#i'm doing pretty well for myself!! it helps that there's not a lot of vehicles on the road today

[oldmyths]

as someone who lived in isolated communities their entire life, driving in a small town is so so scary to me. and i still do it 💜

[drakoneve]

Destined Meetings

request: Hey, do you think you could write something where the reader is related to tig somehow, and they're in charming for work or college and they start a relationship with juice? Cute and a little angsty at first?

pairing: Juice Ortiz x Trager!Reader

word count: 1.9k

warnings: club crimes, reader's mom isn't the best + suggested childhood trauma, alcohol and drug (maryj) use

a/n: there will be another part for sure, but i might make this a bit of a mini-series, lmk what you think. happy reading!

Tig hardly ever talked about it, but he'd been married once. He would rather die than ever admit he loved anyone but Dawn and Fawn, but he loved her. And you, his sweet, sweet Y/n.

His heart clenched at the thought of you. You were only two years old at the time of the accident. The day your mother decided she had had enough of Tig and the life he came with and that she needed to run.

It was that day, when your mother pulled out of Charming and never looked back. She only made it two towns over before she took a reckless turn right off an overpass into oncoming traffic.

Tig could remember the look on Unser's face as he approached the older man in the TM parking lot like yesterday, and how he wished he could go back and convince your mom not to go. Or to leave you, at least.

Unser had just began working with the club back then, and this case in particular had always stuck with him. A woman trying to escape her outlaw husband with their baby daughter who ends up getting into a horrific accident that ends up killing them both? One of the saddest stories Unser had ever heard.

Except for the fact none of it was true.

Because there you stood, alive and well, right in front of the Chief's desk.

"I know it sounds crazy," you shake your head, hopeful look on your face. "I wouldn't believe it either, actually. And I don't really have any proof other than my memories, but I'm sure it's him."

The aging polaroid in you had provided him of a much younger Tig and a woman he recognizes to be your mother back when she was pregnant with you.

"No, no," he waves your worries away. "I believe you. In fact, I remember your mother, vaguely, and you look a lot like her."

You grimace. "Yeah, I've been told a few times. So do you know where I can find Alexander?"

Chief Unser pulls a pen from his shirt pocket and begins writing on a slip of paper on his desk. "This is the address of the Teller-Morrow, the automotive shop your dad works at. I would take you there myself, but I'm swamped here."

"Oh, it's no issue," you shrug and take the slip of paper. "I can get there myself. Thank you for everything, though."

You turn and begin to leave when Unser calls for you to stop.

"I forgot to mention, your dad goes by 'Tig.'"

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧ ✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧ ✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧ ✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧ 

Juice stretched out his arms and popped his neck while he wiped his hands with a rag. Two weeks of waiting for one part was finally over, and he could get this damn Taurus out of the shop. He tossed the rag into his toolbox when a sleek black car comes rumbling into the lot.

He leaves the garage to get a closer look and notices the car is actually a classic, a well taken care of (or well restored) '69 Chevy. While he admires the car he notices you, too.

Your hair is partly clipped back, with enough loose enough to frame your face in a casual look. You're pretty, and admittedly he'd be more distracted by you but Juice can tell by the look on your face you're nervous. Juice would know, it's a look he's had to learn to hide.

By sight and sound nothing seemed to be wrong with your car, and Juice can't help but wonder why you're here.

You shut the engine off and exit your vehicle, all the while silently composing yourself. Heart thudding in your chest, you wonder if you're doing the right thing.

Juice takes the moment you shut the door to approach further.

"Hello," he greets politely, friendly smile on his face. "I'm Juice, and I'll be taking care of you today. What seems to be the problem?"

"Oh, no," you shake your head and laugh nervously. "Nothing's wrong with her. I'm actually-"

You pause, close your eyes for a second and bite the inside of your bottom lip. Juice can't help but watch you fondly, finding you oddly adorable.

Finally you open your eyes and flash a bright, genuine smile.

Damn, I'm made, he thinks.

"This is gonna sound completely insane," you explain, nervously clasping your hands together. "But, um, I'm looking for Alexa- well, no, Tig, Tig Trager."

Juice raises his brows. "Tig? Uh, I don't know if now's the best time."

It's true, he's currently in Oakland with Jax and Chibs on quick business.

"Look, I know it's inconvenient and you don't know me," you plead. You're closer now and Juice can smell your sweet perfume and practically feel your hopefulness. "But until a couple months ago I had no idea my dad was even alive. And then I found out I was here for weeks before realizing he's here, too."

Your dad? There has to be a story there. Juice raises his hands to either side of your arms, holding you still in hopes to assure you.

"It's okay," he says sternly, but in an endearing way. "Tig's not here right now but he should be soon, so let's head on inside and you can tell me a little bit about you. Just to be sure, no offense."

You smile, relieved to be believed to some extent rather than none. "Thank you, Juice. Thank you."

Juice leads you into the Teller-Morrow through the garage entrance into the larger building. From what you could see on the outside you wouldn't have imagined such a spacious clubhouse inside.

Inside were several pool tables, a couch with mini pieces about, a bar with stools, and other tables each with their own set of chairs. Decorations littered the walls and floors and you laughed to yourself as you noted a nearly full ashtray on almost every surface and a wall completely dedicated to mugshots.

Juice leads you to the bar where he gestures for you to sit as he makes his way around. You slip onto a stool and watch patiently as Juice finds two glasses and turns to you.

"What's your preference?"

You shrug, "Whatever, I'm not partial. On the rocks, though."

He serves you and pours his own drink before setting the bottle down and leaning on the bar on his elbows in front of you.

"So tell me about you," Juice presses softly. He can tell by your fingers circling the rim of your glass that you're not excited for this conversation but he has no choice. "You said you've been here for a few weeks, where'd you live before?"

"Nevada, mostly," you tell him before sipping on your drink. "My mother moved us around a couple times and we lived in Colorado for a while before eventually settling in Sparks."

"Why'd you guys move around?"

You drain the rest of your drink quickly in hopes it'll support you through this conversation. Juice begins to refill your glass without being asked.

"I didn't know it then, but my mom was running from the Sons," you confess.

Juice's eyes widen slightly as he looked you over. What could you know about the club? They were notorious around Charming sure, but with their recent run ins with the ATF has the club struggling and making choices they wouldn't normally make.

You continue, "It wasn't until I graduated high school and I left that she told me my dad was actually alive. Then she told me about the Sons of Anarchy, and everything else I did on my own."

Juice nods, unsure of what to say. He nurses his drink for a moment before reaching for your hand.

"This life is complicated, but we're a family here."

The gesture, simple as it is, riles up all the pent up feelings you've mastered all your life comes rushing forward as tears brim your eyes.

"Family," you repeat and pull your hand from Juice to wipe your tears. "What a weird concept?"

The two of you talk well into the evening and you end up migrating to the couch with a bottle and a large bowl of buttery popcorn. Juice made good company. He's genuine, gunny, and from the way he talks you can tell the Sons are something special to him.

He tells you about himself in turn for the vulnerable information you've given him. You learn he was born and raised in New York before coming to Charming, and he has a little sister behind in the city. Juice tells you he works in the TM garage alongside what he does for the club.

"I'm not stupid," you tell him once you notice his hesitance. "It's not hard to find information on the club from the locals around here."

He chuckles softly, "Yeah, I'm sure. If you have any questions, you can ask me."

Before you can the rumbling of bikes coming into the TM parking lot distracts you. Instinctively you grabbed Juice's hand, but let go just as fast as you'd grabbed him. Luckily before he can say anything the door bursts open and income more Sons.

The first is a younger blond man with piercing blue eyes and you notice the President patch on his left. He greets Juice happily before his eyes look to you, and he looks confused but seemingly brushes it off and goes to the bar.

Your dad walks in near arm in arm with another handsome man with scarred cheeks, obviously older than he is in the polaroid you own, but otherwise he seems the same. Its as if he can feel your gaze as he turns to meet his blue eyes to your own.

You stand, trying to ignore the thumping of your heart in your chest. "Hi, Tig," you greet, silently cursing the waver in your voice. Immediately the polaroid is out of your back pocket and in your hand. "My name's Y/n, and my mom's Y/m/n."

He takes the polaroid from you without a word and holds it carefully in his hands. His friend has stepped away towards Juice, likely for questioning.

"I saw Unser earlier today," you continue on. "He told me that I have a grave here in Charming, so does mom. Funny, considering she always told me you were the dead one."

You take a shaky breath in, trying to keep from bursting into tears. "I just... I wanted you to know I'm not dead, very much alive. I don't, like, expect anything from you I just knew I had to say something."

Tig finally breaks away from the polaroid to meet your eyes again, and it makes you feel a bit better to see his blue eyes are as tear filled as your own.

He raises one hand to cup your cheek, thumb moving to wipe your tears. "Losing you was the worst pain of my life," he admits softly.

His words crumble your resolve, the walls you'd spent your adolescence building to protect yourself fell faster than they were constructed. You practically fall into his arms, and the two of you break down as you hold each other.

As you sob into Tig's chest he merely cradles you the way he wishes he'd been able to all these years. The way he deserved to have been there for you. He holds you tight against him like he's afraid you'll dissipate and it'll be decades before he sees you again.

"We're gonna be okay, baby," he tells you. "We're gonna be okay."

This time, he's not going to be letting you go so easy.

[rallamajoop]

An absurdly detailed analysis of That One Soldat Photo

Hang around wintersberg fandom long enough, and you'll likely run into a popular crack-theory that, since Heisenberg obviously thinks that building a set of huge, yellow-painted signposts is a good way to point Ethan to the Stronghold, maybe it's Heisenberg who's been leaving all those handy, yellow-painted supply crates all over the place for Ethan to find! It's exactly the kind of fun nonsense I'd enjoy if it didn't feel folks are starting to take it a little too literally (by which I mean I have now read multiple fics in which it's played completely straight ‒ and, like, people do get that it's just a crack theory, right? Like, why would Heisenberg have left so many yellow crates around his own damn factory? Look, you don't have to explain every last game mechanic, not everything is lore!)

But as anyone reading my own fic would know, I'm guilty of echoing the idea that Heisenberg-was-leaving-stuff-for-Ethan myself ‒ just not because of any yellow-striped crates. No, I'm way more interested in this one weird soldat-photo you can find in the village ‒ long hours before you'll ever see your first Soldat in the flesh...

Very creepy. And if you turn it over, you'll find a clue to a puzzle you'll have to solve in order to progress.

(And of course, when you do look out the window, odds are you'll get jump-scared by a lycan just when you're focused on the numbers, because RE8 loves that sort of misdirection ‒ but I digress.)

Anyway, the code you can see out the window will open a safe containing a jack handle you'll need to move a vehicle in the village, as well as the M1911 pistol (which will very likely be your go-to handgun for the rest of the game). The game is full of conveniently-helpful clues like that (heck, most games are), often with no obvious Watsonian justification. And there are other photos around the village ‒ Luiza has a whole photo album ‒ but photos of experiments created by Miranda and her lords don't generally turn up outside their own territory.

For a player exploring the village for the first time, that photo is a lovely little bit of foreshadowing, hinting at monsters and factory stages to come. But on replaying with full knowledge of Heisenberg's later attempts to get Ethan on his side, that Soldat photo is just enough to make you go, huh... did Heisenberg leave that for Ethan? Like, on purpose?

You can find another copy of that photo later, in Heisenberg's factory, along with his notes on his early series Soldat experiments. Which doesn't really prove anything beyond the fact that assets exist to be reused... but it does at least make it pretty canon that Heisenberg has photos of his Soldats sitting around.

Possibly also significant: both the clue photo and the factory documents are tagged 'geekmemo' in the game files. Most everything related to Heisenberg in the files is labeled 'geek'-something ‒ it seems to be an early nickname for his character that lasted well into production. Everything in the factory is geek-something, even the model for the passageway from the altar to the bridge is labeled 'pathtogeek'. Considering that so many soldat-related assets are already labeled 'geek', maybe that 'geekmemo' tag doesn't really tell us anything we don't already know ‒ but it certainly doesn't work against the idea that Heisenberg wrote that 'memo' himself.

Besides, it's not like there isn't precedent for this kind of thing. RE7 had a whole mechanic where you'd have to find 'treasure photos' pointing out the location of a few rare and useful items, all with "I hid something here" written on the back. We're never explicitly told who left those photos lying around, but it's obviously Lucas: he loves playing games, he loves taunting prisoners with the possibility of escape, and who else would it be? The complete population of the Baker mansion is like 6 people and a bunch of semi-sentient mould.

Over in RE8, there are a lot more village resident who might have left that clue lying around. Like it or not though, Heisenberg is very much RE8's equivalent of Lucas: the family's wildcard show-boater who loves making Ethan jump through hoops for his amusement. So how does the game let us know it was Heisenberg who left this particular clue? Well, who else would leave a message on the back of a Soldat photo?

There's may be additional supporting evidence Heisenberg could be involved ‒ most notably the location, being a locked-off cul-de-sac labeled 'Workshop' on signs and maps. The area is full of metal junk very much like you'll later see lying around the factory.

The workshop location does have other relevance ‒ it makes sense that you'd find the jack handle in the village workshop, whether Heisenberg was involved or not. But it also stands to reason that if there's anywhere in the village proper where Heisenberg might hang around and leave clues for Ethan, the workshop is it. And you have to admit that leaving Ethan useful stuff in a safe along with an easy clue that will likely get him jumped by a lycan is 100% more in-character for the guy than just leaving useful stuff out in the open, even if it doesn't really prove anything either.

There's one more weird-little does-this-mean-anything detail: there are three dead crows near the safe too.

It's not the first time in the game you've seen dead crows (there were a bunch outside the village, and I've talked about what that might mean in the context of Miranda's cult before). But I don't remember finding any others around the village itself, other than in this one spot. And instead of being hung from trees like a ritual sacrifice, these ones are just dead ‒ messily, and with blood everywhere.

Now, maybe it doesn't mean anything, but is there anyone in the village more likely to vent his frustrations by violently killing a few of Mother Miranda's avian avatars than Heisenberg? I'd think not.

In conclusion: I still don't think all those yellow crates have anything to do with Heisenberg. And I still don't know for sure whether the RE8 development team wanted me to assume that Heisenberg left Ethan that photo, jack handle and gun. I don't know if we're supposed to read that Heisenberg keeps a workshop in the village and sometimes kills crows out of spite. But the evidence sure does point that way ‒ and it's as valid an interpretation as anything else you might take from this game.

[d1xonss]

Desert Rose

Chapter 35 ~ Hey Jude

✧ Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Rose

✧ Era : Season 3

✧ Word Count : 5.9k

In this chapter ~ Rose was left utterly heartbroken at the loss of the man she loved dearly, growing almost unphased and numb as they made their way back to the prison without him. A new and unexpected group of people are there when they returned however, just wanting a chance and someone else to survive alongside of. Though Rick didn't look like he was willing to hear them out whatsoever. But one thing he did want was to seek Rose out, wanting to patch up everything that had happened between them.

The car ride home was nothing but awful. Rick was the one who drove the woman and I back while Glenn and Maggie followed behind in a separate car we had hotwired. After Glenn and I finally broke away from each other, no one uttered a single word as we packed up and left. It was a very awkward and uncomfortable silence that filled our car, but to be honest I didn't really care. All I could think about was Daryl, how it all happened too fast, and to say I was heartbroken would be an understatement.

I quickly noticed how empty I felt without him, and I caught myself multiple times trying to glance towards the backseat expecting him to be there. But he wasn't, he was gone. I began to overthink that maybe I had made a mistake, maybe I should've gone with him. But I quickly shook my head at the thought the moment I let my mind wander there. I would've been just as heartbroken to leave the others as I was for him, and I needed to stick with the decisions I made, deal with the consequences.

Suddenly I felt Rick slow the car down to a stop, causing my eyes to glance up out of the windshield to see a truck in the middle of the road that was blocking our way of getting through. I just sighed to myself but yet made no effort to move.

I felt Rick place a hand on my shoulder, "You coming out?" he asked, his tone almost softer than it usually was.

But I silently shook my head and looked back in front of me as I felt him remove his hand, hearing his door open and shut seconds after. I watched absentmindedly as they made their way over to the truck, pausing for a moment before Glenn reached to open the driver's side door. Though the moment he did, a walker made itself known as it flew out of the vehicle in attempts to attack. But it didn't get the chance as Glenn quickly stomped on its skull repeatedly, but continued even after it was dead, taking out all his anger on the one thing he could find. I cringed and stopped watching the scene in front of me, looking back down at my hands.

"I'm sorry about Daryl."

My head tilted back a bit to look at the woman behind me, just silently nodding in thanks. I was surprised she said anything to me at all, but it somehow meant a lot that she did. Though I was quick to realize I still hadn't learned her name as she never so much as breathed it. I wanted to know it. But what I really wanted even more was to change the subject, even if she was only trying to be respectful.

"You never told us your name." I stated.

"I know." she said simply.

I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped my lips as I saw her smirking at me, "Well, can I know your name?" I asked.

She paused for a minute as she looked at me, before finally saying, "Michonne."

"That's really pretty." I smiled, turning back around to keep an eye on the rest of them, unaware of the small smile on Michonne's face at the compliment I just gave her.

Glenn and Rick's voices were muffled from inside the car, though it didn't take a genius to see that they were arguing from their pointed fingers and furrowed brows. I couldn't help but roll my eyes, debating in my head whether or not I should step in so we could move this along. But the second I saw Rick getting up closer in Glenn's face, I cursed under my breath and opened up the car door to get out.

"What the hell did you expect me to do?! Throw down a welcome mat for Merle?!" Rick yelled, "This is the hand we've been dealt!"

"Hey!" I yelled to get their attention, watching all their heads snap towards me as everything around us seemed to still, "What the fuck is going on?"

There was a moment of awkward silence, Rick stepping away from Glenn as they both breathed a bit heavier from the screaming match, "Nothing." he muttered.

I narrowed my eyes at him, "I'm not five, you don't have to stop talking about him just because I'm around. Now stop your arguing, move this fucking truck, so we can get back to the fucking prison!" I snapped.

I didn't wait for their response as I stormed back towards the car, getting in and shutting the door behind me with a slam. Breathing in and out deeply, I attempted to calm myself down as I rested my head back further on the seat and closing my eyes for a moment. Knowing in the back of my mind that all I really needed was some sleep.

Michonne scoffed, "Men." she muttered.

I huffed out a laugh as I briefly turned around to face her again, "Yeah, men."

She smiled a first genuine smile at me, before I turned back around and rested my head on the cool glass of the window. After the harsh words I seemed to spit at them to hurry up, they seemed to get the message. It felt like only a minute or two before I heard Rick get back in the car with a slam of his own door, muttering something bitchy under his breath.

But I couldn't bring myself to listen as I stayed perfectly still where I sat, watching the vehicle begin to move down the road again as the path was completely cleared. My eyelids grew heavier as I listened to the soft hum of the car, the sound alone coaxing me to fall deeper as I finally allowed my eyes to close.

Although it felt like I merely blinked before I felt someone's hand on my shoulder, gently shaking me awake again. I opened my eyes again and glanced back to see Michonne as she pointed up ahead towards the prison, silently waking me to show we were already back. I gave her a small smile in thanks and quickly sat up in my seat as I saw we were just about to pull up further to enter the gates.

Carl and Carol were up by the front, waiting anxiously for our return before big smiles were brought to their faces, quickly opening up the entrance for us the second they saw the cars. Rick pulled the vehicle far enough into the space, before quickly putting it in park and getting out to scoop Carl up in a hug.

I slowly got out after him, shutting the door behind me just in time to see Carl pull away from Rick and make a beeline towards me as he instantly wrapped his arms around my waist. I felt myself smile a little as I gave him a tight squeeze, moving his hat to place a quick kiss the top of his head.

"You're okay?" he asked as he finally pulled away.

I nodded, "Trying to be."

He looked confused but before he could say anything, Carol spoke up, "Where's Daryl?" she asked, looking towards me.

