#i'm having a crappy week and comments make it better

[sirfrogsworth]

I've been getting two kinds of responses from my recent trips out of the house to the movies.

People who are proud of me for accomplishing something even though it is difficult and uses up a lot of spoons.

And that feels nice. The encouragement really helps.

And there are people who think it is some kind of sign that I am making progress with my physical and/or mental health.

This can be frustrating. I clearly say I'm going to the movies because the house is quiet and the loneliness gets so unbearable I have to leave for a bit.

They see a coping mechanism as improvement.

It would be like if someone were having a panic attack and they thought breathing exercises were a sign they've nearly kicked that pesky anxiety condition.

"A few more deep breaths and you can throw away that Xanax, amirite?"

Going to the movies makes my physical health worse. I've been struggling all week to recover.

And these excursions into the world don't help my grief or loneliness or depression. They just let me escape those things for a couple of hours. The house is just as quiet when I return home.

There is a person on Facebook who has never understood my illness. They constantly suggested exercising and getting out of the house and basically using willpower to heal myself. And she didn't outright say it, but the tone of her comment was one of self-validation. Like I finally took her advice. And then she said, "Keep it up!"

Meanwhile I feel like I am punching myself to distract from being sad and lonely.

I wish I could just watch movies at home. Feeling crappy for days just because I need to escape is not an ideal solution for me. It's just what I need to do right now.

I know these folks mean well. But sometimes when someone thinks I've made progress when I really haven't... it sort of makes me feel like a fraud. And I feel like it sets up these expectations. Like if I reveal I'm not actually doing better I am letting them down even though I never intended to make it seem like I was doing better.

I don't know if any of this is making any sense.

I really need to get some sleep.

[sequinsmile-x]

hiiii friends <3

I never usually do this kind of thing, and I might delete this later, but I feel really kind of shitty about this at the minute and for once I'm going to say it.

I have never written for the feedback. Don't get me wrong, comments and kudos and reblogs make me so happy but it's not what I do it for. I write because I enjoy it, because it's one of the few hobbies I truly have that isn't ever impacted by my disability.

Saying that, these last few weeks, there has been a noticeable decline in interaction with what I am putting out there (especially on AO3) and it is really disheartening. And my anxiety peaks and tells me I'm past it and no one wants to read my fics anymore so why bother. (I do my best not to listen to that voice, because I know I write for me as much as I write for y'all...but it's hard)

It's always been odd. Multi-chapters ALWAYS get less interaction even though they take much more effort than one-shots. Some things take off even though I pulled them together in a couple of hours, and some things I've planned and spent days thinking about/pulling together don't.

And it's fine, but I am one of a handful of creators for this very small fandom. I'm never going to get 100s of notes here or comments on A03 because of the very nature that this fandom is small, and that's okay. I would rather write for something I truly love, a ship that has truly rotted my brain for close to 3 years, than something else just because it gets more interaction.

But today I'm just feeling a little sad about it, and if there's one thing I've learned it's sometimes better just to say it and get it out, and then move on.

(by move on i don't mean stop writing, i literally have so many thoughts for these two my brain might explode, i mean move on from feeling crappy about something i can't control haha)

[heartnagi]

LOVE AT FIRST... ORDER?

ᥫ᭡ ˖ ࣪࿐ྂ ꒰ thoma x fem!reader ꒱ ♡ sfw, however the reader is written as someone in college so this is at most 17+. 0.7k words. barista!thoma, headcanon format-ish, lots of fluff, this might just be a little cliche. i will make a part 2. i wrote this in one go in the tumblr drafts sigma moment. this will be edited soon! please only follow me if you are an adult thanks! reblogs & comments are appreciated! ꒰ゝ˕ σ̴̶̷̤ˋ꒱

thinking about part-time barista thoma who’s got his eyes set on a certain regular customer that comes by every lunchtime to study. is absolutely smitten by your smile and will make sure that he takes and makes your orders each time (begged the manager for it).

barista thoma, who memorizes your drink from the third time you’ve ordered, so each time he sees you walk inside the cafe, he brews it up and hands it over when you come up to the cashier. thinks he’s not obvious at all—no, ‘of course not.’ but you thought it was just an extra made drink that happened to be the same as your order.

barista thoma who adds a little bit more whipped cream to your order. and a little smiley face written with a marker on the cup—that soon turned into little hearts, then little notes that says hoped you ‘have a great day’ or ‘goodluck with your studies.'

barista thoma cleaning the tables around you and trying his best to start a conversation with you when he gets closer. thought you were ignoring his advances but he just didn’t realize you were wearing earphones while studying your material.

barista thoma with his heart pounding when you were the only one in the cafe. thinks his heart is about the burst when you’ve called him over to sit with you. finally having his first conversation with you that wasn’t taking your order.

barista thoma who’s fallen so hard for you because your little conversations the following days have gotten him to get to know you a little better. barista thoma getting an ego boost whenever you giggle at his crappy jokes.

barista thoma who’s been pining for you for so long, you’ve become a crucial part of his day. when you’re not able to visit the cafe he’s certainly worried. it was one day, and then a few days, and then a week. he was hoping that you hadn’t found a better cafe. or perhaps, was he being stupid for liking you without knowing if you were single or not.

barista thoma who was sad and gloomy as he missed you. noticing that the cafe was suddenly so bland and dark without you.

and after a few more days without your appearance, the humble barista just thinks that maybe you wouldn't be coming to the cafe ever again. though his manager tells him he's so in love to the point that he's overthinking—to the point that he's breaking his heart over nothing.

barista thoma finally accepting the fact that you wouldn't be coming anymore. and yet, the bells chime as the glass door opens—he’s finally been gifted the sight of an angel.

you come in with the same book bag and a smile on your face. as much as he wanted to say he missed you, he almost forgot that you're just a customer, "hiya cutie! the usual as always?" though a little flirting shouldn't be so bad.

you chuckle, "hi, i'd love to but i'm not here to drink. i'm here to give you something." you give him the little folded note. "my exams are over tomorrow. let me know when your shift ends."

barista thoma who was so confused, "my shift ends by-" you cut him off as you lean on the counter, "read the note first, okay?"

barista thoma who still doesn't know what you mean, getting flustered from how near you were to him. his mouth opens to ask a question, till he freezes up entirely. eyes widened as he feels your lips on his cheek. bashfully, you pull away to wave at him, before walking outside the cafe and back to your campus.

barista thoma in a daze. watching your through the windows of the cafe as you walked away with a smile on your face. his cheeks warming up as he quickly unfolds the note that says,

'to the cute barista, let's go on a date when my exams are over. here's my number, text me!'

he chuckles at the little smiley faces at the corners of the paper, and yet, it finally hits him. trying to keep calm before screaming, internally cheering as he shuts his eyes closed, thinking it was all like a dream. however, his pink-tinted cheeks (and from the scene that just unfolded) had customers already looking at him. don't worry, he'll still text you, just give him a little more time to process it.

