#i'm FINALLY reading gideon the ninth

[sleepvines]

Just finished reading Gideon the Ninth.

Astonishing. Somehow, all at once: complex and well woven, painstakingly ornamented; blunt and crass and unafraid to shout it from the rooftops; wildly brutal, it doesn't pull any punches. No, not even that one.

Did I get confused multiple times? Yes. Did Tamsyn Muir pull me to my feet and say "you'll get it eventually" until I got it? Also yes. Things clicked into clarity in retrospect from the initial mystery of Canaan House to the finale and it was electrifying. I love that shit. Realizations that only dawn after it's all too late to change are as deeply satisfying as they are morbid.

I am different after this book, it's shown me things you can do with the medium of novels that is—to make a pun of it—incredibly novel! You can slam down some vernacular you find familiar and emotional, while also having sophisticated vocab at the ready to make those little moments pack more of a grounded punch.

And the supplementary content at the end was great!!

Hats off to this author for cleaving such a unique, gripping path. Woo!

[chrysoprine]

I just LOVE drawing Ianthe and I am so in love with the Tridentarii, I just had to go and try drawing the both of them-

[benegesseritofficial]

The effects of face paint on Harrowhark's psyche

I've now cosplayed Gideon Nav 3 times, with my wife along as Harrow every time. Naturally, this has included full face paint for both of us each time and I have some thoughts.

Let me start by asserting that everything Muir writes in TLT about the face paint is accurate. Rubbing off your lips first, smearing into gray where the black and white meet, the way sweat makes it ooze but not run. I can't say if Muir (a known Homestuck) ever cosplayed as a troll, but I'm positive she tested out the practicality of the skull face paint or otherwise has first hand experience with extensive use of grease paint. Also, the way she describes normal people flinching when they see you is spot on.

I've noticed while putting on the make up that once most of my skin is covered, any flesh tones sticking out start to become unsettling. Specifically, the red/pink of the inner mouth and around the eyes jump out upsettingly. Every time I've done skull paint I find myself meticulously trying to patch over these edges of skin, despite knowing that it's inside skin that Shouldn't Have Make Up On It. Once my face is monochrome, I don't want to be able to see a scrap of real human under there. Smiling, or otherwise opening your mouth wide enough to see the pink, looks UNSETTLING. My own skin causes the uncanny valley effect. You see where this is going. In NtN we learn Harrowhark disassociates often enough that Crux isn't surprised or concerned to see "Harrow" insisting she's someone else. Obviously this is due to her schizophrenia, and perhaps trauma besides. But it doesn't account for every aspect of why Harrow's "like that." On her most lucid days Harrow ignores her body to the point of sweating blood and passing out. She goes entire days without eating. She thinks of herself as a skeleton unfortunately covered in flesh. She sleeps in her paint.

All of which is heinous, but that last one has stuck with me. From age 13-18 I barely glanced down while I showered and whatever I saw I basically blocked out. I wore underwear and a bra under my pajamas to sleep every night. I was going through the wrong puberty, "my body was in open rebellion" as I liked to say at the time, and the only way to cope was to bind it down and pretend it wasn't happening. By Gideon's narration in HtN one gets the impression most nuns of the Ninth are putting their paint on after breakfast and taking it off when they get home. It's not even expected the average person wears it every time they leave the house. But Harrow regularly only takes her paint off in order to redo it. I suspect a combination of being the most brainwashed person in her own cult, knowing how she was conceived, and the regular disassociation make it very difficult for Harrow to conceptualize that she actually lives in a body. If she faced that fact head on she'd have to ask why it so often feels someone else is using her body. She'd have to cope with owning this body, being a part of this body, that was bought with the blood of 200 children who should have been her peers and friends. Instead she pretends it's an object on loan from them. And she does it with 10 layers of black petticoats and so much paint she never has to see her own skin.

Which brings me to the final thing I've noticed wearing full face paint. It dehumanizes you to yourself and everyone around you. I couldn't read my own expressions in a mirror. Even people who understood and were delighted with my cosplay were visibly nervous talking to me. You don't look like a person. Studies have shown that faces wearing heavy make up are ranked as harder to read and perceived as less empathetic. It's a particularly insidious trap of patriarchy that many women find self esteem in wearing make up, while that very act makes everyone around them treat them more callously. And, worst of all, if you stop wearing it once you're used to it, your naked face is shocking. You look sick due to your colors being less bold and the normal small flaws of your face appear unbearably ugly. With all this in mind, Harrow has trapped herself in a feedback loop of not being able to witness her own face and becoming more and more disgusted with the flesh and person underneath whenever she has to glance at it.

[clipartdinosaur]

Griddlehark Fics

I have read an absolutely insane amount of Griddlehark fanfics in the past few months so I figured I could make a like...list of all of my favorites that I bookmarked. I'm not sure if anyone will use this but if anything it will be for my own self-indulgence LOL. Just a heads up, this list WILL contain spoilers up to Nona the Ninth, so proceed with your own discretion. Anyway here we go!

(♥︎ = favorite!)

Short (<15k):

"By the Sword" by JeanLuciferGohard (2.6k)

The Reverend Daughter of the Ninth, Necrosaint, Ascended, the greatest bone adept in an Age, does one push-up, and collapses. Harrow does not beg for her cavalier. Harrow rakes her hair back and snarls, “Nav, I am going to unzip your cranial sutures. One by one. And zip them up again sideways.”

"Your Necro Questions Answered" by Magichorse (8.8k)

Syndicated columnist "Nav the Cav" offers a sympathetic ear to cavaliers across the galaxy and dispenses practical, no-nonsense, real talk advice on how to properly manage and care for your necromancer.

"A Lesson in Bones" by Magichorse (3.8k)

One of the laboratory trials at Canaan House compels Harrowhark to swap bodies with her cavalier. What will Gideon do with the power of the most talented bone adept in generations at her disposal? Nothing good, probably.

"Visions of Gideon" by tothewillofthepeople (13k)

Oh my god they were roommates...

"true love's kiss, or something equally nauseating" by corpsesoldier (4.6k)

She was where she needed to be. She was going to pull her necro out of this godforsaken tomb, end the game of musical bodies they were playing, and then everything would be all right. Harrow would be alive. And Gideon was going to give her shit for approximately the next myriad for not just taking what she’d offered and saving them a whole lot of trouble.

"The Big Warm Dark" by decalexas (haelstorm) (2.7k)

Gideon Nav knows how to swing a longsword, brandish a rapier, bridge the gap between life and death, punch the dead in the face, and maybe overthrow an Empire along the way. What she doesn't know how to do is reach for the girl who made all of this possible.

"carrion comfort, despair (not feast on thee)" by NotAFicWriter (5k)

Some time after Alecto wakes, Harrow and Gideon finally have a moment to speak to one another. Hearts are bared. Teeth are bared. Intentions are bared. It all comes at great personal cost (emotional honesty).

"never exhale all the way" by pigflight (1.2k)

Harrowhark paints Gideon's face.

"such an almighty sound" by CountingNothings (10k)♥︎

“I need you to marry me,” Harrow says, a propos of absolutely nothing that Gideon can see. And, uh, okay, this is not what childhood best frenemies say to each other upon discovering that both of their graduate programs have weird residence requirements. “What,” Gideon asks, “the fuck?”

"A Handsomely Dangerous Thing" by zoicite (1.5k)

Had Harrow ever looked at Gideon and felt pride before? Surely not. It sat like a tumor in her chest, a cancerous lump that had grown where it did not belong.

"How it didn't happen" by Nary (1.5k)

"How did you lose it?" Coronabeth asked, more softly than her sister's shrill voice. The group assembled at Canaan House barely knew her, and yet here they were, asking the most irritatingly personal questions, and acting as if they were being kind and thoughtful by prying into her secrets. "I dropped my pen into a vat of acid and reached in to grab it without thinking," Harrow said dryly. Coronabeth recoiled, screwing up her pretty nose. Ianthe looked unsure whether to believe her or not. Their meatslab of cavalier just stared blankly. "The Daughter of the Ninth House was blessed in this manner from her birth, as a symbol of her strength and power over the mysteries of necromancy," Ortus interjected. Harrow glared at him. "Oh," Coronabeth said, an expression of disgusting sympathy on her flawless face. "But then you would never have known who your soulmate was!" Harrow's glare intensified. "My soulmate is bones."

