#i'll only do it for free if im friends w the person or like them well enough to be like yeah ill draw u this u seem pretty cool

[spinostarz]

not having a way to receive payment for commissions is so embarrassing when ppl want to commission u.. like bro i would love to draw u this thing but the options are pay me in discord nitro or let me do it for free

[cheolslz]

maybe getting mad at your boyfriends over something petty wasn't the best idea.

pairing; 95line x fem!reader

genre; smut (minors dni)

w/c; 2.1k

a/n - based on this request. this is not proofread at all so ignore if any grammatical errors 😔 it's my first full fic so I'll appreciate any and every feedback!

smut warnings under the cut!

warnings; mentions of a creep at a club, poly, established relationship, dom!95line x sub! reader, degradation, petnames (babe, love, princess, cockslut), unprotected sex (don't do this), oral (m. receiving), double penetration, anal, creampie, slight chocking, fluff at the end. lmk if I missed anything!

It's 8pm. You haven't checked your phone all day. you were supposed to be off work 2 hours ago but your boss decided today would be the perfect day to ask you to do their monthly statistics compilation. 

As you make your way upstairs the tiredness of the long workday finally kicks in. you sigh when you reach the door, wanting nothing more than to be in the comfort of your own home and your three boyfriends.

Hard days like this were guaranteed with a high profile job but you knew no matter what happens you’d always come home to the loves of your life.

As you open the door, the smell of your apartment fills your heart with a fuzzy warmth. You walk in and close the door behind you and it slowly hits you.

It's quiet.

Now living with 3 other people, there was always some form of noise in the house. Whether it be Jeonghan's tv show marathons, Joshua's guitar or Seungcheol listening to music, there was always some sound to fill the empty feeling in your ear.

A look around you can see that no one was at home. At first you assume Seungcheol was finally able to convince Jeonghan and Joshua to join the gym with him. You open your phone to see if any of them texted you their whereabouts.

[5:27]

Seungcheol : babe when are you off work?

Seungcheol : we were thinking of going to a movie 

Seungcheol : i know you said you weren't interested in this genre but we really want to watch it

Seungcheol : text us when ur done?

[6:07]

Jeonghan : babeee the movie is at 6:30 you’re supposed to be off work by now where are youuuu

[6:24]

Joshua : hey we’re at the movie okay?

Joshua : we came without you because you said you last week that you weren’t that interested in this

Joshua : we’ll see you in 3 hours <3

Oh. They went to see a movie. Without you.

They’re not wrong, you did say war centric and movies more than 2 hours weren’t your thing but, they could’ve waited right? It's not like it's only going to play at the theatre once. They could’ve easily waited for you and asked?

You're not the type of person to get mad about things like this. Usually you'd brush it off and move on but maybe it's the mixed frustration of work and your boss that you decide to make a phone call

“Hey are you free clubbing tonight?”

So, this was a really bad idea. It's 9pm, you're at a shady club and your friend ditched you to go hook up with someone. When you initially called chan he was constantly reassuring you that he’ll be with you all night because you need it.

His bad jokes and humour for a second did make you feel better but the minute you guys entered the club and he laid his eyes on this girl, it was game over.

You can't blame him, she was pretty as hell. If he wasn't rushing to get alone with her you would’ve asked her where her eyeshadow was from. Now you're alone at the bar, staring at the drink in your hand. Your phone keeps lighting up with notifications but you don't respond.

[8:50]

Seungcheol : babe where are you?

Seungcheol : we left early because the movie was boring you were right

Seungcheol : please respond to us

Seungcheol : i know you're mad at us im sorry

[2 missed calls from Seungcheol]

[1 missed call from Jeonghan]

[3 missed calls from Joshua]

[1 missed call from Seungcheol]

You feel bad. You should respond, you should let them know you’re safe but for this once you feel like proving something to them. What exactly are you proving? Well, you haven't really figured that out yet.

You're staring at your phone when a voice interrupts your thoughts

“Hey, what's someone like you doing here alone?”

You look at your side to see a tall man in all black. He has short bleached hair and a pretty face. You laugh off his comment, not wanting to interact with anyone right now.

“Im mark, i couldn't help but notice how pretty you are” he smiles and extends his hand which you accept with a smile. 

A few minutes of talking later, you start getting uncomfortable. Mark keeps trying to get you to leave with him even though you stated you had a boyfriend. He shrugs it off, his hand sliding to your waist and talking to you about how that doesn't matter.

You laugh nervously and excuse yourself to the bathroom, clutching your phone in your hands. You call the first person who shows up and he picks up in half a ring

“y/n? love where are you we’re worried sick”

“Seungcheol…im at levels bar please come pick me up there's someone making me uncomfortable”

You hear some shuffling in the background and Seungcheol reassures you that they're on their way. 

About 20 minutes later you get a text from Joshua saying they're outside. You have to convince them not to come into the club, not wanting the situation to escalate or get worse. You successfully sneak out of the club, thanking your luck that Mark was now occupied with some other girl.

As you spot your boyfriends, you see relief wash over them. They bombard you with questions and when you confirm you’re okay, they help you in the car and drive back. 

The air in the car is a little tense, no one clearly wants to bring up the topic of why you were at a club alone. Seungcheol had a rule you all followed - if there was something to talk about, you’d do it at home.

Once the car is parked, the four of you silently walk to your door. Jeonghan opens the door and lets all of you in. you take off your shoes and go sit on the couch, preparing yourself for whatever they’d ask you.

“Well? You want us to start?”

“I'm sorry” you say immediately, looking at the floor beneath you. You hear someone walking towards you.

A soft hand trails your face and lifts your chin to look up. Seungcheol has a small smile playing on his lips when he asks “what are you sorry for?”

“For getting mad at you guys and going to the club. I should've just told you i was mad at you” Seungcheol gives you a satisfied grin, his hand still forcing you to look at them standing over you

“We were worried sick, you know? You really almost gave us a heart attack” Joshua sighs looking at you. You give him a sad smile

“I'll make it up to you” you say and Jeonghan laughs loud, his voice echoing through the room

“Trust me you will” he says and walks over to you, his hands cupping your cheeks as he smashes his lips onto yours. He makes you lean back on the couch as he hovers over you, his lips moving in sync with yours as his tongue explores your mouth.

you feel the couch sink beside you and before you can see who it is, Joshua pulls you onto his lap, His firm body pressed on your back. You whimper as you feel his cock straining against his pants on your lower back. 

It doesn't take long before they’ve helped you out of your clothes and all four of you are naked. Jeonghan goes to the bedroom to grab a bottle of lube.

You turn your face to kiss Joshua, slowly grinding your ass on his cock as Seungcheol sucks on your neck. His hands fondle your breasts, squeezing the pinching your nipple to hear those oh so sweet sounds you make. your moans muffled by Joshua's mouth.

You moan into Joshua's mouth as you feel Seungcheol trail his kisses down to your breasts and suck on them. 

Jeonghan walks back in and tosses the bottle to Joshua. Joshua pours some on his fingers and circles your rim

“Gonna take me properly love?” Joshua whispers in your ear and you nod, unable to form coherent sentences. Joshua slowly aligns his cock with your rim and pushes in. The stretch hurts at first but the pain fuzes into a cloud of pleasure for you.

As Joshua slowly lowers you on him, Seungcheol aligns himself with your cunt. Unlike Joshua, Seungcheol isn't soft in the bedroom.

He knows exactly how to push you far enough for it to feel best, so he waits until you're fully lowered on Joshua's lap and he slams his entire length inside you. 

His tip his your cervix perfectly, knocking the wind out of your lungs. 

“F-fuck.. So..fu-full” you moan out.

You take a moment to regain your breath, back arched on Joshua as groans in your ear. 

Jeonghan, clearly feeling a bit left out, tangles his hands in your hair and pulls your face off of Joshua's neck. He slaps his cock against your cheek and lips as he smiles down at you

“Open up” he commands.

As you open your mouth and suck Jeonghan's tip, Seungcheol takes the initiative to move. He slowly drags his cock out and thrusts his full length into you again making you moan on Jeonghan. The movement makes Joshua hit deeper in you. 

Both of them start moving inside you. Seungcheol and him have a mismatched pace making you see stars as you suck Jeonghan harder. 

Jeonghan holds the back of your neck and thrusts into your mouth, making you take him deeper as tears well in your eyes. He throws his head back and fucks your mouth.

The room is filled with groaning and skin slapping as Jeonghan hits the back of your throat with each move.

“Such a pretty fucking cockslut. You like us filling you up like this huh?” Seungcheol grunts and moves his hips faster. You try to respond but the cloud of lust fills your mind as you feel yourself reaching your edge.

