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DATV explaining the 'Regret Prison'
A REGRET PRISON IS STUPID AND I'M TIRED OF PRETENDING THAT ITS NOT
TL;DR: a prison can serve as a metaphor but it shouldn't be entirely comprised of a metaphor.
From what I understood from what the game gave us: Solas has made a new prison to move the God's too - since bringing down the veil would free them from the Black City. This new prison is separate(?) from the fade or so far removed/contained that bringing down the veil would not compromise it...apparently. We interrupt his ritual, Solas gets sucked into the new prison he made, and the elven gods are free.
When Rook gets kicked into the fade they're physically there - which means it's a physical place in the fade, like how it was a mixture of physical/thought when we entered it in DAI. Which makes sense - the gods are real and living beings, they need to be in a place, there must be some aspect of physicality to it.
Alright, cool, it's a Black City 2.0 - I assume it's better defended to prevent people breaking in/out again?
NOPE.
We get there and it's a 'regret prison'?? It's tied to the regrets of those within it? Composed of regrets??? Solas had to wait for the right moment for Rook to be sufficiently 'full of regret' that they could switch places?
So is the prison tied to Solas's regrets? If so, how can Rook escape? The prison seems to work around the idea that it relies on the regrets of the person it's holding to work - which is how/why Rook was able to be trapped and later free themselves (along with whatever remains of the team apparently being able to do something on their end, not that we hear about it).
WHICH IS STUPID!
Are you telling me the prison intended to hold to megalomaniac elven gods was going to imprison them based on their own regrets? Is Solas assuming that Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain are as self-pitying as he is? They'd break out quicker than Rook did! He made a time out corner for the elven gods to sit in and gave them an out if they reflected on their emotions/regrets or decided that they don't regret what they did. Elgar'nan, a spirit of tyranny, is not going to 'regret' his actions - he is going to justify them by telling himself and others that he knows what's best.
We can come across some of Solas's regrets in the prison if you run around a bit and explore:
Remnant of Failure - talking about the orb from Inquisition.
Remnant of Parting - talking about Mythal
Remnant of Reflection - more vague, talking about the Titans I believe.
So maybe he altered it - maybe he intended the prison to be 'locked' with his own regrets because after a millennia of having a pity party he still can't bring himself to self-reflect and look to the future. But what if Solas died? Or if his guilt lessened - would it diminish the strength of the regret prison?
We already have pre-established lore (though DATV has shown they don't really give a crap tbh) that once the being that has claimed/altered an area of the fade is slain, it's influence diminishes both in and outside of the fade. So if the prison was tied to his regrets then it would require Solas to basically live forever to keep it stable - especially if he brought down the veil and removed the one barrier that kept the world and the fade apart.
Rook and Solas needed some assistance to exit - but it doesn't seem like it was much! Solas used his dagger and Rook just...got out through a fade tear? This is Solas's 'more secure' second prison? It has a worse track record than the Black City! If Rook - who is not an elven god - managed to escape the regret prison what is to stop anyone else from breaking in and out of the prison?
And what did Solas intend to do with the blight - the bulk of which is apparently in the black city?? If bringing down the Veil would free the gods in the black city doesn't that mean that the blight would also be released?! Did he have a plan? Why does he go fully ahead with bringing down the veil at the end if the black city is still there and filled with blight?!
I get it: the 'regret prison' is a metaphor for how Solas holds onto the past and how Rook can move past their regrets and grow. He's trapped by the past - it's a prison. Cool. But this prison is supposed to by a physical place to contain the gods - not just to solely contain Solas. The mission is literally called 'A Cage for Gods'.
The Black City is an actual place that's so far out of reach of anywhere else in the fade that no mage can ever reach it while in dreams - let alone physically, which was only done once and took tremendous effort/blood sacrifices. It made sense - it was cool to see floating in the sky in DAO!
Though it's not said specifically, it's strongly implied that Arlathan is the Black City. You can see in the concept art that floating elven city is exactly the same as the black city in DAO! It's this foreboding thing just lurking in the sky - a constant reminder of the sin that led to the horrors of the blights and darkspawn. A real place with lore and history that also serves as a metaphor for the hubris and destruction of those who call themselves gods and act as tyrants -> for both the evanuris and the magisters.
I WANT TO UNDERSTAND THIS BIOWARE!
WHAT IS THIS KINGDOM HEARTS NONSENSE???!!
#we'll need Mickey and Donald to break us out of this one#this screams 'this sounds so cool lets put it in' and not 'how can we do something cool that works with the world we've established'#“it's metaphorical-” it can be metaphorical and make sense!!!#trying to invoke 'emotion' with that black and white tone and only succeeded in getting me to feel pure confusion and rage#THE FADE IS GREEN TINTED - THE LAST GAME WAS LITERALLY COLOUR THEMED AFTER IT#i'm passionate about the fade being green the same way i'm passionate about Aurora's dress being blue and Cinderella's being silver#solas's more secure second prison literally has a worse track record than the black city - why is he so dumb???#I regretted no choices in datv besides the decision to actually play this game lmao#if the game actually acknowledged that Rook's actions led to thousands of people dying maybe I'd feel something in the regret prison#no mention of treviso/ minrathous/ or southern thedas??#the team all knew the risks of what they were doing! they volunteered/made their own choices - ME2 did this so much better#played as an elf so I didn't even feel bad when Harding died because of the weird elf specific dialogue she had#I'm not sorry for the titans/what Solas did - I wasn't even there! Doesn't justify the shit that happened to the elves after either!#this game made me apathetic to LACE HARDING and i loved her in Inquisition#i'm sorry but I had more regret for choosing to speak mean to Merrill once than anything I did in this game#currently writing about the magisters sidereal in my lore post and I needed to blurt this out because its so stupid#typed out the word 'regret' so much is has no meaning in my head anymore lmao#datv critical#datv spoilers#bioware critical#dragon age the veilguard#veilguard critical
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Wait, what’s going on with Embers???? That fic has been on my read later list since 2021, what’s happened with it???
