#i'm in a very bad period regarding my art

[fight-nights-at-freddys]

So, for starters, this entire post is incredibly condescending, and I fear you didn't read a word of it.

Going over the first paragraph: children shouldn't be online without safe search-like filters on. That is the fault of the child's parents, not any individual who posts porn of their fave characters, and people aren't just "talking about that making them uncomfortable or affecting their wellbeing in any way", they're actively talking down on people who share their sexuality online. It is not, in fact, difficult to find art that isn't sexual in nature, and sexuality is not the focus of everything like you pretend it is. If you hate something enough, you'll find it everywhere and in everything, and that's a *you* problem.

Second paragraph: It's not just "slightly negative" speech regarding people's kinks, it's slurs, racism, homophobia, transphobia, or at best, name-calling. This is very much Christian missionary "if you are a degenerate you are going to hell, and I'm praying that you do!" Examples below of exactly what I'm talking about. All referring to fiction/kink, all directed at trans women.

If you didn't act like Christians who believe that liking something slightly outside of "the norm" makes you a sinner, we wouldn't call you puritans. But as it stands, that shoe fits.

Third paragraph: for one, the block button exists. If you don't want to see people talk about their kinks, block them! Someone having an incest/rape kink does not mean they do not care about victims of incest/rape. They are not the same thing, and conflating the two is bad for a multitude of reasons. Porn is not inherently abusive. Is the porn industry bad? Yeah. Is porn itself bad? No. But again, people are going after *individuals*, not the industry. People also aren't "criticizing how modern sexuality enables rape culture, they're criticizing other people for being sexual, period. Why are you advocating for people to never talk about their kinks/sexuality/attractions? Why is sex inherently negative to you?

Fourth paragraph: none of this paragraph matters because, and I know this is hard to believe because you clearly can't scroll up and see what I wrote (/s), I didn't say any of that! No one said women had to "lighten up", no one said you couldn't talk about your sexual assault/trauma, no one said we should start protecting sex offenders, and no one said an individual's sexual interests matter over everything else! What my post did imply, however, is that if you have this much of an issue with someone's individual sexuality, the answer is not to berate or belittle them, it's to block them and move on, because the issue lies with you, not with them.

Fifth paragraph: This is projection, plain and simple. Have you considered that some people don't have shame regarding their sexuality, and are genuinely just very open? I have kinks. I have no shame. I have no trauma, I have no need to rebel or be contrarian, I just am, because that's how kinks work. Generalizing people to *this* degree is kinda crazy, and there's really no better way for me to say that.

In conclusion, you're directly advocating for the infantilization of women, you, again, didn't read the post, and you're being needlessly mean by insinuating that I don't care about victims of SA.

Then again, you're a radfem, so that's kinda your guys' modus operandi, isn't it?

I think it's genuinely concerning how sex-negative we, as a society, are becoming. (This post brought to you by a few tweets I saw)

Does no one else think it's genuinely worrying how if you even find a fictional character attractive, you're called a gooner, or a degenerate, or some other pejorative to indicate that being sexual in any way is gross and nasty and yucky? Why does art suddenly lack artistic value because it's sexual in nature? Why are we so obsessed with associating a core feature of the human condition with shame and guilt?

Even more concerning is that it isn't just some niche little group of people on the internet, it's rampant. Every nook and cranny of the internet has these people, ready and raring to call you names if you dare speak anything slightly not-safe-for-work.

Like the people on twitter openly calling trans women degenerates and freaks for having an incest/rape kink (I've seen this one A LOT), because how can you claim to be an ally, or lgbt-friendly, or a feminist, but get mad at a woman expressing her sexuality? Why does sexuality gross you out to the point you feel the need to demean people over it?

And where does it end? Are we going to start calling women who dress a little too revealing 'sluts' again? Are we going to ban sex scenes in movies? Start preaching abstinence, say sex outside of marriage is bad, that lust is immoral, and being gay is a sin?

I'm sure that a large part of the problem is that these people are generally children, and still in the "sex is gross" phase, but I know that's not the case with all of them. I'm just worried for the future, because all the people saying these things are just reinventing conservatism under the guise of progressivism, and are (intentionally or unintentionally, I'm not sure) causing more harm than good.

I know we talk about puritanism and stuff all the time, but in my opinion, it's gotten to a point even the actual puritans didn't get to.

[tsurumi-kun]

I finished aa4 a few days ago and guess who's my fav

[late-draft]

Hello, Dema here!

First off—I have fallen desperately in love with your artworks. You have a very particular style, strong and fluid all the same, and I can't help but admire the way you draw and how you approach character design.

And talking about character design...

I saw your post about Zuko's bold design in S1 when compared to what we got in S3 and—as much as I love S3-Zuko—I completely agree with you. Something I've always loved about Zuko in S1 is just how striking he was, how much of a presence he had, even when he was being tossed around by a twelve-year-old. That being said, I love Zuko, I love him in armor and pointy shoes and with a ponytail, and I loved your alternative design for him.

What do you think about his S2 character design? How does it flow with the story beats and his overall character arc? Much has been said about the Hair-Growth-Means-Character-Growth (and I find it interesting, also, that he cut his hair again before joining the Gaang), but I'd like to know your opinion on how that translates to character design and how the decisions made in the show could be either good or bad in that regard.

Sorry about the long ask! I've just been thinking about this a lot, lately, and would like to know what you think. Hope you have a good day ❤️

AAAA Dema hii!!! I'm so happy I got a message from you, I didn't expect it!!

I'm super glad to hear, I'll wear it as a badge of honour and I must tell you that I also love your art, you wonderfully do volume and the shading done through a contrast of sharp and soft areas! Super solid anatomy too and I'd be lying if I said I didn't look up to your art!

Yess the character designs in the show actually are rather strong, I like a good balance between memorable and functional. Zuko is just *chef kiss* but, considering just how many appearance changes he goes through, some are bound to be weaker than the starting one. That said, I'm gonna go through a few of his S2 looks and make this reply long, ha!

The starting one when he ends up huddling with uncle Iroh with other poor refugees, fits extremely well for the narrative at the moment. It's actually one of my least liked looks for him, and that's great!! It's precisely how it should be, because he's also arguably at one of his two lowest moral points in the story - he basically lost almost all hope, no clear goal, nothing to fight for, he's desperate precisely because of the lack of orientation and thus his morals degrade and sink veeery low. He gets on my nerves so goddamn much in this period LMAO I want to beat him up, he looks like a recovering drug addict... annoying, entitled whiny jerk stealing food and anything shiny for his uncle, but even then he just does not cross the moral event horizon. Excellent characterization. He just looks atrocious and it's great because it fits this low point.

Next he gets the standard boyish square of a hair, no notes here...

But theeeen, he arrives at one of my favourite looks of his, and it's not just because the clothes fit him very nicely (I've seen fandom say they look too big for him which, maybe?? But it doesn't look like he's swimming in them to me) And a thing I've noticed which, maybe it was just an accident on design part but I'm not sure considering they colour coded the entire cave scene; in this part his clothes match the shape of Katara's, first one in bottom then the one in top. The collar is the same haf-circle design but I don't know, maybe there was a limited pool of clothes designs guide which they cycled through. Or, he really is meant to come close but miss Katara by a beat, like sine and cosine chasing each other.

But besides this outfit fitting the inconspicuous Earth Kingdom customer service persona, it also (perhaps inadvertently) does this VERY cool thing:

It makes his shape look closed off and guarded, supposedly non-threatening. It's most visible in his fight against Jet, whose shape is open and goes in many directions like an aggressive star. But then look at what Zuko's shape does:

When he attacks, it opens up to reveal the hidden aspect, again the aggressive star shape shows up! The same thing happens in "Zuko alone" episode but I think it's most clearly visible in this fight against Jet because here he has a direct contrast and comparing with Jet. I think this is an example where the outfit, whose similar design exists irl, overlaps with a great visual metaphor and enhances the narrative at that moment in story. He's still that combative firebender but he has to keep that aspect concealed most of the time. Plus it just looks badass as hell!!

