#i'm glad i'm alive though which is... a lot on it's own

[somekindafairy]

god i know this is a dangerous thought game to go down but sometimes i really do just wish i realized i was trans earlier, like i really am out here feeling like a real person for the first time in my life in my 30's huh. :/

[m0nnypie]

I'VE GOT MY EYES ON YOU

Finnick Odair x fem!reader

Summary: Just the pov of Finnick loving you over the years, and remembering everything about you

Warnings: cute but with a bit of angst on Finn's part. Other than that, all happiness and love.

a/n: Well, excuse any spelling mistakes, English isn't my first language. And I tried my best to make it as much like Finnick as I could, but this is my first fic of his lol. Anyway, I hope you like it and enjoy <3

Words: 1.8k

Finnick remembers the first time he saw you. He was eight and you were only six. Your father had gone to see his for some reason Finnick can't remember — not least because he hadn't been paying attention to them. What he does remember is you glaring at him. It made him laugh, which only deepened your frown.

He imagines it was because you didn't like him very much at the time. He didn’t blame you. With your older brother constantly saying that no boy was any good, it was hard to be friends with anyone he was always badmouthing. Finnick didn’t blame your brother either — in a world like theirs, any protection, even unnecessary, was better than none. Still, nothing changed how cute and funny he had found you at the time. After that day, you never met in person again.

The time he considers the second was when his name was called at the reaping. He remembers your eyes glued to him; you were twelve, and he was fourteen. He could feel your pity seeping through his skin. He didn’t blame you — after all, like it or not, it was still the Hunger Games. But knowing that you were looking at him made it almost funny to him, and it was with that thought in mind that he entered the arena.

The third time was when he returned home victorious. Of course, there were lots of people congratulating him — his relieved family and everyone else — but the only thing he saw was you, walking toward him. He didn't think it was of his own volition, considering you was with your father and brother, but as soon as you approached, you wore the best, most beautiful smile he had ever seen you give. And for the first time in years, you spoke to him.

"Congratulations on winning, Finnick. I'm glad you're back... well, we're glad."

He could see the smile on your father’s face, though he couldn’t say the same for your brother. Not that he minded. So he just smiled back at you — not the smile he reserved for the Capitol, but a real smile.

"Thank you. I'm glad to see you too."

He saw you get embarrassed, and he wanted to laugh at that. But he wouldn’t — not in front of your father. Not yet.

For the rest of the day, he listened to his father talk about how much your father complained about you, because you wouldn't stop talking about Finnick. His father laughed as he ruffled his hair affectionately. And it’s not like Finnick was going to complain.

Everyone said it was normal for girls to have a little crush on boys who won at something — at least, that’s what the people he knew told him. Maybe that’s why, two months later, it was as if Finnick no longer existed to you. You were back in your own world, with your friends, without him. Not that it bothered him — not really.

The next time he really saw you, you were sixteen, and he was eighteen. He was a mentor now, and when your name was called at the reaping, he could see on your face how much you hated it. Most people didn't care or thought that a dead kid from District 4 wouldn't make much difference, since you wasn’t a Career or someone important. Finnick hated it — but he would never say so.

He also remembers how, for whatever reason, you didn't put any effort into your training. He thought it was because of what everyone thought of you as a tribute, or maybe you just didn't give a damn about dying in the arena. He didn't admit it at the time, but he had been terrified that you wouldn't make it out of the arena alive. He also remembers how surprised everyone was by your training score — including him. It was a ten. He remembers it clearly, and you didn't seem to mind.

On the day of the Games, all you did was say goodbye to your stylists. You didn't look in anyone else's direction, but he didn't blame you. If you were going to become one of the last survivors, there would come a point when you would have to kill someone. It wasn't something everyone wanted to face.

He remembers seeing you in the arena — you did well. For the first few days, you kept to yourself, hiding and trying to survive. But at some point — he can't say exactly when — things changed. Perhaps it was when the male tribute from your district was killed, or when you saw a pair of boys, just twelve years old, die.

It wasn't a change that anyone on Capitol had noticed. But Finnick knew you well enough to say that the deaths of people you barely knew had affected you. He still remembers when one of the tributes from District 4 was a twelve-year-old boy - you didn't know him, but you still went to say goodbye. You were only fourteen.

And at that very moment, you had just thrown an axe into the head of the boy from District 3 who had killed the twelve-year-olds. You hadn't thought — you had just acted. Obviously, this had a positive consequence for you in the Capitol's eyes, because a while later, you were sent food that would last for about four days.

He remembers the exact moment you won. He wanted to say he was relieved, but that wouldn't be fair to you. Until you left for District 4, you didn't say a single word to him. Perhaps because no one was looking at you with such high expectations anymore, you felt confident enough to speak.

"Do you regret killing those people to survive?"

"No."

He had to be honest; he couldn't lie. But after that, he didn't hear your voice again for the rest of the journey — you didn't even look at him. Still, when you arrived in District 4, you acted as if you were fine, as if you didn’t care.

He also remembers when you became friends. It was a good thing — a big step, considering that before, you wouldn’t even look him in the face. Now he understood why. Even though it hadn't seemed like it before, you had lots of friends. You were funny, entertaining, and you cooked extremely well. Finnick admitted that he envied your food — and he couldn’t lie about that.

He obviously remembers the following year, when the two of you were mentors. You were only seventeen, but you didn't seem bothered about directing two people toward a possible death. He saw how hard you worked not to get attached to either of the tributes, because if they didn't come back, you wouldn't feel guilty. But when Annie returned, alive and safe, he also saw you break down. You hugged her as if she were going to disappear. And he didn’t blame you for that either. Over the next year, no one ever brought up the subject of Annie becoming a mentor.

When you were nineteen, things went to another level. Once ignored, now he was kissed when no one was watching — well, that was a breakthrough. He remembers every kiss, every smile. He also remembers when you woke him up at dawn to help Annie. He didn't mind; he was spending time with you and helping a friend.

While he was making tea, if he looked over his shoulder, he could see you hugging her, whispering what sounded like a lullaby — the kind you sing to babies when they can't stop crying. He could see how much you loved and cared for Annie, and that always made him fall in love with you a little more, even if he didn’t know it at the time.

He certainly remembers the time he told you he loved you. You had just turned twenty-one. You said it back. And you held each other for the rest of the night.

He also remembers the 74th Hunger Games. He saw your relief when those two young people, madly in love — though he didn't believe in that farce — survived together. You didn’t know them, but you were obviously happy for them.

He also — sadly — remembers the Quarter Quell. When his name was called, he had imagined it would happen. But that day, once again, he saw you. Annie had been called, and before Mags could volunteer, you did. He saw you hugging Annie, comforting her as he heard her whisper "sorry," but you just smiled at her. And as you hugged, he heard you say:

"I'm sorry, but I couldn't let that happen to her again."

"I know..."

He didn’t know. No — actually, he did. He just didn’t want to admit it, because admitting it meant facing the reality that this year, he’d be going into the arena with you. And he didn’t even want to think about that.

In the arena, he did everything he could to protect you, Katniss, and Peeta. He really wanted the plan to work. He believed that you would be fine if they separated. But when he woke up, you weren’t there with him. You were in the Capitol with the others. For the first time in years, he wished he had died in that arena when he was fourteen.

He felt it the moment he got you back — you weren’t really there. He spoke to you, but you didn’t listen. And if he tried to touch you, he saw you despair, screaming as if he had hurt you. And he felt that way — he felt guilty for letting the Capitol lay even a single finger on you. They told him to take it easy. He wanted to tell everyone to fuck off, but when he looked at you, he knew they were right.

At that very moment, he was keeping you company, obviously giving you space — he didn’t want you to get hurt. But when he heard you calling him, he admitted he was desperate; you hadn’t even looked him in the face for days. So probably, if you had asked him to get down on his knees and beg for forgiveness, he would have — even if he didn’t need to. But he held back.

"Finnick?"

"Yes, dear? Do you need anything?"

"I'm sorry..." It came out as a whisper.

"Hey, hey, what are you apologizing for? You have nothing to apologize for."

"I..." You didn’t manage to finish before tears welled up in your eyes.

"Hey, hey, please don’t cry..." He tried his best to comfort you without having to touch you. But before he could decide what to do, you hugged him — a little hesitantly, but you hugged him. And at that moment, he collapsed. He shouldn’t have cried — not when you were in such a fragile moment — but he couldn’t help it.

For a moment in his life, he had thought he had lost you, that he would never see you again. And at that moment, he decided he would never let go of you — not with the possibility of losing you again. He would never let that happen. He would always see you now.

[shyoko]

This writing is my own; no copies, adaptations, or translations are allowed. I hope you like it. (English is not my first language.) 

✦ 2.2K words✧ adult cont! Soft Dom JW* Masterlist˚ Taglist✧ Requests “Open”₊‧ ✦𓂃  ✦Taglist: @lezleeferguson-120 @nuki-riki @ijustwannareadstuff20 @vvenusoncasual @miellette @enhacolor @xxkatsusjinsux @somieverse@ourshin

N/A: I hope you like it a lot. I'm bringing it to you while I'm writing the request, because I don't want to leave you with nothing. By the way, I miss my mystery person 🌸😭 (I'm writing your request, but I still don't know which member to choose 😭 ilsm🩷)

✦Adult content✦

“I've been fucking lost these days, all I could think about was you,” he smiled. ��I'm glad you're back.”

There are people who appear in your life like a sigh: brief, intense, and completely unforgettable. Jungwon was that. A deep breath in the midst of chaos, a pause that made you feel alive in ways you didn't even know you needed.

It wasn't just his smile. Nor his soft hands. Not even his voice, which seemed made to whisper things to you that no one else was meant to hear. It was him, all of him. The way he looked at you as if you were a mystery he longed to solve. As if everything about you deserved to be slowly uncovered.

Weeks passed since that night. But it was enough for your mind to cling to every fragment: the warmth of his body next to yours, the laughter at midnight, the brush of his fingers running over you as if memorizing a secret map.

And yet, when you said goodbye, something in you knew that to return so soon would be to give up. Because his last sentence - the one that still echoed in your head - he didn't say it to you by chance. She challenged you. And your pride wasn't going to let him win so easily.

But there were days, like today, where everything tightened in your chest. Where the memory of him was so strong it hurt. Where your body begged for him and your soul missed him.

Today was one of those days.

The sky was gray, as if it was agreeing with you. After days of debating it with yourself, you came to only one conclusion: there was nothing wrong with going back for more. Maybe your ego would be shattered along the way, but if it meant having him again, even if it was just one more night, it was worth it.

And though you wanted to repeat it over and over again previously, there was something to stop you: his damn last sentence before you walked through the door.

“I'm sure you won't last two days to come back, begging for more.” He told you with that smile of superiority that even today turned your stomach.

You'd been carrying his name dancing in your thoughts all day, and finally, with no more excuses, you dressed in the first thing you could find, got out and walked to his house, without thinking. No plan. Just wanting to.

And now you were standing in front of his door, hesitating whether to knock. But in your chest beat a certainty: It was time to stop fighting the inevitable.

You hesitated. Not because you didn't want to, but because you knew that once you saw him again... there would be no escape.

You knocked.

“Coming!” you heard from inside.

The door opened and there he was.His hair was still damp and tousled, as if he’d just stepped out of the shower. A t-shirt that barely hinted at what was underneath, and pajama pants that did nothing to help keep your determination intact.

“Wow...look who's back,” he said, that ever-present smile on his lips.

You came within an inch of turning and leaving, but his hands closed over yours before your body obeyed your mind. He drew you in with a gentleness that hurt.

“That expression told me you were about to run away,” he murmured as he wrapped his arms around your waist. “But I wasn't going to let you do that, not after all this time I couldn't stop thinking about you.”

His hands found their way under your shirt, tracing soft lines on your back. His words were warm, but his eyes...his eyes burned.

“Do you know what it was like not knowing if you'd come back?”

“You’re the one who challenged me.” 

“You're right, I wish I had had your phone or even knew where you lived” he hugged your body resting his head on your shoulder. “The wait would not have been so long” he laughed making his warm breath hit the sensitive skin of your neck. 

And then you couldn't take it anymore. You took his face in your hands and pulled him away from your shoulder and stood face to face. The intensity of his eyes burned against yours, provoking in you all those feelings you refused to have. 

Your lips sought his as if they were home, as if only there you could breathe. The kiss was slow at first, but soon became desperate, as if you were both trying to regain everything you had denied yourself in those weeks.

“I've missed you,” he whispered, barely audible between sighs. “And I'm going to make sure you don't want to leave this time.”

His lips slid down your neck, leaving kisses that trembled between tenderness and need. His hands found your body with the same familiarity as rereading a favorite book.

He lifted you up with ease, chuckling softly as he felt your legs wrap around his waist. He carried you to his room, never letting you go.

He laid you gently on the bed, and stood for a moment watching you from above. As if he couldn't believe you were there again. 

“I've been fucking lost these days, all I could think about was you,” he smiled. ”I'm glad you're back.”

And you, with your heart beating at an impossible pace, thought only one thing: I don't want to be anywhere else anymore.

His hands grabbed the ends of your shirt, gently pulling it away and letting it fall to the floor. Immediately, his fingers caressed your torso, exploring every curve delicately. 

His lips followed the same path, leaving kisses that caused you to shudder.

