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revelingrexan · 2 months ago

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RECORD FOR MY LONGEST TUMBLR YAPPING EVER, GO! (THIS IS PART 1 OF 2 LOL. LINK TO PART 2!! )

HELLO FOLKS I'M GOING TO DO A LIVEBLOG-BY-MEMORY OF MY FIRST TIME WATCHING HAZBIN EPISODE 5, AKA LUCIFER'S INTRO

...except it turned into a "why i like Hazbin's Lucifer" thing because i have so many thoughts while watching animated things, especially Vivzie's animated things because i'm a nerd and i'm constantly going "-Minecraft Steve dying noises- THAT COULD HAVE BEEN DONE BETTER" aND I DIDN'T WANT TO TYPE ALL MY THOUGHTS, WHICH WOULD TAKE LITERAL HOURS AND HOURS QJFKSQJJKQSJKS (WELL, ADDITIONAL "HOURS AND HOURS" TO WHAT I'VE ALREADY SPENT ON THIS)

(AND I MAINLY WANTED TO MAKE THIS POST SO FUTURE-ME COULD REMEMBER WHY I GOT SO WILDLY OBSESSED WITH THIS CARTOON MAN FOR WELL OVER A YEAR+ ANYWAY)

ACTUALLY, ON THAT NOTE: if you're here just to have a good time enjoying Hazbin rambles, DO be aware this post may lean more toward a "Hazbin critical" post, especially at the beginning. i would have gotten a Minecraft game over if each thing that bugged me caused me physical damage, even in just the first minute and a half. (mainly animation stuff, but some writing stuff too)

NECESSARY DISCLAIMER FOR ANYONE WHO MAY HAVE WANDERED HERE: THIS IS A RAMBLE ABOUT HAZBIN HOTEL, SO THERE WILL BE SOME SWEARING AND MATURE HUMOR MENTIONS

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most of the following was written with voice-to-text because i had a sprained hand, so if there are any weird word choices that just make NO SENSE, feel free to let me know and i'll fix it! (i've proofread it to death, but there's almost definitely things i've missed) ...but the weird capitalizations and Alastor's name mis-written as "Alastair" are staying LOL

SORRY TO STINKY DEER MAN. VOICE-TO-TEXT DOESN'T KNOW HIS NAME AND EVEN MY "GOOD" SHOULDER/ARM WASN'T IN A PLACE TO BE ABLE TO FIX ALL THOSE (MY BODY IS TERRIBLE AND CONSTANTLY INJURED)

SO HERE WE GO:

PSYCH MORE DISCLAIMER FIRST LOL

don't worry if you don't know what i'm talking about with the animation or art stuff, and don't worry if you like parts i didn't because i was distracted by the animation (especially the song "More than Anything"). i'm just a picky nerd. also, if you want, you can ask about animation things and i can explain. i love rambling about animation!!! :D

i get a bit personal about mental health stuff and other things, but i don't think any of it requires trigger warnings; i'm generally pretty vague on specifics and i don't talk about anything too severe

again, bad body, sprained hand, lots of voice-to-text. some word choices might not make sense, so feel free to point those out, but i won't fix capitalizations or Alastor's misspelled "Alastair" name lol

remember, the Hazbin pilot and first episode are different

these messages i sent a friend on my first watch are a decent "TL;DR" summary of this whole post, minus my thoughts on Lucifer's crowded-with-rubber-ducks room, which are especially important to why i like him so much. (TL;DR of that section: "lol he just like me for real")

(weird collage screenshots because i retyped them to exclude my typos to my friend [i minimally use backspace as a joke with her] + i wanted to keep her reactions and the timestamps)

i'm almost certain "YEAH I THINK LUCIFER'S GONNA BE MY ACTUAL FAVORITE BECAUSE HE HAS THOSE FUN FACIAL EXPRESSIONS" was when Lucifer and Alastor were pushing Charlie around. i LOOOOVE Lucifer's smug -> SURPRISE -> FROWN faces there

SO 👏

WITH THAT:

HUUUUGE YAY, HERE I GO, SELF-INDULGING SOOOORTA-LIVE-BLOGGING (AND HOPING I GET SOME COMMENTS TO INTERACT WITH. I LOVE REPLYING TO PEOPLE BUT GETTING ANY INTERACTION IS ALWAYS A TOSS UP) RAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH :DD

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hazbin hotel has taught me that unreliable narrator is one of my favorite narrative devices. How an event is narrated can simultaneously worldbuild and teach the audience about the character who's narrating. it would make sense that the opening story of Hazbin, written by a mother for her child and written about that mother herself and her husband, would paint herself and her husband in a better light than they might deserve

learning more about Lucifer was something I was REALLY looking forward to ever since episode one's opening, with the children's story talking about "Lucifer's ideas for creation" and then not elaborating whatsoever on what those ideas might be. how excitingly ominous!

and then episode 5 starts. (We're not to Lucifer's intro yet in this retelling. i don't even know what the episode will be about. hold on XD)

and the animation is terrible

while episodes 1 through 3 felt pretty cramped in their writing's pacing and episode 3 had a few animation/character design consistency moments that made me grimace, overall, their animation quality was pretty consistent and good. (Well, the writing quality for episode 3 was awful. Just really terrible. But that's a whole other post I might or might not make, with, at this point, "might not" looking more likely unless someone asks XD) (episode 4, Angel Dust's episode, was AMAZING, especially with its writing. single best episode in the series. i have some critiques, but overall it's great, and i'm impressed with its pacing)

watching episodes 1 through 4, I wasn't getting whiplash from the animation as I often do while watching Helluva Boss, which frequently changes line art types between animators or clean-up artists and can even pretty dramatically change a character's look between shots

and. Yeah. episode 5.

Even after watching episodes six through eight, 5 is STILL the worst animated episode in the entire series, and I would say that includes if I were to count all of the Helluva Boss episodes

... although, now that I'm thinking about it, I don't know if I would categorize it as having as bad of animation as the Hazbin pilot XD Now I want to rewatch the pilot just to see which I think has worse animation quality/consistency: the pilot or episode 5 lol

BUT I'M GETTING DISTRACTED. (AND, SERIOUSLY, DON'T WORRY IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED ANY OF WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT HERE OR IF YOU DON'T AGREE. SERIOUSLY, DON'T STRESS ABOUT IT. THE REASONING/OBSERVATIONS BEHIND THESE ANIMATION RAMBLES ARE SUPER NICHE)

SO. YES. BACK TO EPISODE 5 LIVEBLOGGING THING.

I grimace at the drawing of Charlie looking upward as she tells herself to think:

Not much wrong with the underlying drawing itself -- it's heavily stylized, and that's okay. But the line art on her mouth is a lot thicker than it should be and doesn't have the correct "lipstick" tapering she usually has (extra, extra thick in the middle of her lips, thin at the corners of her mouth). Plus, her movements have really rough settling and feel gross to me. i internally grimace at this whole shot, but It's okay, i tell myself. Hazbin hotel's animation and art quality have improved a lot! This could just be a bad shot that slipped through. it happens! making shows and movies can be chaotic!

... uh-oh. Now the line weights on Charlie's face and body in this shot are wrong too:

I'm starting to feel bad about the episode already, and I don't even know what it's going to be about. (the only thing I DID know about episode 5 was Alistair was going to go "big and freaky monster form" because of the thumbnail Amazon gave the episode, and I was looking forward to that from a glimpse I got in a teaser)

(I'm actually rewatching the episode alongside making this post, to get specific moments if any arise that I want to discuss, and ugh lol, I might just make another post -- probably on my rambles side blog, not here, because I prefer to keep it at least MOSTLY positive and fun here -- doing a whole play-by-play of episode 5. even though I couldn't have known it on my first view, I now have so many comments to make about Charlie's mimicking her dad and saying, " 'gO aHeAd, KiLL eVeRyOnE.' " again, hazbin hotel taught me I love unreliable narrating. and, spoiler alert, Hazbin taught me that because of how poorly it does unreliable narrating, or because of how it almost doesn't do it at all. :( )

(ANYWAY)

when Charlie turns around and says, "Wait! That's... IT!"

her face is distractingly off model and now I'm feeling even WORSE about the direction this episode is going. episode 3 flashbacks lol. If you don't count Hazbin's 30 second intro, we're not even one minute into episode 5, and it's already looking like we're gonna get something as bad as episode 3

side note:

off-model Charlie (i think a big part of the "off-model" impression here is 1. mainly because her eyelashes are so gigantic they almost hide her eyebrows, and a character having no eyebrows when they usually do can look odd, and 2. her pupils aren't wide enough or circular enough): "Wait! That's... IT!"

Vaggie: "Kill everyone?"

Vaggie's line is sincerely one of the best jokes in the series lol. Love that

...okay yeah, I'm not going to do as accurate of a play-by-play of my first viewing of episode 5 as I can, because that would take so so so so so so long XD But, at least one more non-lucifer related note because I do like to point out strong moments in Vivziepop's shows:

I DO feel good about Charlie differentiating between Adam being a terrible person and between all of heaven being untrustworthy (unclear wording on my part lol: What I mean is, she calls Adam an asshole, but she has hope the rest of heaven will be open to her redemption idea and not so dismissive and rude to her.)

her naivete up to this point hasn't given me the impression that she would make that sort of differentiation (and, by the time of episode 5, Vivzie's and especially Hazbin's writing style in general hasn't given me the impression Vivzie would do anything more with Heaven than "Heaven Evil, Actually")

so, anyway, let's skip some more animation rambles and a comedic timing rant, and fast forward to:

Angel Dust: "Well I'd like to meet the big dick in charge!"

Niffty: "The ULTIMATE bad boy! (giggles maniacally) I bet he's SCARY."

My brain goes into overdrive after Niffty's line, especially since it transitions from "I bet he's SCARY" to "-scratchy, guttural voice intended to be powerful and intimidating in a dark room-"

that "overly in agreement with the adjective 'scary' " transition tells me there's an upcoming tonal whiplash joke, meaning Lucifer isn't going to be scary at all

further, the dark room setting that we're given right away, shows that the pictures Lucifer has up are off-kilter.

so, he's not scary (which we can know because of the color tone and audio transition agreeing TOO much with Niffty's statement). he's disorganized. he has multiple photos of him happy with his family Even though they haven't been together for years, and he even has a photo of Charlie in what might have been for most parents a "teenage phase" that they'd like to forget

but apparently Lucifer loves Charlie so much, that he even fondly looks back on her angsting teenager years -- he kept that photo and even hung it up

tonal whiplash joke incoming confirmed, and an especially poorly done one at that. visually, the whiplash could have been done better if there were more obvious signs of neglect, damage, or wear, or maybe even a sheet partially covering one of the images, at first misleadingly implying he doesn't want to associate with or think about his family anymore

instead, he clearly loves his daughter and his family, even though Charlie feels alienated from him. maybe she hasn't seen him in a while because he's a shut-in, or he needed to mostly cut off contact for some reason and we'll find out that reason shortly

when it comes to character intros, overbuilding a character being intimidating and then doing a 180 to show that they're not is one of my least favorite jokes. ever. so my thinking " 'this person actually isn't scary' tonal whiplash joke confirmed" isn't a good time

sudden drop in animation quality, poor dialogue pacing... yep, this episode is off to a TERRIBLE start

...side note

i totally thought Lucifer was masturbating at first

when I later watched this episode with my brother, he did too. (I forget exactly what he said, but he was a bit taken aback or made some joke about it.) and Jeremy Jordan (Lucifer's voice actor) makes a joke in a character description about Lucifer and says Lucifer "play[s] with his dick all day." (Jeremy's swearing so much in that video because the Hazbin voice actors are playing a game of "see how much you can swear while describing your character.")

so, the "oh, he's masturbating" visual misread may have been intentional lol even tho idt i've seen anyone mention this

end of that side note

now an animation side note: the rises and settles of Lucifer's shoulders here are not done well. Very blocky, like that first moment that put me off with Charlie at the start. episode 5's animation sucks

i think to myself, hating this episode, that this is a terrible first animation to use for an important character's introduction. this poorly executed intro is especially egregious because he's mentioned and even vaguely shown in the pilot, and he also gets the same "importantly mentioned but passingly shown" treatment in the very first episode--

"... THE MAGIC-TASTICAL BACKFLIPPING RUBBER DUCK!"

okay that's hilarious and adorable. that was great

"THAT SPITS FIRE!!!"