"Halcyon Nights" by Morike91 (10k)

It was hard to tell what was worse: feeling the full warmth of those unguarded honey eyes fall on Harrow, or watching them narrow in recognition and contempt, their warmth now hotter with something else.  “What can I get you?” It has been at least four years since Harrow last heard the voice of Gideon Nav, but it was still as familiar as her right hand. 

"I completely fucking hate you" by ClaraZorEl (7.5k)

In the coming weeks, Harrowhark learns an unfortunate great deal about Gideon Nav. The kind of porn she likes, the number of bread rolls she can fit into her mouth at once, that she always leans too heavily on her left leg when she fights but can do fifty-seven push-ups in a row without stopping, that her biceps rates 11/10 on the scale of good biceps, that her laugh rumbles like an army of skeletons, and most importantly, that she can’t fucking stand her. Gideon Nav is so grating that Harrow has no doubt she will be her undoing. OR Harrowhark Nonagesimus has been invited to Canaan University's ball. But to successfully represent her house, she needs a cavalier, and unfortunately, her only option is her least favourite barista from her least favourite coffee shop.

"A Thousand Teeth, Yours Among Them" by pipistrelle (7k)

"In the end, she poisoned Ortus; so it was Harrow Nova who walked out to the shuttle a half-step behind the Daughter of the Ninth, the chain of Samael Novenary wound about her offhand wrist, the black blade of the Ninth at her side."

"The Only Prayer We Know" by pipistrelle (12k) [Part 2 of "A Thousand Teeth, Yours Among Them"]

It's like a bad joke: two cavaliers (alive) and two necromancers (one dead) walk into a rebel faction of humanity, looking for a new life -- in every sense of the phrase. What they find is each other, and (in some cases) themselves.

"The Flames of Hell Are Warm" by silverapples (7k)

In which Harrow is a repressed evangelical Christian and Gideon performs burlesque in a lesbian nightclub. Feat. nipple pasties, chewing gum, and a steaming mug of gay coffee (wake up and smell it, Harrow).

"Necro Business" by rnanqo (1.6k) ♥︎

“Gideon,” you said carefully, “I will need to examine your mouth. Various structures, primarily the jaw, but also the lingual muscles—the tongue—” You stopped there. Your cheeks were going red, probably with indignity. “Yeah,” I said, a bit too loudly, “yeah, sure. Do it.”

"Holy Cross, Alaska" by softieghost (10k) ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎

Harrow meets Gideon. They go through it together.

"my love will be your armor" by TheKnightsWhoSayBook (2.3k)

"The princess has a right to bestow her favor on whoever she wishes to win a match," Gideon tells her. "Are you going to?" "Why would I? I don't want to marry him," Harrow answers bitterly. "Do you want me to win?" Princess Harrow will be engaged to the winner of the tournament, and her only champion is her useless bodyguard Sir Gideon Nav, who isn't going to save her. Unless...?

"The Meaning Of The Word" by pipistrelle (8.4k)

Harrow, along with a good percentage of Canaan University's necromancy students, has the flu. Gideon has a lot of feelings that she is in no way equipped to handle. It's a tough week.

"(i shine only with the light you gave me)" by sashawire (1.7k) ♥︎

God prods, gently, “Even just starting with their physical description, and we can go from there.” “Imagine,” you say, from somewhere outside your body, “the worst shade of orange you’ve ever seen in your life.” * Harrowhark receives her saintly title.

"i will learn to love the shears" by corpsesoldier (4.7k)

The avulsion trial left Harrow's hair in a sorry state and Gideon offers up her expertise with a blade. Or, Gideon gives Harrow a haircut.

"The Titty Texts: A Work of a Stupendous Titty Nature" by EleniaTrexer (3k)

Gideon accidentally sends Harrow boobs. And then just keeps on sending them.

"can we start over?" by breeeliss (10k)

Gideon needs a tutor. Harrow needs someone to get her out of college gym class. All in all, a pretty straightforward arrangement to make with your ex.

"Dark Mode Enabled" by senseoftheday (12k)

Tech Company AU in which a certain Sales bro with no filter decides to ruin Harrow's life (and feature roadmap) by initiating the cross-functional project from hell. At least, Gideon has the decency to work remotely, and Harrow's new office crush makes some pretty great coffee.

"deconsecrated graves" by emotionsandphenomena (4k)

Gideon and Harrow got out of the cult they were raised in. Okay, what's next?

"settle up in heaven" by liesmyth (3k) ♥︎

“Isn’t this arrogance, Harrow?” Kiriona says. “Think you could fix what God couldn’t?”

"Quoth the Maiden" by Sarsaparilla (10.9k)

The bold outlaws Nova Hawk and Gideon meet for the first time on a narrow log-bridge. But is it really their first meeting? Or: what if Robin Hood and Little John were both lesbians?

"twice in a blue moon" by sinshine (8.7k) ♥︎

Gideon snapped out of her depressing reverie and blinked at her. "That's a really good idea." "Obviously," said Harrow, and it was only a little bit condescending. "Step one, sneak out of the party. Step two, acquire the necessary items at a store. Step three–" Harrow gestured vaguely at the deer in Gideon's hands– "And step four, profit." [G&H rush to fix a smashed snow globe that Dulcinea made so that Cam doesn't kill them before the clock strikes midnight at their NYE party. The fact that Gideon is back in her hometown after a long time away and she and Harrow have unresolved romantic tension is secondary and definitely won't be a problem.]

"It Came From Planet Slut" by LockedTombMemes (8k)

Well. Evidently going undercover to an Idan society fling in order to deliver a message to a high-profile BoE agent was a tits-out kind of look.

"Apostate's Yuletide" by sinshine (12.6k)♥︎

Gideon raised one eyebrow comically high. She smiled easily, erasing any hint of the anxiety that Harrow might have sensed. "What's with all the questions today?" Harrow huffed indignantly and fidgeted with the blanket draped across her lap, worrying the frayed hem with her fingers. "I thought your ego would appreciate the interest." "Yeah, but it's weird coming from you. I'm used to you monologuing, not playing twenty questions." "Perhaps it's a Christmas miracle," suggested Harrow, with an expression so absolutely devoid of joy that Gideon couldn't help but laugh. [Harrow and Gideon burn down a church on Xmas.]

"when it's over" by Adertily (2.5k)

Harrowhark had sworn to herself to live to see the girl in the locked tomb awaken. Alecto has risen. Now God is dead, along with everyone who had ever been dear to her - and Gideon has returned as a distorted creature. The war is over. Harrow wishes she could be too. Or: A character study based on Harrow's suicidal ideation and Gideon's determination to never run anywhere unless she absolutely has to.

"Supernova Bloom!" by sinshine (13k)

"It's just for a week, and then you never have to see me again," said Gideon. "I don't have time to find anyone else." And, "Please." Slowly, Harrow took her hand off the door and cautiously turned around. Gideon watched a dozen unspoken questions flicker across her face. She voiced none of them, but eventually settled on an expression of grim resignation. "I suppose I could suffer you for a week." [Gideon needs help getting her new flower shop ready for the grand opening. Harrow needs cash.]

"I still need your teeth around my organs" by sinshine (7.8k)

Although she was a beloved Daughter and a talented necromancer, Gideon's greatest vice was that she dearly loved to fuck around and find out. Knowing this, perhaps it shouldn't have been as shocking when she lifted one of Nova's hands, flipped it over, and kissed her palm. [4 times Gideon kisses Harrow, 1 time Harrow kisses Gideon]

"cuckoo, cuckoo" by sashawire (1.2k)

What Wake gives it is not a name. To do so would be a moronic, unnecessary cruelty. But she does deign to give it the microscopic dignity of a title, a goal, a purpose. Bomb. Eighteen years later, in the rubble of a once-sacred home, Harrowhark Nonagesimus reaches up and touches Gideon Nav’s grit-covered, blood-rimed face, splits a laugh like the world is ending, and calls her “flower.” * Six times God's unwanted daughter was nicknamed, and once she wasn't.

"my teeth will only cut your lips, my dear" by sashawire (<1k) ♥︎

Gideon chomps into her tongue as hard as she can convince herself, stifling a very dignified squawk. Her eyes water, Emperor’s left tit that fucking hurts, but—it works. Blood weeps from the bite marks, creeping down the back of her throat, up into her nasal cavity, staining her teeth. Okay. She has blood in her mouth. Blood that, somehow, needs to get into Harrow’s mouth. * Step #6: Consume the flesh.