My smile instantly dropped as I tried to figure out where to even begin, but once she saw my hesitance, she thought the worst. Her eyes got wide as she stepped closer to me, "Oh sweetie." she breathed in obvious sympathy as she tried to bring me into a hug.

But I stepped back a bit and shook my head, "He's not dead, just...just gone." I said.

She gave me a confused look but I wasn't planning to say anything else about it, "I'm going to drive this car up." I muttered, not waiting for a response as I hopped back in the driver's seat.

Putting the car back in drive, I looked up once more in the rearview mirror, seeing Rick breaking the news to Carol as Carl and Michonne stood off to the side. Though I tried not to look for too long, I still managed to catch a glimpse of the slight devastation on her face as they broke the news to her. I drove the rest of the way up the gravel road in complete silence, though my thoughts were very loud as I couldn't seem to stop thinking.

As I rolled through the other sets of gates, putting the car in park along in line with the others, I saw Glenn and Maggie reuniting with the rest of the Greene's. I felt my heart warm at the sight, getting out of the car and walking up to them slowly I watched as they all embraced each other, relief washing over Hershel's face at the feeling of them being home and unharmed.

Beth then spotted me after she hugged her sister, laughing lightly with tears in her eyes as she ran over to me. I gave her the best smile I could muster and quickly wrapped my arms around her gently.

"I'm so glad you're okay." she whispered.

I nodded, "I'm okay." I confirmed, squeezing her shoulders a bit tighter.

She held onto me for longer than I expected her too, almost sensing something was off in a way. I had no idea how she was able to tell when the others hadn't come up to break the news, but she did. She could read me in a way I couldn't understand.

But I eventually broke away from her as I saw Hershel still standing there over her shoulder, moving over to greet him as well. He hugged me as best as he could as he balanced on the crutches, silently thanking me for everything and I only nodded in return. Not having the right thing to say. Though I quickly managed to move on and finally head back into the prison after greeting them, itching to just go off by myself so I could finally be alone after the extremely emotional day. The last thing I wanted was for anyone else to see me break.

The heavy door opened and shut loudly behind me, leaving me rushing past the common room to head to my cell to finally get some sleep in my own bed. But as I walked by, some unfamiliar figures were sitting down at one of the tables casually, making me  immediately pause and backtrack a few steps as I didn't recognize them at all.

My eyes were somewhat wide as I stared at them for a long moment, seeing Carl walk in a few seconds later and stepping past the complete strangers as if it was totally natural that they were there. I grabbed his arm to stop him as I gestured up to the people a few feet away.

"I'm sorry, who the hell is this?" I asked him.

One of the men in the group stood up from his seat, "Hi, uh...I'm Tyreese, and this is my sister Sasha," he said while pointing to a girl next to him, "And these are our friends Allen and Ben."

I shook my head at him, "What are you doing here?"

He paused, "Well...I was hoping you guys would give us a chance to be a part of your group. I would love to talk to you and-"

"It's not my call." I interrupted him, hearing the door open once more, knowing Rick was about to come in and give these people a run for their money the second he caught a glimpse of them just as I did.

I scoffed, knowing exactly how this was going to go, "Good luck." I said sarcastically before turning on my heel and making my way back to the cellblock.

As my footsteps got more distant, I faintly heard Carl speaking to them quietly, "She just lost someone important to her, don't take it personal. She's really nice."

The sentence made me stop in my tracks. I closed my eyes and sighed heavily before shaking my head and continuing to make my way to my cell. As I slowly walked into the space, I couldn't help but stare at some of Daryl's things still sitting in one of the corners of the room, scattered and all over the place, yet somehow still neat. A part of me wanted to go through the things he left but I couldn't bring myself to do it, not yet at least.

My body practically tumbled onto the mattress in exhaustion, mentally and physically. Though I felt myself almost immediately shiver, wrapping the blanket tighter around myself to offer more warmth as I tried to get some more sleep. But I soon came to realize how much warmer it was with him in the bed next to me, how he was practically a furnace with the amount of heat that radiated off of him.

That single thought alone caused my mind to spiral again, thinking about the things I would no longer have now that he wasn't here. The things I would miss the most. How I would never feel the warmth of his hands on my skin, or never be in his embrace. But it wasn't all about that either. It was also about the loss of his laugh, his deep voice, even his eyes and how they could look at me any certain way and I would know exactly what he was thinking.

The familiar tears built up in the corners of my eyes now that I was alone, finally allowing myself to cry softly as I tried desperately to drift off to sleep.

My eyes peeled open as I heard the faint sound of a baby fussing near my cell, sitting up quickly as I tried to rack my brain for when I actually fell asleep. But I couldn't remember, the only thing my mind could process was the tears that still stained my cheeks, quickly wiping them as I looked up to see Beth slightly pacing just outside.

She shook a bottle in her hand as she walked back and forth down the line of cells, trying to calm the baby down as she prepared to feed her.

"I can feed her." I offered.

Her eyes snapped up to meet mine, nodding silently as she came into my room and sat down next to me on the bed. She passed the baby over to me along with the bottle, watching for a moment as I rocked her lightly and placed it in her mouth to finally calm her down.

"Didn't mean to wake you." she said apologetically.

I shook my head as I kept my eyes on the baby, "You didn't."

I could see her nod slowly out of the corner of my eye, before she grew quiet as she spaced off, clearly thinking deeply about something. For the most part I didn't acknowledge it as I watched the little girl's eyes get faintly heavy as she slowly drank, but after a few minutes it was getting hard to ignore.

As I went to say something, she actually opened her mouth first. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry...about Daryl." she finally muttered.

My eyes glanced up at her as I nodded in appreciation, "Thanks hon."

"I think it's bullshit, leaving us like that." she suddenly said quite bitterly, "Leaving you like that. I thought you would be more angry."

I sighed as I adjusted the baby in my arms, "I'm not angry. I understand why he left." I spoke.

She stayed silent as she stewed over that, contemplated about how I couldn't possibly be angry when he did such a selfish thing. But the truth was, it wasn't selfish at all. If I was being honest I almost believed that being angry with him would make things easier, if the things he did were truly selfish and ignorant. But that wasn't the case at all. He wasn't selfish, and I couldn't find the strength to be angry. Not after everything he said to me at the last few moments we shared.

"You know, he asked me to come with him." I went on when she didn't say anything.

A look of shock crossed her face, "Really?"

"Really."

"So...why didn't you-"

"Because I couldn't leave the rest of you. You all mean too much to me, and I just...couldn't." I explained.

She smiled, a twinge of sadness still present on her features, "I'm glad you didn't. I'd miss ya too much." she admitted while leaning her head on my shoulder.

"I'd miss you too." I told her, placing a kiss on her head, "And I'd miss this little nugget right here."

She laughed a little, "You know, Rick and Carl picked a name for her; Judith."

I glanced back down at the baby before nodding my head in confirmation, "It suits her."

She nodded in agreement, and I then asked her to tell me what happened here while we were gone to take my mind off of everything. She began to tell me a little bit more about Tyreese's group, and the more she spoke, the worse I felt for completely brushing him off earlier. I hadn't meant to initially; I just didn't trust any strangers we came across, not knowing what their true intentions were.

But the more she talked about them, the more they sounded like genuinely good people, although I knew they wouldn't stay. With the way Rick was right now, taking one hit after another, I wouldn't be surprised if he threatened them right off the bat.

A lull grew in the conversation as the two of us quieted down on instinct, hearing the others in the cellblock somewhat whispering with one another. We both wordlessly looked at each other before getting up at the same time to trail downstairs and see what was happening. The two of us briefly caught Rick talking about what went down at Woodbury, how he had captured Maggie and Glenn while one of his men shot Oscar dead in the streets. It was clear to almost everyone that the way he was talking, this fight was far from over.

As Beth and I made our presence known, she spoke when it grew silent, "So what now? Do you think The Governor will retaliate?"

"Yes." Maggie said with no hesitation.

"Let him try." Glenn spoke lowly.

Hershel nodded to himself before slowly making his way up to Rick, placing a hand on his shoulder, "We could use some reinforcements." he obviously hinted.

Rick debated in his head for a moment, before sighing to himself as he turned to make his way back out to the common room to talk to the new people. I quickly handed Judith back to Beth to follow him out there and see what he was going to say, keep an eye on him in case anything happened. I quietly advised her and Carl to stay in the cellblock as the others seemed to follow Rick's lead, not wanting them to be in the space in case things somehow turned sour. They both protested with hushed whispers but I gave them one look that made them shut their mouths instantly, before turning around to enter the common room.

Rick walked up to Tyreese and the man introduced himself, but Rick barely even gave him a chance to speak before already interrupting him. "How did you get in?" he asked him.

"Fire damage to the administrative part of the prison. Walls down." Tyreese told him.

"That side is completely overrun with walkers, how'd you get this far?" Rick asked.

The man ducked his head as he swallowed a bit thickly, "We didn't...we lost our friend Dona."

It all grew silent around the space as he admitted they lost someone they cared for, an awkwardness lingering in the air.

"They were lost in the tombs." Carl voice suddenly came from behind me.

I whipped around to see both him and Beth lingering towards the back sheepishly, rolling my eyes at the two as they couldn't listen for shit.

Rick seemed to look back at him just as I did, processing his words as he suddenly started to lose his patience, "...You brought them here?" he snapped loudly.

Everyone seemed to instinctively flinch at his loudness, that alone causing me to silently pull Carl closer to me and wrap an arm around the front of him. Rick wasn't in his right state of mind, that much was clear, and I didn't want him to lash out at anyone. But definitely not his own kid.

"He had no choice." Hershel softly defended, watching as Rick slowly nodded his head in somewhat of an understanding.

"...I'm sorry about your friend...we know what that's like." Rick murmured.

Tyreese nodded in appreciation before continuing, "Hershel said you could use some extra hands, and we're no strangers to hard work. We'll go out, get our own food, stay out of your hair. You got a problem with another group, we'll help with that too. Anything to contribute." he said positively.

I felt myself smile at Tyreese, he was a smooth talker that was for sure. Just from the little speech he just gave, I was willing to let them be a part of the group and they seemed like good people. They never gave us a reason not to trust them from what I've seen.

Rick however, was clearly not thinking the same as I. "No." he instantly declined.

"Rick." I protested to get his attention, but he ignored me completely.

"Please." Sasha begged, "It's like ten little Indians out there...it's just us now."

Rick looked at her for a moment before repeating, "No."

"Let's talk about this, we can't just keep-" Hershel tried.

"We've been through this. With Tomas, Andrew, look what happened." Rick said, wanting these people out.

Carol stepped in, "Axel and Oscar weren't like them."

"And where's Oscar now?" he snapped at her.

She backed away slightly at his outburst, turning towards the rest of us with slightly wide eyes. There was a thick tension in the air as he continued, "I can't be responsible." Rick concluded.

"You turn us out, you are responsible." Tyreese argued, yet kept his tone calm.

Hershel then approached the scene cautiously, placing a hand on Rick's shoulder and began whispering something to him that none of us could make out. My guess was he was trying to convince him to let these people stay and really working his old man charm. He always had a way with words and could get you to agree with him over practically anything. And this wasn't any different.

After Rick pulled away he looked to all of us, his eyes lingering on where Carl and I stood. He sighed in silent defeat as a small smile was brought to his face, leaving me convinced that he was going to agree, to give these people a chance. But then his eyes slowly drifted above us, beginning to stare at the balcony above the common room. His smile faded immediately, nearly cowering away as he grew obviously afraid. My brows furrowed as I turned to see what he was looking at, but there was nothing there.

He began to silently panic, whispering quietly to himself as he pinched the bridge of his nose and kept his eyes down. We all watched in utter silence as he tried to pull himself together, looking back up towards the balcony, blinking rapidly as if he was trying to get something to disappear.

"Why are you here? What do you want from me?" he suddenly asked towards the empty space, his voice audibly shaking now.

"Dad?" Carl questioned, but he ignored him.

His breathing became heavy as he began to look around the room, "I can't help you! Get out!" he suddenly yelled.

I watched as he walked back and forth, brushing past me as I tried to reach out to him in attempts to stop his movements, "Woah easy Rick, calm down."

But that set him off completely. "You don't belong here! Get out! Please!" he yelled to no one in particular, raising his gun suddenly and began to wave it around.

Tyreese's eyes widened as he began to frantically talk, "Woah, woah okay, we'll leave. Ain't nobody gotta get shot here."

"What are you doing here?!" he screamed.

I pulled Carl closer to me and we both took a step back and I could feel him tense up, his eyes wide as he followed his father's figure. Glenn tried to get Tyreese's group out as fast as possible, frantically telling them that they could just go so Rick wouldn't do something he might regret.

When they finally retreated back towards the door, leaving the building with a slam, Rick stopped yelling, but he didn't look calm in the slightest. He looked up at the balcony one last time and sighed to himself, shaking his head as if he was trying to get rid of the memories. I held onto Carl tighter, starting to back away into the cellblock and he didn't hesitate to step back with me. The rest of the group started to follow us in silence, and it was clear everyone was disappointed at Rick's decision and a little scared at his outburst. Everything was falling apart.

Later in the night when everyone was peacefully sleeping, I couldn't for the life of me. I was thinking too much, and my brain just wouldn't calm down as I tossed and turned every few minutes uncontrollably. I thought about what happened just a few hours ago, I thought about The Governor now knowing where we are...and I thought about Daryl.

It's crazy, I thought, how someone can be in your life for so long and then suddenly...they're not. I began thinking about him more than I would ever admit to anyone around me, mostly because I didn't want them to worry. Though I knew no matter what, they would anyway.

A cry then ripped through the air and quickly pulled me out of my thoughts, immediately recognizing it was Judith who had just woken up from the floor below me. I stood to my feet as I quietly made it down towards Carl's cell, figuring I would take her since I couldn't sleep anyways and I knew Beth deserved a break.

I walked down the stairs and peeked into Beth's cell, seeing she was sleeping like a rock. She didn't even flinch when the baby kept crying, that alone proved how much she needed the rest. My feet were light and quiet as I made my way into Carl's cell, taking Judith out and slowly beginning to rock her as I made my way back out into the common room.

I figured she might be hungry again so I began to make a bottle, but she was still restlessly fussing in my arms. An idea popped into my head as I found the formula under the tables, glancing back behind me to make sure no one else was around, before I began to sing softly.

Hey Jude, don't make it bad

Take a sad song, and make it better

Remember to let her into your heart

Then you can start to make it better

Upon hearing the softness of my voice, that seemed to calm her the smallest bit as I tried quickly to finish up. But I practically jumped clean out of my skin when I heard someone faintly clapping from behind me, turning to see Rick standing near the door to the cellblock. His head was only peeking through as he looked at the two of us, smiling small as he walked in further. My lip barely quirked up in return before I turned back around to shake the bottle I had just finished.

I could hear his footsteps entering the room further, and I dreaded turning back around to face him, yet I somehow did when his movements stopped from only a few inches behind me.

"Didn't mean to scare you." he said quietly.

I looked up from the baby, "It's fine." I assured gently.

He paused for a moment as he gazed down at me, "I think we need to talk."

I immediately looked for an out, but running with a brand new baby probably wasn't the best idea. I just tried to put all my focus on Judith as I avoided his eyes, "About?" I asked, moving around him to sit at one of the tables.

He seemed to instantly follow and took a seat next to me, "We've kind of been at each other's throats recently...I just wanted to apologize for that."

Glancing up at him again, I saw he was being sincere, "It's okay. I've been kind of on edge lately and I shouldn't have taken it out on you. I'm sorry too."

He nodded gratefully before his mouth parted again, "Now...about Lori-"

"Don't." I stopped him.

"I just want to thank you for being there for Carl. For being there for Judith. For being there for...her." he said, his voice filled with pain at the mere mention of Lori. Not even being able to bring himself to say her name.

I couldn't look back up at him as he spoke, and I heard him sigh, "Will you look at me?" he asked softly.

I slowly lifted my gaze and looked into his eyes, watching him continue, "Don't blame yourself for what happened, alright? It's the last thing you need right now...especially when it's not true."

I felt myself start to get a little tearful at his words, looking away from him again as I didn't want him to notice. But then I felt his finger come under my chin and lift my head gently, to look at him again. He rubbed my chin softly with his thumb, his eyes pleading at me to say something.

I sighed softly and finally gave in, "Okay." I whispered.

He gave a small smile, "Okay." he repeated.

I smiled back at him and he removed his hand, pulling me into his side for a gentle hug. I leaned in as best as I could with the baby still in my arms, feeling him rest his chin on top of my head. For once he sighed in relief, relief in knowing that we were finally okay again, and we could stop walking on eggshells around each other. Relief in realizing that we needed each other a lot more than we both thought, seeking each other out at a time like this when things were so shitty. Relief in knowing now that we were okay.

We stayed like that for a while until I eventually noticed Judith had now fallen back asleep, and I slowly pulled away.

"Hey, will you put her back down? I'm gonna head outside for a bit to get some air." I informed him.

He nodded his head and took her from me carefully, "Why don't you get some sleep?" he suggested.

"I can't." I said simply before slowly making my way towards the doors.

Instant goosebumps rose on my skin at the chill in the air as soon as I stepped foot outside. My feet then carried me all the way out to the field to sit down in the grass and look up at the stars. I tried to just breathe the fresh air and let my mind relax, but I couldn't help but wonder if Daryl was okay. I knew in the back of my mind that he was, he knew how to take care of himself with little to nothing at all, but I couldn't help but worry.

If I was being completely honest with myself, I felt lost. I was trying to stay positive and not mention it around everyone else, but it was hard. Forcing myself to be strong about this was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Relying on someone else was never something easy for me, but yet it happened, and now I felt so off like a piece of me was missing.

So I stared up at the stars, thinking about how we were under the same sky, but miles and miles apart from each other.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* DARYL POV ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Merle and I set up camp near a clearing in the woods when we got too tired to keep going for the day. I sat perfectly still with my knees to my chest, staring mindlessly into the fire a few inches from me as I felt the warmth blow towards me at every gust of wind that passed by. Although I remained silent as I watched the giant flame, I still had one thing on my mind. Rose.

Regret began to fill my chest as the hours passed slowly, rethinking every dumb decision I made that led me to this point. But I knew I couldn't force her to come with me and make her leave the group, make her leave her own family. And I couldn't leave Merle, even though he was nothing more than a dumbass piece of shit that always got himself into trouble, he was still my brother. The brother I had lost for months, thinking he was dead. But even though I found him, a part of me knew there would always be something constantly missing now.

I didn't have much trouble leaving the group behind, knowing that even after a little over a year, I still didn't open up much to those people...not as much as I opened up to Rose. She was the only one who really understood me, understood my thoughts without me even having to say them out loud, and truly made me happy. Happier than I had ever been. Hell, Merle didn't even understand me as much as she did, and we had known each other our whole lives.

I missed her. I missed her more than I could put into words, but I knew I couldn't go back, not with Merle following behind me. They would never let him stay and he and I both knew that.

I then heard some rustling coming my way, not even glancing up as I heard him pushing his way past the bushes. Speak of the devil.

"I found more sticks for the fire." he commented, and I just grunted in response as I kept my eyes on the flames.

But I could almost feel the smirk grow on his face as he sat down across from me. "Whatcha thinkin about? Hm? Maybe a certain brunette with a nice ass?"

My eyes snapped up, "Shut up." I muttered.

He laughed to himself, "Nah, I thought it was cute how you practically begged her to come with us. She's more predictable than I ever imagined."

"The hell you talkin bout?" I asked with narrowed eyes.

"I could see it coming from a mile away that she wouldn't follow ya. You know why? Cause she don't give a shit about you. She used ya." he said.

"You don't know fucking anything about her." I snapped.

He shrugged, "Maybe. But don't ya think if she really loved you, she would be here with ya right now?"

I just stared at him, not having anything else to say as he laughed loudly at my sudden silence, "Thought so. You take first watch...you seem to have a lot to think about now, yeah?" he smirked again, knowing damn well that he got in my head.

