#i'm a minority and i'm queer and i'm tired.

[the-everqueen]

so tempted to just quit doing applications for postdocs and higher ed jobs and instead find some kind of quiet desk or office work i could do near the gf. i can be so productive about audits and data sheets. please just let me have dental.

[9x07]

how many times do we need to learn as people that irony and hyperbole can be harmful because 'jokes' aren't easily distinguished from genuine thoughts and feelings until we stop rewarding people for speaking or posting about violence

like even if you're joking/don't actually believe that/think whoever you are insulting is bad/immoral/fictional therefore deserves it - ad hominem attacks always do more harm to the people who share those characteristic then the individual you intend to cause harm to or discredit

[andresmounts2]

Unfriendly reminder that transphobes are NOT welcome on any of my accounts. I don't care what you call yourself, YOU. ARE. NOT. WELCOME. HERE.

[thediamondarcher]

I wish for a world in which other people's identities aren't anyone's fetish

[scattered-winter]

I love my shows but if I see one more piece of queer media say "sex is what makes us human" then I just might turn into the joker

[nerice]

thesis progress report -introduction (passable) -theory queer definitions (rough draft) -theory queer narrative (rough draft) -theory cartoons/anime (rough draft) -analysis binaries (fix the framing) -analysis magigirls (add quotes) -analysis hero sacrifice (add quotes) -analysis [evangelion joke] (rough draft) -conclusion (sure) -bibliography (doing this last dw abt it)

[soup-mother]

the endless hyperfixation on "x group has always been part of our community" "so and so have always been here" in queer circles instead of any fucking microgram of self reflection of "how has our community historically treated x group?" "does x group feel welcome in our community?" drives me fucking nuts.

you can't just fucking say "trans women have always been part of the lesbian community s" whev whether or not we're all secretly pervert rapist men has been one of the major fucking splitting points in the (frankly horrifyingly US centric) lesbian community.

it's just demonstrably not true, you have to actually fucking admit to that history you can't just sweep everything under the rug and reblog a pic of marsha p Johnson and go "see? there's never been any transmisogyny here". like hell, using trans women as a token minority within the queer community is such a classic bit of transmisogyny like fucking christ.

why are you so desperate to fabricate history and appeal to some mythical past instead of just actually fucking doing anything now? because so many fucking people just blatantly do not give a shit about us unless one of us has been killed, or there's another callout going around. we are so blatantly NOT welcome in SO many spaces INCLUDING trans spaces and people just fucking refuse to acknowledge that or bombard anyone talking about it with "wow I'm so sorry this happened to you as an isolated incident, dm me if you need to vent". (WOW transmisogyny looks like misogyny, SHOCKING!)

that instinctive run for cover of historical legitimacy is tiring and pathetic, noone's surprised of course but it feels like it needs to be branded into some people's grey matter that you actually need to do more to combat transmisogyny than just gaslight trannies with stonewall photos. fuck.

[a-very-tired-jew]

One of the worst parts of planning a wedding after October is asking "which of our potential guests is normal about Jews?" Having to literally sleuth through social medias is disheartening.

We've already written off about 20 people, one of which used to be a meta and was potential bf for my partner. To see someone you cared for and could have had a relationship with just openly call for the death of your people is gut wrenching. A lot of people don't actually know I'm Jewish because I'm secular and so is my partner. In every instance of removing someone from our lives we get a message asking why. We lay out all of the antisemitism that they expressed over the course of these months and in every. single. instance. we've gotten some version of "well I respect your opinion, but I disagree". These are Left queer progressive types who have openly stated over and over again that if you are not part of that minority group you do not get to tell them what is and isn't offensive. So yeah, it's not just online discourse Lefties or campus protesters. It's people you may know on a personal level and have many, many memories with. They've sacrificed everything they stood for because of antisemitism and hatred. I'm so very tired.

[cybertron-after-dark]

I was gonna ask a question but i honestly forgot it 😅 so just tell me something you want to rant about

If you do happen to remember what you were gonna ask feel free to do so, do not worry about spamming my inbox bc I live for that shit.

As for the rant

Transformers Rescue Bots had some of the best, kindest, and most respectful representation of neurodivergence I have ever seen in media and I'm tired of pretending it didn't.

While there are obvious complaints to be made about neurodivergent traits (especially autistic traits) usually being portrayed in media by inhuman characters like aliens or robots, this being a case of both, I feel like thats a pretty negligible sin given just how human the show makes the robots feel. (Also it was like 2011 and we were STRUGGLING for any scraps of rep anyway)

But like. The behaviors all these robots exhibit are all shit that I do that was always deemed unacceptable when I was a kid and seeing it portrayed with the level of kindness and gentleness they do in that show has me fuckin crying a little man. I wish I had actually watched it when I was younger and it was first airing because maybe if I did I would've had an easier time explaining what the hell was going on with my brain a LOT sooner.

Blades being anxious, overly sensitive, and WHOLEHEARTEDLY queer (which they had the absolute unparalleled balls to just casually confirm by having him swoon over "hunky vampires" in one episode and NOBODY commented on it. Fucking iconic) and getting so so deeply invested in the shows and movies he loves that he acts out the roles with enough passion to steel his nerves and completely flourish.

Boulder getting really confused at concepts that are basic and intuitive for most people, but still being so fucking intelligent, and never being made to feel stupid for the mix-ups, as well as just being so wholely, unabashedly in love with the planet he's found himself on, even if he doesn't understand all of it (Also apologizing to inanimate objects when he knocks them over 😭)

Chase being obsessed with rules and law because he NEEDS the structure to not fall apart at the seams, even feeling the need to fabricate a minor crime to justify using the emergency line to get a hold of the firehouse when he can't find the other bots. As well as just fully not understanding comedy (BUT TRYING HIS DAMNEDEST), taking things super literally, and having a lot of trouble with tone and expressions (even though you know just how deeply he feels All The Time).

Heatwave being desperate for attention and recognition, but completely allergic to asking for it. And honestly allergic to showing any genuine emotional responses other than aggression. The constant sarcasm and sass and defensiveness that he POORLY maintains because everyone knows that underneath that tough guy front is the loneliest robot on earth that wants to be loved SO bad but would rather jump into unicron's mouth than voice it because if he lets his guard down who knows what will happen to him or the people he cares about.

Just. All of it man. Seeing them exhibiting all these behaviors and quirks that all too often get met with poor reactions from people who don't want to deal with what they don't really get, but here they're met with patience and understanding?? It's got me fucked up. They get to be functional adults that struggle with what they have going on but still push through. They get to have unconditionally loving relationships with people that treat them with respect. And that's the kind of shit that gives me a lot of hope for folks like me because maybe some neurotypical kids that watched it picked up on what's helpful when their friend who acts like one of the bots is going through it. And maybe some neurodivergent kids watched it too and for the first time they just felt SEEN.

Okay rant over, I'm gonna go cry over some plastic robots 👍

[kiskutnya]

Pride month - a comic about biphobia (especially in queer spaces)

I have a lot more I could've added, but I'm tired and just wanted to get my main thoughts out.

This is one of the first years I've experienced pride while being openly bisexual. I've noticed biphobia throughout the years, but dismissed it as just being a minority. It was easier to brush of since I didn't identify as bi, failing to realize these comments were why I didn't. Now that I do (albeit not very openly for... every reason stated above), it's so much more potent, especially since I started interacting with fandom spaces more. On top of the blatant misogyny, it bewilders me how nobody calls any of this out. It's exhausting. It often feels like bisexuals are the only people that have each other's backs, because whenever lesbians, gay men, etc. do defend us, they end up getting harassed by people in their own community.

Regardless, I hope you got something out of this, whatever that may be. Take care of yourselves, everyone TwT

[postersofleon]

Wrong Chocolates

notes: sorry for taking too long. anyways: "rivials' to lovers with a fem!reader. ada is just being ada wong. smut, probably ooc ada and not completely realistic. public sex, no minors

- requested

All the hotel rooms could hear was angry women fighting with muted heels clicking in the carpeted ground. Some people wanted to see why, but curious will kill the cat once they realize how dangerous it is to listen to this conversation. Two mercenaries with different looks of the world were discussing a plan. This plan led them to be invited into a party thanks to your fault.

Ada wanted this to be the most simple thing ever, but you... you!

She rubbed her eyelids not caring of her makeup anymore. "I told you stay back." Ada swallowed her anger. She didn't need an audience to wake up even more. You fought the urge to roll your eyes. You hated being scolded when a guy was being too gross around Ada. 

"He was," You sighed deeply, "Horrible. He wanted to kiss you." Besides, the bodyguard had been drinking so much he might have hurt Ada. The main difference between you and Ada were forming little by little. You weren't a field agent like Ada. Sometimes you could barely stand in your two feet when you tripped inside the hotel. 

Ada sighed, "Kissing sometimes is part of the job. To convince the idiot." She was tired of how you constantly wanted to protect her. You wouldn't even last a day with Wesker. 

"Well, don't kiss an idiot." You replied with a very Duh expression. 

