#i'm going to lose friends over this aren't i

[ladyrosemone]

HEAR ME OUT 🗣🗣‼️

Using Google Translate here, sorry if something doesn't make sense

I love the angst plot about the neglected reader; and don't get me wrong, I love it more when the batfamily grovels for forgiveness from the "forgotten child"

But then...nothing happens, and I'm left...And now?

They either crumble under the obsession, or fight in an endless cycle, or give up and succumb to Stockholm syndrome. I love reading them, but I always wanted something...more.

And here I leave my contribution.

Reader Wayne -biological to follow tradition- abandoned LEADER of a underworld.

Stay with me;

Tired of being invisible and insignificant before the wonderful talents of Bruce's chosen children (not father, he never was), not even being a priority for Alfred (admittedly, he abandoned his daughter in favor of the Waynes, I think It is more credible that we go to the fifth plane for him) What do you do with free time, selfishness disguised as empathy and a lot of money at your fingertips? You open a brothel first.

You attract all kinds of people; drug addicts who would do anything for easy money and easier drugs, people in need of jobs and guidance, the low and forgotten of Gotham, the women (touching on the subject with all the respect it deserves) who have nothing to lose or with some extra mouths to feed. In short, everything that the city abandoned by God leaves aside.

Little by little, in silence and discretion, we become recognized; Deals here, influences there, and in a moment, we ruled the underworld. We offer all kinds of services to the villains of Gotham, alliances and protection, secrets and methods of elimination, lust and accompaniment, everything in a bit.

Do you remember that loan we took out when we left? Maybe Bruce or Tim found the charge on a document, and the purchase was...a house outside of Gotham? Who bought it? Dick? Jason? Maybe Cassandra or Stephenie? Well, whoever it was, it's a piece of junk about to fall down, so what difference does it make?

There is something more important to do. (There is always that with them, right?) Maybe it's too complicated a mission even for all of them together, or they just need that piece of the puzzle to win once again, whatever they need takes them to Gotham's underworld, takes them to Sanctuary.

How fun! New pieces have joined the board, and what pieces...In the style of his good friend Edward (The Riddler), leaves little clues that bring them closer to the reader, the Savior, to whom they all owe something and serve him.

Inevitably our ego (perhaps a savior complex or a degree of narcissism) makes us want to reveal ourselves to them, and we meet them at the suburban house they left aside.

Surprise! The unknown child is now the most influential crime boss of his generation! Aren't you proud? Of course, business and family don't mix.

All help is given with the Savior (us) in exchange for something clear, the profits do not come alone, and all he asks for is...Time together?...Of course.

Coffee chats with Bruce (the press mistakes them for a new conquest, disgusting), gymnastics with Richard (since when can you contort like that?!) reading with Jason (they have the same tastes apparently) playing video games with Tim (and hack a few government accounts) taking care of animals with Damian (You have a whole zoo with exotic rescued animals!) shopping with your sisters or just staying silent with Cassandra, even Duke gets his quality time! (Why they accepted him immediately, what does he have that I don't)

It makes them realize something they lost, the funny thing is they never had it in the first place, and knowing that hurts more than any wound.

We know that, and we use it (like everything) to our advantage. And in the end, with the service done and the day saved, we don't need any more of them, The door is over there!

Only that the sinner has already tasted God's forgiveness, why would he want to leave him?

So they keep coming back, trying to get you to leave that evil path (according to them) and come home, safe, to them. But not out of love (there is no such thing as love for a Wayne), but out of guilt, which becomes a need, which becomes an obsession.

And while we should be careful with that...it's more entertaining to be the puppeteer than the puppet. There is no compassion, there is no empathy, there is no affection or pity; There's ambition, there's status, there's power, and in a world like Gotham, that's all that matters.

And the bat family knows it; They are not stupid, they know that you are using them, like a dog waiting for a caress, a rope to be pulled to open the door, salvation itself...maybe it is their fault acting on them, but they will not let go of the crumbs that are given to them we give.

There is no happy ending, only an unhealthy relationship between the two; the most powerful playing, we know that if we keep pushing, a prison will be a more merciful destiny.

But we don't care anymore, not now that we have the world in our hands.

[pain-is-forever]

Theo wants to squeeze Argo back, but it all happens so quick he can't even begin to register anything. Aside from that smile. Argo's smiling. How could he be smiling right now? He just told Theo to kill him- and he's smiling. How could she have smiled when she asked that of him? Why do people keep smiling as they tell Theo to murder them?

"Andr-" Theo bites his tongue. Snap out of it. This isn't her. It's not- it's not the same. Get a grip. This is Argo. It's Argo. Not Andrea. You're not reliving this. You're not- you won't let that happen again. You promised her you wouldn't. You're going to keep your promise, aren't you?

"Argo- Argo, please. I can't- don't- gods damnit, I've already lost someone like that, I can't lose you, too-" Theo reaches out to Argo, wanting to hold them, to hug them forever and make everything okay. He doesn't know how, but he's sure he could figure it out, if only he had time-

Theo's so selfish. He's selfish in thinking he could fix it all by himself, that he could change Argo's mind about this. That he can just keep them here against their will. But it's Argo. He can't lose Argo. Argo, who was one of the first people to not give up on him.

Fuck no. He's not letting his friend die. Not like that. He's not killing another person, he simply won't let that happen. He wants to tackle Argo to the ground again, but stops himself. Argo's hurt. He's got two deities inside his brain. There's no talking them out of this. It's what they want.

Everything hurts. Theo's chest stings with guilt, his head is pounding, even his eyes hurt from the crying. He feels as though his legs are about to give out. Like he's not going to make it any longer. Like he's going to collapse and never get up again. He feels like Argo just told Theo to kill himself instead of them.

Argo is part of him, an inseperable part of him. He can't just get rid of that part as if it meant nothing. His bottom lip is quivering. He can't do it. He can't bring himself to raise his sword at his brother. There's just no way in hell he'd manage to do what he was asked.

Then, Argo's eyes turn white, and everything disappears. It's as if Kronos stopped time. Theo feels like he's floating in a pink abyss, Argo's body floating beside him. The scene doesn't feel real, deep down he knows he's in the woods, he sees the trees- but in his mind, he's in that pink abyss, nothing aside from himself and Argo there. He doesn't want this to be reality.

Memories flash through his head. The times they'd laugh together, the way he'd comfort Argo, that one time he gifted them a coat, all the times they fell asleep next to each other, the way they lived in the same house- adopted by the same man. This can't be the end. He can't let it be the end. He'll find a way to fix this. He'll- he'll go down to the underworld and drag Argo's soul back into his body. This time he'll succeed. He'll make sure Argo is alive and alone in their body.

But first, Theo has to do something he'll regret. Something so heart wrenching, so horrible, that he won't be able to sleep for at least a month because of it. Something he swore he'd never do. 'I'm sorry, Andrea. I have to- I know I said I wouldn't, but I have to-' gods, he feels so guilty. This is all his fault. He slowly draws his sword, his hands are shaking. His entire body is shaking.

Theo puts his foot on Argo's abdomen as an attempt to stop them from squirming. If they squirm, it's just going to hurt more. Theo wants to give Argo a quick death. His brother doesn't deserve to suffer like this. He can't make it painless, but he'll make the pain go away as soon as he can. So fast the body won't even register it. That's his goal.

He positions his sword above Argo's chest, locating the heart. A quick pierce through the heart, stopping function. It should be over quite soon. Spare him the pain. Just do it. Just- Just stab him. It's not that hard.

He breathes in, closing his eyes shut. He doesn't want to look at this. At what he's about to do. His chest hurts, it pangs with guilt and sorrow. His hands are shaking, the sword threatens to fall to the ground. He grips it tighter, takes a couple more deep breaths. He has to do this. He has to- Argo asked. And who is Theo to deny his brother's request? He calms the shaking in his hands, steadying his grip and the sword.

He shuts his eyes even more, so much so he starts seeing spots in the darkness of his eyelids. He inhales deeply once more and quickly brings his sword down on Argo, piercing through the heart. Theo's body crouches on its own with the motion, just to make sure the sword has fully gone through the body. A hole in the heart. Theo's entire body hurts, he fights back tears.

He opens his eyes. It's over. He did it. He made it. Oh, gods, he's killed someone again. Oh gods. He pulls his sword out of Argo's body, the wound starting to bleed. He collapses onto his brother's body, he doesn't even care that his face is on the wound. He's getting blood on his face. He doesn't care. He starts crying again. He stays like that for a while before moving his face to kiss Argo's forehead. "Rest easy, brother..."

This one won't come back. This one's dead for good. It's over. Part of Theo is gone. Argo is gone. Fuck, what has he done? This is so wrong. Tears mix with Argo's blood on Theo's face. He hugs his brother one last time before setting the body to the side and beginning to dig.

Theo wants to dig a grave. He can't give Argo the proper Greek burial, but he can give them a burial. And any burial is better than no burial. He's digging with his hands, he has no shovel and swords aren't exactly made for digging. Dirt getting behind his nails, pebbles in the way and tree roots interrupting, Theo persists. None of it deters him. He needs to do this.

It takes him a couple hours to dig a proper hole, but he manages to make it. He digs through his pockets and pulls out a single golden drachma. He gently opens Argo's mouth and places the coin on their tongue. He closes his brother's mouth and lifts the body, as if nothing else in the world mattered. He sets it down in the hole and pushes the dirt he dug away back into it. He pats the top out to smoothen it.

Then, he walks to find Argo's dagger. He comes back to his little burial site and stares at it. He gets angry. Why would this happen to him? Why him? Why does it always have to be him who loses friends? He rushes up to the tree next to the grave and starts slashing at it wildly with the dagger until he's exhausted.

Theo's exhausted. He's tired and angry. He falls forward, lodging Argo's dagger in the grave. He wants to dig his friend out. He wants to fix this. He has to- he can't lose this one. But he doesn't Argo wanted this. Argo wanted it, and Theo has to oblige.

"Why would you leave me...?"

Open Starter

TW: SELF HARM, attempted murder

I want to scream. I want to scream. She is in my head. Get her out. Get her out.

Argo refused to leave the forest, he's been there for a week. He can't hurt anyone in the woods- they can overpower him.

Argo has clearly been crying for.. hours. He looks like a ghost- he looks dead.

Argo is holding a dagger, the one his brother gave him. He's not really.. holding it. It's on the ground next to him- because he has stabbed and sliced into his own legs repeatedly- and is panicked; trying to stop the bleeding.

Make her leave. Make her stop talking. I thought she'd stop if I did this. Please- make her stop.

When you approach- Argo's eyes switch colors so fast you get dizzy.

"I-" He sputters. "I have to kill you."

ANYONE CAN INTERACT

(seriously I'm so bored. any blog (canon or non, epic or pjo blogs) I WANT INTERACTION!! :P (I swear I'm nicer than Argo is)

taglist (ask to be added or deleted): @orion-the-hunterpt2 @lilacnightshade @pain-is-forever @reyno-solis-real @faceless-bugger @unlicensed-field-medic @the-great-emperor-commodus @the-eclipsed-sun

[uceyliyahh]

SNEAKY LINK

Summary: After having a one night stand with each other Kiyana and Jey decided to become sneaky links until she grew attached to him will he be able to feel the same as her?

smut warning; it’ll come in the story randomly so PLEASE PLEASE look out for it I’m not really good at writing ✍🏽 smuts but I’m improving at the moment.

Jey Uso x Kiyana

word count: 5063

AWFUL GRAMMAR IM GETTING BETTER I SWEAR LOL.

comments, likes, repost are appreciated I would love the constructive feedback in what area I need to approve in. 🤍

ALSO! I don’t not want nobody stealing my fanfics or take it as theirs that will be an issue fasho so keep it cute respectfully.

I only own my OC along with the make up scenarios

But I’ll be writing along the way since this story is in my drafts on Wattpad right now so yuh. 💁🏽‍♀️

TAGS ⬇️ lmk if you wanna be tag 🏷️@pinkwithhearts @420days @jstarr86 @empressdede @angiedawn02 @biancasreign @clubsoft

@bebesobrielo @skyesthebomb @aikosilo @papireigns-05 @punksyeet @paigereeder @magnificentbouquetmusic @tribalhoochie

@charmed-dreamssss @fearlesschimera @partypoison00 @mselenalovebug @bloodlinesbabe93 @justazzi @xbriexx @luvrsluxe @celesteheartsjey @4milly @luuvprincess @yyaktayak @yana3sworld @raya-hunter01 @lilucey @soccergirlbae

Ø3

"I just want you to be careful sis, I know he's my best friend but if he hurts you I'll end up hurting him,"

"You know I can take care of you better than that Uso over there,"

"Let's go out for dinner sweetheart,"

"The fuck is yo' problem Kiyana?"

KIYANA Today marks a significant moment for me as I prepare to strut down the runway for the fashion show. To say I'm feeling nervous would be an understatement; it's been quite some time since I last walked a runway—around three years, in fact. The anticipation for tonight is building, and I can't help but feel a mix of excitement and anxiety.

I had no photoshoots scheduled today because Nathan insisted I concentrate on my runway performance for tonight's fashion show. So, I spent the day at home, enjoying some healthy snacks while watching TV. Suddenly, my phone buzzed, and I picked it up to find a message from Liv.

IMESSAGE 💬 Liv🌸: heyyyy girly tonight is your night girl how are you feeling? Yana💗: I'm feeling pretty nervous for today you know just gives me the jitters Liv🌸: you got this girl, I heard it was going to be a lot of folks there too so you better work girl Yana💗: thanks girly you're so supportive of me Liv🌸: you're my best friend ofc I'm going to support you in the end girl, so what's tea? Yana💗: about? Liv🌸: you and Jey what's happening? Yana💗: nothing really he's been sending me gifts lately and spoiling me like I'm his girl when he's dealing with someone already ain't that weird? Liv🌸: yeah that's weird he should be spoiling Jaida and not you Yana💗: I mean I don't mind it but it's too much honestly you know? Liv🌸: yeah especially yall aren't a couple only sneaky links Yana💗: idk if he's tryna put me in that category of women but it's not happening Liv🌸: I understand so how are you truly feeling about this? Like be honest with me Yana💗: if I'm being honest with you I might have caught feelings for him but it comes and goes especially when I realize that he's dealing with her all those feelings go away Liv🌸: so basically losing and gaining feelings for him again? Yana I don't want this to ruin your mental you're a sweet girl who deserves someone to love on you not just someone who fucks you whenever they please. Yana💗: I hear you bestie but I'm focused on my career that's important to me and whatever he got goin on is none of my business Liv🌸: period I'm glad this whole situation is not tearing you down and I think Cody knows about it... Yana💗: WHAT? Liv🌸: yeah he asked me about today at work I told him I don't what's happening between you and his best friend so he said he'll swing by to see you Yana💗: damn it...I mean he's my brother older brother at that he has every right to know so I'll just talk to him about it. Liv🌸: alrighty girl lmk how it goes and I'll see you tonight! Love you Yana💗: love you too

I was caught off guard by Cody's awareness of the situation. It's likely he saw the pictures of Jey and me shared with my close friends. I should have removed him from that list to prevent this from happening. I set my phone aside and focused on my meal, patiently waiting for Cody to arrive so we could discuss the unfolding drama between Jey and me.

I haven't received any word from him since his visit a few days back, but honestly, I don't mind at all. He's not my partner, and I certainly wasn't his girlfriend—it's as straightforward as that. While enjoying my meal, I heard a knock at the door. Recognizing it was Cody, I paused my show and made my way to the door.

As I swung the door open, I was greeted by the sight of my big brother, a bouquet of flowers in his hand and a warm smile on his face. He stepped inside, handing me the flowers with a cheerful demeanor, and I placed them gently on the table.

