#i'm constantly exhausted
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#no more power naps#I need a coma#don't we all bert#I know I do#I'm constantly exhausted#no amount of power naps will change that#if I could be in a medically induced coma for like a week I think that might solve my exhaustion#but oh well#I have responsibilities#so I can not be in a medically induced coma#too bad#bo burnham#bert gifs#bo burnham inside#bo burnham make happy#bo burnham what#robert pickering burnham#egghead#inside bo burnham#happy sunday#have a good week bertgif nation
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Good Morning, World.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang yanli#jiang cheng#'Good Morning World' because to wwx the jiang household is what grounds him. It is his burrow and blanket.#The familiar soup and banter is his home. The familiar arguments and tension are also his home.#Notice how quickly he throws LWJ to the side once he has JC back in reach! 'He was so boring; I wish *you* were there!'#WWX is very quick to constantly remind himself that he fits within a very specific power structure and role.#He pushes boundaries but almost always only the boundaries that he knows he can push against.#Sitting here now and realizing that if WWX did take life more seriously and act more diligent he would totally usurp JC.#Because the contrast with Them (tm) is wwx is the one that gets in trouble and JC is the one that sticks to the rules.#That responsible appearance especially in contrast is the thin line that holds JC's self-esteem together.#And lets be fully honest. From JC's perspective the last week was also extremely intense and stressful.#It truly was a feat to travel so far so fast despite also being exhausted. Never knowing if it is all in vain.#JC said with his actions 'I would move mountains for you and dig through stone with my bare hands if it meant reaching you.'#and WWX said '[read]'#It's about wwx chronically asking 'why would someone care for me? I'm always tool to be used' than accepting that people love him.
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Me: still finding knives in unexpected places 😭
Style sees Fadel though the window and it's delight and joy and relief and excitement because this is the miraculous second chance that Style, after a week of fruitless longing, was beginning to think was lost to him forever...
...while Fadel turns to look at Style through the window and it's agony and disbelief and sorrow and despair as he watches the last light of his hope for a new life worth living be snuffed out like a candle in the wind.
#the heart killers#fadelstyle#joongdunk#joong archen#dunk natachai#i'm still being constantly blown away over and over again at how good they are at emoting silently#style's sheer JOY -- the way you feel the breath catch in his chest when he registers that it really IS fadel through the window#vs the utter exhaustion of fadel's sorrow and the way you can SEE the light going dim in his eyes#all to make sure that we SUFFER T_T#thk ep 6#thk parallels#hui talks thai bl#hui talks thk
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Did you see the clip of Joe yesterday?
Is it a clip now? Oh lord....was it funny at least?
It was the first time he ever used the F word in a conference.
He cursed? Y'all lying...I be trying to get him to curse, he don't curse when I'm talking to him...
#again love love loveeee this style of press conference where they get joe to talk about ja'marr a lot the first day#then report everything he said back to ja'marr the next day#truly they do have to communicate with each other in the MOST indirect convoluted ways#exhausting! just make them do these together!!! can you imagine them arguing about whether ja'marr's ever asked for the ball like that??#but still. this version of reality is also Very Good.#is it a clip now?? oh lord... just so wife embarrassed about husband coded if i'm being honest!#like 'oh what did he say now!! i hope it was at least funny!'#and then not believing that joe cursed (just like he didn't believe joe winked earlier in the year)#constantly trying to figure this man out <3#you know he's going to be on joe even more to curse now#the thing is i feel like joe probably doesn't curse much in casual conversion. midwestern polite boy and all that#but he's a grown-ass man so i'm sure he DOES curse occasionally#but maybe knowing how much ja'marr wants him to...he purposefully does it less around him to mess with him#that's a dynamic i fully believe for them#ja'marr chase#joe burrow#joe'marr
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((hey guys!!!))
((just wanted to make a little announcement that the blog is gonna go on hiatus for bit! During this time I wont be making responses for any questions unfortunately.))
((Just need a little break from Eri to focus on some other things at the moment! He will be back though! 🕺))
#eridan ampora#homestuck#eridan ask blog#((Eridan is a snowbird and leaves when it gets too cold lol))#((which it is here…..very chilly))#((anywayy I hope I'm not disappointing anybody! 😩))#((i just need to mentally step away))#((this blog has been my main focus for months and Its taken up all my mental energy#((almost becoming exhausting :())#((constantly thinking of replies#((what to draw#((feeling bad about not responding to people#((critiquing my ability to write/draw etc))#((anyway….yeahhhh just gonna….step away so I don’t go crazy lol))#((thank to everyone btw for all the support and sweet messages 🥺❤️. even if I never replied#((i promise I saw it and it means a lot))
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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people doing this whole "look at how rhaenys acted with corlys's bastard son vs how catelyn acted with jon snow" to demonize one or the other is weird because, like, maybe it's just me, but i think that catelyn and rhaenys had different reactions because they're different people in different situations.
