#i'm just a girl after all
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I need to get this off my chest
I realize writing a series is very time-consuming, especially writing one with twenty parts where each part has like 3-4k words (crazy, i know). What I learned about writing a long fiction is you have to be consistent. And sure, no one should pressure themselves, but I do wish it didn't take me eight months to finish something that could've been completed in less time.
I know I shouldn't be too hard on myself, after all, I write on my own free will. But yeah, I feel like if I had consistently updated, it would've been better. Or had better feedback? Idk. I wonder if any fellow writers ever felt this way or is this just a me problem?
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confession time i have actually never watched any of danny's rig rundowns bc i know i'll overdose on danny so i just wait for the gifsets and reaction posts to flood the dash 😌
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one thing about me is that i WILL have a man carry my stuff whenever possible. especially when unnecessary. ..am singlehandedly setting feminists back centuries but best believe I'm. not lifting that
#thing is‚ my brothers are useless and if they know that I can lift it they'll leave me to it#if my older brothers friends are around tho they got me set#cases of water‚ heavy but fairly manageable bags‚ groceries etc that is not for me#I'm just a girl after all#kirastfu
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Kate Bishop & Yelena Belova Vampire!AU
"She looked so pretty like the Devil."
#hawkeye#black widow#kate bishop#yelena belova#kate bishop x yelena belova#yelena belova x kate bishop#bishova#hailee steinfeld#florence pugh#sinners (2025)#vampire kate bishop#***#is it really an AU if your mother was murdered by your dad and then was resurrected as a half-vampire?#vampire hunter!yelena hunting down an evil vampire katie-kate???#it's family business after all#yelena relents and learns to compromise because i guess kate's Just eating boys (and drinking but not draining girls)#the way I'm too seated for sinners is terrifying the staff at the cinema#do NOT ask me how long it took me to colour match this on a colour inaccurate screen
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Hey, don't cry. Ghost yuri, okay?
(Now that you know the girls, they need to meet the boys!)
#payneland#edwin x charles#dead boy detectives#dbda#fem payneland#although technically as everyone is the opposite gender their last names should be different#OKAY you know the drill u get fanart and i get to ramble about it#Edith wears pants now#this pains me because i love drawing skirts but after she escaped hell#she met charlotte who made an offhand comment about how it's easier to move with pants#and edith who just spent 70 years running in hell went wait a tick#she feels safer that way is what i'm saying#interesting because as you can see she wore a skirt to confess and we know how THAT went but anyway#charlotte's mom was abusive of course#and she forced her to practice ballet despite charlotte being interested in a lot of other sports#she did fairly well at ballet but this means no cricket bat :(#i know we all love butch fem charles but as he's mostly gender conforming i decided to not do that#no reason for the bracelets but as i wanted to give her a choker i thought they would combine with the earrings#crystal is still crystal because his parents are weird artists who like stupid names#niko though... i don't know what to name him#dead girl detectives
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❤️🖤🩷
Wuthering Waves has taken over all of my free time recently, so here's a sketch of Scar!Ren I originally shared in da 14DWY Discord!!
#14 days with you#to be tagged later#Sometimes a team is just Sephiroth; some random flower girl; and a dragoon from FFXIV#Like....... Look me in my eyes and tell me that one of Jiyan's abilities isn't just stardiver /silly#Anyways!! Sharing dis on my main only because it's just a sketch and doesn't feel ''official'' enough for da 14DWY blog#If I come back to this piece + retouch/put more effort into it maybe I'll reupload it there instead#But ya!! Any inconsistencies in Scar's outfit is because I was too busy staring at Taoqi <3#There was also absolutely no rhyme or reason as to why I drew Ren as Scar specifically too—#—Other than the fact that he WOULD rock da onigiri strip (RIP T_T) /ij /silly#Plus I was going to draw [REDACTED] as (WUWA SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!!!) Geshu but?? Babes I don't think the timeline works out??#I really saw the marks in the same spot and was like “oh!! they're the same person :3” LIKE GIRL NO?? This is what happens when you skip cs#Geshu is still my number 1 next to Taoqi though (in terms of design) <3 I have a type teehee#Mayhaps I will draw [REDACTED] after all...... (It's currently 3pm and I'm nowhere near my tablet)#Also also!! A treat for those who've read this far: Day 3.5 will be made public very soon!! It's pride month n I wanna celebrate—#—With everyone's fave demi/pansexual enby (who sometimes does a bit of stalking) (as a treat) (he's a yandere)#Violet's birthday is also June 10!! Early birthday gift!! Yippeee!!#Ok I'll shuddup now <3
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Jayce and the fallacy of the butterfly effect in Arcane's narrative
If Jayce's symbol is the butterfly, then my theory is that we're going into a full "butterfly effect" narrative in Act 2. Either we'll watch it happen, or we'll only see Jayce come out the other side of it changed by the experience, knowing - or more importantly, THINKING he knows - what to do to change the future. Literally, to "defend tomorrow."