"fifteen percent concentrated power of will" by surreptitiously (9k)

Teaching someone to do a push-up is a love language, when that person is very annoying.

"GHAZAL WHERE I'M BEGGING YOU TO TOUCH ME" by igneousbitch (12k)

You had your body and I had mine, and it was a miracle. Your hands against my face were a miracle. The rest of your meat attached to your hands was a prayer answered and a promise broken, but we were flush and gasping and alive, and Harrow—I really thought you might’ve kissed me then. But I felt it happen. The way your breath suddenly stilled, and your body locked up beneath mine, remembering. How with splintering gentleness, you pushed me away. “I’m so sorry,” was the second thing you said upon waking. The first thing had been my name. Stranded in a safehouse on an Edenite moon, Gideon and Harrow try to put themselves back together.

"catch you on the flip side, sugar lips" by corpsesoldier (4.9k)

Maybe if Harrow's brain runs enough scenarios, she'll find a way to keep what she's lost.

"hand to heart, I swear" by corpsesoldier (5k)

Gideon has a broken heart, and there's only one necromancer who can fix it.

Medium (15-30k)

"If you're doing it right you'll break their ribs" by almostnectarine (22.4k)

"How do you know Nonagesimus has gone somewhere dangerous?" asked Isaac. "Have you wired some kind of alert system?" "It's, uh. It's on the schedule," said Gideon. "I just... forgot. Because of the bread." Nobody was convinced by this, least of all Gideon. "It's a Ninth House thing," Gideon went on, backing away with increasing desperation. This was a slightly more plausible explanation, if only because nobody wanted to look too closely at what fell under the awful skeletal-ribbed and rotting umbrella of Ninth House things. "Gotta go—!" And she was out the door, gone. But it wasn't a Ninth House thing, except inasmuch as it was happening to the only two representatives of the noble and decrepit Ninth House on this quite literally godforsaken rock. Gideon knew Harrow had gone somewhere dangerous—knew that Harrow was back in the lab where they had only just completed a horrible trial—because she could see it, clear as day: an awful overlay on her vision of that terrible dangerous room and a pair of terrible dangerous hands drawing some kind of ward next to the plinth. The hands were definitely Harrow's. This was definitely a problem.

"If Home Is Where the Heart Is (Then We're All Just Fucked)" by JeanLuciferGohard (17k) ♥︎

When Gideon Nav gets a call that her ex-girlfriend, who never bothered to change her designated emergency contact, is in the hospital, she goes against her better judgement and responds. Everything after that just gets more complicated.

"blue gray green lavender" by smolranger (29k) ♥︎

Laser Radial sailor Gideon Nav just wants pass her classes, win a few regattas, and keep her head down. FJ sailor Harrowhark Nonagesimus has grand plans to qualify for the Olympics, preserve her parent's legacy, and save her home town. Despite the ties binding them together, the two have kept their college lives carefully separate for two years. But when Harrow's helm, Ortus, suffers a concussion mid-way through the fall season, their carefully separated lives collide. Harrow needs someone capable of taking Ortus' place for the remainder of the season or her Olympic dreams — and Canaan College's entire sail team — are in peril. And Gideon is her only option.

"Daughters of Hungry Ghosts" by zoicite (24k)

Harrow and Gideon and times they have (and also have not) shared a bed over the years.

"Disney World, Florida" by softieghost (24.6k) [Part 2 of "Holy Cross, Alaska"]

After the events of Alaska, Harrow thanks Gideon the only way she knows how: devotion. -- Chapter 3: The journey concludes. More confessions.

"we've got a good thing goin' " by sinshine (14.6k) ♥︎

“Not to sound ungrateful, but being here makes me wish that you had left me for dead,” said Harrow. Gideon had been staring hard at the face of the fountain’s statue. She was pretty sure that it was carved in the likeness of Naberius himself, but she didn’t want to say it out loud and make it true. She shook her head and turned to Harrow. “Leaving me to live out eternity in your bony sock puppet of a body? Hard pass.” Palamedes and Camilla shared a look. It was the mutual understanding of two people who had been trapped in close quarters with the bickering of Gideon Nav and Harrowhark Nonagesimus for far too long. [Team 69 hide out in Babs's vacation home. Because it's not like he's using it anyway.]

"Cake by the Ocean" by zoicite (15k)♥︎

Okay, so the thing was, Gideon had always been shit at plans. She knew that. Everyone knew that, but this--she really didn’t think it would be this hard! Gideon’s voice was like the least memorable thing about her. Bargaining her voice for a well-shaped set of human legs--that really should have worked in her favor.

"careful fear and (un)dead devotion" by sinshine (23k)

[Gideon and Harrow wake up back in their own bodies but both of them are missing large parts of their memory. Camilla tries not to kill everyone.]

"who ya gonna call?" by igneousbitch (24k)

“Fret not, honeybun.” Gideon shook her red hair out of her eyes, belligerent. “I’m not totally sold on your whole skepticism thing.” “Well,” Harrow said, ignoring the nickname. She turned to the rest of the room, clearing her throat politely before addressing the empty air. “Ghosts, if you’re real, give us a sign. Make a noise. Move something. Send a shiver down our backs. Whisper softly into Nav’s left ear—” “I seriously fucking hate you.” - (Casual sex and paranormal investigation. Not necessarily in that order.) (or: the Buzzfeed Unsolved AU in which Gideon is ready to fight a ghost, and Harrow just wants to be haunted.)

Long(>30k):

"Beneath a Blue and Foreign Sky" by zoicite (35k)

Harrow has a decision to make.

"A Heart Full Of Sutures" by Rohad (40k)

All Gideon wanted was to get outside and ride her motorcycle. No part of that plan had included eight weeks in Canaan Medical Center with a broken Pelvis and the meanest little doctor this side of the eastern seabord.

"Midnight at the Mithraeum" by zoicite (66k) ♥︎

It'd been two years since Gideon Nav gathered her wine key and her gaming license and escaped The Locked Tomb, a speakeasy-style cocktail bar managed by the hateful Harrowhark Nonagesimus. Now, dealing tables at The Mithraeum Hotel & Casino, things were really looking up. So when Gideon scored a date with the most beautiful showgirl in the Gilded Halls of Ida, the last thing she expected was to wake up married to her old nemesis and former coworker. The story starts the night of Gideon's date and alternates between the events leading up to the wedding and the weeks that follow as Gideon tries to navigate life married to someone who claims to want nothing more than to forget she exists.

"Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea" by pipistrelle (90k)

Being the journal of Reverend Daughter Harrowhark Nonagesimus, chronicling the journey of the Emperor's warship Cenotaph on its hunt to slay an immortal Resurrection Beast. Or: the Moby Dick crossover AU that nobody asked for.

"The Darkest Night, The Brightest Light" by eternaleponine (50k)

Harrowhark has known for a long time that her home's financial situation is dire, and not getting better. She has plans to fix it all, but can't implement them until she turns eighteen in a few months. When her parents announce that the best (perhaps only) way to save Drearburh is to marry off its heir, Harrow realizes the timeline has changed and she needs to take action now to save her home... and herself. Desperate times call for desperate measures, after all. Enter Gideon Nav. Detested foe, and Harrow's only hope.

"putting your fist through a thick sheet of glass (i know you don't want to)" by oretsev (46k)

Harrowhark Nonagesimus and Gideon Nav have always been at each other’s throats, and the animosity has only intensified since the death of Harrow’s parents. But when a car accident leaves Gideon without any memories of her past, Harrow sees a chance at the clean slate she’s wanted for years. Becoming involved in Gideon’s recovery assuages some of the guilt, but as she and Gideon become closer and increasingly involved in each other's lives, Harrow worries that some of her secrets may be more than she can atone for.

