#i'm angry that you never seemed to know me at all.
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Jealousy
(Sana x fem!reader)
Word Count: 6.7k
Smut/Play angst/Fluff
Summary: You have a friend from college that is coming to visit and is very affectionate with you. Sana doesn't like that and retaliates before taking this "issue" into her own hands.
TW: THIS IS JUST FUCKING WITH A HINT OF BACK STORY. drinking, food, eating, sex, oral, strap ons, jealousy, degrading, top sanaaaaaaaaa, choking, hand cuffs, just a whole brain rot moment. Let me know if I missed anything.
AN: Hey hi hellooooo! (I BARELY PROOF READ THIS PLS FORGIVE) I feel so out of practice with writing! I had the brain rot and needed to do the thing. I hope you all enjoy this! Thank you to @ghostykapi for always helping me get plot points down like girl what would I do without you and for @psylocke142 and @sscieloz because the three of you constantly keep me sane while I'm losing it when brain does not work LMAO
Please enjoy and drink some water today! Ask are always open and feedback is always welcome! :)🖤
“You don’t need to be nervous, babe. She’s going to love you!” reassuring your wife sitting next to you in the booth of your favorite cafe.
Nayeon, your best friend from college/roommate at the time was in town and wanted to visit and catch up with you - and meet your wife, Sana. You couldn’t be more excited for them to finally make acquaintance after years of talking both of them up to each other.
“I know, I know but I just know how much she means to you and I want to make a good impression, you know?” puppy dog eyes looking up at you, melting you as always.
Sana looked stunning today, wearing a lavender cardigan and a white tank top underneath with some light washed oversized jeans paired with white sneakers. Her hair is long and framing her face so perfectly, with a lavender bow in her hair.
Looking so sweet and kind, glowing in her seat while making eye contact with you. You’re so in love with her, a masterpiece come to life - moving ethereally and making beautiful waves that crash happiness and warmth into the depths of your soul.
Submerging you completely into Minatozaki Sana.
“And you will, my love.” slipping your hand into hers, toying with the ring that was the product of the love built between the two of you.
“You’re sure?” looking down at your hands intertwined, watching as your hands fiddle with the gold band and then back up at your eyes that were filled with pure admiration.
“Never been more sure about anything.” beamed back at her.
It was true, asking her to marry you was the best decision you had ever made and you would do it a million times over, in every single life.
Sana’s cheeks flush red, bringing the hand that wasn’t intertwined with yours under the table up to cover her own smile, sheepishly trying to not get flustered with the way you still flirted with her, even after years of being together.
“Hello! My name is Michael. Can I start you off with some drinks?” the waiter must have snuck up to the table while you were wrapped in each other.
“I’ll have a sweet tea, please.” looking over to Sana who is still trying to compose herself.
“And she will have a hot green tea with honey, thank you.”
“Ma’am?” looking over to Sana.
The waiter seems to be completely ignoring what you said your wife wants…Cocking your head and furrowing your brows, you tilt your head up to look at him.
“I’d like what she said I wanted, thanks.” confusion laces her voice as the waiter sighs with a smile at the sound of her voice and walks to gather your drinks.
“What the fuck is that about?” back tensing in anger, staring daggers at the man who just flirted with your wife.
“You’re cute when you’re angry.” a cold finger catches your chin and leads you to look right into her eyes, inching her face closer and closer to you.
“Nothing to worry about, baby.” voice squeaking with pure happiness at your jealousy as she places her lips on yours, sending you into a whirl wind.
“I’m all yours…forever, remember?” lifting her hand out of yours to flash you the ring and wink.
It takes everything in you to not sink to the floor, you never should’ve taught her how to wink. It’s going to be the death of you and you’re already so weak to her touch that a wink on top of it could send you into a spiral of thoughts of love, and some others that are lust driven.
“Y/n?!” shouted from the front of the cafe, the voice is familiar that can only mean one thing.
“Oop! There she is!” standing up to spot her.
Seeing her and trying to catch Nayeon’s attention and wave her to the table.
Nayeon was wearing a very small crop top, showing off her stomach, and a very small pair of shorts. Very revealing, which doesn’t surprise you. She was always comfortable in her s
“You’re late!” is how you decided to her her attention.
Squealing at the sight of you, you open your arms for Nayeon to practically tackle you to the floor.
“I missed you so much Y/nnie! Look at you! You’re glowing. Ugh I just know that Sana is taking SUCH good care of you. And this, is your color.” grabbing your face and kissing your cheeks obnoxiously with a loud smack to each side, before tugging on the royal blue sweater you were currently wearing and pointing down to the shoes that matched it.
“I miss you too, Nay! I promise you she is and thank you!” bringing her in for another tight hug before letting go, Nayeon’s hand trailed down your arm and stopped in your hand, linking your fingers together.
Head turning start your introductions to one another and you realize that you might’ve forgotten to tell Sana that Nayeon is very physically affectionate…and that it meant nothing…oops.
Your wife’s jaw is on the floor, eyes wide and you can see the annoyance simmering underneath the shocked expression on her face.
“Nayeon! This is my wife, Sana.” throwing the word “wife” in, hoping that it would calm Sana enough to get through lunch so you could explain yourself later.
Already knowing that this was going to be a big conversation tonight.
“Oh my goodness! You’re stunning!” Nayeon let go of your hand and brought them up to grab Sana’s, pulling her out of her chair.
“It’s so so so lovely to meet you! I’ve heard so many wonderful things!” Joyfully offered to your wife as Nayeon wrapped her arms around her.
“Likewise!” Sana’s voice is chipper but the glare she’s giving you from over Nayeon’s shoulder is the exact opposite.
“Shit.” stated under your breath, as Nayeon and Sana part ways to create more small talk between the two of them, everyone taking their seats to get brunch started.
Sana and you take your place on the side of the table you were already on, Nayeon sitting across from you in the booth as your wife and bestfriend slip from small talk into questions about each other.
Both of them seem comfortable, this is great.
A jealous Sana was sexy, the way anger flared behind her eyes never failed to get you wet, even though it was usually not the time for it. Not willing to let this become a situation of jealousy because it’s Nayeon…if it was a stranger, sure but you want these two to get along.
Maybe Sana would get to know Nayeon and realize that the affection wasn’t something that meant anything at all.
Maybe she’s already forgotten.
The waiter walks back over and places your drinks down on the table, only addressing Sana in the process.
“Here you are, Ma’am.” his hands are slightly shaky as he placed the drink down.
“Thank you, sweet heart.” winking at him seductively.
…she had not forgotten…
You were regretting teaching her to wink even more so, as watched as the waiter’s thoughts leave his mind, swearing you could see his heart beat in his neck.
“uh…uhm...N-no p-p-problem, m-ma’am.” tugging at his collar to relieve some of the pressure Sana just placed on him.
Nudging her with your elbow, the look you’re giving her sliced through all the tension of this and was now turning into something she saw as a game.
Pawn move, your turn.
Nayeon is taking all of this in, without interrupting the show unfolding, leaning back in her seat and cocking an eyebrow. Does she realize what’s actually happening here or does she think that Sana is insane?
“I’ll take an iced americano, thank you.” to the panicked man, giving him the exit he seemed to crave so desperately.
“Right away, ma’am!” rushing off behind the doors to the kitchen, you swear you can hear his sigh of relief when he steps out of sight.
“So how is Jeongyeon? How are things?” inquiring so you can distract for what she was witnessing.
“She’s great! She’s back home with Dahyun. They just opened a coffee shop so they’ve been busy bodies with that.” smiling in pride of what her wife and best friend were doing.
“No way! After all these years of wanting to? I’m so happy to hear they’ve finally done it!” returning the sentiment back to her with excitement.
“And Dahyun is still rooming with you both, I assume?”
“Our perfect third wheel!” both of you burst into a giggle, Sana watches how close the two of you are.
You can feel her energy shift into possessive and jealous, more tense by the second as you continue on with brunch.
Nayeon reaches her hand over the table to grab yours, genuinely smiling at you as she prepares to say something.
Sana is seething next to you and you can already tell what she’s going to do about it.
“It’s truly so great to see you, I’m so happy they called a meeting here so we could get together and I could meet Sana too!” the warmth and friendship radiating off the sentence went right over Sana’s head as she laid her hand on your thigh, digging her nails right into the denim of your black jeans.
The waiter, Michael, comes back over with Nayeon’s iced americano and places it on the table.
“Do you need some more time to look over the menu? Or have any questions?” the poor boy is shaken to his core, and it’s about to get so much worse.
“What’s your favorite thing on the menu, honey?” Sana says without looking up at him.
“Oh, you know I love the ba-” you start.
“Not you.” putting her hand up to halt you, mid sentence.
“Michael.” looking up at him with those puppy dog eyes and a smile.
You swear you can physically see his knees turn to jelly.
“Uhm…well I r-really like the pancakes, ma’am.”
Rolling your eyes in disbelief, you wait for her response, making eye contact with Nayeon and communicating with her silently as all of this transpired.
“Pancakes it is then.” putting on her sweetest voice possible before handing him the menu and intentionally touching his hand.
“Wow, your hands are so strong…” caressing the top of one of them before pulling back.
“I wonder how useful those could be…”
“Sana! Enough!” the rage set in with you snapping at her, she had pushed this too far and she knows it.
“Oh, come on. It’s all in good fun, right?” kissing your cheek and then winking at him again.
“Right, Sweet heart?” referring to Michael again.
Staring at her in disbelief, your jaw tightens as you look back at Nayeon who is holding in her laughter, flushing red from the suppression.
“And no laughing out of you!” pointing to her across the table, her arms shoot up to claim her innocence.
“I’m just here to visit a friend! I swear!” chuckling through the sentence and bringing an ease to the table.
“A friend…right…” Sana seems to not believe but laughs along anyway.
Nayeon managed to cut the tension like she always did with a silly moment and for that you were grateful.
—
Over the course of this brunch, you had lovely conversations that everyone was involved in. Nayeon and Sana got along really well, despite the introduction, enjoying a lot of the same things and having lengthy conversations about many different topics.
“How long are you in town for?” Sana asked before taking a sip of her drink.
“I fly home tomorrow night, unfortunately.” sighing and knowing that the visit would be short lived.
“That’s too soon.” quipped back with a frown.
A sudden sparkle behind her eyes and the twitch of her brow shows you that she’s up to something.
“Where are you staying?” expeditiously inquired through a new tone of excitement.
“Well, this trip was very last minute so I’m hoping I can get a hotel down town by the airport. If anything, I can just sleep in the rental car and head to the airport tomorrow afternoon.”
“Nonsense! You’ll stay with us!” This surprised both you and Nayeon.
Sana offering Nayeon to stay at your home was a very big deal. You both really liked your privacy and for her to extend that invitation was...not like her.
“I wouldn’t want to impose!” Nayeon is dismissive of the thought, looking over to you for some hint that this would be okay.
Nodding to her very softly, you agree.
“I insist, Nayeon! I can’t have my wife’s best friend sleeping in discomfort when we have a perfectly good guest room for you to stay in.” Sana’s hand reaches out over the table to grab Nayeon’s, reassuring her that all was well.
“Alright, I’ll stay.”
“Great! I’ll get the check.”
The waiter must’ve been listening as he was immediately when he heard Sana wanted something. Nayeon let out a belly laugh when she saw how quickly he was present, and you rolled your eyes.
