#i'm disgusting and i love it fuck you

[yayll]

~ a little something about Beast Dazai and his inability to let you go ~

Your hand trembles as you're about to knock on the massive office doors and you wonder if you're about to make the biggest mistake of your life.

You got too close working for this terribly lonely man, and now you're knocking at his door with the only solution you can think of to put an end to your silly infatuations that have gone on for longer than you'd want to admit and can possibly handle. You open the door slowly, and walk into the elegant and massive office space, your eyes falling right onto the dark haired man in all black hunched over the desk, scribbling away as if he didn't hear you come in. You walk quietly, and when you reach the wooden desk, your voice comes out soft and firm.

"Dazai, sir? I wanted to speak to you about something sensitive, if I may."

You chew on the corner of your bottom lip, but quickly compose yourself when you see the face of the man you've spent so much time with, the unfortunate love of your life. if it weren't for his Maroon scarf, he'd look like nothing but a black void. A burnt Black cat. He looks up, narrowed eyes scan you as he takes a sip of his tea, replying in a monotonous tone.

"What is it?"

"After much consideration, I think.. I need to leave the Port Mafia. We've worked together for quite a while now, and I can assure you it's not about the quality or enjoyment of my work. You don't even have to acknowledge this beyond me simply saying it, I just have to confess something that makes my heart ache. You make my heart ache. I know how unprofessional that sounds and that you have no use for such affections, but I can't keep pretending. It's why I think it's time for me to move onto something else otherwise my work will become disrupt-"

A lifted finger is shoved into your face, signaling you to stop, and so you do. Of course you do. You always had a habit of word vomiting when you were anxious. Dazai is staring down at his tea, and he stays quiet for a long time, trying to pick what emotion he can mask his real outraged ones with. Finally, he flashes you an unbothered look, his eyes half lidded as they taunt you. A cruel smirk curls onto his lips.

"Oh? What an awful time for your honesty! I'm currently drowning in work and responsibilities, ones that you're supposed to aid me with, actually. Thus, I have no use for your confession." He simply says.

You can feel a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. You expected this. Looking down at your shoes, you chew on your lip again.

"I had to tell you.. Like I said, you can just forget about it."

"Well you see, that's the problem. I can't forget it. The moment you uttered those nasty little words to me, I realized I have to carry the weight of finding a new secretary. And I resent that."

He looks away for a brief second, his words are bitter and laced with what sounds like remorse and irritation.

You cross your arms and sigh, your voice comes out lower than your confidence.

"I just thought that we were... I suppose I should have never dared to assume you'd ever see me as more than a-"

He instantly leans over his desk, now placing a finger on your lip, his voice just above a whisper.

"... And though these feelings you have for me may be inconvenient, it doesn't mean that they're unwelcome."

He lets his finger rest on your lips for just a second too long, meanwhile you're frozen in place feeling like your chest is going to collapse in on itself. His voice becomes softer.

"Sit, please."

You sit down, now facing each other. It's quiet for a few moments as you both study each other's expressions. This form of intimacy was unusual to everyone else but the two of you, having spent countless hours in the past working across one another without uttering a single word, yet communicating in perfect sync. You were a part of each other's routines, a never ending spiral. Dazai feels himself teetering on the edge of something dangerous, something peeling away at his very soul. He's usually so arrogant and domineering, but in this instant, he suddenly feels an exhaustion wash over him trying to keep that going. He's kept it going for so long, he forgot that he doesn't like doing it with you. You don't deserve to be a part of all of this, and he doesn't deserve to want you.

Oh how he loathes his true identity: A simple man. A human man. Your man.

When he can't take it anymore, he slowly creeps his bandaged hand on top of yours, applying light pressure, but his eyes don't dare look into yours. Not yet. Finally, you break the silence, staring down with furrowed brows at the way your hands fit around one another. You mutter under your breath, tired of being vague.

"What are we to each other, Dazai? I mean really?"

"Do I really need to spell it out for you?" He snorts, trying to cling to the last of his cruelty but failing as he lets his emotions sway his judgement.

You sigh, flipping your hand over so that your fingers can fully intertwine.

"I just don't know how I could ever take up any space in your mind. I didn't think you noticed whether I stayed or left."

He looks up, flashing you a mildly offended look, his sharp eyes narrowing. He scoffs quietly, dropping your hand and standing up from his desk. He walks over to you, his full height now looming. He bends down and scolds you.