Brief overview, then I'm likely never touching this topic again, because this is not a Drama Blog:
Context: Embers is a super old AtLA fic that was written during the early fandom days, read widely at the time, and was the origin of the widely-used fanon name of "Wani" for Zuko's ship (kind of by default that it was one of the first popular fics to give his ship a name, I think?), even though most fic writers don't seem to realize it's from there anymore.
"What's Going On": I used to include a link in all my stories to it, because I believe in crediting other writers for borrowed elements, and I was using "Wani" in all my fics. But BOY did I not want to be sending readers that way anymore, so I've adopted a new name for Zuko's ship, and removed all Embers links.
None of the criticisms about Embers itself are new; I'm assuming they date back to when the fic was being written, because this isn't an "it aged badly" thing, this is an "actually yeah this gets worse the longer you think about it and I shouldn't have ignored my bad feelings just because some of the worldbuilding was interesting" thing.
An Incomplete List of Why I Made the Change:
I don't actually like the story that much anymore, and don't want to rec it
I tried to re-read it recently to see if some things were as bad as I remembered and it turns out they were So Much Worse Oh Yikes. More specifically, the treatment of Katara and Aang and their respective cultures has... rather a lot going on. One example: The Fire Nation and Air Nomads are both given multiple backstory elements in an attempt to make the average Fire Nation soldier's participation in the genocide/war in large part the fault of the Avatar and the Air Nomads themselves, and also fully justified from the Fire Nation perspective. And I do mean fully. One of its core tenants is "People from the Fire Nation (and only people from the Fire Nation) who don't follow orders Literally Die, therefore murdering pacifists and babies and continuing the war (and their regularly scheduled war crimes) is the only thing it is physically possible for them to do". I cannot emphasize enough how literal that is.
Also the name "Wani" means "Alligator" and is... objectively a pretty lame name for Zuko's ship? Where's the personality, where's the deeper meaning, where's the resonance with Zuko's themes? @tuktukpodfics initially thought I was calling the ship "Wanyi", and that's what I've switched to, because it is Objectively So Much Better. In their words: “Wànyī (萬一): Literally ‘one in ten thousand,’ ‘perchance.’ Used grammatically in Chinese to mean ‘what if’ or ‘just in case.’ I think a ship called ‘The Perchance’ is perfect for a boy clinging to false hope.”
TL:DR; I don't rec Embers anymore, because I don't actually like the story anymore, and there are things about it that get worse the more I think on them. I've removed links to it and renamed Zuko's ship to "Wanyi" ("The Perchance") because our boy deserves a ship name that reflects his character arc.
#for the record if you ever find something kind of rancid in my fics#do please let me know#EX: I've rewritten scenes to be better Actual Blind Rep for Toph based on blind reader feedback#and I'm debating how hard it would be to ignore/re-write the canon issues of Water Tribe sexism (for the Southern Tribe at the least)#because that is a common complaint I see from the people who's RL cultures the Water Tribes was based on#probably I can do more interesting things with that going forward#in other words justice for Hama and Hahn#at least the show itself made Hama excellently complex#anyways back to doing actual writing#please no follow up questions#though I will say anyone who wants to update their own fics to use Wanyi (or any other name): go for it!#all you need to do is plop your chapters in a word editor and find/replace the ship name! it took about 40 minutes to do literally#all of my fics and I had some other editing to do besides! it'll be even quicker for you!#let's sink the Wani#avatar the last airbender#atla#Zuko
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Caughtcha, gotcha, not letting go ♥ (Patreon)
#Doodles#Pokemon#Firebland#Silverstreakshipping#Kabu#Larry#The Stanley Parable#Stanley#Silly little leftovers between bigger ideas - it's interesting how most of my ideas for them are comic-style :0#Interaction scripts moreso than just Cute Lads as is my wont haha - though they are also cute#Practice doodles to keep sharp!#And hey they both get their own singular focus and two together! Doubly double nice haha#I think about ''Would you still love me if I was a worm'' perhaps an inordinate amount.... I genuinely really like it haha#Yes it's silly but I'm very moved by it all the same! That one post of love and care really really spoke to me#Of keeping someone you love safe and protected and fed and healthy ''even if'' they had nothing could provide in return#Very similar to the Came Back Wrong post - I love you because You Are not because of what you can Do For Me#Very sappy! Of course I like it! I will turn it silly though hehe I love both!#And also the pun of Wurmple hehehe ♪ To think I almost went with Caterpie or Kakuna! My Gen1 love is too strong smh#Poor Larry haha Kabu quick to reassure! Loves you! ♥#Some Stanley!! I have a few more Guys Who Are Dudes in the barrel to meet up with Larry at some point haha#Stanley had to be first tho - I tagged a meme with Larry as being Stanleycore! Normal but Weird about it#Stanley is Not normal for the record lol but he Is an Office Man so he counts#Hey Stanley why don't you wear a tie to work huh#Floof lads <3 Obviously! Kabu's much easier to draw floofed out lol but that's just 'cause floof is fun and easy to draw#Larry is actually much harder to draw floofed lol - how do his grey streaks fall! Absolute mayhem! Cute nonetheless haha#And ending out with huggles and snuggles and cuddles <3 That pose is much much fun to draw :D#Surrounded but not trapped! Larry's legs pressing in on Kabu's but not forcing him closed and Kabu's hands on Larry's#Hold him there hold him there both sides all the ways around#Larry's really leaned down onto his shoulder if their heads are at matching heights haha#I'm quite pleased ♪ Their faces turned out cute and the pose turned out nice :) S'pretty! :D
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Macbeth Q&A 18th Jan 2024 Part 1
Was lucky enough to get a ticket for the Member's Event at the Donmar Warehouse that took place on the 18th...with the price of the patronages I sure never thought I'd have gotten the chance, but luckily, they also let in some non-members 🥹❤️
The brilliant performance of Macbeth was followed by a very quick cleaning of the stage - thought for sure it would've taken them longer to remove the blood than like 5 minutes - followed by a lovely, little Q&A session.