An very tired sigh escaped Ada's lips, she took off her heels and went to her room ready to ignore all your words. "Ada!" You stomped forward. "Ada." Ada rolled her eyes. She was willing to let you sleep outside. She shut the door on your face and went to sleep; Ada sat on the queen bed boredly, trying to figure out the mess and how to clean it up. You and Ada had been mistaken for a queer couple because you trying to defend her.

That's the least thing she wanted from you, but now Ada needed to commit to you. She grabbed the hotel room's phone and sighed, "Can I get sex chocolates?" Ada had another plan now hoping you wouldn't ruin it again.

The next day, Ada found you in the restaurant eating breakfast with a couple. Ada's brow tilted, she slowly approached you and the pair in the attempts of hearing what you were speaking about. But the pair stopped. They gave you a thumbs up before leaving you and Ada only. 

"What was that about?" Ada asked. 

"We woke them from our fight, they decided to invite me to sleep in their room when you locked me out." You forced a smile to her. But you decided not to test your luck with her, you let out an exhale, "So, I'm guessing you have a plan." Your fingers gently touched the silverware before fully committing to grab them to eat your breakfast. 

Ada nodded her head, "Yes," She nodded her head, "I decided it's not the end of the world for you to place us in a party." Especially when the the party was in a club. Ada leaned closer, her knees touched your knees, "Considering that our target barely let's go of the floppy disk, I'm sure she'll have it with her." You wanted to doubt that someone will bring something important in a club, and Ada looked so determined that all you had to say was. "Okay." Ada was like a cute chipmunks with her cheeks puffed up. 

She finally smiled at you. "Good." She stole your drink before heading somewhere else. You let out a small groan, your hand rubbed your forehead. "Can I get another one?" You asked your server. You knew why you were here giving support to Ada, but... you wished you weren't doing this. 

"Happy New Year, ma'am." The waiter smiled.

"To 1999." You muttered. You needed 1998 to finish quick.

When you were done with your breakfast, you went upstairs to your hotel room you shared with Ada. Almost immediately, you hurried to take a shower and wash your teeth. You heard the door open, "Ada?" You left the room and saw Ada indeed standing there. She had two plastic bags with a red dress and the other was black dress, "Good thing you took a shower." She sat on the bed, "Here's your dress." It was a typical satin cocktail dress with small ruffles for texture. Ada always adored to dress in fancy dresses when the event was unknown complain or in a fancy situation. 

"How our company has enough money for your clothes is amazing." You whispered softly. Ada wouldn't dare actually wearing her actual clothes in real missions especially with missions that deal with blood. And writing clothes for taxes wouldn't count (As if Ada paid for taxes).

Ada laughed softly. "I got my ways." She handed you a sticky bra, "Can't wear a normal one with the dress." For the first time, there's peace between you and Ada, and even Ada noticed. You knew Ada was beautiful. There's no denial for you to say otherwise, but you couldn't deny either that she was a pain of an ass. Unnecessarily cold. She was a mercenary yet most of her employers were bad people. The worst that you couldn't imagine.

She was the worst yet you couldn't hate her. You knew... why she was like this. Nobody out of the blue decides to become a mercenary.

But peaceful moments are always interrupted by something stupid, mean or both. The hotel room was knocked by, it was room service and once again. It was too much for any random person looking by, the tense was tight and close. 

It didn't look like two friends enjoying time together. 

Room service awkwardly placed the chocolates on the bed and left you alone. 

"Get dress." She whispered.

"Yes, ma'am."

Ada went to the bathroom to shower herself as well. So, the mission wasn't clear yet, but you had to understand before anything else. You dried your body up and put on the dress, it was perfectly tight around your body. No tights. No stockings. Just heels and the dress. You sat on the bed waiting now for Ada to come out, you grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. Empty channels with nothing. How dull.

As you flicked through the channels, Ada finally came out with her bra and panties without shame. "It's a Thursday, why isn't there anything in TV?" You turned to see Ada in disbelief, "I have seen this damn strange commercial for Mr Clean like three times. At least MTV, is interesting." 

Ada put on her black tights, "Well, it's the Christmas season, you know how people are." Soon her red dress. "Zip me." Ada told you. You stood up and zipped up her dress. "You have the strangest scars, Ada." Your finger traced her back, her skin was always so smooth.

"But there aren't visible." Ada muttered back.

"They'll be later. You have seen the people in our work." You whispered. Ada grabbed the chocolates and dumped them in her bag, "Yeah, well, maybe in seven years," Ada looked at you, "Let's go to the damn club." 

The pair of girls began to walk towards the end of the hall. Tolerating the cold for like twenty minutes and entered the taxi. Ada fixed her dress a bit. The city lights reflected in her face, the details of Ada will definitely kill you.

When you two finally arrived at the club, Ada looked at you, "Don't mess it up." Ada's daily reminder of not screwing up. "So, you'll be alone?" You asked softly.

"Of course," Ada entered and like always swayed her hips back and forth, "Be a good girl." Ada only spoke to you in that degrading manner in front of people. You mocked her immediately when she turned her back. 

But Ada lost a fight today. You stole one of her chocolates; without a doubt, you opened the wrap and ate the chocolate. 

In the club, people had those cliché 1999 glasses as they drunk their souls away. Ada looked around and found the target. All of Ada's movements were planned. A gentle step here and another there, and she perked up her breasts. The target was an idiot. 

Those were her favorites.

Especially the jealous ones. The target was a fan of Ada's body. Ada smiled, "Hi." She put her hands on her hips once she saw her target in a close way. The flashing lights of green and blue were making her shine. The target smiled, "Hi." She answered back.

The target chewed on her lip, she rubbed her legs, "Your girlfriend isn't here?" Ada barely opened her mouth, but nothing came out when she felt your arms on her waist. The target groaned.

Ada turned to see you, your cheeks were flushed, "Um," Ada spoke your name softly, "Are you okay?" Ada checked on your face and they felt warm. She completely gave you her attention, she cupped your face and forced you took at you.

You felt so damn horrible. Your heart was beating so fast, blood was flushing all over your body. You were barely separated by Ada for twenty minutes, and you felt so... uneasy. "C-can you take me back to the hotel?" You begged weakly. 

Your thighs clenched up. All the blood in your body was focused on your pussy and your breasts. You though refused to use those words especially in front of the target. Ada nodded her head, "Yeah, sure," Ada put her hand on your waist and slowly dragged you away, "What did you eat?" Ada whispered softly. 

"I stole one of the chocolates from your bag." You admitted.

Damn you.

Ada sighed. Another plan of hers ruined because of your... dumbself. Ada dragged you out of the club, "Barely, barely a second in and you messed it." Ada hissed softly. 

You just felt turned on by her scolding. "Yeah, I know. I suck." You muttered.

Ada stopped a taxi. She didn't want to leave you alone in this state of mind. Your fingers were holding Ada's hips. "They'll last about three hours." Ada gently put you inside the taxi. It was a small wave throughout your body, it was focused on your nipples. You wanted to calm down. You needed to calm down. 

"Three?" You asked softly. Ada nodded her head, she entered inside with you and closed the door. Ada felt your warm body, the small trembles as your hands rubbed your thighs. Ada grabbed your hands to stop you. "No." 

This felt like a goddammit ovulation. Your pussy... you could feel it pulse. Your clit needed the simulation to get rid of this feeling. You rested your head on Ada's shoulder, "W-why didn't you tell me?" You asked weakly. If Ada just told her that they were sex chocolates, you wouldn't have touched it. Ada rolled her eyes, "I... I wasn't suppose to just tell you everything I do." 

But Ada knew you were right. Ada had worked alone for so long that she accidentally shot her own partner in foot. 

You two arrived back to the hotel. You were hold Ada, holding and loving her warmth, but never push your luck. It was a harsh difference from yesterday's fight. You two entered the elevator, your grabbed the bar and kept your legs open. You took in deep breaths over and over.

Ada wrapped her arms around your waist, "Listen, I may be a bitch," Her hands traced your thighs gently, "But it's my fault you are like this." That sounded good enough to convince herself as her fingers slowly raised your dress. 

Your thighs had goosebumps from the cold and from her simple finger moving up. All the shame you had was disappearing, it's was what you wanted. Ada's fingers slowly pushed away your panties and found your wetness. Her middle finger entered, her thumb was gently rubbing your clit. 

"Fuck," You grabbed more of the bar as that small gasp of a simple curse escaped, "Ada..." A pathetic whine. Ada's left hand rubbed your hips gently, "I know. I'm sorry." She kissed your neck. Her finger began to flick inside of you, her thumb and all of her remaining fingers were getting all your wetness. Your nipples felt so sensitive, so sore and needy to be touched. You couldn't complain about Ada. Her finger was fucking your pretty cunt as her thumb rubbed your clit.

Ada's hand grabbed your tits and squeezed them nice and good. Her breathing was increasing little by little. "You barely listen to me and you actually put on that sticky bra." Ada's hands lowered to your stomach to grab you properly. 

