#i'm in a weird headspace atm

[thehugwizard]

Hey y'all, I'm writing this to let y'all know I'm gonna be in a weird headspace for awhile, tonight, after a sudden Heart Attack or stroke (the docs aren't entirely sure which) my Uncle, Joel, passed away, I'm in a dissociative state atm, so thank you for bearing with me as I process and finally grieve properly once my emotions are able to be let out

[target-core]

since you made that post, I’d love to share some of my own personal experience enjoying billford fluff, as survivor of an abusive relationship (though this is absolutely not me speaking for every survivor btw) if you don’t mind!! just because I think it’s an interesting perspective to bring to the table and I don’t want to repeat what the other asks have already said (and you seem curious and I love sharing thoughts about this)

tbob means absolutely everything to me but, in my head, it's already more or less reached the pinnacle of showing the darkest parts of their relationship and, to me, nothing else can fully compete with that. plus, when I'm in fandom spaces, I often use it to unwind and relax, and I just do not have the time or energy to use that space to engage with fictional versions of traumatic events that I have already been through, in excruciating detail. not only because I'm in a headspace where I just can't handle being triggered atm (unlike reading tbob, where I know what to expect and have coping skills already prepared) but also, personally, the concept can seem boring to me sometimes. I've already lived through this and spent years processing the meaning of it. I don't need to see fictional characters I love do the exact same thing repeatedly. especially since my own experience with my own suffering tends to be very mundane and tedious, and that’s part of why it’s miserable (no one ever talks about how boring pain is god .. but that’s a topic for a different conversation that has barely anything to do with this).

but obviously, I still want to engage with fandom spaces, even if I tend to avoid certain aspects of it (not even necessarily by default, it's just a pattern I've noticed with myself). so what can I engage with instead??? well I love these character dearly, devoid of whatever awful things they may or may not have done (looking at you especially bill, you motherfucker). I love their weird and nerdy personalities, I love their relatable backstories, I love how you can explore other themes through them (such as neurodivergency and trauma as a mental condition, rather than as an experience), and I love also how they can actually be really romantic, in a twisted weird way. I mean, merging bodies and minds, calling someone your “muse,” or even just the idea of a demon falling in love with a scientist who’s studying him just feels objectively romantic to me, in a strange and eerie way. not to mention (as I think someone else has said), not all abusive relationships are 100% bad all the time. in fact, that can be why they are so difficult to leave, because when you love someone you want to cling to the good. and I don’t think the good should ever be dismissed or invalidated, no matter how awful the bad is or how much it outweighs the good. plus also, if we’re going back to comparing billford to my own abusive relationship, those two really aren’t a perfect 1:1 comparison. not only because they’re fictional characters living in a world with magic and we aren’t, but also because they’re more like amalgamations of ideas than they are real people. and I love exploring those ideas on their own merits, regardless of the abuse.

so now that I think about it, I don’t even know if “fluff” is an adequate enough descriptor of what I like .. or if it is fluff, it still has some level of darkness or weirdness to it too, even if it’s small. I guess it’s more like I just enjoy the lighter, more whimsical aspects of billford that have more nuance to it .. but also billford is just so inherently incredibly dark that this feels fluffy by comparison. but also that’s literally just my own limited perspective (and I’m not even always consistent with it .. like I said this is just a pattern I’ve noticed with myself). I definitely don’t think it’s the only way to enjoy the ship and I absolutely 10000% get why other people might not feel the same and would want to explore the darker, more abusive aspects to them (technically I also do, just not via fandom). I’m never going to begrudge anyone who wants that and I hope this isn’t interpreted as a dunk on people who do <3333 I just love these stupid characters and their relationship so much and I think talking about this sort of thing is really really fun and interesting

anyways I’ve written probably way too much (and if I don’t stop now then I never will) so if you’ve gotten this far then thank you!! hope you have a wonderful day or night or whatever time it is where you are

Thank you so much for your ask !! :) please don’t apologize for them being too long, I really don’t mind

I have been in abusive relationship(s… lol🥲) myself, and I think with Billford I kind of do the opposite of escapism where I latch onto the darker parts and keep thinking about how it connects to my life over and over and over.. I’m gonna be real, I think the way I engage with them is actually kind of unhealthy LOL but it does make for interesting art and analysis in my head, so I guess it isn’t all that bad..?