Your body felt fragile under his touch, vulnerable in his closeness. For a moment, he paused, observing every detail of you, never looking away.

“Do you realize how beautiful you are?” he murmured, his voice laden with admiration, and you felt your heart pounding under his observation.

A shiver ran down your spine as you heard his soft, yet desire-filled tone. Then his mouth descended to your skin, kissing you with a softness that sucked you in completely.

Your breath quickened as his lips followed his path, slowly descending, while his hands roamed your body with familiarity, marking each place with tenderness.

Jungwon's mouth latched onto one of your nipples, licking and biting it as his other hand squeezed the other. His expert tongue knew exactly what to do to make your body stop working. 

“I want you here, just for me,” he whispered, in a voice that seemed to drag you into a state of complete surrender.

He slowly unzipped your pants and panties, letting the cool air brush against your skin, leaving you completely exposed.  “That’s not fair,” you murmured, tugging at his shirt.He quickly understood what you wanted. He pulled his shirt off exposing his abdomen.

Your fingers explored his torso, stopping at his abs. A soft chuckle escaped from him when he noticed your reaction, he took your hands with one of his hands and pressed them to your chest before descending and pressing his lips to your neck. His lips trailed along your neck with desperate intent, marking you as his.

“You have no idea what you make me feel,” he whispered, as he pulled away from your neck.

Jungwon let out a grunt of surprise when he felt your hand cup his cock through his pants, not knowing at what point you had escaped his grip. 

Your breath hitched as you felt him tremble beneath your fingers, the contact between the two of you increasing the tension in the air. He dropped onto the bed, allowing you to take control and explore at your own pace.

A small giggle escaped your lips causing Jungwon's body to shiver in anticipation, you climbed down from his lap and removed his pants and underwear, leaving him naked in front of you. 

You took his dick between your cold fingers, as you descended to leave kisses and licks along the length, focusing on his tip. Jungwon let out various moans as he stared at you, watching your every move.

His body felt light as if it didn't belong to you. His eyes parted from you as you took a large part of him in your mouth, his head lay back, his eyes closed, as he ran one of his hands through his damp hair. It didn't take him long to take your hair between his fingers harder than he intended, speeding up and deepening your movements.

“You're doing so good for me, baby,” he murmured in a trembling voice, his body tensing as release approached. I pull your hair back, not wanting to finish yet. “Come closer, please.” he whispered softly.

You moved over his body before you rolled across the bed getting underneath him. “Now it's my turn to take care of you” he tried to climb down but you prevented him by gripping his shoulders tightly. “No, Just take me… please.” you said desperately, not wanting to wait any longer. 

A chuckle came from him making your chest warm. “It's ok honey, I'll deal with you later” he smiled softly. 

He positioned himself on you and before you could even open your mouth he was already deep inside you, deep. He was just as you remembered him, he filled every space in you making you feel full and loved. 

“ Oh God, you're made for me, aren't you baby?” his hips found a perfect rhythm, your bodies collided with euphoria, your thoughts were filled with him, his lips, and how he knew how to make you could only think of him. 

“Your skin, your scent... they make me lose my mind in ways I can’t explain.”

The only thing that filled the room was the sound of your bodies colliding and your moans, you didn't care who could hear, not right now, you would worry about that later. 

His lips pressed against yours, his tongue danced with yours as his soft hands intertwined with yours. The softness he used was the complete opposite of the movements of his hips. How she clung into you claiming you as hers, her own. 

“I love you, fuck I love you so much, I didn't think I could want to be with a person I've known so little time” the intensity of his gaze took your breath away. “You're not just anyone though, you... I want to have you with me, I never want to spend a day without you again” he smiled squeezing your cheeks. “I was stupid thinking I could forget about you” He finally glued his lips to yours biting and licking them, he wasn't kissing you like before now he was kissing you with desire. He wished you wouldn't disappear when this was all over. 

When he broke away, his eyes fixed on yours spoke to you more than any words. There was a clear message, an unspoken promise: “Don't keep me out of your life.”

His brows furrowed in pleasure and despair. He had tried to hold on as long as he could so he wouldn't have to go through the moment when you decided whether to leave or stay by his side tonight, and the next or even every night of his life. 

Your bodies climaxed at the same time, and you were left resting together, in silence. The gasps and sighs slowly faded away, until only the soft, quiet sound of your breaths, now calm and synchronized, remained.

You got up to position yourself comfortably on the mattress but Jungwon sat up quickly grabbing your wrist and staring at you with sad puppy eyes. “Are you leaving?” he asked sadly. 

“Oh! No, don't be like that, I was just going to lie down nicely on the bed” you said stroking his furrowed eyebrows which quickly returned to their natural state. A big smile appeared on her face. 

He positioned himself with you on the mattress and hugged your body tightly entangling his limbs with yours. “I promised I wasn't going to let you go, and I won't.” Laughter was not long in coming. 

“I love you” he whispered over your ear to make you shiver. 

“I love you too Jungwon” you laughed at his silly antics. 

“But I love you more” you smiled and closed your eyes to let sleep catch you.

...

...

...

“Now you were supposed to say that you loved me more,” he started to say in a playful tone. “and then me telling you that actually I that I want you more and then you saying no that you want me more and then me saying of course not that...” 

You were drifting off to sleep, but Jungwon kept talking, his voice playful and overflowing with love. It was a long night, but not for the reasons you were expecting.... 

[thankskenpenders]

At long last, the trailer for Sonic movie 3 is here, giving us our first look at Shadow! It looks like a fun time, though my excitement is probably more tempered than a lot of peoples' due to a few things I have mixed feelings on. Here are my off-the-cuff thoughts about it.

Shadow

Yes, it does seem like they've really nailed Shadow here. Fowler's attachment to the character clearly shows. The action looks cool and really sells Shadow as a serious threat. He's got his bike, he's doing Chaos Control all over the place, it's great. Keanu is very much just doing his regular voice, but it fits well enough. The backstory from SA2 seems to mostly be there, though I'm sure some details will be adjusted. Mostly I'm still just amazed that we're getting a major tentpole blockbuster movie this Christmas starring Shadow the fucking Hedgehog that treats him as a serious character worthy of respect. We've come such a long way...

I mean, just... what an image to see on the big screen.

I also really like the way they're setting Shadow up as a foil for movie Sonic, kind of his dark mirror image as a Mobian hedgehog whose family life on Earth ended in tragedy and turned him into a vengeful antagonist. It's pretty straightforward, but it works well.

Robotnik(s)

Welp. They put Jim Carrey in a fat suit. I suppose we knew this day would come eventually.

I guess a small part of me is glad that movie Eggman finally actually looks like Eggman in every way that matter, but they're completely playing it as a joke at his expense here. And, yeah, the Sonic franchise isn't immune to fat jokes, the early years of the franchise (particularly Western adaptations) gave Sonic tons and tons and tons of jabs about Eggman's weight. But I thought we'd moved past that. But here we are with a depressed movie Robotnik binge eating and gaining a lot of weight like Fat Thor and the other characters think he's so GROSS and look his clothes don't even fit him anymore, haha! There's so much of this crammed into the trailer. I can only pray they don't do this in every fucking scene he's in in the movie.

I do like the plot of Sonic reluctantly teaming up with Robotnik to try and stop Shadow, though. It's very different from SA2, but we knew it would be, and I think that gives the movie some potential for Sonic to have kind of a dark turn of his own that mirror's Shadow's. I have a feeling that Sonic will try to get back at Shadow for something he does - maybe hurting Tom or something like that - and in the end Sonic sympathizes with Shadow and decides they have to stop their cycle of revenge, teaming up to stop some final threat.

Oh, and, of course... Jim Carrey is also playing Professor Gerald. Who might still be alive? Or maybe it's a hallucination on Ivo's part? I don't know, but either way, I'm here for it. Everyone joked about them doing it and then they went and did it. Yes, it risks playing him as a joke character, but the shot of him and Shadow mourning Maria while surrounded by GUN soldiers makes me believe he won't be a total joke. I wouldn't be surprised if he was the true final antagonist of the film, which would diverge a lot from the games but would work as its own version of the story.

And again, WHAT an image to see on the big screen lmao

Everyone else

The human cast is VERY downplayed in this trailer, but let's not forget that they're still going to get a lot of screentime one way or another. The Sonic 2 trailer barely showed anything from Hawaii. Where oh where is my best friend Wade?

Speaking of the Wade show, Knuckles... frankly still seems to be mostly a comic relief character heavily influenced by MCU Thor here, getting some jokes in the trailer but immediately getting Worfed by Shadow when it comes time to fight. Tails seems to be flying the gang around in a real-ass helicopter, and his big pilot's helmet is funny, but otherwise he doesn't really do anything here aside from getting stomped by Shadow. I really hope they don't get sidelined too hard, but frankly I fully expect them to, Tails especially.

And, of course... I can't help but think about who isn't here. Namely: the girls. Yes, three movies and one streaming miniseries into this film franchise, exactly zero of the female (animal) characters from the games have made the jump to live action. Please allow me to bitch about this.

Despite her being both 1) a main character in the game this movie is loosely adapting and 2) my fave, I suppose I can understand why Rouge isn't here. Paramount took one look at that bat cleavage and went "nope," cowards that they are. There was some speculation that Kristen Ritter could be playing Rouge, but we now know she's just playing someone at GUN. But, again, I at least get why they'd be hesitant to include her.

But Amy... Amy is such a glaring omission at this point. There's no excuse. She's the female lead of the franchise. She's one of Sonic's closest friends. (Honestly, these days it's more accurate to say Team Sonic is Sonic, Tails, and Amy, not Knuckles, especially in the comics.) And she's also a key player in Shadow's arc in the game. Shadow has his change of heart because Amy reminds him of Maria! And yet, she's nowhere to be seen. It sucks.

(I know some fans are still holding out hope for Amy, but the toys for the movie already leaked and she didn't get anything, so I have to assume she's not in it.)

It's not like I really expected either of them to be in this movie, but that doesn't make it less disappointing that they set up the film franchise in a way that makes it logistically difficult to include 90% of the characters and conveniently managed to leave all of the girls in the "low priority" pile. Yes, I know everyone points to how much Tails was downplayed in the third act of Sonic 2 as evidence that it's just so impossible to introduce more than one new Mobian character in each movie and give them the focus they deserve. Yes, I know having to come up with a story excuse to bring more characters over to Earth is an obstacle, especially when they're gonna have to devote time to Shadow's backstory. But these are excuses. It's a writer's job to figure out solutions to problems like this. They could make it work if they really wanted to. I'd take Amy having a suboptimal amount of screentime over her not being in it at all. It's just not a priority for them. That's what disappoints me. You can justify these absences from a logical perspective, but I just care way more about Amy and Rouge as characters than I do about Shadow, so there's no way for this to not sting.

But, at the end of the day, for what the movie is actually trying to do, it seems to be pulling it off well. Aside from the fat jokes. I don't like the fat jokes. But the Shadow stuff is good. As always, this live action version of the franchise is never going to be my ideal version of Sonic, but it's turned out far better than it had any right to, and I'll probably have fun when I go see this in theaters and hear Live and Learn.

[happypopcornprincess]

Chapter 4 || The Great War

Pairings - Joaquin Torres X fem!Reader

Premise - will they survive the great war?

Word Count - 4.7K

Warnings: Angst, blood, gore, mentions of death

a/n - so a short storytime about the delay in the updates, well, long short I was off with family for Holi and almost got caught writing smut :) sprained my hand, which is why I couldn't type for days but I pulled through as injuries can wait but not my will to complete Joaquin and y/n's story. also imp. note that the narratives will now skip between a lot of characters so please let me know if there is any confusion :) thank you for sticking around <3 hope you would like this chapter.

<< Chapter 3 || Series Masterlist || Chapter 5 >>

Scorching sun rays on your body, and the hot desert wind on your face, You squinted through the binoculars, but your focus was split. Kingpin’s lavish bungalow, his desert stronghold, was a fortress, and you weren’t just watching—you were breaching it.

You could have done a better job at it, if it wasn't for Joaquin, who'd decided to join you, armed with binoculars.

"You know," you said, your focus unbroken from your screen, "we could have just sent a drone. Less chance of getting sunburned."

"Drones get spotted," Joaquin replied, his voice flat. "Besides, someone has to make sure you don't pass out and roll down this hill."

"Oh, I'm touched," you said, your voice dripping with sarcasm.

“When I said ‘I want to help you Sam’, I meant fighting by his side, not babysitting you.” Joaquin muttered loud enough for you to listen.

“I don’t need a babysitter.” you snapped, your eyes still glued to the scene before you.

“Give me one good reason why I'm stuck with you here and not on the scene with the team?”

“You volunteered for this, very enthusiastically, might I add,” you mutter under your breath.

“I just want to say if this fails… I’ll personally haunt you in the afterlife.” Joaquin growls.

“And I just wanna say if you keep running your mouth I might have to punch you.” you retorted, your fingers flying across the tab. The bungalow’s security system was a labyrinth, but you were navigating it, line by line.

“And I just wanna say, if I had a gun, I’d have already put a bullet through my skull,” Kate interjected, her voice laced with dark humor that made you both whirl around.

She settled between the two of you, pulling out her own binoculars, though her gaze was drawn to your screen. "And before you ask, no, I didn’t crawl up here for the view. I’m here to make sure you two don’t fry a circuit—or each other."