He then turned his back to me and fell asleep within a matter of minutes, snoring loudly. I let his words replay over and over in my mind. I didn't want to believe him, he's been bullshiting ever since he could talk, so why the hell should I believe him? But I would be lying if I said I hadn't considered him to be telling the truth.

But I knew Rose. I knew her better than anyone else and I knew she cared about me, she still loved me just like I still loved her. I couldn't let him twist my thoughts like that because in the back of my mind, I knew he was always good at it. So I settled with looking at the stars above me, hoping that she was doing okay, and that she was safe behind the walls of the prison.

~ Thanks for reading!

[themultifandomgal]

Matt- Meeting Him

My first day as the new trauma surgeon and I'm already late. What a great first impression. I slide into the drivers seat of my car, placing my bag on the front seat I put on my seatbelt and pull off my driveway.

It's winter and so cold in Chicago that I go go turn the heating on, that's when I realise a car is heading straight towards me. Am I on the wrong side of the road? No. It's them. Swerving so I don't have a head on collision I end up rolling down a bank hitting a tree then I black out.

My head is pounding when I come to... not a good sign. I reach up to touch my head and see blood... great I've cut my head open and probably have a concussion. I go to open the car but the door won't budge. I lean over to try the other but I can't reach, my belt is in the way. I try to unbuckle my seat belt but it's stuck. My phone is on the floor where I can't reach. I'm stuck. All I can do is hope that help is on its way and soon, because I'm pretty sure I can smell gas now.

Thankfully I'm not waiting long when I hear sirens so I do the only thing I can think of to get their attention and that's honk my horn. I then see some men in fireman gear stood at the top of the bank. I can relax. I manage to roll down my window when one of the men arrive

"My seatbelt is stuck. I can't open the door" I tell the man

"Ok we're going to get you out of here. Capp get the spreaders. Can you tell me your name?"

"YN YLN. Today was meant to be my first day as the new trauma surgeon at Med"

"Well you sure are going to make one hell of a entrance YN" the fireman jokes with me

"I think I can smell gas"

"Ok. Hang in there. Capp the spreaders now!" He yells and a guy who I'm guessing is called Capp runs down the bank "let's get you out of here"

"What's your name?" I ask

"Severide. Kelly Severide"

That was 2 weeks ago. Im now back at work and feeling a lot better than I did that day so I've baked the firehouse cookies on my day off

"Hey can I help you?"

"Oh errm hi. Is Kelly here? I wanted to drop these off for him and the guys who helped me a few weeks ago"

"Yeah come with me" I follow the man to see Kelly sat at a table with Capp and Cruze who helped me

"Special delivery"

"I just wanted to say thank you for helping me. These are for you guys" I give Kelly the box of biscuits

"You didn't have to"

"Yeah I did. Anyway I best go. I have an appointment to go to"

"You got another car?"

"No" I say quickly "No I'm well it's kinda embarrassing really but..."

"I get it. Want a lift?"

"Oh no I couldn't..."

"It's ok. I'll take her. Gotta go fill up the truck" the man beside me say

"Well there you go. Don't be a stranger YN"

"I won't. Thank you again"

"If I'm giving you a lift I guess you best know who I am. Matt Casey, Lieutenant"

"It's good to meet you Matt. I'm YN. Trauma surgeon"

"Ahhh your YN. Severide was on about you when squad went out that day" Matt helps me into the truck. I take in a deep breath when he closes it the door. I'm ok, everything's ok. I tell myself. Matt opens the door his side and gets in

"You ok? You look pale"

"Yeah. Just since the accident I've struggled with cars and moving vehicles"

"You'll be ok in here. Don't worry" I give Matt a small smile, his presence seams to calm me for some reason

"So where shall I drop you off?"

"At Med"

"Is everything ok?"

"Oh errm yeah. It's with Dr Charles about the errrr the anxiety with driving"

"I see. Well if you ever need a lift anywhere you can call me"

"I don't have your number"

"Yet" Matt gives me a wide smile which makes me laugh

"Isn't it frowned upon to flirt with the people you save?"

"I didn't save you. Severide did"

"Fair enough"

Before I know it I'm outside of Med

"Here" Matt grabs a piece of paper and pen and scribbles something onto it "my number. Phone me if you want picking up"

"Thank you. Seriously thank you" I take his number making a mental note to add it into my phone later. I leave the truck and wave him goodbye before heading into Med for my appointment.

[midwinterhunt]

I finally had a murderbot diaries dream

I was a defective SecUnit. A good half of my modules (including my governor module) were corrupted and failed to install. Usually this would be found and corrected during calibration in the facility that made me, but before that could happen the facility was attacked.

I was not part of the attack. I saw the chaos begin, but someone (human? bot? construct?) put me into stasis. As far as I know I was the only survivor.

When I was brought out of stasis it was by an adolescent girl and her mother. They learned what i was, that I didn't know how to fulfill my function, and they wanted to keep me anyway. They helped me write my own calibrations, helped me learn to function, and made me part of their community of family and friends. I may not be a good SecUnit, but I made my humans happy and eased their lives.

But good things don't last on the Corporate Rim.

My humans had moved to a colony planet. It was alright, it had beautiful rivers and lots of lovely nature.

It also had bounty hunters or something?

I was running errands on my own and noticed myself being followed. I began evasive maneuvers. Pretty soon I realized I was fairly well surrounded. The humans boxing me in accused me of being something called a "rogue" and said they were taking me in to turn over for money. In pieces if they had to.

I didn't have my combat module, only the self defense moves taught to me by Older Brother. This was insufficient and despite me struggling and fighting back, I was subdued and taken to their cave base with a raging river underneath a short cliff drop. I overheard their plan to sell me back to some corporation.

I still hadn't formulated a plan for my escape when I spotted my humans laying low in a boat, floating down the river toward me. If I didn't do something, they would get into danger.

So I did something.

I did not have my modules online, but I was stronger than the humans were. And only a couple were near me. So I threw my guards away and fired my energy weapons wildly around the cave to force my other captors into cover. Then I jumped down the drop into my humans' boat. I kept firing as we were swept out of the cave, and the Hostiles gave chase.

A hole was shot in our boat and we had to climb up the shore. We made it to where several land vehicles were parked and I began trying to hotwire one of them.

The Hostiles were close behind us, I did not have the experience to hijack a vehicle. I'm not sure how many projectiles I took. That didn't matter. The mother of my human family group took a projectile. She was hurt and bleeding and I couldn't think and couldn't get my humans to safety and the Hostiles were incoming and before I knew it a Hostile had a weapon pointed at my humans. I was outnumbered, and now my humans would be dead before I took out a single hostile. So I surrendered. In exchange for the freedom of my humans, I willingly gave myself up.

I don't know what will happen to me now, but I saw my humans to safety and that's all any SecUnit could ask for.

[flytohurt]

Thrasher mag, March 2024 issue // buy it here! by Matt Pendry

article under the cut!

Skateboarding seems to be everywhere these days, including in the wrestling ring. But if somebody is going to hop over the ropes with a board, we're glad it's Darby Allin because he's not using skating as a gimmick - the dude rips! Despite putting his body through the ringer three-to-four nights a week wrestling, he's still out there getting broke off on his board - and loving every second of it. We caught up recently to talk about living in his vehicle, his guest model on Deathwish and jumping a car over his damn house. Check it.

What's going on, Darby? I'm on the way to the FA warehouse to hang out before we do this meet and greet at their store later today, and on top of that I'm getting ready to go to Mount Everest on Saturday. I got so much shit planned. I have to get hit by a car tomorrow and I have a joint sprain at the moment, so I'm trying to stay at 100 percent.

What do you mean you have to get hit by a car tomorrow? I have to get hit by this car for an AEW promo show tomorrow, then do an actual show in Inglewood and them jump on a red-eye flight to China to train for Mount Everest, so I got to make sure my body stays in one piece.

It sounds like you have a lot going on right now! Where are you originally from? I was born in Arizona, but I was only there for two months so from my brain's standpoint all I remember is Seattle.

Did you start skaing there? Yeah, I started skating in eighth grade.

Is that also around the time you started filming yourself with a tripod? Yeah, it would just rain all the time in Seattle, so when you got a sunny day you couldn't take it for granted - you had to go balls to the wall. That's pretty much when the inception of all my craziness started. You know, sitting at home all day thinking about skating while it was raining. By the time it was sunny it was time to rock and that's when I would get sent to the hospital.

I heard you broke your leg one time and had to push yourself home. That's when I was going to film school in Arizona. It was my first month there and I was trying to drop in on the ASU art museum structure. It's this huge drop in I'd seen in videos. I didn't have a filmer because I'm impatient and don't like to wait for people, so I set up a camera on a tripod and went for it. I flew into the concrete wall in the landing and broke my foot. At that time I had no money and the buses had stopped running, so I had to push myself on my board all the way home. It was a good ten miles; so gnarly. Then I was just sitting there sweating in a hot-ass apartment all summer with no AC and a broken foot.

Sounds like a long summer. I head you were homeless when you moved to Georgia to join the amateur wrestling circuit and make a name for yourself. How long did that last? I was living in my car in Georgia for about five months, pretty much because I didn't want to end up complacent or lazy. A lot of people sit on the couch all day every day, but when you're living in your car, in the middle of the Georgia summer, you get woken up pretty early. It was just a way to push myself out of my comfort zone because I think comfort zones are the death of most people. So, that's the big reason I wanted to be homeless in my car and it ended up working out.

It sounds like with that environment and mindset you were able to push yourself to where you are today. Yeah, absolutely. Everything I do in life is to get out my comfort zone. All the crazy stuff I do, whether I'm getting hit by a car, or jumping over my house, or trying to climb Mount Everest, or sleeping in my car, it helps me get out of my comfort zone and that's usually what chills me out.

Was cooking chicken in the bathroom of a gym on a George Foreman grill out of your comfort zone? Well, I used to park outside of an Anytime Fitness and go cook chicken in the bathroom. Everybody in the gym could smell that shit and would be like, What's going on?

You got to do what you got to do. I didn't have a kitchen or money to eat out so it saved me so much money.

Were you skating much during this time, or had your focus shifted to wrestling? I pretty much stopped skating for a solid year and a half. It was weird - I felt like in order to make it in wrestling I needed to dedicate my life to it and at a certain point I really felt something was missing and I couldn't pinpoint what it was. I was feeling this depression like something about my life was just not there anymore, and then the moment I picked up a skateboard again I was like, Oh shit, this is it, for sure. I never put it back down after that. I've been skating all the time now, even though I'm signed to this company and have to wrestle every week. It's like, You can't pay me enough to stop skating now. When I stopped skating for that year and a half I felt it. Mentally, I really felt it; it just sucked.

Does All Elite Wrestling ask you to take it easy on the skating? No, it sounds crazy but they trust me. I still skate so much. I'm not just doing rock to fakies either - I'm usually trying some crazy shit, so it's really hard to balance out the two worlds, especially when you have to perform every week and you have a passion for skateboarding. I don't think anybody truly understands how much I thread the needle on a weekly basis.

I heard when you first got signed to AEW, they couldn't guarantee you anything because they didn't know what was going to happen with the new company. The parallels are almost identical to many pro skater's careers in this aspect - style, personality, presentation and so much more go into both curating and carrying out a successful skateboarding or wrestling career. Being a few years into a professional wrestling career, do you think it's similar to being a professional skater? I think the overall difference is skateboarding is just more unpredictable. With wrestling, once you make it you're kind of set. I feel like being a pro skater would be a lot harder and there's no real guarantee for the future. Once you can't skate anymore you're kind of spit out of the system, but with wrestling there's more options with what you can do outside of it once your body gives out.

I'm saying the career path is what is so similar - where you go and live in your car with no money and push yourself into this life. Well, would you rather do that or would you rather play it safe? I worked at a 99 Cents store and the mental pain of working at a place like that versus risking your body every day is a no-brainer. I would rather risk my body any day.

Let's talk about the Gates of Hell slam you took a few days before doing a pay-per-view match in Arizona. I was filming this AEW intro video with Max Yoder at the Gates of Hell. Jaws was there, too. There's a big crack at the bottom that wasn't Bondo'd. I tried to no comply backside 360, hit the crack and flew into the wall at the bottom. I fell into this red anthill. I just laid there while they were eating me up. The first thing I thought was, Oh shit, I have to wrestle next week. So I went to Jaws' house and was like, Alright, if I piss blood I'll go to the hospital. If not, I'm good. I sat in the bathtub for like two hours and there was no blood, so all good. A few days later I show up limping for this big match and everybody was like, What happened? I told them I was training and hit my knee, because I have a wrestling ring at my house. I have such a drive to show skateboarding to the pro-wrestling world because they've never really seen it before, so that's why I wanted to skate the Gates of Hell, but I got annihilated.

In true akater fashion you just want to put it on the line! That's what it's all about. It seems like you want to represent skating in the right way and not as some lame gimmick to your persona. It's actually who you are and where you came from. Continuing to skate is certainly a risk because I feel like I have a high standard for how I want to skate. I don't want to just play it safe.

How did the guest board with Deathwish come about? It was my friend Steve Hernandez's idea, who works at Deathwish. He was trying to sell it to Reynolds and Ellington, but they were kind of on the fence. Once they saw some of my skating they were like, Yeah, he's actually a skater. Let's get it! Then we created the Darby Allin AEW Deathwish board. I was super grateful for that whole experience.

When you started making a little bread from AEW, was the backyard skatepark the first dream that was brought to life? Yeah! I got a roll in out of my kitchen window. We have like 14 acres of fucking chaos - there's dirt jumps, a skatepark, we're blowing up cars every weekend. It's just a representation of what I would have wanted when I was ten years old: a fantasy land mixed with Nitro Circus and skating.

Which brings me to the house jump - how did you get the idea for that? We were filming a pilot for my TV show Darby's Days Off and they asked me, What's something you want to do? I was looking at my yard and I said, Can't we just build a big-ass jump over the house? The next week there was a truck unloading dirt and building this massive jump and we even got mobile-home trailers. Travis Pastrana told me trailers are like a crash pad for cars. Earlier that week he also told me there was a good chance I'd break my back if I didn't land it right. Tony Khan, my boss at AEW, asked me if I could a stunt duble and I was like, No way. The moment I landed it, Tony was on FaceTime and I jumped out of the car and was like, I can make it Wednesday! He's always getting stressed out with my shenanigans.

I'm sure he was hyped once he saw how much publicity the video received. That's my whole goal with professional wrestling. I feel like a lot of wrestlers play it safe outside of the ring. To find a way to attract a new audience or fans you have to think outside the box.

You're certainly thinking way outside the box. You clipped the house but still came out alright. What were the stats? How far did you fly? It was a 96-foot jump over the house. It was insane and by far the gnarliest thing I've ever done.

Have any fans or fellow wrestlers ever given you shit about bringing a skateboard into the ring? No, not really. I feel like the best thing to do in wrestling is bring something from outside of wrestling into the ring. Nobody's ever been like, Yo, what the hell? Why do you have a skateboard?

Because they know you actually skate! That's the thing - if I didn't really skate and everyone saw me out there with it, they'd be like, All this is just same fake pro-wrestling shit. There's a lot of that going on already and I don't want to add to it.

It seems like after everything that you have been through you've made the best of the situation - you've got action figures in Target; your matches are televised across the world; I've literally seen you on billboards. You're a celebrity at this point! So, one last thing - I know you're a certified psycho, but are you serious about this Mount Everest thing? You're about to fly to China for a month. Are you actually training to climb it? Absolutely. When I say I'm going to do something, I do it. I just want to work for it. I want something to push towards again that's going to be extremely difficult. It's more of a spiritual quest. I have a lot of things I want to do in life, but Mount Everest kept calling me for whatever reason. I only have six months to train for it and my guides there tell me that's unheard of, but I feel like with everything I've put myself through in life I can 100 percent do it.

Are you going to take your board? Are you going to be the first person to get a clip on top of Everest? I don't even know if that's possible to bring up there. I'll have to ask them, but that would be epic.

Well, I can't wait to see what's next. Do you think we're going to get a full Darby part anytime in the near future? Yeah, it's a goal of mine. Once I get back from Everest I want to start filming.

I know it would be one for the books. Thanks for talking with us, Darby. You're truly one of a kind, my friend. Good luck on the mountain! We'll see how it all plays out. If this interview comes out before Everest, cool. If not and I die on the mountain, then yeah, I don't know...

You're a skater. You'll be all right. Yeah, I guess we'll put that to the test.

[romanarose]

What kind of car/vehicle does each of our boys drive? Especially Frankie, since he's our pilot/driver in the movie. And not asshole Tom, of course 😂

HIIII

thanks s much for the ask!

In Leather and Lace universe all the guys have their set cars but Idk if I stand by all that anymore?

I think Benny has a jeep. Not a nice jeep. He has the kind meant to go nuts on lololol. He's been hanging out the side on farmland more times than you can count and it stresses you out after watching hereditary but you won't dull his shine. If they went back for the money I can see his fr getting that mustang but then after seeing how much insurence is, sells it after ayear or something lolol. He's a goof but I HC they grew up poor on a farm so I don't think he's comfortable spending that money all the time.

Will you might expect a simple, sensible 4 door sudan but I see him in a standard SUV or Jeep type. It's big enough with racks on top to help his friends move tings <3 He's going to invest is something reliable and safe, even if it costs a little more. He might even go for a few flashy features if he thought it'd make his partner or kids happy, but really he's thinking practically.

Frankie has the same shitty truck he's had since he was 20. For some reason, and I'm including myself a lot here, the detail about frankie wearing cowboy boots is overlooked lot in fanfiction!!! I like to think of him being a little yeehaw. But old school yeehaw. None of that morgan wallen shit (sorry morgan wallen fans)

I think Santi is the most likely to get somehing flashy and stick with it. I think even outside the concept of getting the money back, he's doing pretty damn well for himself, judging by the fact he says he'll cover everyones flights abd paying for drinks. I think he's financially well off and is willing to indulge himself in a cool car. Maybe something older though, but still nice. Something to make heads turn a bit. He likes the attention.

[nifolution]

Love Me Again

Pairing: Jake Jensen / Plus-size Reader

Summary: Jake was back, but the Loser’s sixth member is still M.I.A.

Warnings: fluff, angst, feels, bad attempt at humor, guns, killings, mention of memory loss, post breakup, enemies to lovers

A/N: This is a revised copy of my oc fic. It is still written in 3rd person. No stealing, no reposts, no translations, no feeding to AIs. Comments, reblogs and likes are always welcome and appreciated.

You Loved Me Once    Main Masterlist     

Clay’s unit awaited him in a motel parking lot in Adelaide. He secured their post mission rooms and returned keys in hand. "Okay, I got good news and bad news... We can all look forward to hot showers, clean sheets, and a complimentary breakfast. However, there were only three rooms available, so we will have to share.”

The responding groans of protest were expected. “Would you prefer to sleep on the ground for another night? No? So shut your pieholes.” Clay pocketed one of the keycards and set the remaining on the vehicle in front of him. “Aisha will be sharing with me. One room has a king, the other two double beds. Work it out amongst yourselves.”

Wordlessly, Jensen, Cougar and Pooch launched into a game of rock paper scissors. It had been weeks of travel, tents and living on top of one another. The victor cheered, scooping up the keycard to the private room.

“No! Come on, best two out of three.” When his friend shook his head, Jensen changed tactics, “I’ll give you that bitching crossbow I got last op if you switch with me… my watch… a hundred bucks. I’ll even throw in a foot massager, top of the line.”

“No way man. I need a night to myself. The Pooch has earned this.”

Jensen hung his head, accepting defeat. Bunking with his bestie wasn’t so bad, at least there were separate beds. Sharing one with Cougar wasn’t fun, the man was a cover hog. Jake was still grateful Clay reinstated him eight months ago. His teammates were ambivalent about him at first, but eventually everything returned to normal. Well, almost everything.

---------------

The Loser’s current operation led them to South Australia. They’d been hired by a distraught (and wealthy) father as part of a rescue team. He hadn’t seen nor heard from his daughter, Isla, in two years. She had been kidnapped by an illegal arms dealer who forced her into marriage. All prior attempts to get her back had failed. No amount of negotiation, payment, threats or pleading could sway the nefarious man to return her.