tl;dr: Jayce will encounter the butterfly effect in season 2. Viktor and Mel both foreshadowed this in season 1. I think Jayce will fixate on Viktor and will believe that stopping or changing Viktor either in the past or the present - most likely the present - will mean he can save the future. I believe this will lead to an even worse tragedy and may have the same effect as a self-fulfilling prophecy. Ekko's approach to changing the future by sticking closer to the present - considering only tiny increments of time to alter more immediate future outcomes - will be the superior approach. I also think that Jayce attempting to change the future will create the conditions that push Viktor to become the Machine Herald.
One of the most common reactions even the casual viewer had to Arcane season 1 was this: "If [character] had just done this one small thing a little differently, [tragic event] wouldn't have happened!"
Arcane has been called a Greek tragedy for the main reason that because of how well built up the characters' personalities and reasonings are, there's no other way season 1 could have gone. There was no stopping the multiple tragedies that occurred, because with one event leading to another, the chain of seemingly inevitable events goes too far back to identify what one singular event caused everything, what one character made what one decision to put our characters on the terrible paths they walked.
Arcane is about to investigate this idea in its own narrative, and I think that Jayce will be the character to stumble into the flawed idea that you can change one event, or stop one character, and change the future for the better. This is because Jayce struggles with a few very interesting character flaws, one of them being that he believes himself to be the main character, and it is therefore his responsibility to intervene, be a hero, and fix things.
Viktor and Mel both foreshadow Jayce's future encounter with the butterfly effect.
Recall that Viktor said: "There is always a choice."
Jayce sees choices in black and white, believes that he has no other options but to go along with what he's persuaded and pushed into, and acts too boldly with too much power multiple times.
Recall that Mel said: "We can't change what fate has in store for us, but we don't have to face it alone."
Jayce tries to solve big problems on his own, and though he delegates to Enforcers and the like, Jayce relies on his reasoning and his alone to make important decisions if he doesn't simply become persuaded - usually through strong emotions like fear - by other characters. In addition, since Mel is specifically talking about Viktor's plight here, it's worth mentioning that while Jayce did say that he would help Viktor in acts 2 and 3 of season 1, Jayce does wind up leaving Viktor to face his fate alone. When Jayce tries to change that fate in s2 ep1, ep2 shows that only tragedy can come of this as well.
Viktor and Mel's statements here are not contradictory. Viktor makes the point that you can always make a choice. In context, he's literally referring to the classic "secret third option," because given a choice between aggression and passivity, war and surrender, Viktor chooses to defuse the bomb instead. Mel, interestingly, seems to believe that destiny is fixed in a broad sense, and she operates as a politician and diplomat and investor who navigates that line of destiny in the most optimal way possible. In reality, in context, she is referring to the fact that Viktor can't change the way he was born and so he has no way to change his fate and therefore must face it, which is true - she's only missing the information that Viktor actually does have the means to change his illness and his body. Her wisdom still applies however, because he'll have to accept the hand that fate deals him after he makes that choice. Will he face it alone, or not?
There is always a choice, there's even secret third options, because having a fate doesn't mean that you are doomed to make only one possible series of choices. What it does mean is that each choice comes with a hand that fate deals you. It is impossible to know what all of these branching choices and consequences are in advance, and it is just as impossible in hindsight - the branches are too complex and the end outcomes are all equally meaningful, just different. If Arcane season 2 is to be a tragedy, it may show us that each possible outcome is still tragic if you fall for the fallacy of the butterfly effect.