Ongoing:

"semi-charmed kinda life" by strangedelight (182k+) ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎

Gideon asked questions. Harrow surprised her with answers. They reached an agreement; they decided to be smart, to be patient. Gideon made a promise, Harrow gave her one in return. Wait and see. OR the year is 1994, and Gideon and Harrow leave their small town for life in the city. OR team 69 roommates au only this time it's the 90s

"Intern the Sixth" by apocalypticTaco (33k+)

ADDRESSING THE HEIR TO THE NINTH HOUSE, OR PRESUMED EQUIVALENT: PALAMEDES SEXTUS, HEIR TO THE SIXTH HOUSE, PRESENTS HIS COMPLIMENTS TO THE NINTH AND REQUESTS A FORMAL ARRANGEMENT WHEREIN HIS MASTER WARDEN AND CAVALIER APPRENTICESHIP UNDER THE NINTH FOR FOUR YEARS IN EXCHANGE FOR THE SIXTH’S SERVICES. *Details to be discussed. Please turn to back page. Timeframe variable. Services and agreements variable upon the Ninth's request. An internship of this caliber is highly unprecedented and likely unheard of, but any information valuable to the Ninth and into the Tomb will remain undisclosed upon request; Primary experience and study is required as the Master Warden has already decided upon such being his final thesis prior to his end studies. No takebacks, no denials. Pleased to meet you. Palamedes Sextus, Heir to the Sixth and Master Warden and Camilla the Sixth, Cavalier Primary and Warden's Hand of the Library

TO THE MASTER WARDEN: FORMALLY REJECTED.

"What's Eating Gideon Nav?" by labyrinthineRetribution (40k+)

After a miserable fifteen years at Blessed Saint Anastasia's School for Girls, Gideon's luck finally changes.

"We Have Always Lived in the Apartment" by labyrinthineRetribution (171k+)

John looks up from his Jack and Coke in drunken curiosity. "What's with the face, Harrowhark?" he asks, genuinely concerned. "Contrary to popular belief," Gideon butts in, "her face just fuckin' looks like that, bitch." She tends to use "bitch" as liberally as commas when off her ass. "You're piss drunk," you shoot back. "And you, my good bitch, are just as contemptible as the day you clawed your way up from Hell." - It is Harrowhark Nonagesimus' birthday, and it only gets worse from there.

PWP (basically):

"I'll hold in these hands all that remains" by corvidlesbian (6.5k) ♥︎

“Do you want me to try?” Gideon said. “What?” “You got all hot and bothered without me trying. Do you want me to try?” Their newfound habit of cuddling gets interesting.

"sting of a wasp" by brightbolt, imperfectlyctor (42k) ♥︎

"You’re a virgin,” Gideon said, testing it out. "Huh." Harrow didn’t like the sound of that huh. She knew Gideon’s noises, and that was a thoughtful, sinister huh. That was the same huh she’d made before putting canned tuna in Crux’s work boots. Her eyes narrowed. “What.” Gideon cocked her head to the side. “Is there a reason you’re waiting?” There was no judgement in the question— only genuine curiosity. Perhaps it was this that made Harrow more inclined to answer. “I don’t have the time to look for someone new,” She shrugged. “And my available pool is… somewhat limited.” “Well,” Gideon said, with just a hint of conspiracy in those glittering golden eyes. “If you ever want to change that, you have my number.” What? What? Harrow blinked. “What?” Or: the five times Gideon and Harrow successfully bone, and the one time they don't.

"Suckle, Honey" by zoicite (7.9k)

“You crave my juice,” Gideon accused. “I do not crave your juice.” “Fuck, you do though. You went off to explore that study alone, without your cavalier, using a key that I nearly gave my life for, and then you snorted some powder that made you crave my juice! Harrow. I never would have let you sniff powder from a ten thousand year old jar.” This was untrue--Gideon probably wouldn’t have noticed Harrow breathing in a puff of jar powder until it was too late--but it sounded like something Camilla Hect might say, so Gideon went with it anyway. Camilla definitely would have stopped Palamedes from accidentally sniffing old as fuck Eighth House jarred juice addiction powder.

"Five Times We Hatefucked and One Time We Didn't" by rnanqo (8k)

“Fuck you,” you said. “Fuck me yourself, you coward.” You ran a hand through my hair, fisted it, and pulled my head up. From here I had a spectacular view of your weird blown-out seething expression, like I was the worst thing you’d ever seen. Also a view up your blood-crusted nostrils. Choice. “Maybe I will, Griddle,” you said. “Maybe I will stop fucking you over and start fucking you." Gideon and Harrow realize, abruptly, that their hatefucking is no longer hatefucking.

"a call to motion" by groundedsaucer (coasterchild) (10k) ♥︎

Harrow and Gideon watch a porno.

"put her canine teeth in the side of my neck" by stranded_star (8.8k)

Harrowhark Nonagesimus is getting a PhD and a divorce. Against her better judgment, she goes out to the bar to celebrate and meets an incorrigible, absolutely ripped salt-and-paprika butch who takes her home and gives it to her good. To her horror, it's the best night of her life, and she sneaks home with her tail between her legs. Harrow has more important things to worry about - like raising her daughter and building the next stages of her career. But when her daughter's favorite teacher, someone named Griddle, turns about to be the Gideon she met at the bar, she's forced to contend with allowing herself (and her daughter) to find the happy ending she never thought they'd have. Featuring MILF!Harrow, Teacher!Gideon, and a very amused Camilla Hect.

"The Wound That Swallows" by seelieunseelie (7.8k)

Harrow can make out an uncomfortable amount of detail about Gideon’s body beneath. Powerful, strong as ever, yet somehow vulnerable for its supplication below Harrow’s. “Are we gonna get this over with?” Gideon says in a voice softly scratchy. She blushes then when Harrow sits on the edge of the bed. “It will hurt,” Harrow says. “Yeah,” Gideon says. “I think I can handle it.”

[englishsub]

book rec by me

so you want to get back into reading books but have no idea where to start and disdain booktok (if you get me started on this however i will become an unskippable cutscene so that's for another day). understandable. there is so much out there and it is all so overwhelming and you don't even know what you like now that you've been a decade out of the game. again, understandable. it does not have to be scary. i will help you. below i have created some categories that can get you started.

i want to read Literature

literary fiction, with crossover from historical fiction and magical realism

PEACH BLOSSOM SPRING by melissa fu

THE VASTER WILDS by lauren groff

THE FAMILY CHAO by lan samantha chang

OUTER DARK by cormac mccarthy

SEVERANCE by ling ma

LIGHT FROM UNCOMMON STARS by ryka aoki

IDENTITTI by mithu m. sanyal

PIRANESI by susanna clarke

i want to read sci-fi/fantasy that won't break my brain

sci-fi and fantasy that is gentler on the brain cells. easier to grasp magic systems with multiple but not an overwhelming number of overlapping plotlines

EMILY WILDE'S ENCYCLOPAEDIA OF FAERIES by heather fawcett

KINGS OF THE WYLD by nicholas eames

THE JASMINE THRONE by tasha suri

THE CITY OF BRASS by s.a. chakraborty

A RIVER ENCHANTED by rebecca ross

JUNIPER AND THORN by ava reid

BLACK SUN by rebecca roanhorse

THE FINAL STRIFE by saara el-arifi

THE BONE SHARD DAUGHTER by andrea stewart

i want to read sci-fi/fantasy that forces me to lock the fuck in

i would not recommend picking these up as your first foray back into books after many years of not reading recreationally, but i'm not your mom.

THE SPEAR CUTS THROUGH WATER by simon jimenez

JADE CITY by fonda lee

THE FIFTH SEASON by n.k. jemisin

THE RAGE OF DRAGONS by evan winter

A MEMORY CALLED EMPIRE by arkady martine

GIDEON THE NINTH by tamsyn muir

THE ART OF PROPHECY by wesley chu

THE GRACE OF KINGS by ken liu

horrify me!

there is far more to the horror literary canon than stephen king and dean koontz, i promise. consider looking up warnings for these.

TENDER IS THE FLESH by agustina bazterrica

THE RUINS by scott smith

CONFESSIONS by kanae minato

EPISODE THIRTEEN by craig dilouie

REPRIEVE by james han mattson

MARY by nat cassidy

DEAD SILENCE by s.a. barnes

AUDITION by ryu murakami

THE SALT GROWS HEAVY by cassandra khaw

don't care, i want romance

some of these feature crossover genres, like fantasy and horror.

VAMPIRES OF EL NORTE by isabel cañas

DAUGHTER OF THE MOON GODDESS by sue lynn tan

SEVEN DAYS IN JUNE by tia williams

HAPPY PLACE by emily henry

ONE DARK WINDOW by rachel gillig

i want QUEER romance

again, a mix of historical, fantasy, and contemporary crossover genres.

