#i'm honestly surprised i've made it this far with as little issues as i have

[violetsareblue-selfships]

good morning!! <33

[invinciblerodent]

These days I kind of can't stop thinking about how much I enjoyed the possibility of being from Orzammar in Origins, specifically because just being who you are put so much of the early game in a wholly different context.

Like, a dwarf from Orzammar has, by definition, lived literally under a rock their whole lives!! They've never left the underground, and yes, while that also makes their ignorance of surface squabbles (the mage issue, the Ferelden/Orlais conflict, everything with the city elves and the Dalish, etc.) make a lot of sense, it also comes with so many interesting new angles that I'm honestly so surprised still that I've never really seen it mentioned very often, if at all. (Even though we even get an explicit moment to reflect on it, when leaving with Oghren.)

In Origins, the moment a dwarf first steps out through the gates of Orzammar and begins the game, is a profoundly life-altering experience. Dare I say, even more so than it is for an elf or a human. Because stepping out, for the first time, they are entering an entirely new world, and for the first time, in front of them is a vast expanse of nothing but air.

The end of the prologue, it's not just a fundamental personal change that awaits you, it's also a displacement so complete, that it's absolutely dizzying to even think about.

That first time a dwarf feels the sun on their skin, they are made sun-touched, a surfacer: stripped not only from caste and kin, of identity, but also faith and memory, any favor their ancestors may have still held for them, and any possibility of ever returning, as far as they know. (Aeducan may even have a bitter little chuckle over the irony of how they could very well have just one day before shrugged off the concerns of their surface brethren completely, only to be made one of them now.)

Their whole lives, they had always been able to see the opposite wall of the cave, or at least to know for sure that it's there, along with the miles and miles of unchanging, crystal-littered rock stretching protectively over their heads-- now all of that is gone. There's nothing between them, and the infinite and ever-changing blue, grey, orange, black of the open sky they've never seen, and in the distance, there's no wall-- just glorious, humongous mounds and spires of rock jutting up into the belly of the sky, the likes of which they've only ever seen from the inside.

Orzammar, despite no sunlight ever penetrating that far, is always lit bright, and it's heated by the lava streams and pools below. A dwarf has never known anything colder or warmer, brighter or darker, never seen seasons change... the biting winds and the frequent rains in Ferelden are completely new to them, not to mention the terrifying cracks of thunder that sound like the very Stone over them cracking in two, the bright flashes of lightning illuminating the night for but a moment, or waking in the middle of the night to what sounds like countless fingers pat-pat-patting the tarp of their tent, or the fact that animals -which are varied and plentiful and wholly alien- sometimes just randomly fall into the sky, like the rumors say! They might know academically that with birds, that just sort of tends to happen, but they've never seen one take off!!

Hell, all of surface flora and fauna are completely new to them-- it's likely they've only ever seen a tree or a dog in a picture book. Flowers, they've likely only ever seen as an expensive and frivolous luxury few can afford to have for a while, and even then, they are by necessity brought in removed from their roots, dead, wilting, taken from their natural place... while here, blooms just spring up underfoot willy-nilly, not entirely unlike mushrooms at the home which is not theirs anymore.

And... there must be something organic, something comfortingly animal to the scent of hundreds of warm bodies crammed into a sealed hole in the ground-- which is just gone now. The air is fresh, clean... empty, cold, lonely. No smell of spilled ale, piss, and vomit, no thick scent of the combined breaths and bodies of all their people... no scent of belonging, the air that moves their lungs now is no longer that which has moved those of all they've ever known, and every breath washes more, and more, and more of who they once were from inside their very body.

Being on the surface, it's like being thrust into an alien world, with which all just expects you to be intimately familiar. What do you mean the grass, the bugs, the birds, the leaves are strange? What do you mean you've never eaten leaves from this plant, fruit from this tree, the flesh of this creature you've only ever heard about? They laugh when you avert your eyes from the sky and try not to think about falling into it, or when you startle at the feeling of falling water suddenly hitting your skin, as if that was somehow funny, charming.

The night, which you've never before seen fall, is a comfort from all that endless, boundless seeing- but after the Joining, not even that is a relief.

Because if you're a dwarven Warden, all the dreams you've had in your life have been nightmares.

So you cope. You learn, and adapt, and endure.

Strong and immutable, like the Stone from which you were rent.

[kazz-brekker]

hotd episode 2 thoughts

aegon screaming hysterically and smashing up viserys's model of old valyria…alicent unable to get through a sentence without sobbing…helaena staring blankly at the wall and clutching jaehaerys's blanket…i love acting but also that all kind of broke me.

genuinely i am enjoying tom glynn-carney as aegon SO much, he's quickly becoming one of my favorite actors on the show and gives his character so much nuance.

otto using his grandson's horrific death as a pr stunt…truly that man never stops working, he's always on the clock.

i also LOVED the big blowout fight scene between rhaenyra and daemon, it's about time someone dragged that man to hell and back. "the darkness you sheathe within yourself like a sword" and "i don't trust you" and "you're pathetic" go OFF rhaenyra!

criston please don't send someone else on a suicidal assassination mission because you were slacking your duty and banging alicent while the heir to the throne got decapitated. oh, who i am kidding, that man has never had a normal reaction to anything in his life.

i'm so glad we got an actual scene with baela (and the promise of more with her and moondancer in future weeks!) since she and rhaena have been horrendously underused so far.

aemond you have so many issues please go to therapy not a brothel. also i've blogged about this before but the idea that he really thinks he's an equal threat to daemon honestly is so silly.

alyn AND addam of hull spotted, we've got the complete set, and a little teaser of seasmoke as well!

the scene between corlys and rhaenys where corlys was like "if daemon would just submit to rhaenyra and enjoy being a bottom as i do on occasion" made me laugh so hard my sister asked me if i was okay.

i'm very intrigued by the scene between rhaenyra and mysaria (especially the mutual bonding over being exasperated by daemon) since they're technically on the same side but very much at odds in the book and i'm curious to know if this will continue in future episodes.

i really like that this season is emphasizing the perspectives of smallfolk like the hull brothers, hugh hammer, and the brothel mistress, it's something i felt was missing in season 1.

this really was an episode of targaryen men getting absolutely dragged by others for their poor political decisions. can't say i support otto's decisions most of the time but he was 100% correct about aegon.

also the moment where otto realized he had schemed for 20+ years to land a total idiot who just fired him on the throne…delicious, but rhys ifans played it so well i honestly still felt bad for him.

daeron mention! at this point i was honestly starting to think they had cut him from the show so that was a surprise.

as an identical twin i very much enjoyed the erryk and arryk drama but i must admit that i ALSO could not tell the twins apart when they were dueling. someone please revoke my twin card.

alicent walking into a room, seeing aegon crying, and just walking out was kind of funny ngl.

i really didn't expect criston and alicent's dynamic this season but i'm honestly enjoying it a lot. the mutual self-flagellation over their affair, alicent repeatedly slapping him and criston allowing it…really fun honestly.

caraxes is properly coming back next episode and it's true, i HAVE missed that noodle boy <3

also it looks like our first proper looks at harrenhal, moondancer, and a bracken vs. blackwood fight!

[milkweedtussocktubers]

An Extensive "What Now?" List

So, I made a list. A very extensive "Trump Is President. What Now?" list. And it's fucking eighteen pages long and I know it's incomplete, because I am white, and multi-gender, own my own home, have full coverage health insurance and live in a blue state with enshrined abortion rights and so honestly can't know everything that needs to be on that list. BUT I'm posting what I've got so far. I'll also post the link, because it's a Google Doc that I'm continuously updating and sharing. PLEASE do not take my word as gospel - comment, add, share, spread, correct, message me. This is just a jumping off point, because so many of my friends wanted an action plan. Many links and resources are credited to @creature-wizard and @enfinizatics; they don't know it, but I read their posts and find their work very helpful, so I hope they don't mind that I included some of their links and info. Better than reinventing the wheel.

I would love some suggestions for supporting Indigenous Rights, the rights of children and the rights of the unhoused.

So THIS is the link:

(Yes, I called it Star Wars. Bite me.)

TRUMP IS PRESIDENT. NOW WHAT?

I put together a list of ideas that I hope folks find inspiration in. This can be a personal action plan, a path towards resistance, or just an opportunity to feel a bit better. I welcome all thoughts, suggestions and changes. Please note that I am writing this from the perspective of a white, multi-gender farmer, and that will color and inhibit my ability to see certain issues or solutions. This is not a complete list, but can be a jumping-off point. 

I've found this website incredibly helpful: https://whatiftrumpwins.org. Links and many resources found within this document are credited to @creature-wizard and @enfinizatics on Tumblr. 

Something I try to remember: we already know what they're going to do. History demonstrates to us that we shouldn't be surprised. Therefore, in some ways, it doesn't matter the specifics of their actions. It matters how we respond. Because the other thing to remember is that no matter what, most of the items on this list are going to make the world a better place. And that, unquestionably, should always be how we respond.

COMMUNITY AND PUBLIC SERVICE 

Community ties are the most important things we’ve got - that’s where our strength lies. All those small-scale mutual aid projects? That’s what’s going to make life possible on the day to day. So: 

Take a deep breath, and knock on someone’s door. 

Check in with your neighbors - this can be a scheduled date, or just swinging by with an extra loaf of zucchini bread, or chatting over the garden fence. 

Offer to help someone with a simple task - cleaning gutters, building a raised bed, taking their dog to the vet.

Create a carpool system. 

Set up little libraries, freezers and fridges. 

Develop a list of ten local people you trust, with their contact information, and who you know will try to help you. Put the list in your phone, on your fridge, in your wallet. Put yourself on someone else’s list, and commit to it. 

Make friends and meet up with them on a regular basis. Have tea, cook together, go for walks, play video games. Just be there consistently. 

Open your house once a month for community get-togethers. Maybe these are queers/women/BIPOC-only safe spaces, maybe they’re street-wide potlucks. Maybe you make art while crying together. Maybe you binge-watch Lord of the Rings, eat popcorn and share joy.

Think about starting Swaps with your community. Swaps of clothing you don’t need anymore. Swaps of home-made food, seeds, plants or artwork. Swaps of household goods. Get yourself trading and sharing with each other. 

Get a roommate or two. It’ll help each of you save money, reduce loneliness, and might save someone from becoming unhoused.Don't feel obligated to retain that roommate if it's negatively impacting you. This is about a healthy present in a chaotic world, not a desperate act that results in abuse and destruction.

Libraries are funded in large part based on the number of cards they hand out, not books. Get a library card, even if you never use it. Many libraries let you apply online. If your library isn’t physically accessible, or you can’t safely leave your home but you have a cellphone, download the Libby app for books and audiobooks. It’s free, you just need your library card number. If you live or have an address in New York State, you can also get cards to the Brooklyn Public Library and NYC Public Libraries.

Places to volunteer: libraries, hospitals, schools, mental health hotlines, small farms and community gardens, animal shelters, food pantries, mutual aid organizations, medical clinics, harm reduction centers, fire stations, emergency rescue services. 

Learn how to support someone in crisis. Be the voice on the other end of the hotline. 

Advocate for handicapped accessibility in all public spaces. Does your library have a

ramp? Your local co-op? Your house? Learn what your disabled community members needs are that are not being met, because it will get worse for them. 

Do you have skills that can contribute in new ways? For instance, if you're a great bike mechanic, I'll bet you can fix wheelchairs. If you're an electrician, you could help with your neighbor's solar system. If you're handy with a sewing machine, you can make flags and banners. 

Keep it local - donate to the after-school music program in your town instead of, say, Planned Parenthood. National organizations will be getting a flood of funding from concerned citizens right now, but local organizations are often more effective and know their community’s needs more intimately. Consolidate financial donations to organizations that provide transparency around their political affiliations and expenditure.

If you want to participate but in person is too much, or not accessible, go to Zoom meetings. Call or email folks. Perform online tasks, design stickers, connect like-minded folk.

If you're not sure what you can offer, just ask what people need. Sometimes someone needs their dogs walked, or an emergency baby-sitter. Sometimes a non-profit needs someone to table at an event. Perhaps someone wants a logo designed, or just someone to keep them company. It doesn't have to seem big to you; it could still mean the world to someone else.

Online communities are just as important, and often more accessible. Make the space and time for those meet-ups, whether you’re messaging folks, playing video games together, or finding forums and inspiration. 