Reaching out to hold your hand, Nayeon decides to move a pawn on the gameboard.
“Y/nnie, did you ever tell Sana about what we used to do?” the flirtatious tone perks up Sana’s ears, the scowl on her face already gently forming around her squinted eyes.
“Nayeon, what are you talking about?” trying to brush off what Nayeon was hinting at so Sana wouldn’t get upset.
“What did you guys used to do?” attempting to keep cool about the new information that just dropped onto the table like an anvil.
“If Y/nnie doesn’t remember, I don’t think I should say, besides…I don’t know if you’d be too excited about hearing it anyways. Just a very fond memory to live in my mind then.”
Nayeon winks at Sana and then stands up.
“See you at your house!” swiftly walking out of the cafe.
—
The walk to the car was silent.
Only the sounds of your shoes against the concrete.
Walking around to the passenger seat, you open the door for Sana and wait for her to get inside. She’s just standing by the car and clenching her jaw, you can see the muscles flexing causing you to swallow harshly - nerves tingling as you walk around to the driver’s side door.
Sana suddenly slams the door closed without getting inside before promptly opening it again, for herself, and gets into her seat, closing the door behind her.
Blinking a few times at how petty that actually was, you slip into the drivers seat and start the car.
The first 5 minutes of driving are just as quiet as the walk to the car, Sana’s stewing in her jealousy next to you and you’re just waiting for her to say something.
Slowing down and stopping at a red light, you look at the road in front of you until you feel her eyes burning a hole into the side of your face.
“What did you guys used to do?” sneered at you in disgust.
“We used to smoke weed and sit on a couch, babe. A few concerts, a couple parties but nothing that warrants this reaction.” trying to reassure her that there was no threat from Nayeon.
“Sounds like there might be more. Tell me.” her stern tone rattles you to your core…causing that flash of heat under your skin that screams in desire.
“I mean we hooked up once a long long time ago. But it was one time, and it never happened again.”
“You WHAT!?”
Uh oh.
“You guys had sex?!”
“Baby, we were 18 and young. Probably drunk. It only happened one time. I didn’t think it was that important.” trying to explain but she did not want to hear it.
At. All.
“No wonders she’s so fucking affectionate with you! She probably still wants to fuck you. What the fuck, why wouldn’t you tell me this?!” through clenched teeth and she crosses her arms and shifts away from you.
“Sana, it meant nothing then and it means even less now. I love you. I want to be with you. This was a long time ago, okay?”
Silence.
“Sana.”
More silence.
“Sana!” rising in volume to get her attention.
“Okay, fine. Whatever.” waving her hand at you, the weak signal that she would be fine about this.
“Sana, Nayeon is my best friend…okay? That’s all. You are my wife. I married YOU. Not her.” reassurance making it’s way to her as you try and defuse.
“I trust you. She’s your best friend…I’ll be on my best behavior.” rolling her eyes and sighing next to you.
A fight given up a little too easily…knowing her, she was planning something else.
This was going to be a long night, wasn’t it?
—
Dinner came and went as quickly as brunch did. Spending the night lounging around the house and watching movies with Nayeon and Sana was such a good way to spend the evening - despite the argument in the car earlier.
It seems like they’re getting along very well, giggling with each other and nonstop chatting. It seems Sana is getting comfortable and actually trying to get to know your best friend.
That warms your heart more than anything. She was really willing to put her jealousy aside for you…it’s impossible to not love her more and more every single day.
Nayeon and Sana decided they wanted to watch a movie, so you let them pick while you went and got some snacks from the kitchen.
Returning to find them on the couch whispering to each other, you decided to just sit on the other side of Sana and let them press play when they were ready.
They picked a weird comedy you had never heard of, you decided to just scroll through your phone while the movie played on.
—
Around 10pm, Sana stretched and yawned, leaning into your neck and sighing into you. Toying with the end of your shirt lightly and scooting closer to you.
“You getting sleepy, my love?” leaning your cheek against her forehead and wrapping your arms around her.
All she could do was nod her head softly and nuzzle into you further.
“Why don’t you go and get ready for bed? I’ll show Nayeon where she will be sleeping and meet you in there, okay?”
“Okay. Goodnight Nayeon. Thank you for today!” standing up, giving Nayeon a hug and sluggishly making her way to the bedroom you shared and closing the door behind her.
“She’s a tough one, huh? I never thought I’d see you go for someone jealous…especially with how jealous you get!” Nayeon nudged you as you both stood up and you made your way down the hall to the guest bedroom.
“I wouldn’t say though! She’s just not used to people being touchy with me. She likes a little jealousy…and I mean, you know I like possessive. Even if this round was a little intense. I’m really happy you both got to know each other better so we can do this more often” smiling at Nayeon.
“You both are a match made in heaven. I’m really happy for you, Y/nnie. She’s lovely. Good luck later!” booping your nose lightly and turning to go into the room.
“What does tha-…You know what, I dont want to know…goodnight.” dismissively waving your hand at her while closing the door shut. Her laugh can be heard from the other side of it.
Walking back to your own room, you can’t help but wonder what that meant…good luck? with what? Maybe it was just her trying to psych you out…
Trying to be quiet as you enter, you don’t see Sana on her side of the bed, assuming she’s still in the bathroom, you strip out of the clothes you spent your day in and changed into just a large T-shirt.
The bathroom door opens up softly while you’re bringing your clothes across the room to put in the laundry basket, not bothering to look up, you toss the clothes in the vessel and turn around to crawl into your side of the bed.
That’s when you finally register what is happening in front of you.
Sana has changed into her red, lacey night gown…the one that’s completely see through…the one she knows you can’t resist.
Trying not to drool at the sight of her and how sensual she is in her movements, the way her hips sway and the way she’s looking you up and down like you’re prey to her.
Taking a few steps closer to you, she watches as you stand there in total shock - ready to drop to your knees for her.
“I think I need to remind you what it means to be my wife.” sultry, sexy tone dripping off her tongue, melting through your brain - the ache for her very present between your legs.
“I think you need a reminder of who you belong to…” the sentence lingers in your mind as she makes her way over to you slowly.
Fuck.
She’s playing hard ball with you, wanting you to submit to her immediately…and you’re tempted. It’s hard not to be when she’s like this.
Usually so soft and sweet, but when that bedroom door closes, she’s in charge and you didn’t feel like giving her that power that easily, even if you knew you’d end up sore tomorrow.
“I need to be reminded? Ha! You must not remember what you did.” flipping the script on her, crossing your arms while you wait for your reply.
The devilish smirk translucently sits across her mouth for a moment, before dissolving seamlessly into the start of something that would haunt you all night long.
The game has begun.
“What I did?!” raising her voice at you and taking a defensive stance.
“After what YOU did with your little friend! And in front of me, no less!” Scoffing and crossing her arms at the memory.
Hesitating to say anything, you try and think of a how you want to navigate this. It’s obvious how this is going to end, considering the red lace that’s barely covering her body when the idea pops into your head.
Pawn moved.
“It’s cute when you’re like this” slowly walking up to her and placing your hands on her hips and leaning into her chest, lips mere inches apart.
“Whatever.” Arms still crossed under your chests pressed together as she fights to not wrap her arms around you.
“Awh come on, my jealous baby. You know it’s only you.” Trailing a finger up her side and watching as she swallows harshly, breath hitching as she mimics your movements.
As her hands glide up your sides, the tips of her fingers graze lightly over your skin and lift the over size shirt with them - revealing what was underneath.
Nothing.
Sana lets out a short laugh when she sees your bare ass, smacking it loudly and leaning forward into you with a hand slithered up the back of your neck and through your hair.
Check.
“And who says that you’ll get what you want from me? You think being a slut for others gets you rewarded?” rebutted in a whisper with her lips brushing past yours so delicately.
Pawn moved.
Hands coasting up her back and into her hair that’s tied into a bun, you kiss up her cheek and right to her ear.
“If you won’t, I know someone who will.” another peck to her cheek.
Check. Mate.
“Someone in the next room…she’s done it before. You’ve seen her hands, right baby? Can’t you just imagine how fu-”
Sana suddenly lets go of you. Shoving you, hard, onto the bed.
“Don’t fucking move. You’re going to regret what you said but any disobedience going forward will only result in worse. Do you understand me, whore?” the mood is rage scorched, scowling down at you as you nod your head one time before she sets off to the closet.
She pulls out the box, grabs her strap - the larger one - slipping it on and tightening the sides so it fits tightly. What surprises you is when she reaches back into the box and pulls out some hard metal handcuffs you rarely ever used.
“You think you can just talk about someone else fucking you and get away with it, bitch?” walking up to you, twirling her finger around in front of her, signaling you to turn over onto your stomach.
“Hands behind you.” her stern voice is making you dizzy, unable to actually register what she’s actually saying.
“Now!”
A hard smack to your lower thighs startles you, the sting is delicious but you listen to what she says and put your hands behind your back.
The metal is cold against your wrists, wiggling to see how tight they were. There wasn’t much room to move at all.
Running your fingers against the metal to find the loose bolt that usually releases the sex cuffs, you can’t find one that rattles against your fingers.
“Awh…you thought I’d use the fake ones on you?”
Oh, shit.
Sana pulls you to the edge of the bed, feet flat on the floor and torso bent over the sheets. Taking the head of the strap, she runs it up and down your slit in a very unhurried fashion.
“Look how wet you are.” slapping the end of the dildo on your clit a few times just to hear it splatter against you.
“Did you get wet like this for her too?” gliding back over your slit this time dipping between your lips and grinding against your clit.
A gasp leaves your lips at the sensation, the burst of pleasure that sent shockwaves through you.
“Answer me, slut.” she’s leaned over your back and in your ear, grinding softly against you.
Holding you down by the chain with one hand, the other slips up to your neck, holding your throat to force you to keep your head up.
“Why don’t you…fuck- ask her?” whined out between the sluggish strokes of Sana’s strap.
Immediately coming to a halt when what you said registers in her mind, she grips your throat tighter, you can feel her tensing her body.
“What the fuck did you just say to me?!” growled as she lifts herself off of you.
Rabid, feral and unhinged, Sana can’t seem to get a grip on herself. Taking the chain of the cuffs in her hand and tugging hard, she flips you over on your back. Lost in lust and rage, she grips the collar of the thin oversized shirt you were wearing and rips it clean down the middle in one harsh tug.
You’re lost in your own neediness as you start to drip onto the floor, waiting for Sana to make her move and put you in your place.
Watching as she stands before you, strap brushing up against your core while her hands are clenched into fists next to her.
You swear you can see the steam spewing from her ears and her jaw clenching. Nudging her hips forward, the sensation of the strap against you pushes you closer and closer to begging for her and you know that’s exactly what she wants.
Sana’s hand flies down and smacks your thigh, the sound is brutal but the pain is something you crave.
“I said, what the fuck did you just say?”
You’re melting, slipping into the mindset of wanting.
Wanting her.
Craving her.
“Baby” huffed out through the tension of the room.
“Please”
“Please, what?” leaning forward, her finger comes up to your collar bone and traces it down, feather light touches right over your nipple and slipping to your hips.
Her lips follow from your neck down to your nipple, brushing past her lips barely touching your skin as she descended.
“Sana, please…I need to feel you.” breathing becoming heavier as her mouth travels down to your hips, biting down when she’s low enough to cause the reaction she wants.