Animators really knocked it out of the park with many frames. I think Jun was too early and missed his better hairstyle, but Katara was just in time.

I agree it's super funny how his hair in the Beach is awfully long, covers his face to an uncomfortable degree and then he apparently shortens it before joining the Gaang, insane behaviour Truly an "I'm so angry and depressed I won't show my face nor be capable of seeing anything because there's nothing nice to see in my life" look...

I guess all his appearances in S2 cover his mental states, but only one of them is extremely Extra (the tea server, doesn't even take the apron off and goes to fight) and I don't see any spot where a similar tier design could be shoved in, narratively speaking. So all in all, S2 did as much as S2 could have. More tea server arc please though, the Guru episode really feels like it skipped 800 km of plot and everything that happened in it is so crammed and pretty sus in terms of character behaviour.

[leenodeeno]

The Fall of the JJK Empire, as written by a Gojo lover

so one of my friends said i should post this here, and, at their persistence, i have finally made a sideblog to share with the world. here's my dissertation on why the jjk ending was bad. MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD

The JJK manga has literally changed the anime and manga scene forever. It's revolutionary. It offers consumers the chance to open their minds to concepts and ideas that are hard to portray successfully in art. There are so many different ways to analyze it and explore the human condition in the different aspects of this story. It's a shame that the way the story played out has caused so much anger and disappointment that will probably lead a mass of people to avoid the story entirely.

Gojo's the reason a good portion of the cast are still alive at the end and their executions were postponed, so the whole giving a multiple chapters long backstory (a whole story arc) on the man just to kill him with no closure is a disservice not only to the story, but also to the fanbase. Gojo deserves closure. And I'm not saying that just because of the fact that I adore Gojo, but more in the fact that, as a major character, he pushes the story forward and makes people think and feel things about not only the JJK universe itself, but about real life and how things work in reality. Gojo was a progressive radical. He believed that change starts with educating the youth. He believed that in order to see the change you want to see, you need to be the one to step up and take the actions needed to set the change in motion. He didn't care about being there to see this change, but that doesn't matter. He just wanted the change to happen so his children (yes, the students were his children) could live in a better world.

His letter to Megumi was disrespectful, but lackluster at best if you're trying to be nice about it. Gojo was his father figure. He was the one that stepped up and raised him to be who he is today. The letter basically just being “by the way I killed your dad LMAO” is insane. Yes, it kind of fits what their relationship was like, but there was also so much love between them that the audience got to see glimpses of throughout the story. That love should have shined through in the final letter to Megumi. The way it played out, Megumi was abandoned by two fathers in his life, gaining no closure for either one.

There were so many points in the story that could and should have been expanded upon, but, instead, we're left with barely fleshed out characters that are supposed to be so important, but we barely have anything left to have faith in them. Megumi's character was brutally massacred by Gege. Megumi had so much potential to be a powerful sorcerer, especially one that made a huge difference in Yuuji's life. And he did, to a point. Megumi ended up with very little character growth, to include his growth as a sorcerer. His whole schtick being his sister gave him nothing other than a failed dream to follow. A sister that has no impact on the story other than being the vessel for Sukuna's lover and dying in the span of about two chapters. His abilities did not grow as much as his hype in the story paved the path for — even leading to his domain never being completed. The audience is also left with many questions regarding his technique that are never answered. Can he gain new shikigami to replace the ones lost? Who knows. If he can't, does that end up with him essentially being useless as a sorcerer since his whole technique revolves around those shikigami? Another question never answered.

I am very happy with Sukuna's ending; I am not happy at all with Gojo's ending. What was the purpose of us having to skip past the time period of Gojo being unsealed and training for the final fight? Training scenes are key to character and story growth in shonen. Key scenes that the audience did not get, in part because of poor writing and in part because of the pressure from Jump to finish the series in order to give the spot to a different serial. There was so much potential for closing off the loose ends during the final training arc, and the story was done a disservice by skipping that whole period of time.

I will forever be thankful for this manga and its invitation for me to analyze the human condition in ways I never thought I'd be able to. You don't even have to enjoy Gojo's character, but the amount of hate I've seen that completely disregards his growth is crazy. I'll be honest, I didn't even really like Gojo when I first joined the fandom, but, over time, Gojo's story and experiences grew on me, and I now have so much love for him. It's baffling how people can not even acknowledge his strengths as a character and the lessons his story can teach to the world.

Gojo's impact on the real world alone knows no bounds, and that impact, which is also stated several times in the story, is completely disregarded by the characters that he should have been most important to. He did not even receive a sentence of the other characters grieving his loss. I would have been okay with even just a panel of incense burning for Gojo, or even just a quick acknowledgement of his death and the effect on the world of the story. It all basically panned out to the characters saying, “Wow, he sacrificed himself for all of us. That's pretty shitty.” Like give us anything.

Yes. I'm upset about Gojo's death and the ending as a whole. But not in the delusional “Gojo's the best, he never should've died blah blah blah” way that a lot of the shallow fans of the story are saying why they're upset.  I think it's very poetic, and it's a tragic story. There are things to be learned from this. This is art, and it's meant to make people feel things.

I do disagree with the people that say Gojo didn't accept his death. It's very clear in his fight and his final conversation with Yuuji that he accepted it. No, he didn't want to die, but he did accept it in the end as something that needed to happen in order to see the change he's been pushing for since he was sixteen years old.

If this ending pushed by Gege and Jump is supposed to be seen as Jujutsu society being completely fixed, then the whole narrative of Gojo's beliefs and his reasons for not killing the higher ups (that just ended up being killed offscreen by the man in the end anyway) because he didn't want to be like them is completely pointless.

And if the whole point was to play Sukuna and Gojo as two sides of the same coin, it was executed very poorly. The audience got to see Sukuna's closure and his choice to seek nirvana in the end. It's very vague whether Gojo decided to seek nirvana or to spin the wheel again and try to go for a better life than he had. Essentially saying “We had the same struggle, and we're going to play that out,” but then the conclusion for both of them isn't clearly shown?

Why should fans have to accept the offscreen death of their favorite character just to spare the author's feelings about being critiqued for his clearly rushed, piss-poor ending? Killing essential characters offscreen is lazy, and it causes people to subconsciously think that they aren't dead because they didn't actually see them die. It's basic human behavior. Not to include the fact that Gege used similar tactics with Nobara, and she ended up being alive in the end. He played into the fact that it was up in the air whether Gojo was alive or not, and it was not executed in a way that made the audience understand the choice. It was done in a way that was on the verge of being cruel because Gege himself has shared his own disdain for Gojo.

Gege hated how much Gojo was loved, and it caused poor writing and a feeling that he was killed just as a way to say fuck you to everyone that loved Gojo. Yeah, he has said many times that he hates Gojo, but Gojo is part of the reason the popularity skyrocketed (and that's probably what added to his hatred for the character). Maybe the plan was for Gojo to die all along, and that's okay, but the way it played out was cruel. Either way it could have happened, Gege's choices led to a major character death that is universally hated, and his fan base and the anime/manga community as a whole will remember it if and when he puts out future works. His legacy as one of the greatest mangakas has been tainted because of this death and the way the story was clearly rushed and filled with plot holes at the end. However, I will say I absolutely cannot get behind the people that are threatening Gege because that's just vile behavior.

Gojo is designed to be attractive and play into that character role, but there's so much more that the shallower Gojo fans just didn't or couldn't grasp, and I think that also plays a big part in the range of reactions going on in response to his death. “Gojo the type to hit and quit.” Yes, but would you care to analyze why he does that? There is depth to his character that the fans that don't care to look deeper don't see. They are the reason a lot of JJK fans are disregarded.