©heartnagi — reposting, copying, & translating is prohibited. do not recommend on other sites (e.g. tiktok).

tags (those bolded cannot be tagged): @manjiroscum @shoyoist @yuujispinkhair @aqricus @wxnderernara @brokeartskid @pivkplear @kiatheinsomniac @seph-rae @kaeyatic @ipetnero @ajaxlovr @r-oronoa @kuujo @rosalzs @sunnybel3ved @kodemzx @fancysportsbearcookie

[gemini-sensei]

I’m sorry that you are having a crappy day, let me give you something that might make you feel a little better.

Imagine Monsterdick Alpha Demetri have a bad day at work, just a whole bunch of work he need ups out because a shitty coworker didn’t do it. He ended up having to stay late at work and don’t even get over time pay for it. He feels like absolute garbage by the time he gets home. He throws his work stuff to the side as soon as he gets into the house, ripping off his stupid key card lanyard and throwing it onto the near by coffee table.

His wife feels so bad for him because as much as her husband tends to whine and complain about just about anything she can tell he really means it this time. She sees how much work he has been doing recently. He gets almost no credit and no one even thinks to praise him even a little for all the work he does.

So that night when he is getting ready for bed in the bathroom she gets ready for HIM. It’s nothing much just her in a big tshirt…..with nothing else underneath it. But she knows he likes that, the simplicity of just being able to have his omega in such a light hearted manner. She didn’t have to pull any tricks out of a bed to get her husband hard and riled up for her. When he gets out of the bathroom he’s meet with his wife on all fours, face half buried in the pillows looking over at him, fat ass in the air, pussy slowly starting to leak slick. His mouth is watering at the very sight of her like that on their bed and it has her giggling.

Of course he goes right in to eating her out quickly then to burying his huge cock into her.

At first it’s a simple little dance, nothing to much and they are both feeling good. Reader moaning and whimpering into her pillow as her big alpha fucks her into their bed. Cheeks clapping loudly with every new wet thrust. She’s trying her best to throw it back on him. He grunting and panting over her as he grips her hips and rolls.

“Such a good boy~” it’s a light hearted comment that just slips out. Her pussy feels so good, her husband doing everything her can to make her feel good. Her eyes are rolling but soon snap open as his grip tightens, fingers digging into her belly hard. Suddenly his pace picks up to the point that the bed frame is rocking with the headboard banging into the wall. Tears start to pour from her eyes with loud moans that draw out every other minute. Her belly is being pushed all the way down on the bed only leaving her ass up and her back arched. Demetri hammers away at her fat cunt and it’s LOUD! It’s wet and echos around their room.

“Say it again…. Say it again omega!”

“Your such a good boy!! Your my good boy!!”

Minutes later he is slamming his pelvis into her ass one more time as his knot pops right into her spamming cunt. Her eyes cross and she squeals into the pillows below as she feeling him spray her insides with his thick load. It’s warm and fills her to the brim. His hips jerk and sputter as he lets everything he’s been holding onto for weeks unload into his perfect little omega. He lays limp over top of her panting in her ear the whole time. Licking over her bond mark.

“I’m a good boy aren’t I….”

“Your the best boy babe~”



This is a few weeks old but I'm still in awe of it. I tried to come up with more for it but it's perfect the way it is.

All I have to add is he would be such a good boy and need to be reminded of it. Like, ugh, just him needing to let go of his stress and be a good boy 😩

[nurgletwh]

*pokes head up*

*sees the world still exists*

Huh. Look at that.

On a more serious note, having essentially dropped off the face of the earth from the perspective of almost everyone who's following me here or my works on AO3, I am alive. This was not in any great danger of changing any more than the normal (one can always get hit by a bus, for example), but it turns out I haven't been well.

My first clues probably should have been long before I found myself sleeping eighteen hours a day for 'no damn good reason,' but since there were also some extremely difficult and terrifying weeks at work and the stress that goes with it, it crept up on me.

Unlike previous times I've disappeared, it wasn't related to my mental health this time. Not that it's any better, really, because it turns out that my diabetes was creeping out of control. I wasn't monitoring the way I should have been, and I missed a doctor's appointment without rescheduling (which is terrible when you have ADHD, because fucking remembering to call someone to reschedule is damn near impossible).

Anyhow.

It turns out that chronic high blood sugar makes a person feel all sorts of crappy in vague and indistinct ways that, in and of themselves, don't really trigger a sense of 'something is wrong, I should see a doctor.' It just leaves me feeling 'bleah' and 'ugh' and unable to do anything but sleep when I stop moving.

I am so far behind on anything and everything fun. I owe everyone who has a pending comment on my works a deep and heartfelt apology. I didn't mean to disappear. I know several of you have been worried, and it turns out at least semi-rightfully so. Not that there was much any of you could do about it, which really just makes it feel worse. I apologize for any stress and worry this may have caused. I can't promise to never do it again, unfortunately, because I am:

a) human b) a human with ADHD, and c) a human who is horrible at keeping up with communication the way she should.

I want to do better; I will try to do better. I have actually managed to continue writing, albeit at an exceptionally reduced rate. That's picked up markedly in the last week or so now that my meds have been adjusted. Hopefully, it continues to pick up. However, I don't think things are quite where they need to be based on my personal blood sugar testing, but it's a strong improvement. I still don't have much energy, but when I get home after work and sit down, I only sleep for forty-five minutes to an hour, not four followed by crawling into bed for the night and still not feeling rested in the morning.