Joshua, the ever observant slides his hand down to your clit and slowly rubs his thumb against it. The sensation makes you moan against Jeonghans cock, the vibrations making him moan your name. 

After a few more thrusts you feel his movements stutter as he fucks your face. 

“Want me to cum in your mouth princess?” he groans as you slip him out of your mouth to answer

“P-please Jeonghan..ne-need it”

 Your pretty face begging for him is all he needs before he cums in your throat with a final thrust, painting it white. He pulls out and watches you swallow with a satisfied grin before collapsing on the couch next to Joshua.

The other 2 are not too far behind to follow, their movements becoming more erratic as they reach their highs. Joshua cums with a loud groan and throws his head back on the couch.

His hands keep moving on your clit as he comes down his high, his breathing heavy and inconsistent. 

“Gonna fill you up so well you wont even fucking think about pullling this shit again” Seungcheol curses and his hand wraps around your neck. The slight cut in air with the stimulation on your clit makes you fall off the edge as you cum on Seungcheol’s cock, his orgasm following yours.

Your releases mix together inside you as he rides out his high. You lay back on Joshua as he and Seungcheol slowly pull out. The emptiness and the feeling of their cum spilling out of you makes you whimper. Your thighs sticky with your mixed releases.

You slowly feel yourself coming down from that cloud as Joshua pats your shoulder

“You okay? Did we go too hard on you love?” he asks with slight concern in his voice but you shake your head no. They could never hurt you. 

The three of them help you get up and take a shower, laying out clean warm clothes for you and helping you lay on the bed. Jeonghan lays down next to you and pulls you into a warm hug. 

“Don't do that again okay? You really had us worried” he whispers in your hair.

“Im sorry, i shouldn't have disappeared over something so small”

you say quietly but the 3 of them hear it, they always do. 

Seungcheol presses a kiss to your forehead as Joshua rubs your back.

“We love you, don't forget that okay?”

[uhhlifeig]

ABOUT ME!

Hey, y'all! I'm Emi, my pronouns are she/they, and I'm bi. This is a safe space for everyone!!

I am in the Marauders, PJO, HP, RWRB, and HOO fandoms (former DSMP fan, would always love to discuss).

My fave musicians rn are Måneskin, Derivakat, and Conan Gray.

Fave painting is Gathering Storm bc not only does it have LORE, it's also just really pretty.

I AM A MINOR. DO NOT SEND WEIRD MESSAGES AND DON'T SPAM MY INBOX WITH DONATION REQUESTS. I CANNOT DONATE.

PROUD SUPPORTER OF THE BLEEDING AFAB PARADE!!

Sirius and Regulus and Barty kinnie!

I play the piano and paint, and I write things sometimes.

MY PROMPTS LIST: HERE

MY AO3: SeaingStars (well, well, well. what do we have here? a shameless self advertisement.)

Go ahead! Take a read!

^Writer Evan is stalked by murderer Barty. Chase ensues.

^Slytherin Sirius and Gryffindor Remus have an illicit relationship. Sirius's parents find out, and stuff hits the fan.

^(ON AN INDEFINITE HIATUS) A longfic Jules and I are working on! updates every other Saturday. Gryffindor Regulus, no Peter exclusion, may actually increase update times bc I think it's too slow.

^A Ravenrock (Peter x Benjy) rivals to lovers fic, no Voldemort and also background Jily.

I'm looking for more beta readers! DM me if you want to apply.

Normal DNI, but I'll reiterate it. DNI if you're a homophobe, transphobe, TERF, against furries/therians, racist, sexist, support pedophilia/zoophilia, if you try to force your religion onto others, if you support Israel, if you're a JKR apologist, and if you support problematic people.

Feel free to send me requests/prompts to put on my list. I promise everything will be worked on, just slowly.

And don't expect me to reply immediately! As stated above, I am a minor, meaning I have to go to school. Please be patient!

MY TAGS:

#emi writes sometimes - my writing tag, mostly for microfics

#emi reblogs stuff - my reblogs, conversationally and otherwise

#emi yaps - my original posts that aren't stories/asks

#emi answers! - me responding to asks

#hi finn - say hi to finn, hes a lil guy

#hey mars - ITS MARS MY WIFEY /p

#sup estelle - FOLLOW THEM. NOW. DO IT.

FAVE MOOTS:

@moutainrusing!! they were my first moot, and we chit-chat a lot!

@marsmarauders - GAY PANIC (platonic guys, im still single 🙃) and also BESTIE BOO

@mezsygfs - we're married. (they play sirius, i play remus. and also they played regulus in one of the rps i play james in lol WERE DESTINED TO BE TOGETHER)

@yourlocalbadgerscales - slay. same person, different font lol

@discoveredreality - literally awesome

@finntheworm81 - this is finn. go say hi to him. (hes my platonic husband)

@sxmnc - we talk about hot italians lmao

@estellethewriter - estelle!!!!! literally regulus and also GO SAY HI TO THEM. FOLLOW HER. THIS IS A THREAT

@smuttylyra - awesome. bestie. great and also slightly unhinged.

@allonsy-moony - i literally love you sm /p YOURE AWESOME AND GREAT AND HAVE I MENTIONED AWESOME (a fellow wo/men kisser)

@a-t1r3d-b1s3xual - bestie boo!!! you're so slay pookie <333 and IVE LEARNED TO DRAW FIGURES IM SO CLOSE TO DRAWING PEOPLE I PROMISE (also a fellow wo/men kisser)

@iliveonblandfanfics - my friend who walks dogs with me (also my first wife lmfao)

tell me if you want to be added to this list!

SIDEBLOGS:

@not-a-fork - my James Potter RP acc! contact @.corey-writes-stuff to join

@siriusly-attractive - my Sirius Black RP acc! contact me to join

@not-pineconed - my Thalia Grace RP acc! contact @.permetutotheworld to join

@moony-days - my Remus Lupin RP acc (i'm collecting them all, just like pokemon)! contact @.boundbymoonlight to join

@astronomic-nerd - my Regulus Black RP acc! it's a band AU with prongsfoot, jegulus, and moonwater (poly, no incest). contact @.ieatglowsticks to join

@my-father-owns-a-farm - my Mary MacDonald RP acc! contact @aesthetic-writer18 to join

@marls-boro - my Marlene McKinnon RP acc! contact @.julia-lokidottier to join

@bambiwantstobemefr - my second James Potter RP acc! contact @.anything-for-my-moony-1971 to join

@thestarryhunter - my Orion Black RP acc! (its the generation before the marauders era) contact @.cheekyboybeth to join

@depressed-poets-unite - my second Regulus Black RP acc! temporarily inactive, but i'd love to join another rp!

@forever-sirius - my second Sirius Black RP acc! dm/send a non-anon ask to @.cissa-n0ble-blck to join

[newlabournewromantics]

tbgb x panic! at the disco: comprehensive guide

from someone who's been a panic scholar since i was eleven and a tbgb scholar since i was fifteen (i know what im on about)

this is intended to be a positive and helpful informative etc post bc ive been seeing some terrible misinformation online about this specific crossover and I feel the need to correct it

ill list each album bar vlv and then list every song from that album which I believe is tbgb-applicable and newlab-applicable and give a/some particularly relevant lyrics ok lets go

most important ones r in red btw

afycso

only difference: "oh, we're still so young, desperate for attention, I aim to be your eyes, trophy boys, trophy wives"

london beckoned: the whole song?? literally like "slightly clever to just a certain extent" "make us it make us hip make us scene"

time to dance: was hesitant to include bc it is about a book but "give me envy give malice give me your attention" is so them (nothing else though)

i constantly thank god for esteban: "'cause I am a new wave gospel, sharp, and you'll be thy witness"

pretty. odd.

she's a handsome woman: ok to get this one you have to understand my own personal theory that this song is about a gay man coming to terms w his sexuality. trust me it works "wink, just don't put your teeth on me" etc

folkin around "you've never been so divine in accepting your defeat, and i've never been more scared to be alone." top ten panic songs ever btw

vices & virtues

let's kill tonight: "fate will play us out with a song of pure romance"

hurricane: "you and god both got the guns", "oh I'd confess, I'd confess in the room where i'm blessed, but he didn't come and speak to me or put my heart at ease", "fix me or conflict me, I'll take anything"

trade mistakes: "(don't) let me save you, hold this rope then I'll pull you in 'cause I am an anchor sinking.."

special note to say that the calendar isn't on here bc its literally explicitly unequivocally about mikey way and that's just the truth of the matter I can't twist it in my mind to be tbgb

nearly witches: "trembling hands play my heart like a drum but the beat's gotten lost in the show"

stall me: "a dark room in the wallflower garden of the party", "my moods are mercurial but I'm no mercury, don't hold your breath"

oh glory: "build myself a wall of unhappy highs and only my heart knows my head is lying"

I wanna be free: "everything seems to be estranged when you're alone"

turn off the lights: "turn on the charm for me tonight"

twtltrtd

vegas lights: "bored with looking good", "would you change it if you could?"

casual affair: "so the mess that we'll become leaves something to talk about"

far too young to die: don't even fucking want to talk about this one its the best song panic's ever released and its about tony blair and gordon brown can u imagine that full post coming soon xx

death of a bachelor

victorious: "all my friends we're glorious", "I'm like a scarf trick, it's all up the sleeve"

don't threaten me w a good time: ok I don't have any lyrics for this one I just want someone to do a tony blair edit to this song (tp if you're listening I'd support)

golden days: "the decades might've washed it out"

tgtbatd: look it almost has tbgb in the title

house of memories: this ones been tiktokified so im hesitant... "I wish I could believe you'd never ruined me"

pftw

none! crazy......