A rendezvous with the rest of the group at their makeshift campsite, plus a thirty minute drive east put the Humvees at the perimeter of the target’s estate. “Alright, you all know the drill,” Clay barked into the comms. “We get our asses in there, extricate the woman, send her back to her daddy, and take down anyone that stands in our way.”

Meanwhile their tech genius had already hacked into the system to disable the security and jam communications. Once the cameras powered down, Pooch floored it, ramming through the gate, the other two vehicles followed close behind.

“Eww... This guy’s got raptors picking at a bunch of bones and sinew on his property, always a good sign. You’d think he'd want to be more inconspicuous.”

Pooch’s face scrunched up at the image, “Pretty sure that's just a dead animal.”

Jake shook his head, pursing his lips in mock disapproval. “There's a lot of places to bury a body in a vineyard, all I’m saying. Keep the place tidy.”

“Thanks for the tip,” Aisha deadpanned.

“What do you call that… carrion, right?”

Clay grumbled from the front, “I'm close to calling it Jensen.”

“Yes, sir. I hear ya loud and clear. Shutting up…” he paused for dramatic effect, “now!”

---------------

“This whole goddamn thing’s going tits-up!” Clay had thought his team was prepared, ready to engage the moment they entered the property, but the intel their employer provided was crap. The location was more heavily armed than believed. His unit was at a disadvantage despite the extra help. Outmanned and outgunned, a few men were down and one lost within the first ten minutes.

“Well look at the bright side, we're outside enjoying some fresh...” Jensen’s quip went unfinished as he dove for cover. Incoming drones zoomed through the air spraying bullets. They must have been linked to an independent off sight system because the primary and secondary security had been obliterated. 

Jake focused the scope of his rifle, aiming at the nearest flying pest. “Here birdie birdie…” ‘Wait. That - that’s.’ Still in disbelief, he shouted, “Guys! Guys, that's one of Y/N’s drones!”

Pooch was skeptical, “How can you be sure?”

“Cause they’re like my step kids. Franny, Freddy, Felix, Frank and Foxy. It’s been painted, but that's Frank,” he insisted before taking off, sprinting toward the assailing device.

Clay eyes widened at the other man’s actions, “Jensen, you realize it's shooting at us! Stand down!” Seeing his order ignored, he screamed at the rest of his group, “Cover his dumb ass.”

Disregarding his boss, Cougar pulled out his cellphone and spoke in hushed tones to the person on the other end.

Aisha grit her teeth at her teammate while continuing to fire at their opponents. “That idiot lost his mind, now our sniper decides to make a phone call mid battle. Are you ordering a pizza?”

“Don't forget the breadsticks,” Pooch chimed in. Laughing at the increasing absurdity of the situation.

Jake removed his helmet and dropped his weapon. Frantically jumping and waving his arms, repeatedly calling out ‘Angel.’ A drone moved in and shot at his feet, before slightly pulling back, continuing to hover above him.

“Understood. Our apologies. Copy that.” Cougar hung up and waited.

The remaining drones collected above Jensen’s head. The hair on the back of his neck stood on end. However the moment he dreaded never came. The devices turned and began taking out the guards with quick precision. When only Clay’s men remained, they flew off. 

Sticking to the plan, the team continued to the manor. Wary of a possible ambush awaiting beyond the front door, in lieu of breaking it down, Clay instructed Jensen and Cougar to go through the nearest second floor windows, clear the immediate area and let them in.

Cougar nodded, but walked right through the unlocked door instead. To everyone’s shock but his, it was clear. Raising his chin toward the staircase, he proceeded up them.

“Okay, so we're just following him then?”

Clay shrugged, “Good enough for me.” He had the Losers head upstairs, leaving the rest of the group to keep watch at the entrance.

Cougar seemingly knew exactly where to go. Navigating the twists and turns of the large house with ease. Any lingering guards they came across were swiftly handled. Within the master bedroom’s closet, hidden behind sliding shelving they found a 16-point locking, bullet resistant, biometric fingerprint panic room door. 

Before Jensen could get his gear out to crack it, Cougar tapped the scanner, confirming it was off. He pulled the heavy door open, immediately shooting the two guards inside as if he was expecting them.

Jensen scratched his head. Not knowing what to make of it. “What is going on?... Are you a T-1000… What's my dog's name?”

Cougar just looked at him and chuckled.

“You laugh, but I'm legitimately concerned.”

Clay took point, announcing his entrance into the room, “Honey, I'm home.”

The occupants sat on a couch, Isla held a crying baby in her arms, wincing from her husband's hand on her thigh, squeezing painfully tight. The baby’s presence gave everyone pause. No one was aware there would be a child involved. There has been one surprise after another today.

“You lost, asshole. Now let them go and come quietly.” Clay slung his rifle over his shoulder and moved toward them, attempting to calmly apprehend the man.

The target pulled out a gun, shoving it into Isla’s side. “Stay where you are.”

“Don't be like that. This doesn't have to get more ugly than it already is.”

Seething, the man turned the gun on Clay, who discharged his sidearm, firing two shots into the arms dealer’s chest before he could blink. The group hurriedly moved Isla and her baby out of the building into one of their vehicles. Assuring the frightened woman that she was safe and going back to her father.  Pooch voiced his concern over their lack of carseat.

“Then drive extra carefully.” Clay smiled at the rescuees, “Let's get you both home.”

Riding in the second Humvee, Jake stared down a silent Cougar. He offered no explanation as to why Y/N's drones were on the property or who he had called, but it was pretty easy to connect the dots.

---------------

Hours later, Isla and her daughter were safely on their way home. At Cougar’s request, and after a stop at the motel for much needed showers, the team waited at a bar in the city. Leaving one chair empty, correctly guessing who they should be expecting.

Jake was a bundle of nerves. The hand gripping his empty glass started to cramp as he watched the door. He wondered if they had Boys II Men on the jukebox to help set the mood. ‘Would that be too presumptuous? She probably moved on by now. Has a new special someone in her life. Somebody else loving her, touching her, making her laugh.’ He wouldn’t blame her. His amnesia may have been temporary, but the damage he caused wasn't.

“You stare at that door any harder and it will burst into flames.” Aisha refilled her teammates' glass, encouraging him to relax and breathe.

“She'll be here soon, won't she? She's still coming, right?”

Y/N took a deep breath before entering the tavern. Her former teammates were easy to spot. Cougar gave her his number when she quit, asking her to keep in touch. It took a few months before she found the strength to do so. Even after learning of her exs' recovery, she couldn't bring herself to return yet. She wanted her Jakey back, but was scared of his rejection. Plus she was on assignment, the timing was off. The weight of this reunion wasn’t lost on her. “Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, you losers walk into mine.”

“Well that's unfair, you walked in after us.” Grinning ear to ear, Clay pulled her into a tight hug. “Missed ya, Y/N.”

“I had a few things to handle before getting here. So you beat me, but I've been dying to say it." She squeezed Clay tight before facing the rest. "I missed you all too. Sorry about earlier, I didn’t recognize you guys in all that fancy schmancy gear.”

Jake felt unsteady the moment she walked in, his blood roared in his ears. It was really her, his Angel, more gorgeous than ever. He watched her warm greeting with Clay, swallowing a lump in his throat. She was wearing the jacket he bought her. He hoped that was a good sign.

The group stood to welcome and embrace their former member. Jake waited through the exchange of pleasantries for his turn. Longing to throw his arms around his Angel and hold her close. It had been nearly a year since he’d done so. Ten months, three days and seventeen hours since he kissed her goodbye to go on that ill fated mission.

However, he noticed Y/N’s smile falter when their eyes met. Abandoning his desired hug, he forced a smile, awkwardly waved and sat back down.

“Hey Jake.” She crossed her arms, suddenly feeling self-conscious in front of her old love.

As everyone took their seats, Jensen glanced at the entrance then back at his Angel. “So are we um… waiting for anybody else?”

“Like who?”

“No-nobody. Nobody. Just wanted to make sure there was room for everybody. Everybody together again. It’s good to be together.” Jake took a long sip of his beer. His brain screamed with the knowledge that there was no boyfriend in the picture.

Y/N filled them in on her whereabouts since her departure. She’d gotten a job as private security for some rich asshole’s wife. Mostly involved keeping her in and others out. The winery was lovely, but the running of guns and heavier artillery, and the dabbling in human trafficking ruined the ambience. Of course, she knew he was dirty when she accepted the position, so Y/N did all she could to throw wrenches into his operations without being detected. Quietly dispersed his ill gotten gains into several hidden bank accounts, the biggest for Isla. She was helping the wife and baby prepare for a safe and covert escape. Simultaneously gathering evidence against the husband and his associates.

“It was all set to go down in a few days, and you guys just broke in and killed him. All that planning and hard work for nothing.” Y/N shoved Clay’s shoulder.

“Yeah, well it was the quickest way. Can’t argue that.”

“Well, I wasn’t going to let months of work go to complete waste. So I allowed you guys to be the heroes while I tied up some loose ends. That’s why I was late. Had to reroute the latest shipments, funnel the rest of the money to charities, victims and of course, a nice sum for myself. Scrubbed the camera footage and removed any evidence of us or Isla being there. Then I alerted the authorities to handle the rest. They’ll find all they need to take down the whole thing.” She took a deep breath, trilling her lips to exhale. “But I’m still mad at you about it.”

Aisha offered compensation, “I don’t think anyone here will object if you want in on the pallet of wine we rescued."

“Bold of you to assume I didn't take my own,” Y/N laughed.

After a few rounds, the Losers felt they were sufficiently caught up on each others lives. Pooch and Cougar announced they were going to play stripes and solids, inviting Aisha and Clay as their opponents. It was obvious that was an excuse to leave the ex-lovers alone.

Jake wasn’t going to turn down the opportunity. Putting on his most charming smile, he slid over next to Y/N. “G’day mate, fancy meeting you down unda. Maybe I can show you my down unda lata. I promise I'm koala-fied.” He tittered at his themed pickup line, but she didn't react. He desperately wanted to make her laugh. If she laughed, he knew things would be okay.

Trying to shake off the nervousness, he cleared his throat and continued his attempted seduction. “I like your jacket, where’d you get it?” He couldn’t backpedal fast enough seeing the alarmed look on her face. “Joke, really bad joke. Oh my god, I'm sorry. That was… Fuck,” he grimaced.

Y/N remained stiff and unsure. Wanting to give in to his flirting, but waiting for the other shoe to drop. The defeated look on Jake’s face broke her heart, so she attempted to bridge the divide with a safe topic, “How are Stephanie and Hannah?”

“They're good, they're good, um,” he scratched the back of neck, unsure how to proceed. His sister, having seen him at plenty of his worsts, forgave him instantly. His niece took a little bribery, but they were back to their usual shenanigans. “So, uh thanks for clearing the way for us back there, you know, after you shot at me.”

Her mouth dropped open, “Excuse me, I shot near you.”

“Tomato-tomahto.”

Cougar gestured with his eyes over to Jensen and Y/N, knowing he was striking out. Pooch got the hint. He called the man over and handed him his room key. Demanding he take it before he changed his mind. Jake practically ran back to the table to ask Y/N to his room to talk in private. He was amazed she agreed.

Aisha’s lips pursed watching the pair leave. “If he doesn't blow this, we'll have to put up with them being nauseatingly cute with each other again.”

“You don't want them to make up?” Clay rested his hands on her waist.

“I do,” she huffed. “Look, I don't know if I believe in that true love, princess bride, bullshit. But they are the closest I've ever seen to it... They belong together.”

“Agreed.”

---------------

The entire car ride to the motel passed in uncomfortable silence. Both anxious and unsure about the outcome of this night. Each stealing glances at the other. Jake noticed how hard her hand clenched around the steering wheel. Y/N caught sight of each time his hand reached for the radio before pulling away without turning it on.

Jake felt butterflies in his stomach as they pulled in the lot. Painful butterflies… Vampire butterflies. He drummed on his legs before hopping out of the vehicle. Y/N was quick to follow. They walked to the room without a word shared. Jake kept looking over his shoulder to make sure she was still with him. He swiped the keycard several times without success. The red light and negative beep mocking him. The twisting in his belly intensified. ‘Yep definitely vampire butterflies.’

Finally, the door flashed green and unlocked. He sauntered in, pretending to be calmer than he really was. Turning on the old Jensen charm, he bowed and waved his hand over the large bed. “Have a seat, m'lady. It’s not exactly the Ritz, but I hope it will be to your liking.”

“It's a nice room. We've stayed in much worse.” She spotted the bobblehead chihuahua on the nightstand, smiling coyly as she sat down. “So this is Pooch’s room?”

“Nah, it's mine. At least now it is.” He plopped down beside Y/N. “Sooo, how’ve ya been?”

“Good, until earlier today when I lost my job and residence cause some assholes charged in guns blazing.” Y/N sighed dramatically, “At least I can take solace in knowing Isla and her daughter are home safe. What about you?”

“I - I’m okay… most days. Um, so what's next for you? Seeing as how your life's been upended by a bunch of inconsiderate assholes.”

Y/N hummed, thinking of a response. “Well, I’ll have a lot of time on my hands, plus a bunch of money. So I'll probably make a few brothers and sisters for the F-team. Maybe one with a flamethrower.”

He turned to her with a lopsided grin. “That would be badass, like its maker.”

Y/N’s heart fluttered. He looked at her with such adoration, like she held all life's answers.  That, that was her Jakey.

“Looks like the possibilities are endless now that you're homeless and unemployed.” Jake’s eyes squeezed shut, cringing. Not meaning to sound so callous.

She snorted, “I'm sure I'll be fine. I always land on my feet.”

Jake breathed a sigh of relief that she found humor in the situation. “Definitely, definitely… But if you're interested, I know of a job opening. Fast paced, high stakes, danger… romance,” he whispered the last word, blushing. “It’s with a great bunch called the Losers. I could put in a good word for you. In fact, I'm sure the two of us could strong-arm the boss to agree to any demands we want.”

“I'd have to move back to the states.”

“If you need a place to stay, your key still works… I um, kept the house. After you quit, I kinda skipped town. Woke up in Ohio about a month later. At first I completely panicked cause I didn't know where you were or where I was. Then it hit me that I REALLY didn't know where you were… and it was all my fault,” his voice cracked, on the verge of crying.

Her head lowered, unable to hold back her own tears. ‘If I had only waited longer.’ “You must be so disappointed in me for not sticking it out when you weren't yourself. I tried, I swear I did, but it was too much. I should have been stronger and held on until you were you again. I’m so sorry, Jakey.”

“No, Angel no.” he wiped Y/N’s cheeks with his thumb. “There's nothing to forgive. You didn’t abandon me, I drove you away. I don't blame you at all. Hell, I deserved it. I was a total asshole.” Jake took a deep breath, “I was so angry… I was in pain, confused. I felt trapped with no room to breathe. Was sick of everybody telling me things I was supposed to already know. Telling me over and over to relax and let myself recover when I couldn't calm down to save my life. I kept fighting with my sister, was short with my niece, rude and snapped at everyone… And you got the worst of it… When I saw you, there was something there in the back of my mind, just out of reach. I didn’t know what it was, but I knew your presence made my headache worse. So I aimed my frustration at you and chased you off. I can't say how sorry I am.”

Y/N gently touched Jake’s head, running her fingers through his hair and rubbing small circles with her fingers. The urge to comfort him stronger than any apprehension she felt before.

Jake leaned into her touch, “It's all better now. I'm better… I wish this was a cartoon so you could've wacked me in the head again to reset my brain and stop all the bullshit I put everyone through.”

She pulled her hand away too soon. “I'm glad you're better… You really hurt me, Jake, but you have to know I already forgave you.”

His eyebrows shot up, “You have? That fast? Are you certain, I mean…"

“It took some time. Months to push through that pain, but I'd be the bigger jerk if I didn't take into consideration that it wasn't completely your fault. You literally had a doctor's note to prove it.” Y/N smiled at him, brushing away a few more escaped tears.

“So you don't hate me?”

“I could never hate you, Jakey. Do you hate me?”

“Impossible.”

“It's going to continue to sting for a while though.”

He nods in understanding. Jake got on his knees before her, taking her hands in his, his face more serious than she's ever seen him. “I need you to believe me when I say I have NEVER thought those horrible things about you. You didn't deserve any of the awful things I said and I swear I didn't mean them. You’re my perfect Angel and I love everything about you. Every curve, every line, each and every inch of beautiful skin because it’s yours. You are the most incredible person I ever met and I can't stand knowing that I made you feel otherwise for even a minute. Please say you believe me.”

“I do.”

Jake leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her lips. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have her back.

Y/N returned the brief kiss. This was a good start, but she was exhausted. “It’s been a long day. I don’t know about you, but I’m wiped out. Can we pretend, just for tonight, that we’re good? That everything is back to normal? We can work on us in the morning, and everyday after, but right now I just need you and unconsciousness.”

‘She wants to sleep here, in my bed, with me.’ Jake jumped up, enthusiastically agreeing. His pants down around his ankles in an instant.

Her face became heated at Jake’s sudden nudity. Y/N bit her lips, shyly telling him she was going to change in the bathroom.

Jake realized he was jumping the gun. He pulled up his batman boxers, removed his shoes and remaining clothing. He turned the toy dog around, just in case. “Sorry mini Pooch, no looky loos.”

Y/N walked out in panties and t-shirt, tugging it down in an attempt to hide more of herself as she skittered to the bed and got under the covers. Jake frowned, he needed to mend his Angel's heart, squash the insecurities he created. He scrambled up the bed, took his glasses off and sat them on the nightstand. Hesitating at the edge of the bed.

“You can come closer.”

He didn't need to be told twice, scooting over and joining her under the covers. He sat next to her, tentatively wrapping his arm around her shoulders. Intent on never leaving her side again. “Hey, tomorrow, do you want to check out this awesome mini golf course I found? Just the two of us.” The smile that adorned his face when she agreed fell. His voice lowered to a whisper, “I'm terrified of screwing this up.”

“So am I,” Y/N admitted, lacing her fingers with his.

Jake kissed the top of her head. “I don't think I ever told you.”

“Hmm?”

“The moment I knew this was it for me… Remember our first comic con together, we had that bet going on over how many people we could get to follow us doing the bunny hop around the convention center. I said five, you bet nine, and we ended up having thirty-five people in line behind us.” He chuckled at the memory. “We had Link, predator, three Spidermans, a wookiee in a bikini and just so many others. I was behind you, my hands on your hips having the time of my life. And there was a moment midjump, midlaugh, when you looked back at me, making sure I was having fun too, and I knew with absolute certainty that I was going to love you for the rest of my life. That you were the one for me and there'd never be anyone else. That hasn't changed.”

Y/N’s eyes watered, an unreadable expression on her face. Somewhere between disbelief and amusement. “I knew then too. Slowly throughout the day, then all at once in one defining moment. You were like a squirrel darting around, but you never lost me. You held my hand the whole time, squeezing it when you felt me get nervous. And when we parted for even a minute, you always found me. But the moment that sealed it was when we stopped for refreshments. I couldn't drink my water properly because of my costume and seeing my struggle, without a word, you slid behind the counter, grabbed a straw and placed it in my drink, holding it to my lips. It was something so small but so considerate. I've never had anyone be so sweet to me. I never had anyone look out for me like you did. I knew you were the one for me.”

Not trusting his voice, Jake kissed the hand he held.

“I love you, Jakey.”

His heart skipped a beat. “I love you, my Angel.” The reunited couple shared another kiss before lying down. Y/N snuggled into his chest and closed her eyes. Jake wrapped his arms around her. “Would it be wrong if I copped a feel right now?” 

She laughed, “I missed you so much.”

Jake blinked back tears. He thought he'd never hear that sound again. “I missed you more.”

A few peaceful minutes passed, her warm breath ghosting over his chest. He noticed she was trying to stay awake. Each time she began to drift, her eyes popped open to search for him. He rubbed her back to soothe her asleep. “I'm still here. I'm not going anywhere, Angel, I promise.” Jake made sure she was sleeping soundly, before he allowed himself to follow her into slumber. 