INCREDIBLE. I LOVE HIM.

Lucifer: "Hold the applause, please, okay! Heh, alright, thank you…" ... ohp the animation, lineart, and visual timing are bad again. but I've already forgotten how much I hated the lead up to his intro with that "tonal whiplash" joke, because his intro is SO GOOD XD

--- ...hm. huh. his voice is. just a guy. kinda boring and an odd choice. (DON'T ATTACK ME I DIDN'T KNOW JEREMY JORDAN AT THIS POINT ;QJSFKJKQSJKSKQJ. HIS VOICE WAS LITERALLY "JUST A GUY" TO ME)

aND OH. I WAS FAR MORE RIGHT THAN I EXPECTED ABOUT HIM BEING A SHUT-IN. A DARK ROOM WITH TILTED PHOTOS, FILLED WITH RUBBER DUCKS, GIVING THE IMPRESSION OF ISOLATION AND OBSESSIVE PROBLEM-IGNORING.

THIS GUY IS NOT DOING OKAY

and now here's one of the first reasons I started to especially get attached to him, rather than just go "haha What a funny character":

My own mental health issues!! -jazz hands-

things have improved a lot, and I haven't self-sabotaged for a while at levels that I did in the past, but one of my coping mechanisms when I'm stressed is over-focusing on media I like or over-focusing on side projects.

(Don't worry about my blogs hyper fixating on stuff, genuinely. I don't think most people can tell from the outside when it's at a self-sabotaging point until there are signs like failing classes [self-sabotaging to that level only happened one semester but WOW it was miserable]. but, even tho it may not be visible from the outside, I can tell the emotions and feelings behind what I'm doing. usually there's almost only anxiety of "this isn't what i should be doing" with no enjoyment at those points, and i'm spending NO TIME AT ALL on responsibilities.

let me emphasize: in that situation when i'm exceedingly stressed and don't know what to do or am too scared to do what i'm aware i should, i may be spending almost all my time on hobbies or interests, but it's MISERABLE AND IT'S NOT EVEN HOW I WANT TO BE SPENDING MY TIME. I'M TOO SCARED TO DO ANYTHING ELSE, AND I MIGHT EVEN BE TELLING MYSELF "STOP, THIS ISN'T WHAT YOU SHOULD BE DOING" THE ENTIRE TIME

all that is also different from my ADHD difficulty with switching tasks, altho "overfocusing to avoid things" and ADHD executive dysfunction can mix together and make each other exponentially worse if i don't take care of myself. anxiety and ADHD are dumb and tricky to work with... but at least i'm self-aware and can usually tell apart which of those two is causing me problems? lol????

anyway, point being of this parenthetical aside, other than partially being more detail on why i relate so much to this maladaptive coping mechanism: hyperfixating is what I do by default, and I'm doing fine right now. :p :) 💜)

Lucifer's barely been onscreen for ten seconds, and he's doing well on becoming a character I like. already he has in his favor:

having a moment done so well, that it pushes past my preemptive eye rolling (The overbuilt intro [bad] followed by The Rubber Duck [magic-tastical]. ....although if a moment has to be done SO well that it pushes past preemptive eye rolling, maybe that's not a shortcut XD)

specific poor coping mechanism that I strongly relate to

and now for an "oh boy this episode's animation SUCKS" interlude: i'll just copy-paste a ramble I sent a friend a while ago about animation quality on this whole Lucifer intro scene.

___

OH BOY EP 5 HAS SUCH MESSY ANIMATION CLEANUP LOL and i'm genuinely not convinced Lucifer was given a character [reference] sheet [more specifically, i'm not convinced he was given a turnaround] from how many variations there are in his design.

i'll share at least some of the most obvious moments that are easily available on YouTube https://youtu.be/dYw9LArY690?si=dPWJUMgiGIU0lfyJ

in general in these three shots, pretty nice line variation, with thicker lines on the outside of the character and thinner ones on the inside (details and inner lines are thinner than the bolder "overall form" outside lines) + individual lines change in thickness along their lengths (e.g. some lines are thicker in the center and thinner at the ends, and vice versa for others):

for the most part in these two screenshots, lines are ALL the same thickness, whether inside or outside the character, as well as the same thickness all along their lengths:

from 2:03 to 2:11 of the linked clip, my brother [[when i watched the episode with him later]] said something like "animator change speedrun" because of the lineart and character styles changing in almost every shot lol (timestamp in link here) https://youtu.be/dYw9LArY690?t=123

___

now for listing more things that Lucifer does well that I relate to or simply enjoy, just in his intro scene (While implicitly acknowledging the animation/cleanup/consistency oversight continues to be terrible lol):

practicing before a phone call (I've only done this a few times, and not with anyone as important to me as Charlie is to Lucifer, but it's felt necessary a few times, even if i felt awkward doing it each time. but even if i don't often rehearse for phonecalls, it's not uncommon for me to write bulletpoint lists for them beforehand [usually not with friends or casual calls, but sometimes] )

especially when already in a poor head space, speaking poorly of any attempts i might do at almost anything, as Lucifer does at his practiced lines to Charlie and as he did with the Magic-tastical rubber duck

SO MANY funny faces and so much movement and expressiveness

EXUBERANT too energetic greeting to make it seem like he's doing well. that "HEY! How are ya!!!" reminds me of so many times that I've needed to pretend to be okay almost immediately after a breakdown or felt like I need to force myself to seem like I'm in a good mood for someone who I feel is doing worse than me. (this is not necessarily healthy)

(bolding some of the quoted parts to visually break up text blocks and make skimming easier)

Charlie: "You know where I am, Dad! I've told you before!" -insert The ADHD Meme:-

... except in the above case, I'm not applying "ADHD" to Lucifer, and, even now more than a year later, I still don't want to until given more character information. instead, I'm seeing "depressed and withdrawing from the world, and suffering from memory issues that come alongside depression."

unfortunately, I relate to that too -- depression memory issues -- and Hazbin's writing so far is doing a great job at saying "depression" without literally saying it. (fortunately, my relating to depression is an "in the past" thing. also here, in my experiences, "depression / dissociating memory loss" and "ADHD memory loss" feel different from each other. AT LEAST I'M SELF-AWARE?? LOL????????)

(side note: Lucifer being autistic and having ADHD are popular headcanons in the fandom. i respect those headcanons and am not telling anyone they need to change them. i can see it. i just don't feel like i can, in good faith with my understanding of his character, say those apply to him until we've seen him under less stress and less pressure. many anxiety, stress, and depression responses can read as ADHD or autism, and the frequent comorbidity of any of these with each other make them even trickier to individually identify)

Lucifer: "Well, you know, I um... Uh." THAT DELIVERY AND HIS EXPRESSIONS. FUNNI. GOOD.

but also, i interpret the above moment as maybe more evidence of memory issues from depression (if it's not just him not knowing how to avoid saying "i was. making ducks"). this writing is awesome (sincere)

Charlie: "I told you when you called me 5 months ago? Or did you not listen?" Getting accused of not listening when something is just not at all in my memory is so real

Lucifer in response to Charlie's above line: "(panic that settles into an attempt of composure) No! No no no! Just--You know, just FORGOT. You know, I've just been really busy. You know with um. IMPORTANT things. 😬😶" i connected to so many parts of those few lines: the backpedaling after realizing you said the wrong thing, and the trying to make it seem like your forgetting isn't associated with how much you care about the other person (because sometimes the saying ~"If it's important, then you'd remember" just doesn't apply)

the following doesn't as directly tie to what's going on with Lucifer in the story But nonetheless gives me an extra "ping" of "I relate to this guy." still with the above moment, specifically the awkward lie of he's been busy with "important things," a lot of my hobbies and interests can seem trivial or even shameful to much of my family.

most people find it's super cool that I animate, but somehow those same people don't always seem to make the connection that means I enjoy watching cartoons a lot, and that, even though they think animating itself is cool, somehow an adult really liking animated stories is immature, or that it's "weird" I focus so much on one series much of the time. Plus, socializing can be difficult and exhausting for me, so I need a lot of "rest days." and I'm physically disabled, Even outside of what's currently going on with my sprained hand.

basically where I'm going with this, when it comes to meeting up with people and doing things that aren't doctors' appointments or school- or work-related, I may need to negotiate dates and times with people, even though I may not technically have a lot going on, or I may not have a lot going on by other people's perspectives. just doing a doctor's appointment or hanging out with other people might exhaust me for a day or two, so already that's a lot of space "filled" in my calendar

(This is different from fatigue syndromes, since how exhausting an interaction is, is almost always directly tied to how much i need to second guess myself or mask. I think it's just an "it can be tiring to consciously and constantly analyze people's body language, tone, and word choices, as well as tiring to analyze what I say or do three times before I do anything due to autism and taught anxiety" thing.)

But giving myself my rest days so I can maintain my emotional stability and emotional health is so important. I've had people, often family, question me in annoyance before about, well, what do I have going on anyway? and the answer is watching YouTube or reading a book

But you don't need to know that. You just need to know that I'm not available the other day that you wanted to try to talk or meet up. "I'm busy," or "That day doesn't work for me."

so, yeah, "important things" said with a bit of (narrative) humor and (character) awkwardness is relatable too, even if my experience isn't what's going on in this scene

Lucifer so happily and readily wanting to help Charlie (at first lol) has actually been really important to me. i'm fortunate to have a dad who's eager to help his kids and is financially able to, But it can feel bad or shameful to ask for help. Not going to get too far into this, but some of my siblings are okay with asking for financial help, and some of us aren't. until I saw this episode, I was in a mindset of "only ask parent for financial help If you're literally in danger of dying or being (further) disabled for life," Even though almost every time I talked to my dad he would seemingly be implying, "PLEASE, Is there something I can do for you?"

--- basically, even though there were some really bad moments in my life, I still didn't see asking for his help as an option. But the shocked literally wide-eyed eagerness Lucifer shows at feeling like he can help his daughter got me to understand more fully where a parent might be coming from, a parent who cares about their child and who has the means and desire to help.

--- this small moment has literally encouraged me to ask for help when i might have been too anxious to do so before. or, with some of the things i asked for help with, maybe i still would have asked, but I would have been far more troubled and guilt-ridden than otherwise, making already stressful situations even more stressful

with all that I wrote above, I didn't take it personally when Lucifer refused Charlie's request at first. first of all, this is fiction and i'm not actually any of the characters in the story lol. second, the moment was done comedically, and almost certainly, I thought even on my first viewing, it's related to a bad past experience Lucifer has had with heaven. this is The Lucifer we're talking about after all, and his banishment is definitively established in episode 1. also I got distracted by all the bad animation and what, to me, was a too-long joke with all of his "No"s lol. (when I watched this episode for a second time, knowing how much I now liked Lucifer, I figured the multi-No moment would grow on me, and it has XD)

him wanting to see Charlie so badly is endearing lol, and his missing or entirely forgetting or ignoring the point of WHY she's inviting him over is funny, even if concerning

Lucifer: "My~ daughter~ wants to see~ meeeee~" both funny and a sweet reminder of how parents can feel about children they love: they want to spend time with their kids, and they want to feel like they matter to their kids.