Her slender fingers forced themselves shoved inside of you. Her index and her middle were now being pumped over and over. The overwhelming smell of sex was stuffing this poor elevator and anyone who came back could tell. 

Your dumb mind was so happy that she had short nails, but it was obvious why she kept them short.

Ada was enjoying the show as well. Your dumb hips were attempting to keep still, but those small trembles. She smirked. Her fingers removed themselves from your cunt and rubbed around your needy clit. A high pitched whine escaped your mouth, "Ada..." It even trailed off a bit. How fun. Ada sucked her fingers.

"Turn to see me." Ada muttered in a low tone. 

You turned around. Your cheeks were warm, "Okay." Ada's fingers caressed your lips for a bit until she got into her knees. Her hands slid down your body until they grabbed your hips. Ada licked your wetness directly from you with long lick. Her nose pressed against your clit as she made out with your lips. 

You couldn't take it anymore. "Ada, fuck." Your hands grabbed her black hair and force her closer. Ada's fingertip grabbed your thighs tightly as she gave your cunt those teasing licks and sucks. Her warm tongue licked up all your messes, licking your folds over and over until it shoved itself inside your cunt. Your cunt immediately clench around it, but you weren't ready to cum. But it didn't matter when you came.

The elevator finally dinged at your level. Ada stood up and grabbed your hand tightly. Everything was happening to fast and quick when she opened the door. Ada finally kissed your lips, she wasn't as patient with your mouth as she was down in her knees. She slowly and carefully pushed your legs to walk backwards until you were on your back. She slide her own dress up and grinded her pussy against yours. This was cursed. Her tights and your panties were avoiding any proper touch.

Three hours of this. 

All because you ate the wrong chocolate.

[transhuman-priestess]

The single worst aspect of "good rep/bad rep" as a method of media criticism is that it's perfectly tailored to dovetail with the popular conception of "death of the author" in the absolute worst way.

A trans woman villain written by a trans woman is no longer a way of the author exploring morality and the human condition through a familiar lens, it's "bad rep" and therefore can be discarded out-of-hand without any critical examination.

Meanwhile, a trans woman written by a cis person, who is ancillary to the plot, but without agency, such as a shopkeeper or a bystander, can be considered "good rep" simply by not doing anything. If "representation" is all that matters, then the most moral inclusion of a marginalized identity is one in which that character functions, not as an actual character, but as a prop, an object that exists solely to make the author and the audience feel better about the story being told.

I don't want to write stories with cishet villains and vaguely trans minor characters. I want to write stories about queer people. I don't write every character with the intention of them being trans, but every character I write could be, and when that is the baseline for a story, sometimes characters who are part of my in-group are going to do things which are morally repugnant.

I get it, it's uncomfortable to think of your in-group as containing anything other than "good people", but the world isn't cleanly separated into the morally pure marginalized blorbos and the evil 100% privileged evildoers. But I'm just so tired of every queer character having to be a paragon of pure incorruptible pureness. It's boring, and worse, it's a terrible way to tell a story.

[happypotato48]

Wandee Goodday EP 1 Unhinged Tangent Thoughts

God damn it Viu why no sub. i need that thing for making this kind of post better. help a nong out here, i'm too lazy to transelate and making cringy jokes at the same time.

Here we go! first episode of the horny boxer-doctor Sexy BL. could Yor-Yak's BIG Dick save our cringe fail Doctor Wandee from life of sexual repression? of course its can, BL dicks are magic like that!

Get it? wandee mean good day, horny double meaning message, me likey.

Ace rep woo woo! also how dare you besmirch ตาคิ้วหนา drake's eyebrows like that. those eyebrows are thai national treasure. it's the sexiest human features that ever grace us on thai television. is this why he haven't been cast as a lead in ages cause if that is the case then i'm willing to commit light ar$on at gmmtv hq for eyebr... i mean drake.

Ok that's good. they made being a doctor something relevant in the show. cause book wandee definitely seem like he doesn't care about being a doctor at all.

Cher can you teach me your game, เค้าอยากได้ผัวแบบนี้อ่าาาา.

Oh, Okay i get it, if someone this pretty did this to me i'd probably followed him around like lost puppy for 8 years too.

That's hot. god i really want a man who looks like they could beat me up.

YES! more eyebrowns fanservice. thank you show.

"Oh queer yoda bless us with your elder queer wisdom, us dumb twinks are too dumb and too horny to survived in this harsh society."

Money over dick, my kind of girl, loved her already.

Boy you didn't listen to a word he says, you're such a embarrassment for our people. thank fucking gay god i'm tired of perfect homos in BL already. let them be cringe let them be dumb and let them be failure of a human being, This is the representation i want!

Kao is the best of boy. he didn't even tried to stop his friend from embarrassing himself and even joined in the debasement. this is a friendship that would last a life time.

"whatta man whatta man whatta mighty good man"

Yas boy work it! and by work it i mean you need to work on your seduction face, cause idk wtf is going on here but i never been so turn off by a pretty face like this my entire life.

This is a face of a man who had seens all kind of crazy shits from life time of working night shift in a convenient store. i laughed so hard that he didn't faze at all by the whole situation 🤣

Thank you show for putting this man where he belongs. cause someone else's trash is someone's treasure and Yak is about to pick up the best trashsure he'll ever have.

Is this real do people get cramp when they have sex??? god i really need to sex ed myself. ข่วยไม่ได้นิเค้ายังจิ้นอยู่นี้นา >.>

Fine! i'll watch the eclipse.

This show is indeed Zab. i liked that the show fleshed out a lot of minor characters in the book cause Taemrak and Pakao characterization in the book was non existent. i also liked that they changed yak and dee first impression of each other to be more antagonistic. it like putting on a little spice in their dynamic, and i can't wait for more heat from the show.

[puppiekit]

I think the funniest thing ever to me is seeing people on tumblr preach "transandrophobia bad" but then you look at the transandrophobia tag and its basically just "transmascs are not cis, do not have cis privileges, and still face oppression / societal discrimination" and "I have personally faced (X) and (Y) issue because of my tansmasc identity"

.... Aka literally no different from any other minority on planet earth talking about their issues.

But for some reason people on tumblr want to tell you acknowledging this issue specifically, and putting a name to it, is not only bad (because for some reason acknowledging that transmascs have issues = claiming cis men are oppressed...? Because idk people feel the need to make shit up);

but actively harmful to transfems (And I'm going to be blunt here: acting like transfems are the only ones who have problems, or are the only ones allowed to talk about their problems, is so incredibly horrible it's actually insane. And quiet frankly very infantilizing).

To be quiet frank it only boils down to the communities continuous hatred for masculinity. Nobody wants to admit the fact that their community will never be a truly safe space before they stop labeling people "good" or "bad" dependent on who they are or how they chose to identify. It's harmful when cis people do it, and it's equally as harmful when queers do it.

And don't even get me started on the fact that a large part of this pointless beef is rooted in the communities refusal to acknowledge intersectionality (aka a bunch of white people unable to grasp the fact that they are not the default and peoples race can play a part in their gender, how it is perceived, and how it effects their oppression... Including masculinity).

I know this is going to piss a bunch of people off but to be entirely honest I was raised a woman for 18+ years, and I still socially pass for a woman NOW, and the shit I get in my day to day life does not even compare to the amount of hostility I face FROM MY OWN COMMUNITY as a transmasc.

At least a random person on the street will be blatant about their hatred for me, trans or not. The people in this community will instead manipulate and gaslight and try to convince you their crap treatment towards transmascs is "a good thing" or "good allyship". No, hating others for identifying a way you don't like and and "betraying their womanhood" does not make you a good ally to anybody, and especially transfems -- in fact, I'd say you're kind of throwing them under the bus by using them as an excuse to be a terrible person.

Whatever... Ignore my rant... I'm tired of people being terrible to eachother. And also it super pissed me off as a POC to see people compare talking about the problems transmascs face to "what if white people claimed they were being discriminated against for being white?!?!?!" as if that is anywhere near the same..... Like are you a legitimate dumbass or what? Why the hell do you people always use POC and their experiences as leverage against others.

How are you going to compare a TRANS person talking about their unique experiences with TRANSPHOBIA to a person at a societal advantage falsely claiming to be oppressed??? POC are only worth considering when you can use our issues to your benefit I guess

WHATEVER.....

[ugh-yoongi]

she, by proxy | myg, kth

(or, the one where yoongi gets what yoongi wants, even when what he wants is taehyung. especially when it's taehyung.)