But, I also had to come to terms with the fact that for a lot of people in this fandom, they're very young, and this is one of the first major events they've had to interact with in regards to the ending and everything else. A lot of us have already experienced situations like this many times because we've been around long enough to experience the emotions and actions that go along with loving a major piece of pop culture as it's currently being released. A lot of these young fans are experiencing it for the first time, so I think everything needs to be taken with a grain of salt with what people are saying about the ending. And yes, the current generation of people joining fandom spaces are not mature enough for it, but that's a whole other thing that I don't want to get into right now. The parasocial relationship thing is going to always happen in fandom, but it's going to happen a lot with JJK because, again, a lot of these younger fans it's their first time experiencing a fandom like this.

There are always going to be takes and theories that are shallow, but I'm here for the ones that start with those, but then they continue to analyze and explore why they're thinking that way. I think that's why I'm partially excited that JJK has ended so that these younger fans can either dive deeper and explore the themes and ideologies and morals given to them, or they can decide they don't want to or they just can't. But, I'm excited to see what this piece of art (yes, this manga was art) can do to help develop people in their abilities to explore and discover new ideas and grow as people. This manga has so much potential to make change, and I'm hoping it does that even a little bit.

I just think that, yes, as people that have grown and learned and have more experiences inside and outside of fandom, we have to allow for these younger fans to have this experience. We have to allow them the chance to grow. We can gripe on and on about how they're annoying and everything else, but I'm sure we (at least myself) were once in their shoes. They need to be given that time and space to grow. Not all of them will, but that's okay too. I don't think it's conducive to constantly shoot people down (depending on the idea or whatever it is, obviously) and expect people to want to grow, if all they're being met with is constant negativity and beratement. There has to be that opportunity for growth.

In the end, the conclusion of the story was poorly written — caused by the author's growing resentment of the story he created, insurmountable timelines pushed by money hungry companies, and a fanbase where a majority of the members weren’t quite mature enough to embrace the story as it should have been.

[papermonkeyism]

Poking at the dinosaur project thingy, this time with some production technicalities point of view.

Here be musings.

I originally thought of the project as a calendar, then a series of calendars that could be collected into an art book once enough art had been made for it, and at some point I thought of just skipping the calendar part and going straight for art books.

I've been going back and forth between those options multiple times over the years, and it's still kinda open. Like on one hand a simple calendar with just thirteen illustrations (twelve months plus cover) is the easiest and cheapest option, though pretty limited (what to do once the year presented in the calendar ends, and you still got unsold leftover stock?), and the other hand art books are big projects requiring lots of work, even more money, but be a lasting and very satisfying thing to have.

Maybe I should take a middle road and make a zine instead?

Maybe.

Though, this is where the shape of the actual project comes in.

I've always planned the project as having a slice of life style format, with little story and more focus in exploring the setting. Kinda just looking in and enjoying the view while you go. But I've noticed that keeping the "narration" as illustrations kinda keeps the immersion at arm's length too. While that is fine and dandy for a calendar where the space for any narrative would be very limited anyway, if I was going to do more with the setting, I kinda need something deeper. Even if the audience is fine just looking at pretty pictures, with ADHD it would be better to have something deeper to help keep me personally invested enough to actually plan, plot and produce the materials needed.

Should I make an actual story, with plot and stuff? Feels kinda unnecessary for a thing focusing on just illustrations, and I don't know if I really "click" with a text heavy picture book format. I kinda feel it would make comic as the best option, though that has its own downsides. I've always wanted to do full colour paintings of the dinosaurs, yet going comic it would have to simplify a lot and make it grayscale just to keep me sane. And, as someone who has done well over 250 pages of a long form comic, that's still a HUGE commitment I don't think I have the resources - mental, physical nor financial - to pull off.

I also kinda feel having a plot story would sort of detract from the "exploring the world" aspect and put more heavy focus on characters, which. Well, it's not *bad* exactly, just not quite what I want.

(Also I am aware the dinosaur clan I have has a kid character, and I don't want to make her the point of view character for the story. I have no interest doing a childrens' book. I mean, I am perfectly fine if kids do eventually end up liking my stuff, but I don't consider them my target audience. My target audience is me, an adult person in their later 30s, and a handful of nerds I consider friends and/or mutuals.)

Another option I've been toying with is kind of a double edged sword.

Those who got the Almost Real speculative evolution zine volume 5 got a bit of a taste of this, as I kinda tried it out there.

So... I've gone to pretty great lengths as a layperson to work in the setting of the project thingy. It's always bothered me when dinosaurs get just dumped into a story with no regards to when and where they actually lived, making for an anachronistic hodgepodge of what's popular forming into a mismatched fantasy setting, usually with throwing humans into the mix. I don't like that. I'm more interested in seeing the actual animals as they were, when they were and where they were, where the focus is in the dinosaurs themselves. Thus the limit to Two Medicine formation (with some of the surrounding areas included too, though still keeping to the same time period).

I do not want humans in my dinosaur stories. Period.

But what if...

So, imagine a research journal. There's a scientist visiting the clan of Singing People the project focuses on, with the mission of studying them, their life and their world. The book or zine or whatever could be a story of the dinosaur clan introducing themselves and their life to this person. An outsider point of view to excuse learning about them by them teaching this POV person how their world works. There could be some interaction and maybe interviews, and of course illustrations because you need to document your subjects after all.

Like, I'm kinda excited about the idea. It would let me get into the details I want to picture without getting too into the heads of the characters to limit the chances of artistic exploration. You gotta document the surroundings your study subjects live in after all! But you'd still get to know the characters because it's the job of the POV person to learn about them. Win win!

It's just that I don't want to put too much attention on this hypothetical scientist. Like I said before I don't want to mix my settings. The dinosaur project thingy's world IS Laramidia in the Campanian period of late Cretaceous, it's not meant to be a scifi setting, nor do I want to have any focus on any time travel.

Wonder if it would be possible to leave the scientist character vague enough to never actually get explained? They're just nameless outsider from undetermined time and place who's interviewing some dinosaurs. Maybe with some peronal opinions or musings but no anecdotes about their own life or themself. And whenever there's interactions between the scientist and any of the Singing People it just gets handwaved away. (Of course the Singing People are curious about them too, but that's not the point of the study so it just doesn't get documented or something?)

I don't know. Could that work?

[piracytheorist]

So I came across this post which does make some interesting points about how the vocabulary we use to describe things in fandom has been influenced by the impact of capitalism, and how we also tend to treat things in fandom like they're products in a market and we are consumers.

But I also looked at the post linked in that post, and I read through the thing and I'm like. God. Thank fuck I read something like this now and not ten years ago when I made my very first effort to write and publish a fic.

I don't want to tag the person who wrote that, because I might very well be misunderstanding their point, but what I get from their words is "You shouldn't write exclusively for validation and if you find joy in what you're writing you won't be discouraged by people not engaging with your fics". Which, look. I get what they're saying. Spitting out fics like a machine just for the purpose of getting kudos and comments without you actually enjoying the whole process and art of writing is an effect of capitalism. It's overconsumption and degrading your art just for the sake of getting clicks.

But here are two important things: WHO gets to judge when a fic is written as a mass-produced word vomit for the sake of engagement? And are you wording that critique in a way that won't make brand new writers feel like they're falling in that category?

Like, I'm thinking about my experience when I first wanted to post fanfic. To be frank, in retrospect the very first fic I wrote and published was... very bad. Hilariously bad to the point that after a few years I wanted to forget I ever wrote it 😂 Now I am good with it, because it was my first effort and it's okay that it was bad. I got better.

But back then, it got one single review. And it was a negative one. One that practically went like "He wouldn't fucking say that" and to be honest? Yeah, he wouldn't fucking say that. But the review felt so disheartening to me. I tried sticking to my guns, I left the fic up for a while, then seeing that it didn't get any attention, with that single negative review on it, i deleted it. I didn't write a single thing for an entire year after that, and when I did, I felt inadequate. I started with small writing prompts and writing exercises, and my tag for those was "[url at the time] wants to be a writer". I wasn't acknowledging those efforts as genuine writing. I was only thinking of them as my "trial period" until I would be accepted in the fandom as a "good enough writer". It took me two more years to actually post a fic on fanfiction.net and on ao3 and feel like "Yeah. I'm actually doing something".