---------------

Heading to his original room to get his belongings, Pooch was halted by a hand on his shoulder. Cougar, refusing to let Jensen and Y/N be disturbed, turned his friend around and led him to their shared room.

Pooch glanced back with a frown, “I'll guess I’ll get it in the morning.”

Cougar nodded, smiled and patted his shoulder. Tomorrow was looking like a very good day. The Loser’s would be a full team once more and his best friend would have the love of his life back. He didn’t save his best man’s speech for nothing.

The End

A/N: Thank you to everyone that has read this version or the original. I appreciate you all. I’d love to know your thoughts.

Sequel: Love Me Forever

[goth-boots]

👹 Baki Headcanons 👹

Here's the second part :3

Wanted to add Alai Jr and Guevaru but I'm drawing a blank on them ┐⁠(⁠´⁠ー⁠｀⁠)⁠┌

But overall, I'm happy you liked the previous one 🥰

School Subjects (part 2)

Katsumi

- PE, PE, and lots of PE;

- "Oi, guys, are you tired already?? Oh, teacher, you're also...";

- But apart from it he liked club activities;

- Drama club kid ✨;

- Actually wanted to go to a karate club, parents said no;

- "Oh, guess I'm good at something else then karate... I mean, I'm good at everything! Who just said I suck? Come here, coward!";

- Didn't like bullies for bullying and their victims for being weak;

- Overall had bearable grades;

- Was a popular kid, so Katsumi pretty much liked going to school (despite the fact he had less time for his training in dojo 😔).

Kureha

- Biology and chemistry! The iconic pair;

- "Is perfect body real? It'd be cool to create one";

- Experimented on small animals and insects;

- Had friends in a chemistry club;

- Once poisoned his brother's lunch (poor Kosho 😔);

- You could always find him in a library;

- Liked watching other students playing sport games in the schoolyard;

- "Well, actually- 🤓☝🏽" (I'm sorry, I had to..);

- Always had pills, bandages and plasters.. and a scalpel(?) in his backpack;

- Didn't pay much attention to other subjects, so graduated with bearable grades.

Katou

- Surprisingly had an interest in crafts since he wanted to have a motorbike and be able to repair it (then realised that this subject won't help him with it);

- Liked physics (but only those topics that were about pistons, engines and etc.);

- "Can it help with repairing vehicles? If not, bye, I'm out 🙄";

- Was also good at PE;

- Street smart;

- Somehow had bearable grades;

- "Wow, your homework looks lame. The formula isn't right... I'm not trying to help you, dumbass!";

- Didn't like school, went there only for fun: to mock, to bully and to spend time with his classmates or acquaintances.

Sikorsky

- School who?;

- "I can read, I can write, I can count, I can stand for myself. What else do I need to learn? 🤔";

- Sometimes went to school (mother forced him to);

- Wasn't bored on crafts;

- Enjoyed knitting and beadwork;

- Teachers and other students hated him;

- Liked to play his classic guitar and one day took it with him to school;

- "There is something cool about these strings. You need to be strong enough to play even a simple song";

- Used schoolyard's horizontal bars to straighten his gripping power;

- Dropped out.

Bonus:

Kozue

- The English language master ✨;

- Has barely no accent;

- Likes geography and foreign languages;

- "Why didn't you bring me any souvenirs? :( "

- When someone mispronounces a word she'll correct them and try to help with pronunciation;

- Talked to Alai Jr a lot in order to improve her English;

- Enjoys learning about different cultures and countries;

- Plans to travel the world with Baki;

- "Have you seen how huge Yiwu Market is?? It's like another city in a city!";

- Also attends a judo club (sometimes asks Baki and his friends for some advice ).

[fun-k-board]

Some extra information on my universe's Sinister Six members.

First post here

I'm tempted to do entire fics on them but- I need to stop before I start overwhelming myself and getting too excited.

Doctor Olivia Odell

Likes - She's always had a strange fascination with ballet, always adores any dances that include sea themes, or long flowy silk.

Dislikes - Any vehicles, cars, helicopters, even bicycles make her nervous and uncomfortable because she has no control. Olivia used to walk everywhere, now, her tentacle situation can help with that.

Favourite food - Fruits, specifically strawberries and blueberries, she loves salads because they can be so diverse with what foods are included.

Least favourite food - Anything spicy, she's always preferred colder foods, and so something hot in temperature let alone flavour is just not her thing.

How does she text? - Usually her texts have very good grammar, even in crisis, she doesn't text often and prefers to use emails in which they're very professional and well structured.

Nationality - English.

What does she think of her fellow Sinister Six members? -

I... Have mixed feelings on the Green Goblin, I believe that his obsession with perfecting... Whatever he was trying to do, was rather immature, and not well thought out, but, I can understand his need for scientific discovery.

Frederick? His connections are useful, and his dedication to his family is admirable, but it gets in the way. He has a soft spot for those younger than him, which, to be fair, is a lot of people.

Marlene is far too bright, my eyes sting just looking at her. She's also very young and unsure. Her powers, however? Now, that's interesting.

Miguel, much like Frederick, has family issues that are too distracting, but, at least he's much more willing to be a firm leader and get the job done.

Mysterio... What do I say about Mysterio?... He's... His illusions are definitely useful...

Norman Osborn

Likes - He likes shiny objects, anything that can spin, and screams. They're loud, they drown out the voices.

Dislikes - Those two boys... He can't remember how he knows them, but he knows it's painful to see them.

Favourite food - Steak.

Least favourite food - Anything with too much grease.

How does he text? - Doesn't bother to check for spelling errors, punctuation, or grammar, and he's barely coherent. Yet, he insists on texting the Sinister Six group chat regularly.

Nationality - American.

What does he think of his fellow Sinister Six members?

Pretty hair, like little tentacles.

Sand is irritating, all over my skin... He does it on purpose, I know it.

Bright, loud... Perfect to listen to... Not fun to talk to.

Too quiet... He reminds me of... Of...

Shiny, I like the helmet, it spins.

Frederick Miller

Likes - Playing dolls with his daughter, he can't afford much, but his wife passed down a dollhouse with some cute little wooden peg dolls that they play with after school.

Dislikes - Soft beds, he's always preferred a hard surface to sleep on, maybe that's why his back is so horrible.

Favourite food - He likes cereal. It's cheap, the most important meal of the day, they give you a lot of what you need, plus, you can add anything to it.

Least favourite food - Honestly? Anything with an expensive price tag, the cheaper, the better it tastes.

How does he text? - He can't actually write too well and so uses the speech to text feature, it makes his texts get misunderstood regularly.

Nationality - American.

What does he think of his fellow Sinister Six members?

Olivia is strange, she's not a bad co-worker but she's intense. I don't know if she likes me, and I don't know if I like her. At the end of the day, she's just another criminal I gotta work with.

Uh... That guy...? Green Goblin, was it? He's... He's definitely a... Uhm... Person...?

Marlene reminds me of my kid, they're bright, fun, and honestly? I feel bad for them, they shouldn't be in this business, at all, from what they've told me, it was a complete accident.

Miguel, he's strict, commanding, but that's until you share a beer with the guy. He's damaged, I feel for him. Although, that doesn't make me like waking up at five AM any more.

I don't like how Mysterio acts around Marlene. He's just... Weird... At least his technology is useful.

Marlene Diegel

Likes - Ballet and classical music, they're very important to the history of theatre and the entertainment industry in general.

Dislikes - Dull colours and costumes that aren't flashy, in their opinion, if you're going to be a villain you may as well dress the part.

Favourite food - Cake, the ones with heavy icing and cherries on top.

Least favourite food - Chicken, especially with bones in it.

How do they text? - Lots of emoticons and exclamation / quotation marks, she's never professional texting even when it's about a serious mission.

Nationality - German.

What do they think of their fellow Sinister Six members?

I wish I was as smart as Olivia, I admire her, really, but she's honestly not very fun to be around. She's quiet, and kinda boring, but at least her tentacles can hold stuff for me.

Green Goblin gives me the creeps, he's literally green, I thought he was some kind of alien at first. I can't imagine purposefully doing that to yourself.

Frederick is nice to me, I don't know why, but he feels like my dad, or my brother, or just my friend, even if we never get to sit down and talk much, I always enjoy when we do.

Miguel also reminds me of my dad, but how he actually was, and not the feeling of a dad. He's very strict and he kinda scares me sometimes, but he's not doing it in a bad way, or at least I don't think he is?

Mysterio's got a fish bowl for a head, I admire the flair, especially the cape, but it is a little ridiculous, and that's coming from somebody with lighting patterns all over their clothes. There's something about him though, I can't place my finger on it!

Miguel Dominguez

Likes - Taking videos and photos, he originally wanted to be a photographer before joining the army, and he's never managed to get back into the hobby professionally.

Dislikes - Watching sports, he despises how boring it is and how you aren't even doing anything while watching.

Favourite food - Pizza, specifically with jalapenos, barbeque sauce and pineapple, it adds a spicy kick and an interesting flavour combination, which boosts his energy.

Least favourite food - Spaghetti, it was his wife's favourite, even the smell makes him sick to his stomach.

How does he text? - He uses emojis a lot and isn't well versed in how people typically use them, so tends to come off as strange. Very good grammar, but occasionally he will sacrifice a bullet point or capital letter once and a while.

Nationality - Mexican.

What does he think of his fellow Sinister Six members?

Olivia's smart, she put this scorpion tail on me, but, I know what it looks like when someone is being told to do something. That's all I'm sharing.

Green Goblin's more like a pet than a human, why would a man reduce himself to such an animalistic state of mind is beyond me. At least he follows orders, I suppose.

Frederick is a good, hardworking, man. Despite how he acts at first, he is very family centered, and I feel as if we both have an understanding of our relationship as co-workers.

I don't think Marlene's cut out for this line of work.

I appreciate Mysterio and his illusions, the technology is impressive, and he's even added advancements to my tail on more than one occasion. But, he's a bit too... Eccentric, for our missions.

Quinlan Blanchfield

Likes - Baking, specifically after a long day of working behind the stage, the lights, the music, it all gives him a rush, and baking cools him down.

Dislikes - The colour blue, it's always just annoyed him, it's too soft.

Favourite food - Cokie dough, and cookies, but, he's working on trying to convince Olivia to help him find a way to safely consume cookie dough, so far she's uninterested.

Least favourite food - Anything that's salty, he never adds salt to his baking, no matter how much it'll improve it.

How does he text? - Uses words that any regular person would need a dictionary to decipher, he's never had a spelling error or incorrect grammar, yet he also uses emojis occasionally.

Nationality - French.

What does he think of his fellow Sinister Six members?

Olivia is impressive, her advancements are far beyond any others, and I'm not just saying that because her boss funds us and our living situations.

Green Goblin interests me, his state of mind, or lack thereof, his costume, everything is such a point of intrigue, I can't wait to learn more when he starts to regain his memories.

The sand guy? He's annoying, I'm starting to think he's spilling sand into my costume on purpose.

Marlene...? No comment.

Miguel is a great leader, he's strong, strict, everything about him is intense, I admire him, I really do, but his schedules and god, the diet? Don't get me started.

[astercontrol]

I see posts saying "don't be self-deprecating about your own creative work! know your value! be proud and let others know you're proud!" and it always feels like the poster thinks this is some kind of self-esteem problem, when people talk their work down or don't talk about it at all.

But if you actually look at it from both the artist's perspective and the potential viewer's perspective for like 5 seconds each, you will see the problem.

I have made posts talking up my own creative work, and even linking to places where some of it can be bought. Those posts have pretty much never gotten more than a few notes, and have never led to any sales. And I think I know why, and it's not a problem I know how to solve.

I suspect this is because our minds are compensating real fast for the fact that ad blockers are getting less and less available/effective. Our Bullshit Detectors are getting active to the point of maybe overactive. If I see a post enthusiastically talking up something the poster has done-- my brain says THIS IS AN AD.

If it's blazed, that counts extra. If it has lots of notes, that counts extra. If it contains a link to something, that pretty much cements it.

And on one level it's true! Talking up something you've made, and encouraging others to go see/buy it, is the definition of advertising. And this is not necessarily bad! I am sure a lot of those self-promotional posts are from awesome people making something I'd actually be interested in!

BUT when my bullshit detector has flagged it, the warning tells my brain I need a reason to believe that, instead of the default conclusion that it's a scam or a mass-produced piece of soulless crap trying to pretend to be personal.

Only if OP is a person I actually know, will I trust it automatically. (Not the most recent reblogger, I know my mutuals can be duped sometimes. It has to be the Original Poster.) And once I've reblogged it, it's at one more degree of separation for the next person who sees it, and therefore less reason for them to trust.

Other reasons I can be persuaded to consider trusting it-- well, those are mostly things out of the creator's control. Like if other people are spontaneously commenting on the post saying that they like what the poster has made, and if those comments mention specific things they like about it, and those things are also things that specifically interest me.

And I'll still be reading those comments with a suspicious eye, because I know that they may be sockpuppets and/or people that the poster specifically asked to comment and help promote them.

And I think part of the reason that I'm unsuccessful at selling my (theoretically) sellable work is that I can't bring myself to cross that line. Because sock puppetry is obviously dishonest, and asking others to help promote my work feels like it's on the very edge of honesty-- my brain tells me that if they actually liked my work enough to promote it, they would not wait until I requested it (putting them in the coerced position of having to either hurt my feelings or say things that aren't from the heart).

(I'm from the Midwest, so almost every form of asking for anything feels like coercion to me for that reason. This is a topic for another day. Do not @ me about how I should handle it differently because that is NOT as easy as you think, and I have entire essays about why. You can ask for those if you really want to see them.)

If the post is primarily about something else-- like the process of creation in general, or the difficulty of reaching an audience and making a living as a self-employed artist-- and the link to the artist's own work is somewhere in there-- I can imagine giving it another look. Like, if this post included a link to something I make to sell, I can imagine someone checking it out.

But I'm not gonna do that, because my BS detector is already side-eyeing that sort of link, because there ARE posters who will use that as a sneaky vehicle for a promotion, and even if I agree with the whole post I'm not particularly likely to click a link just because of that-- if the post says nothing about what's actually in that link or whether I'd like it.

Honestly, it feels to me like a lot of positivity posts about self-esteem are missing the point. It feels like there's this default assumption that the reason someone doesn't reach for their goals is "a feeling that they don't deserve it"-- as opposed to "a well-founded belief that society is stacked against everyone who isn't already rich and successful, and that reaching for their goals will get them nothing at best and will result in society actively punishing them at worst."

Which is, in my experience, more common than you'd think.

[niffala]

Love Me Again

Pairing: Jake Jensen / Plus-size OFC (Maisie)

Summary: Jake’s back, but the Loser’s sixth member is still M.I.A.

Warnings: fluff, angst, feels, bad attempt at humor, guns, killings, mention of memory loss, post breakup, enemies to lovers

A/N: This is a sequel to You Loved Me Once. Reader insert version found here. No stealing, no reposts, no translations, no feeding to AIs. Comments, reblogs and likes are always welcome and appreciated. 

You Loved Me Once    Main Masterlist     

Clay’s unit awaited him in a motel parking lot in Adelaide. He secured their post mission rooms and returned keys in hand. "Okay, I got good news and bad news... We can all look forward to hot showers, clean sheets, and a complimentary breakfast. However, there were only three rooms available, so we will have to share.”

The responding groans of protest were expected. “Would you prefer to sleep on the ground for another night? No? So shut your pieholes.” Clay pocketed one of the keycards and set the remaining on the vehicle in front of him. “Aisha will be sharing with me. One room has a king, the other two double beds. Work it out amongst yourselves.”

Wordlessly, Jensen, Cougar and Pooch launched into a game of rock paper scissors. It had been weeks of travel, tents and living on top of one another. The victor cheered, scooping up the keycard to the private room.

“No! Come on, best two out of three.” When his friend shook his head, Jensen changed tactics, “I’ll give you that bitching crossbow I got last op if you switch with me… my watch… a hundred bucks. I’ll even throw in a foot massager, top of the line.”

“No way man. I need a night to myself. The Pooch has earned this.”

Jensen hung his head, accepting defeat. Bunking with his bestie wasn’t so bad, at least there were separate beds. Sharing one with Cougar wasn’t fun, the man was a cover hog. Jake was still grateful Clay reinstated him eight months ago. His teammates were ambivalent about him at first, but eventually everything returned to normal. Well, almost everything.

---------------

The Loser’s current operation led them to South Australia. They’d been hired by a distraught (and wealthy) father as part of a rescue team. He hadn’t seen nor heard from his daughter, Isla, in two years. She had been kidnapped by an illegal arms dealer who forced her into marriage. All prior attempts to get her back had failed. No amount of negotiation, payment, threats or pleading could sway the nefarious man to return her.

A rendezvous with the rest of the group at their makeshift campsite, plus a thirty minute drive east put the Humvees at the perimeter of the target’s estate. “Alright, you all know the drill,” Clay barked into the comms. “We get our asses in there, extricate the woman, send her back to her daddy, and take down anyone that stands in our way.”

Meanwhile their tech genius had already hacked into the system to disable the security and jam communications. Once the cameras powered down, Pooch floored it, ramming through the gate, the other two vehicles followed close behind.

“Eww... This guy’s got raptors picking at a bunch of bones and sinew on his property, always a good sign. You’d think he'd want to be more inconspicuous.”

Pooch’s face scrunched up at the image, “Pretty sure that's just a dead animal.”

Jake shook his head, pursing his lips in mock disapproval. “There's a lot of places to bury a body in a vineyard, all I’m saying. Keep the place tidy.”

“Thanks for the tip,” Aisha deadpanned.

“What do you call that… carrion, right?”

Clay grumbled from the front, “I'm close to calling it Jensen.”

“Yes, sir. I hear ya loud and clear. Shutting up…” he paused for dramatic effect, “now!”

---------------

“This whole goddamn thing’s going tits-up!” Clay had thought his team was prepared, ready to engage the moment they entered the property, but the intel their employer provided was crap. The location was more heavily armed than believed. His unit was at a disadvantage despite the extra help. Outmanned and outgunned, a few men were down and one lost within the first ten minutes.

“Well look at the bright side, we're outside enjoying some fresh...” Jensen’s quip went unfinished as he dove for cover. Incoming drones zoomed through the air spraying bullets. They must have been linked to an independent off sight system because the primary and secondary security had been obliterated. 

Jake focused the scope of his rifle, aiming at the nearest flying pest. “Here birdie birdie…” ‘Wait. That - that’s.’ Still in disbelief, he shouted, “Guys! Guys, that's one of Maisie’s drones!”

Pooch was skeptical, “How can you be sure?”

“Cause they’re like my step kids. Franny, Freddy, Felix, Frank and Foxy. It’s been painted, but that's Frank,” he insisted before taking off, sprinting toward the assailing device.

Clay eyes widened at the other man’s actions, “Jensen, you realize it's shooting at us! Stand down!” Seeing his order ignored, he screamed at the rest of his group, “Cover his dumb ass.”

Disregarding his boss, Cougar pulled out his cellphone and spoke in hushed tones to the person on the other end.

Aisha grit her teeth at her teammate while continuing to fire at their opponents. “That idiot lost his mind, now our sniper decides to make a phone call mid battle. Are you ordering a pizza?”

“Don't forget the breadsticks,” Pooch chimed in. Laughing at the increasing absurdity of the situation.

Jake removed his helmet and dropped his weapon. Frantically jumping and waving his arms, repeatedly calling out ‘Angel.’ A drone moved in and shot at his feet, before slightly pulling back, continuing to hover above him.

“Understood. Our apologies. Copy that.” Cougar hung up and waited.

The remaining drones collected above Jensen’s head. The hair on the back of his neck stood on end. However the moment he dreaded never came. The devices turned and began taking out the guards with quick precision. When only Clay’s men remained, they flew off. 

Sticking to the plan, the team continued to the manor. Wary of a possible ambush awaiting beyond the front door, in lieu of breaking it down, Clay instructed Jensen and Cougar to go through the nearest second floor windows, clear the immediate area and let them in.