Bucking your hips forward, instinctual reaction from your body- her hand raises and smacks your tit. Moaning into the empty space in the room as Sana kisses her way down to your slick smeared lips.
Her breath against your pussy was enough to push you over the edge - a long carnal whine expelled in frustration at how slow she was going. Needing her to finally take you the way you knew she wanted to.
“Say. It.” maliciously whispered, eyes showing you that even if her face was stoic in this moment, there was a hunger in them.
Sana drags her tongue up your inner thigh, stopping right before you could gain any relief from the friction of her touch.
This was torture.
“Baby” a breathless attempt.
Sana inches her way back up to your mouth, leaving a trail of ever deepening teeth marks in her wake, until she’s face to face with you - noses caressing and lips teasing each other.
Tugging at the metal of the cuffs, you whimper at not being able to touch her. Wanting to pull her close to you and tempt her to break- to give in and give you want you needed from her.
Sitting in sounds of your shallowed breath, Sana smirks at you letting out a sigh.
“I can feel how wet you are, baby.” taking her hand down the the base of the strap and positioning it against your entrance.
“Dripping down my strap and knowing that you can’t touch me…Must be so agonizing for a whore like you.” taunting you through clenched teeth and a forced smile.
Gliding over your slit again, she brings her lips closer to yours, letting you lean up to her but pulling away before your lips meet.
The only thing you can think about is her ruining you. Burning sensations of the emptiness between your legs instructs you to rock your hips back and forth to try and get her to slip the tip inside you.
“What’s the safe word?” pulling out of the moment to acknowledge the boundaries.
“Red.”
As soon as the word flies out of your mouth, Sana’s hand is around your throat. Thrusting her hips forward painfully slow until she completely bottoms out inside you.
The moan you let out was music to Sana’s ears, wanting nothing more than to let the guest in your house to know who could make you like this…let them know who you belong to.
Pulling the attachment out to the tip, Sana slams back down - hard but at a slow pace.
“That’s right, honey.” hips cocking back again.
“Let her know you’re mine.” hips snapping into you creating a rhythmic slapping as she continues torturing you with the aggressively slow stake to her claim.
Lips finally meeting, you’re fighting the metal connecting your hands as you both passionately dissolve into each other.
Sana’s grip around your throat tightens as she slowly starts to pick up the pace of ramming the strap into you. Her other hand trails to pinch your nipple, giving it a flick and a few twists so you moan even louder.
Feeling all the euphoria she was presenting you with, you’re unable to stop yourself from whimpering and moaning. Any attempt at muffling them felt useless. The only sounds outside of your own moaning was Sana breathing heavier as she snapped her hips into you, was the sound of your slick against her aggressive, deep thrusts.
Sana suddenly stops, elbows on either side of you, her resting and catching her breath for a moment. Taking a second to brush the hair out of your face, she looks you in the eyes and snaps her hips into you, pressing against your cervix when she speaks.
“Does she fuck you like this, slut?” another harsh thrust.
“Unh! Fuck babyyyy- ungh” your own voice echoes off the wall and back to you.
“Can she make your pussy this fucking wet?” another rabid jolt of her hips.
The deep strokes of her inside you hit every spot imaginable, tingling building in your limbs as she keeps marking her territory with her mouth, bite marks and hickies litter your body haphazardly.
Pressure building from inside you, gasping for air when you realize how close you are to cumming.
“S-Sana! I’m gonna c-cu-”
“No.” is all she says when she pulls out of you completely and watches as you writhe and whine on the sheets.
Moaning and whining in protest as you feel the pleasure receding, Sana just smiles and watches you tear up.
“Tell me who you belong to.” tip grinding against you again, this time causing an almost out right panic in you.
“Only you! Sana, please! fuck me! I need it I need it I need it PLEASE.” tears rolling down your cheeks, inching yourself close to her.
“Sit up.”
You immediately do as your told.
Sana grabs the keys from the nightstand and unhooks your hands.
Immediately, without a second thought, you’re pulling her onto the bed and pushing her down. Her smile is huge, giggling at how desperate you are.
Sana’s hands make their way to your thighs as you fix your position on top of her, straddling her as you ease yourself down onto her.
Hands flying up to catch your waist before you can sink too far down on her, she holds you still and buck her hips up one hard time before allowing you to sit comfortably with the strap inside you.
Completely blissed out, you lean forward and lay on her chest with your face in her neck. Her soft sweet giggle can be heard in your ear.
“Is my good girl that desperate?” placing her hands on your ass and assisting you in slamming down onto her.
“I bet she couldn’t ruin you like this.” positioning her hips at just the right angle to hit your G-spot over and over again as she picks up her pace for you.
Loudly mewling out as she rails into you, the ethereal wave comes back and takes hold of you again. Slamming yourself down onto her on your own, you can only think about cumming for her.
Right as the orgasm is about to shatter through you, Sana flips you over and throws you into a mating press, thighs against your chest and starts jackhammering into you so deeply that it sets your skin on fire.
“Fuck, S-s-ana! I’m gonna c-cum! J-ust like th-that baby!”
“Tell me who you belong to, honey.” her tempo only accelerates.
“You! Only you!” turning you into a groaning mess as you come undone around her.
Vision blacking out, you practically scream as you lose your sense of self and turn into exactly what she wanted, a ruined wife.
Her ruined wife.
Every fiber of your being set on fire and you violently thrash underneath her, creating a mess on the sheets and all over your wife.
Sana is laying soft sweet pecks on your cheeks as she lets you ride out your orgasm, holding your hips still while she lightly rocks into you.
“You’re so good for me, baby.” kissing your forehead and standing up, removing the strap from inside you.
“Look at the mess you made” pointing to the lace smeared with slick.
Unable to catch your breath, you try to compose yourself to reply when she sinks to her knees between your legs.
“Let me help clean you up, honey.”
A long, wide tongued lick up your pussy has you twitching immediately, still completely sensitive and walking into overstimulated territory.
All you can say is “Fuck, baby.” as she laps at you, cleaning up the remanence of cum from your thighs and cunt.
Passing over your clit intentionally, she watches you squirm and moans into you. Hands immediately grasping at her head, trying to pull her closer.
“Is that what you want, baby?” before a rhythmic open mouth kiss engulfs your most sensitive area and turns you back into a groaning mess.
It wasn’t long before she added her fingers into your folds, slipping two in immediately and pressing them up while latched onto your clit.
Bucking your hips into her mouth, you release the loudest, guttural moan you’ve ever heard as you cum around her fingers. Barely giving you enough time to come down from your first orgasm, she expected this of you - cumming quickly for her a second time.
Feeling the droplets of sweat dropping from your forehead, you feel Sana crawl up next to you and snuggle into you. Still gasping for air, you rolled onto your side and nuzzled into her. She played with your hair until you eventually fell asleep in her arms.
—
Waking up the next day was an atrocious feeling, not enough sleep and more sore than you ever had been.
Cracking your eyes open, you realize the bed is empty and there’s laughter coming from the kitchen.
Sitting up and rolling out of bed, you stretch and wince before getting a pair of Sana’s sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt to cover yourself up.
Opening the door to the bedroom, you wipe the sleep from your eyes and meander over to where the sound was coming from, dragging your feet along the way.
Sana and Nayeon are drinking coffee together in their pajamas - Sana is wearing one of your shirts and a pair of sleep shorts, a stark difference to what she wore last night. Nayeon has on something similar.
“Well good morning to you, Y/nnie!” Nayeon blurts out before falling into a thunderous cackle.
“You look like you got beat up! I said good luck, didn’t you hear me?” continuing to laugh with Sana.
“How bad are they? I didn’t check my neck in the mirror…wait, you…you knew?!” squinting at her in judgement.
“They’re pretty bad…Sana must have a biting kink, hm? And of course I knew! The tension between the two of you can be felt light years away. Plus, you weren’t exactly quiet about it.” fighting the laughter as she winked at you.
Nayeon’s hands shoot up in innocence again.
“She’s yours, Sana. I wouldn’t dream of taking her away from you.”
Looking over at Sana, she’s got her hand over her mouth trying to stifle the giggles. She walks over to pour you some coffee.
“I think it’s more about possessive and less about biting…And what are you laughing at?! You started this!” pointing at your wife as she turns beat red.
“No I didn’t.” nonchalantly as she passes you the mug.
“Nayeon should be happy that she’s leaving tonight.” sipping the warmth and smacking your lips at the taste.
“Why is that?” curiously inquired by Im Nayeon.
Looking over at Sana, she’s embarrassed and covering her face with her hand again but for different reasons.
“I didn’t flirt with you, but Sana flirted with the waiter in front of my face like that so I’ll put it this way…I know someone who’s louder and about to get it a lot worse than I did.”
#twice x reader#twice imagines#twice smut#kpop imagines#minatozaki sana#sana x reader#kpop x reader#twice sana#wlw#twice sana smut#sana minatozaki#kpop smut#sana smut#minatozaki sana x reader#sana x fem!reader#sana x fem reader#sana minatozaki x reader#twice scenarios#sana#Jealous sana
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Damaged - part 1
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Azriel x f! reader
When the high lord sent Cassian to Ironcrest to recruit females to train, he was never expecting Cassian to bring something, or someone, back.
Word Count: 2093 Warnings: misogyny, violence, blood, use of knives, physical abuse, this is taking place in an Illyrian war camp so read with caution. I'm serious, it gets pretty dark and violent.
A/N: this is part one of a slow-burn Az fic I have in the works. I know you don’t see much of Az here, but I promise it is coming. And it will be well worth the angst wait.
masterlist || request guidelines
You stood by the training mat, eyes fixed as you were entranced by the male in the ring. His moves were graceful as he handled his sword with a precision you’d only seen in the birds that dive to the nearby lake as they hunt their aquatic prey. He swung towards invisible enemies, cutting them down with ease. As you watched him, you could only wish you could one day carry yourself with the same easy danger as he did. The males in the camp barely spared him a glance, and those who did had looks of disgust and anger on their faces.
Your trance was broken by the harsh sound of your brother’s voice, “Y/N, stop watching that bastard play pretend and get back inside. Shouldn’t you be washing my training leathers?”
Your shoulders stiffened as you moved your eyes from the training ring to the snow-covered ground below you. You mustered out a small, “apologies, I was meant to be fetching water for the wash. I just got distracted.”
He inched closer to you, the smell of sweat and grime pulling a gag from your throat that you swallowed down. His tone was quiet but harsh, “if I ever catch you looking at that brute again, I will show you what a real male can do with a sword.”
Your breath hitched, but you nodded obediently, running off to fetch water from the well on the outskirts of camp.
As you were pulling the bucket back up towards you, you were once again frightened by the sound of a male voice behind you, “I know you were watching me earlier.”
Your heart quickened as you turned, the bucket shaking in your hands, “I didn’t mean to offend you, sir, I apologize.”
The male with the long dark hair smiled softly at you, “no need to apologize. I was actually going to ask if you wanted to train with me tomorrow. You’re the only one here who seems like a worthy mentee.”
With wide eyes, you looked up at him fully, taking in the red glow of his siphons and the rich hazel of his eyes. “I would love that, but I am far too busy with my chores and my brother wouldn’t like it if I were to forego them to train with you.”
