald. Maria wasn't sick. They didn't live on Space Colony Ark. I was so confused. I never even considered that they would change any of this. I thought the gun commander was just lying to Sonic about where Shadow came from so Sonic would work for them or something. But then they show the flashback with Maria and it's still the same. I ended up quickly looking up on my phone it they changed his backstory for this movie and they did. I just don't get why. I've seen people say because it wouldn't make sense in the movie universe because in the movies Sonic and friends are aliens. So they decide to just make Shadow an alien just like them?? I feel like they could have made his backstory work somehow. They didn't even try. Now he's just a literal dark parallel to Sonic. He's always been so but not like this. Do they think the most important part of his backstory is that he was in a lab, there was a professor and also a little girl he was friends with that gets killed.

It just kills me that they changed everything about Maria. She's not sick??? I guess if she's not sick it makes no sense for Gerald to have been researching a way to cure her or anything. I hate it so much. Shadow being just an alien takes away so much depth from all of their characters. Maria is the reason Shadow exists in the first place. She was so important. Their relationship was so important. It feel so much more meaningful for Shadow to have been created by her grandfather to cure her, than him just being some alien she was friends with. Her being sick but also so kind and hopeful was so important. She gets killed by the government when they raided a place that was trying to find a cure for her and she still tells Shadow to protect the people of earth. Maria was so important but now she's just some kid he was friends with I guess. I hate that they took away her sickness and her disability. I loved that the journal that came with Sonic x Shadow Generations portrayed that more. I loved that they showed it actually affecting her. I loved them showing her in the wheelchair hooked up to the iv bag but she was still smiling. She was still strong and hopeful despite everything and she still wanted Shadow to protect the earth despite what happened. And this movie took all that away from her character. I hate it.

Them just living on earth on some base makes me so upset. I was excited to see them on the Space Colony Ark. I wanted to see them looking out the window of the ark at the earth but instead I get them laying in the grass looking at the stars. Maria was so tragic because she loved the earth so much but she couldn't be there because she was sick. They took all of those parts of her character away.

I don't know how Professor Gerald was portrayed all I've seen of him was what was in the trailers and the brief glimpse I got before I left and I've hated everything I've seen. Gerald has never been as silly a character as Eggman. But it seems like Jim Carrey was playing him exactly the same. I assume he changes and acts different towards the end but my impression of him was already ruined. What's the point of him if he didn't create Shadow as a way to cure his granddaughter. It takes away so much from his character. He was also a tragic character. Him trying to do good with his research but then using his creation, Shadow as a weapon against humanity after his granddaughter is killed even after his death is ruined. He's still alive and he didn't create Shadow. I hate it so much. It's not as tragic with him still being alive. Did they have him still be alive so Jim Carrey could play double the annoying wacky roles. Gerald Robotnik is supposed to be a sad tragic old man but all I got was Jim Carrey in goofy looking prosthetic makeup.

Look I know it's a kids movie but couldn't they at least of made it a little less silly. The games were also kids games. Shadow Generation was also a kids game but it did a way better job with handling these characters. Maria and Gerald were Shadow's family. Gerald was his dad, sort of, I hate that they changed that. I guess Maria was still like family with him in this (idk what his relationship with Gerald was I didn't watch that far) but it's not the same.

I loved the Space Colony Ark, I loved it being some research lab up in space. What about artificial chaos, the biolizard, emerl??? None of that is a thing in these movies. It just sucks sooo much. Everything I love about the games is not in this movie. I couldn't finish watching it because I was so upset about the changes. It was bothering me so much it made Jim Carrey so much more insufferable. I am wondering if Shadow still has some connection to the Black Arms because he did fall to earth in a suspicious looking comet. I don't know if I even care because they already took away all the most important parts of his backstory.

Shadow's backstory being changed also kind of ruined the whole Sonic and his powers being sort of a natural force of nature thing and Shadow and his power being a man made thing. Like Shadow is always claiming to be the ultimate life form but he almost can't live up to Sonic's natural talent. It makes their rivalry so much more interesting. I also hate them having such similar backstories here. Sonic is supposed to be unburdened, free as the wind, living in the present, we don't even know what his backstory is. While Shadow is nothing but backstory, haunted by the past and burdened with tragedy.

Movie Sonic is nothing like game Sonic. There is very little that I love about game Sonic present in movie Sonic. I hate that since movie Sonic has a backstory they decided to take most of Shadow's backstory away so he would parallel Sonic. They really just made him Sonic but not nice.

I've just wanted to see a fully animated Sonic movie for years. I've especially wanted to see Sonic Adventure 2 adapted as an animated movie. These movies ruined my chance of seeing that. I thought this movie would be as close as I'd ever get to seeing SA2 in movie form. But there was nothing about it that was similar. Shadow may have the right personality but he has none of his backstory. Sonic isn't anything like Sonic. Tails is Tails I guess. I don't really care much about Knuckles but he doesn't even feel similar to his game counterpart.

I really hate everything they are doing with this movies. It's fine if people like them. I'm not trying to change anyone's opinion. I just really wanted to write how I feel about them because this one really upset me. I've cried a lot because of it. Which is silly I know. Shadow's character was important to me and so was Maria and it hurts so see so much changed about it. I had a dream a couple nights ago that I was watching this movie in theaters. In the dream there was some kind of change I didn't like and the movie was really short and I was really disappointed about it. I remember being upset about it because it sucked so bad. And the same thing happened when I actually saw the movie. They changed a lot and it was short because I left early. I just usually don't get excited for things because they usually disappoint me. I was kinda looking forward to this one and the good reviews didn't help. I was probably more excited than I realized because I did dream about it multiple times. I was disappointed in every dream. Usually when I am looking forward to something I have dreams about the thing where it sucks. I never been this thoroughly disappointed though. I think this is going to ruin my enjoyment of the Sonic franchise, everytime I see anything Sonic I think this movie and the disappointment that came with it is going to pop into my head.

Something that really bothers me is this quote from the director.

They didn't want too many characters so they could get Shadow's backstory right??? They got nothing about it right. I wish they wouldn't have added Gerald in the movie. He felt unnecessary. I would have much rather have had Rouge than another Jim Carrey. Rouge is important to Shadow's character. She was introduced in the same game. I hate that she was just sidelined like that. Them talking about how they wanted to do Shadow's backstory right just got my hopes up too much.

The lead up to the movie made me more excited than I should have been I guess. I preordered Sonic x Shadow Generations when it was announced. I played it when it came out, it had everything I loved about Shadow's character in it. I went to the Sonic Symphony this November. I felt like this movie, even if it wasn't great would at least be a fun way to end all of that. But it really just left me feeling awful.

I'm sure these movies have been great for the Sonic franchise. The money made from them probably helps them make better games. They've probably introduced a more people and kids to the Sonic franchise. I just kinda hate that this is the version they are introduced to.

I'm just so upset but I keep thinking something's wrong with me because everyone else seems to be enjoying it but I just can't. I don't think I am going to be watching any more of these movies, this one killed any interest.

[sleepyparalysisdmon]

Orbit - Act Three

Y/N has a little problem and it’s that she’s literally never alone. She hasn’t known what a little peace and quiet is for nearly a decade. When her therapist suggests a wellness retreat, she expects to be bored to death and just maybe learn to like meditation a little bit. She does not expect to meet someone that she has an insane connection with. Too bad it might be too good to be true.

You can find the masterlist here. 

Genre: medium au, a hint of soulmate au, heavy on the angst 

Pairing: Minghao x reader (featuring therapist!Jeonghan, best friend!Junhui, and ghost!Vernon, with a tiny bit of coworker!Seungkwan)

TW/CW: *deep breath* a lot of discussion of death and moving on (or not) afterwards, grief, trauma (specifically regarding a car accident), therapy, meditation, hypnosis, sleep disturbances, psychic abilities, discussion of mental illness and treatments, and explicit smut. MDNI. 

There are some difficult topics in this story and they are handled as delicately as possible, but proceed with caution if anything here might be upsetting.

Word count: 8.4k

Minghao watches the snow fall outside. He’s physically relaxed, lost in thought. It kind of feels like how he drifts in his sleep, but he’s awake. He’s just… not with it today. This time of year bothers him. He’s far away from family and won’t be able to visit this year, meaning he’s left with his thoughts. 

“Minghao?” He snaps back into his body, looking at Jeonghan, who looks patient but a little concerned. His notebook is already on the table. “You look a little lost today.”

“Sorry,” Minghao clears his throat. “What were you saying?”

“I was asking how things are going with that woman. Y/N, wasn’t it?” 

His heart races and it’s both a good and bad thing. It’s now been a couple months since he started dating you and he’s still head over heels. You seem to be too. But he’s sort of feels like he’s living a double life lately. 

“She’s good. Things are good.”

Jeonghan raises an eyebrow. “Where’s the stupid grin that you normally wear when you talk about her?” Minghao opens his mouth but then thinks better of it and closes it. Jeonghan purses his lips, glancing at his watch. He doesn’t have to remind Minghao that he’s shut down early. He just knows. “Trouble in paradise?”

“No!” Jeonghan’s eyebrows shoot up at Minghao’s knee-jerk reaction. Minghao tries to recover, if only a little. “I mean, it’s fine. Great, even.”

“But?” Jeonghan trails off. When Minghao doesn’t respond, Jeonghan uses his tried and true tactic. He tells you how you feel and he wants you to correct him. “It’s hard to let someone in, right? You seem like the type that might find it difficult.”

“I’m gonna throw more than a pillow at you.”

Jeonghan shrugs like he’s heard worse threats. “Am I wrong?”

“Yes,” Minghao insists hotly. “It’s not hard to let her in on 99% of things. It’s actually very easy.”

