#i'm actually so annoying i cannot stand myself

[newwavesylviaplath]

pov you're beside me in the car while i'm having my twice daily "do my mutuals think im annoying and hate me and the way i act" crisis

[stabbyfoxandrew]

also hi. me and jess ended up binge watching iwtv s2 yesterday.

[sealeneee]

siiiiiiigh

[inkskinned]

sometimes we just need someone to pay enough attention.

for the longest time i had been trying to read The Lord of The Rings. everyone had sung the praises for it, over and over. i'd seen clips of the movie and it seemed like it could be fun, but actually reading it was fucking horrible.

my parents had the omnibus - all the books squished into one big tome - and in the 4th grade i started sort of an annual tradition: i would start trying to read TLR and get frustrated after about a month and put it back down. at first i figured i was just too young for it, and that it would eventually make sense.

but every time i came back to it, i would find myself having the exact same experience: it was confusing, weird, and dry as a fucking bone. i couldn't figure it out. how had everyone else on earth read this book and enjoyed it? how had they made movies out of this thing? it was, like, barely coherent. i would see it on "classics" list and on every fantasy/sci-fi list and everyone said i should read it; but i figured that it was like my opinion of great expectations - just because it's a classic doesn't mean i'm going to like experiencing it.

at 20, i began the process of forcing myself through it. if i had to treat the experience like a self-inflicted textbook, i would - but i was going to read it.

my mom came across me taking notes at our kitchen table. i was on the last few pages of the first book in the omnibus, and i was dreading moving on to the next. she smiled down at me. only you would take notes on creative writing. then she sat down and her brow wrinkled. wait. why are you taking notes on this?

i said the thing i always said - it's boring, and i forget what's happening in it because it's so weird, and dense. and strange.

she nodded a little, and started to stand up. and then sat back down and said - wait, will you show me the book?

i was happy to hand it over, annoyed with the fact i'd barely made a dent in the monster of a thing. she pulled it to herself, pushing her glasses up so she could read the tiny writing. for a moment, she was silent, and then she let out a cackle. she wouldn't stop laughing. oh my god. i cannot wait to tell your father.

i was immediately defensive. okay, maybe i'm stupid but i've been trying to read this since the 4th grade and -

she shook her head. raquel, this is the Silmarillion. you've been reading the Silmarillion, not the lord of the rings.

anyway, it turns out that the hobbit and lord of the rings series are all super good and i understand why they're recommended reading. but good lord (of the rings), i wish somebody had just asked - wait. this kind of thing is right up your alley. you love fantasy. it sounds like something might be wrong. why do you think it's so boring?

[erumai-maadu]

Just noting down some things about Tenten that influence my view of her characterization/personality. primarily for my own reference as i’m writing, as well as to kind of get a more mature and consistent characterization of her than i had before. this gonna be an extremely long and rambling post, (where I think I repeat myself a whole lot oops) and there’s not really anything profound, just some traits i’m pulling from canon and interpreting.

most of Tenten’s ’canon’ characterization comes from filler and databooks, which I then further interpret, so a lot of her characterization in this post is three degrees of fanon/headcanon, with some liberties taken where I dislike the interpretation.

We’re introduced to Tenten during the chunin exams, where she’s seen throwing kunai at a target dummy that Neji is sitting under. She casually throws her kunai and hits the target dead center, instantly showing her marksmanship skill, but also Neji’s implicit trust in her since he doesn’t even flinch and the target is pretty much right over his head. This ties in later but basically, he fully trusts that she will not miss.

We see Tenten again before the first round of the chunin exams, while Izumo and Kotetsu are blocking the door. The thing I find notable in that scene is Tenten not being immune to Sasuke LOL.

(Manga panel grabbed from @tentenarchive)

it's interesting to me that her thing is specifically that there's not a single scratch on him, and that he's "cool". Makes sense given that she's on a team with Gai and Lee and she desperately wants them to be cool too. And she dislikes weak people so yeah, of course it's cool to her that he's untouchable.

Actually on this topic, Tenten's taste seems to be "cool people"? In a filler episode (naruto 162) she thinks that the lord of a local land is really cute when she sees him get down for his palanquin. The lord's whole thing is that he's like cold and cool and pensive etc. so this seems to be Tenten's taste to some degree. He turns out to actually be a girl in the end so yknow. bi Tenten confirmed.

Here's her page from the first databook (screenshotted from The Narutoversity). She gets annoyed at Lee injuring himself for Sakura's sake, which I'm pretty sure isn't really out of care so much as it is that they're in the middle of the forest of death in like. the worst situation possible. Love how Ino's just standing there like "what the fuck kind of medical care is this".

I generally dislike the stats since I find that they’re inaccurate to what we see on-panel (a whole rant I could go on another time tbh), and Kishimoto tends to skew them egregiously in favor of characters he particularly likes. Ex: genin era Neji’s total is 21, and shippuden Tenten’s is 20.5. You cannot seriously be telling me that Neji as a genin is stronger than chunin Tenten three years in the future. Come on Kishimoto. There are a few things of note here though, so let’s go through them anyway.

Tenten’s highest stat is her speed, at 3, which is the same as Sasuke from the same databook. So clearly, she’s fast, especially since Sasuke is known for his speed. She's not as fast as Lee, but still quick on her feet and dexterous, with fast reflexes. Makes sense, since the second databook describes her fighting style as “dancing flexibly and firing speedily”.

Her strength is a 1 and her stamina is a 1.5, which is insane to me. Like she’s on Team Gai???? They do 500 laps around Konoha and 1000+ pushups every day???? I reject canon here, fuck u kishi, I know she’s actually buff as hell and has hella stamina.

Her intelligence is a 2, which might seem super low but it matches Sasuke's intelligence, and is only 0.5 lower than Neji and Temari's. I think it just goes to show that the scale for these stats is skewed as hell. But basically what this means is that she operates at a similar level to Sasuke, Temari, and Neji, where she picks up on the things around her, and while she isn't operating on the level of Shikamaru, she's still a good strategist.

Back to the actual show, we get to the elimination round and her fight against Temari (episode 43). I’m basing this part off the anime because their fight in the manga is like three panels long.

So technically, this is “filler” (as if any tenten fan really cares lol).

From the Hokage's commentary, her battle sense is pretty good. She positions herself a perfect distance away from the enemy. She's trying to bait Temari into attacking, to see what her power is and figure out how to counter it, and Temari calls her out on it.

Tenten isn't a 200 IQ genius strategist the way Shikamaru is, but she is still a smart fighter. We can see she thinks in a similar way to him (and Temari) feeling out the enemy's power and what they can do before counterattacking strategically. I need them to be best friends tbh.

Her first reaction when she throws her shuriken at Temari and misses is surprise. She is deeply confident in her own abilities, so it's genuinely shocking to her. She yells "I missed? There's no way!" and in the stands, Gai also insists up and down that Tenten never misses.

She has the utmost confidence in herself, and from the rest of her team. None of them have any doubt in her, and this also ties back to that introductory scene. No wonder Neji let her chuck kunai at targets near him. It's probably something she does regularly too.

Tenten loses to Temari, and is immediately down on herself. We see a lot of this in Shippuden 237, where she's lying in the hospital and loses all her confidence in herself and her abilities.

Shippuden 237 shows us that Tenten does actually have self-esteem issues, even before this fight with Temari. During their first year as genin, when Lee keeps getting defeated by Neji, Tenten tells Lee that he really should just give up on beating Neji, because he's a genius, and Lee is not. It's clear in the voice acting and the expressions that to some extent, Tenten isn't just speaking about Lee when she says this, she's also speaking about herself.

She seems to compare herself a lot to others, often in a negative light, talking down about herself when others are better than her, but still trying her best to surpass them.

But the way she talks after losing to Temari is much worse. Her match with Temari affects her deeply, and likely for many years to come. I think it becomes one of her primary motivations to become stronger, as she keeps holding that moment as her lowest point and vowing to never be that helpless against an opponent again.

Headcanons here. After her fight with Temari, Tenten also throws herself into learning 1) fire jutsu to combat Temari’s wind (this is why she develops that dragon bomb jutsu she uses during the Konoha Crush filler episode), and 2) seals that can absorb/store away opponents’ attacks.

I think Tenten’s primary chakra nature is actually lightning, which is also why she is so weak to wind chakra. I love this post by @/fineillsignup that goes into detail about chakra natures, and a lot of the traits listed under lightning nature fit with my interpretations of Tenten. I also am heavily biased toward the idea of Kakashi, who is basically student-less during the interlude period, teaching Tenten lightning jutsu since she's his husband's friend's student.