Jayce is counseled by some of the wisest, cleverest characters with the deepest life experiences in Arcane, but he hardly ever takes that counsel to heart. If he does, he still acts on that counsel in flawed ways that have unintended consequences. This will come to a head in season 2.
Viktor and Jayce both have a butterfly following them around in season 1. The butterfly effect refers to one small seemingly insignificant event changing the course of history, and changing that event therefore changes history. Viktor bled over the railing of a Hexgate in season 1:
And Heimerdinger sees what we can only assume is Viktor's blood contaminating (?) the Hexgate in s2 ep3:
This might be the seemingly unimportant "inciting incident" that Jayce (and Heimerdinger and Ekko) settle on as something that should be avoided or erased by changing the past (if they time-travel with Ekko, for example).
I doubt that, if this is what this crew chooses to fixate on, it will be the only event that is considered as something to change. But let's take this and run with it for the sake of discussion.
As silly as it sounds, how do you stop Viktor from allowing his blood to come into contact with the arcane? Stop Viktor's involvement with the Academy entirely? Don't invent Hextech at all? But what if someone else invents Hextech besides Jayce? What if future tragedy befalls Piltover because it didn't invent Hextech?
The possibilities and what-ifs could branch on forever. But because Jayce is who he is, and because his tragedy with Viktor is still raw and recent and frightening, I think Jayce's butterfly effect experience will have to do with Viktor.
My personal prediction is that the timeskip between s2 ep3 and ep4 will be Jayce experiencing a timeline where Viktor, taken over by the Hexcore, brings about an apocalyptic event similar to what Heimerdinger experienced in his past. Either Jayce and co. can't go into the past to change the present, or Heimerdinger and/or Ekko advise strongly against it to avoid a paradox. This will lead to them re-entering the canon Arcane timeline before this apocalypse, but still after the timeskip. Jayce, believing that destroying Viktor and his cult will save the future, and believing that resurrecting Viktor was Jayce's mistake to fix, attacks him. But the consequences don't unfold the way he hopes, because trying to change fate once the cards have already been dealt has led to tragedy before.
The butterfly is a symbol of something other than just the butterfly effect - change, evolution, and rebirth. If the butterfly symbolizes the butterfly effect for Jayce, then I think it has a different meaning for Viktor - the change and rebirth meaning.
I've always found it very interesting that we see a similar-looking butterfly on Progress Day... but made of metal.
Every time Viktor's situation changes, he adapts and evolves. If Jayce attacks him, if his cult is destroyed, if the Hexcore is causing Viktor to decay, if all of these things happen at once - he'll just evolve again, and I think the Machine Herald is the next step. And the Machine Herald will be a triumph for Viktor, but Jayce will believe that he's created something even worse. The resulting feud will be a personal nightmare for both of them.
I think this still allows Viktor to use his own agency to choose to become the Machine Herald (the MH will probably be the "secret third option" that saves Viktor, or there will be a secret third option that ends the feud) while still allowing Jayce to be offended and horrified at whatever the Machine Herald represents or is trying to do in the undercity. Introducing the element of time travel allows Arcane to explore the meta concept of tragedy and fate that season 1 was built on while showing that you can't "solve" a tragedy, because there are other terrible possibilities lurking behind alternate choices. Especially if what you're trying to change is singular people or events and not systems of power.
This is why Ekko's approach with his Z-drive will be superior to Jayce's sweeping attempt at changing the future. Ekko's goal has always been societal change. He creates his own punk society in the undercity, more progressive and successful than anything Vander or Silco ever created, and a better bastion of safety, hope, and progress than what Heimerdinger founded in Piltover. Trying to change systems by going back in time is most likely futile. But taking what Ekko has already built in the Firelights, curing his tree, and fighting for the Firelights' survival bit by bit by optimizing the present with the Z-drive shows that:
It's more worth it to focus on becoming wise (Ekko's mask is an owl) and making choices you won't regret
It's best if you don't face your fate alone (act as a collective and take care of each other)
Consider every option, not just the obvious black and white choices
Maintain and fix what you've already built instead of abandoning it once things get difficult
Adapt as needed if the choices you made lead to dark consequences, and once again, stick together and take care of each other when the bad times do come
That's my Act 2 but, ultimately, my season 2 prediction based on the butterfly symbolism we've already seen. Ekko's involvement is what will give the series the at least partial happy ending that the creators have referred to. I personally don't think that the Viktor/Jayce feud will end quite so well, but maybe, they will still survive.