He stepped closer to you, a kind softness in his eyes, “If it’s your brother you are worried about, I can ensure you I will protect you from any backlash you might face.”
If only he knew what kind of backlash your brother had been known to give out. You shook your head, “I know that you and your high lord have imposed your laws about female training, but it is still strictly… discouraged in this camp.”
He looked angry at your words, an expression which faded into pity as he took in your trembling form. “If your brother has a problem with you training under his general, I will gladly speak with him. I’m sure we can come to an agreement.”
“All due respect, general, you won’t be the one facing the brunt of his anger.”
He rolled his shoulders back, “then let me teach you how to defend yourself against him. He won’t hurt you while I am here.”
You hesitate, knowing you truly wanted nothing more than to learn how to fight, how to protect yourself against the males who had threatened you throughout your existence. He sees this and continues, “if you decide you want to take me up on my offer, meet me in the training ring 2 hours before dawn. That way, your brother won’t even know you’re gone, and you will still be able to complete your chores.”
With a respectful dip of your head, you breeze past the war general with the bucket still in your hands.
You don’t meet him in the ring the next day, or the following day. Despite the longing you felt to train, you couldn’t overcome the fear of your brother’s anger. It was in the early morning of the third day, as you stood by the dish basin in your family home and watched the war general train through the window, that you decided you would join him. You had only meant to be distracted for a moment, allowing yourself a glimpse of his routine, but you had been entranced once again. Your brother had caught you staring, anger coating his eyes.
With a hot hand, he grabbed your arm and spun you around, the dish falling from your hand and into the tub. His other hand met your throat, squeezing tightly. “What did I say about watching him train, little sister?”
Your eyes were wide with fear as you struggled to breathe, body frozen in terror. Your brother brought the hand not on your throat to your hip, sliding under your shirt so you could feel the cold metal of a blade against your skin.
You tried to speak, to apologize, but the grasp on your neck was too tight to allow any noise to leave your mouth. The sharp sting on your hip brought tears to your eyes as he carved a long line across your stomach. It wasn’t deep enough to seriously wound you, but you knew there would most likely be a scar.
He smiled wickedly down at you, bringing the bloodied knife to your cheek. He swiped it across your skin before leaning close to your ear, hot disgusting breath hitting your skin. “Now be a good little sister and clean yourself up. Then get back to work.”
The grip on your neck disappeared and you gasped for breath, holding onto the edge of the basin behind you for stability. As you regained your composure enough to grab a nearby rag, you made your decision. No matter what, your villainous brother would find a way to hurt you. The only thing you could do for yourself was learn to fight back.
You had hoped that Cassian would be pleased to see you in the early hours of the morning the next day, but you were instead met with a look of concern.
“What happened to your face?”
You shrugged off his question, “you told me you could teach me how to defend myself, right?”
His mouth morphed into a grimace as he took in your week appearance, the inflamed pink mark across your cheek. After a few moments, he nodded, “I hope you’re ready to work.”
You found that, despite the bruises and soreness that had made their home on your body, you enjoyed Cassian’s training. He pushed you enough to help you grow, but not so far that you would regress into the fear that had consumed your entire body throughout your life. He respected your boundaries, and never asked you to explain when you would show up to train with new cuts along your face or arms.
But any fool could tell he was furious about them. You had made it clear you wouldn’t talk about them and that you didn’t want him interfering, and he was too scared that you would stop coming if he did. Out of anger, or because you would be left in a state so poor you’d be unable to train, you both weren’t sure.
One day, the two of you had gotten distracted, and training had lasted just a bit longer than it normally would. As you were heading off the training mat, you caught a glimpse of your brother’s watchful eyes through the window of your cabin. They held an icy fury, and you knew what was to come as soon as you got home. You thought to ask Cassian to accompany you, but knew that if you didn’t face your brother now, it would only be worse later.
To your surprise, your brother said nothing as you carefully entered the house. You watched him warily, as he didn’t even spare a glance in your direction. You quickly changed into your household clothes before starting quietly on your chores, jumping at the sound of the front door slamming shut as your brother left for the day.
The entire day, you were on edge. Chores had taken you less time than normal due to your anxiety quickening your hands. You were on your way to the market to trade the coins your brother earned as a blacksmith for meats and new gloves for him, as he had requested, when you were stopped by three looming figures.
You recognized them as your brothers friends, males who had come around to your home to get drunk with your brother and make gross, degrading comments towards you as you served them. Then, their eyes had been filled with lust and entitlement. Now, they were filled only with rage.
“Your brother said you’ve been training with that bastard general.” One of the males said.
Another spoke, “weak females like you don’t get to train.” He reached out to grab your shoulder, pushing you to the cold, hard ground.
“If you think you’re strong enough to fight like us males, why don’t we test out your skills?” The third one spoke as fear washed over your body. You pushed yourself up to your hands so you were sitting, looking up at them.
The second male’s foot made contact with your side as he kicked you harshly, sending you back to the ground. Though you had been training with Cassian, he had only been helping you build muscle and endurance, not to fight. Not yet.
Another of the males swung his legs on either side of your waist, pinning you underneath him. His hands wrapped around your throat, cutting your oxygen supply off. You struggled underneath him, trying to bring your knees up to harm him, but another of the males stomped on your ankle before you could.
A splintering pain traveled up your leg at the impact, bones cracking underneath his foot. You tried to cry out in pain, but no noise would come out.
The lack of oxygen was causing your vision to go blurry, hands scratching at the male’s to loosen the grip around your throat. He obliged, but you quickly realized it wasn’t from your pleading. His friend passed him a dagger, which he swiftly brought to your neck.
“C’mon little girl, didn’t your bastard teach you anything?” His voice was filled with disgust and anger, his breath reeking of ale. Your heartbeat was a swift and constant thud in your chest, echoing the fear you felt.
A scream left your lips as he plunged the dagger into your chest, just under your collarbone. You could nearly feel the blade scrape the bone as it entered you. You tried to push him off, but the other males placed their feet on your arms, keeping you locked into place. The male on top of you took his free hand to cover your mouth. “Hush, good girls don’t scream.”
Tears poured from your eyes as he removed the bloodied dagger from your chest before swiftly bringing it back down again, this time into your side. You screamed against his hand, the pain overwhelming you.
He continued his ministrations, plunging the blade into your middle, avoiding your heart and lungs narrowly, but not caring about anything else. You lost track of the pain, mind and body going numb as you let the frozen fear take over you.
At some point, it stopped. You would later vaguely recall a flash of red and the sound of men in pain, but in the moment you could barely remember your own name.
A male kneeled over you, concern in his hazel eyes and long hair brushing against your face. You groaned out of instinct, not pain, when he picked you up, your head lolling to rest on his shoulder as he took off.
“Don’t you dare fall asleep on me,” he said harshly to you over the roaring of the wind in your ears. You vaguely recognized that you were flying, a feeling so instinctual yet so unfamiliar to you, despite the large wings on your back.
The next things you remember happened in flashes. A dark male with bright, violet eyes taking hold of your hand, a castle surrounded by balconies and arches, a soft bed and warm hands spreading magic throughout your body, your bones clicking back into place, and a dark figure who seemed to be more shadow than fae.
It was him you thought of as the same darkness that surrounded him filled your vision and you were overtaken by a dreamless sleep.
#acotar#acotar x reader#acotar imagine#azriel acotar#azriel imagine#azriel x reader#azriel slow burn#azriel series#azriel angst#acotar angst
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THINKING ABOUTTT
caracalla lusting after getas wife, crying because he can‘t have her and finally going to geta to propose having her marry him aswell
at first geta is against it because you‘re HIS property and sharing with his whiny stupid brother makes him angry but eventually he caves in
„but we can take turns“ caracalla whines and cries until geta gives in, the thought kind of entices him 👀
and you‘re absolutely not pleased, caracalla freaks you out but now you have to obey him aswell
TW: kinda of noncon, crazy Caracalla.
“This is a bad idea" is what you don't say, but it shows in your gaze as your eyes meet Geta's, he being a little further away from the bed where you are sitting, making it a little difficult to see him clearly in the partially dark room, only lit by the ambiance outside of the windows. Your eyes now wander towards the brother closest to you, Caracalla, who is standing in front of you, you try to ignore him, fix your head in the same position and keep it that way, your attention only on his detailed robe so close to you.
“She defies me” - Caracalla says to the wind, there is no immediate response, and you can't detect what the mood of his voice could be, neutral, perhaps? There are moments with Caracalla when you can feel all his emotions, he screams, cries, reacts violently and impulsively, and there are times when it seems like there is nothing... Nothing, you haven't felt anything of what might be coming now, what emotion he will show you next, and that scares you. He scares you. And when you feel a strange hand coming towards your face, unfamiliar, you don't think twice about dodging it, your head slightly hesitating back, running away.
You can feel your face sweating from the tension in the room, and you know you've screwed yourself after running from your Emperor's grasp. You hold still, your hands clenching the fabric of your dress, your knuckles white with the intensity of your grip. - "Stay still for him, dear” - You can hear Geta say in the distance, your heart immediately tightens in your chest in a feeling of betrayal, however, you don't seem to be the only one reacting badly to his words.
“Stop bossing her around, you're too bossy and I'm tired of it, and... And I talked to you about it! You said you'd share control over her, so stop trying to talk for me” - You hear Caracalla complain to his brother, his voice still a bit too steady for the stiff way he said them, you can see in your peripheral vision how he clench his own hands into fists as he speaks, and it doesn't help your nervousness one bit. Geta doesn't offer him an answer.
“Take off your clothes” - The older brother says as he turns his attention back to you, he seems to want to take on a commanding tone, but when you listen a little better to the edges of it, you can hear a slight whimper of a sulking child in the background of his words, as if he is begging you to obey him, and that, that is never a good sign with Caracalla.
You hesitate again, not moving a muscle. You feel numb, lost.
“WHY ARE YOU NOT OBEYING ME? WHY ARE YOU PRETENDING NOT TO LISTEN TO ME? I TOLD YOU TO TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES. WHY ARE YOU STILL IN PLACE? ARE YOU STUPID? STUPID, STUPID, STUPID” - There it is, what you hate the most, the screaming and the crying, the way he freaks out, and you are the target of it now, you feel a burning disgust in your body for your husband, you look for him in the room, and when your eyes meet, Caracalla notices, and misunderstands the situation - “Why... Why are you looking at him?? ARE YOU SEEKING AUTHORIZATION FROM HIM? I AM EMPEROR TOO! DO YOU FORGET? DOES EVERYONE FORGET? IS GETA EMPEROR ALONE? HE IS THE ONE EVERYONE LISTENS TO, EVERYONE PLEASES, EVERYONE RESPECTS…” - The older brother screams and screams in your face, and eventually, you can start to hear the strangled sobs in his voice, he's crying now and curling up in himself, you try not to roll your eyes at the crybaby in front of you, and you even think about talking back to him, when you're interrupted.
“Fuck it, just stand still then, stupid” - You hear him say in a harsh tone, and soon after, you feel his rough hand grab your entire face, throwing you back on the bed until your head hits the mattress. He climbs on top of you, and with so much access and advantage over your body, he begins to forcefully undress you, tearing the delicate nightgown of your body, throwing what are now rags to the bedroom floor, you scream and try to hide yourself with your hands, but it does little good when you see the excitement in the Emperor's eyes above you - “You are so beautiful, so beautiful, so beautiful, I'm so happy, brother! She is perfect” - He repeats, like a kid in a candy store, he examines you all over, forcing the hands that previously protected you from his intrusive gaze against the bed, holding you down, you squirm and try to kick him, but his weight on top of you makes your struggle more difficult.