[enmi-land]

DIAAA IDK WHEN YOU’LL COME BACK BUT I MISS U I WANNA LEAVE THIS QUESTIONS IF EVER U COME BACK IM RLLY INTERESTED IN MILA

what scandals did kiara and mila have?

what was mila’s rank or how many times did she go to the ground and what were her performances in iland?

does she have savage moments in iland?

who else knows abt kiara and yeonjun’s relationship?

who else knows about mila and the boys relationship?

does heesung still get nightmares about what he did to mila before? Like kissing w kiara thing?

how would the boys react if ever belift decides to kick mila?

how would the boys react to mila writing brought the heat back?

how would the boys react to mila writing songs for girl groups like ill it and le sserafim?

THAT’S ALL HEHEEHEHE I MISS U DIA!! I LOVE MILANA SO MUCH

HELLAIR NONNIE!! I'M NOT BACK OFFICIALLY UNTIL OCTOBER but i'll be here when i have free time just to answer asks and stuff before logging out again 💗 but ahhh thank you for the questions! i'll try my best to answer them!! lots of love and take care sweetie!! ^^

what scandals did kiara and mila have?

well, in kiara's case, there are mostly scandals regarding her attitude. since she's very blunt and has a general idgaf personality (think soyeon from g idle), she may come across as rude, and people have made a big deal about it in the past (and still do tbh). mila has a similar issue where she has been accused of being a diva in a "everyone do as i say" kinda way. they have a lot more targets on their back bc they're the only girls in a predominantly male group, so lots of people make things up about them and there have been a few "scandals" made by solo stans of the boys, or even solo stans of the girls turning on the other female member. thankfully nothing on the severity that causes them to be put on hiatus though.

what was mila’s rank or how many times did she go to the ground and what were her performances in iland?

MINOR SPOILER ALERT! hmmmmm it was different in the old version, but in the new version, she goes to ground once. she ranks low in the final voting for a variety of reasons, but she was mostly ranked pretty highly in global voting, and even producer ranking in part 2 if that makes sense.

does she have savage moments in iland?

at this point and stage, she's still yet to display that side of hers, but she does have minor savage comments here and there--unintentionally, which makes it even funnier--but even those are just teasing and not really "ooooh" worthy.

who else knows abt kiara and yeonjun’s relationship?

their families, txt, enha, their staff, and bang-pd, and a few select friends of kiara, including gaeul from ive and somi. (though they go public in the future, hehe.)

who else knows about mila and the boys relationship?

in the new version of events, a few more people, since in this version, poly relationships are a bit more commonplace. but still not many ppl outside of enha, txt, enha's families, relevant staff, and an oc character and her two partners (who you get to meet in the revamped rmu series.)

does heesung still get nightmares about what he did to mila before? Like kissing w kiara thing?

again, this depends: in the old version, sometimes (though atp they would have moved on from that phase, since it has been a few years.) but in the new version, it doesn't happen, so in that case, no.

how would the boys react if ever belift decides to kick mila?

angry, ofc. but in the new version, i've made a way for them to be able to survive if they decide to leave, namely in the form of a particular oc that i've mentioned in one of my previous answers since she is a good friend and supporter of enha and mila, and forms her own company.

how would the boys react to mila writing brought the heat back?

they would probably tease her a lot, since it's a song to do with jealousy, and they'd ask if it was inspired by them and stuff like that. typical enha behviour really. (tho ofc they're always proud.) XD

how would the boys react to mila writing songs for girl groups like ill it and le sserafim?

same as above really. proud, but teasing depending on the lyrics. and if they promote those songs a lot by doing challenges repeatedly, then that's their own business XD

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for avenging my brother?

hiiiii ^^ so im (30, let's say M for convenience's sake) am currently the leader of a very big sect, which was Not the plan WhatSoEVER (i'll get into it). i was born as the younger sibling to the sect heir, which meant i had free reign to basically do whatever i wanted while he got the responsibilities and stuff! great deal methinks. our father died when we were both still young due to heart issues that run in the family and also being killed. since my brother had a decade or so on me, he pretty much raised me from then on while also having the new role of official sect leader on his shoulders.

again, seems like a good deal! he was strict, and really really insisted i practiced my fighting skills (like that wasn't the literal cause of our family's heart issues) to the point that one time he like kind of burned my paper fan collection in front of me but that's like it's all besides the point okay he loved me and i loved him and we were both there for each other okay? okay

anyway he had this servant/best friend/pretty sure somethingsomething was going on there. he was kind of like a second big brother to me. our interests overlapped and he also preferred stuff like art and poetry over fighting. he understood me in a way that my brother couldn't, and he helped raise me just as much, even accompanying me to my third year of summer courses. which lol was supposed to be a one year course but i failed twice. lmao w/e

things got... bad. a war broke out, the servant betrayed us by letting a dangerous enemy out of his cell, and he and my brother had a horrible fight that ended in the former's expulsion from our sect. fast forward yadda yadda this isn't so much the part of the story it's just context but basically that turned out to be a plan to get close to the enemy sect leader so he could stab him in the back. which turned out to become a recurring theme.

the servant, now a prominent figure in his own sect, my brother, and one basically-a-celeb from another sect became this big trio (and totally a Thing) because of the role they played in ending the war. servant-now-big-boy (let's go with snbb for convenience) used that position to send my brother into a cardiac arrest by playing a melody that was supposed to soothe him differently.

so now i was alone, and with one of the current biggest sects to lead, while all i wanted to do is look cute, paint and be bisexual. you can probably imagine how i felt when i learned who did it, especially considering how not only no one else knew, but he got /rewarded/ for it by becoming a sect leader himself. soooo i got a little silly and here's where i mighttttt be tah :3

basically i started a 10+ years revenge plan. i didn't really plan a /lot/ of it, but i knew i'd have to resurrect one of my childhood friends for it to grab attention away from me etc and such and so on and so forth. but basically i also got a gay and socially rejected teenager killed for that, desecrated the corpse of snbb's mother, paid some people to spread rumours here and there, possibly killed a few cats to lure a group of people where i needed them to be, and adopted a public persona of a useless idiot who couldn't run a sect for the life of me to keep suspsicions off of me for the duration of this, which was Also a part to get back at him because that meant he, as someone responsible and sooo niceys and oh won't you please help your poor little meowmeow with the big scary emails plssss (he basically ran the sect for me lol).

to top it all off i had him killed by the one person that loved him the most (mister sir basically-a-celeb. god his jawline is stronger than my will to live) (he has gone into seclusion and is isolating himself indefinitely to mourn)

but also all this allowed my old bestie to get gay married with his longtime heartthrob

so. aita?