--- also, this whole last moment, from before he hangs up to the end of this little singing bit, seems to hint that for some reason he wasn't spending time with Charlie because someone told him that she DIDN'T want to see him, or for some reason he convinced himself of that. this is SUPER interesting and, if i'm reading the moment correctly, i'm still curious about the origin of him having those beliefs

"TAKE THAT, DEPRESSION!!" I actually didn't care much for this moment when I first watched. it brought his depression out of a "well written but not said outright" category + where did he learn the term "depression" since it being used that way is relatively recent and he's who-knows-how-many-thousands-or-millions-or-billions of years old + he's an old geezer (many older people aren't very open about mental health diagnoses or what they view as "trendy" diagnoses) + i got concerned "depression" might be used as a narrative excuse for any of Lucifer's shortcomings or poor actions. although his face is funny :p and this moment has grown on me and I do like it now, especially after seeing how much Jeremy Jordan loves this line during his live streams

NEW SCENE. LUCIFER'S AT THE HOTEL NOW

(i caps lock this next part, although, looking at the messages to my friend as I first watched the episode, it looks like even though I was enjoying Lucifer trying and failing to be a good dad [because, in almost all circumstances, if a child, especially an adult child, feels abandoned by their parent, that parent is not doing a good job] I was still hesitant to enjoy the overall episode.

The animation has been atrocious, the pacing and joke writing has felt off, and this is the first episode released after the first chunk of four. I was concerned all Quality Control was put into the first four episodes, and that the quality of the rest of the show will have plummeted)

LUCIFER IS SO PATHETIC AND AWKWARD. HOW LONG WAS HE STANDING OUTSIDE THE DOOR. I LOVE HIM

AAAAWWWW. HE'S SO HAPPY TO BE HERE AND SO HAPPY TO SEE CHARLIE

OH MY GOODNESS HIM PETTING AND COOING AT KEEKEE IS THE CUTEST THING

--- ON A LATER VIEW WHEN I SAW HIS AWKWARD SMILE BEFORE BENDING DOWN TO PET KEEKEE, I ASSOCIATED HIS PETTING KEEKEE AS SIMILAR TO GOING TO A PARTY AND FIXATING ON A CAT OR DOG BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO INTERACT WITH THE PEOPLE. VERY RELATABLE ANXIETY / AWKWARD RESPONSE

OH MY GOODNESS HIS LITTLE DANCE AND TINY BIT OF SINGING WITH RAZZLE AND DAZZLE IS AMAZING

the "You better be" joke is actually another type of joke that I am usually not a fan of (another "OoOoOoO unexpected tone change!" joke) and it doesn't work for me here

--- ASIDE: I can say that the delivery in the Canadian French dub maybe works as a joke for me XD in English, the "you better be" isn't all that intimidating anyway, so the tonal joke isn't done well. in Canadian French, it IS more intimidating. AND his follow-up laugh is so dorky and funny. his laughing almost sounds like he's trying to be a neighing cartoon horse

honestly I can't fault Lucifer for his uncertain first looks around the hotel, followed by his "It's got a lot of character!" He's TRYING to be supportive and not discouraging. but he sucks at it. also, funni

some things are done poorly in this scene, but I forgot that i originally titled the draft of this post "why I like Lucifer." so, how about to save probably literally a few thousand words, I will just focus on moments that specifically matter to how I understand Lucifer XD

I have a very deep analysis here with Alistair starting to interact with him: haha Lucifer short and responding with funni faces :)

... oh no. I'm actually, right now, as I'm making this distractible liveblog thing, not having a lot of info in my mind on what I was thinking during my first view about alistair's early interactions with Lucifer. oh no. was I THAT focused on Lucifer's funny faces???? i should have SOMETHING else in my mind here (other than "eugh. weird animation"). oh no. maybe I WAS mainly just going "haha faces :)"

.......haha faces :) ⬇️

AHEM. ANYWAY. YEAH I THOUGHT HIS INTERACTIONS WITH ALASTOR WERE MOSTLY FUNNY AND GOOD. DUMB MEN

AND THAT'S THE END OF PART 1 BECAUSE I'VE REACHED TUMBLR'S IMAGE LIMIT LOOOOOOOL

part 2 scheduled to come out in three days on Thursday! (AND HERE IT IS NOW!)

#long post #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin lucifer #hazbin hotel lucifer morningstar #lucifer morningstar #hazbin lucifer morningstar #lucifer hazbin #lucifer hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar hazbin #lucifer morningstar hazbin hotel

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agua-cat · 8 months ago

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RELIC HOLDERS - APHMAU

Please note this is a rewritten version of Minecraft Diaries, what is here is not completely canon to the universe and I have taken various creative liberties to create what I think is a satisfactory story. Some of these choices for the relic holders are NOT forever, as some relics get passed onto other people. This list, however, is pretty definitive.

I asked my friends if I should write starting from Aphmau or Laurence. They all chose Aphmau and I probably have the least amount of lore for her so let's see what we can crack out.

Let us Begin

There are many words to describe the lady of Phoenix Drop, though I thing a perfect one is ''Enigma''. From the very beginning, Aphmau was never normal. She was self-aware of the world she resided in to a unique degree, she could make different choices and unravel a story with her at its core.

Who she was had never truly been queried. She knew her name was Aphmau and she knew she had a village to look after. Shortly after the confrontation in the Irene Dimension with Zane, Aphmau found herself back in her old house. Her sons grown and her flame of motivation threatening to flicker out.

It was lucky then that day, Hyria came to visit. Lucinda's mother had gotten worried since some news about Laurence had broken out, and for some reason her daughter always seemed enamoured with him. During her visit, however, guilt burdened her every time she set her eyes on Aphmau's house. She had to tell Aphmau.

So, Aphmau knows that she is Irene. To what extent she believes it, she's not sure. Goddesses are supposed to be all powerful, all knowing. Even when Hyria comforts her that she was supposed to forget- the answer seems too easy. Too convenient. Aphmau wants to strive for answers beyond the blanket layer of information she was given.

Beginning the start of Season 2 for our rewrite is when markings begin to decorate Aphmau's skin. Beautiful glowing marks that define her easily; this woman is not human. She is not even mortal. Despite this, her closest friends are not put off by her change of appearance and keep her close.

Garroth brings her with him when the threat of Zane becomes evermore present once more. Zane, who now has gotten Laurence on his side. Laurence; with Shad's relic.

Every time Aphmau thinks of Shad- or Laurence- her heart pulses. She swears she can feel an echoing voice in her head. Something which tries to guide her, something with a lot more bloodlust than she could ever dream to have. Something Divine.

Travis offers her to recreate the Divine Warriors- to right the wrongs the 6 legends had before them in communication and to make something bigger and better than the burden that had been set upon their shoulders. Since she agreed, her divinity stopped hiding itself so much.

Piercing white pupils glow within her Irises. Perhaps one day they will be a pure white like the Matrons.