Going back to that scene in shippuden 237, I do think her talking down to Lee in their first year as genin is also interesting. Even though I love the idea of Lee and Tenten being besties before Team Gai and her standing up for him, I think the reality is that she probably didn’t really talk to him in the Academy, and once they were on the same team, she was kind to him, and learned to work with him.

Lee very specifically mentions in a flashback in episode 100 that nobody told him anything encouraging, sensei or student. This obviously includes Tenten. So while she wasn’t outright mean to him, she also didn’t have the greatest opinion of him.

She very quickly found herself relating with him, and that probably made her take out some of her own self-loathing on him at first. Eventually they become close, and form a very deep friendship, but things start out pretty rocky.

Kishimoto confirms that every day for a month between the second and final rounds of the chunin exams, Neji and Tenten train together in secret to help him reverse-engineer the 8 trigrams 64 palms and the rotation. It’s interesting that everyone else goes to train with a jounin and only Neji chooses to train with his teammate.

I think this implies Tenten to be a good secret keeper and evidence that Neji already told her about the cursed seal and all the clan drama. During Neji’s speech to Naruto, Tenten’s reaction is shown alongside Hiruzen and Hiashi’s, both of whom already know all about the curse mark and his father’s death. So Neji has told Tenten as well.

Plus Tenten is uniquely suited to help with Rotation, since she can throw a billion knives no jutsu.

During Naruto vs Neji, Tenten gets used as the mouthpiece to explain Neji's attacks, which also shows how well she knows him after training with him for the Chunin exams, but she's also genuinely impressed when Naruto wins, and even compliments him.

There's a brief scene during Shikamaru v Temari where Tenten comments about how she couldn't beat Temari. Also look at her arms. A 1 for her strength stat??? with those arms??? sure kishi.

Okay, we move on to when Orochimaru attacks Konoha, and there’s this filler episode (shippuden 192) where Hinata gets kidnapped by Kumo shinobi. This episode has some small Tenten moments, where you can also see how Neji thinks of her, and I like them a lot.

We start off with Tenten going to check in on Neji after his conversation with Hiashi, and he actually opens up and tells her all about what they had just spoken about, another sign that he's told her about everything with his clan.

When Hinata is kidnapped and the Hyuuga Elder makes Neji go get her, Tenten comes with him, not out of any particular concern for Hinata, but purely to back up Neji. I doubt she likes Hinata much at first (my eyes were opened after this post by @tentenismybitch), so she’s doing this more for Neji’s sake.

As they're chasing after the man who kidnapped Hinata, they get caught in a trap, and Tenten tells Neji to leave her behind (strategic thinking) and Neji only hesitates for a second before agreeing and going on ahead. Neji expresses that this is because he knows Tenten can handle herself.

We see her using a new jutsu (the Dragon Bomb), which as I mentioned before, I think she developed with Temari in mind.

During the Hokage’s funeral we do see her in funeral attire looking sad but is she really? debatable. I think no, but it’s not entirely relevant. This is all personal headcanon here, not based on canon evidence beyond extrapolating from what I’ve seen.

Tenten doesn't strike me as someone burning with loyalty to the village and harping on about the “will of fire” and whatnot. She does her duty, and that’s about it. It doesn’t go further than that. She cares about the people dear to her, but not really about the village specifically.

After the Hokage’s funeral, Tenten doesn’t appear again until the end of the Search For Tsunade arc, which I think is her last non-filler appearance in the original series other than a few flashbacks.

She’s excited about Tsunade coming to the village, and tells Neji after he trains, and asks him to come with her to go see Tsunade. Neji tells her he’s not interested, and Tenten looks a little disappointed.

We see Tenten in some flashbacks to Lee's genin years (episode 100). As Neji is talking down to Lee, Tenten doesn't really say anything, which matches with what i said earlier. But, when Gai tells them that with hard work, anyone can be a shinobi, Tenten has a similar reaction to Lee, while Neji just looks annoyed.

What Gai says seems to give her hope. That with enough hard work, anyone can become great. She doesn't think of herself as a genius, and if anything, seems to group herself with Lee in terms of ability. This is also shown in Shippuden 237, which I'll discuss later.

After this we only see Tenten in the end-of-series filler, which will be part 2 of this post since it's already really long. We'll finish off by looking at data book 2, which came out after the manga for the first series had finished.

From the second data book (screenshot also taken from the Narutoversity), we see part of her personality is being a "busybody" LMFAOOOO. So yeah she's inquisitive and curious, being a research enthusiast, but also uses that same nature to get in on everyone's business too. We can assume she's also observant and detail-oriented, can probably read people pretty well.

I like this a lot! I think Tenten is a good people person, and many find her easy to get along with. She’s probably one of those people that you accidentally find yourself telling really important or deep stuff to without really knowing why. She’s just got this air around her that’s very chill and comfortable.

But I do think she’s nosy, and does wanna know about everything, just to be in the know. She’s a little detective LOL.

The research enthusiast part is a fun thing too. She strikes me as a tinkerer, messing with new weapon designs or seal ideas, constantly turning something over in her head.

The first and second databooks list her hobby as fortune-telling, which is also really cute. I think she knows palmistry and does readings for her friends, and has some knowledge of astrology. She isn't overly superstitious, but she does believe in ghosts, and gets fairly nervous when she sees or hears something that can be considered a bad omen.

She has pride in her weapons, clearly, and her arsenal is implied to be the largest and strongest of any ninja. I’d like to assume that some of her pride comes from the weapons in her arsenal that are of her own design.

Her 'carefree, smiling face' is also an interesting point. At first I was unsure how to interpret this, but to me it reads as her being rather laid-back and carefree, despite her power and lethality. Again, not very sure how to interpret this line and I'd love to hear how anyone else sees it!

It’s cute that Tsunade coming to the village and becoming hokage made Tenten train harder. I think aside from her defeat to Temari, this becomes another major motivation for Tenten. She wants to impress Tsunade, the kunoichi that she admires most.

She says she'd like to fight Sakura, so I think there's some kind of jealousy or something to prove there since Sakura got to be Tsunade’s apprentice and Tenten didn't. This goes back to her low self-esteem and those issues she’s been having since her fight with Temari.

Shippuden 237 touches on this but Tenten did actually try to become a medical ninja for a bit, she just didn’t have the chakra control necessary. Obviously this adds to her insecurities when Sakura turns out to be a natural at medical ninjutsu with unnaturally good chakra control.

I’m not a huge fan of the ‘trying to be a mednin’ part of this ngl, I think she’s a little too fixated on weapons to truly care about medical ninjutsu, and wants to emulate Tsunade just for the ‘strongest kunoichi’ part rather than trying to be her exact carbon copy. Plus, I think (headcanon) Tenten’s chakra control has to be at least decently good in order to do seals, but that’s a different rabbit hole. I tend to disregard this in my fics and will likely continue to do so.

I do like the thing of being jealous of Sakura in some way for being Tsunade’s apprentice, though. It’s some nice flavor and I appreciate the one-sided rivalry. I think it would be funny for Sakura to think of Tenten as the cool senpai and look up to her, meanwhile Tenten is struggling to not immediately challenge her to a duel, Gai-style.

Since this is already super long, I’ll do a part 2 for all the filler arcs she’s in, and then a part 3 for shippuden.

[ellestrade]

What do you think makes a good Damian Wayne fanfic ? Like what are your standards and red flags when you're reading one

Usually, I would first look at the 'Damian Wayne-centric' tags on ao3 and go from there. I don't think I hold any fics up to a certain standard, though being able to read any is important to me— that means proper paragraphing, grammar, etc.

I know that most, if not all writers on ao3 are amateur writers, novice at best and, if I'm lucky, have been writing since the dawn of Wattpad, so it's not fair for me to expect top-tier writing/characterisation. Everyone always has some kind of trope to fall back into, myself included. It's just a matter if said trope is annoying or not to consume.

"Good Damian Wayne fanfics" are, itself, subjective— because good fanfics, for me, means that there are no attempts at butchering his character, along with his loved ones, and that includes Talia, Ra's, Maya and Mara, etc. If I open a fic and it's all just a grandiose of people putting down Talia (making her a bad/abusive mother) just to have Bruce hugs his son, then I'm closing the tab.