✤ pairing: yoongi x reader; taehyung x reader; yoongi x taehyung ✤ genre: est. relationship (yoongi x reader), pwp ✤ rating: explicit; minors dni ✤ warnings: a lot of swearing, drinking but no one's drunk, a friend group in which everyone is queer and has fucked at least once probably, taehyung is a messy hoe but yoongi's an entire disaster, pining, open relationships, polyamory that is discussed briefly, i have been told there are some feelings involved. the most important: there is gay stuff in here!!! i repeat, some of this is VERY GAY! please do not read if that isn't your thing! ✤ smut warnings: girls making out, a threesome, dudes kissing, oral sex (m. receiving), anal fingering, vaginal fingering, taegi get pegged, dirty talk, dudes touching themselves a lot, come as lube (but there's also real lube dw), come eating, voyeurism, a lil slapping (thighs/clit), the dom/sub dynamics shift throughout the fic but mainly dom!reader, very mild degradation, a lil begging, taehyung cries, fingers always seem to wind up in mouths, hair pulling, frottage, yoongi accidentally gets edged, praise, protected sex, dp (fingers & piv at the same time). i think that's it :') but let me know if i forgot anything. ✤ word count: 8.3k ✤ credits: thank you to @effortandmore / @the-boy-meets-evil / & @here2bbtstrash for beta'ing this for me. my personal porny fairy godparents. i appreciate you all a whole lot. ✤ author's note: can you believe my degenerate brain dreamed this up and then i wrote all of it in two days in a delirious haze, opened the doc this morning to make final edits, and added almost 2k more. idk who i am anymore. if i missed anything it's bc i finished & edited this during jk's live and i was distracted, to say the least. anyway this is embarrassing i feel like a prude so i'm gonna go hide. pls come scream in my inbox with me unless it's to yell tired shit at me abt writing mxm/pegging/whatever else i warned you this is gay.

You hadn’t been surprised the first time, and you’re not surprised now, countless times later.

A girl slides into Taehyung’s lap—long hair, bubblegum pink, almost certainly a wig—and his hands immediately go to the small of her back. Large, nearly swallow her up, and they move to rest possessively at her hips, his grip tight as he pulls her closer. Her top is cropped latex and leaves very little to the imagination, which isn’t an issue for you or Yoongi because she’s not what Yoongi’s looking at. His eyes are locked on Taehyung’s hands; locked on the way the tendons flex as he manhandles the faceless girl in his lap, hikes her over one thick thigh.

Ten more seconds of this and all of you will be looking for a new club.

The air is hazy and thick, the floor sticky with god knows what, and Yoongi reaches for you beneath the table. His own large hand finds your smaller one, those knobby knuckles almost uncomfortable when he twines your fingers together. He’s still staring at Taehyung, and you want to do something, say something, it’ll be someone else soon, stop watching, you’re only gonna hurt yourself, but you know him, and you know when he gets like this it’s best to just let him ride it out. Suffer a little.

(Right now, it doesn’t seem like it’ll be tortured as last time, at least—when all of you had gone someplace else, some seedy spot in an Itaewon basement, and Taehyung had some girl pressed against the wall outside the bathrooms, fingers buried deep in her cunt as she shook and came. And Hobi, smarter and sharper than any of you but still so fucking stupid, had just—

“Fuck, man, they’re gonna need a mop and bucket for that. I mean, shit, it was so much? The sound when it hit the floor—”

Jeongguk had pulled a face. Half doe-eyes, half mortified terror. “When what hit the floor, hyung?”

“Her fucking squirt, Jeonggukie, what the fuck do you think—”

And Namjoon, just as wide-eyed and terrified as Jeongguk but for an entirely different reason, had laughed awkwardly and said, “Haaa, maybe we should talk about something else?” as he looked between Hoseok and Yoongi.

That night had been shit-tier, nearly unsalvageable, so at least it doesn’t seem like Taehyung’s in that kind of mood. At least the girl in his lap still has her clothes on. At least his hands are someplace you can see them. At least Yoongi’s still beside you.)

So you bide your time. Take stock of who’s still here and where they are, because the girl in Taehyung’s lap has her lips on his neck and things might go south faster than you’d originally anticipated. Hoseok and Jimin are on the dance floor, hips doing something sinful and too much; Namjoon’s at the bar, jaw clenched as the bartender passes him over for the fourth time in a row; Soyeon and Hyungseo are in the other side of your booth, tongues sloppy as they kiss just because they feel like it; Jeongguk, shoved in the corner on Yoongi’s other side, is slack-jawed as he stares at them, and Jeongguk is a fucking pervert so you know he’s hard.

“Put your dick back in your pants, Jeonggukie,” you say, loud enough for him to hear you over the music. The bass is heavy as it drops, feels like it’s thrumming through your veins, and Jeongguk startles. Bangs his knee on the underside of the table in his panic, and Soyeon and Hyungseo don’t bother breaking apart to look. “You want another drink?” you ask Yoongi, squeezing his hand a little tighter.

He shakes his head, finally drags his attention away from Taehyung. There’s someone new in his lap: chin-length silver hair, thin legs that go on for miles, tan skin covered in boldly-colored tattoos, could be anyone. Yoongi isn’t looking anymore, but you are, so you catch it when Taehyung looks up. Looks right at Yoongi, wants to see if he’s watching, but instead he just finds you. “Gonna go smoke,” Yoongi answers, and you slide out of the booth to let him leave.

“Is hyung okay?” Jeongguk asks when the two of you are pressed back together. He sips leisurely at his drink, trying to make it last until Namjoon makes it back from the bar with another one. Something baby blue and shockingly green, a little umbrella on top. Two cherries. “He seems sad. Hey, watch this.” Jeongguk pops one into his mouth and presents the knotted stem to you seconds later.

This is the part you never know how to explain: that Yoongi loves you but sometimes he wants someone else. Not instead, but too. That you love Yoongi and want him to have whatever he wants, and that jealousy is foreign to you. That you and Yoongi love each other but do things a little unorthodox, which is not out of the ordinary for a friend group as ran-through and commingled as yours, but still takes patience and care to explain.

So you just ruffle Jeongguk’s hair, laugh at his squawking protests, and wrangle him so you can press a kiss to the top of his head. “Don’t worry this pretty little head about your hyungs, okay?”

Jeongguk surfaces with a glare, surface-level because you’ve embarrassed him in front of two hot girls that are still making out, and hides his flushed cheeks behind his drink. “Is it about Taehyungie-hyung?”

“What’d I just tell you?”

He pouts, but you’re saved from another interrogation by Namjoon’s unceremonious return to the table. He’s so flustered by his one-sided feud with the bartender that he slams the blue-green drink down a little too hard, spills half of it in Jeongguk’s lap. “Move over,” he says to you, and you cock an eyebrow in return. “Please,” he amends, like that’s what you’d been looking for, but when you still don’t move he gets a little whiny and panicked. “They’re relentless,” he says, pointing his thumb at Soyeon and Hyungseo like you can’t see them. “Don’t make me—”

“What about me!” Jeongguk wails, pressing his hands pathetically to his groin like he’s trying to stem bleeding, at the same time you roll your eyes and fire a, “Says Mr. Eight-gigabyte Porn Folder,” at Namjoon.

You receive another glare, this time from Namjoon, and he doesn’t hesitate to steal Jeongguk’s spot against the wall when he goes to the bathroom to deal with his soaked pants, only to start swearing when he realizes the seat is wet, too. “Jesus fuck—”

“That’s what you get.”

“Fuck off,” Namjoon fires back. “Where’s Yoongi-hyung?”

“Outside smoking.”

“Smok—why is he smoking?” At your silence, he jerks his head up, intent on getting an answer out of you. Instead, his question dies on his tongue as he follows your line of sight. Another new person in Taehyung’s lap, sucking Taehyung’s fingers into their mouth. “Ah, yeah. That fucking guy.”

You can’t help but laugh. “Be nice, Namjoonie. You know Taehyung would hook up with a microwave if it gave him attention.”

“What number is that, then? Hasn’t he gotten enough attention?”

“Third I’ve seen. The first one was cute. I thought for sure he was gonna leave with her.”

Namjoon huffs, shakes his head. Takes a long pull of his beer. “He’s not gonna leave with anyone. He just does this to piss off hyung.” Then, like he’s coming to a realization, he turns to look at you with a quizzical look. “Wait, where’d Seokjin-hyung go?”

You stare back in disbelief. “How long were you at the fucking bar? He left hours ago.”

“Did he?” Then, quieter and to himself, “How long was I at the fucking bar?”

Whatever game Taehyung is playing, Yoongi is woefully inept at playing along.

Doesn’t know when it’s his move or when it’s time to sit and watch. Doesn’t know the rules. Doesn’t really listen when you try to explain it to him; probably doesn't want to hear it. Yoongi seems to think he’s at his best when he’s a little sad, a little miserable and yearning. At its core, that’s what the game is, and as much as he keeps touching the thorns to see if he’ll bleed, you know he still enjoys it.

(Know he gets off on it, too.)

Yoongi reaches for you. Steadies himself with his hand on your shoulder, pupils wide as saucers—dark dark dark in the corner of this grimy club—eventually breaking into a smile when you grab his sweat-slick hands and guide them to your waist. Your bodies move together like waves, pushing apart only for Yoongi to continuously pull you in closer, dazed from the feeling of you pressed against him.

“Fuck,” he breathes, words impossible to hear over the music, “look at you. So fucking pretty.”