Become a safe person for those who need to go back in the closet, or who need to trust someone with their sexuality or gender. 

Join or begin a union and encourage others to do the same. Be careful, union busting efforts are no joke. 

Learn the language of a targeted group. Volunteer with organizations fighting for immigrants. 

If you’re a lawyer or a doctor, offer pro-bono to those at the most risk. 

If you feel safe doing it: advertise. Put up every damn flag at your house except the American flag. Pride, Black Lives Matter, feminism, Earth first, land back - become a visible beacon of safety and hope. Make or buy bumper magnets - magnets, not stickers. If you are still safe, now is NOT the time to go underground. Now is the time to find your people, and be someone for others. So flags, volunteering, barter, lending, carpooling, offering tea, offering your guest room. Make the connections.

The more we connect with and care for our neighbors, the more our neighbors will connect with and care for us. Let’s strengthen and widen our circles. 

*I recognize that for many, much of what I offer can be a genuine safety concern. Sometimes housemates are abusive. Sometimes neighbors threaten you with guns. Use your own discretion and trust your instincts. 

POLITICS AND LEGISLATION

Run for local office, or sit on the school board. Be the opposing voice in a conservative group.

Expose the corrupt activities of those in power in your area and get them kicked out of office. 

What legislation is being passed in your area or state? How can you either push for or against said legislation or funding?

Check out GovTrack at govtrack.us for updates on what laws are actually changing and how. Don’t panic - research!

Jam the emails and call lines. Push back against any and all hotlines and tiplines the government sets up. Spam them with Spongebob and false reports. Set up an anonymous email with a timer that just automatically sends nonsense. Here’s the DEIA report email: DEIATruth@opm.gov. 

The Lemkin Institute for Genocide Prevention is an international site that sends alerts when countries are at risk of genocide. The US is on it now. Keep updated. 

SCIENCE AND THE ENVIRONMENT

Small plots of ecological sanctuary make a huge difference. You can plant flowers, collect rainwater, start a compost bin, let your lawn grow, build a hedgerow. Stop spraying pesticides, pick up litter, plant a garden, research native species, celebrate milkweed…

Volunteer or donate to a local conservation organization. 

Visit a park or go for a hike. Visit a local protected zone and learn about the ecosystem with whom you live. Discover your watershed. 

Contact scientists whose work is being suppressed and ask for printed copies of their studies. Share them. 

Learn about local pollutants and advocate for protections. Check out your city’s water health publications. Learn how to home-test water, air and soil for pollution.

Question the installation of new businesses, factories and industries. How will they impact the air, water, soil and human health? Protest them with your friends - on a local level, it actually only takes a few hundred people to make waves. I’ve seen huge projects stopped because my friends sat in on every town hall meeting. 

Become a citizen scientist - birdwatch, identify local plants and animals, track the weather and then report your findings to naturalist organizations. The Merlin App is a free app that matches birdcalls to the birds in your backyard, iNaturalist takes really accurate photos and identifies them. It can become a whole hobby that also helps maintain consistent scientific data. 

Get your generator in working order. Storms are gonna get worse and you'll need it when the lights go out. Batteries, light bulbs, candles. Get them now. Prepare as if for a blizzard or tornado.

Consider an air filter or a gas mask for after the Clean Air Act is repealed.

Find out whether or not you’re in a wildfire, flood or hurricane zone, or if you will be in one as climate change continues. Reinforce your house, create a prep-plan, a go-plan and a go bag. 

MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH 

Remember that you are WORTHY of receiving gifts and help. Allow yourself to receive help with grace. ASK when you need help, even if you’re not quite sure what you need. 

Eat a lot of food and drink plenty of water; your stressed mindset will make you burn calories. Eat as healthily as you can, but don’t forget to have cake and ice cream, too. 

Drink calming teas, or stock up on comfort food.  

Treat yourself. Maybe that means binging television, or finding a cute pair of earrings, or taking a bike ride to your favorite place, or resting in the bath with some fancy soaps. 

Don't isolate. Meet friends for coffee, or Ultimate Frisbee, or to learn to make a cake together. 

Create joy. 

         Don’t Hesitate by Mary Oliver

If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy, don’t hesitate. Give in to it. There are plenty of lives and whole towns destroyed or about to be. We are not wise, and not very often kind. And much can never be redeemed. Still, life has some possibility left. Perhaps this is its way of fighting back, that sometimes something happens better than all the riches or power in the world. It could be anything, but very likely you notice it in the instant when love begins. Anyway, that’s often the case. Anyway, whatever it is, don’t be afraid of its plenty. Joy is not made to be a crumb.

Greet the sun. Listen to the stars. Breathe with the trees. Lay in the grass. Cuddle a cat. Talk with the moon. Find a new book. Take up knitting. Make music. Journal. Make art. 

Have set days each week for long-distance friends, and check in with each other at least once a week. Send them care packages. Ask for care packages. 

Accept that you will not do everything every day, that some days you will stay in bed until one, eat ice cream in your pajamas and just nap with the dog. That is real and beautiful. That chance to relax? That's something they're trying to take away from us. Rest and relaxation and hammocks and good books are all at risk, so enjoying them is also revolutionary. It's important to keep normalcy alive.

Think about your boundaries. Are you, for instance, comfortable housing someone in need? Comfortable helping someone through grief? It's okay if not. But find those boundaries so that you don't overtax yourself.

PHYSICAL HEALTH AND REPRODUCTION 

Get a medical alert bracelet or have a medical alert card in your wallet. This way, no matter where you are, if you’re unconscious and sent to the ER, EMTs and staff know of your allergies and needs.  For instance, I’m allergic to penicillin, have low vitamin D and take St John’s Wort, a powerful herbal SSRI that could interfere with drugs. 

Get comfortable with lying to your doctor if you don’t absolutely trust they’ll protect you. Don’t come out if you don’t need to. Use phrases like,"My birth sex is male/female" "I have low testosterone/low estrogen/hypogonadism/PCOS/high testosterone/gynecomastia/etc" "I have never changed my legal name or sex". Work with your current doctors to bury any information in your record that would out you - gender dysphoria can be hidden within an autism diagnosis, etc. If HRT and surgeries are restricted for trans people in your state, you must ALREADY have mechanisms in place to protect your access to care. DO THESE THINGS NOW. If you have been debating going on hormones, start now. Your best bet is to get the prescription and bury the info you so it's harder to prevent you from having it. Make it look like you're a cis person with a hormone imbalance; there are plenty of them out there. Stock up if you are able. Look into DIY HRT. Doctors who provide gender affirming care know and understand this problem. If you share your concerns with them they will work with you to protect your access to what you need. The more trans patients from whom they hear concerns, the more they’ll understand the urgency of the problem and the more they will fight for us. 

Same goes for anyone who can become or is possibly pregnant - your orthopedist asks when the date of your last menstrual cycle was? Just say that it’s regular and that you see no need to provide that information. 

There are still websites and resources with accurate health information. Find them. Keep hard copies of that information. 

Find your state’s free Narcan programs, and request Narcan and drug testing strips so that you have them on hand if an emergency arises. 

Get a stockpile of COVID tests, decent masks, and if you plan to get the vaccines, do it now. 

Do not use a period tracking app; do nothing to alert the government to your reproductive medical needs. Unless it’s medically relevant, do not tell your doctor the date of your last menstrual cycle. Pay for all medical needs possible with cash, whether it’s Plan B off the shelf or a co-pay on a prescription. 

If you have any prescriptions, get them refilled as soon as possible. Get extras if you can.  

Get all your birth control needs met now. Implants and IUDs last for years, but if the IUD shifts, you will need medical assistance, so keep that in mind. 

Stock up on condoms and dental dams, get your STD screenings and all similar or related procedures, like colposcopies, mammograms and biopsies done now. 

Consider whether or not you need PrEP for HIV prevention. If you’re at risk but don’t have insurance, there are over-the-counter HIV test kits. They ARE pricey, though.

Stock up on pads and tampons or switch to cloth pads, period underwear or cups. They last at least six years. Cups take less water to clean, though. 

If you're planning to get yourself, your kids or your pets vaccines, do it before January. 

Those who don't want to have kids for the next four years and for whom it’s medically viable should consider a vasectomy. They're reversible, and no one gets stuck with an expected pregnancy. Tube tying is generally irreversible and reversal only has about a 50 percent success rate, depending on how the original procedure was done.

Stock up on basic first aid supplies and educate yourself in basic med training, like CPR, the Heimlich and how to treat pepper spray in the eyes (lots of water). Maybe you’ll find yourself at a protest and your friends get hurt, and you want to be able to help. Perhaps it’s an emergency and there are no safe options to call for help. 

Carry antihistamines with you, even if you don’t have allergies - the woman outside your local coffee shop may not be able to afford an Epi-Pen and you could be the one that keeps her alive long enough for the ambulance to get there. 

Get an umbrella, face mask, bullet-proof vest, and goggles, especially if you are considering joining a protest. Pepper spray,  rubber bullets, shrapnel and real bullets are no joke and will be used against you. 

ART, MEDIA AND COMMUNICATIONS

Use secure, encrypted messaging like signal for conversations on potentially risky topics, such as queerness, abortion, organizing counter-actions, protests—anything that might be used against you.

Find a list of banned books and obtain them somehow so that there are physical copies for when the online sites are shut down. Print them out if you have to. 

Collect academic journals and articles on everything under the sun. Safeguard science, the humanities, the arts, the truths about our global history and experiences. 

Print zines and pamphlets and ask your library & coffee shops to stock them, and/or post them to people. 

Start a blog, a journal, a calendar that tracks what’s happening. History needs to be recorded, and your voice matters. 

Download all of your favorite online media that feature queerness, whether it’s videos, fanfiction or artwork. If content featuring LGBTQ+ becomes listed as porn, and porn is banned, then sites like AO3 may have to wipe all of it from their listings. Contact the creators and see what support you can offer each other. 

Don't be shy about your presence, and use art to make your presence known. Slap rainbow stickers on every telephone pole, spray paint a building wall with Black Lives Matter murals, knit a cozy sweater that doubles as a pronoun pin. Write a play that centers around the Land Back fights. Host an impromptu concert in the park, and invite the audience to donate to their local library fund. 

Make or buy bumper magnets - magnets, not stickers (yes, I said that already. I’m elaborating). Magnets on your car or bike or metal mailbox can be removed for your own safety. The guy who inspects my car is a major transphobe, so my car sports mostly magnets that I take off before I get her inspected. 

Get a USB or an external hard drive, so you can save and transport your downloads.

Bring back the CDs, the DVDs - save money by dropping your subscriptions, and listen to music without being bombarded by MAGA ads. 

Stop using physical & software products that you know are funded or owned by bodies, organisations and entities that are fascist sympathising (e.g. TikTok, Facebook, Insta, Twitter). 

Stay anonymous online. If you want to research or report something without surveillance, do not use regular internet. Get a vpn (mullvad is affordable and reliable), download the tor browser (for both onion and standard links), and if you plan to whistleblow, consider using a riseup email account.

ECONOMICS AND RESOURCES

Invest in wood heating - real wood, not a pellet stove. When fuel prices go up, you will need to have a reliable source of heat. Best to get a wood cook stove. Investigate masonry or rocket stoves because they are very efficient and often can be built by a local company and don't rely on steel, which will also go up as more tariffs are implemented

Put some cash aside outside the bank. Put money in a high interest savings account, but NOT a CD.

Take your car to the mechanic now. Buy snow tires and get your vehicle in working order, because parts will skyrocket in price. 

In your trunk, put together a box of: motor oil, windshield fluid, a small empty gas tank, two gallons of fresh water, brake fluid, tire changing kit, tire pump - anything your car needs. Get two of everything. Have another crate with a blanket, gloves, $200 cash, dishware, a dog leash, some jars or Tupperware. That's for you, if you're in an emergency, want to bring home food, or need to rescue a stray dog. Put a snow shovel in, both for digging yourself out and for moving turtles.

Having a working bike with a tow-behind trailer is an asset, especially as gas and car parts rise in price.

Connect with scientists. Get the facts. Print out scientific studies before they disappear. 

Apply for food stamps, heating assistance, energy discounts, phone discounts, and health insurance now, so you have it for as long as possible before they cut programs.

Anyone close to being able to retire and collect on retirement should consider how that might impact their finances. It might be best to retire early, if you can collect.

