#i'm glad i'm alive though which is... a lot on it's own

[zepskies]

Ahhh thank you, my friend!!! 🥰 Omg I'm so glad you've heard of The Clock! (And oh YES, same with Vought Rising. 😭 I foresee so much SB fanfic coming soon from this fandom lmao.)

Love how the first line of this story is an easter egg. You never cease to amaze me, Alex 🤓

Hahaa I love you for catching that! It's funny, when I was trying to decide how much time after WWII to set this in and finally landed on November, I couldn't not do November 2. (Because I'm a nerd. 🤓)

*furrows brow* The Producers?? 🤔

Oh my God, you got me again!!! I freakin' LOVE The Producers (2005 version), and since it's set in New York (albeit in the 50s), I couldn't help a little easter egg. 😝 (again, big nerd alert)

Oh yes, we all remember that episode. Of course he would 😂 Poor Sam lol

lmfaoo Sam is so long-suffering, ain't he? 😂

Uh-huh... Dear Lord he needs help ���

Alllll the help. Pre-decent psychiatry, unfortunately. 😭

Btw, I've been doing my own 40s research for a fic and came across the contraception question. Idk why but condoms and methods of that time freak me tf out. Wondering what your experience with that was (if you came across it) lmao 😂

Oh dear lord yes, but I first learned about it from Downton Abbey. Condoms back then were the weirdest effing contraptions I've ever seen. As a woman it would scare me to have that come near me. 🤢

Ooof so rough 😮‍💨 PTSD and seeing all the dirty shit that goes on during a war is really brutal 😢 (My grandpa was in WWII and told a lot of stories when he was still alive) And then they were seperated too and didn't even know what happened to the other. Heartbreaking 😭

Oh wow, the stories your grandfather must have had. ❤️❤️ From what I've been able to research, it was truly horrific. And in the case of this story yep, compounded by the fact that Sam and Dean were separated for about three years with little to no way of knowing the other was still alive. 💔

The sass! Already love her 😂🩵

LOL she's got plenty of fire in her. ❤️‍🔥

*vibes* 😍 (even though I know MMM is set in 1958 lol)

Oh I love MMM!!! Love that comparison lol.

You don't know how fucking weak it makes me that he smokes in this. That vice will be the death of me 🫠🔥

Ahaha I remember from one of your comments on Break Me Down where SB was smoking (literally and figuratively)! 😜 I figured Dean smoking here would be true to the time period, and one of the few ways he can cope with his PTSD.

Aww yeah, Sam's just doing his job. Not easy having a vagina in 1945 and dealing with dicks... 🙄

Ughh exactly -- a major theme in this story. 😪

I get abusive vibes from shitty husband. There's more to it than cheating. Either he's emotionally abusive, physically or threathening to be. She seems like she wants to leave quick and quiet, fearing retaliation 👀 I loved how "damn" counted as cursing 😂 (Darn it!)

Ooh you're on the right track, unfortunately. 😢

And LOL gosh darn it, she just couldn't help herself! 😂😂

Yes, thank you!!! I knew Dean's spidey senses would turn on. (And I know that darn rat bastard can't hurt her now as long as soldier!Dean's around 💚)

Oh you already know, Dean's sharp enough to connect those dots. But darn right he's gonna be around to look out for her.

Melted 🫠 (I legit die every time I write "Sergeant Shaw" in TCF, but I married a military guy myself, so makes sense I can't resist a uniform and a rank 😂🥵)

Oooh I love it!! I can't resist a man in uniform either, and I'm not even married to one. 🫠 But while I'm incredibly behind in my reading, I haven't forgotten about the new chapters of The Exit Strategy, which I can't wait to dive into soon!!! 💜💜 (TCF is the prequel, right?)

I love the 1940s cadence, by the way! You can tell it's a different time period the way the characters speak, the words they choose, and how they phrase things. So well done, my friend! 👏👏

Aw thank you, Wayne!! That makes me so happy that you think so. 🥹 Especially after watching The Clock, I tried my best to make the reader's cadence feel like a woman from the time period (and Sam and Dean to some extent too). 💕

Mama's smelling mob activity... 🤌

Ooh you're not the first person to have made that observation. 😏

Such a Dean statement lol I do hope he won't feel so hopeless for long ☺️

Oooh shall see. 🥰 But I'm glad you thought it was a "Dean statement" loll, he's so self-deprecating sometimes. 🥲

Aww, they could've almost met. I love these little coincidences when people meet each other. It's fate 😍💕

Hahaa that's exactly what I was going for! (Imagine if they had met before she met Michael. 🥲)

I'm too busy plotting a gruesome murder in my head to properly get into how much I despise that guy 😂🙈

LOLL girl I don't blame you -- Michael is hot garbage, but it's a case of "got married hella quickly in wartime," so she didn't exactly know who he truly was when she married him. 😭

This was such an amazing start to this series! The storyline is so intriguing and the world-building is, well... simply otherworldly. You really took me on a journey to the 1940s here. Speechless, honestly 🩵 I so can't wait to see what else you have in store with this, but I think there will be lots of yelling from me lol 😅

I appreciate you so much, Wayne, thank you!! 🥹🥹 I'm so glad you enjoyed the start of this, and that it managed to transport you to the '40s. This chapter was a bit short, but it's a jumping off point for a lot more drama and hyjinks to come! (I anticipate lottts of yelling lmao) 💞💞

BETWEEN THE CITY & THE STARS - Part 1

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: In the fall of 1945, Dean is having a difficult time assimilating back into civilian life after the War. He’s visiting his brother Sam in New York City, where he’s beginning to build up his law firm. At two minutes to closing time, you interrupt their evening to solicit a solicitor. Your request? You need help in order to divorce your husband.

AN: My day tomorrow is going to be a bit packed, so I decided to release this a bit early for you guys! So here we go! The first chapter of yet another new series, my first ever 1940s AU. 🥰 I hope you have fun on this one, because I sure did. Again, very much inspired by The Clock (1945), starring Judy Garland and Robert Walker. 💜

Prompt for @jacklesversebingo: Historical Epic

Song Inspo: For this chapter it’s “Cry Me a River” by Ella Fitzgerald

Word Count: 3.9K

Tags/Warnings: Angst, mentions of cheating, PTSD, historical tidbits

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Part 1: Legal Grounds

November 2, 1945

Dean idly read the pamphlet stacked with others on his brother’s desk, which advertised his new and successful enterprise.

Law Offices of Winchester, Bialystock & Bloom

What do you know? His brother had his own office, his own business, and his name on a pamphlet.

Dean couldn’t help but curl a finger around a steel ball on the abacus sitting at the head of the mahogany desk, right next to Sam’s nameplate.

He let it fly. The abacus began to clack as one ball hit the other.

Sam looked up from the deposition he was writing to give his brother a wry brow raise.

“So this is what you do, huh?” Dean remarked, crossing his arms.

Without his jacket, his suspenders were on display over his shoulders. His red pinstripe tie was still in place, but his white dress shirt was rolled up to the elbows. Meanwhile, his brother preferred to keep himself more presentable with his sleeves down to his wrists. Jacket on.    

Dean glanced around the office, nodding at the line of bookshelves behind Sam, framing him as the bookish academic he’d always been. There was limited seating in here though, just a spare chair in front of the desk, and another to the right of it. Dean stood on the opposite side.

“If you’re bored, all you have to do is say so,” Sam said. “Which is strange, considering we’re smack dab in the middle of a city that never sleeps.”

He was right, Dean could concede. His little brother had given him a veritable list of things to do in New York City: visit the park, go to the zoo, see a picture show, visit a nightclub, or sample a host of restaurants that Sam knew Dean would probably enjoy.

He’d seen a lot of this place in the week that he’d been here visiting Sam, but a good deal of it he’d either spent alone, or with any willing young lady Dean came across, thanks to the demands of this office. If he was honest, entertaining young ladies was eating into the wallet in his trouser pocket, and the hustle and bustle was starting to be a little much for him.

“You don’t get tired of it?” Dean asked, gesturing to the out there beyond them. “The, uh…the lights, the noise, all the people?”

Sam picked his head up from his paperwork to consider the question. “No, I like it. Keeps my mind busy, and…I guess it makes me feel alive, you know?”

Dean supposed he could understand that, so he nodded.

Sam wasn’t fooled though. He thought he could tell what was running through his brother’s head, watching him fidget, and turn his head a bit sharply when a bus honked loudly outside the office’s glass doors as it thundered past.

It had only been two months since the end of the war. Two months since he and Dean met back in their family home in Lawrence, Kansas after three years fighting on two different fronts, in two different countries.

Both of them had enlisted, but Sam had spent most of his time in London while he was deployed, helping British Intelligence. Dean had clawed his way out of Normandy, and later, out of the Ardennes—the last offensive before the end.

Their experiences might as well have been worlds apart, but one thing remained the same: it had been three years in which neither brother knew if they’d see each other again.

Now, Sam saw the signs. Dean seemed a bit jumpy, overstimulated, but willing to be here to spend a little more time with Sam before he went back home. Guilt prickled in Sam’s gut. 

“I’ve got some work here to finish up, but afterwards let’s go to dinner,” he suggested. “Maybe see a show?”

Dean’s lips flickered at a smile. “You’re burning both ends of the candle. You know that, right?”

Sam opened his mouth to reply, when there was a knock on one of the glass doors—at the entrance to the small building. Their heads turned, and through the open door of his office, they spotted you standing there in the evening light. You wore a wide-brimmed hat on your head and a scarf underneath, wrapped over your hair and under your chin to shield your face. You knocked again with a hand covered by a leather glove, more persistently.

Cocking his head in confusion, Sam stood from his desk and left the room to let you in. Dean hung back and sat on the corner of the desk to wait. He withdrew a cigarette from the pack and a lighter from his pocket as he did so, but he heard you talking with his brother by the door.

“I’m sorry. We’re closed, miss,” Sam informed you.

“It’s still two minutes until closing. At least, according to my watch.”

“…Well, I suppose you’ve got me there.”

“So can I come in? I need to speak to a lawyer.”

“You sure it can’t wait until tomorrow?”

“I’m afraid it can’t, sir.” Your tone was firm, and it more than implied that you wouldn’t be moved. Sam paused then, perhaps to take a steeling breath.

“All right. Come with me, please.”

You later followed behind him through the hallway and into the office. With a lit cigarette between his fingers, his arms crossed, Dean took note of you. He subtly glanced down at your crème-colored blouse, neatly tucked into the long, burgundy skirt (with lipstick to match), your modest, classy heels, and the way you wore your hair. His brows subtly raised. He’d met quite a few girls this week, but he hadn’t seen a lady like you in quite some time.

Should’ve shaved this morning. The thought was accompanied by the way he swiped a subtle hand over his prickly chin.

You gave him a cursory glance in turn, and offered a polite, “Hello.”

He stood from the desk and switched his cigarette to his other hand, so he could shake yours.

“Hey there. Dean Winchester,” he said. He offered a smile with no small amount of charm. “Pleased to meet you…”

You dutifully gave him your first name only. He found that a little strange, but you soon slipped your hand out of his and focused on the nameplate on the desk, followed by Sam himself.

“So you’re brothers,” you realized. “Do you work together?”

Dean scoffed. “Nope, I’m just here to distract him.”

Sam tossed him a sidelong glance. There was a subtle edge of bitter truth in there somewhere, and you didn’t seem to miss it. You looked between the two men, a hint wary.

“Well, as I said, I’m here to speak to the solicitor,” you said. 

“That would be me,” Sam nodded. He went to his desk and sat down behind it, gesturing for you to do the same in front of him. You obliged him, smoothing your hands down your skirt once you were seated. “How can I help you?”

You met his eyes with a directness that surprised him a little.

“I want to divorce my husband,” you said.

To say it shocked the room would be an understatement. Behind you, Dean gave his brother a pair of raised brows. Sam didn’t allow himself to react too much in order to remain professional, but he still tilted his head, blinking, before he focused on you again.

“What’s your husband’s name?” he asked.

“Michael. Michael Milligan.”

“Why do you want a divorce, Mrs. Milligan?” 

Here, your gaze fell to the folded hands in your lap. 

“I have reason to believe he’s been unfaithful,” you quietly replied.

Once again, there was a pregnant pause.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Sam said. His sympathy was genuine, because he could see the way you’d hesitated to say the words, like they embarrassed you, shamed you, and saddened you all at once. 

“But I have to ask,” he added, “do you have proof?”

Dean glanced his way, his brow raising once again. Sam knew what he was thinking, just as he saw how you frowned as well. But there was a reason why he asked, and it wasn’t to be unkind.

You sighed. “What kind of proof?” 

“Pictures. Letters. A witness. Something of legal standing that we can use as leverage and as grounds to grant you a divorce, whether he wants it or not,” Sam said. 

You let out another heavy breath through your nose. “No, I don’t have anything like that.”

“Then what makes you so sure he’s steppin’ out?” Dean chimed in. By now he was leaning against the wall, off to the side where he could smoke with the window cracked open. It let in the sounds of cars and distant honking, people traversing the sidewalks. 

You turned in your seat to give him a tight look. “If you must know, there’ve been…signs. I won’t trouble you with the details, but I’m sure.”

You met Dean’s gaze, and then Sam’s firmly. 

“So will you help me?” you asked him. Sam nodded.

“Yes, I’ll look into your husband and try to find some evidence of his…extracurricular affairs.”

Your lips pursed. “And how long will it take?”

Since you were being so direct, Sam levelled you with honesty.

“It may take time,” he said. “Realistically, we’re looking at months, even after I find what we need… It would be easier to legally separate.”

You had been slowly deflating the more he spoke, but now your expression became stony.

“Mr. Winchester,” you began. “I don’t want to just be separated. I don’t want to live in our apartment, let alone share his bed or wear his last name.”

Despite your best efforts, your voice began to shake. Tears welled up and stung in your eyes.

“I don’t want anything from him, other than his signature on the damn papers,” you said. “The case is that I can no longer tolerate that man in my sight, much less in my life. Will you help me? Or should I look for another lawyer who will actually do his job.”

Sam and Dean shared a glance. For his part, Dean couldn’t remember the last time he heard a woman curse. Despite your outburst, the tears clinging to your lashes stirred both men.

“I understand, Mrs. Milligan,” Sam said. “I’ll help you. Don’t worry.”

He began to look for his handkerchief, but you retrieved one of your own from your purse and quickly dabbed at your eyes, sniffling. You were embarrassed.

“What about your fee?” you said, withdrawing your checkbook. “I, um…I have a little money stashed away. I’ve always worked, you see.”

Sam nodded and went over what his rate would be going forward. Once the two of you came to an agreement, you signed the first check right then and there, even though he felt bad for even taking it from you.

You were still sniffling, and twice you dabbed under your eyes to make sure your face was dry. When you handed over the check, your hands shook, just a little. Sam wouldn’t tell you that he discounted his usual rate.  

Again, he mentioned that he would need some time first to investigate your husband and begin collecting evidence for your case. He asked you for any documents you could safely bring him of your finances, for example. You agreed to do an investigation of your own.

“Just be careful,” Dean cautioned. He was getting an idea of what kind of man your husband was, but Dean couldn’t be too sure of what the man was capable of. He’d hate to hear of a girl like you getting hurt over a few papers.

Dean put out the bud of his cigarette on the ashtray lying on the windowsill. He pushed off the wall to approach where you and Sam were getting to your feet. You gave Dean a nod of acknowledgement.

“I will,” you agreed. “Thank you both. I’m sorry I’ve taken up so much of your time, but I’ll be heading home now.”

“Did you take a bus or a taxi?” Sam asked.

“Oh, I walked,” you replied, and you checked your watch as you gathered up your purse. You headed for the coatrack, but Dean got there first, helping you into your beige wool coat. It went nicely with the burgundy you had on, namely on your painted lips.