WE COULD BE SO GOOD by cat sebastian

IN MEMORIAM by alice winn

MOST ARDENTLY by gabe cole novoa

A STRANGE AND STUBBORN ENDURANCE by foz meadows

A MARVELLOUS LIGHT by freya marske

THE EMPEROR AND THE ENDLESS PALACE by justinian huang

SPELL BOUND by f.t. lukens

SORRY, BRO by taleen voskuni

ONE LAST STOP by casey mcquiston

DELILAH GREEN DOESN'T CARE by ashley herring blake

i haven't felt anything since i read percy jackson/the hunger games in middle school/high school

adventure is still out there.

SCYTHE by neil shusterman

WE HUNT THE FLAME by hafsah faizal

SIX OF CROWS by leigh bardugo

GEARBREAKERS by zoe hana mikuta

i'll read anything that's not straight or white

many books in the above categories fit this, but here's even more, across a variety of genres.

LAST NIGHT AT THE TELEGRAPH CLUB by malinda lo

BABEL by r.f. kuang

WHEN THE RECKONING COMES by latanya mcqueen

THE UNBROKEN by c.l. clark

IF YOU'LL HAVE ME (graphic novel) by eunnie

LEGEND OF THE WHITE SNAKE by sher lee

THIS IS HOW YOU LOSE THE TIME WAR by amal el-mohtar and max gladstone

SHE WHO BECAME THE SUN by shelley parker-chan

"all ya books suck"

like any other genre or book age group, there are duds and there are standouts. ya is not special in this regard. try some of these!

DIVINE RIVALS by rebecca ross

STRIKE THE ZITHER by joan he

THE RED PALACE by june hur

A STUDY IN DROWNING by ava reid

EMPIRE OF SAND by tasha suri

LEGENDBORN by tracy deonn

i check out and read a lot of these books for free via my local library by using the libby app (you can even add your friends' library cards to gain access to libraries in places you don't live). when i'm feeling like reading via audiobook, i use libro fm!

look, no one HAS TO read diversely. no one is going to be reverse fahrenheit 451'd and locked in a room with no fanfic and only books and not let out until they work their way through the entire literary canon. but reading, and reading widely, and reading diversely, is what teaches people to form their own opinions and question the things they are told. it's why they hang up stuff like "READ READ READ!!" in grade school classrooms.

we live under systems that increasingly benefit from going unquestioned. no, of course reading ASSASSIN'S APPRENTICE by robin hobb is not going to dismantle these systems tomorrow, nor probably even in our lifetimes. but doing it will help set up a world capable of doing it in the future. and until further notice, we are all part of this wretched world. might as well read a good story while we're here.

anyway, i'm reading THE WEST PASSAGE by jared pechaček and the new cmq book this week.

[nomomio]

I finally started reading Nona the Ninth. I'm five chapters in and here are some key takeaways so far:

- As a trans feminine butch Pyrhha Dve having a completely normalized shaving scene, and Nona thinking it's beautiful is HEALING

- In addition to that, the teacher misgendering Pyrhha threw me through a loop cuz I completely forgot she's now permanently in Gideon the First's body.

- The fuck is the blue light??? Why does it hurt necromancers???

- Crown is Coronabeth (Corona, Crown, duh). Captain is Judith.

- This book is managing to be to uplifting and hopeful, yet makes me so incredibly sad in a way I can't begin to describe. As someone who has such a deep indescribable love of humanity as a whole, Nona and the kids especially are really hitting something deep within me.

- Pyrhha wanting to take Calamedes (name pending) and Nona away and live away on a farm is just. Mood girl, mood.

- Pyrhha sweety, why are you drinking bleach? Do you wanna talk?

- I want to scoop up Hot Sauce and give her a good home

- The rest of the kids too while we're at it

- Between the last book and now Cam/Palamedes, Tamsyn Muir has accidentally created quite possibly the most positive representation of Dissociative Identity Disorder, and disorders like it, that I have ever seen. Like I just wanna sit down with Muir and ask if that was intentional or not

- It's a bit out there but I think Nona is humanity? Or maybe a manifestation of Earth? Like it would take an It's Always Sunny conspiracy board meme level of explanation to get into how I got to that theory. But I think Nona is humanity, or at the very least, human connection incarnate

- That first chapter detailing Cam, Pyrhha, and Palamedes caring for Nona... I cried. As an autistic kid who both was forced to grow up too fast, and also was often patronized when loving innocence/naivety shown through the mask, seeing caregivers not only love Nona, but respect her and show her DIGNITY was something I didn't know I needed to see

[softseaside]

"One flesh, one end" - Gideon the Ninth Fan comic

I can finally post this! Here's my take of the infamous pool scene! 💀⚔️ This took me forever to draw and I was always very tired when working on this, so please forgive for all the inaccuracies and mistakes 🙇‍♀️ (I know they had a forehead kiss, I'M SORRY I FORGOT;;) Still had a lot of fun drawing this!

Progress video will be up on my youtube channel this sunday!

(Please no spoilers for Nona the Ninth in the tags! I haven't read this one yet!)

[angrybutterball]

Finally finished this drawing even thou it's not that special but idk if I'm trying to draw a fullbody I'm gonna crazy 💀 anyway Gideon the Ninth, my beloved character from the The locked tomb series which I finished a week ago idk and started reading Harrow the Ninth which I'm at act 1, chapter 8 and I already like it. I actually planned to make a intimidating expression cuz I saw a 3D fullbody work from Lars Bundvad-Åmodt and I really like how he made Gideon's white part of the eyes dark but her pupils saturated & "shining". You can see his works on art station :P

Also I separated the chibis cuz if someone wants to use them as stickers then go for it :P

Also could I improved the previous idea or should I have continued it? I kinda got frustrated how messy the side profile looked like so that's why I sticked to the front view and rather add chibis instead well trying another side profile 💀

Edit: also the last pic is actually one of the first fanart I made and the pose is based on the sketch next to it.

Gonna ask this but are there anyone who likes this book series but is from Germany or Austria who either read it or just started? Cuz idk I feel like there aren't many German fans in there even thou it has a good review. I can't really talk that much about it so it would be good if there's someone who is like really into it. Sure, I could look up for myself but the series mostly has English speaking sites and I do understand everything but depending on how much details a story have it's kinda hard to remember. And Harrow the ninth is known for being a little complicated due to the writing style and since I'm reading it in German and I don't really have a hard time understanding (except some dialogos) I would appreciate if there's someone out there who I can talk/write to <:3

[theartingace]

So after many people kept putting some very confusing posts somehow connect by a mysterious book series on my dash I finally borrowed Gideon the Ninth from the library and dear lord. I'm halfway through I was not expecting to love this strange conglomeration of settings, tropes and characters as much as I do. Excellent vibe, delightful writing style and use of first person, love this meathead enjoying her vacation locked in a haunted rundown murder-monastery very interested to see how literally any of the posts I have seen regarding this series winds up relating to what I have read so far.

[brookie9001]

The whole reason I got into making jewellery, and the specific choice to make things with bone, was because of The Locked Tomb series by Tamsyn Muir. I wanted bone jewellery after reading about it in Gideon the Ninth and seeing all the cool artwork people made, with a bone rosary very much standing out. Finally decided to take the project on recently and here it is! The beads are a mixture of carved bone, lava beads, and Whitby jet all strung together using silver wire I chained together. It's not quite a book accurate piece, and I will be making something closer to that too, but I loved making this big ol' fancy rosary and I'm so happy with how it turned out!

[lockedtombtheories]

Thanks! I think the biggest thing currently bugging me about HtN is why every surviving lyctor, with 1 single exception, was plotting to kill Jod? My understanding is that it was only when they saw cav!Gideon's eyes on the Mithraeum that they realized Jod lied about the existence of perfect lyctorhood. So why had they spent decades plotting with BoE to open the tomb and murder God? Only explanation I've read is "because he made them kill their cavs," which seems weak.

The short answer is: They at least suspected that he lied about it even before meeting Gideon. She was just the final nail in the coffin, so to speak. Plus, he did make them kill their cavs! Their siblings, their lovers, their closest friends! They dealt with that truth for far more than a lifetime, but they just so happens that they had a lot of time to dwell on it. It’s not really a surprise that it eventually got ugly.

Long answer under the cut, because I love my followers and don’t want them to suffer.

First off: it isn't just the surviving lyctors who betrayed God. Mercymorn, Augustine, Cytherea, yes; but even G1deon was willing to share a bed with the enemy. Either he or Pyrrha told Wake about the RB's and what they do to necromancers, thereby handing her an effective weapon against lyctors. 