Becoming Irene is something that scares Aphmau. She doesn't want to be someone she seemed so keen to run away from the past. Aphmau wants to try again- this time, correctly.

~~~

HEYY SO. I HOPE THIS WAS GOOD. I'll probably post some more stuff about Aphmau as I go- I know right now as it goes this is all very ominous and a lot of information though!

I'm really sorry if the timeline doesn't 100% add up! A lot of my information is from nostalgia, memory and wiki's. I wish I had the time to rewatch MCD ;;

Consider this rewrite as of current from past the Irene Dimension fight. There will be information and rewrites from before that period that I'm working for but you know me! I like to start in the ocean and work my way back to the creek.

Thank you for reading. Your reblogs have made my day and give me so much more confidence in sharing something I've been passionate and yet nervous about. <3 Let me know if you need any clarification.

P.S. Whilst I am happy to take criticism or discuss this in further detail, that may be best for DMs! My DMs are ALWAYS open, and I promise I'm friendly :)

#aphmau #minecraft #minecraft diaries #rewrite #aphmau mcd #mcd aphmau #divine warriors #irene #divine warrior #relic holder #relic holders #aphblr #aphmau fanart #artists on tumblr

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murkystarlight · 7 months ago

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I've been stacking up again :D (all the days where you leave an ask or comment or reading, I've done it. Mhm. I think. Did I-?...) And I totally did not do half of these yesterday and today on improv

Day 13

Cozy

I did... somewhat of a background! YAY This was definitely something new to try. I liked the water brush pen after using it for the icecream on day... something-

And where did he bandana go?? I have no idea. Probably inside a hat(those.. fuzzy winter hats. It takes everything on your head with it when you take it off)

I have all the other days I didn't manage to do under the cut. I also have day 11 under day 13 bc it's too long.

Day 11

Christmas snippet (except I have no idea what is supposed to be done- so I just tried to write)

"WHAT?? YOU DIDN'T CELEBRATE HOLIDAYS ON SKY CITY???"

"Jesse- please, lower your voice" the girl desperately covered her ears, squinting her eyes. Having already experienced how loud the brunette can be.

"I just- I mean- why not? Did you not know about it??" Jesse started shuffling around, but still keeping her eyes on Isa.

"No. It's just... since we didn't have enough resources, we never got the chance to do a proper celebration." She sighed. Fleeting her eyes to avoid meeting Jesse's. "Some might not even know what holidays are. Even now, our main priority is rebuilding the city- I can barely remember the last time I celebrated a holiday.." she sighed.

Jesse listened carefully before an idea lit up in her head.

"Since it's not something your people can manage to do right now..., why don't you take a day off and bring everyone to Beacon Town!"

Isa looked back at Jesse, confused.

"It'll be fun! People can get to know each other and enjoy Christmas together" Jesse smiled brightly. Grabbing Isa by the hem of her jacket while staring up at her with wide eyes. "You know? Christmas spirit"

"Well- I.. guess it wouldn't be a problem- but are you sure it's okay if all of us just... marched into your world?" The girl played with the end of her long silky black hair, still feeling worried.

"Of course it is! It's not like you have hundreds. And we have enough space around the town." Jesse reassured her. Taking her hands this time. The cold skin felt surprisingly soothing for the other.

"....thank you. For your generous offer, Jesse."

"Anything for a friend"

Yeah. Whatever that is— okay, moving on

Day 15

Repeated day 14. Well.. kind of. It's not exactly a......... incorrect quote. It's- well. I put it in together with day 19. I hope it works out??

Day 16

Gift giving

I wasn't sure if it meant draw a piece of art to gift to someone... or draw art of gifts? Anyways I'll add it in a separate post

Day 18

Classic minecraft

This was really nice. Would've been nice if I played with a friend... I have one friend that can also play Minecraft and is around me. But she's busy these days so... idk. Maybe next time. But I still had fun playing with my brother.

Day 19

Ugh, fine. <3

I would've gone with like.. Hadrian but... nah. I don't really come across him often anyways. So I did Aiden. Might finish it- might not..

Day 21

OC appreciation

Gave the thought to make one of my own! Except I remember now that I already have one. The admin OC I thought of from basil's suggestion(?). Take her :)

Eh uh... something like this?

Day 22

AU appreciation

Day 23

I do NOT appreciate my AU's. This was a chance to actually appreciate them. bc I don't really work on them or think of working on them after planning just the characters and storyline. So have this

I've done this much. Ain't no way I'm not finishing this

Drawing a scene from a fic I enjoy

Actually... I'll do this one separately too

#25 days of blockmas #mcsm #minecraft story mode #mcsm fanart #mcsm petra #mcsm lukas #mcsm isa #mcsm jesse #mcsm aiden #mcsm au #oh and the tiniest bit of maya and gill in there-#sorry guys. I'll give you two a proper design eventually

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thefandommind · 7 months ago

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Thoughts on the Sphere: Spoilers for the later books and Spirit Oath ahead

Headcanon at the end.

So in the universe of Eli Monpress, the world described has some interesting key points-and I'm not talking about the magic system, or at least not rn. Here's a list of my points of interest and then I will expand.

There are three main continents mentioned: the main landmass the story is set in which isn't named but is of course known as the Council of Thrones. Then there is the "unknown continent" from which the Empress conquered and came from. And then lastly the "Northern" continent that is entirely ice tundra, where only packs of ghosthounds thrive. {side note, what the hell do natural ghosthounds hunt, they are huge canines that hunt in packs, and they only eat meat. Mammoths? Gin has a greatly described love of pigs, headcanon there are giant woolly boars in the ice cliffs of this world. In fact checking this post, I was reminded there's singular mentions of things called "black armored pigs", a" feathered lizard", and an "enormous red and gold stripped cat" that is some sort of crossbreed. I love it.}

was gonna try and make this list from most normal in fantasy worlds, to most interesting, but I've already run out of normal-THE SKY IS A LIE.

The sun and moon exist and have purpose. First, while I can't find any mention of the moon being noted as in crescent (i could just be blind), at some points it is described as "full", meaning it does have proper cycles. {I found it later, it does at one point get described as half moon, I was fucking right.}

The sun rises and sets, that's obvious, but the moon helps dictate the months. but then again, the sky is a lie, its just the inside of the Veil, the Weaver made it so. We see that not only is the blue sky part of the Veil, but the sun too as it gets torn by demons. (shout out to the poor lady who overheard me describing this phenomenon to my friend as "the sky is tearing itself apart in fear")

Now this is obviously the Weaver remembering the "before times" with the Creator. {don't worry I'll circle back to this.}

Moving on, the Sphere itself doesn't have stars in the sky, it's explained-"before times" and all that, but it obviously has a "sky". it also has a fucking "bottom".

Now you may have picked up on the fact the spirit world is effectively Flat Earth, now, I am no expert on flat earth, and spirit world is of course not earth (see; all of the spirits, the animals, and yk its fiction). But here are some notes I have regarding flat earth and the Sphere.

First, the Sphere is described as having a bottom, via the bedrock, and magma, this is when Benehime's watching over it. Then Slorn at one point is described as looking down-through the ground, through the mountains, through the bottom and he looks at the dome that is similar to that of the sky,(duh its a sphere its in the name. SO unlike flat earth, isn't a fucking coin with a sky dome, its more like a complicated Minecraft skyisland inside of an orb that is of course later revealed to be the last haven of Creation floating in a sea of demons which have devoured the universe.

Breaking up the text to make the horrible explanation, that instead of it being high fantasy skyblock, it's instead like if all of Creation is Earth and the Milky Way and every star in the sky being its own galaxy-was the world of Horton Hears A Who, and then demons ate everything in the world but Horton and the Speck, and that Speck and all those Whos is the Sphere and the spirit world. Then that Speck gets knocked off its flower and finds it's way to a snowflake and that's how you tie in Jim Carrey's Horton the Elephant being the Creator and Jim Carrey's Grinch is Benehime metaphor for the Spirit World being so tiny and depressing in the larger scope of the universe of demons.

now that's all just to over explain the world building that's presented to us in the books, plus a silly ramble that came to me in the first hour mark I spent typing up until this point. but here's the actual post.

The concept of there being a dome to the sky, is a very medieval concept, very fun system, but I bring you the concept of seasons.

Seasons don't exist in the Spirit World. Source, chapter 7 of Spirit War, when the Shaper Mountain tells Miranda he remembered back when there were seasons and stars in the sky. But you can probably sus it out by the then as months pass in the story, yet no descriptions of the change of weather or daylight associated with time passing.

I find this deeply depressing and so so beautiful. The implications.

Humans in this world are younger then the seasons!

That means the sun doesn't change even with the moon changing, the Weaver lets the moon wax and wane from memory or on vague description, but the sun doesn't change. There's no solstice, imagine solar eclipses happening because the moon is preprogrammed but the sun rises and sets with absolutely no inconsistency.

With no seasons, there is no Harvest. Yeah there's farmers and crops, but they don't have a deep freeze of any kind to prepare for. So no reason for fall festivities. No winter solstice, no darkest day of the year, no winter festivities.

With this world being kept in memory of a normal creation with planets, the Northern continent is tied to a pole that doesn't exist. There is no reason for it to be so cold, other then the frozen spirits that live there need to be cold. Same with every other climate. The weather is decided by the Wind Courts and only them, because they need to function.

SO. There are people, in this world, who haven't traveled. And they have never known the climates then the borders they live in. And then there are our main four characters, who are all very well traveled.

Imagine their first trip to the Sleeping Mountains, their first time seeing snow. Because it doesn't fall anywhere else in their entire world.

My personal headcanon involves Josef, because while he is obviously well traveled by the storyline, I like to believe the first time he saw snow was that first trip to the mountains. Eli had been there before, he already know what snow was like, and by then he has his lava spirit. Josef is from the tropics, and Eli is a teasing jerk (little shit). And what adds onto this idea is that him and Eli had made camp in the mountains (perhaps not the Shaper Mountain but its neighbor hooding slopes), and Josef had made his way to Nico when she crashed.

I'd like to emphasis that moments (hours maybe?) the mountains had been screaming, the entire League of Storms and the Lord of Storms was in battle with the Daughter of the Dead Mountain. The noise, the freezing rain, the panic. It goes quiet when Nico is defeated and laying on the mountain. And then Josef shows up, and then brings her back to camp, Eli nowhere to be seen.

You can infer from this that Eli heard the demon panic, or at least knew the mountains were shaking, there was a hell of a thunder storm (Eli has also met the Lord of Storms many times, he could probably recognize that spirit just a Nara could being the Favorite and all), and then in the echo of the worst of it, something crashes loud enough for them to discern where it was, and Eli was like FUCK NO, if you want to go out there and find out what that is, it's your funeral, you'll be lucky if i go searching for your frozen corpse in the morning. And he stayed at camp with his nice warm dry spirit.

And then an hour later Josef came back with a bleeding naked lady. That was somehow out there, and related to the huge fucking crash. And Nico's demon had abandoned her completely so it could hide, so say they found out she was a demonseed a little bit after she recovered from her wounds, which she also has no memory of. So Josef went out into the snow and came back with just a random girl with brutal injuries and no memory, probably freezing, and Eli canonically didn't press for information or question it. And then the rest is history.

Now again, we're imagining this happens in the same trip in which Josef experiences snow for the first time, and Eli has been giving him shit for it constantly.

Cut to Eli using Karon to warm up a strange girl he has no explanation for meeting, and he has to just be nice to her and give her all the attention he can, cus the only other option is look at Josef and he can't. How is he ever going to recover from this night. Josef is sitting there, concerned but also glaring I told you there was something out there, you said calm your tits Josef it's just the snow you don't understand you'll freeze-and I told you so every time Eli catches his eye.

thoughts?

#the legend of eli monpress #josef liechten #eli monpress #nico #headcanons #worldbuilding #the sphere is literally flat suck on that/j #I got distracted twice within this post sorry not sorry #Nico's joining of the companions is a special treat I give myself often #I think about their history often and I might write a fanfic eventually like a low stakes one shot but I love them so much #also Eli didn't use portals when he started as a thief so he walked to Guiseppe's cabin in the mountains #and I like to believe his lack of warm clothes was due to inexperience with the cold and snow #so really he shouldn't tease Josef #HAPPY 2024 WINTER SOLSTICE YOU GUYS!!#RIP the spirit world they can't celebrate

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itsgirlcraft · 5 months ago

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That last post I rbed reminded me of an old SSO fic I miss dearly (it was deleted)

I sincerely doubt that anyone will remember it but yknow what, let's just see.

It was on wattpad by KgRuBfOngFehd, they made a lot of fics, but in different fandoms. It was called Raised In A Lab Of Secrets. It had an oc or two, in addition to kid versions of Rainbow, Reverse, Dark, and Shadow Steve. Elemental was the hidden, final villain.