I hope to start working my way through my inbox on AO3. If you're following me here and see this before I get to your comment, hi! ♥ Know that I have read them all and they give me sparks of joy to think about, but I have been very emphatically squashing any guilt at my non-response for now. Feeling guilty is a potent anti-motivator for someone with ADHD. It makes a growing mountain that I can run away from like an Olympic sprinter, which means that the only way I will successfully get back on track is to not feel guilty or compelled, which is the opposite of how it works for many folk.

I also seem to have gotten into some fucked-up screwy mindset where my brain is telling me I have to have something ready to post (or nearly so) before I can answer comments now. Which is just... wrong. So very, very wrong. I'm working on that, too. Blood sugar fixing first, however.

Take care, everyone. I've definitely been thinking about all of you and have seriously missed having the conversations and speculations that go with successfully generating writing but also require successfully responding to comments. It's been a seriously sucky couple of months; here's hoping things improve.

♥

[strawberrybobamilk]

Cut Here (Part 1)

So it's been a while I've been wanting to write a Trevor Philips origin story fanfic, but I never had the motivation to do so, until now that I came up with some ideas and experimented (so sorry if it's a bit crappy and all over the place), so here is my take on our most beloved psychopath's backstory. Probably gonna make it a multipart fic and eventually upload it on AO3 (once I get ahold of my pc again). Any feedbacks and suggestions are welcome.

TWs: S/A and abuse.

1967

Betty Philips was coming back home after another night shift. Another night, same thing. Stripping and dancing for the entertainment of those drunk perverted low lives. When she was younger and moved from England to Canada along with her family in 1943, her parents promised her things were gonna be better, everything was going to be fine and dandy... and now, twentyfour years later, this is what she ended up doing for a living... and a shitty paycheck as well.

She was now walking back home, down the dimly lit streets, a cigarette in her mouth and soft wind caressing her red hair; her thoughts were interrupted when she suddendly felt herself being dragged in a dark alleyway by some unrecognizable man, pressing one of his hands on her mouth. She instinctively tried to scream, her voice coming out muffled by that pesky hand; the cold steel of a blade now threatening her neck.

"Try making another sound and you're dead, alright?" the mysterious voice behind her spoke. She nodded with tears in her eyes. "Good". Fear took her again when she heard the sound of a zipper behind her, but due to her survival instincts she did her best to keep calm and let him have his way.

Some days after that dreadful night, Betty discovered she was pregnant. With that monster's kid. She tried to kill it in all the ways she could: drinking more, smoking more... but nothing. That baby survived to everything.

"Oh Betty I'm so happy for you! Who is the lucky man?" her friend Brittany would comment, making Betty cringe at her hand touching her swollen belly.

"Oh huh... I'm a single mother I guess... i-it was a mistake..." Betty replied.

"Oh..." Brittany walked away with a disgusted expression. This baby truly was a mistake.

On 14 november 1967, the waters broke and Betty got recovered in urgency to the nearest hospital. The pain she felt while giving birth to the child, the hatred she felt in hearing it crying, the disappointment she felt when hearing the nurse commenting on how healthy it was, meaning the abuse of alcohol and smoking truly did nothing.

"Congratulations ma'am, it's a boy!" the nurse said happily, holding the wailing baby and gently giving him into Betty's indifferent arms. Betty looked at him with a mix of rage and disgust, saying nothing.

The nurse awkwardly said "Huh, Mrs Philips... have you planned a name for him?"

Betty couldn't care less. She gave him the first name she could think of: "Trevor".

"Uhm, alright. Trevor Philips is it then!" the nurse smiled.

In the meanwhile Betty was thinking: she'd never seen again the unknown man in the shadows who assaulted her, and police would have never believed a dirty stripper's claims. But she had his baby now. By pure mistake. She was gonna get revenge like this: she couldn't make that man suffer, but she could do that to his seed, and make that seed understand how much of a literal mistake he has been.

Days and weeks passed. Trevor spent his days alone in his baby crib. Betty never cradled him nor gave him affection, she just fed him and changed his diapers, just to make him stop his annoying crying. Meanwhile, Betty started dating a man, Simon; a truly fantastic man, with a drinking habit but tons of money: he'd buy her jewelry and clothes, and she loved that and was happy with him. After a few time, she got pregnant again, and this time with Simon.

1975

Betty was in the living room sitting at the table smoking a cigarette, smiling at her son Ryan while he was reading an Impotent Rage comic, and Simon was just mindlessly watching TV on the couch and taking sips of Pisswasser.

"Mommy mommy look!" the voice Betty hated the most yelled; it was Trevor running happily towards her.

"What is it Trevor?" she said, not even looking in Trevor's direction. Not that Trevor minded, he was used to that anyway. But this time she was finally gonna be proud of him.

Trevor took out a handcrafted paper plane: "Look! My plane!"

Betty turned around unamused: "A plane?"

Ryan took his attention away from his comic and laughed: "You call that a plane?!"

Trevor ignored him and stayed focused on his creation with pride: "Yes a plane! When I grow up I'm gonna be a pilot and fly on these!"

Betty took her eyes away from the plane and returned smoking: "As if you're ever gonna be something big in your life...". Trevor's smile fell.

"No mom you're wrong!" Ryan yelled. Trevor's eyes went big: Ryan taking his defense for once? Ryan snatched the paper plane from his hand "Trevor's right! He's gonna fly on these indeed, just like this!" Ryan's hand tightened around the plane, crushing it in the process and reducing it to a ball, and threw it on the floor "Booom!!". Of course not, classic old Ryan.

"RYA-" Trevor stopped in his tracks when he saw dad turning his head to him with a glare like an owl preparing to attack his prey. He knew what that glare meant, it was the first sign that a beating was coming. Simon was kinda like a big silent monster; he never spoke to Trevor, he only beated him up when he was "misbehaving". He only heard him speak when he occasionally yelled at mom in one of his drunken fits.

"R-Ryan please..." Trevor spoke in a quieter voice now, doing everything he could to hide his anger.

Ryan made a fake grimace and started yelling "Mooom! Trevor is being mean!", as he was hugging Betty's legs.