He threads a knee between your legs, the sound of his groan drowned out as you roll your hips against him. Maybe Yoongi doesn’t know the rules to this game, but you do, and you make sure Taehyung’s watching when you drag your core against Yoongi’s thigh. He groans again, and his hands grip your hips tighter, moving you back and forth on him the way he does when you ride him.

You watch as he drags his eyes upward, see the exact moment he spots Taehyung across the club. His profile is lit up by the strobe lights, filling in the contours of his bone structure with greens and blues. He’s with Jimin and Hoseok now, dancing with the girl from earlier with the pink hair, her back pressed to his chest. He leans down and whispers recycled filth into her ear that she seems to buy. You watch as Yoongi closes his eyes tight; watch him pretend it’s Taehyung dancing with him; it’s Taehyung’s hips he’s gripping onto; it’s Taehyung who’s moaning and desperate for him in this moment.

You watch as his eyes snap open again.

You watch as he realizes he’s in this daydream alone.

And you wonder, briefly, if this should bother you. If this is fucked up, that Yoongi’s hard against you because he’s thinking about someone else, and you find that you don’t care. What you and Yoongi have doesn’t need to make sense to anyone except the two of you.

“Wanna go home,” Yoongi slurs into your ear, fucked up from the feel of you, the thought of Taehyung.

You smirk, tangle your hands in his hair and tug a little just to fuck him up even more. “Yeah? What d’you wanna go home for? It’s still pretty early.”

“Wanna fuck you,” he whines. Tries to hold you in place to grind harder against you and whines again when you move just out of reach. “Baby.”

“You know the rule.” There’s a drop of sweat that rolls down the side of Yoongi’s neck that you chase with your tongue. “Tell me what you actually want and we can leave.”

The breath he sucks in is harsh, fractured, like your question is a special kind of torture. You know it is. Unlike with Taehyung, this is a game both you and Yoongi know the rules to. Unlike with Taehyung, this is the game Yoongi plays to win. The song changes again, this time to something filthy and slow, and Yoongi fits himself to your back, moves until both of you are facing Taehyung. “Want you both,” he says into your ear. Nips at the lobe. “Want to watch you fuck him the way you fuck me.”

“Don’t wanna fuck him yourself?”

You feel him shake his head. “Not this time.”

“What are you doing, then? In this fantasy of yours?”

Yoongi presses closer, the outline of his hard cock pressing into the small of your back now. “Watching, at first. Wanna see you ruin him.” His hands skim along your skin, dip beneath the hemline of your shirt, dance across your stomach. “Wanna watch you make him fucking cry.”

“Are you telling me how?”

Yoongi’s laugh is low, a little caustic. “I won’t need to. He’s so fuckin’ easy.”

“And yet you want him this bad,” you taunt. “Someone easy like that—doesn’t seem to be your type.”

He bites along your neck. “Watch yourself.”

“I’m not the one all fucked up over Kim Taehyung.” You make eye contact with the man in question. Watch as the look on his face fades into a smirk, syrupy and slow. Sleezy, you think. He probably is as easy as Yoongi says. “I should tell him how fucking hard you are. Should tell him you’re gonna take me home and fuck me and come thinking about him. That’s pretty fuckin’ dirty, Yoongi.”

It’s nothing you haven’t said before. Sometimes you press even harder, humiliate him a little when he seems to be in the mood for it, but this time he goes stock-still. Silence stretches between the two of you, the only people standing still on this dancefloor, and you’re halfway turned around to see if Yoongi wants to fuck or cry when he says, “Do it, then.”

You laugh. All part of the game. But then Yoongi grabs your hand, moves it to his cock, straining against his skin-tight jeans, some kind of message that’s gotten fucked up in translation. “Yoongi—”

“Tell him,” he says, expression shuttered and serious.

“You wanna think about this for more than ten seconds? You haven’t talked to him since the last time you guys hooked up and you want me to go tell him you… what? That you want to have some weird cuck threesome with him?”

That’s exactly what you told him.

(Because you know Yoongi, and you also know Taehyung. Your dig at him to Namjoon was very much based in truth, and with how fucked up the dynamics of your friend group are, it hadn’t taken much more than sending Yoongi out into the cold to order a taxi, swaying your hips a little, re-glossing your lips, and disposing of the girl with the bubblegum pink hair. No one had batted an eye.

“I’m going home to fuck my boyfriend,” you said, leaning into Taehyung’s space. He was draped on the couch again, legs spread in a way that was frankly obscene. “Would you like to join us?”

“That depends, angel. How do you fuck him?” he asked, spreading his legs wider.

You stepped closer. Cupped his cheek, dug your nails into his skin a little, and said, “Better than you ever did,” all condescension.

Taehyung had just laughed. Pressed his tongue into the fat of his cheek. “I guess we’ll see about that.”)

And now you’re here, Taehyung sprawled on the bed beneath you. You can see why a sight like this would have Yoongi fucked up as long as he has been: Taehyung’s golden skin contrasting against the crisp white of the sheets, dark hair fanning against the pillows, curls falling into his eyes, chest heaving. Each time he throws his head back you’re torn between sinking your teeth into the column of his throat and wrapping your hands around it. It’s easy to ruin him when he looks like this; easy to give Yoongi what he wants.

“What should I do with you?” you think out loud, and Taehyung’s responding whimper draws a laugh out of you. “Yoongi wants to watch me fuck you,” you continue, hands teasing toward the sensitive skin of his inner thighs. You pinch, slap away the sting. “Would you like that?”

Taehyung’s cock—long and thick, still glistening with spit from when you sucked him off—twitches at the thought. “Y-yeah, fuck, want that,” he answers, hands moving to fist the sheets. He’s been so good. Has done exactly as you said. “Wan’ you to fuck me.”

“Should I fuck you the way you used to fuck your hyung?” Both Taehyung and Yoongi moan at the same time, and it’s so stupid, you think, this game they’ve been playing. Cat and mouse, as if the conclusion hasn’t been inevitable this whole time. “Use your words, Taehyung.”

“Yeah,” he says again, Adam’s apple bobbing heavily in his throat. “Y-yeah, like that.”

You hum, reach behind you for the bottle of lube. Yoongi mutters a quiet shit from the other side of the room and you glance over. Mouth hung open, lips wet; jeans pushed halfway down his thighs, the outline of his cock visible through his briefs, hand squeezing at the base. Cheating a little, but still not touching himself the way you know he wants to. He’ll be the first to cry, at this rate.

Eyes back on Taehyung. You wonder if he’d normally preen, put on a show. You wonder if he did that with Yoongi, some whole thing. “He’s told me about it, you know,” you say, clicking the lube open. Sounds more like a gunshot in the small space of your bedroom, where the only other sounds are labored breathing and the city outside. “Told me all about how you used to split him open with that big cock.” You tip the bottle sideways, let the lube dribble out and over Taehyung’s balls. He hisses at the cold, mutters a swear. “Told me he’d struggle to take it sometimes.”

“You two are—fuck.” Whatever Taehyung was going to say is cut off as your finger follows the lube, trails down to his hole. You circle it there, make sure it’s wet, press a little just to watch his hips jerk. “You two are fu-fucking weird.”

“Mm, maybe,” you concede, “but you should see how hard he comes when he’s thinking about you.”

You gather more lube on your finger, then, and press it inside. Just to the first knuckle, just enough to make Taehyung whine. “I guess you already know that, though,” you continue. Pour a little more lube on Taehyung’s skin. Pull your finger out enough to slicken it, push it back in a little further. “Was it good for you?”

His moan is broken and low, deep and heady. A sound that makes the world feel like it’s tilting; a sound that makes you want to chase it. “Yeah,” Taehyung answers, and it could be a response or a declaration when it’s followed by, “so fucking good.”

“Yoongi is good, isn’t he? He listens so well.” With your free hand, you grab Taehyung’s face roughly, turn his head in the direction of where Yoongi’s sitting. “Look at him,” you instruct. He already looks fucked-out. Cheeks flushed, breathing hard, knuckles white where he’s gripping onto the arm of the chair. “Look at how good he’s being, not even touching himself.”

And Taehyung… Taehyung almost looks ashamed. Won’t meet Yoongi’s gaze, now that they’re so close, now that it’s real, and this won’t do, will it, so you dig your nails in a little harder, drag them down his cheek, tell him again to look at his hyung. Then—

For the first time all night, their eyes meet at the same time.

Yoongi’s whimper is loud. The loudest you’ve ever heard him outside of actual sex. You work in a second finger alongside the first, build up a steady rhythm, and Taehyung isn’t faring much better. Little by little he opens up for you and you’re thankful for the way he sucks you in, adjusts. It’s getting harder to ignore the heat between your own legs, watching two beautiful men fall apart in vastly different ways, even though you want to drag this out, want to make Taehyung cry and give Yoongi exactly what he wanted.

And, god, Taehyung is so fucking pretty.

You tell him as much, and his smile is greasy, looks even more lewd when you crook your fingers and his eyes roll back. He’s still tight around you when he asks for a third so you shake your head, tell him no, tell him he’s greedy, and you think people must not make him beg much, the way he’s pouting. Taehyung has a face that gets him whatever he wants and a cock to match, and you’d understood it before, why Yoongi couldn’t really let it go, but it’s different when it’s right in front of you, making a mess of your sheets.