#arcane#spoilers#arcane s2#arcane spoilers#jayce talis#ekko#viktor#viktor arcane#long post#meta#jayvik#arcane meta#heimerdinger#I'm positive that Mel will be deeply involved with this too considering her comments on fate#honestly the thought of her being caught in the Viktor/Jayce feud is terrible to contemplate so I'm just gonna pray for my girl#I did not like the time travel implications when i first watched act 1 but after thinking about this i feel way better about it#Another reason I think this will come down to Viktor is because Heimerdinger has distrusted Viktor since season 1 and he will focus on him#Ekko will see the faults in focusing on one person#Jayce is least likely to survive all this considering how fast the consequences of his actions are catching up with him#but there could also be a chance here of viktor choosing to spare him - if only to curse him with the Defender/Herald feud forever idk#anyway i am feral for season 2 so far can't you tell
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I would find Blondie Lockes very annoying in real life, but I love her in fiction. She's a genuinely good journalist in terms of both skill and ethical integrity, who only occasionally forgets to check the facts because she's fifteen and holds herself accountable when she does. She has incredibly high standards for everything and believes herself to be the ultimate authority on quality. She has magical lockpicking powers because her fairytale is about Goldilocks breaking into a house. She somehow completely ignores the story's moral that Goldilocks was wrong to break into the house, feels entitled to go wherever and help herself to whatever she's able to and cannot comprehend why people dislike this. She's been terrorizing an anthropomorphic bear family with her cheerful disrespect for privacy and is convinced that they love her. She has a non-anthropomorphic pet baby bear. Her motivation is dependence on external approval rooted in deeply internalized classism. She's desperate to be useful and important to those with higher social status and feels the need to lie that her family is technically royalty to fit in with her royal friends, even though they treat commoners like equals all the time. She positions herself as a conduit of true greatness; closer to it than the masses, but never the hero, always reporting on other people and evaluating what they've done. Because what she's done isn't enough to be worthwhile. What she is isn't enough. But this performative lifestyle makes her anxious about being judged as a fraud and an interloper, and ashamed of selfishly transgressing against social norms. Her microphone head looks like an adorable little bear head. That's one hex of a character alright.
#most of the time she's so fun and silly and happy#but every now and then she's like 'yeah i'm totally a princess! basically! don't question it!'#or 'cupid is it wrong that i want to be richer? aren't i pretty much a terrorist if i don't accept the life i'm born into?'#or 'i don't know what to do now that no big events are happening. what is my life without other people making it interesting?'#and then the plot moves on/inspires her to feel better but not stop lying/gives her a big event to get involved in#and i'm like 'GIRL. CAN WE UNPACK THAT?''#i do think shipping her with cupid is poetic as well as just nice and cute#cupid is all about love. if anyone could get it through blondie's head that she unconditionally deserves love attention and validation#no matter what background she's from or how interesting or trendy or 'just right' she or her content is#it would be her#blondie lockes#ever after high#eah
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these are way too gay for me to post on instagram
#smiling friends#gijinka#smiling friends fanart#fanart#art#charlie dompler#allan red#smiling friends alan#pim pimling#smiling friends glep#charlie x alan#i hate how my brain chemicals work sometimes sorry guys#buryingorangesartpile#dont let michael cusack and zach hadel see this i'm just a silly little girl after all#homo iuh homo jauh jauh deh
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Skén:nen sá:sewh
as promised, here's Precious boy™ getting kissed by Precious wife™ because he deserves all the love in the world :cc
translation: Get home safe