Which, you know, that all was par of the course. I don't feel like I was cast aside or mistreated by the fandom or anything (at least not in that regard...). It just happened that my very first stupid fic got a negative review. And I don't agree with leaving negative reviews on fics but it was just one comment and they weren't even rude so like, yeah, don't do that, but it wasn't the end of the world.

But if I had seen that stance back then? The whole "If you're getting discouraged by lack of engagement then you're writing for the wrong reasons"? Pals I would have completely given up. Because hey. I wrote a thing, it got a negative review, I deleted the thing and didn't write again for an entire year. I was discouraged by lack of positive attention, therefore I was doing it for attention's sake, therefore I did it for the wrong reasons, therefore I shouldn't write again.

Like, again, I get their point. My problem is with the way it's worded, and that it doesn't take into account that we cannot judge people based on that. If we asked Erika Mitchell if she wrote Master of the Universe for the sake of attention she'd be like "Oh no that's my baby!" and I'd be like "Of course it is, it transformed into Fifty Shades of Grey and made you a millionaire" but look me in the eye and tell me we can judge strangers like that. WHAT sets the line between "fic I love and poured my soul into writing it" and "fic I wrote without care just because I want to see those numbers going up", and WHO gets to set that line?

I mean, we could set a line with "Don't use LLMs like chatgpt to write fanfic" but I was once called ableist for saying that so

My issue is that this stance can make newbie writers who are just now posting their first fic feel like they're part of the problem. I think it's very important to point out that most writers want our things to be seen and loved; if we didn't care about that, we would just be writing them and never posting them, because posting your writing can be very vulnerable. That vulnerability can range from "getting hate from fandom bullies" to "getting doxxed and your coworkers seeing your explicit omegaverse fanfic" (which call me dramatic all you like; but there are careers where people can be fired and never find a job again if they're doxxed as having written a certain type of fanfics. I know certain people offline would make sure I never found a job in my career if they discovered my whump account). So yeah, it's a vulnerable choice that we willingly make because we want to share. Posting is about sharing. Why the FUCK would we post stuff, why would we risk all that vulnerability, if we didn't care about people seeing our creations, and if we didn't care about people telling us they loved them? I have written stuff I don't care about sharing, because I love them as they are and honestly can't bother getting into fixing all their mistakes and formatting them into presentable fanfics. That's what you do when you "write for yourself".

So yeah I don't think we get to judge when someone writes only for the sake of attention, and while I understand where that stance is coming from, it needs to be worded in a way that won't make new writers feel like THEY are the problem because the lack of attention on their fic is getting to them. Like, yeah, write for yourself, share for the world - if you want. It's practically impossible to ask of people to not care about the attention their creations will or won't get.

To be honest this whole conversation also included thoughts about interacting with fics through comments, which I also feel comes in a weird wording because I also used to be someone who thought my comments weren't enough. I wanted to comment but being new in fandom and a non-native English speaker I felt that whatever I said wouldn't be enough. Which is why now I'm saying "leave a keysmash, leave an emoji, leave a comment in a different language I can use a translator", because if that reaches even one person who is like I used to be, then that will be a net positive. My point is not to pressure people to comment, this honestly sounds ridiculous to me, if someone doesn't want to comment they just won't. The alternative of a keysmash or an emoji gives the opportunity for people who don't have the words/energy/time/spoons for a long-ass comment to still show their appreciation.

But then there's the "You can't demand people leave comments on your fics if they don't want to". Cool. I'm not. If they don't want to leave a comment they have the option not to and are not obligated to feel bad for it. BUT THAT IS DIFFERENT THAN SAYING PEOPLE WHO GET DISCOURAGED BY LACK OF ATTENTION ARE WRITING FOR THE WRONG REASON.

Because in the instance specifically mentioned in that post, people did love the fic. They did make conversations about it and they were positively inspired by it. There was attention for the fic. And it's honestly absurd to even imply that the author was selfish because that attention their creation got was hidden from them, or because they got upset that people didn't realize that feedback was important to the author. If we are talking about a community, there's no fucking death of the author here. If we want fanfics to be a part of a community, we can give back to the author, and that's not a fucking capitalist view I'm sorry to say. "Give and take" is a basic human instinct. If we're gonna talk with political wording, "from each according to his ability, to each according to his needs" is communism. People give what they can, and receive what they need. The problem is when they create without a need and demand more than others can give. That's capitalism.

Once again (too many times), I get what the original post is critiquing. But we can do that without going to the other extreme, no?

[themorphine]

eloise is my bitch and here is why

never thought i would do this- but here is a very lengthy post on why eloise is actually an AMAZING CHARACTER (notice how i said character, not person !!)

ok i understand the criticisms that come with eloise, i get it. she's naive, a bit self-centered, and tends to not be open to opinions that contradict her own. she was not the best of friends to penelope, pushing her own ideals unto her, and admonishing her for having dreams that

were not her own. she is not a girls girl, as she does not see activities/hobbies that are traditionally more "feminine" as valid interests but as a symbol of oppression. she judges too harshly on people who don't think like her, immediately thinking that they don't possess the

same level of intellect as her. BUT honestly, i think her character is more nuanced than this, and is not as flat as people make her out to be. eloise is the perfect example of a girl sick of the oppression women face IN THIS TIME PERIOD. you see that? in THIS TIME PERIOD.

for a 17 rich girl, its not surprising that she thinks this way, especially living IN HER TIME PERIOD. in this time period "feminine" hobbies are forced upon women, not a choice. while a craft like embroidery is certainly commendable and amazing, we must understand that at least

for eloise, these activities have been forced on her, ones that will help her find a husband. eloise does not view this activity as something that liberates her, but giving into it oppresses her even further. to be honest, in this time period, why else would the women engage in

these activities if not for being a more suitable marriage candidate? for eloise, participating in this activity or any "womanly" activities is perceived in her eyes as giving into societal pressures. so i don't think eloise is necessarily putting down more seemingly "feminine"

activities/hobbies, but is rather befuddled as to how someone could enjoy it, as it is only seen as something to help women in the marriage market. how could someone enjoy an activity that women have been *told* to like, when that is the essence of what eloise fights against?

to be honest, i feel like the comments against eloise are spoken in a modern context, in a context where we know now that embroidery and fiber arts are commendable professions. and if this context is taken of course eloise's actions are seen as unjust.

and to be honest, her reaction IS annoying. as a fiber artist, its always annoying to have my passion dumbed down, to something that does not demonstrate the true power of it. but still, would we really expect eloise, a 17 year old rich white girl who has never read books beyond

her home, to be able to have the opinion that we have? of course not. in her time period her opinions make sense, and i feel like its unfair to judge her character in the context of modern thinking. eloise doesn't know better, and while it is not an excuse, i argue that it makes

her an even better character, one that has so much more room to grow, so much more room to change. i feel like we must remember that she is only 17, a girl is still figuring the world, especially in a time period when women only hold worth in the heirs they produce. of course her

opinion is shallow and lacks depth, SHE'S 17!!!! why wouldn't she be insufferable? i feel like in tv today we always want characters to have no faults, or at least not faults that may make them look like a bad person. this takes away the journey the character may encounter,

that gives more depth to a character and shows us why they think that way, why are like this. nobody likes a women who voices her opinion without regard to what others might think, and to be honest i think that that's one of the biggest reasons people don't like eloise. now i'm

not saying that i support eloise's actions, or that i think she is a "good" person. but i do think she is a phenomenal character and very accurately depicts what a girl with her background may end up being. she has so much room for growth, and is, if you couldn't tell, my fav <3

so stop hating on her because she's not a "girl's girl," because honestly why would she be based on her upbringing and the TIME PERIOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she's a 17 year old girl guys calm tf down

[tolbachik-art]

How does one become good at drawing planets

Hey, thank you so much for the kind words & the question!

I'm still definitely a beginner, and have a long way to go, but it really warms my heart to hear you say that. For starters, getting over any perfectionism you may have is a big must!