I don’t mean to imply their relationship is all darkness. I think there’s levity to be found too… and as you said, abusive relationships aren’t bad all the time. There is genuinely cute stuff that happens between them, even though I tend to view those moments more cynically. I think for those nicer parts, I can’t enjoy them as much *because* I view them so cynically, because I project onto them. It feels too real for me to think of those moments as genuine because it opens up the possibility of a world where things could’ve been better. It’s hard for me to explain, I apologize if I don’t make any sense.

I really really do not want my original post to be viewed as a dunk either. Different interpretations are the spice of life!!! It’s all awesome. I enjoy seeing them in anything. I was more just genuinely curious on why the common interpretation is lighter than what’s presented. I feel like that might’ve not come across as well as I intended, and I’m sorry about that.

Thank you again for your ask!

[akajustmerry]

There was an ad for Furiosa (2024) directly under your posts talking about how much it sucked...I didn't watch the movie yet but did you ever share your ideas about how her story should be handled in a prequel? Cause I'd love to read those, your criticisms about the way women's/poc's trauma is sensationalised in Hollywood cinema make such good points

hm. maybe I'm just not in the right headspace atm but I think ultimately what would have really helped the film's story (to ME) is if there was more of furiosa connecting to the other women under immotan joe's oppression. something I loved about fury road is the solidarity among the women despite and because of what they've endured. It felt weird to me that in furiosa (2024), her contacting the Wives to escape is practically a footnote at the end of the movie. there are also other women dotted throughout the film that furiosa never speaks to. an argument could be made that only showing her interacting with men is to have that contrast since she's from a society of women. But Fury Road was amazing because the contrast between how the men treat the women and how the women treat one another is constantly presented in the film. To me, it needed to be in Furiosa 2024 too. It didn't even have to be in there a lot, but definitely more than it was. The new movie bills itself as a prequel that shows you how furiosa got the tools to escape and yeah it does that very literally in a technically masterful way, but again TO ME it missed how she built the solidarity she used to escape. I think if that was woven in between the billion scenes of MEN, it would have been a more effective prequel. I say all this with the caveat that I've been very depressed lately and maybe when I'm less depressed I'd feel different but this is how I feel now so 🙃

[mvltimvse]

It's been a week... well it's been a rough long while but, i appreciate those who have stuck around and checked in on me. I'm not intentionally ignoring anyone or not wanting to answer things, I just have hella low spoons at the moment. I also see a bunch of new faces I am excited to write with as well, I promise I am eager to plot, I'm just in a weird headspace + my physical health is in shambles atm. Just gimme a lil time bls. 🥺

[rmd-writes]

no seven sentence sunday/inspiration weekend

thank you @welcometololaland @taralaurel @cultofsappho @petalwritesx @freneticfloetry @strandnreyes @three-drink-amy @reyesstrand @lemonlyman-dotcom @alrightbuckaroo @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @carlos-in-glasses @hippolotamus @kiwiana-writes @jesuisici33 @stereopticons for the tags this weekend, I love seeing what everyone is up to so much! It's all in the queue 💖😅

sadly I have nothing for you all, I haven't done any writing for the last week or so and have been focusing on some beta work and actually reading fic. I'm in a bit of a weird headspace atm - surprisingly enjoying not writing anything for the first time in a long time, but also contemplating a couple of new things in the back of my mind (that extensive to write/wip list? I'll just ignore that for now lol)

In an effort to contribute something today, if anyone wants to throw some asks my way about writing or beta reading or anything really, send them through!

tagging a few people whose snippets I haven't come across yet to share what they're working on (no pressure): @sunshinestrand @reyescarlos @stutteringpeach @everwitch-magiks @djdangerlove @nontoxic-writes @blackandwhiteandrose @ships-to-sail @ambiguouspenny @myheartalivewrites @thebumblingbee @xthelastknownsurvivorx @celaestis1 @mostlyinthemorning @cha-melodius @beautifulhigh

[screaming-weevil]

nine (9) people you'd like to know better

ty @alyshara

Last Song: Òran an Ròin (Julie Fowlis) - I've been on a big Scottish music kick lately (the past six years of my life)

Currently Watching: I'm like halfway through season 2 of Fantasy High, and a few eps into SU Future at the behest of my friends but I haven't honestly had a lot of the headspace required to sit and watch a thing recently. Have been letting Blue Planet episodes play in thr background sometimes, though.

