#i'm gonna go so fucking broke again
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what a fucking day (derogatory)
#the hotel we live in is being shut down#even though we were previously told that the contract runs out in september#i'll have to start renting a room#for which i am not financially ready at all#i spent so much to start my transition this month#i'm gonna go so fucking broke again#my next paycheck is only on the 11th 😭
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not to be weird and sappy on main, but frfr i'm so glad i have found a community of people who think my work is good
#talking#to the tags if you want the longer rant that maybe i'll talk about fully one day#tl;dr when i was in hs i was with my ex that i think ive mentioned like once or twice#there was a lot of shit wrong with that relationship and us and me at the time#but the thing that happened after we broke up which was the worst was her saying i was passionless#because in her mind i wasn't 'trying hard enough'#didn't help that she was super talented in art (even if thinking about it now its way too disney for my taste tbh)#and seemingly had her life together bc she had a super cool supportive mom#(wish i could've gotten her in the divorce tm)#and tbh that haunted me for YEARS#i stopped drawing for years after being with her#i didn't really pick up drawing HARD again until 2020#and i didn't really work on many of my own wips#just kinda poked at the ashes of the wips i got in the divorce (which funnily enough i don't use anymore. used the ocs but not the plots)#i was just so fucked up about it#but seeing y'all comment that you like my writing and my art#having people say that my worldbuilding is fire and passionate#idk it heals the part of me that died that day#so thank you all from the bottom of my soul#whenever y'all are kind enough to compliment me the hole mends even more#so idk i was just thinkin about it like bro the difference between me then and now is night and day#in part to all my lovely friends and mutuals#so yeah idk thank u i'm gonna go back in me corner again
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just realizing now there are only eleven days left before i leave for my trip holy shit??? first solo trip that is more than a couple days (i'm leaving for 15 days), first time in europe/outside of north america, first time without my cats for so long, it's gonna be fdslksdfjbdklfsjdfskjbd. i'm very excited and nervous and antsy!! i need to finalize all the planning omg.
#i'm going there absolutely broke since this was planned before i lose my job but whatever lmao i have credit cards 😬💀#i'll get a job again soonish it'll be fiiiiiiine#mostly i just gonna call for my travel insurance and get an esim card#and smartly plan outfits!!!!#very fucking excited to meet ann in london and then abigail in lisbon <3#we're gonna have so much fun#and of course we're gonna watch 7x09 together!!!#shut up alie
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When your friend needs you to be there to comfort them, but you have no energy for serious conversations and so you're stuck wondering if youre being a selfish asshole or if youre justified in not wanting to be the one to sort their problems out
#vent#its not like they didnt offer to hear my problems. but i just dont want to talk about. or anything#i dont want serious conversations. i dont want to have to worry about other people. i just cant.#im just so fucking exhausted and i dont know if its talking to them and feeling drained by the fact that theyre going through something-#-and that i need to be the therapist or if im just sick. again.#plus yesterday i slept late. my mum made me cry (i think she was just tired out by that point in the day so i doubt it was personal)#and just#im fucking tired ok#and I'm sorry im a bad friend#i just dont have energy. i want to have good energy around me to try give me some.#but when theyre upset it gets into me and drains me and I've been there as much as i can but i just cant right now. im too tired#i know im a shitty person but literally everyone got to be a shitty person at my expense so isnt it my fucking turn?#and then assuming i was acting like that to hurt them. I DO NOT WANT TO HURT ANYONE. IF WE HAVE A FIGHT I WANT TO MOVE ON.#I'm not gonna be caught up in it if we resolved it#but yeah. long story short they're going through shit and i feel like shit#and i think them going through shit is what makes me feel like shit. because i worry about them#and they can lash out on me#i just dont know anymore. i dont know if im an awful person or not#last year i broke up with a friend and my mum said I'll do the same with the next friend#it wasnt my fault#that friend ghosted me#im trying not to be her rn too and im scared that ive been in the wrong im scared im a shitty person too#but at the same time im too done to even really care#i just wanna stop fucking feeling all this and just get on with my day
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for months now i have had this little story idea bouncing around in my head for an AU of Jetpack Joyride where Barry is stuck inside a big expermental time loop conducted by Legitimate Research to create an army of randomly selected time-travelling soldiers. the idea is very much still rough and i dunno if and when i'll develop it into a bigger thing, but it's a pretty cool idea and it's a twist on the JJ game that i've never really seen much exploration on.