We settled onto opposite ends of the couch, my legs crossed as I patiently awaited his words.

"Hey, my wonderful sister how are you feeling for today?" Cody asked.

I sighed deeply, "if I'm being honest, I feel nervous for tonight brother," I said.

"You'll do great tonight out there sis even mom will be proud of you when she sees you," I gave him a smile knowing that my brother got my back.

"So what's goin on between you and Jey Yana?" I knew he was going to get straight to it I couldn't lie to my brother that's his best friend of course, "We are just messing around with each other," His facial expressions changed into a confusing one.

"Don't beat around the bush with it sis I understand you're a grown woman,"

I shared with him the story of my night at the club with Jey, revealing how I ended up losing my virginity to him in his hotel room. I also mentioned that Jey and I have developed a secret connection, navigating our relationship as sneaky links.

"Sneaky links?" He asked as I nodded my head.

"Yeah, but we get to live our lives separately and have no strings attached," I said.

"I just want you to be careful sis, I know he's my best friend but if he hurts you I'll end up hurting him," I can understand where my brother was coming from he's been protecting me all of his life since we were kids since we didn't have a father in our lives Cody would do anything for me.

"I understand brother I'm very focused on my career right now and not worried about what he has going on with his shawty," Cody gave me a faint smile knowing that I wasn't letting this get to me especially mentally.

I must admit that I had a bit of a crush on him, but as I explained to Liv, my feelings were quite inconsistent. I realized that he likely didn't share the same feelings, especially considering his current situation with Jaida.

I refused to let myself be foolish over something unattainable and not rightfully mine, so I couldn't understand why he was so worked up about it. Cody lingered a bit longer to fill me in on his journey in wrestling and his rise to becoming a champion, and I couldn't be prouder of him.

I've been caught up in my modeling career lately, which has kept me out of the loop with all the wrestling happenings. Thankfully, my brother has been there to fill me in on everything. After a while, I received a message from Jey himself, but I made him wait while I listened to my brother's updates.

My phone buzzed incessantly with his messages, reminiscent of a needy boyfriend craving attention, prompting me to roll my eyes and silence the notifications.

"Is that Jey texting you?" Cody asked.

"Yeah, but I didn't want to be rude since you were talking to me about what's been happening," I said.

"It's all good little sis, just see what he wants," I pulled out my phone seeing messages from him.

Big Papa😩 sent four messages

Big Papa😩: wya mama? Big Papa😩: I miss you today is your big day Big Papa😩: I'll be there after I deal with things with shawty Big Papa😩: You ignoring me?

IMESSAGE 💬 Yana💗: no I wasn't ignoring you sir I was busy talking to my brother Big Papa😩: Aw Aight I was just making sure Yana💗: even if I was it would be for a good reason but I don't have a good reasoning right now Big Papa😩: mhm wya tho? Yana💗: I'm at home eating something healthy and talking to Cody Big Papa😩: why you didn't tell me Cody was your brother? Yana💗: you never asked? 🤨 Big Papa😩: don't get smart little girl Yana💗: whatever nigga what you want actually? Big Papa😩: I'm tryna see you I know you miss me Yana💗: I miss the thought of you 😭 Big Papa😩: you don't be saying that when I be fucking you screaming daddy this and daddy that Yana💗: 🙄 Big Papa😩: that's what I thought now lemme come see you Yana💗: you gon have to wait until Cody leaves Big Papa😩: that's my dawg he already know what's happening between us Yana💗: I mean I already told him our situation..he's very protective over me so be careful just saying Big Papa😩: why? It's not like I'm hurting you or anything we aren't a couple just giving each other what we need.

Ouch well that makes great sense to me.

Yana💗: yeah, ofc even when I'm not in the mood you got someone to help you out with that 😭😭 Big Papa😩: you been talking reckless what's up with that? Yana💗: no reason Big Papa😩: mhm I'm otw Yana💗: k

 I set my phone aside, rolling my eyes as I noticed the worry etched on Cody's face. "Are you okay, Yana?" he asked, his concern evident. I nodded and offered him a reassuring smile.

"Yeah, it seems like Jey is coming over to see me," I said.

"That's good I could speak to him before approaching you," he said.

I anticipated this situation, but I have no complaints. After all, he's my brother, and it's only natural for him to look out for his little sister.

"You wanna watch this show with me while we wait on him?"

"Yeah, let's go ahead and watch it," Cody said as I unpaused the show.

༊*·˚

JEY Kiyana's behavior has changed noticeably since my visit to her house a few days ago. I couldn't quite grasp the reason behind it; I initially thought she was simply prioritizing her career over the complications with me and Jaida.

I understand that she's likely feeling anxious about her fashion show tonight, so I decided not to press her about her unusual behavior and the reckless things she's been saying to me. As I arrived at her house and noticed Cody's car parked beside hers, I turned off my engine and stepped out, making my way to the front door.

I rapped on the door, anticipating either her or Cody to answer. As I waited, I scrolled through my social media, liking various pictures, particularly those from Jaida's profile. It was during this time that I noticed Kiyana had recently updated her story.

yanasworld posted on their story!

I was really taken aback by that tweet she shared in her story. What on earth was she trying to convey? Is there a deeper reason for her behavior, or is she simply indifferent to the situation?

I couldn't believe my eyes as the door swung open, revealing Cody with a bright smile. It looked like he was about to head out, but then he unexpectedly pulled me aside. What could his intentions be?

"What's up Uce," I said.

Cody stated, "I understand the dynamics between you and my sister, but I need to emphasize something important. Don't allow this situation to jeopardize her career; there will be repercussions. She has an incredibly promising future ahead, and I can't stand by while my best friend puts that at risk."

My face twisted in confusion when he said that. "What do you mean by that? I'm not trying to hurt her; I'm just enjoying myself," I argued.

"It's important to be mindful of her feelings. As her brother, I understand how sensitive she can be, always longing for things she can't have. So, please, do me a favor and tread lightly." I completely get where he's coming from; if I had a sister in Kiyana's position, I would want to protect her just the same.

As he approached his car, we embraced warmly before he climbed inside. I turned and walked into the house, noticing Kiyana was nowhere to be found. After shutting the door behind me, I slipped off my shoes and neatly placed them on the shoe rack. Then, I made my way upstairs to her bedroom.

As I opened the door, I found her nestled in bed, curled up tightly under the blankets, seemingly engrossed in her phone. I slipped into the bed beside her, gently wrapping my arms around her waist, which made her flinch at my unexpected touch.

"Jesus, Jey you can't be sneaking up on folks like that boy," I laughed as she spoke, gently flipping her around so that she could look at me directly.

I found myself captivated by every detail of her face, gently resting my hand on her cheek and stroking it softly with my thumb. Her smile, which I cherished deeply, lit up the moment. Yet, a part of me recognized that this was merely playful banter; after all, I had Jaida waiting for me at home.

I pressed my lips gently against hers, and to my surprise, she leaned in, drawing her body closer to mine. As we began to kiss passionately, I realized this was a new experience for me. I had never been this tender with her before, perhaps influenced by the words Cody shared with me before he departed.

As our mouths intertwined, my tongue danced within hers while her fingers glided through my mullet. I reveled in the sensation of my hands roaming over her body, firmly grasping her curves. It was a passionate struggle, our tongues vying for control in a heated exchange.

I dragged her onto my lap, straddling me, and as she ground against me, I planted nothing but moist kisses on her neck, causing her to moan softly in my ear, which made my dick rise in my perspiration.

As our lips lingered in a passionate embrace, a thought suddenly struck me about something she had shared on her story. I gently pulled away from the kiss, my eyes drawn to her beautiful face.

"What's up with this quote you posted on your story mama? Did I do something?" I asked as she shook her head.

Kiyana reassured him, "It's not your fault; I'm just experiencing these feelings at the moment, that's all." Deep down, she was aware that the quote she had shared was aimed at him, but she felt compelled to conceal the truth.

She nodded with a smile, reassuring him, "I just wanted to ensure everything was fine between us. "Yes, we're good, Jey." Though uncertainty lingered in my mind about her words, I hesitated to press her further.

I felt my dick pop up and strike her in the butt as I began to untie the thread around her sweatpants and take them off of her along with her underwear.

Once more, my hands were stroking her face—she is so gorgeous. I haven't even touched her yet, but I could feel her hot pussy oozing for me. She got up and aligned herself with my dick within her entrance, making us both groan loudly as we felt how warm she was inside.

She was jumping up and down on my dick, hanging onto my chest for support so she wouldn't fall, and her eyes were dark and full of need, just like mine.

"Ouuu, fuck. Daddy...your dick is so prefect for me," Kiyana moaned as I gave her left ass cheek a few slaps.

"Yeah? Keep on bouncing on it you'll get a reward from daddy princess," I responded back to her.

 Following our time together, we nestled closely in her bed, relishing the intimacy of the moment we had just shared. She remained silent, gently toying with my hair, creating a serene atmosphere that spoke volumes without words

I found it concerning that she was so quiet; it suggests that something is troubling her, and she may not be ready to discuss it.

"What's on yo' mind mama? you seem quiet," I asked her as she gazed up at me.

I could hear her take a deep breath before she finally spoke, "Jey, I'm really anxious about tonight. What if I mess up out there or something?" It was surprising to hear her express such nerves, especially since she had been performing for years. Why was she feeling this way? 

"Mama I think you'll do great out there don't doubt yourself for a second aight? You're perfect," Her smile lit up the room, casting a spell that captivated me completely. I gently pressed a tender kiss on her temple, savoring the moment, before leaning in for another kiss on her lips.

It quickly escalated into another passionate moment as she embraced me, her arms around my neck while I held her at the hip. She was simply flawless. Just then, I felt my phone vibrating, interrupting our intimate connection.

"Hey, someone's calling you I'll be back I gotta get ready for tonight," she said as she got up from her bed heading towards the bathroom.

I answered the phone, recognizing Jaida's voice, and immediately knew it was her reaching out to me.

OTP Babygirl💋: hiii daddy wya Jey🖤: I'm over here at a friends house chilling what's up? Babygirl💋: what friend? Is it that girl Kiyana? You fucking her? Jey🖤: nah baby I wouldn't do that to you, she's nothing to me compare to you Babygirl💋: good I can't wait to see you I miss that big dick of yours Jey🖤: I miss you too baby I'll see you after I leave from here aight? Babygirl💋: okay daddy see you Jey🖤: aight then baby

CALL ENDED

I could hear the shower running, which led me to believe she was enjoying a long soak. As I got up from her bed and slipped into the clothes I had worn earlier, the sound of music wafted from the bathroom. I couldn't help but chuckle to myself as I grabbed my keys and made my way downstairs, eager to see Jaida before Kiyana's fashion show tonight.

༊*·˚

OMNISCIENT Kiyana was overwhelmed with thoughts, particularly about the conversation she overheard between Jey and Jaida just before she stepped into the shower. The way Jey was playing with her emotions left her feeling unsettled, especially since she was already grappling with her own inner turmoil regarding her feelings for him.

Kiyana dismissed the thought, determined not to let anything divert her attention tonight. As she sat in the makeup chair, she watched the other women preparing for the show, each one radiating excitement and energy. Yet, amidst the bustling atmosphere, she felt a profound sense of loneliness, longing for Nathan to be there with her in this moment.

She was thrilled to learn that Fka Twigs would be opening the show tonight. The thought of her favorite artist taking the stage brought a smile to her face. It was going to be an exciting night filled with famous faces, including her best friend, her brother, and the Uso's.

She felt an overwhelming weight in her mind and heart, grappling with emotions for a man who was ultimately out of reach. Jey's actions stirred a longing within her that she had secretly desired for so long, and now that it was within her grasp, the realization that she couldn't have it was devastating.

"Ladies! This evening is your chance to showcase your talents and open doors to new opportunities, so let your brilliance shine tonight!" Kevin encouraged us, and we all erupted in cheers of excitement.

The initial group of girls, adorned in their outfits, radiated beauty like diamonds just as the show was about to commence. The enchanting sound of Twig's voice filled the air, creating a magical atmosphere. Suddenly, she felt a gentle tap on her shoulder, prompting her to turn around.

Nathan and Patrice stood behind her, holding a bouquet of roses and cards, which made her smile as she embraced them warmly.

"Oh my goodness I thought I wasn't going to see you guys tonight!" Kiyana said.

Nathan exclaimed, "Why on earth would we skip your spectacular night strutting down the runway, looking absolutely breathtaking? Kevin even allowed me to choose your outfits for the evening!" She gasped, her hand flying to her mouth in surprise.

"Really? You're kidding?" Nathan shook his head he was being serious about it Kiyana placed the bouquet of roses and cards on her table before getting up from the chair that's when Kevin approached them.

"Kiyana, sweetheart, you'll be right behind Jazmine over there. Just keep your confidence high and shine out there!" Kiyana nodded as Nathan approached her, bringing the beautiful angelic wings for her to wear, perfectly fitting the theme for the evening.

She gazed into the mirror, adjusting her voluminous afro and ensuring her makeup was flawless. After sharing a final embrace with Nathan and Patricia, she stepped behind Jazmine, who greeted her with a cheerful wave.

Kiyana silently prayed, wishing to maintain her composure on the runway and to block out the negative energy swirling around her. As the line dwindled, she found herself inching closer to the stage, peering over Jazmine's head. There, she spotted her brother, her mother, Liv, and the Uso's seated together, captivated by Fka Twigs' enchanting performance.

She was taken aback to find Jey there, especially after spending time with Jaida just before he arrived with his brother. She had assumed he would remain with Jaida, but she chose not to let it affect her.

Jazmine followed the other girl as she returned, leaving Kiyana feeling anxious and isolated. Her nerves seemed to slip away as she caught a glimpse of Jey, who was watching her. However, she quickly averted her eyes, choosing instead to focus on the runway ahead. As she walked confidently, she lost herself in the rhythm of the music, holding hands with Fka and strutting her stuff like a true star.

She paused to flaunt her outfit, blowing a kiss to the audience before retreating backstage to change clothes, preparing to make her return.

She swiftly changed her clothes with Nathan and Patrice’s assistance, slipping into a stunning outfit he had chosen for her, adorned in elegant white and gold.

"You look absolutely stunning Yana," Patrice said.

 "I can't express how grateful I am to see all of you here with me; it completely eased my nerves," she exclaimed, wrapping them in a brief hug before returning to her place behind Jazmine, who praised her outfit.

༊*·˚ As the show concluded, Kiyana slipped into her after-party dress, exhaustion washing over her from the night's events. Just then, she heard someone calling her name. Turning around, she was greeted by the sight of her best friend, her brother, their mother, and the Uso's entering the room.

"Oh my god Yana you looked so good tonight you did your thing out there girl!" Liv exclaimed as she hugged Kiyana.

"Thank you I was nervous you guys, yall don't even know," Kiyana said as she smiled at her mother who was giving her a hug along with her brother.

As she completed her task, she noticed Jey approaching with a bouquet of her favorite flowers. How many roses could one person possibly need? With a smile, she accepted the flowers and wrapped her arms around him in a warm embrace.

"You looked gorgeous tonight, walking out like that," Jey said placing a soft kiss on her cheek.

Gratefulness filled her voice as she expressed her thanks, "I truly appreciate it." Meanwhile, the group opted to grab some drinks while Kiyana engaged in conversation with her new friends, all the while sensing a pair of eyes intently observing her every action.

She suddenly felt a tap on her shoulder, causing her to pause mid-sentence, thinking it was Jey. However, when she turned around, she was taken aback to find a towering man, standing at 6'3", right behind her.

"May I help you?"

"Yes , you can actually," he said getting her hand while placing a soft kiss on it.