“I must be going soft on you,” you tell him, working in another finger the next time he asks. “Yoongi wanted me to make you cry and here I am, giving you whatever you want. Maybe I should let him decide what you get.”

Taehyung shoots a hand out, grabs at your forearm. “Don’t,” he says, voice hoarse, bordering on pleading. “Please. He’s still mad at me, won’ give me anything.”

A huff of breath escapes you. “He doesn’t look very mad to me. Looks like he could probably come on command if you told him to.” It’s not an exaggeration, not really; Yoongi is gone, looks like a stiff wind could have him spilling all over himself. “But maybe that’s what you deserve.”

You nail Taehyung’s prostate the next time you crook your fingers and he sobs. You do it again, then a third time. Precome oozes out of his cock, deepens the pool on his belly. You keep it up until tears pool on his waterline, until he’s reaching for you again, begging you to stop, words cracking as he tells you desperately that he’s going to come. “Angel, fuck, please, I’m gonna—”

“No, you’re not,” you tell him, all authority. “You’re not going to come, are you, because I haven’t told you to. Yoongi hasn’t told you to.”

The first frustrated tear streaks down Taehyung’s cheek. “Oh my fucking god,” he chokes out, forcing his hips flat to the bed, tries to force you to stop moving. But your rhythm is steady, confident, three fingers working with the space he’s left you, and it isn’t until you watch his balls tighten that they slow. Taehyung’s sweat-slick, looks even more golden under the amber lamplight, and it’s dizzying, the way the color shifts as his chest heaves with his ragged breaths.

There’s only enough time for you to slip your fingers out, grab the lube, slick up the strap-on that’s fastened around your hips, before you’re pressing the head against Taehyung’s hole, still dripping wet. “It’s so big,” you muse, grinning wickedly at the man beneath you, “I don’t know if it’s going to fit. What do you think, Yoongi? Is this how you used to feel?”

When you look over this time, Yoongi has his cock out, briefs tucked beneath his balls, stroking fast. Clicking your tongue, he looks up through half-lidded eyes, hand stilling immediately. His nod is almost imperceptible, too disoriented to answer, and you’ll give him this one. Won’t push it. What you will push, though—

“Shit.”

You’re not sure if it comes from Yoongi or Taehyung. It might’ve even come from you, because you’re transfixed, can’t tear your eyes away from the sight of your stupid flesh-colored dildo disappearing into Taehyung’s body. Fucking greedy, you think, mostly at yourself, because if this sight is good you can only imagine what you’d see if you were watching his face. Brows furrowed, mouth pinched. A look not far off from that night in the club, the determination on his face as he fucked that girl with his fingers, uncaring who heard or saw.

But this is your show. Yoongi’s fantasy. Whatever girls—people—Taehyung has fucked in seedy clubs across Seoul are of little importance here. All that matters is the steady push of your hips, the slow roll once you’re fully buried, the pleasure that jolts through you when you’re able to grind a little against the toy, the way Taehyung thrashes against the sheets, incoherent as he babbles, stuck between more and too much.

“Okay?” you ask, hands skimming along his warm skin. Goosebumps trail in their wake, and you settle them on his thighs. Press them up and to the side as he nods, giving yourself more space, and Taehyung’s moan is loud, unabashed. His cock lies neglected against his stomach, begging you to reach out and grab it, stroke him, make him come too fast so you have another bruise to press on, some way to embarrass him.

But this is your show, Yoongi’s fantasy, and you don’t have to look because you can hear how close your boyfriend is to getting himself off. Can hear the way his breath hitches, can hear when his rhythm changes. Quicker, now. More insistent. If Taehyung looked over at him, it’d be all over, and you almost tell him to do that, too.

“Stop touching yourself,” you say to Yoongi. A second time when he disregards the first, too far gone, too close. “Yoongi.” He whines but he listens, shoves his fingers in his mouth to stem the urge, and Taehyung watches it all.

You’re still thrusting, thighs burning, sticky where they meet Taehyung’s, and it won’t be your lengthiest performance, that’s for sure. So you call Yoongi’s name again, beckon him over, and he hesitates, looks so unsure. But it’s so stupid, the way he and Taehyung dance around one another—and you know, you know Taehyung wouldn’t be shaking like this if it were just you, if Yoongi wasn’t in his head, wasn’t watching—so you’re insistent. “Come here,” you tell him, and you make sure your voice is spun sugar when you say it.

Yoongi listens. Stumbles over on unsteady legs, knees nearly buckling when he gets close enough to also watch the way the strap-on fucks into Taehyung’s hole, the way it stretches obscenely to accommodate it. “Baby.” He threads his hands into your hair and kisses you hard and messy. Taehyung moans beneath you so you know he’s watching, and you will your body to move faster, fuck him harder.

When Yoongi pulls back, it’s obvious. The longing in his eyes. “Tell him,” you say, and he looks caught-out, would almost look angry if he were capable of it. “This is your fantasy, isn’t it? So tell him.”

“I—” He looks down at Taehyung again, meets his gaze again, and he must see something there you can’t, because all the hesitation is gone when he says, “I want to kiss you.”

And you know what it means.

Because that had been the rule between the two of them. No staying the night, no kissing. You know what it means for Yoongi to ask for that, what it’d mean if Taehyung allowed it, and it nearly cracks your heart in half that it’s the only thing he’s willing to ask for when his wants are endless when it comes to Taehyung.

“Oh my god,” Taehyung moans. “Fuck, hyung, yeah—yeah, c’mere, kiss me, please, fuck.”

Yoongi looks like he’s been punched in the gut. Looks overwhelmed, given this kind of permission, so he goes about it all wrong. Starts to kneel at the side of the bed before you tsk and grab him by his own hair. “Do it right,” you instruct.

He moans. Aborts whatever he was about to do and climbs over Taehyung on the bed, straddles him, fitting in between both of you perfectly, close enough for his cock to slot against Taehyung’s. They both moan, and their game had been so fucking stupid it sends a lick of anger through you. Yoongi ruts his hips once, twice, and then he’s leaning down and cupping Taehyung’s face and pressing his lips—still wet from you, still wearing your spit—to Taehyung’s.

And Taehyung comes immediately, nearly untouched. Spills all over himself with a loud, broken sob.

“Holy shit,” you say, hips slowing until they’re still. “Holy shit, that was fucking hot, what the fuck.”

Taehyung trembles in the comedown and Yoongi presses in closer, kisses him through it. Can’t seem to stop now that he’s allowed. He’s still rutting, has Taehyung teetering on oversensitivity, so you grab Yoongi’s hips to slow him. “Careful, baby,” you say softly into his ear. Press a kiss to the nape of his neck. Give him a minute to back away from the ledge again and get himself under control, let Taehyung catch his breath. “Are you okay, Taehyung?” you ask, hands once again touching any of his skin you can find. You knead at the muscles in his calves.

There’s some garbled response. Something you think is supposed to sound like an affirmation. “Words, please.”

“Y-yeah,” comes his response.

“Okay. I’m gonna go grab something to clean you up, all right?” You press another kiss to Yoongi’s shoulder, turn your attention to him. “Then we’ll finally give you what you want, yeah? Finally let you come.” A shiver runs up his spine and he nods weakly. “Can you prep yourself while I’m gone?” Another shaky nod. “Good boy. Gonna pull out now, Tae.”

You do so slowly. Taehyung hisses, sucks in a breath through his teeth. Hisses again when you replace the toy with your thumb, try to ease the discomfort of being so suddenly empty. With another kiss pressed to Yoongi’s shoulder, you mumble an I love you into his hair, and then you’re gone.

There’s always been something about the way Yoongi touches himself.

Like the goal is more than simply getting off. Like there’s reverence in it, something beyond purpose. Yoongi touches himself the way other people drop to their knees at church and pray.

Sometimes it’s long and drawn out. Sometimes his hands skirt over every inch of his own skin before he finally brings them to his cock. Sometimes he rests on his haunches in the middle of the bed and angles himself toward the mirror and watches, his cheeks aflame the entire time because he’s embarrassed to see himself like that, three of his own fingers fucking himself, but the embarrassment almost feels just as good. Sometimes he has you beneath him, raining down praise as his fist works the length of his cock.

Sometimes he does it entirely wrong, like now.

Two pale, lube-slick fingers work in and out of his hole. His own, then, and not Taehyung’s. Just like you’d asked. You’re a little surprised, thought maybe Yoongi might panic and retreat with you gone, but they’re both where you’d left them. Taehyung’s talking all the while, saying god knows what in that deep timbre, and it’s straight up pornographic the way his large hands rest on the cheeks of Yoongi’s ass, pull them apart.

The damp cloth in your hand feels useless. Is useless, you think, because Yoongi had told you something, once, deep in the throes of another cerebral fantasy—

“I can’t believe I have to keep telling you this,” you say, and everything immediately goes still at the sound of your voice, “but do it right, Yoongi.”