"Oh," you muttered, your focus intensely on the code scrolling across your screen. "Almost got past the third firewall..."

“No, ‘oh kate i’m so glad you’re alive?’ or ‘i’m sorry for being a jerk, kate.’ or, ‘hey how about we go to the movies after this to forget how we almost kicked each other’s butts the other day.’”

“You can just say you want to watch a movie with me,” you muttered, your eyes still trained on the gates.

“Seriously, Y/N?” she whined, but the edge in her voice was gone. “I’m sorry. I was… riled up. Watching Frank and Daredevil crash our mission, and the fact that he wanted to kill Fisk… I took it out on you.”

Kate’s voice dropped, becoming softer, almost hesitant. “And I said some really hurtful things to you. I wish I could take them back. I shouldn’t have said that.”

You took a deep breath, the weight of her apology settling on you, but your hands never stopped typing. "I know," you replied, your voice tight. "It’s alright. I get it." You patted her arm awkwardly, a brief, almost clumsy gesture, before returning to your screen. "Almost there… bypassing the internal sensors… got it!"

Joaquin, however, didn’t miss the subtle shift in your demeanor. His gaze lingered on you as he watched you work. 

"What are you doing now?" He asked.

"Disabling the cameras, and internal sensors." You reply without looking up. "Once I do that, I can let the team know where the blind spots are, and they can go in… Got it!”

You smile, and speak into the comms, “Sam, defenses down. All data is with redwing you can proceed. Good luck.”

Kate tapped both your shoulders, “good luck.” and she went back.

Joaquin stood up, deploying his falcon suit, and you followed, tightening your utility belt and strapping your tab inside your vest.

You winced, “ah!” gripping your wound as it sent a jolt up your body. Joaquin’s hand raised to reach for you, but he retreated as you walked to him, his stance rigid. It was hard to read his eyes, now covered with his visor lenses.

“Don’t you dare drop me.” you state, locking your arms around his shoulders.

He let out a dry laugh, “ha, I wish I could.” saying so, he pulled you in by your waist, harshly, and took off into the sky.

The wind whipped at your face, stealing your breath. As on instinct, you clung to him, burying your face in the crook of his neck. You swore he held you closer, but maybe it was just the wind, or the way your mind was playing tricks on you. It was too easy, the way your body fit against his. 

It was like muscle memory, an echo of a time when you were friends, before the tangled mess of your arrangement. 

On you apartment’s fire escape, Joaquin sat on the stairs, holding out his hand, a teasing grin playing on his lips. “Come on.”

“I can’t!” you whined.

“You can’t be scared of heights when your best friend is the Falcon,” he laughed with a playful challenge.

“Y/N, I thought I was your best friend!” Peter’s voice echoed, and you looked up to see him hanging upside down just above you.

“Can you stop doing that?” you snapped, your stomach twisting with anxiety, a strange warmth spreading through you when you looked at Joaquin.

“Look, it’s only the fourth floor. It’s not that high! You know, I once flew next to an F-15 with Sam. You know how high that is?” Joaquin insisted.

“That does not make me feel better, Joaquin!” you scream.

“I’m here just in case you fall. I’ll web you up!” Peter offered, but his upside-down presence only amplified your anxiety.

“No.”

“Okay, that leaves us only one other way,” Shang-Chi spoke up from behind you, before literally hauling you up and pushing you out onto the fire escape. You screamed and thrashed a bit, but calmed down once you felt Joaquin’s hand hold you tight by your waist.

You breathed hard, but Joaquin let you wrap your hands around him, rubbing your back, his laugh vibrating through you.

“I got you.” he urged you to look at him and you did. His calm demeanor and his touch on your skin should have calmed you, but your heart raced faster. You shift your gaze to the New York skyline, the sun disappearing behind the tall buildings, the bustling crowds beneath you and the cold wind on your face.

Shang Chi sat next to you, placing his arms behind your body, and you calmed down completely.

“Incoming!” Kate laughed before rolling down from the railing above and lying down on your legs, laughing, all while Peter hung upside down.

You saw the new york sunset together, and sat there in silence until the sky turned blue. 

That’s when you hit Shang Chi’s arm.

“Ow!”

“That was for pushing me out.” you laugh.

 Kate gasped, hitting Shang Chi, “You pushed her out on the fire escape?”

“Can you both stop hitting me?” he protests.

“Okay, time out!” Joaquin leaned to make Kate stop hitting Shang Chi, and sneakily made a face, making you laugh.

“Can you move?” Joaquin’s voice vibrates through you, making you realise your legs were touching the ground.

You jerked away from him, as he disengaged his helmet, meeting your gaze with disappointment.

The comms came to life with Bucky’s voice, “we’re in! Y/n, you have 10 minutes tops, starting now!”

You crashed back to reality, all your focus shifting to your mission, “Roger that.” Saying so, you ran with Joaquin on your heels, the lingering warmth of his touch a ghost on your skin.

But as you moved, a dangerous, sudden realization slammed into your chest with the force of a physical blow.

You were falling for him.

And you were terrified.

It was the specific, visceral terror of falling for him. 

Joaquin, the man who had been your friend, your confidant, your… something else entirely. The man who had declared it was over, who had built his own walls, colder and taller than yours.

This was a dangerous game, where the stakes were your heart, and the opponent was someone who knew exactly how to dismantle your defenses.

As you entered the enemy territory, the realization sent a shiver down your spine. You pushed it down, shoved it into a locked box in the deepest part of your mind, where it wouldn't interfere with the mission. 

But the fear lingered, a cold, hard knot in your stomach, a constant reminder of the dangerous path you were now on.

—/—/—

The moment you stepped through the reinforced door, the world shifted, a stark and unsettling contrast to the harsh desert landscape you'd just left. The bungalow’s interior was a crafted miracle, a bizarre blend of mid-century modern and Renaissance, as if a set designer had suffered a stylish, schizophrenic break.

It wasn't just a house; it was a stage. 

The walls painted a blinding, almost clinical white, stretched into high, vaulted ceilings, creating an echoing space. The walls were a gallery, a bizarre collection of paintings that seemed to have been plucked from different eras and styles. The air itself felt different, sterile, a faint tone of rose underlying in it. 

Every surface, every object, was eerily pristine, untouched by dust. It was as if the entire space was a museum exhibit, where nothing was allowed to be out of place. 

The halls of the mansion were empty, no soldiers in sight. You found a staircase leading upstairs, but your focus was to find a hidden wall or a door that leads downstairs; that’s where all the fun was.

Joaquin whispered, “y/n, look.” you turn towards the room he was pointing in, and see it; a huge 9-feet oil painting of Wilson Fisk and Vanessa Fisk, standing ominously, their gaze pouring into you both like a warning of not coming any closer.

Walking closer, you both quickly set to analyze the edges for some mechanism, or a hint towards an opening, moving your fingers around the edges, and suddenly a sharp click broke the silence.

Joaquin and you looked at each other, and he gave you a thumbs up. The painting started to move, slowly opening on the outside to reveal an elevator. You both rush in, and find only two buttons on it; G and -1. Clicking on the -1 button, the doors closed, and the elevator roared to life.

When the doors opened, you found yourself looking at a lavish living room; the walls painted maroon, the furniture all black, and a small kitchen counter on a corner filled with canned food… right next to a computer system with two screens stacked on top of each other.

Gotcha

“It’s a safe house within a safe house.” Joaquin muttered, as you made a run for the computers.

“Y/n!” the comms roared back to life, Peter's voice a shout in the midst of gunfire, “did you find it?”

“Yes!” you scream, your fingers itching to get to work.

“Finish up as soon as you can!” Kate screamed next, grunting, probably shooting arrows, “these soldiers are playing real dirty.”

“Got it.” your fingers fly on the keyboard as you fish out the tab from within your vest, shoving it at joaquin, “find me a passage to the dark web.”

“What?” he looks at you, dumbfounded.

“You heard me.” you command, without removing your eyes from the desktop.

Joaquin got to work, and you bypass the security and passcodes with algorithms to access the files. Writing a code for accessing all files at once, you find both screens filled with every single file from the computer.

And you froze.

Whatever you were expecting, this wasn't it.

“Ay dios mío” Joaquin muttered.

The screens were filled with videos of every single person on your team.

“Goddamn, He'd steal the pennies off a dead man's eyes” you exclaimed, your Texan drawl slipping through.

Bucky and Sam on the Flag Smashers mission, Frank Castle murdering a room filled with mercenaries, Kate with Clint on the streets of new york, but the most shocking one was of Peter changing into his spidey suit in an alleyway, and the Daredevil on a rooftop, pulling off his mask to reveal his identity.

“Mathew Murdock? The lawyer from Hell’s kitchen!” Joaquin’s voice was filled with disbelief, “but he’s blind!”

You shake your head, trying not to get distracted by the sudden revelations, and you type in another code to reveal only the statistical and recorded data over the years; logs of purchases, black money turning white, reports of how many corrupt officials were there in the system, and the most important, proof of all the crimes, and murders he had committed in the past years. You put them all in one, single, mega file, and readied to upload it on the dark web, “Joaquin, how long?”

“30 seconds.” he answers, his hands flying across the tab.

“Looks like you’re winning, y/l/n.”

Your heart leapt into your throat as you turned around, whipping out your gun at the man standing behind you. Joaquin dropped the tablet, kneeling next to you with two Glocks in his hands.

Benjamin Pointdexter, instead of rotting in jail, was standing right infront of you, smirking, his hands twirling two razor sharp knives, “I know you don’t go by that name anymore, it’s just y/n now, right?”

Your mind raced to stall for time, you knew you stood no chance in front of a psychotic individual who could make impossible shots with his knives, earning him the nickname of Bullseye.

“Your folks back in Texas would be sad about you not taking your last name.” he laughed, “traditions and all, you know.”

“How did you find us?” Joaquin grumbled.

“You found me, actually. You really thought Mr. Fisk would leave this room unguarded?” he started to walk towards you, his fingers spinning the knives faster than ever, “any last wishes?”

Joaquin looks at you, and speaks just a single word, “10 seconds.” before opening fire at Dexter.

—/—/—

Those 10 seconds were the longest 10 seconds of your life. 

You leapt towards the tab, pressing upload on all the files to the dark web. Opening the comms, you screamed, “Backup, lower ground… fisk’s portrait!”

You whipped around, and your blood ran cold. A knife was hurtling towards Joaquin's neck. He reacted by twisting away, a blade flashing from his own jacket, plunging into Dexter's thigh. Dexter roared, an agonizing sound leaving his throat, kicking Joaquin away as he grabbed razor-sharp shards from his suit.

"NO!" a sound of pure terror ripped from your throat watching him about to throw them at Joaquin. You lunged, slamming into Dexter, sending you both crashing to the floor. You pound your fists against him, a frenzy of precise but desperate blows, but he just laughed, a chilling, maniacal sound before catching your fist mid-swing, twisting your wrist with brutal force.

A scream tore from your lips, the pain white-hot, unbearable. But you were beyond pain, fueled by rage. You punched him again, ignoring the agony. 

You saw Dexter's smile twist into something truly sinister. Before you could react, before you could even brace yourself, he stabbed you, the knives sinking into the same wound, the same place you'd been shot before.

He kicked you away, the force of it sending you sprawling. He pulled more knives, ready to inflict more damage. But Joaquin was on him with a whirlwind of furious strikes with his knife, only to have Dexter’s own blade slash across his neck. 

A crimson spray burst out of his neck, a horrifying sight.

It was as if time had completely stopped.

Joaquin. Your Joaquin. The one whose laughter echoed in your ears, a constant, comforting sound. The one who had held you steady when you felt utterly adrift. The one you’d treated with a reckless, careless abandon, like a moth drawn to a dangerous flame, even though he deserved nothing but love.

And now, he was hunched over, clutching his neck, his fingers stained crimson. 

The sight was a brutal, visceral punch to your gut, a stark, horrifying image that burned itself into your mind. His comforting embrace after training, his laughter on the fire escape, his glances across the room searching for you at any moment, the night you two first met. Every laugh you’d shared, every moment you spent together, it all seemed to flash before your eyes in that horrifying moment.

The guilt, a heavy, suffocating weight, pressed down on you, threatening to crush you. How could you have been so careless with the man that you…

With the man that you loved.

The image ignited a fire in you, a desperate attempt of adrenaline pumping inside you,and you were moving like a broken thing driven by pure instinct. 

You stumbled at Dexter, your body screaming in protest, but you couldn't stop.

Then Dexter was throwing knives, every blade he had, a lethal rain aimed at you.

You coughed as they pierced through your body, a gurgling sound, blood bubbling up in your throat. Your vision swam, the pain a relentless, crushing wave. Your body was betraying you, cold and numb, but you fought, crawling towards the computer, a desperate last attempt to see if you were successful.

But Dexter was there, a dark shadow, his knives slashing, destroying the system. Sparks flew, screens flickered and died. All that work, all that pain, for nothing.

He loomed over you, a dagger in his hand, his eyes cold and cruel. "Well, this is a shame," he hissed, his voice a low, mocking growl. "I would have loved to have more fun with you."

His twisted smile was the last clear image you saw, before the world dissolved into a blurry darkness.

—/—/—

Gunshots.

A heavy thud of weight landed right next to you.

Shuffling of bodies, and somebody shouted your name from a far away distance.