It tells the story of both 5 color Steves trying to raise Rainbow (heh, like a certain rp blog here-) and the story of Nightmare. And the story of Mojang, but that was short-lived.

Below the cut is the thread I made eons ago about this. Note that it was to people who didn't know SSO, so I explained it.

I read a fic nobody commented on. I soon became the one person who commented at least 30 times per chapter. I loved it so much, it was so well written and underrated. sure, it had spelling mistakes, but it was so pure. I adored it with all my heart...but it's been deleted. It was on Wattpad, called "Raised in a lab of secrets," it was a Steve Saga Origins fic (Minecraft roleplay). god, it hurts my heart knowing I'll never see it again, be able to show people it. hell, I'm tearing up writing this.

I was the only commenter, only one other comment was there, someone who corrected a spelling mistake. I remember I thought it was abandoned after several months. I started theorizing in the last chapter. except later I see a new chapter..I read it, and discover the author had used the ideas I was theorizing! I was so excited and made sure they knew. that...was the last time I think I saw it. I wish I could remember their name. I know I follow them, I just don't know who..

I remember the cover was a rainbow eye. it was near the top of my reading lists, being relatively old. I remember it was a family fic, where the main character/villain had families. there was an oc, their most prominent feature was their crooked smile. they were an antihero type and killed Elemental, who was forcing Nightmare to continue evil, allowing the two families to be at peace. Rainbow was a child, along with a few future villains in the main villains' family. (Reverse, Shadow, Dark)

sorry, I just- I do this when I'm desperate to remember something important to me. ignore all...this, it'll be long.

I remember Rainbow learned their abilities after a fire started in a greenhouse. one of the protag's guardians (Red) was being too rough and the others were worried for their safety, so they kicked him out. only for him to light the fire. there was a secret library in Rainbow's room, which had an old diary of Nightmare's father's (or was it Night's?). Rain kept it a secret. there was a locket within the diary and a photo of before Night became a villain.

I remember the main villain had 3 kids. one was a fashionista (Reverse), one liked to prank the others by stealing their stuff and phasing through walls (Shadow), the other was sassy (Dark). I remember there was a beach scene where the two families met after Rain was created in the lab. if I remember right, the yellow guardian of the protag had been related by blood to the main villain. Red, who got kicked out, had some shady plans that led to him getting kidnapped.

I think the antihero guy messed with Red a bit before the antihero helped him escape. Rain's family didn't trust either of them, but the antihero was chill anyway. there was a big fight right at the beginning where Red/Blue/Yellow were arguing. oh yes, how could I forget? the green Steve and Rainbow were both catboys. Reverse had powers that weakened Rain whenever they were near, entirely on accident.

I remember Night was fiercely protective of his kids and would put himself in harm's way to save them. he would've given up villainy if it weren't for Elemental who would threaten to hurt his kids if he stopped. the antihero took care of the boss guy in a very gory way involving his smile motif and I think a chair? I remember the purple guardian was quiet, the green guardian was the best guardian out of all of them. the blue and red guardians were always arguing.

I remember Rain saved one of their guardians by teleporting. he had discovered the fire when he heard the plants screaming on the lower level of the greenhouse. I think the purple guardian had left to find the blue guardian, who could control water. but the green guardian and the protag were stuck on the second level while the yellow guardian tried to find a hose downstairs. the protag told the green guardian first about the secret library after teleporting out when he heard them coming.

I remember the ending. after Elemental died, there was an..out of reality series. notes, from someone working at Mojang about these humanoid beings within Minecraft. one which caused nightmares in the real world. they didn't know what to do so they locked these beings inside a world. the new chapter they wrote based on my theories brought in Sabre, from the original Steve Saga series, as another Mojang employee discovering the strange beings inside the game, the main story.

I remember there was a mysterious woman who was afflicted by the nightmare powers. the first Mojang employee shown was looking for clues on her experiences, but I think they disappeared. Sabre didn't know about this mysterious woman. I think Nightmare's mother was tormenting this woman. if I remember correctly, she forced the Nightmare's dad to infect him. the mother was insane, known as a queen of nightmares.

I remember young!Nightmare forced the infection to be concentrated in his heart, allowing him a little more time to get his affairs in order. everyone falsely believes his father was the one at fault in the main story. his mother was eventually arrested or escaped arrest, I'm not sure. actually, I think the yellow guardian wasn't related by blood to Night, but was a friend of his father's.

...

So yeah. I think that was the story. This was...I think early 2020's or so, maybe 2021 idk.

#favremysabre #my post #steve saga origins #lost media #media preservation #steve saga origins fanfiction #wattpad #nightmare steve #rainbow steve

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geminipixels · 2 months ago

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10 years prior in Elmira City

“Why did you bring me to the park, D?”

“Why not? It's a nice Sunday morning, the weather's nice, and you love coming to the park to hang out.”

“Yeah, when we were like 7, maybe. But the park? That's so boring, Dallas.”

“It's not that bad, Kai-”

“You text me first thing in the morning wanting to take me out, I was expecting a karaoke bar or the country club your mom frequents. Not Central Park that barely anyone visits anymore!”

“Kairo, relax. I just thought we could have a simple hangout that isn't wasting my parents money or playing video games. Plus, we haven't hanged out around town in ages.”

“Since when do you care about wasting your parents' money, Dallas? And what's wrong with staying inside and playing minecraft like we usually do?” “Touché about my parents, Kai. But just enlighten my nostalgia for a few hours please and try to pretend you love the park again?”

“See Kairo, isn't this fun? Being outdoors and embracing our inner child again?”

“I guess. Though, I feel too big for these childish games. Can't we play chess or do something else?” “Kairo, do you ever go one day without complaining? But I agree, I'm starting to get too tall for the seesaw.”

“This is more enjoyable, Dallas. Sitting by the pond, sketching baby ducks and the cityscape.”

“Baby ducks? Boring. You and your realistic drawings, Kairo. I'm drawing Aliens abducting those protestors over at city hall.” “I still wonder why I even consider you my best friend at times, weirdo.”

“Okay, so I have big news. Remember that prestigious art school I was telling you about months ago?"

“Yeah, you wouldn't shut up about it for weeks. So what about it."

“Well, my mom and I went to tour it a while back. And she helped me submit my application for their visual arts program. Last night, when she checked her email, they previewed my portfolio and accepted me into the program!” “No way seriously? You were serious about wanting to go to LeFomage? Hell, congratulation Kairo.”

“Why don't you sound that happy for me? I feel like you're not really happy for me, Dallas.”

“I am happy. I mean, you do deserve it. It's just… means you're going to possibly leave me alone with all these weirdos and snobby pricks.”

“Oh my god, Dallas, be serious. Plus, not everyone at our school is that bad.”

“... And I'll have my own dormitory. Hopefully my roommate is nice. Oh! And apparently they have a fantastic theater program too. Like, you know, the famous Matthew Hemming? Apparently he went to LeFomage before he made it big in Bridgeport. God, I love his movies.” “Only you and every mom, maybe. That guy is a grade-A jackass. And gives off weird vibes. And has a very punchable face. But Matthew Hemming aside, I'm happy you're following your dream, Kairo.” “Then why are you giving me that look? Are you upset with me, D?”

“Nah, I'm not upset. Okay, perhaps I'm processing the face next year I won't have my best friend at school with me and that she's going to be at a private school that's 3 hours away. And I'll be forced to hang out with other people. But I'm a little worried you won't remember me or something.”

“That's not true! I'll be home every other weekend to visit. And I still can call and text you. Plus, we still can play video games together. I wouldn't forget you, Dallas.”

“Yeah, okay. That's what you say now. Until suddenly you become too busy and meet cooler and more popular friends, and I get put on the back burner. Plus your memory sucks, and you're a horrible texter.” “Okay, my communication could be better. But you've been my best friend for 9 years, Dallas. I wouldn't forget you that easily. And I promise I'll see you every month when I come back.” “Fine. You better keep your promise, Kairo, I swear.”

Tag list: @sushiikinsss, here's me finally posting the family slowly mamas :)💞

#Gen 1 #Generation:Spring #Seasons of Love:Spring #Oc:Kairo #Oc:Dallas #Spring generation #TS3 #Sims 3 #prolouge

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xerith-42 · 2 years ago

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Garrance Week Day One! Reunion/Separation

(This takes place in Minecraft Diaries Season 2 after Laurance has returned from his little shadow knight escapades)

"Laurance, talk to me," Garroth muttered. Laurance simply looked away, his eyes seeming glassy as he stared at the wall. "Please."

"What is there to say?" Laurance bit back, his voice having a bitter edge Garroth hadn't heard before. It hurt.

"A lot, I think. Care to tell me what's happened in my absence?"

"You already know everything. Why do I have to tell you?" Garroth reached over, taking Laurance's hand in his, but the affection wasn't reciprocated. He'd seen Laurance like this before, but this was different. Like he was intentionally letting go of his own humanity to avoid the conversation.

"I want to hear you."

"Why?" Garroth sighed, squeezing Laurance's hand. Why did he have to be so difficult?

"Because... I care about you. I've been worried about you the entire time I've been gone, yet when I came back, you left. I-I've wanted to see you for so long." Laurance remained silent. "Please, Laurance."

More silence. Laurance couldn't speak. He had so many things he wanted to say but when he looked up into those beautiful blue eyes, nothing else went through his head but three little words. Three little words that if he dared to speak them would condemn him and Garroth to a hell he wouldn't dare subject him too. It hurt to see that upset expression, but it was better than the alternative.

"I'm sorry." That's all Laurance was able to muster. He dropped Garroth's hand and stood up, grabbing his sword as he walked past. "I'm going on patrol."

"Laurance--"

"I'm glad to have you back Garroth." Another word and Laurance would do something he would regret. Garroth could only feel helpless as he watched the man he loved walk away from him again.

Sorry this is just a little drabble I swear I'll write more as the week goes on (I'm lying)

#text post #aphmau #minecraft diaries #laurance zvahl #minecraft diaries laurance #garroth ro'meave #i dont support aphmau #garrance #garrance week 2023 #garrance week #drabble #writing #character dialogue #its always angst #angst #gay block men #gay romance #minecraft diaries garroth #minecraft roleplay

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yakuzacanons · 2 years ago

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I have a vision just let me cook

The boys being forced by their S/O to play Minecraft. I need to know how chaotic it would be

Personally I just know Majima would get his grubby little hands on TNT and start going ham

Anon, I see your vision and I love it. Ask and ye shall receive.

Also I know I've got other asks in the inbox rn, I'll get to the rest later today as I'm posting this right before an Oppenheimer/Barbie double feature. So if you've sent stuff in, fret not. I'll get to it in exactly 5 hours. Meanwhile, enjoy this post!

Kazuma Kiryu

His main motivation to play will be from seeing how much the kids enjoy it. Plus, the only thing the kids like more than playing Minecraft themselves is crowding around Kiryu as plays.

Haruka and Taichi will be doing most of the guiding here. Minecraft might've been your idea but the kids always have this magic way of explaining things to Kiryu in a way that he'll get it.

He'll totally say something sappy like "Do you want to see what I made in Minecraft for you?" and will shyly ask you to play with him once he gets the hang of it. You'll also catch him on wiki pages trying to understand what the heck he's doing.

Majima Goro

Doesn't understand a darn thing and doesn't care. Turn your back for five seconds and he's on the other side of the map doing who knows what. It's not that he doesn't want to understand how to play, he just wants to learn things his way, which is often times the hard way.

Lots of exasperated noises when he dies but before you know it he'll be back at it again. Says dumb things like "Oi babe, what's this?" while holding TNT or "Don't worry 'bout me darlin', I'm immune to creepers" before instantly dying.

Actually gets super into decorating. Maybe some part of Majima Construction carries over into his gameplay. He's also very curious about literally everything. He might grumble at first about learning to play "A silly game fulla cubes 'n shit" but he'll end up loving more than you ever expected.

Saejima Taiga

He'll refuse at first because he knows he's completely illiterate when it comes to technology and he's embarrassed to make a fool of himself in front of you. The best way to get him out of this funk is to let him watch you play for a while. Eventually his interest and his desire to do an activity with you will outweigh his nervousness.

He will require the most handholding out of all the boys. However, he will beam with such pride when he accomplishes something himself. He will even hug you with glee when he gets something right. The game is challenging for him but he loves spending the time with you.

Is the most likely to dig a hole straight down into lava and die. Poor guy, he was just excited that he finally figured out how to hit stuff and wanted to see how far down he could go.

Akiyama Shun

Has zero idea what you're talking about when you ask him to play. He'll say something like "Mine-what?!" followed by a very confused look. He's a visual learner so once he sees the game he'll be like "Ohh, I think I get it now."