basically, it focuses on Barry, who is the sort of Patient Zero of an experimental concentrated time-fuckery technology LR is working on. every single day, at exactly the same time, Barry goes out to work his salesman job, discovers the jetpack, breaks into the laboratory, takes it for a joyride, eventually gets hit by an obstacle and dies. the next day, Barry goes out to work his salesman job, discovers the jetpack, breaks into the lab, takes it for a joyride and dies. and he does the same exact thing the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day... he's pretty much stuck in a loop of the exact same events happening repeatedly every single day, and he has absolutely no idea about it. that is, until there's a glitch in the system, and Barry progressively becomes a lot more suspicious and paranoid about the situation he's in. the rest of this post is gonna be REALLY spoilery (like i literally just explain big important chunks of the story for several paragraphs) if i ever make this into a full-fledged fanfic, so i'm gonna put it under a keep reading thingy. also it is... quite long and convoluted lol.
as the story goes on, it focuses more on the mental degredation of Barry as he starts uncovering all these weird clues, slowly trying to piece together what's going on and driving himself insane, because every time a reset occurs, his memory of the previous loop ever happening is completely wiped and everything he did that day goes all the way back to square one. since the malfunctioning of LR's technology though, Barry has been getting little nuggets of deja vu and half-remembered fragments of dying before a reset. this eventually becomes him repeating things to himself, little phrases and codes over and over and over in hopes that it will persist into the next reset. this eventually becomes symbols stuck up on the walls of his room and then progresses to entire rituals to help him remember and little behaviourisms like tics and stims to let him know he's in another loop. he becomes more and more panicked and unsettled, paranoid that someone - or something - is watching him closely. additionally, he keeps having disturbing dreams in the early hours of the morning before he gets up to go to work, ones that are symbolic and prophetic, as if they're trying to warn him about something. i've had concepts of him waking up on top of a pile of millions of mangled carcasses that all look exactly like Barry, and having on them them forcefully grab onto his leg and pull him down with the rest of them. it's kinda like the nightmare Woody has in Toy Story 2, but like, dead guys everywhere, lol.
the backstory of this whole thing is kinda insane. basically, Legitimate Research is a sketchy government funded facility that's doing secret time experiments to create the strongest beings for a purpose that's somewhat similar to Brains' Zomb Bomb plan from AOZ (i haven't fully decided yet). Barry is someone who has been randomly selected for their newest version of the concentrated time loop experiment, where patients will be put under looping tests to extract data about their strength, agility and performance and decide what they need to supplement them with in order to create the perfect soldier.
Barry was 22 years old when he was selected. he was actually a relatively normal local Fish N' Chips vendor living in New South Wales, but one day, when he recieved an exciting letter in the mail about a new ambitious job opportunity, he completely disappeared without a trace and seemed to have been entirely erased from the minds of everyone he had ever known. Barry had actually been kidnapped and ensnared into a mind-experiments facility of the laboratory, where they proceeded to wipe his mind, proof of his existence and his entire personhood up to this point, and replaced all of it with fake memories to fill in the gaps. he was then placed in stasis and to be injected with high doses of strength drugs as they crafted a new life for him behind the scenes. a new house, in a new state, all with new stories and memorabilia meant to be lived out by new person. now, he was Barry Steakfries in Queensland, a rough-around-the-edges guy with a passion for action movies and destruction. he was a revel with a thirst for chaos and freedom, but he just didn't have the means to achieve it yet. it was all according to plan.
a big part of the story i want to tell that involves him is that at some point, Barry tries to break free from the time loop by doing something different. this takes a lot of pre-planning, memory rituals and repeating details to himself, but after he wakes up from a reset and gets out of bed, he hesitates, choosing to go to a different place to sell his gramophones that day. he deliberately tries his best to avoid Legitimate Research's headquarters as much as he can, and while he doesn't completely remember why he's doing it, he has a deep gut feeling that he should stay away from them at all costs. so he does. and at first, it goes well. the day is different, his choices seem to actually matter and for once, the feeling of deja vu isn't tearing him apart... until a crazy freak accident happens that forces Barry to die and reset the time loop again, wiping away everything he had done that day. Legitimate Research is now forcefully trying to stop him from knowing what the hell is going on by forcing him to die with each now discovery he makes, and Barry has to figure out more and more creative solutions to averting their surveillance and trying to get the hell out of the loop.