"Dammit! Peter, get the Quinjet!" Bucky's shout echoed through.

Your name was called out again.

Your body felt lightweight, as if you were floating in air.

And then it was bright all of a sudden.

Your vision returned just to have a look at the crystal blue afternoon sky, the whirl of quinjet’s engine in the distance.

A sob went through your ears, a voice so familiar, "Stay with me y/n, baby, please."

Joaquin.

He was alright.

His voice was the last thing you heard before being catapulted into darkness.

—/—/—

"F.R.I.D.A.Y.!" Bucky roared, his voice cracking, his eyes glued to Y/N's still form on the Quinjet’s platform.

The minute he had entered Kingpin’s den his eyes had landed right on her. She was so pale, her skin like cold, lifeless marble. It sent Bucky to empty his barrel into Dexter who lay dead right next to y/n. The pool of blood beneath her was a sickening crimson stain, enough to send a wave of nausea crashing over him. He'd wanted to snatch her up, hold her close, but Sam's hand on his arm held him back, a silent, firm restraint.

Shang-Chi's rings glowed at that moment, and like a shimmering golden shield cradling her body, the rings lifted her gently off the ground. He was carrying her, floating, trying to minimize any further damage as they rushed her into the Quinjet.

"Scan complete. Multiple organ failure, massive blood loss, ruptured lungs, heart rate decreasing rapidly," F.R.I.D.A.Y. 's flat, emotionless voice filled the cramped space, each word a brutal blow.

"Any damage to the heart?" his voice was tight, strained.

"No critical damage detected."

"Okay... uh... okay..." Bucky's stomach churned. He couldn't look at the knives sticking out of her, couldn't bear the sight of her broken body. He turned away, but it didn't help.

Peter and Frank were with Joaquin, trying to stop the flow of blood from his neck. The cut wasn't deep, just above his collarbone, but his vest was soaked, a dark, horrifying stain. He'd passed out as they boarded the jet, his delirious cries for Y/N echoing in the small space, a desperate, broken sound that tore at Bucky's heart.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y... get the med bay ready," Bucky commanded, his voice rough.

"Shang-Chi—" Bucky started, but Shang-Chi cut him off, his face grim.

"The rings are creating a field to keep her blood from getting out. They will also keep her heart beating, just in case..." He shared a look with Bucky, a look that spoke of unspoken fears, of the very real possibility of losing her. A look Bucky hated.

Kate and Peter were at the controls, their faces tight, Kate occasionally getting a glance back at y/n, flying them back to the compound. Daredevil, mask off, sat huddled in a corner, his gaze fixed on the floor. Bucky was seconds away from snapping, from unleashing his pent-up rage, when he saw the object clutched in Daredevil's hand: a silver cross.

He was praying, silently. He was a man desperately hoping for a miracle.

Bucky's own throat tightened. He remembered a secret, a truth he'd only shared with Sam: Y/N reminded him of a person so close to him back then, it physically hurt him to even think about her; his sister, Beatrice. 

Hauntingly familiar, just like her. The same mischievous grin before she did something mischievous, the same laughter that could fill any room with joy. 

He closed his eyes, a silent prayer escaping his lips, a desperate plea to whatever power might be listening…

Please, save her.

-/-/-

Joaquin's eyes fluttered open to the sterile white of the med bay ceiling, the smell of spirit overwhelming his senses.

He was alive. His forehead ached like he could feel the blood flow in his head, and a sharp sting from the gash on his neck burned as he opened his mouth, but he was alive. 

His first thought, a desperate, clawing panic, was for Y/N.

"Y/N?" His voice was a raw whisper, barely audible. "Is she…"

Shang Chi helped him sit up on the hospital bed, and he was met with Peter and Kate’s grim faces, etched with a silence that sent a chill through him. They avoided his gaze, their bodies stiff, their silence heavy.

"Sam got Kingpin," Peter said, his voice flat, his shoulders slumped. "He's on his way to New York. Going to trial for everything you and Y/N exposed."

Joaquin barely registered the words. A terrifying feeling invaded his heart as it beat faster; why was Peter avoiding his question? His eyes were fixed on them, searching for the truth they were so clearly trying to hide. "And Y/N?" he repeated, his voice strained.

“Joaquin, how about you rest up a bit…” Kate says calmly as she approaches his side, but Joaquin shakes his head, repeating his question.

"She's… she's in surgery," Kate said, her voice trembling slightly. "It's… we can’t tell if she-" she choked on her words, falling on the chair next to his bed.

The words hung in the air. A wave of nausea washed over him, a cold, sickening dread.

Shang-Chi placed a hand on his shoulder, sighing, a gesture that was meant to be comforting, but felt like a lead weight. "She's strong, Joaquin. She'll pull through.”

Joaquin saw the flicker in Shang-Chi's eyes, the carefully neutral expression that masked the unspoken fear. He knew they were holding back about her, trying to shield him from the truth. 

A small part of him still wished this was all a dream. A bad one, but still. Any minute now, he would wake up, right next to her sleeping form, and he’ll hold her, hug her, tell her she’s gonna be okay.

Then he heard Kate and Peter's hushed conversation next to him, the words cutting through the sterile silence of the room. "...we need to contact him."

“But, Kate…”

“Connor is her emergency contact peter, this could be the last time they-”

"Connor?" Joaquin's voice was sharp, a sudden jolt of confusion. "Who's Connor?"

The others exchanged a look, filled with confusion.

"You don’t know about Connor?" Peter said, his voice barely a whisper, “he’s her brother.”

Joaquin's breath hitched. Her brother. He knew she had a brother, but he had never known his name, never had any real details. Why did she never tell him before? Why was her brother the emergency contact? What about her parents?

His heart dropped when he recalled her behaviour. Overtly self dependent, her episode at the apartment, her smile disappearing at any mention of family, the phone call the day before the mission. His mind raced as he joined the dots in his head. Could it be…

"I need to see her," he rasped, his voice thick with emotion.

"Joaquin, you need to stay here," Shang-Chi said, his voice low but stern, "You need to get yourself together."

"Get myself together?" Joaquin's voice rose with his anger, a raw, broken sound, "She's dying! And you want me to get myself together?"

He tried to get out of the bed to stand, but his legs were weak, his body trembling. He stumbled, only to be caught by Shang Chi.

"Joaquin!" Shang-Chi's voice was sharp, a rare scolding tone. "You're not going anywhere. You're lost too much blood, you need rest. You will only make things worse."

Joquin breathed hard, clouded by the single thought of her. y/n smiling down at him from the fire escape, how she fitted right into his arms, her heartfelt laughter ringing in his ears, how her existence made him brighter. 

Joaquin sank back onto the bed, his body shaking, his eyes filled with a desperate, agonizing helplessness. He closed his eyes, hoping to see her image sitting next to him bathed in sunlight… alive.

But instead, he saw her face in the Kingpin's den, frozen, blank, seconds before Dexter's knives plunged into her. A replay of his worst nightmare. He remembered his desperate attempt to reach her before Dexter could do the unthinkable. 

The way her eyes had flickered, then gone blank.

The weight of suffocating darkness that threatened to consume him entirely loomed over him. He was alone, and the only light he ever cared about, was fading away.

To Be Continued...

<< Chapter 3 || Series Masterlist || Chapter 5 >>

A/N - Thank you everyone for sticking with me till the end of this fic! if you liked it please let me know through the asks and the comments. Next Chapter will be up soon... Love y'all, Take Care!

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[mintedwitcher]

I spent the last two days catching up on all the episodes of 911 that I've missed, and I need to say a few things. actually, a lot of things. this got long so I'm putting it under a cut.

8b is significantly better overall than 8a. the storylines, the pacing, the character interactions. it is significantly better in this half of the season. that being said:

I have mixed feelings about Eddie's SL. on the one hand, I'm proud of him for finally making a good parenting decision (putting his son first). on the other, I hate how it felt like he was essentially rewarded for the bare minimum. I also hate how he treated Buck, but that's a sidenote.

I didn't like Maddie's kidnapping arc. I hate that they made the villain a cheap, bad example of DID, when it would've been far more interesting for her to be entirely neurotypical. people with mental illness are more likely to be the victims of violent crime than the perpetrators of it, and this plot felt like a slap in the face to anyone with mental health concerns, especially with the addition of Maddie talking a man into suicide (even though it didn't really happen), and then slapping the suicide hotline on the end credits like that was going to do anything. I'm not even actively suicidal and Maddie's speech to the "kidnapper" was triggering as all hell for me. I can't imagine how much worse it was for people who are still fighting that battle. I do like that they didn't just let Maddie brush it all off like nothing happened, however I do think she still should've faced actual consequences for what she said on the phone. In season 2, Gloria got fired just for hanging up on people. Maddie talked a caller into killing himself. That should've had consequences.

Athena, for once, I have no complaints about. her storylines felt more grounded in reality in 8b, and there was significantly less of the 'vigilante cop' angle, which I'm definitely happy about. (I don't know or care what happened in the Dr Odyssey crossover, so I can't speak on that.) I liked her having a rookie, AND I like that the rookie faced consequences in-universe for what he did. I wish that was more common, but I'm still glad it happened, and I'm looking forward to s9 bringing in a new (hopefully better) rookie for Athena to train.

Ravi, no notes, he was amazing in every episode.

now for the Big One: Bobby.

I loved this arc. it felt real and serious in a way that 911 frankly hasn't been lately. Bobby dedicating himself to saving his team is so entirely in character. it's what he's always done, ever since we were first introduced to Bobby Nash. he has always and will always put his team and his family before himself, every single time, because the one time he didn't, he lost everything. this is a man who knows the agony of loss, the pain of guilt, and who will do whatever it takes to protect others from feeling the same thing. the fact that his death is an act of personal sacrifice - letting Chim take the antiviral, keeping silent about his own infection - is the only way he could possibly go out.

(I've seen a lot of theories about him still being alive, but I have to disagree, vehemently. this is not a sci-fi show, this is not Supernatural. characters who die in 911 stay dead, even if the memory of them doesn't.)

showcasing Athena and Chim's grief in the funeral episode was an amazing choice. mirroring Athena's grief with Leah, mirroring both women's denial, it was a fantastic narrative decision, and it works so well. Leah couldn't let go of Micah, Athena couldn't let go of Bobby. they were both prolonging and delaying their grief, and they were only finally able to put down that weight when they accepted that their loved ones were truly gone. when they accepted the permanence of it.

and Chimney - the guy who stays level-headed, the guy who doesn't get angry, not really, not often - being the one full of rage at Bobby's death was so important. grief is painful, and the unfairness of it is infuriating. and for Chim to be the one to express that, I think, was the best choice they could've made. it would've been too easy to give anger to Eddie, or Buck, but giving it to Chim felt more real. because yeah, out of all of them, Chim has arguably the most reason to be angry. Bobby lied to him, to all of them, and while it did save Chim's life, it still hurts, because what if... you know? what if there was another way, what if there was a way to buy time, what if there was something he could do. Chim is a paramedic, his entire life revolves around healing people, keeping them alive. watching Bobby go out like that would've felt like a failing on Chim's part, like he didn't do enough, like he wasn't good enough. so yeah, Chim being angry was the perfect choice.

I'm looking forward to seeing how the grief is handled for Ravi, Hen, Eddie, and Buck in the next two episodes. if they keep the same tempo as this one, I'm guessing we'll get to focus on two mains per ep, with some scenes to show how the others are coping in the meantime.

I saw someone on here theorise that the show is essentially using the characters to personify the stages of grief, so it's definitely going to be interesting to see who takes which role in the next two episodes. I feel like Ravi and Eddie are both going to be 'bargaining' - they both feel a measure of personal responsibility, as if they could've 'done more', we saw glimpses of it already in e16. I think Hen will be 'acceptance'. she went back to work a week early to be there for her team.

and so that leaves 'depression' for Buck, which I think is very accurate. he's holding on for now, for everyone else, but I think the more he pushes it down, the worse it's going to be, and the more numb he's going to become. out of everyone in the 118, Buck takes their losses the hardest. he cares so much, and with so much of himself, that he just can't help it. he feels every single loss like a personal one, and this might be the most personal loss he's ever endured. Bobby was like a father to him, and he was the one who had to watch, who had to relay the news, who had to walk away and let Bobby die. that is going to break him, I think.

I can't wait to see how it goes down for the next two episodes. I've been saying for months that 911 needs to shake things up if they want to stay afloat, and the only options for Bobby going forward were always going to be death or retirement. I'm sad that he's gone, and I'll miss Bobby all the time going forward, but I am so excited to see what new storylines can come from this change.

I know not everyone is going to agree with me, so I'm asking now, if you want to add your opinions here, go ahead, but be civil about it. I'm not looking for discourse. any hate will be deleted and blocked on sight. my asks are currently open if anyone wants to discuss the show there.

[joetavis]

Endgame AU in which Tony survives Endgame, but falls into a coma with little to no brain activity. And the avengers aren't ready to give up hope, yet, so they ask doctors and magicians and whatever.

And the first time Steve visits him in the hospital he thinks he lost it, because he sees Tony (in the bed) but also next to a doc going through his file. And then Fake-Tony starts talking and makes remarks, but noone else seems to hear him, so Steve just stares at him so obviously that Sam asks him if he's alright and hallucination!Tony looks up and realises that Steve sees him and grins.