“Make her feel good, brother, soon she will be less wary of you" - Geta says as he leaves the shadows from which he watched the whole scene, approaching the bed to sit on it, you hate the way his words treat you like an animal, how his eyes seem hungrier watching his brother attack you than when it's just the two of you alone, how his hand still dares to try to caress your face affectionately, resting it on top of your head like he always does. You feel like you could vomit right now. He senses it - “Her breasts are sensitive, why don't you try?" - He suggests, licking his lips in anticipation, watching his brother nod.
Caracalla still seems a little dizzy admiring your body, his own trembles with satisfaction just from seeing you, from feeling you so close, your eyes, your mouth, your skin, your smell, everything about you calls out to him, he can feel his body warmer than normal and his eyes fall as if he had never slept in his life, it feels like a dream. He pants through his mouth, seeming to prepare himself, slowly lowering, as if not to scare you, as if he doesn't scare you just by existing, his eyes never stray from yours, nor yours from his, what you think is rebellion on your part, he takes as affection.
At his first contact with your breasts, you feel a weak moan leave your lips, not yet prepared, seeming to forget that you should contain yourself, that you hate him, he leaves kisses down the center of your chest, slowly leading them to your left breast, kisses all over, and then to the right, kisses all over, he seems strangely affectionate compared to the outburst from seconds ago, he takes his tongue out, showing it off quite a bit to your suspicious eyes, and takes it to one of your nips, circling it, testing the waters, and reciprocating positively when you moan even with your lips closed. He closes his eyes as if enjoying a feast, let his tongue travel over you, and licks soon turn into sucking, it doesn't seem enough for him, he needs more, much more, he needs to have your entire breast in his mouth and suck it as if his life depends on it, release it with an audible 'pop' and then, go to the other one. And that he does.
Minutes seem like hours, you moan and moan, and not only you, you hear Caracalla moan as much, seeming to feel more pleasure in sucking your breasts than you in having them sucked, he pants and growls against them, bites them, and makes it seem as if he is not even stopping to breathe, too busy admiring your body as if to him you were God, he can't hold himself back, he has wanted this for so long, you were everything to him, still are, he can't believe he deprived himself of touching you for so long. You can feel him humping pathetically against one of your legs, his erection still under his red robe, he doesn't even care, he cries with pleasure as if he is already inside you, as if just rubbing himself like a dog against your thigh was a blessing, you can hear the cries and sobs again, the little whimpers, but now he seems to be in heaven on Earth.
“Make my brother happy, moan his name, dear” - You hear Geta whisper in your ear just for you alone to hear, something malicious and perverse in his voice, he seems to be entertaining himself watching, you can't see him well where you're lying, you wish you could, you wish you could see if he's touching himself by the image of his brother defiling you, you wish he'd bend down and capture your lips with his, you wish you could suck him off and bring him the satisfaction his brother is feeling at the moment. But the only thing you get are caresses in your hair, on your forehead, like a puppy that has done well.
“Ca- Caracalla…” - You say in a weak moan, uncertain of your own words, even as he begins to make you wet between your legs. You don't feel like yourself when the words leave your mouth, and maybe you've been out of your own body for a long time, you just hadn't realized it. You feel him writhe and moan in gratitude as he hears his name come out of your mouth, something wet smearing your leg. It doesn't take you long to realize that the sticky stuff is coming from Caracalla's robe, he's cumming inside his own clothes, just by humping himself against you. Next, you feel your chest wet, more tears probably, since you can hear him sniffling below you.
You unconsciously rest a hand on Caracalla's head, closing your own eyes.
#idk about this one but i was feeling like exploring more caracallas sick side#anyway#emperor geta x reader#emperor caracalla x reader
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you broke me first (one-shot)
summary: logan comes running to you after yet another disappointment with jean, but he's hurt you for the last time and you can't do this dance with him any longer. pairing: xmen series!logan x fem!reader content warnings: angst, unspoken feelings (logan has his reasons), logan pining for jean, broken friendship, no use of y/n. word count: 1.2k a/n: ok, so forgive me in advanced lol, this is my first time writing xmen series!logan (and idk if i'm the only one, but i do not like the jean x logan ship - i didn't feel any chemistry between them in the movies). anyway, enjoy this! this song came to mind and immediately i thought of this version of logan and it seemed fitting. song: you broke me first by tate mcrae
“She doesn’t love you, Logan,” you tell him once again after he comes straight to your room after Jean had told him that she would never leave Scott for him. You could never understand the feelings he had for Jean, his relationship with her purely physical.
And each time he tried to convince Jean that being with him would make her happier than she was with Scott, he was always left disappointed.
And each time, he always came running to you. The one person who had always been there for him since he had come to the mansion all those years ago.
“You don’t know that,” Logan says, brows furrowed and his usual scowl written on his features.
“Why do you keep going back to her?” you ask quietly, looking down at your hands. “She hurts you every time, Logan.”
“She just doesn’t know what she wants.”
“Logan,” you sigh. “We both know that’s not true.”
“If she knew what she wanted, why do we keep sleeping with each other, then? Hm?”
You feel your heart break at his words. The more time you spent with Logan, the more you realized just how deeply you felt for him. He had become your best friend, and had made you feel welcome in a house full of mutants. Charles had hired you as a teacher despite not having any powers and while you loved your job, you always felt like you didn’t belong and you yearned to be one of them, to be part of a group like this. You couldn’t even be angry though, this was how every mutant had felt in this world. An outsider.
But Logan… Logan had always made you feel like you belonged. He would talk to you about his problems and you would talk to him about yours. He’d be there to hold you whenever you had a bad day, to brush your hair away from your face when you were on the brink of tears. He’d always come to you whenever he couldn’t sleep, when his nightmares would take hold of him because he had admitted one night that you make him feel safe, calm, peaceful.
And he’d always come to you whenever Jean didn’t want him anymore.
And you’d always be there to welcome him with open arms.
“I don’t know, Logan,” you finally answer. “She won’t ever leave Scott… You and I both know this.”
“She just needs to realize–”
“Stop,” you interrupt him. “Please, Logan.”
Logan looks down at you. “What?”
“I’ve always been right here,” you say quietly, teary eyes staring up at him.
“I know,” he sighs. “And I’m lucky–”
“We both know that’s not what I mean,” you interrupt. “You can’t be that dense, Logan.”
He tightens his jaw and you look down at his hands to see them curled into fists. All it takes is one clench and his claws would come out. “We can’t. That can’t ever happen between us.”
“Why?” you ask. “What’s so wrong with me that you can’t see that I would choose you?”
“Nothing’s wrong with you,” he sighs. “We just–” Logan shakes his head. “No, bub.”
“What’s so special about Jean, hm?” you ask, voice raising as tears now slowly trickle down your cheeks. “What does she have that I don’t? Is it her powers? Is it because she’s a mutant?”
“No,” he shakes his head. “I don’t care if you’re not a mutant.”
“Then what?!” Your lower lip quivers and you take a step back when you yell at him. You can feel your entire body shaking, emotions and feelings that you had kept bottled in now coming to the surface. “Then what, Logan?” you repeat.
“I can’t love you.”
“You can’t, or you don’t?”
“Bub,” Logan sighs, hand slowly reaching out for you but you shake your head and step away from him.
“Whenever you needed someone, I have always been there. When you needed to leave for whatever reason, I was always here waiting for you to come back. It’s always been me, Logan. Me.”
“I know…” Logan’s eyes soften at the sight of you and he wants so badly to just pull you into his arms. He would never admit to you the feelings he has for you, would never tell you how much he wishes that things were different. Part of him thinks he loves Jean, knows that she can handle her own if anything were to happen, but you… If you were to ever be in danger because of him, he would never forgive himself. So, he keeps you at a friendly distance, never displaying to the rest of the team just how much you mean to him.
“I can’t do this anymore,” you whisper, voice shaky. “I can’t be the person you keep coming to whenever Jean doesn’t want anything to do with you. You deserve someone who’s going to choose you, Logan,” you stare up at him, eyes glistening with tears. “You deserve someone who’s not going to hurt you.”
Logan’s jaw tightens. “What do you mean you can’t do this anymore?”
“I fucking love you, Logan!” you bite your lower lip, your own hands clenching into fists in hopes that the action would ground you, would alleviate some of the frustration that you’re feeling. “I fucking love you and I can no longer just sit around and act like I don’t.”
“Sweetheart,” his voice cracks and suddenly, he realizes that losing you hurts far more than the disappointment he continues to feel with Jean. “Don’t–”
“You break my heart every fucking time you come to me about Jean,” you admit. “And I can’t do it anymore. I can’t do this anymore,” you repeat.
“Baby,” Logan whispers.
“I’m going to tell Charles that I’ve got a family emergency and that I will need to leave immediately,” you tell Logan, moving around him to gather your duffle bag and setting it on your bed. “I’m sure he’ll know the real reason why I’m leaving, but–”
Logan reaches out for you, his hand a gentle touch against your wrist. “Stop, please…”
You pull your hand away from his grasp and look up at him, “Be honest with me and tell me that you don’t see anything here… That you don’t feel something for me.”
Logan stares into your eyes and he tightens his jaw, hand reaching up to gently brush a tear away from your cheek. “I can’t,” he whispers. “I need you to understand that I can’t, baby.”
You nod and step away from him. “I won’t ever be enough, will I?”
“That’s not true–”
“Just get out, Logan. Please.”
“I don’t want to lose you. I can’t lose you. You’re breaking me–”
“You broke me first, Logan,” you interject and turn back around to toss your clothes carelessly into your bag, tears strolling down your cheeks. You can still feel Logan’s presence, can hear him huffing lowly under his breath.
When your clothes are in your bag, you toss it over your shoulder and turn around to see him standing near your door. You walk over to him and reach for the door handle, gripping it tightly as you look up at him once more. For one last time.
“Don’t go, please,” he whispers.
“I wish you nothing but the best, Logan,” you reply. “And I hope one day you realize that you deserve so much more than what Jean is giving you. You deserve to be happy, to be loved, to be chosen.”
“Baby–”
Slowly, you turn the handle and open the door, tearing your gaze away from him. “Goodbye, Logan.”
#hugh jackman#hugh jackman character#logan howlett#logan howlett fanfiction#logan howlett fanfic#logan howlett angst#xmen#xmen fanfiction#xmen fanfic#wolverine#wolverine fanfiction#wolverine fanfic#xmen series!logan#story: you broke me first
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I've been thinking in a Cumplane friendship idea.--
You see, everyone seems to believe SQQ and SQH can't stand each other. Quite the opposite, really. When it's only the two of them they don't feel the need to keep up the pretence. It's so easy to relax, to put the mask aside.
They aren't peak lords nor cultivators. They're just two dudes in their mid tweenties trying to survive in this forsaken world.
SY knows he might not be the kindest nor the most loving of friends, (he spent so many years alone in a cold, hospital room, he's not good at socializing) but he does care for Airplane. A lot. He will never say it out loud because it's embarrasing but that stupid author is his best friend.