Craig will also be involved with the story too!! i'm not exactly sure what exactly the events leading up to Barry discovering and meeting him would be, but it'd be kinda halfway-late-ish into the story where Barry manages to cut off LR's surveillance of him, breaks into the laboratory and searches through its archives for anything relating to time. during this raid, he accidentally discovers the true Patient Zero to this time experiment: a broken, decrepit shell of a man who has been hooked up to a set of wires and locked away deep into the laboratory, never meant to be discovered by anyone, only known simply as #000 'Craig'. Craig was the very first human they used to run an early prototype of these experiments, but through malfunctions in the threads of LR's technology, he ended up knowing too much and tried to break free from his time loop, which resulted in him being dragged out of reality and becoming completely detached from his own time, stopping his aging process completely and practically allowing him to exist forever and persistently through every reset unaffected. LR relocated him and considered him a catastrophic failure, locking him away in a cell deep in the bowels of the laboratory before destroying and erasing every archive of him ever having existed in any point in time. and now, the same thing is about to happen to Barry if he doesn't figure out a way to stop what's happening quickly. Barry, outisde of LR, is the only one who is aware of Craig's existence in this timeline. Barry makes a vow to make sure that he will never ever forget Craig, no matter what happens to him, no matter how many times his timeline gets reset, because he is the only other person on the whole world who truly understands what he's going through.
at the very end of the story, when Barry finally escapes the time loop and is about to enter into a new reality where none of this ever happened, he reaches out a hand to Craig and offers he come with him to live. Craig, however, rejects the offer, sadly confessing to Barry that because of his disconect from the threads of time progression itself, Craig must stay behind and be erased along with everything inside this one and let Barry live his life. Barry protests, insisting that his life wouldn't be complete without him and that they've already gone through so much together, but Craig assures him that this is the best for the both of them, and that Barry must leave him soon before the window to escape closes. Barry gives Craig once last goodbye, holding him close and basking in his presence for the final time. he closes his eyes, presses his head against Craig's and whispers "I promise I'll never forget you." before he slowly lets him go, not breaking their locked gaze on each other for even a second as he steps into the portal and ventures into an entirely new reality, never to return.
i want there to be an epilogue part where Barry starts his new life and goes looking for a place to stay, and he comes across the place where LR used to be, which is instead occupied with a big square fence plot and a sign that says "UNDER CONSTRUCTION: NEW RESTAURANT TO BE BUILT". Barry stares at it for a moment and reflects on everything that has happened. all the hellish experiments that were once held inside this very plot of land, all the trauma he went through to get to this point, Craig's sacrifice, everything has lead up to him standing here, in the right place, at the right time, to finally live the life he should've had to begin with. eventually, he turns away, continuing to walk down the street. he should go check that place out sometime.