Jeonghan gives him an irritatingly easy smile. “Right. Soulmates and all.” Minghao’s fingers grip the pillow in his lap at the way he says ‘soulmates’ like it’s entertainment. It’s not entertainment to Minghao. It’s soul-crushing in the best way possible. “Tell me, what could you possibly not tell your soulmate of all people? What’s in that 1%?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe the astral projection. She’ll probably look at me like I’m crazy,” Minghao avoids. 

Jeonghan looks highly entertained, leaning back and smirking. “What, is she not a believer in that sort of thing?”

“No,” Minghao grates, already growing frustrated with the conversation. “The astral projection itself wouldn’t be a big deal.”

“Then what is?” Jeonghan presses, curiosity evident.

Minghao groans, squeezing his eyes shut. “It would make me sound crazy.”

“Do you realize where you are? That’s what I’m here for,” Jeonghan deadpans. 

“Fine,” Minghao huffs impatiently, pressing his fingers into his throbbing temples. He hates thinking about this. “How would I tell her that the first time I met her wasn’t at the retreat?”

Jeonghan tilts his head to the side, looking kind of perplexed. “I’m gonna need more than that.”

Minghao opens his mouth and words just start to fall out. It’s long winded and rambling and probably makes no sense. When Minghao falls silent, Jeonghan is quiet for a long time, a weird expression on his face as he looks outside at the snow. It makes Minghao snort. “Told you it sounds crazy. You’ve thought so since I told you about the wellness retreat.”

Jeonghan shakes his head vehemently. “Oh no. I believe you. Don’t take my silence as doubt.” His smile turns wry. “It’s not exactly what I trained to deal with, you know?” Minghao thinks he looks like he has a million questions, but he starts with, “when did that start?”

Minghao shrugs though he knows exactly how long it’s been, almost right down to the minute. “Ten years ago or so.” 

Jeonghan’s interest is piqued. “Was there a catalyst? Or it just happened one day?”

“There was a catalyst. I’d really like to not talk about that.” 

Minghao is kind of surprised when Jeonghan backs off. At least from direct questions, anyway. “And what exactly keeps you from telling her any of this? Do you think she would judge?” 

Minghao immediately shakes his head. “No. Like I said, she wouldn’t be fazed about the astral projection. She’s got her own things going on. It’s the… other stuff that I’m worried about.” 

Jeonghan pins him with a look that is strangely stern for someone who is supposed to be calm and relatively impartial. “So she’s told you her secrets, but you can’t tell her yours? That’s a pretty big double standard, Minghao.”

“It’s not just one piece that I’m worried about,” Minghao bites. “I’m worried about the other ones that fall like dominos when I let her in on one.”

Jeonghan must recognize that he won’t be getting anywhere on that path today, because he chews the inside of his cheek for a second. “Fine. The thing is, if she finds out without you being the one to tell her intentionally, it could upset her. You should think about it.” Minghao feels more sober than he ever has in his life. Jeonghan doesn’t let him linger. “Tell me more about the astral projecting.”

He answers but his mind is on other things. 

You’re restless. So restless, in fact, that you feel bad for keeping Minghao up. You’re at his apartment tonight, but there’s very little hope of sleeping, so you leave him in bed and go to the living room, curling up under a blanket and turning on the TV. 

This time of year is hard. Historically, your mood hasn’t been great anyway, but it majorly tanks by now every year. Maybe there’s some seasonal depression - or just straight up year round clinical depression, but there’s a heaviness that follows you like a black cloud each year the moment snow hits the ground. After all, it’s just a week before the anniversary of the accident. Jeonghan says that kind of mood shift would be normal for anyone, but you think he was trying to soften the blow right before he tells you he wants you to go back to the psychiatrist, this time for anti-depressants or the like. You have something scheduled but you don’t know if you’ll show up for that.

And your mood had been good. Worlds better than previous years thanks to Minghao’s presence in your life. He gives so much warmth to you that sometimes you feel a little undeserving. You’ve noticed his mood is a little off this time of year too, and he admits it’s because he’s so far from family. You do your best to match his warmth, but you don’t know how well you do at that. But even with him next to you, you could still feel the black cloud hovering over your head and you fear you’re bringing him down too. 

You like staying at Minghao’s apartment. It’s peaceful, far more peaceful than your own apartment sometimes. It might be because of how far into the metaphysical stuff he leans. He’s got the incense and oils and crystals, you name it. You wonder if maybe he bought some of them for you, but you haven’t been brave enough to ask. You still don’t have a lot of that stuff in your own apartment, if only because you want to get a handle on this thing without relying on all the tools.

Still, that peace you feel in his apartment means you eventually doze off on the couch to reruns on the TV. You actually dream this time and it feels like reliving what you and Minghao jokingly call your first date - the night drive to look at the stars. That brings a lot of peace too, remembering how you realized you were in love with him that night. You were honest when you told him nothing would ever compare. 

You wake up slowly, but your body wakes up even slower. You’re staring at Minghao’s TV as you lay on your side, but you can’t move a muscle. Just like every time you experience sleep paralysis, you feel that slice of fear. But there’s nobody in front of you asking for anything this time. So you will your heart to stop racing. You don’t know how long it will take to come out of this, but all you have to do is wait. 

As the panic fades, you realize you’re hearing whispering. 

“You’re such an asshole,” one voice snaps.

“And you’re totally innocent here. Right,” another voice bites.

“I don’t understand why you’re hanging on to this secret. It would actually make a difference for you.” You feel your stomach flip because both of these voices sound a little familiar in your hazy mind. 

“Then it leads right to your secret, which you’re holding onto with an iron fist. Which is stupid, by the way, in case I didn’t tell you that already.”

“It matters because you’ve been visiting her like this for years! I can’t see the line that goes out the door. You can.”

“And how would she handle that, Vernon? She’d run the opposite direction. It doesn’t matter if I can’t help it because it’s creepy.”

“Creepy to check up on someone that you have a connection with? Do you remember who we’re talking about here? That would be the least of her concerns.”

This voice hisses, intense anger pouring into the sound. “Stop calling it a connection. It was an accident! It has nothing to do with what we’re like now. It’s not why I’m with her.”

“It has everything to do with it, Minghao. Why do you think I’m still here? If you could just get your shit together, maybe I could leave.”

“Will you stop blaming me for that? I take the blame for the accident. I don’t take the blame for keeping you here. That’s on you!”

“And I think she’d like to know that you had something to do with the accident that ruined her life too.”

The moment your body unfreezes, you spring up, breathing jaggedly. Vernon and Minghao are across the room and they both spin to you at the sound. Vernon looks normal to you, but Minghao looks… not quite right, like he’s fuzzy in quality. They both looked panicked. Then you blink and they’re gone. 

You bury your face in your hands, the jagged breathing getting worse. You hear the bedroom door fly open and you jump up, brushing past Minghao in the hallway. 

“Y/N, please let me explain.”

“No,” you grate out, swiftly changing clothes. You start stuffing your things into your bag with more speed and aggression than necessary, but you can’t wait to get out of here.

“Y/N? I’ll explain everything, please just stop and give me a minute.”

In the middle of stuffing things in your bag, you glare at him over your shoulder, angry tears rolling. “Tell me, how long did you know? Was it the moment you saw me at the retreat and you just casually forgot to mention that you had a hand in ruining my life?”

“It’s not like that!” Minghao cries out. “I wanted to say something but I didn’t know how to.”

“But you didn’t say something. You let me pour my heart out that first night of the retreat without batting an eye.” You laugh humorlessly. “And now I know why! You already knew everything, didn’t you? The accident, my stupid fucking gift, how fucked in the head I’ve been for the last ten years. It’s all looking so clear now. That stupid connection wasn’t even real, was it?”

“It doesn’t matter if I knew anything. I let you come to me.” You can tell he’s building up some anger, but you have almost a decade of it built up to match. “And you know that connection was real. You felt it too. I know you did.”

“You let me come to you and you tried to fix me. Did it make you feel better?” You sneer. “Did it make you feel better to try to undo everything? Did you feel a connection or did you just feel less guilty?”

“You act like you’re the only one that was hurt in that accident. I lost Vernon in that accident. And I haven’t had a normal fucking night of sleep since then.”

“And you had every opportunity to open up about it and bond with me over that, and you didn’t. You let me feel like a freak that needed all the help in the world from you when we could have been commiserating instead.” He doesn’t have anything to say about that, a blend of anger and devastation on his face when he looks at you from across the room. You wipe your face angrily. “I should have known all of this was too good to be true. I find someone that finally brings me some peace and I should have known that there was a reason behind it.”

You hike your bag up over your shoulder and brush past him out of his bedroom. He’s tugging you back by the arm and you want to curse, and scream, and maybe even hit him. But he lets go when you stop and glare up at him. “If you want to leave, fine. But let me drive you home. It’s the middle of the night.”

You let him get dressed and you lead the way out to his car. He drives to your apartment, glancing at you every now and then, not that you give him a single side eye. The silence is deafening in the car, nothing like the usual comfortable silence, and he’s barely put it in park when you’re flying out of your seat and slamming the car door behind you. 

You feel kind of numb by the time you get into your apartment and lock the door behind you. There will be no going back to sleep tonight. You think about watching TV, but you were doing that earlier before you heard that little secret. You think about sitting outside on your balcony, but you and Minghao have done that too many times. So you go to your bathroom and run a hot bath. You stay in it until it’s ice cold and you need a warm shower to stop shaking. 

You hate this time of year, yes. But this year is the worst you’ve ever felt. 

You call out of work for the week, saying that you think you have the flu. It’s a believable story, because something like that has been going around the office. And you might as well have the flu because you stay in bed and go through boxes upon boxes of tissues. In fact, that’s what gets Junhui to come over. 

He calls one afternoon to check in and can tell by the sound of your voice that something is wrong. He’s been around for more than a decade, so he knows what you’re like this time of year. But he treads extra lightly this time, asking if you need anything. You simply say, “tissues”. 