The man exuded an undeniable charm, with his strikingly handsome features complemented by his captivating eyes. Their beauty was almost ethereal, resembling sparkling diamonds that seemed to hold a world of wonder within them.

"I couldn't help but to find you looking absolutely stunning tonight down the runway," Kiyana had smiled at him as the girls left her alone with him.

"Thank you, I don't know how many compliments I can take for tonight it's getting me all worked up," she said.

Jey observed the scene unfold, his heart sinking as he watched her smile at another man. The sight of her giggling and flirting with someone else stirred a wave of jealousy within him. He realized he couldn't just stand by; he needed to take action.

He tuned into their discussion, eager to decipher the subtle hints the guy was dropping about Kiyana. Jey watched as he drew Kiyana in by her waist, leaning into whisper something in her ear that Jey could almost hear.

"You know I can treat you better than that Uso over there," Aaron whispered pointing directly at Jey.

Kiyana arched an eyebrow, scrutinizing the man as she challenged his motives. "Oh? Is that so? What exactly do you mean by that?" she inquired, her tone sharp, while he let out a soft chuckle in response.

"Let me take you out to dinner sweetheart," he said.

Kiyana and Jey locked eyes, and he gestured for her to join him, wanting to have a private conversation away from the crowd. She informed the man that she would return shortly and moved toward Jey, who gently took her arm and led her away.

Cody and Jimmy exchanged knowing glances as they observed the scene unfolding before them, fully aware that a pivotal moment was on the verge of occurring between the two.

In a deserted hallway, Kiyana abruptly pulled her arm from Jey's grasp, casting him a bewildered look that suggested he had lost his mind.

"The fuck is yo' problem Kiyana?" Jey questioned her.

"What do you mean What is my problem? I haven't done anything wrong," she said.

"You know what the hell I'm talking about Kiyana you got this fool all up in yo' face while I'm here," Kiyana couldn't understand the source of his sudden attitude; after all, he had merely invited her to dinner.

Suddenly, it dawned on her—Jey was feeling jealous. Jealous that another man was engaging with her, particularly if it wasn’t him or her brother Cody. She stood there, arms crossed, shooting him a piercing glance. "Jey, you can't be serious right now! I believed we agreed to live our lives independently and be with whoever we choose in this arrangement."

"But you know yo' ass been mine since you walk into the club you've been mine Kiyana now this bitch ass boy wanna be all over you and you entertaining the shit," She couldn't believe what she was hearing right now.

"What I do with someone is not your damn business Jey just like how I don't be saying shit when you're with Jaida I mind my fucking business so you should do the same hell he could probably treat me better than you can," He felt a profound pain within, but he masked it well. Approaching her, he gently encircled her throat with his hand, locking his gaze onto hers.

"Don't fucking play with me Kiyana saying shit like that knowing I'll fuck yo' shit up," Her emotions begin to blossom as she observes his possessive and dominant nature, as he asserts his claim over her despite the absence of an official relationship.

She was grappling with her emotions regarding him, struggling against the inner turmoil of her feelings. Yet, she had to face the reality that he was already in a relationship. So, what could possibly explain his confusing behavior?

"Really? Probably have to remind me then, like I said whoever I'm with is none of your business—" Kiyana experienced the intensity of his lips pressing against hers, the kiss passionate and fervent as he lifted her by the thighs, carrying her toward his car, completely oblivious to the party around them.

By the time they arrived at his car, he had opened the door and pushed Kiyana into the back seat before slamming the door shut behind him as he began removing his shredded pants and underwear, revealing his dick.

"Take these fucking panties off and hold yo' legs, I'm finna remind you that you're mine and only fucking mine," Jey said with aggression in his voice that send shivers down her spine.

He slipped her dress over her stomach and slammed himself inside of her, causing her to wail loudly as he began giving her his harsh strokes with his hand wrapped around her throat.

"J-Jey..W-wait...fuck," Kiyana moaned.

"Ain't no fucking wait to late for that, I gotta put you in yo' place and you better not run from me either you hear me?" He grunted.

When she didn't respond to him she earned a slap on her left ass cheek causing her to whine, "Yess I hear you I hear you fuckk," she threw her head back in pleasure while Jey was beating up her gummy walls.

Kiyana realized at that moment that he was determined to hold on to this situation with unwavering resolve.

Sneaky Link

uceyjucey, americannightmarecody, aaron_pierre1, and others liked your post.

yanasworld: After Party 😘 uceyjucey: remember you mines mama 🤫 yanasworld: @ uceyjucey I know I'm yours��🖤 americannightmarecody: @ uceyjucey y'all two good? uceyjucey: @ americannightmarecody yeah we good uce aaron_pierre1: damn you're so gorgeous baby 🙂‍↕️ yanasworld: @ aaron_peirre1  thank you 💗 jonathanfatu: you did great out there Kiyana ❤️ yaonlylivonce: period my best friend ate yall up i loved the fashion show bestie 🥹 yanasworld: @ yaonlylivonce thank you bestie 💗 biancabelairwwe: i saw a clip of you and girrrl you looked gorgeous honey trinity_fatu: looking stunning as ever

Read all Comments.

uceyjucey posted on his close friends!

jonathanfatu replied to your close friends: Uce what I say dawg be careful dawg Kiyana does not like to be in drama biancabelairwwe replied to your close friends: Ooop 👀👀 I'm sensing drama??? trinity_fatu replied to your close friends: Jey? What's goin on with you and Kiyana? yaonlylivonce replied to your close friends: sir??? americannightmarecody replied to your close friends; remember what I told you earlier today about my sister romanreigns replied to your close friends: what's happening rn? u ain't fucking with Jaida anymore?

A/n: that dinner is still on the table will Kiyana go to the dinner with Aaron or will her feelings betray her because of Jey? Finna get messy I'll tell you that.

Hope yall enjoy this chapter Lmk in the comments below

STAY UCEY

2.

[beevean]

Idk I think people objections to vivziepop is overblown, she's hard to work with? So was Yuji Naka, She drew problematic art? So did Miura Kentaro and Rebecca Sugar, she said bad things in the past? So did Seth MacFarlane, she didn't groom any minors or assaulted someone like the Rick and Morty guy or the Red and Stimpy guy

Fun fact, a friend and I today tried to read the "controversies" page on Vivziepop.

And it's. Bad. As in, I refuse to believe anyone older than 20 wrote it.

Some of the claims have sources. Not all of them, though. Case in point, this gem:

Grooming Allegations On January 19th XXXX, Vivziepop has been accused of grooming a 14-year-old. (Needs citation)

Or this one

It is also worth noting that Vivzie supports Zone Tan, who is infamous for being a child predator who used a real child's voice for his child porn. It was also shown that Vivziepop directly interacted with Zone.

(wow, that sounds like a serious accusation! source?)

(also please it's not child porn, it's CSEM if it involves a real child)

Other parts come off as edit wars:

The drama died down after a couple days when a decent number current of SpindleHorse members, such as Sam Haft, Monica Franco, HorrorFreak, and more talked about their positive experiences, and some were convinced that the accusations were exaggerated or lies.

Erin Frost returned yet again in November. At this point, many are sick of her continued attempts at showing what she considers proof of her mistreatment, especially since she shamed others who won't stand with her, calling them "spineless" and sharing private messages without their consent. To a large portion of people, Erin Frost is not the innocent victim she claims to be and is attempting to twist the situation so that she comes out looking more sympathetic than she actually is

And then we get the absolute petty shit:

Improper Representation of Sexual Assault In one of the episodes of Hazbin Hotel, there have been some criticism about how sexual assault has been treated, as one of the chatacters, Husk, would tell Angel Dust that the latter will "get over it", even though Angel Dust has experiences with being sexually assaulted by Valentino, which is one of the things you should never say to a person who suffers from PTSD/Trauma.

Not even touching the yet again misconception that Loser Baby is a victim blaming song... This is a lie. Husk never once utters the words "get over it". This should be edited out immediately. Checking the source, it was badly paraphrased by a Tumblr post badly paraphrasing it in bad faith.

It was then revealed that Vivziepop also supported a Twitter user named "Raphielle", who is an NSFW artist that actively makes art of non-con/rape of Valentino and Angel (in which Valentino is the abuser, and Angel Dust as a victim of Val), with Raphielle even supporting said ship despite it being toxic and very wrong.

"and very wrong", how old are you?

Also I don't see the issue? Valentino abusing Angel is canon. And if Raphielle animated Poison, kudos to them for such a raw portrayal of abuse.

What makes it worse that Raph romanticizes it as well, despite mentioning that he has dealt with being repressed and being controlled, which is not a good excuse of drawing rape porn, in which Raph constantly fetishizes it.

Now this has just turned into a Twitter thread.

Supporting of Proshipping Like said before, while she has supported Raphielle, who supports non-con/rape ship of Valentino and Angel Dust, Vivziepop has also be revealed to have sexualized Morty from an adult animated TV show called "Rick and Morty" (in which Morty is 14-years-old, mind you). Vivziepop would even go as far as to ship Morty with Rick Sanchez (who is Morty's 70-year-old Adoptive grandfather).

Perish the thought.

The source of Vivzie following "bad people" is exactly what you would expect: the main accusation is that she follows porn artists with a fat fetish. Tagged as "csa" to boot. You people wouldn't have survived a day on DeviantART ffs.

And this is the cherry on top:

"Hey maybe this page should be written in a professional manner."

"HOW DARE YOU DEFEND A SHIT PERSON"

yeah you sure a person I can trust with handling delicate information!

Basically, I can't take this seriously. Again, I checked some sources, mainly the transmisandry ones, and sadly they look legit. The complaints about HH are however asinine to the point that the whole page loses credibility.

I won't get into this matter because I don't want to get involved into this year-long discourse more than necessary. I won't respond to anything related to Vivziepop again. But I wanted to vent because I hate when people are accused of being pedophiles/child molesters/abusers because they follow people who draw Sonic porn or they support people with a non-fluffy ship. Get over yourselves, and stick to the actually harmful stuff.

[cursed-spirit-manipulation]

lot of ppl upset abt the lack of. Any Real Acknowledgement of Gojo dying and I'm not saying they're wrong but I did realize that I think that's pretty much just how JJK is. Like Riko died. Anyway. Kuroi maybe? We don't know. Haibara died. Ok. Geto died. Like that's a big part of the plot but Gojo doesn't tell the first years SHIT about him. They just know there's a weird monk fucking everything up (and that's fucking Kenjaku lmao). Nanako and Mimiko. Nanako and fucking Mimiko. Like I'm not saying this is... Okay I'm mad about Riko bc like. She's a big part of the reason Geto BECAME A MASS MURDERER I'd enjoy if he mourned her more. I JUST REMEBERED THAT YUKI DIED. And Choso. ANYWAY I don't think this is Terrible Storytelling bc it does feel indicative of the way Jujutsu Society treats sorcerers (and potentialy civilians) where you're just expected to fucking Move Along. And I think there might be something genuine in Gojo, being a part of that system, still feeling like what he wants is to fade away after he dies, arguably showing that in the end he is the same as everyone else, he's human, he's mortal. And that being both a genuine desire and warped coping mechanism, and the way that's hard to truly parse. But also it does kinda sucks when the characters seem to straight up Forget the ppl who died... Like. Sorry I just got so mad Abt Larue and Miguel and THEY DONT EVEN TALK ABOUT NANAKO AND MIMIKO? TBEY TALK ABOUU MISSING GETO BUT WE CANT GET A SINGLE FUCKING MENTION OF HIS GOD DAMN DAUGHTERS? anyway the treatment of death in JJK is a good Foundation for themes and emotional resonance but uhhh Gege kinda sucks at writing so it's. It's eh

[sympathytea]

Fun fic related stuff about the diamond sword goobers below CW for: References to body horror, paranoia and a bit of unreality? hopefully using that word right

So keen eyed viewers might notice that this image has..some things in it that are a bit off. Most obvious one being Ferre, so we'll start with him. (And how convenient! He's first in line!) Ferre in my fic's universe has respawned more than a few times. Less than Evbo overall but did it over a longer period of time. Respawning in my fic has some consequences if you do it too many times. Kinda like Emesis Blue's respawn machine but not as heavy into the body horror. We're still getting into body horror territory, but nothing super extreme. Think of say, zombification. Or perhaps vampirism. A little bit of both. Its a bit hard to tell (mostly my fault for overshading him whoops.) but Ferre's skin has started to turn grey-ish in some places. Its blotchy. Scars and sewn parts of his clothes are typical of respawning, but the skin turning grey is not. We're gonna simplify this and call this process Respawn Degradation. Respawn Degradation is not fully understood, mainly because Ferre is the only lad who is actively experimenting with it (until Evbo comes around, who is also, undergoing said degradation) He documents his work in a language that only he and MinuteTech can read. Wemmbu and Julie cannot read their work, and probably shouldn't for their own sake. The way Ferre figures this stuff out is disconcerting to put it lightly. Ferre is handling this about as well as one can handle something like this happening against their will, and still has an active support group now that he is on the diamond sword level, its still not great. Just because he's stopped respawning as often doesn't make the process stop happening.

Ferre's ears look similar to MinuteTech's, and that's on purpose. MinuteTech's species is a shade, rather than a human. They come in a few varieties, and are locked to the grayscale in terms of skin color. Shades always have white eyes, and while MinuteTech resembles smoke, they can be fluffy, smooth or scaled. I'm probably gonna make them their own post. The final form of full Respawn Degradation, according to Ferre is highly suspected to be a shade. Shades naturally spawn into various civilizations, but Ferre notes that this probably isn't the only way they can occur. He's dreading the day he loses his humanity fully, but his friends that he considers his family loves him regardless, even if he thinks otherwise. MinuteTech reminds him that he isn't alone, even if he doesn't fully understand what he's actually going through. Speaking of not fully understanding..

Wemmbu is an interesting case. I have partially made them out of character, mainly because when I was characterizing him, I was going off of the finale and the gold sword level interaction. But he's still a supportive friend and sociable, but quieter and less likely to suggest bad ideas. Being the defacto therapist friend of the group, he talks with their friends and offers up advice where he can, although their knowledge is pretty thoroughly limited and also, not as reliable as it may appear. Wemmbu is also, notorious for not taking their own advice. He tends to keep to themself. And also never tells anyone anything about whats going on with him and handles himself by taking sips of slowfall potions every now and then as a form of self medicating. They've all murdered to get to paradise, but Wemmbu took the rules of the sword civilization horribly. Someone with as much compassion and empathy for others simply should not be able to handle doing the things he did. But he did them anyway. Occasionally hearing whispers, and seeing things out of the corner of his eye, feeling hands where there aren't. For awhile Wemmbu rationalized this as "being haunted". It wasn't. Despite being in a place that is safe, he sees danger where there isn't any. And when they first met Ferre, Wemmbu wasn't in as good of a spot as he is now. Occasionally hallucinations will get worse, sometimes they go away for awhile. Its generally not easy to tell what is actually there and what isn't. How do they cope with this? Writing everything. Anything. Small things, details, anything to make it easier to differentiate between reality and fabrications created by the mind. This isn't foolproof, but its been working for them so far. Wemmbu takes notes on his friends, too. This in turn also helps stave off things that don't seem to align with how they are established within their interactions. "Julie is clearly planning to poison me one day!!!" Why would she do that? She cares about him. There was nothing that would indicate this before. Disregarded. "I think Mint is planning to kill us all and run away for another civilization." Definitely not. He's insecure about that even becoming a possibility. Ignored. "Ferre is going to jump off of something. I just know it. I feel it." While he does relapse once in awhile, they know the signs of that coming when they see it. Put on hold. In the background of the image there's a faint shadow, isn't there? Its not actually there. Julie would've most certainly noticed since its pretty close to her. Its still worth documenting the appearance of it, or lack thereof. To make it less scary if it comes back later. Disclaimer btw: My writing isn't perfect. Nobody is, really. So hopefully how I characterize Wemmbu is. Okay at worst? I've personally had occasional tactile hallucinations and paranoid thoughts, but I'm not a medical expert and thus not. particularly diagnosing him with anything specific. Mainly because I too, am not diagnosed with anything specific for this. Funny, isn't it. There are things planned for Julie and MinuteTech (who goes by many nicknames in the group, for fun) but this reblog is already kinda dragging? So perhaps they'll be a future post. Preferrably not a meme one.