"What an obscene thing to say. You're invaluable. You have always been occupying my mind, every minute, every second, every microsecond. I always notice. I'd notice even if I was on my deathbed."

Your breath catches in your throat, and you finally manage to swallow the lump that's building up as you stare up at your reckoning.

"I just- I'd never try to leash you, sir."

His eyes soften, and he tilts his head slightly. You drive him mad with the way you don't realize what a dog he is for you. His voice comes out strained.

"You wouldn't need to. And don't call me that. You know my name, and as your superior l'm ordering you to address me properly."

Your cheeks flush, and you part your lips, letting out the breath you can't stop holding. A faint smile appears on your face, and you stand up slowly to meet him.

"You're like the moon, you know? You control everything like the tides. You control me, Osamu."

He shakes his head, and sighs deeply. If only you could see how wrong you were. He steps closer, moving his hand up your arm gently as he trails his way to your collarbone with ghost-like strokes.

"Did you know that sometimes when I'm laying in bed, all alone after a long day of controlling things, my only thoughts are about you?"

He confesses, sincerely. Dazai brings his face inches from yours, his voice now becoming a pleading whisper. His hand travels down to your waist, gripping it gently.

"Do you find it hard to believe that you bring me to my knees, the big scary Port Mafia boss? Because if so, you're a great fool! I love spending my time with you. I quite literally need you by my side in my times of need and at any random and mundane moment that passes. It brings me unimaginable joy when you nag me to get more sleep, especially when I don't listen because I can't wait to hear you say it over and over again. I don't like it when you have plans, or when you report to anyone else but me. I want you to stay with me tonight and every single night after and I don't care how awful this sounds. I don't care about you having a life outside of me."

Your throat feels tight, eyes wide at the fervor of his words alone. You reply with a shaky breath.

"Every single night after?"

"Every. Single. Night. After..."

"As if we were together?"

"We are together." He declares as if it were obvious this entire time.

Hearing Dazai be so blunt makes your mind fog over quickly, a whiplash of feelings that you never thought would ever see the light of day suddenly surface. He feels the same, realizing how much he's given away to you in such a short amount of time, but for him it's been rotting inside for years. He's been held together by the glue of your support too long not to kneel for you now. It's over for him, he's run out of masks to wear. He slowly guides your body backwards towards the opulent leather couch at the center of the room. You stop when you feel yourself backing up into the cool pebbled hide, and he slowly lowers you down onto your back with his arms supporting you. He delicately hovers over you, looking deeply into your eyes as he takes in the way your bodies feel against each other. For a moment he worries he might actually be trembling.

His breath hitches when you place a hand on the bandaged side of his face that covers his left eye. You stroke the fabric lightly, eyes twinkling with unfiltered adoration. He thinks about the only other person who's ever looked at him with such reverence, and how painful it is not to be able to tell his best friend he's in love. He leans into your touch, humming softly and closing his eyes as he molds his lips deeply into yours. It's not a kiss of sexual desire. This is a kiss born of romance and intimacy, a mutual oath of surrender. cold bandaged hands instinctively wander your body, starting at the waist down to your hips, and slowly exploring the plush of your thighs, kneading them. He runs them higher, lightly tracing your ribs with his index finger while the other hand cups your face. Dazai's mouth moves gently, and slowly pulls away from yours with a soft whine. His fingers trace your jawline as he stares at you. You taste like milk and honey. Like the moon and rain. He smiles at you, eyes sparkling like the night sky. You feel his heartbeat against your body. Every single pore of your skin is connected.

"Please— don't leave the Port Mafia, and don't leave me alone... Not tonight. Not ever. I'd become a tyrant without you."

"Is that also an order?" You murmur in between shallow breaths, dreamy eyes trained on him.

His eyes flicker over to your lips for a moment, then return to your eyes. His voice drops to something that resembles a soft whimper.

"Noo. No, it's not. I could never demand anything from you. But if you'll allow me to act selfishly, I just want to make you happy, to see you smile. I want you to keep greeting me with that tea you make every morning before our meetings. I also never want to hear you call me 'Sir' again. I am not your boss or your friend... I'm so much more than that. We've always been together. We will always be together— Is this too much?"