(insert "what a fucked up dream for a baby to have" ending from 'then what' here)
#barry steakfries#jetpack joyride#fanfic idea#alternate universe#this is really just an idea dump post. y'know just throwing eggs everywhere and hoping one sticks to something#also i like how every au idea i've had for jetpack joyride always involves a deep queer-coded relationship between barry and craig#the aoz total apocalypse au has them go through hell together and become closer bfs who would die for each other as a result#the timeloop au has barry and craig destined to find each other but are separated from each others' timelines and must eventually let go-#-of their bond with each other and have barry sacrifice the existence of craig so he can go on and live a normal life without him#the toni/revenge au is literally just barry and craig/toni having a messy breakup ffs lmaooo#every au i'm making for this game is so unequivocally gay and i love that#we got the 'i'd kill for u' gay. we got the tragic destiny love story gay. we got the bad blood by taylor swift gay. it's all here#now that i think about it the relationship that barry and craig have in timeloop kinda reminds me of kirk and spock always being destined-#-to find each other across space and time.....#i will make sure every au i make deliberately goes out of its way to have something so very gay in it and you can trust my word on that#i wanna draw all three of my au barrys at group therapy with each other sharing their traumas#and canon barry is just there looking at them like ''what the fuck happened to you people....'' lmaoo#toni/revenge au barry: my bf turned evil and broke up with me...#timeloop barry: my bf literally got erased from existence for me...#total apocalypse barry: .... my bf is a hardened professional zombie hunter. wtf is happening in your universes???#canon barry: *taking a slow sip of coffee with an extremely concerned look on his face*#anyway yeah. barry is stuck inside a timeloop and that's why jj always starts the same way after you die#not even kidding this whole au was spawned from me playing the game again in late 2022 and thinking ''hey isn't it interesting-#-how barry always dies at the end but then bursts through the wall again just fine when you start again? like a loop? hmmm''#i'm gonna sleep now. it is. 11 pm and i have been writing this for god knows how long. good night snoorrrkk mimimimj
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I had yet another long, strenuous day yesterday and didn't finish work until super late and then I couldn't fall asleep until well past 2am cuz I was in so much pain from standing literally all day
#what made it worse was the client I spent most of my day with was a brand new client. and she booked super last minute#so I wasnt mentally prepared for doing a 5 hour color. and her natural hair was already pretty light so I had to foil foil foil. go back.#pull out first couple foils. foil foil foil. go back. pull out the next few.#over and over and over.#and her hair was so fucking long. and so fucking thick.#and after the first hour she wouldn't talk. like I like my silence so I don't fight it much#but every now and then I would try to engage with her. I'd say something and she would straight up ignore me. no acknowledgment.#which makes me feel anxious cuz it's like jesus... does she hate me?? did I piss her off somehow?#even when I finished her hair (it looked fucking amazing no lie. one of my best highlights yet.) she had next to no reaction to it#she was like 'it looks fine. I mean good. it's good.' completely deadpan#I laughed it off and was like yeah it's been a long day girl! but it looks amazinggg on you!!#no response. deep inhale. alright.#whatever tho.#when I did finally get off work I stopped @ bojangles cuz I was lightheaded and hadn't eaten since morning#and when I tell you I almost broke down into tears cuz there were so many people crowding the goddamn pickup area.#and so many bizarre conversations going on. genuinely felt like I was in some form of hell#like my feet hurt. my back hurts. I'm tired. I didn't get the validation I like to have over a 5 hour transformative color.#I'm hungry and there are two elderly women blocking the pickup counter. one is hard of hearing so she keeps yelling HUH???#and the other only speaks in soft baby whispers. that goes as well as you can imagine.#there's a man behind me grilling an employee abt whether or not he goes to church. he starts witnessing to him#and the employee says 'I've never thought about it like that before' no less than 4 times.#there's a child in front of me playing tiktoks @ full volume. and this is all happening simultaneously.#I really considered just leaving without my food but I knew I needed to eat and didnt have anything at home so I stuck it out#was it worth it? no. bojangles honestly sucks these days but what's a girl gonna do.#got home and tried to pass out but nope. tossed and turned all night.#put on hot n cold patches to try to soothe the pain a little. didn't work cuz one pain would be eased a bit and another pain would take over#blahhhhhh#and now. I get to do it all over again! yippeeeeeee!!!!!!!!