And Steve (who thinks he's going crazy) can't even stop looking, even though Sam is confused and hallucination!Tony just laughs at him, because this is Tony. He can't look away from him. Especially now that he gets to see Tony alive!

And Steve, who is so far gone, just whispers a faint: "Hi."

"Of course you would be the one to be able to see me." Tony laughs and stares at Steve respectively.

Sam at this point would probably just think Steve is grieving because Tony is in a coma and down bad, and sighs before leaving Steve alone:

"I'm going crazy aren't I. Can't even let go of you now that you're half-" dead. Steve would have said, if he could bring himself to say it.

Hallucination Tony just shrugs and plops down next to his unconscious self. Steve sits down next to the bed, his eyes pointedly not looking at Tony's real body, but instead fixated on his mind-Tony.

"You better not let go of me yet. Technically I am still alive, you know?"

"Then why do I imagine your ghost roaming around?"

"Maybe you just miss me." Fake-Tony said and stuck out his tongue at Steve.

"That much is painfully obvious." Steve huffed and buried his head in his hands, only enough that he could still see Tony's brown eyes through his fingers.

Tony easily jumped over that statement. "You can't imagine how glad I am that you didn't take 2 years to see me. I was boreeeed. Couldn't talk to anyone for a week. I think I was close to loosing my mind."

"You are close to loosing your mind?" Steve asked, unimpressed, staring down his own hallucination of Tony Stark. "Yeah right."

"Hey," Fake-Tony laughed, "You can't exactly put a monopoly on bad mental health."

Of course they'd stare at each other yearningly, as they tend to do. And Tony would make Steve visit Pepper and Morgan to 'fix the porch chair' because he didn't get around to fixing it, and it would stay on his consciousness forever, so he tries to explain to Steve how it works, because they figure out that Fake-Tony only appears to Steve in the hospital room.

And Steve is horrible at it, so Pepper has to watch the ex-situationship of her ex-husband (they'd be divorced) try to fix a chair she doesn't care about because he insists it's 'what Tony would want' and he returns and fails miserably, because Steve is many things, but not handy when it comes to woodwork. But Pepper let's him, because they are all grieving and who is she to deny Steve Rogers that.

Until Steve makes a remark about having to fix the boiler next, and Pepper would be like: ok, how tf do you know about that? Because why would Tony have talked about that during Endgame?

And Steve would stumble and now has to explain to an angry Pepper, Rhodes and Hoard of Avengers that he can talk to Tony.

To his defense he did think he was going crazy, but Pepper is right, he couldn't have known a lot of things if not from Tony.

So they call Dr. Strange to see if he can find Tony's soul, who is in the hospital rooms with them while they talk about it. And Tony watches the group shame Steve for being so in love with Tony that he can see his soul, and Steve almost dies of embarrassment, when he tells them to please stop talking because Tony is there too.

Fast forward to the ending, they are soulmates, Tony wakes up and they live happily ever after. Yay!

[nalyra-dreaming]

Hi Nalyra! I feel stupid but I have a confession... I do not know why or how Louis came to accept his vampirism as a gift like he expressed in the reunion. If Rolin really wanted the scene to be about Louis expressing contrition it seems to me it would've made more sense to have him tell Lestat he felt remorse for believing that Lestat would cross an ocean to kill him and their daughter and the decades of misery for both of them that followed because of this belief.

Louis spent 15 episodes describing horrors that would not have happened had he not been a vampire, only to tell Lestat he wants to thank him for the Dark Gift. I don't get it. It felt like they wanted to get Louis to the point where he's at peace with himself, where he owns the night, and so they had him say "I didn't know it was a gift" to connect to that point. I'm going to do a whole series rewatch soon... if you could let me know what I should be looking for when I rewatch so I can understand I would appreciate it so much! Thank you!

The Louis you see in the reunion is one who has had time to reflect on what was done to him, after he got the confirmation that his suspicions were true - after he got the actual proof with the trial script.

And it must have kicked off a cascade of feelings.

Because in-universe, Louis was led to believe, that Lestat had been there for revenge, he has been led to believe that Lestat "crossed the ocean to kill their daughter", and his mind had been edited, and meddled with, for decades.

You have to remind yourself that you HAVE been lied to in seasons 1 and 2. Both seasons are a tale, and NOT the truth.

There are instances when the truth shone through though, and I do think that the upcoming seasons will drag those moments up a bit more clearly.

IWTV is a book that was written from mourning. The show, in seasons 1 and 2, is an edited tale, aimed to describe that mourning... that pain of losing a daughter - and also to shift the blame - the anger - of more or less everything to Lestat.

Yes, the show kickstarted Louis onto his acceptance road, which in the books only happens in "Prince Lestat", but Jacob has always been very frank about what IWTV is:

Here is a snippet, from October 2023:

"But when you revisit the original story, it’s clear that Louis is somebody hugely angry with a man he loved deeply and now presents them as a monster…"

The show tried to alleviate some of the blame from (book)Louis for essentially lying about Lestat by introducing the "tinkering" Armand did, as Assad called it. Which is based on book canon mind-meddling.

But it's not all about the mind-meddling, or edited parts.

There is a very poignant moment in the books, where Louis realizes that "he has hated Lestat for all the wrong reasons".

And THAT is the crux of the matter.

And it is no coincidence that this realization has not been shown yet. It is no coincidence that the reunion they chose is the book-canonically contested one.

Louis put a lot of blame on Lestat, for things that Lestat could not change. As Jacob said, Louis hated himself, and he took it out on everybody else...

"I wanted you to suffer. Because I was... suffering."

... and his canon trait of withholding (that the writers picked up for him) as a means of control damaged his relationship with Lestat further - and he knows that.

"I tried to make nights awful for you."

THAT is what his speech there at the reunion is about - realization.

Allowing the good memories as well, the ones that were buried under the anger before. Allowing the love to resurface, and the realization to be glad to be alive.

The "Dark Gift" is just that - it is a dark gift. It is given, and it comes with a cost, for both parties involved, also something Louis only came to realize much later, with Madeleine, which is why he wanted to sever his connection to her immediately after.

"I didn't know it was a gift. I wore it like a curse."

Louis knows he does not need to feel remorse for believing Lestat came to cross the ocean to kill him - because that is what Armand MADE him believe.

That is why the trial script was so important - it was tangible proof.

Louis left Dubai, and we saw him in NOLA right after, but there had to be a certain time frame, a certain "finding your feet" period.

And Louis realized he liked holding his nose into the Louisiana air still.

Louis realized he liked being in NOLA still.

He realized he can even smile about the outrageous lies told about them.

He realized he likes to live still.

For decades, his life had been a shit show. At the beginning, after the first few years of "honeymoon phase" because of bitter realities, and his depression creeping in, coupled and enhanced by an eating disorder, as well as the problems with Claudia (and Lestat) then, of which we'll get a few reveals yet I would bet real money. And he took his pain out on others, including Lestat, as stated by both Jacob and show.

All of which (of course!) led to a myriad of problems with Lestat, which then came around, no doubt. But Lestat also told him that he didn't need to run that business anymore, that it wasn't a matter of money. Lestat knew turning Claudia would bring her a world of pain and lead to problems. Lestat tried to keep them safe, something which Louis even tries to dismiss in 2x02.

But there, in NOLA, seeking Lestat out on his own volition, there he allows these realization, and the good parts to surface.

And you have to realize - Louis LOVES Lestat.

And Lestat loves Louis.

In the end, this is what it boils down to.

Because ...

"[]the suit changes nothing, and again... I'm kissing Lestat on the altar."

The Louis at the NOLA reunion wants that future with Lestat still. He wants to LIVE. He is NOT over him. Nothing has really changed in their feelings, even if there might be some difficulties in the future still.

The show has given us a few rather important reveals during the trial and Daniel's reveal - and there's hints, like the hair, or missing blood on faces, or fingers that had not been taken off before, or mantle pieces which did not break, or radio speeches given twice, or train schedules which do not match the narration, or hotel rooms that could not have been looked into from that angle, or not translated outbursts, or glossed over threats on their doorsteps.

There's clues amass that the tale was not as we were told. :)

When you rewatch, I can only recommend watching for the things that do not match. There's LOTS.

Like, for example, in the very first episode...

"I saw him sitting a length away from me. Radiant."

Actually... No. He did not :)

Louis ... came to the point of contrition, awareness, thankfulness and realization at the end of 2x08 because he had to face some truths. About himself, about his time with Lestat, and about the world he lives in as a vampire, and about the other vampires living in it.

And it made him re-evaluate what he'd thought he'd known - both influenced, and not.

What did Jacob say in that video I linked above?

"My life began when I met you. And I didn't appreciate that until this moment so thank you for that."

And honestly? What better way to put it?

[solradguy]

I’m SO glad someone else thinks about Aria’s side of the story, because even though we don’t get to see a whole lot of it.

I do believe that both Fredrick and Asuka deeply cared about Aria (and I’d wager that she cared about them a lot as well). However, a part of her story is about how the men in her life refuse to respect her choices (especially Asuka, but his Achilles savior complex is a paragraph for another day) and how that leads to their collective downfalls, but it especially hurts her.

I just wish that was elaborated on more. Assuming she wasn’t just in cryosleep the entire time, I’d kill for a short story that explored what happened with her from the end of Begin to the Black Sunrise.

One of the messages that I feel you’re supposed to get from lots of her scenes is about living for the present, but there’s also a hint of “respecting other people’s choices for themselves” in their too. I might be reading too much into things, but I think people don’t pay attention to that enough, so I hope your post reaches more of them.

No, I think you're right about the recurring message with Aria's themes being personal autonomy. A lot of her dialog supports that, especially during the scene where she argues with Frederick after he learns about her terminal TP infection diagnosis:

Like you said, this world is where I belong. I'm the hero of my own story, so you're not allowed to tell me what to do.

And this longer line in particular:

..I don't have any family, and I was always kind of a bookworm. It's not like I enjoyed studying, I was just desperate not to be left behind... I thought that if I kept to myself and didn't trust anyone, then I couldn't ever be hurt. But that made my world cold, small, and dark. I never felt alive there... I didn't even have any friends until I went to college. Can you believe that? But them I met you, and [Asuka]... I even fell in love! For the first time in my life, I found something I wanted to care about. I was happy...

This line feels extremely important. She was entirely alone until she met Fred and Asuka, and when she did, she finally found herself and what she wanted to do and what she wanted to be. Aria realized that she didn't need to be alone and she didn't need to be a people pleaser either ("It's not like I enjoyed studying, I was just desperate not to be left behind."). She discovered that she was capable of making her own choices.

For the most part, it seems like Fred and Asuka both supported her until near the end when they both tried to tell her what to do in order to protect their own feelings ("Don't be so selfish. Try and listen to someone else, for once." -- Aria to Fred) instead of respect what she felt was right for herself. Frederick wanted her to go into cryostasis until a cure was found for her disease and Asuka straight up forced her too, and then later forced her to blow up Japan (which is incredibly complex and I'm just going to gloss over that because that's a huge other thing). She didn't want any of that; she wanted to die as she was BECAUSE it was her choice to do so. She knew what was going to happen and she wanted to live her last days as much as she could surrounded by the people she loved until it ended.

In a lot of ways I think her story mirrors Sol's, but there are things about her story that they haven't revealed yet. It's possible Asuka simply convinced her to give cryostasis a chance and that she wasn't forced into it. With how adamant she was against it in her argument with Fred though I'm not very sure....

I want to know so badly how much she knew about the Gear cell research being diverted into WMDs and how that weighed on her. Did she know that Asuka was going to betray Frederick later? I wonder if maybe she agreed to the cryostasis and later being turned into a Gear herself (she was in control as Justice before the Black Sunrise broke her mind—did she accept the Scales of Juno to keep it out of the wrong hands?) in order to stay close to the research project and try her best to keep the damage under control. I think that's ultimately why Asuka betrayed Fred, so he could stay close to the Gear project in order to keep things from getting way worse than they ended up. The Black Sunrise saved all of humanity, after all. At the cost of Aria.

I was telling a friend in PMs that I hope some day we get a scene with Jack-O' and Ramlethal or Elphelt where they talk about their weird relationship with each other and we get a nice Aria flashback thing that DOESN'T revolve entirely around Frederick/Sol or Asuka. We know so little about Aria as a person outside of her relationship with them or through a lens that isn't a Sol flashback sequence...

[dogcircle-scans]

I'm really curious to know if you have officially dropped the manga. If so (and even if not obvs), I'd just like to thank you for so many amazing years of awesome translations. This manga may not be very popular in the west but I'm glad you kept bringing it for so many of us

Hey, sorry for just now seeing this even though this question was sent back in late November.

No, we haven't officially dropped the manga, and Idk if any group has picked up the series while I was gone. Emphasis on the "I" because our absence was not a consenting choice made by anyone else in this group. So if anyone harbors any kind of resentment, then do not direct it towards anyone but me. If we ever decide to officially drop the series, I'll make an official announcement on this blog. To be honest, I wasn't really gonna make much hubbub about a comeback and just post a chapter as if no time had passed. But, because I got this question and you were very nice about it. I'll give some insight.

- 🦙

The only reason I'm an active part of this fandom (any fandom now really) despite it being against my lurker nature and excessive anxiety issues is because I was encouraged to do so by a friend. If you know me from Discord, then you probably know that aside from running this blog, I'm leader of the scan group and owner of its server, I'm even an admin for the Natsume fan server which is its own separate thing.

