#i'm going crazy
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Lando is holding Oscar's wrist cuz of just how big of a hand size difference they have
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Does anyone ever think really hard about Grian's inability to team? To stick with the same people he'd allied with at first after it shows the slightest hint of going downhill? Or about everyone's knowledge to be weary with teaming with Grian as he's notoriously disloyal with his teammates?
Cause the gutting thing is, he isn't. He isn't disloyal. He doesn't have an inability. In fact, I'd argue he is one of the few people who are tragically loyal to a fault, at least in most cases.
In Last Life, although he killed both Jimmy and Mumbo, he still felt the need to return to his allies after he'd turned red, feeling betrayed when they threw him out for being red. After that, he stuck with Joel and didn't dare betray him.
In Double Life, although he cheated on Scar and constantly complained, he stuck by Scar almost obsessively. His aim to protect him, even if he said it was for his own benefit, was painful. He didn't try to leave Scar behind like Cleo or Scott, he didn't try to sever the bond between him and Scar, nothing. It was almost like he was desperate.
In Limited Life, he was beyond loyal to his boys. He was loyal until the very end. And although he immediately switched to join the Nosy Neighbours, he didn't try to team with anyone permanently until Jimmy and Joel were dead. His silence when he realised he was truly the last Bad Boy was deafening. He hid his grief by saying that he had a backup team, just to save face, even though he built a gravestone for both boys and grieved them meaningfully.
In Secret Life, it wasn't as if he was fine with having no allied, like someone would be if they truly didn't care for loyalty, he was desperate once again. Having no teammates later in the game would hurt him, yes, but his desperation felt lonely, not power hungry. He didn't dare betray Etho nor Cleo, and stuck by them until the end. He was losing his mind on his hill before he teamed with the two, he needed to have close allies to depend on.
Now, in Wild Life, Mumbo is out of the series and Grian goes to say he needs to find some more friends, even with Skizz still around. Now, I don't think this is a power play thing, it's a desperation thing. He's hiding his grief by pretending everything is fine because if it wasn't he'd be vulnerable. For the past couple sessions, he had been working tirelessly to help get Skizz a kill so he could get off of being a red life, even to his own detriment.
Grian doesn't half ass teams. He will not team with everyone. However, he gets vulnerable when the ones that he connects to die.
Because that's how it went about in 3rd Life. He allied with Scar throughout the whole game, it starting simply because Grian felt guilty about what he'd done to Scar. He felt guilty. He stuck with him the whole game, undying loyalty, and all it ended in was him standing at the top with his best friend's blood drying on his hands.
To him, being loyal to someone like he was in 3rd Life ended badly. So, to avoid that, he found a way to still stay teamed with people, but not be left at the top of that mountain again, alone, even if his teammates die.
But so far, the curse keeps following him. He will always outlive his teammates. And this season is following the pattern, again, Mumbo dying right in front of his eyes, so close, yet so far. Always in a distance where he could've done something different, and he'd still have a teammate.
He may move from person to person, but only when they are dead or reject him. He is the forever Widow, cursed to always face his consequences, over and over and over again.
#grian#life series#traffic smp#life series smp#wild life#wild life smp#trafficblr#3rd life#last life#double life#limited life#secret life#I'M GOING CRAZY#Has to switch to desktop to write this essay out#It's all over the place but you get what I'm trying to say#I am aware you can refute some of these points but I dont care#I like creating angst for myself#I'm on the edge of writing a really angst fanfic rn#As if I already havent...#widow curse#this is very wrong in some areas but shut up i like to blag for fun to make c!Grian's life worse
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Some chaotic screenshots from the Xiaohongshu app:
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I have to say I love miquella. I adore his aspirations and desire to relieve the suffering of others.
but he has suicide bomb soldiers in the Haligtree!
I aint TRUSTING someone who can charm people and has fucking SUICIDE BOMBERS. No matter what justification you have for that! Whether they figured out how to do that on their own, or Miquella just intended to give them a blessing, or whatever you can think of.
A leader who commands that level of belief and fanaticism, whether intentional or not, NEEDS to look in a fucking mirror.
LIKE, HOLY FUCK
Soldiers shouldn't WANT to sacrifice their lives! A kind leader would want them to try to fucking survive, yeah?
