#i'm a decorator not a cas person

[midnitecafe]

brindleton bay folk 1/?

[murfeelee]

Murf's Top 50 Mods - Part 3 (2020 - 2023 Edition)

I made a Top 50 list (Pt 1 and Pt2) back in 2016, talking about mods that I've used & love. But with all the goated content that the amazing TS3 community continues to churn out, I NEEDED to update my list! This one in no way diminishes or negates the other mods I've already listed--like, I shouldn't have to sit here and explain how NRAAS continues to carry TS3 on its freaking shoulders, ok. This is just MORE mods, the Top 50 most RECENT ones I've tried out since, like, quarantine.

I am a VERY niche simmer--I love fantasy gameplay, so my fave mods are the ones that not only offer general quality of life improvements, but also add new abilities and interactive objects inspired by different cultures, time periods, or genres. So y'all already KNOW which ones have earned my top spots. They're not based on which mods are "better," just which ones I personally have been using the most.

1: Smooth Patch, LazyDuchess

I've already gushed about this mod, but oh well. Like--I use an EFFTON of CC. My Live Mode gameplay itself doesn't tend to lag so much as my game's slow to LOAD, slow to save, CAS is a nightmare, I can do my taxes waiting for the Misc Decor section to open, etc etc. But the Smooth Patch loads everything so much quicker for me! 😭

One thing is that on the EA App version (curse you, EA) the Master Controller package didn't work on my end, so I took it out, but everything else has been great!

2: Search Mod, LazyDuchess

Speaking of the Misc Decor section -- HOW LONG did we ask EA for a Search function y'all? Only to be ignored. Then the second TS4 is released, it ain't got a effing thing in it, but it's got a Search function??? 🤔 ISTG it's like the simgurus were told to take all of the TS3 community's best suggestions, and poach them for TS4 (like vampire coffins--NO I'm not over it!). WHY do modders have to do your frikkin job for you, EA?! I call EA lazy all the time cuz EA you suck, so it's the most ironic thing ever that LazyDuchess is out here KILLING IT.

My ONLY "complaint" about the Search mod is the position of the icon. I use A LOT of Collection Files, and I noticed that the Search icon actually covers the Delete button when in the Collection viewer. So I can't delete items in collections with the Search icon in the way.

But this is a MINOR nitpick--I almost never delete items, it's just something I noticed is all.

3 - 8: OCCULT MODS: EVERYTHING by @puddingface1902

Y'all already know the Enhanced Witches mod is my favorite mod ever made. But PF1902 also made cool enhancements to the Fairies, Genies, Vampires, Werewolves, and Mermaids too! My sims are usually Nraas hybrids (e.g.: Sakura is a faery, witch & plantsim; Magnus Bane is a witch & genie; etc.), so it's FANTASTIC having so many new abilities for my magical occults. 😍

9 - 11: OCCULT MODS by xantak22

Even more occult mods at MTS are for enhanced Plantsims, Ghosts, and Mummies! I was dying for more Plantsim abilities, omg, they're my 3rd fave occult after Witches & Fae.

12: Sim Control Tools by Knight

Sooooo many quality of life mods have come out! ^0^

I've been ABUSING the Teleport To Me function, to quickly get sims off of lots & where I need them to be. It also lets sims unlock more Social/Romantic interactions. (Now all we need is a way to interact with sims from EA's useless thumbnails.)

13 - 18: @anitmb's mods

There are SOOOO many--most I've yet to even try. But so far newer ones I've been using are the Deck of Cards (FINALLY something other than EA's bulky AF poker table!), Farm Mod (look at all these CHICKENS!), and Hunting mod so my 8000 archer sims can actually hunt! (Ofc I've also used the Woodcutter and Anvil mods in my older gameplay posts, too.) And @mspoodle1's edit of the Cup of Tea mod is so pretty.

19: @mspoodle1's Poker table

Another excellent cards mod is this medieval style poker table I use a lot now, too.

20: @omedapixel's Wildflowers DR

I like EA's default wildflowers from SSNS, but Omeda's are just sooooo much nicer. (I haven't gotten around to trying out their Harvestable Plant DR yet.)

21: Swordfighting mod by CyrusBanefort

En garde! This mod is so freaking epic!

One thing I've noticed is that the game lags while it waits for the mod to boot up (a message has to first pop up saying it's running when you first launch your saves). But other than that this mod is excellent.

22 - 24: Yoga rugs

I've long been using the yoga rugs by Kitabalibar and the edited one from @mspoodle1. But now there's the newest one by @twinsimming, with brand new animations & features. The more the merrier I say, LOL. What's especially neat is the kids wobbling around as they try to do yoga! :3

25 - 30: TheSweetSimmer's mods--so cute! :3

Omg so frikkin many, I can't even catch up! The interactions are so freaking precious, like from the More Toddler Interactions (cuddle, look at, etc) & Biggest Little Mod (hug legs), I've never had so much fun playing with kids! <3 And I LOVE that they can Catch Butterflies and Pick Flowers--you'd think plantsim children would be able to do this by default, EA! Honestly, just grab everything by TSS, your kid sims will thank you!

31 - 33: @spheresims Medieval/Nature/Tribal mods

Y'all know I'm crazy about the Functional Fireplaces mod (the cauldrons, baby! 😈), but the One with Nature and Wildlife Hunting mods are great too, perfectly complimenting the off-the-grid realness.

34: @olomayasims/Cmomoney Smoking Mod Overhaul

The original smoking mod was on my first Top 50 list, so it's awesome seeing it get new upgrades, interactions & animations.

I've never smoked IRL, but sooooo many of my sims just puff-puff away; I'm such an enabler. U_U Now all we need is cigars and pipes!

35 - 38: Callia-Evergreen/Camkitty's CAS CC for animal hybrids at MTS

Not a "mod" per se, but whatever--my list my rules! I love ALL of their CC, but I get SO MUCH use out of animal-themed CC like the digitigrade sliders, wolf feet, lizard tails, and fae wings. Do check them out if you like to play with horror and monster-sims!

39: @greenplumbboblover's Sheep

EASILY one of the most incredible mods I've ever seen. Like....HOW? (Once @omedapixel's Goats are done I'm gonna start screaming someone do llamas pleeeeeaaaaase!!!)

40: Arsil's musical instruments mod

I used the sax most recently in my IWTV gameplay, and it was excellent, perfect for the NOLA vibes! However, although I use the flute A LOT more (for my Untamed gameplay--it's been such a GODSEND!), I really wish the hands were positioned better, preferably using the poses from Chisims' flute poseset. (But I don't eff with poses/animations, otherwise I'd do it myself. U_U) Ah well, it's still one of my fave mods though.

41 - 42: Flower Arranging mod by zoe22 + @mspoodle1's Florist Collection

Guys, I've been wanting this mod since FOREVER! ^0^ (I swear, the best thing about TS4 is all the 4t3 conversions, LMAO!) I just wish Teens could Dabble and use it, too--all they can do is stock the table.

43: Just Sit/Nap Anywhere by FloTheory

Sometimes you just want sims to fall asleep anywhere, DANG, EA!

44: @sweetdevil-sims' Toddler Food DR

Cuz EA's food is UUUUUUUUGLY~! I kept forgetting to install it, only to be rudely reminded every time I had to look at my toddler sims eating MUD.

45 - 46: @mspoodle1's mail pen quill DR and @omedapixel's pencil quill DR

I looooove quill pens IRL (ballpoint pens, not the fountain pens--I'm way too messy), so having mods that let my sims use them too is 👌

47: Fireflies Enhanced! by Canibal_MLO

I love anything that enhances the wildlife and collectibles/harvestables to be more dynamic and interactive. And I was JUST about to do a firefly catching scene for my IWTV insp. gameplay, so this came right on time! The falling leaves effect is delightful, but I kinda wish it was falling flower petals instead, cuz ofc I do. 🌸

48: Unicorn Aurora DR by Canibal_MLO

GORGEOUS. This mod replaces the unicorn mist with northern lights, like.... I love the genius ideas simmers have.

49: Custom Plumbbob Color tool by CrossTheMersey

What a neat idea! Although the default Maxis colors are ingrained in my psyche, with the iconic green plumbbob, as soon as I saw this mod I knew I wanted to at least try something different and play around with it.

50: @aa6x7's Teru Teru Bozu + other edits [Honorable Mention]

I rave about Cmomoney's Time/Weather Mod all the time, I use it constantly. AA6x7's Teru Teru Bozu (Japanese "Sunshine Monk" charms) is kinda like a simpler version of it, as it just resets bad weather back to Sunny. But it's such a cute idea and perfect for my gameplay. Plus, AA6x7 makes all kinds of neat edits/mods to EA's bulky AF meshes, so if you haven't checked them out already, DO!

And that's all the mods I've managed to try out recently!

I don't have anywhere near the kind of free time that I used to, so my simming has been put on the backburner and I've missed all kinds of cool and exciting releases. But trust: I am taking note, so that I know what to try once I have time.

All my deepest & sincerest gratitude & love to the entire sims community, for keeping The Sims 3 going--this year was the 14th anniversary! Here's to 14 more! 🥳 Happy Simming!

[sardonic-the-writer]

𝐂𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐮𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐁𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

↳ notes: happy birthday to me! when this posts i'll officially be older, and celebrating by being cringe (writing this). i also love that picture of misha. it's him at my birthday party for real. he told me himself (lying)

↳ warnings: none!

↳ song: rock your body—justin timberlake

masterlist | commissions | carrd

• Special occasions like this are few and far between

• The Winchester family hadn't had a proper birthday in decades. While Dean clung to memories of gas station twinkies in replacement of a birthday cake, Sam remembered most of his birthdays with a sort of sad animosity. Up until walking out on his dad for Stanford and spending his birthday that year with Jessica, he hadn't had a single enjoyable birthday party. Maybe that was part of the reason he refused to let you feel the same way about your own birthday—even if none of you were kids anymore

• Worst case scenario, the world is ending again and you all have little time for delicacies. If that's the case, you'd get a quick pat on the shoulder from Dean, one excited bear hug from Sam, and very confused Cas wishing you the best of births before being told to continue packing the shotguns with salt rounds

• "With age comes responsibility, so keep loading those guns. Spider-Man said that."

• "For someone that watches so much trash tv, you know so little about media, Dean." You snorted at your friend, fingers nimmbly crushing salt into a line of rigid red shells before moving onto the next group

• "Shut up before I decide to give you your birthday noogies." He pointed a finger at you from across the room with a single raised eyebrow. Off to the side you saw Cas ask Dean what birthday noogies were not-so-quietly, and you struggled to hold back a laugh

• Even in the worst situations, they could always manage to make you smile

• Best case scenario, however, it's a free day. Nothing to do, no devils to fight, no ghouls to stop—nothing. Just you, the guys, and time on your hands that you all normally never have. So what better way to utilize it than with a little surprise party?

• Sam would be the most into the whole birthday party shtick. He'd insist that it was the least they could do for you after all the years on the hunt together, and even got Dean to budge after a few minutes of petty debating

• "It's stupid and cheesy, Sammy. We're grown adults. We've fought the devil beforr for christ's sake." Dean gave his brother the stink eye from his spot in the drivers seat. Groceries stores and Mom & Pop stores passed them by as they ventured into the nearest town, but neither of them paid attention to their blurred surroundings

• "Come on Dean." Sam twisted his torso and turned to face him fully. "Don't tell me you don't remember the look on their face last month when we brought them back a souvenir from our hunting trip in Alabama. You would have thought we brought them a new car. Besides, this is the one chance we've had in a while to actually celebrate something." Sam's eyebrows tilted up as he recalled the memory, shooting a knowing look at Dean's side-profile

• "So what? I say we just tell them happy birthday like a regular person and call it a day." Dean grumbled

• "Is that why you're driving in the nearest direction of the bakery here?"

• Dean didn't respond

• "That's what I thought."

• "Shut your pie-hole or I'm kicking you to the curb."

• Once the boys get back to whatever new place you all are holed up for that week, a couple of crinkled bags in hand, they call on Cas to help out with setting up whatever decorations Sam had forced Dean to throw in the cart

• Cas didn't take nearly as much convincing to partake in the setting up of festivities, but he certainly did need a lot of it explained

• "I thought angels were familiar with the concept of birthdays?" Dean asked at one point while watching Sam pull part of a cake out of the oven. His hand was slapped away when he went to grab at it, and he glared at his younger brother momentarily

• "We are." Castiel's gruff answer came shortly. "But we stopped keeping count after the first couple thousand years. And it was never done like—" He flicked the party hat atop his head curiously, "—this."

• "What did you guys do to celebrate?" Sam asked while popping the lid to a can of store bough frosting open

• "Pray."

• "Naturally." Dean rolled his eyes sarcastically. A blanket of silence fell over the room after that as Sam set out to frost the first part of the cake. Then—

• "Hey. How come none of you are wearing paper hats?"

• "Oh, trust me Cas. It'll mean a lot more to them if you were the one wearing it." Dean's grin was borderline evil as he looked at the angel

• It's safe to say that you laughed the hardest you had in a while once seeing Cas looking so hesitant in a mini cone hat

• Overall, it's the best birthday— the best day —that you've had in a long time

• You didn't need much, and as a hunter you'd come to expect almost nothing. But knowing that your friends— the short tempered, college dropout, otherworldly friends that they were —took it upon themselves to set all this up for you was the emotional equivalent to a punch in the gut. A lovely emotional punch in the gut

• "If you start crying, I'll leave." Dean snapped at you when you eventuallyvoiced how much this meant to you. But the threat was empty, and you all knew it

• Sometime during the party, you had managed to wrestle a paper hat of his own onto his head, and how it sat on the side of his head like a crooked unicorn horn. Occasionally he'd reach for it as if to take it off, then lower his hand with a small smile

• "Shut the fuck up and give me a group hug, Dean." You grinned with teeth, gesturing at him to stand up

• "Wait, no, I take it back that's worse."

• "I will kill you, Winchester. I swear I'll do it."

• You ended up getting your group hug that day, even if it took Castiel trapping Dean between you and him to get him to stand still

• "I hate it here." He griped with a groan. Sam could only laugh as be watched his brother struggle in Cas's iron grip, and said angel was smiling a bit to himself. You felt your heart swell; even if the look on Dean's face was downright murderous

• "Smile or I'm egging Baby on my birthday night." You said before setting the camera's timer and holding it up above you all

• "You wouldn't—"

• "Watch me."

• All four of you have your own copy of the photo from that night, kept in your seperate pockets and bedside table drawers. To this day you find yourself smiling when you look at it, and even if you'd never know it, so do they

[allisas]

lovestruck stream thoughts

I really like the "way of life" turn-ons and turn-offs and that they're combined into slightly broader categories instead of being based on single skills. They also include broke, wealthy, taken (already in a relationship) which is nice. 👍

I'm really bummed that the only physical turn-ons and turn-offs are hair color, clothes related. Maybe the game doesn't track tattoos, body hair, eye color etc and that's why they're not included or maybe they just want to push the "the inside is what matters"-part really hard? Not clear to me why there weren't more. I'd also liked to have turn-ons based on different occult states, like attracted to vampirers, werewolves etc.