Currently Reading: I'm between books atm - need to go to the library again - but am trying to finish the webnovel A Practical Guide to Evil. There's a lot of it, and it's a little dense, but we're making progress. I've been reading a lot of Romeo and Juliet for my job though!

Current Obsession: Arthropods and the phylogenetic trees thereof! Also weird marine invertebrates. And of COURSE john carpenter's 1982 hit horror classic The Thing!

Tagging (if you'd like to do it too): @whatmarvellousthings @mossballavalon @dafuzzgod @thirteen-magpies @wiingdings @catsoutofthebags @chryso-of-nowhere @infinitegenderlessmess @anatomyofaburnout

[clementinecoastline]

20 questions for writers

i was tagged by @isnt-it-pretty! thank you for the tag!!! this looks so fun!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

currently 4 (but there's another on the way soon)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

30,992 atm !!!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

i've posted my work for haikyuu!! and genshin, but i also write for mdzs/cql and honestly. whatever fandom gets my attention. (i have an inuyasha wip im working on, and some orv stuff too)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

i actually only have 4 works but:

follow the tide (with the monsters on your shoulder) for genshin

the world is simplified for kings (to them, all men are subjects) for haikyuu!! (yeah the title is really long but. i'm fond of it)

to touch the sun (and keep on soaring) for haikyuu!!

i will die facing the sun for haikyuu!!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

as far as i know, i've responded to every comment i've received !!! i love engaging with my readers. it's also easier since i don't have any really popular fics.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i don't tend to write unhappy endings and i also only have 4 fics posted. but to touch the sun might have the angstiest ending in the sense that tooru's issues still aren't resolved by the end of the fic. my snf au (current wip) ends on a bittersweet note on account of the mcd inherent to the premise.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

my happiest ending so far is probably the world is simplified for kings, since the brazil fling get to have a nice time as they fall in love with volleyball. i will die facing the sun also has an optimistic ending, but it isn't guaranteed that oikawa will win at the olympics.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i'm not well known enough for that LOL

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i haven't yet but it's in the cards !!!

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

i don't write crossovers for the most part. i write fusions/AUs and those can get pretty wild. the craziest is probably my wolf's rain au. i don't think i'll ever write a crossover but i wouldn't count it out!! i've read some good ones. maybe i can be convinced.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of. i don't think any of my writing has enough traction for that.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope but maybe ill translate some of my own work. and i'm open to it if anyone offers.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

none currently posted!!! but i do have a project i'm working on with a friend.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

all-time favorite is really hard bc ranking the strength of my hyperfixations against each other is just cruel. my all-time favorites (plural) are probably haikaveh, iwaoi, and levtsukki.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

ideally. follow the tide is not one of these. i have a lot planned out that i just haven't written or posted. the one that i probably will never finish is living tomorrow. it's an iwaoi relationship study that i really, really want to write but have lost my connection with. i need to find my thoughts on them again and recalibrate and rewrite my current draft if i'm ever going to finish it. but maybe i will!!

16. What are your writing strengths?

i'm not sure. i think i have a remarkable ability to commit to the bit with weird fusions and au's but i haven't really posted those. no matter how silly the idea, i can usually get pretty invested (like my wolf's rain au writing and fanart), and that doesn't really depend on how interested other people are in it. support is nice but not always necessary.

one of my main goals in writing is to get in a character's headspace. i'm a big fan of immersion and understanding who they are and how they think. i try to capture that in writing while adding lots of small personal details to help flesh out the character's life. based on some of the comments i've gotten, i haven't completely failed.

of course, if anyone has any ideas on what my writing strengths are, they're free to let me know <- blatant fishing for compliments