“Thank you,” you said to him, but you still didn’t smile. You were a hint demurer now. It seemed with Sam’s promised help, the fire had dimmed behind your eyes and your tongue.

“How about I give you an escort, make sure you get home okay?” Dean found himself offering. “It’s getting pretty late on a Friday.”

Sam shot him a knowing look, but Dean ignored him, instead focusing on your face.

You hesitated. “It’s a bit far though. Out of your way, I’m sure.”

“All the more reason that you shouldn’t go it alone at this time of night,” he argued.

You considered his offer, and him, with a quick perusal. You seemed to be judging for yourself if he was trustworthy. Dean kept his posture straight, yet relaxed. Maybe he’d liked what he saw the moment he took you in, but after hearing your situation, he felt for you. It really was just an honest offer to walk you home.

“Where did you serve?” you asked. “The Army, the Navy, or the Air Forces?”

The question took him off guard for a beat, but he answered you.

“The Army,” he replied.

“Your rank?”

“I was a sergeant, ma’am.”

You looked at him a little more shrewdly, then you relaxed.

“I might’ve guessed,” you said. “All right, Sergeant. Let’s go then.”

You buttoned up your coat and turned to leave the office. Dean shot his little brother a raise of his brows and a what do ya know? kind of smile. He grabbed his dark brown jacket and hat and followed you out.

Sam’s smile was more reserved, with a shake of his head. He closed the door behind you and Dean and locked it. He still had some work he wanted to finish before tomorrow, and Dean’s little show of chivalry would give him time to do it.

Dean had his hands in his coat pockets as he walked with you down the long city sidewalk. Night had drawn into the November sky, but with all these lights, he couldn’t see many stars. It was also cold as all hell. The frigid wind slapped at him every time they turned the corner of a building, snapping right into his bones.

Still, he supposed there was a kind of attractiveness to the city at night. The stores and their signs were all lit up gold and other neon colors. Couples and families walked together, all done up nice for wherever dinner reservation or movie they were trying to get to. It begged the question of what your husband was doing right now if he didn’t notice his wife out at this time of night.

“Where’s your husband tonight, if I might ask?” said Dean.

You shot him a look, reading between his lines.

“He claims to be working late virtually every night of the weekdays,” you said, “but he usually comes home stinking of alcohol.” Your eyes dimmed, even with the pretty lights shining in them. “He was in the Army as well. A corporal. He’s had a hard time adjusting to being back home, and I know that… He doesn’t sleep very well. And do you know, he had a hard time finding work for a while too. Luckily, he has his father’s business to fall back on.”

Dean tried not to show how much your words resonated with him. He didn’t think it a good thing to have common ground with your husband, if he was the kind of man you said he was.

“Yeah? What’s his business?” he asked.

“He manages a meat production plant, of all things,” you said.

“Ah, located in the Meat Packing District, I presume?”

“You’d presume right.”

Dean nodded. “I get it. I inherited the family home back in Lawrence. I just need to figure out what’s next.”

“Lawrence?”

“Kansas.”

“Oh, the Midwest,” you inclined your head. “What’s it like there?”

Dean scoffed. “Dusty.”

You almost laughed at that. At least it earned him your first smile of the night.

“Do you have an idea of what you’ll do for work?” you asked.

Dean chuckled. “Not just yet. Didn’t plan that far, you know?”

“Why not?” you asked.

“Hmm. Guess I didn’t see the point,” he replied with a mild shrug. It hid a deeper, darker well inside him. The part of him that hadn’t thought he’d make it back home after the war.  

You turned to him then, and you saw it behind his eyes. The two of you walked in silence for a little while as the neighborhood blocks began to shift and change, becoming somewhat quieter, more residential. Dean put himself between you and the sidewalk when a taxi zoomed by too close to the curb, resting a hand on the small of your back for protection.

Part of you trilled inside at the small touch, but you immediately beat that reaction down. Dean Winchester was an attractive man, to be sure. His hair was a lighter brown than his brother’s, and shorter too. He had an air of roguishness about him, even though he’d been perfectly pleasant so far.

But by the way he eyed you when you came into the law office, you had a strong feeling he was a flirt. You had no room for that in your life, and not only because you were still a married woman.

Yet, there was something about him that…well, made you curious.

“I was a nurse,” you said eventually, earning his attention. “I was there when they liberated Paris.”

Dean turned to you with newfound interest lighting his green eyes. “You were at Normandy.”

You nodded. “For a while. Almost a year before D-Day.”

Dean let out a short, if humorless chuckle, running a hand through his hair.

“Well, that’s where I was. At that time, at least,” he said. You gave him a similar look; respect, and perhaps finding a kindred spirit.

“I did what I could do before, during, and afterwards,” you said. “I think that’s all we can do now, Mr. Winchester.”

“Call me Dean,” he said. “If you like.”

A second smile almost tugged at your lips. You nodded in agreement.

“Dean,” you said.

In another ten minutes, he was walking you up to your porch at your apartment building. You travelled up the four small steps, while Dean stopped at the second one. For the first time, you had the vantage point above him as you turned on your heel to face him. You were about to thank him when he shook his head, scoffing.

“This guy must be dumb, deaf, and blind, sweetheart,” he said.

Your face warmed in a blush, and you gave a rueful smile when you realized what he meant. He was looking up at you like someone who couldn’t understand your plight. You knew the feeling.

“That’s kind of you, but you don’t have to do that,” you said.  

His brows furrowed. “Do what?” 

“Try to make me feel better,” you said, scuffing the toe of your sensible heels against the brick platform. Dean crossed his arms. 

“Why not?” he asked.

“Because the fact of the matter is, Sergeant, words don’t move me anymore.” You picked up your gaze from the ground, and you met his. “Flattery is just a pretty way of lying, and I’ve grown to really, truly hate lying.” 

It took him a moment, but Dean nodded.

“I guess that’s fair,” he said. He had to stop himself before he proved your point with a smart word on your pretty smile. Although, it wouldn’t have been a lie. He tipped his hat up. “Goodnight then, Mrs. Milligan.” 

You stopped him from leaving with just your voice. 

“Please,” you said, your eyes briefly closing. “Just…call me by my name. My first name.” 

Dean slowly smiled. “Perfect. I like your name better anyway.” 

This time, your smile in return was genuine, if tinged with amusement. 

“Goodnight, Dean,” you replied.

He gave you a charming grin and a more casual soldier’s salute. Then he stuck his hands back in his pockets, turned on his heel, and began to walk back the way he came. You couldn’t help but watch him go for a second or two. His legs were slightly bowed under his slacks, you noticed.

With a blush, you shook your head to rid yourself of those silly thoughts. You closed the door.

That night, Michael came home late, as usual—this time at two in the morning. He reeked of alcohol, also per usual, but this time when he rolled over towards you in bed to say goodnight, you stiffened. He also smelled like a woman’s perfume. Expensive stuff. 

This was one of those signs you hadn’t wanted to tell Sam Winchester. Frankly, it was crude and embarrassing.

“Sorry it’s so late, darling. Got held up,” he said, kissing your shoulder through your nightgown. His fingers played with the ends of your hair while you laid facing away from him.

You squeezed your eyes shut. You were fighting every instinct you had inside you that wanted to recoil from his touch and bolt out of the bed. When just a few months ago, his touch was all you craved, almost desperately so. 

“Where were you?” you asked. Somehow, you kept your voice steady and calm. “You weren’t at the office all this time.”

“Had a couple of drinks with the guys after,” he said with a shrug. “Sorry. The night got away from us, but, uh…I’ll be home on time for dinner tomorrow.”

With your back turned to him, you were able to roll your eyes.

“What’d you make tonight, outta curiosity?” he asked.

“Egg salad sandwiches,” you replied flatly. 

“Hmm. No real loss there then.” 

Your teeth clenched. “If I thought you were actually going to be home when you said you would, maybe I would make a rump roast with all the fixings.” 

Michael paused, but then, he grasped your shoulder, slowly turned you around in the bed until you were facing him. His face was sterner. 

“Excuse me?” 

You remained quiet. Your gaze travelled downwards, avoiding his.

Michael huffed, shaking his head. “Sometimes you got a real mouth on you. One of these days, you just might regret it.” 

He turned his back on you, laying on his side. You did the same while trying to stem your tears.

When did this become your life?

AN: Oof, sorry for all that angst at the end there, but I hope you liked the first chapter! Did you enjoy soldier!Dean and soldier/lawyer!Sam? Do you want to find a dark alley for Michael yet? 😅

And are you ready for what's coming up next? 😘

Next Time:

Dean both could and couldn’t believe it. He might not have been a saint himself when it came to the fairer sex, but if he went through the whole ordeal of marrying one, let alone a straight-shooting woman like you, beautiful, clever…

“Geez,” he muttered. “He could’ve at least waited until the ink dried on the certificate.” 

Sam nodded in agreement. He picked up the receipt to the Cotton Club, and he shot his brother a grin.

“Wanna go to the club tonight?”

Read Part 2 on Patreon! || Coming to Tumblr/Ao3 on 2/14

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[somekindafairy]

god i know this is a dangerous thought game to go down but sometimes i really do just wish i realized i was trans earlier, like i really am out here feeling like a real person for the first time in my life in my 30's huh. :/

[skibasyndrome]

.

[thankskenpenders]

At long last, the trailer for Sonic movie 3 is here, giving us our first look at Shadow! It looks like a fun time, though my excitement is probably more tempered than a lot of peoples' due to a few things I have mixed feelings on. Here are my off-the-cuff thoughts about it.

Shadow

Yes, it does seem like they've really nailed Shadow here. Fowler's attachment to the character clearly shows. The action looks cool and really sells Shadow as a serious threat. He's got his bike, he's doing Chaos Control all over the place, it's great. Keanu is very much just doing his regular voice, but it fits well enough. The backstory from SA2 seems to mostly be there, though I'm sure some details will be adjusted. Mostly I'm still just amazed that we're getting a major tentpole blockbuster movie this Christmas starring Shadow the fucking Hedgehog that treats him as a serious character worthy of respect. We've come such a long way...

I mean, just... what an image to see on the big screen.

I also really like the way they're setting Shadow up as a foil for movie Sonic, kind of his dark mirror image as a Mobian hedgehog whose family life on Earth ended in tragedy and turned him into a vengeful antagonist. It's pretty straightforward, but it works well.

Robotnik(s)

Welp. They put Jim Carrey in a fat suit. I suppose we knew this day would come eventually.

I guess a small part of me is glad that movie Eggman finally actually looks like Eggman in every way that matter, but they're completely playing it as a joke at his expense here. And, yeah, the Sonic franchise isn't immune to fat jokes, the early years of the franchise (particularly Western adaptations) gave Sonic tons and tons and tons of jabs about Eggman's weight. But I thought we'd moved past that. But here we are with a depressed movie Robotnik binge eating and gaining a lot of weight like Fat Thor and the other characters think he's so GROSS and look his clothes don't even fit him anymore, haha! There's so much of this crammed into the trailer. I can only pray they don't do this in every fucking scene he's in in the movie.

I do like the plot of Sonic reluctantly teaming up with Robotnik to try and stop Shadow, though. It's very different from SA2, but we knew it would be, and I think that gives the movie some potential for Sonic to have kind of a dark turn of his own that mirror's Shadow's. I have a feeling that Sonic will try to get back at Shadow for something he does - maybe hurting Tom or something like that - and in the end Sonic sympathizes with Shadow and decides they have to stop their cycle of revenge, teaming up to stop some final threat.

Oh, and, of course... Jim Carrey is also playing Professor Gerald. Who might still be alive? Or maybe it's a hallucination on Ivo's part? I don't know, but either way, I'm here for it. Everyone joked about them doing it and then they went and did it. Yes, it risks playing him as a joke character, but the shot of him and Shadow mourning Maria while surrounded by GUN soldiers makes me believe he won't be a total joke. I wouldn't be surprised if he was the true final antagonist of the film, which would diverge a lot from the games but would work as its own version of the story.

And again, WHAT an image to see on the big screen lmao

Everyone else

The human cast is VERY downplayed in this trailer, but let's not forget that they're still going to get a lot of screentime one way or another. The Sonic 2 trailer barely showed anything from Hawaii. Where oh where is my best friend Wade?

Speaking of the Wade show, Knuckles... frankly still seems to be mostly a comic relief character heavily influenced by MCU Thor here, getting some jokes in the trailer but immediately getting Worfed by Shadow when it comes time to fight. Tails seems to be flying the gang around in a real-ass helicopter, and his big pilot's helmet is funny, but otherwise he doesn't really do anything here aside from getting stomped by Shadow. I really hope they don't get sidelined too hard, but frankly I fully expect them to, Tails especially.

And, of course... I can't help but think about who isn't here. Namely: the girls. Yes, three movies and one streaming miniseries into this film franchise, exactly zero of the female (animal) characters from the games have made the jump to live action. Please allow me to bitch about this.

Despite her being both 1) a main character in the game this movie is loosely adapting and 2) my fave, I suppose I can understand why Rouge isn't here. Paramount took one look at that bat cleavage and went "nope," cowards that they are. There was some speculation that Kristen Ritter could be playing Rouge, but we now know she's just playing someone at GUN. But, again, I at least get why they'd be hesitant to include her.

But Amy... Amy is such a glaring omission at this point. There's no excuse. She's the female lead of the franchise. She's one of Sonic's closest friends. (Honestly, these days it's more accurate to say Team Sonic is Sonic, Tails, and Amy, not Knuckles, especially in the comics.) And she's also a key player in Shadow's arc in the game. Shadow has his change of heart because Amy reminds him of Maria! And yet, she's nowhere to be seen. It sucks.

(I know some fans are still holding out hope for Amy, but the toys for the movie already leaked and she didn't get anything, so I have to assume she's not in it.)

It's not like I really expected either of them to be in this movie, but that doesn't make it less disappointing that they set up the film franchise in a way that makes it logistically difficult to include 90% of the characters and conveniently managed to leave all of the girls in the "low priority" pile. Yes, I know everyone points to how much Tails was downplayed in the third act of Sonic 2 as evidence that it's just so impossible to introduce more than one new Mobian character in each movie and give them the focus they deserve. Yes, I know having to come up with a story excuse to bring more characters over to Earth is an obstacle, especially when they're gonna have to devote time to Shadow's backstory. But these are excuses. It's a writer's job to figure out solutions to problems like this. They could make it work if they really wanted to. I'd take Amy having a suboptimal amount of screentime over her not being in it at all. It's just not a priority for them. That's what disappoints me. You can justify these absences from a logical perspective, but I just care way more about Amy and Rouge as characters than I do about Shadow, so there's no way for this to not sting.

But, at the end of the day, for what the movie is actually trying to do, it seems to be pulling it off well. Aside from the fat jokes. I don't like the fat jokes. But the Shadow stuff is good. As always, this live action version of the franchise is never going to be my ideal version of Sonic, but it's turned out far better than it had any right to, and I'll probably have fun when I go see this in theaters and hear Live and Learn.

[dogcircle-scans]

I'm really curious to know if you have officially dropped the manga. If so (and even if not obvs), I'd just like to thank you for so many amazing years of awesome translations. This manga may not be very popular in the west but I'm glad you kept bringing it for so many of us

Hey, sorry for just now seeing this even though this question was sent back in late November.

No, we haven't officially dropped the manga, and Idk if any group has picked up the series while I was gone. Emphasis on the "I" because our absence was not a consenting choice made by anyone else in this group. So if anyone harbors any kind of resentment, then do not direct it towards anyone but me. If we ever decide to officially drop the series, I'll make an official announcement on this blog. To be honest, I wasn't really gonna make much hubbub about a comeback and just post a chapter as if no time had passed. But, because I got this question and you were very nice about it. I'll give some insight.