When he gets there with your tissues amongst other things, he must realize that it’s much worse than normal and you feel bad that he’s sort of tiptoeing around you. But you’ve had a steady stream of tears for days and must look like a mess and there’s no covering it up. Jun simply gives you a hug, demands that you finish an entire glass of water in front of him, and sends you off for a shower. 

When you come out, he hands you another glass of water and a bowl of stew. It takes you forever to eat because you can’t remember the last time you had anything and you kind of forgot how all of it works. He doesn’t look offended when you don’t finish it, simply packing away the leftovers for later. 

The thing about Junhui is that he doesn’t really ask questions. He just lets you be. It’s nice, really, something that you’ve always appreciated about him. You recognize that you’re the demanding one in this friendship, the one that constantly needs the help and support. And you can’t swallow the guilt anymore that you’ve paid him back for all of that patience and support by keeping secrets. 

You’ve tried not to think about your conversation with Minghao the night you rushed out of his apartment, but you’d very quickly realized how much of a hypocrite you were for criticizing him for keeping a secret. It’s not like you’d been open to him about everything. And he was a special case compared to others. Outside of Jeonghan, no one in your life knows what you really deal with. It’s not even about getting help or understanding from Junhui now. It’s that he’s been by your side this whole, unflinchingly helping you without really knowing what he’s dealing with and that’s unfair of you. 

So you sniffle and look at him from the other end of the couch. “Junhui, I need to tell you something.”

He nods. “Okay. What is it?” He’s always had an abundance of patience and it makes your heart hurt. 

So you tell him everything. It comes out more like word vomit, totally random and absolutely not in chronological order of any sort. You tell him about your abilities, and the sleep paralysis, and meeting Minghao, and Vernon, and how they’re both apparently connected to the accident, and how they both kept that a secret from you.

When you run out of words, Jun just takes a deep breath and nods, opening his arms for you to crawl into. You and Jun aren’t the touchiest of people together, but the offer of comfort brings more tears so you lean into his side and let him wrap his arms around you. “You must think I’m crazy,” you mumble against his shirt that’s quickly becoming damp. 

“No, I don’t. I always had a feeling there was something else you were dealing with, but I didn’t want to press.” He lays his head onto of ours, both of you staring ahead at the TV. “It kind of puts all the puzzle pieces together, honestly. Sometimes, you check out and it takes a long time for you to come back. It… makes some sense now. So no, you’re not crazy.”

You sigh, burrowing deeper into his chest. He tugs the blanket up, kind of cocooning you. “Thank you, but I still don’t know what to do with any of it.”

Jun thinks for a while, before finally saying, “Maybe you don’t do anything with your abilities. At least not right now. Just let it be.” He hesitates and you kind of stop breathing for fear of what he might say. “But maybe you shouldn’t let this thing with Minghao and Vernon sit.” He must feel how you tense against him and he rubs a hand up and down your arm comfortingly. “Think of it as closure, maybe. I’m not saying fix things with Minghao and get back together if you don’t want that. But, this situation seems to weigh on all three of you. Maybe it would help all of you to just clear the air and then see where you’re at.”

You don’t say anything because you don’t know if you could approach Minghao and you don’t think he’ll approach you. Not with the way you both left things the other night. And you don’t know if you’ll see Vernon again. He was always the one to seek you out and you don’t know how to seek him out even if you wanted to. 

The rest of the night passes quietly and Junhui stays when you ask. You don’t want to be alone right now. You laugh when you realize that, because that’s all you’d ever wanted for the last ten years. 

Jeonghan calls you the morning of your next appointment and cancels. Actually, he fires you. You were silent, kind of stunned by the words, ‘I can’t treat you anymore’. 

But, to your surprise, he follows it up with a request to meet for coffee the next morning, which is a Saturday. You’re perplexed by the offer and even try to bring a little levity to it. “Jeonghan, are you asking me out?”

He had snorted into the phone. “No, Y/N. I can’t be your therapist anymore. But I can be your friend. That relationship has fewer limitations.”

You don’t know what that means, but you do your best to clean yourself up and meet him at the coffee shop. Jeonghan is already there in a corner booth when you arrive and he offers to get the coffee for both of you. When he comes back with it, he gives you the same wry smile that you would normally see in therapy. “So, I hear things have been rough lately.”

Your mind stalls out. Your appointments have been solely focused on your abilities. You don’t think you’ve even mentioned Minghao, and certainly haven’t had the opportunity to tell him about the blow up the other day. 

“How did you know that?” You whisper, fingers gripping the cardboard cup. 

He looks a little sheepish, or awkward, or uncomfortable. You aren’t quite sure. But he squirms in his seat the same way he’s called you out for thousands of times. “I have a confession to make and it will skirt around a lot of guidelines I’m supposed to follow.” You blink at him, fearing the worst. He sucks in a deep breath and then sighs. “I happen to know who you’ve been dating because he’s told me about it.”

Your brain freezes and your eyebrows pinch together because you’re totally confused. “You… know him? You treat him?”

He squirms again. “I can neither confirm or deny that, but… yes, I do know him. And I happen to know that you guys are on the outs right now.”

You lean back, arms crossed over your chest, pressing your lips together tightly. “Is that why you fired me? Because you… know both of us.” You watch your words, understanding now what he meant about skirting around guidelines. He can’t tell you if he treats Minghao.

“I fired you because I can’t help either of you without being able to admit that I know what the other side is going through. That’s actually been a difficult thing over the past few months, honestly. Not letting on to either of you. I’ve been playing dumb a lot and it’s driving me nuts.”

You don’t know what to do with this, really. You’d never considered that Jeonghan knew more about your life than what you talked about in therapy. “And what can you tell me now that you’re no longer treating me?”

He purses his lips, thinking for a minute, probably trying to filter his words to not get himself in trouble. “Naturally, anything mentioned in my office is off limits. But we can talk about what was said outside of my office. If you want to hear it, that is.”

You’re undeniably curious. Minghao might have kept secrets from you, but you wonder how direct he’d been with Jeonghan. “Did he tell you about the accident?”

Jeonghan picks at his coffee cup. “Eventually. Not that he needed to.” You give him a perplexed look. He sighs, digging into his bag and pulling out a manila folder. “I got curious after our first attempt at hypnosis when you gave a description of the other car, so I requested a copy of the police report. I was trying to validate the information you gave, but I discovered something else.”

He slides the folder to you and you don’t touch it right away, like it might burn you if you do. Jeonghan sips his coffee, waiting for you to work up the courage. When you finally do, flipping the folder open, the first page has your name at the top. And Minghao’s. And a Chwe Hansol. You wonder if that’s Vernon’s name. You’d never thought to ask, always assuming Vernon was it.

The words kind of blur for you, which frustrates you because you’d kind of hoped you were out of tears by now. But you can see the important things. No one was determined to be at fault for the accident, citing bad weather and slick roads. There was no indication that either driver was driving recklessly. It could have happened to anyone. There’s a description of the damage, with the phrase ‘images attached’, but when you go to flip the page, Jeonghan reaches out and stops you. “Maybe look at the rest later. You can take the folder.”

You close the folder slowly, placing your hands flat over top of it, kind of at a loss for words. Jeonghan gives you a long time, more than he ever has in therapy, probably because the clock isn’t ticking and your bill isn’t running up the longer you take to pull yourself together. When he gets the sense that you’re almost there, he speaks up again. 

“I’ll ask you the same thing I asked him. How are you feeling with all of this?”

“Hurt. A little naive. Guilty.”

“Guilty?” Jeonghan asks with a hint of shock. “What for?”

You rub your forehead because it’s starting to throb from all of this. “I may have reamed him out about keeping secrets when I was keeping my own.”

“And what were you keeping from him?”

You laugh humorlessly behind your hand. “It would make me sound crazy.”

“Y/N,” Jeonghan huffs. “How many times do I have to tell you I won’t think that?”

“I know, I know,” you wave off. “You find the term unethical or whatever. But it will sound crazy.” You lean back again, assuming your typical defensive position. “You know we met at the retreat?” Jeonghan nods. “Well, I had a hard time with yoga at one of the sessions. I was trying to sort through everything in my head and I must have missed when the instructor called the end of the session. Minghao touched me to check on me and everything went silent. Not a single voice except my own. It happens every time he touches me.” Jeonghan’s giving you a look that makes you have to look away. “Told you it’s crazy.”

“That’s,” Jeonghan pauses, laughing in a short burst, “actually the least crazy thing about all of this. It actually makes a lot of sense.”

You give him an incredulous look. “Jeonghan, you’re sounding crazy now. Do you have a therapist?”

He’s still chuckling to himself. “I can’t believe I didn’t think about that.” You call his name, losing patience. He shakes his head. “In psychology, there are terms such as shared trauma or collective trauma. Neither of them quite fit, but what you’re experiencing might be related. You guys bonded over this accident, whether you realized it or not. It seems like it was more of an unconscious thing. And… some strange things came out of it. Those strange things aren’t all that strange, actually. People report all the time that a guardian angel saved them in situations like that. In terms of consciousness, the accident connected you. Not just you and Minghao, but Vernon too.”

There’s so much to digest there, but you find yourself saying, “You know about Vernon?”

Jeonghan nods. “Not from you, of course. You didn’t tell me you had a regular visitor.”

You feel the overwhelm creeping up on you, so you bury your face in your hands, feeling so exasperated. “What do I do with all of this, Jeonghan?”

“You go talk to Minghao, and maybe Vernon when you’re ready to clear the air.”

The level of exhaustion that you feel when you pull your hands away from your face is massive. “I don’t know if either of them want to see me.”

“They do,” Jeonghan says simply without a hint of doubt. “But you should take your time and be ready for it. They’ll wait.” You don’t have anything to say, so Jeonghan nudges your coffee to you. “Finish your coffee. I just lost some income, don’t let me waste any of it.”

“I will throw this coffee at you.”

“Go ahead. It’s cold anyway.”