To explain the crime i've just committed: Drew the diamond swords in a row because I thought it would be cute. Added the color band that appeared in the diamond sword level. Realized I accidentally made Weezer's blue album cover. Went through all 5 stages of grief. Decided to double down and add the font in there for good measure because there was no way I could unsee this. You have to live with this now.

[fakecrfan]

I know most people on here don't like to go to the gym because you're all gay nerds. I like to go to the gym. For the purpose of understanding this post please try to imagine that you, too, enjoy going to the gym so that you can empathize with my point here.

Anyway, so imagine you are going to the gym. You're pumped about the concept of getting some muscle on you. Plus, the gym has this "lift weights every day!" challenge with a feasible plan to slowly and safely increase the amount of weight you can lift by the end of the month. Cool!

So anyway you go there, and you're having a good time. But then you notice something. Some people are coming in with these guys in shirts that say LIFT FOR HIRE. You're curious, and you notice over time that some people are actually paying these guys to come in and do the lifting challenge for them.

"Huh," you say to your mega hot, muscled gym buddy. "That's so weird. What's in it for the people paying these guys?"

"Dunno," says your friend, mid bicep curl.

"Um, actually!" says the gym owner. "Some people are disabled, so the only way they can lift weights it to pay LIFT FOR HIRE, inc."

"But wait," you say. "They still aren't lifting the weights though? Paying someone else to lift for you doesn't mean you've lifted the weights."

The gym owner gasps. "How could you SAY that?"

"Because... it's true?" you say. "Uh, if you pay guys to lift your weights, that's probably really good for the guys you are paying. But it's not going to develop your ability to lift at all. Your muscles aren't going to grow, you're just going to lose money and get no results."

"That's ABLEIST," they say. "How DARE you! Some people are LITERALLY paralyzed, did you think of that?"

"Well, yeah, some people are, and that means definitionally they can't lift weights," you explain. "And paying someone else doesn't change that. Maybe if they wanted to like, move something in their house it would make total sense to hire these guys! But if you hire them to do your workout you get nothing, because the purpose of a workout is personal development. I'm not morally condemning people who do it, but it seems like a waste of money when this event is, again, about improving one's personal abilities."

"This is absolutely DISGUSTING, CLASSIST rhetoric!" the gym owner roars, and then turns to one of the LIFT FOR HIRE guys, "Pay no attention this disgusting person, dear sponsor, we support your business and we totally want you to keep funding our gym!"

"Sponsor?" says your hot muscled friend who was way too busy actually doing their workout and getting gains to engage in dumb discourse. "Oh, now it makes sense."

"Shut up, you don't understand our love!" says the gym owner, before sloppily making out with a LIFT FOR HIRE guy in front of you.

Anyway, that's what learning about the whole AI nanowrimo controversy was like for me.

[arminsumi]

Betting your girl's mouth on a basketball game was crazy — and Suguru was all for it.

After taking a loss that may or may not have been deliberate, jock!Suguru wears a dirty grin on his face while watching you suck his best friends virgin cock like a good girl, loving the nasty wet noises you make while slurping up and down nerd!Satoru's pulsing shaft, slowly stroking himself to the sight of you on your knees, making cock disappear in your mouth like magic.

And Satoru — the poor boy — is losing his mind because he's never felt a woman's lips around his dummy big cock before. He used to tell you that sex is beneath him — now he's throwing his head back, gritting his pearly whites, curling his toes and biting his bottom lip 'till it's all red, totally surrendering to your little mouth — it's just so funny to you, 'cause he's been the know-it-all bastard telling you "... you're just Suguru's slut. If you paid as much attention in class as you did to my best friend's dick, maybe you'd amount to something. Do you even remember what we learned yesterday? Exactly. But I do — that's why I'm the top student and you're just — "

Bla bla bla... Satoru's now showing you how much precum his dummy big cock leaks — it's a sticky mess oozing out of his tip all over your quivering tongue. You looked up at him and winked, and he seethed inside because god he's hated you for so long but now your lips are wrapped around his cock and your mouth is taking him to heaven.

He's whining, biting into his fist, knees all wobbly. the texture of your tongue drives him nuts — then it clicks. oh, this is why my best friend is obsessed with his girlfriend. This is why he can't shut up and stop oversharing his sex life with me.

'Cause heaven really does exist on her tongue.

"fuck, slow down..." Satoru tries to ease his cock out your mouth, feeling his orgasm threatening to erupt at any moment.

But Suguru pushes you back down on his cock, filling your cheeks again, "nah, keep going baby, he's gonna cum — aren't you Satoru? You're gonna cum in my girl's mouth, huh? Come on, big boy, I know how long you've wanted this. Fill this little slut's mouth with your cum."

Those taunting words push him over the edge. His heavy balls tighten up as he feels you suckling his swollen head, and then white ropes come bursting out.

"Ahh—gh! Fuck... nn!"

Satoru's legs give out and he moans like you've never heard a man moan before, releasing all the cum he's worked up for you like he's been waiting years to do this. Actually, he has been waiting years — waiting patiently to find an opportunity to make your jaw ache and eyes well up with tears.

"Baby, you gonna swallow my best friend's cum f'me?" Suguru encourages, stroking his cock lazily against your cheek now.

He watches you compliantly swallow Satoru's seed, and Satoru twitches at the sight.

Huffing, Satoru comes down from his high and brushes his white wispy bangs out of his eyes. He's glaring down at your mouth.

"... still fucking hate you... " Satoru mutters to you in a voice still shaky with the after-effects of his orgasm.

"I still hate you, too." you smile back at him.

His heart flutters and bottom lip twitches. He can't stop staring at your lips, your eyes, your hips, your thighs.

"Ah, Satoru, quit your act — you're the one who proposed this idea in the first place."

You went red in the face. It was Satoru's idea? The mister goody-two-shoes, know-it-all, all A+++ report cards, 'sex is beneath me' Satoru?

"Huh? I thought this was your idea..." but before you can express your surprise you're already feeling Suguru nudge his cockhead against your lips.

"Sh sh, now it's my turn, baby. Open wide."

[ms-demeanor]

Friends, I think we need to talk about Covid.

I want to get a few caveats out there before I start:

I am aware that there are people who need to exercise extreme caution about Covid; I live with someone who has two solid organ transplants and who is at the most immune compromised level of immune compromised. *I* have to be extremely cautious about covid.

Masking does prevent a certain level of transmission, and people who think they may have covid should mask and people who are concerned that they may be at high risk for covid should mask.

You should be vaccinated and boosted with the most recent vaccines that are available to you; covid is highly transmissible and very serious, you do not want to get covid and if you do get covid you don't want it to be severe and if you do get covid you don't want to give someone else covid and up-to-date vaccinations are the best way to reduce transmission and help to prevent severe cases of Covid.

We should be testing before going to any gatherings, and informing people if we test positive after gatherings, and testing if we suspect we have been exposed.

It is bullshit that there aren't good protections for workers who have covid; you should not be expected to go to work when you are testing positive

It is bullshit that people who are testing positive are not isolating for other reasons; if you have Covid you should not be going out and exposing other people to it even if you are experiencing mild symptoms or no symptoms.

We do need better ventilation systems for many kinds of spaces. Schools need better ventilation, restaurants need better ventilation, doctor's offices and hospitals and office buildings need better ventilation and better ventilation can reduce covid transmission.

I want to make it clear that Covid is real and there are real steps that individuals and systems can take to prevent transmission, and that there are systems that are exerting pressures that needlessly expose people to covid (the fact that you can lose your job if you don't come in when you're testing positive, mainly; also the fact that covid rapid tests should be ubiquitous and cheap/free and are not).

All of that being said: I'm seeing some posts circulating about how we're at an extremely high level of transmission and the REAL pandemic is being hidden from us and, friends, I'm pretty sure that is just incorrect and we're spreading misinformation.

I'm thinking of this video in particular, in which the claim is made that "your mystery illness is covid" in spite of negative tests. The guy in the video says that there's nothing else that millions of people could be getting a day, and that he predicted this because a wastewater spike in December meant that there was a huge spike in cases.

I've also seen people saying that deaths are where they were in 2021-2022, and that we're still at "a 9/11 a week" of excess deaths and friends, I'm not seeing great evidence for any of these claims.

I know that we (in the US, which is where the numbers I'm going to be citing are from) feel abandoned by the CDC and the fact that tracking cut off in May of 2023. But that only cut off for the federal tracking.

I live in LA county and LA county sure as shit is still tracking Covid.

If you want a clearer picture, you can see the daily case count over time compared to the daily death count:

Okay, you might say, but that's just LA.

Alright, so here's Detroit:

Right, but maybe that's CDC data and you don't trust the CDC at this point.

Okay, here's fatalities in New York tracked through New York's state data collection:

It's harder to toggle around the site for South Dakota, but you can compare their cases and hospitalizations and deaths for early 2022

To cases and hospitalizations and deaths from early 2024

And see that there's really no comparison.

Okay, you might say, but people are testing less. If they're testing less of course we're not seeing spikes, and they're testing less because fewer tests are available.

Alright, people are definitely testing less than they were in 2021 and 2022. Hospitalization for Covid is probably the most clear metric because you know those people have covid for sure, the couldn't not test for it.

Here are hospitalizations over time for LA:

Here are hospitalizations over time for New York:

As vaccination rates have gone up, cases, deaths, and hospitalizations have gone down. It IS clear that there are case spikes in the winter, when it is cold and people are indoors in poorly ventilated spaces and people are more susceptible to respiratory infections as a result of cold air weakening the protection offered by our mucous membranes, and that is something that we will have to take precautions about for the forseeable future, just as we should have always been taking similar precautions during flu season.

So I want to go point-by-point through some of the arguments made in that video because I'm seeing a bunch of people talking about how "THEY" don't want you to know about the virus surge and buds that is just straight up conspiracism.

So okay, first off, most of what that video is based on is spikes in wastewater data, not spikes in cases. This is because people don't trust CDC data on cases, but I'd say to maybe check out your regional data on cases. I don't actually trust the CDC that much, but I know people who do tracking of hospitalizations in LA county, I trust them a lot more. Wastewater data does correlate with increases in cases, but this "second largest spike of the entire pandemic" thing is misleading; wastewater reporting is pretty highly variable and you can't just accept that a large spike in covid in wastewater means that we're in just as bad a place in the pandemic as we were in 2022. We simply have not seen the surge of hospitalizations and deaths that we would expect to see in the weeks following that spike in wastewater data if wastewater data was reflective of community transmission.

The next claim is that "there is nothing else that is infecting millions of people a day" and covid isn't doing that either. The highest daily case rates were in January of 2021 and they were in the 865k a day range, which is ridiculously high but isn't millions of cases a day.

But what we can see is that when people are tested by their doctors for Covid, RSV, and the Flu, more tests are coming back positive for the Flu. Covid causes more hospitalizations than the other two illnesses, but to be honest what the people in the video are describing - lightheadedness, dizziness, exhaustion - just sound like pretty standard symptoms of everything from covid to the cold to allergies. There are lots of things your mystery illness could be.

The video goes on to talk about the fact that people aren't testing, and why their tests may be coming back negative and I'd like to point out that the same things are all true of Flu or RSV tests. People might be getting tested too early or too late; getting a negative test for the flu isn't a good reason to assume you've got covid, getting a negative test for covid isn't a good reason to assume you've got the flu, and testing for viruses as a whole is imperfect. There are hundreds of viruses that could be the common cold; there are multiple viruses that can cause bronchitis; there are multiple viruses that can cause pneumonia, and you're not going to test for all of these things the moment you start feeling sick.

He then recommends testing for multiple days if you have symptoms and haven't had a positive test (fine) and talks about the location of the tests (less fine). Don't use your rapid tests to swab your throat or cheek unless it specifically says that they are designed to do so. Test based on the instructions in the packet.

He points out that the tests probably still pick up on the virus because they're not testing for the spike protein, they're testing for the RNA (good info!)

The video then discusses something that I think is really key to this paranoia about the "mystery illnesses" - he talks about how covid changes and weakens your immune system (a statement that should come with many caveats about severity and vulnerability and that we are still researching that) and then says that it makes you more susceptible to strep or mono and that "things that used to clear in a day or two now hit you really hard."

And that's where I think this anxiety is coming from.

Strep throat lasts anywhere from three days to a week. A cold takes about a week to clear. The flu lasts about a week and can knock you on your ass with exhaustion for weeks depending on how bad you get it. Did you get a cough with your cold? Expect that to take anywhere from three to eight weeks to clear up.

I think that people are thinking "i got a bad virus and felt really sick for a week and haven't gotten my energy back" but that just sounds like a bad cold. That sounds like a potent allergy attack. That doesn't even sound like a bad flu (I got a bad flu in 2009 and thought i was going to straight-up die I had a fever of 103+ for three days and felt like shit for three days on either side of that and took six weeks to feel more like myself again).

Getting sick sucks. It really, really sucks. But if you're getting sick and you're testing for covid and it's coming back negative after you tested a few times, it's almost certainly not covid.

The video then says "until someone provides evidence that it's not covid, it should be assumed to be covid because we have record levels of covid it's that simple" but that's not simple. We don't have record levels of covid and he hasn't proved it. We have record high levels of wastewater reports of covid, which correlates with covid cases but the spike in wastewater noted in december didn't see a spike with a corresponding magnitude of cases in terms of either hospitalizations or deaths, which is what we'd have seen if we had actual record numbers of covid.

He says that if you want to ignore this, you'll get sick with covid, and that about 30-40% of the US just got sick with covid in the last four months (which is a RIDICULOUSLY unevidenced claim).

He says that we need to create a new normal that takes covid into account, which means masking more often and testing more often and making choices about risk-avoidant behaviors.

Now, I don't disagree with that last statement, but he prefaces the statement with "it doesn't necessarily mean lockdown" and that's where I think the alarmism and paranoia is really visible here. We are so, so far away from "lockdown" type levels that it's absurd to discuss lockdown here.

What I'm seeing right now is people who are chronically ill, people who are immune compromised, and people who are experiencing long covid (which may not be distinct from other post-viral syndromes from severe cases of flu, etc, but which may be more severe or more notable because of the prevalence of covid) are talking about feeling abandoned and attacked and left behind by society because covid is still out there, and still at extremely high levels.

I am seeing people who feel abandoned and attacked because the lgbtq+ events they are attending don't require masking. I am seeing people who are claiming that it is eugenicist that their schools don't have a negative test policy anymore.

And this comes together into two really disconcerting trends that I've been observing online for a while.

The claim that the pandemic is still as bad as it's ever been and in fact may be worse but we can't know that because "they" (the CDC, the government, capitalist institutions that want you back in the office, the university industrial complex that wants your dorm room dollars) are covering up the numbers and

Significant grievance at the fact that people are acting like number one is not true and are putting you at risk either out of thoughtlessness (because they don't realize they're putting you at risk) or malice (because they don't care if the sick die).

And those things are a recipe for disaster.

I think I've pretty robustly addressed point one; I don't think that there's good evidence that there's a secretly awful surge of covid that nobody is talking about. I think that there are some people who are being alarmist about covid who are basing all of their concern on wastewater numbers that have not held up as the harbinger of a massive wave of infections.