And then there's Anastasia, who's implied to have gone against John's orders by even founding the Ninth House. Cassie, who contacted BoE *6 000 years ago*. So who really knows what Cyrus and Ulysses were up to, or would have been if they'd survived for long enough. 

As for why? We get two pieces of explanation in the text. 

YOU LIED TO US

Could this refer to the proof in Gideon's eyes? Sure.  But I'm not convinced that it wasn't the message Cyth always wanted to send. 

Checking in with the other duplicitous sluts:

“You’ve offered us explanations for everything over the years. But—some of them didn’t hold up on examination … It was the power I could never get my head around, you know? I follow power back to its source, John. It’s the skill you asked me to perfect. And the longer I looked at yours, the less things added up.”  “This has been troubling you for a very long time, then,” God said finally. [...] “You don’t get your power from Dominicus,” said Augustine. “It gets its power from you. There’s no exchange involved, no symbiosis. You draw nothing from the system. It relies on you entirely, as we all know. You’re God, John. But—as the Edenites are fond of pointing out—you were once a man. So whither that transition? Where does your power come from? Even if the Resurrection had been the greatest thanergy bloom ever triggered, it would drain away over time. And then Mercy said to me—in a moment of true Mercy vileness—she said, What is God afraid of? [...] I never wanted to believe it when she said, What if he didn’t really put down A.L.? And then—What if he couldn’t put down A.L.?” (HtN, ch. 51)

So: they knew that John didn’t have a tangible power source; and lyctorhood was the only kind of internal furnace they know about. Ergo: yes, they suspected that John had lied about perfect Lyctorhood. He made them kill their cavs. 10 000 years of guilt, literally chasing them across the universe, and for what? For whom?

What kind of God demands such a sacrifice? I think that's one of the central questions of these books. What kind of God demands it? (compare the Binding of Isaac - John) But also: What kind of God punishes it? (compare the Mark of Cain - the Resurrection Beasts) 

But - 

“Why would one of the Emperor’s Lyctors hate him?” “Hate him?” The voice of the girl whom Gideon had known as Dulcinea rose, high and intent. “Hate him? I have loved that man for ten thousand years. We all loved him, every one of us. We worshipped him like a king. Like a god! Like a brother.” (GtN, ch. 35)

They are Believers losing their Faith. They’re questioning the entire foundation of his divinity. Augustine and Mercy are still asking, still hoping that they're wrong - “All that effort to break open the Locked Tomb,” said Augustine, “only to have the answer we wanted wander up in the form of one dead teenager flaunting your genes." - but crucially, they are also lovers going through a messy divorce. You know, when people who once loved each other and were presumably capable of communication are suddenly throwing plates at each other? “Come, swear your loyalty, my son—my brother—beloved—Lyctor—saint.” 

Possibly what Tazmuir is saying is, they're the same picture. But that might be conjecture. 

(edited to add in links to other theory posts. call it the director's cut)

[starberry-cupcake]

I don't think I have a lot to update today because life got in the way of me reading as much as I wanted, but if I don't note things down, I'm gonna forget, so here we are. I'm not sure if I'll be able to update tomorrow, but I'll be back as soon as as I can, more for my own peace of mind than anything else.

previously, in harrowlicious the ninth:

this happened

also, I may have or may have not been slightly spoiled about a thing because people in my dash don't use the tags available to us mortals, so I'm gonna have to sprint if I see any semblance of skull make up in my dash

close the tab immediately

close my eyes and cover them for good measure

currently, chapters 12 & 13:

we are training how to...kill planets, I think

basically, I think we're killing a planet and killing the thing that comes out of it when it's killed

this is what the care bears taught me not to do when I was a kid

actually, I think they even made a new one in the new re-design thing specifically to make the point even clearer than in the 90s

this new one

that's the opposite of what these people are doing rn

so harrowbean is training with mercygirl on how to be environmentally unconscious

if I am understanding the dynamics correctly, you kill the planet and then you chase the planet's soul aka beast through the river and kill that too

if the ones they're escaping from are bigger than these, they must have fucked up massively with whatever they destroyed

when I started reading gideon, I thought the houses were like planet-coded

you know, nine houses and all that

the ninth is now a hypothetical mysterious ninth planet

but back when my astrology lesson was sailor moon

the ninth was pluto

and in that mindset, the ninth would be setsuna meiou, which checked out with some of the harrow aesthetics, I mean

a mix between these two looks???

I went on a tangent, anyway

I moved on from that idea later but, in any case, these people must have destroyed some fucking huge thing to make the mess they're in now

so, basically, in order to chase the planet's soul (which they call beast, but I think that's disrespectful), that's where the cavalier comes in

the slurped cav is meant to keep the lyctor running through that process, so that their body doesn't collapse

and it's meant to have their instincts kick in to do the final push and use the sword they were trained to use

if mayonnaise uncle had not done what he did, he would have probably been good at this part

but he was obliterated

by hubris

so, harrow cannot do this

WHICH IS GREAT

for us, at least, because it's more hope for the "gideon isn't gone" theory that keeps us together

I speak in plural, as if you didn't know exactly what's happening, but you get what I mean

in my mind, we're like this, waiting for gideon to come back

so augustine calls harrow "diet lyctor"

he should call her "lyctor lite"

mercygirl gives harrow crap for not being able to sustain herself due to her lack of cavalier-ness

augustine makes fun of her for her lack of cavalier-ness

and I'm here like...you guys are the ones who started this mess?????

it's not up to a teen to save you in a couple months from something you haven't been able to fix in 10k years????

maybe you deserve it????????

what is this, evangelion????

harrow, coming back from the training and planet killing

harrow visits yandere twin in her new designated room

yandere twin has a room with a lot of nudes

"life sized nudes in languorous attitudes, generally in oils, and all of the same two persons. They were enthusiastically executed. The duo posing held a variety of objects both likely and unlikely."

so...which lyctor ordered a ton of nsfw fanart of themselves and their cav or whatever????

I'm assuming it's a portrait of one of them and it's this kind of situation

yandere twin apparently likes the nudes, so they're staying there

harrow doesn't like them

I think it's A Lot tbh, but it's not my lyctor room, so I'm not telling her what to do

who has the room with the ceramics collection? because I call dibs on that

anyway, yandere twin is having a hard time with this too

both of them are having a hard time with doing it, not with the ethical or moral implications of what they're doing or why johnny john john is asking them to do these things

harrow can kill the stuff faster, but she can't be trusted to be able to stay alive after

harrow was never very good at not getting physically damaged at all times

yandere twin has a hard time making chad cooperate

who would have thought

imma assume it's a problem you might encounter when you slurped your cav against their will

which is what we think happened, idk, we found him stabbed in the back so

and also it's chad

chad complained about everything all the time

harrow tells her it's psychological

the mental health care plan of the lyctors looks like this

also, harrow suggests yandere twin to cut her new arm if it bothers her

I mean, that's one solution, I guess

it's a very harrow solution

yandere twin points out that harrow is the emperor's favorite

that sounds like a very bad thing tbh

she also asks harrow to make her own arm grow back again and harrow says no because she's not good at the fleshy bits

"the fleshy bits"sounds like something cursed that comes with cereal in a magnus archives episode

but you get the idea

we end the chapter with harrow appreciating yandere twin's company because, when she found her after she had stabbed not!dulcinea's corpse, she said "wish you'd taken off her arms"

I respect that too

again, no camilla yet

well, this wasn't as long or entertaining but I'll come back whenever I can...life needs to let me read this book

[riverssongs13]

People talking about autism: "neurodivergent this, neurospicy that"

Which is all and good but, I have a love-hate relationship with my brand of the spicy brain.

Yesterday I saw a random TikTok video that discussed how Mahler's Ninth symphony was not merely just of "death" but is quite decidedly "of dying". The video was showcasing how the audience was amazingly able to keep the last 6 minutes of controlled silence in the 9th's finale without any noise, no clapping, nothing.

The video then talked about how Mahler's Ninth is the greatest representation of the process of dying, and how the last two pages of the score runs for nearly 6 minutes despite the scarcity of notes, with the last note marked as "passing away", this last section being just an extended act of disintegration of life. The whole orchestra holding the music as long as they can, clinging on to the silence until its inevitable end.