Minghao hears the ding of the bell at the shop door and glances up, before looking back down at his book without a word. He’s been doing it all morning. He’s not in the mood to work, but he can’t exactly afford not to open up the shop today. He’s frankly not in the mood for anything. 

Least of all, the fact that no one is at the door. 

It freaked him out the first couple times earlier this week because, despite his little gift when it comes to dreaming, he hadn’t experienced anything paranormal while awake before. He’d never been opposed to it or held any disbelief for it, but he’d never seen it with his own eyes in the daylight. But the bell at the door kept ringing like it was opening. Sometimes, the door would even clap shut like it had been opened an inch or two and then closed again. But sometimes the door stayed firmly shut and the bell still went off. He’d thought about disengaging it, but he was kind of afraid that he’d miss someone actually coming in. 

The bell dings again and he peers up over his book to see the shelf next to the door shaking a little. Not enough to tip over, but it made him squeeze his eyes shut. He’d been going through the soil like crazy this week, because pots had mysteriously been knocked over throughout the shop constantly. He’d had to repot at least a dozen things and sweep up the mess, only for it to happen again on the other side of the store an hour later. He’d refused to truly acknowledge both the door bell and the pots being knocked over. 

The day creeps by. A flower shop just doesn’t get as much business during the winter, outside of some poinsettias or an order of red roses or the like for a funeral. It’s not the time of year for anything brightly colored and Minghao himself has a hard time looking at some of them right now, no matter how much he loves them the rest of the year. 

He would normally close up shop a little early to go see Jeonghan today, but his calendar is clear so he stays until 6pm, cleaning up yet another fallen pot before leaving. At home, he makes dinner and goes about a quiet night. But things move then too. The salt shaker tips over in front of him and he rights it, sweeping up the grains into his palm. The microwave goes off like something is inside it, but nothing is. The faucet turns on by itself and he shuts it off at least four times while he cooks. 

His bowl of food scooting away as he tries to get a bite is kind of the final straw. He drops the chopsticks and sighs. “Vernon, stop it.” The bowl jerks again and Minghao kind of resigns himself to having to clean that up too when it crashes to the floor any minute now. 

He’d been avoiding sleeping. It was far from a healthy decision, but that was how he saw Vernon and he was avoiding him, still upset about the last conversation they had. Sleeping also meant seeing you, and he didn’t want to risk you seeing him again when you weren’t ready. He was following his rule of letting you come to him, even it was eating him alive. 

The TV turns on behind him, volume shooting to full blast. Minghao rubs his forehead. “Fine!” He yells. The volume is lowers. “I’ll go to sleep.” The TV clicks off behind him.

It’s early, but Minghao cleans up from dinner and gets ready for bed. He’s usually meticulous about his bed, making it every morning and putting fresh sheets on it every week. He should have done that yesterday, but he didn’t because the sheets still smell like you and he’s feeling particularly weak about it. So he crawls into bed in crumpled sheets, pulling the bunched blanket over himself. 

He drifts off fast and knows where he is right away. He’s outside of your room and there’s a line out of the door. You must be asleep. Vernon is at the end of the hall and watches carefully when Minghao maneuvers between people to get to him. “Busy?”

Minghao glances behind him. “Yeah, just like it always is.”

Vernon gives him a hard look. “You know, avoiding me means you’re letting her suffer, right? I can’t wake her up if you don’t tell me when it gets bad.” Minghao doesn’t know what to say as his jaw ticks. Vernon sighs. “I take it you guys aren’t talking.”

“No,” Minghao says. “You know my rule. I’m letting her come to me.”

“That’s a stupid fucking rule and it always has been, particularly after you met her in real life,” Vernon says sharply. 

“Yeah, because saying, ‘you don’t need to introduce yourself because I’ve been checking up on you every night in my dreams’ is super comforting,” Minghao bites sarcastically, tone equally sharp.

“It might have been, but we’ll never know now, will we?” Vernon’s jaw is tight. He’s been bleeding frustration since the first night Minghao stayed over at your apartment. “It’s up to you guys to fix this. I can’t do anything except watch you guys, particularly you, run from this. It will have been ten years tomorrow and I’m tired, Minghao.”

Minghao feels grief-stricken every time Vernon implies that he’s stuck. It’s been a comfort to know that he’s still right there. It occurs to him that maybe he’s been selfish, clinging onto the idea that he’s not really gone. But he’s lost on how to fix it. 

A sharp voice comes from your room and Minghao spins. Some people give him looks as he brushes past them, but he’s learned to ignore it. There’s a woman leaning over you, hands on your shoulders, shaking you. Some are so desperate to find some peace that they become demanding and threatening. Besides a pinch in your eyebrows, you’re still asleep, unaware of this. Minghao found years ago that he couldn’t do anything himself. Couldn’t touch you to wake you up, couldn’t pull the demanding person away. But Vernon could, so he turns to him.

Vernon gives him a hard look again. “If you don’t want her to see you, you should leave.” 

He follows instructions, stepping out into the hallway. He knows when Vernon’s woken you up because the hallway clears, the crowd leaving looking dejected. You can’t (or won’t) help them when you’re awake, so they’ve long given up trying. 

Minghao can hear that you’re angry when the crowd clears. He makes himself comfortable, sitting down in your hallway. “Why are you here?” You ask sharply. 

“You can be mad all you want, but I’m not going to let them drain you,” Vernon says stubbornly. 

“They’ve been draining me all week,” you snap, bed squeaking like you’re sitting up in bed. 

“I’ve been busy,” Vernon evades. 

“Vernon, I don’t want to be made a fool anymore, so please stop dancing around the topic,” you practically beg. 

Vernon is silent for a long time. “So you want to talk about it?” His words lack most of the heat from earlier.

“You’ve been visiting me for nearly a decade and you never told me why. I think we’re long overdue to talk about it.”

Your desk chair squeaks and Minghao assumes that Vernon has sat down. It feels like he’s encroaching on a private conversation, like he’s done far too many times when it comes to you in this particular situation. So he wills himself to wake up. 

When he’s back in his own body, he doesn’t think twice of gathering a blanket and going out to his balcony. It doesn’t matter that it’s snowing and freezing. He’s skipping out on sleep again, if only to give you some privacy for once. 

It’s actually very easy to find what you need.

It takes what feels like a year to shower and get dressed, mostly because you’re not ready for today. You linger under the hot water and you change your clothes a few times when you’ve never really done that before. You usually take a quick five minute shower and throw on whatever is closest. Maybe you care more about what you look like. Or maybe you’re just trying to delay the inevitable for a little while longer. 

The subway is busy. Not with the living, naturally. But there are a lot of wanderers out today. It’s obvious that’s what they are. They walk through things and don’t have coats for the blistering weather. Some of them have evidence of their death, some gruesome, some not. You spend far more time looking at them today, risking being caught. 

You get off at your stop and start walking. The gates are open when you arrive and you pull out the map. This is what was easy to find. You make your way to the spot you’ve marked, trudging through the snow.

You aren’t really surprised to see Minghao at the gravesite when you arrive. Vernon said that Minghao visits it every year, sometimes for hours on end, rain or shine, snow or sleet. Doesn’t matter. 

What does surprise you is that he’s sipping from a bottle of brown liquor that’s half gone. It takes many long moments to steel yourself before you approach. He glances up when your shadow casts over him. “Mind if I join?”

“Go ahead,” he says, taking another sip. When you’re seated, he offers you the bottle. You take it without a second thought and sip from it as well. It burns your throat and whatever face you make must be funny, because he chuckles when you hand it back. “Not much of a drinker?”

“No,” you cough a little. “I didn’t really take you to be one either, especially in broad daylight in a cemetery.”

“The groundskeeper never says anything about it. They must see a lot of that here,” Minghao says. He’s probably right. Silence takes over and it’s so much quieter than normal because of the snow. It’s almost eerie, especially when you can see others creeping around. You make a point to not come to cemeteries because, much like funeral homes, they’re busy places for someone like you. But you’re kind of surprised that there’s kind of a hush in your head here, like it would be rude for the ghosts to be loud.

Like you told Vernon last night, this conversation was long overdue. But, much like your conversation with Vernon, it was hard to figure out where to start.

Minghao must not expect you to start with, “I’m sorry”, though. His head snaps to you, eyes wide. You can’t look at him long. 

“What could you possibly be sorry for?”

You reach your hand out for the bottle again and he hands it to you. You sip and cringe at the taste before handing it back. “I may not be happy that either of you kept secrets like that, but I kept my own secret. It was hypocritical of me to lose it on you like that.”

“It couldn’t compare to the secrets we were keeping, surely,” Minghao shakes his head. 

“I don’t know.” You give him a hesitant smile, trying to soften the tension between you two. “Card on the table? For both of us?”

He doesn’t smile back, anxiety clear across his face. He swallows thickly and begins. 

He was an exchange student at the time and his host family was Vernon’s family. He and Vernon became close, separated in age by only a few months or so. One night, Minghao was driving them home and the roads were bad. He lost traction and ended up in a ditch, along with another car. Your car. He was awake but groggy, immediately checking on Vernon. Vernon was responsive and insisted he was okay, all but demanding that Minghao go check the person in the other vehicle. 

Your window had been smashed in, the door crumbled next to you. He’d reached through the broken window to shake your shoulder and see if you’d wake up, but when his hand landed on your shoulder, something happened and the lights went out for him.

He woke up in the hospital bed the next day to the bad news. But that didn’t make sense to him because not long after that conversation, they’d given him another dose of morphine and he’d drifted off to sleep again. And Vernon was right there. 

So over the months following the accident, Minghao loved to sleep. He’d sleep for more than twelve hours at time, angry about waking up when he did. Everyone let him, thinking he needed the rest, not realizing that rest had nothing to do with it. He’d drift off and end up wherever Vernon was, and that often times was with you. 

He knew it was you. Knew what you looked like from the accident. In time, Vernon put the pieces together too. Knew that you had something special about you and it was draining you. 