I know a lot of people always say this, but practice, time, patience, doing studies, and having fun are the most important ways to get better!

I'll walk you through my progress, and what I've done to get where I am today with things! I will warn you, it did turn out to be a long winded post. If you want the jist of it, you can scroll to the bottom!

So, I've been doing digital art since say, mid 2015 or so. I didn't have much of a grasp on art, and while I grew up loving space and space exploration, I didn't quite understand how things worked.

On August 2nd, 2015 (when I was just 15), I posted my first piece on DeviantArt.

This was my first foray into space art. It may not be the best, but I remember being very excited about it, and actually making a piece like that.

This first piece is a big sign of what issues I would face with space art until very recently; a lack of detailing, leading to a soft appearance.

This would plague me for quite some time; I would put very little effort into detailing, and wouldn't even zoom in on the canvas for quite some time. I would do things from afar, not wanting to zoom in for some weird reason. This can be seen in the following paintings, as well.

This one, also of Neptune, was posted two years after the first one. The framework is kind of there, but only barely. The perspective is off, and once again, the detailing is too minimal and too soft. On top of that, the shading isn't nearly as harsh enough. Compositionally though, I was starting to get a grasp of some basics.

There would be a brief artless period in my life from 2017 to 2020; every once in awhile, I wouldn't do art for a few years. Then, suddenly, I would get back into it and put out several pieces, all before growing quiet once more.

2020, once Covid-19 started happening, would see the return of me to the world of art now that I was suddenly without a job.

Once again, Neptune will be a demonstrator of how my skills changed.

I was starting to get there; in terms of composition, much better than my older works. Coloring is a bit off, but overall, I was starting to actually understand how art works, and why things like detailing were important. One big thing here though; I was still painting with color. That would be one of the last big things for me to get over, although I didn't even know it then.

From the period of 2020-2021, I made a lot of paintings and mission patches for my one friend's KSP youtube series (seen here).

Doing what were essentially mini paintings, I learned a *lot* about composition and detailing. I think the one I spent the longest on was Heywood, in which I did my best to follow imagery from Voyager. Looking back now, however, it isn't quite accurate; that's the south pole! I still had a lot to learn in regards to doing accurate portrayals of celestial bodies, down to inclinations and the like.

Anyways, doing all that really burnt me out, on top of doing free art for people I didn't even know. That's another big lesson; only do gift art if you feel up to it, and for a friend. Do not do it for strangers.

It wasn't until late 2022, in September, that I actually finished a piece again. My illness had been pretty bad, leaving me bedbound for quite some time. However, during that time, I hadn't lost my skills thankfully.

This would be one of my first somewhat decent portrayals of Jupiter and one of his moons, using SpaceEngine for getting reference images and making sure all the parts were in the right place. This would set the groundwork for later paintings, as I always use SpaceEngine now to make sure I have the orientations and sizes of things in the sky right! It's been an invaluable tool, I quite literally don't know where I'd be without it.

Anyways; after that, it was very sparse once more, up until quite literally this year. Sickness sprung up again, and I had a rough winter due to the loss of my grandfather to Covid-19, among other things.

2024 saw, in my personal opinion, the biggest and best change to my art yet.

PAINTING IN VALUES!!!!!!!!!

I cannot stress this enough; understanding what values are, and how to see them in every day life literally changed my entire perspective on things. On life! I cannot go outside anymore without comparing and contrasting values of objects and natural phenomena.

This was before values. Not bad, but still not great. Detailing was getting there. This is from March 27th, 2024, and was part of an art trade with @dan-asd of their worldbuilding project.

And this, this is 3 months later, from July 16th, 2024. Commission for @corvidist, my very first. This was a massive leap in the way I understood and processed the world around me, and in turn, what my art looked like.

Everything is in values. Your phone, with the seemingly pure black LCD touchscreen to the blue and purple phone case. The clouds, with their bright white tops and dark bottoms. The river, with the murky green waters contrasting with the bright orange stones. All values, just differing shades of gray with color added! Everything is light! Everything is the absence of light! Light is the entirety of your piece; you just have to understand where light falls, and where it doesn't.

Apart from that, everything is just rudimentary shapes and lines. The universe is made up of different kinds of lines and shapes. Entire worlds can be reduced to light and lines, people can be too. You just need to know what to look for, and how to process that into artwork.

I cannot stress how much understanding that, and doing tiny little paintings really helped me get a much better grasp on things.

Take some time, get a small canvas out, and paint your favorite celestial body. Take as much or as little time as you need, and just have fun with it. Play with color, play with values, whatever your heart desires!

Once you're done, take a step back, and compare it to the picture. Analyze what areas you didn't enjoy, and what areas you did. Look for what doesn't line up with the picture, and think of how you could better approach it. Think of how you can change the lighting to make it seem more real, what effects are needed to bring it to life.

Art is the process of taking what you love, and putting it to paper (digital or not!). Focus on what you enjoy doing; it will all come naturally with time. You'll start to pick up on things, big and small, that will bring your pieces closer and closer to what you want it to be.

And please, for the love of everything that is holy, have fun with it and don't overthink it! You will be so disappointed in yourself if you hype yourself up for a piece, only for it to come out not the way you expected. That's ok! That's part of learning! It can be disheartening, but if you take the time to look at how and why you don't like the piece, it'll come out so much better next time around!

Talk to people, too! Talking with my dear email-pal Eduardo was my first step into understanding astronomical art, and thinking on how to improve my work. He really helped me step into the right direction when I was just starting out, which I am still eternally grateful for to this day. I think of him and his work often; he really was a massive help.

In more recent times, talking to @whirligig-girl helped me to get a better grip on realism, and how better to portray celestial bodies. She was a huge help in giving me pointers for fixing up my View From Amalthea piece, as well as the ones that followed after. Talking to artists more experienced than you and getting critiques is always a huge help; it can really show you things in a new light!

Speaking of, don't be afraid to let a piece rest and marinate for a bit. A day, a week, or even a year. It doesn't matter. You will come back to it, and you will see new things you never saw before, and think of new ways to improve upon it. I have a piece that's been in limbo for YEARS, and I still have yet to actually get to paint it (the top one, the alien one (i will never finish that Uranus piece though lol)). I have it perfectly envisioned now, so waiting really did pay off in the end.

Essentially, it all boils down to this:

Everything is light, or lack thereof.

Don't overthink it, and have fun.

Do not do free art for strangers.

Everything is shapes and lines.

Step back and look at your pieces, deconstructing them in your mind or on paper.

Examine your everyday life, and see how everything interacts in terms of values and color.

Do studies, please god, do studies they're so fun and eyeopening

Warmup! Warm! Up! WARMUP!!!!! They are critical to getting your mind in the art headspace! You will feel less interested and less focused otherwise!

Don't worry about your medium, just do what you enjoy and works best for you! There is no such thing as a perfect brush!

Talk to other artists in fields you enjoy!

I love talking about art, I really could go on for hours, but I will stop myself here.

You decide what you get out of art; it's your skill, your time, so do what you desire! These are only anecdotes about my experiences with art; they aren't universal, but I do hope they've helped. If you have any questions, any questions at all, don't hesitate to reach out!

Lastly, here are two resources for you for any future artworks you may do:

I got this book many years ago, but the lessons it gave me were invaluable. I mean it; they helped me to understand the importance of doing studies, and for detailing!

Paid membership, but an organization dedicated to doing astronomical art. I have yet to join, but I've heard lovely things about it! Hoping to join later this year, funds allowing.

I will finally end this here. Thank you so much for the ask, and I hope you have a lovely rest of your day!

[snackara]

Hey there! Sorry it took me so long, but I finally got my questions ready for your "Solomonar Chronicles"!

I remember that this series was inspired by how bad "Fantastic Beast" got after the first film. (which I get, the other two were such wasted potential) Is anything else from Harry Potter being used for inspiration for your series?

How did you come up with your character names?

Who would say is your favorite character that you made?

Do these characters get trauma like the ones in "Upon a Star?"