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

erm. well i have thousands of words in unpublished wips so. probably motivation. poor planning. a lot of it is inexperience. my imagery, repetitiveness, poor dialogue or description. those are all things to work on. if i were to look back at my published works, i'd probably cite a lot of the things i've improved on since then.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

oh no this one's controversial. well, i think that if you're writing dialogue in english (or whatever language the fic is in) and your characters are speaking another language. you have a few choices. if the characters say something in another language but you translate it, i would italicize that (ie. "Thank you," he said in Spanish.) if the characters are saying something in another language and it's written in that, i don't really mind whether it's italicized or not, BUT i think it has to be well executed. sometimes that depends on using the term properly, or also on. how in character it is for that character to do that. as a bilingual person, switching between languages/speaking other languages can get pretty complicated, so it really all depends on execution. i don't think that everything has to be translated in the text at that moment, but i think that everything should be translated eventually. footnotes are a good idea!!!! or it should be revealed later in the text, or in the author's notes. but i don't like it when it's never revealed or translated at all.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

warrior cats on ff.net but we dont talk about that. haikyuu on ao3. i wrote some inuyasha stuff in google docs in between but never finished or posted it.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

that i've posted? follow the tide. that i'm writing? ack. i really really like the snf au!!! but i like a lot of my other ideas too (daemon au my beloved). im very fond of my mdzs pacific rim au.

i'm tagging @conartisthaiji @monstrsball @wormcoded and anyone else who wants to participate !!

[glamatron3000]

Just a little heads up that further art and writing may take a while. Been pretty out of it this past week and haven't been able to work on anything. Hoping to get back into the swing of things soon, but I'm just in a really weird headspace atm.

[voddiesk]

Hehe muses on this meme (harder to place than expected)

[hard / not fun to rp]

All [outside of comfort zone] & with a Mean Streak that I'm neither witty enough, brave enough nor feel good to play...

Laverne: nerd, & the traits i chose off someone hurts to play🗿 His magica!AU self is easier in that he's still shonen dumbass there.

fox sisters 'Eiko' & Kyouka: coy & manipulative, which I Cannot

Rosie: I'm no pirate buff LOL. Accents & concision... tough.

[easy / not fun to rp]

Personalities I enjoy drawing in Slapstick Comics, but not to play. Growth is Slow (if any) & dependent on others.

Rainn: too woobie for me LOL

Ming: for literal slapstick jokes, shallow. Not my style anymore

Inis: a little boring to me with the history / personality I made! NPCish being more reactive than proactive... but working to give them Motivations and Curiosities to muse over.

[fun / easy to rp]

1 int oonga, self-explanatory. My brain just smashes red button lately

Roth: basically mingyue v2, but removing (gender) & (human) facets completely makes me happier lol.

Sir Horsie: 🤯

Eoghan: Easy to play & joke in vapid nonsense. Superficially one note, but has backstory to inform his Weirdness though I'd rather not show it / he's fairly well-adjusted. 🤔Just having the element to reference is nice, and being cheery amid angstier folk is fun.

bom!Haruka: Angst & Amnesia combo. Didn't want a 1:1 to rl grief, so had IC reasons to dull emotions and their loss. On the surface they're comically gap moe (easy to play) and most ocs wouldn't know them past that. But they had unconscious layers that informed their heart, perhaps in... unfortunate ways. (Fun)!

aa!Haruka: WIP, may need to change much of what I enjoyed in bom!version (alas).

[hard / fun to rp]

50% [chatty extroverts], 50% [moody introverts]...

· introverts' my preferred, but engaging others & trying not to leave All the legwork to them can be as tough as attempting to drive the rp-convo via an extroverted oc... (for i am Not) 🗿 · All have personality Contrasts that others may read only the superficial (as intended). But I too forget nuances as a result. LOL

Arietta & weedy: Both still 1-note atm as npc/neglected theatric extroverts. 'Voice' is likely too similar rn...

Stitches: I've trouble Being Mean so I backpedal like a COWARD. His inherent tsun & edginess makes me cringe even though that's the point. Easier to comic than rp.

Lilie (& Lewy): Passive Aggressive (cannot do that anymore). Reserved, pessimistic, but who also try to step out of their shells. Headspace takes a bit of warming...

· twins Leith & Liam: 1-int jokes that'll Press the Red Button & have Bad Opinions, but also gooey feelsy inside. I enjoy that they can act independent of others with their different strengths, while still falling under my mun need to hold hands w/ someone.🤡

· struggles with their Words (or lack thereof). Liam is too chatty, Leith takes much effort to convey. But still a fun struggle at the end of it all, as their relations with other peoples' ocs made them so.