Get all your fuel tanks filled now. Propane, oil, kerosene. Even gas stoves, and make sure they're in working order. 

Snail mail will be safer than online communications. Stock up on stamps; sometimes you can get discounts on the USPS website. If you’re sending a lot of packages, try PirateShip.com for discounts. 

Get to know the anarchist black cross federation and other resources on safety culture: "Starting an anarchist black cross group: A guide"; Still We Rise - A resource pack for transgender and non-gender conforming people in prison; Safe OUTside the system by the Audre Lorde Project. Deep dive The Anarchist Library for literature on how we got here and how to move forward. 

FOOD AND WATER

Grow and preserve your own. Learn to cook and share with friends. Start or join a garden club or urban garden. Talk to farmers, read books, watch videos. 

Start looking around your area to see where you can wild harvest. Come Autumn, will you be able to harvest apples from the trees in the city park, or the old farmyard? Rose hips from the bushes along the sidewalk? In the spring, dandelion leaves from your backyard?

Save seeds. Preserving specific varieties is good, but all seeds are valuable. 

Get a water filter, even if it’s just a water bottle filter. Save it for AFTER the Clean Water Act is slashed, unless your water is already too contaminated to wait. 

Find out how to buy local foods, because tariffs will raise the price of all international goods.

Stock up on food that has to cross a border, like black pepper, chocolate and coffee. Those are my top three, anyway. 

Find a space in your house to use as a root cellar, where it’s cool and damp and dark. Root crops, winter crops and fruits will store longer. You don't have to doomstock, but it's important to have a stored base until your community is strong enough to create its own food. So if during the Winter, you can't grow food, you have a few months supply until it's warm enough to grow again.

           Learn how to grow sprouts or shoots on your windowsill. 

           Small farms will become havens and targets. Grow with them, preserve, volunteer there, learn. 

           Find a local source of meat, because the FDA will not be regulating food borne illnesses anymore. And eggs, if possible. Buy half a cow or something.

Food recalls may still happen, but you may not hear about them through the news. The FDA link to use to search for recalls, safety alerts and market withdrawals is: https://www.fda.gov/safety/recalls-market-withdrawals-safety-alerts

Farmers markets will often accept FoodStamps as payment, and prices may be lower than the stores. 

Start sharing meals with neighbors - maybe you host dinner on Mondays and they host dinner on Thursdays. Lets you practice cooking and gives you a social life. 

Establish community freezers and fridges. 

Donate to or volunteer at food pantries, free will dinners and Food Not Bombs programs.

Pay for the lunches of school children who can’t access a free lunch program. 

Learn how to safely dumpster-dive. Do this with a buddy.

PERSONAL AND PUBLIC SAFETY 

Make copies of all identification papers and records you have (remember you can use a library for that!). Keep the originals somewhere safe. It’s argued you shouldn’t carry even the copies on you, I prefer to have mine on hand….but I’m white and don’t have the experience with Border Patrol that others have. I defer to more knowledgeable folks. 

Check out the REFUGE Restrooms site and app; it gives a list of gender-neutral and/or accessible and safe public bathrooms, bathrooms in business, etc. Open-source and helpful as you’re traveling.

           Unless they’re actively attacking, don’t trust anything the government says. But the minute they say they’re coming for migrants/trans folx/BIPOC - you go find those people, get them to safety, and pretend you never, ever, ever saw them. 

           Do not tell figures of authority of your plans, your ideologies, your efforts to help those under attack. 

         Take a self-defense course; the chances you have a weapon if you’re attacked are slim, so you need to learn how to use your body. 

Carry a lighter. It’s small, lightweight and legal with no permit. If you’re grabbed, then putting a flame - even a small one - to someone’s skin can make them let go long enough for you to run. 

          Switch your Internet browser to DuckDuckGo. It blocks surveillance and ads. AdNauseam is  a browser extension that scrambles your data so it's less traceable, so the government can't see what you're doing. Get them both. They're free.

Install and use communication apps and social media that folks under oppressive regimes recommend. 

            Install blackout or dark curtains so that visual surveillance into your house is limited. 

Be aware that Venmo and related apps tell the IRS what you're spending money on. Be careful what you use it for and how you record transactions. 

If making a “suspicious purchase,” like of Plan B, use cash. Wear a baseball cap, sunglasses, mask, and contour makeup to hide your face from the security cameras.

Think about security proofing your windows, which makes them less breakable, or backglazing them with bulletproof glass.

The police, now more than ever, are an entity of the state. DO NOT CALL THEM, do not trust them. If you are raped or attacked, go straight to the hospital first. Do NOT shower. Go to the ER, tell them what happened and request a full rape kit. Go next to an independent organization that will help protect you and your rights, and help you decide next steps.

If there's something happening that you might otherwise have called the cops for, but there are people of color or trans individuals involved, DO NOT CALL THE COPS. They WILL kill trans and BIPOC folk. 

If you’re considering a divorce, and you’re serious about it, do it now. No-fault divorces are on the chopping block. 

If you're in the US, you can call 211 to help you find resources.

Crisis Text Line offers services to the US, Ireland, Canada, and the UK.

RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) is a US service offers a lot of information for sexual abuse survivors.

The Trevor Lifeline is a service for queer youth in the US.

If you're a minor, you may wish to read How To Escape Abusive Parents: A Guide For Minors.

If you're an adult, you may wish to read How To Escape Abusive Parents: A Guide For Adults.

You might search on Qwant for like something like "resources for people in abuse" or "abuse resources help" or "domestic violence survivors resources".

ICE AND IMMIGRATION 

Use your body. You and others can physically shield someone from ICE, can block a door, can stand in front of a deportation bus. Work with a tenant’s union to do eviction defense, which blocks sheriffs or guards from evicting families. 

Organize an Underground Railroad in your area and connect with others.

Before a raid:

Know your rights, your community, and your plan. Create a go-bag. 

Gather all important documents, records and identifications and make copies of them. Carry copies on you and keep the originals safe. Be sure at least two trusted people know where to find the copies.

Keep emergencies contacts in multiple places, like your wallet, fridge and phone.

      Offer to be someone else’s emergency contact; be sure they have all your information.

Consult with, or at least have the contact for an immigration attorney.

If ICE comes to your door:

ICE MUST have a warrant to search or enter any property. They will lie and manipulate you to allow them on the premises, but if they aren’t holding a valid document in their hands they cannot legally do anything. They may say something like "Our warrant is in the truck.” Have them bring it to you, DO NOT FOLLOW THEM ANYWHERE. Do not leave your property if confronted.  Don’t open the door if they can’t show you a valid warrant signed by a judge.

   Remain silent. You have the right to not speak. 

 Begin recording before you open the door; make sure it streams straight to the cloud. If you can’t record, call someone on speaker before you open the door and have them silently witness what is happening.

Don’t sign anything, especially not without first consulting an attorney.·      ·    

Call your attorney or seek legal help at (312) 660 1370.

Escape if the opportunity presents itself.

If ICE comes to your work:

Remain calm. 

Don’t provide false documents. 

Tell them you’d like to speak to an attorney.

Don’t sign anything without speaking to an attorney.

Keep all important contacts with you. 

If ICE detains you while you are at work and you have dependents at home, make sure you make that clear. 

Escape if the opportunity presents itself.

General:

If you are taken, say nothing until a lawyer is present. The exception is if there are bystanders present or filming, or if you are being recorded in some way. Then you should shout your name (legal and otherwise), the date, where you are and what is happening. Get your emergency contact info in there if you can, because bystanders might be able to get in touch with them.

If you are witnessing a raid in your community, wait to warn others via phone as the cops may be monitoring nearby communications and may use that to select their next targets. Warn by code or word of mouth

Escape if the opportunity presents itself.

If you’re unlikely to be targeted by ICE, learn how to protect others. Record, do your research, keep updated.  If you can’t record, call someone on speaker and have them silently witness what is happening.

If you know an immigrant or migrant - no, you don’t.

Are you comfortable providing sanctuary to someone? If so, start preparing your space for those in need of safety. 

Donate to and volunteer for organizations fighting for migrants, immigrants and those at risk of being deported. 

PROTESTING AND FIGHTING BACK

          Make clear decisions and plans about what protests you'll be a part of and how. Tell only your most trusted friends where you are going, but be sure to tell them

Write your information, emergency contacts and a pro-bono lawyer’s number on your body with a permanent marker, then spray with hairspray to keep it from running. 

         Become someone's protest buddy, especially if they, for any reason, might be more vulnerable. Stick to one another and get each other out of dangerous situations. Come up with a safe word, and a safe way to communicate across a protest. A song, a wolf howl, a walkie talkie.

Obtain safety/riot gear, like masks, goggles and padding. Always carry fresh water for washing out wounds and pepper-sprayed eyes.

Practice that self defense you learned. What are the easiest moves? 

Keep emergency contacts on standby if you're going to protest. Make sure there's someone who could help bail you out of jail or can help raise money for bail. 

 Know your rights, and don’t give them anything when they arrest you. Make a list of lawyers and advocacy groups you feel safe trusting. 

 Train in proper video and recording methods to track what happens and what the police do. 

 If you're participating in a long term protest, plan properly for your health and the health of your home, partners and pets. 

Get your affairs in order. You may not make it out of a protest alive. 

Make a living will, or at least have a piece of paper tacked to your fridge with your wishes. 

Contact all your representatives. Senators, congressional reps, lobbyists, governors, etc. Be an irritant. Hold them to it.

When planning discussions with folks who might disagree with you, know that you may NOT actually be the best person for said discussion. If you’re really far left and you want to chat with you MAGA uncle about immigration, maybe find someone who’s more center-leaning to be a go-between. It’s less alienating to your uncle and less traumatizing for you.  

I know I’ve said this already, but carry first-aid supplies, learn basic first-aid, and carry a lighter, so that you can help those in need and protect yourself. 

Fight back with everyday statements. When someone says, “Those illegals are taking all our jobs,” say something like, “Wow, that sounds like some shit a weird Nazi would say.” Add “weird Nazi” to your responses. Laugh at the absurdities of MAGA statements. Make them feel foolish, or give good one-liners that leave them scratching their heads. Can’t think of any? Start bingeing comedians to learn how to give quick comebacks. 

Learn monkeywrenching, and learn how to do it on the sly. For example, using a pair of wire cutters to cut the air valves on two tires of an ICE, Border Patrol or police vehicle will stop the car. Superglue in manual keyholes will keep a door from being unlocked.

Carry monkeywrenching supplies - tools can include scissors, wrenches, wire cutters, sugar, flour, salt, metal-corroding acid and superglue. Dress appropriately - wear boring, easily overlooked clothing, simple gloves to prevent fingerprinting, something to cover your face. 

In order to keep yourself from falling into a bad group, it's important to develop your critical thinking skills:  

Learn to apply the Five W's (who, what, when, where, and why) when encountering any information.

Learn common logical fallacies.

Learn the difference between fact, opinion, belief, and prejudice.

Don't equate emotional reactions with some kind of innate or higher moral guidance.

Ask yourself if you're "thinking for yourself" or being led to believe you're thinking for yourself.

Know what emotional manipulation tactics look like.

Watch out for these behaviors in any new group you join.

Yes, there are ways to confirm the age of an old text without having the original text itself.

Learn how propaganda works.

Watch out for these red flags in spiritual groups.

And watch out for this red flag.

Understand that belief doesn't have to be binary.

LEAVING THE STATES AND SURVIVING STATESIDE

Learn a new language, the language of wherever you’re heading. 

Make copies of all identification paperwork and keep everything safe. Buy a flame-proof lockbox if you have to. 

Get a passport. Canada is becoming really conservative, but Mexico has some of the safest queer cities in the world. You can stay there for no reason for more than three months, leave for three days and come back and keep doing that indefinitely. It's cheap and warm and the food is spectacular. Plus the entire country enshrined abortion rights. 

You will need a go bag. It should include non perishable snacks, water, paperwork, copies of your id, cash, meds, and whatever you love for comfort. Know where it is at all times. Keep it near an exit. My go bag will at least contain my ancestral seeds, my teddy bear, and extra socks.

DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE WHAT THEY WILL DO. Remember the bomb threats, the arson and the insurrection. THEY WILL NOT HESITATE TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN AND TARGET YOUR LOVED ONES AND PETS. Believe them. PLEASE believe them when they say they are Hitler. Trump is just a figurhead. He has the force of an entire party behind him. It will change everything.