Are you going to do more Draconology Files? That one caught my interest the most since I'm studying dragon biology for a villain in my superhero story.

Would this be formatted like a regular book, or play out like a movie?

Is Solomonar Chronicles like a series with each chapter being an episode, or one large story broken up into chapters?

Why did you choose the 1920's for the setting? Its not a bad thing, I actually really enjoy stories set in that period. I'm just curious.

Will we see designs for the characters some day?

Any major villains coming up we should know about?

Are there other fantasy creatures in this world, or just dragons?

I was also curious about your "Dinosauroids Project" story too. I finished the first story of my "Visitors From Pangea" trilogy, so I'm curious how you would write a dinosaur based project.

In regards to original stories we're making, I'm currently creating one called "SuperZeroes", where its a story inspired by all the CBM I grew up with. Not sure if you're into heroes, but I was hoping I could share some stuff I have with you? At least while I'm still building the world and characters.

Thank you! 🐶

Oh hell yeah, ask away!

I took a lot of inspiration from problems I found in the world-building. If you want an in-depth look at the flaws in the Wizarding World, I highly recommend this video. It’s very long, but very good. The main flaw I wanted to tackle with this series is the whole Statue of Secrecy, and how it’s more harmful than helpful for mages and non-mages alike. Also this is not a Harry Potter thing, but weirdly enough Deadpool and Wolverine had a heavy influence on the story.

I looked up lists of common names from the 1920s and picked out some that stood out to me for first and last names. Except for Atticus and Clara. Those two just sort of came to me.

Either Atticus or Jesse, it’s a tough choice. On one hand you have Atticus ,who’s deeply traumatized and scarred but over the course of the story slowly heals and finding good in the world again. And on the other is Jesse, who’s just an absolute sweetheart and so supportive of his lover.

Oh heavens no…it’s so much worse in this series. Just look at Atticus.

Yes, I have a couple in my drafts I’ve been meaning to work on.

Im hoping to get it published as a real book series someday, so it’s formatted like a normal novel.

More like a larger story broken up into chapters, for the most part.

Mainly because that was when the Fantastic Beasts trilogy was set. I’ll probably tie it into the themes of the story better with prohibition and the non-mage government, but for now that’s it. Shallow? Yeah. But it works.

I’ve been digging through concept art to use as references lately. So far the pickings are a little slim for how I envision dragons, but I still have some stuff.

Edward Donahue. He’s basically the head of the mage CIA but somehow worse (Keepers), is the strongest believer in keeping non-mages and mages separate, and oh yeah basically started all of this by killing William Torrence and burning half of Atticus’ face off. So yeah, not a great guy.

There are plenty. I’m not sure how I’ll fit them in at the moment, but they will appear, because I have some interesting interpretations. One fun idea I have is making fairies more like bugs than tiny humans.

It’s based of a theory originally created back in the 1980s by David Russell which explores the question of “What if dinosaurs never went extinct and involved human-like intelligence?” It’s a really fascinating concept that I’m surprised more people haven’t picked up on. My own story is based on concept art created by C.M. Koseman and Simon Roy. Unfortunately I don’t have a solid story yet, just some worldbuilding stuff.

Yes please

And thank you for the asks!

[seventeenlovesthree]

You know, one thing about getting older, at least for me, is the realization that keeping up that whimsical spirit is hard. Very hard.

I have spent the past four years trying to maintain routines in regards to self-care and, while it worked out well for a period of time, the "noise" out there is very persistent to break your habits. By "noise", I don't just mean the world out there, the constant stream of social media providing you with news and tragedies, a ruthless algorithm that is very hard to avoid if you're seeking that little serotonin streak out there. Yes, I agree that our attention spans have been pretty much messed up and that it's VERY difficult to get back to some... Quiet.

That's why the noise basically refers to everything - your social life, family, friends, partners, acquaintances, colleagues, all the people out there, but also the things you surround yourself with. Habits, food choices and sleeping rhythms, once again, the media you consume while trying not get consumed by it...

I keep going on about how I had re-started drawing back in 2021 after a rough 10-year-break in which I simply didn't feel like drawing at all. I was occupied with other things during time - and if you're familiar with my tumblr, you know that that's been heavily related to football. I loved my clubs, I loved by NT and for the longest time, I could get by despite the set-backs and bad developments surrounding it. Right now I am staring at my PC and am slowly but steadily realizing that basically all the players that led me towards football have retired. Either just from the NT or completely. There are players, relatable figures, people I (used to) look up to, that inspired me, that brought be through the day, week, month, year. It was a fun time. But then the "noise" took over. The people I rambled with ended up just as frustrated and left. Only a few of them are left, but the majority - me included - has moved on to other things. Why? Because it had become too draining, too negative. The bubble had popped, several figures in the business had turned out to be unbelievably "bad people" (I'll keep this PG), things were so commercialized, unfamiliar and just... Opportunistic. The "whimsical spirit" was so hard to maintain and even if this Summer provided a little spark, it still feels alienating. There is still a glimpse of hope, but, again, you REALLY have to hold onto that.

The same goes for my other "fandoms" to be honest. Don't get me wrong, I still have fun sitting in my little corner and draw, write and create little things - even if it's mostly for myself, sometimes I do wonder why interactions have become so scarce. The atmosphere on social media is incredibly... Empty sometimes. I'm not just saying that because a lot of people have not grasped the reblogging system on this site. You may have heard the concept of people being overexposed by the neverending stream of art, "content" being thrown at them from all sides... It's become more of a product to consume than a thing to look at and enjoy and savour. And I feel that myself. I used to save fanart to my phone and computer and find myself looking at it countless times. I still do that with several art pieces, but... I assume it's because the brain has become somewhat tired that we cannot appreciate it like we used to.

Everything is just... Happening too fast and I feel like I need to have a detox every now and then. My brain still craves the serotonin of seeing new, beautiful art. But to get there, I have to get through a sea of things that get me anxious. Even with filters, even with blocking things I don't wanna see... It's not the same.

The same also applies to media in general - I'm currently in a fandom of a series that's kinda "walking on air". There is the possibility of a new animation being planned out there somewhere, somewhen, maybe... But a part of me isn't even sure if I want something "new". Consider myself "old" when I say this, but a lot of things that come out these days, sequels, reboots, remakes of things I used to enjoy as a kid... Simply don't hit the same way anymore. There's a reason why I find myself rewatching the old stuff over and over again and often have quite a mixed relationship with more recent things. EVA is one of the few franchises that, in my opinion, managed to get to a satisfying ending after ALL these years, but I am TERRIFIED for the new Madoka movie. I haven't even dared to look at Sailor Moon Cosmos, simply because I know my brain is tainted by how much enjoyed the 90s anime and how much of a clusterf*ck Crystal/Eternal/Cosmos has been for the past ten years... On the same note, do we really need a One Piece remake? And Digimon? I would loathe the idea of an Adventure remake... Because it would not only contradict the messages of the previous entries of the series; move on but keep the things you love close to you... It would simply not... Satisfy me. A part of me wants to see how the OG timeline goes on, but what if there'll be things to contradict it all even more? Do I want things to go on for the sake of keeping the nostalgia alive, even though the fear of mischaracterizations is very real? Do I really want the milking of the cash-cow to continue? To hunt for breadcrumbs? The commercialisation and... Opportunism? And why does it feel like I've heard that before...?

I don't want to end this post on a negative note. I'm gonna turn 34 in a few weeks, I've been into TV shows and had my hyperfocus topics basically since I was like 7 or so. I might always find things that keep the whimsical spirit alive to some degree. But I need to remind myself to not let the "noise" get too loud every once in a while.