I don't know if that sounds already sounds overwhelming, but just to scare you, I also proofread the scripts so the dialogue sounds natural and act as quality checker for each chapter. This means cleaning/redrawing sections of pages if the CLDR forgot or didn't meet the standard of quality I'm looking for. Similar with typesetting, I'll rearrange the text if I feel it could be done better. I'm also the main SFX person. When it comes to the scan server, outside of running and maintaining it, I also act as mod to make sure people aren't posting anything inappropriate or inoffensive + setting up bots and permissions.

When I was in High School and even during my early years of college, I could manage it cause I had the support and energy for it. Plus, my love for Natsume was scary intense. So when life got hard, I found that working on scans acted as a lifeline.

Then I had a messy fallout with the friend who prompted all of this, and things shifted. It didn't help that things in my personal life got really bad and more or less stayed that way for 2/3 years. And because of the association, and the guilt of falling behind, working on Natsume was no longer a stress-relieving activity. It became the source of my stress. I ran away because I was scared and overwhelmed. It wasn't healthy and it only made things worse, honestly.

But, I've been really hard on myself over this past year, and I finally reached the point of wanting to come back, but the guilt from being a deadbeat was still eating me alive. Then I got really sick at the start of this month, and I'm no lie, I'm still sick... but that gave me a lot of time to think and reevaluate all kinds of things. Because honestly? I miss working on scans and the collaborative aspect that I fell in love with because of Natsume.

And literally just this past Saturday/Sunday night, I sent a message to the group, apologizing for what I did and provided a similar explanation of why I did what I did. I trying it as just an explanation and not an excuse - I hope I was able to do that here too.

I told my group to give me several days before I actually start working on scans again, though, because it'll allow me to catch up with everything and figure out what needs to be done next, and it'll also give me more time to recover.

Thank you once again for being kind and understanding! I really appreciate it 🥹💚

[zenithofstories]

so i've just finished watching all the first episodes, so i wanted to give my thoughts on the first Wild Life session:

-so much fun i love it so much. i'm so glad they're all still having fun and continuing the series, and that Mumbo and Lizzie came back, despite dying early in Secret Life (i was a tiny bit worried they might get a bit dejected and pass on this one). also thrilled Ren is able to play this time; he's a blast

-there is a lot of mistrust going around which is very curious to me. most of it stems from previous seasons and has no bearing on what was happening at the time. Pearl straight up telling Cleo she expected her to betray her; Mumbo and Skizz not trusting Martyn, and then Grian; and then not trusting that Martyn just wanted to use their enchanter; the huge immediate aggression towards Scar when he came out of the mountain into Grian, Skizz and Mumbo's base; Mumbo not trusting Skizz (his teammate!) when he asked for someone to pass him a diamond; Scott, Cleo, Pearl and Impulse assuming Joel stole their cows, probably more i'm forgetting. it's definitely obvious to me that these people have learnt how the games work and learnt from the pain (as we do). i'm very curious to see if the general server mistrust grows, and the impact it has on everyone and the people

-i love JImmy, Big B, Lizzie and Ren forming a dnd party and Ren (in true bardic fashion) has a guitar within reach and is willing to break into song at the first campsite (this honestly might be my favourite moment from all the life series at the moment. the guitar within reach, Ren's beautiful voice, how much the others thought it was great. fantastic vibes all around)

-i really want Scar and Martyn to team up. they are both instantly mistrusted, to the point that both of them (in their first episodes, no less) expressed that if people are going to treat them like a villain, then they may as well act like it. if the two of them team up to take revenge on everyone being mean to them in a new series i think they would be a force to be reckoned with

-Skizz and Mumbo is a fantastic team-up. both very genuine people who are so funny together

-i hope they get the lag fixed, or that it was just from the size-changing mod and they don't have to deal with it for the rest of the series

-Gem and Joel's partnership - in the early days Gem is going to be a fantastic counterbalance for Joel; help keep him calmer and curb his wild ideas. But once Gem gives in to her own urges... oh boy

-does Big B know that he can go caving with people? cause he seemed to be under the impression that he had to get geared out before he could make friends and it would suck if he ended up alone all the time because it hasn't occurred to him that he can go caving with people right at the start

-double life thought: i know most people count Pearl as the winner, but did Scott technically win as well? cause they were the last pair alive, and died in the same tick. it probably doesn't matter at all, but i wonder about it sometimes (especially in how it would affect Martyn's lore but that's not canon)

-i don't think Jimmy has broken the canary curse. i subscribe to the theory that cause Lizzie died in the End, the Watchers weren't able to perceive it and then he was the first to die in the Overworld (i'm not counting Real Life as canon; it happened and i enjoyed it but it wasn't a full series and they were deliberately playing it silly as an april fool's joke. very glad that Cleo won though. hope they get a full series win as well)

-i'm glad that Tango and Skizz (deliberately) didn't team together, but i kinda wish Tango had ended up in a different group. him, Etho and Bdubs are fun, don't get me wrong, but a whole lot of the fun of the series is seeing people interact and work with people they don't usually. Tango and Jimmy was a top tier pairing in Double Life, and Tango is hilarious. i would love to see him branch out more and work with some more people

-there is more than just the wild card. Grian said he wasn't going to explain it, and i didn't notice anything else happening (but i'm also not expecting it to be much until they get to the late game). i think that there will be a wild card that affects the players, and then also something that affects the world? we'll see, i guess

-now that everyone who has played is playing (i'm pretty sure? if i've forgotten someone i'm gonna be sad) who is gonna sub in if needed?

-i love Mumbo's "that was sub-one intelligence mate" when they all fell 🤣

-i'm not sure what the purpose of including the creakings or whatever they're called? nevermind i just looked it up and they're going to be in the game at some point. weird. i'm not sure how i feel about creakings coming to minecraft though

-very glad they've got six lives this time. it will both allow them to not worry so much about mistakes and accidents (as evidenced by Pearl) and encourage them to take risks, which will be fantastic

[lemotmo]

I still hate it. I get it from a business standpoint and this makes perfect sense. But he's dad and I'm devastated.

Q. He just signed the death certificate of his own show.

A. I'm going to preface this entire reply by saying I don't think he's really dead but I'm going to answer this way too dramatic ask from a pragmatic standpoint. So for the sake of this reply he is dead. AGAIN I DO NOT REALLY THINK HE'S DEAD BUT SOME OF THESE TAKES ARE INSANELY OVER DRAMATIC SO IM GOING TO REPLY TO THIS AS IF HE IS TRULY DEAD.

Instant reaction being raw and angry is understandable and relatable but the argument that no television show has ever done anything like this and survived is a frankly absurd argument. This is not new for television. It's definitely not new for ABC. In fact if he is truly dead I believe it was an ABC decision and not a Tim decision. There is a legitimate argument to me made for the long term benefit of killing a character like this off. Lots of shows that have run as long as 911 has need a reset at some point. This is an insanely expensive show to make. It will be going into its 3rd season on a new network which means there were probably several cast members who were due for new contracts and given the show's current status on the network those new contracts most likely came with pay increases. If you're a suit in the financial position at ABC it makes sense that something would need to give. Angela and Peter are the two most expensive cast members. And if the choice was between Peter Krause and Angela Bassett you're keeping the movie star every time. That's business. We can all hate it but it is.

As for the people yelling at me that I willed his death into existence by saying he was overused, I cannot help you. There is a drastic difference in saying a character desperately needs a rest and killing the character off. If you don't understand that, I don't know what to tell you. Tommy did not serve any kind of major role in this event. Stop that now. He is a helicopter pilot. They brought him in to fly a helicopter as a distraction, which is what his character was for his entire run of this plot, hello! and to allow Buck to verbally state the EX part out loud. I do think we will get a scene between him and Eddie next week, which I still think was the real reason he was brought back in the first place. Being pissed off at him getting a reaction to the death over Eddie is legitimate, understandable rage. That was inexcusable on every level. And I'm glad even the media is pointing that out. For one the man cannot act. He is incapable of emoting and looked constipated more than anything else. It was bad all the way around. The other problem was it was legitimately not a great episode in general. The plot was absurd with even the slightest bit of critical thinking applied. But moving characters and plotlines along with the use of grief is a media staple. That is common practice so people acting like the show basically has to start over from scratch because Bobby died is ridiculous. I cried hard last night. The dialogue was moving and did its job but the plot overall was absurd and does not feel real in any way. In conclusion I don't think it's real BUT if it is there are legitimate arguments to me made for doing it. We don't have to like it but that doesn't make them less true. I do think hell be alive and back by the season finale though. 🩷🩷

Thank you Nonny!

All right, this is the last ask I'm answering tonight. I'm tired and I need a break. 🥱

I thought this one was fitting to end on for today. 😋

I still hate how they went about this and I'm also still very much in camp 'HE ISN'T DEAD', but yeah... if he is we will have to deal with it in some way.🤷‍♀️ It'll hurt, but I'll get passed it because I still love this show too much to give up on it. ❤️

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[starrycassi]

Okay, I'm actually obsessed with your 'jayvik works for silko au'. I like that Viktor is the face of their work, the confident one that everyone knows (and fears, as they should). Also, I imagine Jayce like he looked in THAT council room scene in e8s2 (he looks SO hot in those dark clothes and the beard, damn (and I'm ace so that's saying something, lol)). Just slightly longer hair maybe.

I think Jayce would be in denial for a few years about the true situation he's in, regarding not just Viktor and their power dynamics, but their work and Silko and the situation in Zaun in general. But then he would have a epiphany about it and then slowly realizes stuff and accepts it surprising well. By the end of the time skip he's completely on board with what he's doing (though in the same way Viktor is, and the two conspire together).

You said we can ask for more of the au so, if I may maybe request a tender moment between the two? Like their love confession or them getting together. Just Viktor being vournelable with Jayce and it's the firs time ever he is with someone since like really early childhood. And he's freaking out internally about it but just wants to so badly.

Or the scene where Vi and Cait meet them (mainly Jayce) post timeskip (does it happen the same time Vi and Jinx meet for the fist time? Or is it different). I just kind of want to see Caits reaction to Jayce being alive and the whole, he's working for the kingpin, making weapons and is married to an infamous henchman/silkos inventor/the Herald/whatever Viktor is. I think it would be hilarious.

What's your Ao3? Would you consider posting this au there?

First of: I'm SO glad people like this au because it's been on my mind ever since the show barely came out!! This + crow queen + the meadow au are the very first ones I developed for Arcane and I've been slowly going insane over them. Hehehe. I do have to preface this by saying: when originally created, it was done with *League* lore in mind. I've had to tweak and adjust things for them to make sense with some of the newer backstory + revelations. Which is one of the main reasons as to why I've only posted it as ideas/snippets. I don't even want to get into the logistics of how Piltover would evolve without the hexgates (since their creators are buried deep in the underground and refuse to work with anyone in the council) or what the presence of not only one, but now *two* apparent heirs for Silco could entail. It's a very nice idea that I love, but it's nowhere near as fleshed out as it needs to be for me to write a fic :((

One of the main reasons I enjoy it is the subversion of their power dynamic! In this one, is Viktor who has to step out and defend Jayce when needed (there's actually a scene very similar to the last EP of S1, where Viktor has to cement Jayce's standing as his *partner* (meaning, equal, so please stop trying to kill him or undermining him) in front of Zaun's chembarons. Though Jayce eventually ends up earning his own name and reputation! I've actually got a small scene for that in the works, but basically people's perspective of him goes: that's herald's new boytoy (is he going to last?) > that's herald's new lap dog (is he trying to steal sevika's spot?) > He is to Viktor what Sevika is to Silco + they fuck > that's herald's new apprentice (is he good enough for the title) to, finally > He Defender (or smth idk not quite sure of his Zaun Tittle yet), Herald's partner, Jinx's second favorite. Jayce has to fight tooth and nail for his spot at Silco's chain of command, but once he has it no one dares question him. People fear provoking them both because of The Herald's vindictive vein as much as they are terrified of The Defender's (I'm between that and warden really) senseless rage. However, Zaunites do start going to Jayce for help, since he is the kinder and more approachable out of the bunch. Silco lets Jayce run around fixing houses and "playing hero" because it's actually gaining them a lot of sympathy and making more people slowly rally behind his ideals.

I've also given silco a bit more of a political incline. There is a draft of Jayce and Viktor convincing Silco to start a small public school, but it's still a "maybe", since there's the whole child labor aspect and allat.

And, yeah. Jayce is completely in denial for almost a year. He's lost everything he's ever known, was faced with the crude reality that piltover will, can and has turned its back against one of their own. He's bitter and humiliated, after all, Jayce does have a bit of an ego in the og show and everything that transcends here hurts him. Also, Viktor and Silco are both spewing shit about Piltover in his ear every single day (not without reason lol). But you are generally right with that analysis!! When he does have the final breakdown, he bounces back fast as hell. He becomes really codependent with Viktor and Jinx in those times, then gets better and better at accepting the cards he's been dealt.

I'm still debating about the plot point of Viktor and Jayce conspiring to take over Silco's place and *actually* do something for Zaun. In this au we would have: them trying to win over Sevika, secretive plotting, them do their best to properly mold Jinx so she will eventually rebel (or, in case Silco is taken out by that point, she can step in and allow them a place at her side)

Also I'm SO glad S2 gave me a proper image for visualizing Zaunite Jayce. I was screaming at my computer when I realized that all my dreams had been answered. I'm debating giving him streaks of color or something. Idk yet.