We're finally getting a copy to all outfits button in CAS as a BG update! 🙌

I'm super happy that lashes are separated into a new category and I'm crossing all my fingers that the CC-lashes will be updated to be compatible with this. I'm not sure if I'm maxis match enough to use those BG-lashes..

The world seems similar to many of the last EP worlds with 12 lots including a gym, nightclub, park & lounge. I wish we had gotten a few new apartments in addition to the penthouses. I'm having a hard time getting excited for new worlds these days, they often feel a little lackluster and empty. With the same tired food stalls everywhere, a lack of things to do and the areas to big to be populated.

What really struck me during the gameplay showcase was how they still to this day can't seem to make the sims react in any visible way to most of the interactions in game. Many times the only way to know if an interaction was "liked" or "successful" is to read the pop-up because the animation wont tell you anything. The first thing that happened was a sim telling (throug a pop-up) that they were super unattracted to another sim and the next second they were flirting with the same sim. I was just like 🤔..

Sims break up via text pop-ups instead of animations. Meh..

The sky gazing animation is cute and picking the date activities seems to be basic enough that it shouldn't be gamebreaking. It'll be nice to have dates with different goals than the BG date which becomes quite tedious after playing for so many years.

Love that the date can ask to continue at your played sims' house the date if it's going well. 😘

Build/buy seems a little lackluster to me personally, mostly new bars, workout equipment & mis-matched windows and doors. I really, really, really don't need another bar in this game.. But, on a more positive note, I like the new decorative items and the collectible, breedable axlots looks fun. 😊

All in all I'm not super impressed or excited. The UI in this game is becoming soo bloated with all the personality stuff that ultimately mostly shows up to you as text pop-ups or moodlets and doesn't result in any unique animations or interactions in game.

I'm still going to try it out when it arrives and see what it feels like when playing. I'm thinking that playing through a scenario with a limited amount of packs might be a good way to do that.

What are your thoughts on the new pack?

[hometoursandotherstuff]

Thanks to anesthetizes for sending in this very unusual (weird) home. Note that in the picture above, the real estate used a watercolor painting of the house, b/c it's signed. I suspect that the house started out as a regular ranch style, when it was built in 1930 in San Francisco, CA, and they eventually transitioned to a hacienda style. (I'm thinking it doesn't look as good in a photo as it does in the painting.) 3bds, 2ba, asking $1.195M.

The decorative hardware they added to the front door.

The front door and window have colorful stained glass. As soon as you enter the entrance hall, you can see the decor.

It has a Conquistador vibe and what they used to call "Mediterranean" furniture in the 70s. I think that it was a very short-lived style.

As you can see, it was very heavy, ornate, and featured crushed velvet fabric.

Not sure what this room is supposed to be.

This must be the dining room since it's right outside the kitchen, but they don't it set up as one.

Not sure what to say about the kitchen. It's not particularly what I'd expect for a $1.195M home.

I don't know what this is, but it looks pretty messed up. I think that the fridge is in another room, the microwave is on the counter, and I don't see a dishwasher. I, personally, wouldn't pay $1.195M for this kitchen.

This must be the guest powder room, so the house really has 1.5ba, not 2, as the description says. Interesting hands coming out of the wall. I wonder if they convey.

Marble-like floor tiles in the primary bedroom. This room looks somewhat Harry Potter-ish, even though it's got Mediterranean style furniture.

Bedroom #2 is a den. I'm still getting Hogwarts vibes.

Bedroom #3 is a sitting room, but it looks spacious.

Bath #2. I'm assuming that the giant pottery is in the tub b/c they don't use it, so they decorated it. Fancy black pedestal sink and there's also a shower with black tile.

It looks like the basement and garage are "open concept" and the laundry area is down here.

Oh, my, the 3,815 sq ft lot doesn't seem to offer anything but a dried out garden.

Ah, so here at the end is an actual photo of the house. The watercolor is a bit more flattering. Maybe $1.195M isn't much to Californians, but it's exorbitant to people like me, and I just don't see that this home is worth the price, especially with the kitchen.

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/999-Portola-Dr-San-Francisco-CA-94127/15134670_zpid/

[supernaturalscribe67]

Eyes

Words: 8,052

POV: 3rd Person

Pairing: Castiel x Male!Winchester!Reader

Warning(s): Language, multiple character death, torture, TWD reference sprinkled in there, Lucifer being Lucifer, Nightmares, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Animal Abuse (?) idk the butterfly isn't real, Castiel is the sweetest boyfriend known to man

Summary: The reader recently got Castiel back, and he has convinced himself that everything is back to normal, but the past has a tendency to haunt us, refusing to let go. What happens when the one person he loves more than life itself begins to remind him of the one that caused him the most pain?

Request:

Hi! I was wondering if you could do a Cas x winchester!reader(male and romantic) where Reader wakes up from a nightmare, Castiel is there to comfort them, but he refuses to tell Castiel what the nightmare was about.

After more and more repetitive nightmares every night, Cas finally got him to tell him what it was about. It turns out it was about readers' experience with Castifer. (I'm giving you free range with what happened)

The brothers can be there too, or they can be on a hunt, you choose. Thank you! I love your writing sm btw

Anonymous

A/N: It's been a while! In the course of writing this story, which consisted of 38 handwritten pages, we've had two staff members at work quit, leaving only two teachers in the entire center with a director who refuses to be in the classroom, so I've been working open-close, coming in early and staying late off the clock, and just trying to mentally recover over the weekend. Yay us :) I hope to get back in the groove of things now that this request is out of the way, as I knew I wanted it to be long enough to add the detail I had in mind. I hope I did your request justice and, as always, feedback is greatly appreciated!

~ Much Love!

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

The woods near the bunker were beautiful. Tall, thick oaks decorated the skies above. Below sat wildlife. Squirrels scurried about to gather food, rabbits burrowed beneath the base of various tree trunks, robins collected sticks for their nests, and butterflies rested on wildflowers that grew on the spare patches of grass. It was a stunning forest to explore, one that (Y/N) and Castiel had walked through thousands of times, and with each instance, new beauties were presented. There was never a dull moment in nature, which was what the couple appreciated about it. Even the parts of the world that some would consider ugly were attractive to them, and they were loved even more.

They wandered through the woods as they normally did, hand in hand. Their eyes scanned every aspect of the ground below their feet and stopped to mention the most notable elements. One thing that caught (Y/N)’s eye and halted their walk altogether was a stray flower that had grown at the base of a towering oak tree. (Y/N) pulled Castiel to the flower and knelt on the ground to get a closer look. The petals were a soft white, painted with a dusting of woodchips, and the center was bright yellow. Just as (Y/N) was about to reach down and touch it, the quiet flutter of wings filled his ears.

Out of his peripherals flew a magnificent monarch butterfly. It took a moment to brush past his nose before it landed gracefully in the center of the flower. (Y/N) broke out into a large, bright smile as he glanced over at Castiel. He, too, had a smile, only his was softer. Slowly, Castiel reached his free hand forward, his index finger extended. The butterfly confidently climbed onto Castiel’s finger, as if they were old friends. When it was fully nestled in his hand, Castiel withdrew it and moved his hand so it rested between their bodies.

(Y/N) stared in awe at the closeness of the creature. The intricate detail on the wings, the way the antennae moved, the small size of its body, all of it was beautiful. Remarkable. A true gift to the universe.  For a moment, (Y/N) looked up at Castiel, and he could feel the love in his heart. He was so kind and caring. A gentleman - angel if you will - and (Y/N) could not ask for a better lover.

Then his smile changed.

Instead of the peaceful grin he wore before, the corners of his lips curled into - need I say - a devilish smirk. In an instant, Castiel grabbed the butterfly’s wings between his index and middle finger and crushed them. (Y/N) opened his mouth and felt his throat contract, as if to gasp, but no sound came out. He looked up at Castiel’s eyes, and one thing that he noted was the fact that they were no longer the oceanic color he had grown fond of. They were dark, and gloomy, as if to represent an upcoming storm. When Castiel’s look shifted so their eyes connected, (Y/N) felt his stomach drop.

That wasn’t his Castiel.

“Pathetic little creatures, don’t you think?” He leered.

Lucifer.

(Y/N)’s chest rose and fell rapidly in tandem with his breaths. He wanted to run, to scurry away until he was out of sight, but he couldn’t find the strength in him to move. It was as if he was bound to the Earth, held captive by God himself. Lucifer chuckled.

“What’s wrong, (Y/N)? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” The voice didn’t belong to Castiel, despite wearing the same face.

(Y/N) tracked the movements of his hand - his familiar hand - as Lucifer reached over and brushed his fingers through his hair. Still, (Y/N) couldn’t move. Even his touch was different.

“Oh, how I’ve missed that look. It was so much fun to mess with you. So fun that I just had to come back. Did you miss me?” The last question came out barely above a whisper.

Still, (Y/N) said nothing. He failed to notice that the world around him had stopped, frozen in time. All he could focus on was the terror that reflected in Lucifer’s deep, dark eyes. The eyes of his lover. The lover who was no longer there.

“Oh, it doesn’t matter. The important thing is, now we’re back together! And, in this little dreamland of yours, you can’t get rid of me. No, you’re not strong enough to. Because all you see in front of you is your precious little Castiel, and why would you want to get rid of him, right?”

(Y/N) felt himself blink rapidly. No. He’s not real. Nothing is real. It was all fake, a trick his mind made up to make him suffer. His sick, twisted mind. All he had to do was wake up.

“Sick and twisted is a little harsh, don’t you think?” Lucifer smirked.

Wake up.

“Stay with me, come on,”

Wake up.

“Stay.”

Wake up!

*~*

(Y/N) gasped as he jolted upright. His heart pounded in his chest, eyes blown wide. A thick layer of sweat coated his brow. One good look at his surroundings and he could see he was no longer in the forest. He was in his room, in the bunker. He was safe.

A hand pressed against his shoulder, which caused him to jump and let out a shout of surprise. To his right, Castiel sat on the bed, worry hidden behind his electric blue eyes. Blue eyes. His eyes. The eyes he fell in love with. His safety. As suddenly as he awoke, his nerves calmed and he could feel his heartbeat regulate. 

“Are you alright, (Y/N)?” Castiel spoke with his normal, gruff voice.

It’s Cas.

(Y/N) let out a shaky breath and gave a small nod. “Yeah, yeah, I’m okay. Just…had a bad dream.”

“I’m sorry, Bumblebee. Do you want to talk about it?” Castiel asked as he reached up and gently cupped (Y/N)’s cheek.

He leaned into the comfort of Castiel’s hand. The fear and stress washed away. He smiled a little wider. “It was just a hunting dream, nothing more.” He spoke softly as he reached a hand up to touch Castiel’s.

With a troublesome expression still on his face, Castiel gently grasped (Y/N)’s hand, brought it to his lips, and kissed his knuckles.

“Are you sure? You seemed rather bothered by it.”

“I’m positive.”

Castiel smiled sweetly. “Okay,” he whispered and placed a kiss on his forehead. “Would you like to sleep again? It’s still early, and Sam and Dean aren’t expected back for several more hours. I can hold you while you rest. Perhaps that’ll keep the nightmares at bay.”

(Y/N) opened his mouth to turn down the offer, but quickly shut it. The idea of being held in Castiel’s arms while he slept seemed to put him at ease. Maybe Castiel was right. There was a chance he could feel better that way. More at peace. Then his nightmares wouldn’t appear and, instead, they would be relaxing dreams. He missed those.

“I’d like that,” he said and laid back down on his side, facing Castiel.

Castiel lay beside him, mirroring his position, one arm wrapped under him and the other around his waist. (Y/N) laid his head on Castiel’s arm, nose brushed against his chest, and was instantly filled to the brim with warmth. In his arms, he felt protected, safe, and secure. The same security a child had when they were covered by their blanket. 

Gingerly, Castiel placed a kiss on (Y/N)’s forehead. “Goodnight, my sweet Bumblebee.” As he spoke, it was as if his words dripped with love and adoration.

“Goodnight, my angel.” (Y/N) whispered.

*~*

Just as he was about to drift off into slumber, light kisses could be felt on the shell of his ear. Stubble tickled his neck and cheek, and he couldn’t help but grin tiredly.

“Cas, I’m trying to sleep,” his mumble sounded more like a whine as he let out hearty chuckles.

Kisses turned to nibbles at his protests, and he couldn’t hold back the giggles that erupted within him. (Y/N) tried to swat him away, but Castiel was persistent. After a moment, he began to trail sloppy kisses down his jawline, to his chin, then gave him a peck on his lips.

(Y/N) slowly opened his eyes and smiled up at him, but when Castiel pulled back and opened his own eyes, he was met with a familiar look of dark clouds.

“Thought you could get away from me that easily?” He asked.

(Y/N)’s smile vanished and his eyes widened. He swiftly pulled back from Lucifer’s grasp. In his getaway, his hand fumbled off the side of the bed and he fell to the floor. Instead of the concrete bunker floor he had expected, he landed on a soft dirt ground that was littered with natural debris. As he quickly looked around, he could see that he was back in the forest he had been in before he awoke. In any other situation, he would be full of peace in that setting. All he could feel, though, was a sense of dread.

Lucifer let out a deep chuckle that rumbled the Earth below. He moved to perch himself on the edge of the bed, feet planted on the ground on either side of (Y/N)’s body. The smirk on his face stood out as he looked down at him.

“(Y/N), you wound me! After all the time we spent together?” Lucifer pouted and placed a hand on his chest to feign hurt.

“You’re not real.” (Y/N) breathed.

Lucifer pursed his lips. “Pretty sure I am,” he nodded and stood from the bed so he towered over him. “Maybe I can get another kiss to figure it out.”

(Y/N) began to crawl backward, his eyes never leaving Lucifer’s. “No, no, no! This is all a dream! It’s all a dream. All I have to do is wake up again and you’ll be gone.”

“Oh, sweetheart, it’s so funny that you think you can run away again.”

“Fuck you!”

“Only if you want to.” Lucifer laughed.

(Y/N) sneered in disgust and finally pushed himself off of the ground. For a split second, his eyes left Lucifer, and, at that moment, he had vanished. His heart thumped to the beat of a thousand drums, and he swore he could hear it in his ears. He turned around completely in an attempt to find Lucifer, but he was nowhere to be found. Oddly enough, he found no comfort in his absence. With the forest as eerily quiet as it was, it was as if he was in the eye of the storm. That he could be hunted before he knew it.

And he wasn’t going to stick around for it.

His movements were slow at first as if he were covered in a thick layer of honey. Eventually, he gained momentum and began to rush through the maze of trees. Leaves under his feet crunched and branches cracked under the power of his steps. He did not know where he was headed, nor where he would end up, if anywhere, but all he knew was that he needed to get as far away from Lucifer as possible.

“You can run, but you can’t hide, (Y/N).” Lucifer’s sing-song voice echoed against the trees as if he were right on top of him.

He swore at any moment his heart would give out. If he thought about it too much, he was sure it would explode. He wouldn’t put it past Lucifer.

“Come out, come out, wherever you are.” He sounded closer, but that didn’t break (Y/N) out of his sprint. If anything, he went faster.

“I see you! Can you see me?” Lucifer laughed, and that caused the back of (Y/N)’s head to throb.