Make two or three escape plans. During WWII, people escaped by walking, by hiding under garbage in trucks, by building hot air balloons that they flew, by living in attics for years. 

It can be done, but you have to think ahead. We don't have the time to say, "Oh, it won't get that bad.” People are already dying. It is that bad. 

If you know someone who is MAGA or even close to it, NEVER tell them your escape plan. Never tell anyone anything if you don't trust them enough to hold a loaded gun to your head.

If you’re leaving, consider how to bring your pets. Do they need vaccines to cross a border? Do you even have a cat carrier, and adequate food for travel? What about costs for boarding while you resettled in your new home?

Who will house you if you need a safe space? Make a list of places you have friends,

or couches you can sleep on.

LOOK, IT’S TOUGH. IT’S GONNA BE TOUGH. BUT IT CAN BE JOYFUL, AND MYSTERIOUS, AND FUN, TOO. MOST IMPORTANTLY? WE DON’T YET KNOW HOW THIS ENDS.

FRIENDS, WE DON’T KNOW. 

SO LET ME LEAVE YOU WITH THESE THOUGHTS:

Overall, the more you rely on community and less on capitalism, the more security you could have during difficult times. The more secure you are, the more you can and will feel comfortable helping others. 

The Holocaust happened because a lot of good people did nothing, in large part because they decided it couldn't possibly get that bad. But the right-wingers know how to play the long game. 

The way I see it, there are now three primary parts to this rebellion: 

Those physically stopping the issues by destroying dams and animal testing labs, harassing and attacking politicians or corporations, and chaining themselves to bulldozers.

Those ferrying others to safety and providing the necessary resources for those leaving or hiding.

Those feeding, comforting and healing others through food growing, meal prep, offering tea and therapy, and putting down roots to grow community. 

So where do you stand? Do you fight or flee? Do you share cookies or get out the protest signs? Can you do all three? (Probably not, so choose wisely.)

And in the end:

IN 150 CHARACTERS OR LESS

Everything is on fire, but everyone I love is doing beautiful things

and trying to make life worth living.

and I know I don’t have to believe in everything,

but I believe in that. 

~ Nikita Gill 

Take care of each other and take care of yourself. You are not alone. Godspeed.  

[bugs1nmybrain]

L. Lawliet licking honey off female readers tummy and breasts then eating whipped cream off of their pussy- please 🙏

tasty ~ l lawliet x self insert: foodplay

It has taken me a while to get to this, but I've been excited to write about it. L and food play is something I've thought about before, but honestly, I was a little embarrassed to.

Notes about the reader: she/her pronouns, female anatomy, she is blatantly based off of me and is named "Lydia". Her physical features aren't described a lot, though, aside from female sex characteristics

I decided to make the reader me this time because, honestly, writing an ambiguous love interest all the time makes it hard for me to be creative. I hope that's not a bother, but if it is, I apologize and no one is obligated to read this.

Warnings: NSFW (18+ MDNI), self insert, dom L at first but he becomes sub later in the fic, food play (honey and whipped cream), breast sucking, oral (fem and male receiving), nervous reader and L, TEASING, panties fetish, bad POV grammar, established relationship, fatass Beetlejuice reference, no penetration, not proofread yet

"So, what do you think?"

Lydia sat in front of L, dumbstruck by his request. It really wasn't surprising, it was actually pretty L of him. It was rare to find him not downing sweets like no one's business, so this was bound to come. She felt embarrassed, yet not surprised by any means.

Once she could get past how flustered L's question made her, she nodded with a bashful smile.

"I'd be okay with trying that out," Lydia flashed a gentle smile of approval.

"Truly? You seem hesitant."

"I'm not..or-I mean, I guess I am hesitant. It's just because I'm embarrassed."

"If you're feeling self-conscious, I'll assure you that you'd look nothing than gorgeous covered in sweets." While what he said was very flattering, L's deadpan voice made it hard for Lydia not to laugh a little in response.

"It's not all that. I'm just not used to being so exposed."

Taking her anxiety into consideration is something he had already prioritized in this case. However, L had recently paid close attention to her...fantasies. Or at least the ones he was able to find out about. Lydia was a woman with a high sex drive, whether she came to him about it or not was a different story. He had a new side quest to test what aroused her, going as far as to try things they both felt sheepish towards.

The two's sexual relationship was great, however very fresh. Trying more "kinky" sexual activities was new to both of them. Sure, Lydia (and possibly L) had watched a variety of pornography to get a sense of what was erotic to them.

They were currently at a point where the couple would have sex frequently, but it was somewhat predictable. L and Lydia felt great sexual attraction to one another, so chemistry and arousal weren't an issue. But the suspense was starting to lose its pace, something both of them yearned for in times of sexual pleasure.

"We could go completely at your pace and comfortability, love. I don't want to embarrass you (kind of a lie). I just think that this could possibly enhance trust between us. It's also...something that I've, uhm..fantasized about. A couple of times (absolute truth)."

There were already a few ideas in Lydia's head about fetishes L may have had but hadn't been confirmed yet. Seeing him admit to one, though, made her blush and tingle.

"Is that so? Hehe, I thought that you may have."

"Observant as always. That's why you're my dearest."

Lydia didn't respond but instead became flustered to herself and avoided eye contact. Her cheeks were already looking warm, heightening L's arousal when he noticed.

"Would you want to try now?" L asked, scanning her face for any discomfort from his question, or even arousal.

To his satisfaction, her cheeks lit up more, accompanied by an eager smile. She nodded vigorously, with a beam of excitement in her eyes.

"Alright, then. I'm going to go grab a couple of things for us, but I'll be back very soon."

L stood up, about to turn to walk out of the room, but redirected himself back to Lydia. He quickly placed a gentle kiss on her cheek, but turned back around and left the room without any acknowledgment afterwards.

.....

Lydia sat pretty on the bed, unsure if she should be undressing or not. She decided to play it safe and just stay put for now. Not very long after, L opened the door. He only had two things with him, surprisingly. She almost expected him to bring the whole nine yards with him. All he had with him was a jar of extra-sweetened honey and a can of whipped cream.

L made his way over to the bed, placing the containers down as he sat in front of her, sitting in his traditional position.

"You look very pretty today," L compliments. Lydia looked up at him, to see what she thought was a flustered look (it was hard to tell with L). He reached his hand to gently brush her hair with his fingers.

She blushed which made L smile, making no effort to hide his expression. Making Lydia flustered was one of his favorite things. The fact that he, someone so weird and off-putting, could make her feel this way struck a bit of pride in him. Though, perhaps it only made sense, given she was rather strange and unusual herself. Her unhinged demeanor was one of the reasons L found her so adorable.

"Thank you."

"May I kiss you?"

"Yes.."

As always, his lips were incredibly soft and inviting. He was also excellent with his tongue.

The kiss became heated not so shortly after, and L's hands had begun to roam. His delicate, long fingers found their way up Lydia's stomach, pulling her shirt along with them. He kissed her neck up to her jawline as he pulled the shirt off. Soon after came her pants.

"Mmm..." L adores. His fingers immediately rub themselves gently on her clothed clitoris. They caressed her gently, causing Lydia to whimper in pleasure.

"I love you," he continues. His affirmation was much appreciated by the butterflies in Lydia's stomach, fueling her arousal.

"I love you too."

L reached for the honey. He had brought a spoon with him to help put it on her easier. He dipped his spoon in the jar after opening it, causing Lydia to tense up anxiously. L recognizes her timid body language and stops.

"Are you alright? Are you comfortable?"

You smile at his consideration and nod your head.

"Nervous, but I'm comfortable and trust you."

"I appreciate that. "

He made sure to lean down and give her a gentle kiss for reassurance. Right after that, he dipped his spoon in the jar, swirled the spoon around to help with the consistency, and held it above her. When the honey fell on her stomach, she cringed at the cold sensation. L realized that perhaps he should've warmed up the honey.

"Sorry.."

"It's ok, love," Lydia assured him.

The honey began drizzling on her breasts. The sticky substance fell over her skin, causing Lydia's clit to twitch. L smirks in response, though he tries to hide his face.

L puts the spoon back in the jar and screws the lid back on. He looks back at Lydia as she is exposed on the bed, only covered by her panties. She was absolutely gorgeous to him, and the sight made him clam up. He swallowed as discreetly as he could and redirected his attention to what the goal was.

"May I?" He asks, catching her eyes in his, holding out the contact for approval.

"Yes."

He oogles her for a moment before kneeling on top of her. Seeing her full breasts covered in honey was making him very embarrassed, especially because all he wanted to do was put his mouth all over her right now.

"You look incredible..."

Lydia buried her face in her hands and giggled in embarrassment. L started by running his hands over places that weren't covered in honey, trailing his soft fingertips along her sides up to her shoulders. With hesitation, he leans forward to attach his mouth onto her breast. The honey tasted great, and her tit was supple and soft. Lydia felt a shameful arousal build up and her thighs started squeezing together in response. L gave both of them equal attention and then began making his way down her tummy.

The flavor of the honey made this much more comfortable for L. Thid made him a bit nervous admittedly, as the act was so vulnerable for the both of you. It made it easier to lick and suck at your skin with something sweet to distract himself with. He could feel himself growing hard already.

He finally made it to her panties. He looks up at Lydia with neutral but lustful eyes before asking her, "Are you ready for the next part?"

"Y-yes."

"You sure?"

"It's okay," she giggles in response, appreciative of his consideration. Though it wasn't like he hadn't already seen her nude many times before. "You can go ahead."

Lydia's hearts throbbed in her chest while L pulled her panties off. He looked at the mess inside of them with amusement. Her secretion of wetness was always fascinating to him, and her scent was a turn on her him if he was honest.

"Can I keep these for a day or so?"

Lydia laughed at his request, but not offended by any means. "Yes, love."

He gave them a brief whiff, trying to define every detail of her scent. He could tell she had showered recently by the lack of musk, aside from her wetness. His attention returned to her pussy, which was visibly drenched in arousal. The sight made L lightly bite down on his lip.

"You fold so easily for me," he remarks with a cocky tone.

"I do not!"

"Mhm, sure," his fingers return to her clit, stroking lightly for a little bit, actually forgetting for a moment that they were supposed to be incorporating food.

L took the can of whipped cream and shook it to make sure it came out consistently. Remembering the incident with the honey before, he directed his attention to Lydia.

"This might be cold."

"Okay," she smiled at him bashfully, keeping her gaze up at the ceiling as he sprayed the whipped cream on her cunt. He was very generous with the amount he put on her.

"Alright.." L moved Lydia's thighs further apart and dipped his head in between. He latched his mouth on her pussy, licking and sucking all over, actively avoiding her clitoris on purpose. L was known for being a tease like that.

He focused on the taste of the sweets, diving to wherever he could find more of the substance. His mouth sucked along her lips and the sides of her cunt.

"L.."

"Hm? What is it, love?"

"Mmmrrhh," her desperate whines were clearly trying to tell him to put his mouth in the right spot, but he feigned ignorance like always.

"I'm afraid I don't understand gibberish, Lydia." He looked up at her with a face covered in the white cream and sticky consistency.

"Please...?"

"Use your words."

"My clit.."

"What about it?"

She scrunched up her face in annoyance. Not that she didn't love his playful banter with her, but she was aching to be pleasured.

"Please, it's sensitive."

"I can imagine, love. Let me help with that, hm?"

"Mhm~"

To her bliss, he gave her exactly what she needed, wrapping his mouth on her clit. He couldn't see what it looked like due to the whipped cream, but he could tell by the feeling of it on his mouth that she was swollen and yearning.

He placed a little more cream on her cunt, and continued praising her pussy with his skilled tongue. He sucked on her nub as he enjoyed the sweet taste of the whipped cream and flicked his tongue accordingly. He was attentive to how it would pulse against his tongue and how Lydia's hips would jerk when she liked a particular motion. It got to the point where L had to hold her hips down to keep her still.

Her moans caused his cock to strain, making him muffle and grunt against her cunt.

"Fuck, you taste so good."

"It's really just the cr-"

"Shhh.." he continued lapping at her sensitive cunt to silence her, though she only wailed in pleasure. He buried his face closer into her cunt, reaching over her thighs to fondle her tummy while he did.

"Mm~ I'm.."

"Mhm. I know, sweetheart. Go on.."

He didn't stop his attack afterwards, repeating her favorite motion of his tongue as much as he could until her muscles began contracting and her legs and hips squirmed.