That being said, here are my red flags/pet peeves when it comes to reading a fanfic:

Any, and I mean any variant consisting of bashing the al-Ghuls.

"Talia al-Ghul is a bad mother"

"Talia al-Ghul is a rapist"

"Ra's al-Ghul is a creep"

"Damian is a bad sibling"

Usually, any fics that consist of these types of fics often came out as xenophobic or straight up racist— taking Grant Morrison's run (primarily Talia's character assassination) as gospel, or never reading canon material as a whole.

Of course, credits where it's due, there are some, and I mean a very small some, fics that don't transpire that image— using the tag that to simply convey Damian's time in the League, or phrasing it in a way that Talia/Ra's were an abuser once victim. However, making them bad in comparison is just a no-go for me.

Also, making Talia a rapist is a one way ticket for me to block you— because not only that it is wrong, but it also shows that you don't care enough to do thorough research and just take it as it is; Talia, pre-Morrison, was depicted as this kind and loving woman. She was studying medicine when she met Bruce. They genuinely have Chemistry together. She was also a victim of abuse herself, and she would rather die than inflict harm upon others on purpose. She loves her son, she loves her husband, she loves her family and she also loves herself.

Also, the al-Ghuls are also some of the most affectionate family there are— at least, of course, prior to the whole character assassination for the sake of making Bruce seem like the better parent in comparison. They aren't afraid to show genuine affection to one another, becoming physical and shows their devotion beyond what words could measure— which, is , unfortunate, since they're presented in Western media, and God knows how bad someone would interpret a relationship if 'I love you's aren't being exchanged regularly like therapy talks.

Dare I say, they might actually be better than the BatFam 🤷🤷 but then I might get hunted down for sports so I'll keep that opinion to myself, for now.

I'm also going to redirect you to this one lovely account, @rasalghul777 and read their take(s) on Brutalia. Here's a starting post and this one if you'd like to start. This person makes wonderful posts regarding Brutalia and the al-Ghuls as a whole than what I could ever conspire and I applaud them for it.

White savior complex

"Damian got his love for animals from [insert any BatFamily members here]"

"Damian learned to love through being with BatFam"

Again, this could also be read along with my first point, but can also be seen separately— I genuinely cannot stand when Damian was written in a way that he was a 'feral, stabby boi' prior his transgression into the BatFamily since it conveys distasteful perception of the Arabic people as a whole; them being uncultured or even uncivilized.

It's gross, I hate it, get it away from me.

Also, Damian inheriting his love for animals from anyone else other than the al-Ghuls is just pure fanon bullshit— because that means you have no perception of what the League of Assassins really are and just takes everything the fandom writes at face value; the League (including Talia and Ra's) aren't some 2-dimensional villains who kills. Reducing a villain to a mere trope just to prop up your white boy isn't going to make me like them. It just takes away the fun of it.

People just love to forget the 'eco' in 'eco-terrorist', which Ra's is.

If anything, Damian would inherit his genuine and deep love for animals and nature from him.

It's worth mentioning that the League of Assassins doesn't kill people just for the sake of violence— there's a reason why they're being categorized as eco-terrorists, and not the other category people love to associate Arabs with; they kill with reason. Similar to Poison Ivy, they specifically target any organisation that brings ruins to Earth and nature as a whole.

On another note, writing Damian as 'uncivilized' or 'feral' is just plain wrong. While it certainly can be cute, in a sort of gremlin-esque, little brother way (Lord knows how much I love my little brother, but simultaneously wanted to (subliminally) throw a chair at him) but depicting him as this one child that goes around stabbing everyone unprompted rubs me the wrong way.

This goes along with my first note, but Damian was raised as a prince when he was in the League; there were some instances where soldiers who came to pick him up refer to him as "Young prince". He has manners. He knows what to say and what to do when being confronted by the media. If anything, Damian would adapt 'Gotham's Darling Boy' facade faster than BatFam girlies mischaracterise the next POC character.

Damian does love his mother and grandfather and his family back in the League very, very much. Just because he doesn't convey it in a conventional, traditional way, doesn't mean he doesn't know how. He has his own ways of saying 'I love you's of his own.

People that clearly consume more fanon media in comparison to canon.

Tim Drake stans. Like, as a whole.

Let me begin by saying I actually do not care on how you plan to enjoy your nice little character trope, but believe me when I say that there are some weights to what's famously transpired in the fandom spaces.

It's the "fandom affects canon space" phenomenon all over again.

It should go without saying that what goes in the fandom stays in the fandom, and vice versa. Like I said before, people tend to fall back to their favourite trope— writing characters in a certain way, conveying certain messages, etc. However, in the midst of your 'creative freedom', it's easy to forget that these characters are not yours.

Fandom is derived from the canon substance, that's why it's so flexible and allows creative freedom in the first place. The consumer can decide what's canon in the fandom space (rejecting what's real), though it's important to remember that canon is still the blueprint and shouldn't be thoroughly ignored in favour of your dumb little incorrect quotes. Rejecting everything just means that you're creating an Oc, which, atp is what you should be doing instead of DTI a canon character.

It's why we got gems like these:

(I have reached tumblr maximum capacity for images, but know that there's more)

Again, do what you want, I don't care! But remember that when you're depicting certain character dynamics like these, it also affects other potential fans' views and first impressions of said character.

I don't want to go off tangent longer than necessary— but I actively avoid any variants of, "Hurt Tim Drake" tags on ao3. Mostly because mischaracterisation awaits me. The rest are because his fans are genuinely obnoxious and (more often than not) have little to no comprehension to actual canon substance.

I think that's all that I could muster up. Sorry this post is long, lol, but I got carried away.

[cinemastyles-backup]

One and Done?

Summary: Anon request - “Hello I have a oneshot request/idea can you do an enemies to lovers where y/n is just as popular as Harry and he can't stand it but he secretly loves her and make it as smutty as you possibly can?”

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, enemies to lovers, angst, asshole!harry, masterbation using vibrator, dirty thoughts, dirty talk, fingering, oral (f rec), spanking, creampie, filth

My original CinemaStyles-blog has been terminated, so I created a new one.

DUNKIRK HARRY

"You can't just not show up to the press conference, Harry." I overhear my manager tell Harry. Well, our manager.

"Why not?" Harry argues, "You'll have y/n there. She can cover all the questions."

I roll my eyes and smirk, Harry cannot stand that I'm just as big as he is. It gets under his skin that his fans love me just as much as him, and I live for that.

"You're the other star of the movie, Harry. You can't just bail on the press for it. We need you to talk about it."

I take a deep breathe and walk around the corner, "Hey, mick, I was looking- oh sorry did I interrupt something?" I glance at Harry and poorly hide my smirk on purpose.

"Yeah, kinda." Harry says with an annoyed tone.

"No, y/n. What's up?" Mick says with a sigh.

"I was wondering what the dress code for tomorrow is." I cross my arms and put my weight on my left leg, popping my hip out, "Is it dress up? Casual?"

"Yeah, we have a dress for you. They're bringing it tomorrow morning." Mick's phone rings, "If you'll excuse me.." he picks up the phone and leaves the room.

I look at Harry, "What?"

He shakes his head, "Did I say anything?"

I shrug, "You're staring at me like you want to."

He rolls his eyes and scoffs, "Staring? Never." He walks over and grabs a bottle of water, "You wish I would stare at you."

I pretend to gag, "Barf."

He tilts his head, "No, I was actually thinking about what horrid dress they're going to make you wear tomorrow."

I roll my eyes, "Please. I could wear a stained table cloth and still look better than you." I turn to walk out and Harry says my name.

I turn and look at him, "What."

He walks over to me and looks down. A smirk slowly grows on his lips, "Good luck tomorrow. You're going to need it."

He brushes his chest against mine and walks out.

——

I lay in bed alone. Tossing and turning, kind of anxious for tomorrow's press conference.

I roll onto my back and let out a sigh as I drop my hands beside me onto the bed. I bite my lip and flip the covers off of my body.

I get up and walk over to my suitcase, digging though to pull out my compact vibrator. I smile and prance back to bed. I pull the covers back over and bite my lip as I click the button to turn it on.

I go through the options until I'm on the highest setting. I place the vibrator on my clit and arch my back, letting out a gasp.

I spread my legs wider and try to picture something to help me get to the release I'm so desperately craving.

Harry.

I pull the vibrator away from my body and sit up, "No." I say to myself, "No. No. No."

I toss the vibrator on the bed and lay back down. I chew on the inside of my lip and sigh, he'll never know.