Cougar nodded, but walked right through the unlocked door instead. To everyone’s shock but his, it was clear. Raising his chin toward the staircase, he proceeded up them.

“Okay, so we're just following him then?”

Clay shrugged, “Good enough for me.” He had the Losers head upstairs, leaving the rest of the group to keep watch at the entrance.

Cougar seemingly knew exactly where to go. Navigating the twists and turns of the large house with ease. Any lingering guards they came across were swiftly handled. Within the master bedroom’s closet, hidden behind sliding shelving they found a 16-point locking, bullet resistant, biometric fingerprint panic room door. 

Before Jensen could get his gear out to crack it, Cougar tapped the scanner, confirming it was off. He pulled the heavy door open, immediately shooting the two guards inside as if he was expecting them.

Jensen scratched his head. Not knowing what to make of it. “What is going on?... Are you a T-1000… What's my dog's name?”

Cougar just looked at him and chuckled.

“You laugh, but I'm legitimately concerned.”

Clay took point, announcing his entrance into the room, “Honey, I'm home.”

The occupants sat on a couch, Isla held a crying baby in her arms, wincing from her husband's hand on her thigh, squeezing painfully tight. The baby’s presence gave everyone pause. No one was aware there would be a child involved. There has been one surprise after another today.

“You lost, asshole. Now let them go and come quietly.” Clay slung his rifle over his shoulder and moved toward them, attempting to calmly apprehend the man.

The target pulled out a gun, shoving it into Isla’s side. “Stay where you are.”

“Don't be like that. This doesn't have to get more ugly than it already is.”

Seething, the man turned the gun on Clay, who discharged his sidearm, firing two shots into the arms dealer’s chest before he could blink. The group hurriedly moved Isla and her baby out of the building into one of their vehicles. Assuring the frightened woman that she was safe and going back to her father.  Pooch voiced his concern over their lack of carseat.

“Then drive extra carefully.” Clay smiled at the rescuees, “Let's get you both home.”

Riding in the second Humvee, Jake stared down a silent Cougar. He offered no explanation as to why Maisie's drones were on the property or who he had called, but it was pretty easy to connect the dots.

---------------

Hours later, Isla and her daughter were safely on their way home. At Cougar’s request, and after a stop at the motel for much needed showers, the team waited at a bar in the city. Leaving one chair empty, correctly guessing who they should be expecting.

Jake was a bundle of nerves. The hand gripping his empty glass started to cramp as he watched the door. He wondered if they had Boys II Men on the jukebox to help set the mood. ‘Would that be too presumptuous? She probably moved on by now. Has a new special someone in her life. Somebody else loving her, touching her, making her laugh.’ He wouldn’t blame her. His amnesia may have been temporary, but the damage he caused wasn't.

“You stare at that door any harder and it will burst into flames.” Aisha refilled her teammates' glass, encouraging him to relax and breathe.

“She'll be here soon, won't she? She's still coming, right?”

Maisie took a deep breath before entering the tavern. Her former teammates were easy to spot. Cougar gave her his number when she quit, asking her to keep in touch. It took a few months before she found the strength to do so. Even after learning of her exs' recovery, she couldn't bring herself to return yet. She wanted her Jakey back, but was scared of his rejection. Plus she was on assignment, the timing was off. The weight of this reunion wasn’t lost on her. “Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, you losers walk into mine.”

“Well that's unfair, you walked in after us.” Grinning ear to ear, Clay pulled her into a tight hug. “Missed ya, Maise.”

“I had a few things to handle before getting here. So you beat me, but I've been dying to say it." She squeezed Clay tight before facing the rest. "I missed you all too. Sorry about earlier, I didn’t recognize you guys in all that fancy schmancy gear.”

Jake felt unsteady the moment she walked in, his blood roared in his ears. It was really her, his Angel, more gorgeous than ever. He watched her warm greeting with Clay, swallowing a lump in his throat. She was wearing the jacket he bought her. He hoped that was a good sign.

The group stood to welcome and embrace their former member. Jake waited through the exchange of pleasantries for his turn. Longing to throw his arms around his Angel and hold her close. It had been nearly a year since he’d done so. Ten months, three days and seventeen hours since he kissed her goodbye to go on that ill fated mission.

However, he noticed Maisie’s smile falter when their eyes met. Abandoning his desired hug, he forced a smile, awkwardly waved and sat back down.

“Hey Jake.” She crossed her arms, suddenly feeling self-conscious in front of her old love.

As everyone took their seats, Jensen glanced at the entrance then back at his Angel. “So are we um… waiting for anybody else?”

“Like who?”

“No-nobody. Nobody. Just wanted to make sure there was room for everybody. Everybody together again. It’s good to be together.” Jake took a long sip of his beer. His brain screamed with the knowledge that there was no boyfriend in the picture.

Maisie filled them in on her whereabouts since her departure. She’d gotten a job as private security for some rich asshole’s wife. Mostly involved keeping her in and others out. The winery was lovely, but the running of guns and heavier artillery, and the dabbling in human trafficking ruined the ambience. Of course, she knew he was dirty when she accepted the position, so Maisie did all she could to throw wrenches into his operations without being detected. Quietly dispersed his ill gotten gains into several hidden bank accounts, the biggest for Isla. She was helping the wife and baby prepare for a safe and covert escape. Simultaneously gathering evidence against the husband and his associates.

“It was all set to go down in a few days, and you guys just broke in and killed him. All that planning and hard work for nothing.” Maisie shoved Clay’s shoulder.

“Yeah, well it was the quickest way. Can’t argue that.”

“Well, I wasn’t going to let months of work go to complete waste. So I allowed you guys to be the heroes while I tied up some loose ends. That’s why I was late. Had to reroute the latest shipments, funnel the rest of the money to charities, victims and of course, a nice sum for myself. Scrubbed the camera footage and removed any evidence of us or Isla being there. Then I alerted the authorities to handle the rest. They’ll find all they need to take down the whole thing.” She took a deep breath, trilling her lips to exhale. “But I’m still mad at you about it.”

Aisha offered compensation, “I don’t think anyone here will object if you want in on the pallet of wine we rescued."

“Bold of you to assume I didn't take my own,” Maisie laughed.

After a few rounds, the Losers felt they were sufficiently caught up on each others lives. Pooch and Cougar announced they were going to play stripes and solids, inviting Aisha and Clay as their opponents. It was obvious that was an excuse to leave the ex-lovers alone.

Jake wasn’t going to turn down the opportunity. Putting on his most charming smile, he slid over next to Maisie. “G’day mate, fancy meeting you down unda. Maybe I can show you my down unda lata. I promise I'm koala-fied.” He tittered at his themed pickup line, but she didn't react. He desperately wanted to make her laugh. If she laughed, he knew things would be okay.

Trying to shake off the nervousness, he cleared his throat and continued his attempted seduction. “I like your jacket, where’d you get it?” He couldn’t backpedal fast enough seeing the alarmed look on her face. “Joke, really bad joke. Oh my god, I'm sorry. That was… Fuck,” he grimaced.

Maisie remained stiff and unsure. Wanting to give in to his flirting, but waiting for the other shoe to drop. The defeated look on Jake’s face broke her heart, so she attempted to bridge the divide with a safe topic, “How are Stephanie and Hannah?”

“They're good, they're good, um,” he scratched the back of neck, unsure how to proceed. His sister, having seen him at plenty of his worsts, forgave him instantly. His niece took a little bribery, but they were back to their usual shenanigans. “So, uh thanks for clearing the way for us back there, you know, after you shot at me.”

Her mouth dropped open, “Excuse me, I shot near you.”

“Tomato-tomahto.”

Cougar gestured with his eyes over to Jensen and Maisie, knowing he was striking out. Pooch got the hint. He called the man over and handed him his room key. Demanding he take it before he changed his mind. Jake practically ran back to the table to ask Maisie to his room to talk in private. He was amazed she agreed.

Aisha’s lips pursed watching the pair leave. “If he doesn't blow this, we'll have to put up with them being nauseatingly cute with each other again.”

“You don't want them to make up?” Clay rested his hands on her waist.

“I do,” she huffed. “Look, I don't know if I believe in that true love, princess bride, bullshit. But they are the closest I've ever seen to it... They belong together.”

“Agreed.”

---------------

The entire car ride to the motel passed in uncomfortable silence. Both anxious and unsure about the outcome of this night. Each stealing glances at the other. Jake noticed how hard her hand clenched around the steering wheel. Maisie caught sight of each time his hand reached for the radio before pulling away without turning it on.

Jake felt butterflies in his stomach as they pulled in the lot. Painful butterflies… Vampire butterflies. He drummed on his legs before hopping out of the vehicle. Maisie was quick to follow. They walked to the room without a word shared. Jake kept looking over his shoulder to make sure she was still with him. He swiped the keycard several times without success. The red light and negative beep mocking him. The twisting in his belly intensified. ‘Yep definitely vampire butterflies.’

Finally, the door flashed green and unlocked. He sauntered in, pretending to be calmer than he really was. Turning on the old Jensen charm, he bowed and waved his hand over the large bed. “Have a seat, m'lady. It’s not exactly the Ritz, but I hope it will be to your liking.”

“It's a nice room. We've stayed in much worse.” She spotted the bobblehead chihuahua on the nightstand, smiling coyly as she sat down. “So this is Pooch’s room?”

“Nah, it's mine. At least now it is.” He plopped down beside Maisie. “Sooo, how’ve ya been?”

“Good, until earlier today when I lost my job and residence cause some assholes charged in guns blazing.” Maisie sighed dramatically, “At least I can take solace in knowing Isla and her daughter are home safe. What about you?”

“I - I’m okay… most days. Um, so what's next for you? Seeing as how your life's been upended by a bunch of inconsiderate assholes.”

Maisie hummed, thinking of a response. “Well, I’ll have a lot of time on my hands, plus a bunch of money. So I'll probably make a few brothers and sisters for the F-team. Maybe one with a flamethrower.”

He turned to her with a lopsided grin. “That would be badass, like its maker.”

Maisie’s heart fluttered. He looked at her with such adoration, like she held all life's answers.  That, that was her Jakey.

“Looks like the possibilities are endless now that you're homeless and unemployed.” Jake’s eyes squeezed shut, cringing. Not meaning to sound so callous.

She snorted, “I'm sure I'll be fine. I always land on my feet.”

Jake breathed a sigh of relief that she found humor in the situation. “Definitely, definitely… But if you're interested, I know of a job opening. Fast paced, high stakes, danger… romance,” he whispered the last word, blushing. “It’s with a great bunch called the Losers. I could put in a good word for you. In fact, I'm sure the two of us could strong-arm the boss to agree to any demands we want.”

“I'd have to move back to the states.”

“If you need a place to stay, your key still works… I um, kept the house. After you quit, I kinda skipped town. Woke up in Ohio about a month later. At first I completely panicked cause I didn't know where you were or where I was. Then it hit me that I REALLY didn't know where you were… and it was all my fault,” his voice cracked, on the verge of crying.

Her head lowered, unable to hold back her own tears. ‘If I had only waited longer.’ “You must be so disappointed in me for not sticking it out when you weren't yourself. I tried, I swear I did, but it was too much. I should have been stronger and held on until you were you again. I’m so sorry, Jakey.”

“No, Angel no.” he wiped Maisie’s cheeks with his thumb. “There's nothing to forgive. You didn’t abandon me, I drove you away. I don't blame you at all. Hell, I deserved it. I was a total asshole.” Jake took a deep breath, “I was so angry… I was in pain, confused. I felt trapped with no room to breathe. Was sick of everybody telling me things I was supposed to already know. Telling me over and over to relax and let myself recover when I couldn't calm down to save my life. I kept fighting with my sister, was short with my niece, rude and snapped at everyone… And you got the worst of it… When I saw you, there was something there in the back of my mind, just out of reach. I didn’t know what it was, but I knew your presence made my headache worse. So I aimed my frustration at you and chased you off. I can't say how sorry I am.”

Maisie gently touched Jake’s head, running her fingers through his hair and rubbing small circles with her fingers. The urge to comfort him stronger than any apprehension she felt before.

Jake leaned into her touch, “It's all better now. I'm better… I wish this was a cartoon so you could've wacked me in the head again to reset my brain and stop all the bullshit I put everyone through.”

She pulled her hand away too soon. “I'm glad you're better… You really hurt me, Jake, but you have to know I already forgave you.”

His eyebrows shot up, “You have? That fast? Are you certain, I mean…"

“It took some time. Months to push through that pain, but I'd be the bigger jerk if I didn't take into consideration that it wasn't completely your fault. You literally had a doctor's note to prove it.” Maisie smiled at him, brushing away a few more escaped tears.

“So you don't hate me?”

“I could never hate you, Jakey. Do you hate me?”

“Impossible.”

“It's going to continue to sting for a while though.”

He nods in understanding. Jake got on his knees before her, taking her hands in his, his face more serious than she's ever seen him. “I need you to believe me when I say I have NEVER thought those horrible things about you. You didn't deserve any of the awful things I said and I swear I didn't mean them. You’re my perfect Angel and I love everything about you. Every curve, every line, each and every inch of beautiful skin because it’s yours. You are the most incredible person I ever met and I can't stand knowing that I made you feel otherwise for even a minute. Please say you believe me.”

“I do.”

Jake leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her lips. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have her back.

Maisie returned the brief kiss. This was a good start, but she was exhausted. “It’s been a long day. I don’t know about you, but I’m wiped out. Can we pretend, just for tonight, that we’re good? That everything is back to normal? We can work on us in the morning, and everyday after, but right now I just need you and unconsciousness.”

‘She wants to sleep here, in my bed, with me.’ Jake jumped up, enthusiastically agreeing. His pants down around his ankles in an instant.

Her face became heated at Jake’s sudden nudity. Maisie bit her lips, shyly telling him she was going to change in the bathroom.

Jake realized he was jumping the gun. He pulled up his batman boxers, removed his shoes and remaining clothing. He turned the toy dog around, just in case. “Sorry mini Pooch, no looky loos.”

Maisie walked out in panties and t-shirt, tugging it down in an attempt to hide more of herself as she skittered to the bed and got under the covers. Jake frowned, he needed to mend his Angel's heart, squash the insecurities he created. He scrambled up the bed, took his glasses off and sat them on the nightstand. Hesitating at the edge of the bed.

“You can come closer.”

He didn't need to be told twice, scooting over and joining her under the covers. He sat next to her, tentatively wrapping his arm around her shoulders. Intent on never leaving her side again. “Hey, tomorrow, do you want to check out this awesome mini golf course I found? Just the two of us.” The smile that adorned his face when she agreed fell. His voice lowered to a whisper, “I'm terrified of screwing this up.”

“So am I,” Maisie admitted, lacing her fingers with his.

Jake kissed the top of her head. “I don't think I ever told you.”

“Hmm?”

“The moment I knew this was it for me… Remember our first comic con together, we had that bet going on over how many people we could get to follow us doing the bunny hop around the convention center. I said five, you bet nine, and we ended up having thirty-five people in line behind us.” He chuckled at the memory. “We had Link, predator, three Spidermans, a wookiee in a bikini and just so many others. I was behind you, my hands on your hips having the time of my life. And there was a moment midjump, midlaugh, when you looked back at me, making sure I was having fun too, and I knew with absolute certainty that I was going to love you for the rest of my life. That you were the one for me and there'd never be anyone else. That hasn't changed.”

Maisie’s eyes watered, an unreadable expression on her face. Somewhere between disbelief and amusement. “I knew then too. Slowly throughout the day, then all at once in one defining moment. You were like a squirrel darting around, but you never lost me. You held my hand the whole time, squeezing it when you felt me get nervous. And when we parted for even a minute, you always found me. But the moment that sealed it was when we stopped for refreshments. I couldn't drink my water properly because of my costume and seeing my struggle, without a word, you slid behind the counter, grabbed a straw and placed it in my drink, holding it to my lips. It was something so small but so considerate. I've never had anyone be so sweet to me. I never had anyone look out for me like you did. I knew you were the one for me.”

Not trusting his voice, Jake kissed the hand he held.

“I love you, Jakey.”

His heart skipped a beat. “I love you, my Angel.” The reunited couple shared another kiss before lying down. Maisie snuggled into his chest and closed her eyes. Jake wrapped his arms around her. “Would it be wrong if I copped a feel right now?” 

She laughed, “I missed you so much.”

Jake blinked back tears. He thought he'd never hear that sound again. “I missed you more.”

A few peaceful minutes passed, her warm breath ghosting over his chest. He noticed she was trying to stay awake. Each time she began to drift, her eyes popped open to search for him. He rubbed her back to soothe her asleep. “I'm still here. I'm not going anywhere, Angel, I promise.” Jake made sure she was sleeping soundly, before he allowed himself to follow her into slumber. 

---------------

Heading to his original room to get his belongings, Pooch was halted by a hand on his shoulder. Cougar, refusing to let Jensen and Maisie be disturbed, turned his friend around and led him to their shared room.

Pooch glanced back with a frown, “I'll guess I’ll get it in the morning.”

Cougar nodded, smiled and patted his shoulder. Tomorrow was looking like a very good day. The Loser’s would be a full team once more and his best friend would have the love of his life back. He didn’t save his best man’s speech for nothing.

The End

A/N: A special thank you to everyone that has read this. I appreciate you all and I’d love to know your thoughts.

Sequel: Love Me Forever

[drifting-pieces-blog-blog]

Breaking down the comics: BENDIS. PART 2.

READING THINGS SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO! 

See Part 1 HERE. 

And we’re back! Weeeee! 

Here’s some more brief Comic book history! 

Alright, so it's always been brought up that ALL the heroes live in New York and no where else. 

So back in 1985, they came up with "The West Coast Avengers". They operated out of Palos Verdes, California. 

A lot of readers considered them to be the B team of heroes even though it had bigger names. 

It had Hawkeye, Mockingbird, Wonder Man, Tigra, and Iron Man. 

It ran until about 1994 then petered out. 

It was revived in 2018 with Hawkeye, Kate Bishop, Gwenpool, America Chavez, Quintin Quire, and Johnny Watts. 

I know who, like... half those people are. 

It got canceled again in 2019. 

So... There is a chance that Moon Knight and Echo was Marvel testing out the waters for another California based set of heroes. 

Considering how this run ends… I’m going to say they kinda sabotaged themselves? 

Issue #6! 

Not a fan of this cover either. Is his art going down hill? Was he getting rushed? If this was the case, why did he keep doing his own covers? Why are his hands so big and weird there? Why is everyone staring at the reader so disapprovingly? 

TRIGGER WARNINGS: It’s occurred to me that I need to figure out trigger warnings for this run, because they are there. They aren’t as straightforward as Bemis’ run was. Or even as blatantly obvious as Aaron’s. But I know they are there. How? Because I inadvertently triggered myself pretty hard with this issue so if I got triggered, I know there needs to be a warning. 

These are going to be a bit more specific and a bit more vague. And I know this because I have some VERY specific triggers that aren’t exactly commonplace. 

**Dissociation, possible derealization, possible depersonalization, mentally struggling, cry for help unheard…. Something in that general thought house without being overly obvious. Does that make sense? These next issues are going to get very difficult when it comes to how he starts to depict Marc’s mental illness and how much he starts to drown without anyone helping him. As well as wrongly depicting WHAT mental illness he has and overall generalizing mental illness as a whole into one big problem**

This is going to be your only warning. Please treat yourself with kindness. 

SO! 

Opening up, we find ourselves back with Buck, who is examining the Ultron head while he has the news on in the background. 

On the news: "Has the mysterious Moon Knight made Los Angeles his new home?" 

I love how Moon Knight is still always 'mysterious'. 

"Residents of West Hollywood were treated to a very rare super hero appearance as Moon Knight had a run-in with local law enforcement." 

Then we see amature footage of Moon Knight zooming by on the back of a car. 

....This is not the first or last time we have ever seen him just standing on the top of a vehicle that's driving away. He has a ....HISTORY...with vehicles. 