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SOBBED LIKE A BABY AT THE END OF ROTK LIKE MORE THAN USUAL HELP JUST KILL ME OK JUST KILL ME DON'T MAKE ME WATCH HOBBITS CRYING
#auj came on IMMEDIATELY afterwards#and it broke me harder and was like fuck i can't do this i'm going to bed#and i came back up to get water before bed and moms like 'i'm watching this again until im ready to go to bed bc i haaven't#seen it in a while' so i'm like well. i'm gonna sit up here too then#if you wanna watch i'm not gonna not watch#but i'm in pain#its been so long since tolkien has hurt me this much#rewatching lotr
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you cannot make this shit up - my heater is out again
#and of course on a fuckin Wednesday night so! they will probably be book until next week#they JUST CAME the first wrek of October and did a check on it I SPECIFICALLY TOOL ADVANTAGE OF THE AC/HEATER DIAGNOSTIC SPECIAL#cause I was like MAN LAST YEAR NO HEATER FOR 2 AND A HALF WEEKS IN WINTER BROKE ME#mentally. physically. emotionally. financially. broke me.#and here we are again#I fuckin HATE THIS SHIT#like I literally had them out here on the 6th of fuckin october to look it over said everything's great 👍#like bro#BRO#if I have to go all weekend without heat I'm gonna fckn lose it bro#I have SO MUCH SHIT to do Friday too like fuck fuck fuck fuck#fuck!!!!!!!!#pls pls pls I need good vibes I gotta be able to get them out here asap jfc#erin explains it all#typos stay my fingers are NUMB
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I honestly wish my birthday wasn't in 2 weeks. I always get really depressed around my birthday.
#october 23rd everybody mark your calendars!#it's a monday and I have sweeney todd rehearsal that night so I probably won't even get to have my birthday on my birthday#I'm gonna be 24 years old it really shouldn't matter so much to me anymore but it does#but I'm not a kid anymore. my birthday isn't special to anyone but me anymore. to everyone else it's just another day.#well it's all I've got it's the only time I ever feel seen and like people care enough to pay even the slightest attention to me#i just recently realized that receiving gifts is a love language for me too and i honestly hate that i feel like such an asshole#it feels worse because I haven't been able to get even a shitty job since i graduated college and my family is fucking broke too#so when my sister said she already had my birthday present my mom just jokingly says 'at least someone's getting you something' !#i seriously almost started crying when she said that. i did not find that funny at all. she said the exact same thing about christmas#which i feel the same way about. I've just been having a horrible last like 2 years and now it's almost my birthday again and I'm still#exactly where I was last year. I'm trying so hard and I just can't make any progress.#I'm stuck and it just feels like there's nothing I can do about it at this point.#anyway sorry to be such a downer I'm gonna at least try to go to sleep#abby's self deprication hour#abby's insomia thoughts
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I SEE KESHA IN LESS THAN 48 HOURS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#there are still tix available at some of the shows -- all of them are out west-ish#i am SO fucking excited and also SO broke after the car stuff I had to pay for and won't be able to buy all the merch I want 😭#and i'll have to reschedule my next car fixing appt to after payday bc i CANNOT afford it right now 😭#but it'll be fine. next month will be a little tight but then i'll be able to afford stuff again. hopefully.#GOD i'm so FUCKING excited!!!!!!!!!!!!#I LOVE KESHA SO GODDAMN MUCH#soooooooo curious what my spotify wrapped is gonna be this year now that i listen to music at work a bunch#it's so much harder to guess when i expand the hours that much#but i do think kesha's still gonna be top 10 if not top 5 even though i've been going through other artists' entire discographies bc. well.#i listen to a Lot of kesha 😂#i'll post pics of my outfit and shit#it isn't anything special bc i kept forgetting to plan for it but. i threw something together and it works.#personal#kesha#only love tour#gag order album#gag order tour
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#personal#do not reblog#another relationship that didn't go anywhere#and I'm so fucking hurt over it#it was a rebound for both of us so it was doomed from the start#but he's also struggling with mental health issues and in the end he didn't make time for me in his life#not enough#and i felt less and less loved and cared for#so in the end he said he needed to think about what he wants from life and didn't know if he wanted to be with me in 6 months...#i broke things off#i wasn't happy#i wasn't getting my needs met#it was a clusterfuck and I'm better out of that#and yet... and yet i feel lonely and unwanted and sad#and I keep fantasizing he's gonna come around sometime#even though I know he won't and i made it clear I don't want to be friends#so he probably won't bother me again#but yeah... this feeling that i wasn't enough for him to make an effort#even though it was his issues that prevented him from doing so (i think)#but still. I'm feeling shitty
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the urge to tell this woman that she's fucking dumb in the pettiest most angry way vs. me having to calm myself down and be as friendly about pointing out things she might want to reconsider because I am trying to help this horse and telling her off in any way will just result in her shutting down and not considering my (very valid) points at all
