#i'll probably go to bed in a few
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Me @ you
Shhh, I'm distracted by Wrio's beautiful ti- personality on my screen
That said, when will you go to bed? 🤨
#wrio is so charming i really can't help it#i'll probably go to bed in a few#get some rest too auphie 🔫 it's a threat
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#the way this came to me in a literal fever dream#get it cause pidge….pigeon……do you g—#man pneumonia when ur asthmatic SUCKS#it was like mr.mucinex decided to host his daughters bat mitzvah in my lungs#they prescribed an antibiotic a few days ago and its done wonders phew#they kept trying to get me to go to the hospital and i was like gurl do you have hospital money?#cost of admission??? in this economy??#not out of the woods yet and probably wont be for a while rip#i still get really winded just from shifting in bed and asthma attacks are 24/7 here at this motel hotel holiday inn#BUT i no longer feel like my next breath might be my last so i'll take it!!#✨progress✨#the doctors are hopeful there won't be any permanent damage either knock on wood#gonna try and start gettin back to messages and posting some things i owe wooo#did you miss me?#.....on second thought don't answer that#🪞𝐩𝐢𝐝𝐠𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐰𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 👛 ✎ *☆ ᵒᵒᶜ.
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wild to me how the english translation of natsume is just. largely out of print i guess?? like half of the volumes you can't get ANYWHERE for love nor money, not even on amazon (unhallowed be its name)! i've found like five sites that sell print volumes and they've all got the same selection (vols 1, 2, 17, 19, 27-29, sometimes 24-26) and if you want any others you are SOL. though what's interesting is i'm pretty sure last time i looked it up a few months ago, you couldn't get volume 17 anywhere either. did they do a print run just of that volume?? total mystery.
#and then amazon does have a handful of volumes you can't get anywhere else (used) but they're selling for $40 to HUNDREDS#OF DOLLARS??? the volume with yorishima's intro is going for $251 😭#i went so far as to look up the french translation and of course THEY are all in print and selling for 8 euros. i'll be real. i am tempted#it's nice that i can read volumes online but i really want to read them in bed before i fall asleep and i just cannot do that w e-versions#i guess i'll just check back in every few months to see if they've decided to go back and reprint any old volumes idk#and probably go back to checking them all out at the library. but the thing is the urge strikes me suddenly and i want to read them#immediately#this is such a non-problem i'm just. surprised i guess? i understand this isn't a hugely in demand series but it is#still running...and they're making a new season of the anime...idk idk i just expected it to be more accessible#take my money viz media!!!#natsume's book of friends#natsume yuujinchou
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no y’all don’t get it, the reason Jenna doesn’t connect the dots and figures out that Leverage is secretly being her guardian angels is that the dots connect to make an absolutely ridiculous picture!
Like! She’s very smart and very willing to throw herself into risky situations to do what she thinks is right and I love her, but no matter how clever you are “a bunch of super thieves/vigilantes are also trying to take this guy down and are now secretly helping me by making a bunch of random but not that incredibly unlikely shit happen” is just. like. c’mon. if you say you’d figure that out while in a ridiculously stressful situation in which you constantly put yourself at risk of worst case getting raped and best case losing your job and possibly getting sued, you’re lying.
Yeah the team’s cons are obvious to us! bc we know them! but normal ppl don’t connect “venue shut down bc food poisoning” and “randomly found a singer at a completely different venue” and “there was a fire alarm” bc all those things can in fact happen, for them all to happen in quick succession is random and lucky but it’s not “omg someone is spying on me and??? giving me?????? things i need?”