You shake your head, smiling uncontrollably at the way Dazai rambles in this moment, it's a side of him you've never seen in all the years you've known him. A stark contrast from the detached and cruel presence that frightens others on an almost daily basis. This seems like a person pretending to be the boss of the Port Mafia, an almost perfect imitation. You're not sure what barriers within him had to break for him to become the mushy and needy mess you see before you and what it all means in the long run, but you dismiss it for now. You get the feeling this might be the real Osamu Dazai. And that excites you.

"Never too much. I'm here and I'm staying. I would always stay."

He chuckles, it's a broken shaky laugh bordering on a sob. He buries himself in your neck, smiling against your soft skin, nibbling on it. He lightly runs his tongue against the mark he leaves, and slowly lifts his gaze to meet yours

"... I know you would. You always do."

You tilt your head, and hum in mild confusion at his odd little comment.

"Do you know something I don't?"

He flashes you a knowing smile and speaks prophetically as he lightly traces a finger over a large vein on your neck, following it down to your soft chest. He murmurs lazily while bringing his lips down to where he won't be able to get them off for the rest of the night.

"I know everything, silly.~"

The Port Mafia can wait, he's going home first.

[alevens]

zolu is maybe one of the easiest ships i've ever liked. they're dating, except when they're not, they're best friends even when they're kissing and they're still captain and first mate when they aren't. they hold hands, they hug. they have sex. they don't.

Luffy can hold Zoro's katanas and Zoro can hold Luffy's strawhat and no one bats an eye. one says "You're so cool!" and the other says "You're strong" and it's just another way to say "I see you, this is why I follow you/this is why I trust you". it's not seeing each other for a long time and still knowing how the other's steps sound like against wood and sand. the captain runs and the first mate follows. it's always "Zoro and the others" and "Where's Luffy?"

if they're just friends, if they're something more, if they don't have a label for it, at its core, it's just about how they get each other. they understand how the other's mind works. however you view them, it doesn't erase they fact that they love each other in a way they don't love other people.

[drdtfuitgumies]

May I possibly have motivational words from Arturo?

motivational words from arturo. thank you for the request!

alternate versions

[whos-hotter-jjba]

Hottest JJBA Outfit Bracket - Jonathan Joestar Preliminary Poll

[painfullyprickedandticked]

i dont think striker and alastor are characters who are "precious senpais who did nothing wrong" i just don't think they're as reprehensible as valentino or stella. their actions aren't excusable, no, but they aren't near that level of abhorrent.

[fallloverfic]

I love singNsong again reminding people in Side Story that Dokja wanted other people to read TWSA (he wrote reviews and comments! It was his first wish), and he only stopped bothering because people harassed him for it. He didn't gate-keep the story. When he's avoiding talking to Sangah about it at the beginning of ORV, it's because he knows what happens when he tells people about the story, not because he's gate-keeping it from her. He notes he's not proud of his hobby (likely because he's been bullied all through his life, including for reading the thing he loves): he finds it embarrassing to talk about, and better respects her studying Spanish in her free time (learning another language is a generally accepted thing in society). He assumes she won't care or will look at him funny (or worse) for when she learns about the novel he's into.

Basically anyone writing "let's gatekeep ORV" posts because of the anime announcement or because they dislike the manhwa or some other weirdness, y'all are the villains in the scenario.

The literal climax of the story is about sharing ORV with as many people as possible. What story were y'all reading?

[featherymainffins]

Peace and love on planet Earth but if I see one more post NOT about recovery and, in fact, encouraging eating disorders in the ed recovery tag, I might just turn into a chimpanzee and tear everyone's faces off.

[starryeyeddreamer21]

Characters as things I've said/heard people say

Angel: Why did you open the door for me?

Vaggie: I needed to get something I'm not treating you like a pretty princess

Angel: But I am a pretty princess

[moon9931]

BAYUUMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

some bats.

love them all.

individuals:

and- oh my god.

YUCK!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm gonna melt it

[romaritimeharbor]

christian nationalism is getting real prominent in the u.s. lately (someone get me the fuck out of this insane ass country)

[buttercup-barf]

Under the cut are mostly self-insert doodles of decreasing quality. Again, not much directly tied to Team Fortress 2. Might as well toss these out while I have no access to my puter. Much yapping under the cut and in the tags incoming.