Trevor was feeling terror taking over himself now "No! I wasn't... I didn't mean..."

"First you disappoint me, now you make your brother cry, is that how you thank your family for everything we do for you, you ungrateful brat?" Betty looked at him with dark eyes "...Simon... it's time we teach him a lesson...".

Trevor was now laying on his bed; his whole body was aching and trembling, tears and snot running down his face as he was hugging his pillow. It was the only thing he could hold onto, sometimes he wished the pillow could hug back. His tears stained face was turned to the window as he observed that beautiful starry night sky. He didn't care what Ryan said, or what his mother said. She is right about everything but not about this. Someday, he was going to make his dreams come true. He was going to become a pilot, the best one the world has ever seen. He was going to be free, flying in that wonderful sky.

[someonewhogotanaccount]

A Question (but not about a book)

Has it ever happened to you that you expect something to end badly, and then it ends even worse? And then you're just happier about the worse ending than you would've been about the bad/"better" ending? Maybe have been even grateful for it?

Because that happened to me about two weeks ago, and I'm curious if I'm the only one this has happened to.

I'm… not very good at sports. I've never been interested in it, and I've had bad experiences with some PE teachers/my former soccer team/a principal who thought he could judge my swimming skills better than trained lifeguards.

So I didn't have high expectations when our current PE teacher (he's a nice one :) said we would sprint. PE has always been my weakest subject, although I've even had a B on my school report in the last few years. And out of all the track and field disciplines, sprinting was always my favorite and somehow I even liked it, so I hoped that I would at least get a C.

I ran as fast as I could and tried my best. Went to the teacher and inquired about my time.

He said it didn't even show up on the scale anymore, that's how slow I had been. Hey, only said I liked sprint, never said I would be good in it. Long story short, I got a F, if that. For an nerd who gets almost straight A's (except in PE) on her report card and has to send that same report card to intimidating scholarship-managers (is that even a word?), that's a pretty big shock. My teacher and my best friend tried to cheer me up.

And I had to laugh. So freaking hard. Luckily not until I got home, but still. I would've been even more disappointed if I had gotten a C or D.

I just can't take this seriously. It's so funny to me that I even gave myself the nickname 'snail' because I'm so lame. I make jokes about it with my friend. My mom had to laugh too. Because of this terribly bad grade, I have a amusing story to tell my children about in the future. The more I think about it, the more thankful I become. That makes it even funnier. I mean, thankful for a F? The last proof that I'm either to optimistic or completely crazy ;).

Has anyone ever experienced something like this? That you end up grateful for a pretty crappy thing that happened?

Please tell me in the comments/tags/whatever :)

[tackyink]

Hello 🥰 here I come after 3 main quest and 543 side quests!! Just to give you commentary of the last chapter/jjjj

(I know you said I didn't have to obligatorily leave a comment, but I really enjoy it and feel a bit frustrated with myself if I promise/say something and end up not doing it ajshajsha I guess it's a matter of principle)

Uuhh, big spoilers ig if someone who hasn't already read last chapter does read this ????

KUWABARA MY LOVE! I love how you write him (who am I kidding, I love how you write the main cast, and the side characters and the antagonists and the—) like, he is so sweet?? But also very impulsive. Which ends up being very endearing if not a bit embarrassing (but like, second hand and not by a lot). I can relate to his want to have his favourite series finished, but also that Wakaba's agency is shitty and they treated her like,, real bad.

On the other hand I feel so bad for Wakaba :( I imagine that if you end up doing a series you want to end it the best way possible so the fact that she had to sacrifice years of work just because her agency did what they did... I hope she can finish it--

The whole chapter was super nice and the pacing was good, in the sense that it felt imminent that the secret was going out. I liked a lot the way Kurama was a bit flustered (I guess, with Kurama being Kurama?) when Kuwabara went barging in lol

Also!!! THE GIRLIES ARE HERE. I love them. Togashi should have given them so much more screentime!!!! Yukina my beloved aaaaa I'm looking forward to the shenanigans now that they are there.

But for the most shocking part of the chapter (for me) HIEI. SHORT KING. I truly wasn't expecting him at all?? I knew you would introduce him at some point but I definitely didn't think it would be in that chapter, you were truly spoiling us. He came all the way because he was worried about Yukina, and Wakaba's first and only reaction after all that had happened to her that week was: Do I get another futon?

She has me rolling ajshajsha there is something about deadpan characters = comedic relief that's very true. I think it's the essence of your characters, being effortlessly funny without trying lol I'm always happy when I read one of your stories 💞

I don't have much more to say, I was saving some comments for the ao3 but I don't think I will make it before you update the next one lolol uni's tfg is killing me already in October, I don't want to see myself in May ajsgajsvshws oTL

Anyways if I remember anything else I wanted to comment on, I will send you another ask filled with love 🫶

I hope you have a super nice next week!!! 🤗

Full disclosure, I've been having a couple of crappy weeks health wise and haven't worked on ALC since I posted chapter 6, but in the spirit (haha see what I did there) of the holiday I promise I'm going to spend the afternoon of the 31st and the 1st editing just so you can read it before you graduate also holy shit, where has time gone???

You know, you've made realize parallels between this and the situations that pop up in fandoms when someone involved in production is revealed to have done something awful. I think it's natural to go "NOOO MY BLORBOS" when you're invested, those feelings can't come at the expense of the people who've been harmed, and Kuwabara's 100% the type to prioritize people, no matter how disappointed he may be. I would be gutted if I were in Wakaba's shoes as well - nobody wins in this situation, except the publishing house that's raking it in thanks to the controversy.

I feel she's getting better though, having so many people around and a mystery to unravel hasn't left her a lot of time to be miserable. Another unexpected guest? Sure, whatever, she'll set up another bed, what difference will it make at this point. Maybe this will end up being a blessing in disguise. Maybe.

Thanks so much as always for sending these asks. ❤ They make my day every time. Best of luck with that TFG!