The corners of his vision started to blacken and his heart felt like it stopped. At once, his legs seized to function, and his feet scraped against the ground, not enough stamina in his body to lift them. It would prove to be his downfall as, seconds later, the tip of his foot caught on a protruding root. His whole body fell to the ground with a heavy thud.

(Y/N) felt drunk, as if his entire world spun rapidly. A soft groan fell from his lips and he opened his eyes, but he was met with nothing but darkness. He felt so helpless. So lost. So scared.

He had to wake up. 

Footsteps echoed around him as if someone actively encircled his body. They stalked him, teased him, and filled his mind with thoughts that raced, too fast to comprehend. They made him want to run, but his blindness made it impossible.

Have to wake up.

Have to wake up.

Please wake up.

Then, he spoke.

“Waking up won’t do anything, you know. I’ll still be here, waiting.” Lucifer chuckled deeply.

Suddenly, Lucifer snapped his fingers, and (Y/N)’s vision was restored. They were back in the war room of the bunker. Lucifer, still clad in Castiel’s face, had his hands placed in the pockets of his trenchcoat. He began to circle (Y/N), as a predator would its prey, eyes trained on his.

“I’ll be trapped in your little dream world with nothing to do but twiddle my thumbs. That’s okay, though, because I know that, while you’re out there awake and somewhat alert, you’ll be thinking of me. Not only that, but you’ll see me, too.”

“No-” (Y/N) began weakly.

“Yes! You will,” Lucifer’s voice got louder, and the ground began to quake. “Because every time you look at your sweet angel Cassie, all you’ll see is me. All you’ll hear is me. All you’ll feel is me.”

“Cas is nothing like you.”

“Maybe not in terms of charms or amazing personality, but when it comes to looks, we are the same.” Lucifer slowly walked up and squatted down next to him. “While you lay in bed in Cassie’s arms, and you look up at him one more time to say goodnight, you won’t be able to think of anything but me.”

(Y/N)’s jaw clenched. “I won’t let you control me.”

Lucifer let out a low chuckle, deep enough to sound similar to a growl. “Oh, (Y/N). Sweet, sweet, (Y/N). It seems you’re mistaken,” he reached over, grabbed his chin, and lifted his head so their eyes met. “I already do.”

*~*

Another pothole, another curse from the eldest Winchester. Kansas backroads and highways were notorious for their terrible patchwork. The cities and counties would spend weeks on end filling any hole that had been reported only for their work to deteriorate after the next rainfall. It was all a ploy to get more money from taxpayers, and the Winchesters were glad they didn’t have to contribute to such a scam. 

While most in the car sat jolted by the road conditions, nothing seemed to rouse (Y/N) from his slumber in the backseat, something Sam and Dean were jealous of. Castiel, on the other hand, sat worried in the opposite seat. His eyes hadn’t left (Y/N) for some time, and the lack of response from his partner whenever Dean would curse nearly at the top of his lungs troubled him further.

“Have you noticed that (Y/N) has not gotten much sleep recently?” Castiel asked faintly over the car radio.

Dean reached over and turned the dial so the Classic Rock faded into the background. “What was that, Cas?” He asked.

Castiel looked up at Dean for a brief moment. “Have you noticed that (Y/N) hasn’t gotten much sleep recently?” He repeated.

Dean nodded. “I’ve started to notice that, yeah.”

He glanced over at his brother to see that his gaze was straight ahead, earbuds in. Dean sighed, slapped him on the shoulder, then returned his hand to the wheel. Sam flinched and glared at Dean as he removed a bud from his left ear.

“Dude, what?” He asked, offense obvious in his tone.

“Have you noticed (Y/N)’s been losing sleep a lot?”

Sam furrowed his brows and glanced in the backseat at Castiel and (Y/N). “You know, now that you mention it, I have.”

Castiel hummed lightly, eyes still attached to (Y/N). The confirmation from his friends gave him some comfort. “I’m beginning to worry about him,” he admitted. “He’s awoken from numerous nightmares as of late.”

“That’s normal for hunters, Cas,” Sam said.

“Not for (Y/N). He has never had this many before.”

“Have you tried talking to him about it?”

“I have, but he never wants to tell me about them. He only ever tells me they’re hunting dreams, but…”

“You think he’s lying?”

Castiel’s silence answered for him.

“Look, Cas,” Dean began. “Nightmares, to hunters, are a bit of a touchy subject. We see a lot of things in the field and our everyday lives, and (Y/N)’s been through a lot. Maybe (Y/N) doesn’t want to worry you. I think he’ll come around eventually.” 

“You believe so?”

Dean shrugged. “I don’t know. Probably.”

Sam rolled his eyes and scoffed as he put his earbuds back inside. Dean shot him a look.

“What?” Dean asked.

Sam shook his head. “Nothing.”

Dean grumbled under his breath before he peered in the rearview mirror. “Look, (Y/N) loves you, Cas, more than anything - trust me, he’s told me more times than I can count. If there’s anyone he would go to about this problem, it would be you. Just give him time.”

Time.

Castiel was a patient man under normal circumstances, but when it came to his partner, he found that his patience wore thin quite easily if he was in distress. Castiel never liked to see (Y/N) unhappy, and it made his heart ache when he felt he couldn’t do anything to help. How he wished he could take the pain away. How he wished he knew where to start.

(Y/N) let out a soft whimper, brows furrowed tightly, and Castiel cast him a saddened expression. He reached over and softly pulled him closer so that his head rested against Castiel’s chest. While he knew Dean was right, one thing’s for certain;

Castiel hated waiting.

*~*

“We’re on Easy Street,

And it feels so sweet.

‘Cause the world is but a treat

When you’re on Easy Street.”

(Y/N) groaned and leaned his head back against the wall as the song repeated for, what seemed like the hundredth time. A faint laugh could be heard from across the room, but the darkness that surrounded him left him completely blind. He knew it was Lucifer, though. He could tell.

“Come on, cheer up!” Lucifer said. “It’s a catchy tune!”

It was the first time in a while that (Y/N) didn’t feel terrified while he dreamt. In Lucifer’s unorthodox method of torture, he had rather grown quite annoyed. He knew it was Lucifer’s way of getting under his skin, and he was doing a fantastic job at it. It wasn’t long before the short song came to an end, then repeated. Again. (Y/N) let out a frustrated shout and buried his face in his hands.

Suddenly, the lights flickered on and revealed the gray, dull, concrete room that they were in. (Y/N) clenched his eyes shut before he removed his hands from his face to look over at Lucifer, who paced around the room rhythmically as he snapped his fingers to the beat of the song. The music mixed with the bright lights and Lucifer’s arrogant face caused the bottom of (Y/N)’s eye to twitch. When Lucifer saw the look on his face, he snickered.

“Aw, is (Y/N) getting upset?” Lucifer teased, bottom lip pushed out in a mock pout.

“I will castrate you.” (Y/N) deadpanned.

Lucifer hissed. “You know, I don’t think you can do that.”

“I’ll find a way.”

Lucifer let out a loud, boisterous laugh that reverberated off the walls. (Y/N) shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest. Once the laughter died down, Lucifer stared at him intently, uncomfortably so. He lifted a hand and snapped his fingers. The music stopped. Then, it was silent. They stared at one another. Neither broke eye contact. Lucifer tilted his head to the side, and (Y/N) was partially convinced it was Castiel in that body, but he knew better.

“This isn’t working,” he sighed.

Yep, still Lucifer.

“I say you cut your losses.” (Y/N) grumbled.

“I’ll take that into consideration.”

Lucifer tapped his chin and he began to study the stone walls around them. (Y/N) furrowed his brows. There wasn’t much to study. They were just walls. Concrete walls that looked new, as if they had been constructed mere hours propr, and expertly as well. A single light fixture was placed in the center of the ceiling with a bulb bright enough to attract moths from miles away. The room was rather uncreative. Unoriginal. (Y/N) needed to start constructing better landscapes for his dreams.

“I got it!” Lucifer’s voice broke through the silence.

With the snap of his fingers, the room vanished and was replaced by a darker, dimmer setting. A small, abandoned warehouse that appeared as if it should have been demolished decades prior. Broken glass and metal beams littered the filthy floor. The only source of light came from the moonbeams that shined through the shattered windows. He took a moment to stand from his spot as his eyes scanned his surroundings. Lucifer had, again, vanished. He didn’t hold his breath, though, for he knew he wouldn’t be gone long.

“You know me so well,” a voice came from behind.

(Y/N) whipped around and came face-to-face with Lucifer. The real Lucifer. Not the one who hid behind Castiel’s face. With Castiel’s appearance gone, (Y/N) didn’t feel as much hesitation as he had before. All he felt was irritation. Annoyance. His jaw clenched, fists balled up at his sides. Lucifer smirked as he reached behind him and pulled a long blade out. He walked over and held the hilt out to him. (Y/N) took the blade and examined it intently.

“An Archangel Blade?” He questioned.

Lucifer shrugged nonchalantly. “I figured I’d tortured you long enough. You might as well get your revenge.”

(Y/N) narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “You want me to kill you.”

“It’s not gonna kill me. That would be stupid of me to give you something that would get rid of me, don’t you think?”

“Then I’m not interested.”

“Aw, why not? You know you want to.”

“Nope.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Not even a little cut?”

“No! Now fuck off,” (Y/N) waved him off as he turned on his heel and walked away.

Lucifer’s jaw dropped in shock. He was quick to follow. “So, what? You’re just going to throw away your one opportunity to get revenge even when I serve it to you on a silver platter!?”

Lucifer reached out and grabbed (Y/N)’s shoulder. It was almost instinctual, the way (Y/N) tightened his hold on the hilt, the way he turned at a speed no human should have to face him, the way he grasped Lucifer’s shoulder with an iron grip, and the way the Archangel Blade seamlessly plunged into his stomach was almost a surreal experience. Then, there was silence. Nothing moved, nothing blinked, nothing breathed. It was as if he were part of a photograph or a television show that had been left on pause. Slowly, (Y/N) closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and let it out.

Play.

“This is why you should never let your guard down.” (Y/N) said, eased the blade out of Lucifer’s (?) stomach, and took a step back.

That was when he saw them. The eyes. His heart stopped. Baby blues. Deep blues. The ocean. Wandering sea. Hurt. Sorrow. Betrayal. Death. The sea is dying. No one can stop it.

Castiel.

Castiel gripped the wound in his gut as he stumbled back. In an instant, his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he collapsed. Under his back, a deep, black imprint of angel wings got singed into the concrete. (Y/N) stared at the scene before him, mouth agape, eyes wide, heart still frozen in time. The blade dropped to the ground as if it wanted to part from his shaky hand.

“Cas?” He barely registered his voice as he stumbled down onto his knees beside his body.

He could feel the tears flow down his cheeks and he watched them methodically drop onto his trenchcoat. The sobs built up inside, but were unable to escape, caught in the back of his throat. He used one hand to caress Castiel’s cold, rough cheek. Just as the cries rattled in his chest, a smirk spread across Castiel’s chapped lips and his gaze darted toward (Y/N).

“What happened to not letting your guard down?” Lucifer mused.

(Y/N) let out a loud shout that echoed in the empty building. He fell back and began to crawl away. Lucifer cackled maniacally and stood. The wound in his chest began to close as he stepped closer.

“I don’t know why I never thought of that before! To make you take down the one thing, the one person that means the most to you. But, now that I’ve got you right where I want you, we’re going to have so…much…fun…”

*~*

“Agent Bermudez.”

…

…

“Agent Bermudez?”

…

…

“Agent!”

(Y/N) jumped slightly as he was pulled out of his trance. The cup, that held scalding hot coffee, in his hand jostled, but thankfully the contents remained in the glass. His eyes shot over to the sound of the voice. Dean and Sam stared at him expectedly. It took him a moment to realize that they had been talking to him.

“Uh, um, yes D-Agent?” He corrected himself.

Sam and Dean shared a look before their gaze returned to him. Sam cleared his throat.

“Did you have any more questions for Mrs. Calloway about her husband?” He asked.

It was then that he realized the middle-aged widow had been sat there the whole time. They were in her living room. In her house. The gears creaked in his brain as he attempted to figure out what had happened. When he caught on, he sat up quickly and placed the cup on a coaster that sat on the coffee table between the four of them.

We’re on a case, (Y/N). Get your shit together.

“Um, no, no I don’t.”

The brothers nodded before they turned back to Mrs. Calloway. They stood from the couch, and (Y/N) clumsily followed.

“Thank you so much for taking the time to talk to us, Mrs. Calloway. You’ve been very helpful,” Sam said with a small, sympathetic smile as he reached into his breast pocket and pulled out one of his faux business cards. “Give me a call if you can think of anything else.”

Mrs. Calloway took the card with a smile that mirrored Sam’s. “Thank you, agents. I appreciate you taking this so seriously. David would be grateful. Don’t burn yourself out over it, though. I know how much of a toll this job takes on you.” As she spoke, her eyes were trained on (Y/N).

(Y/N) flashed a small, albeit embarrassed, grin and gave a brief wave. Sam and Dean turned to leave as (Y/N) trailed behind. They let themselves out through the front door and back into the promotional poster for suburban America. Compared to the white and blue colonials with SUVs and Minivans parked in each driveway, the Impala stood out as a historic relic. Once they closed the door, the brothers looked over at (Y/N), each of them sporting their own look with Dean’s of slight annoyance and Sam’s of concern.

“What the Hell was that?” Dean asked, exasperated.

(Y/N) shook his head. “I don’t know. I just zoned out.”

“Yeah, we can tell,” Sam said. “What’s been going on recently?”

“Nothing, I’m fine,” (Y/N) said, although he wasn’t too convinced himself.

“No, you’re not fine!” Dean said. “Look, Cas told us about the nightmares. I get how they are, but these seem to be getting to you. Bad.”

“I said ‘I’m fine’.”

“You’re obviously not, and until you are, I think it would be best if you sat this one out.”

“Dean’s right,” Sam agreed. “He and I can do this one on our own. We’ve done it before. You need to get better.”

“You’re benching me?” (Y/N) growled.

“Yes.” Dean nodded sternly. “Until you’re better, that would be for the best.”

(Y/N) opened his mouth to rebuttal, but knew it would be futile. He clenched his jaw and stormed over to the Impala. He opened the back passenger door, sat inside with a huff, and slammed the door shut. Sam sighed and ran his fingers through his hair stressfully while Dean shook his head. 

“He’s getting bad,” Dean mumbled.

“Yeah, I’ve never seen him like that before. He needs some rest.” Sam said.

“Right, we don’t need him getting himself killed.”

“Cas wouldn’t like that very much.”

“No, he wouldn’t.”

“We still need to interview the employees at the bookstore. You can drop me off there and take (Y/N) back to the motel.”

“No, I’ll go to the bookstore, you drive him to the motel.”

“Why me?”

“Because he’s more likely to talk to you about it. You might even get him to talk to Cas about it.”

Sam gave a small nod. “For once, I agree with you. You suck at empathy.”

“Oh, bite me,” Dean grumbled. “Just get in the damn car.”