#leverage redemption#the belly of the beast job#someone was like why doesn't she recognize the sound of tapped phones?#uh? bc she doesn't know what that sounds like? she's a civilian as Eliot said?#would you recognize the sound of a tapped phone?#you sure you wouldn't also dismiss it with an ''eh probably the connection being bad for a second''?#i love her#she's young and bright and clever and naive to a degree too yeah#she thinks no i'll be careful this won't happen to me#and she's right bc she's being watched over#i don't think she's letting herself think about what could happen#she just runs and runs and keeps going and it's working! it's working! so she's really excited and can't really believe it#so she doesn't question it and she doesn't hesitate or waste time figuring out who tf that food truck woman is#she'll probably decompress and a few days after the events of the episode shoot up in bed and go#omg the woman in the how to crack a safe video was the waiter at that bar#and then she'll put all that energy into figuring that out#but in the moment? too much adrenaline
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I think tumblr showing me posts from the puppets tag specifically when I just thought I should probably work on my puppets but then went "no.. I'll do it later.." and went to look at posts instead is a sign of some sort
#duck speaks#maybe I should..#I figured out the main issue I was struggling with. and I probably won't go to bed for a few more hours anyway#ok. I'll work on them
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Brackish water
#horizon forbidden west#hfw#hfw photomode#sometimes i prefer english over german#but in this case the title would've been 'brackwasser'#which is nice and succinct#anyway!#i think that's enough thornmarsh for this week#i need to be off to bed very soon because it's going to be a long day tomorrow#and my back is a mess so my sleep quality is not ideal anyway#so i'll probably just queue some quick clawstriders and maybe a few loys#hello yes i'm once again rambling about irrelevant things in the tags#and i don't even need to to pass the time because i've got proper internet now
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Me: This 🤏 close to a room destroying meltdown due to a lack of sleep
Also me: remembering weed can fix this without the meltdown and tearing through my bedroom to raid my mom's stash because I haven't been to the dispensary in literally months now
#seriously guys#it's almost 5am#I've been up since 8am#I wanted to go to bed at like 6pm#I actually went to bed at 2am#and then tossed and turned in the dark and quiet for three hours#I was already to the point of crying and throwing shit off my bed before I remembered weed existed#how can I be so exhausted I'm having a meltdown#yet so unable to sleep#and I always wait too long to get weed#always insisting that I'll fall asleep on my own#or that I *really need* that rem sleep tonight#ffs rem sleep doesn't fucking matter if I don't sleep at all#I probably don't even get much rem sleep when completely sober lets be real#I don't dream#I have bi-annual nightmares about my father#and that's it#It'll be like 5:30 before this gummy hits#I have cottage cheese and meme videos until then#maybe an excedrin for my exhaustion headache and my cat if she'll cuddle me#god I'm so fucking tired#I should call my grandma and see if her offer to hit me upside the head with a hammer is still available#She used to joke offer that to me when I was a kid and couldn't sleep#If only she knew the sleep disorders I'd be diagnosed with a few years down the line#I'm rambling now so I'll do the actual informative tags now and post#sorry to anyone who has to read this /hj#autism#adhd#medical marijuana#cannabis
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i've gotten myself into a routine of consuming some sort of elvis content or media right before bed......i don't feel #right if i don't. peak mental illness right here
#seriously i've been reading an elvis book right before i close my eyes even if it's just a few pages#i'll put on an elvis movie or something before bed if i have to#just rewatched the cb special and now im gonna read larry's book like#am i ok? probably not#i will go insane if i don't consume any sort of elvis content for one day im so serious
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I wanted to make a cleaner summary of last week's classes and also review the classes I have this week since the material is already uploaded beforehand but I was feeling so horrible throughout the day that when I sat down I was just gonna look at the ones for tomorrow but I think I'm just gonna go to bed because I just gave my little numbers game a few tries and not even the joy of tribial elementary school-level math games is bringing my brain cells and/or full sentience back
#diary#accessing it through the CMD thing and not just running it from the IDE made me realize a few things about it though so I'll hav#I'll have to maybe jot them down somewhere when I'd normally just be rly excited and try to fix them straight away like I am truly fucked r#I do wanna make an eng version of it sometime soon so I can share it even tho it's literally the simplest little thing. it's fun if you're#an easily amused nerd that loves playing with numbers in a truly useless manner. if that makes sense#also very obviously text-only I am NOT torturing myself with any graphics of ANY kind rn#it closes immediatly as they do and also when it comes to having double/triple digit starting numbers it becomes a lot less fun I think tho#though I haven't used it much with those yet#I still wanna figure out a way of making it better when it comes to 2/3 digit starters. and my original idea included maybe keeping track#keeping track of how many steps you took even between different rounds but I made the simplest version for now. I also think making like a#''this was the least amount of steps possible!'' type thing would be very very cool but that is FAR too big brained for me rn#cause I can figure out how to do the record keeping thing but that last one is like. let's stop talking for a little while.................#oh but adding an actual interface sounds so fun even though I have very little clue on how to do that rn I could probably STOP typing becau#because I can feel my stupid ass self start getting excited about this which will make it so I start working on it instead of going to bed#NO. DOWN !!!!!!!!!!!!!! auhgh............ oh man I had a lame joke to make but I completely forgot what it was#I have coding class tomorrow in which I normally just do the exercises as fast as possible before playing around but the only Python editor#I could find installed on the school computers was Visual Studio Code and I have no clue how to use that shit like I don't need so many#so many buttons. probz. OKAY GOODNIGHT