[yonpote]

I need to know why and how you were anti-phannie from 2014-2016

alright here we go i get to talk about THIS shit now.

i was generally anti-rpf at that point, and honestly? i think it was for fair enough reasons as some people were a bit too eager about showing (general) youtubers stories they wrote about them sucking and fucking their friends. i think i was also pretty high and mighty about being a somewhat oldhead phannie tbh, like ugh do these gaming-channel-only people even know about dan being super edgy and offensive 🙄 and lowkey it was a lot of subtly misogynistic "i'm not like other girls" type shit like i was sooo much better than yall cuz i hadn't watched that video (yet.)

i was generally not into these sorts of fandoms to begin with. i wasnt on the superwhopotterlock side, i was on the homestuck/dangan ronpa/anime of the month side of tumblr, if that gives you an idea of what i was like lol. around 2014-15 i was very much in a community that is kinda similar to what you might see on twitter now, where if you had any interests in media that portrayed anything problematic, that means you are in full support of that problematic thing. if dan howell said something racist in 2010, it doesn't matter that he wasn't being racist in 2015 he's still racist and liking him makes you a racist etc. and of course, rpf is included in problematic topics. if you ship real people, even if said people say they don't mind it, you are a sick pervert and you should be in the loony bin for being so depraved. and if you write or read any fiction that has immoral acts, it means you support those acts in real life too and you are trying to normalize abuse and SA (yknow as if whitecishetpatriarchy hasnt normalized that enough) and you're a danger to children and you deserve to rot in prison (yknow as if a queer person writing stories about queer people hasnt heard that one before)

now here's the real kicker. in 2015-2016 i ran a game grumps fan blog where i did talk about shipping the grumps. "wait how were you anti-rpf if-" well have you ever heard of this thing called Lying? or perhaps even, Cognitive Dissonance? i HAD to run a separate blog for this interest, because if my friends knew i consumed slashfic about arin and danny they would stop being friends with me and think im this evil horrible monster etc. genuinely that was where my brain was at, and is a little bit the reason i decided to this day, to make my phannie accounts completely separate from my main accounts.

nowadays, none of my non-phannie friends actually give a fuck and i do occasionally talk about dnp being silly gay white boys w them! at this point i dont post about em on main just out of respect like "hey im sure you dont actually want to hear about british yaoi constantly regardless of our level of friendship so i'll keep it over here okay?"

also, yeah i grew out of thinking consuming media with deplorable acts makes me deplorable. my favorite tv show is hannibal. i know its shocking, but i dont actually support serial killer cannibals. i will say, i dont fuck with "pro/anti" language with regards to what is considered "problematic" or having that be an identity marker. i think that people are free to write fiction as they please so long as its all properly tagged for people who dont enjoy that kind of content to avoid. but i also think there can be and often are problems in the way these stories are written, and yeah if all the romance stories you read growing up involve some sort of force or danger, that CAN normalize this sort of action as inherent to romance stories/real life romance. but i think thats an issue with like, society at large, and it's not on an individual fic writer to be educating teens who read their dead dove fic despite the explicit rating and tags.

TL;DR: BASICALLY. I WAS A DUMBASS KNOW-IT-ALL BUT DW I GOT BETTER.

[faerishv]

hii!! i rlly like ur blog :D! uhm i wanted to request hcs of kou, hanako, tsukasa, nene, and mitsuba with a transmasc y/n that wears their binder too often so it effects them. or just transmasc y/n overall! feel free to ignore if ur uncomfy w the request! - 🐝

hii im glad you enjoy my blog <33 i never wrote for a trans reader in general not being too familiar with the topic so i'll do just general headcanons :) IM SORRY IF THIS ISN'T WHAT YOU EXPECTED 😿

transmasc reader

( hanako , nene , kou , mitsuba , tsukasa )

; hanako :

ok so

if you didn't tell him , he will probably figure it out in a couple of days

when he does , he doesn't say anything

he just ,, doesn't care but in a good way

he doesn't mind that you're trans and he will not do any remarks about it

maybe after you get close to him enough he will ask you questions like "how did you figure out you are trans" or something like that

just out of curiosity

now onto the relationship headcanons

after being by your side for some time

he realizes how much of a great person you are

he wants to be with you every time

he doesn't care if you're a girl or a boy , trans or not

he just loves you for who you are ( cheesy )

( he calls you pretty boy canon !! )

( at first he had some problems remembering the right pronouns .. )

; yashiro :

tbh

she just saw you and thought

" that new boy is kinda cute .. "

when you told her you're trans she was like

" OH "

she still thinks you're cute

she doesn't have problems remembering your pronouns

expect her to bomb you with questions

she doesn't want to sound rude or anything she just wants to know more about you 😾

she's a blushing mess around you tbh

when she confessed she thought you were gonna reject her because of her ankles ..

but when you accepted her she was literally the happiest girl in the world <3

( she helps you choosing some clothes when yall are shopping togheter )

; kou :

when you told him you're trans he was like " ok ! :D "

but he's relivied that you told him

IM SORRY BUT HES STRUGGLING TO REMEBER THE RIGHT PRONOUNS

MY BB IS TRYING I SWEAR

when he get them right give him headpats /hj

anyways

best friends to lovers real

teru supports your relationship

he realize that he has feeling for you when he notice his heartbeat going faster around you

but being dense as he is it takes a lot of time before he notice

he struggle to confess , he never experienced this situation

so you do that for him

he's flustred and tries to hide it

; mitsuba :

i feel like

he made a joke about it

but you took it wrong

he felt bad

and apologized for the first time in his life

like fr he's mean towards anyone but he didn't want you to feel bad pls forgive him :(

from then he tried to think about what he wanted to say before actually saying it

you're lucky fr

you're his only exception

like hanako tho he doesn't ask questions about it

he actually gets the pronouns right

he felt comfortable enough to share his past with you

that's when he realized he took a liking towards you

he tried to talk about it to natsuhiko

bad idea

then he tried to talk to sakura about it

she suggested to confess to you but his ego is to big

so he decided to hint his interest towards you praying you would understeand them

when you confessed he acted so big but he was flustered in the inside 😸

; tsukasa :

let's be honest he doesn't even know what being trans means

you have to explain it to him

but he's still confused

he's a mess with the pronouns 😓

like hanako he doesn't see anything wrong with it

he spends a lot of time attached to you sm that you can't understand if it's because he likes you or its just normal for him

you could be start dating to a day from another

like ,, he will just state that you're his and that's it

good luck 😻

i hate how this turned out but i rll hope you like it 😓 i swear i will improve

[loafbud]

I’m super tired so I might just be yapping nonsense so forgive me.

I really wanna be close friends but my awkwardness and fear of rejection makes it harder than just saying “let’s be friends”

Sorry if this is a weird statement or if it’s tmi lol

I completely understand!

I apologize if I come off super blunt with my response, but I'm very very very hesitant on referring to anyone as a close friend (both irl or online), especially online & if it's someone that I haven't met in-person before or know little about.

OKAY UHHH SO THIS IS HOW MY BRAIN OPERATES: in the context of me seeing someone online where we talked a few times, im like "oh I think this person is cool", i wouldn't consider them as a friend - like, I have mutuals and ppl that I talk to every once in a while but we're not BFFs or anything haha (if any of my mutuals see this or who referred to me as a friend before, I hope y'all don't take it personally!! I know some ppl see mutuals = friends, but when i say "we're mutuals but not friends" it's not me saying "you're cool but idrc about your wellbeing," asdfghj)

Everyone has their different views on what qualifies as a friendship to them, and there's those that do form close friendships online, which is completely fine! But this is only my own feelings about it.

But yeah... I'm admittedly cagey about letting anyone in (me w/ trust issues from past experiences with some ppl only wanting free art from me, or ppl only wanting to be my friend just because I had a lot of followers at the time lol), so it's a trait of mines... that I'll hopefully let go and grow out of lol, because I know that not everyone is like that

I do think you're cool, tho!! I apologize again if this came out super direct or if this wasn't the response you was hoping for: all in all, this is just a "me" thing I have to work through, so you're good

[actualbird]

Hi Zak!! This is a pretty random ask but i was just wondering if you have any tips for starting a fanfic/story? I just keep getting stuck on how to start one (I really love your work/blog 🙏 feeds my tot brain rot fr!!)

hi anon, im glad you like the stuff i make ;w; !!! and ohhh, sure i got tons of tips for that!.....so many that i actually wish i cld get u back here to ask what specifically about starting a story u'd want tips on but for now, i'll go for a general overview :D!!

cuz....to me (i.e. based on my writing process, which i'll be drawing heavily from for these tips), the act of Starting comes in three distinct steps, one after the other:

Idea Generation (what is the story gonna be about and how do i get ideas for that?)

Concept Organization/Outlining (how is the story going to be about this idea and how will i be executing it?)

Creation (GAH, HOW PUT WORDS ON PAGE!?!?!?)

so i'll give general tips for all three!!!