"Has Moon Knight made Los Angeles his quote unquote Territory? And is this the beginning of a New West Coast Avengers?" 

Buck pauses and calls up a secret number then gives them a code. 

The person on the phone tells them that they "No longer have that item in stock". 

He declares a "Code White" and asks to speak to agent 13.

They tell him that they'll see what they can do then hang up. 

Hmmmm...

Back at Marc's place, we see him taking a shower. Lots of blood to wash off. Not to mention the punched up face. 

Captain America tells him to get sleep. 

This is why Captain America needed to be Steven Grant. He’s trying to take care of them. To take care of the body. To come up with strategy and plans. Also trying to take care of Marc, who is spiraling a bit. Alright, and we're back with Night Shift. 

They're about to explain to the boss lady Snapdragon why they failed and had to be bailed out of jail. 

"I'm looking for one stripper and one C-List crazy Super Hero and I sent the, let's see, 1-2-3-4-5-6 of you. I sent SIX against TWO." 

(Everyone always makes this mistake against Moon Knight. He fights best against groups. One big guy? He's gonna get his ass handed to him a bit. But a group? Half the time his fighting style ends up using the group against themselves! He is trained in the art of fighting when the odds are not in his favor! HE WAS A SPECIALIST FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.) 

The leader, Tik Tok? Asks to make it up and face Moon Knight again at no additional charge. 

The BIG boss isn't interested. In fact, he's there himself. 

He shows up and the team is pretty scared. 

We've seen this guy's silhouette a couple times and I gotta say.... I have not yet figured out who he is. If he's supposed to be some major player, I'm missing it. Supposedly he says he's faced Moon Knight before. We'll see if I'm impressed by the big reveal when we finally get it. 

Here’s a picture. Let’s see if you figure it out before me. 

Mystery Boss calls them all idiots when they have no idea what he wants from Moon Knight. 

One of the Night Shift members gets upset and mouths off a bit. 

Mystery Boss basically sets them all on fire and does to them what he did to the guy on the boat in the first issue. Turns them into a large pile of ash. 

He tells Snapdragon to hire better people so he doesn't have to keep getting his hands dirty then disappears. 

Back with Marc, we see him sleeping fitfully and having nightmares. 

He wakes with a start and finds Echo in his room. 

"I didn't want to wake you." 

He stares at her, REALLY stares at her for a moment. 

"I just came here to say...Are you okay?"

"Are...Are you real?" 

"What? What are you--Don't!" Marc touches her to see if she's real and she recoils. 

"What is WRONG with you? What do you mean: Am I real?" 

"'Msorry, Echo."

"What is wrong with you?" 

"I was having very...Vivid dreams." 

PAUSE: So... This part breaks my heart a little. Because we VERY seldom see Marc suffering the side effects of his PTSD. We don't get to see him break down, have flashbacks, have nightmares, or question what he's seeing. We don't see his dissociative episodes, his derealization moments. We only ever see him angry. We don't get to see him STRUGGLE. 

And in this moment, you feel the hope for a good comic. You feel the "This could be something" and it is so disappointing that it isn't. And maybe that's part of why this run is, to me anyways, listed as a HORRID run and not just a mediocre run. The 'what if' of seeing...REALLY seeing Marc Spector is just sitting right out of reach and it makes me want to cry. 

UNPAUSE. 

Marc turns away from Echo. 

She tells him to look at her so she can read his lips. 

"Did you come here to apologize for punching me in the face?" 

"Yes." 

"Repeatedly." 

"Yes." 

"I'm sorry I kissed you without permission. I was--I was caught up in the moment. I clearly misread the signs." 

She tells him that he didn't entirely misread the moment. 

But the moment has passed. 

She notes that the lifestyle is getting to her and she isn't acting in ways that exactly 'resemble what I think of myself.'

Marc assures her that this is common for people in their line of work. Especially since she was undercover and having trouble getting out of that role and back into who she really is. 

I'd also like to point out that Marc has REPEATEDLY been asked what his problem is and he has avoided the question every single time. It's to the point where perhaps that so many people ask him that as a means to discriminate against him or as a way to just call him crazy without actually wanting to help or understand, that maybe he's given up trying to explain himself. 

She apologizes and asks if she can stay with him since she has no where safe to go. 

"Why DO you have a giant empty house?" 

"Probably for the exact same reason you have NO house." 

"What does that mean?" 

"Because I--I don't know how to act normal and I'm doing the best I can to keep up appearances." 

(Fuuuuck. When it's good, it's very very good and it's why when it goes bad it's SO BAD. He could have done so much better! I think anyone with mental health issues can relate to this. Doing the best they can to appear to be doing fine, but not sure what that looks like so they just make themselves empty.) 

Another issue is that while this is such a very good scene.... Bendis has done zero research onto D.I.D other than probably watching a few movies or a quick google. So his take on Marc's failing mental health at this point is VERY general...and currently bordering on a completely DIFFERENT psychosis all together. And this is going to start becoming a problem as the comic goes on. 

I'd very much like to remind everyone of Moon Knight issue # 9-10 by Moench (Reviewed HERE). When Khonshu's statue was destroyed and Marc had a total meltdown. 

THAT was far more accurate and done so wonderfully. 

ANYWAYS....

Echo goes to use his shower and Marc takes a moment then finds the Avengers in his room with the Helicarrier outside. 

Captain America: "Moon Knight." 

"Wh-What's...What's going on?" 

"You don't answer your phone." 

"My phone?" 

"You're an Avenger. I need you to answer when I call." 

Clearly Marc is distressed by this. 

This time there are more than Captain America, Spider-man, and Wolverine. Captain Marvel, Black Widow, and Luke Cage are now there. 

Is this real? Or is the problem expanding? 

Captain America: "Are you okay?" 

Spider-man: "Dude! You live here? Can I have a student loan?" 

Marc: "It's real. It's... It's really you." 

Captain America: "So, the BIG question is-What are you doing with this?" 

Luke Cage holds up the Ultron head. 

And Marc freezes up. In fact, one could argue that he suddenly VERY heavily dissociates. He still can’t tell if this is real or just the other people he’s been seeing that he knows aren’t real. 

It's actually painful to read because you can tell he's NOT okay, and while they ask him repeatedly if he's okay, they do nothing about it and make no other acknowledgement that he isn't well. 

The Avengers everyone! 

At this point, Maya comes back from the shower. 

"Oh. The Avengers. Captain America." 

This snaps Marc out of it. He asks what they are doing here. 

Turns out Buck called them to say "Moon Knight gave him this Head of Ultron for safekeeping." 

"Buck called you." 

"He was worried about you and thought this was too dangerous an item to be tucked away in the prop department of a TV show set." 

"So did she. She called us." 

Maya had called to ask who Moon Knight was earlier. 

Marc tells them all to leave. 

"You--You all have to leave here. You--You're blowing my cover. You have the whole damn Quinjet out there!" 

"It's cloaked." 

Captain America asks why they even have an Ultron head. 

Marc explains that there is an LA Kingpin, whose identity he has yet to discover. 

Captain America expresses concern that this is a big problem and that it should be an Avenger's problem.

Marc tells them that this is NOT an Avenger's problem. The new Kingpin is trying to stake a claim, not face the Avengers and if they start causing problems then the guy will just 'pull up stakes and get out of town'. 

And now we have another panel that a lot of you have seen floating around! I love finding context for silly panels like this! 

Captain America confirms with Maya that she is teaming up with Moon Knight as Echo. 

He asks for the next step. 

"I'm going to offer him the head of Ultron. And he's going to come get it himself. And then I'm going to bring him down. I promise I'll call the second I need you." 

Cap points out that this is a VERY dangerous move because if he gets the Ultron up and running...An AI that wants to wipe out humanity....

Sure you do, Marc….Sure you do…

END ISSUE! 

This one was rough. It’s hard to watch him very obviously start to be in distress to the point where people NOTICE and still no one is willing to talk about it because mental health is SO taboo to talk about in this group. Perhaps in this world. 

Let’s see where the next issue takes us. 

ISSUE # 7

This is an interesting cover. I think that’s supposed to be Snapdragon? She’s kinda hovering over the cape though, and not really standing on it. The perspective is a little off. I don’t know… I find the ones where they just stare ahead to be unnerving. 

Looking at the intro on the title page we got more problems. 

"After a brutal fight, Moon Knight and Echo are victorious and manage to evade the police. Regrouping at Marc's mansion, they receive an unexpected visit from the Avengers. Despite his televised getaway from the police, Marc assures them he has the situation with the Kingpin well in hand, along with all of his other personalities." 

I'm frowning so hard right now. 

We open on Buck again. 

"You told on me, Buck?" Marc addresses him. 

"They got ahold of you already?" 

"Yeah. The Avengers came to see me." 

Buck apologizes. He didn't know what else to do. 

Marc is disappointed, saying he thought Buck knew how to keep a secret and could help him. 

"I like you, I do. And I dig what you're about. In theory. But, and I'm gonna be honest with you..." 

"Please." 

"I think there's something really wrong with you, and normally I wouldn't judge, but you're playing a dangerous game." 

Ouch. The repeated telling of 'there's something wrong with you' is just more salt in the wound. 

Marc gives him the Ultron head, telling him to keep it then. 

Buck is shocked that the Avengers let him keep it. 

"Captain America trusts me. Which you'd think would be enough to get anyone to trust me. I wonder what I would have to do to get you to." 

"It ain't that I don't trust YOU." 

"Sure it is." 

"It's that I don't think you're all right. Bipolar, aspergers...I don't know what..." 

This...This is about to get VERY uncomfortable. 

That’s right… “I hear voices.” 

"What do the...Voices tell you to do?" 

"In general...Make the world better." 

"Maybe you should see someone, get that evened out." 

"I don't WANT to." 

"See, that's where you lose me..." 

"I dress up like a little-known Moon God and strike fear in the hearts of men... Did you really think I was normal? Do you think that any of us...ANy of the costumes are normal? We're all crazy." 

Uuuuggghhhhhh noooooooo

"But we're the exact kind of crazy that the world needs right now. The EXACT kind." 

No. Bendis...No. Marc does not 'hear voices'. And the jab about 'what do the voices tell you to do?' is a CLASSIC discriminatory move when they find out someone IS hearing voices. As if the voices will suddenly control them and make them do violent or scary things. 

Not everyone who hears voices is violent, scary, or unpredictable. Some people just shrug them off. Sometimes the voices just say stuff and don't tell them to DO things. 

And DID is not 'hearing voices'. DID is about the 'voices' being other people in the head. And again, Marc is deflecting. He isn't telling the whole story. ANd part of the reason is I feel like if he did, these people would instantly think him not only INSANE but also treat him differently. 

He's struggling and he's grasping at what he knows people can handle because he's had to handle it before! He's telling the story that he feels is understandable and acceptable and not the real story! 

GAH. 

So... Buck buys it. He apologizes for screwing him over. 

"I won't lie to you... It bummed me out." 

"I didn't like doing it." 

"You want to make it up to me? Do it again." 

Back at the strip club! 

We find Dragonfly upset that she can't find any good for hire crews to bring her Moon Knight. 

One of her girls interrupts her telling her that there's a guy bragging about having the head of Ultron and he wants to sell it. 

Dragonfly goes to meet the guy. 

Buck tells her that he works for Moon Knight and that he needs off the 'crazy train'. He wants out and he wants Dragonfly to pay him for the head so he can get out of dodge. 

He gives her a piece of Ultron to show to her boss as proof that he's legit. 

He tells her that he wants to go directly to the big boss with this and not hand it over to her. 

He tells her that if she doesn't take the offer by midnight he's going to Hydra. 

She tells him she wants Moon Knight. 

"Hey, when he finds out I turned on him... I think you'll see as much of that Lunatic as you want." 

So she goes to her boss to tell him the deal. 

The boss sees through the plan, of course. 

"Moon Knight is trying to draw me out into the open." 

"Yes, should I just kill the guy? That would send a message back." 

He tells her that he's annoyed. Annoyed that of all the superheros out there, MOON KNIGHT is the one giving him troubles. 

After a debate, he tells her to ask the man to step out back so that he might have words with him. 

"You're here?" 

"I am." 

"Here?" 

"Moon Knight wants me to come out into the open because he thinks he can take me down. He thinks this is a street fight." 

Yeah I...Have no idea who Count Nefaria is. I'm going to have to look this one up. 

Alright... This one is a villain that dates back to Stan Lee, Jack Kirby, and Don Heck 1965. So he's not some new guy. 

So either he's a big deal in other runs of other comics that I don't read (a common problem if you don't read every comic ever), or he was a big villain back in the day, got forgotten about, then they dug him back up in the desperate search for bigger badder villains to 'bring back'. 

A quick Wikki read later. Okay. He pops up now and then. I guess he's been in a few random things I've read, but I had no idea who he was then and I still don't. So to me, he's just some guy. Maybe you've heard more of him. 

For whatever reason, I've just never found Moon Knight to mix well with villains like this. Traditional ones that fight the big fights with Captain America or X-Men just never really clicked or had the same sway over Moon Knight. 

He always just kinda shrugs and goes "You're supposed to be scary?" Like, the man has no reasonable fear? And when it comes to the big leagues, he just kinda goes “Ain’t my circus” and bows out. 

To each his own I suppose. Bendis is used to writing the big leagues. Writing for the Avengers, he goes for the big guns. So I’m not surprised that he would pull out a heavy hitting power villain like this. Just… Not for Moon Knight. It’s kinda like throwing Magneto at Spider-man. Why would you? 

Moon Knight was indeed watching and he recognizes who this villain is. 

He gets into an argument with Not Spider-man/Captain America/Wolverine on if he should handle it himself or call in the Avengers like he agreed to do. 

Hey look! Another well known panel! Now we have it in context! 

(Why are all the good meme panels from this run?) 

Snapdragon brings out Buck. 

To his credit, Buck sticks to his guns. 

Buck insists that he just wants out and to get paid. 

The Count demands the Ultron head. 

Buck demands the money. 

The Count tells Buck to get him the head and MAYBE he'll be granted mercy. 

See... A big hitter Villain like this with all this power? Why is he trying to get money and become a Kingpin in LA? I just don't buy it. 

So Buck goes to his car and pulls out the Ultron head. 

The second he holds it up, it explodes. 

It's a fake! 

The Count demands the real head. 

Buck stall and reveals the REAL trap. 

"We WERE going to bring you the real one, we were. But then it dawned on us that we didn't need to take that chance. 

See, all we needed is proof that you'd even TRY to barter for the head of Ultron. Which is on the same list as plutonium in terms of things that you are not allowed to have or buy or sell. I mean worldwide illegal tech." 

The count goes in for the kill. But Buck isn't done. 

"See, not only did you come out and reveal yourself to be the Kingpin of LA and try to steal an Ultron, you did it on video." 

And Echo waves from a nearby building, holding a video camera. Oh, and one more thing…

You see, the Count was enhancing his powers with Mutant Growth Hormones (new street drug that gives people mutant powers). 

Moon Knight had been asking Buck to not only enhance his own tech and weapons.... But to make him some pretty potent and illegal chemicals that only a former SHIELD agent had access to. 

The Count lays on the ground: "He did somethinggg...to me... My powers." 

"It's a chemical Agent. Used mostly on mutants. You released it when you crushed the tin can fake ultron head. Just like you were supposed to. Nick Fury thought it inhumane. Which he was right about. Except there's you." 

Buck reminds Moon Knight that it doesn't last all day and they need to get this over with quickly. 

The Count panics and flies off while he can, leaving behind Snapdragon. 

While Buck and Echo are pleased that it worked and they have Snapdragon, Wolverine is not happy. 

"He's going to hunt and destroy you for this, you idiot." 

Spider-man comes to his defense. "Hey, he took on a thor bad guy and lived to tell-Give him a break." 

Captain America agrees: "He doesn't get Ultron and we have his general. It's a tactical win." 

And here's the problem... 

While Moon Knight is 'chatting it up' with his own personal Head Avengers...

Echo keeps the video rolling. 

He hasn’t talked to her about ‘the voices’ yet. She just knows that ‘something isn’t right with him’. Also? Echo is a lip reader. Even with a mask on, if the fabric is thin enough, she can still read lips. And Moon Knight? His fabric is thin. She just witnessed the whole pretend conversation. 

I hate this. I hate that it’s implied that she now knows about his crazy and it’s going to be an issue. 

Speaking of issues… This next one is a doozy. 

ISSUE # 8

This cover I like. The birds, the moon, the outline of the building…. It’s just a pretty use of space and light. 

We open with the Detective from before heaving up to his car. 

He finds a knocked out Snapdragon on the hood of his car. 

"A present for you, detective." 

Moon Knight shows up and the detective pulls out his gun. 

"Put the gun away, Detective. We're on, basically, the same side." 

The detective fires his gun and Marc uses a new tech weapon to create a forcefield that appears like Captain America's shield, deflecting the bullets. 

"Jeez...Settle down." 

"What the hell is this?" 

"Well I'm trying to have a conversation with you, jumpy. Two guys talking. More or less. Try to focus...Listen carefully..." 

(I bet Moon Knight is missing Detective Flint right about now....I know I am.) 

He informs the detective about Snapdragon, the Count, and the Kingpin of LA. 

Moon Knight then hands him a USB of the video of the Count basically confessing. 

The detective really hates the vigilante crap but Moon Knight isn't worth the paperwork so he lets him go. 

Next up? We're back in TV land watching the show about Marc's life. 

Except we have Marlene and 'Jake Lockley' vs. a werewolf. 

Marc is upset by the werewolf's design. 

He argues about how he wanted it to be a real looking werewolf. He gets push back on that.

"I thought this was all based on your old life as a soldier of fortune." 

"It is." 

"Why a werewolf??"

"That happened." 

"You were attacked by a werewolf?" 

"There's a lot of crazy in the world and--" 

(Why is Marc growing a goatee? Does Steven know about this? Does Jake???) 

In private, Marc addresses the 'Avengers'. 

"What now? What am I doing wrong now?" 

Wolverine: "You tell us, big hollywood producer guy." 

Captain: "I'm a little confused by you, Moon Knight." 

Spider-man: "Guys, leave him alone. Without a Civilian life, you could lose all sense of self. you--" 

They tell him to stop goofing off and get back to work as Moon Knight. Count Nefaria is still out there and looking for him. 

Marc says Echo is looking into some intel and coming up with a plan. 

We head back to the mansion and find Echo still staying with him. 

She watches as Buck helps Marc suit up in some new tech. 

Marc asks for a web shooter, Buck wants to know why. 

Finally Echo gets introduced to Buck and they make friends by him giving her some new fighting tech. 

Back at the police station, the Detective is showing his Captain the video. 

His captain tells him to get it to the feds, as this is above his paygrade and also illegal since it was gotten by a vigilante. 

The Captain dismisses him and the Detective is not too pleased. 

Know what time it is? TIME FOR A MONTAGUE. Or, in comic book land, a quick way to move things along over a period of time without taking up too much time to tell you about it. 

You also get a lot of single frame wordless art out of it, which can be nice. 

So we get Echo and Moon Knight hitting up known places that the Count was investing in. All while the Detective interviews Snapdragon for his own intel. 

He tells her that she isn't his problem. The FBI special cases is on the way. He also tells her that he thinks it's interesting that she's been with them for over a day and no one has come to try to break her out or bail her out. Not even a fancy lawyer like what happened with Night Shift. 

He goes to leave and she stops him. 

MORE MONTAGUE OF MOON KNIGHT AND ECHO KICKING ASS. 

They are lighting up the money laundering areas now. 

Snapdragon has told the Detective where the Count hangs out. He goes to the Captain with the news and the Captain doesn't want to hear it. 

Detective recommends they call in the Avengers and the Captain says they don't have a way to do that. 

Detective asks him "With all due respect... How come I get the feeling you don't want to take down the Kingpin of Los Angeles??" 

The Captain just leaves. Now that's fishy. 

Marc and Echo stake out the next place to hit. 

Echo tells him to take off his mask when talking to her so she can 'hear' him. 