I tend to make ocs that ignore or skim feelings, so twinnies being overly guided by emotions has been a fun (if embarrassing) change.

[twelve-nights]

100 system questions by @.pluralasking (answered)

i'm not any of the pirate ship trio, so i'm not answering on that blog even though this is plural related. all under cut because it's long.

1. What is your System name and / or the name you collectively go by?

we're currently debating on changing it, but right now, we go by pleiades.

2. Which word do you prefer to use for your System? (example: System, Collective, Constellation, ...)

we're sort of split on this. some of us prefer system, others prefer collective, and others don't care. most of the ex-hosts prefer collective so we generally use that.

3. What are your Systems origins, if you choose to label them?

likely traumagenic, but we just call it adaptive. we honestly don't understand the origin labels.

4. Do you have any Subsystems?

yes, one, and i'm part of it. we're the current host.

5. Do you have any Sidesystems?

not that we're aware of.

6. What is your opinion on you& / your& language and similar types?

some of us are okay with it, but we prefer to be treated more singlet-adjacent due to shit we've faced in the past as a collective. you/your is much more preferred.

7. What methodes do you use to keep track of your System and it's Members?

simplyplural mostly, but honestly not much else. we have pk but we only update it when people want to speak in servers (we're only in like three with pk anyways).

8. What is your Systems ways of communication?

mostly internal.

9. Is communication hard or easy for you (and why is it the way it is)?

it depends. when someone is frontstuck, really only our gatekeeper can get to them and they're sort of stuck in "the void" (area outside the headspace). it's generally easier when there's not distractions, but i wouldn't say it's hard in general.

10. Do you view yourselves as parts of one person or as multiple people in one body?

both? we're multiple people in one body who are all parts of one person's soul.

11. Who are you out to as plural?

very few people. it's like 4 friends, 3 plural related servers, and our blogs here. we do have an & in our main's profile but otherwise we don't talk about it.

12. What languages do you collectively / one of you speak?

we're only fluent in english but we know some cantonese and manderin natively (although we're illiterate and only have listening comprehension remaining for the latter). we want to bring those two to fluency at some point, but atm we're mainly studying latin (via school) and russian (very experimental self study). we're also making a conlang and have dabbled in japanese, norwegian, and technically spanish too but we've forgotten all of the latter.

13. What is something you can't seem to collectively agree on?

seafood and bread. sometimes cheese too. (i blame the latter on the russian sourced headmates who forget the body is lactose intolerant and hates dairy so it never tastes like how they remember lmao)

14. If you have a collective Identity (such as Gender or Orientation), what is it?

transmasc. we all get transmasc dysphoria from the body. aroacespec too.

15. Do you collectively identify as queer / LGBTQIA+?

yes.

16. Do you collectively identify as Otherkin, Alterhuman or Nonhuman?

pretty much, but the preferred label isn't the same across everyone.

17. Do you have a collective rentry / carrd / something along those lines? (feel free to share!)

technically? it's outdated and pretty abandoned though. we might make another at some point.

18. What does switching feel like for you?

either the weird falling feeling you sometimes get when trying to fall asleep, or "turning" into someone else.

19. Are you Monoconscious, Polyconscious or something else?

probably just monoconscious.

20. What does fronting feel like for you?

we never experience "not in front" (fully or that we can remember anyways), so it's just... existing sorta singlet-ish lmao.

21. How many System members do you have?

we say ~12, but if the subsystem is counted, it's like 14. the subsystem counts their members as more like half a person, which is why we say ~12

22. Which word / words do you prefer to use for members of your System?

headmates, brainmates, brain friends, and sometimes "demons/voices in [my] head" (jokingly)

23. Which age group seems to be the most common in your System?

young adult

24. Which gender seems to be the most common in your System?

male or male adjacent

25. Are there any talents / hobbies you picked up because of a Member?

russian hyperfixation lmaooo. sort of singing also? we have a lot of musicians/vocalists/idols but we do sound engineering for some reason.

26. Do you have any in-system relationships?

so many, yeah, it sometimes feels like one big open polycule? most of us are exclusively polyamarous or similar so we sorta have one big web. most don't consider it romantic though.