And so upon reading that description my coffee-addled brain said, hey that sounds like The Locked Tomb series and all the characters from the Ninth House! Music and Necromancy goes brrr! And they're both NINTH so surely there must be some connection there! I must investigate this seemingly irrelevant, unconnected thing about two of my special interest!

Fast forward to now and I've spent the entire night reading countless articles, analyses, and blogposts about Mahler, I've halfway finished about three dissertations on his music, I've pirated a couple books and biographies, learned of leitmotifs, "birds", Leitklänge, and idiophonic sound symbols, and I've listened to all 90 glorious minutes of the Ninth quite repeatedly.

Which is to say, I'm definitely in over my head because the level of analysis Brain wants requires years and years of music theory that I simply do not possess, but stubborn Brain says it must be done no matter what. After a whole day of staring at musical notes and listening to literary words, one thing I can decidedly opine about is that there are parallels between the whole Locked Tomb series and the four structural movements of Mahler's Ninth:

I. Andante comodo (D major) - Gideon the Ninth II. Im Tempo eines gemächlichen Ländlers. Etwas täppisch und sehr derb (C major) - Harrow the Ninth III. Rondo-Burleske: Allegro assai. Sehr trotzig (A minor) - Nona the Ninth IV. Adagio. Sehr langsam und noch zurückhaltend (D♭ major) - Alecto the Ninth, once it gets published

I have yet to form a deeper impression on all this but, I just find it funny how indeed, the movements somewhat represent the titular characters and their experiences, based on the titles alone. Andante comodo - comfortably at a moderate tempo. (If that doesn't scream GIDEON I don't know what does lol) Im Tempo eines gemächlichen Ländlers. Etwas täppisch und sehr derb - At the pace of a leisurely Ländler. A bit clumsy and very rough (our Lady Harrowhark, post-lobotomy, bleeding ears and all).

Admittedly, I haven't finished Nona, and we're still collectively suffering Alectopause, but movements III and IV are Rondo-Burleske: Allegro assai. Sehr trotzig - Very cheerful, very defiant; and Adagio. Sehr langsam und noch zurückhaltend - very slow and still reserved. Do with that information what you will. (I'm still betting it'll ring quite true for Alecto once it's out).

So there. This is currently eating at my neurons. The next few days or weeks will have no music save the Ninth, or until this particular itch gets scratched/gets replaced. Faaaaak. I truly envy neurotypicals who do not suffer these kinds of sudden obsessions. How quiet must your brains be. 🥴

[serendipizzy79]

Guess who started (finally) reading Gideon the Ninth...

And decided they needed to be added as custom companions to my bard Kalypso's team...

Yeah...

Harrow is a Sorcerer with blood magic who has branched out into Wizardry for the Necromancy. She is fucking brilliant in battle. Griddle is a fighter who just hits things very very hard - I have given her a longsword as she isn't at all happy with the cav rapier and I'm respecting that! They are in their camp jammies here, I'll have to take more shots in the field.

[bonesbonesbones69]

A GTN Fanmix

It's done!!! I can't believe it. I spent so much time on this, I had so much fun. I'm still doing final touches on the HTN playlist but it will also be done so soon. For now: Gideon.

Track list:

The Legend of Chavo Guerrero (The Mountain Goats)

Bitter Rivals (Sleigh Bells)

Hast Though Considered the Tetrapod (The Mountain Goats)

Mark on You (The Mountain Goats)

End Love (Ok Go)

Clear the Area (Imogen Heap)

Ask (The Smiths)

Anything For You (Ludo)

Everything I Am is Yours (Villagers)

Matilda (Alt-J)

Bleed Out (The Mountain Goats)

I know that's a lot of mountain goats. But this is my playground and I'm doing whatever I want, and you can't stop me.

Song breakdown under the cut! I get wordy, i've put a lot of thought into this playlist. Like a really embarrassing amount of thought. It's long. but also truly optional, this playlist can be enjoyed without my deep dive!! Enjoy!!

Yesssss you looked under the cut! Welcome to every thought i've ever had.

THE LEGEND OF CHAVO GUERRERO - THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

One thing I love about GTN is Gideon vs. her comic hero fantasies. It's heavily themed throughout this playlist, so we're starting with the concept.

I lose my mind thinking about Gideon spending her whole life dreaming about BEING someone and MAKING SOMETHING of herself through living out the action hero stories in her comics. That's what it means to be important and wanted, to fight and win and be covered in babes. Like they do in the comics.

Lyrics:

Before a black and white TV in the middle of the night I'm lying on the floor. I'm bathed in the light The telecast's in Spanish. I can understand some And I need justice in my life; here it comes

And then of course in the months between when she leaves the ninth and when dies, she lives the action comic hero scene by devoting herself dramatically to her necromancer and dying in battle for her - a short and tragic twist on the glorious victory found in comics, but also exactly what Gideon wanted from the comics: meaning to her actions. Being someone and making something of herself.

That shit makes me emotional so we're starting here, with the legend of chavo guerrero, and Gideon's childhood hero dreams.

BITTER RIVALS - SLEIGH BELLS

Ok the playlist is about "Gideon as the Action Hero" but its ALSO OF COURSE about Gideon + Harrow's relationship because I have the same disease about it that you all do. If you clicked down to read this stupid fanmix deep dive I can guarantee you also have this disease. the disease where we love Gideon + Harrow's relationship.

So here's a song about it :)

You are my bitter rival But I need you for survival

What else can I say??

This playlist is more or less chronologically aligned to GTN itself, which is something I love doing with playlists. Accordingly, this ones about them hating each other (yet... homoerotically?) and being inextricably tangled in each other at the same time. but don't worry, I have some gooier songs later.

HAST THOU CONSIDERED THE TETRAPOD - THE MOUNTAIN GOATS (AGAIN)

But not yet! Before we get to gooey love songs we have to listen to more child abuse songs.

Held under these smothering waves By your strong and thick-veined hands But one of these days I'm going to wriggle up on dry land

And it's also about maladaptive daydreaming and the persistent belief that there is a better future for you out there!!!

Playlist title is taken from this song - "I am young and I am good" as a self-identifier in the context of escaping and growing beyond an abusive household feel so right for Gideon, who is hungry for glory, but even more hungry to just be useful and acknowledged. To show that she is good and be validated as good. She hasn't had much opportunity in her life so far, which is SO unfair, because she is young and she is good!

MARK ON YOU - THE MOUNTAIN GOATS (GET USED TO IT)

When this is over, when we leave this all behind us Deep in the moonless night, when the rescue team finds us It's gonna get so dark for you I'm gonna leave a mark on you

What's perfect about this song is how threatening it is, and the implied violence... but also how in the same breath it implies an emotional footprint and no violence is ever confirmed. Do I even have to say that it's on here as a one-two punch referencing both harrow + Gideon's fighting and ALSO Gideon's sacrifice?? Of course that's why it's on here!!

It also gets bonus points for being off of the mountain goat's album 'bleed out', which was inspired by classic action movies. The action movie vibe comes through in the song, and therefore is a beautiful head-nod to Gideon the Action Hero at the same time as its a tragic foreshadowing to the nature of the mark that Gideon does in fact leave.

END LOVE - OK GO

Ok we're getting a little romantic. It's time for some songs about BUILDING TRUST ON PURPOSE

Cause no one's gonna save you, if you don't swim for the boat No one's gonna save you, if you won't take the rope No one's gonna find you, when you're hiding in the dark No one's gonna find you

The most romantic shit in the world to me is the combo of Harrow choosing to be vulnerable on purpose, and Gideon being so ready to accept and guard that vulnerability. Harrow's choices to let Gideon in are of course so delicious because theyre marinated in how absurdly difficult it is for her. And she does it so deliberately. She does it because she NEEDS to. Because the alternative (not having Gideons partnership) is so much worse. And that's romantic to me.

ASK - THE SMITHS

If there's something you'd like to try If there's something you'd like to try Ask me, I won't say no, how could I

Ok cmon. Right??

It's the other overwhelmingly romantic thing. The thing where Gideon is so ready to be there for harrow, when she's given the opportunity. When she's asked. And this is also STILL about having to be vulnerable and purposeful to build trust. Or the bomb will get you, or the whatever.

CLEAR THE AREA - IMOGEN HEAP

Ok here's the thing - I don't believe in criticizing your own art. Like posting something and saying 'oh its so bad' or pointing out all the stuff that didn't turn out right. It's self-defeating to give everyone the first impression that the thing you made is bad, before they have a chance to create their own impressions.