"Aaahh~!.☆.☆.♡♡♡~"

As she came all over his face, he sucked at her cunt more, extending her orgasm as much as he could. When her body finally gave out and went limp, he gave a couple more kisses to her cunt before coming up for some much needed air.

"How are you feeling, my love?" He asked as he rubbed gentle circles onto her inner thigh.

"G-good.." she was a little shakey from her orgasm but had a very blissful smile to accompany her. Seeing her surrender to him like this made him horny beyond belief.

"I'll go get some things to clean you up and then we can cuddle, alright?"

"Wait.."

"Hm?"

"Um..what about you?"

"What about me?"

Lydia laughed softly, amused that he didn't ask himself. "Couldn't I do the same to you?"

"Wha-oh! Uh--I.."

L hardly stammered like this, it was a treat to Lydia to get to see him obviously flustered like this.

"Do you want that?"

She looked at him intently, watching him trying to hold back a blushy smile.

"I'd-uh-y-yes. Yes. I'd love that, Lydia."

Lydia sat upwards, waiting for L to situate himself. Despite his awkward and blunt composure, L was gentlemanly in the sense that he typically didn't ask for things like a blowjob often, usually leaving that decision up to Lydia. He saw it as extremely vulnerable not only for him but for Lydia as well. He wasn't big necessarily, but his cock was longer in length and so he didn't want her to feel pressured about her performance. Though tonight, he was definitely grateful she had initiated this.

L sat awkwardly on the bed with his thighs spread as he sat like he always did. Lydia approached him, still nude and not fully cleaned up yet. She rested in between his legs and placed her hands in his chest, motivating to get him to lay down. She unzipped his pants and took them off. His cock sprung out, flushed at his tip and looking painfully hard.

Lydia reached for the whipped cream and doused his cock in it. It made him embarrassed underneath his deadpanned pink-faced stare, but as soon as she began sucking the consistency off his glans, he couldn't have cared less about his embarrassment.

The way she tended to his cock made it seem as if she was trying to tell him how much she loved him through every suck, lick, and stroke. She moaned and breathed through her nose, occasionally wincing as she attempted to take as much of him as she could. She made his heart flutter ever so slightly as she did so. He noticed how when she couldn't take him as far as she wanted, she'd try to compensate by sucking at spots she knew he was most sensitive at.

She pulled back his foreskin to make sure she got all of the whipped cream, dragging her tongue up to suck his tip after. He could feel himself get close to cumming, she usually was able to get him with very simple displays of adoration for him.

At this point, all the whipped cream was gone and his cock was sticky. She bobbed her head and coated L's cock with her saliva. His hand rested at his face, pulling at his lips while he let out whimpers.

"Mmm.."she hummed on his cock, almost making him cum then and there. L reached down to run his fingers through her scalp, which made her react by pushing her mouth further on his cock. He could hear Lydia choke and wanted to stop her from hurting herself, but she didn't seem to mind as she kept going. Her watery eyes and flushed face drove his cock crazy, as it started to twitch and his balls clenched.

"Lydia.."

"Mhm," she nodded with his cock in her mouth, a strange feeling for him but even so, his arousal only got worse and he ended up cumming down her throat abruptly.

"Hrnnn...." L sighed out, trying to regulate his breathing again. He pet Lydia's head while she released his cock from her mouth, swallowing his cum in the process.

"You didn't have to swallow, I know it's not tasty."

"It's ok. Yours isn't bad. I also have whipped cream residue in my mouth so it diluted the flavor."

"Thank you."

She smiled at him and came back up to huddle up next to him. She looked up at him like she had something to say.

"What is it?" L asked.

"Can I kiss you? I know my mouth was just uh.."

L scoffs. "Don't worry about that. Mine hasn't been anywhere better."

Lydia kissed L softly, and rested her face on his shoulder. He rested his hand on her hip and allowed her to embrace him.

"I think it would be appropriate to go take a shower and brush our teeth, don't you think so?" L questioned her teasingly.

"Yea. I'm sticky."

"Me too. I had a good time doing this, did you?"

"Hehe, yes. It felt very good."

"I thought so, too. I'm grateful you agreed to do this with me."

"I enjoyed it very much. I'd be okay with doing it again in the future."

"Oh we definitely will. Maybe we'll experiment with other scenarios too, hm?"

"Like what?"

"Oh darling, I have quite a few ideas in mind for us..."

[pseudophan]

some post wad weekend thoughts...

i just wrote all this on the plane and haven't read it through so apologies for any mistakes

first of all, this weekend was incredible. i usually just kinda sit at home doing not much of anything, and this was a much needed break to actually have some fun. london in general always lifts my spirits but i suppose that danisnotonfire guy contributed a little as well.

guys i think i've met more people the past few days than i otherwise have in years. like. holy shit. i started listing people but i'm petrified i'll forget someone so i chickened out, sorry about that. but you all know who you are. i've met friends i've had for years, people i used to know but haven't spoken to in what feels like a decade, newer friends, and a frankly baffling amount of people i didn't know yet but who told me they've followed me for ages. like holy fuck you guys lmao what the hell??? and i mean did the reaction ever get old no of course it didn't. bad for my ego i'm sure but totally worth it. there's something very amusing and incredibly surreal about being chronically lame in most aspects of life and then suddenly finding yourself in an environment where you're kinda cool???? SO fucking fun oh my god, but also i do kinda feel like i've tricked you all? but hey i'll happily let you keep believing i'm cool, that is more than fine with me.

most importantly though everyone was SO lovely. like i said i don't think i've spoken to this many people in such a short amount of time in years and every single person i talked to was awesome. guys did you know phannies are kind of great... don't tell anyone but, lowkey... everyone is so funny and cool and absolutely insane but in a good way (shoutout everyone left at the gates until the very end, we should probably get some help).

and then lastly of course, mr howell himself. i talk about this a lot i feel like but fuck me that man was born to perform. whether you think he's actually funny or not, nobody can argue he doesn't absolutely thrive on a stage. he plays off the audience so well and he's so very obviously having the time of his fucking life. i'd already seen the show twice before this, and i didn't think anything would top the previous london show but man... the first night he came back out after the show having clearly been tearing up backstage, apologising for being an inconsistent absent parent, and i can't lie the "i had daddy issues and THEN i subscribed to dan howell" got me cause yeah no literally dude, you nailed it, exactly, well done. i think something about doing this show again, his magnum opus as he considers it, now after the dapg return was very special to him. he seems genuinely surprised that so many of us were ready to just jump back in like nothing happened, i don't think he was expecting so many people to still be waiting and it's... man. he comes off so grateful for us all and it's so fucking sweet. and then on the last night, i think that was my favourite, when the show ended and he got the standing ovation and people throwing him flowers.. he was so HAPPY. and clearly overwhelmed with emotion which, i gotta say, there is something honestly kinda funny about daniel howell standing in front of you trying not to cry. like no by all means dude go ahead, please, you've made me cry an endless amount of times it's only fair.

ugh. i'm proud of him or whatever. dick. and i'm proud of our ridiculous fucking community. i'm not sure what 14 year old nora would say if you'd told me i'd still be kicking it in the phandom a decade on, but at almost 25 (fml) i'm so so happy to be here still. you know, we get a bad rep, but i genuinely think as far as fanbases go we're pretty solid. and i love you all so much.

i believe i will have to rob a bank or something because the next time dan and/or phil do a tour i think i'll have to just show up at every date like i'm sorry but this was too good of a high we need to do it again immediately

anyway. back to work 💪

(by which i mean giffing dan and phil. i am still very much unemployed. fr though i'm two whole videos behind this has never happened i feel weird. who am i)

[watchingblsnowandforever]

2024: BL Year in Review

(The fact that I'm doing this hours before the year changes is actually the least surprising things of 2024)

Total BLs watched in 2024: 21

BLs watched that aired this year: 12

(BLs currently airing: 2)

(BLs watched this year that started in 2023: 3)

BLs watched that aired before this year: 9

________

10 random superlatives to wrap up my year (these are from series that have aired this year or finished airing this year):

1. The BL that predicted most accurately (the date of legalization of same-sex marriage in Thailand)

Cherry Magic

It shot up to my Top 10 favourite BLs the moment I watched it. It's amazing and everyone should watch it, actually.

2. The most Bromance BL (is it a coincidence that my first two superlatives are both TayNew series? You can't prove anything.)

Peaceful Property

Another BL everyone should watch. It's technically not a BL, but it's a better BL than a lot of the ones I've watched before so.

3. The most average BL

My Love Mix Up Th

Very cute, but unlike Cherry Magic, I think I actually liked the original (Kieta Hatsukoi) better. It was nice, but very average.

4. My most loved omegaverse BL (...yes there were two. But to be fair, it depends on what you consider a 'BL')

Tadaima, Okaeri

It was so adorable. It had a sort of non-traditional ABO relationship (?), but I love how they used ABO to address other (more relevant-) socio-cultural issues.

5. The BL with the most wasted potential

The Trainee

It started off amazing, but the graph became a straight line (pun intended) somewhere in the middle and then went steadily downhill. It had so much potential, the ending physically hurt.

6. The most wacky BL (that I loved)

Century of Love

It's actually pretty great, but it's just so wacky (which makes it more adorable honestly). It kept surprising me too, which is always nice (...except when it's not).

7. The BL I (know I'm gonna) have the most love-hate relationship with

ThamePo

This is the first (hopefully only) BL that made me sob in the first episode. But it's so good. I almost cried twice in the second episode too, this is awful. (Then why do I love it?)

8. BL that gave me the most whiplash

The Heart Killers

If you haven't guessed already, I am insane about and insanely obsessed with FadelStyle. If we're watching the same series, I know you are too. :)

9. BL with the worst crash landing (26372892 dead, everyone else injured)

Last Twilight

If you watched this, you know. I have nothing else to add.

10. My favourite BL of the year

We Are

I'm very sure anyone who even clicked on my blog in April-July this year knows this. This silly little show just hit a chord in me and it never stopped ringing.

Honourable mentions:

1. BL with the most episodes ever in Thai BL history

Perfect 10 Liners

24 episodes. That's all I have to say.

2. My most loved new pairing

MarcPoon

The above gif is moments before The ChainPun KissTM. And let me tell you. They didn't only understand the assignment, they showed everyone else exactly how to do it too.

GL version:

1. The one that really tried

23.5

2. The best GL (I have watched)

Pluto

Please watch it.

If this post seems hurried, it kinda was 😭-

I'm just glad I could get this out in time T-T

Thank you so much if you got this far! ☺️🫶🏼

Here, have a new year's cake hehe 🎂

[tigreblvnc]

BLUE LOCK MATCHUP EXCHANGE @fierceastheocean

Your match is...

— Bachira Meguru

✦ I've thought about it a lot. Should I pair you with someone complementary, someone completely different, or someone similar?

✦ The little bee won out, and why? Because I think Bachira shares some of your strong personality traits but also has interesting differences that can create an explosive chemistry.

✦ In my opinion, he's one of the rare characters in the roster capable of maintaining healthy relationships with others.

✦ You're looking for someone with a bit of your temperament but who can also pull you out of your comfort zone, challenge you, and I think Bachira is an excellent match for that. Few characters in Blue Lock are as sincere and authentic as him. He's often the one who gets called names by others because people don't understand who he is or how he thinks. He's a misfit in the crowd.

✦ "I'm pretty loud, in every way you can think of. Looks, soul, personality, everything. I consider myself brave and honest; I don’t sugarcoat what I think or do to coddle others' egos." To me, those are traits that would at least make Bachira smile, especially when you first meet. There's something indubitably powerful that emanates from you, something that makes heads turn to you. I wouldn't be surprised to learn that you are very popular with your friends, and even perceived as intimidating by people who don't know you yet. You are radiant.

✦ "My biggest strength is my intelligence, both academic and emotional. My peers often see me as someone they can rely on for advice and help." Honestly, that made me think of a stronger-willed version of Isagi.

✦ "I won't hesitate to hug and hold you if you need me to, especially because physical touch is my love language." In all my matchups with Bachira, I like to say his love languages are physical touch and quality time. We've seen it with Isagi—there's no one more tactile and straightforward than Bachira when it comes to physical contact. It's almost like a form of communication and a demonstration of his feelings. He's also great at actively listening, offering insightful solutions, and imagining paths no one else considered. He didn't choose FC Barcha for nothing! He's a free-spirited creative. You remind me of that untamable energy while also being a calm and steady foundation for your relationship with him. Bachira admires your perseverance, and it inspires him.