#yoooooo bitch you're killing your horse because you're fucking dumb <3 much love <3 get help <3#getting her a 'get well soon'- card but I'm referring to her mental state <3#I'm severely pissed off and angry again but whatever else is new#just give this horse away to someone who cares and will pay vetbills instead of sending their kids to expensive ass private schools#and going on vaca 4 times a year so that their kids have something exciting to talk about at their stupid expensive private schools#while your horse can't fucking breath cause you won't pay for vet visits + meds lmao#boo fucking hoo we have to pay 150€ a month for someone to clean out our kid's rabbit's stalls because our kids have never learned#to take responsibility for their pets and won't look after their rabbits - that they absolutely desperately needed#and also never cared about once ever since they got them - and now we can't afford this sick horses' meds because we're broke#also we're going on vaca next month can you please stand in at work for me ? thanks#I hate this place I hate this place I hate this place I hate that I supported this place for so long#I just want this poor horse outta there and in good hands#fucking why is it so hard to get that she's gonna get him killed with her bullshit#oh he's not coughing as much meaning he's now healthy and he no longer has permanent lasting lung damage because magic or w/e ????#so now we're not giving him his meds anymore because he's in perfect health. no sickness in this horse. none#like woman ??? he. can't. fucking. BREATHE. OH MY GOD#maim bite kill kill slaughter bite bite scratch maim bite bite kill etc etc
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I saw 3.8 leaks (info about them in tags if you don’t wanna look at them)
Me: We don’t spend money on gacha games. We don’t spend money on gacha games. We don’t spend money on gacha games.
3.8 leaks: *Exist*
Me: FUCK
#genshin leaks#last warning for y'all get out if you don't give a shit about leaks#WHY IS MY DAUGHTER AND EULA ON THE SAME BANNER#LIKE DON'T GET ME WRONG I ALREADY HAVE KLEE BUT LIKE...AGH#AND THE SKINS#THAT'S WHAT I AM MOST STRESSED ABOUT ME CRACKING FOR#BECAUSE KLEE'S SKIN IS FUCKING ADORABLE#SHE IS DRESSED UP LKE HER MOMMY#DODOCO IS PEEKING OUT OF HER. BACKPACK#like yeah Kaeya's is perfect as well#BUT I AM GOING TO NEED TO SPEND MONEY IN ORDER TO GET KLEE'S#and again I have a hard and fast rule about not spending money on gacha games#the only time I ever broke that was for Caramel Arrow Cookie and that's beacuse I had like 20 gift cards that were about to expire#BUT KLEE'S SKIN IS SO CUTE#I'm still not gonna spend money on it but this is the closest I'll probably ever get#AND A POTENTIAL KAEYA HANGOUT AYO???#3.8 feels like an update specifically designed for my dumb ass#and I appreciate that but now I need to have self-control
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#so today i broke down and fully cried over realizing the reality that i probably won't be able to go see Taylor on this tour#and i felt so stupid for it like crying over not getting to see a concert seems so trivial and i mean so many reasons but like#and like i don't cry much anymore like I've been through and am in so much pain and horrible stuff constantly and so much stress and trauma#but I've built up strength to not cry over those things like if i did I'd just be crying nonstop so i channel my emotions into trying to#solve the problems and like still I'm so unbelievably stressed but like also as an empath i feel everything really deeply but usually lately#the things that make me cry are more like sweet animal rescue videos acts of kindness touching stories or really deeply inspirational or#relatable things in books etc but so like I'm like mad at myself for crying over this but#i checked the stubhub like prices for what tix are going for and it's fucking over 500 a pop for nosebleeds i just#it's infuriating the scalping and how many hard core fans are unable to go bc of that but rich ppl who aren't really fans i just. 1000 bucks#for 300 level is just no I'm sorry that's not ever gonna happen and i just#i really thought I'd just find tickets over time closer to the event like that's how I've done several concerts but then i looked and saw#that and I'm like oh my god and that's before fees and then there's the gas to get there the repairs that need to be done to the car to get#there all the other fees involved and in realizing oh my god like I've been overconfident and now i don't see a way and I'm so sad and i#just broke down its i know iy seems stupid but first this feels like something that might not happen again anytime soon if ever the way the#world is going out could be last chance and rep tour was the first time I'd been able to see Taylor to begin with and the experience was SO#amazing it's like the one thing i looked forward to this year that lifted me up in really dark times and again i feel shitty when there's so#many fans who never get to see her international too i just. I'm sorry I'm just like this breaks my heart on levels and like#i hate how money dictates everything i hate that i went to eds last tour tickets in the same venue were 30 DOLLARS and even the Taylor ones#i think were like 75 and now it's so high bc only scalping it's so fucked up and like I'm already in a really bad hole money wise bc of#an emergency issue that happened and I've got some scary medical things going on waiting on tests and having trouble with rent and food and#gas so like i can't even try to be like. you know? like justify trying to save up that much even when i got all this#i just.