I know I couldn't stand the idea that someone, BECAUSE of their belief in our cause, or worse their belief in ME!? would choose to MARTYR themselves rather than run!
the suicide bombers were in the Haligtree! Miquella only shed pieces of himself AFTER cocooning! which means the soldiers became like this either before or during his cocooning.
Edit: I've taken a closer look at the haligtree soldier ashes and it says they only started exploding after he'd been gone for a long time.
But anyway, that shit was BEFORE the dlc!
acting like Shadow of the Erdtree was a straight up lie, a retcon, and betrayal of the previous writing on Miquella is honestly very fucking irritating.
It's a consistent expansion on his character! Someone who's so desperate to do the right thing that they're utterly blind to the folly of the actions they've taken along the way, or FAR worse, rationalizes and justifies them?
Someone who's childhood taught him that nobody could be trusted to help him if they're not loyal to his cause. maybe too loyal.
screaming
Additionally, the defense of Miquella's charm being "he used it in an ethical way" is fucking laughable and I utterly hate it.
That power is unethical.
Full. Stop.
Coercion is already evil. (our society does it all the time.)
And directly influencing someone's mind in a way they literally cannot resist (the only person who could resist it was the tarnished because we got his great rune) is far worse.
No person, god, or BEING can just use a power like that ethically. The power to do that is a temptation in and of itself.
Try to look at things from an angle of power imbalance, will yah? There's a reason power corrupts etc. is a saying.
Whenever a person holds great power, no matter how pure their intentions, they will misuse it and cause suffering.
Which is why I could never willingly let Miquella become a god. I'd sooner see him dead than that, because there's no way he could possibly make himself "pure" enough by removing fucking pieces of his very self!
A god who never feels doubt, indecision, fear, and love?
That's just a tyrant with even more tyranny than before!
A leader HAS to doubt their actions! If they cannot doubt, there's no room for anyone to protest their decisions!
The options, given his powers, are coercion, literally either killing those who resist, or fucking brainwashing them!
in the end, this game, and this dlc, are
A
FUCKING!
TRAGEDY!
ALWAYS HAS BEEN.
Rant over. Sorry if this hurt anyone's feelings, I'm just so irritated it's turned to anger, and I NEEDED to let it out.
#elden ring#shadow of the erdtree#elden ring lore#elden ring sote#elden ring dlc#miquella#shadow of the erdtree spoilers#i'm going crazy#i'm dying slowly
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is it casual now?
#deadpool and wolverine#poolverine#deadpool 3#deadpool x wolverine#deadpool#wolverine#my art#helloo chappel roan reference#i'm going crazy
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STANLEY PINES WITH A SLIGHTLY YOUNGER BF AISGSJJDB
He bites his lip, a bit nervous about bottoming for the first time. He doesn't wanna seem soft in his old age. But when you're so gentle with him, preping him so he can take you real good, he just melts. With your soft encouragement and praise, he stops holding back moans and whimpers. The way his callused hands tighten around the bedsheets when you first push in, the way he clenches around you. He cums so fast and is so embarrassed, poor baby. He mumbles something about his old age, but the real reason is that you just fill him up so good, he just can't help it.
#i'm going crazy#stanley pines#Stanley pines x male reader#gnawing at the bars of my enclosure#i'm going feral
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It's ridiculous how much I crush on him. I can never have him anyway, but I just can't get him out of my head. I think about him every day, it's soooo stupidddd. he's my absolute dream, I'm making a fool of myself!!
#crying screaming throwing up#i'm stupid#grrrrr#stupid silly me#tom kaulitz#dream boyfriend#dream boy#muah <3#tokiohotel#tokio hotel#kaulitz twins#cutie#i'm going crazy#i'm gonna schrei#helppp#tom kaulitz x reader
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Ok, so Edward's mom and Bruce's mom were once in the same place????? (Arkham Asylum)
I'm getting a little delusional guysss sorry , a lot of coincidence
Matt Reeves what do u mean???