Taehyung lifts his head, stares at you skeptically. Probably mirroring the look on Yoongi’s face that you aren’t privy to with his back to you. “We’ve talked about this,” you continue, stalking closer. All eyes on you as you drop the cloth to the floor. “Are you clean?” you ask Taehyung, and he nods, expression still dubious.

And then you’re reaching between both of them, swiping your fingers through the mess of cum on Taehyung’s stomach, and he understands immediately. “Are you gon—fuuuck. Fucking christ.” The first swipe goes to Yoongi’s mouth, and there’s no hesitation as he sucks your fingers clean. Your free hand finds Yoongi’s, the one he’s working himself open with, and pulls it away. Replaces it with your own, your two longest fingers covered in the second swipe of Taehyung’s cum, and you fuck them in and out faster than Yoongi had been.

“Filthy,” Taehyung chokes out, clearly overwhelmed; another groan when Yoongi starts sucking at his neck, biting, claiming.

It’s primal, the way Taehyung reacts, the way Yoongi embeds himself under his skin, tries desperately to make a home there. Something permanent this time; or, at least, a home that won’t burn down like the last one. Won’t be reduced to a smoking heap of bitter ash. And you wonder, as you watch the way these two beautiful men fit together, if Taehyung will be holding the match or the key this time.

You press slow, open-mouthed kisses along the knots in Yoongi’s spine. Drizzle more lube on your fingers, work him open more. Whisper I know, baby, I know when he gets impatient and a little too demanding. Swap the condom on the strap-on and slick it up, just like last time, and then you’re pressing into Yoongi instead of Taehyung, the way you’ve done so many times before.

Everything is familiar and different: the drag, the pull, the noises spilling out of Yoongi’s mouth. Those staccato whines varied in pitch, sometimes drawn out and sometimes punched and short. This is what you know. This is your home, and you think, as Taehyung looks at Yoongi, so fucking endeared, as he gently cups his face, as he says—

“Hyung, you look so pretty. You’re doing so well, hyung, fuck, I didn’t think I’d ever see you like this again.”

—you think your house might look nice with an addition. An extra space carved out only for Taehyung. A room where Yoongi can exist in endless adoration.

“Make yourself useful, Kim Taehyung.”

Because Taehyung listens. Because Taehyung is good in all the ways that Yoongi is good, and he doesn’t have to be told twice when the order deals in Yoongi’s pleasure. So all of you adjust until Yoongi’s on his hands and knees, gripping tightly onto the headboard, and Taehyung shuffles down the bed until he can get his mouth on Yoongi’s cock.

“Fuck, yeah, just like that,” you say, and Taehyung moans at the praise, the vibrations making Yoongi gasp and jerk.

You know when you hit his prostate, too; know this is going to be over soon from the way he buries his face in the crook of his elbow and screams. You know it from the way he starts to shake. From the unintelligible filth that pours from his mouth as Taehyung swallows him all the way down. From the way he stutters out a, ba-baby, wha’bout you, gonna come like this, and you pet his hair, voice soft again when you say, this is for you, Yoongi, you can come, I know it’s so much.

There’s a final husky, drawn-out moan, and then there’s quiet.

Lucidity returns slowly.

The heat kicks on. A police siren wails in the distance, seven floors below you. You re-wet your cloth and do your best to clean the dried cum from Taehyung’s skin, your smile fond as he whines at the cold, tries to squirm away. Yoongi doesn’t move an inch, just collapses face-first onto the mattress and lets everyone fuss over him. Starts snoring a few minutes later, after you’ve pulled the duvet up to his ears and he’s tucked in and warm.

You move to the dresser. Pull out two t-shirts—oversized on you, tight in the shoulders on Taehyung—and clean underwear. And then you pause, because Taehyung’s already plucking his own clothes off the floor, already has his fucking socks and briefs on, and it’s… it doesn’t feel right, is the thing. Doesn’t feel like he should be leaving. Not tonight, maybe ever.

“Where are you going?” you ask, and you do a good job of keeping the hurt out, at sounding normal.

Taehyung doesn’t get it. Looks at you like you’re a little stupid and a lot crazy, because he looks at you, then at the world outside the window, and finally at Yoongi before answering. “I—leaving?”

“Why?”

Taehyung looks at you like you’re a lot stupid this time. “I don’t…” Pauses. Tries to sink into the floor to no avail. “Look, I think maybe this was a mistake? Hyung and I—I don’t think this is what he wants.”

“And how do you know what he wants?”

“Because we’re here,” he answers, anger seeping in. “Because I’m standing in your apartment. His girlfriend, and—”

You sigh. “If you want to leave, I’m not going to stop you, but I think it’d really hurt him if you left.” You leave off the again. It’s not your trauma to dredge up. Yoongi wouldn’t want you to, and that’s reason enough. “I would like it if you stayed, if that means anything.”

“The two of you are fucking weird,” he says again, but he looks less torn. Looks less like he would plow you over to get to the door, and it’s… progress. It’s good. You can work with a halfway thing. “Hyung would really—you think he wants me here?”

It’s spoken about in the way a broken thing always is: delicately, hesitantly, like Taehyung’s afraid of the answer, afraid to find out the results of this stupid game of his own design. “He does. It’s not my place to say much more than that, but I think the two of you are overdue for a conversation, if nothing else.”

Taehyung nods. Starts looking less and less like he’s out of place; starts looking like object permanence, takes a corporeal form within the four walls of your bedroom. “There’s space here for you,” you say, with the amount of care words like these require, “if you want it.”

“What does that mean?”

“Whatever you want it to. Nothing has to be decided right now, but I know Yoongi. You know him, too. I just don’t want to see him hurt again.”

Taehyung nods again. Peels his socks off. “You’re sure?” he asks, and when you nod, he climbs back into bed, seems to somehow know which side of the bed is Yoongi’s, two magnets drawn together. Something inevitable.

You breathe out a sigh. Finally slip the t-shirt and underwear on. Flick the lamp off and let yourself have a minute to enjoy the calm, Yoongi’s body heat next to you, still snoring softly between you and Taehyung. And then, because you can’t resist—

“You two are really fucking stupid, you know that?”

You hear Taehyung swallow. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles, sounding the part of a scolded child, and as much as you try not to, you’re smiling again, fond and endeared, into the dark. “I know.”

“Okay. Go to sleep, Tae. I expect a very nice thank you gift in the morning.”

It doesn’t happen in the morning. Not really.

It happens sometime in the middle of the night. The light streaming in through the sheer curtains gives away nothing more than silver-amber light, the moon and the city. Could be minutes since you fell asleep, could be hours; all you know is Yoongi’s at your back, arm slung possessively over your middle, and his heat is stifling.

“Yoongi,” you hiss, because it’s not just his heat. He’s hard again, cock pressing against the swell of your ass just like it was in the club, and you feel him smile against your neck when he realizes you’re awake. Feel him rock his hips, just a little.

He nips at your lobe, your jaw. “Hi, baby,” he says, like this is just another morning. Like he’s about to present your favorite mug to you, coffee fixed exactly how you like it. “Why didn’ you wake me up?”

“For what?” you breathe out, voice already wavering. All Yoongi has done is skim his warm hands under your oversized t-shirt, swirl a finger around your navel.

Yoongi tuts. Feels weird to be on this side of it, the illusion of condescension. “To fuck you. Make you come. You didn’t earlier.”

“I meant what I said—”

“I know you did,” Yoongi interjects, “but I don’t find that to be a very acceptable excuse.”

You roll your eyes, no heat in it, but then Yoongi’s hand moves to the hem of your underwear and slips inside. Your hips jerk when he moves two fingers lightly over your clit, jerk again when he finds you already wet and groans deep and husky into your ear. And it’s not loud, but it’s loud for this room at whatever-the-fuck time it is. “Gotta be quiet,” you whisper to him, and he laughs, thinks you’re joking. “I’m serious,” you say, and you want to sound authoritative but it comes out as a whine when he sinks those fingers into your cunt.

“Why would I need to be quiet?” he asks. Crooks them as best he can from this weird angle, you on your side with your back pressed to him, Yoongi halfway on top of you. “Shouldn’t I be loud?” He hits a spot that whites your vision. “Shouldn’t everyone in this fucking place hear it?”

Usually you wouldn’t care. Your apartment building has heard worse, including whatever debauchery the three of you had gotten up to mere hours ago, but—“Taehyung’s asleep.”

Yoongi startles, goes still. “What?”

“What.”

“What d’you mean Taehyung’s asl…” You feel him turn. Feel him realize, for the first time, that there is a very-asleep Taehyung on his other side, and you want to ask how he hadn’t noticed before, want to say didn’t you realize how cramped this bed is, it’s not big enough for three people, we’ll have to get a new one, but. Yoongi hadn’t expected him to stay, hadn’t expected it to even be an option, so of course it would’ve been a blind spot.

Your heart cracks in half again.

“What’d you say to him?” he asks. Not accusing, almost awed, like you knew a code, the secret passcode to getting Taehyung to stay that Yoongi hadn’t had before.