I WILL write that as soon as I'm out of finals lol. I also have one of Viktor's efforts to convince everyone of Jayce being treated as his equal and the way they meet. It's all a bit convoluted.

Some things I'm not quite if I should change yet;

Originally, Singed cut off Viktor's leg and gave him a prosthetic, framing this as "getting rid of the bad parts". This would eventually evolve into the whole cyborg-viktor we see in the games. There was also a very homoerotic situation where he got Jayce to cut off his hand when the wrist stopped answering properly. Idk sorry I've a lot of weird kinks in store for them.

This also meant Viktor giving Jayce modifications. One thing that im definitely keeping is that he gives Jayce sharper canines + possibly adds a "venom" mechanism so he can better defend himself. They experiment on each other as a way to show love okay. Also Jayce gets a piercing. Idk where how or why but I need this man pierced. Maybe him and Viktor get matching ones like Alternate Ekko and Alternate Powder. Gold and Silver little bands. Why not.

There was a whole thing about Viktor just kinda going ham and trying to add body mods to their already shimmered soldiers.

Et cetera

Edit: I want to clarify that I understand that sevika is loyal to ideas, not people. She is loyal to Silco because he is the best bet they have at the moment, and then to Jinx for the same reason (yes she definitely cares for jinx but u get the idea). Still, they would have to work REALLY hard to convince this woman to put her life on the line to betray the biggest mob boss around. She does stand by them and their ideas a lot of times, wanting Zaun's betterment as much as they do.

[vegaly-art]

Spoilers for What was and what is, and Fooliverse.

(We will be back to regularly scheduled art after this short Redacted Audios intermission.)

Hello Redacted fandom, good to be back for a blip. And I am back to discuss Vega, as is my M.O. Now, before we start, I would like to add that I am also reworking my Vega masterpost as of now, to be more tonally consistent, and more accurate to the current state of the lore. I am unsure if I will repost it in its entirety or just edit the original post, as the changes are rather substantial. You are free to provide your own thoughts on that matter.

But now, without further adieu, I present my thoughts on Vega with what new information we now have recently received.

So, starting with Fooliverse Vega... it is so nice to me to see Vega so relaxed and... alive, for lack of better term. In the Fooliverse, it appears to me that the Sovereign situation may have resolved much differently. I would hazard to guess, without much evidence, that the Meridian may have already been bolstered, potentially a long time ago. Whether at the end of the Cacophony or in the millennia after. But regardless... it was early enough that Vega appears to have been able to let himself go. He did not have the pressure to remember, to retain strength and knowledge, and he could permit himself to live, to "die", and to change. He allowed himself to remain close to humans, but not because there were few to no Daemons around, but instead of his own nature, and of his own love for them. He could form an opinion of them based not just on what he fed on, but also on what people were in spite of and without the sadism he needed. He has a phone, and keeps up with modern tech, he has a seemingly positive relationship with both his kin, and humanity, and though based on the effects on his voice he still primarily talks telepathically, he may take on more human characteristics. Almost certainly he has a fully human disguise for covert and such.

In short... I really appreciate that side of him we see there. He is still old and wise, still someone who has seen humanity at their worst, and daemonkind also. But he is not burdened by the past, or by any obligation outside of those he gives himself. And for him now, his biggest obligation is helping humans with their emotions, and seemingly having a bit of fun and living life to the fullest. Even if humans are temporary, he clearly values them greatly... perhaps he can find someone like him who can last forever eventually, but still, humanity is a good fit for him. Just as with Imperium. Their fragility and short life compared to him are integral parts of the draw he has to them, and something which prime Vega... could not afford.

And with that topic, I would like to switch to the newest video, and discuss some fun thoughts I had about it. Because it is honestly... quite beautiful the way that his story is treated right now, as much as it is tragic. And now with 2 AUs under my belt to analyse, I feel like I can understand him even better than before.

In the newest video, Vega talks a lot about history. About the sovereigns, and their selfishness, cruelty, and flaws. And this is a given, and a particularly interesting element. I'm very glad that my theory of E'Laetum's hatred for Vega potentially causing events to play out as they did was confirmed in part. Vega only theorises that E'Laetum's memories were imprinted on Hush, but I think it is a very reasonable assumption. That hatred ended up playing out, though the irony is not lost on me that E'Laetum's most hated demon is also probably the single most important part of his plan. I would argue moreso than Hush, and moreso than Blake. Those two are deeply important, yes, but there could be other seers, and even still, without the direction of Vega, the plan as they gave Hush instruction to execute it would likely have had severe long term consequences that they would not have been as able to stop, having another Sovereign to contend with their power in the Meridian.

But what really got me, was when it came to the discussion of memory. Vega mentioning that his memories were surprisingly pristine was a punch to the gut. A show that his hard work was well worth it, but at the same time, is a cruelly sad thing. He believed he had lost many memories, and left many iterations of himself behind in his long life... but he wished he could have left behind more. And now, he both has left behind more, but also clearly showed he left little. It was simply, as he put it, buried so deeply under the weight of millennia that he could not access it. This could also mean some daemons may have the capacity to remember as well, if they experienced a similar clearing of the mind, but likely this would not happen. Nor would it be good to necessarily.

And related to this are other elements of that same topic that Vega discusses. He doesn't know if he wants his memories back... which is fair. He knows clearly that based on them he became a cruel monster, and yet they also hid from him the worst of his traumas that he must now relive in full. And yet also they must have been filled with infinitely more little traumas to have put him off humanity so, and even put him off most of daemon kind, until he saw in Warden a malleable youth he could maybe bring to his side... and then eventually, close to a genuine equal who he cared about, wished to protect, and put above himself, and his mission. Who he knew could not follow in his stead, and who he did not wish to. Who he wished to simply live out what time they had comfortably, without the shadow he cast... he lost so much. For better, and unfortunately for worse. At least as far as Warden is concerned.

And clearly, Warden has taken this roughly. They try to stay strong, stay curious, ask questions and provide answers. But it's very clear that they felt something for Vega. It was clear Vega felt something for them too. I personally see it as queerplatonic or otherwise much different to romantic but of equal depth, but the reading is unimportant. All that is important is that Warden's feelings for Vega were clearly extremely deep, and now they clearly feel conflicted and pained by them. When Vega asks what they were, Warden can only say they were "complicated". When Vega, in this video, asks what made Warden stay, they respond so negatively he backs off the topic... and at the end, his monologue clearly portrays that he can see, feel, taste how Warden must feel. The heartbreak, the fear, the grief. And so he reminds them that the piece of him that made them stay, (that they loved, in whatever way that love presented) was still inside him, and had the capacity to return to him. Just as the parts that they found disquieting. And he asked them to make sure he could be the best him he could by being his check and balance in case he went down unsavoury paths again. It is so intimate and so deeply sad.

Warden has lost a person they cared for more than most anyone, and yet they lost nothing. He remained, better than he was, and still just as dedicated even if he had a harder time with remembering his exact plans, or finding in himself that same dedication that he once had to keep his memories around. He does not call them Warden, or Darling, only Inchoate, and yet he says it with such unique gentleness. He is not so teasing and playful, but he is still so affectionate, but it's different. It's just so different. And they have to find it in themself to accept what he has become, while maybe still hoping that somewhere out there, somehow, he could get back even a fraction of what they had. But that specifically is my interpretation. A Warden both selfless enough to help Vega with all they can, and continue to put aside their life to save the world with him, while also being painfully selfish, wanting back what they once had knowing full well that Vega would suffer for it... but he also suffers from how he is now. He suffers from just being alive and bearing the weight of the world, that he of course would be one to do... it's in his nature, not as a daemon, but as a person. He bears so much on his shoulders because he is strong enough, and Warden can do nothing but support him and hope it's enough, and hope that maybe, someday, things can go back to normal again.

To calm again. That they can be equals again. That Warden does not have to bear the burden so much, and neither does he... but they cannot bring that up now. Or maybe any time soon... because the mission takes priority. And I have a feeling if their relationship is to progress, it likely would much closer to the big final encounter... or perhaps instead after the dust settles, and they are finally free. But I know they will discuss it much sooner. And perhaps things will shift then too, I can be mistaken. We will have to see... and I am so excited to see where their story goes.

I love Vega and Warden with all my heart, whatever comes of them. Though I do hope they can both survive and remain together. That would be nice. I know not all stories deserve or are satisfying with happy endings. But I'd like this one to have one.

[tothosewholisten]

Forever Healed | TUA insert

Chapter: 09

<<previous chapter | next chapter>>

Masterlist

…

I went downstairs to see two of my estranged roommates, Allison and Luther with somber looks on their faces. I was about to speak up but stopped once I saw who they were looking at. It was Grace, who no longer moved or sang or comforted us.

She was dead, and I know robots aren’t alive but this felt like another death I'd have to witness.

“The two guys last night, the ones with the mask, did this to her,” Allison said to Luther. The two didn't look up to see me, both were in their heads at the death of their mother.

Grace was sitting in the painting room chair, the space we kids dubbed as her bedroom because she didn’t sleep or have one of her own. The only thing that was missing from her was her signature smile and her normal pale arm. Instead, her arm was sliced open by what looked like a knife and oozed out wires of all different colors.

I don’t remember the two gunmen carrying knives last night but who knows they could've gotten crafty. But It's sad to think If she was a real person, I would’ve been able to save her.

I made my presence known by stomping my shoe and moving closer to the pair. Allison's eyes slightly lit up once she saw me. “You’re okay!” She sighed happily.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” I giggled with my arms open as she ran over to embrace me. Luther did not move from Grace's body though, his face was cold and distant. I didn't want to ask but I started to think, what happened last night?

“Oh god, have you seen Mom yet?” She whispered. “This has to do with Five somehow. I mean they were looking for him..”

I frowned. “I haven't seen him or Klaus in some time now and I'm starting to get nervous.”

Allison reassures me that they'll turn up but she turns back to Luther who has something to say. “I know I was arguing to turn Grace off, but it doesn't make seeing her like this any easier.”

“Poor Diego.” I blurt out. “This is gonna be so hard for him.” I couldn’t see eye to eye with him, like ever. But I did see him a bit differently after yesterday.

“Yeah, it's hard on all of us.” He says while walking out of Grace's room.

“Hey, wait,” I called out to Luther before he left. The giant man turns to look at me, uncertainly. “I know it was you last night, the one who saved me. I just want to say thank you for pulling that guy away from me.”

“You’ve saved me in my lifetime more times than I can count. I can tell something is off about you guys today and I don’t think I was awake to hear it but. I just wanted to say thanks.” I smile at him.

“But anyways you guys should talk. I'm going to go look for Klaus.” I shoot Allison one more goodbye before heading out.

“I'm glad you're okay, Y/n” I hear one of them mutter as I leave.

..

“Klaus?” I yell all around the mansion. By now I've checked all his normal spots. His room, my room, Ben’s room, the kitchen, Reginald’s bar, all the bathrooms and all the random nooks and crannies we'd hide in as children with Ben.

Ben.. to think I've been so preoccupied these past days to think about him. And I think about him all the time. He'd know where Klaus was instantly, he was just that type of person.

I go back upstairs to my room to change before heading outside. To check Klaus's frequent spots around town.

First, the alley where he'd buy drugs and all kinds of things. It was dingy and dark but I'd find him here a lot back when I was younger. I left the mansion but never left him. Even let him crash with me at my ex's house whenever he needed to, which my ex was never happy about. We found happiness in walking the streets and laughing with each other till sunrise.

But it wasn't always good, sometimes I'd catch him in a rough spot due to drugs and he'd push me away. I never stopped trying, I would never give up on him and he wouldn't if i was in his spot.

Next was my actual apartment. I hadn't been back in forever, maybe he got tired of the academy and came here? But my apartment was small and didn't have many places for him to hide, it was clear he wasn't there either.

The last place I could think of was a park we used to go to as kids. There'd be days when Reginald was less diligent about watching us, and after dark all of us kids would escape to come here. And have at least a few hours of solace before returning to hell.

I took a seat against a large tree that blocked the sunlight from shining in the park. He wasn't anywhere I'd known he would be. I thought he wouldn't leave town without telling me, but I'm not even sure. I let out small huffs of frustration as I buried my head in my hands.

Suddenly there were more tears on my head than there were in my eyes. I sniffle while looking up. The once-cloudy sky has turned into pouring rain and I'm outside without an umbrella.

..

14 YEARS AGO

“Are we ready to go?” Asked Klaus.

The three of us, Klaus, Ben and I decided we were leaving for the park. After a particularly hard day and mission, it was clear I needed out. Ben asked everyone if they wanted to go, but they all looked at each other then us and snickered.

They told us we should go just the two of us. We actually were about to leave, but Klaus was the only one stupid enough to join us. Just kidding.

The sky was clear this day but dark, meaning it was a clear indication that it was time. Diego and Allison told us they'd distract Reginald if he asked anything. We knew we couldn't go out the front door, instead we went out my window.

Klaus was the first one to jump down; he insisted that he was the bravest out of all of us. And Ben slowly followed after him.