The Q&A was led by Craig Gilbert (Literary manager) who talked to Annie Grace and Alasdair Macrae (Musicians and part of the acting ensemble) as well as Cush Jumbo and David Tennant.
Anyway, just gonna write down some of the stuff they talked about :) sorry if it's a bit messy! Might be spoilery if you haven't seen it yet but are going to!
To begin with Craig remarked that he didn't think he'd ever seen that many people staying behind for a Q&A before (While I was just wondering why some people even left!? Stressful!).
David introduced himself with "My real name is David "Thane of Paisely" Tennant - while Cush introduced herself with "I´m Cush Jumbo - there's only one of me".
First question was Craig asking them what it was that brought them to the Donmar to do Macbeth - to which David pretty much just replied that 1. It's the Donmar! 2. It's Macbeth! One of the greatest plays of all time in an amazingly intimate space - and that the theatre is famous for its quality of work. So he found it quite hard to think of a reason not to do it!
Cush said she'd worked there before and loves the theatre, how it's so intimate but also a great workspace. Followed by her saying she said yes because David asked her. She talked about how important it was for this play to do it together with the right actor playing opposite you.
David says Max Webster asked him about a year ago if he wanted to do the play - he gave him the dates - and since there weren't any obstacles in the way, David didn't have any excuse not to do it.
He then said that he had slightly avoided Macbeth - there sorta being the assumption that if you're Scottish and has done some Shakespeare plays before you have to do Macbeth. Which he joked was a bit odd since it's not like every Italian has to play Romeo. Then he mentioned that Macbeth is probably a bit more of a jock than he is - that it seemed more like a part for big, burly actors.
Max had laid out his initial ideas to David, a lot of which are in the final production, and David thought he seemed lovely, bright and clever and inventive plus it being the Donmar Warehouse! To which joked that he had last worked there 20 years ago - when he was 8 years old! "It's just one of those spaces" - friendly and epic at the same time where it's such a pleasure to be on the stage.
When Craig asked his next question concerning the sound of the play someone asked him to speak louder as she couldn't hear them - to which David joked that they've gotten so used to whispering. But also said sorry, and that they would!
Alasdair explained a bit about the process of the binaural sound - bit I find it a bit difficult to decipher it all correctly, sorry. He did say that a interesting part of it is that it allows them a controlled environment where they can put all the musicians (and even the bagpipes!) behind the soundproof box so "Poor David and Cush" doesn't have to shout over all the racket.
Craig asked David and Cush what their reaction was when they heard about the concept of the binaural soundscape - to which David replied that it didn't quite exist when they first came onboard - Cush joking they were tricked into it. Then she talked about her and David going on a workshop with Max to get a feeling of how it would all work - and get a sense of how it would sound to the audience, as this was one of the few times, they got to hear that side of it. Their experience of the play being completely different to the experience the audience has.
Cush said they can hear some of the sound - like she can hear some of the animal sounds and David can hear some of the stuff from the glass box - but most of their cues and information comes from timing with each other. She said they won't be able to ever hear what the audience hears - to which David joked "We're busy".
It felt like mixing medias - as it all went quite against their natural stagecraft instinct - but Cush found that in the long run it made things very interesting - like they don't have to worry about getting something whispered to each other - as the audience will hear it anyway.
David said the odd thing is that they don't really know what the experience truly is like. He mentioned that to the sides of the stage there's a speaker for them where they will get any cues that they need to hear. Like they can hear the witches - but they can't hear where they are "positioned" - so they have to learn how to place themselves to fit with what the audience hears. They don't hear everything, though. And the audio they hear is quite quiet, so it doesn't disturb what comes through the headphones.
He thinks it's been exciting - that it's a bit like a mix between film and theatre. It's happening live - but it's also like post-production is happening between them and the audience as it's going on. They just have to trust that the audience is hearing what they are supposed to for it all to make sense.
Cush said she thinks in 10 - 20 years, as these technologies has developed, doing theatre like this will feel a lot more normal - not that they will do it ALL the time, but that they will be doing it - whereas now it's still like an experiment. What Cush really like about the concept is that if was done in a much bigger theatre - then people in the cheapest seats would be able to have an experience much more similar to those in the most expensive seats - they'd be a lot more immersed into the action.
David then talks about how it feels extremely counterintuitive to not go on stage and speak loud enough that the people in the back row can also hear you. And usually, if they can't hear you, you aren't doing your job right! But then it felt very liberating. He loves it.
Cush then talked about how it felt odd waiting in the wings for a cue you can't hear - where you traditionally wait backstage and you can hear your cues, you can hear the rythm and know when it's your turn - so it was quite disconcerting to hear silence. So it's basically down to them now knowing the show and each other's timings - like if David is standing at a certain point, she knows how long she has before she needs to say/do something. So you have to watch each other more closely and really focus on what the others are doing.
David asked the musicians if they can hear everything inside the box, to which Annie replied that they get everything except some extra bits in the soundscape. But they can hear the actors on stage. Annie said it's actually a bit of a mystery to all of them what the audience actually experiences - how the big pictures actually look like - they just have to trust that it's there "Is it there?!".