-

Idea Generation Tips

(this is the step that i personally have the least trouble with because my brain makes 5 new ideas every day. it's kinda a curse now because it leads to me having too many wips and concepts and only 1% of them gets to the Creation period jhvjhVJKSHFVHJS BUT ANYHOO, TIPS-)

Check Out Prompt Lists (super fun and easy way to get an idea! theres tons of story and fic prompts out there that you can search up here on tumblr, some of them being lists of lines of dialog or lists of AUs or scenarios. even if you dont follow a prompt exactly, they can be great at kickstarting ur brain into thinking of something related that you Do wanna pursue)

Open/Ask For Prompt Requests (if ur brain doesnt have any ideas, u can ask around and see if anyone ELSE has ideas theyre alright with you writing! my tot fics "reviews for Time's Antiquities, South Stellis | Average Rating: 4.8 Stars" and "but little do we know, the stars welcome him with open arms" were both inspired by anon asks i got!! to those anons who sent those asks, i owe u my life....but yea, maybe other people can give ideas to you! or, again, give Something that can inspire another thing in ur brain to take shape)

Just Ramble With A Friend (SO MANY OF MY FIC IDEAS started because i was just goofing off and playing idea volleyball with fandom buddies in our DMs (shoutout to sam samsspambox, z lukevonhagen, and beck beckthebeetle for being the main culprits of this). like, what started out as a joke conversation eventually makes go "oh no wait i actually wanna see that as a fic" and then boom, Idea Has Been Acquired. but fr, talking with another person makes your brain create things u never thought about before. it's both tons of fun to chat with a buddy as a sounding board, and it yields awesome concepts for stories!)

For Fanfic Specifically, Think About What You Want To See In Canon But Hasn't Happened And You Want It So Bad It's Driving You NUTS (this can be anything from missing scenes you wish were expanded on, scenes you wish went a different way, character relationships you wish you could see more of in canon, go nuts! the fun thing with fanfic is that it's a fertile playground for all the what-ifs, and a lot of my fics' ideas were simply found because i thought "man i know tears of themis is never gonna show me deep found fam moments/artem ptsd consequences after main story 6.2/mariluke, so imma make it myself" JHVSJDHF. ideas are hard to make sometimes, but brains are so good at desiring things. and all those desires? those can also be Ideas for a fic!)

-

Concept Organization/Outlining

(very much skippable if your writing style/personality is more receptive to free-wheeling!! im just the type of writer who always needs an outline to begin something. it helps me structure a raw idea with no shape into something clearer that i can envision a story for)

Outline A Rough Chain Of Events Chronologically (this can be as simple as three bullet points, what happens at the Start of the story, the Middle, and the End. or maybe you can go list down the portions of your fic according to the Freytag's Pyramid Plot Structure: Exposition, Inciting Incident, Rising Action, etc etc.)

Outline A Rough List Of Stuff You Just Want To Happen In The Fic (if your brain is like mine and isnt too great at chronological thinking, make a list of just all the plot points and events or even dialog exchanges u Want to see in the fic. you can organize it in the order u want later once uve put everything down)

Outline The Themes (moving away from plot, many stories are more focused on feelings or characterization or themes. so make a list of the Concepts you want to tackle. this is something i do for my fics that are more introspective, so i outline shit like "EVENT THAT MAKES LUKE INTERNALIZE SELF-LOATHING followed by EVENT THAT MAKES LUKE'S VIEW BE NOTICED BY ANOTHER CHARACTER")

-

Creation

(the worst part of writing....is the writing JAVFJVSDKHFDJHJ but nah fr this is the part i have the hardest time with, so here are tips that help me kickstart the word engine)

You Dont Have To Start Writing The Fic From The Beginning Of Its Story, Start Writing Wherever (confession: a good 75% of my fics are ones where the first scene i actually wrote down was not the start. instead, i just wrote the scene i was most excited to write. and usually thats somewhere in the middle! i do this cuz it makes my brain happy, and a happy brain is much easier to pull words from than a sad brain. plus, when i see the scene I Like Best already written, it gives me motivation to do the rest of the fic because oh my god i want everybody to sEE THIS ONE DANG SCENE!!! start writing the fic at whatever point you want, in whatever order comes most naturally to you, is my point. you can fill the rest in later, but hey, starting to write where you Want has gotten you Started. now you just gotta finish, and finishing when you already have something down is much easier than starting from 0)

Set Tiny Wordcount Goals. And When I Say Tiny, I MEAN TINY!!! (writing is intimidating but if you set a goal of say, 100 words written for a wip per day, at the end of one week, you'll have 700 words. at the end of two, you'll have 1400 words. at the end of a month, 3000. small goals help since it makes you do Something, and that Something will inevitably compound, no matter what goal uve set. and let urself be proud of the goals uve achieved!!! writer brain gets happy when you tell it it's done a good job at reaching a wordcount goal, and like i said earlier, happy brain is much easier to work with than sad brain)

Give Yourself All The Time You Need (i know this sounds counterproductive but sometimes....the best thing you can do for the part of your brain that wants to start creating....is waiting til it's ready. dont pressure yourself, cuz brain will get sad. dont be too hard on yourself, cuz brain will get sad. start when you want to start in the way that works best with your brain and see where things go, but be patient with yourself. sometims Starting is actually the longest part of writing a story and thats fine. it will happen. trust)

-

thats all the tips ive got! and of course, what will work for me wont always work for other people, so please feel free to take what you think applies to you and discard what doesnt resonate.

i hope some part of this can help! happy writing :D

[crispn-n]

the girl on her first errand the mysterious [beast] who craves finer things. the young man whose role to keep the village safe. The moment the girl stepped in、that's where it all began an in·tro·duc·tion

Hapiharo au excitement!!:DD I'm so happy to draw this ideas that been roaming on my mind since last year! Allow me to ramble about the working process of this set

— 01/10/2024

As an opening to October... Initially I wanted to make animation out of this Wolf drawing. Like the classic scene whereas the wolf were caught doing her thing (re : munching her brunch). Yet she immediately noticed your presence few meters away. By the sound of your feet stomping on the leaves? Or perhaps your smell?

I figured out animations would took too much time. 😓 Regular illustration would be good enough with this time restraint!

Took a quite a while before I decide how the final art would end like. Asked my risma pardner for the wolf's eyes treatment. I decided to go w/ the 1st version this time. That eerie feeling... looks nice. At least to give an intimidating first impression before the truth unfolds >:)

This wolf drawing could be seen as her first encountered either with the red riding hood and/or the hunter. The prologue, for sure.

================

— 03/10/2024

Gun down or gun up?

I asked few friends' opinion on my sketches... Most vote went to the 1st one a.k.a gun down! I personally like that one too, i want to draw the hunter as hot cool as possible (trying! my best)

I like how the 1st choice got interpreted as "The Hunter is appearing cautious--all skeptical--as he searches for the feared beast. He lowered his rifle as soon as he realized something is off. Well, it's still the prologue after all!"

So I proceed with that first sketch. My only concern was that his holding-the-riffle pose wasn't clearly visible when cropped to the composition. I still keep the other two version of the sketches, I could still use it for something in the future. Also IDK how to draw riffle for real. JKSDAJKFS BUT thanks CSP gallery for having that free 3D asset. Huge lifesaver!!! I can draw hapiharo doujinshi!!!!

This Hunter drawing was finished and published 5 days later, irl coming in the way @ most of part oof.

================

— 11/10/2024

Finally getting the time to start working on Mikakazukin!! he he he. I came up with various sketches (there are 5 of them but I decide to only show these two!)

As usual, asked my risma pardner to vote again.. The 1st one has a pretty good composition and pose! I like it... but the foreshadowing-lore-accurate sketch was the winner. 😇 (aka the second sketch)

The Red Ridng Hood seemed like she was caught off guard. Looking down, realizing that she might've stepped...onto..something. That led to her first encounter with the wolf.

I thought the second one also has a matching vibe with the rest of the set. The first one is like.. good for aesthetic-purposes.

Writing "Red Riding Hood" takes too much space on the ribbon. So I decided to stick with "The Villager" title for her. It matched the whole set better 🤝😉 Since lil red riding hood wasn't the main focus on this AU, villager suits her too story-wise hehehe

The Red Riding Hood drawing completed the quickest among the other two. I didn't spend too much time pondering what to add or what to fix. It was posted on the next day.

===============

Ok maybe thats all the rambles for this set! Crosses finger I could somehow draw the stories as comics. I feel like I've been cooking quite well for this AU ^_^ if not this month, definitely next year.

Hopefully i'll be able to cook one more thing by the end of october :D

od im so slow... but thats okay i'd like to take all the time i can to pursue what i passion for. Commissioning someone else for this AU been a very hard to achieve due to lot of reasons. So i'll try to cook it myself!!!!

I'd like to thank all my friends that helped me going thru artistic indecisiveness in this creating journey <3 see u on next ramble

[eldritchmochi]

yeah I am pretty young lmao, I'll spare you from another playlist by just naming some artists that gave me inspiration for god knows at some point

first off you mentioned Hozier, which I kinda only mention because he released a new album recently. Arctic Monkeys and Father John Misty are kinda in the same boat as him. More like the same lake.