"Deaf, right. Sorry. You just don't ACT deaf." 

"Now what the hell does THAT mean?"

"It means either you can't take a compliment or I can't give one." 

Marc...You should know better. You've been on the bad side of discrimination since you were born. 

But also... She totally CAN read his lips with the mask... She's lying to him. 

Or perhaps it's just easier to do it without the mask and they aren't in a life or death situation so it's fine. Hmmmmm....

He asks how she's feeling, she tells him that she's feeling better and that she needed this. 

Spider-man pops up and tells him to kiss her. 

Captain America tells him to get moving against Nefaria. Spider-man starts to argue with him about giving Marc a break. 

We see Marc physically flinch. Echo either doesn't notice or she ignores it. 

Marc asks why she never thought to call the Avengers despite this huge operation she was trying to run alone before he got there. 

"I --I never belonged there." 

"But this is a big muscle operation. We're going to have to call them eventually. We have to call Somebody." 

She kisses him. 

She tells him they can do one more "rousing bit of super villain vandalism". 

"Nefaria IS a Thor-level bad guy." 

Marc tries to remind her that this is out of their league.

UH OH. 

Okay so, Anyone else getting a vibe that Marc’s mental health is crashing down around him and EVERYONE is ignoring it? Just because he’s ‘sorta’ told them he hears things doesn’t mean he’s told them the problem. And they clearly don’t understand it. So they’re just looking the other way. Everyone just assumes “That guy’s nuts” and goes with it. 

And despite Marc knowing that the three ‘Avengers’ are just in his head, he’s starting to see them more and associate them with him doing a poor job. Seeing them as there to chastise him. He’s also starting to physically respond to them talking to him. Reacting and getting more upset at their appearance. These are all signs of a failing control of the situation. …..They are ALSO signs of a different mental illness. But hey, in Bendis’ world, all mental illnesses are the same, right? 

NEXT ISSUE! 

Issue #9! 

Now THIS is the famous cover! The one you think of when you hear Maleev’s name. 

Those whites. Those colors. The way he uses a water color technique. DAMN. He was saving up for this one. 

Wait a minute... They changed the title page blurb. 

"While attempting to loot the temple of an ancient Egyptian god called Khonshu, mercenary Marc Spector was beaten nearly to death by a trasonous partner. Left to die in the desert, he was taken by a group of Egyptian people to the statue of their diety Khonshu who offered to save his life but only if Spector would become his avatar on Earth. 

Spector agreed, and began his career as the costumed crime fighter known as Moon Knight. Night falls, the Moon Knight rises, and neither sorcery, science, nor mortal sin can win against him!" 

WHAT THE FU- That's not what happened! That's not even close to what happened?! EGYPTIAN PEOPLE?! LOOTING THE TEMPLE?! Even the most CASUAL Moon Knight fan knows how the story went! How do they manage to fuck that up so badly!? Where's the continuity editor?! Why did they change it?! WH...GAHHHH! 

"Unbeknownst to all, Moon Knight has developed split personality disorder-And his personalities have adopted the roles of his former Avengers teammates: Spider-Man, Wolverine and Captain America, all of whom give him guidance on how to be a hero." 

Noooooooo. That's not what happened! He didn't just 'develop' D.I.D. 

^%$##%^& Okay. I see it now. I see what they did and are doing. 

They disliked the Steven and Jake aspect. They really had no idea how to deal with them. ESPECIALLY Bendis, who clearly knew NOTHING about Moon Knight except what the Marvel editors were telling him. 

So they tried to give him a bit of a 're-write'. They took away Steven and Jake, made it so he JUST NOW developed DID out of the blue? And now his alters are the Avengers who can tell him how to be a Superhero and give him life advice... 

I...I am not okay with this. 

And on top of this? They did NO research into his mental health issue, probably watched some old Hollywood movie or two and then based it off of that. Then went with all the lines about him having "Schizophrenia" and just tossed those symptoms in there too for funzies. 

I can't. I just cannot. 

This run is SO triggering. In so many BAD ways. GAH. Okay. I'm...I'm going to keep going. I'll save it. Because I know how it ends and boy howdy.... 

BACK TO THE COMIC. 

Alright, our comic opens up with...and I kid you not: 

"Marc Spector's stately awesome house, last week". 

He's trying out his new shield like Captain America's. And why is Marc growing a goatee? It looks terrible on him. 

"No, Buck, I asked for a sheild like Captain America's."

"That IS a shield like Captain America's." 

And they argue what his shield looks like. Buck questions Marc's Avender status because he's never seen him on the TV with the other team. 

"Can you keep a secret?" 

[....] 

"I'm a secret Avenger." 

"Moving on. See, Captain America's original shield is made of a vibranium/adamantium alloy." 

"I know." 

"Well then you know neither vibranium nor adamantium is exactly growin' on trees. I mean, you're rich but you ain't THAT rich." 

So instead he made him a 'zero point energy shield'. Basically a retractable force field that pops up in the shape of Cap's shield. He can also throw it. So that's cool. Portable shield. 

He asks Marc why he wants a Cap shield. Marc just says it's cool. 

PRESENT TIME 

And.... I have to laugh about this. 

You have this god level bad guy with scary powers...

And he's just pissed off that MOON KNIGHT, of all the people in the world, MOON KNIGHT is the one that's just annoying the hell out of him. Just a regular guy. 

And that's just spot on Moon Knight energy right there. Being obstinate and annoying to the bad guys since the OG run. 

Cap deflects the incoming blast with his shield and tells Marc that they're out of their league and they need to get the heck out of there. 

"Retreat, regroup, and plan the attack to your own strengths and your own rules. RUN!!" 

Everyone keeps talking about how this guy has fought all the avengers and fought Thor to a stand still. LIke, we get it. He's powerful. I've still not got him on my list of known top villains but SURE! I Don't know every bad guy that makes their rounds in the comics. 

But I still just feel like putting him in a Moon Knight comic where he's having break down issues is just unfair. And then the other Avengers KNOWING who he is facing and not standing by to help him... 

"Superhuman strength, speed, durability.... He can kill you with his optic blasts. He can fly. Not going to listen to me? Then at the very least get HER out of here, Spector. If you're crazy enough to fight this fight, fine. But you get her out of here!" Cap continues to argue with Marc 

Marc grabs her and shoves her into a building while he runs around to distract The Count. 

Echo is pretty pissed at being tossed aside. 

"And I thought I hit rock bottom hooking up with Murdock!" 

(Oh honey, he's everyone's rock bottom.) 

Captain America continues to lecture Marc about how this fight is above him. How the Count could kill him in an instant and is just toying with him. 

Flash back to last week! 

We see Buck fitting Marc with Web-shooters. 

Buck once again asks Marc why he wants Web-shooters when that's Spider-Man's thing. Marc doesn't answer. 

PRESENT. We see Marc get blasted off a building and he uses the web-shooters to stop his fall. 

Spider-Man now tries to reason with Marc. 

"Look at him. You gotta give him credit for dressing like Old School Dracula. I mean, seriously, where do you even BUY a monocle nowadays? What is he the Count of anyways? I bet nothing. He just decided to call himself count." 

He says what I'm thinking. 

I appreciate that. 

Moon Knight turns on the villain and Spider-Man tells him to "NOT get within arm's length of the Super-Powered Bad Guy." 

Yeah, Marc gets blasted back. 

"Look, it's safe to say, when in doubt, ALWAYS listen to Captain America. I mean as religions go, that wouldn't be the worst one I've ever heard of." 

Marc manages to get tossed aside but also web the Count down a bit. 

Spider-Man tells him to get running. 

He looks back and finds Echo there beating on the Count. 

While she distracts him, Marc attacks and throws him into a car. 

Yeah, way to arm the dude. 

And for the second time in this run, Marc gets a vehicle thrown at him. 

Ah. I see. 

So, Marc puts himself up close and personal to attack again and this makes Spider-Man nervous. 

"YOu're doing that thing where you're getting too close to the big super baddie." 

But you see, this is Moon Knight's fighting style. Marc KNOWS he can take hits And when you are close, the attacker has a harder time fighting back. Especially one that uses fire and explosions. They can't explode you without hurting themselves. 

Spider-Man's fighting style is always stay out of range, wear the bad guy down, and attack with long range. 

In fact, Marc gets up face to face with this guy. 

FLASHBACK TO LAST WEEK! 

We see Buck fitting Marc with Wolverine retractable claws. 

"It's not Adamantium, but it's the best I could do." 

Buck explains that it's stronger attached to his arm than it would as a sword. It will reinforce his arm while also lending strength for damage. 

"Good. I need close quarter weaponry. This is very good." 

"You want to be Wolverine too?" 

"I need to make sure if I get this close." 

"You want to be Spider-Man, Captain America AND Wolverine...All at the same time." 

Marc doesn't answer him. 

"The voices in your head. The ones you told me about... Are these them?" 

PRESENT. 

Wolverine is now goading on Marc. 

He pulls out the claws and stars stabbing. 

"Gut the son of a bitch!!! Don't let up. Get in there. Cut off his @#$@$@ HEAD!!!" 

And suddenly they are start arguing. 

This is a problem. The three 'guides' are arguing wanting different things and even MARC wants something different. 

Echo jumps in again and beats on the Count some more. 

Marc attempts to cut off the Count's head with the claws and gets thrown. 

This let's the Count turn on Echo and blast her. 

Yeah... That's not good. 

Warning for Character death I guess. 

(She comes back in later comics. Nothing stays gone in Comics. Plus she's getting her own show in the MCU. You know they gotta bring her back so they can push her on the people. She's a deaf native woman. Marvel's gotta exploit the HELL out of that.) 

Okay....Things are about to go SOUTH. 

Wolverine goes Berserker mode. Captain America argues that they are better than this and don't kill. Wolverine wants blood. Spider-man wants them to just stop. 

So Wolverine attacks Captain America. 

That’s some really nice art. I love the lines for the shadows. The crisp edges. The colors. The shredded cape. Even the action is stellar. Maleev you get that bread. 

ALRIGHT. That ends this issue. And we’re seeing what COULD be considered extreme System breakdown… Except this is not being written in a system sort of way. What we have is the Avengers acting as sort of Shoulder Angels that tell him what to do to be an Avenger and the three have conflicting personalities. And Bendis knows this because he WRITES for the Avengers. Famously so! So he’s given us Spider-Man, Captain America, and Wolverine, the three more famous characters in Marvel, who also have VERY conflicting personalities and views on how to be heroes. 

But again… You don’t need Wolverine’s rage here. MARC has enough rage. Marc has lost a LOT of people. Marc is more than capable of going berserker on his own. He’s no timid snowflake. Marc has done some… truly terrible things in the past. Even Moench wrote it that Marc has a most violent rage and is capable of carrying out the most heinous of deeds. 

And Steven is the one that would tell them to back off. Tell them to run. To keep strategic and protect Echo. Jake would be the one telling him to be careful. To watch his back. To stop making stupid moves that is putting them in danger. 

Jake has lost people too. Jake is usually the one that faces the grief. That feels the loss of friends and loved ones. 

This issue…This RUN should have been about System breakdown. The struggle of trying to give everyone what they want when everyone wants something different. About finding balance in how to live a shared life. In dealing with grief and trauma and danger. 

It could have been Marc losing Echo and raging out and forcing front away from the others. It could have been about him trying to hide his DID and failing because Jake is tired of masking and Steven wants to do things differently. 

It could have been about them fighting over how to gear up and Buck trying to figure out why they keep asking for such different things. Marc trying to explain things the way Marc always does (badly. Marc explains things badly. Marc is bad at things.) and making everyone around him worry. We could have seen Echo trying to figure out this relationship she’s suddenly getting in with what she doesn’t know is three men. About Marc struggling with suddenly experiencing more symptoms than he’s used to as the system breaks down. Time skips, waking up in different locations, trying to wave away weird things and being in Denial. We certainly saw a lot of that in Moench’s run as the system became aware of itself! Now the system is aware and STRUGGLING. 

I’m forever going to be bitter over how good this comic COULD have been. 

ANYWAYS. I’m going to break it into anther part here because I’m almost out of pic space and I don’t want to cut the last three issues up worse than I need to. 

PART THREE HERE

[aro-simp]

Heyyy, 3, 4, 5, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 & 13 >:3 (these are again so many sksjskk, sorry)

AHHHH THANJ YOU AGAIN!!! That's like almost the entire ask game 😭 But I do love an excuse to ramble endlessly!

Thought it would be fun to answer some of these "in-character", those are green :)

3. What is your sense of style? Do you have any specific aesthetics when it comes to your wardrobe?

I don't have much of an own style I guess? I mostly just wear the overalls I have to wear when I'm working... preferably only halfway since it's always so damn hot around here.

You know now that I'm more comfortable with... myself I do like showing off my arms (and again: It's So Fucking Hot. Always.) so I'm a loyal tank top/undershirt/wife beater (whatever the fuck you wanna call it) wearer. I like to think it gives me something of a charmingly rugged appearance. Don't tell anyone I said that tho that sounds like bull.

And outside of work just whatever clean pair of jeans and any jacket. I like those kitschy neon windbreakers actually :)

I think that whole big pants little shirt thing looks great on me

4. What does your voice sound like? Is it low and gravelly? Is it high pitched and quiet? What does your laugh sound like?

I honestly always have such a hard time coming up with voices 😭

Luckily (or... sadly, tragically) I've been near obsessively watching old Top Gear/Grand Tour clips recently so Psy just ended up sounding like Richard Hammond in my head, accent included. ...Do with that information what you will.

5. What are your hobbies and interests? Do you have any that others find odd?

I fancy myself a bit of an artist, and I'm trying to play the piano!

I (obviously) really like jets but generally I just like mechanical vehicles! Cars, planes, ships, etc. I don't think it's in itself an odd interest but not a lot of people share quite the same ...type of enthusiasm with me.

I like video games and movies a lot... especially the action genre, and I really like dragons!

8. Do fans like or dislike you? Why?

Generally Psy is more on the length of fandom wide liked character. There's not really any huge fans but he also gets no big hate. He does kinda fall into the "fandom's most defended baby" section, he's queer and disability rep and don't you dare get too angry at him!

The dislike towards him is less about him as a character and more about him as a narrative device. There's some talk about forced representation, as always. But otherwise people are pretty chill about him.

The circle of people who are enthusiastic fans about him also won't shut up about what a cool detail it was to get the kid from the first movie back.

9. How do other characters feel about you? Why?

I think I'm generally met with like a sense of annoyance? Nothing too big but it's not getting past me that not everyone is too pleased with the space I take up. I'm loud, I'm obnoxious, I need more help and attention than others.

I like to think that despite the annoyance a lot of people find me somewhat charming, a bit of a renegade. I love to bicker and joke.

I understand that most folks I know are on a strictly professional level with me and well... I'm not an outstanding worker? I have some very specific aspects I focus too much on, I am too lenient with others. I did perhaps stir some trouble with one or two meltdowns... People know me! That's all I need. And most don't viscerally hate me...

I like to think I am more or less accepted within their circles as a silly little side guy

10. What is your "role" in the story? Main character? Villain? Side character?

just a measly little side character 😔 ...I'd argue not an unimportant side character, beautiful love interest to the protagonists after all! And I am a reoccurring role! But... side character nonetheless

11. What are popular ships involving you? Do any of them involve characters that aren't your f/os?

Most popular is of course RoosPsy!! We are boyfriends!!

I'd say second most popular would probably be... Hangman and I... Not a huge fan, personally. Not at all. Subsequently that also means Hangman x Rooster x I. Also. Not a fan. Maybe even worse, I don't want to see my man with a guy I can't stand >:/ (no hate to anyone who ships Hangman and Rooster it's just a ship I really don't like, my bad T^T)

PsyMav of course, lovely ship, lovely f/o :)

I think Goose and I as a familial ship are doing quite well!

12. Are there any mischaracterizations of you?

Fiction and reality do love to imitate each other and sadly that means that I am frequently caught in between constant infantilization and demonization :,) I promise it won't kill you to view me as an autonomous person and not just a walking talking charity cause. It also won't kill you to consider me just another member of society and not something so repulsive it has to be evicted from the community.

13. What songs do you associate with yourself?

I'm Gonna Win by Rob Cantor, I like the attitude of the song, I think it fits me :) I'm not necessarily a star of managing my life but it's quite a challenge to try and keep me down. The sort of sinister tone to it is also really nice, I'm gonna take what's mine and make that everybody else's problem.

2Econd 2Ight 2Eer by Will Wood, it's just such a fun song! And the line "I'm just a psycho, babe, come and go out my mind" is one I never can get out of my head.

Little Lion Man by Mumford & Sons, this song makes me cry a lot :( Maybe it's the comfort of the idea that my shortcomings aren't my fault

Old Friend by Mitski, I just really like Mitski! And this song is great! All of her songs are great tbh...

[a-deed-without-a-name]

Butterballs 6? Plz? I'll pay you in virtual hugs?

Oh, hi, Butterballs Anon. Long time, no see. I thought maybe you'd finally gotten the message the last time I and everyone else in my ask box told you to cut it out (for the fiftieth time) because you weren't doing anything but making me mad, but apparently I gave you too much credit. Again.

(If you're new here, check out the "butterballs anon" tag on my blog, and this will make a lot more sense to you.)

I doubt you'll ever see this, since I suspect you only come to my page to send obnoxious asks, but I've got a few things I want to say to you anyway.

You've been harassing me for...wow, look at that, three years. Maybe even longer.

(Jesus Christ. Three years of your actual human life spent obsessing over a goof-off smut fic. I know I'm throwing stones in my glass house here, but...yikes.)

I feel like I know you pretty well at this point.

You've been told to stop. It has been made very clear to you by myself and others that you're making me uncomfortable and upset. You've been told I have lots of other kink fics you can read. You've been told you can write your own Butterballs continuation if you want it that bad. But you haven't done any of those things.

Because you "want" it. You "need" it. You're entitled to it and baffled I don't agree.

It's not a compliment, it's not a mark of how much you enjoy my writing, it's that you're accustomed to getting your way or think that you should and you're frustrated by the fact that you're not.

Your complete lack of regard for someone else's boundaries and your gleeful ignorance of my multiple clear "no"s do not bode well for your behavior in real life.

Maybe it's going a bit far to extrapolate this much from sparse online interactions, but again: three years. After being told a dozen times to stop.

You think you're fun and cute and goofy. You're not.

And I very much doubt I am the only or even most heavily-targeted recipient of your attentions.

I don't know anything about your sexual or romantic proclivities beyond how much you love fat kink, but I shudder thinking about anyone you've experienced attraction to. The harassment they've probably suffered. The way your obsession and lack of respect - because no one's a real person to you, are they? Just a vehicle for the fulfillment of your desires - disrupted their lives. You're the story they tell first dates about the creepiest, clingiest person they ever met.

God help anyone who ever had an actual relationship with you. I pray you're single. I suspect you probably are.

If there are any people you still consider friends, you probably haven't seen them in a while. They get together without you, express relief you're not there, talk about how fun things are without you. Or they invite you because they feel they have to, a la the Geek Social fallacies, but the group keeps getting smaller as more and more people decide they don't have to put up with your bullshit, and those who remain are constantly on edge. Waiting for another outburst from you. Dreading the day they come your next object of obsession.

Your relatives talk disparagingly about your parents, because of the person they've raised.

You've probably lost at least one job for harassment. Maybe even talking about your fetishes at work.

I suspect you probably hide behind neurodivergence. "I can't help it, I have ________." Or passion. You're just so friendly and goofy, a lovable weirdo! But it's not any of those things. If it were, you would have stopped at some point in the last three years.

You believe, deep down, you're entitled to other people's time, and attention, and maybe even their bodies, regardless of what they want and feel. You think that if you just push hard enough, they'll give in and you'll win. Life is a video game for you. You're the only one with thoughts and emotions. The world exists to serve you, and it confuses and frustrates you when you encounter something that conflicts with that belief.

You are a bad person, Butterballs Anon. Full stop.

I don't want a hug from you, virtual or otherwise.

I don't imagine there's anyone left in your life who does.