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can't believe i'm getting sick. and i also cracked the back of my phone by accident because nothing was going my way today. wow, great christmas
#and by can't believe i'm getting sick i mean this was predictable the moment my mother started getting sick with covid/flu symptoms but#she has zero to no respect for other people and did nothing to avoid spreading it even if i already wasn't doing well and was in the#emergency unit this week :))#she only did the covid test because i basically forced her and the only time she was 'careful' about being sick was when we had to go to#the supermarket and i (again) had to basically force her to wear a stupid mask#and then she makes everything about her and has no decency or common courtesy towards anyone but whatever won't get into that#i'm glad christmas is over#i was also the only person working inside this stupid house#at one point i had a meltdown mid cooking lunch but it's fine i guess#even though i was already sleeping i'm gonna take my meds and try to sleep again because what a fucking headache i have r#sorry for using tumbles as a diary i guess i just fucking had zero luck today#couldn't even drink tea because someone broke my tea infuser or whatever that thing is called#that actually made me cry agsjshs it's stupid but idk i was already hanging on by a thread at that point#god i hate family holidays#i should feel grateful but also i have feelings so not today i guess even if i'm acting like a big baby#ignore my vent post please i'll delete it later when i wake up and realise i regret opening up during my fever delirium for people to see#i feel like a bitch for complaining
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"Oh my god he’s dead- we killed a vigilante, OHMYGODOHMYGOD—" A hysterical voice screeched out, decidedly feminine and loud enough that the comn line picked it up.
"He broke in here for no reason first! We have probable cause as to why you brained him with our wok!" The second interjected, calmer than the first, but there was still a line of tension, like they were uncertain about what they were saying.
"Oh my god, oh god we’re literally so dead Batman’s literally going to murder me and you and us and—"
"We're already mostly dead, he can't kill us. Although I thought he had a no killing rule anyways, so maybe we’re safe? Ancients, that is a lot of blood. You think we should call an ambulance?" Static filtered through the comn line before stabilizing again and wow. The residents of the apartment were really just having a full conversation over an unconscious Nightwing- in earshot of a microphone recording every word- like this was a normal occurrence. Maybe it was a normal Friday night for them, Barbara couldn't exactly judge.
"I'm not calling an ambulance, they might arrest him. Hell, they're probably gonna arrest us! Danny, we're fucking unresgistered metas in Gotham, I’m a clone—"
"—Not metas and I won’t let anyone arrest you—"
"—It's the same thing to the government at the end of the day. You're right though. I think I hit him too hard, we're going to lose the deposit with the amount of blood getting everywhere. Head wounds bleed a lot right? Maybe he's not dead."
"He's not dead, we'd know if he was."
"Oh. Right. Man. That is a lot of blood, our IKEA rug is ruined. I liked that rug, you think we could ask him to buy a new one when he wakes up or is he on the normal vigilante salary of nothing?"
“Mhm. I'll go get the med kit, you handcuff him to the table so he doesn't jump us when he wakes up. Keep the mask on- I don’t want to piss off whatever buddies he’s got listening in.”
#fanfic#wip hell#danny fenton#danny phantom#dani phantom#nightwing#barbara gordon#dpxdc#dc x dp#dc comics
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