The Amazing Devil and The Oh Hellos never fail to give me some sort of D&D/character inspiration. Ghost does?? something??? as well with characters, but specific ones. Same with Steam Powered Giraffe.

other than that, Library Magic by The Head And The Heart is very Wizard, along with The Magician by Andy Shauf. and because I just can't go without mentioning it, Queen is my favorite band. :)

that's all! with any luck it'll end up being useful somehow lol

hozier is one of those artists who i dont listen to on purpose like ever i dont thinki could name a single song of his with confidence BUT i know his voice starkly as one i really lusted after pre-t. i saw he just dropped a new album and i HAVE to give it a listen to especially the video of sssomething or other (full album mv??? pLEASE) because it stars domnall gleeson and i am still horny for that man even after all these years (he's the actor for hux for context lmao)

queen is also one of my long time favs, though definitely a band i dont know in and out the way i do with a lot of more modern punk bands lmao. freddie has and always will be Gender (god the video for i want to break free was IT for me in like 8th grade right around when i came out)

ive seen spg live before!! they are *great* experience even if you're not deep into the lore (i had friends who were big lore fans). i have heard precisely One And A Half Ghost Songs and im keeping it that way on purpose because its just sooooooo funny that im not into them because aesthetically they are way up my alley (and one of my sibs, a number of irl buddies, and MANY artists i follow are all nuts for them)

ive some passing familiarity with the artic monkeys, enough that i can pick out a number of their more popular songs on the radio even if i cant name them (i am garbage at song titles tho so)

i'll have to check out the rest, especially good Wizards Songs 👀

in response!! further things to check out:

FUNKY.FM - playlist by alexmoukala who is one of my FAVOURITE video game composers. i know him primarily through twitter where he posts snippets of remixed or reimagined video game music... but FUNKY (this one is particularly relevant to u based of ur playlist shared w me)

ye old spooky club 1995 - playlist by unnerving governess who i am 90% sure is gothic charmschool. i know i got the link thru her but i thiiink she also made it (another playlist that may vibe w u based off your playlist)

creature feature, especially the album "the greatest show unearthed" (ookey spooky rock with a lot of vincent price era horror camp and a lot of really impressive technical skill. i want it to be halloween damnit)

the mind electric by the miracle musical (behold, the essence of the inside of my brain but in tangible form. it is. incredibly ominous. do recommend headphones for max goosebumps (includes a lot of records played backwards type sounds and other distortions))

dance monkey by tones and i (one of my big essek songs since i get a lot of that vibe where he's beholden to his station for *so much* that its a disservice to his growth as a person)

bottom is a rock by mother mother (my m9 as a whole song. the chorus has a line for each of them i stg and if i could reliably draw i would do an old school lyricstuck to it)

my verdict on ur playlist btw is that it is very solid and cohesive a+, but *just* to the left of my tastes, largely because a lot of it skews 70s/80s which just by nature of the beast lacks the bass i like (because it was mixed entirely different compared to modern music, which is better suited for sounding big when played digitally through smaller speakers. ive heard some of these bands on big sound systems and theyre MUCH more in line with my tastes then lmao)

[hebimoonlightwrites]

hiya! i really love your writing and i was wondering if you could do something about ramuda w/ a s/o that lacks self worth/is struggling with mental health issues? they would be a lot like him as well, except they put on a lot of different sides for diff people/groups of people, and their true self is still unknown to them cause of the self manipulation, but theyre a rather soft hearted, kind, and insecure person in general. theyve had a long a rocky past, from being verbally/physically abused by parents, to being excluded at school. theyre also quite good at bottling up their emotions as well, so maybe the scene would start in the middle of a silent panic attack? (although he can tell cause mutual trust and dating for a while) if you arent comfy w/ this, i completely understand (its just a silly rq to help me cope im sorry dndbdjdnd), so please dont pressure yourself! ty for your time and have an amazing day/night! ^^

Writer's corner: Hi, sweetheart! Of course I can do it, but before you start reading, I'd like to talk to you for a few seconds here in my small corner.. I don't know if all the characteristics you've given me have something to do with you, but if they do, I simply want to tell you that you're very strong, that you're an amazing person and that you deserve to be happy, loved and appreciated. I don't know you in person- I don't know your blog either, since you texted me in anon (and that's totally fine as long as you're comfortable and fine♥)- but I simply want to know that I'm proud of you.. you're doing great, sweetheart♥ I don't know if you're currently happy, but if not, I really hope my writing will help you feel better, will cheer you up♥ *hugs hugs* Feel free to text me each time you want to♥ Now I'll let you read.. let me know if there's something you want me to fix or change. Enjoy~♥

!!!I decided to write it, adding some lyrics from Middle of the Night by Elley Duhé.. it's a song I really love and I think it quite matches good with this song..!!!

mc's pronouns: GN! THEY/THEM

Words: 1150

Warnings: sfw but mental health issues, panic attacks, abuses are mentioned.. (please, read respectfully.. unluckily tons of people are struggling with this kind of issues.. If you have a friend who does, help them and make them feel that they are worth it, they're amazing and you're proud of them♥.. thank you)

⭐𝐈𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭⭐

In the middle of the night...

Y/n was moving in their dream.. They were lying on that yellow sofa, in the dark of Ramuda's shop. In that night's darkness only their breath was heard. It was echoing in the room, breaking the silence. What were they dreaming about? What were their mind focusing while their eyes were closed and their body was exhausted? Were they thinking about that... again? Were they thinking about their life, their past, their emotions..?

In the middle of the night..

Y/n's eyes were closing more, while their face was starting making scared and painful expressions, just like if someone was torturing them by stabbing their heart. Some sweat was starting appearing, getting their forehead wet, while some soft warm breaths was leaving their mouth, but maybe even their chest. They could feel their heart beating faster, a great and terrifying fear getting them slowly, wrapping around their body just like a blanket could do in cold nights. They felt some goosebumps and shivers along their spine.. It wasn't winter, but almost summer. Were they feeling cold? No.. but then why were they feeling like this? What was happening? 

These burning flames...

In that dream Y/n found themselves walking in their school's hallway. There were all those students- even their classmates- looking at them with a judging expression, while chuckling, probably making fun of them. It was evident they had bad thoughts about y/n.. but.. they had never done anything wrong.. Yet all those students had always kept ignoring them, treating them like a sort of outcast, excluding them from the friends groups or even from clubs. 

...these crashing waves wash over me like a hurricane

After their classmates, y/n saw their parents into their dream. It wasn't a dream anymore though.. probably it had never been from the very beginning! Their parents.. their disappointed look, their voices judging and saying horrible things, addressing y/n with terrible names and even physically abusing them... It was all painful, yes.. but feeling so distant from people who should be there for you- just like parents- was hurting y/n more... They felt lonely. And they hated it. Those slaps had never hurt as much as that loneliness had... But, even with some blood over their mouth, and some bruises... y/n had smiled. They had forced a smile. They had been so great at bottling up their emotions.. they had been so good at hiding their true self, displaying what actually was a sort of mask, different for each person they had in front. It was like this: y/n used masks- one for their parents, another one for their customers, another one for their "friends"..-. No one had ever seen their true self. Nobody had ever seen through those masks.. Nobody had ever had enough courage to take off their mask, to look at y/n's actual face, to smile looking at their eyes and to say: "It's okay.. I appreciate you for the way you are.. You're perfect like this.. you don't need masks..", well.. Nobody except for Ramuda.

In the middle of the night, in the middle of the night

Soon in the dream they saw the same hallway, full of those people who had never helped them.. who had always ignored or judged them.. who had abused them. All those students, their classmates, their fake friends, their parents... All those people's eyes were piercing, while staring at y/n just like if a freak was passing by, right there in front of their glance. The only person who had a different look in their eyes.. the only one who was standing there, at the end of the hallway, opening his arms just like if he was waiting for an hug.. it was Ramuda. He looked scared and worried.

Just call my name, I'm yours to tame

"Y/n!! Please, wake up!! What's wrong?! Y/n!!"

Y/n opened their eyes suddenly, sitting up immediately, putting an hand on their chest, feeling their heart racing like never before. All those memories, all those terrible memories.. It had been a terrible nightmare to see them again! Y/n's eyes were empty and scared while they were trying their best to calm down. Some tears were starting leaving their eyes, running down their cheeks as y/n realized that.. it had been a nightmare.. they had gotten through all of that mess, but.. they had won. They had overcome it! Ramuda's hand soon reached their face, caressing it softly with his thumb. As y/n turned their head towards him, they saw his eyes.. his blue eyes with shades of pink.. there was a light in those eyes. A light of genuine fear, of genuine worry and care. Ramuda sobbed softly: "Y/n... A-Are you o-okay..?.. I.. I called you.. I called you three t-times.. b-but.. You weren't waking up.. I.. I was scared of losing you!"