- 🦙

The only reason I'm an active part of this fandom (any fandom now really) despite it being against my lurker nature and excessive anxiety issues is because I was encouraged to do so by a friend. If you know me from Discord, then you probably know that aside from running this blog, I'm leader of the scan group and owner of its server, I'm even an admin for the Natsume fan server which is its own separate thing.

I don't know if that sounds already sounds overwhelming, but just to scare you, I also proofread the scripts so the dialogue sounds natural and act as quality checker for each chapter. This means cleaning/redrawing sections of pages if the CLDR forgot or didn't meet the standard of quality I'm looking for. Similar with typesetting, I'll rearrange the text if I feel it could be done better. I'm also the main SFX person. When it comes to the scan server, outside of running and maintaining it, I also act as mod to make sure people aren't posting anything inappropriate or inoffensive + setting up bots and permissions.

When I was in High School and even during my early years of college, I could manage it cause I had the support and energy for it. Plus, my love for Natsume was scary intense. So when life got hard, I found that working on scans acted as a lifeline.

Then I had a messy fallout with the friend who prompted all of this, and things shifted. It didn't help that things in my personal life got really bad and more or less stayed that way for 2/3 years. And because of the association, and the guilt of falling behind, working on Natsume was no longer a stress-relieving activity. It became the source of my stress. I ran away because I was scared and overwhelmed. It wasn't healthy and it only made things worse, honestly.

But, I've been really hard on myself over this past year, and I finally reached the point of wanting to come back, but the guilt from being a deadbeat was still eating me alive. Then I got really sick at the start of this month, and I'm no lie, I'm still sick... but that gave me a lot of time to think and reevaluate all kinds of things. Because honestly? I miss working on scans and the collaborative aspect that I fell in love with because of Natsume.

And literally just this past Saturday/Sunday night, I sent a message to the group, apologizing for what I did and provided a similar explanation of why I did what I did. I trying it as just an explanation and not an excuse - I hope I was able to do that here too.

I told my group to give me several days before I actually start working on scans again, though, because it'll allow me to catch up with everything and figure out what needs to be done next, and it'll also give me more time to recover.

Thank you once again for being kind and understanding! I really appreciate it 🥹💚

[zenithofstories]

so i've just finished watching all the first episodes, so i wanted to give my thoughts on the first Wild Life session:

-so much fun i love it so much. i'm so glad they're all still having fun and continuing the series, and that Mumbo and Lizzie came back, despite dying early in Secret Life (i was a tiny bit worried they might get a bit dejected and pass on this one). also thrilled Ren is able to play this time; he's a blast

-there is a lot of mistrust going around which is very curious to me. most of it stems from previous seasons and has no bearing on what was happening at the time. Pearl straight up telling Cleo she expected her to betray her; Mumbo and Skizz not trusting Martyn, and then Grian; and then not trusting that Martyn just wanted to use their enchanter; the huge immediate aggression towards Scar when he came out of the mountain into Grian, Skizz and Mumbo's base; Mumbo not trusting Skizz (his teammate!) when he asked for someone to pass him a diamond; Scott, Cleo, Pearl and Impulse assuming Joel stole their cows, probably more i'm forgetting. it's definitely obvious to me that these people have learnt how the games work and learnt from the pain (as we do). i'm very curious to see if the general server mistrust grows, and the impact it has on everyone and the people

-i love JImmy, Big B, Lizzie and Ren forming a dnd party and Ren (in true bardic fashion) has a guitar within reach and is willing to break into song at the first campsite (this honestly might be my favourite moment from all the life series at the moment. the guitar within reach, Ren's beautiful voice, how much the others thought it was great. fantastic vibes all around)

-i really want Scar and Martyn to team up. they are both instantly mistrusted, to the point that both of them (in their first episodes, no less) expressed that if people are going to treat them like a villain, then they may as well act like it. if the two of them team up to take revenge on everyone being mean to them in a new series i think they would be a force to be reckoned with

-Skizz and Mumbo is a fantastic team-up. both very genuine people who are so funny together

-i hope they get the lag fixed, or that it was just from the size-changing mod and they don't have to deal with it for the rest of the series

-Gem and Joel's partnership - in the early days Gem is going to be a fantastic counterbalance for Joel; help keep him calmer and curb his wild ideas. But once Gem gives in to her own urges... oh boy

-does Big B know that he can go caving with people? cause he seemed to be under the impression that he had to get geared out before he could make friends and it would suck if he ended up alone all the time because it hasn't occurred to him that he can go caving with people right at the start

-double life thought: i know most people count Pearl as the winner, but did Scott technically win as well? cause they were the last pair alive, and died in the same tick. it probably doesn't matter at all, but i wonder about it sometimes (especially in how it would affect Martyn's lore but that's not canon)

-i don't think Jimmy has broken the canary curse. i subscribe to the theory that cause Lizzie died in the End, the Watchers weren't able to perceive it and then he was the first to die in the Overworld (i'm not counting Real Life as canon; it happened and i enjoyed it but it wasn't a full series and they were deliberately playing it silly as an april fool's joke. very glad that Cleo won though. hope they get a full series win as well)

-i'm glad that Tango and Skizz (deliberately) didn't team together, but i kinda wish Tango had ended up in a different group. him, Etho and Bdubs are fun, don't get me wrong, but a whole lot of the fun of the series is seeing people interact and work with people they don't usually. Tango and Jimmy was a top tier pairing in Double Life, and Tango is hilarious. i would love to see him branch out more and work with some more people

-there is more than just the wild card. Grian said he wasn't going to explain it, and i didn't notice anything else happening (but i'm also not expecting it to be much until they get to the late game). i think that there will be a wild card that affects the players, and then also something that affects the world? we'll see, i guess

-now that everyone who has played is playing (i'm pretty sure? if i've forgotten someone i'm gonna be sad) who is gonna sub in if needed?

-i love Mumbo's "that was sub-one intelligence mate" when they all fell 🤣

-i'm not sure what the purpose of including the creakings or whatever they're called? nevermind i just looked it up and they're going to be in the game at some point. weird. i'm not sure how i feel about creakings coming to minecraft though

-very glad they've got six lives this time. it will both allow them to not worry so much about mistakes and accidents (as evidenced by Pearl) and encourage them to take risks, which will be fantastic

[starrycassi]

Okay, I'm actually obsessed with your 'jayvik works for silko au'. I like that Viktor is the face of their work, the confident one that everyone knows (and fears, as they should). Also, I imagine Jayce like he looked in THAT council room scene in e8s2 (he looks SO hot in those dark clothes and the beard, damn (and I'm ace so that's saying something, lol)). Just slightly longer hair maybe.

I think Jayce would be in denial for a few years about the true situation he's in, regarding not just Viktor and their power dynamics, but their work and Silko and the situation in Zaun in general. But then he would have a epiphany about it and then slowly realizes stuff and accepts it surprising well. By the end of the time skip he's completely on board with what he's doing (though in the same way Viktor is, and the two conspire together).

You said we can ask for more of the au so, if I may maybe request a tender moment between the two? Like their love confession or them getting together. Just Viktor being vournelable with Jayce and it's the firs time ever he is with someone since like really early childhood. And he's freaking out internally about it but just wants to so badly.

Or the scene where Vi and Cait meet them (mainly Jayce) post timeskip (does it happen the same time Vi and Jinx meet for the fist time? Or is it different). I just kind of want to see Caits reaction to Jayce being alive and the whole, he's working for the kingpin, making weapons and is married to an infamous henchman/silkos inventor/the Herald/whatever Viktor is. I think it would be hilarious.

What's your Ao3? Would you consider posting this au there?

First of: I'm SO glad people like this au because it's been on my mind ever since the show barely came out!! This + crow queen + the meadow au are the very first ones I developed for Arcane and I've been slowly going insane over them. Hehehe. I do have to preface this by saying: when originally created, it was done with *League* lore in mind. I've had to tweak and adjust things for them to make sense with some of the newer backstory + revelations. Which is one of the main reasons as to why I've only posted it as ideas/snippets. I don't even want to get into the logistics of how Piltover would evolve without the hexgates (since their creators are buried deep in the underground and refuse to work with anyone in the council) or what the presence of not only one, but now *two* apparent heirs for Silco could entail. It's a very nice idea that I love, but it's nowhere near as fleshed out as it needs to be for me to write a fic :((

One of the main reasons I enjoy it is the subversion of their power dynamic! In this one, is Viktor who has to step out and defend Jayce when needed (there's actually a scene very similar to the last EP of S1, where Viktor has to cement Jayce's standing as his *partner* (meaning, equal, so please stop trying to kill him or undermining him) in front of Zaun's chembarons. Though Jayce eventually ends up earning his own name and reputation! I've actually got a small scene for that in the works, but basically people's perspective of him goes: that's herald's new boytoy (is he going to last?) > that's herald's new lap dog (is he trying to steal sevika's spot?) > He is to Viktor what Sevika is to Silco + they fuck > that's herald's new apprentice (is he good enough for the title) to, finally > He Defender (or smth idk not quite sure of his Zaun Tittle yet), Herald's partner, Jinx's second favorite. Jayce has to fight tooth and nail for his spot at Silco's chain of command, but once he has it no one dares question him. People fear provoking them both because of The Herald's vindictive vein as much as they are terrified of The Defender's (I'm between that and warden really) senseless rage. However, Zaunites do start going to Jayce for help, since he is the kinder and more approachable out of the bunch. Silco lets Jayce run around fixing houses and "playing hero" because it's actually gaining them a lot of sympathy and making more people slowly rally behind his ideals.

I've also given silco a bit more of a political incline. There is a draft of Jayce and Viktor convincing Silco to start a small public school, but it's still a "maybe", since there's the whole child labor aspect and allat.

And, yeah. Jayce is completely in denial for almost a year. He's lost everything he's ever known, was faced with the crude reality that piltover will, can and has turned its back against one of their own. He's bitter and humiliated, after all, Jayce does have a bit of an ego in the og show and everything that transcends here hurts him. Also, Viktor and Silco are both spewing shit about Piltover in his ear every single day (not without reason lol). But you are generally right with that analysis!! When he does have the final breakdown, he bounces back fast as hell. He becomes really codependent with Viktor and Jinx in those times, then gets better and better at accepting the cards he's been dealt.

I'm still debating about the plot point of Viktor and Jayce conspiring to take over Silco's place and *actually* do something for Zaun. In this au we would have: them trying to win over Sevika, secretive plotting, them do their best to properly mold Jinx so she will eventually rebel (or, in case Silco is taken out by that point, she can step in and allow them a place at her side)

Also I'm SO glad S2 gave me a proper image for visualizing Zaunite Jayce. I was screaming at my computer when I realized that all my dreams had been answered. I'm debating giving him streaks of color or something. Idk yet.

I WILL write that as soon as I'm out of finals lol. I also have one of Viktor's efforts to convince everyone of Jayce being treated as his equal and the way they meet. It's all a bit convoluted.

Some things I'm not quite if I should change yet;

Originally, Singed cut off Viktor's leg and gave him a prosthetic, framing this as "getting rid of the bad parts". This would eventually evolve into the whole cyborg-viktor we see in the games. There was also a very homoerotic situation where he got Jayce to cut off his hand when the wrist stopped answering properly. Idk sorry I've a lot of weird kinks in store for them.

This also meant Viktor giving Jayce modifications. One thing that im definitely keeping is that he gives Jayce sharper canines + possibly adds a "venom" mechanism so he can better defend himself. They experiment on each other as a way to show love okay. Also Jayce gets a piercing. Idk where how or why but I need this man pierced. Maybe him and Viktor get matching ones like Alternate Ekko and Alternate Powder. Gold and Silver little bands. Why not.

There was a whole thing about Viktor just kinda going ham and trying to add body mods to their already shimmered soldiers.

Et cetera

Edit: I want to clarify that I understand that sevika is loyal to ideas, not people. She is loyal to Silco because he is the best bet they have at the moment, and then to Jinx for the same reason (yes she definitely cares for jinx but u get the idea). Still, they would have to work REALLY hard to convince this woman to put her life on the line to betray the biggest mob boss around. She does stand by them and their ideas a lot of times, wanting Zaun's betterment as much as they do.

[tothosewholisten]

Forever Healed | TUA insert

Chapter: 09

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Masterlist

…

I went downstairs to see two of my estranged roommates, Allison and Luther with somber looks on their faces. I was about to speak up but stopped once I saw who they were looking at. It was Grace, who no longer moved or sang or comforted us.

She was dead, and I know robots aren’t alive but this felt like another death I'd have to witness.

“The two guys last night, the ones with the mask, did this to her,” Allison said to Luther. The two didn't look up to see me, both were in their heads at the death of their mother.

Grace was sitting in the painting room chair, the space we kids dubbed as her bedroom because she didn’t sleep or have one of her own. The only thing that was missing from her was her signature smile and her normal pale arm. Instead, her arm was sliced open by what looked like a knife and oozed out wires of all different colors.

I don’t remember the two gunmen carrying knives last night but who knows they could've gotten crafty. But It's sad to think If she was a real person, I would’ve been able to save her.

I made my presence known by stomping my shoe and moving closer to the pair. Allison's eyes slightly lit up once she saw me. “You’re okay!” She sighed happily.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” I giggled with my arms open as she ran over to embrace me. Luther did not move from Grace's body though, his face was cold and distant. I didn't want to ask but I started to think, what happened last night?

“Oh god, have you seen Mom yet?” She whispered. “This has to do with Five somehow. I mean they were looking for him..”

I frowned. “I haven't seen him or Klaus in some time now and I'm starting to get nervous.”

Allison reassures me that they'll turn up but she turns back to Luther who has something to say. “I know I was arguing to turn Grace off, but it doesn't make seeing her like this any easier.”

“Poor Diego.” I blurt out. “This is gonna be so hard for him.” I couldn’t see eye to eye with him, like ever. But I did see him a bit differently after yesterday.

“Yeah, it's hard on all of us.” He says while walking out of Grace's room.

“Hey, wait,” I called out to Luther before he left. The giant man turns to look at me, uncertainly. “I know it was you last night, the one who saved me. I just want to say thank you for pulling that guy away from me.”

“You’ve saved me in my lifetime more times than I can count. I can tell something is off about you guys today and I don’t think I was awake to hear it but. I just wanted to say thanks.” I smile at him.

“But anyways you guys should talk. I'm going to go look for Klaus.” I shoot Allison one more goodbye before heading out.

“I'm glad you're okay, Y/n” I hear one of them mutter as I leave.

..

“Klaus?” I yell all around the mansion. By now I've checked all his normal spots. His room, my room, Ben’s room, the kitchen, Reginald’s bar, all the bathrooms and all the random nooks and crannies we'd hide in as children with Ben.

Ben.. to think I've been so preoccupied these past days to think about him. And I think about him all the time. He'd know where Klaus was instantly, he was just that type of person.

I go back upstairs to my room to change before heading outside. To check Klaus's frequent spots around town.

First, the alley where he'd buy drugs and all kinds of things. It was dingy and dark but I'd find him here a lot back when I was younger. I left the mansion but never left him. Even let him crash with me at my ex's house whenever he needed to, which my ex was never happy about. We found happiness in walking the streets and laughing with each other till sunrise.

But it wasn't always good, sometimes I'd catch him in a rough spot due to drugs and he'd push me away. I never stopped trying, I would never give up on him and he wouldn't if i was in his spot.

Next was my actual apartment. I hadn't been back in forever, maybe he got tired of the academy and came here? But my apartment was small and didn't have many places for him to hide, it was clear he wasn't there either.

The last place I could think of was a park we used to go to as kids. There'd be days when Reginald was less diligent about watching us, and after dark all of us kids would escape to come here. And have at least a few hours of solace before returning to hell.

I took a seat against a large tree that blocked the sunlight from shining in the park. He wasn't anywhere I'd known he would be. I thought he wouldn't leave town without telling me, but I'm not even sure. I let out small huffs of frustration as I buried my head in my hands.