I lean up and snatch the still buzzing object off the bed and place it between my legs again.

Harry circles my brain. In my mind, I make the sex scene we filmed real, and with a few added details.

His cock plunging deep into my pussy. His hands tangled into my hair. His voice, deep and raspy as he tells me how much of a good girl I'm being for him.

I moan Harry's name loudly which catches me off guard and I slam my hand over my mouth.

I arch my back off the bed and squeeze my thighs together as I cum to the image of Harry absolutely railing me into the mattress.

My chest rises and falls quickly as I slowly pull the vibrator away and click it off. I lay it next to me on the bed and slowly take my hand away from my mouth.

Harry's room is right next to mine and I hope to God he didn't hear me.

——

"Good morning." Gwen, who does the makeup, greets as I sit down in her chair, "Oh honey. Did you not sleep last night? You look exhausted."

Harry walks in and sits down next to me, "Yeah, y/n, you look like you were up all hours of the night." He smirks and sips his coffee.

Oh god, he heard me. He fucking heard me.

"Harry. Stop it. You look tired too." Gwen snaps pointing a makeup brush at him.

I smirk slightly, "Yeah, Harry. You look like you were up all hours of the night." I mock him in a fake British accent. He rolls his eyes and starts to get his hair done.

"I'll fix you up nice and pretty, don't you worry." Gwen winks at me in the mirror and I smile, "Thanks."

——

"Okay people. It's almost red carpet time!" Don the direction yells while clapping his hands.

"You two better play nice today or I swear to God.." Mick says through gritted teeth.

"Not me you have to worry about." Harry throws me under the bus.

"Mhm." Mick rolls his eyes, "Just- both of you please .. this is important."

"You got it." I give him a thumbs up and give Harry an eye roll. He chuckles and shakes his head.

"What?" I ask turning towards him, "If you have something to say, say it."

He leans in close to me and whispers, "I heard you."

I freeze and stare at him in shock, unable to process that he fucking heard me touching myself to him.

Him of all people.

"Y/N." I blink and look over at Mick, "Y/N. Go. It's your turn."

I suddenly come back to the embarrassing reality and turn away from Harry. I take a deep breathe and smooth my dress out, walking with shaky legs down the carpet.

I smile, turn, and pose for the photographers, moving down the line. The fans scream for me, just as much as they do for Harry and I glance down at him. He clenches his jaw and forces a smile.

Even though he might know what I did, I still get under his skin and his huge narcissistic ego is bruised.

I walk up to the fans to sign a few things and say hello and they go wild.

"Hello. Hi. Hello. Thank you for coming." I say with a huge smile, "Thank you."

"Y/N. You look beautiful!"

"Thank you!" I smile and pose for a selfie with a few fans, "I gotta go! Thank you! Thank you!" I blow kisses as I walk to the last group of photographers.

"Can we see the dress?"

"Do a little spin for us, yeah?"

I spin around slowly, allowing them to see just how good this dress shows off the curves of my body.

"Can we get the stars of the movie together please?"

My heart sinks to my ass and I swear fell out.

"Of course you can!" Harry says with a chuckle as he walks up to me, "Hello." He says with a smirk, "Nice to finally hear- er, I mean see you again."

I can feel my cheeks getting hot and I swallow, "Fuck off." I mumble through a smile.

"Sounds like you already beat me to it. Last night at least." He pulls me closer to him and looks up at the cameras.

I fight to hold my smile. It feels like forever until they're finally done with us.

"Thank you!" I smile and walk away from Harry. I walk into the hallway to meet the other cast members who are joining us today.

I lean against the wall and take a deep breathe. I look over as Harry walks in and I scoff and turn away. He walks up and leans his shoulder against the wall behind me, "You know.." he pauses.

I shake my head and pull my arm away as he touches the back of my arm, "Y/N." I can sense that he stepped closer, "If you would have asked.." he leans down, his lips are almost touching my ear, "I could have helped you."

I whip around and lay a hand on his chest, "You don't know what you're talking about." I yell in a quiet tone, "So just shut your fucking mouth and let me the hell alone."

He chuckles, "I get it. I'd fantasize about me, too. I promise you're not the only one."

"You're so disgusting." I roll my eyes and turn back around, "Fucking men." I grumble to myself.

"You're not easy to like yourself, sweetheart. So maybe before you judge anyone else, you work on fixing yourself." He huffs.

"I don't need.." I turn around, "I don't need to work on anything other than hating you more."

"Mhm." He rolls his eyes and looks at me, "I'm sure you hate me so much." He fake moans the last two words.

"Hmm. I don't need to hate you more because you've just maxed out the scale of hate." I roll my eyes and walk forward, getting ready to walk in.

"Go, y/n." Mick says motioning for me to walk in.

I put on a smile and walk in, waving to the crowd and blowing kisses as they cheer for me. I walk up on stage and take my seat, smiling and thanking them.

Harry walks in and it's the same level of excitement as it is for me. I purse my lips together and look down, brushing my lashes with my finger to hide my smirk.

"Hello, everyone. Thank you." He takes his seat, of course, right next to me.

——

This is has been a piece of cake. The questions were easy. The answers were easy. We were in the home stretch- until that one interview had to ask that one goddamn question.

"What we're the feelings going on during the big sex scene that you and Harry had to do?"

I stare at her for a few seconds before I speak, "Um, well. I feel like you need to have a certain level of trust when doing something like that, you know?" I start, "I can definitely say that there was a lot of that. We had an amazing coach there with us to help us achieve the level of realness, I guess you could say?"

I glance over at Harry and smile at him, "I couldn't have asked for a better partner to do that scene with."

I look back out to the crowds and Mick gives me two thumbs up.

"And Harry?" The interviewer asks, "How do you feel about it?"

Harry takes a deep breathe and thinks for a moment, "I have to agree with y/n on that actually. You also have to fully be okay with being that.. naked with a couple other people in the room, and y/n was just as nervous as I was at first." He leans forward, "We got comfortable with each other pretty quick."

"And how was that? Did you guys like-"

I cut her off, speaking kinda quickly, "No. No. it was more like we knew we had to do this so we talked each other through our nerves and just focused on making this movie the best it could possibly be."

"Thank you."

I nod and avoid looking over at Harry.

"Let's have a round of applause for our amazing cast of  Rose and Levi." The host says clapping with the crowd.

I stand up, smiling and waving, and praying this is over so I can go curl up in my hotel room and die for the rest of the day.

——

"We leave tomorrow morning. The cars will be waiting out front to take us to the airport, seven am. Don't be late." Mick says nodding, "You did good today. See you tomorrow."

I smile and grab my bag, "Thanks." I walk to the elevator and press the button. Someone else walks up and I can immediately tell that it's Harry.

"Not one word the entire way up." I say as the doors open. I get on and turn around. My eyes follow him as he walks on. He presses the three button and steps back.

He has his hair pushed back with glasses and a grey hoodie on with black shorts and I find myself thinking what it would be like to get fucked on an elevator.

I chew on the inside of my lip and beg myself to stop thinking that way.

The doors open and I practically sprint off and down the hall way to my room. I give Harry one last look, debating on acting on my thoughts or not.

I tilt my head and go into my room, shutting the door quickly. I press my back against the door and listen to see if I can hear him go into his room or not.

It stays silent and I let out a sigh, "Fuck." I run my hands over my face and go into the bathroom to run a shower.

I strip down from my morning clothes and put the robe on that's hanging on the door. I pour a glass of wine as I wait for the water to heat up and I drink it all in one gulp.

I pour another and do the same thing before I set the glass down and walk into the bathroom. I shut the door and step in.

I let the water run over my body and Harry's voice runs through my head, I could have helped you.

I bite my lip and shake my head. He wasn't serious. Was he? No, no. I'm not asking. No.

——

I wrap my hair in the towel and put the robe back on, loosely tying the belt around my waist.

I pour another glass of wine, but this time I take my time with it. There's a knock on the door and I look up, "Coming." I look through the peephole and let out a sigh.

"What do you want?" I say as I open the door. Harry pushes past me and walks right in, "Yeah, sure. Just co-"

He turn around and cuts me off, "Just shut the hell up for a minute, okay?"

I stare at him shut the door, "Yes sir."

He runs a hand through his hair, "You." He groans, "Fuck." He walks toward me then turns around, "God dammit, y/n."

"What the hell did I do?" I hold out my arms to the sides and watch was he paces, "If you ca-"

"You made me love you."