*~*

The bookstore sat three miles from the motel. Once they dropped Dean off, (Y/N) moved to the passenger’s seat - much to his dismay - and Sam shifted to the driver’s. At first, the two were silent while Van Halen hummed calmly over the speakers. (Y/N)’s arms rested at his side, head hung down, eyes half-lidded. Sam glanced over at him now and again as he drove through the middle of the small downtown. It was from the occasional peak that Sam truly saw how exhausted he was. The skin under his eyes was dark and heavy, eyes bloodshot. His body slouched, and it appeared as if he could fall asleep in an instant.

“Cas is worried about you, you know.” Sam broke the silence.

“Why?” (Y/N) furrowed his brows.

“Because of these nightmares you’ve been having. Hell, Dean and I are just as worried as he is.”

“I’m fine.”

“See, you say that, but I think the only person you’re trying to convince is yourself.”

(Y/N) looked down at his lap and began to fiddle with his hands.

“We care about you,” Sam continued. “And we hate seeing you like this.”

Sam made a right turn into the motel lot and parked in the vacant spot in front of their door.

“How did you deal with it?” (Y/N) whispered.

Sam looked over at him. “Deal with what?” 

“Lucifer.”

Sam hesitated. “Is that what your nightmares have been about?”

(Y/N) could only nod.

“How long has this been going on?”

“Since a couple of months after we got Cas back. No matter how hard I try, he won’t leave me alone. It’s like he’s really there.” (Y/N)’s voice became shaky and tears streamed down his face. 

Sam reached over, placed a gentle hand on (Y/N)’s shoulder, and gave it a light squeeze. “I’m sorry. I’ve been there before. It’s horrible…you need to tell Cas.”

“I can’t. I don’t want him to worry.”

“He’s already worried, (Y/N), and you’re getting worse by the day. You need to talk to him.”

“I don’t want him to blame himself.”

“Why would he blame himself?”

“Because Lucifer is always in Cas’ body.”

Sam raised his brows and sighed. When Lucifer used Castiel’s vessel as his own, it was tough on all of them, but he knew it was especially difficult on (Y/N). For Sam, it was difficult to see his friend a prisoner in his own body, he couldn’t imagine how hard it must’ve been for (Y/N). To see the face of your lover worn as a mask by an Archangel that tormented the people that you loved? ‘Hard’ must’ve been too light of a word.

“Listen, you know Cas would never do whatever Lucifer is doing to you.” 

(Y/N) sniffled and nodded. “I know, I know. It’s just that it keeps reminding me of when I didn’t have Cas…and Lucifer was horrible when he took over his vessel and I just hated seeing him like that. I wanna forget that it even happened.”

“I know,” Sam rubbed his shoulder comfortingly. “But I think Cas’ll understand.”

“You think so?”

“I think so.” Sam smiled over at him.

(Y/N) reached up and wiped the tears from his cheeks.

“Tell you what,” Sam said. “Why don’t you go in and lay down? I’ll give Cas a call and have him come over.”

“Don’t tell him.”

“I won’t, but you need to. If you don’t, then I will.”

(Y/N) looked over at Sam before he gave a nod. Sam reached into his pocket and pulled out the spare room key, which (Y/N) graciously took.

“Get some sleep, okay?” Sam spoke softly.

“I will. Goodnight, Sam,” (Y/N) mumbled, got out of the car, walked to the door, and entered the room.

*~*

Please, make it stop.

The warehouse was the same as in his previous dream. Still old, still dilapidated. The only difference was the large array of angel wings burnt meticulously into the floor. There was no blood, no gore, no bodies strewn about to remind him of what he did. He didn’t need the extra detail, Lucifer knew that. The wings were more than enough.

No more, please.

“And, again!” Lucifer exclaimed.

No!

(Y/N) gripped the angel blade tight in his hand, despite his mental protests. Castiel appeared in front of him, blue eyes pleading. He wasted no time as he drove the angel blade into his chest. Onto the floor, he fell like a ragdoll and a new etching of wings joined the bunch. He breathed.

It was a vicious cycle.

“Again!”

Command. Kill. Breathe.

“Again!” 

Command. Kill. Breathe.

“Again!”

Command. Kill. Breathe.

“Again!”

Command.

Kill.

Breathe.

He collapsed onto his knees. The angel blade slipped from his grasp and skidded across the floor. His eyes were so wide he was half certain they would burst from the sockets, lips parted to allow the heavy breaths of air to flow. Lucifer’s deep chuckle sounded in his ears as he stepped closer and knelt in front of him. Lucifer lifted his chin so their eyes connected. 

“Good,” he smirked. “You’ve come a long way, my dear hunter.”

Fuck you.

“Thank you, Lucifer,” (Y/N)’s voice sounded fake and robotic.

Lucifer hummed and pursed his lips. “I still hear a little defiance in that head of yours. Perhaps we should keep going.”

No! Please!

“Of course, Lucifer.” 

(Y/N) stood on shaky legs and made his way to the discarded weapon.

No, please, don’t do this.

“You are such a good listener, (Y/N).” Lucifer praised.

Don’t listen to him! Stop!

(Y/N) picked up the blade and held it with a death grip.

Put that down! You don’t have to do this!

He turned so he faced Lucifer, back straight, head held high.

Command.

No!

Kill.

Please!

Breathe.

I’ll do anything!

Lucifer smirked.

“Again!”

*~*

“No!” (Y/N) let out a loud, guttural scream as he shot up from his spot on the bed.

His eyes were red from the tears that stained his cheeks, and his chest moved up and down with the efforts of his breathing. When he felt a hand on his shoulder, he jerked away violently and scrambled off the bed, his legs weak and barely able to hold his weight.

“No, please,” (Y/N) leaned against the wall to keep himself upright. He had his palms pressed against his ears, eyes shut tight.

“(Y/N)? (Y/N), it’s me.” Castiel gently edged himself off the bed and walked over to him.

As Castiel placed his hands on (Y/N)’s shoulder, he felt his body tense.

“You’re not real. You’re not real. You’re not real.” (Y/N) repeated continuously.

Carefully, Castiel removed (Y/N)’s hands from his ears, despite the weak protests. He could feel the way his heart raced, the way his hands shook, and it hurt to see.

“Bumblebee, please,” Castiel’s voice was deep, soft, soothing. “It’s me. It’s Castiel.”

Bumblebee.

(Y/N)’s eyes shot open as he turned his head - eyes, look at the eyes. Elegant waves of blue. Sapphires. Full of worry. Full of life. Life. He was alive. Castiel was alive.

“Cas?” His voice came out hoarse.

“Yes, it’s me. You’re safe.”

Hesitantly, (Y/N) cupped his cheek. His thumb brushed against the stubble that decorated his jawline. The longer he stared into his eyes, the more he felt peace, comfort, a sense of love and longing, home. He brought Castiel close to him and embraced him tight enough that it was sure to hurt if he were human. The grip he had on him was tense as if he were convinced Castiel would vanish at any moment. Castiel returned the affection but, instead of wrapping his arms around him, he placed an arm around his back and another under his knees. He picked him up, carried him the short distance over to the bed, and laid him down. He lay next to him, their arms never retreating.

“(Y/N), please,” Castiel’s breath was warm against his ear. “I know that it wasn’t a hunting dream. Please, talk to me.”

(Y/N) was silent as he reveled in the fact that he was able to hold Castiel as close to him as he was. Alive. He took a moment to think back to the conversation he had with Sam - He’s already worried…You need to talk to him. Based on Castiel’s tone of voice, and the words he used, he knew Sam was right. He had to tell him.

“They’re about you,” (Y/N) whispered just loud enough for Castiel to hear.

At those words, Castiel pulled back ever so slightly, but never took his hands off him. He studied (Y/N)’s face and noticed the way he refused to look at him. His brows knit together in confusion and concern. He reached a hand up to caress his cheek.

“What happens in these dreams, (Y/N)?” He asked softly.

(Y/N) was hesitant to respond, a part of him terrified of the guilt Castiel could potentially feel, another scared at the mere idea of mentioning Lucifer’s name aloud. What if he wasn’t truly gone? What if he heard him? Would he find him? Would he kill him? Would the nightmares he had dealt with for the past several months come true? He knew he had to reveal the source of the dreams, though. Not only for his sake but for Castiel’s as well.

“It’s never really you in the dreams. It’s always Lucifer inside your vessel. He started by teasing me, mocking me, and then…he started to torture me. It was stupid shit at first, stuff that didn’t really hurt me. Then he brought you into the picture.” (Y/N)’s voice began to shake as tears appeared in the corner of his eyes, a result of recalling the events of his nightmares and exhaustion. “He made me kill you, Cas.”

Castiel was quick to pull him back into his arms. He brought their bodies so close together that it was as if they were one. At the warmth he felt wrapped around his body, (Y/N) finally let himself cry. Hard.

“And I try to stop him,” (Y/N) sobbed. “I try so hard, but nothing I do seems to work, and I have to kill you over and over and over again and he won’t let me go. I know he’s not there, but he feels so real.”

Castiel shushed him gently as his hand rubbed his back soothingly. They simply held each other as (Y/N) let out all the sadness, pain, and frustration he had kept in for the longest time. With each cry, with each shake of his body, Castiel felt himself break. The man he loved, the man who stole his heart, sat shattered in his arms, and he felt responsible.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered into his ear between sobs.

(Y/N) shook his head. “It’s not your fault, I knew you would do that.” His voice was broken and shaky.

“I let Lucifer in.”

“But you couldn’t control his actions. Lucifer is to blame, not you. I could never blame you.”

“But if I would’ve-”

“Lucifer would have found a way, we both know this.”

By then, his cries had mellowed out to mere sniffles and hiccups with the occasional stray tear. They spent the next several minutes holding one another, silent. The room started to get dark as the sun set, and (Y/N) couldn’t help but wonder where the brothers were. How they were doing on the hunt. He hoped his debilitating exhaustion hadn’t cost them any valuable time or extra hands they may have needed. It wasn’t long before Castiel spoke once more.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked.

“I didn’t want you to blame yourself. I knew you would. There isn’t anything you can do about it anyway. I thought I could get it under control.”

Castiel paused before he pulled back. “Maybe I can. May I try something?”

(Y/N) hesitated before he shook his head. “I don’t want to go back to sleep, Cas,” he said, voice laced with uncertainty.

“Trust me, Bumblebee, please? I believe I know how I can help.”

(Y/N) sighed. Despite everything he told himself, he was exhausted. He had been for the past several weeks, and the strength he previously used to keep himself awake had all but faded. He didn’t want to have another nightmare, but if Castiel could help him, he had to give him a chance. (Y/N) gave Castiel a quick peck on the lips.

“I trust you.”

Castiel smiled warmly. He nuzzled his nose against (Y/N)’s and grabbed the comforter. He draped it over their bodies. He shifted so their legs were tangled together, wrapped his arms around (Y/N)’s waist, and rested his forehead against his. He began to rub his back in small, slow circles, and (Y/N) could feel his body instantly relax.

“Get some sleep, Bumblebee. I promise I’ll keep you safe. I love you.” Castiel whispered, and his words alone sounded like a lullaby.

“I love you, too, Cas. So much.” (Y/N) mumbled back.

With the warmth of Castiel’s embrace, (Y/N) was quick to drift off once more with a new hope of content slumber.

*~*

Nothing. That was the best word he could use to describe where he was. It wasn’t dark, nor was it light. It wasn’t a basic abandoned warehouse, nor was it a location embedded in his memory. It was simply and utterly nothing. Although the implication of ‘nothing’ meant the absence of ‘something’. The question was: what was missing?

“Bumblebee?”

(Y/N)’s head perked up at the nickname. He began to look around but found no source. There was still nothing.

“I’m here, (Y/N).”

As he turned around, he was blinded by a bright light. He squinted and shielded his eyes. From the light, a heat radiated off of it and surrounded him like a blanket. He felt the urge to go to it as if a rope had wrapped itself around his waist and begun to pull. When he walked, he floated. His legs didn’t move. It was unknown what waited beyond the light, but whatever it was made him feel safe, loved, and wanted. Soon, the light engulfed him, and he was blinded once more.

When his vision was restored, he was welcomed to a sight he had never witnessed before. Yellow, sandy beaches surrounded by a deep blue ocean. The sun seemed to sit where it barely kissed the distant waves, giving the sky an orangish pink tone. In front of him sat a pier, one that he was no stranger to, yet he had only seen in movies and television shows. ‘Pacific Park’ was inscribed into the archway of the entrance. Behind it sat various theme park rides, all small in size, but worth the experience.

“(Y/N)?”

(Y/N) turned to his right to see Castiel, a small smile on his lips. He was uncertain at first, but once he saw the brilliance in his eyes, he relaxed and mirrored his smile. 

“Cas,” he breathed, reached over, and took his hand. “Is this the Santa Monica Pier?”

Castiel looked up at the archway and nodded. “I’ve been here once during my exploration of Earth, and you mentioned that you had never been here before.”

(Y/N) shook his head and pursed his lips. “I think I’ve only been to California a handful of times, most of which were up North near Red Bluff.” He said. “But why are we here?”

Castiel gave his hand a gentle squeeze and began to lead him down the pier. Unlike the true Santa Monica beaches, these were barren. Not a single soul resided on the pier or beach besides (Y/N) and Castiel. It would have been an eerie experience had it not been for the sound of the roaring sea.

“Your nightmares focused on memories, or memories of how Lucifer was, correct?”

“Right?”

“Well, I figured the best way to rid you of those memories is to create new ones while you dream.”

(Y/N) couldn’t stop the grin that spread across his lips. “Like a date?”

“Yes. A date.”

“So, what? You’re going to take me on a date every time I dream now?”

“If that’s what it takes to stop the nightmares and allow you to get some sleep then we will have dates every night while you dream for the rest of your life.”

(Y/N) stopped in his tracks and slowly pulled back on Castiel’s hand. Castiel looked back at him and tilted his head ever so slightly. (Y/N) grabbed Castiel’s other hand, brought both of them up to his lips, and kissed his knuckles.

“Castiel, you are the best boyfriend that anyone could ever ask for. I don’t deserve you.” He said.

“No, Bumblebee. You deserve the world. I would love to give it to you.”

(Y/N) reached up and cupped Castiel’s cheek. “I have my world right here.”

He pressed his forehead against Castiel’s. Their noses brushed against one another, then they kissed. It was short and sweet, but it held all their love and passion behind it. When they parted, they stared deeply at each other. 

“I love you, Cas.”

“I love you, too, (Y/N).”

(Y/N) beamed and dropped one of Castiel’s hands. He began to drag him towards the theme park rides.

“Now, come on! I’ve always wanted to ride these!”

Castiel followed at an even pace behind him, and he couldn’t help but feel the guilt and pain that had built up inside of him wash away. To see his partner shine with happiness was an experience he would not soon forget. He made it his mission, from then on out, to guarantee that every dream (Y/N) had would be just as wonderful, if not better, than the last. For, as long as they were together, Castiel pledged that nightmares would be a thing of the past, never to plague the mind of his beloved until the end of his days. 

[van-yangyin]

Simblreen 2024

I reblogged weeks ago but I say it officially in this post. This year I'm participing also in Simblreen event, although although this time I'm trying to organize myself better than last year.

You can know what's Simblreen here on their FAQ by @simblreenofficial

When?