#personal#like they're clearly very different people with different personalities#hell even the situations are different#rhaenys kinda stumbles upon corlys's bastard whose name i don't know cuz i'm not watching this season just kinda in passing#she knew he existed but didn't really have to deal with it at all#meanwhile ned comes home with this baby he says is a product of cheating and just goes 'he's living here now'#there's no space for catelyn to separate herself from the betrayal of fidelity the way that there likely was for rhaenys#like i'm not catelyn's biggest fan#not just because of her treatment of jon (altho yeah i'll be honest i'm not a fan) but there's stuff about her personality#and how she views the world and what being in her head is like that can rub me the wrong way#(she's just so constantly judgy and rude about nearly everyone she doesn't know and even some that she does and it can get exhausting)#but she's a different person to rhaenys and also occupies a different role than she does#rhaenys has a lot more going for her in her marriage than just being corlys's wife#she's got the bluer blood as a targaryen princess she's got a dragon she's got power and influence in her own right#meanwhile catelyn doesn't have nearly as much#she's a lord's daughter yeah but in this entirely new kingdom where she is now her power comes from being ned's wife#and mother to his children#in her head jon is a threat to that power due to being not only a reminder of ned's infidelity but also how his placement could supplant#her children and thus herself by extension#along with her just having a different personality to rhaenys that makes her harsher about it#(i mean i still don't LIKE that she takes it out on jon who certainly didn't ask to be born but i at least understand from characterization#and again: they're different people! no shit they'd react differently!#i'm just baffled at this attempt to pit GOT characters against HOTD characters all the time it's so weird#like now there's people arguing who's better between jace and robb stark and i'm just left baffled#do y'all literally not know how to consume content in any other way except petty fandom wars? my god you're annoying
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Guys I've been having a very stubborn case of insomnia for about three months now and nothing I've tried seems to help, please hit me with some advice if you can? :')
#or just hit me literally. on the head with something heavy so I can sleep#I've posted this on main already and not much came of it so I'm trying here too#my methods so far:#I don't drink coffee or energy drinks at all and I don't consume anything caffeinated not even green tea past 4pm#I drink lavender tea in the evenings#I have a very steady bedtime routine#and I take 3mg melatonin an hour before bed#my problem is that even after doing all this I just lie awake for a while and then fall into shallow sleep#and it's very fragmented I wake up very often#and then I wake up early in the morning without even needing an alarm and I can't fall back asleep for the life of me#so I'm just constantly exhausted and my head hurts and I've got tinnitus like all day#personal#posts from yahar'gul
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i feel like re: jonathan's camera, steve's reaction is way more focused on than jonathan's LITERAL CRIMES. like yes stevetommycarol like graffitied the movie theater and broke his camera, but jonathan... took illicit pictures of an underage couple THROUGH STEVE'S WINDOW. how would you feel? how would you react?
and jonathan never really faces any lasting consequences? he gets a new camera from steve. he eventually ends up with nancy. and nobody really finds out or punishes him for being a .... literal criminal....
meanwhile, steve reacting to it is treated like some huge thing bc he calls jonathan queer ?? like i get that it may be a little harder hitting considering the audience is (i think? i only know from the tumblr sample size) seems mostly queer, but context please. not excusing it, but it's the 80s during the height of the aids epidemic saur. and it's also easy to say things you don't necessarily mean in the heat of the moment. but guess what. he apologized. did jonathan?
other than that, name one thing that could actually categorize steve as someone who is Decidedly an Asshole. talking shit with his friends is such a non problem (do u not shit talk with ur friends...) and being popular doesn't mean shit unless there's evidence.
stop trying to give steve a redemption arc when he never needed ur absolution
#steve harrington#it's irritating to me#like this is primarily in the steddie space and it's genuinely made me not want to consume content#why does he have to change and explore other peoples' interests when nobody cares to do the same for him#he's constantly apologizing in fic and i hate it#tell me what he's apologizing for#tell me where he's a bully#fanon has completely twisted his character to the point where he's just completely malleable#i'm not saying fanon is wrong bc i understand projecting and adding little things to the character to make it more appealing to urself#and i definitely do that sometimes but I REALIZE IT#im not trying to claim that steve is xyz without thinking critically about it#having him put sm effort in when nobody else puts effort into him... it's exhausting#if ur gonna do that then paint it in a realistic way bc how long could anyone keep doing that#how sustainable is it to keep apologizing and hiding ur interests all of the time#it irks me
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ugh anyone else feel like the older you get, the more time passes the way it does in the sims???
like when you're a kid, an hour is a long time, but when you're an adult, an hour is barely long enough to like take a break, or maybe you can get SOME THINGS done, but before you know it, it's over, or maybe you have to get ready and you only have an hour to do so, and even if you're fast at it, you still feel like you're being rushed cuz after all an hour doesn't last super long??