✦ "I'm extremely aware when someone is about to screw me over or manipulate me." That's a strong point because I don't think Bachira is as good at reading others' intentions as you are. Definitely not to the level of someone like Isagi. He has that carefree, uninhibited attitude, which worked against him during his childhood.

✦ "I do have anger issues that I'm working on. I tend to be very protective of myself and the people I love." I like to think you met him at that exact moment.

✦ Because your career choice made me instantly think of Bachira—it might seem trivial, but his favorite animal is the dolphin. "My dream in life is to become a marine biologist." When I think of an element that fits Bachira, water is the first thing that comes to mind. In a way, if football hadn't been in his life, he probably would've pursued something artistic or water-related. I can see him settling by the coast with you one day.

✦ Bachira can seem naïve and too simple for some, acting freely without constraints. People might mistake that for stupidity, but the interesting detail is that he's far from dumb, and this hidden side of him probably intrigued you back when you thought he was just vulnerable.

✦ He's naturally perceptive. Not in an over-analyzed, thesis-level way, but in a sensitive, instinctive manner. I believe he understands your intentions, values, protective nature, and drive to prove your worth. He gets it.

✦ Paradoxically, I think he's helped calm you down after a big outburst more often than you've pulled him out of trouble. That contrast with Bachira is always there.

✦ And every evening, of course, after classes, you two walk home together, heading to one of your places. Since both of you tend to talk endlessly about everything and nothing, your conversations often stretch late into the night.

✦ I've said this countless times in my matchups, but to me, Bachira is someone who would love dancing, and it reminds me of Lavinho, in terms of blending dance and football. I'm certain you and Bachira have spent days and nights discovering new music, going to concerts, climbing on stage at conventions, and being the ones who set the mood in a silent room.

✦ You're the duo everyone calls when they want to party all night—two goofballs with positive vibes, always honest, sometimes too much, but never malicious.

✦ I usually do a quick MBTI and psychological overview: "Gryffindor, Cabin Three (if you’re a Percy Jackson fan), Sun Leo, MBTI I think I'm ENFP or ENFJ, not too sure." To me, Bachira is half Gryffindor, half Hufflepuff. He shares your zodiac sign, and from experience, fire attracts fire, creating an explosive, determined, and passionate relationship. You naturally understand how the other operates. In MBTI terms, Bachira is often considered an ESFP. The main difference between ENFP and ESFP lies in how you process information: you tend to do it abstractly, through interpretation and imagination, while he's more about the concrete and tangible, acting quickly. This adds another layer of balance to your relationship, where you share many similarities.

✦ I imagine you two in a best-friends-to-ambiguous-lovers trope. There aren't any clear words to define your relationship, but everyone knows it's powerful, radiant, and won't fade anytime soon.

A word about your match: Diantre, I thought of so many characters lol. But Bachira, to me, is the best candidate. He complements you while resembling you. Thanks for reaching out to me for this matchup; I hope you liked it. See you soon!

© TIGREBLVNC 2025 | INTERESTED IN A MATCHUP EXCHANGE? CHECK THIS.

[pattywagon2go]

FixTF2: What Happened, Why Did Valve Step In, And What Comes Next?

DISCLAIMER: I am in no way affiliated with neither Valve nor the people who run the FixTF2 petition. Do not treat anything I say here as any official announcement of any future plans for the movement. All my thoughts and opinions are mine and mine alone.

As of the making of this post, the save.tf has officially closed down to new signatures, racking up a generous 343,711 total signatures. I've made my thoughts on FixTF2 clear in the past, where I said that I didn't have much hope that Valve would actually do something, but to my surprise, Valve seemed to have finally stepped in and done something about the bot issue plaguing the game for 5 straight years beyond the usual half-assed band-aid fix. In light of Valve surprising me, I want to talk about what's happened, some speculation as to why Valve is potentially doing this, and what I think comes next from all of this.

So, let's clear some stuff up: Is Casual really bot-free?

From what I've seen and heard, yes!

Starting around June 25th, multiple sources reported a massive drop in the active player count for Team Fortress 2 from Steam Charts, being around 15,000-16,000 users vanishing overnight. Many people suspect this to be a large-scale ban wave Valve enacted, and there is a large amount of evidence to support this. (More info from this video by shounic here) Since then, up until the day this post is being written (July 1st 2024), people have reported that Casual servers across all regions have been fairly bot-free, with only the occasional one popping up, a far cry from a month ago, where servers were flooded with them no matter where you went. I myself even hopped on a few games and to my surprise, there were no bots to be found whatsoever. Its honestly been super refreshing to see the game be this clean, as now its actually fun to play once again. I haven't touched the game in months, but since the bots have been kicked out for a little bit, it feels good to play once more. If you haven't played the game for a while cause of the bots, now's your chance to hop in and enjoy the game. Its actually fun to play now that the bots have been squashed. On top of that, (as of the time this post is being written), Valve appears to still be actively curbing cheaters and bots from the game, even setting up a dedicated Steam support page for anyone who gets a game ban here.

So, why's Valve doing any of this?

This is where I'm going to step into speculation territory, as Valve being Valve means there's barely any information they will share with the public, but I'll do my best to come up with some logical explanations. I would say that Valve doing a ban wave has both a short-term goal and a long-term goal. The short-term goal was Valve was always intending to do a ban wave, it just took a while to do. What I think happened was Valve took a while to collect a database of known bot accounts and (presumably) their hosters, and from there, once Valve felt they were comfortable with the amount they had collected, they pulled the trigger and proceeded to wipe them out. They obviously couldn't just outright say "Hey, we're gonna do a wipe of the bots soon" because that would have given the hosters plenty of time to set up proactive measures to make Valve's job harder. The only evidence I really have for this is the dropoff of players on Steam Charts, which shows around 15k-16k players mysteriously disappeared from the game, which seems to point to Valve issuing a game ban toward said accounts/deleting them entirely. Alternatively, Valve could have banned a limited amount of accounts, much lower than the 15-16k shown by Steam Charts, but it sent a scare to hosters who deactivated their bots and took them off the game once they knew Valve was watching them, but this explanation I don't have much evidence to prove beyond scattered Discord screenshots of supposed hosters telling people to change their bot configurations due to Valve clamping down on them. The long-term goal of this, though far-fetched and lacking evidence to support, could have to do with Deadlock, their next game, as a proactive measure to prevent these same malicious actors from flooding the game on Day 1, something many people have pointed out and what's happened to CS2 not even a year into its launch.

(UPDATE: Ok I might as well address this cause it did come up while I was writing the post, but a Team Fortress 2 DLC for an upcoming Funko Pop game called Funko Fusion was announced, and people have said that the only reason why Valve squashed the bots was because Valve wanted the game to look good in time for the crossover.

Now I am by no means a fan of Funko Pop, I think they look a bit ugly and there's a myriad of other things people take issue with, but that's all outside the scope of this post. I personally don't care that this is happening to begin with, as Funko Pops are something I routinely forget about, so as far as the DLC existing, I don't care that much. That being said, if it is true that Valve only squashed bots due to this collab happening to begin with, then that is pretty sad and disappointing to see, with how Valve wasn't motivated to fix the issue until a different company came knocking and asked them to do something cause they didn't want the DLC to look bad. But since there's no confirmation this is the case, Valve does have some level of plausible deniability here, and ultimately, something good did come from this, at a (to me, cause I couldn't give a shit about Funko) nonexistant cost so I won't complain)

So now time to return to the last part of the question in the title: What comes next?

Well for one thing, the war has not been won yet.

A big mistake with SaveTF2 was once Valve tweeted that they apparently "heard" us and were working to improve things, people largely declared victory and chose to stop there. Yet things didn't substantially improve since then, only cascading into a far worse situation. This time around, we cannot give up as quickly as last time. We are on the cusp of victory, but we need to keep the pressure on Valve. Keep holding them accountable for the bot issue. Put pressure on them to get rid of the bots for good. Don't let them off the hook and give them a slap on the wrist for only repelling the bots for a little bit, because believe me, as soon as Valve stops doing anything and slinks back into the shadows, the bots will return, and they will be far worse than anything we've seen thus far. It happened two years ago, it will happen again if we just declare victory now and go home. What Valve is doing is a great change of pace and they do deserve some praise for what they're doing, but we must make sure they stay committed to fixing the issue at hand. The best time for Valve to fix the issue was 5 years ago. The second best time is here and now. For now, hop on a few games and enjoy the (relatively) clean servers. We've earned a small break after our victory, but once you're done, make sure to grab your best bot-stomping boots, because our job is far from over.

[louisjude]

Honestly -

Most of these ‘fans’ do not like Buck for Buck. They have created a version of him in canon and anything he does that doesn’t fit it it’s OOC for them, even if it is exactly how he’d act (case in point: The BT scene on 710). They, somehow, cannot accept Buck has changed and matured and is not the same guy he was during S2/S3. Hell, he’s grown alone during S7 alone. Discovering a part of himself has done wonders for him.

Likewise, I truly believe the only representation they care about or want is if it comes in the form of Buddie. They cry on how Henren is being ignored and how it is BuckTommy’s fault, but when have they ever shown care or interest for them beforehand? They use them as part of their argument without giving them proper attention. They don’t care we now have great mlm representation on screen in a show like 911, they’re just mad because it is not Buddie.

And I do suspect they became this mad this fast because they do see the potential of BT and they know this can very well be a LTR for Buck. Ofc we don’t know what will happen, but if we look at it from a neutral POV, we all can see the seeds being planted for Tommy to be there for a while. They’ve made creative choices with him that they haven’t made with no other LI that really sells it for me, to be honest.

(Including giving them a particular sound for everytime they have a moment, but I digress)

I do agree with you - I care about Buck being happy. I was quick to get on board with BT because I have never seen Buck act so giddy and into someone. And so far, I think Tommy is matching him really well. We’ll see what happens in Season 8, but I would be surprised if they break up during it, even more so if it is ep 3/4, which arguably will be right after the start of the season (assuming they go for a multi eps opener)

If I'm being honest, the toxic side of that part of the fandom feels very reminiscent of certain subset of another fandom I'm apart of that I do not want to delve into because I've already done so many times.

get ready for a long response

I came into the 911 fandom as bvddie shipper, I still love the ship itself, idc if it ever goes canon because fanfic exists, edits exist, fanart exists. I love eddie and buck as separate characters respectively and I do not need them to be together enjoy their relationship whether it's platonic or romantic.

I think a lot of the loud, toxic shippers cannot separate them. Listen I think the co-parent jokes are hilarious and cute, but when it comes down to it in reality of the show, buck is not chris' parent. he's like an uncle, so many ppl grow up with their parents friends as their "aunts and uncles" and that's exactly how I'm viewing chris and bucks relationship ever since I've come down from the bvddie high of analyzing everything and putting meaning behind every little piece of dialogue or set design or just like anything. I can acknowledge 911 is not a blockbuster franchise that has months or years of thought put into meaning behind set design or clothing choices like other fandoms I'm apart of that absolutely have so much thought and time put into them for things like that.

bvddie in itself is a great concept. absolutely you can read into scenes as being romantic even if they never were intended that way, that's what we do as fans. I completely understand why ppl see them as endgame because they're absolutely allowed to think that. but us bucktommy shippers are allowed to also talk about why we think bucktommy is endgame. I think that's another issue ppl are having is being able to curate their own feed, if you don't want to see people talk about one of these topics then block accs, block tags, keep your peace!

buck and tommy absolutely feel as though they have been written to last from what I've seen so far so tommy leaving so quickly would feel weird and like a punch in the gut to the journey buck as made. he made the effort to be with tommy even after everything went south. tommy made the effort to show up for buck. we are shown them being on very good terms by the season finale, like, we are probably intimate with one another and are in our cute honeymoon phase type of good terms. having them break up so early would be another Ali/Natalia moment and like, I just am tired of the same story being repeated for buck.