Someone asked if they had had any adverse reactions from audiences to having to wear the headphones. Quite a bit of laughter all around :P then David said "There's the odd person" and something about if someone hadn't gotten the memo before turning up...but not sure how he ended the line. Then once again says that yes, there's the odd person who doesn't like it and that's fair enough.
The same audience member then said he could see the advantage of it in a big theatre where the distance is big, but not in a small place like the Donmar - to which David very quickly, rather passionately replied that it's not about projection, it's about being able to do things you wouldn't normally be able to do live - where they can speak so quietly that they can't even hear each other when standing next to each other. So even in such a small place, people wouldn't be able to hear that. It's about creating a different play - which isn't to everyone's taste and that's fair enough. But for a play that's been done a hundred and seven million times he thinks it's very valid to try and find a new way into the play - even if it's not for everyone.
Part 2
#David Tennant#Macbeth#Donmar warehouse#Cush Jumbo#I messed up this recording sooooo bad#I didn't see people pull out their phones to record it so I didn't dare do that either...#and man did I get a shitty recording out of it :(#and the audio ain't great either...Craig was sitting the furthest from me and didn't have a mic so can be a bit difficult to hear at times#Cush was sitting the closest to me (not that close - I was still in second row!) and David was sitting next to her#while I didn't have a perfect frontal view - the angle I was at did mean that I still got a perfect view of David's adorable smiles <3#and all his other lovely facial expressions as he often looked to Cush when she was talking and replied to her...#which made it FEEL like he was looking in my direction *sigh*#and he looked so good with his comfy cardigan - skin tight jeans - and his glasses!#You know I have seen David quite a few times by now - but I'm pretty sure this was the first time I saw him wearing his own glasses!#I desperately wish I had managed to capture some pictures or a video---because OMG! He was so lovely <3#Oh didn't know there was a text limit...or that I had written this much...guess I'm continuing in a part 2
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this image came to me a while back and wouldn't leave me alone until i brought it into the world, and after seeing your Barbenheimer art i thought i might send it to you. love all your work, and it's been great seeing the development of these two! <3
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#aw dang partners in crime!#very in character yes#Vasco's gleeful look is just something else I love it#thank you for drawing my boys#;_;#I'm glad to hear you've been enjoying seeing them around!#Machete#Vasco#own characters#Pandaboar#gift art#a little context tidbit since this reminds me of it#for the majority of their co-existence Vasco is the one who has a little bit of a criminal record and autrority issues#and since he's never gotten into serious trouble for it he's quite nonchalant about the whole thing#he has solid morals for sure but they don't always align with the law#Machete is an obedient well behaved goody two shoes until he slowly boils over irreparably and becomes the worst version of himself#I actually had a similar thing sketched last month but never got around to finishing it#should I still do it or is it too late at this point
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keigo in my newer style since I finally watched s7!! 🧡🌟
I had sooo much fun choosing what I would headcanon/fancast his features as (peep the dimples, i like those heheh,, i just know in-universe there would be at least one fan account dedicated to them lol). My style these days is a lot more grounded in realism so it was hard finding references without an exact face to use-- kind of like a collage. I like how it turned out! I hope this fed my MHA followers & mutuals for a bit, I hath not forgotten you~~!! I really enjoyed season 7, I already know the major beats of what happens next in the manga but I haven't actually read it so I'm waiting with bated breath!!
bonus: I rambled about keigo in the tags but I have big feelings after finishing the season so it ended up long hehe (the tags on my posts are slowly becoming a notes app for fandom shower thoughts atm bruh!!)
#kenna draws#i wanna grab him and shake him like a snowglobe until all his misconceptions about himself slot into the actual truth#like those wodden toddler shape toys#just grabbing him by the shoulders like 'no kei youre not a bad person'#'yes you have value'#'no so actually being sold into hero work when you were like eight wasn't 'abandoning ur past''#'no ur not a thematic parallel to an abuser. crazy work tho!!'#its so interesting too becuz i cant tell if horikoshi ascribes to these beliefs as well??#but it's also so realistic I feel for people who have been victims of abuse in the past to see themselves as terrible people like that yk#like if you have no self worth and you're actually reflective on your behavior... it wraps back around to fearing you are an abuser#so is he doing a realistic depiction of how abuse can shape us#ORRRR was he just using keigo as a scape goat to try to sway viewers back towards liking endeavor more again#for the record i KNOW this all probably like#baby's first analysis of hawks and endeavors toxicity#but I'm not super active in the fandom and I have big feelings#hit up my inbox we can talk about it!!!#also this is just my own interpretation#everyone's entitled to their own analysis it's all chill :))#mha#bnha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#hawks#keigo#keigo takami#fanart#mha keigo#bnha keigo#mha hawks#bnha hawks
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as a certified Diagnosed Autist(TM) i cannot stress enough that i am not only pro- self-diagnosis, but also pretty anti- legal medical diagnosis. it is, at best, a cruel hoop we have to jump through so privileged people will deign to give us what we need. don't fucking do that shit unless you have to, it was disgustingly expensive, fucking humiliating, infantilizing, and dehumanizing, and would probably actively cause problems in my life if i didn't have some really good allistic (-passing) people in my corner and also wasn't so fucking disabled that it mostly doesn't matter.
literally get that diagnosis if you need it for job/school accessibility shit or SSI or whatever, and otherwise dont tell the government SHIT about yourself. there is zero good reason for them to want that information. that's between you and the people you want in your life.