[marimayscarlett]

'ello beloved, I am very curious and figured you'd certainly be the best to ask this question! what has Richard explicitly said about the boat rides and them unnerving him? :o it's well-established among us here that they make him nervous, and if i'm not mistaken there was a long period he wouldn't partake, but i actually know very little facts about this and the details. i figured i needed to consult the Richard encyclopedia. 😌 thank you <3

Hello dear! 🤍

I'm afraid I have to disappoint you in this regard - I went through my archive of Richard's interviews but unfortunately couldn't find any statements from him about the boat tours 🔎

Generally, like probably many others in the fandom, I deduce his inner aversion to the boat tours from his general reactions and visually noticeable mood on the boat and before the boat tours. There used to be such moments:

Nowadays, however, without wanting to speculate, Richard looks (not always but a lot of times) rather tense during boat tours and simply a bit anxious when it comes to getting into the boat. Whether something happened that might have changed his attitude, or if it has always been that way, I do not know, and I want to avoid speculating. Here are a few posts that show some situations regarding the boat tours in the past few years, f.e. where it's shown how others encourage him or make sure he's safe (and one little relaxed moment at least once):

(thank you to @notafraidofredyellowandblue for most of these!)

My small, silly theory is that Richard might simply feel more comfortable when he is not alone in the boat, since another person provides distraction, tangible security (he is not entirely alone if something should happen), and a companion who could either encourage him or simply help him not to face the huge crowd alone 🚣🏻���♀️👬🏻🙂‍↕️ But then again, just a theory ☝🏻

[esprei]

have recently learned there's a bit more hate around trainwreckshipping than i was aware of so i guess i just wanted to talk about it a bit and give my two cents on the ship, how i see it and i guess my perspective on things. i've kind of always wanted to talk about it, but i just haven't been brave enough until now haha (sorry, i am not super eloquent when it comes to writing things like this so my apologies) ((also throwing it under a cut because it may get long and might also include some slightly sad-ish things so i don't want to just throw that in everyone's face you know))

----

i think i'll just preface things by saying i've always totally understood why trainwreckshipping has gotten so much flack since its inception. or hate, because maybe flack just isn't strong enough of a word. but i do understand. there were mischaracterizations of emmet by portraying him as violent to volo because it was assumed that volo was directly responsible for ingo's disappearance. i was guilty of it. suuuuuper guilty. and i can understand why that put the ship in such a position for many people. toxic, unhealthy, etc. but... i think what i'm a bit confused on i guess is the fact that it's still viewed so much this way to this day. viewed as one of the worst ships because of how toxic it is. how unhealthy it is. all because it started that way in fanon only. but you know, from a canon standpoint, it has nothing. nothing at all. so really, this ship could be anything because it's based in fanon only. no canon interactions of emmet and volo exist yet. there is no official basis on how these characters would interact with each other. and yes, while there were misunderstandings of both characters early on, that certainly doesn't mean it's still that way today. that doesn't mean that people haven't studied and looked at these two characters a little closer to understand them better and to try and make them more realistic to their canon portrayals. to make more accurate depictions of these characters and how that fits in to a healthier perspective with them. i dunno. it just kinda baffles me that with the variety of trainwreckshipping content out there now, some still call it toxic and unhealthy as if we're perpetually stuck in that time period of when it was. like it's not allowed to be anything but that ever just because it started that way. and what makes me the saddest about it all is now seeing so many friends and people in the community of the ship start to get disheartened and discouraged from enjoying something they really actually enjoy because there's still such a bad stigma to the ship. personally for a long time i've just ignored that stigma because i try not to let that stuff drag me down. but i will admit that yes, it has made me more reluctant to post any art i do of it. i've definitely had my periods where i've questioned uploading my emmet/volo art, usually as wholesome as it is, because it does have such a dark cloud around it fandom wise. it's why i made my side blog, in fact. because i just didn't feel very comfortable uploading mostly emmet/volo art here to my main because so many people dislike it or outright hate it.

and in regards to the ship itself, i think i've always thought of it in a slightly different way than most. not so much enemies to lovers but rather through the lens of how volo might could change, be redeemed, see the how his actions in the past inadvertently affected others (and by that I mean his involvement in opening the rift... like yes, that could be what caused ingo to be sent to hisui, but we don't know that for sure... and even if that was the case, volo didn't do it specifically to target ingo. volo was only ever interested in trying to get to arceus and build a better world in his vision).

or how volo could look at emmet after getting to know him and potentially see the beauty and value of the current world through him. you know, seeing someone like emmet and admiring that he can still find a reason to smile and be kind despite all of the pain and suffering he must have gone through since ingo's disappearance. volo starting to see a different perspective than he did before (aka wanting to build a new world because the current one was too full of pain and suffering) because of emmet. i dunno. that's just me personally. because since actually looking more at volo's character and his dialogue in game i've been real interested in redemption paths for him. exploring those possibilities. i just enjoy exploring said possibilities mostly through the dynamic i have in my head for him and emmet because it's fun. it interests me. i see cool potential in it. i enjoy it a lot. and while i don't think i ever portray volo super accurately, or even emmet for that matter, i still think i've come a long way since first finishing pla and ever looking at emmet/volo interactions. but regardless of all of that, that's the beauty of a ship of this nature. a ship that has absolutely no basis in canon. because it really can be anything you want it to be. it can be enemies to lovers, it can be more wholesome, it can be whatever. it's not locked into a specific dynamic because the characters have never officially met each other, let alone had a conversation. and even if that were the case... AUs are still a thing. :D

anyway that's pretty much all i had. just wanted to talk about it a bit because i've seen a recent uptick in people mentioning all of the hate and dislike for the ship etc and i dunno. i enjoy the ship a lot. it's just sad to see that there's still so much hate around it even though a lot of the content now is not like how it originally started. not from what i've seen, at least.

and while i don't expect anyone who hates it to ever warm up to it, i just wish it could be understood that the more toxic, unhealthy dynamic is not the basis of anymore. there are healthier portrayals of it now.

[bentosandbox]

better late than never amirite

i think i haven't posted july (cause I thought global would have released TBC by now...) or october (commission) on here/twitter hopefully i remember to sometime this year

bonus chen edition because well i guess she is my cringefail girlboss blorbo

bonus chenswire edition

bonus bonus extremely boring stuff

films i watched in 2022 (tragedy of macbeth out of picture because it was on the next row)

top 10 (in watched order not a 1-10 ranking)

Marketa Lazarova (1967) Friend was streaming it, liked the script so much I asked my friend for the srt file after Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022) Rocks Petite Maman (2021) Personal Attack Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (2000) :) My Life as a Zucchini (2016) Celine Sciamma truly don't miss Saturday Fiction (2019) It's not a 5/5 movie but...the soul... the period noir... Nope (2022) The Spectacle dot jpg Hands Over The City (1963) yes i watched this just before il siracusano Decision To Leave (2022) yuriyaoi straight romance can't elaborate Puss In Boots (2022) i'm so glad i didn't watch this as a kid i would have nightmares, but as an adult i got to see my traumas on the big screen yippee!!!

missed a local screening of My Broken Mariko because it only happened for ONE DAY fucking insane (I recommend reading the original manga it's so good)

Speaking of books hmm

Swordspoint yuriyaoi... Invisible Ink reread. and I think I need to reread again Fire & Blood read it after watching hotd ep 1 pretty good series btw dare i say even ...the best on-screen yaoiyuri of the year... Eagle Shooting/Condor Heroes Book 1 Not bad Water Margin Didn't I write a angry rant on this. rite of passage i guess...... How to Keep House While Drowning its funny because i WILL do chores......still good though What My Bones Know - insane how trauma can be so isolating yet universal lol A Wizard of Earthsea if only i read this instead of harry potter back then lmao wow

you can now basically psychoanalyse my issues from the last three books I think

Uhhhhhhh what else am I missing - oh yeah I did 3 gamejams this year (Art/Design and a liiiiiitle bit of trying to do the UI in Unity myself instead of giving the pngs to my friends)

my abysmal steam stats told me i only played 5 games this year so I need to get back my gamer license, backlog is like 75% VNs though what's up with that (there's only 4 games but. well)

had a really long blogpost (basically a 'look at all the things you did this year you didnt waste it' thing thus the above lists) but i think i'll just keep it to my notion notes lest this post becomes a traumadumping ground ecks dee tl;dr failed a Very Important (to me) Thing early 2022 that kind of shattered any crumb of self-esteem i had and made me question everything i did onwards (especially in regards to doujin stuff) and then basically physical health issues affecting mental health and vice versa which is fun but fuck it we ball.....(try)

don't really have any solid 'resolutions' (that i would remember to do) other than to 'live' more than just 'survive' as edgy as that sounds 🥴oh wait oc zine yea yea and go into illustration full time h-haha........... should really get around to making a patreon/fanbox but i really hate the idea of paywalling

also signed up for a AK doujin event in Nagoya in March so I now have a very heavy motivation to finish the second half of my LGD doujin and hopefully I get to table at AX too dot dot dot

[senselessalchemist]

Youtube waited 2 weeks to recommend me new motion twin game trailer? But served me like 20 jerma clips in that same period that I immediately said "do not recommend" to? Literally don't know what the fuck the algorithm is thinking. (I am begging algorithm stop fucking showing me that streamer man I do not like him I do not want to watch clips of him or compilations or vods or anything.)