HOWEVER

The tone of this whole playlist is whack. Each song alone is great, but overall, the vibe is kind of sappy and idealistic and sweet - which feels so disparate from the tone of Gideon herself. I stand by the song choices I made but god I wish the vibe was more defensive, more funny, more bitter, more irreverent, more STUPID. ‘Bitter rivals’ is the only song on this playlist with the energy I dream of. I looked at some other riot grrl music but couldn’t find anything I loved. Ok I got so mad about this that I made a second playlist just now with only 'Gideon vibes' and no songs that have anything to do with shit that actually happened in GTN. Its here, it took 10m, and its very good.

Anyways, I’m telling you now because the song 'Clear the Area' is truly guilty of being too sweet and sincere.

Having said that, it absolutely belongs on this playlist anyways and I will defend it!

You find your way back down And I'll keep the area clear. When you find your way back down, in one piece Then I'll just be waiting here, right here.

This incredibly soft song is still solidly on the track of 'building trust on purpose or else the bomb will get you'. even more than that, it's about protecting and loving someone who is so wrapped up in their own shit that they do a very bad job of reaching out. and what about that DOESNT belong on a GTN playlist!!!

ANYTHING FOR YOU - LUDO

I don't have specific lyrics I want to share out for this one, but the entire thing as a whole deserves some attention: the singer lists fantastical and daring and victorious scenarios that they, clearly an adventurous hero, has completed, and then easily says that they'd give away all best things from their adventures for the song's subject.

It's an "all in" pledge that fits comfortably in with the cavalier oath. It's the commitment!! The gravity of devotion!!

and it's ALSO ABOUT IMAGINING YOURE A HERO yes thats right we are BACK to Gideon and the Action Hero. The song doesn't actually say that all the scenarios are imagined, but the variety and fantasy hint that they could easily be imagined. At the very least, they're supposed to make us think about adventure stories and that's good enough for me.

A fun little bonus for this one is the line "but the best story I could ever tell is the one where I am growing old with you," which I'm calling out because I get a little kick out of the 'growing old' theme. There's also a line in the legend of chavo guerrero, "I don't know but i've been told, it's real sweet to grow old". Between these two songs, the easy coupling of 'I dream of heroic deeds' with 'I will grow old' is... I mean.... tragic. I'm having fun, are you having fun?

EVERYTHING I AM IS YOURS - VILLAGERS

This is one of the first songs I put on this playlist. It's significant that this song has stayed on so long, I started seriously working on this playlist a month ago (in tandem with an HTN playlist) and i've removed and replaced most of the songs I started with.

There were times when I did consider removing it - I wondered if this song was a little redundant with 'anything for you'. Both are songs about devoting yourself fully to someone else. But what this song has that 'anything for you' doesn't, is the idea that 'everything I am' comes with the bad as well as the good. It's a promise and also a resigned statement.

I find it hard to say what's going on inside Got these little walls, couldn't break them if I tried But I promise I'll be true. And I promise I'll be right Sickness and in health. In the darkness and the light I give you every side 'Cause everything I am is yours

MATILDA - ALT J

OK WAIT HEAR ME OUT WAIT HEAR ME OUT WAIT WAIT IM SERIOUS ABOUT THIS ONE

It's a little high concept but whatever this is my playlist and I can do whatever I want!! you're welcome its not another mountain goats song.

The song Matilda by Alt J is not only a classic indie hit from 2012 with lyrics so warbly theyre basically nonsense, it is also explicitly about the ending to the 1994 action film 'Leon: The Professional'. Which I am about to talk about, so if you don't want spoilers, don't read the rest of this section!

So what happens at the end of the professional (and i'm stalling writing the sentence in case you are trying to skim over this to avoid spoilers), is that Leon (the professional himself) dies taking out an enemy with a grenade. This action saves the life of a young girl (Matilda) who he's taken under his wing, and who has brought new meaning into his life. Before blowing himself up, he hands the pin to the enemy, saying 'this is from Matilda', it's beautiful i cried blah blah blah

Put the grenade pin in your hand, so you understand who's boss. My defeat sleeps top to toe with her success Oh this is from, this is from, This is from Matilda

By now we're all on the same page, it's a song about dying so that someone you love will stay alive and finding meaning and purpose in that action, it's a song about what happened at the end of GTN.

AND it's a song about an action hero

AND it is itself the artistic reverb that the action hero had throughout pop culture!!!

Alt J saw 'the professional' and thought holy shit thats meaningful i'm gonna write a song about it. Gideon read comics and thought holy shit thats meaningful someday im gonna put my own life on the line for a necromancer. Then she DID, and DIED. Which is INSANE and I cried way more than I cried at the professional.

And the playlist ends on the next song for the exact same reason.

BLEED OUT - THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

What can I even say!! I'm only gonna quote a couple lyrics here but I could really go line-by-line for this entire 7 minute song.

There was a chance we'd make it through this It's safe to say now that we missed it And I will never lose hope, and I haven't lost hope I'm just realistic I will go down punching, but I will go down and my corner man won't bring me back around Bleed out I'm gonna bleed out

This is the second song on this playlist from the action-movie inspired album 'bleed out', and this song is about the endings to action movies where the heroes die. It's about the trope that happened to Leon and Gideon. It's a little tongue in cheek, it's funny, extremely genre-savvy, long, slow, and sad.

The tone, content, and meta commentary about action heroes all make this one of my favorite songs on the playlist.

Every story needs a child who believes The brave hero's gonna be just fine You only have to check the papers to see Some of these children end up just like me Bleed out I'm gonna bleed out

I was sooo close to naming this playlist “every story needs a child who believes” but it’s a mouthful. So let’s just take a moment here, deep in the playlist footnotes, to think about it.

Are you thinking about it? I'm thinking about it.

Anyways, that's the whole playlist. If you read this (any of it), thank you, I love you. I am going to miss this playlist now that I'm casting it out into the wild. But it's time. I think it's complete.

See you again when I get the final touches on the HTN playlist. which has just as many mountain goats songs. and is even better ;)

[thereadingchallengechallenge]

TBR tag game

thank you for the tag @horrorgirlreads :3 putting it on my book blog

Rules: Share 9 books you read last year and 9 books you're looking forward to reading this year.

2024 reads - some books I enjoyed but that didn't make it onto my top 24 list:

Come Out, Come Out by Natalie C Parker - a haunting story about three queer teenagers forced into the closet by circumstance who come to terms with their identities only to be cursed by a ghost to closet themselves again

The Shape of Water by Guillermo del Toro & Daniel Kraus - the novelisation of the movie but guys, guys, it's better than the movie. the characterisation is so much deeper and it's so funny and it's just absolutely beautiful, please try it if you can

Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir - why didn't i put this in my top 24? oh my god. this book. it took me so long to get here but I'm so glad I finally made it

The Pairing by Casey McQuiston - a fun summer romance with great characterisation with the hottest sex scenes I've read for a long time hehe

Cuckoo by Gretchen Felker-Martin - another one I don't understand why I didn't put on the other list. I loved discovering her writing this year and while Manhunt was great, I preferred the characters in Cuckoo

Every Exquisite Thing by Laura Steven - a YA retelling of The Picture of Dorian Gray that took the original story and talked about vanity and self-image in some incredibly interesting ways

The Redemption of Morgan Bright by Chris Panatier - if I'd known this was about the horrors of forced birth as written by a man, I probably wouldn't have picked it up but Panatier did such a good job tackling such a complicated topic. a hard read but a good one

A Sorceress Comes to Call by T Kingfisher - I'm really gravitating towards stories about mothers and daughters at the moment and this one hit just right. I love Kingfisher's fantasy so much, it's always so sweet and comforting

Dreadful by Caitlin Rozakis - a guy wakes up in the body of the dark lord and has no idea how he got there. there are goblins and a garlic festival and a very clever princess and I just had so much fun with this one. I feel like the cozy fantasy girlies are sleeping on it

okay. 2025. what else do I wanna read...

Triple Sec by TJ Alexander

A Letter to the Luminous Deep by Sylvie Cathrall

Hemlock and Silver by T Kingfisher

The Teller of Small Fortunes by Julie Leong

The God of the Woods by Liz Moore

After We Burned by Marieke Nijkamp

Right Beside You by Tucker Shaw

The Listeners by Maggie Stiefvater

Lucy Undying by Kiersten White

tagging anyone with a "G" in their URL ;)