#as a side note: this goes for gender too#dont fucking get a special marker on your passport or whatever#trying to get ssi has made me realize how deeply cruel the system is#never reveal any vulnerability you have unless it's absolutely necessary#do not do this stuff for validation the government is not your friend and you should seek emotional fulfillment elsewhere#hm this post turned out a lot angrier than i meant#guess i'm still mad about how awful the process was#it wasnt even long it was just. so *impersonal.*#this woman talked to me for two hours. went down a fairly bigoted checklist.#didnt ask me my own opinion on much of anything. and then declared a bunch of her impressions as if they hold weight just bc shes allistic#like how i have 'identity issues' (am trans and dont want a romantic partner)#and thats just. my permanent record of diagnosis! this two hour conversation with a stranger! she doesnt fucking know me#we paid like $500 for that
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Destiel AU idea (again)
Dean is searching for a flat because he recently divorced Lisa. He wants one that is big and comfortable enough to welcome his children, Ben and Emma. It's been months since he started searching for one. Fortunately, Lisa is understanding enough to let him stay in their old house until he finds something.
They actually aren't in a hard and conflicted relationship right now, their marriage stopped because there wasn't love between them anymore. They still care about each other.
Dean knew he wasn't in love with Lisa anymore and he suspected the same for Lisa, but he was fine with it. Lisa though thought otherwise. She asked for divorce because she said that they both deserved to find love and be loved.
So, Dean is doing his umpteenth visit for a flat that he spotted on Internet. This one seems really nice and clean, his children will be able to have their own rooms. And the kitchen looks awesome with enough place for him to cook.
The real estate agent who give him the tour of the flat isn't bad either. He has blue eyes, which looks surreal, long and dark eyelashes that match his hair and his growing beard. Dean listens to him attentively and can't help but look right into his eyes when he speaks. Dean wants to confide in him and he does that naturally actually.
He tells him that he is sick to search for a home for his family. It's been months, and he's exhausted to be disappointed each time he thinks he found something. But at the same time, he wants his children to feel good in that new home so he is demanding.
That real estate agent, Castiel, is compassionate and doesn't understand why Dean doesn't find one with his solid, complete application. Castiel tells Dean that maybe it's because others real estate agents are struggling right now. There's a lot of people searching for a new home at this time of the year, so a lot of work. Castiel admits that he, himself, is buried in work all day long.
He works 6 days a week constantly. Since Dean is really attentive to what the man in front of him says, he notices that Castiel doesn't seem to have someone in his life to get back to. So, he goes for it. He asks Castiel if he wants to go and get a drink with him once they have finished the tour.
Castiel seems surprised by the offer and looks away. He fumbles with his pen and papers and puts them on the kitchen counter. He takes a deep breath. So, Dean fears his answer.
"Are you asking me on a d-" Castiel starts asking hesitantly.
"Yes." Dean cuts him, because he somehow fears that word. It sounds too official and he's still living with his ex. Plus, it's been a while for him.
"O - okay. Yeah." Castiel agrees, and neither of them is able to look at the other.
#I think my search for a flat is starting to make me insane#I'm sick of it#because I keep getting no as an answer#and I want to fucking settle in my own place#it's exhausting energetically and emotionally#so I might as well write about that#especially because during my last visit the real estate agent was not unpleasant to look at#he had blue eyes and long dark eyelashes#and my thought was 'babygirl'#would supernatural also have changed my taste concerning men?#in addition to my media consumption and my taste in music and my hobbies#and since I won't be able to ask him on a date#I might as well write about dean asking that to cas#I had this thought this morning in my bed#and instead of writing it with one eye closed because it was too soon#I recorded myself pitching this little au idea to me#it turned out to be a 5 min video#might do that little recording thing every time I have another idea#cause it's better than writing in a memo when your thoughts are going faster than you typing#destiel au#destiel fanfiction#destiel fanfic#destiel fic#writing fanfiction#destiel#deancas#castiel#dean winchester#my destiel fanfic
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hmmmm "i will" by mitski as a loumand song.... armand both pre- and post-SF trying to convince himself he's doing the right thing, he's doing this for louis, he's doing this for them......
armand who considers himself fundamentally unlovable outside of his utility to a partner...... for whom love and servitude and ownership and debt are all mixed up in ways informed by centuries of abuse
who is applying what little he has received in the way of love (both real and perceived) to his current relationships, but who has never felt loved without being owned, who has never once even considered that Respecting Boundaries is an important part of loving somebody, who is used to his lover being his owner being his maker being his god, and who applies all that to his relationship with louis because it's the first time he is suddenly in the dominant position in a relationship and he is Not equipped to handle that in any way even approaching a healthy relationship
"i will see your body bare and still i will live here" considering that the highest form of devotion because surely only somebody who truly loves him could stomach to see him undone, to see him brought low, even if they were the one to undo him. is it not the most honest expression of his adoration for louis to see him brought low and rebuild him ?