And then he’d met you at the retreat, totally blindsided by seeing you in real life again. Totally blindsided by the immediate connection. He had a lot of fear that it was only because of the accident and his almost nightly visits to check on you. But by the end of the retreat, he was sure that wasn’t it. At least not entirely. 

When he runs out of words, he rubs his face. “God, this sounds like a bad movie.”

You glance around the cemetery. A lot of the information isn’t a surprise because Vernon had filled in some of the gaps last night. But there’s still some shock. It makes you laugh and the feeling in your chest seems entirely inappropriate. “You could say that. I mean, I’m seeing ghosts right now. It is a bad movie.”

Minghao looks at you for the first time since starting to explain anything. His gaze is a little watery, eyes unfocused. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles. “I should have just told you. But there was no way for me to tell you that without you running the other way. Which would have been fair. It would be fair now too.”

You chuckle again, sounding a little watery too. “You haven’t heard my secret yet.”

Minghao chuckles back, sounding a little hollow. “It can’t compare to the gravity of what I just told you, Y/N. You don’t have to try to make me feel better.”

You purse your lips, looking across the cemetery. You gesture to a particular headstone, a towering monument that surely cost an arm and a leg. “Do you see that large headstone?” He looks over and nods. “There’s a woman sitting next to it. I’m pretty sure she’s passed on.”

Minghao glances back to you, confusion all over his face. “Okay?” It’s not unkind, like he doesn’t want to hear about your gift. He just doesn’t seem to know where you’re going with this. You hold out your hand expectantly and he gives you a blank look. 

“Hold my hand for a moment, please.” Your words make the look in his eyes change, turning softer. His hand is freezing when he folds his long fingers around your hand. You can’t help that your mouth twitches up a little at the touch. You look over to the headstone again. “She’s gone.”

The confusion on his face doubles. “What do you mean?”

You readjust your hand, intertwining your fingers with his. “I mean… your touch is like an off button for my little ‘gift’. My head goes quiet and I don’t see anything, at least not nearly as much as I normally would.” He’s staring at you with a a painfully vulnerable expression. “You asked what happened at that yoga session at the retreat, when you touched me. That was it. I resisted it for a while because I didn’t want to depend on it. Didn’t want it to be why I was with you.”

Minghao looks at your joined hands, almost admiring them. “And… that’s not why you were with me?”

“No, it’s not,” you say genuinely. “Was this connection in your dreams why you were with me?”

Minghao shakes his head instantly. “No. Don’t get me wrong, I had a soft spot for you because of it, but that’s not the whole story.”

After a long beat, you slide over in the snow covered grass and Minghao wraps his arms around you right away. “What now?” You ask. Cards on the table doesn’t mean you really know what to do with any of it.

He presses a kiss to your forehead with cold lips. “Let’s go home. We can figure it out later.” 

Minghao is working on an order and it’s kind of a weird one. It’s sweet, no doubt. Someone’s done their research. But normally, people will pick a single flower for a bouquet, or maybe even two or three that coordinate well. Not six that don’t coordinate in the least. This is a hodge podge of everything to do with love. Baby’s breath, camellia, carnation, honeysuckle, morning glory, and pink roses. Orders like this make him laugh because it’s really coming on strong. 

Not that he blames anyone for that. He’s been known to come on pretty strong sometimes, if only when it comes to you. 

It’s the middle of the summer now, a little over six months since fixing things with you. You both kind of agreed to forget about the week that you guys were off, calling it water under the bridge. But things had been distinctly different since fixing things on the anniversary of the accident. No secrets were allowed anymore. You’d seemed like you kind of expected him to hesitate in agreeing to that, but the only secret he’d ever wanted to keep from you was already out. Since then, things had been what you often called soul-bearing. Junhui was disgusted to be around you guys most of the time and Jeonghan even said that he regretted helping you guys fix things sometimes. He recognized that you both laid it on thick sometimes, but it really, genuinely couldn’t be helped even if either of you wanted to. 

Motion at the propped open shop door makes him look up and smile. “Good afternoon,” he says lightly. 

“Good afternoon,” you greet, smiling and looking around the shop like it’s the first time you’ve been here. You do this from time to time and he thinks it’s cute so he’s helpless to stop it. 

“Can I help you find anything?” He plays along, biting back his smile.

“I’m actually here to pick up an order,” you say, approaching the counter to lean on it, propping your head up on your fist. 

“Oh?” Minghao continues to stuff flowers into place. “What’s the name for it?”

“Boo Seungkwan,” you say, sly smile spreading across your face. 

Minghao stops, picking up the order form he’s working on right now, then raising an eyebrow at you. “Is there something you’d like to tell me?”

“That depends. Is my order ready yet?” You ask cutely, glancing at the bouquet in his hands. He gives you a look, wrapping it up in paper and laying it on the counter, and picking up the order form. 

“May I ask who this is for?” Minghao asks, leaning on the counter too, face level with yours. 

Your smile is light. Lighter than he thinks it ever has been. “I’ve been seeing this guy. He’s pretty great and I’m very much in love.” Your eyes bounce down to the bouquet. “If you couldn’t tell.”

Minghao thinks you may never stop making his heart race stupidly. “Someone’s been doing their research. I thought I noticed a book missing from my shelf at home.”

You’re smiling though you start to flush, some of your boldness waning. “Guilty. They’re for you. I just wanted to be sneaky about it.” You stand up straight, reaching for your purse. 

Minghao reaches out to stop you, grabbing your hand. “Be sneaky all you want. I’m not going to charge you for this one.” He presses a kiss to your hand before letting go. He picks up the bouquet, admiring it. Unlikely as it is, it’s pretty. “I’ll admit, it works in a weird way.”

You shrug at him. “It was less about it working and more about sending a message.” 

Minghao puts the flowers down, walking around the counter. His arms wrap around your waist like second nature now as he leans down to press repeated kisses to you - your lips, your cheeks, your eyelids, doesn’t matter. You chuckle, hands flat against his chest. “Message received,” he says simply, pulling away.

“Any plans tonight?” You ask, looking up at him in a way that makes him putty. 

“No, I’ll just be wherever you are. If that’s okay,” he tacks on.

You press a kiss to his cheek. “More than okay.” Your phone rings in your bag and you groan. He laughs, letting you go. You’ve taken a new position at work and it means you get a lot more phone calls nowadays. “I guess I better go before someone comes looking for me. I’ll see you tonight?”

“Of course,” he says kissing you one more time before you go. 

The afternoon is busy, but he finds some time to put together his own bouquet. It’s equally weird and shouldn’t work. But like you said, it’s more about sending a message than anything. He leaves with that bouquet when he locks up. He hopes that you’ll get the message, just like he got yours. 

Bonus: I couldn't fit this in the banner but I laughed until I cried when I came across this.

[yoakenouta]

ㅤㅤTHE immediate refute caught the master in a flinch and he found himself nervously holding onto the other side of his arm, gaze lowered elsewhere as if he were the picture of uncertainty. Honestly ... what was he so afraid of ? Being an ordinary person, he was well aware he had the privilege to love and be loved just like anyone else but standing here now, he couldn't help but wonder ... just what sort of person did everyone see across the glass ? Perhaps, all they saw was the ideal facade that the master had desperately maintained for as long as he could remember. It was the self that everyone flocked to because he was incredibly kind, helpful and most of all, willing to accept anything that came his way. But yet behind this ideal, he was an utterly selfish and miserable person who sought to act out of self-gratification ( it was the only way he knew to make himself feel like he was worth something ). So that's why, he was content to stay where he was, wearing that same smile while his true self remained behind the looking-glass self, detached from the world.

ㅤㅤBut to admit all of this ... would be pretty pathetic wouldn't it ? In the end, he was nothing more than a coward, afraid to have his true self acknowledged out of the fear that there was truly nothing worth staying for. Besides, why did it matter ? His own insecurities were practically miniscule in the face of the world. He was just but an ordinary person that didn't have anything worth going for him.

ㅤㅤ" ... Breaking that wall is pretty scary, you know ? " He finally, spoke his voice quivering ever so slightly even with a smile on his face. " I wouldn't want them to get hurt after all. " He was only making excuses ( after all, he was the one afraid of getting hurt ). " ... Maybe under normal circumstances, it'd be difficult for her to believe you when you act the way you usually do but I think if you're honest about your feelings like this, maybe you would get through to her. Even if it's just by a little. She and I are pretty different people after all so maybe you'd have a better chance there. " It would be pretty upsetting if she was anything like her master after all.

ㅤㅤ" ... But ... well ... it's not that I don't understand where you're coming from -- rather ... it's a bit hard to believe in myself. It might be a little hard to understand but ... " He trailed off as he found himself hesitant to continue. " ... I do appreciate the sentiment at least. " It seemed more like an apology rather an expression of gratitude. Even his gaze that flicked towards Dark's extended hand had followed the same sentiment.

ㅤㅤ" In the end, you don't really need to do any of that for me. It's not as if it's that big of a deal and besides, I'm already happy enough where I am. " He suddenly reached out, as if to finally take Dark's hand but instead, he seized his wrist to pull him into a tender embrace. " Still ... I'm really happy to have a friend like you. You and Daisuke both. " Perhaps on the surface, it could be perceived as an act of appreciation towards Dark's concern for him but in reality, this was his way of deflecting any attempts to peer into his heart ( this was his way of regaining the control that momentarily slipped from his fingers ). All he had to do was veil himself with the facade that everyone was so happily acquainted with. " So, you don't have to worry about me in the slightest. " He reassured with a gentle smile, squeezing his shoulders ever so slightly.