Suddenly there were more tears on my head than there were in my eyes. I sniffle while looking up. The once-cloudy sky has turned into pouring rain and I'm outside without an umbrella.

..

14 YEARS AGO

“Are we ready to go?” Asked Klaus.

The three of us, Klaus, Ben and I decided we were leaving for the park. After a particularly hard day and mission, it was clear I needed out. Ben asked everyone if they wanted to go, but they all looked at each other then us and snickered.

They told us we should go just the two of us. We actually were about to leave, but Klaus was the only one stupid enough to join us. Just kidding.

The sky was clear this day but dark, meaning it was a clear indication that it was time. Diego and Allison told us they'd distract Reginald if he asked anything. We knew we couldn't go out the front door, instead we went out my window.

Klaus was the first one to jump down; he insisted that he was the bravest out of all of us. And Ben slowly followed after him.

That left me in the window, looking down at the very tall jump I'd have to land. I shook my head at the two. “Why couldn't we have left down Five's window? There are actual steps there!” I whisper yell.

Klaus chuckles. “We're already here, just jump!”

I know when jumping from a high distance without a cushion landing spot, it would help if you didn't look down. But my eyes were glued to the ground anyway. I would be fine if I jumped, any scars would go away but just the thought of it made me shake.

“Unless you're a chicken! That's okay, me and Benny will go without you.” He yells.

“Keep your voice down,” Ben says, elbowing him in the stomach. “Ow!” Klaus cries. Ben looks up at me. “But he's got the right idea! You'll be okay just jump.” He says stuffing his hands in his black jacket.

“Just go without me! I'll go to bed.” I reply, trying to smile at the pair.

“Y/n, listen to me. You'll be okay, jump and..” I didn't hear the last part of what he said.

“What??!” I yell.

“He said he's gonna catch you!” Klaus snickers. “Shut up Klaus,” Ben whispers back. “I will though, if I have to!”

I sigh not wanting to ruin their fun, I'm the one who wanted to go out anyway. “Okay, I'll jump.”

I take a small running start before leaping out of my large window. The wind in my hair felt great, it made me feel like I was almost flying. Until I looked down at the floor I was about to land on. I closed my eyes as I was about to scream and go head-first into the ground. But as I opened my eyes I saw that the cement never smacked me in the face. Instead, I land on someone else.

Ben tried his best but he is still a boy. He held his arms open but it ended with him knocking into the cement and me gripping onto his black hoodie for dear life. I quickly get off him and pull him to his feet as Klaus hollers in laughter at us.

Once he got up I could tell that Ben's head looked a little bruised as well as his hands. I placed my hands on his and watched as yellow wisps of light reached all of his bruises. "Thanks." He smiled and I nodded back. I stopped holding his hands when I heard Klaus almost falling back in laughter.

"You guys-" I cut him off before he embarrasses me by kicking him in the shins with all my might. "Not another word," I mutter.

He held onto his legs and whimpered in pain, now it was our turn to laugh at him on the way to the park. I did eventually heal him that day but seeing him embarrassed was too funny to see go away. We did this several more times, just the three of us. And honestly, it was probably more fun than the whole group.

..

PRESENT DAY

I laugh underneath the now suddenly wilting tree at the thought, but it slowly turns into sobs. I don't have Ben anymore but I've somewhat come to understand that, but now I lost Klaus too. And Vanya is gone, I'm truly all alone. I sit there for what I think is hours, thinking back. Until the constant pour turns into drizzling and I stand up to go back to the academy. Maybe take a bath.

I slowly made it to a crosswalk so lost in thought that I didn't even see that it said I can go. But I am brought back to reality by the sound of a honking car. Some dick in a van was honking his horn at me?

What I did to piss this guy off I do not know, this was above even a catcall. He was demanding I move. Deciding to ignore the shithead I start to cross the road, until he almost runs me over.

“There's a crosswalk sign, do you see that?” I yell at the van. But the ugly vehicle would not stop honking at me, after being soaked in the rain I'm starting to lose my sanity. So I walked over to the van, thinking I was going to lay into this man and give him all the rage I'd been feeling. And maybe kick his car a few times.

I look at the man's window to see it's not a man at all. It's a boy? I know this shithead. “Five? Why are you honking at me!” I scream at the pubescent boy.

“Get in.” He yells back.

..

The two of us sat in silence for a while. I watched this fake teenager drive around and honk at people who were being stupid like a full-grown adult.

“Why are you here?” I ask, feeling uncomfortable in my wet clothes. “I'm looking for someone, I saw you walking.” He mutters.

“Oh okay..” I pause.

“I was calling your name before I started honking at you. You should really look where you're going.”

“I was fine. Aren't you the one who tried to run me over?”

“...”

“I have a question. Where'd you steal this van?”

“I didn't steal it, I borrowed it from a man in an alley.” he insisted. “Very likely story Five,” I remark back.

“I'm going to give it back. whenever I'm done with it.

“Okay new question, how do you know how to drive?”

“I can do everything.”

I scoff. “Yeah okay.”

“Well, I have a question for you. Why are you walking alone without an umbrella?”

“Just for shits and giggles, I'm looking for Klaus, have you seen him?”

“Can't say that I have. Where do you want me to drop you off?” He says while taking a familiar path that will lead us back to the academy.

I turn to look at him with my eyebrows furrowed. “Can't I stay? Join you on your spy missions?” Five looks at me, clearly not keeping his eyes on the road. Almost in shock about me wanting to stay with him. To break the silence I force a cough. “I mean I don't know what else to do right now. I can leave If I'm cramping your style.”

“Okay” is all he says while turning in the opposite direction from the mansion. “Well, that means we are going to find someone.”

“Who?” I ask.

“You'll see,” Five tells me.

Five parked us in another familiar part of town, where Klaus, him and I were not even a day or two ago. “Oh no, Five we're gonna terrorize these people again?” I said while looking around.

“No, we're just going after the main man. I need more answers.” Five peers out the side window to look at a different busy street.

“You really think he's going to give you more information if you just barge into his office again?”

He turns back to me. “We're not going in, we're going to him.”

“Oh my god..”

Five explains that he plans to corner the man in his own car after he comes back from whatever hobby he does while out of the office. I try to tell him that this plan is going to go wrong but of course he doesn't listen. He reached into his glove compartment and grabbed a small pocket knife, and I'm sure he didn't just grab it to look cool.

“You told me you're going to ask for more information, Five,” I questioned while reaching for the knife.

He grabs the weapon back and holds it higher in the air. “Let's see where the night takes us.”

..

Five blinks him and I next to a tree, like the one I was at earlier. The tree faces a blue car that must've belonged to the guy whose name slipped my mind.

Not long after he walks toward us, with a tiny puppy in hand. He looked almost unrecognizable out of his lab coat, but not in a good way. His clothes reminded me of a jogging outfit they also matched his blue car.

He opens the car and places his puppy into the back seat then he starts to get into the car himself. Before he can sit down Five pulls me with him when he blinks into the car. Sitting me down in the backseat with the puppy who surprisingly is not barking at me yet.

Five blinks into the front seat, but the man doesn't even notice him. Only flinching back when Five lunges at him with his pocket knife.

“Oh, Jesus!” He cries out. Five doesn't even give him another moment to think before going straight into grilling. “One chance. That's all you got. One chance to tell me exactly what's going on in that lab.” He yells, putting the knife up to the man's throat.

So much for the peaceful approach. The man moves his eyes towards me for a split second and then back to the terrifying Five. “I… I manufacture prosthetic devices for fake patients. I bill the insurance companies and then sell them for cash on the black market.” He stutters.

“including eyeballs?” Five asked.

The man gulps. “Yeah, they're my biggest seller. I mean they sell like hotcakes. I--I've got a list, a waiting list, probably twenty buyers.”

“So the serial number, my uh, brother gave you..” He finishes my sentence. “Could've already been bought. Yes, off– off the books.” He says.

Five huffs like he's a chain smoker and starts to get more tense, letting the knife get centimeters away from the man's skin.

“I needed that list, Lance. Names and numbers, and I need it now!” Five screeches.

I take my eyes off them to turn to the dog that's nearing closer to me. At first, I tried to keep my distance but this puppy insisted on getting close. Which shouldn't be a big problem. It's a small dog, but something was off. I'm squeezing myself practically against the door to get away from this dog but he keeps getting closer. I close my eyes and I'm back to that day so many years ago.

I'm not there anymore, it's time for me to move on but I can't. My hands start to shake and my body runs cold. I couldn't help but think that this dog knew what I did to the other, way back when and wanted to take revenge.

While taking deep breaths I turned my head slowly to get a better look at the pup.. this dog wasn't going to hurt me, it didn't know what I did, and I was okay. So why do I feel like this?

“I don't have it. I mean, not on me. The only copy is in my safe at the lab.” Lance's words break my deep breaths and I try once again to focus on their conversation. This is for Five, as well as saving the world. Letting my depressing nature go is what I need to do now.

“Well, you start the car, then.” Five whispers. “Cause we're going on a field trip.” He slowly takes the knife off Lance's throat.

“O-Okay...” Lance tries to put himself back together at least enough to put his seatbelt on.

“Now.”

“Okay..”

..

Lance drives us back to the MeriTech headquarters which is also where Five’s van is. I'm the first to hop out of the car with Five and Lance a few steps behind me.

But I stopped in place once I saw dark smoke coming from the building. “Something’s wrong,” I told five. But he never stopped walking, and without a second thought, he rushed over to the fire. “Five wait!” I called out while chasing him down. Leaving Lance to his own devices.

The angry flames weren’t just in one room, it had spread throughout every single room in the building making it impossible to go inside. Five stopped at the entrance of the building when I caught up with him. We both stared at the building on fire.

“Get down!” I screamed over the sound of burning rooms as I tackled him to the ground. The flames rose from not just the building but towards us, causing an explosion of fire that could’ve killed him.

He wailed out at the sudden burst, but safely hit the ground. Me on the other hand, I was covered in marks. But thankfully my clothes were no longer wet, just slowly catching on fire. I dragged him out of the way more towards the street as I heard sirens in the distance.

“We need to move now,” I stress to Five but he doesn’t reply back. His eyes never break from the fire. “I know, I know but let’s go,” I say again hoping he would budge this time. But he didn't, so I grabbed him and pulled him back over to the van.

Once we get to the van without Lance, it is clear that whoever had lit the building on fire knew we were there. And I knew that because the front window was fogged with a message.

It read. “Your brother says hi.. brother? Which one.” I say out loud while thinking. Five finally started to move from his motionless state when I looked over at him. But he wouldn't be any help right now. The look on his face and the dullness in his eyes was a look I've seen on many people's faces before.

But then it hit me. “Klaus.”

…

Would you wanna be on a taglist for this story? Say taglist in comments

[tj-dragonblade]

for the make me write! see, it would be dreadfully predictable of me to submit the 🎓

so I'll offer you a choice, depending on which you deem needs your attention more: 🍪 or 🎓

Oh you know me, if you send me two I'm going to do both. 💖 These follow on directly from the last snippet in their wip tags.

For 🍪:

= "Is this a recipe of your own devising?" Dream is eager, he finds, to hear more of this story of Hob's traditions.

"Oh no, no, this is Oma Franziska's gingerbread recipe." Hob has that fondly-nostalgic look again. "She insisted we call her that, me and Jim. She'd lost contact with her own grandkids when she left Germany, you see, and she sort of adopted us when we moved in next to her. She knew Jim's truth, too, and it was nice to have a neighbor who he could be himself with."

Hob has told Dream of Jim previously. Jim, who had been Hob's wife Peg to the rest of the world but Hob's husband in safe company; Jim, who had loved the sea, who sang bawdy pub songs with the loveliest voice, who left Hob with many fond memories and stories to carry with him as he continued living.

"She looked after us both, in a fashion. Knew her way around the kitchen blindfolded and backwards—I'm very sure food was her love language. Always made sure the neighbors were fed if they needed and was just—she was really something, y'know? I'm glad I got to know her." Hob gives the dough a final roll with a flourish. "Stayed put until she passed, even though I was kind of pushing it for that lifetime. I didn't want to leave her behind when she had so little time left, especially when she'd been there for me after Jim died."

"Your kindness does you credit." Dream is warmed by the tale, by yet another glimpse of the man Hob had worked to become in the past century.

"Heh." Hob beams at him, and something low in Dream's stomach tightens marginally. "Anyway, Oma Franziska was always sharing recipes with us—sending her traditions forward, she called it—and I've kept 'em alive for her. This gingerbread is based on an older recipe, but she tinkered with it quite a lot and clearly she knew what she was about; these biscuits always get rave reviews." He turns, plucks two of the biscuit cutters from the jumble on the counter and presents them to Dream. "Here you go."

And for 🎓:

Dream shivers, makes that sound again, and leans back further on Hob's desk. His feet move from Hob's knees up to his shoulders, the sharp edges of the chunky heels digging in just a bit despite the thick wool of Hob's waistcoat. His knees fall wide and he scoots his arse that much closer to the edge of the desk, angling his crotch up so Hob can get at it better.

And Hob is not about to waste the opportunity.

He buries his face in Dream's knickers, mouthing at Dream through the lace with a happy little groan, warm breath and warm lips gently teasing his 'student'. "Tell me what you'd like," he murmurs, after running the tip of his tongue along the length of Dream's cock, kissing the head. "Tell me what you want me to do for you?"

He glances up to see Dream biting his lip, eyes half closed as he leans back, immersing himself in the part. "I sometimes open myself up with my favorite toy," he says, hesitantly, "then sit on it and pretend that I am. Speared, in your lap, while I jerk myself off."

"Then let's start with that," Hob breathes, dick twitching in his slacks. "Nice and easy, get you open and relaxed before we do anything else." He kisses Dream's cock through the lace again, one last time, then guides Dream's feet down from his shoulders and takes his hand to pull him upright and back to standing. He slides both hands up under Dream's skirt, hooks them in the waistband of his knickers, meets his eyes as Dream braces himself on Hob's shoulders.

"These will have to come off," he says, half-apologetically; it's a sin to lose them so soon.

But Dream, bless him, bites his ruby-red bottom lip and squeezes Hob's shoulders. "Can I suck you first, Professor?"

Make me write!

[kangen-wanshi]

Recorded Proposals ft. Trey Clover, Leona Kingscholar, Azul Ashengrotto

"I'm glad that that whole mess is done now.. Though I guess it's kind of a shame that I didn't get to actually propose to the bride, huh. I practiced a lot, too..!"

"Oh, don't worry, Prefect! I have all of your practice proposals recorded!"

".. What? Wait, Ortho what do you mean you have it recorded — Ortho- Hey!"

Tags: Separate, proposals and daydream and all the sweet stuff, no gendered pronouns used but reader is mentioned to be wearing make-up and such in Trey's

Trey Clover

"I know that you're no longer alive.. I know that we couldn't enjoy the joy of mortal entertainment and woes, but.. Even after death, I wish to always stay by your side and go through whatever there is ahead and build a bright future with you! So please.. Marry me!"

Trey got the video from Cater. One day the orangette sent him the video through DMs with just a wink emoji and some teasing about his crush on you and he just sort of accepts it with a light blush.

Trey watches that specific part over and over whenever he is about to go to bed (he refuses to watch it anywhere else). Your words stuck to him - whether it is because of the oddly sincere look in your eyes when you speak, or your beautiful attire, or perhaps your styled hair and make-up — He doesn't know why he's so addicted to it.

It became a sort of charm for him to have a good sleep (which sometimes involves having you in his dream). Your words rang and echoed through his mind when Trey finally shut his eyes and cuddled his blanket at night, ready to dream about you after a particularly long day.