#nobody translate the file name#nah but home girl is the strongest soldier let me tell you#imagine date/being married to an assassin fr I would loose my mind#I'm such a sucker for the friends to lovers trope ok hear me out#Girlie is an ally to the assassin's and that's how she meets Connor and they become friends because Ratonhnhaké:ton deserves more friends o#she is VERY smart knows how to stand her ground but also very sweet and funny he respects and admires her a lot and so does she#she's from another displaced kanien'kehá:ka clan they bond really close sooner than later the feeling just blooms everyone's knows but THEM#until prob the recruits and the people in the homestead get tired of these oblivious fools in love and plot to finally get them together#I headcanon Connor didn't settle down completely until they were expecting their first child like they both panicked when they realized#I mean they're already married and stuff but still our girl is all over the place bcs she's scared of something happening to him or the bby#and connor acts cool and leveled on the outside but he's just a whirpool of emotions on the inside as well it's really funny to watch#they probably broke down in tears from both laughter and fear but they are amazing parents we are certain of it :')#I want their dinamic to be like that mainly because Connor deserves some light and laugh in his life after all the things he went through#connor i'm in love with your wife#ratonhnhaké:ton#connor kenway#connor's mistery wife#ac 3#assassin's creed#oc#the way you can tell I almost never draw men just from this sketch 💀#my art
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you want a new kind of guy, fine, i raise you: the lady i was briefly roommates with in college who once smoked a blunt at a party and then spent an hour confessing earnestly to me that she genuinely preferred reading detailed episode recaps over actually watching the tv show in question
#she sounded so remorseful & i just stood staring like an anthropologist watching their phd thesis spontaneously manifest before their eyes#apparently she would watch the pilot episode to get a feel for the characters#and then just read a bunch of recaps & episode reviews instead of watching future episodes. what fresh steaming hell#this conversation took place like a year and a half after we were roommates btw. i had seen her maybe twice in that time period#i thought she was a standard frat girl but then 18 months later she appears in the wild grass to reveal unhinged character background to me#and i'm just standing there nodding feeling like i missed a weird opportunity i did not want or ask for#honestly thought i was the weirdest person in that apartment situation but now i'm wondering what our other 2 roommates were hiding#not my strangest college experience at ALL but like. definitely top 20#this wasn't the same person as Aquarium Girl btw but oddly enough they were roommates actually#(not at the same time that Recaps Lady and i were roommates but at different intervals idk)#anyway i probably should have interviewed at more than one apartment before taking over a sublease but summer sess is a weird time u know#oh and this happened in Hong Kong btw
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Siffrin in a Stardust Cookie event outfit because the name speaks for itself now if you excuse me, I need to sleep
#fanart#my art#artists on tumblr#isat siffrin#isat#isat fanart#siffrin#in stars and time#stardust cookie#because ref is up there!!#I didn't know he has an outfit like that when I first checked that he exists#after getting another outfit and thinking “Siffrin coded!!” without looking at the name#and them proceeding to laugh about it#Siffrin coded Stardust cookie truly beautiful#it's past 4 am I NEED TO SLEEP#but I also wanted to finish this thing#so now I feel like me feeling tired is multiplying at rapid speed#look at him so majestic so beautiful#Loop might be jealous#but I play dress-up with Siffrin for now their turn is not on#i'm sleepy now#anyway good timezone to you all too#Also look at that ponytail#I hate it because I don't know if it would suit him or not#But Stardust Cookie has it SO it's a long haired Siffrin now#He looks like he did a magical girl transformation...#Just imagine
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Maybe the problem with Christian fiction is that it's non-denominational. People are just "Christian", with no effort put into showing what practicing that religion looks like for them specifically. No indication that there are other Christians who could have different beliefs. No wrestling with differing ideas and the struggle of how one should live out their Christian faith. And that makes it unrealistic and unrelatable.