I cannot produce words anymore, so I just stand there, completely blindsided by what he said.

"You.." he walks over and stands in front of me, "You have a fire inside of you that just.. pulls me in and it gets worse the harder I try to fight it." His eyes scan over my face, "What you did last night? Moaning my name.. I've done countless of times with yours."

My lips part and I just stare at him.

"You have no fucking idea how much I wish I could have just .. Fucked you for real during our scene. Just ripped those panties off of you and shoved my cock deep into that pussy of yours."

My breathe catches in my throat and I look around, "H-Harry." I whisper trying to comprehend the words he just spoke, "I-I.."

He steps towards me, "Hearing you moan my name is something I've dreamed of hearing, y/n."

I watch as he traces the fabric of my robe.

"And the fact that you're loved by the world, makes it even worse for me because you could have anyone you want an-"

"I want you." I speak quickly. I repeat the words I just spoke in my head and nod, "I want you."

He smirks and is quick to untie my robe, revealing my naked body to him. He seen me naked a couple times but the look on his face is like he's seeing me for the very first time all over again.

His eyes scan over my body and he pulls me in by my robe, "You're so fucking sexy, y/n." His hands slide onto my hips and he pulls me into him.

I finish my wine quickly and set the glass on the table. Harry picks me up and takes me to the bed, laying me down and kissing up my body to my lips.

My hands grab his neck and I pull him close, almost like my body missed him.

It did.

"Tell me what you did last night." He says, "Tell me what you thought about."

"You." I whisper, "I thought about you."

"Doing what, my love?" Harry drags his fingers down my naked body, stopping once he reaches my clit.

My lips part as he presses down, "To-touching myself." I breathe out and moan. He presses circles onto my clit as his lips place little kisses on my skin.

"Did it feel good?" He asks quietly, "Did touching yourself to me feel so good?"

I nod and arch my back, "Y-yes."

"I was awake, doing the same thing." He kisses my jaw line, his fingers move down and slip inside of me, "But with you. Thinking about your beautiful, naked body under mine."

I moan as he pushes his fingers deep into me, curling them.

"You drive me fucking insane, y/n." He mumbles as he nudges his nose against my neck, "I hate it."

I open my eyes and look at him, "You.. hate it?"

"Well.." he tilts his head, "Until now. I hated it until this very moment."

I smile slightly and gasp as he thrusts his fingers in slowly, "Harry." I whimper, "Please."

"Please what? Hmm?" He kisses from my cheek to my lips, "Tell me baby. Tell me what you want."

"I need your cock." I clench around his fingers and he chuckles, "Can you cum for me, y/n?" He works his fingers in and out at a slightly faster pace, working me to the edge.

"Fuck." I gasp loudly as I cum on his hand.

He groans lowly, "Good job, baby."

I catch my breathe and look up at him, "Why didn't you ever tell me?" He slips his hoodie and shirt off and shrugs, "It was easier to hate you at the time."

"What do you mean?" I sit up and watch as he slowly pushes his sweats down.

He shakes his head, "That's not important anymore." He takes his boxers off and crawls up the bed. I lay back as he moves on top of me and I look up at him.

"What's important right now.. is that I find out what you taste like." He smirks slightly and kisses down my body.

I bite my lip and watch as he pushes my legs further apart and licks his lips. I throw my head back and my back rises off the bed as his tongue slides up my pussy.

He moans as his tongue slides in and out and I whine, "Harry." He grips my inner thighs and his fingers dig in.

I let out a loud moan and reach down with one hand to lay it on his head. My fingers gradually gather a fist full of hair and I pull as I push him closer.

I repeatedly moan out his name as he tongue fucks me.

His nose rubs my clit, adding additional pleasure and I cum again. He continues to eat me out for another few minutes and pulls away with a satisfied sigh.

"You taste fucking delicious, y/n." He whispers as he makes his way up to me again, "Hearing you moan out my name is music to my ears. I fucking love it."

I bite my lip and lean up to connect my lips with his. My tongue slides into his mouth and I moan at my taste on his tongue.

"Roll over." He commands.

I roll over onto my stomach and his hands grip my ass cheeks, "Fuck." He groans, "So fucking hot."

He leans down and kisses down my back as he grips my hips to pull them up. I move my legs up so my ass is in the air for him.

"You want my cock?" He asks delivering a slap to my right cheek, "Hmm?"

I nod and moan, "Yes."

"Couldn't quite hear ya, love." He delivered a smack to my left cheek.

"Yes." I practically scream out from the pained pleasure he gave me, "Yes Harry."

"Mm." He spreads my folds apart and pumps his fingers inside of me a few times before he pulls them out and replaces it with his cock.

I push my face into the mattress and leg out a loud moan as I grip the sheets.

"I want to hear you, baby." Harry says grabbing my hair and pulling my head up, "I want to hear you scream while I fuck the shit out of you."

I nod once and moan as he pushes his cock all the way inside of me, "Fuck, Harry!"

He groans and pulls out, roughly thrusting back in.

I let out a loud moan and push my hips back to meet his. His hand on my hip tightens as he starts to thrust, hard and slow.

"Your pussy is hugging my cock in all the right ways. Fuck." He moans, "I knew I needed you."

I moan louder with each hard thrust. Screaming out his name with the most utter pleasure, "Fuck. Fuck."

I clench around him and claw at the bed, "H-ha-" I can't even speak. My eyes roll shut and my body goes numb.

Harry groans and let's go of my hair. My head falls onto the bed and he grips my hips, pulling my hips back to meet his thrusts.

"Fuck, y/n." He moans, "You're going to make me cum sooner than I want, fuck."

I grip the sheets and pull, letting the whole hotel know, if they don't already know by now, that's I'm being given a proper fuck.

Harry's thrusts slow down and I can feel his cock twitch inside of me.

I let out a sigh and lay my body down as soon as he pulls out.

Harry falls down next to me and we lay there for a few minutes until he finally gets up. He puts on his sweats and lays his hoodie on the bed.

"So what was that? Just a one and done fuck?" I ask grabbing my robe and putting it on, "Or.." I tie my robe shut again and sit on the edge of the bed.

He looks at me and stares at me for a few seconds before he walks over to me.

He stands between my legs and lifts my chin up with his fingers, "If anyone else touches you, I'll break every single one of their goddamn fingers. You're mine now, baby."

——

Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated and don’t forget to hit follow! ♥

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

okay disjointed thoughts about the wicked movie 1 day after watching it lets go

-first of all, my movie theater put speakers outside and was just blasting the entire soundtrack on repeat. we could hear it down the street as we were driving up. that's just simply insane

-the opening establishing shots of the land were great but honestly. the very clearly animated dorothy and gang really annoyed me lmfao like I'm sorry it cannot have possibly been too hard to get a few extras to stand in front of a screen for point 5 seconds lol. it was so fast that I Know I'm being dramatic about it but they looked more cartoon than the flying monkey's did

-baby elphie and baby nessa are the cutest things I've ever seen in my life...

-I kinda...like the more human/animal hybrids that the stage show and the original movie had. sorry. like I Get they were only like that bc you can't make a real life goat sing and dance but they're just more interesting to look at than normal-looking animals who happen to talk!

-jeff goldblum's face being hidden every time he had a dance number...I have a sneaking suspicion that he wasn't really dancing lmfao

-whoever decided to bleach ariana's eyebrows deserves jail time

-when jonathan bailey first showed up on screen my mother leaned over to me and whispered 'he's HANDSOME...'

-when cynthia finished the 'wizard and I' I had to actually stop myself from applauding. it felt so weird and rude for there to be dead silence after that performance my GOD.

-also omg the part where she's singing about the wizard de-green-ifying her and the colors in the suncatchers were canceling out the green so she looked normal....inspired!

-madame morrible had these HUGE crystal ball looking rings and I just want them so much lmao

-glinda's friends were really funny the bit were she was like 'I need to lie down' and they immediately picked her up like a plank of wood and carried her off while the one was screaming 'WE NEED A PASTRY!!! IT'S AN EMERGENCY WE NEED A PASTRY!!!' had me cackling

-I wish there was more time between them moving in and 'what is this feeling' starting? like I wanted more time to see them bickering and then also more time seeing them getting along after the ball??