So let's talk about point number two and JK Rowling.

Barnes and Noble is not attacking you when it puts up a Hogwarts Castle display in the lobby. Your favorite youtuber isn't trying to hurt you when they offhandedly mention Harry Potter.

If you let every mention of Harry Potter or every person who enjoys that media franchise wound you, you are going to spend a lot of your time wounded.

People are not liking Harry Potter at you.

Okay.

People are also not not wearing masks at you.

You may be part of a minority group that experiences the potential for outsized harm as a result of majority groups engaging in perfectly reasonable behaviors.

There are kind, well-meaning, sensible people who go out every day and do something that may cause you harm and it's not because they want to hurt you or they don't care about whether you live or die, it is because they are making their own risk assessments based on their own lives and making the very reasonable assumption that people who are more concerned about covid than they are will take precautions to keep themselves safe.

We are not at a place in the pandemic where it is sensible to expect people with no symptoms of illness to mask in public as a matter of course or to present evidence of a recent negative test when entering a public building in their day-to-day life.

I think now is a really good time to sit down and ask yourself how you expect things to be with covid as an endemic part of our viral ecosystem. I think now is a good time to ask yourself what risk realistically looks like for you and for people who are unlike you. I think now is a good time to consider what would feel "safe" for you and how you could accomplish feeling safe as you navigate the world.

I'm probably going to continue masking in most indoor spaces for years. Maybe forever. There are accommodations that SHOULD be afforded to people who have to take more precautions than others (remote learning, remote visits, remote work, etc.), and we should demand those kinds of accommodations.

But it is going to poison you from the inside out if you are perpetually angry that people who don't have the same medical limitations as you are happy that they get to go shopping with their faces uncovered.

So now I want to talk to you about my father in law.

My father in law had a bone marrow transplant in 2015. That's the most immune compromised you can get without having your organs swapped out.

The care sheet for him after the transplant was a little overwhelming. The list of foods he couldn't eat was intimidating and the limitations on where he could go was depressing. It cautioned against going to large events, it recommended outdoor gatherings where possible but only if he could avoid sunlight and was somewhere with no history of valley fever. It said that he should wear masks indoors any time he was someplace with poor ventilation and that he should avoid contact with anyone who had an illness of any kind, taking special note to avoid children and anyone recently vaccinated for measles.

It was, in short, pretty much what someone immune compromised would need to do to try to avoid a viral infection. Sensible. Reasonable. Wash your hands and social distance; wear masks in sensitive contexts and don't spend time in enclosed places with people who have a communicable illness.

This is what life was always going to be like for people who are severely immune compromised, and it was always going to be incumbent upon the person with the illness to figure out how to operate in a society that is not built with them in mind.

It is not the job of every parent I encounter to tell me whether their child has been vaccinated against measles or chicken pox in the last three months. That isn't something that people need to do as part of their everyday life. However it IS my responsibility to check with the parents I'm hanging out with whether their children have been vaccinated against measles or chicken pox in the last three months so I know if it's safe for my immune compromised spouse to be around them.

If you want an environment in which you feel safe from covid, at this point in the pandemic (when the virus is endemic and not spreading rapidly as far as we can see from case counts) it is your responsibility to take the steps necessary to make you feel safe. Some of those steps will involve advocating for safety improvements in public spaces (again, indoor ventilation needs to be better and I'm personally pretty extreme about vaccination requirements; these are things we should be discussing in our school board meetings and at our workplaces), some of those steps will involve advocating for worker protections, guaranteed sick time, and the right to healthcare. But some of the things you're going to need to do to feel safe are going to come down to you.

If you are concerned about communicable diseases you have to be realistic about the fact that our society doesn't go out of its way to prevent communicable diseases - norovirus among food service workers pre-pandemic is pretty clear evidence of that. You are going to have to be proactive about your safety rather than expecting the world to act like Covid is at 2021-2022 levels when it is measurably not.

[winnie1emon]

✧.* now what happens when you find a frustrated theodore nott on the quidditch pitch...?

theodore nott x prefect!lamb!reader (fem pov)

word count: approx. 2.4k

cw: MDNI!!, smut, dom!theo, innocent!reader, sexual language, praise, piv, fingering, unprotected sex, face painting lmao, slight exhibitionism(?)(on the quidditch stands lol)

a/n: first smut fic like ever i fear... don't bully please </3 + been working on this sleep-deprived, lmk about spelling mistakes :(

"Hey- hey!" you said loudly over the raging music, leaning over your friend's shoulder. "I'm gonna go; got prefect duty!"

Your friend, too engrossed in your house's quidditch victory party after they had beaten Slytherin earlier that evening, gave you a mere nod before realizing you actually said something. "Really? There are other prefects out anyways and you never find anyone. Don't be lame, just stay!"

"No, it's fine. I like walking outside anyways, it's fun," you explained, garnering a rather dismissive wave goodbye from your friend.

You trudged down the corridors searching for the way out of the castle. Curfew was approaching and you were given the task of finding a few stragglers outdoors; a task you most appreciated due to the fact you'd never find anybody and you were usually lucky with receiving ample amounts of good weather.

Too comfortable with the usual, you spent most of your patrol time frolicking on the grassy fields and never looked too carefully for any students. You were about to head back inside when you saw the broom shed's door open. Curiously, you peered inside and nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary...

A bit daunted, you closed the door and suddenly saw movement in the corner of your eye. You whipped around quickly, seeing someone flying on the quidditch pitch. You made your way into the pitch, assuming it was some overzealous lowerclassman riding on their broomstick.

As you made your way into the pitch, you realized how large it really was, somewhat awestruck. Hearing a distressed grunt, you turned around and saw the person who was flying, quite a distance away, chuck their broom onto the ground. You hastened over and the image came into view. Their brunette waves became clearer with each step you took and you managed to get their attention.

"H-hey!" You waved. You came to a stop in front of them, slightly huffing as they looked at you acutely. "Theodore, it's curfew in like... oh, two minutes ago."

Theodore raised an eyebrow at your words, seeming as if he had no idea who you were. "What?" he asked you, even though he heard what you said.

"It's past curfew, you can't be here," you said patiently. "What are you even doing here?"

"What's it look like?" he retorted. "Practicing," he added before you could answer his rhetoric question.

"Well... you should practice tomorrow. You already had that game today, you should take a break," you suggested.

He gave you what was probably the most condescending look ever, roaming over your figure. "Yeah, and we lost, princess. Need to practice."

"Don't overwork yourself," you said, your voice tinged with concern. "You were great today, I saw!"

"Mhm, probably cheering on your house, yeah?" he sneered. "Just get lost, I'm not harmin' anyone by practicing, but you're going to tell someone aren't you?" He looked a bit taut and you couldn't help but feel a bit of pity for him. After all, he wasn't the worst player on his team yet he was the only one here practicing, probably losing hairs in the process.

"No, I won't tell anyone," you said quickly. "You look exhausted though. At least sit down." You trailed all the way to one of the tall wooden towers going up to the quidditch spectator stands, feeling the wooden bench poke your thighs. Surprisingly, he sat beside you on your right with a grunt, running his hands through his hair.

Well, now what.

You peered at him in wonderment as his gaze was set straight, admiring his birthmark. Your eyes trailed around the side of his face, looking at his thick, dark brows and then at his slightly unkempt hair. He turned suddenly to face you and you darted your head away, embarrassed. He let out a small scoff, throwing his head down in a smirk.

"So," you started. "You like quidditch?" you asked dumbly. He obviously did... he plays.

"I do," he responded. "When we win."

"You guys almost did," you consoled him, tentatively reaching to rub his shoulder.

Theodore didn't protest, finding the way your palm's touch warmed his shoulder unexpectedly comforting. He looked at your seemingly apologetic face before his eyes wandered down your form, going from your neck and then down to your legs.

"Mm, almost."

Fidgeting with your fingers, you spoke up again. "Yeah, almost! Almost is good!" You reassured him. "Don't beat yourself up-- you're already so stressed." You recalled the instances in class where he'd focus on his work, the times you saw him in the library as you patrolled the halls, and the way he never seemed to hang out with his friends this past week.

"Oh princess," he said, calling you that nickname again, making you turn a light shade of pink. "When has almost winning ever helped anyone? What can I do about the stress? Nothing's going to change if I don't work." He gave a nonchalant shrug, breaking contact with your sorry eyes as he buried his head in his hands.

"Uhm... I mean, do you want help?" You peered at him, wide-eyed and full of pity.

--------------------------------------------------------

And that's how you found yourself sitting on the open quidditch stands, thighs squeezed together with your head downcast as Theodore rubbed lazy circles over your underwear.

"I-I don't really see how this is supposed to help you," you mumbled.

He used his other hand to hold your chin gently, guiding your head to face him. "You think seeing a pretty girl like you lookin' like this doesn't help me?" he simpered. You felt your face heat up from the compliment, shifting your thighs to press against each other some more.

He let go of your chin and you looked down to watch him spread your thighs apart gently. Despite never being his friend, his touch felt familiar, even soothing. In fact, you didn't protest against him, even when you felt him slip your underwear to the side and insert a thick finger into your cunt.

Your mouth agape, you turned to look at him, brows knitting together as he met your gaze with a lascivious smile. You pressed your lips together to try and catch your breath, but it only lasted a few seconds as your lips parted once he entered another digit into you. He moved slowly, not taking his eyes off of yours, drinking in your dazed look.

You felt his pace increase, his fingers going in and out of your now glossy cunt rapidly, and let out a shaky moan which made Theodore's mouth contort in a wicked smile. You threw your head back, looking up at the greying sky. He leaned closer to you, his warm breath hitting your ear as he whispered.

"Feels good, yeah? Feels good to help me decompress hm?" He asked you quietly, having you squirm from his touch. You nodded meekly and let out a small yeah in response.

You had never experienced anything like this before. You were sort of scared, but also excited... maybe a bit confused? ...happy to help?

His touch eventually slowed, his two now-soaked fingers leaving your cunt as he held them up in front of you. Your eyes followed his fingers, your face turning into that of surprise as he brought his fingers into his mouth momentarily.

"So sweet..." he breathed out. "Come on, open up," he slapped your cheek lightly with his clean hand.

You opened your mouth slightly, your eyes looking reluctant.

"Come on, don't be scared," he cooed. You opened a little wider and he gently placed the two fingers on your tongue. You swirled your tongue around slowly, tasting sweet, kind of salty as well, but you weren't sure if that was you or his fingers. Taking in your appearance with his fingers in your mouth, he gave a breathy chuckle. "Cute."

He stood up from the bench with a sigh, taking a step in front of you. "Just one more thing, that okay?" he asked, the corners of his mouth curving into a smile.

"Yeah- yeah sure," you agreed. Even though you were unfamiliar with what you guys were doing, you were just glad you could help him out in some way.

"Good girl. --Has anyone told you how sweet you are?" He leaned forward slightly and cupped your cheeks to tilt your head upwards as you stayed seated on the bench.

"Some people, mhm," you nodded.

"Well, they weren't lying." He complimented you casually, making your stomach lurch in an oddly pleasant way. You adverted your gaze so you could soak in his compliment, your head then snapping up at the sound of a zipper. He gave you a wink that you'd be thinking about for the next week and a dazzling smile that you couldn't protest against.

He guided your legs up off the ground so you'd be kneeling on the stands bench and turned you around, having you facing opposite of the center of the quidditch pitch, towards the castle. Your eyes widened from the circumstances, the risk of being so exposed. You heard him shuffle a little behind you, the sound of his pants going down, boxers following.

You felt one of his cold fingers brush against your skin as he pushed your skirt up, making you shudder. He pulled your sodden underwear down and you heard him take a sharp inhale. His fingers ran over your folds, eliciting a groan from him. "You're so wet... n' you've never done this?" he asked you.

You shook your head, making him sigh.

"And you really want to give this to me?"

"Yeah, I do," you muttered quietly. You didn't care that it was Theodore, you just saw him as someone who needed some help and you were going to give it to them... Oh, who were you kidding? Of course you cared that it was Theodore. The Slytherin that you'd always catch yourself ogling at during the quidditch games, the one you'd stare at in potions, the guy you'd hold the door open for before Charms class.

Seeing no reason to delay his pleasure, Theodore positioned himself between your legs, holding your waist from behind as he pushed the tip of his cock into your ready cunt. You couldn't help the large gasp you let out while he stretched you out. You tried to recuperate momentarily, but he continued to enter you slowly, feeling as if there was no end.

"Fuck, you feel so good," he murmured. He slid in and out of you slowly, picking up the pace over time before you started to let out involuntary moans.

"Theo- Theodore," you huffed out, almost whining. "The castle-- someone could see us," you worried.

His pace becoming incontinent, he brushed off your concern with ease. "No one will, okay?"

Even with his reassurance, you couldn't help but feel sheepish, your anxiety spiking as the thrill got to you.

"Oh my g-god," you moaned. Theodore leaned into your back, head resting on the nape of your shoulder. He snaked his arm on your other shoulder, putting you in a headlock. You brought your hands up to hold his arm, your mind going blank as he started up a relentless speed on you and had his other arm travel down to rub on your clit.

"Shh, shh," he whispered. "Now they will see us if you don't quiet down, yeah?" You nodded in agreement, understanding that you mustn't be loud. After a few minutes of biting back your moans as he drilled into you, he positioned you to lie on your back, on one of the benches. You complied and allowed him to reposition himself into you.

"F-fuck!" You mewled, unable to contain yourself in the new position.

"Shh, shh, shhh..." he shushed you once again, covering your mouth with a large hand as the other held both of your legs against his chest. "Be quiet for me, okay? You can do it," he murmured into your ear, leaning forward to kiss your cheek.

You nodded slowly as you looked up at him when he pulled his head away from you. "Good... so good."

So entranced by his eye contact, your brain drowned out the sounds of his cock going in and out of your sopping cunt, forgetting all about your precarious surroundings.

You felt the knot in your stomach begin to unravel and you knew that your orgasm was nearing. You clawed at Theodore's hand that was on your mouth and he let go, allowing your ragged gasps to float out into the air.

"You okay?" he asked you. "You close?" He couldn't help but smile endearingly at your state, horribly disheveled, biting your own lip to keep yourself from attracting attention.

"Mm," you nodded weakly, feeling your legs begin to shake. As you came undone, you felt him slow down, letting out groans of his own. You bit down on your lips harder and you could feel tears creeping into your eyes as you felt overloaded with sensations. He pulled out of you with a light pop and stepped towards your head.

He had his cock a few inches above your face and looked hesitant before asking, "May I?"

You honestly weren't very sure of what he was requesting, but you let out a soft yeah, being surprised once he spilled onto your face.

Your lips parted into an o-shape as you squinted slightly. After one last drop, you ran a finger on your cheek, observing the mark he left on you trailing down your finger. He dropped his hands to his side and crouched down to be face level with you. He cupped your face with his hands as he ushered you to sit up.

"You're a sweetheart, so nice of you to help," he praised. Even though he had just done things to you that you'd never even been brave enough to imagine an hour prior, you couldn't fight back the bashful look on your face.

"Of course," you whispered. "Do you feel better?" you asked, pulling your underwear back up.

"Yeah, yeah I do," he chortled. He leaned forward, pressing a kiss on your forehead.

You saw the sky darkening by the second and looked out the pitch. "Oh! Someone's coming!" you exclaimed.

He gave a mischievous smile that you could stare at for days, planted a quick kiss on your lips, and grabbed your hand to stand you up, brushing ur skirt down to cover your behind.

"Then let's go."