He in fact does not get it. It's not that he's never played games. It's just that he didn't expect the game to have so much stuff in it. Lots of "Huh?!" or "I can do that?!" while playing.

One of the more eager boys when it comes to playing Minecraft with you. He doesn't get super embarrassed when he messes up and you both get a kick out of building a world together.

Tanimura Masayoshi

Most likely to be an experienced gamer out of all the boys. When you ask, he'll be like "Really? You wanna play video games with me?" in a rather cutesy way.

Having said that, he will still try to impress you by acting super cool in the game. If he messes it up he'll just try to play it off like "Ah, I didn't mean to do THAT".

Will provide drinks and snacks while gaming. Probably some iced tea, chips, or pocky. He's a snacky boy.

Ryuji Goda

Honestly hasn't ever really had time to explore what video games are so he'll be curious to at least give it a shot. You'll both learn very quickly that he has a short temper with games.

He does not understand the purpose of dying in games. It frustrates him. He just wants to smack around blocks and stack blocks, what's dying got to do with these blocks anyways? That's his attitude.

Once you show him the ropes, he'll get a lot calmer and the more he learns the less dying bothers him. He's the most likely to watch let's play videos out of all the boys.

Nishikiyama Akira

His interest in games is about average, as well as his knowledge when it comes to video games. When you ask him to play, he'll say something like "Heh, only because you asked me so nicely, okay?". Secretly, he likes that it's an excuse to spend time with you.

Since his skill and your skill are relatively balanced, he doesn't need much help. He thinks it's cute when you show him something you worked hard on making in Minecraft.

Out of all the boys, he's the most likely to dedicate time to building a whole world with you, down to the last detail. He's a great creative partner in Minecraft.

Daigo Dojima

He's clueless. Someone help the poor man. Last time he had time for games, he was just a kid. Since then, games have changed so much that he feels totally lost.

He uses computers some at work so to him computers are for working, not fun. When you first propose the idea, he'll be like "Games? In my work computer?" but once you show him the basics, he'll be chomping at the bit to try it out.

Daigo works so hard that he doesn't get much time for leisure, so combining that with spending time with you is a golden opportunity for him. Even when he gets frustrated or dies in game, he'll calm himself and get back in the saddle. He really wants to learn how to play this well.

Mine Yoshitaka

He will refuse to play at first, saying something like "You play honey, I'll just watch". It's not that he doesn't find the idea of playing a video game with you appealing, he's just the type of guy who's so used to upholding appearances and his reputation that he doesn't want to look stupid in front of you.

Eventually his interest will get the better of him and he'll say "Okay, show me how this works" and he'll find it cute how excited you get that he actually wants to learn how.

Slowly he'll learn that making mistakes in games are okay and not nearly as terrifying as mistakes in real life. Playing this game with you will become a great outlet for him. Also the type of guy to give you shoulder massages if you play for a long amount of time.

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crowisinthetrash · 9 months ago

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Hello everyone! Haven't been on here in a while again

Sooo a little update on life is that someone I've had a crush on since year 7-8 (I think? It's been a while, but I dont remember the exact year level). I have been chatting with me for a few days, and my feelings are definitely reawakened when I text him. Like I perk up at every notification, I'm aware of how much I smile when I see his messages and everything

So he has me in tiktok, insta and discord and I hope he doesn't have a tumblr and find this post 😅 but ANYWAYS I don't get worried that he's ignoring me because he explained to me that he feels bad since he's moving (to my state suqiaieusu) and has a habit of not touching his phone for a few days. I also know he enjoys his alone time, so I'm trying to tone down how much I send because I don't want to spam him 😭😭

Though they did say he's okay with random messages throughout the day as long as I understand I'm not ignoring him so I don't know whether I'm just overthinking that I'm coming off as annoying or something because I do genuinely not want him to be overwhelmed by messages 😭

Also, we both have chatted, and I know they are into steven universe (obvi), minecraft, elden ring, dead by daylight, my hero academia, jjk, cats and that he cosplays and crossdresses. He also likes a few things we like, so yeah! Also for music he told me about his favourite album and I had given it a listen (he really wasn't kidding when he said it was sad) He also goes by he/they, neurodivergent and mentally ill like meee. Also, potentially, he might get into genshin impact once he's moved and settled in. I've also started today by sending a small question of the day sort of thing to get to know more about him when he's able to reply ^^

He's honestly the cutest and prettiest ever, and honestly, I want to squeeze him, but like in the most positive way possible, yk? Also, he reacts to my messages with little heart emojis, and it honestly makes me really giddy each time and it's just.. wiqiqooicwiiqjdiw

ALSO, my tiktok recently keeps giving me initial type tiktoks, and our initials keep coming uo together, and it's all on romantic relationship things. Usually, I scroll and go about my day, BUT is this a coincidence anymore?? Because this had happened more than once?? what do you guys think??

Anyway, a few other things that I have going on is that I'll be seeing Mother Mother live in November, which is coming up, so that's exciting! I heard Metallica will also be coming down next year with one of my favourite bands (Evanescence), so that makes me also really excited and gives me a lot of time to save money 😅😅 Also I don't know if I told you all yet but I do have a job and that's at Subway so yeah lol

Anyway, that's it from me for what I know, if I do become dead on here again, expect some other random update like this again haha! Also let's hope he doesn't find my tumblr and see this post..

#crow rambles

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fountainpenguin · 1 year ago

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"She's into superstitions: black cats and voodoo dolls... I feel a premonition- that girl's gonna make me fall..." (x)

---

New Dog's Life chapter today! ~ 3rd Life series fan-season

Chapter 23 - “Cooldown (Pearl, Lizzie, Mumbo, Scott)”

❤️ Read on AO3

💛 Start from Chapter 1

💚 More Pixels Imperfect fics

---

Pearl puts research into camera accounts and brings home books for her nonexistent roommate, EthoCam… Er, Rhetoric. Lizzie and Joel enjoy date night. Mumbo collapses in bed after an exhausting break-up. Scott puts on his ambassador hat, entertains the Fox Dragon, and reviews a fey contract with a peculiar white-eyed man.

(First 1,000 words under the cut)

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PearlescentMoon - Bat

Status: Reflective

Venue manager, event coordinator, and seasonal business owner

💙 🧡 💚

When Pearl lets herself through the door, the whole flat is quiet. From the pale smell, nothing's cooking in the furnace. But then, he can't, can he? Then he'd be burning my charcoal. She dropped by the library tonight and borrowed a book on soul twins who never became official camera accounts. That should subtly break down the Yes and Nos of what Rhetoric can do. All the librarian villagers were happy to help. She even ran into Gem, which was a surprise. Gem's eyes lit straight up.

"You're back! Hope you had a good time. And how's Impulse? Is he better than he was after last week?"

"He's all right, I think. Had a rough go of it mid-session, but he said he'd share the story on movie night."

"Oh, that's good. I've been worried more than I need to be; I want to smack him. Hey, I'm on snacks tomorrow, right? I'm thinking popcorn balls."

"Popcorn balls sound amazing, actually. I'll make sure I'm stocked up on butter."

"How d'you feel about two movies back to back? I found one I'm DYING to show you guys."

Now the soul-twin book rests in the bag at her waist, hidden by the black cloak that marks her uninterested in the courtship events of the night. Pearl moves through the flat's entryway, glancing left and right. All the lights are off. Can Rhetoric turn on lights?

I didn't even think about that when I went out. Oh, this is a toughie… She didn't bring back any treats on purpose, not wanting to offend him. She did pick up a random book on folk tales and another on hybrid biology. These, she leaves on the kitchen counter. As a museum curator, maybe Rhetoric considers himself a historian and potential expert on both these subjects.

Maybe he'll scoff. But according to the patient librarians, account-less soul-twins can hold books and turn their pages just fine. They just can't write in them because it would update the book, and they can't rip out the pages because it would create paper. If you're account-less, you can't update blocks.

That's the word, by the way. Soul-twins… She never actually knew that. She's always just called them "cameras." Did you know you can be account-less as the player, and it can be the camera twin who gets most of the creator bleed and activity levels?

It's not common, but apparently true. It happens on occasion if the same creator is juggling three or more accounts at a time and largely uses that third one for spectating right at the start in those early days. Traditionally, the first account to sync goes to the player soul. The second sync goes to their soul-twin, whether they're often on spectator mode or not. The third can be a coin-flip as a completely new pair of souls is spawned in, syncing up to an already established Minecraft player who may actually prefer spectating this time around.

Food for thought. I wonder if Moo's ever been bugged when I've called her a camera. Maybe I should ask if I can meet up with some of her friends. Maybe we can all do a Q&A night. You could write a paper on this stuff.

… or a book, evidently. Pearl checks the signed name again. Pixlriffs. Of course it is.

If this is insightful, I'll have to drop something off to thank him. But she'll wait until the full moon's faded out so he won't get the wrong idea.

Pearl leaves the books she got for Rhetoric at the end of the counter, next to the bar stool she drapes her Not Courting cloak over. She'll hang it properly some other time. For now, she wants to set the scene: I'm not trying to come on too strong. I just happened to leave a few books here, that are mine, and when I'm away, nothing's stopping you from taking a little looksie at them.

When she turns around, she catches her new roommate standing out on the balcony, one elbow on the rail. Did he open that door? Did she leave it open? He gazes into the courtyard below, swishing his tail back and forth against his heels. It stiffens when she creaks the door open. "Don't talk to me," he mutters, not turning around.

"Right, I won't- Not for no reason, now. Still, I have some housekeeping things we should go over."

Rhetoric's tail twitches again. "No. That can wait. Literally, don't talk to me. I was getting fresh air. As fresh as you can get under bedrock, anyway. Now that you've returned, I'll stay in my room and keep my head down, but it's a full moon tonight. I don't technically exist, but I'm still a hybrid. Give me space."

"Okay," Pearl concedes. There are seven fox ambiance defaults: burrowing, hunting, napping, courtship, marking territory, playing, and stealing. On top of that, the urge to flee from players is a legit part of their coding. Rhetoric's maybe or maybe not feeling courtship tugs, and neither of them wants to deal with that. If it's not courtship, that urge to find his own private space is probably gnawing at his spine. She's not giving up on him, but she'll wait until he's less prickly.

Pearl returns to the kitchen and starts prepping a mixing bowl. Rhetoric's ears snap up. He turns his head. He has gray eyes. They're dull from lack of color, but almost puzzled or wary when he studies her from across the room. He says, "You're an anivore, right?"

"Just a little bit- I'm a partial anivore. I need code to keep my energy up, but I actually can eat other foods without feeling sick. My diet's still restricted." He doesn't look away, so she doesn't stop talking. She barely looks at him, though. "I know fox hybrids can change color between white and ginger when they respawn. My friend Grian's a parrot and they're the same way- the soul spawner might spit them out with different feather colors than what they had before, based on RNG. We bats are like that. Right now, I'm a vampire bat. I used to be a fruit bat when I was first spawned. The type of food that actually refills my hunger meter shifts between respawns, but my stomach can digest all of them."

"So you're an omnivore."

"Well. Yeah, I guess so."

Rhetoric folds his ears flat against his night-black hair. "I don't have proper code. I'm not real."

"Nah, I don't nip much off other people. I barely need any, see; I nip my own code." Pearl lifts her arm, gesturing to the space between her sleeve hem and her hand for emphasis. "Tastes like macaroni and marshmallow right here at the edge." For the sake of it, she doesn't ask if he's ever tasted code before. Probably not. She pauses for breath anyway so he can have his chance to speak.

"That's… disgusting." Rhetoric waves his tail for a second, keeping it low, then almost rotates full around to talk to her. "I had a visitor today."

"What?"

"Some phantom wearing green. Yellow hair. Black bandana. He didn't give his name, but I found him rather rude. I'm half tempted to report him for harassment."

Martyn. Pearl's instinct is to volunteer the name, though she catches herself and hesitates just before she can. "Oh. I'm sorry he bothered you. Was he hunting? Maybe he clocked you as not having slept… ever."

Rhetoric shrugs, dismissing her thin attempt at comfort. "He broke in. I'd talk to Scott about upgrading your security, if I were you."

[Full chapter on AO3 - Link at top]

#trafficblr #PearlescentMoon #Scott Smajor #MumboJumbo #Joel Smallishbeans #Lizzie LDShadowLady #ridwriting #Dog's Life #apparently art #Dog's Life art #fic announcement #Shadowbeans #Herobrine #Pixels Imperfect #mcyt

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nerdhappenings · 2 years ago

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youre a dsmp fan too! any dating headcanons? you can choose who you want. 🤭

I'd love to! I'll just do a few- I know there's so many. 😅 And I am doing this because it is so very very long.

Dream:

-Definitely prefers a casual date at home to going out -Gets the full snack spread -Lounging on the couch -Probably watching football, Youtube videos, streams or binging shows -Playing video games -He's way better at Minecraft than you -He teases you about it -"Did you just try to mine diamond with a stone pickaxe?" "I forGoT, okAY??" "*wheeze*" -He'll give you tips -Very patient -"That's okay, it took me a while to get the portal trick, too. Try again" -Don't even get me started on the manhunts -Will pick you up at any given moment -Bridal style, arms around your waist, whatever -He loves your size difference -Often gets you what you want when you're out shopping -He doesn't always, though -He has some self control and common sense -Will bring you back things that make him think of you while he's out by himself -It could be something he buys, or if he sees a rock or something he thinks you'd like -Very attentive -If you ask him to do something for you he usually will without question -"Sure; where is it?" "What do you need?" "You sure you only want one?" -He notices things, too -If you're having a bad day, he can tell -Takes you everywhere if he can -He feels more at home with you around -His love language is probably touch or quality time -Gives your head lots of kisses -Head kisses all day -I feel like he gives off a decent bit of body heat, too -Casual cuddler -He'll just have his arm on the back of the couch and you slide in -Bounces his music or video ideas off of you -He will sing a song he just wrote to you so you can give feedback -Private concerts -You stop and listen if you're walking by his room and happen to hear him singing quietly -He's written multiple songs about you -He's in the process of secretly writing a song that he wants you to duet with him -It's taking longer than normal because he wants it to be perfect -Definitely texts you "good morning" and "goodnight" every day -He doesn't really strike me as a pet name person -Maybe "baby" or "hun/hon" or something -He's fine with public displays of affection -Usually holding your hand or has his arm around you -You sometimes wear his clothes, but you're swimming in them -They're miles too long -Drista loves you -She shares very embarrassing stories about Dream -Dream is very happy the two of you get along -But he's slightly worried because you're partners in crime -I feel like he also has a good sense of work/life balance -He shares everything with you -You're either his best friend or right behind Sapnap

Sapnap:

-Speaking of the devil... -I feel like Sapnap also prefers "stay at home" dates -Watching basketball -You definitely argue about your favorite teams -"The Rockets are so bad this year, babe" "Oh yeah? The (favorite team) aren't doing so great, either" "Better than the Rockets" -Playing video games -Takeout -He'll sometimes cook for you, though -Sapnap takes you to shoot hoops -Gives you tips whether you need them or not -You play H.O.R.S.E. and he definitely gloats if he wins -If you win though, he always has some sort of excuse -"You were distracting me" "The sun was in my eyes" "You're lucky" -You know he's just teasing though -You tease each other a lot- that's just your dynamic -He also plays chess with you every Thursday night -He greatly looks forward to it -Sometimes you'll play earlier in the week too if Sapnap simply cannot wait -If you mention you like something while you're out shopping he'll make a mental note and get it for you for Christmas or your birthday or something -Very thoughtful, but also practical with his gifts -"You already have one of those" -Generally thinks you look good in everything but is always honest -"I think I liked the other color better" -He also likes flustering you -"I like the shorter one," he'd say with a wink and crooked grin -You'd turn a little red in the ears and smack him with whatever happened to be near you -This man is also always buying food -He'll take you for gym dates, too -He'll spot you if you need/want -Will give guys dirty looks if he thinks they're staring too long -He knows you can take care of yourself, but you know he enjoys his masculinity so you let him unless it's personal -He loves when you get along with his friends -He knows you're faithful, but the poor sweetheart has some insecurities -Will send you silly selfies of what he's doing throughout the day -"I died to a creeper in hardcore mode 😭😒" is the caption of a Minecraft death screen picture -Will also send you pictures of things that remind him of you, no matter how small or silly they are -Sometimes they're totally random -"This rug reminded me of you" (with picture attached) -Probably because he's always thinking of you -Like Dream, he's pretty attentive, but he's more likely to laugh a little, look back at his phone and ask "why can't you get it?" -He's not being mean though- he just can't see a reason you can't -"You have legs", he'd tell you -Love language is physical touch -Change my mind -Always has a hand on you -I feel like he also gives off a ton of body heat -Also is constantly draping himself on you or hugging you -Front or back- it doesn't matter -He will also nestle his face into your hair and/or neck at any given moment -Cuddles. Cuddles forever -Spooning -He just loves holding you -Not really one for public kisses, but he's also always holding your hand -If you're sitting next to each other at the house he'll have his hand on your thigh, holding your hand or his arm across your shoulders -Will sometimes put his legs/feet across/on your lap -If you have your feet or legs on his lap, you better believe he's just resting his hand on them -You also love to stroke his hair -You definitely wear his clothes, too -They are also miles too big, but more in width than length -(We stan short kings) -He knows you love his beard -He makes sure to stroke it a lot in front of you -He will rub his beard against your face a little during hugs or something -Even randomly just for fun and to tease you -Will also speak to you in Greek sometimes cause he knows you love that, too -If he gets riled up his Texan accent will come out -Sometimes you secretly rile him up on purpose just to hear it -I feel like he's one for pet names -Babe, baby, doll, darl', etc. -I gotta stop here before I talk about Sapnap forever

George:

-George is the most likely of the Dream Team to prefer dining out -Your taste in food is so different than his, (he's British), so you guys avoid specialty places -You go on walks after dinner -"Gotta burn all the calories we just ate" -Really it's just to spend more time together -You also get to show George around so he can try to get more familiar with the town -You excitedly point out your favorite places -George only glances at it briefly before looking back at you -He loves when your eyes light up as you talk about something you care about -Doesn't stop him from teasing you about it, though -George will often point at things going "what on earth is thAt?" -You have to explain the American (or your preference) culture -Loves shopping for knick knacks but hates shopping for clothes -"EUuugh. How long are we going to be here?" -Will sometimes get you things when you comment on them -Will also sometimes remark "why would you want that?" -Dude simply doesn't understand -He's also sometimes teasing, though -Will buy you lots of random stuff, even if you only mentioned liking something once -You mentioned one time that elephants are cute? Well good, cause George is buying you every single thing he sees with elephants on them, now -If George knows gossip, you'd better believe he's going to you first -Most likely to tell you "go get it yourself" if you want something -I'm honestly not sure what his love language would be -Maybe receiving gifts or words of affirmation -You get him something once a week because of this -Also because he's always giving you things and you feel bad -George's clothes are also a little big on you, but it's not too bad -He probably only has a couple pet names for you -Darling, love, babe, baby...classic British stuff, ya know-

Karl:

-Karl will flip flop between going out or eating at home -He always wants it to be a surprise what's for dinner -Probably buys you candy or flowers or something -It's cheesy and he knows it -He plays video games with you -He loves trolling you both in the games, making your task harder, and in real life -Definitely pulls a prank on you at least once every few months -He'd do that giggle of his and go "you still love me, right?" with a smile on his face -He knows you do, though -Karl points at random stuff in the store more than you do -He'll pick stuff up and play with it, doing silly voices for whatever it is -If you ask him to do something he'll do it -Will also use it against you in the future -"I got your phone from off the counter for you, you can bring me my shoes" -I'm not sure about love language for him, either -Whatever it is, you make sure to give it to him -You listen to him as he rambles about whatever he's excited about -He tells you things about Banter before he tells Sapnap and George -"We just hit ___ million subscribers on Banter" "We're getting ____ as the guest for Banter next week" -Karl will also hold your hand in public -He'll swing your arms wildly when you walk from place to place -I feel like Karl doesn't use many pet names, either -Maybe stuff like "honey", "love" or "babe" -Karl's clothes are also too long for you

Foolish:

-Will also dine in or do takeout -Loves movie nights -Curling up together with a blanket on the couch -Matching pajamas -Dancing in the living room -Both sweet/slow and silly -Loudly singing off key as the radio plays -He will sometimes quietly sing to you, though -It's very sweet -Loves board/card games -You're way better at them than him, though -You sometimes let him win -Will also take you on gym dates -Has full confidence in your abilities and will sometimes give you more than you can manage -Nobody bothers you because Foolish is kinda tall and a large lad and while he's the sweetest guy ever, people don't know that -Also buys you candy and flowers -He doesn't think it's cheesy, he's just very genuine -He's genuine about everything, let's be honest -You have to rein in Foolish when you go shopping -He wants everything -"Foolish, that's not at all practical." "But it's so cute!" -Also very attentive -He doesn't notice much though, so you have to ask/tell him -Usually will comply without complaint -His love language I would guess is quality time -He always wants to spend time with you -It doesn't even have to be dates -Dude will take you with him to do banking -He uses all the pet names -Babe, baby, angel, love, sweetheart, honey, darling, dear.... -I can hear all of those coming out of his mouth -You love wearing his clothes -They are also large on you but you love it -I feel like if something's bothering him you have to drag it out of him -He doesn't want to ruin your mood just because he's having a bad day -Cuddles -He doesn't mind PDA -He'll hold your hand while you're out -Forehead kisses -He'll kiss you on the mouth if you're out sometimes, too -Very considerate and sweet man

Wilbur:

-Wilbur also will do dine in or takeout, but I feel like he prefers dine in -Loves taking you places -Parks, theaters, some pretty lake that he saw, anything -He probably writes songs about you -"You're my muse, darling" -If you can play an instrument, he'll play with you all the time -If you can't play, he'll perform for you -He definitely takes you on tour with him -"You're my good luck charm" -You wear his glasses sometimes -He talks about you all the time -"She's just amazing, chat" -He sometimes will just randomly quiz you on some fancy words that he knows -Or speak to you in a different language and ask you what you think he said -Sometimes what he said was really sweet -Sometimes it was the most asinine thing you'd ever heard -I can see him just lounging on the couch with you in silence -In one hand he has a book -The other is stroking your hand or something -You're either reading, too, or just enjoying his company -You probably fall asleep cause you're laying on him -He's always wearing sweaters and it's very cozy -You wear his sweaters and the sleeves always go passed your hands -Wilbur makes fun of you for it -"Love, if it's impeding your tasks, why are you wearing it?" -He secretly thinks it's adorable, though -You point out things you like in a store -Wilbur points out things that amuse him (or that he thinks will amuse you) -He'll buy you something you like 80% of the time -He's fairly attentive, too -It depends on his mood, though -And if he's busy -He'll usually get you what you want, asking why you need it as he's already on his way -Love language is probably either words of affirmation or quality time -He lives for you telling him how much you love him -He also loves hearing what you love about him -His public affection is pretty minor, probably -He might hold your hand, depending -Or walk with an arm around your shoulders -But I think he's the most likely to not be huge on it -I feel like he uses a handful of pet names -Darling, (my) love, sweetheart.....probably a few more -I feel like "love" or "my love" and "darling" are his favorites, though -He loves taking you places with his friends

TommyInIt:

-Also probably prefers comfy home-dates -Often orders takeout -You'll sometimes make something, though -Definitely jokes about you doing "your assigned work as a woman" for several minutes before helping you -He's not very good at it -Plays video games with you all the time -Shopping is a chore if Tommy's with you -He is constantly running off to look at things -Will bring you stuff he found to make jokes with -"Put it back, Tommy" -Shopping takes twice as long as it used to -Or needs to -"I'm going to get you a child-leash if you keep this up" -It started out as a joke, but now you're seriously considering it -He's pretty attentive -He'll get you what you want -Will definitely complain about it the whole time, though -He's just messing with you and you know it -He usually notices something is bothering you, even if he doesn't know what -He'll come up to you and yell "self care day!" before dragging you out of your chair to do all of your favorite things -He's really very sweet -Will randomly yell "this is my girlfriend!!" -Love language is probably quality time -He wants to do everything with you -Has made multiple jokes that he's going to handcuff you to him so you can't leave him -I feel like he uses a few pet names -Baby, love, stuff like that -He also tries to come up with his own -"My sweet pickle" "Absolutely not" "My lovely linguine?" "No" "Beautiful bonzai?" "Um...no" -They aren't great -"My precious peach?" ".....That one's not bad" -Some work, though -His clothes fit you pretty well -So you often steal them -He has no idea where they go -Even if he sees you in them, he doesn't put two and two together -"You have a shirt like that, too!?? I can't find mine"

Sorry this took so long! I definitely got carried away....😅😅

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jinmukangwrites · 2 years ago

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weep little lion man (10/14)

First - Previous - Next