-'dancing through life' was BEAUTIFUL however two complaints 1) why would they cut the line 'what's the most swankified place around?' I Quote That Often and 2) at the end when glinda and elphie dance together like...it's beautiful and everything but from what I remember after their solo moment fieryo joins them?? and they have a cute three way dance moment??? and I'm very pro "they're all in love with each other" so I missed that lol

-also just in general would of liked to see more of fieryo with the girls! like it felt like ball->lion cub->emerald city, in the course of a couple days, and idk I just feel like they could have slowed it down a bit?? especially since they broke it into two movies?? like I don't think that Actually all happened in the span of a week, but they didn't do a good enough job establishing how much time was passing so it Felt like it. which is dumb bc then it just doesn't seem realistic that elphie and glinda are THAT attached to each other by defying gravity like it feels like not enough time has passed for them to really know each other

-boq felt very mild tbh I know ethan can be more unhinged than that

-would've liked to see glinda in magic class!!

-I was a little underwhelmed by elphaba's costumes? like there were clearly patterns on the material but it was all the same shade of black so you couldn't make anything out. it felt a bit flat. and I love the idea behind the freckles I agree with freckles I am pro freckles HOWEVER her's looked very obviously drawn on. like, I have seen way more realistic fake freckles before. so that was a bit annoying

-other than the lunchmeat dress glinda's costumes were good! especially loved the flower shaped one she wore to the ball

-the whole trying to escape in the hot air ballon scene was cool as hell but as the flaming remains of it fell to the ground I couldn't help but be like wow...she really just killed all those guards huh!

-also lmfao the bit in the woods with the lion club and fieryo has like a scratch on his temple. genuinely thought to myself 'is that his lobotomy scar' lmfao

-still trying to get over the part in dancing through life where people were dancing on the spinning gears in the clock tower...bitch

-the flying monkeys were correctly horrifying

-when I saw the broomstick I was like 'won't that be really uncomfortable between your legs' but then she just held it next to her like they do in the stage show and I was like....okay I guess you win that one? lmfao like I don't mind it for when she's hovering but when they had her like supersonic zooming on the broom it was weird that she wasn't actually riding it

-overall I just don't understand how it's an adaptation of act 1 but it's the length of the entire stage show?? lmao like I wish they took advantage of the split and added so much more but really really it was still just such a solid great movie. 5 stars. I can't keep talking about it right now I'm gonna start screaming.

[bsverryin]

: ̗̀➛ Sending genshin men the wrong message.

part 1

Who?

╰┈➤ Ayato, diluc , alhaitham

situation?

╰┈➤ you sent the wrong message to your boss which was supposed to be for your brother.

✎ this is an au (diluc still has the wine Business)!! Characters is your boss who likes you secretly. ⚠️ Use of cuss words... I'm trying my best to make them character like so be nice jk <3 they are just my genshin top 3 so I made this then I can also read it myself 😭 anyways enjoy <3 cannot assure you of perfect grammar !! I like to keep it simple

: ̗̀➛ AYATO

You accidentally sent those to Ayato, your boss because you kept thinking about him and how you hate his strict side. He doesn't smile and he always looks mad whenever you don't finish on time, it was his fault for giving you so much work. If there's a time where he's good to you it's the time when you finish all the work that he assigned for you to do fast. The next day after that, he'll assign you more and more and it gets annoying knowing you have to work overtime again.

You sent it accidentally because, you weren't focused enough. You are focused trying to guess the time what time you can come home. The first person on your chats list was always your brother so you just got used to it and clicked it without looking. Now you're standing there, in his office expecting him to scream and fire you after sending him such ridiculous messages.

"So..Y/N did I really assign you a ton of work?" It was the first thing he said before firing you, or that's what you thought.

You shook your head.

"No, sir. It's not that..it's just umm, my girl days are acting up I didn't mean those I'm sorry! It won't happen again. I promise."

It was a lie but you were desperate. You didn't want to lose this job because it would be too hard to find another.

"Girl days? You could simply tell me if I'm giving you too much work, I can work on that and I understand if you're tired, but you didn't have to-" He was cutted of by you apologizing to him.

"No it's not that! I'm really sorry. I apologize. I'll take the consequences of my reckless actions." You said as you bowed to him to show your sincerity.

You took the consequences of your actions, it was just your boss giving you work but your work gets easier and less time by time, you didn't understand why of course but people are gossiping about how your boss likes you which you didn't believe at first but he becomes more gentle and gentle to you. You fell for him and when you started dating him, you found out your boss likes you for so long and was actually hurt by the wrong messages you sent, but it's alright now because you kept kissing him and telling him how much you love him.

: ̗̀➛ DILUC

When you saw that reply from Diluc, your boss. You really tried to run away and hide yourself forever. You're using your phone while working? He'll probably scream at you and fire you. That's what you thought. The only reason why you sent that message to him instead of your brother was because you're WORKING. You had to focus on making a drink first while using your phone, it wasn't allowed when your boss was there and one day he just wasn't and you thought it's okay for you to do that.

That's why, it happened. You thought your job was over and you can't do anything about it. Just by thinking what your boss would do to you when you meet him the next day scares the shit of you, well you did compliment him so you hope he'll let it slide but at the same time you also said that it was a loss. You had to go to the tavern, sleepless who looks hopeless at the same time, now you're just standing in front of your boss, diluc while he's at his chair looking really fresh and cool.

"Care to explain?, Y/N" He said, he wasn't looking at you. He's doing his work while waiting for you to speak for yourself.

"I won't do it again, it's really wrong for me to speak bad things about you when you're the one who's helping me to earn money, I'm really sorry. Sir." You said as you bowed to him, when you tried to look at him, he looked confused and stressed by just what you said.

"I'm not talking about that, Y/N. I'm telling you to explain why were you using your phone while doing your work? It's forbidden, you know that right?" Now you felt more embarrassed than you did before. You apologized for speaking bad about him but not using your phone in the middle of your work.

"It was reckless behavior that I did, sir. I'm really sorry. I won't do it ever again. I will do everything I can to assure you that."

He didn't fire you and just told you to do your work, however you couldn't focus for months because of what you did. Diluc was the one who REALLY assured you that it's fine just don't do it again. He's straight up being sweet towards you. You didn't think about it at first but you completely fell in love with him. You may have told him that you loved him when you were drunk and magically out of nowhere, you both started dating after getting drunk that night.

: ̗̀➛ ALHAITHAM

Alhaitham was flabbergasted when you sent those messages and the fact that you didn't realize it because you're that BUSY typing was something else. You just didn't mind it and waited for your iced coffee that was paid by your brother patiently, I mean you always ask your brother to deliver coffee to you so he knows what to do so you just continued your work like nothing.

How did you realize it, you ask? It was when your iced coffee was delivered by your co-workers saying that it was for you, and when you're about to thank your brother through chats you realized your boss, alhaitham was the one you messaged to deliver you coffee. It was so embarrassing but you're thankful at the same time because your boss really did buy you COFFEE but still it was straight up embarrassing making your boss buy you a coffee, so when you finished typing the files that your boss assigned you to, you immediately went to his office, he was the one who started the conversation.

"How was the coffee, Y/N?" He asked while you hand him the files he asked for. He sounded sarcastic that you didn't know what to answer.

"It was a wrong sent message sir, I'm really sorry. I can pay you right now. I'm just really sorry." It was so embarrassing for you, that you couldn't even move your body, you looked at the floor the whole time not bothering to look at him.

"It's alright, you said it yourself. I should pay more respect to my employees especially you."

You avoided your boss after that talk. You'd go the other way around whenever you see him in the office and when you give him the files he needs, you'll immediately leave. You thought you were doing very well avoiding him but destiny had other plans. Whenever you're down and alone, you just see him. You see him everywhere you go, anywhere you lay your eyes too. He just can't be avoided whatever you do. He knows what you're doing he looks like he's unbothered but he's really bothered by you avoiding him all the time, like did he look that scary to you?

Well, he found a way to talk to you and tell you that it's okay it's not a big deal and when you had that talk with him everything felt better. You felt relieved and happy because you felt like you had a beef with your boss, Now whenever you hand him the files he needs, you stay for a little talk and it becomes a hobby for the both of you, he was cold and sweet but you realized he's all that you ever wanted. When you both started dating he may have given you a new office that's very close to his so that he can see and talk to you everyday and anytime he wants.

[achillesisnotcomingdown]

I have to restrain myself from thinking too much about Paris or else I get way too sad.

Imagine you're just a shepherd, some nobody,

And one day the gods offer you a choice. You know that in this very instant, you are the most important mortal in the world. It's a doom. You know there is no good answer, so you choose what feels the most human : love.