#me reading any christian historical fiction set in england: why are none of these gentry anglican??#they ARE all anglican and if they are not it is extremely plot and character relevant you can't just have them using evangelical buzzwords#but i'm also thinking of this because i started another charlotte yonge book#that is by far my favorite of the things of hers that i've read#because it has characters who have different upbringings and religious opinions#instead of just 'here's a bunch of high church anglicans judging people who don't live up to their victorian standard'#you have the very high church anglican rector whose wife is worldly but still a very good person#the girl raised in a very strict protestant family who is more scrupulous than the anglicans but is still recognized as a good person#you have people who are trying to work out the nuances of different issues#and that makes it so much more realistic and so much easier to integrate into the story#(the politics though are hilarious)#(most of the classics that survive are the ones that were 'ahead of their time' in politics)#(so it's equally fascinating and refreshing and a bit infuriating to see one that is very very of its time with regards to women's rights)#('why did this woman get up at the meeting and explain her very good ideas for rebuilding after the fire? she should have had a man do it')#(meanwhile i'm just screaming 'why on earth SHOULDN'T she???')#(it's almost enough to make a feminist of me)
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shiv's motivations for voting to pass the gojo deal are so layered and i don't think they should be dismissed in favour of any one interpretation. shiv desperately grabbed on to a lifeline for her relationship with tom. shiv was the deciding vote and she couldn't bear to hold the crown only for a moment just to place it atop her brother's head. shiv knew she would have more influence as wife of CEO rather than sister of CEO. shiv absolutely hated seeing kendall crystallize into logan before her eyes, especially when he made roman bleed ("and if we did kill him we get to go to bed") -- succession has always been about siblings so of course she tried to free her brothers before her child. shiv still thinks she can raise her child with all the material benefits of being the daughter of waystar CEO while doing better by her, whatever that means. and all of those things are true
#shiv roy#succession#succession spoilers#ok i'm sleeping#wait i know i just assumed tomshiv baby is a girl but like. i'm right#also i have seen many people say shiv did it purely out of spite and i will say#i don't think they would have had dialogue about shiv saying she's tired and they should all rest#or panned to shiv looking at roman's face fresh with blood#or shown shiv tearing up over her conversation with tom at the beginning of the episode#or had her say 'i cannot stomach you' which has pretty obvious connotations even in the context of succ#or had shiv make up her mind precisely when kendall said the andrew dodds confession was a lie#if her motives weren't meant to be read as ambiguous. they would not have put those things in there without reason#shiv leaving the room may have been impulsive spite but what came after was more complicated#it's also not even wholly altruistic it's just cold admittance that they don't have It. she thinks she does#and i'm not sure why the sentiment that they can't take it but she can surprises anyone#she's literally always seen herself as the exception
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dream job 🔫
#remember that one makeup artist who quit working with bts after falling in love with jimin#yeah that's me with chris#skz#stray kids#bang chan#bangchan#bystay#staydaily#channiesnet#by01ino#I had a vision OKAY#did i fail? yes#so what#SUE ME#all three of those videos are so hard to colour#the billboard one had a whole fucking sepia effect on it#why are we still doing that billboard huh#I'm literally just a girl#anywho none of these match and it's okay by me#(no it's not but what can I do)
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Can you draw something with Doom Patrol!Edwin and Netflix!Edwin?
Maybe something about Dp!Edwin talking about his feelings for Charles with N!Edwin?
It's just something I've been thinking of, make it a little angsty?<3
Glad you asked
ko-fi
#ask ask ask#dead boy detectives#dbda#payneland#edwin x charles#doom patrol#dead patrol#cw homophobia#i know there are a couple of people who enjoy my rambly tags so these are for u#first of all anon i'm sorry i used your request to continue my story lol#most of my comics are meant to be standalones BUT#the doom patrol and dead girl detectives are all happening in the same universe#and there is indeed series of events here!#this particular one is happening after dp!edwin's feelings were exposed but before they met the girls#with that out of the way#i know this is not as funny as most of my stuff#but dp!edwin's internalized homophobia is an important thign that can't just go away because his charles loves him back#and he does love him back! in this verse#dp!charles is the only one not struggling with his feelings for his partner#dbd!charles and charlotte still have ways to go#also dbd!edwin is in no way an expert in self-acceptance but he has learned some things#i considered having him mention simon but i decided it wasn't his place to out him#(even though he's dead u know)#so yeah what he says here isn't... great#he's still putting himself down and he's still not sure if his feelings for charles are actually a good thing#but he knows HE is glad he feels this way#because fuck it it's not like he'll go to hell for it#and even if he did... he would crawl his way out
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