―――――――――ʚ♡ɞ―――――――――

[irrealisms]

i've seen a lot of people talk about mcyt as a constantly burning library of alexandria recently, and to some extent that's true. people are constantly deleting their blogs, going scorched earth with animatics, fanfics, etc., that they made. but i've also seen people (three in the last few days!) make this claim about VODs, when talking about large fandoms like DSMP and QSMP, and.... guys. that was true in 2020. that's not true anymore. archivists have been working tirelessly for years now to make sure that isn't true.

the dsmp VOD masterlist is here. in november 2020, it's missing 16 VODs, if i am counting correctly--which is still a fairly small minority, but it's a lot, and it sucks!--but in november of 2021, it's missing one, and that's because the cc of that VOD does copyright takedowns, not because the archivists didn't save it. no one in the archivist project is deleting VODs off youtube with no backups the way people are deleting fanfics. three months ago, one of my dsmp archivist friends finished coding a tool that let them reconstruct VODs out of twitch clips, and reconstructed six tubbo dsmp VODs from 2020. not only are we basically not losing VODs anymore, we are actively gaining VODs that have been lost for years, that were thought to be lost forever. the library isn't burning anymore; it's being rebuilt.

the qsmp VOD masterlist is here. it is usually a month or two behind the present day, to give creators time to archive their own VODs, but... look at it. in january of 2024, every single qsmp vod was archived. the same is true of december of 2023, and november, and the vast majority of months for the past year.

i'm not going to say that there isn't a problem. just a few days ago, i realized that a lifesteal VOD from last year was missing--that its youtube upload was messed up somehow, and no one noticed and it wasn't mirrored on the internet archive and the person who uploaded it deleted the original file. and now it's gone forever. this made me super sad! like i said: i'm not going to say that there isn't a problem.

but... look at the lifesteal VOD masterlist here. lifesteal's a smaller fandom than qsmp or dsmp. open the 2022 tab and you'll see months and months of lost VODs, of no one's VODs being saved, because there weren't any archivists saving them. then open the 2023 tab and see: they lost four VODs, over the course of a year. even in smaller fandoms, archivists are working. they're making progress. they're saving VODs. in 2024, lifesteal archivists screenrecorded five streams on tumblr live to make sure they would not become lost media. mcyt may be a constantly burning library of alexandria, but the people with fire extinguishers are dedicated. they're making incredible progress. i know people with petabytes of VODs saved, who have spent money on extra storage for this. i know people who are constantly running up against their storage limits as they download/upload to the internet archive/delete for space/rinse and repeat. a decent fraction of the time, my internet at home is slow because it's downloading VODs.

and these aren't the only mcyt fandoms with archiving projects! the outsiders smp VOD masterlist is here. origins smp VOD masterlist is here. smp earth VOD masterlist is here. rats smp VOD masterlist is here. there are so many others that i just don't happen to know about. the older and smaller a fandom is, the more likely it is to not have an attached archiving project, or for the archive to be missing a lot of VODs. but... guys, we've saved a lot. there are people out there, working tirelessly to save even more. yes, mourn what we have lost--the archivists i know are also the ones mourning the most for the VODs that are, in fact, forever lost media. but don't dismiss how much people have saved. we are making progress. we are losing less and less every month. the vast majority of the dsmp and qsmp still exist, i am not going to say they're the same experience as watching live because they're really not, but.. they're out there. people have put in a lot of work to save them.

if you have publicly available VOD masterlists or other mcyt archiving projects that aren't on this post, please add them in a reblog. i want this post to serve as a reference for how much archivists have saved in this community; unfortunately, i'm not super connected to every community. but i know that--for every person deleting things, there are people working, tirelessly & with little external reward, in so many different mcyt fandoms, to save things. and we should appreciate that more often.

[like-a-gutted-fish]

i am a child.

i am forced into a dress. makeup is smeared onto my face. i kick and cry and beg, but they will not stop.

i am forced to pose in front of the camera with my thighs together and hope that the makeup hides my tearstains. i must be the perfect picture of femininity; innocent, untouched.

i already have a thousand hand prints on me.

'all men are evil rapists', i am told.

i think about my friends, who are men. the men who called me every day while i was in a psychiatric hospital. the men who walked me home when i was afraid. the men who protected and cared for me, without ever expecting my body in return.

it can't be the body that makes someone evil. it can't be the presence of a penis that makes someone evil. but it can't be the identity of 'man' that makes you evil, either.

i ponder the difference between the men who raped me and the men who protected me. i decide that it depends on who the person is inside, and not on their identity.

'sit down and shut up,' they spit at me. 'the men are talking. learn your place. don't speak over us.'

'you throw like a girl.'

'you run like a girl.'

'girls can't do this. they're not smart enough.'

'girls aren't strong enough to do this.'

over and over, such sentiments are tossed at me. i bite down my anger, because women aren't supposed to yell or get angry. if i get angry, that makes me a hysterical bitch.

'women are meant to be mothers,' i am told. they beat it into me that my worth lies not in my personhood, but in the womb between my hips. it makes me feel sick and violated, just like every sexual assault has.

i am groped. i am raped. i am assaulted.

it's my fault, i'm told. i'm a temptress. my body is a vile weapon, a weapon created to tempt men into sin, a weapon that makes me a subhuman toy.

i am treated like a toy. as i am molested during my childhood, i learn that i am a toy. the anatomy between my hips has marked me as public property. i am less than human.

they keep forcing me into dresses. they keep forcing me into makeup. no amount of protesting makes it end. i grow to loathe femininity and the violation that always seems to come with it.

i come out as a trans man at fifteen.

'can't you just be nonbinary?'

'can't you just be a tomboy?'

'i don't want you to regret this.'

'i don't want you to ruin your perfect body.'

'men are disgusting. why do you want to be one of them?'

'are you sure you don't just want to be a man because you were sexually assaulted?'

i continue to be a man. my parents intentionally delay my ability to go on testosterone. by the time i am able to go on testosterone, i have already finished puberty. my body is irreversibly feminine.

people throw food at me. they call me a faggot, a tranny, a dyke. they kick me and shove me to the ground. they cyberstalk me. they post pictures of me online so that they can mock me.

a girl says to me, 'you need to learn your place,' as she calls me a faggot over the internet. she kicks me when she sees me the next day.

my boyfriend when i am fifteen is a cis man who says he is pansexual. he dismisses me when i talk about being trans, because he uses he/they pronouns and 'understands it'.

he sexually assaults me repeatedly. i am in constant distress. my distress is used as proof that i am a snowflake hysterical tranny. i am a hysterical woman who only THINKS she's a man, and i need to be put in my place. trans 'men' are all hysterical and overreactive, and my behaviour is used as proof.

my boyfriend exclusively refers to me with they/them pronouns. i tell him to use he/him. he waves his hand, dismissing my words, and says, 'they're basically the same thing'.

he tells me that he wants children. i try to ignore the sick feeling in my gut.

he only uses he/him pronouns for me after we have broken up, when he is trying to paint me as abusive. i lose my entire friend group because of it.

people keep talking down to me. when i go on testosterone, cis men try to explain that it's toxic for me, using cis man bodybuilders as an example. i try to explain how that isn't the case. they insist that 'female bodies aren't built to handle testosterone'. i try to explain to them how hormones work, and they laugh and roll their eyes.

silly girl. stupid girl. she doesn't know what she's talking about.

people continue to make fun of trans men online. our music, our art, our interests, our fashion sense, our names. i cannot help but feel dejected. all i want is to be a man, and to fit in among everyone else, but even in doing so, i stand out as a target for mockery. misogyny is inescapable, even for men.

i am seventeen years old. my worst fear comes true. i am raped and forcibly impregnated, with the intention of forcing me to detransition.

that sense of violation is impossible to truly describe.

my reproductive system was designed to become pregnant. my body will do its best to become pregnant, no matter what i want. pregnancy is an inescapable function of my body, and it makes me feel trapped and sick.

the man who raped me has turned my own body into a weapon against me. even in my body, my own flesh and sinew, i am not safe.

i miscarry. i am in agony. my womb cramps and i try not to pass out.

i enter feminist spaces. i try to talk about my experiences with misogyny.

'sit down and shut up,' they spit at me. 'the women are talking. learn your place. don't speak over us.'

all trans men have male privilege, you see, without exception. by the mere act of wanting to become a man, i have become a traitor, and i am thrown to the cis men.

the cis men, who see me as a woman that they're finally allowed to abuse. finally, they can hurt and rape and impregnate a woman, because she's one of those snowflake trannies and she needs to be put in her place.

i bite down my anger, because trans men aren't supposed to yell or get angry. if i get angry, it's proof that i'm not a man, that i'm a hysterical bitch, and that i'm a dangerous snowflake tranny seeking to mutilate children.

the sentiment is bitterly familiar.

[saturnsorbits]

I got a bit carried away... Sorry!

Bakugo's almost crushing his coffee cup by the time Kaminari eventually trips through the door of the cafe. He's late and dressed in those stupid, bright blue loafers he bought from his mothers last collection.

The sight of him alone almost makes Bakugo leave, but then he remembers how his hands had clammed up when you scanned his notebook at the check-out last week and he contents himself with scowling at the oncoming fashion nightmare.

'Hey, bro -.'

Whatever niceties Kaminari has prepared aren't even allowed to tumble from his tongue before Bakugo is shoving a - now cold - dry cappuccino towards him and mumbling about how he: 'Best not fucking tell anyone about this.'

Kaminari cocks his head, eyebrows furrowing over his drink as he sips at the foam. 'So...' He starts, 'What's up?'

Bakugo mumbles, again.

'What?'

'Fuck...' Embarrassment coils in his stomach. He's thought about asking literally anyone for advice before Kaminari, but desperate time call for desperate measures. He cringes as he admits: 'There's, there's this girl.'

With his eyes shining, it takes everything in Kaminari's body to stop him from blurting out the stream of exclamations rushing through his mind, but he manages: just. 'A girl?'

'She...' Bakugo coughs, but fails to dislodge the awkwardness in his voice. 'She works in the shop down the road, y'know the -.'

Kaminari grins. 'The one with black hair, right? Pretty eyes. Makes the uniform look great?'

The muscle in Bakugo's jaw jumps. He know's he shouldn't, but the idea of Kaminari's eyes roaming over your body makes his skin burn. He resists the urge to call him out and settles on a meek 'Yeah...' He can punch him when you're actually his, he reasons. It makes his fists un-clench.

'And what? You wanna ask her out?'

Bakugo nods, but it's stiff.

'Ahh.' Wiggling his eyebrows, Kaminari stretches out his arms and clasps them behind his head. He winks. 'And you thought you'd come to me for advice, huh? I mean... I don't blame you. We all know I have a way with the ladies...'

With a roll of his eyes, Bakugo pops Kaminari's bubble. 'You're just the one who puts themselves out there the most. You don't have a problem going over to people and shit, it's got fuck all to do with being a bastard ladies man.'

Pretending to act hurt, Kaminari covers his heart with a hand.

'I just, I don't know how to talk to her, y'know...' Bakugo fixes his eyes on his cup and tries not to stutter as the all-too familiar butterflies start to flap their wings in his stomach. It's a new sensation, one that torments him when he so much as thinks about you - which seems to be more and more often these days. He's hopeless, he knows. 'She's just. She's so fuckin' pretty and I - my brain just turns to fuckin', I can't...' Slumping forward, he rests his head in his arms on the table and grumbles into the black of his sleeves. 'I'm a fuckin' mess. I'm never a fuckin' mess.'

Kaminari coos. 'Bakugo's got a crush...'

'Shut up.' Swiping at him, Bakugo peaks over his arms. A crush seems like too weak of a word for the tumult of emotions swirling in his chest, but he supposes that is what anyone else would call it. Even if he's pretty sure he's wanted to marry you since he saw you screwing up your face in concentration while stacking a new set of books. He sighs. 'I just need you to fuckin' tell me what to do.'

A laugh bubbles up Kaminari's throat and then, he's shrugging. 'I don't know what to tell you man. You're rough around the edges, but you're attractive enough and you're actually not a terrible person. You can keep a conversation going... Just, talk to her: Be yourself.'

Bakugo blinks, unbelieving. 'Your advice is for me to be myself?'

Kaminari nods. 'Yeah... Ask her about her day, that kind of shit. If she's feeling it, she'll keep the conversation going. If not... Well, if not I know this great bar we can go drown our sorrows in.'

Swallowing, Bakugo licks at his lips. He imagines how you might act, if you'll blush and bite your lip, or giggle at him.

Fuck, he wants to make you smile.

Nodding, he's about to thank Kaminari for his advice, but Kaminari is already beating him to speak:

He clicks his fingers, a light bulb shining above his head as he levels Bakugo with an amused smirk. 'If that fails, you could always ask to borrow her pen.'

I love the thought of Bakugou having the fattest crush on you and being so desperate to talk to you that he actually takes advice from Denki and uses a cringe pick-up line on you that obviously doesn’t work and he gets so mad about it because he thinks he’s ruined his chances🥺😭

[coldilikeit]

Yandere Batfam x Camp half-blood (Neglected reader)

DC x Pjo

Part 13

______________________________

"We have to get off this ship" Annabeth whispers "the amount of monsters here aren't normal, something is going on" she says

You were about to agree then a loud clang was heard, you four quickly hid

Looking at the window you see straw dummies with orange camp half-blood shirts, a Dracaenae (dragon women) rips the dummies and the other monsters cheer

"—Don't push me Agrius!" You feel both Annabeth and Percy stiffen as the sudden voice seeps into your ears

"Luke..." Percy shudders, This Luke guy and his friend were arguing, something about gambling, wait no- that's a metaphor for taking a risk

"it will pay off!" Luke yells "They'll take the bait... Now let's check in the casket"

Tyson whimpered "Leave now?"

Silence...

"please..." He muttered after

The remaining three of you came to an agreement, Percy looked eager and Annabeth looked worried

You sigh "We can't, if this guy is talking about something that relates to camp or something worse, we have to find out"

And if possible beat the shit out of him and drag him back to camp to explain

Annabeth volunteered to go alone, saying she had a camp that turned her invisible so it'd be fine, it was met with both you and Percy objecting and saying everyone will go or no one will

"I vote no one goes! Pretty please?" Tyson pleaded, and it ended with three kids crawling and walking like spies with a big cyclops nervously chewing his fingernails trotting behind

Someone opens the door for Luke and the monster, not another monster... A demigod!

"that's Chris Rodriguez! From the Hermes cabin!?" You exclaim and then you clasp your hands to your mouth after realizing you were too loud

Annabeth looked heartbroken "there are more traitors...?"

______________________________

A certain king of Atlantis is sat across Bruce, the looming presence between the two, but there is a sense of respect shared

"As a father myself I feel like you should know something" Aquaman sighs

The blonde haired king reminisces the feeling of losing a child, his baby was abducted by someone he trusted and he got his little boy back at the end, it was a dreadful feeling

The feeling that no matter how many good you'll do next, the person you wanted it to be for won't be here to benefit, "Diana was mistaken, Your child was spotted by one of my merguards on the sea, they're alive and I thought you should know-"

"Where?! Where is my kid right now?" Bruce had jumped from the table to shake Aquaman's shoulders

"they are at sea on a ship... And I'm afraid they might be in danger, as the ship is heading for the sea of monsters- or what you humans call the Bermuda triangle, and I can't stop it-"

"Why not!? Aren't you the king of the ocean!??"

"Calm down, I am the king of Atlantis, not the sea nor the ocean, do not mistake me for my emperor, Lord Poseidon"

Bruce takes a deep breath, "Why is my baby there?, how can I get them?"