And then suddenly everything changes. You were a shepherd, now you are a prince. You were happy and satisfied taking care of cows and sleeping next to your wife, but now you are in a palace with another man's wife.

And then there is your brother. The eldest and greatest of all of Priam's sons. You admire him, everyone loves him. He hates you, everyone hates you. You don't blame them.

Only once you try to actually stand up for your city (duel against Menelaus), and even there you can't do anything. A god has to save you. You know everyone in your city wishes you would've died there. You can't blame them.

You didn't learn how to fight or lead an army. The best you can ever do is to shoot someone in the foot. To you it is awesome, it's the greatest you've done so far- but next to what anyone else has done since the beginning of this war, your "exploit" is ridiculous to celebrate.

I'm sorry but I just cannot hate him. I feel so bad for him. He never asked for any of that. He will forever be blamed for the choice he had no control over and no possible good answer to give.

(I KNOW he's not a poor little victim who must be protected. Ik he's annoying and a bad person- but so is everyone else. I don't think he's a worse person than most other characters (maybe more annoying yes but it's not his fault he's blond (/nsrs)

[kerryweaverlesbian]

Sooooo you know in s5 when Cas uses an angel banishing sigil that he carved into his own chest and becomes all sickly and pathetic about it? And you know in s1 when Dean gets electrocuted and becomes even MORE sickly and pathtic about it and wears a cute little hoodie? Well....

In my 10k word fic, In Case Of Emergency, they end up in the same hospital room. They hang out, they have deep conversations, they play I, Spy and they are sickly, pathetic, and obsessed with each other. Check it out!

Here are TWO snippets, I'm indulging myself. Serious:

"I think I'm getting better." "Yeah? Well that's...that's good." Dean realizes he doesn't know what's actually wrong with Cas. It's gotta be pretty serious, to land him in here. Hey, maybe if Sam does find his miracle cure, he can use it on Cas too. That'd be something. "It is good," Cas agrees, like it wasn't a totally stupid thing for Dean to say, "I have people who need me." "Lucky them." "You think so?" "Yeah dude, of course. Hey, maybe I'm a stranger so it don't mean much, but you seem like a stand up guy. Reliable, I guess. Kind." "That…means a great deal to me. Thank you, Dean."

Silly:

"I am putting my foot down, Cas. C cannot stand for ‘construct of’ anything. It has to be something you can see." "Your adjudication is arbitrary," Cas complains, huffy even though he's the one being unreasonable, "If C doesn't stand for construct of time, then X is not 'ex-tremely annoying son of a bitch'."

[gotouhitori]

Okay, so. I'm in Love with the Villainess. Watashi no Oshi wa Akuyaku Reijou. WataOshi. Whichever title you want to refer to it by.

Before reading or watching it, I wondered why the hell people were holding up this random villainess isekai light novel with an over-the-top masochist main character as a landmark yuri title. Okay sure I don't doubt there's yuri going on, but how can it be so special?

Then I watched the anime. "Huh. The series and its main character are clearly and unambiguously lesbian in a way that so many other series can't bring themselves to be. And it has the most frank discussion of queer issues I think I've ever seen in anime or related media. Yeah, I think I see now, it is a cut above." And both because I've heard the novels get into a few things a little more and because the series now has its hooks in me enough for me to want to read the novels anyway, I read the first novel. And yeah, that does add a bit.

And then I read the second novel. The latter bit of the anime does cover the first bit of the second novel, but it's mostly new territory for an anime-only or anime-first such as myself. And holy fucking shit. Spoilers under the cut.

For one thing, the anime/first novel dropped some trans hints about Yu, and that turns out to be a whole transfem allegory - which isn't unheard of by any means, but it's not especially common in a work where that isn't the main focus. And not only that, but there's an actually explicitly textual transmasc in Rae's past life, who forms part of Rae's motivation to make considerable effort and take considerable risk (up to and including treason) to make sure Yu can live as a girl - once Yu states that is what she wants, it is important to note. Random yuri villainess isekai light novel says trans rights, and will absolutely stand by it.

And then all of the stuff about class and inequality comes to a head, and remember how the game that Rae's in the world of is titled "Revolution"? Yeah. One of those happens. Various hints have been dropped about what happens, largely centred on Rae making efforts to save Claire's neck in the most literal way possible when things really go down. But holy shit does that turn out to be more effort and a much more complex endeavour than it appears at first... or for most of the time while it's going on, for that matter. Ultimately she arranges things so that while the revolution still happens (it is basically inevitable), overall loss of life and suffering is minimised, and the general situation is as good as it possibly could be. By the time the proverbial smoke clears, Rae and Claire are openly living as a couple, which is a lot more than you usually see - one of the things Rae comments on is how in per previous life, too much of the yuri she read ended with at least one of the girls either dead or winding up with a man, which annoyed her enough to write fanfic based on series she likes with unsatisfying endings to fix that. And though the game did have a yuri spinoff, the original - the events of which she was living through and manipulating - was het. The character she winds up with was never supposed to be a romanceable character to begin with.

And that's just the first two of the five novels. Living through and changing the course of an actual revolution and settling down with her partner is just 40% of the whole story. (And less if more novels get published.) I've just started the third novel, and it's certainly looking like the rest is going to be at least as much of a ride as the first two were.

This really is an outstanding series. It's Dungeon Meshi levels of "I cannot stop thinking about it" to me, which if you've seen how much I post about that, says a lot. And I haven't read even half of it yet.

[macandcheese-inhaler]

Completely random but like, my friend keeps telling me he ACTUALLY likes my existence and it’s so eye opening. Without realizing, I got stuck in the mindset of “He must think it's like a chore to interact with me.” I think it’s just my old habits (self confidence issues and lack of a sense of self) baring their teeth for the first time in a hot minute, but it’s so hard for me to grasp the concept of “Hey, this person you like, likes and respects you too!”

There used to be a prominent running joke throughout my friend group where they’d often call me annoying, act like they could barely stand me, and/or make fun of me for being too “child-like”. (Which, I do have the energy and interests of a child, but my personality led to them viewing me as incapable and it got old quick. Basically they were infantilizing me.) It’s been about 2½ years since then and it’s a little crazy to think about how I still expect everyone to treat me like that. I’ve been scared to form new friendships b/c of how much that time affected me. I mean, apparently I’m still not entirely healed from it.

But, I’ve been friends with this guy for almost a year now. He has never ONCE suggested that he didn’t like me. Yet I’m still over here trying to convince myself that this guy cannot stand me?? In fact, I recently found out that he REALLY wanted to make sure we’d stay friends once summer break started. (Before that point we only ever spoke to each other in one of our classes) That is INASE to me. Like, wdym you enjoyed my presence enough to ACTIVELY plan out how you’d make sure we frequently spoke to each other? And even CRAZIER he’s told me he OFTEN looked forward to talking to me at school last year and said that I helped him get through the day. Like, WHAT?

He’ll even send me good morning texts sometimes and it's so reassuring. They’re practically just (unintentional) reminders saying “Hey remember, I think you’re cool!” I hope he knows I appreciate him so much. It’ll take me a long time to ever admit, but I hope he knows he’s made my life feel like it’s worth living again. He’s made me realize I’ve been simply coasting and not LIVING for too long. I hope he knows whenever I’m in a bad mood I’ll actively go out of my way to be in his presence just a little longer, even if it’s just 20 extra seconds, just b/c he’s comforting. I hope he knows how much every gift he gives me means to me, no matter how much I struggle to accept them. I hope he knows he gave me the final push I needed to finally accept my sexuality. I hope he knows how happy I am when he lets me yap about whatever I feel like at the time. I hope he knows I feel like I'm actually listened to whenever I'm speaking to him. It feels like I can be myself around him and not have to worry. And I’m almost certain I’ve weirded him out on several occasions, but in the end that does not matter. Those moments don’t change how he sees me. And I hope he knows how much that genuinely means to me.

[the-bloody-sadist]

please I wanna hear more about your thoughts on sweet pool, it was such an odd vn to me but at the same time i'm so happy I played it

DUUUUUUDE!!!!!! THAT SHIT WAS SO WEIRD!!! (POSITIVE)

Lmfao so first of all, I'm a huge audiophile (and I say that to mean any audio, most of all voices and VA performances and sound design), and JESUS CHRIST THE CAST THEY GOT FOR SWEET POOL????? HELLO??? God, I adore Youji's VA, and I'll never NOT be impressed by his ability to play both the character for Sweet Pool as well as Doumeki in Saezuru wa Tori Habatakanai TO SUCH PINPOINT ACCURACY....