27. Do you label roles within your System (and if yes, which ones?)

yes. persecutor is the most common weirdly enough? - gatekeeper - host (x3, all the subsys) - persecutor-protector-soother - nightmare protector (although he refers to himself as a "nightmare eater" ...which is more accurate tbh lmao) - persecutor-anger holder (x3, all the subsys) - protector-caretaker

28. Are most of your Members introjected, brainmade or something else?

introjected, half are kinforms and generally don't identify as an introject since they're literally just taking the form of who we were in a past life.

29. Do you use names, emojis or something similar to sign off messages (and if yes, which ones and why?)

mostly just names but we have symbols too.

30. Do any of your System members use Xenogenders?

some.

31. How do Members pick face claims?

usually just edit a picture of our source or find fanart close to it. if not, we draw it.

32. Do you have any Introjects of popular sources?

counting kinforms for these. yes, harry potter, enstars, murder drones, and... minecraft creepypasta lmao. also factives of ic3peak

33. Do you have any Introjects of unpopular sources?

yes. shakespeare (tweflth night the musical). lmao.

34. Do you have nonhuman Members?

yup. a ghost-thing, a demon, and a fae thing

35. Do any of you use Typing Quirks?

sort of. one sometimes types like thiS, another like tthis, and one just SHOUTS A LOT :))) but that's generally it. pretty minimal imo.

36. Do all of you front, or only a selected amount?

all of us have, but it's generally only a handful that do it a lot

37. Are there any Members who can't or prefer to not speak?

not really, just ones who struggle to socialize

38. Are most of you short or tall in height?

tall...? i think.

39. Is there a Member that is collectively loved by all in the System?

sev. we love all of each other but severus just... puts up with our shit so much and does so much. love you /p.

40. Do any of you struggle with being front-stuck a lot of the time?

any one of us who are a host, ex host, or generally just close to the host have the risk of being frontstuck. we used to get stuck for several weeks at a time (back when we couldn't switch on command at all), but it's slightly better now.

41. Do you have a Headspace (if not, is there a reason)?

yes.

42. What does your Headspace look like?

our headspace currently contains a small mountain range, part of a city, a beach, and a port town. there's also two "sub planes", both of which are mainly controlled by a certain headmate respectively and are pretty liminal. we generally don't leave the main area and anywhere that isn't commonly visited tends to be "blurry" or otherwise lacking detail until you go far enough out that you end up in the void. if you're frontstuck, you also end up in the void but it's sort of more like being stuck underground (like clipping out of bounds in a video game).

43. How do Members look like in Headspace? (example: Cartoony, Foggy, Realistic, ...)

we can't really see the headspace but we can at the same time. we say they can be either depending on their source/s, but honestly it's all more like weird shifting blobs with "headcanoned" appearances. same with the headspace.

44. Is there a reason why the Headspace looks the way it looks?

we had to make the headspace and it doesn't really expand on its own, so unused spaces remain without detail. we also have aphantasia which definitely contributes to it.

45. Is it easy for you to enter Headspace?

depends.

46. Do you remember what happened in Headspace when you switch into front?

usually not, unless you were near or at front while also in the headspace. sometimes we get "flashes" of events that've happened or just know something has changed though.

47. Does time in Headspace pass (and if yes, is it at the same speed as in real life)?

kind of? the beach is stuck between dawn and dusk and is never at night and the central city is weird. we all have full control over it though, so we can just change the time if we want to.

48. What is your favourite place in Headspace?

probably the beach, but the observatory is considered the "origin" of the headspace and it's important to all of us.

49. Are there "NPCs" within your Headspace?

sort of, but they're sort of just shadowy blobs that walk around and are in the shape of people.

50. Are there any interesting fun facts about your Headspace?

it was originally created by sev and another one of us who were fixated on tulpamancy, before our syscovery. it had disappeared after that faded, but not long after was our syscovery and we brought it back. the original room was an overgrown potions lab and it still remains as part of the observatory's 2nd floor, right under the former fronting room.

51. Are there any "System Stereotypes" you fit into?

fictive heavy...? i guess? i'm not very aware of the stereotypes.

52. Who of you would be considered the "evil alter"? (in a lighthearted, joking manner)

me, nastya. /lh

53. What is your favourite inside-joke with a Member?

"the only reason the body can't sing despite all the musican/idol members is because the host used to besnape" /lh.