Another self-insert, this time less of a "here's me as a tenth class" and more of a "here's my game experiences translated into the class I would take the place of". The Cleaner. Although I guess they could still be wearing either suit. It doesn't matter that much.

That one Convict's Case taunt with Backup would be extremely funny, because the man would be on the verge of a breakdown (he does not want to go to jail so bad you have no idea). The second image- I owe no explanation. You know what I am. You see the pattern with my favourites.

The duality of the man. Resting face versus "just heard you express interest in religion/Russian folklore" face. He's not that hard to make friends with, when you pull him away from all the explosions.

Some doodles of trying to figure his face out. Unfortunately, the more I stare at him, the more I worry that he looks like A Certain Guy With The Last Name "Kazarin", and the fear of never being original in my life caught up to me.

Don't look at me, don't perceive me, I refuse to explain any of my actions to you.

[ayrennaranaaldmeri]

working on a gifset and can i just say phia saban the ACTRESS THAT YOU ARE:

the sharp fucking turn when he's like wubuwbwu its a lieeee, the withering looks she gave him. it was excellent.

[mr-laveau]

The more responses I see to the earlier post regarding the fraction of issues regarding people's hcs and the way they enforce problematic racial stereotypes, the more I see people missing the point.

So! Let's revise the point in simpler terms!

POC: Hi! We've noticed this pattern of portrayal and we just wanted to know what's up with that? It's kinda weird as shit to see–

Fandom: You're telling us what to do! Mind your business! We were fine without this before!

POC: ...

POC: WE JUST WANNA KNOW WHY YOU DOIN ALL THAT–

No one, and I mean NOT A SOUL, gives a shit regarding who you headcanon as whatever race–not a damn soul.

We do think it's weird that these headcanons are depicted awfully similar to the racial stereotypes prevalent in the media and all we're asking is for you to examine where that's coming from because it's making the minorities who have been ever so patient about this uncomfortable. We don't need you to put on a show about how racist you aren't, validate your ethnic HCS with racist scenarios or change your shit. We just want you to consider what those headcanons look like and how they particularly affect others when done in negligence. If you're not willing to do that and you're not willing to look outside of your view point and get the idea then at least do us a favour and say your shit with your chest so you can get blocked instead of hiding behind anons and spouting your bullshit. It's disgusting and your ignorance is tiring to see. At least let me use the algorithm to take you off my feed so I can see the people who don't make me feel shit for existing and asking for consideration.

No one is calling you racist. No one has made this implication. We all just want you to unpack something because it's weird and we can't exist in a space where everyone is blatantly reinforcing damaging stereotypes and denying POC a welcoming space. But if that's too hard for ya then all I'm gonna personally say is:

It's pretty fucking hypocritical that y'all wanna consume media that discusses and critiques systemic racism enforced in schools, the media and society, but you wanna act like you're not adding to the problem those literary allegories represent.

P.S. Centrist behaviors and silence can and will be read by me as being complicit, and wanting to sweep this under the rug is telling of how fucked your mindset is.

[memento-morri-writes]

So, it's been a million years since I've done any real writing, but I was toying around with potential descriptions for one of my dnd campaigns, and I'm really proud of how it turned out:

tw for graphic description of an injury

Every inch of [Rook's] back and shoulders is raw, covered in dozens, maybe hundreds, of small cuts. They overlap and merge so that his entire back is one giant wound. But you can't even get a good look at the cuts, because they are covered by a thick layer of dried blood, almost black in some places.

This will be part of the description the party gets upon seeing Rook for the first time after he was kidnapped by Captain Wolf, and dear god I can't wait to see their reactions both in and out of character. :)))

[dollypopup]

I think it's real obvious that if you actually like Colin you don't belong in the Polin fandom. y'all are all so ableist about him and think the absolute worst of him and a huge number of the posts and fics are romanticizing Penelope straight up abusing him

we should make a new tag because this one is NOT it

[dootznbootz]

Eh, have some Odyssey headcanons

This is nowhere NEAR all of them as I like "revealing" headcanons while writing. I'm also just a very "fluffy" person so heads up! :D