You reach back, find Yoongi’s hair. Scratch gently at his scalp. “Just that I thought you’d like it if he stayed. That’s it, nothing else. I wouldn’t.”

“I know, I wasn’t…” He sucks in a deep breath, holds it, lets it go. He’s okay. “This is okay with you?”

A laugh spills out of you. “You’re asking me that now? I was nearly fist-deep in his ass a few hours ago but him sleeping in our bed is crossing some kind of line?”

“Sex can be different,” Yoongi argues, “and it’s me, you know, like it’s my hangup, not yours—”

“I want you to be happy,” you answer honestly. “Whatever that looks like. I told him there’s room for him here if he wants it, but they’re not my knots to untangle. If he wants to stick around, if you two can get your shit together… we’ll figure it out. It only needs to make sense to us.”

Silence. Then—“I don’t think I’ve ever been this hard in my fucking life,” Yoongi groans. “Jesus Christ.”

“I should’ve known hyung was the type to get a boner from open and honest communication.”

Yoongi startles again at the low rasp of Taehyung’s voice. “And that’s exactly why I said I fuck him better than you,” you fire at him, deadpan. He laughs. You don’t have to look at Yoongi to know how red he’s turned.

“You said that to him?” he chokes out, all mortified disbelief, at the same time Taehyung says, “Maybe you’ve got a point, angel.”

The mattress sinks under Taehyung’s weight as he shuffles closer to the two of you. Must touch Yoongi somehow, because there’s a high-pitched whine from the back of his throat, so loud in your ear, has heat coursing through you. “Finish what you started, hyung,” Taehyung says, and Yoongi’s nod is jerky, his hands uncoordinated under Taehyung’s watchful stare.

Yoongi moves over you fully, wastes no time before he’s working his fingers in and out at a steady rhythm, sucking at your skin. Taehyung groans quietly, doesn’t need to be told a goddamn thing; rids you of your shirt so Yoongi can mouth his way from your jaw to your neck, collarbones to chest, one nipple and then the next. Pleasure licks up your spine, outweighs how overwhelming it is to have Yoongi this geared-up, wound this tight; to have Taehyung’s hands roaming over every inch of skin his hyung doesn’t have his mouth on.

“Yoo-Yoongi,” you choke out, because this has really gone from zero to a hundred and he’s been pressing incessantly on your g-spot for too long to remain unaffected.

It’s building, building, building, and you’ve fully lost control of your hips, grinding against the heel of Yoongi’s palm like you’re desperate for it. (You are.) And Taehyung just laughs darkly, says, “Think she’s gonna come, hyung,” just to get under your skin.

“Mm, yeah. Might make a mess.” He slaps at your clit and that’s it, that’s what does it.

And Yoongi knows you, doesn’t he, because he knows how you like to get fucked. Knows to click his tongue at you, give you that disappointed look; knows to wipe your release on your thighs. Knows to barely let you catch your breath before he’s slipping on a condom and pushing inside of you.

After his fingers, the stretch from his cock feels dizzying. Feels on the edge of too much, and Taehyung’s commentary is doing fuck-all to help you come back to earth. Keeps saying shit like goddamn, hyung, yeah, fuck her like that. Maneuvers you so your back is pressed to his chest, now, your head on his shoulder, so Yoongi can slip his tongue into Taehyung’s mouth while he ruins you. It’s filthy, it’s so fucking filthy, and you think, selfishly, that a room won’t be big enough. You’d build Taehyung an entire goddamn house to keep it like this, to keep the three of you safe in this bubble.

“Imagine, hyung,” Taehyung starts, and you know what comes out of his mouth next is going to be nasty. Yoongi knows it, too, eyes starting to go glassy. A million constellations reflected as he looks at the two of you. “If we fucked her at the same time. Both of us in that tight pussy. Our cocks togeth—”

You’re not sure if the deafening moan comes from you or Yoongi. Either way, his hips falter, cadence reduced to stuttered thrusts as he tries desperately not to come just from Taehyung spewing more filth out of his devilish mouth. But you want to see it. Want to see what happens when he’s pushed to the brink of horny delirium, so you say—

“Do it.”

—and Yoongi has to stop altogether. Grips your hips so hard you know they’ll bruise, and you think, for a second, that he actually did come. Everything is quiet for a second, just more labored breathing, and then Yoongi picks his head up. Looks more fucked-out than you’ve ever seen him, even more than earlier, and looks straight at Taehyung.

“Put your fingers in her.”

Taehyung breathes harshly through his nose. Waits for you to nod, give him the okay, and then his hands leave your hair and skim down your body. They’re so warm, so large, cover so much skin that it truly feels like he’s everywhere, like it’s more than just him touching you. The closer he nears to your cunt, the more overpowering it is, the harder it is to breathe.

“Is this what you want, angel?” he asks, words warm on your skin as he presses them just below your ear. “You’re a greedy girl, getting hyung’s cock and my fingers.” He rubs circles into your clit, sends you spiraling. You’re dangerously close to a second orgasm (could be a third, could be a hundredth, considering Yoongi never let you come down from the first) and there’s a split-second right before he dips his fingers into your cunt, works them in alongside Yoongi’s cock, that you feel engulfed.

Everything is on fire.

You, most of all.

Taehyung sucks his fingers into his mouth, gets ‘em wet, works in slowly. Just his middle finger at first, and Yoongi falters again, moans out an oh fuuuck that betrays exactly how far gone he is. And you aren’t far behind, the stretch from both of them unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. You can’t imagine how it’d feel if it was more than just Taehyung’s fingers, except you can, and Taehyung notices when the thought has you clenching, has you a little wetter, because he laughs at you, tells Yoongi like he can’t tell on his own. Like your boyfriend is a little dumb, like he’s never fucked you before, and that does something to both of you.

One finger turns into two. Yoongi’s a fucking mess, absolutely gone of the feel of them inside you, against his cock, can’t stop moaning. The tight fit has Taehyung’s fingers pressed snug against your g-spot, exactly how Yoongi’s had been, and it’s too much. Too much.

“I’m, fuck—I’m gonna—”

When you come it feels like the end of the world. It feels like rapture. It feels like every atom in your body has been rearranged, like the gods themselves are rewarding you specifically with the sound of Yoongi following right behind you, moaning low and ragged, spilling into the condom.

In the comedown, he kisses you—soft, tender, with every iota of love and affection contained in him. “I love you,” he says. Presses another kiss to the corner of your mouth. “You okay?”

“Not sure,” you answer honestly. “Give me three to five business days to decide.”

Yoongi’s smile is shy, almost embarrassed. More gums than anything else. Behind you, the rumble of Taehyung’s laughter against your back, rattling your ribs. Rattling your heart, maybe, lodged safely between them.

It expands, makes more room—the one for Taehyung, that house—and Yoongi’s lips find Taehyung’s next and you know it’ll be okay. These two stupid boys, they’ll figure it out, put a cease fire to their foolish game.

Yeah, something inevitable.

as always, thank you for reading! my inbox is always open if you’d like to leave feedback. i’d love to hear your thoughts! ❤

[thestraymage]

Hello, my name is Alex and before I start speaking my mind about the Natlan (&Sumeru) situation, I want you to know that I'm a white Italian and for that my opinion on racism will always be less important that POC opinions. Also, I'm aware that my anger is nothing compared to the anger and suffering of the minorities that are being misrepresented, but if I don't talk then I would be complicit in the racism that's spreading online.

I'm angry because I'm seeing white people talking about "forcing diversity" and removing "representation" from white people (geez, that's cringe bro). I've also seen really racist offences on every app I'm in.

To all these people: fuck you. We are the most privileged and represented group on this motherfucking planet, everything is about us.

Also, it's not forced diversity, they are using non-white cultures but refuse to properly represent them. This is cultural appropriation.

We stole everything from these cultures: their lands, their freedoms and now we still steal from them. And then we have the audacity to ignore their existence, because god forbid something is not for white people.

You are all quick to complain if there's a black protagonist in a game about Japan, even if he is an historical figure, because the reality is that you are racist, plain and simple. And if you think you are not, you probably can't understand your privilege and the fact that every one of us has been raised in a racist society, and we should listen and learn from others experiences. But noooo, you're all complaining because...what? Why does melanin bother you so much? Get over yourselves. You are trying to silence people, the same thing that we have done to them for hundreds of years. They are tired and they are fucking right to feel like this.

Also, saying that entire countries (Japan, China) are racist is generalising and, considering what's happening with racisms in a lot of weastern countries, we should stop infantilizing another country and start seeing how our governments are enforcing racist behaviours.

My personal story is different, but I know for a fact that if someone creates something with an all POC cast, you will be screaming and having a tantrum because you hate not being the center of attention. Why do I know that? Because it happened in my community with queer creators, where straight people complain if there's an all queer cast. Privileged people H A T E when something is not about them.

To all of the beautiful people who are fighting for their right to be represented correctly: you are incredible, strong and you deserve respect. And I'm deeply sorry for what you're going through.

(Sorry if my English isn't perfect)