54. What is your favourite Plural meme?

not sure.

55. Is there any character that you headcanon as plural?

paper luigi and mr. l, although that's also because they're a kintype/past life and we were actually plural then. same with doll and the absolute solver (although there's more weird computer stuff there).

56. Is there any show or movie that you believe is a good plural representation, despite that not being its intention?

not sure. i don't really interact with much media.

57. Is there any song that you believe decribes your plural experience?

i think we had one but i don't remember it. smith & thell's radioactive rain seems to fit to some extent though.

58. What about an artwork that describes your plural experience?

unsure.

59. Which Member of your System do you believe to be the prettiest of them all?

my girlfriend /silly. i don't experience aesthetic attraction, so i have no idea.

60. Do you collectively have a lucky number?

4 and 16.

61. When did you first discover your System?

sometime last year.

62. How many Members did you know about during your Syscovery?

i believe it was somewhere around 4?

63. Was accepting your Plurality a challenge for you?

yes, mostly due to feelings of "possibly faking it" and being terrified of the community due to the discourse. (fears were justified as the first person we talked to to see what their experiences were ended up fakeclaiming and calling us delusional for not being sure of a traumagenic origin.)

64. How did you learn about Plurality?

originally on a fan discord for a series a couple years ago, but we didn't think much of it.

65. Where there any signs of your Plurality, if you look back at your past?

yes.

66. Do you think your Syscovery changed a lot in your life?

sort of, some for the better, some for the worst.

67. If you're out to others as plural, have they ever told you later on that they already thought about it before you realised?

yes, but we were also purposefully dropping hints to see if he would notice as he was one of the few people who knew about plurality and would actually say something to us about it.

68. What was the biggest struggle during your Syscovery?

getting fakeclaimed not long after dealing with our own doubts.

69. Was there any big event that led to your Syscovery?

accidentally stumbled on the term "median" and everything fell into place.

70. What is something you want questioning plurals to know?

don't dig for trauma. it's okay to use the quiogenic label or not label it at all. if you have any trauma, it's hidden for a reason. it's probably best to leave it be until you have a therapist to work it out with.

71. Are you Neurodivergent (and if yes, how?)

yes, suspected autism and adhd, but we can't get diagnosed due to family and financial issues.

72. Do you have any physical disability?

kind of? we're loosing vision in one eye and have 3pd. we don't consider ourselves to be physically disabled though.

73. Do you have a dissociative disorder?

not that we're aware of.

74. Do you have any other disorder?

probably, but aren't aware or have it diagnosed.

75. Do symptom vary in intensity depending on the fronter?

not really.

76. Do you think your disability / disorder has an influence on your plurality?

no.

77. Do you have amnesia of any kind?

very bad emotional amnesia, likely some others too but not actively aware of it.

78. Are there Members who deal better with symptoms than others?

not really, just ones who've fronted more and are more desensitized to it.

79. Do your disorders / disabilities influence communication or switching within your System in any way?

not that i'm aware of.

80. Does being plural help with your disorders in any way? (example: another Member switching in to take care of the body during difficult times, ...)

eh...? not that i'm aware of.

81. Which is your favourite plural flag?

probably median.

82. If you have one, which is your favourite plurality related tumblr blog?

@.oursystemblog

83. What is a fun fact about your System?

all of us can be considered introjects. there are no active brainmades.

84. What is a flavour of ice cream that describes you collectively?

neapolitan.

85. Which pride flag is the prettiest, in your collective opinion?

the demifluid or the new polyamory flag.

86. If you collectively had to choose between being a sweet or a sour candy, which do you pick?

sour.

87. Your body always morphs into what the current fronter(s) look like, would you want this power or not?

absolutely.

88. Is there a Hatsune Miku in your System?

unfortunately no.

89. Who has been in your System the longest (if you can remember)?

out of all active members, it's either hb or sev, depending on if hb actually split during our elementary school days or not.

90. If you collectively had to choose, would you rather only eat sweet foods or only eat savoury foods for the rest of your life?

savoury.

91. If you collectively had to choose, would you pick to become a vampire or a werewolf?

werewolf.

92. Your body is transfered into one of your Members sources, which do you pick and why?

natsu's probably. it's close enough to current reality, he isn't dead or in a... situation... and we would have magic.