Sometimes he likes to daydream that you were saying those words to him, as cringe as it sounds to his opinion. Trey always ended up a blushing mess with a lovesick grin on his face whenever that specific thought came up randomly throughout the day. He always hides himself with a hand over his mouth or his hat being pulled just a little lower. He's blushing? No. The weather probably just got a little warmer..

He's a sucker for anything that involves 'building a future together'. He's a big family man, he wishes to have his own family one day, preferably with you in the picture of course. As his partner. Domesticity is just sort of his thing at this point and he's not even denying it.

Maybe he should come clean to you.. Maybe you managed to spur out these specific words that tug on his heartstrings because you, too, want it for yourself. Perhaps in those silly proposals, you let out a small speck of your desire, which is why it seems so genuine in his eyes..

Either way he still acted normally around you. He would bring up the topic of the video and the proposals every now and then to tease you - without outing himself about the fact that he has a personal copy of it. 

Perhaps he'll invite you to bake more often. Perhaps he'll invite you to various normal 'dates' and activities together. You can study together.. You can watch movies together.. Oh hey look his hand found yours, did he just intertwine your fingers together? You don't mind if he stays there for a while.. Right?

Leona Kingscholar

"I know what other people may say. You and I are.. Different, in every aspect. Yet I couldn't help but be drawn to you. To your beauty, your flaws. The way you love and the way you hate.. All of it..! And I promise you, I'll love you through and through - no matter what people may say. No matter what you'll become. Will you.. Marry me?"

Not sure how he got the video.. Most likely asked Ruggie to get it for him in secret? He made a deal with Azul to get a copy? Who knows. He doesn't really care where he got it from - it's with him now.

Leona watches it in the middle of the night. He likes to snicker and chuckle at your other failed attempts. It's a.. Good pastime. When he feels particularly terrible after a day, he watches your silly acting trying to propose to a dead Princess as a way of entertainment.

He got attached to that specific line of your proposals without even realizing. Whenever he went to watch it, he would usually skip to that part specifically to hear you say those words again and again. Except this time he isn't laughing. Rather he looks quite intense listening to your words.

Why do you have to stare so intently at the camera..? It made the experience a little too realistic to his liking. Now he needs to deal with the hammering noises in his heart, heat that slowly pools on his cheek, and his tail which swish and flick around.. Darn Herbivore you're making his sleep a little more difficult this time and you're not even here with him!

Leona doesn't daydream, but some part of your words does strike a nerve in him. You said you'd love someone despite your differences and their flaws? What a coincidence. You and him have lots of flaws and you're pretty different from each other. Right? He just lets those words keep on repeating over and over in his mind whenever he feels like it.

Actually he listened to your voice so much in his head now that he couldn't handle not hearing your voice. Leona doesn't usually have his phone with him but Ruggie noticed that he's been carrying it with him a lot lately.. Even though Leona still doesn't answer any of his calls or texts. He brought them so he could listen to you when he knew that would have a particularly busy day. He even converted the video to mere audio so he can listen to it.

Leona is also another one who acted mostly normal around you. He doesn't really bring up the event - considering that he failed miserably himself with his proposal attempt, so he doesn't like bringing it up.

But you noticed that his stare has become.. Longer, and that his hold on you linger, followed by his tail which often would cling to you whenever you're within proximity. Hey, what did you mean by you'll love anyone despite your vast differences? Huh? What do you mean those were just fake proposals? Come on answer the question, he's listening. 

Azul Ashengrotto

"I've seen all of you. Your past, and your current self. And I don't doubt that you still have many many sides of you that are hidden from the world. Sides that you love- sides that you hate. I wish to love all of them, all of you - including your future. And.. Well there's no other way than to tie ourselves with love and marriage so that I may achieve this dream of mine.. Right?"

Either he got it from Idia who got it from Ortho, or he straight up asked Ortho, Azul will have his way to watch that video. A determined one, and everyone knows how Azul is when he wants something to be part of his possession. 

At first he keeps telling himself that this is for academic purposes. He failed his own proposal back then despite his careful calculation and thorough planning, he just.. he wants to know how you handle it since you're the charming Prefect of Ramshackle! Of course! You would be a great reference should anything similar like this arise in the future!

Azul clips every part that he deemed important (keeps telling himself that these are bookmarks for the highlight of your proposal but really these are just his favorite parts.) Which includes you giggling at yourself because of how stupid the proposal was, or you being utterly embarrassed because of what you said. He has them in short clips!

Although there is a clip which he finds himself constantly repeating. He found your words to be.. Comforting and flattering. At first he thought that maybe this is his ideal proposal. And then he nodded to himself before continuing his said research. And then he immediately snapped back and realized that Oh Sevens is this his ideal proposal?!

Azul finds the idea that you, perhaps, would be willing to love him no matter the amount of facades he has to put up for his business, to be extremely endearing and beneficial to him. He would have your affection, while he's still able to keep up with his Deals. Why would he hate the idea? If not, it made him want you even more than he already did. (Even though he knew these were probably just you sputtering some romantic nonsense to gain the Princess' heart.. He.. Likes to wish. He just hope he could fulfill this specific wish of his own now..)

Since then he couldn't watch the video seriously anymore. He would be blushing - not to that specific part but to literally every other proposal you practiced (although that has become his favorite).

Azul doesn't daydream. He wants things and he will have them. Including you.

He would become more bold in his advances. He keeps falling in love with you over and over whenever he watches or remembers the video - it's only fair that he should start making you fall for him over and over.

So, Prefect, Azul has this new business idea and it involves you.. Oh don't worry you'll gain plenty of benefit from it! Would you like to at least talk about it or consider it? You would? Brilliant! Meet him in the VIP room he already has everything prepared!.. What do you mean you saw a marriage contract on his table?

[helloalycia]

𝐈 𝐕𝐎𝐋𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐑 [𝐓𝐖𝐎] // 𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐘 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐁𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐃

summary: Reaping Day is finally upon you and you know what you have to do, but there's only one problem: Lucy Gray wouldn't let you.

warning/s: again, the usual warnings that come with writing the Hunger Games stuff + potential suicidal themes.

author's note: this is the second and final part - i do hope you all like it. also i hope the person who requested it enjoys!!

one / masterlist / wattpad

Reaping Day was fast approaching, taking place next week, and I still wasn't sure what to do. I hadn't told Lucy Gray nor the Covey of Mayfair's plan, but it was killing me inside. After a lot of thought, I soon made a decision. The only thing I was certain about was that I couldn't allow Lucy Gray to have her life stolen away, not when mine was right there for the taking. So, I was going to take her place. As long as the Capitol had their tribute, they wouldn't care who it was.

But Lucy Gray would. She'd never allow it, never be so selfish as to let someone else volunteer to die for her. But I could never let her go up there to die, so with that in mind, I concocted the perfect plan to keep her alive.

The night before the reaping arrived, I'd managed to convince Lucy Gray to let me sleep over at hers, claiming I was worried and wanted to feel safe on an otherwise horrible evening. Of course, she fell for it instantly, only reminding me of how right I was to do this. She was too sweet for her own good, especially to me.

The rest of the Covey were in their rooms preparing for bed when I returned from the kitchen to Lucy Gray's room with two glasses of water.

"Here," I said, passing her the glass before taking a seat on my makeshift bed on the floor beside her actual bed.

"Thanks," she said, before taking a sip. She pulled a face and looked at her glass. "Does that taste weird to you?"

I sipped my own water and played dumb, shaking my head. "It's alright to me."

She furrowed her brows, "Huh," before downing the rest of it and putting it next to her bed.

I told myself that slipping some of my dad's crushed sleeping pills in her water was for her own good, that it needed to happen to keep her safe, but a small part of me still felt guilty for tricking her like this. I needed her to sleep in though, to miss the reaping, or at least miss the part where they call her name. After all, she couldn't stop me from volunteering if she wasn't there to witness it happen.

We both laid down in our beds, getting comfortable under our duvets. In the quiet of the evening, I could hear Tam Amber snoring from next door and smiled to myself at the familiarity. It would be the last I'd hear of it, ever.

"I don't have a good feelin' about tomorrow," Lucy Gray said quietly, earning my attention.

"Huh?"

She sounded cautious. "Something is tellin' me Mayfair has something' up her sleeve." I widened my eyes slightly, wondering if she knew what I did, but then she let out a deep, tired sigh and said, "I can't wait for it to be over."

I frowned to myself. "Me too."

She yawned, and I knew I didn't have long before she'd fall asleep, which meant I only had so much time left with her before I'd never speak to her again. That thought alone brought tears to my eyes.

"No matter what happens tomorrow, I'm glad you've been my friend, Lucy Gray," I said honestly.

"Shut up," she said lightheartedly, an echo of a laugh present in her tired voice. "You're already sayin' goodbye and nothin' has happened."

"You never know," I said, glad that it was dark so she couldn't see me, because I wasn't sure I could say all this to her face. "Just listen, okay? I need you to know that I love you and I couldn't have asked for a better person in my life. Thank you for always being there for me. For caring."

"I love you, too," she said between a yawn, "more than you know, darlin'. And I'll tell you again tomorrow mornin', when we're still together. Idiot."

A smile formed on my lips at her teasing, but the tears slipped from my eyes because I was going to miss her so much, so much more than she would ever know.

"Y/N?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you, too, for bein' here right now," she said, though she was already slipping away, voice slowing down between each word.

"Of course," I said quietly. "Always."

She chuckled, or an attempt at a chuckle in her exhausted state. "I'll hold you to that," she said jokingly, before yawning again. "Mmm super tired. G'night..."

"Goodnight, Lucy Gray."

When I woke up to the sun shining in my eyes the next morning, I looked over at Lucy Gray and saw her fast asleep in bed. I tried to wake her, but she didn't budge, and I prayed that it would stay that away until the reaping was over.

Quickly getting ready, I could hear the others doing the same in the house. And then a succession of knocks was heard on Lucy Gray's door and Barb Azure poked her head in.

"Y/N, Lucy Gray, we've gotta–" she started, but stopped when she saw Lucy Gray still in bed. "For goodness sake, Lucy Gray, we're gonna be late! You've got–"

"I'll get her up and out of here, don't worry," I reassured Barb Azure with a nod and smile. "We'll meet you in the square."

Relieved, she nodded. "Okay, good. Good luck."

I smiled appreciatively before watching her leave, and then my smile faded and I focused on finishing getting ready. After pulling on my shoes and tying up my hair, I looked over at Lucy Gray who was still out like a light, unbothered by the noise or the daylight. She was lying on her side, duvet half covering her, and her curly hair sprawled across her pillow and in her eyes. I leaned down, moving the loose strand behind her ear, before taking in her appearance once more.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to her, not that it would have made a difference. "I love you, Lucy Gray, and I know you're gonna be angry and upset at first, but you'll get over it. You'll get over me. The Covey, they– they need you."

Swallowing hard and holding back my tears, sick of crying, I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead before standing up and sucking up a deep breath. Pulling the duvet on her a little more, I forced myself to turn and leave, not wanting to linger any longer.

By the time I reached the square, everyone eligible for the reaping was already lined up in order of age. Just as I was about to join them, Barb Azure, who was nineteen and no longer to be considered, caught my gaze and sent me a questioning look.

'She's there', I mouthed, lying, and pointing to the lined up teens.

She didn't seem to understand, but it didn't matter because a Peacekeeper was already yelling orders at me, and then I was shoved into line and the mayor was telling everybody to quieten down. After his usual spiel about the importance of the Games, no doubt a script given to him from the Capitol, he began to dig his hand into a bag of slips with everyone's names on it. Yanking it out, he barely glanced at it before announcing what I feared.

"The District Twelve girl tribute is Lucy Gray Baird."

Murmurs flew around instantly, everyone looking around to find her, and I thanked my stars that she was safely asleep back home.

"Lucy Gray Baird," the mayor repeated, only intensifying the murmurs and leaving everyone confused. That was my chance.

Raising my hand, I said in the most confident voice I could muster, "I volunteer as tribute!"

Nobody knew what to do, but all eyes were on me, including the stupid cameras the Capitol brought with them, televising the whole thing. The mayor seemed surprised because it was absolute insanity that somebody would volunteer – why would you want to die?

The Peacekeepers took a moment to jump into action, eventually guiding me to the stage as they were supposed to. I passed Billy Taupe on the way, who was looking awfully guilty for someone who was once family to the Covey, and then I passed Mayfair, who was silently raging at the sight of her plans falling to pieces.

Once I stepped onstage and turned around, I caught sight of the Covey scattered in the crowd, between those that were potential tributes and those that were too old/young to take part. They seemed shocked, but I found Barb Azure's eyes and smiled a little, offering a reassuring nod. I hoped she would understand.

Lastly, my eyes found my father's, a struggle at first, considering he was tucked away at the back, forced to be present but not wanting to be. He seemed surprised at my volunteering and, for a split second, I thought he cared. But his actions remain still and I know it was probably just good riddance for him, nothing more.

I didn't expect anything less.

Only when I was on the train, being carted away to my death with the other twenty-three tributes, did I feel complete and utter relief for Lucy Gray. She was truly safe, free from the Games for another year at least, which was more than I could ask for. And maybe Mayfair would get over her vendetta by then, who knew?

Of course, now that the relief had settled in, it didn't take long for it to be replaced by concern because now I was in the Games. And I had no plan, no strategy, nothing.

After the Games...

I wasn't sure how I managed it, but I'd won. I'd really done the impossible, and barely a week later, I found myself on a train back to District Twelve with a little money and a broken arm, but otherwise alive.

Even though I'd expected to die, winning never really being an option, my survival instincts kept kicking in and I just kept getting lucky. And now here I was.

I could never forget what I'd witnessed during the Games, ever, and I wasn't sure if it was worth winning if it meant I would be haunted by all I'd experienced. But I couldn't argue with it because I was finally returning home and I didn't know what to think. It had only been a week, but I'd left a girl and was returning a murderer.

After the train pulled into the station, I was on my own and didn't even think about where my feet were taking me until I found myself walking through the Seam, back to my house. I was relieved to find my dad was at work, not in the mood to face him after all this time. I wasn't sure if anybody even knew I was alive, that I'd won, considering nobody here even had a working TV.

After all I'd endured in the Games, my father was the least of my worries. I refused to be pushed around by him anymore and knew I was going to leave as soon as I could. Even if it meant camping outside, living on the streets, I'd go. I'd figure something out, but for now, I was just lucky to be able to see my bedroom again.

As I sat on my lumpy bed and breathed a sigh of relief, I thought of the Covey, and then of Lucy Gray. Oh, how I'd missed her dearly. She was the only thought I'd had this past week, all of this being for her in the first place. I was just glad she hadn't had to endure everything I had. The guilt and shame of my actions to bring me where I was now was eating away at me, but I would have rather it been me than her.

I missed her, so so much. And I knew I couldn't wait any longer, so I immediately got up and headed straight for their house. It wasn't far from my own, though there's was much closer to the woods. When I approached, I saw Maude Ivory and Tam Amber sat outside, the former milking her goat and the latter planting some flowers. It was Maude Ivory who did a double take first, before she shouted my name and immediately ran up to me, startling me with an intense hug.

It had felt like forever since I'd had any human affection, and I couldn't help but return her hug with a relieved smile, missing her.

"I can't believe you're back!" she was saying, as the others soon began to join one by one, hugging me tightly.

"You really won!"

"We saw you on the TV one night, we were so scared."

"Thank you for volunteerin', you saved our Lucy Gray's life."

I could barely keep up with their compliments, unsure how to respond, but touched that they cared enough to be here.

And then I saw Lucy Gray, finally, as she walked out from the back door of the house, mouth agape when she noticed me. My eyebrows raised a little, hopeful, upon seeing her again. It hadn't been long, and yet it had felt like forever since I'd last seen her.

Barb Azure began to motion to the others to follow her back inside. "Let's give them some space, everyone."