That left me in the window, looking down at the very tall jump I'd have to land. I shook my head at the two. “Why couldn't we have left down Five's window? There are actual steps there!” I whisper yell.

Klaus chuckles. “We're already here, just jump!”

I know when jumping from a high distance without a cushion landing spot, it would help if you didn't look down. But my eyes were glued to the ground anyway. I would be fine if I jumped, any scars would go away but just the thought of it made me shake.

“Unless you're a chicken! That's okay, me and Benny will go without you.” He yells.

“Keep your voice down,” Ben says, elbowing him in the stomach. “Ow!” Klaus cries. Ben looks up at me. “But he's got the right idea! You'll be okay just jump.” He says stuffing his hands in his black jacket.

“Just go without me! I'll go to bed.” I reply, trying to smile at the pair.

“Y/n, listen to me. You'll be okay, jump and..” I didn't hear the last part of what he said.

“What??!” I yell.

“He said he's gonna catch you!” Klaus snickers. “Shut up Klaus,” Ben whispers back. “I will though, if I have to!”

I sigh not wanting to ruin their fun, I'm the one who wanted to go out anyway. “Okay, I'll jump.”

I take a small running start before leaping out of my large window. The wind in my hair felt great, it made me feel like I was almost flying. Until I looked down at the floor I was about to land on. I closed my eyes as I was about to scream and go head-first into the ground. But as I opened my eyes I saw that the cement never smacked me in the face. Instead, I land on someone else.

Ben tried his best but he is still a boy. He held his arms open but it ended with him knocking into the cement and me gripping onto his black hoodie for dear life. I quickly get off him and pull him to his feet as Klaus hollers in laughter at us.

Once he got up I could tell that Ben's head looked a little bruised as well as his hands. I placed my hands on his and watched as yellow wisps of light reached all of his bruises. "Thanks." He smiled and I nodded back. I stopped holding his hands when I heard Klaus almost falling back in laughter.

"You guys-" I cut him off before he embarrasses me by kicking him in the shins with all my might. "Not another word," I mutter.

He held onto his legs and whimpered in pain, now it was our turn to laugh at him on the way to the park. I did eventually heal him that day but seeing him embarrassed was too funny to see go away. We did this several more times, just the three of us. And honestly, it was probably more fun than the whole group.

..

PRESENT DAY

I laugh underneath the now suddenly wilting tree at the thought, but it slowly turns into sobs. I don't have Ben anymore but I've somewhat come to understand that, but now I lost Klaus too. And Vanya is gone, I'm truly all alone. I sit there for what I think is hours, thinking back. Until the constant pour turns into drizzling and I stand up to go back to the academy. Maybe take a bath.

I slowly made it to a crosswalk so lost in thought that I didn't even see that it said I can go. But I am brought back to reality by the sound of a honking car. Some dick in a van was honking his horn at me?

What I did to piss this guy off I do not know, this was above even a catcall. He was demanding I move. Deciding to ignore the shithead I start to cross the road, until he almost runs me over.

“There's a crosswalk sign, do you see that?” I yell at the van. But the ugly vehicle would not stop honking at me, after being soaked in the rain I'm starting to lose my sanity. So I walked over to the van, thinking I was going to lay into this man and give him all the rage I'd been feeling. And maybe kick his car a few times.

I look at the man's window to see it's not a man at all. It's a boy? I know this shithead. “Five? Why are you honking at me!” I scream at the pubescent boy.

“Get in.” He yells back.

..

The two of us sat in silence for a while. I watched this fake teenager drive around and honk at people who were being stupid like a full-grown adult.

“Why are you here?” I ask, feeling uncomfortable in my wet clothes. “I'm looking for someone, I saw you walking.” He mutters.

“Oh okay..” I pause.

“I was calling your name before I started honking at you. You should really look where you're going.”

“I was fine. Aren't you the one who tried to run me over?”

“...”

“I have a question. Where'd you steal this van?”

“I didn't steal it, I borrowed it from a man in an alley.” he insisted. “Very likely story Five,” I remark back.

“I'm going to give it back. whenever I'm done with it.

“Okay new question, how do you know how to drive?”

“I can do everything.”

I scoff. “Yeah okay.”

“Well, I have a question for you. Why are you walking alone without an umbrella?”

“Just for shits and giggles, I'm looking for Klaus, have you seen him?”

“Can't say that I have. Where do you want me to drop you off?” He says while taking a familiar path that will lead us back to the academy.

I turn to look at him with my eyebrows furrowed. “Can't I stay? Join you on your spy missions?” Five looks at me, clearly not keeping his eyes on the road. Almost in shock about me wanting to stay with him. To break the silence I force a cough. “I mean I don't know what else to do right now. I can leave If I'm cramping your style.”

“Okay” is all he says while turning in the opposite direction from the mansion. “Well, that means we are going to find someone.”

“Who?” I ask.

“You'll see,” Five tells me.

Five parked us in another familiar part of town, where Klaus, him and I were not even a day or two ago. “Oh no, Five we're gonna terrorize these people again?” I said while looking around.

“No, we're just going after the main man. I need more answers.” Five peers out the side window to look at a different busy street.

“You really think he's going to give you more information if you just barge into his office again?”

He turns back to me. “We're not going in, we're going to him.”

“Oh my god..”

Five explains that he plans to corner the man in his own car after he comes back from whatever hobby he does while out of the office. I try to tell him that this plan is going to go wrong but of course he doesn't listen. He reached into his glove compartment and grabbed a small pocket knife, and I'm sure he didn't just grab it to look cool.

“You told me you're going to ask for more information, Five,” I questioned while reaching for the knife.

He grabs the weapon back and holds it higher in the air. “Let's see where the night takes us.”

..

Five blinks him and I next to a tree, like the one I was at earlier. The tree faces a blue car that must've belonged to the guy whose name slipped my mind.

Not long after he walks toward us, with a tiny puppy in hand. He looked almost unrecognizable out of his lab coat, but not in a good way. His clothes reminded me of a jogging outfit they also matched his blue car.

He opens the car and places his puppy into the back seat then he starts to get into the car himself. Before he can sit down Five pulls me with him when he blinks into the car. Sitting me down in the backseat with the puppy who surprisingly is not barking at me yet.

Five blinks into the front seat, but the man doesn't even notice him. Only flinching back when Five lunges at him with his pocket knife.

“Oh, Jesus!” He cries out. Five doesn't even give him another moment to think before going straight into grilling. “One chance. That's all you got. One chance to tell me exactly what's going on in that lab.” He yells, putting the knife up to the man's throat.

So much for the peaceful approach. The man moves his eyes towards me for a split second and then back to the terrifying Five. “I… I manufacture prosthetic devices for fake patients. I bill the insurance companies and then sell them for cash on the black market.” He stutters.

“including eyeballs?” Five asked.

The man gulps. “Yeah, they're my biggest seller. I mean they sell like hotcakes. I--I've got a list, a waiting list, probably twenty buyers.”

“So the serial number, my uh, brother gave you..” He finishes my sentence. “Could've already been bought. Yes, off– off the books.” He says.

Five huffs like he's a chain smoker and starts to get more tense, letting the knife get centimeters away from the man's skin.

“I needed that list, Lance. Names and numbers, and I need it now!” Five screeches.

I take my eyes off them to turn to the dog that's nearing closer to me. At first, I tried to keep my distance but this puppy insisted on getting close. Which shouldn't be a big problem. It's a small dog, but something was off. I'm squeezing myself practically against the door to get away from this dog but he keeps getting closer. I close my eyes and I'm back to that day so many years ago.

I'm not there anymore, it's time for me to move on but I can't. My hands start to shake and my body runs cold. I couldn't help but think that this dog knew what I did to the other, way back when and wanted to take revenge.

While taking deep breaths I turned my head slowly to get a better look at the pup.. this dog wasn't going to hurt me, it didn't know what I did, and I was okay. So why do I feel like this?

“I don't have it. I mean, not on me. The only copy is in my safe at the lab.” Lance's words break my deep breaths and I try once again to focus on their conversation. This is for Five, as well as saving the world. Letting my depressing nature go is what I need to do now.

“Well, you start the car, then.” Five whispers. “Cause we're going on a field trip.” He slowly takes the knife off Lance's throat.

“O-Okay...” Lance tries to put himself back together at least enough to put his seatbelt on.

“Now.”

“Okay..”

..

Lance drives us back to the MeriTech headquarters which is also where Five’s van is. I'm the first to hop out of the car with Five and Lance a few steps behind me.

But I stopped in place once I saw dark smoke coming from the building. “Something’s wrong,” I told five. But he never stopped walking, and without a second thought, he rushed over to the fire. “Five wait!” I called out while chasing him down. Leaving Lance to his own devices.

The angry flames weren’t just in one room, it had spread throughout every single room in the building making it impossible to go inside. Five stopped at the entrance of the building when I caught up with him. We both stared at the building on fire.

“Get down!” I screamed over the sound of burning rooms as I tackled him to the ground. The flames rose from not just the building but towards us, causing an explosion of fire that could’ve killed him.

He wailed out at the sudden burst, but safely hit the ground. Me on the other hand, I was covered in marks. But thankfully my clothes were no longer wet, just slowly catching on fire. I dragged him out of the way more towards the street as I heard sirens in the distance.

“We need to move now,” I stress to Five but he doesn’t reply back. His eyes never break from the fire. “I know, I know but let’s go,” I say again hoping he would budge this time. But he didn't, so I grabbed him and pulled him back over to the van.

Once we get to the van without Lance, it is clear that whoever had lit the building on fire knew we were there. And I knew that because the front window was fogged with a message.

It read. “Your brother says hi.. brother? Which one.” I say out loud while thinking. Five finally started to move from his motionless state when I looked over at him. But he wouldn't be any help right now. The look on his face and the dullness in his eyes was a look I've seen on many people's faces before.

But then it hit me. “Klaus.”

…

Would you wanna be on a taglist for this story? Say taglist in comments

[tj-dragonblade]

for the make me write! see, it would be dreadfully predictable of me to submit the 🎓

so I'll offer you a choice, depending on which you deem needs your attention more: 🍪 or 🎓

Oh you know me, if you send me two I'm going to do both. 💖 These follow on directly from the last snippet in their wip tags.

For 🍪:

= "Is this a recipe of your own devising?" Dream is eager, he finds, to hear more of this story of Hob's traditions.

"Oh no, no, this is Oma Franziska's gingerbread recipe." Hob has that fondly-nostalgic look again. "She insisted we call her that, me and Jim. She'd lost contact with her own grandkids when she left Germany, you see, and she sort of adopted us when we moved in next to her. She knew Jim's truth, too, and it was nice to have a neighbor who he could be himself with."

Hob has told Dream of Jim previously. Jim, who had been Hob's wife Peg to the rest of the world but Hob's husband in safe company; Jim, who had loved the sea, who sang bawdy pub songs with the loveliest voice, who left Hob with many fond memories and stories to carry with him as he continued living.

"She looked after us both, in a fashion. Knew her way around the kitchen blindfolded and backwards—I'm very sure food was her love language. Always made sure the neighbors were fed if they needed and was just—she was really something, y'know? I'm glad I got to know her." Hob gives the dough a final roll with a flourish. "Stayed put until she passed, even though I was kind of pushing it for that lifetime. I didn't want to leave her behind when she had so little time left, especially when she'd been there for me after Jim died."

"Your kindness does you credit." Dream is warmed by the tale, by yet another glimpse of the man Hob had worked to become in the past century.

"Heh." Hob beams at him, and something low in Dream's stomach tightens marginally. "Anyway, Oma Franziska was always sharing recipes with us—sending her traditions forward, she called it—and I've kept 'em alive for her. This gingerbread is based on an older recipe, but she tinkered with it quite a lot and clearly she knew what she was about; these biscuits always get rave reviews." He turns, plucks two of the biscuit cutters from the jumble on the counter and presents them to Dream. "Here you go."

And for 🎓:

Dream shivers, makes that sound again, and leans back further on Hob's desk. His feet move from Hob's knees up to his shoulders, the sharp edges of the chunky heels digging in just a bit despite the thick wool of Hob's waistcoat. His knees fall wide and he scoots his arse that much closer to the edge of the desk, angling his crotch up so Hob can get at it better.

And Hob is not about to waste the opportunity.

He buries his face in Dream's knickers, mouthing at Dream through the lace with a happy little groan, warm breath and warm lips gently teasing his 'student'. "Tell me what you'd like," he murmurs, after running the tip of his tongue along the length of Dream's cock, kissing the head. "Tell me what you want me to do for you?"

He glances up to see Dream biting his lip, eyes half closed as he leans back, immersing himself in the part. "I sometimes open myself up with my favorite toy," he says, hesitantly, "then sit on it and pretend that I am. Speared, in your lap, while I jerk myself off."

"Then let's start with that," Hob breathes, dick twitching in his slacks. "Nice and easy, get you open and relaxed before we do anything else." He kisses Dream's cock through the lace again, one last time, then guides Dream's feet down from his shoulders and takes his hand to pull him upright and back to standing. He slides both hands up under Dream's skirt, hooks them in the waistband of his knickers, meets his eyes as Dream braces himself on Hob's shoulders.

"These will have to come off," he says, half-apologetically; it's a sin to lose them so soon.

But Dream, bless him, bites his ruby-red bottom lip and squeezes Hob's shoulders. "Can I suck you first, Professor?"

Make me write!