If they really were going for bvddie endgame, I think it would have been done this season. tommy wouldn't have been brought in at all or wouldn't have been involved in the plot outside helping rescue bobby and athena. they didn't need kim there, they could have built on eddies catholic guilt for his queer arc, they could have written what people were theorizing with the bachelor party where buck and eddie ended up kissing while drunk which could have spurred their relationship to begin and still have eddie go through a crisis and found a way to have chris still leave for texas (if they wanted to stick with a cheating arc, it could have been marisol & chris walking in on buck and eddie kissing) like there's so many things people theorized that genuinely would have been great ways to have bvddie be endgame but literally none of those things happened and instead we got buck in a stable, happy relationship with tommy that has been set up in a way that absolutely can have them going through all sorts of things from strengthening their relationship to testing their relationship. tommy can absolutely be integrated into the plot as much as karen is if not more. all I can say is why throw away such potential when you already had the other potential there?

also as an eddie diaz defender, they can never make me hate eddie diaz, I just want to see him not feel this constant need to find a new mom/wife when he's never had time for himself EVER. he needs therapy, he needs to build back trust with christopher, he needs to stop searching for this perfect woman because if there's someone out there for him they will find him eventually. I really want eddie to focus on chris and himself and stop worrying so much about what his life should look like per his family/what society thinks his life should look like.

I truly cannot stress enough how much eddie needs to fix himself and his and chris' relationship before jumping into another romance, whether it be buck or anyone else.

on the other hand, buck deserves to be loved ANYWAYS. tommy is already showing potential to just love buck anyways despite anything that happens, that he'll do anything for him, that he can be his rock. gerrard can definitely be smh to shake them up, no couple in this show is safe from anything no matter how in love and happy they are. it's time for buck to have his madney, bathena, henren moments with his own love interest. buck deserves to be happy with tommy, to go through the hard times with him, for someone to love him no matter what and that absolutely does not take away from how important buck and eddie's friendship is. people cannot seem to grasp that unfortunately and it's sad.

in other words, im so tired of people acting like they are superior over ships. I truly am.

[fushiglow]

Hello glow!!! Thank you for another lovely satosugu work! :)

I absolutely love how real and tangible your writing is - seeing them start with different states of being turned on and building together really paints such a lovely picture of what intimacy is without the expectation of a perfect start-stop :) 3 cheers to realistic sexual dynamics!

Also, I think that your link at the end of your post goes to Violent Delights instead - but maybe that's just an issue on my end!

Thank you so much for this lovely feedback (and the heads up about the link), I can't tell you how much your words cheered me on Friday! They came at a time I really needed to hear them so, if you don't mind, I'm going to use this ask as an opportunity to say a few things about my writing and why I do what I do — no obligation to respond!

Quite honestly, I have been feeling a little anxious about how I'm perceived as a writer recently. When Over the Threshold started gathering some steam in January, I only had five published works on AO3 posted over the course of six months. By the end of August, I'll have 18 published works for Jujutsu Kaisen, 16 of which will be complete. I have never been this productive in a fandom before!

A lot of the reason for that is because I'm finally learning how to work with my AuDHD brain. I love writing, I really do, and I'm constantly excited by the possibilities that reside within my brain. I have more ideas than I have time or hands to write them, but I want to explore as many of those ideas as possible. In the past, I would have forced myself to stick to the thing that I was "supposed" to write, rather than following the burst of inspiration and writing the thing that I "wanted" to write. To no one's surprise, that usually meant I ended up writing nothing at all.

I'm someone who seeks out challenges, and all the fics I've published in 2024 have been experimental in some way. Come Get Your Honey was a challenge in extended metaphor. Balance was a challenge in seamlessly blending two very different universes. Mailman AU was a challenge in format. Violent Delights was a challenge in pushing myself to new and uncomfortable places. Thunder was a challenge in encapsulating an entire world and history within a single motif without ever actually seeing that world and history.

I'm really proud of every single one of those works, as well as the speed I've written them at. I've published 92k words on AO3 already this year and written far more, so I feel like I can no longer justifiably call myself a slow writer. However, all the works mentioned above have artistic merit in the more traditional sense — i.e. they're not smut.

At the time of writing this, three of my five most recent works contain sexual content with varying degrees of explicitness, and it's hard to escape that pervasive (and flawed) idea that smut is "less serious" as a form of writing. Even writing smut in the first place has been a slow process of overcoming some of my own biases. However, sex is part of the spectrum of human experiences, and it's also deeply political. Whenever I explore it in my writing, you can be sure that I always have that at the forefront of my mind. That's why these works, too, have represented something new and challenging and exciting for me.

Discreet Delivery was the first piece containing explicit sexual content that I ever shared publicly and, with how rife top/bottom discourse is in this fandom (most of which is based on heteronormative ideals that I vehemently disagree with), I really wanted to make a statement straight out of the gate. I'm very proud of how I managed to weave a switch/vers narrative into a oneshot, and the feedback on it was wonderful.

Headroom, however, presented a very different kind of challenge. It was extremely difficult to write, because it doesn't follow the beats of a traditional sex scene. There's no satisfaction for Satoru nor for the readers, and that made it tricky to keep it engaging. I was also very nervous about showing a different side of these beloved AU characters and establishing a new dynamic between them while incorporating some of the broader themes from Over the Threshold.

Finally, Tell Me I'm Pretty was pure subversion, writing Suguru in particular in a way I've never seen before to challenge expectations about "roles" in sex. It meant I had no blueprint to work from, but I'm not interested in reproducing the same dynamics I've read a thousand times. However, that also means that I felt very anxious about how people would receive this fic — especially on GeGo Day.

The truth is, everything I write I write for myself first and foremost (even if it's writing something to make my friends happy!), but it's hard to keep sight of that when you're blessed with an engaged audience. This is a huge reason why updates to Over the Threshold take time. This fic is deeply important and deeply personal to me, but its growing popularity adds a pressure that I don't want to influence my writing. I feel a constant underlying need to outdo myself with every new fic and chapter I post, but that's unrealistic and unachievable.

Obviously, I want readers to enjoy what I write, but I know the moment I start making choices for other people is the moment my writing suffers. That's the main reason why I'm reluctant to put anything behind a paywall, even if I feel frustrated with the way fanfics are casually consumed on the internet. Readers occasionally make demands of me without any respect for my time and effort and creative vision, and sometimes I look at what I've written and think, "Am I really going to give that away for free?". However, asking for anything beyond tips would change the game for me. Enjoying my writing is far more valuable to me, at least at this point in time.

All of this is to say: I really loved writing Tell Me I'm Pretty. I had a blast with it — until it came time to post, at which point I suddenly felt full of self-doubt. For you to appear in my inbox and tell me that you appreciated the realism of the intimacy in this fic? I couldn't have asked for anything more, thank you so much ♥️

TL;DR, I write for myself, but god, it's the best feeling in the world when readers resonate with my writing. I can't tell you how much I appreciate you taking the time to let me know. I love you all to the moon and back!

[unknownteapot]

I didn’t like Tommy’s story either. I’m currently listening to the episode and so far I love it. You can tell they put a lot of time and effort into it, specially the background sounds. But fans can be disappointed that the format of a series was changed after months of not hearing from it. I don’t think people are ungrateful, they’re upset with how Smosh dealt with this. I think it’s unfair to completely disregard people’s concerns

hiii anon <3

i agree with you, completely honestly, i really don't want to seem ungrateful or like i'm being too negative about this whole thing, i'm going to try my best to listen to the sword af 2 episodes when i can and obviously i understand there's immense hard work and dedication that goes into making something like this, from what i've seen here on tumblr it's great so far- im not intending to disregard that!!

similar to you, though, i'm not too happy the way this was dealt with & announced - my major gripes are that their considerations for people who are deaf/hard of hearing/have auditory processing issues were only made after the backlash of the first announcement? like wdym you're making it into a whole podcast but didn't even think about people who can't listen to it? like not once in the entire process of shifting mediums? as far as i know (please correct me i'd love to be corrected, i hope i'm wrong) there haven't been any steps taken so far about that- i haven't seen any captions/transcripts posted by smosh games or any statements after the 2nd community post on yt where they addressed the backlash on what their further steps are to make this more accessible

it also feels strange to me that they were so silent about it for so long- maybe if they'd made the announcement earlier/gave at least a little info we'd already have had this conversation about inclusivity and captions would be available along with the 1st Ep so everyone can keep following the story they absolutely love as it releases

lastly (and i'm sorry this is an essay anon and anyone reading but i really need to say all this) the community of sword af fans are one of the most dedicated & talented communities i've seen tbh, they have to know the support is there right? i'm so surprised they're not posting any parts of the podcast on youtube (the literal home of smosh), it's so strange to me, it really feels like it's being pushed to the side slightly- but hey what do i know, i'm a silly gal on tumblr pls dont come for me

[aichi-division]

𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐚'𝐬 𝐌𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐢𝐫𝐬

Narrated by Shouta Takeda

Part 1: The beginning

Talking about my past is something I'm not used to. I don't think it's really an interesting topic, I mean, I don't think talking about a guy who was always abused by his family and never had a shred of luck in years is something entertaining for the public... shit, I'm sounding like a victim again.

Anyway, maybe this is an opportunity to express what I always tend to hide. I think my colleagues and friends deserve some kind of explanation as to why I am the way I am.

I lived most of my childhood in the downtown area of Tokyo. My family owns a major home appliance company, so you understand, they shit money. Having a lot of money necessarily implies complying with certain guidelines and standards. A bad management of the family economy implies a bad image to the public and my parents were very aware of this issue.

Yes, now you may wonder how someone like me could live such a luxurious life and end up a bum. The answer is quite simple, I broke the rules. Breaking things is something I've always been good at, honestly. My sin was to choose a path that my family despises. My mother, especially, could never look me in the eye after I confessed to her my interest in the arts.

"We raised you to be a Takeda, to be a future leader of our companies. You're so fucking ungrateful."

My parents and siblings have a very simple way to solve this type of problem. It's like when they serve you a menu you don't like at the restaurant. You just throw it away, stand up and walk away. Clearly I was able to pursue a career in the arts, but the cost was losing my entire family.

I was discarded as a piece of trash with no future and with the money I was entitled to by inheritance, I paid for my studies, lodging and any other stupid expenses that came my way. What I didn't see coming was my own inability to excel at the one thing I loved in this life.

Competing against a host of artists who clearly had greater talent and capabilities was something I had never considered. It was like a direct punch in the face. Honestly, it didn't hurt to lose my family, but it did hurt to give them the reason and satisfaction of my failure.

It is an indescribable rage, as if there were fire in my veins and I could not breathe without feeling like breaking everything. From there, everything began to fall into a hole, infinite, dark, impossible to get out of.

In all that chaos, I made several friends with the same bad luck as me, although they were burdened with something I didn't have at the time: addictions. I started with soft drugs, weed, nicotine…. But within a few months I was relying on methamphetamines, cocaine and starting on a path to heroin.

It's not something I'm proud to talk about. It was a hard time, where many times I behaved like a maniac. I convinced myself that the only way to be happy was through those syringes. It took me a long time to realize that reality was far from the mental construction I had of myself.

There was a time when things, our society, the norm had changed quite a bit. Women in power, competition, a new order of which I could understand little, as I was too stoned to realize it. I was living in a haze, in slow motion, living one second at a time, while everything was going to shit.

And it was there that I met the people to whom I owe my life: Issey and Eiji.

They found me in the Aichi district, who knows how, sitting on the sidewalk, humming some song while going through the worst hangover of my life. When they approached me, I really thought they would be one of those punk kids with their urge to beat up bums, pure Clockwork Orange style. What a surprise I got when I realized that they actually wanted to talk to me and recruit me in some so-called rap battles and I don't know what the fuck.

"I like your voice, do you know how to rap? It's not very difficult, you just have to have a good use of words and use a mic to…" Issey kept talking, so energetic and genuine that he sounded like a walking sunshine that would burn any bitter person like me.

“I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, kid.” I said, trying to decipher something that made sense out of all that monologue.

I think in the meantime, Eiji whispered something about me being a drug addict and that they shouldn't come near me, but Issey was very persistent. I actually smile every time I remember that moment. Things have changed a lot since that day.

Issey and Eiji became what I could really call a family. Being older, I had to take responsibility for their well-being and that forced me to change many aspects of myself, starting with rehabilitation.

The light of those two children made me realize a completely different path from what I had proposed and, above all, an opportunity to be a better version of me. I really hope that if Issey and Eiji read this, they know that I love them dearly and that I am very grateful and proud to be able to be their leader.

...ugh, I got sentimental again.

Anyway, I started living life again, starting all over again. I met a lot of people, started and ended relationships, fought a guy for a condom…. I think I'm at my peak.