So, that's why when the news of Qinghua's disappearance finally reach him (two weeks, it took two full weeks before someone decided to tell him--- )they absolutely destroys him.
He seems calm at fisrt. Not truly procesing the news. LBG makes a few comments about something Mobei told him (you fucking knew and didn't tell me, how dare you, husband?! )
Gone, SQH? No, that's dumb. He couldn't be gone. He's a peak lord, he has responsabilities, a bunch of little ones to teach. He even takes care of the north. And most importantly why would he leave Mobei? It makes no sense, not fucking sense.
SQH wouldn't leave like that. He... he wouldn't leave SY behind.
He can feel sob building up in his throat. That... stupid, idiot--HACK AUTHOR!
His crying fit is so strong and sudden that sends LBG and his whole demon staff into a panic.
"Shizun?!" He says looking for visible injuries-
"Don't touch me!" He screams and LBG looks at him with hurt.
"Husband? Have... have this disciple done something wrong?"
SQQ just turns and walks to his chambers ordering LBG not to follow him. His husband is left feeling distressed and cries for very different reasons.
Later that night they talk. SQQ feeling tired and sad finally calls for his husband to comfort him. He explains to him why he is angry at him and LBG apologizes.
"This one thought you hated Shang-shibo and that Shizun wouldn't care about his dissapereance." He says in a small, careful voice. "Mobei jun came to the palace days ago to beg for help in his search... "
"You turned him away... " SY says, sounding very tired.
"Yes. But this husband will make it right, Shizun. I will find your friend for you, promise."
SY sighs and hugs his husband, hiding his face in his chest.
..
Idk 'm all over the place but the idea is that the system is glitching and took SQH and is kind of keeping him hostage? Like, in between worlds. Not the mordern universe, not PIDW.
I imagine LBG having a very hard time accepting his shizun worries and loves others and not just him (??? why??? I'm more than enough you need NO ONE else shizun). He's too possesive and would like very much just to lock his shizun away, but that would break him and he never wants to see him cry like that ever again. Even if that means he has to share his attention.
MBJ is very broken in this one fiding himself lost without SQH. they had just finally stablished their relationship so he's between angry and scared. Also his trust and loyalty to LBG has taken a blown since he refused to help him find his lover. Didn't he help LBG when everyone turned his back on him as he clinged to his dead shizun's body?
While they work together (before they can even figure out where sqh is) LBG slowly realizes he might have fucked up a bit and ??? misses Mobei ??? are they friends???!!
SY tries his fucking best to keep it together. Really, he loves Binghe but that man can be so dense.
They find where SQH is being kept. The place is like a limbo. Cold, and vast where no time passes. In order to get him back LBG, MBJ and SQQ work together to reforge Xin Mo and travel there. There's a cool fighting montage, tears, hugs and everyone is happy at the end
Yeah that's all i got so far. I'll be going back to work now--
#mobei jun#shang qinghua#svsss#svsss mobei jun#svsss shang qinghua#svsss luo binghe#mxtx svsss#shen yuan#svsss shen qingqiu#svsss shen yuan#bingqiu#moshang#missing qinghua au#king writes#cumplane friendship
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Feeling Overwhelmed? You're Not Alone. Let's Talk About It..
I know we all go through it. You’re balancing school, friends, family, and everything else, and suddenly, it feels like you're carrying the weight of the world. Lately, I've been feeling burned out, overwhelmed, and like everything is piling up at once. With school stress, exams, and the constant pressure to keep up, I sometimes feel like I can’t breathe. It's exhausting, and I'm sure some of you feel the same.
It’s so easy to get stuck in the cycle of trying to do everything perfectly. Every time you think you’ve got it under control, something else comes at you, and you’re back to square one and YES THIS IS ANNOYING!!!. It's like there’s a never-ending list of things to do, and no matter how hard you work, you never seem to catch a break.
And the worst part? The pressure from others. Whether it's friends, classmates, or even family, there's always someone asking you for help. Sometimes I feel like I’m the go-to person for everything—assignments, questions, last-minute requests. And don’t get me wrong, I want to be helpful, but it can get draining. Especially when you're trying to hold it together and just need a little space for yourself
For example:Today I couldn’t catch a break already stressed about exams, and in desperate need of rest. Just as I sat down to breathe, the calls and messages started.
One of my classmates began spamming me with messages, asking about a history and geography exam date that we ALL already knew. Then, another classmate began asking for English assignment answers. She wouldn’t stop. She kept sending, “Hi, hi, hi, hi…” over and over until I caved and responded.When I finally sent her the answers, her response? “Ahh, what would I do without you? You’re a lifesaver!” And while I know she meant it kindly, it felt so heavy I feel guilty. What about MY life? What about my peace?
In that moment, I realized how much I was giving to others and how little I was leaving for myself. I was pouring all my energy into helping everyone else while I was running on empty
And plus I’ve been in those moments when you’ve studied hard for an exam, thought you’re finally catching up, and then suddenly—a change happens. A test gets rescheduled, an assignment gets pushed to the last minute, and it feels like everything you worked for was just... wasted. I get it. And it’s okay to feel frustrated and angry about it. You’re allowed to feel this way. It doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human.
But here’s something I’ve been reminding myself lately: I am not responsible for everyone else's stress. It’s okay to say no, it’s okay to take a break, and it’s okay to not always have everything figured out. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s necessary.
Here 5 Tips That Are Helping Me Cope with Stress and Burnout
1. Set Boundaries and Protect Your Energy: I’ve learned that it’s okay to say no. If someone’s asking for help, and you’re already feeling stretched thin, it’s okay to tell them, “I can’t right now.” You can’t pour from an empty cup, and you deserve your time and energy as much as anyone else does.
2. Don’t Overload Yourself—Take It One Step at a Time: Break your tasks into smaller, more manageable chunks. Don’t try to do everything at once—focus on one thing at a time. It makes the workload feel less daunting and more achievable. One task, one hour at a time.
3. Rest is Not a Luxury, It’s a Necessity: Sometimes we push ourselves too hard because we think we’ll get behind if we take a break. But if you don’t rest, you’ll burn out. Give yourself permission to step away, even for just 10 minutes. Watch a comforting youTube video, take a walk, or close your eyes. A little time for yourself can give you the energy to come back even stronger.
4. Talk About Your Feelings—Don't Bottle It Up: If you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t keep it inside. Talk to someone, whether it’s a friendu trust family member, or even just writing in a journal like I do ..Putting your feelings into words can make a huge difference. It clears your mind and helps you see things from a new perspective.
5. Make Time for Self-Care: It’s easy to forget to take care of yourself when everything is going wrong. But self-care isn’t just about face masks and bubble baths (although that helps!). It’s about doing things that recharge you—reading, listening to music, or even just doing nothing. Find what makes you feel lighter and make time for it.
Let’s Take the Pressure Off Ourselves.
I know the world often tells us we have to be constantly productive, constantly moving forward. But the truth is, you don’t have to hustle all the time. It’s okay to slow down, take a breather, and focus on your well-being. The world will still be there when you're ready to take the next step. You are not a machine pookie. You are human, and you deserve peace.We’re not alone in this, even though it sometimes feels like we are. Everyone’s going through something, and sometimes just knowing that you’re not alone in your struggles can make a huge difference.Remember, it’s okay to not have it all together. It’s okay to be tired, to feel burnt out, to not always know what’s next. Life is hard, but you’re still here, still fighting, and that’s something to be proud of. I'm so proud of you
© bloomzone
#bloomivation#bloomdiary#becoming that girl#glow up#wonyoungism#wonyoung#dream life#it girl#creator of my reality#divine feminine#it girl affirmations#it girl energy#stay focused#study blog#study motivation#self confidence#self growth#self love#self development#self improvement#self healing#to do list#alone but not lonely#happiness#boundaries#get motivated#girl blogging
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luffy saved sanji, nami and the entire crew in a way. everyone knows this. everyone talks about this. but what people don't talk about enough is this: luffy saved zoro too.
now here's the thing right. zoro might not have had any ongoing struggles that were keeping him up at night. no one might've harmed him physically or mentally for a long time. the last wound of his that never closed up right is kuina and that happened a decade ago. in many ways, he's fine. he is. is he?
the thing about zoro is that before luffy, he has been running on spite. on anger and determination and sheer fucking will. and i must say, spite is an excellent motivator. but it's also really fucking tiring. it's hard to make it stay because ultimately, you run out of fuel. your body was never made to house that much anger. fire burns bright, but it burns. and zoro has been burning for a long time.
this is how he keeps the fire going. this is how he stays spiteful, angry, hurt. he digs into the wound kuina left at nights he finds himself sagging under the weight of the responsibility he carries. he pushes his fingers into the flesh (you promised kuina) and twists (you told her you'll become the world's greatest swordsman) and he bleeds.
(you promised.)
enter: luffy.
I'm going to be the king of pirates, he had announced and zoro had felt a pang of longing because that was his dream. luffy wasn't carrying a life someone else couldn't live with him. he was not running on all things red and furious. he beams, bright and sunny and so incredibly real that zoro wants to avert his eyes and says, do you want to fight them with me or do you want to die here?
of course he joins his damn crew.
here's the thing right. luffy saved him not from his enemies, not from his own mind. he saves him like this: rubber arm wrapped around his waist and flinging him around. sheepish laughter that follows a shamelessly unapologetic sorry, zoro. he saves him like this: he lets him walk into the jaws of death when he challenges mihawk. he doesn't stop him. because he will never stand between him and his dream. because he is so certain he will get back up. because he is so certain of his strength, of his tenacity, of him.
the first thing zoro says after kuina defeats him for the last time is, kill me. because he has tried so hard and it still wasn't enough. it would be a honourable way to go- to die trying to achieve your dream. but after mihawk cuts him up, he doesn't say, kill me. he cries. he cries and he says, i will never lose again. is that okay with you, king of the pirates?
he makes an other vow, this time it's to a boy he barely knows. and he knows he will keep it, because he is waiting for him. he thought zoro would come back. and so he would.
luffy saved zoro by straightening the fingers that have been clenched into fists for a long time. he tells him he will achieve his dream. he tells him he's the best and he says it like it's just another fact, another truth of the universe. luffy saves zoro by showing him that it's so much more fun to chase something because you love it, see?
now, wado doesn't feel like chains weighing him down. it just feels like the comfort of an old friend. now, he burns brighter than ever but not with spite. his fire is warm, now, just like his captain. he has his nakama to protect. he has a love that waits for him outside of this dream that seems larger than life.
luffy saves zoro by holding his hand and dragging him out to the sea with that wild laugh of his, saying, look! isn't this so much better?
and it is. it is.
#zolu.... save me zolu save me#romantic platonic whatever it doesn't matter they're best friends and soulmates#monkey d luffy#roronoa zoro#one piece zoro#luffy one piece#one piece#zolu#zolu meta#vi talks
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Fangs of Fortune (ep. 06 - ep. 07)
Uh, not Li Lun, out of all people, making everyone finally question why Zhu Yan actually killed Yichen's brother and all those people years ago. We know he lost control over his malicious energy, but why didn't anyone ask him why it happened? Come on, people, you seem to be so smart))
Well, Wen Xiao seems to be accepting enough to not care about what our gorgeous Demon Lord has done in the past, which is quite refreshing. Ambiguous, morally grey characters need more unconditional love (especially when they're, uh, 34,000 years old? XD). But he doesn't even seem to be so 'grey' at this point - he's doing too many good things right now.