Weekend 1: October 18th-20th Weekend 2: October 25th-27th

For which game will I be sharing treats? Custom Content for The Sims 4.

How many treats? I'm certainly not sure yet (I know, even with all the time I've had, I'm still on deep water. But having fun 😁), but at least one a week for sure! (at least two treats you will have! Three with variations if you don't mind trigger warnings) And maybe some hunt game! (but without trigger warnings)

Can you expect any trigger warnings? Yes, at the moment it's 100% sure that you will be able to find a head replacement and eyes. But whether it's scary or not, that's not for me to decide, it depends of each one. From my point of view it's not scary but funny, though. Any other trigger warning more I will say so in the official porchlights publications

What will my treats be? Mainly occults and spooky CC as usual for me tho. 😛 And maybe some conversion of another game (following the same themes). 👁️

How can you get my treats? During the days described above, I will turn on my porch lights and you will have to send me a message or ask (anon off, because otherwise I won't be able to send you a answer back with your treats), and I will send you a link where you can get your goodies! 🍭🍬 The treats will be sent in chronological order, and if you don't like any written trigger warnings you must specify it in the message/ask you send me. To all of you who participate if I get the message/ask you will receive an answer, so you won't have to worry about.

What kind of content can you expect from CC? You can expect to find CAS items, which for the event will only be avaliable for both frames from teen to elder age and maybe CC for some pets, once the event is over some of them will also be available for the other ages or even pets, and I will publish it for everyone. You can also expect some decoration for Buy Mode.

What’s the schedule? Mainly at afternoon and early night, UTC +02:00 time! (1st weekend and 25th-26th of 2nd weekend) and UTC+01:00 time! (Sunday 27th) As for if I do any hunt game on my Tumblr blog it can occur any day before November 1st. (For a whole day or several, which I'll post here on my Tumblr.)

When will everything be realease? I'm a pretty slow and perfectionist person, so I will try to go as fast as possible with public publications, the only thing I can say is that everything I'm going to do for this event will be available for everyone. On the bright side though, after 2nd weekend event I have time to get everything ready to launch for 30th and 31st! (tho no promises) So if you're shy and can't participate in the event you will still have all my treats. 🫶

I hope you all enjoy Simblreen event with me this year too! 💓 This is my second year participating! Happy Spooky Season guys! 💛🍀

(If you have any doubts or questions, don't hesitate to write me here belowon asks or on any of my social networks!)

[simkaswriting]

What if…Eris had danced with y/n instead?

A/N- Hi hi! This is a one shot from a series I'm currently writing for acotar, if you're interested in reading about other beloved characters like Cas, Az, Mor, Rhys and Lucien and their own 'what if' moments, make sure to check back❤️

Dull. That was the only word coming to mind when Y/N surveyed the large, cavernous room. The inner circle was paying their supposed yearly visit to the Court of Nightmares, according to the little information Mor let slip at the dinner table last night. It was not the lack of decorations, or even the monotonous colours throughout the room, but rather it was the fae that were dull. Music echoed around them all, hundreds of males and females clad in varying shades of grey and black talking quietly amongst themselves as if unaware of the festive holiday they were gathered to celebrate, yet only a handful indulged in the compelling music. Y/N stood quietly on the far end of the unintentional line the inner circle formed around the two thrones, right next to quiet Elain, who in turn was leaning lightly against Feyre’s throne. It wasn’t like she tried to blend into the background the way the Azriel’s shadows allowed him to, or that she stood out like a sore thumb the way Elain did with her exuberant energy and bright eyes. Nor did she entice every male the way her eldest sister did with her fierce glare and head held high. No, Y/N was simply just there. Startling in beauty, ferocious in demeanour, and quite frankly a little disappointed at what the Court of Nightmares regarded as a party. Which is perhaps what piqued the red headed Autumn Court male’s attention. Y/N, just standing off to the side yet not seeming lonely, almost as if placing an invisible barrier between herself and the rest of her new family. He wondered why she stood there instead of dancing with some lowly scum like the eldest sister did, hanging off the brute’s arm, though he was almost certain nobody in this room would dare ask her for a dance. If only out of fear of aggravating the High Lord sitting a few feet away.

An hour goes by with minimal conversation between Y/N and Elain, and even then, the words dry out due to her sisters’ fear of drawing attention to themselves. Mouth dry and legs slightly stiff from her unmoving position next to her sisters, Y/N quietly walks over to the large table coated with an array of refreshments, in search of something stronger than water to help the time flow a little faster. Her eyes narrow in on a bottle of red wine, from the Summer Court if the writing is anything to go by. She reaches for the bottle, fully intending to keep it all to herself, when a cedar and cinnamon smell fills her nostrils.

“If I may, I’d suggest this wine, call it a personal favourite and a matter of good taste.” The voice is deep yet oddly soft, so very out of place in this pit of despair surrounding her. It’s as if the tone caresses her.

Stomach in knots, Y/N looks up at the male next to her, and fights back the gasp that surely would have escaped her if she didn’t know better. A tall male clad in hues of green and brown stands next to her, holding a bottle of white wine which looks comically small in his large hand. His height has her almost subconsciously take a step back, looming over her like a bad omen she’s sure he is. His face is sculpted as if by the Mother herself, though she can tell he isn’t just a pretty face to look at by the red scar barely visible under the collar of his shirt. No fae male in the Court of Nightmares on this festive day is just a pretty face. Yet it’s the male’s fiery red hair, bright as if fire itself courses through it, that has Y/N repressing the urge to marvel at it and reach out to run her hand through the fiery locks.

She schools her expression into one of calm indifference instead, perhaps a second too late, and glances at the bottle in the stranger’s hand. Autumn court wine. Her arm falls back to rest at her side, now fully facing the mysterious male, even if it drives her heartbeat crazy and floods her mind with static.

“Good taste would be finding yourself in better company on this joyous night.” She draws out the latter half of her sentence in mockery. Yes, the winter solstice is a time of mirth and expressing appreciation for your loved ones in Velaris, at least from the rare glimpses she’s managed to steal. However, the holiday loses its meaning in the Court of Nightmares. Surely the red head has better options than spending his time in this joyless pit of despondency, attempting to strike up a conversation with the forgotten Archeron sister?

A haughty chuckle comes from him as he sets the wine down on the banquet table and extends his hand, an inkling of a bow following.

“I was hoping you could be that company. May I have this dance?”

She studies his hand, eyes raking over the large surface of his palm and following the veins as they disappear below his tunic, throat growing a little dry. Unsure of why she should say no, especially since she can already feel the tediousness of the next few hours seeping in, Y/N accepts the strangers offer.

Y/N feels eyes burning holes in her, through her, a sour pit churning in her stomach. With a surprisingly gentle touch, the red head draws their bodies together, chest to chest, his hand coming to rest on her lower back, placing himself between her and the inquiring eyes of the inner circle, much to her relief.

Is it such an issue for Y/N to dance with another male? Was she expected to stand by her sisters and the Illyrian males doubling as bodyguards all night, bored to the stars, and counting down the minutes until they could winnow her back to the House of Wind? Nesta and Cassian were enjoying themselves, Feyre and Rhysand were enamoured with each other, and Azriel and Elain were engaged in quiet conversation. So, what is the problem with Y/N enjoying the harmless company of this mysterious, and not to mention breathtakingly beautiful, fae male?

Placing her hand on his shoulder and the other in his hand, large and calloused from centuries of experience she could probably never even begin to comprehend, Y/N looks up at the male.

“How do you find yourself in this cesspool of ingrates on such a beautiful holiday? Surely the Autumn Court would be more…” She pauses, weighing the words on her tongue before letting them slip on a cloud of playfulness to her surprise.

“…favourable.”

Eris guides the two of them in wide circles, knowing he needs not pay attention to the other fae around. Only fools with a death wish would so much as approach the red head and Archeron sister. As his fingers brush across the exposed skin of lower back, the low-cut fabric of her dress revealing enough to please his eyes and send sparks up his fingers at each contact with her, he wonders if her skin is flush to the touch from this nausea-inducing pit or perhaps his proximity.

He hums in approval. Of what exactly, he isn’t sure, coherent thoughts slowly slipping out of his reach.

“You are correct. Though it seems fate would have it that I come here tonight. And what a lovely stroke of luck that I find myself in your company.” He purrs, voice low enough just for her and only her to hear.

He watches heat creep up her exposed neck and settle on the tips of her newly pointed ears with the hint of a smile playing on his lips. And he can’t help but wonder if that truly is the case. If the reason he turned down the invitation to his families own festive ball had something to do with fate, destiny, perhaps the Mother. If the stars intended for the two of them to end up in each other’s paths, each other’s arms.

Voice soft, fighting to keep her eyes on the male’s face despite feeling like the floor may open up and swallow her whole, she asks “May I at least know the name of my dance partner?”

A mischievous, silently knowing smile tugs at the males’ lips as he glances over his dance partners head with ease. Y/N knows who the teasing look was meant for, her High Lord, Feyre’s mate. But as fleeting as the moment is, his bright eyes find themselves looking into hers again.

“Eris. Eris Vanserra, General of the Autumn Court forces. Future High Lord of the Autumn Court. If you’d like the specifics.” His voice flows over her, teasing tone setting in as he finishes his sentence. His eyes are playful, low, and amused, as if he was in on a joke she wasn’t, as if she was some innocent pawn in a game the male who just declared himself the future High Lord of the Autumn Court was engaged in with Rhysand.

She rakes her brain for that missing piece of information, that last piece of the puzzle to really place this male. But instead of finding it within herself, she follows his gaze, fleeting as it was, only to find a tight-lipped Morrigan with eyes set on Y/N, icy and reticent, Azriel’s hand discreetly hovering behind her. To protect or hold her back, she isn’t sure. The cloudy aura around the blonde, usually strikingly orange in its hue, borders on coal as the two of them exchange a knowing look.

And that last puzzle piece clicks. The male whose hands are sending shivers up her spine at their contact with the exposed skin of her back is the same male Morrigan was betrothed to, if Y/N can trust the little information Nesta let slip during one of her drunken tirades, shut down mercilessly by Cassian before she could reveal more. An easy feeling creeps up to (Y/N)’s chest. She didn’t need to know the full story of what occurred between the two fae to arrive at the conclusion that it wasn’t pleasant. And that accepting his invitation to dance with him, with Eris Vanserra, despite initially not being aware of who this male was, may cost her upon the inner circles return to Velaris.

But his gentle hold on her as he leads them around the room with feet skilled beyond her expectations makes her wonder if there was more to him, more to this interaction, than some ulterior motive. More than thrusting a red-hot iron poker at Morrigan’s trauma and showing Rhys and Feyre that their inner circle was not untouchable, unreachable, unbreachable.

As if sensing her growing discomfort, Eris manoeuvres the two of them across the large, cavernous room, past the dancing fae, away from the prying eyes of the inner circle and towards the music. A risky move, they both know, but despite her newfound hesitation, she can’t help but feel thankful. And not just for removing her from yet another unsettling situation she always seems to find herself in with her sisters’ new family. But for reaching out his hand, for grasping her attention, for making her feel seen and alive for the first time since she emerged from the Cauldron desperate for more.

“I don’t know if you’re brave or just plain foolish, Eris Vanserra.” Y/N quips, eyes set on the liquid-like amber ones looking down at her, unmoving, almost challenging.

He wouldn’t be the first or last to try lay claim on the fourth Archeron sister. To try find footing, a doorway into the inner circle. The elusive Night Court. Sometimes Y/N thinks her sisters got it easy. Mated practically right out of the Cauldron, to three brothers no less. They wouldn’t understand the pressure pulling her down each day, the feeling of being a bargaining chip in Rhysand’s pocket, a way to establish or strengthen alliances in the centuries to come. A precious and valued position to fill in all the High Lord’s eyes.

His eyes remain on hers, unflinching, lips slightly curving at the corner at her tone. Eris had heard the rumours. The three sisters of the High Lady of the Night Court, submerged in the elusive depths of the Cauldron, each gifted, each more beautiful than the other. Three sisters on lockdown in the Night Court, two mated. And he would be lying if he denied any ulterior motives, however his existing alliance with Rhysand was questionable but firm, his eventual succession as High Lord all but guaranteed. He had no real need to court the female in his arms. Though, being betrothed to any member of the High Lord and Lady’s family would be a good union for any male, however, betrothal to a mysteriously gifted sister of the first High Lady of Prythian would result in a more powerful union than any other in history. And despite this thought percolating every other thought in his mind, he can’t help but feel like the Mother was trying to play some cruel joke on him. Like she created this woman turned fae just for him, with the way her body feels pressed against his, each movement of her hair sending her scent directly to his nose and nearly buckling his knees. Her smaller hand in his, fingers intertwined with his like their grooves were made just for him. Her bright eyes on his, and he thinks, for the first time in his life, he wouldn’t mind looking into them until time ceased to matter.

“Why not both, dear?” His question is rhetorical in nature, and with heat creeping up her neck she wonders. Could this male truly be evil incarnate if he looked at her like he was ready to worship the ground she walked on?

Hand in his, she blindly follows his lead, never having favoured ballroom dancing the way her eldest sister did. However, she can’t help but find herself drawn to the stranger who has her on her toes. The music carries the two around the room, spinning, floating across the cold emanating from the chiselled stone of the behemoth mountain, eyes never leaving each other. His grip on her body is firm yet gentle, the fire in her very core growing, and she wonders if it has something to do with the male’s heritage or her own gift. The two glide around the large poor excuse for a ballroom with carelessness, lost in a trance, ending up near Rhysand’s and Feyre’s thrones. They can feel eyes on them, burning with questions, accusations, the latter originating from the Truth Speaker herself. But to them, time seems to be still rather than flowing. Their own little undisturbed bubble.

“I can sense it, smell it.” Rhysand whispers into the crook of Feyre’s neck, just below her ear, eyes on his mate’s sister and the heir to the Autumn Court. It was obvious to him, to his brothers and Mor, a sickening sight, one that only seemed to make sense to the High Lord and Lady of the Night Court. Yet he wondered, with the cavern full of monstrous fae, how was the scent so permeating?

Feyre, chest heavy with disappointment but acceptance, nods. She can too. The tether between the two, the bond making itself known. And all she can do is watch as Eris dips her sister low, her hair grazing the ground, and places the ghost of a kiss to her throat.

A shockwave of pleasure washes over Y/N at the gentle pressure of his lips on her neck, the embers in her chest igniting and rising to a flame threatening to consume her whole. A tug in her chest, the fire she thinks, begs her to stay close, pull him back into her embrace and not let go. So, she follows her instinct and draws their bodies back together, closer this time, chests heaving against each other, her lips parted, and his eyes so focused on her he almost misses his own name spoken by Rhysand.

“Composure, Eris, please.” Rhysand purrs, examining his nails as if he hasn’t just witnessed the pairing in front of him all but seal their fate.

(Y/N)’s eyes widen. Not from fear or apprehension at the words of her sister’s mate. But rather from the crushing feeling of need weighing on her chest, need to be closer to this man she didn’t know existed before tonight, need to claw out Azriel’s eyes from the glare he’s throwing Eris, need to shield him with her own body from the threat she knows the inner circle poses.