[dreamsinfiction]

June/July 2024 recap (aka the months that I was in utter burnout but not realising it)

According to Tumblr, it's been 9 weeks since I last wrote a recap. Hahahaha. Damn, I did not realise my burnout was that long. This was something which I talked about with my sups last month during my performance appraisal - how I'm the type of person who will just trudge on and get the work done, not realising how my mental health was during those dark-ish times until months later when I will inevitably feel slightly better (because like all things, life is a cycle) and then reflect on how crappy the past few months had been. But I'm getting ahead of myself. I'll get to how September went in another review!

For now, let's try to recap June and July as best as I could remember them but still not putting pressure on myself about how things should be perfect because that will just lead me to crippling inaction like how Christy best described it here:

Highlights of June/July (not in chronological order):

a) Making online Korean friends! - Went on HelloTalk mainly to make writing Korean a habit but of course people will interact with my Moments (posts) and we'll get talking in chats/comments. HT is a bit like online dating where you have to be wary of the people you interact with online since they may be scammers or pervs. But I've made a few online friends since then and one of them is Soyoung! We've gotten quite close since we have a few mutual interests (like F1 and rooting for Ferrari heh) and honestly talking to a native helps me a lot in retaining new words and being slowly more confident to speak in Korean hehe. I'm looking forward to meeting her (and her husband lol) in Daegu in Dec! Which brings me to...

b) Deciding to go on language immersion - IT. IS. FINALLY. HAPPENING. After thinking about it for a long while, I've decided to go all in and am going for a 2-week immersion course to Korea in late-Nov/early Dec! The pros tipped the cons for this one. Pros: Finally getting to scratch off my bucket list to go on exchange / live in a different country for a while (since I didn't manage to go on exchange in uni cos money was tight), the privilege of having adult money, good health, lower family commitments, and a lot of leave (thanks COVID?) to go on such a trip at this moment in time, exploring a city at my OTOT. Cons: Costing a lot of money hahaha (mostly because worldwide inflation is real so accoms are quite ex in Seoul now but I also wanted to treat myself and stay a few days at the end of my trip in a 5-star hotel I've been to previously heh). I've settled all the pre-payments for the trip so it's really just waiting for go time now (still sorting out my day-to-day itinerary but also keeping it flexi in case of class assignments to catch up on / classmates wanting to hang out after class etc. But my weekends are fully booked travelling all over Korea! 😛)

c) Work milestones

(i) Conducted my first Focus Group Discussion for work-related policy announcements from start till finish ie. coordinating participants, conducting the actual session, putting all the views together and coming up with recommendations in response to them (I was such a nervous wreck prepping for it but my bosses afterwards told me I actually did quite well phew)

(ii) Organised the quarterly division HLS (healthy lifestyle) activity - We picked group painting which tbh I thought would be so boring but it was actually fun! Because of our limited budget, the art studio we went to was in Textile Centre, a pretty dodgy shopping mall left behind by the times (there were "masseuses" outside the line of shops wearing very suggestive clothing at 12pm lol), and the corridor leading to the art studio was straight out of a horror movie hahaha. But I'm so happy everyone really had fun painting their pieces (with much guidance from the facilitators) and relieved to be passing on secretariat duties to the next group since my quarter was over hahaha.

The aforementioned creepy corridor (left) and our final piece (right) - not too bad if I say so myself!

(iii) Volunteer Fest - Helped out as a gig worker for this one; mainly to have some marcomms experience under my belt (since I'm still keen to go to CPD for my next posting) but also to have more things to write in my performance appraisal HAHA. I think it worked out! The main team was so on the ball that the gig workers didn't have much to do except for the initial managing of stakeholders and turning up on the actual event weekend to make sure everything went smoothly.

(iv) Malaysia Journalist Visit Programme - Another thing that I helped out with! Supposed to do the translations for the key fireside chat but the GOH ended up speaking wholly in English that the only thing that needed translation was: shiok sendiri (local lingo for being full of yourself; don't ask me the context of how this came up HAHA). But it was still fun putting my rusty MR skills to use in managing the journalists, ensuring the event space was well set up, and doing up the final transcript.

Me: Farah, I'm at OTH for the JVP but am an hour early.

Farah: Okay I'll drive down (she lives in Pasir Ris) and have lunch with you.

Hahahaha I love having sporting colleagues!

d) Social gatherings - Continued with Badminton as a habit whenever the courts were in the West (still not a pro player but I enjoy it as a form of exercise) and went for my first social bookclub! Chinyi invited me to the Quiet Readers' Club, something that she co-organised with Irma and I didn't expect myself to feel so at home at the first session 🥹 It's basically an hour or so of quiet reading and the next hour is spent going round sharing what book you're reading and if you would recommend to others (whilst having coffee / cafe food). I'm definitely making progress with my New Year's resolution to be more social in the things I like hehe.

Commemorating the month where Bukit Gombak Sports Hall finally revamped their badminton court / MPH hahaha the floor is so shiny new now.

I also went swimming! Tried out the supposedly waterproof function on my iWatch too but tldr it is a scam hurhur. SG's weather is too humid so the waterproof rubber sealant wears down pretty fast and the water was too much for my 4-year-old watch. Apple said my watch would deteriorate over time but after putting it in rice overnight it started working again! And still hanging strong some 3 months later lol.

e) Fangirl things

(i) Went to Byeon Wooseok's fanmeeting - In all the years I've attended concerts/fanmeets, this was the first time I honestly felt robbed of my money. The entire thing was so poorly organised - no directions of where to queue to collect your wristbands or bag checks when you're in the hall, the seats were so far for something I paid $2XX for, the show started an hour late with no explanation whatsover (this being a Korean fanmeet is even more appalling since they are known to start on time), the emcee was literally reading off his cue cards and it was clear he hadn't watched Lovely Runner at all, and the Hi-Bye session was basically a scam cos there was a flashlight aimed straight at our eyes (to prevent recordings I guess but wow so rude) that we couldn't even see Wooseok waving bye to us wtf. I made a whole TT which went viral hahahaha. The only saving grace was Wooseok himself - he did his best to perform and build some rapport with the robotic emcee huhu.

Credit: HallyuSG

(ii) Attended an author sharing! - Welcome to the Hyunam-dong Bookshop is one of favourite reads this year; a cosy book on building your own bookshop cafe (literally my only dream in life) but also about the regulars, the staff and their life stories. I really enjoyed it a lot. So when I found out the author and translator (who is a Singaporean and an amazing polyglot) were coming to town for a book tour, of course I jumped on the chance to attend! Sya also came and we both had a great time listening to the sharing and the questions asked. It was also an impromptu Korean listening practice lol though Sya caught on to more of the words than me hahaha.