' it's not . ' immediate , and just as matter-of-fact . his voice nips low , a snarl without any bite . ' ordinary people ... ' and yet , despite the strength of his initial decline , the rest of the words start to feel strange in his mouth . would a thing like him really try to talk about what ordinary lives it hardly should have known ? even his most stubborn ideas about humanity were nothing more than ideals . and yet , he hisses and bares his teeth ; growls out his thoughts from between the long , razor points anyways . ' ordinary people are always allowed something beyond just that . what is it you're so afraid of ? ' the slit pupils of his eyes cinch , each thinning line trying to needle into the other , and yet it wasn't enough ; would never be to slice the master open and place all their parts into vivisection . all he had to work with were ritsuka's words ; vague confessions and self-lashings .

( ... so you're the same , huh . )

' in the first place , it should be enough that you're there . whether it's a servant or even an ordinary human being , there's nothing more precious than anyone's time . second , even if there's a wall , don't you want to try to break it ? to crack and smash it into pieces , just so you can reach person on the other side ? even if you think you have next-to-nothing to give , you can still give it your all for the sake of someone , right ? '

it would have been hypocrisy to call the master a coward , and yet it still might have been a truth . ' --- when i think about her , i want her to trust me . when i call her cute or beautiful , when i call her clever , even for insulting me ... even if she can't believe it about herself , i want her to at last believe me . it's only natural , then , that hearing the opposite would hurt , ' like the ache in his borrowed body , stemming from the heart and bruising him all the way down to the very bone . even this sense of violently being pulped --- was love , too .

' master , we might not be a couple , but we're still friends . if i can make a hole even just the size of my hand in any wall that springs up between us , then that's good enough for me . ' his fist raises and approaches , only to blossom its fingers into an open , waiting palm . ' a box that can't be broken from the inside might still be able to be broken from the outside . if you can find someone to accept things , then there's nothing wrong with living like that ... so believe in me . please . '

an empty thanks would never be enough . ' --- i want to meet you at least halfway . '

[unma]

Saw the Epilogue for Liar Satsuki just now and yeah no, I was coping when I thought it'd make things better. I still can't believe Akira and Satsuki didn't end up together. After EVERYTHING these two have been through together. Komachi is not even slightly as relevant for most of the manga, and you can say what you want about both their abilities tying them together thematically and what not, but frankly the entire manga set it up such that Akira x Satsuki was the obvious choice.

[citrusai]

taash said "they were doing it" and people ran with the interpretation of an npc that doesn't know solas or the history of the elvhenan even when bellara interjected and said, no, that's not right. that's not how it was for the elvhenan. they formed bonds before they had physical bodies. and people ran to doompost or create weird anti-solavellan shit even though mythal & solas refer to each other as old friends and when she releases him there is no tenderness or love in it. it is the act of unchaining a dog from his post, the stepping down of a general. but to each their own ig.

[milo-is-rambling]

I forget how much I hate the taste of vodka but the whipped cream vodka is so much better my god

[thewistlingbadger]

Wow guys thank you for all your additions it means a lot to have this conversation sksks. The idea that people would be more receptive to silco and Jinx's relationship if they were both women is so interesting to me, and I think it is true. People seem to be very receptive of the relationship between Mel and her mom even though their relationship is very similar to jinx's relationship with Silco. They're able to understand that Ambessa loved Mel even though she damaged her, but some people really struggle with understanding that Silco was the same way. Some people believe that Silco groomed Jinx to be a weapon but they fail to see how Ambessa canonically DID groom Mel to be a weapon. I definitely think people wouldn't see their (jinx and Silco's) relationship as sexual if they were mother and daughter because in our society it's like once you hit a certain age (or rather begin to look a different way) your relationship with your parents HAS to change because certain things are "no longer appropriate." People see Jinx crawl in Silco's lap and think there's something sexual to that. I see Jinx crawl in Silco's lap and see a daughter who still acts like a little girl with her dad, even though that time has passed. To me it's clear that Jinx's disregard for Silco's space is because their relationship lacks boundaries, and it lacks boundaries because everytime silco tries to show some restraint, jinx ignores him and he really doesn't put up a fight. He does get upset at her he does try to control her but she's so unbothered by it that it makes him just give up.

There's also something about the fact that Jinx is trans coded and Silco is her primary supporter. Silco is the one affirming her identity and helping her transition from "powder" to "jinx" (I'm not saying that Jinx is implied to be trans in the story I'm saying Jinx's story IS trans, if you know you know and if you don't you can ask about it and I'll explain). I think there's a lot of added value to the story when you consider Silco as trans. He's been fighting all his life to be seen a certain way, to be given respect he feels is commonly afforded to others but not to himself, and suddenly when he finally gets it he encounters a little girl. To me in the story it's clear that having Jinx in Silco's life is healing him, like how Isha healed Jinx's inner child Jinx did the same for Silco. It takes a whole new meaning behind "silco saw himself in jinx." Something about a story of a fully transitioned man deciding to raise a little girl because she reminds him of how he used to be...yeah. That hits. That resonates with me.

Also yeah the points about his makeup, his style, his voice being not too low and very soft, him having no sign of facial hair, his build, how the people he's closest with and surrounds himself with are women, etc, does seem very trans. At the bare minimum silco is comfortable with his gender and his expression and masculinity. I also tend to consider his relationship with Felicia. This is pure speculation and indulgence but I see them as brother and sister, the way Silco is brothers with Vander he's also Felicia's brother. I like the idea that he knew Felicia before Vander, that they grew up together and looked out for each other since childhood. That long ago they were sisters. That resonates with me too.

Extra note the way Silco uses makeup is symbolic he's using it to cover his scar, to cover his past because he wants to leave it behind. And he's doing do with a substance that society would consider reserved for women. Silco covers his scar not only for himself but for others. He doesn't want people to see it, to see who he used to be. He wants people to see who he is.

I'm so glad people are finally realizing silco is trans lol

[fingertipsmp3]

I really do think I need to work on the fact that whenever I don’t get enough sleep and/or am prematurely awoken by something I act like a fucking banshee

[sttoru]

‘satoru hates arguments. even more so when your conflicts cause your baby daughter to be upset as well.’

☀︎｜tags. (girl) dad!gojo satoru x female reader. fluff, angst, comfort. mention of arguments between parents. comfort & happy ending, though!

satoru hates having arguments with you. he hates it whenever an argument turns into the silent treatment. he apologises and apologises — yet nothing helps to change your mood sometimes.

ever since you got married and had your daughter, you were a bit more sensitive to the smallest of things than usual. it wasn’t like satoru despised you for it; in fact, he understands that motherhood was and is stressful. that man was nothing but supportive to you.

though, your little arguments were indirectly having an impact on the mental state of your baby. you didn’t even know an one year old could sense the tension between her parents.

“mama, mama!” your daughter appears out of nowhere, waddling over to you standing in the kitchen. she had barely just learnt how to walk. her tiny hand reaches for yours and she points at the doorway with her other, “go, mama, go.”

you curiously let your little girl lead you towards where she was pointing at, only to arrive at the living room. satoru was sitting on the couch, idly staring at the ceiling, other hand fiddling with one of your daughter’s toys. he seemed deep in thought. even exhausted and clearly not his playful self.

“mama, go! mama go papa.”

satoru’s head turns to the side at the cute sound of his favourite little girl. he smiles brightly at her return to the living room, only for his smile to fade just for a second at the sight of you next to her. he isn’t mad at you—more like sad that you still seemed upset with him.

your daughter tugs at your index finger. she apparently wants you to go to her dad—wants you to interact or talk with him. her big eyes were staring up at you with a pleading look in them.

you were in a dilemma. of course, you wanted to put your daughter’s mind at ease. you could just fake interact with satoru—or actually just make it up—but there was still a small part of you that needed time alone. you weren’t yet mentally ready for another confrontation. you needed time to think it out.

however, part of you also knows that your earlier argument was kind of silly. you don’t even fully remember what it was about, that’s how irrelevant it was to your brain.

“c’mon, pumpkin. ‘tis not nice for you to bother mama while she’s cooking.” satoru’s soft voice startles you back to reality. he had already gotten up and crouched down to pick your daughter up in his arms, kissing her chubby cheeks to distract her; “mama’s busy, ‘kay? let’s go play with papa.”

even satoru knew that your argument had caused your little girl to feel some kind of stress. she didn’t fully comprehend the situation, though she was clearly uncomfortable by the fact that her parents were not acting nice and lovey dovey like they usually would.

“no, papa. mama!” the baby whines and points at you and then at satoru, her little legs kicking. it absolutely broke satoru’s heart — shattered it into pieces. oh, how he wishes to never fight with you again. the sight of his little bundle of joy trying to mend things between you two with all she could was simply too much.

satoru looks down at you and notices the way you look at your one year old as well. the same way he did; with guilt and sadness. he sighs softly and without further thought, wraps his free arm around your shoulders and brings you close to his body.

“c’mere,” satoru murmurs as he holds both your daughter and you to his chest, “let me hold my two girls, yeah? may i, sweetheart? please.”

your husband asks for your consent. if you were okay with this—even when he needs it desperately, to hold you again in his arms and to make it right to you—your comfort comes first. if you weren’t ready yet to make up, he’d let you go. even if it’d hurt him immensely.

you don’t answer with your words and instead let your actions do the talking. you wrap one arm around satoru’s torso, the other cradling your daughter closer to both you and him.

it was like nothing mattered anymore in that moment, except for your little family. your worries, stress and anxiety about everything and anything had vanished into thin air as you felt the embrace of the two people you held dear.

your daughter finally giggles—a sound satoru and you had greatly missed. you close your eyes and just rest against your husband’s body.

“mama papa, wuv!” the little girl squeals in happiness as she excitedly babbles on, causing both satoru and you to laugh as well. the white-haired sorcerer leaves a big peck on the baby’s forehead before doing the same to you.

“mhm, papa loves mama veeery much.” satoru hums and kisses your forehead again, solely because he missed being affectionate to you, “papa loves his sweet little angel too.”

you can’t help but chuckle along with your one year old—who seemed to be extremely content in her parents’ loving embrace again. this is how it always should be.