I am... torn, because obviously something like this was coming, and I will likely enjoy the game, but I've been so spoiled by semi regular Dead Cells updates and also it's my Thing, and I'm bad at dealing with endings, so this is very bittersweet. More on the bitter side than sweet tbh but I'm actively trying to be a non-bitter person so.

Cute little guys tho, can't deny that. Definitely hope the game keeps some of the same visual interest as dead cells b/c probably one of the things that does make me come back to it is the visuals, especially the color palettes. Hades is very good in that regard too (and probably better in terms of style, but I'm a sucker for pixel art), but a lot of games* vaguely in the same arena as dead cells are beautiful but muted and/or deliberately kind of dark/grimy/restricted to very limited color palettes. Based on the fairly limited footage it definitely looks like it will.

*games I've actually played. There could be hundreds of great pretty bright games that get lumped into the same broad metroidvania/roguelike/roguelite/whatever category as dead cells that I havent experienced. Only speaking to what I've been exposed to personally.

[mallowstep]

i hope you’re doing okay. 💙 it’s ok if you don’t answer this, i just wanted you to know folks are still thinking about you and wanting good things for you.

thank you babe (and thank you to everyone else who sent a message to this effect; i will answer them when i can)

i'm doing pretty well right now. i've been very busy at work, working on a top secret classified project (god only knows when you'll get more details than what i've already shared ;3), and also just. recovering from depression. there is so much of my life that even months out from the worst of it, i'm still trying to pull the pieces back together.

i have been writing a little. it's been difficult, mostly because of numerous incidents regarding writing and mental health (if you've been here for a while, you probably know about them; if you're new, the tldr is "mallowstep went off the wall for a bit and he's fine but it left him feeling bad"), and now i face down the summer which is...rough, mentally.

i don't know what normal looks like for me right now. i want to write but i don't know how it will fit into my life. i'm still making space for myself, in all the chaos and reconstruction. i know writing will be a part of normal for me. i just don't know where it fits yet.

it's been a while since i've felt like myself. the hollow feeling is abating. i am finding words to describe emotion again, that are more than just there or missing. i have been thinking about the stories i have yet to work on. what i want to tell next.

it has been an incredible two years for me. when i started this blog, i had just been broken up with by my boyfriend of three years, only a month or so after my childhood cat and dog had died one day apart. i was coping with so much impossible grief: i wrote the second chapter of i'll come back to you someday soon myself after my grandmother died, and i did not write anything after that for quite a while.

my wrists are healing. they hurt a little today and i'm not sure why, but they are healing.

i'll be going back to university as a natural resources major. i want a job that lets me protect and cultivate the forests i find so much comfort in. the complex webs of their ecosystems bring me so much delight. did you know trees talk to their daughters? did you know they care for their children? protect them?

it has been an incredible two years. i met my now-partner, learned how to actually trust people, and failed out of a year of college due to collapsing mental health. i went through approximately one million assessments to get a diagnosis and understand what was happening to me. i had a doctor tell me i was being undermedicated to an astounding degree. i had to let go of my beloved plants because i couldn't keep myself alive, much less then. i found a job i love so much i am eager to go to work every morning.

i honestly don't think i would've recognized who i am now, back when i started out here. i have become someone who trusts. who has connections with people. who does not fear so much. (i have also become someone who cries as i drive home from work sometimes. i have also become someone who needs to sit on the floor and count all the pieces of art i can see. we move in spirals, not straight lines.)

all of this is to say, i have been quiet on here for quite a while because i have been recovering from two years (a lifetime) of some truly exhausting events, as well as letting myself find things i enjoy. when i got out of high school, i loved what i was doing academically. i had very little passion. it had been bled out of me.

i am incredibly grateful to each and every one of you. your support, even in my period of dormancy, has meant so much. my relationship with writing sometimes feels like i am fighting my double, trying to balance both my need to use writing to understand myself, and my tendencies to ruin myself in the process.

i still don't have any promises to make, because i really don't know what's next for me. but i am still here, and you all still mean something to me.

with all my love, mallow

[tamelee]

Hey tamelee! :) first of all, I LOVE your blog. Your art is amazing and so are your Naruto analysis. Thank you for sharing all of this with us! :)

Now on to my question. I've just read your answer to the ask regarding the ending of Naruto, where you talked about the slow pacing and bad writing of the anime and so on.

What do you think how the manga (or Naruto in general) could have ended if there hadn't been a need to introduce Kaguya and everything that comes with her? Or maybe, what would you have wished for? I'd really like to hear your thoughts on this :)

Hi @shileyn-nea ! 💕

Thankyou so much for your kind words and encouragement!! 🥰 It makes doing what I love even better 🧡! Oh yes, the Anime is something else.. Now, I personally don't know how much truth there is to this but even my friend from Japan acknowledged it and said the fandom talked about it on a forum so take it how you will- After 'Naruto' the story ended Kishimoto wanted one last movie that showed Naruto becoming Hokage and it would've been around the age Minato became Hokage. In our case, that would've been instead of 'the Last; Hinata's Genjutsu Fest'. Again, I don't know if Kishimoto really said this, but it would make perfect sense as... it was Naruto's biggest dream (on the surface, but still) which was never fully realized. But we did get a cold bucket thrown over our heads in some random last chapter and in the end his dream was crushed still because it was visualized as something Naruto never got to celebrate nor was he shown to be excited about becoming Hokage regardless. And lemme tell you.. that says a whole lot of somethings 👀.. It is just terrible overall. But imagine.. 699 Chapters and then having a movie based on a new Chapter 700 where Naruto is a bit older and we get to see him genuinely become Hokage and something changed within the Shinobi system. It doesn't have to be something major, we only need a hint as it will be a lifelong journey anyway. Sasuke is there of course, because nothing keeps him from staying away now, there is actual meaning to their characters, they cooperate freely as we see him finding some answer to his question (or multiple) he still had. (During Vote2.) It is some sort of middle ground between Naruto wanting all the villages working together and Sasuke's revolution, but they do it together. They aren't alone and don't display these insane visuals of their loneliness BECAUSE THEY ARE STILL LONELY TODAY in their current situations. But working together like that? That is a vision they share. And we get an entire movie about it!! I don't think Naruto was ready at all to be Hokage at the end of the story, unlike Gaara who was very young as well but now he was.. what? 30+? Why...? And what did he do in the meantime instead of counting headbands? We never got to see :/ I'm so bitter about it. I don't mind Kaguya's will being a part of the war, but Madara being nerfed like that was lame. We already had the plot twist during Obito, we didn't need it again with Madara... I wish to see all 'Naruto' sequels, fillers and novels gone and forgotten, for Kishimoto to say 'Naruto' is still ongoing, say that Chapter 700 was fake so that he can make a new one and then we get a proper movie. I know he liked the 'Boruto' movie and considered it his own personal project, it was alright, but sacrifices are needed. And then! We could've also had a blank period Gaiden Manga from the man himself. But alas...