#screaming into the void#don't mind me#I feel like I'm constantly living in a hurry#or in a time crunch#when I want to take a break and rest#it takes me at LEAST 2 hours to begin even feeling not exhausted#maybe it's the PTSD idk
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Day 35:
"I've got belts, way too many belts. I've got suspenders underneath here too. Why am I afraid my pants are gonna fall down so much?" -Rabbit
youtube
#Youtube#spg#steam powered giraffe#spgdailyquotes#rabbit spg#vintage!rabbit#yeah i know it's been forever#this sounds like a conspiracy but I swear there's a virus going around which has the only symptom of making you#horribly and constantly exhausted#either that or depression but i swear it's not just me#literally i slept until 4pm Saturday and had to quit class early yesterday from tiredness and brain fog#yesterday being Tuesday because I'm queueing this for tomorrow
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So, how does one maintain their joy of talking about fanfic plots/OCs with others, without going overboard, becoming unhinged, and unleashing a constant stream of consciousness about said plots/OCs that seemingly never has an end in sight, thus overwhelming the recipient of these discussions, even if they're too kind to state that they're overwhelmed outright?
Alternatively, how does one stop internalizing that they are, and always have been 'too much', 'annoying', and 'over the top', and actively silencing themselves/making themselves smaller, based on perceived moments where the recipient of the above conversations isn't responding as excitedly as they usually do, and thus must be tired of/annoyed by one's constant rambles?
Asking for a friend (it's me, I'm friend).
#text post#the exhausted pigeon rambles#kinda thought i was done with this particular thought process#but evidently it's back#yay?#i've always gotten myself so mired in obsessions that i really can yammer on about them ad nauseam for days and days (or weeks/months...)#and i'm always freaking *terrified* that this is my most annoying trait#constantly talking about said obsessions#there's never a “break”#and my parents loved telling me this was the height of annoying for as long as i can remember#so despite anyone else telling me it is NOT annoying my brain just can't believe it#and i end up withdrawing and going back into my little hidey hole#but i'm always so sad because the most fun i've ever had is engaging in discussion with other fans/writers#so when i actively deny myself that outlet it just...sucks#but to me it's better than eventually finding out the person can no longer be “nice” and tolerate it and they really do find it/me annoying#and they blow up or just ghost#i'm thirty-freaking-six why do i still obsess like this???#why can't i get a life lol
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To any Aro Mutuals that ship romantically, I have a question! Do you still call your s/is Aromantic? Or do you consider them something else?
#pan rambles#I know I got some fellow Aro mutuals so I'm genuinely curious#Because in my case. I just simply don't talk about it- In that way they're a little unlabeled#Mainly out of insecurity-afksnfksnfj#As an Aro who likes having a partner I've dealt with having to explain myself to a lot of people#and it's genuinely exhausting after a certain point#And idk...#I just feel like I'd need to constantly explain#and justify myself if my s/is are Aro but most of my f/os weren't and got into a relationship anyways#or that my f/os wouldn't want to be with me or love me because of it#But yeah-afksnfksndj Is this a me overthinking things? I wanna know if fellow Aros make their s/is aro too
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oooh, once i get some of my energy and motivation back for a couple days again, it's over for y'all. i'm comin' for ya
#rn I'm back to just. being chronically overwhelmed & exhausted.#struggling to enjoy much of anything. feel like I'm dragging myself around.#can't even log in to discord bc that's just Too Much for my brain atm :/#why is just existing so fucking tiring lmao#planning to just queue up as many drafts as I can once I can get myself to write again. for real this time!!!!#fuck the instant gratification I want to get caught up i'm tired of constantly feeling behind sfjgksh#as always & for about the hundredth time: thank you all sfm for your patience with me 😭💜#I appreciate u guys SO MUCH and I hope you're having a lovely week 💜💜💜#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.
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This entire year has really been a test of how much I can fight the loud alarm bells in my head screaming 'YOU ARE BEING ANNOYING, SHUT UP' and just do the thing anyway
#Hayley Speaks#It's been constant and loud#And I still persist#'Oh but it's okay to be annoying' Yes but it's been CONSTANT#And fighting against it constantly with no rest is EXHAUSTING#I'm still going to persist but it'd be nice to not have to fight every step of the way
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can't articulate it but "attachment styles" gives me the same 😑😒 feeling as "love languages"
#kal.dir#theeeee number of times i've seen ''i have anxious attachment style so i need a text response within five minutes every time''#or like. ''i think my s/o has avoidant attachment style because they don't feel the need to be constantly in contact with me''#idk maybe i'm just unempathetic and romance repulsed but like sometimes i read shit like that <- and all i can think is like#how fucking exhausting and suffocating it must be to be the object of their attachment#like. i'm sorry but if you start to freak out because your partner hasn't texted you back within ten minutes. you have a problem.
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