In the middle of the night, in the middle of the night

Y/n couldn't help, but hugged Ramuda immediately after they realized that.. yes, he was there.. he was there with them and for them. They both had fallen asleep together, hugging each other, and now the pink-haired man was there as scared as them. Y/n hugged him.. they hugged him as tightly as they could, caressing his sweet pink strawberry-scented hair, feeling how fluffy it felt under their fingers, closing their eyes just to get lost in his warmth. Even if small, Ramuda was like this. This was the real Ramuda.. and this was the real Y/n. They both had never been able to show their true selfs to others.. they had always used masks, trying to create fake personalities just to be liked or simply not to be judge. But they had decided to be genuine, to be real with each other, to show those they thought were their flaws to each other. And so they had ended up in a relationship, dating for a while. Ramuda- just like y/n- had no doubt: y/n was the one he wanted to protect, to hug, to make feel happy all the time. After a long hug, the pink-haired fashion designer broke it just to look at y/n's eyes. He smiled warmly- the warmest and cutest smile he had ever done so far: "It's okay, y/n.. I know what you are feeling.. I know what you've been through... You're like me.. You're perfect for me.. I.. I promise I will keep you safe.. I'll make you happy.. I'll make you feel the most genuine happiness, y/n!!.. I love you..", Ramuda spoke, whispering in the dark of the night. His voice was sounding so low.. so serious like never before. His hands soon reached y/n's face, his fingers caressing their cheeks, when softly he got closer and pressed his lips on theirs. He wanted to make them feel loved and appreciated.

I'm wide awake, I crave your taste in the middle of the night

©hebimoonlightwrites_tumblr Please, do not copy my contents nor repost it without my permission.

[entropy-sea-system]

I know your aplatonic, and I just wanted to check something. I'm decently active within the aro community myself, and I like seeing your content/commentary. when I notice we share space (ex: on reblog comments of posts), I find that I like seeing what you have to say, and I even look forward to it. I don't have any personal desire to befriend you for obvious and not so obvious reasons, but I do like seeing you around and acknowledging your perspectives. My thoughts towards you are almost comparable to how you look forward to sharing shifts with a certain coworker because you can trust them to be competent and reliable. Something akin to acquaintanceship, but more distanced given that we only ever interact within one designated community. Not super frequently, at that.

I just want to know if such a perception of you triggers your repulsion or pushes boundaries. of course if this does make you uncomfortable, I'll simply not bring it up again. I'm moreso curious.

This is a good faith ask from an allopl, and if you do not feel comfortable responding, please feel free to just delete the ask entirely.

That doesn't really trigger my repulsion, because its not really about friendship or so it seems to not be about friendship, but thanks for asking I guess. Id prefer you not call me an acquaintance though as Im repulsed by that term as I associate it w friendship, but it seems to only be a comparison/ meant to say its less close than that so thats probably not like actually calling me an acquaintance.

And also my repulsion toward ppl feeling platonic/friendship things to me is more only if someone expresses that theyre platonically attracted to me or want to be my friend tbh, bc theres no way Id know or care if someone just feels that so I just don't want ppl to express it to me.

I can't know that someone percieves me some way unless they state it, and imo boundaries, including those about repulsion, can't really be about how ppl see you bc that can't be controlled + one doesn't have to know abt it, they can only be about how they act towards you such as what they may express to you. If I know someone has friendship emotions for me Id rather avoid them, but what I don't know can't repulse me.

And Im glad that ppl appreciate my content, I tend to see it as a compliment / ego boost when ppl think that lol . I actually feel kind of similar to what you describe, about some ppl I know, but maybe not very strongly or consistently (I have a tendency to kind of feel like ppl aren't perfect and it doesn't really go to idolising ppl for me usually bc of that, but there are ppl who Id say I like seeing discuss topics and stuff) and I dont even think abt it often, and I dont label it as anything other than emotions maybe, but either way I don't see it as platonic/friendship when I experience that emotion so.

[heleizition]

DAMN not me being like whos cody and the plot post being like GODS FUCKING CLONE CHILD. tell me everything we love an apocalypse harbinger. also CAIN MY BOI poor baby needs that therapy. also the whole 'and god thought mh well i liked that lets try again'? chefs kiss. I Wish To Know The Past Lives by you categorised as kinda boring THING pls. does cain get a bestie? someone give this man a bigger support and luv system. also vik is a BABY? a former child. A BABY!! also W HA T is that fuckery with jasper tell me absolutely everything please

SHES MY FAVORITE WEIRDO GIRL I LOVE HER SO MUCH SHES HOLY AND BRINGS A RELIGIOUS FLAVOR OF TERROR THAT I. CARE ABOUT <===== guy who was not raised religious at all idk why im so into it

so in the plot post i mentionned there's a memory thing. everyone remembers bits here and there of their past life, and usually demons mostly remembers bad things they did bc thats how u manipulate people into doing more things that are . not good. cody and jasper are the only ones with no memories of past life bc they were created in this realm, and had no past life. she has no idea she's god's soldier, They sent her down there mostly for Their own entertainement and everything she does is her own choice and will, even if god can "feel it" (which is why . they end up sending the whole lil family back on earth . for a chance to be happy. bc they feel cody's happiness.)

for the rest :

past lives ! um ill put lil warnings before. each lives.

Nell & Belly : tw for child abuse, sexual abuse and exploitation, adults not helping like they should lol

Nell and Belly (btw their full names are Nathanel and Anabelle) are born twins, nell just a few minutes before his sister. their mother died at birth which sent their father (an already not . good guy) into deep constant rage and pain . once they grow up a bit . i mean like. 7 or so. theres sexual abuse happening . and beatings. selling out his kids for a night for money. nothing fun. nell and belly get through it together until at like 16 nell (who's like, underfed, short, no muscles) snaps and stabs their dad over and over again .

nell only remembers this, killing his dad, with absolutely no context behind (protecting himself, protecting his sister, freeing them) so he thinks he used to be a Bad person. after that they get placed in the system, ig theres a trial but its ruled as legitime defense, and once they're 18 belly just. vanishes. they both deal very differently with what their whole life was, nell cant go on, can barely support himself, thinks he should have died right then, and belly flees from nell to find . somewhere where she can forget. she regrets it but nell dies before she can reconnect (not sure how, his death isn't rly whats important here,,, im thinking . so numb he can't rly recognize whats around him . walk in front of a car. yeah). belly struggles to have a happy life after that and ... im not sure how she dies yet. im thinking drowning bc its a thing that almost happens in the farm au....

as an angel, she doesnt remember much, because there wasn't much happiness in her life. also these two as twins have a bond that still connect them in angel/demon realm ! so they know the other exist and they remember once they meet !!

eden : tw for transphobia, drugs, suicide, abusive family ?

i'll go short w him bc it's not pleasant and it makes me sad <==== guy who MADE this backstory

eden is trans, always feels out of place as a kid, as a teen. his parents kick him out at eighteen bc they "can" and bc even if eden never said anything, they Know and don't want him in here. he has a friend who helps for a while, until the rumors spread about him being a ~ freak ~ and his friend is like. im sorry my parents cant let u impose in the house. anymore. : /// . eden is lost and desperate and doesn't know what to do, sells himself, gets into drugs to get through the days, finds out the days aren't worht getting through, kills himself. yay

he's one of the few who's always remembered his past fully,,,

LENA lena my BABYGIRL um tw for war mostly

this happens in a fictif medieval era lmao she's the princess of a kingdom, daughter of a kind king and queen, destined to rule, fighting among the army already, everyone loves her, except her small kingdom gets torn apart by another kingdom, not that much bigger, but with much greater military strength. the country gets torn apart before the army, the king and queen can do anything. the enemies arrive to the capital and lena doesn't even ask and joins the vanguard. she uses a sword at this point, get through enemies after enemies, and it looks like there's hope, until one of the enemy's captain reach her. it's a bit of a eowyn versus the nazgul vibe in lotr except lena doesn't win. she's slain, and slowly dies on hte battlefield with her beloved country burning, and the people she swore to protect screaming and dying.

she's very loved. i care her so much. she's my default when idk what to draw :3 she remembers being a loved princess, and slowly remember the last fight. it haunts her, the weight of losing this fight, that she couldn't do more, even if it's from a time long gone.

titania ummmm well theres grooming. witch hunt and betrayal.

i have to research the exact period titania's past happens, but its between late 1400 and early 1600s i think !

she loses her parents very young and thus, is cared for by the local church. there's a priest here who teaches her to use her looks and innocence as a way to get things, information, food, anything. once she's 13/14, he starts showing her the more physical way to do so.

she starts using sex as a way to learn things. she's the person who knows the most about anyone in the village. she's an important figure, one who's gifted things to keep silent, who gives her body in exchange for things to hang up against someone. she hates the priest who made her who she is . she couldn't have been something else, happier, lighter, but she's this, and she's too deep in to just stop.

she's too powerful, she knows too much, and when there's word in the village of a witch inhabiting it, they all turn to her. they have a way to get rid of her and the power she holds over them. she screams what she knows when she's brought to the center of the village, screams her hate of the priest who made her who she is, destroys everyone's nice little life because it cost hers. she dies burning, and everyone chooses to act like they never heard her in her final day.

she's the wise calm one who's actually full of anger and wrath. i love her a lot. there's this french song i love ("a witch like any other") which talks abt . women. women and men treating women like they're granted. and like. its a titania song. if u wanna give it a listen this version is amazing altho it's more powerful if u know french....