Feeling the ripple in the air, the unmistakeable tug in his chest despite his unwavering fear of what it spells out for him, Eris gently lets go of her body, instead opting for placing a hand on her lower back, long fingers brushing out soft circles over the fabric of her black backless dress as he walks them the few steps it takes to stop at what he deems is an acceptable, safe, distance from Rhysand.

And before he can consider his words, really take in their weight and implications, they slip past his lips. “What do I need to do for her hand in marriage?”

Of course, Eris suspects the hold Rhysand possesses on all his inner circle members. But judging by the disdain in Y/N’s eyes he observed from the moment they arrived to the moment he approached her, Rhysand wasn’t too interested in this particular Archeron sister. Eris was intelligent, well versed in courtly socialite behaviours. He knew of the hoops he needed to jump through, pleasantries to exchange, even if they did not matter. He only really needed the confirmation from one fae, and it was the one his blood raced for, the fire within him craved.

“The choice is Y/N’s, of course.” Feyre chimes in, sharp eyes focused on her sister as she takes in the scene before her. Y/N’s look bordering on feral, fists clenched at her side, jaw rigid. And in her mind, Rhysand’s chuckle echoes, because she may not yet realise the obvious spark in the air.

The illusion of freedom Rhysand and Feyre paint is laughable, Y/N thinks. She always knew her sister to be cunning, and her mate turning out to be Rhysand was something nobody ever questioned, for all the right reasons. Two peas in a metaphorically corrupt pod. She swallows the hate threatening to spew through her clenched jaw, her heart threatening to break her ribcage if it beat any faster at the words of the male next to her. She knew of the courtly games, had been living their nightmare from the moment the cauldron let her take and take and still gifted her with more, knew his words were really just a necessity. And, with bone chilling horror, realized that the entirety of the Court of Nightmares was gawking at them. But the steady and reassuring hand on her back brings her to reality.

Head held high, knowing if she is to accept Eris’s proposal she will become a significant pawn in Rhysand’s game, she thinks that it would all be worth it if she gets to fall asleep in the arms of the stranger who somehow found the sliver of life left in her and pulled it to the surface. She feels, deep down, that marriage will be just a formality for whatever connection she’s feeling between the two of them. His question isn’t something she has to ponder over.

“Yes.” Her voice echoes around the cavern, loud and clear and heard by all.

She doesn’t miss the slight smirk on Rhysand’s lips, the kind look in Feyre’s eyes, the betrayal laced with defeated understanding on Mor’s face. Y/N knows the fiery haired male is on shaky terms with the inner circle at best, for reasons she hopes to understand, but some innate part of her feels whatever grievances will be aired, she will not be moved from his side.

“Congratulations, lovely Y/N. May this union be blessed by the Mother.” Rhysand hums, voice low, double-edged sword that is his tongue savouring the moment. As his eyes meet the amber of the eldest Vanserra brother, he can’t help but grin, because he knows. Eris knows that that hum in the air is, that fire in his chest. Reigning in his smirk, Rhysand sends a quick prayer to the Mother, thinking that Eris may need it if he is to survive by Y/N’s side.

Y/N lightly bows her head, an inch, just enough to show her gratitude for the sake of the onlookers. And before any other fae has the opportunity to pluck up the courage and approach the newly engaged pair, Eris is already gently leading her to the edge of the grand hall, hand still on her back.

“How would you like to sample some of that Autumn Court wine in your new home, my dear (Y/N)?” Eris purrs, lips brushing against the shell of her ear. And the scent that permeates his nose, one of want and need and anticipation, is the only answer he needs as the shadows grow around the two. As the pair winnows, she thinks that perhaps the festivities will be more joyful next year with Eris by her side.  

[scrub456]

INKTOBER DAY 5: JOYFUL: Supernatural

This is a belated birthday gift for @imnova, and there's a short story under the cut. Sorry it's so late! And sorry if your boys are out of character, as I'm not in this fandom, but for you I tried! 💙

Thanks to @bluebellofbakerstreet for the prompt!

Title: "Celestial Influence"

“I'm starving!” Dean exclaimed, slamming the fridge door, unsatisfied with the sparse contents.

“You could make a grocery run for once,” Sam suggested, not looking up from the ancient, dusty book he was flipping through.

“Ugh,” Dean groaned as he rifled through a cabinet. He stopped short when he spotted a beautifully decorated birthday cake, depicting an intricate design of stars, under a fancy crystal cloche, sitting in the middle of the table.

“Sam, where did this…” He turned quickly and crashed right into a stunned Castiel. “Holy shit, where did you come from?”

Castiel turned his eyes heavenward, “Well…”

“No, not what I meant,” Dean interrupted. “Just, you gotta stop sneaking up on a guy like that.”

“I didn't mean to startle you,” he laid a hand on Dean's shoulder apologetically.

“I'm not startled.” Dean narrowed his eyes. “You didn't scare me.”

“‘The lady doth protest too much, methinks.’” Sam marked his place and stood with a stretch. “Hey, Cas. Who got cake?”

“Oh, right to the matter at hand.” Castiel lifted the cloche with a flourish. “Happy birthday, Dean,” he announced matter-of-factly.

“Um, it’s not my birthday,” Dean replied, glancing at Sam for support. Sam shrugged, raising an eyebrow.

Castiel tilted his head, a sign of his confusion. “I consulted the new astrological signs. Apparently, there’s been a recent shift that alters our understanding of celestial influences. It appears you have a new birthday. Congratulations.”

Dean crossed his arms, skepticism written all over his face. “New birthday? So you’re telling me that because of some cosmic change, I’m suddenly a year older?”

“Not just you, Dean,” Castiel said, stepping closer. “Everyone’s birthdays have been recalibrated. Mine is now on July 24th.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Sam interjected gesturing to the cake. “So you’re saying… You made Dean a birthday cake?”

“Yes,” Castiel replied, looking pleased with himself.

“Well. Isn't that precious?” Sam smirked and moved to grab plates and cutlery. “It's nice, right Dean? Super sweet.”

Dean rubbed his temples, feeling the weight of yet another potential supernatural mess on his shoulders… Yes, that's what it was. And not any other sort of feeling or… emotion. “So we've had some sort of astrological realignment, and your first thought was cake?”

“Cake is a form of celebration,” Castiel insisted, his tone earnest. “It brings joy and recognizes the importance of friendship.”

“Joy? Friendship?” Dean shook his head. “Not sure where you've been…”

Castiel once again turned his eyes heavenward.

“Not what I meant,” Dean rolled his eyes. “I'm just saying, we don't get much joy around here, if you haven't noticed.”

“Hmm, you make a valid point,” Castiel said, his expression deadpan.

“No time like the present, right?” Sam pulled the cake to him and started to cut into it.

“We're just going to skip over the fact that there's been a reality altering celestial shift, and just… eat cake?” Dean took the offered plate and glared at it as if it had personally offended him.

“You were the one whining about being hungry not even two minutes ago. Say thank you to Cas and eat your cake, birthday boy. We'll be knee deep in the consequences of this cosmic disaster soon enough.” Sam handed Castiel a plate and then took a bite of his own slice. “That's really good, Cas.”

“Fine.” Dean let out a weary breath. “Thank you very much for the cake, Cas.”

“Cheers!” Castiel grinned and tossed a handful of glittery confetti at Dean.

“Oh, for fu-” Dean grumbled as he slumped into a chair and cut into his cake. “Next time, make it pie.”

[shallowseeker]

Yes, yes. We've talked about the futility of windmills and striving wind with regards to all hunters, workers, and soldiers.

But there are other things in this hotel that are SO CUTE.

Dean and Cas are very often twinned by their morals and values. You could say that they're very often tilting at the same "windmills." Struggling with many of the same things, albeit at different timelines.

There's also...flowers in the decor.

LOTS of flowers.

Prominent yellow flowers in the bedroom appear between them, symbolizing pesky, bubbling happiness between the two of them.

There's often this concept of "blooming" between Dean and Cas. Springtime. Hell, we can even point to Dean's dance number in s15, "Let's Misbehave," originally written for Irene Bordini.

(They say the Spring Means just one thing to little lovebirds // We're not above birds // Let's misbehave)

There's April Kelly, the reaper, and also the Leviathan blossom (that grows OUT of death). An association to Lily Sunder and her daughter May, born after spring, as Jack will be born in May.

Dean himself is like a valley of death, but ALSO a valley proper, with the capacity for growth and spring-green, and it is this that associates him to many of the Lily characters, like Lily Baker.

Anyhoo, this cute motel is mirroring the blossoming friendship. It's full of Netherlands motifs, including the windmills but also tulips and blooms. The low-lying land of the Netherlands is what makes tulips flourish there.

Later The Empty will "tiptoe through Cas's tulips" as it reads his mind (and his love).

As Dean is undergoing individuation, he too is blooming.

And wooden shoes.

There's an abundance of tulips flanking the bathroom, sprouting up alongside the Dean side, over near the couch. On what will become "the Cas side" of the domestic space... shoes.

Dean is trying not to feel things. Cas is trying not to feel things.

///

Anyway, when Cas asks for help, he gets in REEEEEALLY close again:

And Dean gets a little nervous again, shifts, slightly pouts his lips and then cracks a joke:

They've been so mean to each other. Hehe.

After all, Cas's immediate reaction to seeing Sam and Dean again was to lay into them about being failures and not worth the effort and rebellion he put into them, so Dean's cattiness is understandable here.

It's tense. Awkward.

They've been disagreeing with each other and telling each other how they've lost faith in one another and don't believe in each other's plans...which oddly is EXACTLY the sort of emotional honesty that will make their bond stronger.

They keep orbiting each other, walking around and around each other in circles, and moving into each other's spaces. Even without the dialogue, the body language is interesting.

Cas is trying to read him, to figure out the human rules of him not being allowed to move threateningly into Dean's space, but Dean being allowed to move into his ... plus Dean making off cultural references that involve HOLDING HANDS and sailing off cliffs.

Then brushing past him so closely, and what exactly ARE the rules for personal space? Also, we see the yellow flowers between them here.

Dean may be under the impression that Cas doesn't care about him that much. That he helped him on a moral whim and now he's stuck with him/them.

And they're very close to one another again. Dean is fishing for information. "I'm your strategical bait, huh? That's all?"

And Dean relents.

///

So anyway, the body language is legendary for a reason, but the flowers are such a nice backdrop. :DDD

Aside///

I love how Cas just marches in on the Cas and tries to be frank with everyone.

Poor Cas. Just a mere hundred or couple hundred years ago, this would've worked. He really COULD march in there and start talking angels and demons with some authority, might have even been able to tell them that he was an angel.

What we call the modern world is still so new. We as a species have believed in supernatural worlds for so much longer than we haven't.

And Dean just... can't help getting into Cas's personal space. I find that so cute about him. He establishes the norms of personal space and then he proceeds to fiddle with Cas's clothes. Meanwhile Cas is just like ????? wow human rules are so illogical.

*Dean fiddling*

Dean, honey. I promise you that if you'd handed Cas the badge, he would've grabbed it somewhat normally.

///

Dean *fiddling with his own badge and coat and steadfastly NOT looking at Cas's face*

*can't resist*

Aside/// I love so much that SPNwin poked fun at THIS in particular (as well as SPNwin's John making silly voices).

Sighting on main: Man with a nascent, burgeoning mega-crush tries to make rules about personal space and then winds up being even weirder about space than the person he was accusing of not adhering to normal human etiquette...

DEAN: *buttoning, buttoning, I know I'm taking a while to button this, pay it no mind. now imma fix your tie...*

[sterina-sims]

Sul sul! I'm living for your medieval charter posts. Could you please explain how the challenge works? And possibly how to set up such a flawless medieval style neighborhood? Thank you 😃

Sul sul! 😊 Thank you so much! I'm thrilled that you're enjoying my medieval charter posts. Ok, this is a daunting question, but I'll do my best to explain how the challenge works!

How the Challenge Works

First off, here's the MTS thread from the original creator of the challenge. I've also re-uploaded the document here for convenience/easy reading.

The Medieval Charter Challenge is all about building a medieval-style community from the ground up. You start with a small group of sims and gradually expand your neighborhood, adding different types of lots and families as you meet specific goals. Here's a quick rundown:

Create Your Founders: In CAS, create a Royal Steward (single Sim; they won't be played until a monarch is crowned), 4 peasant families, 2 yeoman families, and 1 gentry family (the head of this household will be the Squire). Move any secondary adult males into their own homes within the same social station, and assign farming and artisan trades accordingly. Create 1 group of 4-8 adult males (military barracks) and another of 4-8 adult females (almshouse), as a pool of eligible sims for marriage.

Seasonal Play and Taxes: Play each family for one season, stopping at the first Quarter Day (this is the first day of a season) to assess and pay taxes, tithes, rent, fees, and fines to the Royal Steward using Christianlov’s Wallet Controller.

Growing Your Settlement: Track the Treasury Funds. When the total reaches $5000, add a communal well, village green, and hedge tavern. At $8000, add a church with a cemetery and a weekly market.

Leveling Up: The levels are as follows: settlement (starting point) -> hamlet -> village -> town -> charter city. Each level has fiscal and infrastructural requirements, as seen above. As you continue through the challenge, you collect enough taxes to build the necessary lots and add more families, thereby growing the settlement. The challenge is completed once you reach the level of charter city and crown a monarch.

Setting up Your Medieval Hood

Use the Lot Bin: With regards to building, create 1 peasant hovel, 1 yeoman house/farm, 1 gentry manor, and so on. Save these residential lots to the Lot Bin for future instances when you'll need the required type of home. There is A LOT of building that goes with the challenge, so save yourself the trouble by doing this. The lots can be personalized for each household afterwards.

Communal Spaces (pro tip!): This is my nth time doing this challenge, and so, I suggest staring off with a village green or communal well (or both). It goes against the original MCC rules, but I say this because it gives your sims can have a place to meet and mingle with other settlers, and a break from monotony of staring at the same four walls.

Hood Decor: Hood decor is truly fabulous and can completely change the look of your neighborhood. I would suggest deco grass, deco rocks and cliffs, deco fields and/or flower fields, especially if excessive tree use slows down your game.

Custom Content: Invest in some good medieval custom content, including clothing, furniture, and architecture. Sites like Plumb Bob Keep, Mod The Sims, and Tumblr creators have lots of medieval-themed downloads. I have listed the majority of the mods, hacks, and custom content on my side blog's resource page.

I hope this helps you get started! Feel free to ask if you have more questions, and I'd love to see your progress if you decide to give it a try. Happy simming! 😃

[nikatyler]

🎄 Advent SIMSlendar 2023 🎄

It's my favourite time of the year, so I'm back with another challenge! At first, I was planning this to be just a CAS challenge, but then I thought: why not let everyone approach the prompt as they like? Make new sims, make over old ones, build, decorate rooms, create edits or lookbooks, maybe a little bit of everything or something entirely different? It's all up to you, just have fun this holiday season.

Just like with my previous challenges, you can start posting whenever you’d like! But since I had an advent calendar in mind for this challenge, I’m personally starting on December 1st and will end on December 24th. And, you don’t have to do all the prompts if you don’t feel like it. You can change their order too!