I'll ramble too much if I let myself. But the ART, the MUSIC, the ROUTE CHOICES, the PORTRAYAL OF CHRONIC DEPRESSION, the HALLUCINATIONS, the BODY HORROR...THE PSYCHOLOGICAL THRILLS!!!!!!!!! DAMN!!!!! It just had everything I hoped for, EXCEPT FOR LIKE ONE GOOD ENDING WITH TETSUO. CRIES EXPLOSIVELY. COULD I NOT JUST HAVE ONE. FOR HURT COMFORT'S SAKE.

It's been YEARS since I played that game but damn I was fucked up for weeks after finishing all the Tetsuo routes especially, and Sweet Pool I think was the only Nitro+Chiral game where I liked every character's route and enjoyed playing through them. Makoto a bit less so, but he made up for it in the end because WOW WHAT A BANGER on his bad route.

Again, it was my first Chiral game, so everything I played after was like "oh...this is just a copy of Makoto's type in a new setting. Oh....this is the same outcome as Zhenya with a new face. Oh...Chiral just really likes these tropes and uses them over and over again....okay." BUT HEY, I LIKE THOSE TROPES SO AT LEAST THAT.

I think my favorite part about SP though is, ironically, the fake omegaverse rep. Since I'm such a hater of A/B/O, you'd think I'd hate SP, but it's actually exactly what I'd want instead of the real omegaverse stuff I see. Please miss me with that shit on slick and pregnancy and alpha scenting, I want blood and freaky organisms living in your stomach like parasites and hallucinogens from the weird stalker guy at school. IF ONLY ALL OMEGAVERSE WAS PSYCHOLOGICAL HORROR! AH....SO SAD.

Anyway, Zhenya had my favorite route at the time I played it (I cannot escape the kidnapping trope...Shiki from TnC was why I played TnC and he's my favorite Chiral character aside from Youji....), but looking back, I think all of Tetsuo's are my favorite, now. Once I got over the crippling depression of how sad all the endings were, I remembered how fucking intriguing Tetsuo's character was to me. I really like the types that are freakishly alien with their emotional expression and you never know if they're trying to hurt the MC or harm him until several layers into the story. And even then, you still don't know, because they just come off as creeps either way. It's terrifying.

I think the only element I didn't like was the fact that made the meat babies and whatever ACTUALLY REAL. I didn't want the supernatural shit or the annoying ass priest or whatever he was (I wasn't listening to DOUKA....DOUKA!!! every scene) confirming the reality of what was going on with Youji, I just wanted the psychological insanity and for Youji to actually be experiencing all this because of mental illness. I just hate supernatural or religious shit in my horror, though, so that's my own pickiness.

ANYWAY. OTHER THAN THAT! Sweet Pool will always stand out for me because it was my first, and it truly disturbed me because I didn't know people could make VNs that catered to exactly what I wanted, and at the time I was a baby to yaoi, so imagine my surprise when I discovered there was a whole world of people making the exact content I thought only I wanted to see.

THERE, WAS THAT ENOUGH OF MY THOUGHTS FOR YOU??? YOU'LL NEVER WANT TO HEAR FROM ME AGAIN!!!

[saiikavon]

You know what it is about Solas, that makes him simultaneously my favorite character and also just so annoying to me because I think I've got it

I consider myself a curious person, wanting to learn all I can and surround myself with people who are also curious and love to learn. And I think, when you are a curious person, you can really open yourself up to lots of different perspectives and experiences

BUT

When you are a person who Learns, you also run the risk, I think, of becoming attached to your own intellect and the things you have learned. You can become as obsessed with the Knowing as you are with the Learning, and when you do that...you can easily convince yourself that you know more and are wiser than pople who may not share your inherent curiosity

Which is a long-winded way of saying that sometimes very learned and experienced people can become pompous, know-it-all assholes

Solas, I believe, has convinced himself that what he knows and what he has learned is worlds above what other people know, and the frustrating thing is, he sort of does. He has truths that people have long forgotten, histories that he witnessed first hand that have become twisted over time. Furthermore, he has presumably had time to reflect on all he's done and all that came of his actions, so he can operate based on information only HE has

I know people like this. I have fallen victim to it myself at times. Thinking that the act of reflection itself means you will ultimately come to the best overall conclusion, since you are, indeed, giving something its due consideration before acting, where others would jump in without thinking at all or gaining all the information. The problem is that just thinking things over does not automatically make one correct. You may have taken every new point of information without checking your biases, or with even an unconcious interest in confirming them. You may let a specific emotion guide your research. You may forget to actually listen to what's been told to you or to consider the feelings of those around you - the facts may not care about feelings, but feelings can and do shape certain facts.

Solas' folly is that he has lived through so much and ultimately applies all of that experience to things he learns about the new world without actually considering the people who live in it. Oh, he wants to save them, this lost flock, as he did the slaves bound by the Evanuris. He thinks that because they do not know better, he must decide for them what to do.

What I adore about him is this compassion, this curiosity, the way he paints his picture of history. The way he feels for his people and the way he learns about the world.

What I cannot stand is how he holds this learning over everyone's head, even people he claims to respect. It drives me absolutely bananas when I see someone I genuinely love spend so much time talking themselves into a corner that they now think anyone who presents a new perspective must automatically be wrong. I hate when I catch myself doing it. I understand the burning need to defend the position I've spent so long cultivating because someone has tried to tell me I'm wrong.

You can't argue with a person like this in one debate. They've already argued with themselves and, intentionally or not, developed a counterpoint for each and every point you can make against their stance. Even if they convince themselves they don't want to go down this path...well, they've thought about it for so long, they now feel they have no other choice.

I adore Solas. I hope, hope, HOPE, that in Veilguard, we can give him an argument he will finally consider. I hope we can tell him he's being a stubborn fucking dipshit and he will listen. I hope we can provide him a new way to learn and that he will try to move on. I hope he will leave his past to rest and try to make reparations to those that live in the present.

I hope my Inquistor Wren Lavellan can go to him, smile as she kisses him and calls him a fool, then take his hand and find home.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for insulting my best friend, and attacking her boyfriend? I (21 X) was best friends T (21 F). We met in high school and I really clicked with her, and we've been living together since we were both eighteen. Anyway. We do volunteer work together. It's mostly stuff like cleaning trash, distrubting food to the homeless, etc. Not super glamarous. During one of our projects, T met and started dating this new guy, A (24 M). I cannot stand A. He's really unpleasant towards me, and i feel like he's taking advantage of T. He's makes unfunny 'jokes' about my mental health. This was annoying, but w/e.

However over the last month he's been constantly disrespecting our volunteer work, and really laying into me. I've been arrested before for shoplifting, and A hangs it above my head. He often makes comments about i'm a bad influence on her, and that i'll get her arrested by proxy. [Sometimes we do kinda illegal things. But its strictly relegated to stuff like removing bars from benches and shit. Not hurting anyone] Recently T has started to become distant from me, and i think she believes what he's been saying. She's stopped volunteering with me, and barely lives in our shared apartment, staying around exclusivley with her boyfriend.

Anyway this came to ahead when A and T actually came to the apartment to grab somethings. I tried at first to ask T what was up, and why she was acting like that to me. Why she quit volunteering. She kept dodging the question. So i lost my temper and started yelling at her, about how she was a shitty friend and completely ghosted me over A, who was a complete dick. Mind you this has been going on for a month. A then decided i was being too aggresive [i was yelling at most. Both of them are at least a foot taller than me, and i am maybe 100 lbs. I was not a threat] and he tried to restrain me. This set me off, so i defended myself. Again, i did not have the phyical advantage, and was panicking really badly, so i started doing shit like biting him to get free [i'm not proud of that].

we eventually broke apart. T got A to agree to not press charges, but she layed into me about how i was a shitty person, and that A had made her realise how toxic i was. that i used good causes to justify continuing to break the law for fun, and that i probably had a personality disorder. she said she didn't hate me, but she'd only mend things if i changed. Then she left with A. its been a week and we havent talked

i kinda feel like i could be ta, due to the assault, but also being invasive towards T. i do have issues when it comes to paranoia, and there is a chance it was normal levels of people changing, and i just overblew it and turned it into the mess. but on the other hand, i still feel justified due to how A started things first, and T, despite being such a long term friend, completely ignored me and backstabbed me. So aita?

What are these acronyms?