(iii) Went for Hady Mirza's concert - Okay this is more to accompany my mom since she's a longtime fan hahaha. Still fun tho! He had quite a few guests on stage too and they can all sing their hearts out. I love attending a Malay-centric concert - confirm kecoh (chaotic but in a good way) and everyone letting loose hahaha.

And that brings me to the end of the bimonthly wrap up! I think it's gone on long enough hahaha. Will get to Aug/Sept recap sooooon~

[north-park]

Always speaking about the BLU commentary, a little serious note but this pseudo-podcast actually gives you a better look at who Trey&Matt actually are and that they are not above the critics like they seem at all

The context it's pretty noteworthy bc SP as show was about die for good after s2 flopped, and the movie was pretty much the nail on coffin, and to make this worse the SW prequels were what every single human being, and, most importantly, nerds, were thinking about that summer, the expectation for the "South Park Movie" were below the ground and even Trey&Matt didn't had huge hopes for it which is why they actually went ALL OUT for this project which unironically helped them to shape it exactly like they wanted

They conclude by saying that the movie itself never gave them money back but it didn't mattered because the critics loved that fucking South Park movie enough to save the brand, and Matt even snarkly remarked "oh why did they think the movie would be bad?", while Trey said that back then, if they axed it at point he would have been satisfied anyway because even if SP became just a flash in the pan he still made a very popular TV cartoon, a movie and got to live in Hollywood, but you can really see how they geniunely wanted to be seen as real cartoonists and why they put everything they had in that movie, and why they actually slighty regretted That trick they pulled at the Oscars for making them look like idiots lmao

In the podcast most of their "critics" towards their movie was mostly directed towards the animation itself being kinda crappy and the errors they made trought it like in the hospital scene, the doctors' clothes being the same color of the walls, and commenting how a bunch the really, really hard shots they had ask help to make now could be made by them in less than a week, asking themself if it's because their technology improved or if it's them that got better at their jobs or both :,)

And speaking of hard to make shots they say back in the day crowd scenes were very complex to make until recently but that they needed to fit every single character like Chef or Mackey to be the bus driver or something, and that nowdays it would be impossible for them because there are Too Many Characters and they would need to cut a lot of them sadly, even commenting how weird is it for this movie to not even Butters in it (oh so does him carrying the Resistance's flag and falling like a dork means nothing to you? Ok fake fans smh)?

What i'm getting at is that M&T are very much more serious at their job and about them and their work to be seen seriously and a real form of art even if crass and satirical, which is probably why some parts like characterization and relationships are always so well crafted, because they are very serious about their show to MEAN something to people and leave them with something to reflect on once it's over

Also you can really feel they regret Baseketball and Team America sp much Holy Shit i almost feel bad for them

[the-ominous-owl]

hi friends! has canon got you down? are you sad about the lack of ladies kissing ladies? why not go read the next chapter of agentcorp!au! 

i’m not saying it’s better, but it’s a different kind of ouch, an ouch of a different flavour if you will, so that might be fun. 

Rapidly, it goes like this, with Alex clinging tightly to her sister as they swoop down over the waterfront and through the massive sea door of the target warehouse. The space inside is dark and cavernous, echoing with the sounds of the water flowing in and out through the broken sea doors, lapping sullenly at the ramp that disappears up into the gloomy interior. It smells of rust and diesel and brine, and the faint glow of the city reflecting off the clouds and the ocean and through the high windows isn’t enough to cast more than a sliver of ruddy light against the massive stack of shipping containers that have been left there to rust. Kara swoops in high among the rafters and sets them down in the gantry, dropping silently onto the metal walkway, easing them down and wincing when the metal creaks under their weight. She gives Alex a moment to find her feet before she releases her, then points towards the smaller rooms nestled against the far wall, probably old offices or storage rooms.

“There are voices coming from over there,” she breathes into Alex’s ear, and now she’s said it, Alex can faintly hear them too.

“Can you see them?” Alex asks, her voice barely above a whisper, aware that any sound they make will echo endlessly in the vast space.

Kara shakes her head. “There’s too much metal in here, it’s making everything fuzzy. There’s at least five of them, though.”

“Okay. I’ll find Lena. You take care of the bad guys,” Alex murmurs, and Kara frowns at her for a moment but then nods.

“Be careful,” she cautions. “This building is old and not very stable. If I start bursting through walls to get to you, it’s gonna collapse.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. Stay safe.”

“You too,” Kara echoes, sweeping Alex into a quick, tight hug before she takes off, rapidly disappearing into the gloom.

keep reading on AO3

[eyes-eye-eyes]

Wilbur somehow ended up helping Philza, the owner of the house make food for his children.

The two of them got along so well, that Wilbur almost forget that he had once hidden from them.

However, he would be reminded why, on one night.

Wilbur began tiredly stirring at the giant frypan full of sauce with a giant wooden spoon, Philza had given him.

He could hear Philza laughing at him asking if he need help, Wilbur's response was

"No, no, I got this Phil."

Unfortunately, he did not have it, as the giant spoon slipped from his grip, causing the slightly warm liquid to splash at him.

He hissed in surprise.

"Fuck."

He tried to wipe it off his skin quickly but only created an even bigger mess.

He stopped as he felt eyes staring at him he looked up to see Philza staring down at him.

The starring made Wilbur nervous and he quickly blurted out.

"Ah, sorry Phil."

It was quiet for a brief second before Philza laughed stating

"It's alright accidents happen mate."

Wilbur let out a breath of relief in response, which was quickly short-lived as he felt something quickly wrap around his small frame.

He stared down at his waist and quickly looked back up at Philza.

"Phil?" He asked confused.

Philza didn't even speak a word, and Wilbur felt himself roughly moving up, a hot gust of air hit his body, and Wilbur starred terrified as the mouth widely opened saliva dripping from teeth.

He didn't move as he stared deep into the cavern-like mouth, and he was able to see the dark tunnel that would drag his small body into an inescapable place.