"I believe your child is on a quest, a quest given by the gods, mortals cannot interfere, you only have to wait for it to be over, there is also a chance they may not get out of the quest alive, Bruce... Don't try anything" Aquaman tries to warn

"I'm not letting my child stay in a place called the sea of monsters, I'll find them" he says

The king looks at him with sadness "Unfortunately you cannot find the sea of monsters, it finds you, it doesn't matter if you search the whole ocean, if the sea does not want you finding it, you won't, you are gonna have to trust your child that they have the means to survive this"

Silence took over, then a gentle heartbroken voice appeared "you just told me my baby is alive, and if they die again, I don't know how I'll pull through this time"

"I'm so sorry Bruce, I'll take my leave"

______________________________

"We are SO gonna die here" you whisper in Percy's ear

Annabeth shifts as to the four of you tiptoe into the Captain's door, that's when you hear them, muffled sounds, you push your ear through the door

Luke talking about a casket and a golden fleece, the fleece you guys are looking for! What will Luke use it on?

"I can't hear anything!" Percy frustratingly says, Tyson pushes his ear through the door and speaks, he speaks in Luke's voice

"—the prophecies ourselves, those fools won't know which way to turn" Tyson says

He copied Luke's voice... You forgot cyclops can do that, how... Creepy.

Nevermind the visible uncomfortable tension that Tyson veiled on the you, Percy and for some reason especially Annabeth, Tyson continues to mimic voice, this time a deeper gruffer voice "you really think the old horseman is gone for good?"

You gasp, they are talking about Chiron, then Tyson laughed, it was Luke's laugh "They can't trust him anymore, not with the skeletons in his closet, the poisoning of Thalia's tree was the last straw"

Annabeth shivered, then she yelled "Tyson stop! That's creepy!", Tyson shrunk "I was just listening"

"keep listening" Percy says

Tyson closed his eyes again "—Quiet! I heard something, just outside the door" and before I could tell everyone to hide

Luke opened the door and saw us

A cyclops, a child of Aphrodite, Athena and Poseidon

"Percy! Anne! Long time no see... Who are these two?" Luke gestures to me and Tyson

Fuck.

______________________________

Bruce: I hope my baby is strong enough to complete their quest so we can reunite

(Name): I am so going to die here

@yunloyal @sirenetheblogger @00hellohello00 @spqce-bun @casspen-starlight @eyeless-kun @ghostdoodlen @ratchetprime211 @delias-stuff @sadslasher13 @ellaprime7 @wpdarlingpan @mountvesuvu @chinxinsomnia @nathaly36 @vanessa-boo @bat1212 @ceramic-raven @sweetconnoisseurgardener @dhanyasri @bella-wolf100 @shortnsweetsposts @roseapov @d3sperate-enuf @d3kstar @sheep-from-rad

[roosterforme]

Aim for the Sky Part 31 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: Everything starts to get very real once you're able to feel the baby move. It's time to share the news of your second pregnancy with family and friends, but it's hard to feel elated when Bradley starts showing attention to one of his pilots after work hours.

Warnings: Angst, adult language, body image, DILF Roo, oral sex, pregnancy topics, mentions abortion, lactation kink, jealousy, drinking

Length: 3600 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

Aim for the Sky masterlist. This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series, but it can be read on its own! Check my masterlist for the reading order.

If you weren't pregnant and exhausted, Bradley would have been concerned by how quiet you were. You seemed to need a nap as soon as you got home from work, and then you wanted to go to bed right after Rose went down in her crib each evening. When he got home quite late on Friday after working on some transfer paperwork for several hours, he was surprised to find that you seemed a little more upbeat than usual.

"Hey, Roo."

You were wearing a pair of his gym shorts while you made dinner. The house smelled delicious, and his stomach started growling as soon as he walked inside. He picked Rose up from her playmat, taking her into the kitchen as he smothered her in kisses before transferring them to you.

"You feeling okay? How's Nugget Part Deux?"

"We're exhausted. Rose is the only one with energy right now."

He supposed that was better than you telling him you couldn't stop throwing up. So far, baby number two seemed to be giving you less grief when it came to eating. "We can nap all weekend," he promised. "How was your day?"

"Pretty good," you told him with a shrug. "How was your day?"

He glanced out the back door at the enormous jungle gym, eyeing it up as an option for him and Rose to play after dinner. "Just busy. Everyone keeps me on my toes all day long. These pilots are really talented."

You seemed to wrinkle your nose at his words, staring at the food cooking on the stove as you muttered, "I'll bet they are."

Rose seemed keen on the idea of the backyard, so he kissed her soft cheek. "Yeah, I can barely keep up with them in the air, but don't tell them that. I've got my head on a swivel the whole time. Indigo and Rex nearly took me out today, and I had to go into a dive. And starting on Monday, I'm going to give myself some extra office hours to stay on top of my paperwork."

Instead of responding about his day, you started to dish out the food onto two plates with your back turned to him. "After we eat, I need to call my parents before it's too late. They're putting their house on the market next week, and I think I'm just going to tell them I'm pregnant and get it over with. I've put it off long enough."

Bradley's brow creased. "They'll be excited though. Right? I mean, maybe not as excited as me, but still excited."

You shrugged again, and he thought he might lose his mind if you kept doing it. "Aren't you at least a little worried there could be some sort of complications from having them so close together?"

A sardonic laugh almost burst from his lips. "Baby Girl, I worry about you and Rosie and the new baby constantly. Okay? Nonstop. But we can't go back now. You're already almost in the second trimester. Hey," he said, swallowing hard as you finally turned and looked at him. He held Rose just a little tighter as he whispered, "We're married. We're happy, right? You're not actually thinking about ending your pregnancy, are you?"

"No," you replied quickly, shaking your head. Bradley desperately wanted to know if there was some way he could make this easier for you, because he didn't want you to resent what was happening. But you just started crying as you shrugged again. "I just feel like our timing is terrible. And I know I have to start telling people, because I'm already showing a little bit, but I'm just so frustrated, Bradley."

He never dreamed the two of you would go from trying for months to get pregnant with Rose to being frustrated about a second pregnancy, but here you were. "I realize you've got to do most of the work right now, but when I tell you that I want another baby and that I'm excited about this, I mean it."

"I know!" you whispered quickly. "I know." You swiped at your tears before wrapping your arms around him and Rose.

"Is something else bothering you?" he murmured when your cheek came to rest on his bicep. He couldn't imagine what else could be the matter, but he needed to make sure. 

You were silent for a few beats before whispering, "I'm fine. Let's facetime my parents."

For how excited your mom was to move to California, she didn't seem to notice that your eyes looked like you'd been crying. She kept talking about selling their furniture and packing everything up. She mentioned how much she wanted to see Rose in person as she fussed over her on the video call. Just as she was starting to discuss their new house in Coronado that would make them his neighbors, Bradley heard you blurt out, "I'm pregnant."

Your parents both looked stunned on the other end of the call. "You're pregnant," your mom said, eyes drifting back to Rose in Bradley's arms. "Already?"

Now both parents were staring at Bradley as he said, "Yeah... due in April."

"April Fool's Day," you said softly.

Your parents broke out into twin grins. "I'm assuming this was a surprise to the two of you?" your dad asked. When you nodded silently, he added, "A happy surprise at least! Congratulations. You're about to have your hands very full."

"It's a good thing we're moving!" your mom practically shrieked. "Two under two! Two babies! What if you have twins?"

"We're not," Bradley replied. Then he froze. "It's not twins. Right, Sweetheart?" Now he was a little scared as you turned to look at him and laugh.

"There was just one heartbeat, Roo. Just one."

His shoulders sagged in relief. "I mean, the more the merrier, but that would be a lot."

He let Rose nap against his chest while he rubbed circles against your lower back, and soon enough, your parents were ending the call with the promise that they would be in Coronado for Christmas. "We'll either be living there by then or we'll fly out for the holiday if our house here hasn't sold yet."

Everything sounded good to Bradley, and five minutes after the call ended, you fell asleep on him, too.

----------------------------

When you fell asleep on Cam's shoulder at brunch on Sunday, you figured it was time to tell him and Maria what was going on.

"I'm pregnant. Again."

Maria jumped out of her seat to cram into the opposite of the booth, sandwiching you between her and Cam. "Damn, girl! You've wasted no time!"

"Lieutenant Commander Mustache is working with some high fucking quality goods, huh?" Cam marveled, shaking his head slowly in reverence. "Congratulations."

"Thanks," you whispered, voice harsh and near tears. You had no control over your emotions. This was just like when you were pregnant with Rose, but with less vomiting and more fatigue. Everything made you upset enough that you wanted to cry or angry enough that you wanted to kick down a door. Including your husband.

You answered Cam and Maria's questions as you thought about that woman you'd seen around base with Bradley a few times. They were never alone, always part of a larger group, but you didn't like how she looked at him. And you didn't want to mention it to him, because you knew how ridiculous it was going to sound.

"Hey, I'm really tired," you eventually told your friends. "Do this again in two weeks?" You wanted to go home and nap while Bradley still had Rose out for a walk along the beach. You just wanted to be alone.

"Of course," Maria promised. "I'll text Bob to come pick me up, but you two can go on ahead."

"I'll wait with you," Cam told her, giving you a kiss on the cheek.

You made your way out and went home, leaning against the front door in relief when you found the house completely empty. Even Tramp and his yellow leash were gone. You ran to bed, curled up under the covers, and cradled your hand against your belly. It was impossible to tell if you had a baby bump, or if you were still chubby from last time. 

Your thumb ran along the top of your leggings as you started to cry. You needed to pull yourself together. Did you cry this much with Rose? Did everything make you feel like you looked disgusting? Eventually you dozed for about an hour before the sound of the front door closing jolted you awake. Rose started screaming, probably hungry after being out for so long. You rolled out of bed, avoiding your reflection in the mirror at all costs, and went to meet them in the kitchen.

Bradley was trying to bounce Rose to keep her quiet, but you yanked your shirt off and reached for her. "Sorry," he muttered as your daughter latched on to eat as soon as she was touching you. "I tried."

"It's okay." 

You fed one baby while you considered that her younger sibling was growing inside you, and for once, you couldn't figure out if you wanted to laugh or cry. 

While she ate, Bradley looked at his phone and groaned. "Nat wants us to go to the Hard Deck tonight."

The idea of going out and pretending that you were drinking alcohol was too much to handle. Even if you could find someone to watch Rose, it didn't sound like a fun time.

"You go," you told him.

He glanced up and said, "I don't want to go without you."

A smile graced your lips as you told him, "Just go for one drink with your best friend. I'll drop you off and pick you up. You can tell her I'm pregnant if you want to."

"Really?" he asked, perking up like Tramp did when presented with a treat.

"Yeah. I told Maria and Cam earlier. I actually fell asleep on his shoulder in the booth, and when I woke up, they were both gaping at me. I figured I needed to say something."

Bradley snorted. "What did they have to say about Bradshaw Baby number two?"

"Cam is under the impression that you are working with some high quality equipment."

He burst into laughter. "I mean..."

You rolled your eyes as Rose switched to your other side. It was easy to feel better about things when it was just the three of you at home. You looked at your husband as he ate an apple in four bites and convinced yourself he would never do anything to hurt you. Then he drank half a beer and belched while he adjusted his junk, and you thought perhaps nobody else would want to deal with him anyway.

"I'll text Nat back. Then I'll pull the weeds around the playset while I decide what I'm doing about the bar."

You let Rose take a nap, but now that you'd also had one, you felt a little restless. Even after you did a few chores, including looking at items for a second baby nursery online, you wanted to get out of the house again. When Bradley came inside, stripping his sweaty shirt over his head, he said, "One drink. Don't leave me there too long, okay?"

"Is Jake going, too? Maybe I'll see if Cat and Jer are home and want visitors."

"That's a great idea," he replied, taking your hand when he walked past. When he gave you a little tug, you didn't move. "You coming?" he asked, clearly puzzled. 

"Where?"

"What do you mean where?" he scoffed, tugging again. "To take a shower with me while Rose naps. Where else?"

It was hard to think about anything when your husband was on his knees in front of you, steamy water swirling around his tattooed bicep while his hands pinned you to the tile wall. But it was especially hard to focus on anything other than the feel of his mouth on your body. The scrape of his mustache. The pull of his lips. Soft and demanding and needy.

"Roo," you gasped, lungs full of the humid air, sucking in deep breaths as he looked up at you.

"God, Baby Girl," he rasped, thumb teasing your dainty rooster tattoo. "I'm so spoiled. Your tits look so pretty, and your belly will be big again soon."

You let your fingers drag through his wet curls, pushing them back from his forehead while he kissed the spot where you felt so tender as the baby grew.

"Roo!" you gasped, your hands both flying to your belly. "The baby! I can feel the baby moving!"

"Shit, really?"

His eyes were wide, alert with anticipation as you moved his palm to the spot where you could feel squirming. He eased himself closer on his knees, the shower hitting both of you with warm spray while he let you guide him. You felt it again, just another squirm as you pressed his palm harder to your belly.

"Right there," you whispered, and he closed his eyes. Your heart beat in your ears, an undeniably excited rhythm.

"I can't wait to feel it, too," he murmured, his cheek coming to rest against his hand. "You couldn't feel Rose this early."

"No," you agreed, watching your husband fall even more in love with the unborn baby. "Maybe another week or two and they'll be big enough for you to feel it." You played with his hair, letting him stay put until the water started to get cold.

-------------------------------

"I'll pick you up in a little while," you informed Bradley when you pulled into the parking lot at the Hard Deck. "Jake is already here, so I'll take Rose to hang out with Cat and Jer for a bit."

"Sounds good." He kissed you before unbuckling and leaning into the backseat to kiss his daughter. He was still shocked and in a mild daze over the baby moving during the shower. He wanted to feel those kicks against his palm, and now he'd be all over you in the upcoming weeks, looking for his chance. 

"Have fun," you called before pulling away in your Bronco, but going to the bar to hang out without you was not his idea of a great night. He decided he'd just wait and see how the evening progressed before making a decision about telling Nat about the pregnancy. He smiled as he wondered how long it would be until you had to start wearing the maternity tent to work again.

"There you are!" shouted Nat when he walked past the bar, waving to Penny. "We're about to play pairs. You're with Hangman. Rack 'em, Rooster."

Bradley sighed and took the pool cue as she thrust it into his hand. "Can't I get a beer first?"

She turned and shouted, "Hey, Coyote! Get Rooster one!"

Javy saluted him from the bar as Bradley nodded and settled in to start the game. He and Jake wouldn't even have to try too hard to beat Nat and Reuben, but as he got into the groove of things, he realized he was having a pretty good time.

"You want another?" Jake asked him, and soon one beer turned into three. Bradley ended up buying the fourth round for his friends when Mickey arrived. He had enough in his system to not give a shit when Jake started ribbing on him for his new position at work.

"The way your students all jump to attention when they see you has got to be the funniest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life," he drawled, and Bradley nudged his foot, making him miss his shot.

"I'm still in shock that Cat agreed to marry you," Bradley replied before taking a sip of beer.

Jake rolled his eyes. "I'm surprised Angel let you get her pregnant. Shocked the baby didn't come out with a mustache."

Nat was cackling while Bradley snorted. "She's pregnant again." The words slipped out, but they felt too fucking good on his tongue, just like your body had in the shower.

"What?!"

He was instantly surrounded by his friends while Nat wrapped him up in a hug. "Are you serious? Another one so soon?" she asked with a suspicious looking smirk.

"Yeah," he replied, letting her squeeze him until he thought she might displace a rib. "Apparently I'm working with some high quality equipment."

"Ew!" Nat shrieked, letting go of him while Jake shook his hand. 

"Poor Angel," he drawled. "She'll have another little Bradshaw on the loose soon."

"Whiskey shots on me," Reuben said, slapping Bradley hard on the back.

"Thanks, man," he replied while conversation about the baby settled to a normal volume. He drank his shot of whiskey, and that's when he realized he was actually kind of drunk.