They began to leave, doing just that, and without their presence, I suddenly felt exposed before Lucy Gray. I straightened up, trying to look a little more presentable, but acutely self conscious of my black eye, scarred lip and broken arm.

"Hey," I said, embarassed at how quiet it came out.

She stopped before me, watching me like I was a ghost. "You're really here."

I nodded slowly. "Yeah. I didn't think I would be, but somehow, I won."

But it wasn't somehow, was it? I knew what I did to win.

She suddenly frowned, looking betrayed. "You drugged me."

Realising she was upset, I said, "It was only a sleeping pill."

Her stare hardened. "You knew. You knew it was going to be my name."

I cowered away slightly, saying, "I overheard–"

"You lied to me," she cut me off, "drugged me, volunteered like a fool and–"

"It couldn't be you," I told her sternly. "You're needed here. They need you and I couldn't let you be chosen because of some silly feud, not when I found out. It had to be me. Nobody would miss me and–"

"I would!" she shouted, and I realised her eyes were full of tears as she glared at me. "You asshole, I would! I did! I needed you! You don't get to trick me and make that choice for me and just leave!"

I felt horribly guilty as she spoke, but deep down, I didn't regret my actions.

"Lucy Gray, you would've gotten over me," I said calmly, looking between her eyes. "You would've."

She narrowed her eyes with a glare. "Fuck you."

"Lucy–"

"No, fuck you!" she yelled, shoving me backwards. "You don't get to say that! Like you know how I feel about you!"

I pressed my lips together, feeling my heart ache as tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Fuck you," she murmured, before turning around and storming away, past the house and towards the meadow.

I frowned, watching her leave and feeling immense guilt pressing on my chest. I'd never seen her so upset, not in all the time I'd known her, and knowing I was the reason for it only made this whole thing worse.

Barb Azure left the house and approached me with an apologetic frown on her lips.

"I heard what happened," she said sympathetically. "Sorry."

I shook my head. "I didn't mean to upset her."

"We're all grateful for what you did," she said. "She is, too. A small part. But mostly, she's upset because she grieved you. Tried to, at least. She thought you were dead."

"I was supposed to be, if it helps," I mumbled. "I didn't think I'd be coming back here, facing her like this."

It was supposed to be a faceless goodbye. She wasn't supposed to see me again, nor I her. Now, I'd only made things worse.

"She missed you so much," Barb Azure told me knowingly. "She's angry and stubborn, but she missed you, Y/N. Go to her."

I looked up, seeing the encouraging smile on her lips, and figured if anyone knew Lucy Gray more than she did, it was her family. So, with that slight positivity in mind, I followed in the direction of Lucy Gray with hope to fix this. It didn't take long for me to find her in the meadow, sat by her favourite tree and hunched over, crying into her hands.

I tried to approach quietly, but she noticed and suddenly stood up, turning around to glare at me through her tears.

"What do you want? Go away!" she ordered.

I ignored her, taking a step forward, and she only yelled at me more.

"I said go away! I don't wanna speak to you right now!"

Again, I ignored her and continued to approach her.

"Leave me alone, you asshole! I said leave!"

I hugged her before she could protest even more, my good arm tightening around her shoulders desperately, and then she finally stopped shouting and hugged me back just as tightly. I squeezed my eyes shut, tears threatening to spill because I never thought I'd see her again, let alone hug her like my life depended on it.

"I'm sorry," I said into her shoulder. "I'm sorry a million times over, Lucy Gray. I never wanted to hurt you, but I don't regret what I did. I'd volunteer every single time."

She gripped my shirt in response, but didn't say anything. I swallowed hard before pulling away reluctantly, meeting her eyes with regret.

"I'm a fool, I know," I agreed with her words from before. "I'm sorry."

Her lip quivered as her eyes darted around my face, taking it in, fixating on the bruise and my scarred lip. She lifted her hand, touching my cheek tenderly, and my breath was caught in my throat at the attention.

"It weren't supposed to be you," she whispered with a broken voice.

"Nor you," I reminded her. "Mayfair cheated."

She shook her head, frowning and meeting my eyes. "You promised you wouldn't get involved, Y/N."

I exhaled through my nose, a sad smile on my lips. "I couldn't help it."

She didn't say anything, simply stared at me, and then she took a seat on the log next to the tree and I joined her, unsure what to do or say.

"I can't believe you're here," she admitted. "I thought I'd never see you again." Her eyes flickered between mine thoughtfully, before lowering to my broken arm in a sling. "How did it happen?"

I looked down at it, hesitating.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have asked," she said quickly, regretfully, but I shook my head.

"No, it's–" I paused, frowning shamefully. "It's how I won."

She grabbed my hand suddenly, making me look up at her.

"You don't have to tell me," she reassured with a nod.

I looked down at her hand on mine, nerves creeping in. "You wanna know, but... you won't look at me the same. And I don't want to lose you."

"Whatever you did in that arena isn't a reflection of who you are," she said with such a determination that I almost believed her. "It was life or death. And if it meant you're here now, alive, then I don't care."

I closed my eyes, nodding. "You're right. I– you're right."

She was patient, to my relief, and it took a moment for me to find my words.

"I'd spent most of the Games hiding," I began to tell her, comforted by the warmth of her hand in mine. "I avoided confrontation where I could, but one kid, he– he cornered me and had a knife. Managed to cut my lip... I disarmed him and ran with it. Used it to defend myself, injuring whoever got in my way, but never killing. I couldn't– I couldn't do that..."

...I was running, one of the others having found me in the tunnels and chasing me out into the open where they could no doubt kill me with ease. My lungs were screaming for air, burning with each step I took, but I kept pushing myself until I was in the stands. The other tribute followed me though, carrying a spear and swinging it my way.

I avoided each swing, knife in hand but myself unable to do anything with it, not without getting in close. And then they swung again, making me dodge, and slammed the blunt end of their spear into my back, pushing me over the edge of the stands and to the ground below with a loud crack. I would have a screamed at the unbearable pain from my arm, but I'd slammed my head onto the ground, leaving me dazed.

My vision was spinning and my arm was throbbing and I didn't know what was what, but then I heard someone's feet land behind me and I knew I had to play dead, my last chance at surviving. Through one open eye, I could see footsteps approaching, but also the glint of my knife which had dropped beside me during the fall. I stayed still, practically holding my breath as the other tribute leaned down to check if I was alive. And before they could try to turn me over, I grabbed the knife and stabbed the first thing I could touch.

Only when I heard the sounds of gurgling did I look to see what I'd done. My knife was lodged into their neck, their pleading eyes begging mine as I scrambled back out of fear, watching them die a slow and painful death without meaning to. I was certain I could never un-hear those noises, or un-see their death...

Tears wet my face when I finished telling Lucy Gray the story, and I was trembling slightly as the memories flashed in my head.

"I didn't want to," I told her, shaking my head guiltily. "I didn't. But it was the only way. The only way to be done. I– I'm not a murderer. I'm not. I'm–"

She pulled me in for a hug, rubbing soothing circles on my back. "It's okay. It's okay, Y/N."

I cried into her shoulder, but it didn't make me feel any better. I'd murdered someone, and now I'd live with the reminder forever.

"You did what you had to do," she tried to console me, but I knew it wasn't entirely true.

It wasn't over, not really. I'd see their faces everywhere, forever.

"I wish you didn't have to do that," she said after a moment, pulling away but holding my hand between hers. "And I haven't said it yet, but thank you for taking my place, even though I didn't want you to. You saved my life. I just wish it wasn't at the expense of your own."

She kissed my cheek before hugging me again, sighing contently.

"By the way, if you ever try to tell me how I feel, I'll kill you myself," she muttered into my shoulder. "I'm not losing you, ever."

I stayed quiet, wrapping my arm around her instead. I knew I'd do this all again if it meant she was safe. But she wouldn't understand.

By the time word spread about my 'triumph' in the Games and return to District Twelve, I'd already moved out of my dad's place. He barely uttered a word to me, neither did he try stopping me. I wasn't sure if it was because he knew what I was capable of, or if he'd just been waiting for me to leave, but it was easier than I'd imagined.

My only choices were being homeless, moving into the community home full of kids with no parents or staying with the Covey. Naturally, it was easy to choose the latter, especially when Lucy Gray insisted I stayed with them.

It was easy at first, easier than I expected, to make myself at home and try to continue my life as it once was before the Games. I went back to work as soon as possible, even with one arm broken, did as many shifts as I could before the summer ended and I'd be back at school with less time to make money and afford food. I accompanied the Covey to the Hob, helping them prepare for their sets and encouraging people to donate money for their performances. It was almost normal.

But at night, that was when I couldn't seem to escape the true reality of what I'd been through. I'd fall asleep, no problem, and then my nightmares would feature different versions of the Games, bloody kills of the other tributes, the knot of fear in my chest expanding until I woke up in cold sweats and with wet eyes.

I couldn't tell anybody, especially not the Covey or Lucy Gray. I couldn't be a burden to them, not after all they'd done for me, but it was getting unbearable. The faces, they wouldn't stop haunting me. And the scar on my lip that wasn't fading only seemed to serve as a permanent reminder, frightening me because maybe I would never escape it. Maybe I'd suffer forever, a consequence of winning.

It happened again, tonight, and I woke with a start, eyes shooting open and mistaking the shadow on the ceiling for a predator in the dark. It took me a moment to remember where I was, what was real. Lucy Gray's bedroom. I was in the bed they'd set up for me, opposite hers, and the curtains were drawn, casting a ghastly blue glow around the room.

Wiping my eyes, I moved my legs over the side of the bed and glanced over at Lucy Gray, who was sound asleep. I was careful not to wake her as I slipped into some shoes and left the room, practicing the same caution as I left the house completely and sat outside on the garden furniture. The fresh air did much better to wake me up, reminding me where I was, and I simply sat there under the dark sky, trying to collect myself.

It was always the same. Some nights were worse than others, like tonight, where I'd be forced to step outside for some fresh. Other nights I could just brush it off and force myself to sleep. Would it ever get better?

I wasn't sure how long passed, but I heard the back door of the house opening and turned around, ready to apologise to whoever I'd woken. To my surprise, it was Lucy Gray.

"I didn't mean to wake you up," I said quickly, straightening up. "I can go back in. I–"

"Stop," she said softly, before taking a seat on the chair next to me, eyes never leaving mine.

I swallowed thickly, unable to hold her stare.

"I've tried to give you space," she said, the fatigue laced in her voice. "Since you've been here. I've seen you leave in the middle of the night... I'm worried, Y/N. Talk to me. Please."

Embarrassed I'd been caught out, I tried to reassure her. "I'm fine. It's nothing."

She scoffed quietly. "Are we not close enough that you shouldn't lie to me?"

I glanced at her, sighing when I saw the worry looking back at me.

"It's the Games, isn't it?" she asked carefully. "You're dreamin' of them."

I didn't trust my voice, so I could only nod weakly. She tensed her jaw slightly before moving her chair closer to me and pulling me in for a side hug. Leaning her head on my shoulder, she squeezed comfortingly, and I melted under her touch.

"Wake me when it happens," she encouraged. "It's not nice bein' alone when you've just had a nightmare."

"I'm not doing that," I started, a million reasons on the tip of my tongue for why I wouldn't subject her to that, but she cut me off pleadingly.

"Please. It'll make me feel better, knowin' I can at least be with you. Knowin' you're not alone. That I can help."

I didn't reply, unsure I could agree when I knew I just couldn't do it.

"I'm gonna push the beds together if you don't," she added, lightheartedly but with a touch of concern still present.

Nonetheless, it brought a smile to my lips and I exhaled sharply through my nose, a sad attempt at a laugh. "Okay."

She squeezed my shoulder in response and then straightened up, offering me a tired smile. "Come on."

"What?"

"You're not goin' back to sleep, clearly, so let's go," she insisted, grabbing my hand and pulling me up.

"Go where?" I asked, though let her lead me out of the garden.

"The lake, duh."

I didn't fight it and let her tug me along, walking down to the lake. It was quiet out, especially between us, and the mindless task of walking through the woods with her hand in mine gave me something else to focus on other than my nightmares.

When we reached the lake, we took a seat at the edge of the dock again, just like last time.

"No midnight swims, please," I warned her playfully, and she laughed quietly.

"I promise," she muttered, before looking out at the water.

My eyes took in her profile for a moment, following the slope of her nose, the point of her cupid's bow, the curve of her lips... even in the dark, with only a minuscule of moonlight casting shadows across her face, she was stunning. I wondered if she knew the effect she could have on me just by being here.

"Thank you," I said, unable to keep my gratitude in for much longer. "For everything."

She rolled her eyes playfully, continuing to look ahead. "Oh, shut up."

I furrowed my brows. "Huh?"

She gave me a disapproving glance. "After all that's happened, you don't need to thank me."

"I do," I said simply, and she rolled her eyes again.

"Seriously, shut up before I make you."

Knowing I wouldn't win this one, I exhaled softly and looked away, eyes subconsciously tracing the shimmers of light in the still water.

"Why did you do it?" Lucy Gray suddenly asked, playfulness gone.

"What?"

She paused. I wasn't sure she'd continue, and then she said, "Volunteer." I opened my mouth to answer, but she cut me off, adding, "And don't say it's because nobody would miss you. You knew that I would have. So, why?"

I pressed my lips together firmly, suddenly feeling warm. It was such an easy question, with an even easier answer. But I couldn't bring myself to say it for the same reason I'd never told her. I was a coward. But didn't she deserve to know the truth? Didn't I deserve to finally come clean? To lift this weight from my shoulders?

My heart was thumping ever so loudly for the girl next to me. I'd faced life or death situations, surely I could do this.

"Y/N?" she prompted, glancing at me.

I licked my lips, gaze focused on the darkness ahead. "I'm in love with you."

The silence was deafening, unlike before when it was welcomed. Not even a gasp or a slight movement from beside me betrayed her reaction, her surprise. I was too paralysed with fear of rejection to look at her. Instead, I stayed put, certain I'd be stuck there in that moment forever, never hearing a response. But then finally:

"I thought that was it. I just had to hear you say it."

My jaw tensed as I digested her words, eyes still fixated on the water. She knew? This whole time, she knew?

"I love you too," she murmured, and in my peripheral, I could see her staring ahead also. "That's why I hated that you did it."

Unable to act cowardly any longer, I forced myself to look to her. She did the same, knocking the breath from me when her dark eyes met mine. It was horribly intimidating, even though she was doing nothing different. Except now she knew. She finally knew. And I knew that she knew. And that was different enough to terrify me.

"Never again," she muttered. "You have to promise me and actually keep it."

And just like that, I was reminded why I'd volunteered in the first place. Coward or not, it was only ever for her.

"I can't," I admitted.

She scrunched her face with hurt. "And why not?"

I grimaced. "I just told you why."

A frown appeared on her lips, jaw clenching in annoyance. Her eyes flickered between mine defiantly, and I knew I was upsetting her again.

"I'm sorry," I said, tilting my head.

"I hate you," she said lowly.

I shook my head, holding her intense gaze. "Not according to what you just said."

Her lips curled inwards, frustrated, and after one last glance, she leaned forward and kissed me hard. My eyes fluttered close as she caressed my cheek, holding me close. I slipped my uninjured arm around her waist, revelling in her warmth and the softness of her lips. It was the best kiss I'd ever had. The only kiss, yes, but one I'd never want to compete with.

When we pulled apart, her hand was still on my cheek, and mine still on her waist, and I worried that if I opened my eyes, something would go wrong. That this would all be a dream.

"You should've told me sooner," she murmured, lips ghosting mine.

I reluctantly opened my eyes, instantly submerged in hers. "Not everyone can speak their mind as confidently as you can, Lucy Gray."

She licked her lips, drawing my gaze to them yet again. "I can't always. Clearly."

I looked down, shaking my head slightly. "I couldn't."