93. If all of you turned into animals right this second, which animals would we find in your System?

fox, bat, deer, and mostly birds.

94. What would a Minecraft server with all of your Members look like? (example: chaotic, peaceful, laggy, ...)

chaotically peaceful. hermitcraft-adjacent

95. If you could choose between only living in Headspace or only living in Meatspace (real life), which would you choose?

headspace. the meatspace fucking sucks right now. i'm also not really close to anyone we know irl.

96. What topic would you collectively make a youtube channel about? (it can't be plurality!)

art or music.

97. Which superpower would your body obtain, if you had to collectively decide on one?

either mind reading or shapeshifting.

98. Who would pick the coolest tattoo for the System and who would pick the worst?

nick would choose the best, aiden and hb would choose the worst.

99. If you only were allowed to eat one food for the rest of your life, but you would have to decide on the food collectively, what would it be and what would the decision making look like?

business meeting. the decision would probably be ramen.

100. What is the most fun about doing polls and answering questions, in your opinion?

being able to talk about us, i guess.

[superbninten]

just some thoughts but i wanna draw more sorta nsfw stuff. not like explicit stuff but things that are somewhat racier than what i do now (though like who knows what that means i guess). but what's stopping me is my fear of people finding it weird or like disappointing those close to me or whatever so i kinda like never wanna show anyone even if i do. that's kinda the headspace i'm in atm.

[forgetthetimetravel]

Side addition: first yes do not trust tumblr with money they cant even do a tag/search function consistently

But second

Just gonna throw out there that some, -i'll readily admit not all but AT LEAST SOME, of the 'everything must make you money' mindset is because we don't have enough money from one job to live well.

I would LOVE to do more things for free, and tbh would rather that then try to convince ppl to pay me sometimes, cause as i'm finding actually finding a person who is willing to pay you for anything is hard, official employer or not. But I cannot afford to do everything for free.

So many ppl who are monetizing their hobbies is because they might at least get some joy while they earn their rent and food, they have a skill that some people are in fact willing to pay for. And i'm not saying people dont deserve to get paid for their talents and hard work! This is about squeezing every bit of money from the things you do because you are afraid of losing your human rights otherwise and rightfully so.

Some people chose to make their living as an artist or freelancer of various things, and can. Some ppl choose to make content and share for free, many do this and thank you, -tge internet isnr -the same without you and neither is your own life. But there are also those who see selling content as a small window of hope that they won't have to think as much about food, medicine, rent, etc. For a while.

So yes, support creators and sellers, donation requests, small and big.

But do it through a reliable source, -because they need to depend on it too.

i think it’s important to state that the problem here is not the idea of wanting to monetize your content (to an extent) but the fact that social media never should have been monetized like this to begin with and that tumblr dot com is not a platform that you can trust with anything like this

[absolveres]

✝️

[kaediisarchive]

hnghhhh seasonal affective disorder is making me Hella Depressy today for absolutely no reason so I’m not sure if I’ll get much done tonight. Feel free to send soft things or headcanon questions that I can poke later this evening.

[heroinetales]

.

[lonelier-version-of-you]

Jac's became more prominent during her breakdown SL. she messes with her hands compulsively when she's stressed/dissociating/about to have a panic attack (... which unintentionally links up to her self harming her hands. huh). it reminded me of when the therapist pointed out Henrik's compulsive pen clicking/tapping.

oh btw i didn't mean anything offensive saying it was boring or not important. i just know it's only interesting info to like, three people.

ah, I haven’t watched that sl so that would explain why I haven’t noticed it I guess, if it wasn’t really a big Thing ‘til then. and now suddenly I want someone to make a parallel gifset of this (just as I should really get to making that parallel gifset of Jac’s panic attack vs. Henrik’s meltdown already) lmao

good point about the link re: Jac self-harming on her hands too, that’s very interesting!

also I feel compelled to point out that Mr. Clarke (the bloke you’re talking about) was a psychiatrist, not a therapist lol - not that I fault you for mixing it up, haha, I’ve just watched Black Dog a million times so I know every detail way too well 😆

wrt your second ask, don’t worry, I wasn’t offended!! and luckily for you I am one of those three people who’d find it interesting, so