The game of pool wore on, but nobody seemed to be keeping track of who won. So he kept going until his phone vibrated in his jeans pocket.

Baby Girl Bradshaw: I'm almost there. Rose fell asleep.

"I have to run," Bradley announced, dropping his cue into Jake's hand. 

"You're so fucking whipped," Jake drawled. "Get out of here and knock your wife up again.... oh, wait."

Bradley gave him and everyone else double middle fingers behind his back as he walked toward the exit. He was tired and warm and buzzed, and he wanted to curl up next to you in bed and kiss the back of your neck. And maybe you'd let him look at your gorgeous tits. Maybe if he was really good, you'd let him taste you. The evening air hit his body, igniting so much need in him.

"Oh, sorry," he grunted, nearly plowing over someone in his rush to get to the parking lot.

"Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw," came a now familiar voice. Blue eyes flashed up at him along with a smile that kept growing.

Indigo was dressed in street clothes, but he tried not to take notice as he nodded. "I knew you'd find The Hard Deck without my help."

She laughed, bright and clear as he tried to step past her. "Don't tell me you're leaving for the night."

A little pout found her lips, and Bradley nodded. "Yeah. It's getting late for a Sunday."

"Come on," she whined, the back of her hand brushing his as he made his way around her. "Let me buy you one drink."

His mind was still gooey with thoughts of taking you to bed as he shook his head. "Thanks, but I really need to go. Enjoy your night."

Then Nat burst through the door, movements slowing when she met his eyes. "You left your phone on the pool table." She tossed it to him, coordination pretty good for how much she'd had to drink. She started backing up toward the door as she said, "You better go home with your pregnant wife!"

Bradley smiled at his friend, but he could feel Indigo's eyes on him as he stepped off the deck toward the parking lot. And there you were, standing in the first aisle with your back against the red Bronco. Your lips were set in a firm line, and Bradley was about to make it his personal mission to kiss away that expression.

------------------------------

That younger woman was here with him. You'd seen her around base plenty of times lately, but now she was here. At the Hard Deck. At your favorite bar in your neighborhood. She was with your husband at the bar. They were already standing there together when you drove up and parked.

"Who is that woman?" you snapped at Bradley who was clearly drunk. His hands were all over your waist and hips as soon as he reached you.

"Hey, Sweetheart." His voice was deep and sexy, and you wanted nothing more than to melt into him, but she was still staring you down.

"Who. Is. She?" you hissed, your eyes starting to burn with unshed tears as you stared back. Bradley was kissing your neck now as the woman finally turned and went inside the bar. You already knew who she was. You were sure of it. You'd heard him use her call sign countless times, but you wanted him to say it now. "Bradley!"

"Huh?" he grunted, meeting your eyes.

"Who is that woman you were just with?"

"Natasha?" he asked, and you wanted to scream.

"The other woman, Bradley."

"Oh. That's Indigo."

Your heart sank as soon as he confirmed it for you, but he didn't seem to notice or care that you suddenly felt like your skin was on fire. That woman who was still so fresh out of flight school was already a top pilot, and she was beautiful, and she wanted your husband.

"Baby Girl," he moaned next to your ear. "Let's go home. Maybe we can get in bed and snuggle while I try to feel the baby move? Or you could let me finish what we started in the shower? I'm already so wound up."

You opened the passenger side door for him, slamming it shut as soon as he was inside. You glared at the entrance to the Hard Deck before heading around the Bronco to drive him home.

-----------------------------

Either way, it still looks bad, Bradley. We are riding along with all of BG's emotions, and it's a lot to handle. Thanks for reading. More coming soon. Thanks @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 32

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[coquelicoq]

how to write a sympathy card

so someone you know recently lost a loved one and you would like to extend your sympathy, but you have no idea what to say. here are some ideas to get the juices flowing. i did not even try to keep this short, so i've broken it up into four sections: general advice, what to include, some example cards i've written, and takeaways.

general advice

first, if you're reading this i'll assume that you have decided to express your sympathy in some way and just don't know how. the thing about doing this is it will always feel inadequate. it will often feel very awkward. you may be worried that everything you say sounds weirdly insincere even if it isn't. i'm here to tell you that that is all okay and normal and to be expected. i've written a lot of sympathy cards and afterwards i've never been like "wow, i nailed it!" and yet i've gotten a lot of comments from people thanking me for showing up even when all i did was send a measly insufficient card, because most people don't do that. it will mean something to the person that you did it at all, even if it's not perfect.

should you send your sympathy in a card or some other method? if you never send mail, if you don't have their address, if you don't even own stamps, maybe sending a card is not for you. but everything below also applies to an email you could send. i personally prefer a card because i like the physicality; it's something they can keep and look at later if they want to, and it's a way of showing a small amount of deliberation and care (i went to the store and picked this out; i sat down and handwrote this). more importantly, i feel like there's less pressure to respond to a card than an email, and a phone call can be overwhelming to someone who is already dealing with a lot of shit, while a card is just there whenever they feel up to looking at it. but that is entirely my own perspective; there are differences culturally as well as personally. you should do what makes sense for you.

do think about what you're trying to accomplish by sending this card. you may not be able to make things better, but you are certainly trying not to make things harder. one example of this might be: if your friend has just lost her mother, you might have a lot of complicated feelings about this that aren't really about your friend or her mother specifically (you also have a mother!), and that's natural and okay, but those feelings would perhaps be best to share with other friends of yours who didn't just lose their mother. another example: it's okay to be worried about your friend and how they're doing, but try not to imply that they owe you updates or that they're causing you a lot of stress by not keeping you in the loop. (of course, if they are instead sharing more with you than you can handle, it's important to set boundaries around that! though probably not through the mechanism of a sympathy card.)

it is okay to keep it really short and generic. again, i think just the act of thinking to get a card, getting a card, writing something in it, and mailing it already means something regardless of what is written in it. if you feel overwhelmed trying to figure out what to say, it is okay to keep it to "I'm thinking of you in this difficult time. I'm so sorry for your loss." i also sometimes add "I don't know what to say, except that [I'm thinking of you, etc.]."

one thing i've learned that makes this harder is that you cannot assume you know how anyone else feels. you may be thinking, "i also lost a parent, so i know how it feels," but you only know how you felt about it. there are infinite ways to feel about losing someone, including:

sadness for the deceased, that their life is over

sadness for themself, that the deceased is gone

sadness for the other people who lost the deceased

fear of their own mortality

fear of dying in the same way

fear of how their life is going to change without the deceased

relief that the deceased is no longer suffering

relief that their caretaking duties are over

relief that the deceased can no longer mistreat them

anger at the deceased for dying or for not doing something before they died

anger at god

anger at others/self for contributing to their death or not saving them

overwhelm from all the logistical things there are to deal with when someone dies

overwhelm from all the emotions

confusion at their own reaction

guilt for outliving the deceased

guilt for not feeling sadder or for feeling other things in addition to sadness (or for being numb/in shock)

this is an incomplete list!!!

i try not to project onto my friend or put words in their mouth, because it can be very isolating to be told how other people think you should feel if that's not exactly how you feel. because you're sending them a sympathy card, there is some baseline assumption that there is something to feel sympathy about. but beyond that i try to be careful not to get super specific about how "you must be feeling" or how hard "this must be". generally i try to avoid the word "must" because it implies that there is a certain way this is supposed to go, when there isn't.

if i know that they are struggling in some way but haven't talked to them much about it, i personally usually feel okay saying "Loss is hard" or "It's hard to lose someone", which might seem similar to "This must be hard", but avoids the word "must" and the direct reference to their situation ("loss" in general vs. "the particular instance of loss you are experiencing"). if i don't know much at all about how they're doing, i might say "Loss can be hard", which presumes even less, or i might not directly mention the difficulty of loss at all.

but also, it's okay to be more specific and personalized if you have been in contact with your friend as they've been processing the situation. it's good to acknowledge specific feelings that they've told you about, but try to also leave room for other feelings and/or ways their feelings might have changed.

what to include

here are some categories of sentiments you may want to include (all optional!):

thinking of you: even though it's kind of self-evident that you're thinking about them, this is something that is always appropriate to say and always nice to hear. examples: You're in my thoughts. I'm thinking of you often.

wishing you comfort/support: comfort and support are very safe things to wish somebody because they don't assume anything very specific about how they're feeling, and they express care for their wellbeing without putting pressure on them to be fine. I hope you can find moments of comfort in the coming days. I hope you're feeling supported by friends and family.

sorry for your loss: this is one of those things everyone knows is a stock phrase, but it's the kind of stock phrase that imo actually communicates something, so i do generally use it. I'm so sorry for your loss.

my heart goes out to you: this stock phrase is a little iffier, meaning it can be kind of a toss-up on whether or not it will sound insincere. it might depend on how close you are to the person. use your discretion. again, even things that sound insincere to you can still mean a lot to the recipient. My heart goes out to you. My heart is with you.

i'm here for you: offer logistical and/or emotional support if you want to and if you're reasonably sure that you could provide it. if you're able to be specific, that can be very helpful; one thing that can be overwhelming in the aftermath of a loss is dealing with lots of people wanting to help and having to come up with ways for them to do that. Please reach out anytime if it would help to talk about it. If you ever need to be distracted, I'm good at that! I'd love to bring over some food/help out with chores and errands; I'll text you to see if that would be helpful and not disruptive.

prayers: if you and the recipient are both religious/spiritual and it feels right to say, you could say "I'm keeping you in my prayers" or similar, in addition to or in lieu of "I'm thinking of you." if you are religious but the recipient isn't (or you're not sure if they are), i suggest not saying this, but use your judgment. some people don't mind hearing that someone is praying for them even if they don't believe in prayer and may in fact expect you to say it if you are known as someone who often expresses care through prayer, but for others, this can be actively offensive. i would say when in doubt, stick to "thoughts" instead of "prayers". You're in my prayers. I'm praying for you.

there are many ways to grieve: this one is harder to describe, but i like to include something that validates whatever the recipient may be feeling, despite not knowing how the recipient is feeling. the downside of a card is that it's not in real time, so you really have no way of knowing how your friend is feeling when they read it, even if you talked to them previously and know how they were feeling during that conversation. so i like to, in addition to not assuming any particular emotions, make space for the fact that their emotions may be shifting in ways that are confusing or distressing. but you have to be kind of vague about it, because you don't even know if that's happening. I hope you have the space to grieve in whatever way you need to/is meaningful for you. I hope you're getting through this time in whatever way is best for you.

you may want to express your own grief over the loss of this person, if you knew them. i think this can be comforting for the recipient to hear, but i suggest keeping it brief and not overwrought. the last thing you want is for your friend to feel they have to manage your emotions in addition to their own. if you can, do the below instead of or in addition to this.

now i will share my LIFE HACK!! for the very best thing to put in a sympathy card. this will not always be possible, because it relies upon a) you yourself having a relationship with the deceased (which is not always the case) and b) you being able to remember things (which i often cannot, especially when i'm sad). but if you can, i highly suggest something along the lines of the following.

say what you will remember the deceased for. (I will remember them for their wry sense of humor. I will remember them as a compassionate/driven/curious person.)

give an example of a memory you have of them in which they exemplified that characteristic.

if you can't do both, it's also good to do just one and not the other. if you have a favorite memory but it's too hard to think of adjectives to attribute to them, just share the memory. if you tend to think of them as [positive adjective] but no specific evidence is coming to mind, that's okay, this isn't a debate. in general it is comforting to people to know that they are not the only ones who will remember their lost loved one.

example cards

i will now give some examples of cards i've written. these all feel really awkward and inadequate to me, and you can see i didn't always stick to my own advice! but they were all deeply appreciated.

[to my coworker. i didn't have much detail except knowing her dad had been in the hospital a lot, and she was sad that he died]

I was so sorry to hear about your father. It seems like the last few years have been hard on your family, and loss is especially hard. I hope you are able to take the time you need to be with your family and cherish your memories of him together.

[to my friend's mother after the passing of her husband. i knew from talking to my friend that her mom was struggling especially with outliving him, because she was sick and had expected for a long time to die before him]

I'm thinking about you and [friend's name] a lot. I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing someone is so hard. Adjusting to their absence is, too. I hope that you're finding moment of comfort and feeling supported by friends and family. He will be missed. I will remember him for his wry sense of humor; I still have a "card" from him on my fridge (he cut out a sample "thank you" card greeting that said "The smallest good deed is better than the grandest intention" from a list of things to write in different kinds of cards (a sample message for a "Get Well Soon" card was on the back, crossed out) and simply added my name at the top and his name at the bottom. It's one of my favorite pieces of mail I've ever received and it's been on my fridge for many years). I am so sorry that he's gone. You are in my thoughts and my heart goes out to you.

[to my close friend and her husband i don't know as well, after a late-term abortion for a baby they had been very excited to raise. in this case i knew some of my friend's feelings, but not her husband's, and while i knew that many things about the pregnancy had been hard (lots of waiting for test results about the viability of the fetus, for one thing), i didn't want to imply that the decision to abort was hard, because my friend said it wasn't]

I'm thinking of you both lots. I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby. It sounds like it's been a difficult and fraught process, and I hope you're getting space and time to grieve and to come to terms with the loss. I hope you're getting whatever kind of support you need. If there's anything I can do to help, whether logistical or emotional, please let me know. I would love to be of service to you. I wish I knew what to say. You've just had such a fantastically shitty year. I do believe that things will get lighter for you both, and I hope that happens soon. Take care, and know you are cherished.

[to my grandmother after the loss of her estranged brother, when i was extremely unsure how she was feeling about it and had my own complicated emotions]

I just wanted to send you a card to say I'm thinking of you. Mom let me know about Uncle [name]. I know things had been strained for many years and I haven't seen him in a long time, but I'm sorry to hear that he's passed. I hope that you and [grandmother's sister] are able to reminisce in whatever way feels appropriate and meaningful to you. I'm not sure what else to say, other than I'm thinking of you, I love you, and I'm sorry. It was really nice to see you at [family member's] graduation the other day. The next time we're together, I look forward to giving you such a big hug! I feel very lucky to be your granddaughter and to have you in my life.

[to my grandmother after the loss of my 38yo cousin, which was hitting me really hard]

I don't know what to say, but I just wanted to tell you that my heart goes out to you and that I'm thinking of you, and [cousin], and [uncle], and [father], every day. It's so hard to lose someone, and I'm so sorry for your loss. My grief is a strange animal that sneaks up on me at the strangest times. I hope you are finding moments of comfort and feeling supported by friends and family. I'm looking forward to the day when I can hug you in person.

[to my close friend on the loss of her father after a long illness. she had been leaning on me for support, as another person who has lost someone after a long illness]

I'm thinking about you lots. I hope you're getting through this time in whatever way is best for you. Loss is hard even when you know it's coming and even when you get to say goodbye. I hope you are finding comfort and feeling how loved you are. He was a special person, and I'm so sorry he's left you. I know part of him will live on in you and the other people who learned from and admired him. It's still so hard to lose him, and grief is a strange animal. Take care. Reach out anytime. I love you so much.

takeaways

it will probably feel inadequate to you, but chances are it will still be appreciated.

remember that though you may not be able to make things better, you are trying not to make things harder.

it is okay to keep it really short and generic.

you cannot assume you know how anyone else feels. there are many ways to grieve. that said, it's nice to acknowledge any specific feelings your friend has expressed to you, while also leaving room for other feelings you may not know about.

if you want to offer support, it can help a lot to be specific in how you are able and willing to help.

it is usually comforting to people to know that they are not the only ones who will remember their lost loved one.

even if you do it awkwardly, just the act of reaching out is meaningful! people don't know you're thinking about them unless you tell them.

and remember to take care of yourself, too! watching friends lose loved ones can be hard for you as well for a variety of reasons. reach out to other friends for support when you need it.