Her thumb stroked my cheek tenderly. "Not even after? When you came home?"

It was hilarious, how easy she made it all sound. I raised an eyebrow at her, trying not to smile. "You don't know how you make me feel, do you?" Her expression softened, and I continued, "Imagine standing on the edge of a cliff. Then jumping off."

"Scared?" she asked, growing worried, but I shook my head.

"Free," I corrected, growing warm at my honesty, it coming way too easily for once. "And that in itself is scary, isn't it? But scary in a good way. I– I've never felt like that before."

She exhaled softly, a small smile tugging at her lips. "You're not so bad at speaking your mind, it seems."

I breathed out through my nose, mirroring her smile. Her thumb outlined my lips lightly, tracing my scar, and then resting on my cheek again. She was thoughtful, eyes staring at my face, but distant.

"That feeling you described," she started, voice smooth and comforting, "it goes both ways."

I wondered how it could. I'd never imagined myself giving her a similar comfort, nor her feeling so strongly about me as I did with her. But then she kissed me again, and I didn't need to think about it anymore.

[zbengui]

I've grown to love Singed as a character after watching act 2, which I should've seen coming considering my proclivity for mad scientist archetypes. He stood out to me in the first season too but there wasn't quite enough for me to sink my teeth into back then, so I'm glad they've decided to reveal more details regarding his lore now even if it still remains rather vague. That's actually one of the aspects that I like about him, it's fascinating how much he influences the overall plot even though his character receives almost no focus. He is constantly instigating chaos and causing so much tragedy for the main characters, and yet he is never confronted. I was actually just thinking about how it's a little funny that Jayce is getting blamed for what happened to Vander, even though Singed was the one who injected him with that serum. He brought Vander back to life and offered Jinx and Vi the chance to rebuild their family, only to immediately and brutally take it away.

That's kind of his entire thing. He brings the dead back to life against their will and they come out of it deeply and irreversibly changed (Vander, Jinx, possibly Viktor...?). He keeps his subjects breathing even if being alive is nothing but torture for them (Rio), not necessarily out of sadistic pleasure but in service to his ultimate ambition. For progress, evolution. It is then revealed that the motive behind all of his horrendous experiments is to bring his daughter back to life. It's all because of love, as he admits. I don't know a whole lot about the lore behind this, but I have to wonder how Orianna herself feels about this. Is she in pain, just like her father's other subjects? Is she grateful or resentful for what he is doing to her? Did she have any say in this?

One thing I like about his scientific methods is that he is willing to put his own body on the line and experiment on himself, like when he pumped his blood into WarWick. It definitely goes to show how... passionate he is. I also appreciate that he doesn't let any specimens go to waste. He even preserved the decapitated head of that guy he tested Shimmer on back in S1:

I'm sure most people would agree that Singed has a very impactful screen presence. Almost every single line he says is relevant for the overarching themes of the story. It feels like he's always dominating the scene, even when he was being held prisoner because he knew that his captors would immensely benefit from having him on their side and that Ambessa, the opportunist that she is, was going to ask him to join her as an advisor sooner or later. It's horrifying to imagine the biochemical warfare he is going to unleash while working with the Noxian army. He's going to invent new war crimes.

I also wanted to mention how relevant he is for Caitlyn's character arc in this season because most people seem to be overlooking it. I may have my personal gripes with her character progression in act 2, but her interactions with Singed in episode 5 were excellent. Singed isn't just a "crazed Zaunite", he is actually a Piltovan alchemist that is using the people of Zaun as lab rats for the sake of a deceased family member. Caitlyn realises that she will end up like him if she continues walking down the path she is currently on. That realisation, I think, is what informs her decisions later on.

I find his relationship with Viktor very fascinating too but that dynamic deserves an entirely separate post. They are both scientists with similar interests but very different philosophies and work ethics (or lack thereof). As I've briefly mentioned already, I believe Singed is going to bring Viktor back to life, robbing him of his autonomy once again in the process.

That is to say, I'm very invested in this weird old man and I'm excited to dive into his League lore after this season is over and find out what other atrocities he has commited.

[themoodyestj]

so i made my point right?

Jensen loves his wife, he clearly does. then why should your opinion on his marriage matter? he loves her, whether you like it or not. he said so, shouldn't that be enough? if you really cared for him you would take his word, you would be happy for him, glad that he has such an awesome life, glad that he found love. even if you aren't a fan of his wife, it doesn't even matter your reasons whether they're legit or just a bunch of bs. he loves her, and you have no say in his life. why can't you just love Jensen as he is? it beats me. you critizice Danneel for "putting him down" but you are the one who doesn't think he's good enough as an actor or as a singer, or even as a person. you rather view him as a coward who cares more about appearances than his own children. why the heck would you stan someone like that?

Ok, Anon, let me see if I can make myself clear. You have been very respectful in your asks, and I will exercise the same respect. I really do hope, though, that you read my words thoroughly and try to understand where I come from. Because, in a way, I do understand where you come from. So, bit by bit, shall we?

so i made my point right? Jensen loves his wife, he clearly does. What was your point exactly? That Jensen did a lot to keep that marriage alive? I never doubted it. Now, does that mean that I consider that marriage to still be alive? The answer is no, for a number of reasons you can find beautifully worded in my and my mutuals blogs. Nor I see it that clearly. I see him very uncomfortable around her, actually. But again, let me make this very clear: My criticism has nothing to do with Jensen being married to her. She could be the love of his life, and I would still criticize her. Now, I would argue that your faving her has *everything* to do with them being married. then why should your opinion on his marriage matter? he loves her, whether you like it or not. he said so, shouldn't that be enough? Well, it matters to me. It matters to the people who read me and follow me. Why does my opinion matter to you? Like I said, I'm a very tiny blog, which you can easily block. I don't interact with AAs unless provoked. I stick to my lane. Plus, he actually said a lot of things. And shown a lot of things. You have your own interpretation, I have mine. But again, my criticism is not supported on the fact that Jensen loves her or not. if you really cared for him you would take his word, you would be happy for him, glad that he has such an awesome life, glad that he found love. even if you aren't a fan of his wife, it doesn't even matter your reasons whether they're legit or just a bunch of bs. he loves her, and you have no say in his life. I don't assume I have a say in his life. But I have a say in my own opinion. And mind you, I have never interacted directly with any of them (unlike some of you do), or forced my opinion on anyone. I keep my opinion in the confinements of my very little blog. It was the AAs idea to publicize it. I'm easy to ignore. I didn't even care about much about Jenna until she started posting pictures of my posts. why can't you just love Jensen as he is? it beats me. you critizice Danneel for "putting him down" but you are the one who doesn't think he's good enough as an actor or as a singer, or even as a person. Ok, first of all, I don't love him, that's creepy. I love my family, my friends, people I share my privacy with. I don't love celebrities. I don't know him personally. I know his career, and while I enjoy his work, I also have a critical mind over the product he offers and that I watch. I'm a consumer. I'm a fan, not a fanatic. Upsetting how most people don't understand the difference. And all the criticism I have offered was in the hopes of seeing him do better. Wishing someone to grow is not the same as putting them down. Again, upsetting how some people don't understand the difference. you rather view him as a coward who cares more about appearances than his own children. why the heck would you stan someone like that? Yeah, that is your interpretation, only. I never said that. And even if I did, it wouldn't say it in a derogatory way. There are tons of reasons why people do things, and to say they are cowards for it is a very simplistic (and honestly ignorant) way to put things. Trust me, considering my line of work, I would never say that. Those were your words, not mine. In conclusion, and it's important that you understand this, this is my blog. I will write about what I want to write. Again, my criticism is based mostly on the fact of people taking a role model that shouldn't be taken, just because of their marital status. My criticism is also to the people who come to my blog telling me what I should and should not write about, so a bit about you, yeah. Not everyone in this world will think like you, and that's life. You are entitled to your opinion (hence me posting this ask) and I'm entitled to mine. And that's not going to change. No matter how much it pains Jenna, or you, or your buddies.

[scissorears-if]

I feel really shallow for asking this, but how is the MC in terms of looks? Are they considered attractive? Average? Plain? Or is it going to be customizable (as much as it seems pointless to add such a feature on a small game, it also serves as practice with Twine, so I don't know if you'll think about including it)?

I ask for two reasons:

1. I was wondering if MC's appearance, within the possible reasons MC is not bullied while O is, may be the cause for the difference in treatment. They are still an outcast, regardless. But a conventionally attractive outcast, an intimidating one or a plain one are quite different in the way they are seen. Maybe MC could be attractive, yet uncanny in some sort of way.

2. I have the flaw of imagining and wanting my MCs to be attractive. And it would make sense given how O has not communicated their crush. Of course I don't know O's personality yet, so it may be not out of insecurity (at least when it comes to looks), but rather about maintaining the friendship alive without risking it for a romance. Or maybe there is another motivation entirely.

I think it could be interesting, however, if the appearance reception was customizable. Doesn't Press Play have something like that? You can be either ethereal or down to earth. Maybe here it could be something a bit more expansive. In the sense that maybe MC could have an ethereal beauty, down to earth beauty, or be plain and forgettable, or have an intimidating aura, or just be so uncanny most people don't like to look at them.

Then again, that's a lot of work for a small IF. And I understand if you go with a more fixed MC instead (which is the natural thing to do). Although, my doubt stands.

Regardless, I'm quite intrigued and excited by this project. I haven't read much horror from you except for SHC (I'll miss Flo forever), but I did like the horror sections of that IF. And I like horror, so I'll always welcome another horror story.

Anyhow, have a nice day! And good luck with Twine. I have tried to write my own IF there and the coding can be a bit (a lot) of a headache. But I believe in you! I'm sure you can do it! And Twine has its advantages compared to choicescript, of many sorts.

Hey nonnie! Oh I love long asks! Thank you kindly for your encouragement, I'm very glad someone still likes me as a horror writer too :D

I will someday use Flo in another IF, of this I'm fairly certain. He means a lot to me, given he was my first openly autistic character and many other reasons.

As for your question: Yes, the Scissor Ears MC is, in fact, attractive. It's a case quite similar to a certain version of the Press Play MC, where the character looks beautiful and fascinating in a strange, unusual way. The Press Play MC can look ethereal, and so does Scissor Ears, but they are also perceived as slightly creepy and intimidating by their peers. They have very peculiar eyes that often make people very squeamish to look into. People can't really get a read on them, and they can seem a tad threatening, which is why bullies prefer to leave them alone. Even though there is, of course, lots of mean-spirited gossip going around about them.

O doesn't communicate their crush for both of the reasons you mentioned. Scissor Ears MC is very much out of their league, looks-wise, although that feels very mean to say. But O is also very insecure and afraid. Who wouldn't be, if they got mistreated by their peers everyday. :(

[jillsandwhichs]

Our Future Days

Joel Miller x Reader series, Chapter 10, Convincing

Masterlist

Pairing: F!Reader x Joel Miller

Summary: Joel lets you stay at his house for the night. The next morning, he convinces Maria to let you have a place in Jackson

WC: 4.2k

Type: SFW

A/n: Hi! Hope you all enjoy. Please check out my masterlist, there's a lot of stuff there. You can get to know me, you can see the rules of my blog and then you can see all of my fanfictions. You'll be able to find the previous chapters to this fic and upcoming ones. You'll also be able to find my Wattpad & AO3. Comments, reblogs & likes are appreciated. Thank you

Entering back into Joel's home, you removed your jacket and he took it from you, hanging it up on the post in the hallway. His house felt warm, as if it were heated and still standing as though this outbreak never happened. It's very impressive how the people of Jackson have come together and worked their asses off to make this place feel like a real and progressive town-which it basically is.

It's much later in the day now. You and Joel grabbed a bite together and walked around the town, simply discussing life and how crazy it's been for the two of you. It felt really good. You got so much off of your chest and you could tell he did as well. Joel was never one to open up according to Tommy but here he is, doing just that with you. You have a feeling it's because of Ellie. That young girl really must've done a number on him and you're grateful for that.

Joel turned around as the two of you entered his kitchen, he was now facing you and leaning against the counter. You took a seat at one of the chairs aligned with the counter. "Would you like some tea? I got some through a trade the other day." "Sure, sounds nice, thank you." Joel gave you a nod and began to prepare a cup for you and for him. As he did that, you decided to ask him a question you've been (In all honesty) avoiding.

"Can I ask you something possibly sensitive?" Joel didn't reply immediately but breathed in deeply and nodded. "Ask me anything darlin'." Goodness it felt good to hear him call you such a name. It felt heart warming. "You don't have to answer, it's just that I've been analyzing the way you talk of her and I'm curious... Do you see Sarah in Ellie? Is that why you've grown to be so attached to the kid?" You hope your question isn't too far.

You watched as Joel set two tea bags in the hot mugs and chuckled. He didn't find your question to be insensitive but rather inquisitive. "I do, admittedly. They both have that hipster side to them along with their similar humor and love for certain things-like dinosaurs and being active. Warms my heart knowin' that Sarah and Ellie woulda been close friends." That warms your heart up too.

You gave him a sincere smile and nodded, completely understanding where he is coming from. "That's a really positive way of looking at it. I'm glad you met Ellie, she seems like a catch from what you've been telling me." "She sure is, she's funny and has a lotta spunk to her. Scares me sometimes knowing that as she gets older, she'll be a sassy one." You laughed. "Oh, I bet. All girls go through their sassy, edgy phase. I sure did and so did my sister Hannah."

Thinking about Hannah upsets you. You can't believe you just randomly brought her up. You miss her so much. Where could she possibly be? If you have to think realistically, she's dead and she has been for a long time. You haven't heard anything about her and it's worrisome. At the same time though, she could be alive. Maybe she escaped and found a group or has lived on her own just as you have. There are many possibilities as to where she could be and that gives you hope, even if it isn't a lot of it.

Joel tilted his head at you and had slightly pouted lips. "What's on your mind?" Joel questioned you and dipped the tea bags around in the cups. You sighed softly and said it plainly. "I just hate talking about my sister, that's all. I miss her, my parents too." Joel nodded. Oh, he very much understands. Loss ought to be his middle name. "Trust me, I understand. Not havin' Sarah around and thinkin' about those I've lost kills me on the inside. It's just best to try and not think too much 'bout it." He's right.

The sound of thunder was heard throughout the house and you quickly looked out the window. It must've started raining only seconds ago because it wasn't whilst you and Joel were out. Rain in November isn't that common, especially somewhere such as Wyoming. Joel breathed in deeply and blew out quietly. "Rain. That's good for us." He stated with a hushed down as he glanced back down at the mugs with lemon flavored tea inside of them.

"Tea is almost done, if you want, we can drink it out in the livin' room." "Fine by me." You stood up and grabbed the mug he got out for you. His had an owl engraved into it, it appeared homemade and it actually looked good. You followed behind him and sat down beside him on the cozy, comfy couch. You gazed out the window in front of you. It's dark outside, but some of the houses and establishments light up the roads that are visible in the view. It's also evident that stars are out considering you are able to see a few just from where you are sitting.

Joel grunted as he kicked his boots off and sipped his citrusy tea. You did the same and you were surprised by the fresh and vibrant taste of the drink. It tastes as though it came out of a brand new package. It's delicious. Joel glanced at you and smiled. You noticed and a faint blush was caught on your cheeks but you tried your best to play it off as if you hadn't noticed, despite you clearly noticing. "Shit, sorry." Joel snickered and looked down, focusing on his tea. You giggled. "Don't apologize."

You just feel... Gosh... Words cannot describe how you feel. This is all so new and you honestly feel more alive, more alive than you ever have. Being with Joel feels just as it did twenty years ago. He's still the same man you fell in love with. You're unsure if whether or not those feelings remain as they did then but either way, you're glad to be with him again. Plus, with all this time you have, you'll be able to figure out how you truly feel for him.