Feel free to tag your posts #adventsimslendar2023 for everyone to see! (I promise I'll try to check it regularly and reblog everything this time around.)

Prompts are transcribed under the cut.

Snowflake

Red & Green

Mistletoe

Elf

Naughty List

Carol

Angel

In the Mountains

Shining Bright

Grinch

Holiday Party

Little One

Gingerbread

Silver & Blue

A Good Child

Candy Cane

Sweater

Tropical

Animal Friend

Holiday Movie

Winter Night

Gold & Red

Present

Free Space

[networksupported]

@not-another-parable // X

cas has been lingering by the doorway, just... watching her. there's something utterly unreadable to his blank white gaze-- then she mentions her 'darling dearest', and he pulls such a face that it shatters the moment entirely.

he'd suspected somehow that this might be where the conversation would head- largely because he knows full well that if you gathered all the occupants of the office into one room, closed your eyes, span around a bit, and pointed your finger at a random person, chances are that they would wind up being someone rex had pursued at least some kind of romantic relationship with.

chances are that person would not be particularly ‘wonderful’, either.

but if he knows one thing about mary, it's that she knows that.

> what a shame. me, yknow, now, i might bite.

he volunteers instead, and, with that (and the knowledge there was no such thing as ‘undercooked’, when it came to his tastes), cas approaches the desk. his own footsteps are silent, utterly so, and though he seems causal enough about the action, he's making no effort to hide the fact he's balancing on the balls of his feet like a rabbit about to run.

but he sits- quite dutifully- on his allocated seat, and after a second or two, pulls a cookie from the plate.

> i hope that was okay to do. i mean, i'm taking it that this isn't exactly a decorative platter of baked goods.

> then again, i have run into weirder concepts. like some of the people your darling dearest surrounds himself with.

> who, for what it's worth, you don't have to be polite about in here. i promise.

[aylacavebear]

Retribution Chapter 11

Summary: You had DID for most of your life, over forty years, since you were two. It wasn't until after you were forty-three that you were finally able to heal it and become a singular. You're a hunter and have been with Dean for a very long time. Once you become singular, you have to face the horrors that your mental illness subjected on those you cared about, loved. Can you get past seeing yourself as worse than any monster you've ever hunted down?

Pairing is Dean Winchester x Reader/You

Warnings: Talk of DID - Dissociation Identity Disorder (AKA MPD), Mental Health Issues, Angst, Healing (yes, this is a warning), DnD (Dungeons & Dragons), Alters being "dead" and grieving, depressed Dean.

Please, if you suffer from any mental illness, seek help. There are people out there who can help you get through it, no matter how alone you feel now or how hard it may seem.

A/N: This is going to be very dark, darker than anything I've written thus far. It will include many triggers - abuse both sexual and physical - in memories and what happens to the reader. I'm hoping it will have a happy ending but right now, I am not sure where this will go. This is your main warning before you begin reading. A/N: Dreams and Memories are indented in italics. Thoughts are in italics only.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 11 - A Peace You Didn’t Know Was Possible

I can’t believe it’s been six months, you thought while sipping a cup of coffee, still wrapped up in a blanket on the couch, watching the fire in the fireplace. The first few months had been hard, especially as the holidays came and went. You’d cried yourself to sleep often, but most of the tears had finally stopped nearly a month ago.

The brothers had even messaged you, Sam, more than Dean. When you and Dean texted back and forth, it usually ended with him upset in one form or another. At first, you blamed yourself for his pain but had learned how to heal that, so you were able to stop blaming yourself for his pain and heartbreak. 

What Dean had said that had hit you hard near the beginning when the two of you spoke, was that even with the forty years he had spent in hell, it was a walk in the park compared to the twenty years he’d been with them. That one stuck with you for months afterward.

On the other hand, Sam had actually begun talking to you, asking you questions, and trying to get to know you. You found it odd in the beginning, the way his curiosity came out in his texts, but you had made the choice just to be yourself now. You had nothing to hide from anyone anymore and always chose honesty, even if it would hurt.

As far as the cabin went, you’d packed away a lot of what had been there. Things like the toys, some of the clothes, decorations that were set about, and anything that reminded you of the relationship between them and Dean. The pictures were the hardest to look at, so those went as well.

All the holidays had been hard, but it was Dean’s birthday that hurt the most. The one thing he’d always wanted from your personalities was to get a blow job the morning of his birthday before ever getting out of bed. It was something that they never did due to the mean ones always taking over.

You’d spent a month working on coupons for him and writing something on the card you’d picked out at the store. These were the things you wanted to do with him, but then you felt stupid again that you loved him when you weren’t them. You even called Cas and asked him to deliver it for you. That way, even the postage of where it came from didn’t give away your location.

In the card, you included two of your favorite pictures of the two of you, from moments that brought happiness when you looked at them. The two of you talked after he’d gotten it, but the call ended with more tears from both of you, and you didn’t speak again for nearly two months.

Today, though, Charlie and Eileen were coming by. They had come by once before, and it was nice to have them over. When they kept your little retreat a secret, and the brothers didn’t show up, you knew you could fully trust them.

“You two turned off your GPS, right?” you asked as they sat down in the living room.

“Yup. Don’t need them finding this place. We promised, remember,” Charlie chuckled, “I brought the DnD stuff, if you’re still interested.”

You got them some water and sat down in the chair adjacent to the couch, “That could be fun. Eileen, are you gonna play too?”

“Sure. Charlie didn’t stop talking about it the whole drive,” Eileen laughed, rolling her eyes playfully.

“I’ll go get the books,” Charlied said excitedly.

That was her thing: games, role-playing, LARPing, and having a fantasy adventure. You wanted to at least try it out, DnD. She’d explained it to you through text, phone calls, and emphatically on her last visit.

Six hours later…

Charlie was laughing too hard to keep up being what she called the Dungeon Master. You and Eileen’s characters had tamed a young dragon, and due to botching rolls, the adolescent male dragon was now in love with both of you.

“Now what do we do with it?” Eileen asked, looking at you.

That only made Charlie lose it in another fit of laughter. This was her element, but you two were the best people she had ever been a DM for, as any and all seriousness had flown completely out the window.

“I don’t know,” you replied, grabbing the book off the floor that had the monster information in it and flipping through it until you found the one about the dragon. That was when your eyes went wide.

“What?” Eileen asked, only making Charlie laugh again.

“Charlie, next time, you could warn us before we do something this stupid,” you grumbled after reading the little warning under its stats.

“What?” Eileen asked again.

“You’re not gonna like it. Either we find it a mate, or, umm…” you trailed off, glancing up at Eileen as Charlie completely lost it in a fit of laughter, falling back on the couch and nearly falling on the floor.

“I’m not mating with a dragon,” Eileen said flatly, glaring at Charlie, who was still laughing so hard she was barely making any noise at this point.

“Charlie, if you don’t take a minute to breathe, you’re going to pass out,” you stated flatly, doing your best not to laugh at how funny she looked. Her laughter was infectious when she got like this.

The more the situation in the game played through your mind, and the more you saw Charlie laughing like she was, the more you couldn’t help laughing. Even Eileen joined in. It took the three of you nearly a half hour to gain any sort of composure. Every time any of you looked down at the DnD stuff on the table, laughter would erupt from one of you, then all of you, all over again.

“Why don’t we pick this up tomorrow,” you told them, still chuckling as you went to the kitchen to get some dinner going.

“It’ll give you two time to figure out what to do about that dragon,” Charlie chuckled as she began cleaning up the DnD stuff with Eileen’s help.

You pulled out the chicken you’d had marinating in the fridge, put it in the oven, and then got the sides ready to cook in a half hour. The girls joined you in the kitchen, with Charlie pulling three beers out of the fridge and handing them out. You leaned against the counter and popped the top while the girls sat at the table.

“Have you spoken to the boys?” Eileen asked.

You looked down at the beer in your hand and sighed, “About two weeks ago, I spoke with Dean through text. Sam messaged me yesterday.”

“Any headway on anything?” Charlie asked.

“Sam seems to be coming around the more we talk. He hasn’t gone off on me in a couple months now, and he’s asking me questions like he’s trying to get to know me,” you answered quietly, not really wanting to talk about Dean.

“What about Dean?” Eileen asked, and you sighed.

“I don’t know. Sometimes, we have great talks, and I feel like we might be getting somewhere, but…” you paused and took a swig of your beer, “...most times, we both cry, and it ends with him seeming more upset than before we started talking. Then, we don’t talk for a while. I probably won’t hear from Dean for at least another week with how our last conversation ended.”

“I wish there was something we could do to help,” Eileen told you sympathetically.

You shrugged, “He’s got to deal with his own stuff in his own way. I don’t know if anyone can help him through it.”

Charlie decided it was time to change the subject, “Any more monsters come through?”

“There was a couple vamps about a month ago. Boy were they surprised when they found out I was a hunter,” you chuckled, thankful for the topic change.

“Have you thought about going back to hunting, even part-time?” Eileen asked curiously.

Again, you shrugged and sipped your beer, “I don’t want to run into the brothers out there. I think that’s really the only thing stopping me from going back.”

“You could come with us, and Cas can let us know whether they know about the case we work or not. We could find a way so that we never crossed paths with them,” Charlie suggested.

“I’ll think about it, but I might need a couple more months before I’m ready,” you answered, letting her offer tickle its way through your mind.

They spent almost a week at your cabin. The three of you laughed a lot playing DnD, and luckily, your characters had found the dragon a mate. They didn’t bring up the brothers again, even when either of them messaged them. It was one of the happiest weeks you’d had around people. It was an emotional goodbye, but the three of you promised to stay in contact with each other.

When Sam’s birthday rolled around, you texted him a ‘Happy Birthday’ but left it at that. Neither of the brothers celebrated holidays or birthdays, but since Sam had been dating Eileen, he’d at least thought more about them. You hadn’t heard from Dean since before the girls had visited and you always refused to ask Sam about him.

It wasn’t until the small pack of werewolves passed through that you decided to go back to hunting. It was hard taking the five of them down on your own, but silver bullets from a distance had been the only thing that saved your life that night. An hour later, you were texting Charlie.

“I’m in. Where are you and Eileen?” 

“Oddly enough, Prison Farm, Montana. Your neck of the woods. We were tracking down some werewolves.”

You laughed so hard you had to take a moment to catch your breath before you returned a text to her.

“lol I just took down five of them outside my cabin.”

“So not fair. That was the pack we were tracking. You want to meet us at the motel, or should we pick you up?”

“Depends. Am I riding with you two or taking my car?”

“Good point. We’ll be there in an hour.”

You chuckled to yourself. “See you shortly.”

While waiting for them to arrive, you retrieved your hunting supplies, packing both your weapons and personal bag. There was some mild anxiety about getting back to hunting, but it was time. You’d done all the healing you could do in your sanctuary. This was the next thing you had to face.

The girls spent the night before the three of you headed out in the morning. The cabin now empty and quiet. Dark windows met your gaze as you looked back one last time before it disappeared behind the sea of trees.

The Brother’s POV

“When was the last time you talked to her?” Sam asked as he went through different newspapers online, looking for another case.

“Couple months, I think,” Dean answered plainly, “Find anything yet?”

“There was something in Montana, but Eileen told me she and Charlie handled it. There might be something in Nevada. Looks like a vengeful spirit,” he replied, scrolling the newspaper article.

“Well, if it turns out it is a case, let me know,” Dean said, then went to his room.

He’d moved your things to your room, and now his room felt empty, even though he’d filled those spaces with other things. He opened the night table drawer and pulled out the two pictures you’d sent him in his birthday card.

Why’d she have to send these? 

They were his favorite pictures, and he had thought they’d been lost in the transition from living out of the Impala and motels to living in the bunker. Tears slipped silently down his cheeks as he stared at them.

I miss them…

Dean knew they were gone, and they’d never come back. He’d wished he had a body to burn, to say goodbye to, but he didn’t. All he had was you now, in the body they’d inhabited since he’d met them. 

You were too much like her and too much not like the mean ones that it broke his heart to talk to you. He wanted to hate you for taking them away from him, for making his life feel empty again. 

I might have chosen to endure the abuse if I knew they’d all be gone like this.

He felt like there was a hole where his heart used to be now. The knock on his door pulled him from his thoughts as he wiped the tears quickly away, “Come in.”

Dean tried to hide the pictures, but Sam saw them and sighed, “It’s a case. We can leave whenever.”

Sam wanted to say something to his brother, but right now, there was nothing he could say that wouldn’t cause another fight. The last one had almost gotten physical, and he wasn’t in the mood to deal with it today.

“I’ll be out in five,” Dean replied as Sam left to get ready.

Sam sighed as he packed his things. He’d already apologized to you for how he’d treated you. The fact that you had forgiven him made his guilt eat at him these days, especially when Dean got like this. He wasn’t sure that taking this case was such a good idea, but Dean needed to get out of the bunker.

Your POV

You and the girls made it to the motel in a small, backwater town in Nevada shortly before sunset. It was hot, and you quickly learned that you weren’t a fan of the desert. When you got out of the car and stretched your legs, you tied your red flannel around your waist, thankful you were wearing a tank top.

“I hope this goes quickly. It’s fucking hot here,” you sighed when the three of you grabbed your bags.

“Should just be a simple salt and burn,” Eileen told you as Charlie went to check the three of you in.

“I hope so,” you remarked, looking around. 

The place looked practically deserted, and most of the buildings looked run down or boarded up. There weren’t even very many trees, and the ones that were there looked pitiful and in desperate need of water. 

“Got us a room,” Charlied piped in as she returned to the car.

“God, I hope the air conditioner works,” you groaned, then followed her to the room.

“Are you gonna complain the whole time we’re here?” Eileen teased you playfully.

“Just when we’re outside and away from the ac,” you chuckled.

The three of you got settled in and hopped on research. So far, no one had died, yet. It was just weird stuff, and it was all surrounding one of the houses on the edge of the small town. People there stayed away from it. It was tourists the locals were worried about.

“That house goes back to the eighteen hundreds. Says here that it was one of the first houses built for a wealthy family that owned the mine before the gold vein dried up,” Charlie told the two of you as she continued reading from her laptop.

“Does it say who died there?” Eileen asked before you could.

“A few people died there. The first one was the wife of the wealthy family. Then, if anyone moved in there, the husband died mysteriously. It’s been empty for over a hundred years,” Charlie answered, her eyes still scanning the screen.

“Sounds like a simple salt and burn. Does it say where she was buried?” you asked, and Eileen gave you a playful glare since you got the question in before she could. It had become a game for the two of you.

Charlie was quiet as she read, then her eyes lit up, “According to this, the cemetery behind the house. Let’s hope her spirit isn’t attached to anything else that we’d have to go looking for.”

“Let’s hope,” you sighed, “We should probably wait till after dark to head over there, though. Plus, we should be safe as long as we don’t go in the house.”

“So, what should we do for the next three hours before it gets dark here?” Eileen asked.

“There’s a bar. We could hang out there,” Charlie piped in with her mischievous smirk.

“You lookin’ to get lucky or something?” you teased her.

“Just because you two-” Charlie began, then quickly stopped herself and looked back at her laptop. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean to.”