The whole thing with being a 'vessel for malicious energy' is quite intriguing. Was he born like that? Can he actually stop 'the cycle of rebirth'? Why did he 'lose control' after so many years of cultivation? I'm also trying to figure out the timeline - the killings must have happened after he dropped Wen Xiao off at what seemed to be the gates to the demon-hunting bureau. But she wasn't staying there when that stuff happened? Did his demonic self come back there just to wreak havoc or for some other reason? Was Li Lun involved? Mmmm, the plot is deliciously mysterious, I will have to wait to get those answers.
Also, I can't even be angry with Li Lun at this point, although he's playing the bad guy now - the poor baby was so visibly hurt when Zhu Yan called him a scumbag. And that painful look he had when our Demon Lord thought something along the lines 'screw you, I know how to wake this boy up from his nightmare' and pierced himself with Yichen's sword (which, uh, seems to be quite a recurring motif and the symbolism of it isn't escaping me, nope XD). In the world of jianghu, the next best thing you can do to show you CARE apart from cutting sleeves is to stab (or get stabbed by) the person you care about. Or get stabbed FOR the person you care about.
I also love how effortlessly Yichen is third-wheeling without creating a feeling that he's actually third-wheeling XD Wen Xiao is obviously biased towards Zhu Yan, now even more so that she knows he IS that Great Demon who accompanied her and the Bai Ze Goddess all those years ago. I would totally trust him, too, if I were her. I also love the messed-up dynamic of a former caretaker/child who's grown up because now Zhu Yan definitely doesn't give us those parental vibes, he's oozing sensuality wherever he goes (and him pretending to be all hurt so she stays with him, ahah, that whole sequence was cute and hilarious). And Zhu Yan saying something along the lines that they now get to 'meet all over again' - was it to build a new relationship with her from scratch? M-hmm, yummy, utterly delicious :D
And you can see how Yichen kinda sorta admits defeat in the way Wen Xiao no longer needs his protection against the 'big bad demon' (the man is using his big bad demonic energy to push her swing, for Christ's sake XD), but still can't let the other man go so easily because of REASONS and that 'you'll have to pay for your sins either way' thing still going on between them. Zhu Yan does know what buttons to push when it comes to Yichen, but the feeling seems to be quite mutual (they're cute together and their interactions are so yummy 😍). That scene at the temple is EVERYTHING. And then at Zhu Yan's mansion with the swing. Is he swinging both ways? Ahah XD For a 34,000-year-old being I don't see how that could be an issue)))
Okay, cutting and piercing still seem to be the show's love language and I APPROVE (never had a kink like that, but there's a first thing for everything, I guess XD). The undertones just make it all so yum))
The introduction of the new character, Yinglei, was hilarious))) We also find out that the Wilderness is crumbling down, which makes the whole Bai Ze token thing even more important.
/and I've finally reached the picture limit in one tumblr post, ahah XD/
#Fangs of fortune#god this show just keeps on delivering#this just might be my most favorite role of Hou Minghao as of today#zhu yan#zhuo yichen#wen xiao#li lun#zhao yuanzhou#yinglei#cdrama#cdrama review#hou minghao#neo hou
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Please
“Stop it, Villain!” Hero yelled as they aimed their gun. “Step away from the machine,” they command while the criminal steps back reluctantly. Something seems off about them today. Something they can’t really place. A thing that hadn't been there in all those years that they knew each other, fought each other and even started to care a bit for each other.
Hero moves to put their gun away and grab their handcuffs instead but Villain’s fist puts a stop to that. Hero feels the punch connecting to their jaw, sending them flying across the room. Their head starts to spin as they hit the concrete floor. They can barely move away in time for Villain's next attack.
“Villain, hold on…” Hero tries but the only response they get is another blow to their stomach. They have gone manic, Hero realises. They quickly kick the Villain's leg. Immediately, the criminal flies to the ground. Hero doesn't waste a second and tries to hold Villain down.
After a struggle that seemed to go on forever, they can finally hold Villain down. Hero takes a look at their nemesis. This isn't how they usually fought. Calculated, precise and fast attacks, that's what they were used to. This blind…rage? was something entirely new. Villain looked angry, seething and… was crying.
“Vil…” Hero starts slow. They can't help but feel sorry for their nemesis. A person they cared for, after all they had been through together. Although they'd never admit that out loud, they're enemies.
Villains shakes their head. “Please…” they beg, looking at Hero with tear filled eyes. “Please what, Vil?” Hero replies. Villain looked so vulnerable. What happened? The Villain they knew would rather die than let anyone see them like this. “Let me do this. I need to. Please, I need to help them…”
Hero's head spun in confusion. “Who do you need to help? What's going on?” Villain sobbed heavily. “They are going to kill them. They're going to hurt those kids.” Hero held Villain’s jaw. “Who Vil?” The criminal shook their head and started hyperventilating. Hero immediately moved to comfort their nemesis. In all those years they had never seen them like this. Not only did it concern Hero, it also scared them. Villain had never been scared before…
And although Hero wanted to know who it was at first, they wished they never did. Villain's next word made their entire world crash.
“Superhero,”
Hi! I'm back (for now, who knows for how long) but I've found the time and energy to wrote again. Hope you enjoyed!
As always, my asks are open for suggestions or just weird thoughts and fun facts, whatever comes to mind :)
#villain x hero#snippet#hero x villain#heroes and villains#my writing#writing#writeblr#writer#writers on tumblr#writerscommunity
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Your view pisses me off We all have free will so we can still change a lot I doubt its all fated…
well tell that to the people in palestine or sudan or colonies, to the mother of my friend who had to stay in her abusive relationship until she died because of her daughter, to the mother who lost her unborn child, to the man who lost his leg while hiking, to the little girl who was raped, to my little brother whose eye caught the worst infection when he was three, to the people who are blind or deaf or mentally unstable, to the little girls who grow up with abusive mothers, to that girl in 8th class who is always overshadowed by her classmates despite being talented, to—
this is part of why i never want to see people who don't understand hindu religion or are not spiritual to enter astrology; free will exists, but we never know where. maybe i am fated to have the best husband but the worst in-laws. do you know what will happen? even the criminal that marries me will turn a good man, and even if they belong to a royal family, their family will turn against me for some reason or the other.
there is just karma, which we all must do. but the result of all things is fated, fated, and fated. those of us who face adversity and still rise above it become kings, princes or the privileged in their next life. every person who is blessed in any manner, worked in their past life to achieve it so they have it now. sorry to break your sorry little bubble, but life's not like that.
let's say i kick a puppy today. then, someday, some ten years later, when i get splashed with dirty water while going for an important job interview, i will go 'why me?!' but yes, me. yes, i did something to deserve it, and now i am getting it. few things in life are not result of our own actions in the past, convincing yourself otherwise is futile. and even if, let's say, the universe seems to hate you, then if you keep your head down and take it and learn to rise above it, then you'll be rewarded for it in the future.
astrology, numerology, tarot etc are the map to our lives. detouring is possible, yes, but the thing is that our paths are decided based on what we were in the past, what we are to face in this life and how we are most likely to react to it. rarely do people react differently, and so most people live the lives that was written for them in the stars.
free will exists merely in how we react to adversity in life, not in what sort of adversity we are to face. your 'free will' can't stop death, accidents, bad relationships, back-stabbing people, bad bosses, misfortunes or anything else. your free will exists only in whether you accept death as the truth of life or as something to be mourned indefinitely over. your free will exists only in whether you think of life as something to live or as something to utilize to become better.
your free will exists only in your thoughts and mindsets. and when the mindset changes, the life does too! ❤
i can't even be angry here, i'm just pitying you right now. believing whatever trash is thrown around everywhere, trying to convince yourself that misery or sadness is not a result of one's own actions. the day you realise the truth, you'll find this entire thing a propaganda, too.
#vedic astrology#astrology#astro community#astrology observations#answered#astrology notes#astrology blog#astro observations#astro notes#astrology readings
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My Little Animal: A Hello Neighbor Fanfic
By JJ
Summary: Mr. Murtaugh catches Nicky out late at night and escorts him back home.
(P.S., for @ghostly-writers !)
Murtaugh quickly took off his headband and threw it into the passenger seat of his car.
"What a day.", he mumbled to himself.
He started the car and began to drive down the road.
Half an hour or so had passed, and when he finally got to his street, he was about to turn the corner. But then he saw a familiar silhouette behind one of the trees in his rear view mirror.
He adjusted the mirror a bit, and he caught a glimpse of who it was.
Nicky.
One of his students. And...well...his patient.
Murtaugh slowly drove to the curb in front of one of the trees, and he saw Nicky crouched down behind one of the bushes, holding some kind of phone walkie talkie thing.
He got out of his car and slowly tip toed to Nicky, making sure he couldn't hear him or see him. As he was sneaking over to him, he heard a few things he said.
"Trinity, I've been waiting for half an hour. I don't see him.", said Nicky. He yawned, "No, I'm not tired. I'll wait out here all night if I have to."
"Nicholas?"
Nicky jumped up and nearly dropped the phone he held, and he turned around to see his science teacher. He looked back at his walkie talkie.
"I'm good.", he said, "Everything's fine, nothing's wrong. Just trying to -"
"Nicky, what are you doing here?"
"I'll call you back."
Then he set down the phone and looked back up at Mr. Murtaugh.
"Nicky, answer me.", said his science teacher. Nicky looked down at his shoes, "Me and my friends were just...out. Nothing much."
Murtaugh gently pressed the bridge of his nose, "Nicholas, I thought we agreed that you would go straight home after school.", he said. "You remember our previous sessions."
"And you remember trying to poison me."
Mr. Murtaugh's eyes widened when he said that.
"Yeah, after that afternoon, all those sessions went out the window. Don't try to act so innocent after what you did.", he said.
Nicky picked up his phone and was about to walk away, but then he felt one of Murtaugh's hands grab his arm.
"Nicholas, you shouldn't be around these woods. Ever. Especially at this time at night.", he scolded. "You never know what's lurking around in the darkness of these places."
Nicky snatched his arm away, "And just who do you think you are to tell me what I can and can't do? Fuck off, creep."
Murtaugh tried not to get angry, but this boy was really testing his patience. Once again, he grabbed his arm and pulled him to his car.
"I'm taking you home right now.", he said sternly.
Nicky tried to break free from his grasp once again, but Murtaugh's grip kept tightening with each struggle.
"Let go of me!", Nicky kept screaming, but his science teacher didn't let go.
He went to his trunk and took out a long pile of rope, then he held Nicky down on the ground and bound up his wrists and ankles.
After that, he put him in the back seat and got into his car. He started the car again and adjusted the rear view mirror to look at Nicky.
"I grew up on a farm with my family, Nicky. I had four siblings, two brothers and two sisters. My dearest father used to hunt and he taught me how to restrain animals that would get too fussy.", he said to the boy.
"I'm not an animal!", Nicky yelled at him.
Murtaugh just ignored him and kept driving, ignoring that Nicky kept trying to get out of his tightly bound ropes and kept screaming at him to let him go.
After a while, Nicky seemed to have calmed down. He stopped struggling and screaming, and now he was just laying down in the backseat of the car.
"Did you do this to every kid you found out at night?", he asked.
Murtaugh shook his head, "No, dear. You're the only one I've had to do this to.", he said.