Wilbur snapped out of his terrified trances, he started panickily thrashing around, trying to push himself up and out of the grip

"Shit!"

He shouldn't have trusted them, he should have left when he was spotted.

His thoughts of self-pity and anger were suddenly stopped as something wet hit his body, he had felt a large slimy thing begin to his entire body coating him in stickiness, as the tongue licked him, he felt the strong muscle push his body up and down.

He closed his eyes tightly he wanted to cry, Philza was licking him up to make sure he would go down easier, he was gonna die, he was going to be eaten by someone he shouldn't trust and-

Suddenly the licking stopped and his legs now touched a solid surface and weren't dangling in a grip.

"Done," Philza said cheerfully.

"What?" He muttered with fear mixed with disbelief.

Philza licked his lips and held his chin in thought.

"You know mate you made the sauce taste so much better."

"It's so sweet." He added.

Wilbur didn't respond to shock at what just happened and what was just said.

Philza didn't seem to notice this reaction continuing to speak.

"I think you just helped me figure out what's wrong with the sauce."

Wilbur didn't know what to do, he just stood there frozen well Philza happily continued to cook away.

Philza wouldn't have a clue that his little one of comment would stick with the borrower for weeks.

(Sorry if it's crappy I rushed it, and I'm a bit rusty at writing, sorry for any spelling mistakes, you can edit it as you please, also I'll probably notice more mistakes later.)

Edit: THIS IS SO FUCKING GOOD!!!! LITERALLY EXACTLY WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT!!!

[sheisbeautyweareworldass]

Hi. I'm sending this to you because I feel like you being also a Latam Louie you would understand what I'm going through at the moment and also because I feel like some of the non-Latam Louies would probably shoot first and then ask questions later because they won't understand and would try to defend Louis at all cost. I know this is probably not Louis' or even Joshua's fault, this is probably LTHQ just being LTHQ, like I'm not really blaming Louis and Joshua but I really believe Latam deserved better. Like, Louis spend his days in Latam saying how much he loves us and everyone else did and continues to do the same but the only thing they gave us were two very short (and kind of crappy, sorry) IGTVs and no YouTube video, like it's been days and still no YouTube video, like sure is definitely gonna be shorter than the others but I'll still like to see it. I'm not blaming Josh because the guy was probably just trying something new and that's why the format for the Latam IGTVs is a bit different than the others and I don't blame Louis either because maybe he wanted everyone to truly enjoy their time in Latam and some footage might be missing because the camera wasn't recording but I'm going through it, you know. Like, I'm even starting to believe some of the xenophobic comments. I'm really having some dark thoughts and is probably just LTHQs fault but I'm going through it. I've been going through it since we got that IGTV, it kinda made me comfortable since day one. I don't know how to explain it but I hope you can understand and I hope no one comes for me, they're just my feelings and I'm allow to have those, aren't I? Like, I know Louis and his team probably don't know about the hate Latam got but their approach post-Latam is kinda making me believe the hate. I guess we Latam Louies are just mentally exhausted after everything that happened and this situation isn't helping it, you know? Sorry for the rant, I just needed to share this with someone.

oi, amor! i'm going to avoid my finals for a few minutes to answer you as you deserve because i can assure you that you're not alone in how you're feeling (fun fact: i had a similar rant about this with a friend of mine and i was also not feeling comfortable with sharing publicly because i was afraid of any potential backlash, but as it is..... i believe you, me and any other latam louies are entitled to feel like this).

you're being waaaay more lenient than me, i can't let louis out of the hook on this one. joshua is his employee, people behind lthq are his employees. they respond to him - louis can and should be able to tell them to do their job. i can't bring myself to believe in the whole "trying a new format" thing either, sorry. in the way it looks to me, it just seemed like they weren't in the mood to post an igtv for every 3-5 shows (like they did for the other legs) and decided to compile 6 countries and 12 shows in 6 minutes. in other words, it felt lazy. not to mention disrespectful and unprofessional as well - they were late for weeks (!).

as for the xenophobic comments, i ask you to please don't listen to them. people who said that only used louis as a gateway to express their hate and bigotry. i think the igtv reflects a lot of the issues with louis (for example, sometimes it seems like we're more worried about his career than he is, since the lack of consistency annoys us but it seems to not be a problem to him), but not even once did i think it meant that he hates us. i know those dark thoughts are hard to get rid of (especially when, as a latina, you're used to people making you feel bad for even existing), but don't give that igtv (or the lack of) more power than it has. we can always focus on what he said on stage more than his social media activity when searching for validation and comfort.

with that being said, latin america and asia deserved better. i don't know if the laziness is because they're getting tired of being on tour, if it's sheer unprofessionalism or something else, but fans are allowed to complain and we're not obliged to blindly support and love everything louis does - especially not when we think it's wrong. you shouldn't feel bad about having those feelings and, as i said before, you're not alone on that.

[bri-does-art]

I’ve been wanting to leave a comment on ao3 for Call of the Abyss for awhile now but I am a huuuuuge coward. So I’ll just say it here instead with the safety of anon :P

But this fic is genuinely amazing. I’ve never really liked reading but your story has me hooked. Things don’t feel rushed at all, everything is properly fleshed out and never dragged on. It’s a wonderful combination of comedy and dread as well! I enjoy the writing style and how detailed it is. I adore the banter MC has with Helpy. I love the funny little moments they have with sun as well. And I really appreciate how you give little tibits of info on crewmates even though we probably will never will get to see some of them. Hearing that Jeremy played American Pie (one of my favorite songs) and cherished their guitar just made him seem all the more real. I’m not sure if what I’m saying is making sense. Moving on now, you had me on the edge of my seat when Sun and MC encountered the sickly bunny looking fish dude. I’m guessing they’re supposed to be the glitchtrap of this au? Apologies if I’m wrong. Ether way I was spooked but couldn’t stop reading, I just had to know if the thing would attack them (thank god it didn’t though lol). And noice moons finally made an appearance >:D Though I am pretty curious to know if the whole ship crashing thing now was just part of some big scheme. Usually most fnaf fics will just sum it up to Fazbears just being a crappy company but you went all out with giving the ship crash more depth. Honestly I can’t wait to see more, you’re the reason why I refresh my email on the daily lmao. Keep up the good work

Oh, lovely nonny, I don't understand why you're so scared! Am I that intimidating? :'DD

But, I appreciate you reaching out in a way that fits your comfort level, or else I would have never gotten your wonderful comment! <3 Gosh, I don't even know where to begin, all of it had me staring at my screen with a big ol' smile and/or wiggling happily.