Fandom: Jedi: Fallen Order / Survivor Rating: T Warnings: panic attacks, one or two gorey metaphor. Ao3 Notes: I apologize for missing last Thursday. I've had some irl things I had to focus on, and then then when I planned to upload on the weekend Iskall85 broke into my house and held me at gunpoint until I downloaded Minecraft Vault Hunters and played it. It was all against my will I swear. Anyways, welcome to the climax to the story, I hope it lives up to expectations >:3

Summary: After defeating Dagan Gera for a third and final time, the Compass ends up in Bode's hands without a scratch. He could go back to Jedha with Cal... but he's holding what he wants. He doesn't see the point in pretending any longer. He makes a split-second decision. Or: Bode's betrayal goes a bit differently.

-o0o-

Cal didn't need to ask why Bode didn't let Cal throw the muzzle himself; not that Cal wanted to of course—if he could go the rest of his life knowing that he'd never touch one of those humiliating things again, he'd die fulfilled. Regardless, he's sure even if he did ask to do the deed himself, Bode's fingers would have tightened and his posture gone stiff, a no quickly breathed out. There's been too many instances in Cal's life where people have purposely made sure he would not touch something that he's long since stopped being surprised, or offended, by it.

People know when an item is important to their emotions. It was the same when Cal was a youngling and the older Jedi would keep him away from various rooms, or when he was a Padawan aboard the Albedo Brave and troopers would hold things in the hand furthest from Cal, or after Cere first explained to Greez what psychometry was and Geez did a deep clean of the ship and stuffed several items into his quarters. He saw it when Merrin refused to let him touch her necklace for months. He saw it with the Partisans, with his old group, how personal belongings quickly got locked up somewhere Cal couldn't get into.

Bode knew he had memories attached to that muzzle, and he didn't want Cal seeing them. That was fine, Cal didn't want to see them either. Honestly, this close to escaping this planet, the last thing he needed was getting into the mind of his captor and experiencing what Bode was thinking and feeling while putting that blasted thing around Cal's jaw.

Cal doesn't need psychometry to sense Bode's overwhelming and barely disguised guilt. He doesn't want to know what can motivate a man to dehumanize someone he once called brother despite that guilt.

-o-o-o-o-

Bode's avoiding Cal like Cal's suddenly caught a new stand of the Blue Shadow Virus rather than have just gotten over a bad cold. Cal wakes up the next morning with every intention dialed in towards playing along until an opportunity to escape without being immediately missed presented itself; and he almost thought he'd have to do just that until Bode grumbled off a small list of chores and announced he was off to see if the poultry laid any eggs.

It's worrying that Bode's mood has soured so quickly while Cal was sick. If he's honest, Cal's not sure if he wants to know the cause of it or not.

Not that it matters, after about a half hour of waiting to see if Bode would suddenly come back (he doesn't), Cal decides it's about time he gets out of here. He shares a meaningful look with Kata, fighting the sudden bout of anxiety pooling acid in his stomach; shaking his hands.

"Go," she says, giving a small smile. "I'll be okay."

Cal desperately wishes he could take her with him, but that would be reckless and risky. It would already be disastrous if Bode catches him on the way to steal the Compass and the jet while alone; if he's caught taking Kata with him, he's pretty sure whatever goodwill Bode has squashed deep down would suddenly become irrelevant. If he leaves alone, Kata can lie—she can lie and say she didn't know Cal was trying to escape, and Bode would believe her. But if he takes her, he's pretty sure Bode would see that as Cal actively threatening or endangering his daughter, and capture would be replaced with murder if those day-one threats are to be believed.

Leaving Kata will also give him time. If Bode comes back and asks where he is, she can give a fake excuse until Bode gets suspicious around nightfall. Cal hasn't forgotten about Bode holding his family over his head; he's pretty sure communications off Tanalorr are still impossible and that Bode hasn't magically found a way to bypass that, but it's not a risk Cal can make. He needs to leave and find his family before Bode goes through with his threats of calling the Empire on them.

He doesn't know what he'd do if he escaped just to find Bode followed through; that the Empire had found his family and had possibly... no. That won't happen.

So he nods at her, mentally promising to do everything in his power and return for her when he has more backup and a better fighting chance against Bode. He won't leave her here, to become a prisoner of isolation and loneliness.

Before he leaves, he goes to the corridor containing the bedrooms. He doesn't enter his own room, nothing in there really belongs to him and all he needs are the clothes on his back and the lightsaber at his hip. He could probably go through Bode's room to try and find his blaster, but then he remembers that Bode gave it to him in the first place, and his gut twists a bit uncomfortably at that. Besides, going through Bode's room would mean possibly entering memories he didn't want to enter.

So, instead of either of those things, he goes to the end of the collapsed corridor and presses his bare fingers against rubble. He sees a single Jedi, her blue lightsaber blazing as she stands her ground, protecting her Padawan who had fled further into the temple; he was too young to fight in a battle like this—only thirteen and so shy and sensitive. She shouldn't have brought him here; but it was supposed to be safe from the Nihil. It was supposed to be impossible to visit unless you had a Compass. She fully supported Master Khri and Master Gerra into making this strange place a haven, a temple, a planet for Jedi, but no one could have seen those blasted Nihil coming with their blasted ships that traveled through hyperlanes in ways no one could understand.

The ground shuttered under her feet and the walls screamed through a crumbling roar. A Nihil anarchist ran towards her, screaming their meaningless selfish words beneath their monstrous mask, and she swirled her lightsaber, eager to clash. "We are all the Republic," she hissed through clenched teeth right when another explosion rippled through the temple, burying them both below merciless rubble.

Cal blinks, pulling his fingers away. He hopes that Padawan got away safely and didn't die horribly, trapped on the other side.

Cal doesn't like the similarities.

Gravel shuffles underfoot as he carefully follows the directions Kata had given him to the cave. He needs the Compass first, the jet was useless without it; and there's all the possibility Bode might spot Cal leaving with it. It's better to have the Compass first and foremost.

Eventually, he comes across the very cave Kata had described; carved into an unassuming cliff face and hidden behind tall purple bushes. Its mouth barely came up to Cal's chest, but the width was about as long as two Cal's laying foot-to-head. He pushes himself through the shrubbery, then crouches low to hobble inside. Natural light dimly illuminates the small cave, the structure itself scales significantly the second he's passed the initial lip. He's able to stand fully—though the width remains about the same—and there's a slight decline in the elevation. The depth of the cave doesn't go far at all, in fact it only takes several small steps to get to the far wall where a duffle lays innocently, abandoned and untouched.

He watches carefully for any sensors or alarms before he fully approaches the bag, heart slow but loud. He doesn't find anything, and the Force stays silent, nothing feels off or dangerous—not like the Force has warned him about Bode before. After a few moments of finding nothing, Cal bends down next to the duffle and digs his fingers into the zipper. It takes a breath to open the bag, but it's a breath soon stolen as the contents reveal themselves. He can't say he's surprised to find all those thrice-damned restraints looking back at him, but it still stuns him into falling still, doing nothing but forcing breath through his lungs and staring at the cuffs and coiled rope.

It takes him entirely too long to swallow what felt like a lump of poison. The cave walls seem to shift at the corners of his vision, and every joint becomes tense with an overwhelming urge to get out. He can feel the air pressing around him, becoming stale and thick, every instinct suddenly very instant for him to get to open air as quickly as possible before the walls collapse around him like that Jedi at the temple, or the horizon in his nightmares...

... or the tight compartment of Bode's ship.

Breathe.

He needs to get moving. He tries to shift away the various restraints to dig further into the bag, but his hands shake so much that nothing stays where he tries to put it. Frustrated with his own irrationally rising panic and fear, he rips his gloves off for more dexterity and grip; building up familiar mental walls to avoid falling into unwanted echoes. He can sense his own emotions raging through the restraints. Confusion, betrayal, claustrophobia, terror. He's never sensed an echo of himself before, he didn't really think those kinds of echoes were possible. He blocks the emotions from whiting out his vision and rewiring every nerve in his body; he doesn't want to test and see if he can fall into an echo of his past self, especially when he already knows exactly what he'd think and feel.

He'd like to stay in denial about his new relationship with tight spaces, thank you.

He tries not to think about it, just like how he quickly finds himself also trying not to think about how there's extra restraints in here that he doesn't recognize; particularly a collar and a handful of tranquilizers.

He finally reaches the bottom of the bag, his heart fluttering and his vision swirling. His eyes soon land on the familiar cylindrical shape of the Compass and his knees nearly collapse in relief. He reaches his hand down to grab the small device and get the kriff out of there, but his hand accidentally brushes against something small and metal.

And everything goes blindingly white.

Strings of his own consciousness have just enough time to feel terror at entering an echo of himself, just enough time to curse himself for letting the relief crack his mental walls, before vision returns and...

... and his hands aren't his own. His thoughts aren't his own. His emotions aren't his own.

This memory isn't his own.

He- Bode is standing above Cal's body. He's fueled by instinct. Impulse. Fear. Guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt-

Resolve.

Bode lifts a small communication device to his lips, almost robotically, his eyes never leaving Cal's prone body as he clicks the button that will link him through to his intended audience.

"This is a secure channel! How did you-"

-o-o-o-o-

Cal's thrown out of the vision violently at the end of it. He crumples to the ground like gravity has suddenly increased, chest heaving and the structure of his bones feeling all wrong. It's been ages since he's had such an exhausting vision, such a horrible vision that he immediately wishes he could unsee.

But he can't unsee it. He can't unhear it. The words pound through his skull over and over and over again.

"There are multiple Jedi at this location, inform the Inquisitorius at once. If Lord Vader wants Cere Junda, he'd better hurry."

Voices flood through his system; every easy lie Bode's told him, the sound of mechanical breathing and the deep eruption of a red saber, screams of his family, of his friends, of everyone and everything and the Force itself.

His own voice joins the screaming, the communication device easily snaps in his fingertips as he clenches his fists against the stone ground, sobbing and dry heaving until he throws the vile thing across the cave, bringing his hands to his hair and weeping.

He thought he knew betrayal before, but this? This feels like being pulled apart by the seams; flesh being torn from bone and nerves left bare to be flayed.

The screaming mercilessly continues, so loud and piercing he's surprised his ears aren't bleeding.

Emotions rage, realizations stabbing into him like vibroblades between each and every rib.

He called the Empire- no, he called the Inquisitorius. Darth Vader. He sent death incarnate itself to Jedha where Cere and Cordova are... where Greez, BD, and Merrin could have gone after Cal was taken. And he lied when Cal asked about their safety.

He screams again, throat painfully cracking as his brain works against him to show him images of corpses and blood on his hands. He can feel the thud of Master Tapals body sliding down to the floor; he can smell the heat of Trilla's lightsaber as he tries to slam his own down on top of her; Prauf slumping down to the rain soaked stone. He can see Gabs's face go slack and eyes unfocused. He can hear heavy, mechanical breathing cut down Trilla after she begs to be avenged. He can imagine all of this and more so easily, so unwillingly, so vividly, happening to Cere, Cordova, Greez, Merrin, BD-1, even everyone back at the saloon. It's like he's been forced back into a vision, and he's watching it all happen, red lightsabers leaving glowing yellow embers in the flesh they cut through, unable to do anything.

Clutching his skull, groaning, he stumbles to his feet as tears leak through the corners of his eyes and down the tip of his nose. The screaming isn't stopping—why isn't it stopping?!

The ground rolls under his feet, his brain stuttering like an old hyperdrive to try and figure out what his next move should be. Is it even worth grabbing the Compass anymore? Is it even worth leaving this planet?

"You keep losing people."

His mind shudders, cringing within itself as overwhelming grief, pain, hate, floods into his very soul.

"Hold the line."

He doesn't know what to do. Anguish clouds his every thought. He had refused to entertain the idea of Bode lying, and the new information has shocked him to his core, ripping away everything that makes him him and replacing it with a body that acts on instinct and heartsickness. His family is dead. He's stayed in one place for too long. He's trusted someone he shouldn't. He didn't hold the line. He's a disappointment as a Padawan and an even more worthless friend.

This is his fault.

His eyes harden as his body, as the screams, as his hatred know what to do next. The urges come naturally, and easily, and there's hardly anything left of him to try and fight them off.

He stumbles out of the cave, the light of the sun burning against the back of his neck can't compare to the rage in his heart as his hand goes to his hip and grabs the hilt of his saber.

An orange blade erupts, and the tears clear with an angry, vengeful blink.

"BODE!" He howls, his hand tightening against the blade with resolve to avenge his family and surrender to the screams urging him onwards.

He's going to kill Bode. He doesn't care what comes after.

#cal kestis #bode akuna #jedi fallen order #jedi survivor #star wars jedi fallen order #star wars jedi survivor #jin writes #fanfiction

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