Mentioned it in a different post but Odysseus is very affectionate with his loved ones (overtly so. almost demanding in how he'll just kind of drape himself across you) Even as a kid he was like this. Often just hugging them and/or climbing up them to cuddle. It skyrockets with Penelope, as he was overwhelmed with emotions for her when they first met and that hasn't stopped. Lots of little kisses and nuzzles and cuddling. Almost always clinging to her in some way. He's strange about being touched with basically everyone else though. While he's still caring for his friends, you never know if he's fine with a hug or not. Often times he'll just give you a look of "Don't even think about it" mostly at poor Menelaus as I headcanon him as the most physically affectionate. Lots of slaps on the back and big hugs He's a little hot and cold like that

Adding to that, with Penelope, with said little kisses that he gives a lot of, he's fine with "losing" or "yielding" to her with everything but that. He's always trying to "have the last laugh" or you know, the last affection. He's perfectly fine admitting defeat to her with everything else but this. It's probably something he doesn't even realize that he does. He loves being doted on and pampered by her but also unconsciously thinks "you're getting smothered. As soon as you stop moving your hands through my hair. I'M gonna smother you" Get adored, Penelope. (●♡∀♡) I am living vicariously through these dummies.

Laertes always had a "green thumb" even before he left the palace to work in the fields. He always liked plants. If you know how J.R.R. Tolkein writes, basically nonstop about ferns and undergrowth and such, that's Laertes. If you go on a walk/hunt with him, he'll often just look at plants and be happy and likes to study them. He was very picky about how plants are arranged on the property. He's a bit more quiet and "gruff".

Odysseus definitely mostly takes after his mother in almost everything. Her humor and mischief, her looks, even learned to woodcarve from her. She and Penelope get along great and she's definitely the "life of the party". (it's MY headcanon and I can do what I want!!!) While Laertes loves his trees and plants, it's even better when he can share that knowledge and passion with his wife who creates something entirely new with that plant (aka wood). "That's walnut you know. Did you know it blahblahblahblah".

Ctimine actually takes a lot after Laertes but mostly in the "kind of quiet" way but she's the type to make one-liners that make everyone in the room laugh. (that she gets from her Mother. I actually want Laertes to be kind of awkward lol) It's a "she doesn't talk much but when she does. You should listen because she's fucking funny." She actually likes plants as well. (as a child she would find out what stuff tasted horrible and then dare Odysseus to eat it. And ofc he did it basically every time. "Eat a raw Olive, idiot. >:) " ) and probably was more into herbology and its uses. When Odysseus comes back, she and Laertes want to know every detail of the Lotus and the Moli Root.

Penelope has a sweet tooth! Also, I have her quite short despite being a Naiad as I have a headcanon that like a lot of fish, water nymphs grow to the size of the body of water they're in. Or in this specific case, BORN in. Penelope was born in a creek/stream🥲 Her mom dove into the nearest source of water and that was it. (kind of goes along with her duck myth) She also canonically says the most out-of-pocket shit (remember the sneeze of death???) she's a "weird girl". She has been "weird" since the beginning. Weird girls are hot as fuck, you cowards!

Penelope: One time, I fell asleep at the bottom of the river and I woke up to a catfish trying to eat my arm. Mom and I killed it and ate it afterward. Odysseus, twirling his hair and giggling: You showed that catfish who's boss. You're so hot. Please be my wife

(That's all you're getting on her. The Wife of all time will be getting her own headcanon post all to herself because she deserves it. I am doodling lil hearts around her face. *I am shot by Odysseus*)

This'll probably be my most unpopular one but yeah. Odysseus isn't the shortest of the Achaean kings. He's actually taller than average (great grandchild of Hermes genes and his mom is tall. Laertes is shorter.) and while shorter than the other kings. The title of the shortest goes to Diomedes. I love the thought of this absolute killing machine being the shortest in a "He's small? What can he do?" and then he just fucks everything and everyone up. He's a chihuahua. Small, full of rage, "loud of warcry", and always wanting to fight. >:)

That's all for now. Honestly, thank y'all so much for being so sweet. It really means so so much. I was kind of afraid I was too "fluffy and soft" to make content for the Odyssey fandom as while yes, they've all done monstrous actions and I definitely still plan to have them steal, lie, barter, fight, etc. I kept getting worried if I was just making shit too soft you know? Too fluffy. Too "romantic". I have him sneak into a garden and cut someone's flowers for his wife but would he even do that?? Is that too nice of him?

I wear my heart on my sleeve and in my writing, I'm the same way. :D Just how I am! And I'm having fun!