“mama also loves papa very much.” you reply, causing your husband to regain his usual big grin. he finally got what he longed for; to have you look and talk to him with love. your silence may have lasted only a few hours, but it felt like it had been a couple cruel months to the sorcerer.

your eyes meet his again and all was well. you smile at him and he smiles back before leaning in to kiss you gently on the lips. satoru’s arm that was draped over your shoulder moves down to curl around your lower back, pulling you as close to him as your bodies would allow.

he pulls back after a few seconds and just lovingly stares at your face again—eyes holding an affection only you had ever been able to witness. your eyes told the same story; nothing could separate you two. ever.

“waaaaah! mama papa, me, me!”

the romantic air between you two suddenly gets interrupted by your daughter’s excited demands. she was demanding kisses as well, puffing her cheeks up as she got ready for it.

“ohh? seems like our angel wants some kisses too.” satoru laughs and nods his head at the baby in his other arm whilst looking at you, “shall we?”

you giggle and nod back—not able to refuse your little girl any longer.

it was not long before the living room fills with the sounds of your child’s laughter, which was caused by the continuous kisses and tickles she was receiving from both satoru and you.

[a-b-riddle]

Part Four

Can't stop thinking about reader losing her cool.

"So we're closed, John." You said, trying to be cordial.

"Is that all you have to fucking say?" He practically growled before huffing. A humorless chuckle rumbling out of his chest. "I suppose not since you won't respond to any of us."

"Don't do that." You said taking a step back. Trying to create some distance between you and him. John would never physically hurt you. That much you knew.

"What?" He asked. His voice rising as he stepped closer to you. "Be angry that you pulled that shit and then left? Stopped talking to us. Changed your fucking locks. Last thing we even knew about you was that you got on a fucking plane and left. Even your friends wouldn't tell us anything besides that you were okay." "Which considering this came out of bloody nowhere, I find it highly unlikely that you are in any way 'okay'."

You took a deep breath. You wouldn't be intimidated. You wouldn't clam up. You wouldn't cry. You won't go back on your decision. You will be cordial and polite and not unleash everything you want to.

"I understand you might be upset, but it's for the best. It wasn't working out and I wanted to end on somewhat good terms. I would appreciate it if you lowered your voice and stopped speaking to me in that way." You could barely recognize your voice. It sounded so scripted. So robotic. But it was something you had been telling yourself. Excuses you had been telling yourself.

Because if you told yourself the truth. The picture you would paint would tell a different story. It wouldn't highlight the fact that John spoke to you like he was one of your men or that Johnny had the emotional capacity of a teaspoon. It wouldn't show what a flake Kyle was or that Simon was well and truly a mean-spirited person.

It would show how you weren't worth it. Four possible men. Four possibilities of happily ever after and none of them chose you. That no one ever did and no one ever would. You weren't worth it. You weren't loveable.

It wasn't right, but it was what the voices had been telling you late in the night. When you would crawl into your cold bed. The silence of the room not filled with John's steady breathing or the sound of Kyle's heartbeat as you laid you head on his chest. The absence of Johnny's occasional snoring or whatever Simon was watching playing in the background of your dreams.

In the void, all your dark thoughts came back at you.

"Upset?" He asked, his voice still louder than you would have liked. "An understatement considering the stunt you pulled."

"You think it was a stunt?"

"So Johnny thought with his dick and didn't plan things out. You should have told him instead of crying to Simon and then pulling this shit." "Christ, I knew you were still young, but I didn't take you for that immature."

"You know what?" "I'm done." "I am so fucking sick of making excuses for you all." "You want to act like I'm the immature one, John?" "You are 35-year-old man who cannot separate his work from his work like. You have continuously talked to and down to me like I am one of your men, only to turn around and always blame your shitty fucking attitude on work. I get that your job is stressful, but I did not sign up to be your verbal fucking punching bag."

"And this come and fucking go incident with Johnny. It has been a consistent issue with him coming over just to fuck. I've asked him for that last six months that 'hey, we've been seeing each other for a year and a half, I would love to meet your family' and suddenly the dates stop. He doesn't ask to see me until after 7 PM. He brings food occasionally, fucks me and leaves. Sometimes before I even wake up."

"And the only reason Kyle is the person I am the least pissed off with is because I haven't even seen him." You took a step closer, not noticing how the anger in John's eyes had softened. "I have not seen Kyle in weeks, to no fault of my own. I stopped reaching out to make dinner plans after the third time he canceled on a date night when I was either on my way or already at the restaurant."

"And Simon?" You scoffed. "Well, it doesn't really matter. After all, as he said I get mine. You all make me cum which is supposed to magically erase how shitty you've all been as partners. It's supposed to erase the nights I've cried myself to sleep debating on whether or not there was something wrong with me. How I'm not good enough to meet anyone else in your lives like some dirty fucking secret. How none of you can even bother to pencil me for a group dinner so I can tell you a publishing house picked up my book. How at some point you all stopped caring or maybe never did."

You took a breath. Blinking quickly to keep the tears at bay.

You wouldn't cry. You wouldn't cry.

"As Simon said it best, I should have known that spreading my legs wouldn’t end with one of you putting a ring on your finger.”

For once, John was silent. Unsure of what to say. An apology starting to form at the tip of his tongue before realizing 'sorry' wouldn't cut it. Not this time.

Had he really been that sharp with you? He knew that there were times he had gotten short, but he almost always apologized immediately after. If not at the very moment he took in your crest-fallen face, then definitely later. But he almost always told you he was sorry. Didn't he?

"So as I said," you swallowed down the lump in your throat. "I'm closed. We're done. Now get out." Your face held no sadness. Even though your eyes were nearly full to the brim with unshed tears, you weren't sad.

You were finally angry.

[5sospenguinqueen]

Talk About A Celebration | Franco Colapinto x Reader

Summary: Fans are endeared by your relationship with Franco. Although, it doesn’t take long to discover that his announcement to F1 had more exciting results for the long-term couple

Warnings: Fluff. Pregnancy. Suggesitve comments. Had to adjust the timeline slightly to make this work 

Requested: Yes by anon

F1 Masterlist

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

AUG 2024

williamsracing just posted

liked by francolapinto, f1 and others

williamsracing franco colapinto to race for the reminder of the 2024 season, alongside alex albon

20,234 comments

its_yn if anyone can hear screaming, yes, that is me

user1 i cannot wait for everyone to finally understand how great yn is 

→ user2 i can. i fear we need to gatekeep franco and yn

francolapinto thank you so much for this opportunity 

→ its_yn don’t pretend to be calm. you’re going to meet THE lewis hamilton. i know you’re freaking out inside

→ user3 who is this and why is she all over the post 

→ user4 oh dear. we have to deal with the f1 girlies not knowing who yn is 

alex_albon welcome to the team! 

user5 where have williams been hiding him?! 

user6 oh, well hello there

officialmpmotorsport they’re your problem now

→ user7 what does this mean?

→ its_yn rude 

user8 i was upset when i heard logan was being replaced but i think i might be able to forgive this

lilymhe @/its_yn i cannot wait to have another williams girl to gossip with 

→ its_yn i can’t wait to have a conversation with someone that isn’t about tyres

→ francolapinto you said you loved my tyre talk :(

user9 quick update for those who don’t follow f2. yn is franco’s girlfriend. has been since they were 15. no, she’s not a gold digger. no, she’s not with him because he’s an f1 driver. and the biggest no, he will not date you because he is down bad for his girl

its_yn just posted

liked by alex_albon, olliebearman and others

its_yn my baby is finally an f1 driver! i’m so proud of you, franco. this is everything you’ve dreamed of 🩵

9,789 comments

francolapinto i love you so much cariño

francolapinto i can’t wait to celebrate with you later ;) 

→ williamsracing we’re going to have to media train you, aren’t we?

→ user10 no! don’t take him away from us 

user11 not her posting the most boyfriend coded pics of him

dennis_hauger i’m just so glad it means i escape having pics of me taken whilst i nap

→ its_yn oh, hun. i will literally see you in monza

→ dennis_hauger crap

user12 i acc can’t wait to watch yn terrorise the f1 grid like she did the f2 grid 

→ its_yn i didn’t terrorise anyone. i was making friends

olliebearman i thought i was getting rid of you! why are you following me

→ francolapinto don’t be like that. i know you missed me

→ user13 i’ve seen enough. get this man a seat for 2025

alex_albon i’m not sure i want you in the garage anymore. it sounds like you terrorise teammates

→ lilymhe i’m so excited! 

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

SEP 2024

williamsracing just posted

liked by francolapinto, charles_leclerc and others

williamsracing scored his first ever points in formula 1, in only his second race. ladies and gentleman, franco colapinto

13,432 comments

user1 okay but the way he kissed yn and spun her around after he come out of parc ferme

user2 franco has been serving this weekend. both with boyfriend material and points

→ user3 yes! the way he’s had a hand on yn all weekend? we love a protective boyfriend 

its_yn what an amazing day for our williams boys! 

→ lilymhe my ears are still ringing from your screams

→ its_yn don’t act like you weren’t jumping up and down with me

→ francolapinto you were jumping?! you promised to rest

user4 i had my doubts but this little flirt has blown me away

user5 i’ve seen enough. franco colapinto for wdc 2025 liked by its_yn

alex_albon i’m still deeply hurt that you won’t come out and celebrate with us

→ francolapinto yes, but yn won’t be drinking tonight so we wouldn’t be much fun

→ its_yn oh yeah, blame me. i’m the fun sucker 

→ user6 i bet she’ll be sucking something tonight liked by francolapinto

user7 franco is so unhinged and i love him for it

user8 i can’t believe franco isn’t able to celebrate his points because his gf said so 

→ user9 actually, i don’t think she’s very well and franco is taking care of her, like a caring boyfriend does

→ user10 yeah apparently she was throwing up before the race 

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

JAN 2025

its_yn just posted

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its_yn baby colapinto coming to a paddock near you in may 2025 

10,234 comments

user1 she is so iconic haha 

user2 omg she’s pregnant?! i just died 

user3 literal mother

williamsracing congratulations, you two! putting in a request for baby headphones right now

user4 every time these two post, i’m reminded of how chronically single i am

→ user5 because imagine falling in love at 15 and then being with that one person for life 

→ user6 poor girl has never had another dick

→ francolapinto and she never will! 

lilymhe this post has been up for two minutes and i’ve already bought 5 baby things

→ alex_albon she’s not joking

→ user7 alex and lily taking uncle/aunt role seriously 

user8 wait, if she’s due in may, that means she’s currently 5 months pregnant

→ user8 which means she got pregnant in august. what happened in august? colapinto’s f1 seat was announced! 