"You can stay here tonight, by the way." Joel said out of no where and somehow so casually. You turned your head to look at him. He seemed a little too normal about all of this. Did he just expect you to believe that he'd say that? Funny, because you didn't. You thought you'd have to sleep outside as always or in a guest house of sorts. "Are you sure? I don't mind leaving Jackson for the night, I can always come back tomorrow." "Quit that, this couch pulls out, you can use it for the night 'til we figure out what's goin' on tomorrow."

How sweet and thoughtful of him. That will be nice. You can't even recall the last time you slept on a real bed. Maybe back in Maine once or twice, but you've been either on the ground or in a cheap, torn up sleeping back ever since this fuckery of an apocalypse arupted. "Thanks Joel, that's kind of you. I appreciate that." "Anytime sugar." Joel murmured before sipping the last bit of his tea. Sugar? That's a new one. He's so damn Southern.

"I'll be right back, I gotta change, then I'll get ya set up for bed. Sound good?" "Take your time." You said with a friendly smile. Joel gave you a nod and trailed off to the upstairs part of his home to where you assume is his bedroom. You are all alone now, alone with your thoughts. You don't even know what to think. This is honestly a dream come true. You're with Joel after all these years and it feels as if the world has stopped and it's only you and him. You wish it were truly that way.

In a way, you feel like no time has passed. Your guy's relationship has stayed the same. He still treats you as he did all those years ago and God, it feels amazing. You didn't expect this, no, not one bit. You thought there was a chance he'd forget you or simply want nothing to do with you. You're glad those pestering & reoccurring thoughts were incorrect. Being with Joel again, especially like this, is such a blessing.

You stood up off of the couch and set your glass of tea down. It was almost gone and you'd be sure not to waste it. You aren't hungry nor very thirsty so you're able to savour it. Joel got you and him some early dinner earlier. The two of you had steak sandwiches and God, having real food was heavenly. It tasted golden. You hope soon enough you can have another real meal such as that one.

You heard the sound of stairs creaking and groaning as Joel stumbled down them. You looked down, noticing he had no shirt on. He was wearing plaid red pants that were quite baggy on him. These must be his night wear. In his hand, he was holding a water colored green shirt that looked as if it'd be huge on you. Funny enough, he brought it down for you. "Figured you might wanna sleep in somethin' that's actually comfortable. Fine with this?" He asked you. You nodded.

Joel tossed you the shirt and crossed his arms. "You can go change in the bathroom just over there, I'll get the bed out for ya." "Ok. Thank you, Joel." You leered and jogged over to the wooden, western door he pointed towards. You opened it and closed it behind you and as you did, you pressed your forehead against it. This is insane. It's almost too much. His shirt and now he's making your bed? You feel weird but in a good way. You feel adrenaline and pure excitement and it's coursing through you madly.

You stripped out of the gnarly clothes you've been wearing and threw on his T shirt which was big on you. It reminded you of when you were a little girl-your dad's shirts were your main sleeping wear. Your dad had so many and you remember loving the smell of them and just wanting to sleep in one every night. This is truly reminiscent of those times. You weren't wearing any pants, not that it mattered anyways considering the shirt goes down to your upper thighs. His T shirt and panties it is.

Exiting the bathroom, you left the door open just a bit before trotting back to the living room in which you'd be resting in for the night. Joel looked over at you and smirked but evidently attempted to hide it. "I uh, made your bed." Joel cleared his throat and stepped away. It looks very warm. There's a singular pillow with a sheet covering the not so thick mattress but it's way better than the hard ground. As for a blanket, there's a fluffy black one coating half of the bed that'll surely engulf your body whilst you sleep.

"Thank you Joel, truly. You didn't have to do any of this, I hope you know that." "I do... To be honest with ya, it's my guilty conscience and the fact I care so damn much about you." He spoke with console as he sat on the edge of the mattress. You slowly stepped over to him and took a seat right beside him. You got a whiff of his masculine scent and it made your body stiffen for a moment. The musk of this man will forever get you intoxicated.

You bit your lower lip before ultimately figuring out what to say to him. "I care about you too, a lot. I appreciate your hospitality." You smiled at him. Joel nodded and took your hand in his. The size difference was humorous even. You sighed softly as his thumb caressed your palm. "I hope you know darlin', I have always felt guilty for how I left you back in Texas." Oh. He does now? "I coulda taken you with us but I was so fuckin' worried about Sarah and my head wasn't thinkin' clearly that night... I am sorry."

You truly never cared about that because you understand. Sarah is Joel's daughter, she comes first and it was only logical to get her to safety and worry for her above anyone else, even Tommy. In reality, it did hurt you. You wish you could've stuck with him but then again, you've learned so much from being on your own and honestly, you wouldn't change how your experience has been for anyone or anything-it has been an eye opener like no other.

"Oh Joel," You spoke with solum. "I truly never held that against you, okay? I understand from the moment it happened. Sarah comes first always, okay? Even now that she's gone, she's still first." You stated. You heard Joel have a shaky breath before easing it. "You've always been empathetic." He chuckled and stood up, your hand slipping out of it. Your head went upwards to look at him. You could tell he was becoming emotional but trying hard to supress it.

Joel gandered down at you then back at the bed. "How 'bout you try and get some sleep, hmm?" Joel muttered, yawning himself which caused you to yawn too. You giggled and nodded. "Guess I should." You agreed. Joel looked outside the large paneled living room windows and saw it's still raining out. "At least it won't be completely silent." He whispered. Yeah, that's good. You hate utter silence when you're trying to sleep.

"I'll see you in the mornin', yeah?" Joel said quietly. "Sure thing." "Goodnight." "Night Joel." You waved and he gave you a soft, genuine smile before treading up the staircase to go to bed himself.

You climbed up onto the couch bed and rested your head against the puffy pillow. Your neck instantly relaxed and your back seemingly rejoiced in the feeling of comfort. You sighed softly and nestled into the position you felt the most warmth and joy in. Having an actual bed feels exotic, especially nowadays. The people of Jackson are lucky. To have a literal house plus a bed with a comforter set is a luxury during these times.

Your eyes were heavy and you could hardly keep them open. As you started to drift off into a slumber, the only thing that clouded your mind was Joel and the past day the two of you have had together.

-

The next morning was peaceful. You had woken up before Joel and got dressed in the clothes you were wearing yesterday. You made sure to bundle up considering it rained last night and it is now most likely colder outside. You made that observation when noticing the trickling frost trailing down the large white windows centered in his living room.

For once, you slept good. The comfort of the pullout bed was refreshing and you really needed it. You even dreamt for once and that was surprising. The dream had Becker in it-oh how you miss the little guy. You miss his cuddles and how annoying it would get with his repeated barking. Despite the fact that traveling with a dog made living more difficult, you would've never left him behind and you put the feller before yourself. You miss him so much.

You were quite surprised Joel hadn't awakened yet. You've been on his porch for a good ten minutes or so and you've been up half an hour. Fresh air does you good. It is chilly out. Off in the distance you can see children playing near the grass patches, running around and screaming their lungs out. It's adorable. You haven't seen children much throughout the past two decades but it's nice when you do. It gives you hope.

You haven't seen Tommy or Maria since yesterday. Maria told you she is often busy but when she has the time off, Joel said he'll discuss getting you a spot here at Jackson. You feel like you're intruding in a way but Joel insists he at least tries. If Maria decides you can't stay, you completely understand. You'll most likely leave back to the city area and find a place there, despite it's dangers.

From behind you, you heard the sound of Joel's white, wooden door opening and he was standing there, tall as ever and his face presented exhaustion. You smiled and looked him up and down. Same pants he slept in but he must've thrown a shirt on before opening the front door. "Why are you out here? It's fuckin' cold." Joel chuckled and looked around outside, admiring the view of civilization. "You're right. I just needed some fresh air." You got off of the railing and entered his house.

Joel closed the door and took your jacket off, hanging it back up. "I'll try and get you some more clothes here soon. When Ellie and I officially started stayin' here, my brother hooked us up with some stuff so I'll make sure you do too." Joel stated as he plopped down onto his couch (You made sure to put the bed away). You sat down right beside him and exhaled with a quiver. "Okay then." You nodded. That was perfectly okay with you. New clothes would be great.

"How 'bout you go get some food up at one of them diners and I'll get around to talkin' with Maria?" You nodded. Sounds like a plan to you. "I can do that." You smiled and stood up. Joel nodded back at you and retied his boots and you glanced down at him. "Maria should be at her and Tommy's place, I'll talk with her there. I'll meet you back here in an hour or so, yeah?" "Okay." Joel stood up and smirked at you. "Go fill that belly and get back to me soon, alright?" "Alright." You chuckled.

-

You are sitting all alone. A wave of awkwardness and misplacement washes over you. You don't feel as though you fit in here. You know nobody yet. For food however, you managed to get some sort of stew. Not a lot considering you showed up to the diner later than usual but they managed to pull through and get you fed-which you are grateful for. Joel is probably at Maria's by now and you're hoping for a positive response from her.

If Maria sends you on your way, fair, they've helped you enough. It's just that it won't feel right. Seeing Joel after all of this time just to leave a day later feels out of place and simply wrong. You want to see him daily, just as you used to. Jackson seems to be a tight knit community though, so maybe there's a chance they'll accept you in as theirs. That's be lovely.

You took another bite of your stew. The flavours your tounge encaptured were carrot and beef so if you had to guess, it's a beef stew. It's delicious. You have a lot on your mind. Of course, Joel is the main thing. You can't stop thinking about him. This is all so surreal. Last night felt like a dream and when you woke up, you punched yourself and double-checked to make sure it was all real, and it is. You just feel so shocked, extremely shocked.

Overall though, you don't plan to hold your breath. If Maria says no, fine. If she says yes, that's amazing! You'll hope for the best but your doubts are high. For now, you just need to finish up your stew so you can make way back to Joel's place, which will hopefully be soon.

-

On your way back to Joel's house, you spotted both him and Maria ambling side by side with each other. The conversation the two of them were having appeared deep and honest. You have absolutely no intentions of interrupting considering they could be discussing your living situation, so you plan to just get inside of his house. You glanced out of the corner of your eye at Maria and she was eyeing you down. You then realized her and Joel were prowling up to his place.

You stood on the porch and leaned against the wooden railing as they stepped up it as well. "Hi Joel. Hey Maria." You said with a kind voice as they both looked at you. They're both taller than you, so you have to tilt your head in order to even maintain eye contact. "Let's get into Joel's place so we can talk a bit more comfortably, hm?" "Sure thing!" You followed Maria and Joel into his house. You closed the door behind you and Maria sat on Joel's couch beside him-you stayed standing up.

"I don't mind you residing here." Maria began with a gentle voice. "We have free houses available, quite a few actually." She went on. "Issue is however, you're one person and often, we have families flooding in, in need for a home and if one person is taking a house up, it's a bit much." Maria explained. That's understandable. An entire family deserves a home over you, that's just obvious. "Listen, with all due respect, we just can't let one person take up an entire home." Maria said quietly.

You get it. In a way, you knew this would happen. It hurts and it sucks, sure, but it's a valid reasoning on her end.

"If I knew someone who would be willing to let you house with them, I'd allow that but I can't think of any-" "Me." Joel interjected. You quickly turned your head to face him. House? With Joel? Really? This doesn't feel real, even more-so now. "Oh, that settles it then." Maria stood up with a smile. "Housing with Joel isn't half bad, if you can handle an old guy who can't do his own laundry!" Maria snickered. "Ha-ha." Joel said sarcastically and gazed down at you.

"Joel, I really don't mind leaving, it was great to see you and all but I don't want to be an intrusion." "Hun, you ain't an intrusion. I offered. Now, your job is to accept this offer." Joel crossed his arms. You laughed out a breathless laugh and glanced at Maria. She shrugged, she doesn't mind either way but so far, she'd prefer if you stayed. You seem like a great girl in her eyes and her eyes don't decieve. "I... Okay, I'll stay here then." "Perfect." Joel got off of the couch.

Maria clapped her hands together and nodded. "Officially settled. Welcome to Jackson." She said softly and put her hand on your shoulder. "I'll make sure to set up your patrol schedule and what primary job you'll be set to here soon, okay?" "Great." You nodded with happiness. Maria gleed and slowly stepped backwards. "I better get my husband, he's starving and I made him lunch. See you two around... Oh and, Joel told me you need some clothes, stop by my place later and I'll give ya some!" Maria finished up before leaving Joel's place to head over to Tommy.

You bit your lip and crossed your arms. You feel a bit nervous. It's finalized, you're living with Joel now. This feels like a dream and a nightmare combined. A dream because you'll be with Joel and you now have a place to call home but a nightmare because you're living with him. Yes, it's amazing and all but he'll see you in your most vulnerable moments and there's a saying that when you're with someone too much (Potentially someone you live with) resentment will grow. You don't want that.

Joel tilted his head and placed his fingers on your chin, tilting your head up which snapped you out of your daze. "Everything alright with you?" He asked you, seeming concerned. "Of course! I'm just a bit starstruck, that's all." "I understand. I hope me sayin' you could stay here was too much. I wasn't really thinkin' but I truly don't mind." Joel cleared the air and let go of your face. Your blush disappeared and you nodded. "That's okay, I was just a bit caught off guard but your offer has been accepted and I am grateful, really." "Good."

"Glad we figured things out then." Joel stated. "Me too, Joel." You gleamed and uncrossed your arms, your anxiety dissipating. "I'm gonna head up to my room for a bit, figure some things out. We'll get you set up later, alright?" "Alright." "Ok. If you need me, just knock on my door, yeah?" "Sure thing." You nodded and sat down on the couch. Joel then left to go to his room. You're assuming he's going to process all of this and rightfully so, it's very new.

Very, very new.

[leighlew3]

Overall, Agatha All Along was a nice watch.

I struggled to connect with a couple of the characters due to some of the writing, including William/Billy which made things a tad difficult as he was so central to the plot and reveal tbh, but oh well. The cast were ALL great in their roles though.

Overall -- I dug the show.

Felt at first like there was a lot more emotional depth to mine from and they only sort of scratched the surface in exchange for an easy to digest 'fun' tale for the casual Marvel viewer for most of the show, but they really got deep with it in the last three eps, to my surprise and enjoyment.

Sooo yeah, Agatha really is a tragic figure and sympathetic "villain".

If I'm remembering her backstory correctly (sorry, been a bit distracted with a lot of work and life stuff while watching this show and am trying to remember the specifics set up in WandaVision) -- her awful mother basically created a self-fulfilling prophecy, ffs.

Believing Agatha was incapable of good (we've seen otherwise) and thinking she had to DIE for the supposed betrayal of her coven by practicing dark magic.. it simply set in motion BY her mother. The series of events that pushed Agatha to go dark and fight back in order to survive after her own mother ignored her desperate pleas to spare her as she burned alive...

Everything Agatha did after that, while yes it was her own choosing at the end of the day, was ultimately the result of that trauma and hate for fellow witches. The ironic price she had to pay for seeking to take as much power as possible after hers was threatened by her own mother and fellow witches -- was her own child. So basically, she was harmed -- and she harmed back. Not okay, but empathy makes you try to at last understand why she did what she did and feel bad for what she went through, even if it's not an excuse for her actions. But either way, had to suffer for it. It's sorta like someone sucker punches you, so you knock 'em out cold, and then YOU go to jail. Sigh.

Also, it's petty tragic that the only genuine love she's ever known was Rio (death herself). And it seems they produced a child together (?) whom she then tragically lost. It's just irony and tragedy wrapped in irony and tragedy. Sad shit.

Anyway, I'm glad to see "Agathario" was full canon, however tragic (for now) their "ending" was. Hopeful for further exploration of them in the future. But for now, for Marvel/Disney of all companies to be the one to allow a LEAD sapphic ship with a complicated history and dark dynamics to be a canon thing? Surprising, and kudos.