I know this is the first part of a series of memoirs I should write later, but I think this pretty much sums up the road I've traveled to be who I am now. I'm not a cool guy, far from it.

But I am grateful for what I have.

[aquatark]

Can I ask your opinion on Endless Ocean Luminous?

Thanks for the ask anon! :D

I've been trying to get my thoughts on this game together into something that makes sense for a while now, but no better time than the present!

tldr: I seem to like it more than most people! I think this game is alright though it's still very flawed, and I'm still enjoying myself with it, but it seems very clearly rushed and it shows. I'm still very happy that the series has a third entry at all, and am looking forward to the future of the series after this game!

...okay, now I'm gonna aimlessly ramble for wayyy too long lmao (spoilers under the cut if you haven't played)

So, to get a few of my biggest gripes out of the way:

Having completed it... the plot is god awful (esp the ending, iykyk). I think I would have preferred having none at all, but Daniel is cool

The English voice of Sera isn't ideal, though this is an issue other languages (like Japanese, French) don't seem to have

The setting, character development, and lore is much more shallow, uninteresting, and poorly-explored through gameplay than any other diving game Arika has made, which is saying a lot bc EO1's plot was invented pretty close to release, and is known for also not being great

The game doesn't run as smoothly as I'd like. maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I remember a time when devs didn't feel like they could release their game if it crashes as often online as this game does

Some of this game's creature textures are far less polished than they ought to be for a Switch game. Surprisingly, most of the ones ported from Arika's defunct mobile fishing game are fine! It's stuff like the megamouth shark and bigfin reef squid that really stand out to me as sub-par

I'm not as bothered about this as some ppl seem to be, but I would have liked a little more customization freedom, ala EO2's suit cuts

Many creature descriptions are copied verbatim from EO2, which I really dislike. wasted a perfect opportunity to highlight different aspects of creatures, not rehash the same tired and basic facts

Though I love the concept of dynamic time of day underwater, it's executed very poorly imo. Could have done with some more fine-tuning (something that could be said abt... a lot of this game lol)

All of this however only detracts a little from my enjoyment of the game overall.

The fact that something like the story can be shipped in the final product with a dev team that shares many many people with the original EO games (seriously, compare the staff lists on the wiki, I genuinely teared up seeing so many familiar faces again)... suggests to me that this game was subjected to crazy time constraints, though I don't have any concrete proof. Nintendo has been known recently to be anti-crunch with some of its biggest IPs, so maybe an Arika problem? Regardless, this game shouldn't have released in the condition it's in, and definitely should not be the price it is.

I really don't like being too negative though, so I won't be! After all, and this may be controversial coming from an EO blog... but the various flaws of Arika's previous diving games made this not be the biggest surprise to me. I mean, I 100%ed EO1, including collecting every salvage and getting all gear/hairstyles! Do you have any idea how hellish that is? I eat slop for breakfast!!

I've still been playing a lot of this game with my dear friend MDB (us pictured below), and there are a lot of things I like about it!

I will, for example, drool all over this game's sound design till the day my son "dies" in a tragic submarine accident. Ayako Saso (main talent behind Everblue 1/2, EO1/2, and Luminous' original compositions and sound in general) knocked it out of the park as usual, with the menu sfx feeling really Everblue reminiscent in a way I adore, and the music easily being some of the best in the series. I know many fans are disappointed by there being no vocal tracks, but honestly? While I like the fact EO1 and 2 had them, they simply wouldn't have fit in this game. So I'm chill about it.

I think the random generation and focus on multiplayer are fun and fresh for the series! I have EO1 and 2 when I want polished singleplayer gameplay, and this game when I feel like something else. EO1 and 2's multiplayer objectively sucked, so it's a really interesting angle to take. The gameplay loop is entertaining enough for me - I like salvaging, scanning creatures, collecting tags, and hunting orbs, both in solo and shared dives. The framework is solid, but could use a little more meat.

The fact they were finally able to realize the "Ancient Sea" concept that had been thrown around during development since EO1 is lovely. Despite having been a dinosaur kid, I'm not really knowledgeable on any of the species depicted in-game, so their designs don't bother me... I'm just a sucker for human ruins overrun by prehistoric life!

Though there are some categories of sea creature that I'm a little sad not to see anymore, like seadragons, sea slugs, and many marine mammals... I don't mind this game's different roster. I like the creature variety, because imo, it would have been a little boring and predictable to have the roster just be every creature that was previously in EO, plus some new ones. This system avoids the kind of problem Pokémon games are currently having, where they have so many critters that they can't possibly put them all in one game, but fans are upset not to have the entire dex ported, y'know? It's like playing EO for the first time again!

I've seen several people theorize that the series was "intentionally sabotaged with a bad new game, so that they have an excuse not to make any more EO games", and... I mean... all I'll say about that is that there's no use killing something that's already dead lol. There'd been no games for over a decade, and very little demand for one - why would a game company looking to make money put so much effort and money into marketing, development, pre-order bonuses, and My Nintendo rewards in order to create hype for a game that's bad on purpose... when they could have kept the series dead for free? Nintendo clearly believe the concept of diving games has legs (or fins ig), with a staff team who love the ocean and dive irl, and are trying new things to see if it sticks better than the previous four games they've made, which collectively sold worse than Luminous did.

It may not all be great, or even good, but experimentation and trying unconventional things is what made EO such a special series in the first place baybee! We just remember the parts of it we liked, and forget the really dumb stuff. The EO team has never been perfect, and I can see their smudgy fingerprints all over this game... I mean, these are the same devs who didn't notice a crash so bad it had their game recalled, and repeatedly yoinked copyrighted material without permission to use in their games... but that's a long post for another day lol.

Soooo yeah! Those are some of my thoughts! Feel free to express your own thoughts on the game here - I'd be curious what other people think, and I'd be more than happy to answer more asks on specific elements of the game, or just getting me talkin' about this game, or any other game in the series for that matter! Any EO questions at all, ask away~!

Thanks for reading, hehe! >( ')

[jays-nook]

Watched the First 4 Episodes of the PJO Series, Here are My Thoughts:

Cast:

I absolutely love the cast!! They are just so perfect for their roles!! I've seen my fair share of clips and behind the scenes footage to know the chemistry between the actors and how perfectly the main trio embodies their characters, but actually seeing their acting and how well they fit together just makes sense in my brain!! They're all so small as well and adorable that it really puts it into perspective how young they truly are to be going through all of this and the things the characters go through as the books progress. It hurts but it's also endears you more to the actors and the characters.

Walker is just absolutely perfect as Percy. He's such a little shit and the way he delivers his lines, whether they're angry/emotional/sad or just comedic, is simply amazing!

"I am impertinent" THAT PART HAD ME WHEEZING FR

Although I don't have an issue with Lin Manuel Miranda as a person (I absolutely love his works and stuff) it does not make sense to cast him as Hermes, and that's just going off the elevator scene when he delivers the package! Like I honestly can't imagine this man as Luke's father :// It could've been better.

But the others are just great! Their energy is amazing and omg Mr. D was a blast! It's a much different portrayal than I was expecting since Mr. D is so chill and like aloof in the books, but seeing him yell and stuff at Percy to take on the quest just made me look at him in a new light!!

Filming/Aesthetics:

Every scene is shot so beautifully! And the choices they made with the places they add the music too!! Like the entire fight with the Minotaur being void of music was such a good choice. It just makes the entire scene so much more emotionally charged and tense while keeping the audience on the edge of their seat!! It was filmed so well and god it transported me to how it felt like when I read the books for the first time and went through that scene~

And omg the scene with Sally just sitting in the rain on the windowsill :(( That one was so soft and sad istg- any scene with Sally was just perfect, love her and the actress who did such a good job with her!!

Changes from the Books:

It's been around 5 or so?? years since I last read the books, so my recollection of what actually happened and what didn't was a bit fuzzy while watching the series but I was able to see how things changed. And so far, I don't mind the changes that much, like yes some had me staring at the screen like "hm" because they wetn a different way than I was expecting, but overall not too bad!

I did enjoy the scenes with Medusa, I liked having Percy wanting to hear her out and trusting to follow her inside because of what Sally had told him when he was a kid. I liked the conversations between Percy and her in the kitchen and even when she was explaining her side of the story to the trio. It was such a good way to present the scene, to show her resentment of both Athena and Posiedon, and also to show how she interacts with Percy to lure him in and play on his trusting and albeit naive nature at that point in the quest.

I did see people talking about episode 8 and the big reveal tho and I'm both excited to see it but also wary of the change they added cause I've seen a lot of mixed reactions. Some prefer the book version, some the version in the series.

General Thoughts:

I'm honestly enjoying the series, it's exciting seeing it all come to life and the dynamics and just sitting there in anticipation of what's to come.

I'm currently watching it with my big sis and let me tell y'all it's so much fun!! She hasn't read the books so all she knows is purely from when we watched the movies together a long time ago so she doesnt remember much (but unfortunately the big reveal at the end isn't going to be a surprise for her). I'm having the time of my life being a little shit and laughing at her confusion or whenever she'd start yelling "WHAT" at the screen like when Sally dissapeared HAHAHA she keeps turning to me and trying to come to conclusions and theories for things while I just smile or shake my head at outrageous ones. I am excited to see her reactions to certain scenes in the other books, especially when it comes to a certain someones end in the last book (she does not like him rn so I'm like 👀 rn to see if that might change along the way).

Uncle Rick did such a good job with the series so far and I'm excited to watch the rest of it, especially now that news of it being renewed for season 2 came out HEHEHE

And thats it for today! I'll be watching the rest of the series at some point this week and will be sharing the rest of my thoughts then. Thank u for reaching the end haha. Till then, have a good day folks and stay tuned! <3

*Last 4 episodes here*

[ageless-aislynn]

Mass Effect 2, Mission: Get Shepard some fish, completed! (Don't worry, I check on them after every mission. I hope being friendly with Kelly is enough for her to take care of them for me at times when I can't! 🤞😣🤞 And I think I can get more/other types of fish? Not sure, but even if not, I'm happy with these! 🐟🐠🤗)

I love Kelly, I think it's awesome that Shep has somebody helping him with the administration part of command. Plus, she's a cutie-pie!

Mass Effect 2, Mission: Get Shepard a squad, in progress!

So far, I've only run into one serious issue with lack of ammo, during the Archangel mission. My pistol ran out and there wasn't a single thermal clip to be found no matter how far back I ran. 😐 So I have to try to take the enemy on with a dang shotgun, machine gun and grenade launcher, which are all good weapons in certain situations but not at a distance. My powers are Shockwave, which never seems to actually do much good, and Charge, which I do enjoy using but in this case I was just charging into a pack of Krogans and trying to punch my way out. I died. A lot.

And then respawned. Without any ammo. Again. And again. Annnnnd again. 😑

Keep in mind that I'm on Little Baby Lamb Casual difficulty, so I have no idea how anybody gets through this on anything harder, much less on Insanity. Ugh, ammo management suuuuuuucks.

I did buy a Geth shotgun that seems to recharge and has a much longer range - I KFC'd a few enemy Krogan at a distance and that made me feel better, lol!

Anyway! I also gave Garrus some stylin' TRON lights on his armor, just 'cause he's my Best Turian Bro and he deserves to look supa-cool!

Seriously, though, I love how much Garrus believes in Shepard. I think it's pretty darn awesome that you know he loves you, whether it's like a brother to male!Shep or as a love interest to fem!Shep (or as a bro to fem!Shep if she's romancing somebody else). Garrus straight up doesn't care: he doesn't have to be your love interest to have your back and to care about you and I just love him so much for that!

I love going around and talking to my squadmates after each mission, though I find that I'm honestly really missing Kaidan and Liara. At least we'll be seeing Tali again!

I just recruited Grunt (and forgot to get a pic of the squadmates line-up with him in it, oops) and... I was honestly surprised. I realized I'd never actually heard him speak in any clips from ME2 or 3 that I'd ever seen and he's got this smooooooooth mother-fudgesicle™️😜 type voice, my word!

This clip is from ME3 but it makes the point, lol! I seriously love him so much already but that's no surprise since I've adored Wrex in this series and Drack from Andromeda.

Anyway, I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favorite playthrough on Little Baby Lamb difficulty with a player who has serious Skill Issues on the Citadel. 😜

Love you, friends, hope you're doing great! 🤗💖