VIK UM OKAY not much tw here. it's just fucking sad. im a terrible oc parent. it's also heavily inspired by hell's girl season 3's protagonist past..................... it's basically that tbh SOEJFEFSJS

his mother and him are not allowed in the village. his mother is sick. he doesn't know it, he just follows his mother. she's kind and beautiful, gives him food and tells him stories. he's 4. they can't get in the village and he doesn't know why, so they find dry places in the woods to live. it's fun, it's everything he's ever known. one day his mother doesn't wake up, so he goes to try and find food by himself, to surprise her. when he's back, she's still not awake. she's stiff and cold, so he gives her his blanket and waits. days pass. he's hungry, he's thirsty, he's 5, he doesn't know anything, doesn't know how to go on, the usually places he finds bits of food are empty. it's colder and his mother hasn't moved since that day.

it's snowing. it's pretty. he wishes his mom could wake up and see it but he's starting to think that maybe she won't.

vik dies, age 5, in the forest, cold hungry and alone.

he doesn't remember anything, and his ignorance nd naivety makes him so much easier for noah to manipulate him. she doesn't mean to at first, she sees a child who could use some help, and she's always wanted a child. but they're at war, and sacrifices need to be made.

ABEL AND CAIN'S PAST ISNT CLEAR TO ME RN IM SORRYYYYY SOMETHING ABT ABEL BEIGN A RULER AND CAIN HIS SHADOW WHO KILLS FOR HIM YAGHHHHHH IDK MAN abel slowly remembering that he was a mercyless king who made his people suffer just like hte people he's trying to fight rn,,,,,,,,,,, honey

i don't have much planed for cain in tame of support rn im sowwy.................... i wanna work on it tho.......... i have a lot of secondary charactres that he could fit with...............

noah used to be a cool fearless pirate stealing rich people to give to the poor in her hometown mostly. finding strays and helping them. i love that for her . she was a good guy, a robin hood, and then her devotion to god fucked her up (aka hermit the frog by marina). she jst fights bc she thinks it will bring peace until she learns god was just Bored lol !!!!!!!!!!!!!

i don't think i forgot anyone ? if i did i am sorry (bows down to my kids)

jasper's thing......................... well. there's always been experiments. trying to find a being Higher. jasper was created in a lab. then he and another kid, angel this time, were fused. the scar is most likely due to this . for the longest time jasper just thought he had a strong inner voice but it's this other kid (no name yet sowwy!!!!!!! im coming up with this on the spot actually which is why i like being asked abt them it makes me THINK). he's the only saved experiment from this. abel and cain had been sent to investigate on a demon who's part of the high council, but who some people thought was shady. he indeed was. they destroyed eveything (u don't toy with life) and found jasper. omg . they both kind of raised him . ohhhhhhhhhhhhh OHHHHHHH

anyway later in the story, belly and him are fighting opponent, belly is cool and strong but she almost dies and well . those two are in love and it makes jasper's inner angel wake up along with some new powers. not sure exactly what!!!! im thinking !!!! ok i gotta go grocery show now BE BACK SOON BC I SEE MORE THINGS IN MY INBOX

[vibrantfangz]

Wam-Bam!!!

You’re one of my favorite artists, so I hit you with the alphabet of

Questions

A- Are you feeling ok?

B- Barnacles! (What makes you the most peeved?)

C- Color scheme (What’s your favorite color scheme?)

D- Dashing (What fictional character are you most attracted to?)

E- Effortless (What’s your go to hairstyle?)

F- Favorite fantasy world?

G- Girls or boys or neither?

H- Hate (Who do you hate the most?)

I- Intern (If you could be an intern for anyone in the entire world, who would it be?)

J- Jokes (What’s your type of humor?)

K- Kids (How do you feel about kids? Annoying or endearing?)

L- Love (Have you ever been in looooooove?)

M- Movie (What’s your favorite movie?)

N- Nightmare (What’s your worst nightmare?)

O- Obviously 🙄 (What’s a random fun fact that you know?)

P- Powers (If you could have any power, what would it be?)

Q- Q-T-Pie (What’s the cutest thing on earth, would you say?)

R- Really ugly (What is the ugliest feature of a person?)

S- Sad (What’s something that makes you sad?)

T- Tiktoktiktok (What do you like to do in your free time?)

U- Understanding (What’s the most redeeming quality someone can have?)

V- Violence (How much do you traumatize your ocs?)

W- Weather (What’s your favorite type of weather?)

X- IDK WHAT TO DO FOR X I’M SORRY 😔🙍🏻‍♀️

Y- Your biggest hyperfixation rn

Z- Zoopals! (Favorite animal?)

OHHH THOS IS SO SWEET IVE NEVER GOTTEN ASKS LIKE THIS <333 TYSM

A- absolutely! I'm doing fantastic :] how about yourself?

B- Eugh that's a hard one, even though I get peeved easily haha... in terms of art, something that irks me is Art Drama and artists gaining clout over mean trends

C- OOOH pastels!! Rn my favorite combo of colors are yellow, pink and blue!! Aka my signature colors haha

D- Tech from the Bad Batch is the first to top my mind, but when I was younger, I had a huge crush on Darth Vader LOL

E- Oftentimes in a ponytail!! But I used to wear braids ALL the time in middle school

F- OOOH that's a hard one, but probably strange and whimsical ones like the World of Studio Ghibli and The Wizard of Oz, as well as Genshin Impact!

G- If this is about sexuality, I'm currently unlabeled! I know I'm queer and I like everyone, but I don't quite care for labels. Although I did go through a pansexual, omnisexual and lesbian phase haha

H- Definitely 'pray the gay away' conservatives and just unaccepting people in general. Also weirdos like MAPs and Zoos, blegh

I- I've never thought about this!! It's something I'll save for later

J- Humor? Probably really random things LOL, but I find all types of humor unique!

K- Annoying and endearing at the same time. It depends. But I've met some really sweet ones at work! They make my work experience pretty funny sometimes

L- I've been in love a few times! I think- im still figuring out how feelings work haha. Of course, I've had a few childhood crushes, but the most notable was probably with an online friend I sadly cut off. We dated for a few weeks back in 2022 I think?? Ever since I cut them off I've sworn not to online date ever again LOL

M- OOOOH right now it's The Wild Robot, but I also like anything Studio Ghibli!!

N- I've had worse ones than this, but I like to tell this story a lot - when I was little I had a dream that the Cat in the Hat made my toys cone to life, and when I told my parents about it he got mad and made my toys turn on me with pitchforks LOL

O- the insides of figs are lined with dead wasps (yummy)

P- The ability to draw worlds and make them come to life!

Q- CATS!!! I have five, I love them dearly

R- I don't like to say any physical feature is ugly! The only ugly thing about anyone is the evil in their hearts.

S- Probably the thought of those i love passing away, especially my cats and mom </3

T- Draw, daydream, talk with my friends online and browse social media!

U- Learning from their past and choosing to grow from it.

V- A lot, haha :,) but I also love wholesomeness so I add in a good balance! Fret not, my ocs are in good hands!

W- FALL WEATHERRR <33 it's so cozy!!

X- LOLLL DW X IS A HARD ONE

Y- Probably SCAD... its silly but I've been researching Savannah College of Art and Design all week nonstop, and it's my first thought in the mornings

Z- Cats, hehe!! Like I said, I've got five of em!!

Wow, that was a lot- thanks for asking!!! I love to interact with my community ^0^