"and all the quiet nights you bear, seal them up with care / no one needs to know they're there, for i will hold them for you" armand who is intimately familiar with the ways that memory can hurt you, who is desperately trying to pretend that forgetting is the same as moving on, who is taking on all the burden of this relationship and still louis is so ungrateful, how dare he accuse armand of doing this for his own benefit when it was all for louis, when armand has stayed awake a thousand days to soothe his nightmares, smooth over the edges of every hurtful recollection, when armand bears louis's traumas for him, how dare he—
"there's no need to be brave / while you sleep, i'll be scared / so by the time you wake, i'll be brave" armand who is building up an increasingly fragile house of cards, who is layering lies and adjustments and changes and more lies over each other, knowing that it's not sustainable, knowing that with every passing day it becomes harder to tell the truth, knowing that this will collapse eventually and the fallout is only growing. and then louis wakes up and everything is fine, darling, don't you even worry about it
(can you tell him that i'm so normal about him)
#lmaster37 posts#iwtv#interview with the vampire#iwtv spoilers#interview with the vampire spoilers#the vampire armand#obv this is like heavily filtered through armand's self-perception#for the record while i Do Not claim that this is ACCURATE to show!armand#i do think that it is at minimum more interesting to consider his actions through the lens of him genuinely caring for louis#if in a toxic and often self-serving way#(self-serving being. a very broad term here. consider that louis is a useful prop in armand's perfomance of elaborate self-destruction)#(as somebody with a tendency to romanticise their own mental illness that's an impulse i understand all too well)#(it's the constructing a situation so awful for everybody involved that surely at some point nobody could fault you for giving up. for me)#idk like i've seen people dismiss all of armand's more tender moments as part of The Scheme#and while i'm obv not gonna claim that that's a Wrong reading#i do think it's kinda. uninteresting. okay so everything he ever said was a lie. what's left of the character then ?#hmm still salty about 2x8 sorry. cool twist but like what does that actually mean for the character#idk i'm having a hard time reconciling 2x8 armand with the rest of iwtv armand#equal odds whether that's a weakness on the show's part or my unwillingness to reconsider a Character I Like in a negative light :shrug:#once again it appears i am incapable of not rambling in tags
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hi I love your tags so so much! they were so sweet and so interesting and creative and the whole Aphrodite type of beauty thing sounds really interesting do you have any articles and recommendations to read further into it??
-hogoflight
Hello my fine feathered (I am assuming possession of feathers if you are, indeed, capable of flight) @hogoflight! I'm always always happy to hear that people appreciate my frenzied rambling in the tags :D! I have a lot of articles and recommendations :D!! Ancient Greek notions of beauty and representations of it in their art and sculptures is a pretty well studied topic! There isn't any way for us now to know definitively what the beauty standard was (it varied widely from region to region and culture to culture after all) but here are a couple of my favourite reads about Aphrodite and what her representations tell us about idealised beauty!
Probably the most empirically extensive one I can list is Krönström's thesis which compares statues of Aphrodite and literary text referring to both the goddess and mortal women to determine physical ideals for women in five specific eras of Grecian antiquity. Including measurements of the statues there are many descriptions of Aphrodite as 'curvy' with a 'voluptuous figure' and with 'ample buttocks and bosom'.
"When the beauty traits are described in the texts, they are never extreme or anything that could not be found in normal people just that they are more beautiful in every aspect. Furthermore, the sculptures’ physical forms look healthy, they are tall and have distinct curves. Great examples of this are the Knida sculpture and de Milo (the Melian) sculpture."
Of course, these images are still idealised, and there was still a concept such as 'too fat' or 'too skinny' found in written records (and this thesis even includes analysis of pornographic writings and descriptions of the fashion and stylings of pubic hair of women from different regions!!) but from an interpretational standpoint? There is absolutely no reason why these can't refer to a fuller figure. Height was also a very important factor after all and over the course of many eras, it seems like being well proportioned in addition to the length and appearance of one's hair were the most important factors (and, like Apollo, greater beauty was given to those with curlier hair)
Mireille M. Lee's 'Other Ways of Seeing' essay which talks about the forgotten female viewers of Knidian Aphrodite which is also extremely illuminating on how Aphroditic sexuality and sensuality was perceived totally differently from the well documented male voyeuristic gaze (which was overly preoccupied with the statue's nakedness and therefore over-sensationalised the statue's physical appearance) vs women's perspective on the statue which is more centered on the beauty of simplicity in Aphrodite's garment and decoration and in her power and ability to captivate both in her finery and without it. I think it's especially useful in exploring the importance of finery, jewellry and adornment in representations of Aphroditic beauty.
"Some of the small-scale copies are heavily jeweled, especially those from the eastern Mediterranean, for example the Hellenistic gilded terracotta statuette in the Çanakkale Museum (Fig. 5) in which the goddess wears, in addition to the armband on her (right) arm, the following: a necklace with multiple pendants; cross-bands extending over both shoulders and hips, with a cascading pendant in the center; a coiled snake armband on the left arm and another snake on her left thigh, and a twisted anklet on her right leg. (The left leg has been restored, and might also have featured an anklet.)"
"Jewelry is especially associated with Aphrodite in Greek literature. As seen above, in the Homeric Hymn to Aphrodite, the goddess adorns herself with gold jewelry, dress-pins, and earrings in the shape of flowers (162–3)..."
Finally, and to me, the most important one in the argument for an interpretation of Hyacinthus as fat, beautiful and fundamentally Aphroditic comes from Brilmayer's brilliant brilliant thesis done on Aphrodite's work and influence in Archaic Greek Poetry which does away with all of that masculine preoccupation with physical proportion, measurement and bodily ideals for a focus on a Sapphic Aphroditic ideal centered in clothing, ornamentation and, most importantly cunning as symbols of Aphrodite and ultimately a feminine idealised form of beauty. This paper also discusses Pandora and Helen in these terms and it is just kind of a wonderful read tbh.
"Combining Homeric and Hesiodic elements with her own ideas, she [Sappho] alters the way female beauty is viewed. For example, the Homeric war chariot – a symbol of male, military prowess - comes to symbolise the totality of Aphrodite’s power uniting in itself male and female qualities. Having addressed the concept of beauty directly, Sappho then concludes that beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. With the help of Helen of Troy and her beloved Anaktoria, Sappho sets out to reinvent the concept of female beauty as a godlike, subjective quality that may be expressed in many ways, yet remains inspired by Aphrodite."