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Ruby Starter Call
//I feel the urge to write some Ruby so like this post for a Ruby starter! Multimuses let me know who for, sideblogs leave a comment :3
#this will be the day we've waited for || starter call#//I'm gonna go to bed in a few#and getting tattooed tomorrow#so probably won't do this til tomorrow night#but wanted to throw this out#I'm sure I'll rebagel a few more times
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I run off the world's most fuckass sleep schedule and a dream
#yikes.txt#beautiful 5 hours from 10 pm to 3 am everybody.#I'll probably go back to bed within a few hours but whewww
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I think I’m officially a Mercy main now. 😇
#i may be a bronze bitch but i'm at level 4 endorsement#i try my best :')#126 hours on mercy 203 hours on mei 26 hours on junker queen#which is baby compared to most people i'm sure but tbf i took a loooong hiatus after my kids were born avshhd#anyway yes hello if i can tear myself out of the overwatch loop i'll try to be here for a bit#work floored me and i haven't had much sleep the last few nights so we'll see#i should probably go to bed#smooches you all ♡#◈ — ooc; puffin speaks
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I forgot how much fun writing is
#I'm writing a play for a class. I had nothing earlier today and in the past few hours i got so much#and it's probably not perfect but i feel proud of it#idk how we're gonna do workshopping tomorrow tho. i'm also worried i'm going over what my professor would accept as a finals submission.#but we'll see. and i'll just have fun with it#it's also getting late but i started late. i should go to bed soon but i'm fired up with this. tho i'm procrastinating a little. like rn#writing
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in "fuck you we're not sleeping tonight" hell again :((((
#really should get back to a normal sleeping schedule#like the 'oh i'll go to bed around 1am so i'll be tired enough to fall asleep quickly'#strategy only works when 1am is not quite the default yet.#or it's something else but i don't wanna think about that#like sure i am overall way more nervous and sensitive and have just generally been feeling on the brink of collapse lately but#that's probably nothing <3 the fact that my sleeping and eating schedules are also fucked is completely unrelated btw#neither a cause nor an effect. it's just january. ignore it and sleep that's what i do best#except for the last few days bc i can't sleep but AGAIN. this means nothing
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my (virtual) meeting with my thesis advisor is in... 7 hours. I'm sort of almost finished writing the exposé that I was supposed to write. sort of. I'll probably need another hour or two until I feel okay enough about it to actually get any sleep.
unfortunately my left arm is realllly starting to hurt and I can't lift it much anymore (thanks to the covid booster I got today). hopefully I'll get it done anyway. and hopefully the pain won't be so bad that I can't sleep.
#I mean. if I get... idk like 3-4 hours of sleep that should be enough#I only have to be awake until the meeting is over. then I'll probably go back to bed.#and that way if it goes really really badly I can escape from that by being asleep lol#I hope it'll be okay 😭 I'm so scared#but it's this... much more quiet subtle kind of scared. I never experienced that before the anxiety meds#so it feels weird.#I haven't even cried yet! no panic attacks or anything! there have been a few meltdowns but not specifically about this#so I have to keep reminding myself that this is fine! I can handle this! it used to be sooooo much worse and I somehow got through that too#so I will definitely get through this and it will be okay#after all - no matter what happens. I'll be done with uni in February. I won't have to speak to my advisor ever again (so if he thinks I'm a#fucking idiot it doesn't matter at all!)#this is far from the hardest thing I've done! I was my dad's carer. I got my driver's license (yes that was very hard for me). I was in#therapy. I lived in abusive households until I was 25! this is easy in comparison#it just feels hard because I can't stand the feeling of being judged. and this is. just. me being judged (for what I write)#but it will be okay and I'll never write anything like this ever again and I'll get a break and I'll find a job I don't hate and it'll all#be worth it#personal#posts about my thesis
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Another morning another day
I've been thinking a lot about going to the animal shelter
#speculation nation#there r many cats there and i have an aching spot available for one#passively thinking about getting a kitten. just bc id enjoy getting to raise a cat for once#and i think tally would be a good big sister given how much she groomed cassy#at the same time tho i wanna adopt a cat that might not otherwise be adopted so quickly. aka an adult cat#& also like with tally. i very purposefully picked out the loud black cat bc everyone was passing her up#but she was YELLINGGG at me from the cage. and i was like 'oh alright' and took her home#and now shes my sweet darling girl. she just needed like a year to chill out so she is no longer a chaos demon lmao#it's also hard to know what youre getting with a kitten. and it's a lot of resposibility. so like. idk.#but also. Kitten Cute... 🥺#i'll have to see what they have when i go there. still not happening for at least a few more days.#it feels too soon rn. but im thinking about this all to cope lol. i hate having only one cat.#i keep wanting to go out to greet Cat Number 2 in the living room. but. nope. so i go back to greet tally on my bed#she's a loving cat but she does Not like to be smothered. and im kind of smothering her lmao#that's another reason to get a 2nd cat. yes i want tally to have company when im gone at work#but also i need a second cat that is very affectionate bc I Want My Hugs And Kisses Dammit#idk when im getting his ashes back. probably somewhat soon. id estimate tomorrow? they were rly quick with sammy's#idk what im gonna do if they call while im at work lol. cry probably.#tho i havent cried in almost a full day!! been like 22 hours. i have been Trying to cope. mixed results.#ah well. c'est la vie and all that shit.#animal death ment/
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