#edward nashton#the riddler#the riddler 2022#the batman 2022#the riddler year one#bruce wayne#danocel#danonation#paul dano#i'm going crazy
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Like Dantes Inferno out here
#i'm going insane#i'm going crazy#what we do in the shadows#guillermo de la cruz#nandor the relentless#wwdits#nandermo#nandor x guillermo#lazlo cravensworth#nadja of antipaxos#our flag means death#our flag means death s2#the gentleman pirate#blackbeard#blackbonnet#gentlebeard#stede bonnet#good omens season 1#good omens#crowley#crowley x arizaphale#azirowley#aziraphale
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everything I do is cringey and I'm okay with it
#girlblogging#girlblogger#diet coke#girlblog#im just a girl#female hysteria#female manipulator#girl interrupted#lana del rey#cherry#blur#damon albarn#lizzy grant#murder drones lizzy#md lizzy#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#lizzy grant aesthetic#lizzy mcalpine#i'm going crazy
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Goodbye, My Danish Sweetheart by Mitski is so IDW Starbee core and I'm like
GRGEGGRGRGRGEGRGRGGRRRRGGGRGRGRRGHNFNDNDBZBSBBSHSJWJDBVFBFNDJSNSUDHHFBDNDJSKDIFHHDBEBEBSJSJHD
#I'M GOING CRAZY#SOMEBODY HELP ME OH MY GOSH#I'M GOING TO EXPLODE#PLEASE DOES ANYONE UNDERSTAND ME#idw bumblebee#idw starscream#idw transformers#starscream x bumblebee#starbee
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you think it will be a normal day until Ferrari decides otherwise
THE CONTRAST + 🌶🍌 COLOURS PLEASE
#charlos#i need to now if they are gatekeeping other photos/videos of this#LETS GO LESBIANS LETS GO#I'M GOING CRAZY#charles leclerc#carlos sainz jr#c²#1655
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I somewhere read shj assured he'd never take away hyh from him when he learned why hyj regressed. So I was like, I wanna read that. AND I speedran through like HUNDREDS OF CHAPTERS. Then we got to Japan's dungeon and every chapter I was like talk, just talk!
Then hyj said he'll tell shj, but first hyh. I understand that, I was like Ok, do it fast and talk- then shj went back to Korea :l
So, I was like, okay, okay, go back to Korea and talk with hi-
He started ghosting hyj-
THEN hyj threatened to blow his house off and I'm like, YEAH do that and TALK.
He took stw with him :)
I'm like, ok, the two of you can talk-
THEN THEY STARTED FIGHTING. (╬°ㅂ°)
OK YOU FIGHT, FIGHT, THEN TALK??!
NO! (#>﹏<)
THEN SHJ PROCEEDED TO SLEEP(╬ °ㅂ°╬)
My patience is gone, I need someone to tell me they'll talk soon. Cause if there is ANOTHER INTEFERENCE, someone will end up dead.
#i'm going crazy#they GOT TO TALK#sctir#sctir spoilers#tsctir#my s class hunters#the s classes that i raised#s classes that i raised#han yoojin#hyj#sung hyunjae#shj#sung hyunje#hjyj
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Heiji still thinks about the "kiss" with Kaito
#i'm going crazy#so gay lmao#he thinks about Kid before going to sleep#dcmk#detective conan#kaihei#kaihei is canon?? lmao#meitantei conan#kaitou kid#kaito kuroba#heiji hattori#gay gay homosexual gay#kazuha toyama
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okay I may be biased and this will sound so wrong to the whole psych fandom but I really really let this out. But Henry Spencer wasn't that terrible of a dad.
Yes he was a bad dad, but he isn't as horrible as people make him up to be. He's as flawed as we are, and it brings a sort of realistic dimension to his character. But that's not the point. He loves Shawn, and he thought the best way to raise him was through survival skills and trying to raise him to become like him. Obviously it was flawed, which only worsened once Shawn's mother left. He's probably really terrible at being emotionally supportive, which created a wall between them. Shawn getting arrested didn't help, and Henry moving out of Santa Barbara created just more distance. After Shawn started psych, their progress of a healthier relationship was REALLY slow, but deep down they still had love and care for each other. In the episodes where Shawn gets kidnapped and SantaBarbara2 (or something like that) really shows it. So if Shawn still had that care for his dad, somewhere along the line Henry might have done something right in his part. He did what he thought was best, which wasn't the best way (obviously) but there was love. So yeah.
Sorry guys I probably should stop yapping.
#i'm going crazy#insanity#henry spencer redemption arc needed?#henry spencer#shawn spencer#psych#psych 2006
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ughhh... yeah ok, whatever you say 💞
#bill kaulitz#Tom kaulitz#i'm dying#amazing showstopping beautiful gorgeous#kaulitz & kaulitz#kaulitz twins#tokio hotel#tokiohotel#my babies#making me go crazy#I'm going crazy#I hate it#I love them#my post
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