Don't worry, you've made perfect sense! No matter how minor a character is, I like giving them little things that help make them feel a little more alive you know? (Or, well, that they were once alive in the case of most characters in CotA, haha...) Not just a two dimensional caricature, but someone who you could run into in the street, you feel?

Hey, don't apologize, it's fine! I did leave it a little ambiguous and vague (as I do a lot of things in this fic), so don't feel bad for guessing wrong sometimes, it's part of the fun of writing/reading a mystery ;) I love reading all the guesses and speculations my readers make based on the trail of crumbs I'm peppering in the text, it's honestly one of the best parts of writing this fic. The sickly bunny fish person is actually meant to be a Withered Bonnie! But, to be fair to you, there are so many bunnies in FNAF, lmao. Only outnumbered by all the bears 😂 I used to get them all mixed up. I suppose with the description I used, it could easily work as well as a messed up version of Burntrap! But, in the plans I made, it is officially Withered Bonnie!

Oh, we are only beginning to scratch the surface when it comes to the crash... All I can say is, hold on to your hat, nonny. :))

"you’re the reason why I refresh my email on the daily" Oh. Oh no. Listen, I am flattered, truly! But please don't do this to yourself x'D I'm an adult with a full time job, a very slow writer, and I write massive 10k chapters on average, there is always going to be several weeks in between each updates! You're only setting yourself up for repeated disappointment!

Again, thank you so much for your amazing commentary, it made me smile all day while at work, and I think it'll keep making me smile as I work on the next chapter with renewed motivation :D Please, don't be afraid to leave a comment on AO3, you can only make an author's day better~ If not, then my inbox is always open to you, lovely nonny!

[slytherinsjennie]

I will be honest with you: I don't think a second season is happening, or rather, shouldnt happen, at least NOT with the staff S1 had.

Obviously, this woman either hated Black's character (which is what I honestly think) or is too inept to have a good script making sense, OOC moments or without many MANY plot holes, I'm not sure the director is clear of any fault in this but at least 40% the blame goes to her.

So no, I don't think we are getting it, and if we do, I wont be watching cause they obviously dislike Black a lot, I already said this weeks ago after ep 12, but I need to repeat it:

They stripped Black of all he had, I havent even watched this episode but fans' reactions about the lack of Black + the gang (yet again) giving 0 craps about him after he saved their asses last week + White priorizing Sean again (the way they forced White's character to ignore Black in favor of Sean threw me off the ship, sorry not sorry) + him being a loner now (when HE formed the gang????), it just screams to my face that they just dont like Black and pushed a million bad narratives, lack of screentime (cause 'they had to fit all in 14 eps' yet somehow irrelevant scenes -looking at GramGene- made it to the cut!) and isolation just to make fans dislike him.

A second season would fix nothing, and yet again this show was coming for my #1 spot till around ep 7, cause thats when they started to villanize the character that everyone had sweet words for since ep 1. This was rushed and handled like crap, so, so many plot holes.

Also, I saw NO ONE commenting on them revealing the twin connection, what happened to Black, when did Black come back, etc. A mess, really, a huge mess for a show that could have done waaay better had it had better staff, cause this aint on the actors, crappy writing is on the script writers. Period.

[feathersandthorns]

SGE Movie Thoughts

I've been avoiding tumblr since Wednesday morning to avoid spoilers, but I finally finished the movie! Now I'm not a movie critic or even a huge contributor to this fandom other than an occasional crappy fanfic, but I thought I'd share some thoughts before looking at anyone else's, starting with some positives.

I must admit that despite being hyped for the movie to come out, I was fully prepared to be disappointed. I've seen some terrible adaptations in the past (specifically the Percy Jackson one but there are others), and paired with the constant negative comments I was seeing, I was hopeful but skeptical. But in a lot of ways, I was pleasantly surprised. The visuals were absolutely AMAZING, from the attention to detail in the costumes and makeup to the CGI of the mythical creatures. The humor and cheesiness from the book was definitely portrayed well, but not overdone. I also feel like all of the characters, even ones who were more of background characters in the movie, really embodied their characters in the way they talked and acted, but also in their general presence. Sophie was dramatic and vain, Agatha was sarcastic and obsessively wanted to find Sophie and get home near the beginning (I'll take a step further and say that I enjoyed her character arc a little bit more in the movie as it was kind of convoluted in its message in the book), Tedros was egotistical for show but was actually just trying to find someone genuine in the hellhole that is the school for good... And I could continue. Overall, despite a couple of plot changes, the air and characters of the movie really matched the book well.

This is not to say that the movie didn't have flaws. There were two things that really bothered me about it, the first being that it was incredibly fast paced. I feel like the plot was constantly turning on its head as it tried to fit in all of the important plot points, making some character interations seem a bit forced and didn't make much sense with the character; for example, Tedros deciding to be with Sophie like a day after he had that moment with Agatha, and Hester choosing to ally with Sophie after Sophie nearly killed her a few weeks before. The explanations for these things didn't make much sense in the book, but at least there was explanations. And this issue brings me to the second one, which is more of a me problem than an actual problem with the movie. I feel like side characters like Beatrix, Kiko, and Hester didn't really get a lot of time to develop. Now this particularly stood out to me because I have the most interest in the side characters, which is why I wish they had more screen time. But in trying to fit so much plot into a 2 and 1/2 hour long movie, some good character moments were lost for the sake of moving the plot along. I really hope the movie is successful so we can possibly see more development for these characters in the second installment. I almost feel like it would have been better as a show, but that probably would've been at the cost of the awesome special effects and sets, so I suppose there are pros and cons either way.

Overall, however, I think it was executed well in many ways, and I'm excited for the second movie! (And did anyone else notice the Soman cameo in the bit before the Trial XD)