The conclusion to all of this of course is that Aphroditic ideal beauty is much more fluid compared to its stricter Apolline masculine standard. The nuances and understandings of both are of course, constantly being studied, analysed and scrutinised but really, if Dionysus who was both bearded and clean shorn, effeminate, birthed and rebirthed (and twice gestated!) and strongly associated with vegetation can be popularly portrayed as fat and handsome, why can't Hyacinthus?!
#ginger rambles#ginger answers asks#Once again I do not care how it happens or who I have to pay#I don't even care how much research I have to do#All I care about is more unique portrayals of Hyacinthus#Literally that's it#I will go through every academic hoop to make that possible if that's what peeps need TRUST#No because there's a genuine conversation to be had about a Hyacinthus who is split between masculine and feminine qualities#Likewise there's a wonderful conversation to be had wrt Apollo's fluidity in terms of presentation and how it does not reflect on his gende#the way Dionysus' fluidity reflects on his#Apollo is ALWAYS masculine no matter his ornaments garments makeup or action#It doesn't matter that he has the prettiest curls or wears elaborate dresses for his kitharody and dances#or values the deep dyes of the lapis - Apollo is ALWAYS male and that cannot be concealed by any finery or garment#Aphrodite however is an ally in this measure because through her beauty bridges the gap between the mortal and the divine#And we see this constantly in the way mortal beauties are able to attract the eye of many gods and how glory and ultimately immortality#are gained from these things#After all even after their deaths or betrayals or tragedies#We still tell their stories and remember their names#And what is Apollo if not the one who recites all of these beautiful memories - what is Clio if not the one who records these histories#ANYWAY PLEASE DRAW FAT HYACINTHUS#PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE#I AM ON MY KNEES I AM BEGGING (no pressure seriously I'm being very lighthearted) BUT ALSO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEEEE#TOGETHER WE CAN KILL THE PATROCLES/HYAPOLLO VISUAL PARALLELS WE CAN DO IT I KNOW WE CAN#ANYTHING SO THAT XANTHIAN DEVIL ARISTOS ACHAION DOESN'T GET ANY MORE PARALLELS WITH APOLLO P L E A S E#This is of course entirely because of my own biases and such there's nothing objectively wrong with comparing and paralleling#Hyapollo and Patrocles - however and I cannot stress this enough#P l e a s e#Thank you for the ask <33 Always a pleasure to provide more relatively obscure references mmhm#Hope this helps!#oh almost forgot
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~ Zeng Shunxi sings to you while it rains ~
Wear headphones 🎧
Song: Zeng Shunxi's cover of How Can I Not Think of Her featured in his new drama A Lonely Hero's Journey. Includes: English translation, pinyin, Mandarin Native title: 教我如何不想她 by 赵元任 (1926)
Translation and rain sounds by me.
#cdrama#A Lonely Hero's Journey#zeng shunxi#joseph zeng#gu zhou#zhang songwen#孤舟#kudos to the rain for sounding so lovely that I had to record it#enjoy the slight asmr#I couldn't find this anywhere with translated lyrics#so i took matters into my own hands#this video is the definition of 'if you want something done you have to do it yourself'#you're welcome hehe#okay but zeng shunxi's voice is so lovely like#i could fall asleep 😭#I'm imaging this as every shunxi character singing to me and it's making me cry omg#imagine wu xie singing to you#or fang duobing#AHHHH#ok I'll shut up now#dmbj#daomu biji#盗墓笔记#mysterious lotus casebook#mlc#lianhua lou#fang duobing#fang xiaobao#li lianhua#吉祥纹莲花楼
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Doctor Who: The Pyramids of Mars / The Devil's Chord
Bonus foreshadowing: The Pyramids of Mars / The Legend of Ruby Sunday
#doctor who#the pyramids of mars#the devil's chord#the legend of ruby sunday#sutekh#maestro#ruby sunday#sarah jane smith#the fourth doctor#the fifteenth doctor#four#fifteen#dwe4#dwe15#dw#mine#dwmine#doctor who spoilers#parallels#in hindsight Ruby's trip to 2024 to demonstrate Maestro's effect should have been another clue for what was coming#sorry about the slight different in the look of the subtitles in the bonus#the iplayer subtitles had the line slightly wrong so I had to do it manually#bc I think it's quite important that he doesn't say it's just sutekh but beings like him eg. maestro#also just noticed there's a typo when sarah jane says 'who don't you' instead of 'why don't you'#let the record state that those are the bbc's own subtitles#also god all the newer screenshots look so janky bc it's sooo difficult to cut such a widescreen episode into just a square#I'm only halfway through my pyramids rewatch but I'm really enjoying it#I'd forgotten that actually it's really good#sutekh is quite a menacing presence even at this point and he hasn't even appeared properly yet#also yes sutekh is spelled sutek in the pom subtitles
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also i HATE having to put my legal name on forms especially ones that give me an option to put my chosen name on there. why do you even need my legal name then. i don't think you're even going to do anything that would require it
#i'm trying to apply to a like . local clinic that does their own internal payment plan instead of taking insurance#so it's not like they even need to look up my insurance info or records or something!!!!!!!!#maybe other medical record type of stuff but . i don't think i have such a thing#unless the glasses appointment i got like three years ago counts which. i doubt#also less relevant but i don't yet have a chosen last name i'm happy with so putting both full names on something means just putting#the same last name both times. and i don't like doing that either even though there's not a real problem with it i guess
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GUUUYYUYSSSD !!!!!
‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
KIMONO MY HOUSE VINYL!!!!!!