→ user9 aha it’s a celebration baby 

→ its_yn @/francolapinto i told you they’d figure it out. they put it together when kevin got pole 

user10 omg! franco is gonna be a dilf 

→ francolapinto @/its_yn pay up

→ its_yn you’re not hot enough to be a dilf

→ francolapinto that’s not what you said when i was getting you pregnant 

→ williamsracing you know, now that you’re with us for the 2025 season, we’re going to have to media train you

francolapinto just posted

liked by logansargeant, kimi.antonelli and others

francolapinto not long now 

17,436 comments

alex_albon can’t believe it’s a boy. poor yn has to deal with two of you 

→ francolapinto if it isn’t broken, no need to fix it 

officialmpmotorsport what do you mean williams get to enjoy baby colapinto and we don’t? give him back! 

user1 the kiss with the blue background? cinematic masterpiece

→ its_yn thank you. i’ve been training him since he was 15. he’s still a work in progress though

→ francolapinto oi! 

user2 yn gives off such boy mom vibes

→ its_yn that’s because i’ve been trying to talk franco out of danger for years 

williamsracing cake? you’re supposed to be staying in shape! 

→ francolapinto i’ve been doing a lot of cardio 

→ user3 yeah, we all know what that means, sir

its_yn i’m still mad at you for scooping your cake out faster than i did

→ francolapinto i’m sorry! i got too excited and i moved as soon as you said go

→ user4 oh bless him. his super fast reaction time got him into trouble

→ its_yn his lack of super fast reaction time is what got me pregnant 

→ williamsracing we saw that! media training for you too

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

its_yn just posted

liked by alexandrasaintmleux, dennis_hauger and others

its_yn matias william colapinto

10,034 comments

alex_albon oh wow. are you sure that baby is half franco? he’s too cute 

→ its_yn well, i did all the work

user5 did franco pick his middle name?

→ its_yn yes -_-

→ williamsracing we approve

→ francolapinto come on, they are the reason we have the baby

user6 milf yn! 

→ its_yn finally! 

lewishamilton congratulations mum and dad. he’s adorable

→ its_yn @/francolapinto i heard you scream from the other side of the house

→ user7 i love how he’s been on the grid for months now and become a father but still hasn’t gotten over his awe for lewis 

user8 i sense a franco colapinto maiden win coming this year with his new lucky charm

→ user9 and with it another baby haha

→ its_yn no, thank you

→ francolapinto yes, please

user10 franco about to make his own f1 grid liked by francolapinto

→ its_yn franco! stop liking all these posts about more babies! 

→ francolapinto can we practice at least? 

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

requests open! (but slow)

tag list

@peachiicherries @rosecentury @c-losur3 @heavy-vettel @evie-119 @raizelchrysanderoctavius @lilorose25 @sillyfreakfanparty

[yamujiburo]

Here's an arc I thought about doing but won't do because, it'd be a bit too sad and also it's too similar to the Turing Point Arc I already did and also it would be long. But I'll write it here for you angst enjoyers. This ended up being longer than I thought.

Despite getting the "okay" from Ash to date Jessie, Delia still worries that she's not doing the right thing or being a bad mom. Up until now she'd convinced herself that she had the right to be selfish for once after knowing only sacrifice and putting herself last.

Jessie and Ash, while not as antagonistic towards each other, still go at it. A Pikachu zap here, an angry "twerp" being uttered there. The guilt settles in for Delia and figures that it's best to just cut things off before things potentially get worse or before she gets too attached to Jessie. Her son comes first after all. That's what she signed up for when becoming a parent.

She sits Jessie down, eyes watery (it's the first time Jessie's ever seen Delia come close to crying). Delia says she thinks they should end things. Jessie is stunned but accepts it quickly. She sucks it up in the moment, puts a resigned smile on her face and tells Delia she'll leave immediately and not to worry about her. Delia's also broken up about it but promised herself she'd never cry over a goodbye and she wasn't gonna start now.

Jessie goes to James and Meowth's place greeted similarly to this, lightly teasing her about blowing it with Delia, and she breaks down sobbing. Oops it's real this time. James and Meowth do everything in their power to make her feel better. They let her know that things like this happen and they're ready to go wherever she wants to go (knowing that it'd likely be to painful for her to stay in Pallet). As much as she wants to leave, she doesn't want James and Meowth to lose the good thing they have going. She's not in the right headspace to make any decisions so she'll get to it later.

Ash returns home after doing a little training at Oak's lab. He notices Jessie's not around and asks his mom where she is. Delia is about to tell him but can't quite bring herself to say the truth out loud yet. She simply says "I don't know". Ash looks disappointed. "Aw man, I wanted to see if she wanted to battle. She makes a good battle buddy for all of my newer, baby Pokémon." Delia perks up that this. As quickly as he came, he leaves again to go train his Pokémon.

Later, Delia approaches Ash, asking him if he really meant that what he said about Jessie being a good battle partner. He gives her an enthusiastic "yeah!" and tells her that it's been nice having another battle ready trainer around since there's not many in Pallet. Delia starts to pry a little more. "I thought you and Jessie didn't get along?" Ash is confused, and tells Delia they get along great! "Jessie doesn't steal anymore! And she's getting better at battling which is cool." Delia brings up that she's head them argue before. "Oh... well I guess that's just how we are. I'd be weirded out if she was suddenly too nice to me all the time. Jessie's actually a lot like Misty. But taller!" This gives Delia a lot to think about but what's done is done and it's no use pressing on. It's easier this way.

The next morning Delia's getting ready for work. She must not have noticed that she was acting weird but Ash picks up on it. "What's wrong mom?" Delia's shocked he noticed (he's not usually this perceptive). She tells him it's nothing and that she just slept bad. "Hm. But Jessie says that when you're upset you get really quiet and intense." Delia notices that she was pretty intensely mixing the pancake batter. "Jessie told you that?" Ash nods. "Hey speaking of, where is Jessie? Haven't seen her since yesterday." Delia stops mixing and tells Ash that she and Jessie aren't together anymore. Ash is confused and upset at the idea of Jessie doing something that would hurt his mom enough for them to break up. Delia lets him know that Jessie didn't do anything like that and that them breaking up was just for the best. But Ash questions this, pointing out that he's never seen Delia as happy as she was when Jessie was there and also how Delia looks really sad now. Delia can't argue with that but then tells him that it's complicated. Ash, to Delia's surprise, looks a bit disappointed. He's bummed he wasn't able to say goodbye first and asks if she thinks Jessie would still be willing to come by and train with him sometimes. Delia asks him once more if he was really okay with her and Jessie dating. "Yeah I thought I said that already? Jessie's pretty cool when she's not being evil. And she really likes Pokémon which is a plus!" Such simple criteria. Delia's now worried that she might've made a mistake. She finishes making breakfast and heads to work.

At the restaurant she's met by James. She can feel an awkwardness hanging in the air. She knows that James knows. Before she can say anything James tells Delia thank you for employing him and helping him, Meowth and Jessie get back on their feet but that he's going to quit working at the restaurant and that they'll likely be leaving Pallet soon. Delia's heart sinks. There's now a ticking clock and she has to decide what she wants to do SOON. She asks James where Jessie is. James hesitantly tells her that she's at his and Meowth's place. Delia pleads with James to work the restaurant for one more day at least and to cover this shift. She has to go talk to Jessie. He agrees, hoping that this is a good thing.

Delia runs to James and Meowth's place. She knocks on the door upon arrival and waits. It takes a moment but she hears the door unlock. Jessie opens the door, disheveled, tears and snot all over her face, draped in a blanket. Jessie notices it's Delia and, frightened, slams the door. Delia's stunned for a moment and goes to knock on the door again but before she can the door opens. This time Jessie's tears are gone, her hair's fixed and she ditched the blanket. "Oh hey, Delia! What brings you here?" Delia can't help but be charmed. But this is serious. She shakes it off and asks if they could talk. Jessie invites her in. They get to the couch and Jessie starts frantically cleaning up all the crumpled tissues and dirty dishes off the ground. "Heh I caught a cold yesterday. A one day cold. I'm fine now." Delia doesn't call out the obvious lie and gets straight to the point.

She tells Jessie that she's worried she made a mistake. She made a panicked decision that she was hoping would protect Ash and her future self. But now realizes that she was afraid of the idea that she'd made a selfish decision by dating her. It was a selfish decision but that didn't mean it was a bad one. She was the happiest she'd been, Jessie and Ash were learning to get along and were getting along much better than she'd though. She acknowledges that Jessie has been there for Ash in a way that she can't quite be and is also grateful to her for managing to keep Ash home a little longer. She asks if Jessie would be willing to take her back (despite the distress she caused). Jessie starts sobbing with happy tears. She tearfully says she'll try even harder to get along with Ash and be a better person. Delia reassures her that she's doing just fine.

They kiss passionately but then realize it's weird that they're making out in James in Meowth's place and say they'll continue later. Delia tells Jessie to head back home and that Ash is looking forward to battling with her (and she also needs to let James and Meowth not to quit their jobs).

The end~