“If you wanna go, Eileen and I can always play some pool and have a beer or two. You can have some fun. Remember, that stuff doesn’t bother me. Dean’s gonna do what he’s gonna do. Just because I still see him as my boyfriend doesn’t mean you should stop yourself from having fun,” you told her softly.

You’d come to terms with a lot of things over the last almost year. Dean had never actually broken up with you or told you it was over. So, you conducted yourself as if the two of you were still a couple.

“I’d like to play pool. It would be fun,” Eileen added, giving you and Charlie a mischievous grin.

“The bar it is, then,” Charlie said excitedly, closing her laptop.

There was one bar, and although it was a Friday night, it wasn’t packed, but it was decently busy for a small town. The three of you got beer and then headed over to play pool. The three of you were laughing and having a grand ol’ time. You all even got hit on by a few different men there. 

Charlie had found that hilarious, especially when they hit on her, and she informed them that she was into the waitress. You and Eileen were a little nicer about it than that, simply telling them that you two already had boyfriends.

The Brother’s POV

“This place sucks, Sam,” Dean groaned, sipping whiskey at a table near the back of the bar.

“Why?” Sam asked, enjoying his beer.

“It’s hot, and all they play on the jukebox is country music,” he grumbled.

“You could always hustle some pool. You used to have fun doing that,” Sam suggested, chuckling to himself.

“Pretty sure nobody here is drunk enough to get hustled,” he complained, downing his drink.

“Fine. If you were going to be this grumpy, I could have just given the case to someone else,” Sam teased him. He’d been trying to get Dean in a better mood for months, but it was always the same with him, and Sam was having a hard time dealing with it. 

Dean grumbled again before going to the bar for a refill. Then he glanced over at the pool tables, raising an eyebrow. He noticed the woman bent over the pool table, taking a shot, and he liked what he saw. He hadn’t flirted with anyone since you’d left, and this woman’s ass, in those jeans, reminded him of you, and he couldn’t help himself.

“Hey there, Sweetheart. Need some help handling that stick of yours,” he asked the woman.

He noticed her freeze and not turn to look at him, “I have a boyfriend,” she told him quietly.

“Well, where is this boyfriend of yours?” he asked playfully, not even recognizing your voice.

The woman stiffened as she stood up and slowly turned around, “He’s standing in front of me, but apparently, he thinks differently.” she said coldly before throwing the pool stick on the table and walking out of the bar.

Dean was dumbfounded. The first time, he figured he’d try to perhaps move on, and he ends up flirting with you, of all people. The thing that hit him the hardest was that you said you had a boyfriend. When you had DID, you wouldn’t have given that answer, as some of your personalities had been up for just about anything, with just about anyone. He quickly snapped out of his shock, setting his drink down and running after you, finding you heading toward the only motel in the small town.

“Y/N, wait. It’s not… Damnit!” he grumbled before finally catching up with you and grabbing your arm so you’d stop and look at him.

You spun around, and Dean saw the hurt in your eyes. You didn’t even look angry, just hurt. “Just tell me you don’t want me, and you’ll never have to see me again,” you told him sadly, as the tears had already started falling.

Neither of you noticed Sam, Eileen, and Charlie watching the two of you from a safe, hidden distance, praying that things would go well.

“I can’t,” Dean sighed, letting go of your arm and looking down at the ground.

“Why?” you asked quietly.

“Can we do this somewhere else?” he asked, just as quietly as you had been.

He looked up long enough to see you shrug your shoulders and start walking down the road, “Sure,” you told him sadly.

He watched you pull out your phone and text someone, so he texted his brother to handle the ghost by himself and that if Sam had planned this, he was going to kill him. It was an empty threat, and his brother knew that.

Your POV

Hearing him behind you at the pool table, flirting with you like you were some stranger, had hurt more than the conversations with him had. And now, he said he couldn’t let you go. You texted the group chat you had with Eileen and Charlie and told them that if they set this whole thing up, you’d be hunting alone after this.

You didn’t wait to get a text back before shoving your phone into your back pocket. This wasn’t how you’d wanted things to go if you ever saw him again. You’d hoped he would ask you to come back to the bunker, that he wanted to get to know you now that you were healed. But that hadn’t happened, and now this.

The last thing you wanted to do was end up in a bad conversation in the middle of the street, so you were leading him to an abandoned building you had noticed earlier in the day. He silently followed you, staying a few feet behind you. 

You walked around back, finding a door missing from the hinges, so you went inside that way. You found a mostly clean spot in one of the rooms to sit down and lean against the wall. Dean sat next to you, but not too close.

There was a tense silence between the two of you while Dean collected his thoughts, attempting to figure out how to answer the question you had asked him earlier. 

“You remind me of them. I miss them. If I have to be honest, it’s not fair. They’re gone, but at the same time, they’re not. You’re like them. Hell, it’s the same body,” he finally answered you quietly, barely keeping his emotions in check.

“You’re right. It’s not fair,” you began quietly, staring at the floor, “It’s not fair that I have their memories, that I fell in love with you harder than I even have words for. It’s not fair that all I want to do is love you, but all you see is them, not me.”

There was a lot more you wanted to say. You wanted to remind him how your personalities and he had talked about celebrating if you ever managed to heal from the DID. The plans the two of you had made if that ever happened. 

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

There was a long silence again, and it wasn’t helping your thoughts from overthinking. You fidgeted with a piece of paper on the floor, trying to find something to distract you through the deafening silence that had filled the room.

“I don’t know how to do this. See you and not them. I don’t know how to be around you because of how I want to be around them. I just…” he sighed and leaned his head against the wall, staring off at nothing in particular.

You wanted to give him suggestions, but you’d done that through calls and texts, and he hadn’t seemed to like any of them or want to do them. Your mind wandered back to the bar earlier, and if you had to admit it to yourself, you were thankful it went the way it did. The worst case would have been if you’d seen him with another woman, and you knew that.

“I don’t even know how to talk to you,” he finally added quietly.

For a while, you thought about how to help with the situation that you hadn’t suggested already, and that’s when an idea struck you. “What if we treat each other the way we want to?”

You barely glanced over at him, only enough to see him out of the corner of your eye. It had been the only thing you hadn’t suggested before. But this was almost like a compromise. He saw them and you. You wanted to love him, treat him the way they should have from day one.

“Are you really okay with that?” he asked, sounding almost nervous.

A sigh left your lips as your gaze returned to the other side of the room, knowing you had to be completely honest with him. “Dean, if you were okay with it, I’d move back into the bunker. I wouldn’t even argue or complain if you were to kiss me right now. It’s a place to start.”

Even if you weren’t looking at him, you heard him shift where he’d been sitting, “Are you sure you’re okay with that?” he asked again, still sounding unsure of your words.

You rolled your eyes, trying not to look as frustrated as you felt, but the moment you turned to face him so that you could be far blunter with him, you realized just how close he had gotten. The look in his eyes took your breath away and made you speechless as your lips opened to say something, but no words came out.

You quickly closed your mouth, taking a slow, deep breath. 

Why does he have to be so damn handsome? Let alone look at me like he wants to eat me alive.

“Yes, I’m-,” you began, but you couldn’t finish that sentence before Dean’s lips were on yours. 

He’d also cupped your cheek, holding you close so that you couldn’t pull away, but you had no plans of doing that. This wasn’t an intimate, I love you, kind of kiss. No, this was more like, where the hell have you been for the last almost year, kind of kiss. It was needy, hungry, and you matched it with your own.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 12 - Hope

Retribution Master List

Tag List: @jc-winchester @nancymcl @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx

[saturninefig]

say hello to jules mayberry, my nsb founder 🌱💡

jules is a mischievous tech girlie who loves the finer things in life. she can be a little mean, and she's frequently jealous of other sims, but her heart is in the right place most of the time. all she wants is to set up a secure future for herself and the many generations to come. ✨

jules loves video games, the computer (she literally will not do anything else) and tasty vegetarian food.

she dislikes people who don't appreciate gifts (*cough cough* j huntington iii), bros, and romance music.

she currently lives in 18 culpepper house in san myshuno, but has plans to retreat to the 'burbs when she finds her mr right (well, more like 'mr that'll do'). 

✼ more info under the cut ✼

✦ backstory: both of jules' parents were scientists. they were friendly, smart, and perfectly lovely people – though they definitely spent more time in the lab than they did at home. having died when she was a teenager in a 'work accident' (it's all very hush-hush), jules took her small inheritance and put it towards a pad in the city rather than university. after one semester, she decided the academic route wasn't for her. besides, who needs a degree in this day and age anyway?

✦ challenge goals: (i don't have all the packs so i had to improvise a little)

master tech guru career – start-up entrepreneur branch

complete chief of mischief aspiration

master mischief and logic skills

complete elements collection

✦ my goals:

make two enemies

have at least one child 

move out of the city to a fancy home in the suburbs

be bffs with her children, unlike the way her parents were with her

have §100,000 in savings

✦ other notes:

i'm shockingly bad at making male sims, so this is going to be a matriarchal legacy (this includes nb and trans sims)

i use thepancake1's more traits in CAS mod because three just isn't enough (i chose the remaining traits based on personal preference, but i plan to randomize it/inherit traits from gen 2 onwards)

jules got unlimited funds to decorate her apt to make it Cute but i dropped her remaining money down to §1000 to reflect her 'inheritance'. girlfriend spent most of her money on plants and wall art (#relatable).

since i don't have all the packs, i'll be mixing and matching the og nsb challenge with this version alongside whatever whims tickle my fancy or enhance my story ;)

thanks to @cupidgnome and @deathbypufferfish for the psd aspirations template and icons. and of course, @lilsimsie for creating the nsb challenge 🖤

[subwaytostardew]

Update: One year on the tracks!

It's been a year (and a week) since we first started working on this mod! April 25th is when I first started working on this project! Terrible timing since that's literally the day before my birthday and I'm too busy to make anniversary updates the day of. Thank you everyone following this mod despite how slow we chug along!

If you see the first ever post Thylak did over on his main - you will just see my little comments discovering his work and instantly being like

*Fast excited ADHD typing* I GOT IDEAS.

Rest is history....

We've been hard at work trying to get the mod complete enough for a (still unfinished...) release! It won't have everything we have planned (marriage events, Elesa events, platonic route, roommateable Cilan, etc.) because it would take forever otherwise (we keep getting ideas for additions...)

So many ideas. Sometimes we have to dial it back...... The amount of times events had to be cut down for concision... and we still struggle to keep them under 8 minutes...

1.6 broke a lot, so sorry for the delay in updates! (WHY CA WHY!) We've been having to do a lot of backtracking and behind-the-scenes work. (SO MUCH BACKTRACKING) Pretty much every event broke. I have to resprite all the portraits to match the vanilla-size because HD Portraits is still not updated. The schedules need fixing.

But despite all of that, the station bundles are done! We also redid the house exterior for submas because it was ugly. I did not know how to do pixel art a year ago. Nor did I know how to decorate maps. They have a whole new area off to the side of the Railroad now!

We hot potatoed that map so much. First Thylak would work on it. Then I did. Then back to him...

Still need to get around to adjusting their schedules to switch their coordinates to the new map when they're working on the Railroad. Previously, they were just pacing around in the various empty areas of the Railroad. Now they have trains.

The house itself was actually two different structures with a seperate clock tower but then we decided it looked better overlapping the bit of roof peeking out. It's much less flat now.

Submas have a mailbox that adheres to Stardew's perspective.

No longer is the house a cardboard cut out with shading and lighting. LOL (I didn't know how to sprite buildings!!! I put all my effort into Emmet's walk cycle!)

Also speaking of mail boxes... since it been a year; I'm sure all ya'll are curious to how we do our modding, story, etc. We encourage you to hit the mail car button and ask away (so many of you already have) But since it's been a year. Go Crazy.

But I will nip the common asks tho.

Some Common Asks.

"Is this mod SVE (Stardew Valley Expanded) Compatible?"

No.... Unfortunately due to the complexity of both mods. (Ours due to railroad being used. And SVE already expanding on a bunch of stuff) It will just be compatible with vanilla and any mods that does not replace or edit the railroad (majorly).

We did move submas's house over to the side so it won't overlap the farm it adds or impede any space that you want to use the Railroad's empty spots of land for, but it's still very much a "play at your own risk" type of thing. I'm not familiar enough with SVE to code compatibility for it (not familiar at all actually... I don't play the game enough! All my time is spent working on the mod! All I do is stare at google docs and type walls of text! I'm not interested in SVE anyways for personal reasons.)

SVE is infamous in the modding scene since it changes pretty much every map and steps on other mods with incompatibility. I don't want to deal with making two seperate events with the coordinates/movements edited for compatibility. It should be compatible with most other expansion mods like Ridgeside Village or East Scarp since they mostly keep to their seperate areas and not edit things unless necessary (like submas do now)! SVE changes too much to gurantee compatibility and for the sake of my sanity I won't provide it. If it works, great. If it doesn't, pick and choose for that save.

So.. SVE and our mod. Incompatible....

"Release Date?"

Unfortunately it is still undetermined! (Due to our busy schedules.)

(For example - I myself work 2 jobs and currently going through a lot of chaotic life stressors.....)

However, we will make a progress post soon about how much left on our list where we are satisfied with moving onto the next stage of our mod which is.

There's actually not much new content planned until we're ready for initial release, we mostly have a lot of behind the scenes cleanup and backtracking. I still have portraits to do (I took a break... switched off to mapping). Event-wise I want Emmet's 10 heart event to be done and a few station/side events we have in the drafts. We'll need more festival dialogue (since... they don't show up unless if I have stuff for year two for some reason). After that, we get into more fun stuff! Patches!

PATCHES! Oh we love a good mod patch! And we have a lot planned. Meaning there's still more ahead on the tracks!

"Are they romancable?"

Yes. Yes they are. HOWEVER! WE DO SEE YOU AROACE COMMUNITY! And we will be making a route that will be planned in the next comming phase to make them platonic relations as well!

It's the first stop on our intinerary! We'll release the platonic route alongside the marriage event update so there's something for everyone.

We are just following vanilla format at the moment as it is easier coding wise. And also a good place to start planning where the branches are going to happen. Making roomates is a bit more complex... I have to make a custom item for "proposal" much like the void pendant.

I think that covers the common asks... OH!

Also! Since we have released the Joltik Adoption aspect as a separate mod as well as a little fun tease (And test run) - before we actually drop Subway to Stardew. So sorry the event didn't work at first! I was testing on the main expansion mod. Should be fixed now!

We recommended that if you find any JOLTIKS. Scurrying around. Causing trouble. (Aka Bugs.) Please send in an ask! Or head over to Nexus to drop a bug report! It will help iron out some things that we may not be aware about before release!

And when we do release we HIGHLY encourage the bug reports cause it's just two of us... <_< and those Joltiks get into everything! (Doesn't help that THYLAK KEEPS THROWING THEM EVERYWHERE! I find them in my paperwork... and Atwood's bedding.... My poor Phantump. He can't catch a wink without a Joltik scurrying all over the place!)

It's just me doing all the coding (All. Of. It.) so I hope you all can continue to be patient while I work on things! Sorry if I miss some things! We probably won't playtest too extensively before the initial release, so please do report any bugs you find then!

▷ Station Steward Thylak