Also funny story which is that when my brother took these to the cashier he said something like "oh... Sparks... they were here one year ago"
#YES THEM BEING THERE IS EXACTLY WHY I TOLD MY BROTHER TO GO THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE ('there' being tower records in japan)#but i find it so funny that the cashier actually remarked on that fact too#anyway. you need to know that i'm feeling so very AAAAHHHH right now. all of these are such a big deal to me#i didn't think i'd actually own KMH ON VINYL at any point#also utterly shocked about the guerilla toss CD. very exciting to have that one too#they're one of my fav bands and i implore everyone who likes unhinged and very experimental and cacophonic rock to check them out#this album (eraser stargazer) isn't the most accessible thing there is out there but i really love it#(i don't even know how to describe it properly. it's just really something to behold anyway)#the plushie is also a gift from my brother!! i'll gladly take any name suggestions for him#oh and also sparks debut album. first album that i own both on CD and vinyl as of today#it's not even that it's my fav sparks album or anything (i do really love it though and it's definitely somewhere in my top ten)#it's just that some albums feel more like they 'fit' with the vinyl format than CD in sound. to me at least#one other example of that besides this one being gratsax#ok i think that's all i have to say about this. one of the most epic hauls of my life that's for sure#OH WAIT one more thing. somewhat unfortunate actually#which is that my brother said he's pretty sure he saw a latte vinyl#but when he passed by that section again like 10 minutes later he already couldn't find it. oh latte.......#it's ok i'll have it one day. i'm really curious what went down there though. did someone really snag it in those 10 minutes???#and yes in case you're worried i did thank my brother profusely for getting me all this#and now i'm going to force him to listen to the TMBG vinyl with me so that he's PREPARED FOR THE CONCERT#that's in 3 months and that he's know about for a year and a half. ok i'm done now#goosepost
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Keith walking into the holding cell greeting all the regulars by name while Lance is sobbing lamenting that his life is over and his future is ruined (they were like. Trespassing or some shit he’s going to be fine)
lance: (actively dry heaving in the corner, on the verge of a panic attack as he imagines having a permanent record)(actually what does a permanent record even look like?)(omg is he going to have to go to COURT? like in JUDGE JUDY?)
keith: remy, this is lance. lance, this is remy, she’s my favorite alcoholic :)
#voltron#klance#honestly I imagine they got caught trespassing while ghost hunting#if they’re in Texas then they will most likely get a full on misdemeanor on their record. Texas is very big on property rights.#trespassing can quickly elevate to criminal charges in texas it is actually very serious. do not trespass in texas.#meanwhile in Maine trespassing can be just an infraction & not added to your record#like sure they're teenagers so they could get their records sealed or expunged when they're 18. but like. the garrison would know. not good#sorry i just like talking about the law#speaking of which let me go on a tangent#i do think keith frequently gets charged with trespassing. at his own shack in the desert.#and so now he is Really good at juvenile law specifically because he is constantly arguing with cops#keith: this is not trespassing. my dad owned this property & he died unmarried without a will.#keith: i am literally his child and i inherited this land after his death YOU CAN'T ARREST ME FOR TRESPASSING ON MY OWN PROPERTY.#cop: okay well the house is all burned down it's a safety hazard#keith: I AM NOT IN THE HOUSE I AM IN THE SHACK WHICH MEETS MINIMUM SAFETY REQUIREMENTS. GET FUCKED.#cop: okay but you're out after curfew--#keith: is this a game to you? drag me in front of that judge i DARE you. you want to take the ORPHAN to court over CURFEW?#keith: you want to arrest my parents? WHAT PARENTS? everyone in this county knows me as the son of a hero firefighter.#keith: a hero firefighter who died in the line of duty btw. in case you forgot. since i'm an ORPHAN who has no one who CARES about CURFEW.#keith: my dad is dead my mom is gone my brother disappeared in space im 0 for 3 parents-wise. drag me before a judge. make my fucking night#sometimes i answer an ask or make a post specifically so i can do my own separate thing in the tags#i just like talking about law. i'm so excited for law school u guys#keith#lance#lance: (freaking out)#keith: (relaxed because he knows a really good lawyer who specializes in juvenile law)#shitpost#ask#anonymous#otp: we are a good team
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been thinking a lot about the whole fanfiction commenting debate and the general feeling that fandom just fundamentally doesn't feel the same anymore -- which is true -- and, as someone who writes a fair bit of fic, it does feel like people are commenting less. it feels like people are less willing to engage with fics that are incomplete, leaving authors of wips to wonder if anyone even cares whether or not they finish it. it feels like people are willing to gush about a fic they loved in their private discords but not with the person who wrote it, and that makes me sad. but i've been wary of wading in with my opinion because it feels a bit hypocritical of me.
i super dropped off in reading fanfic a few years ago, and never fully got back into it, even though i've continued writing it fairly consistently. but i had time today and read two fics that have been on my radar. and they were both fantastic -- i commented on both of them, not out of obligation, but because i wanted to. they reminded me of what i love so much about fanfiction in the first place.
i've often felt like i contribute to fandom just by publishing my fics, and that's true! i do! but there are a plethora of other writers whose stories i've missed out on because i've been focusing most of my fandom hours on my own stuff. and maybe that's not very good for the eco-system.
i can't control how other people operate in fandom, but i can control what i do. i'm going to try and read one fic a week this year, and i'm going to make a concerted effort to leave a comment on every single one that i finish, because if i enjoyed it enough to finish it, i'll certainly have at least one thing to tell the author i liked.
i know how good it feels when someone takes time out of their day to tell me, personally, that they like something i made. and i can do that for other people. i want to do that for other people.
at the end of the day, we're all here because we love stories. and stories only survive if they're shared.
idk. i guess that's where i'm at with it all.
#i've made myself a table to track all my fic-reading this year#so i have a record of what i read and who wrote it and if i commented#but yeah fandom's been feeling quite broadly negative lately and i can't do anything about that#but i can do my part to make my own area of it feel brighter#so that's what i'm going to do
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