A moment of silence passed by.
"Now, what were you doing in the woods in the first place?", he asked.
"But I told you in the -"
"The truth, Nicholas. I'd like the truth, dear."
Nicky looked down at his wrists, feeling ashamed. "We were investigating the cult.", he said.
Murtaugh felt his blood run cold, and he clutched onto the steering wheel. "Cult?", he asked.
"The Forest Protectors, the people I've told you about our last meeting.", said Nicky. "Me and my friends thought there was only one Crowface, but apparently, there's more. But unlike the original Crowface, these guys have white beaks and -"
"Nicholas."
Nicky stopped talking.
The science teacher took a deep breath.
"Nicky, I know what I did.", he started, "And I really regret it now, and I promise I'm not trying to kill you like those birds are. I genuinely care about you, dear. So that's why I'm taking you home."
After a while, they pulled up in front of Nicky's house. The lights were all off, so either no one was home, or everyone was asleep.
Murtaugh went to the backseat and untied Nicky's wrists and ankles. Nicky gently rubbed his wrists as he got out of the car, worried that he might've gotten a little rope burn with how much he's been struggling to get out.
"You go to your room and get some rest.", said his science teacher, "I won't say a word about this to your parents about tonight, but I don't want to see you outside past midnight ever again."
Nicky rolled his eyes, but he nodded and walked to his backyard.
Murtaugh got back into his car and drove off, resisting the urge to bang his head on the steering wheel.
"What the hell is wrong with me?!", he screamed, "I can't keep risking my life for that boy! He...he..."
He slowly calmed down and lessened his grip on the steering wheel.
"He's just a child, and he doesn't know anything about this town despite being here for over a year.", he told himself. "The boy will get himself killed if an eye isn't kept on him. I must make sure he stays safe."
Thankfully, he was thinking these things, because he was scared that his master might hear him.
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"Bonnie I—" You... you fail miserably at not sounding angry. You try to shift your tone, you tried so, so very hard to and maybe they won't believe you, and maybe they will hate you... they already hate you, so maybe they'll hate you more. Maybe you'll upset them, you don't think you really get angry—noticeably angry, anyway. Will that scare them? They're already scared too, aren't they? They're scared of a lot more harrowing things than a typical kid should be (and part of that is your fault, isn't it?)
So you make a promise. Not that you've been any good at keeping those in their eyes. But you don't really care if it makes a difference. You have to draw a line somewhere. They have to know. You speak, sternly, instantly, with every ounce of your body taking offense to their outcry.
"I would never leave you." Not once, not ever!!! Never, never, never!!!!!! But, stars, Bonnie thinks you would though, don't they? Oh, it makes you sick. It's a losing game, your every action misunderstood, it's hard not to bow to your frustrations. But this is one thing you refuse to leave misconstrued.
Above all else, you've never once wanted to leave your friends. To stay with them, that's what you want, right? Of course. Absolutely. Forever, if you were greedy enough to admit to it. That's one thing you've always been sure of. You'd never leave them. And you know you're doing an awful job at that, and that the Universe seems to have placed you in a horrendous conundrum that puts that truth into question. But now Bonnie is here, and you can honor that. Prove it. Whatever you have to do.
But it's so hard to say that, isn't it? To put it into words. How desperately you want to, and have, and will stay with them. It's... it's embarrassing, isn't it? Kind of? You're not ashamed of it, but to admit to it feels like a weakness. You're fine on your own, you've been fine on your own, you think. But the truth reveals itself to you so easily, it warms you to your core... being with them, with Bonnie and the others, it's the happiest you've ever felt, you think. You've said it before, so why is it so hard to say now, when it's needed, when the timing is finally right?!?
It may not be the right words, what comes out of your mouth next. Those words might never leave the confines of your mind. Whether it be embarrassment or fear or weakness that locks them away, you don't know. But you can say something, reassurance, not that you have been any inch of that right now... but, please, you think, let it be good enough this time.
"I'm... staying here." You didn't think you'd have to argue your agency, but you will if you must, "I'm not going anywhere. Just... right here..." You clasp your desperate, clammy hands together and set them firmly in your lap. You don't know what to do with the rest of yourself, being bereft the weight of your cloak just makes you feel more anxious about your every move given the fact you can no longer hide away.
Hesitance takes over. You... you're not going to leave. You know that. You will stay. No matter what. You're not budging on that much. But, when you look over at Bonnie, you find yourself compelled to add a small, desperate plea...
"...If you'd let me."
Their mind is a contradiction. They're angry at Frin. They want him to protect them again. They don't want to get them hurt. They're so mad. They're scared, they're confused. Their mind is going in circles, spinning out of control. But they don't know what to do. The only thing they can think to keep doing is to keep clutching onto Siffrin's cloak.
That's why is comes as a surprise when suddenly there's a different weight to it. Their eyes were closed at this point, too full of tears to really see anything anyway. But suddenly the cloak was no longer weightless, lifted by something. Now it was being lifted by them. Bonnie sniffles and really takes in the situation.
Siffrin had taken off the cloak. When was the last time that Bonnie saw them without it, aside from when they were going to bed? They wore it everywhere. It and their dumb hat was how Bonnie could easily find them in a crowd. He never took it off. But, he took it off now, so that must mean something.
They make a connection, and it's not pleasant. Frin was planning to leave them. It scared them, the reality that their friend, their family, was just going to leave because they couldn't handle them anymore. Bonnie knows they aren't a good kid. They've always been disobedient and loud and full of anger. They tried their best to not be a burden during their journey though. That way that group wouldn't leave them behind at some inn. But now they've shown that they're a big burden and Siffrin isn't going to put up with him. Because they're a bad kid. Because Siffrin doesn't love them enough to put up with them.
They want Nille. They wish she was here. They always do, but the feeling is so much strong right now. They pull the discarded cloak close to them, hiccupping between sobs. Nille would never leave them. She always puts up with them, even when they're always. And they thought that Frin would too. They thought wrong.
"If you hate me so much then, just go! I hate you Frin! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you! Leave me alone! I never want to see you again." Please, don't leave them. They're so scared, please don't leave them.
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growth is knowing he sees me as the villain in his story even though i did all that he asked of me, and still allowed him to end it between us peacefully
#i've done a LOT of self reflection the past week#it still hurts like a motherfucker#and maybe i was a little bitter with how i was being treated#but i got tired of it being one sided#you can't not communicate and then get angry when 'everything is about me' because i was willing to let u know how i was feeling.#i was ready to move on. you were hung up over feelings that had already left the building#convinced yourself i was being untruthful when i gave you an explanation#the phone works both ways. it was a month before you decided to finally reach out#then two days later after i thought we had cleared it up#and was ready to try and mend the friendship#you dropped the bomb on me with no warning#i'm not a mind reader and im sorry that you thought i wasn't being truthful.#and i'm sorry that i'd hurt you in the past#but it's as you said. we both had to give it our all and i don't think you were willing.#i'm not angry because i knew i was outgrowing the friendship.#i'm angry that you never seemed to know me at all.#i defended you behind closed doors. i continued to call you my friend. despite the hurt and the upset. i'm sorry healing was taking#longer on my end
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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idk man I just think of all the franchises you could try to make the Next Big Thing by creating a bunch of new shows and movies, maybe don't pick the one with the notoriously nitpicky obsessed with canon fandom ?? if you don't plan on applying any sort of consistency to the world, characters, alien cultures, entire ethical and moral framework of the universe, etc etc ????
#I'm reluctant to tag this as star trek and get a bunch of angry folks coming at me#though also lbr SW isn't looking too crash hot these days either for the same reasons#but yes this is about that snw trailer#and the section 31 trailer#and all of the new Kurtzman Trek era lbr#like if you like the new stuff then you do you bestie#I've been enjoying Prodigy myself!!!#but I've bounced off every other show pretty hard after each first season#because the simultaneous disregard of FUNDAMENTAL aspects of the universe / established characters and lore#while also religiously adhering to SOME of the established canon (mostly the newly established stuff)#has been driving me up the wall#hell even Prodigy has been hard now they've set it up to lead into Picard#like no thanks I don't accept any version of events where Bev never tells Jean Luc about their son and goes to raise him alone#like they make all the stupidest shit canon and adhere to it#while also making say being a Vulcan a matter of DNA rather than cultural upbringing#nevermind literally half a dozen other shows which show that's NOT how that works#I am genuinely curious how many folks like me have bounced off the new stuff never to return lol#(though okay I do keep up with trailers and sometimes reviews to see if it sounds worth coming back for which it never does)#or only watched bits and pieces#and are meanwhile enjoying their eighth or ninth or twenty second rewatch of TOS/TNG/DS9/VOY/ENT#like do they really have the numbers showing up to even watch this new stuff???#lower decks was the most popular it seemed and that's ending#but I can't help but think that if they'd stuck to the quality storytelling and a more or less coherent established universe#that were ... you know ... the defining aspects of the franchise ....#that they might have actually succeeded at finding a new audience looking for prestige science fiction television
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!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#A great episode tbh especially given the low budget. I feel like they really did their very best#And even though what I'm going to say next is probably going to be all critic - because I nitpick things and that's what I always end up–#talking about - I still want to underline that it was a very solid and enjoyable episode!!!#Alright the ss/kk was so 💞💞💞 every scene I had to rewatch twice or thrice akhscbashfb they're so cute!!!#Except for the riding scene tho. That scene gives me massive second hand embarrassment every time I just wish it will end as fast as–#possible pffttt. Mmmmhhh... The drawings weren't even too bad all accounted. My main complain is about the quicksand scene...#I feel like that one should be a slow quiet emotional scene. I never licked the choice of using the song as background soundtrack :/#I feel like it ruins the mood of the scene (it was still good though)#I also... Generally don't like the direction they seem to go for with Akutagawa's character in the anime‚ he seems quite a bit flatter–#compared to how he is in the manga. He can't be angry and evil ALL the time you need to show that softness get through from time to time.#If not what even is the point of his character. Yet in the anime he's angry (and not distraught) when he loses the mine craft and he's–#angry when he's questioning Atsushi about his motifs and he's angry when he's bragging about Atsushi's abilities to Goncharov and he's–#angry when he makes the promise with Atsushi at the end of the episode and eventually he'll be just as angry even when telling Atsushi–#to run away as he's sacrificing his life for him. It is pretty flat at the end of the day.#If I can say something about K/ensho Ono without being killed I think they do contribute to making him feel angry all the time.#But that said it's all probably poor directing choices (or simply choices I don't agree with).#Also‚ about cuts. Usually I try to be lenient about it– I understand it's hard to fit in everything and b/sd already does a very–#good job by adapting the manga almost panel-by panel. It's just that... You skip Akutagawa showing compassion for Atsushi after the–#orphanage director died. You skip Atsushi sharing the same compassion when Akutagawa loses his targed in the mines chase. You skip the–#“Nothing special about that. // I suppose he's far crueler than my own mentor.” line. And sure each of them may be negligible by their own#But together they wave a consistent web of relationship between the two characters you know? And it's a loss to omit them all#Well no mind. Again it was still a great episode overall!!!!#I think the colors in the mines could have been prettier in the mines but we can't have it all#Off to season 4!!! Omg I can't believe we got this far :DDD#random rambles#FINALLY was able to catch up in time for the season 3 finale!!!!!!
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